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> Faithful Hearts, My First Mock
Post #1
Yaoi Huntress Earth

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post Aug 19 2008, 12:43 AM
Anyone who frequents Encyclopedia Dramatica might be familiar with DisneyFan01, an aspiring animator who not only wants to work for Disney, but get the to publish her Kingdom Hearts riip-off series ("Faithful Hearts") featuring her self-inserted character, Marina, and John Silver (Treasure Planet) as her love interest.

So I thought that I'd try my first mock with her fic series and while I hear that she's not quite as crazy now and this version is after she attempted to make Marina less of a Sue.
I hope you like the mock and my lines are in bold.


My name is Marina Seadrift.

And I'm an alcholic.

I was born on the planet Fantasy Land,

Where I also live in in the real world.

a beautiful small world under the reign of one of the greatest kings that ever lived from our galaxy to the darkest edge of the Etherium.

You mean Elvis? Cool.

My mother died when I was five and my father was a major counselor under Queen Illysa of the Terran Empire, but he visits me every once in a while. Mainly every other month and on special holidays.

When the queen won't put out.

My mother was very sick after she gave birth to me. She was Queen Minnie's most trusted Lady in Waiting and died slowly for five years from tuberculosis.

Then I found out she was hiding in a trailer park in Reno.

For twenty-five years after she died, I grew up in the palace learning so many things on the side of attending a public high school of the kingdom in my teen years, like the line of defense and magic by my two best friends, the Captain of the Guard and the Royal Wizard, and I learned the best of swordsmanship from the King himself.

All at Sue U, classes start Monday.

I know that it's not very common for a young Lady in Waiting like myself to be learning the ways of the sword with a blade that has some magical powers, but it was what I wanted to do when I was little girl after hearing all the of the King's adventures of his past with his two best friends.

Bugs and Daffy?

Everyone in the palace were my best of friends, King Mickey Mouse,

Mary Sue.

Queen Minnie Mouse, Sir Donald Duck, Captain Goofy Goof, Chamberlain Horace Horsecollar,

Mary Sue.

Lady in Waiting Daisy Duck, Chambermaids Clarabelle Cow and Clara Cluck,

Mar...Hell, that joke's getting old.

and the king's dog Pluto.
Sure, there were so many fun things to do during the day

Like crystal meth and beating the homeless.

and my friends were always making me happy every minute, but there are many nights I gaze up at the stars wanting to sail beyond them. I always wanted to know what it was like to be on a real Light Ship and sail through the Etherium, discover new worlds, see all of the other worlds, make several new friends,

And boldly go where no Sue has gone before.

and maybe even live a bit of a life of a pirate.

Along with the slave trading, scurvy, and disease that goes along with it.

After all, the palace could get a little lonely for me at times.

How can that be if Marina has all those friends? Then again, maybe that's only when she doesn't pay them.

But all that was until 'they' arrived. The Nightmares.


That was also the time when 'he' came in my life, the one person who changed my heart around a different way. This was where it all