You could do an uncensored version for some other place. Maybe That Guy with the Glasses Might like it.

That's not much of an upgrade, though... If I can pull myself away from Dissidia for five minutes, I'll have to check your review! You seem like cool people, so I have confidence you'll keep me entertained. Of course, if you can't, I'll have you killed.

No, pressure, though.



So you have a problem with people that draw?! Yeah, you got issues. But, thankfully, ths forum has an ignore user feature, so you can go ahead and vent all your little mental issues while I can talk to the adults uninterrupted.

As the last thing I'll probably say to you, let me say this: see a shrink.

Oh snap, someone got burned.

*fanfare*

Say, where are your reviews? I wanna check them out.

You put me on ignore a long time ago, yet you still listened. And I'll only see a shrink if that's your mother's profession [/yo mama]

It's here.

That would be awesome - but since "Y Ruler of Time" wasn't even able to make a full review of Elfen Lied or similar things, I'm not that confident. But thank you for the nice compliment.


Thanks, your (pre-)approval really means something to me.

So where is this review of Elfen Lied?

Here. It's one of Y's Seven Sinful Series. And Franken Fran was an awesome series.

I subscribed to you, MV. And I hope to see some more reviews by you in the future.

I haven't welcomed you yet so... Hi.

I had a buddy who used to write reviews for hentai games back in high school. His final review was of a gem called X-Change (if you're not familiar with it, you can probably make a pretty accurate guess of what it's about by the name). As terrible as it was, it was the fact that he found out there were two sequels to it that pretty much broke his spirit to keep reviewing the genre.

Anyway, I just watched your reviews thus far, and yeah, they're hilarious. I love the nonchalant way you go about describing how terrible the games are, although not having pictures for the first one kinda took away from it. But the reasons you gave in the Bible Black review for not including the pictures were reasonable enough. Be sure to let us know if and when you decide to do another one.

Thank you very much.


Nice to meet you, too.


Oh yes, X-Change. A very bad game, although not as much as LWR or Bible Black. But there is much more repetition. As of now, it has four (!) sequels.
As for new reviews, I don't know when it'll come out, but I can already tell you what you will hear about: Jewel Knights Crusaders. It's sort of like Sailor Moon meets (even more) horrible art meets pedophilia. Oh joy.

I remember that one. Good luck with it.

Yo, I watched your review of Lightning Warrior Raidy. Solid material, man. You're nice and focused on the task of reviewing the game, but there's enough color commentary that I laughed a couple of times. And your accent is downright refreshing. I was getting sick of nothing but American and British accents for every review of anything posted on YouTube.

I assume the lack of actual game footage was due to the fear of some unintentional TOS violation. Understandable, but still kind of a shame. Some in-game screens—even censored ones—would have been a nice diversion from all the demotivators, and would have helped the review feel a little more pertinent.


EDIT: Disregard that last paragraph; I just saw your review of the Bible Black game. Much better.

Wow, thank you very much.

Yep, it was because of the almost faschistic YouTube-Policies. Seriously, you can't even make some videos about crazy fundamentalists or "mature" things anymore without getting you ass banned faster than you can say "false DMCA".

I think in the next one I'll include some pictures - you need to see the horrible artwork to believe it - but since I have to censor, then at least I want the bars to be somewhat amusing, like in the Something Awful reviews.

Once again, thanks to everyone for their positive and supporting comments.

Look forward to it. BTW, have you ever noticed that in these games the virgins tend to bleed a little too much?

Yes, that is true. Especially in this game. Especially ESPECIALLY from their ass.

This time, I'll not only use more images from the game, but also less demotivators. Since I'm a huge anime-nerd, those will be replaced with occasional references to awesome animes.

Uh, just how much more blood comes out in these games as opposed to real life? We talking about enough to fill a wine glass?

As for why I chose a wine glass specifically, I was thinking about those awesome moments in the Castlevania games where Dracula throws a wine glass full... of... blood...

Shit, now I can't get that disturbing imagery out of my head!

Click to view attachment


So it's safe to assume that these girls are being ass-raped without lube?

Click to view attachment

Not too much, although the fifty gallons of semen make more than up for it. As you probably know, the orgasm of the average hentai-protagonist gives the impression that there was an explosion in the mayonaise factory.

Indeed, Castlevania is awesome. Especially Somacula.

Yes, they are. At one point, our oh-so-badass protagonist assrapes an underage girl. The games says, she is 18, but... I'm not buying it. She looks like nine. At most.

Hahaha, holy shit, I don't think I'll ever be able to look at mayonnaise the same way ever again! I'm kinda grateful that my taste buds and the stuff already don't agree with eachother.

His laugh in Dawn of Sorrow was probably the best laugh a video game villain could ever give out. I love listening to it (I also love listening to how the characters scream out "Soma!" as well, for some reason). I'm a guy who likes to have really weird ring tones for my cellphone, so I'm probably gonna eventually start using his laugh.

I think the only laugh that beats it belongs to an LPer called NakaTeleeli who switched places with the creator of How to Brawl Like a Man, DairunCates, in episode 5 (Mega Marth) as part of an April Fools joke. He didn't do the laugh until somewhere in the middle of the video, when Ike was doing his final smash.

I really hate arrogant, misogynistic, asshole protagonists that feel as if they're doing women a favor by raping them.

So, did this girl eventually begin to enjoy the rape? It wouldn't surprise me if she did,,,

Well Soma is a plant that is considered holy in the Rigveda. The plant's juices were extracted into a drink. Most people beleived the plant to be a hallucinogenic. Yeah, I have WAY too much time on my hands.

Yes, she did. Even ignoring the disgusting stuff, that is logically impossible.

Asshole-Protagonist doesn't even begin to cover it. He is a bastard, a serial rapist, beats people for fun and a child molester. And has some... strange fetisches, to say the least.

By the way, Soma turning into Dracula was actually a very nice twist - even at the second time. And yes, his laugh is awesome. If they only would have had some more dialoge and story (as well as some equipment) in Julius-Mode... oh well. The boss-fight was still cool.

A lolicon asshole who beats and rapes others!? That's got to be one of the worst protagonists I've ever heard of. Usually guys like that are the first assholes to get beaten up in a shounen manga.

Yes. There is only a slight difference: He shot several miles beyond that. Seriously, even most lolicons would say: "Dude, don't you think she is a bit too young?"

Getting beat up? I would suggest introducing him to Legato Bluesummers.

I already knew about some of that. I can thank Brave New World for that. I just remembered Orgy Porgy, haha.

I find it ironic that he is the reincarnation of Dracula has a religious name.

You know, to be honest, I always preferred the bad ending in Aria of Sorrow to the good one.

I haven't actually played Dawn of Sorrow yet, but I have seen the fight against Soma and read all the dialogue for Julius Mode. I agree, that mode definitely needed more dialogue. At the very least, they could've had Soma get into some really cool arguments with the other characters before throwing his wine glass. He talked in the bad ending, so why not in the alternate story that specifically picks up from that ending?

I doubt it. Unless he's going after, like, three year olds, then I don't think most of them would question him. Even then, I still don't think they'd be too harsh on the guy.

Oh, hell yes. Only this time, there doesn't need to be some guy he's pressuring into killing him against his will for the sake of saving the rapist douche.

I think I'll toss this in the conversation - my local FYE-type store has a few hentai games, all out in the open and mixed in with normal hentai. They have papers in front of them half-assedly because the owner is a senile old man, so most of he time these covers are exposed for the world to see (right next to these games, on the bottom rack, are trinkets and stuffed dolls. Just for Kids!).

I have seen many a hentai game there. Perhaps I can recommend a crappy one or two for you to review.

Also over half of said hentai stocked there is - not loli, or tentacle, or your standard hot schoolgirl - but yaoi. I was amazed by this too. Old man owner orders everything himself personally, so I question him when the stock looks like that.

LOLWUT

Might be the one time Vash acutally reconsider his no killing code.

Normal hentai being movies. Hentai games being, well, games.

I have played one Hentai game in my life... sorta. I actually played the best version of the game, game wise, which ironically happens to be the one with console censorship in action. It's a SHMUP called Steam Hearts where you and your transvestite sidekick have to go and cure a bunch of anthropomorphic chicks from an evil cyber viruses with your sperm which for some reason acts as a vaccine.

All crazy ass hallucinogenic induced stupidity aside, the actually SHMUP inside is pretty solid, and the humor's supposedly good, but I wouldn't know since I don't know Japanese.

I think it's time for a hentai thread? I mean this is the introductions section.

No. Just no. And anyway, all the introductions turn out like this.

Just look at the past few. They all degrade.

Those filthy intro topics were just asking to be defiled, exposing their shoulders like that.

Welcome to the forums, Max-Vader! =D

Nostalgia Critic: You know, for kids!

Sorry, I just had to make that reference.


Sounds interesting for future reviews. After all, there is much more stupid hentai-games waiting to be reviewed.


Well, half of humankind is female, after all...


Heh, good one.

I wonder if I should make a video someday over the different styles of reviewing. Yahtzee for example would be the Chaotic Evil-style.

There was this ad in Newtype magazine about a game called Brave Soul. I actually thought it was a Scrapped Princess spin-off at first glance but then it was actually a hentai game with the same character designer as SP. Check it out for future reviews.

I've never played it, but a friend of mine did. Apparently, it's abysmal. In other words, perfect for a review.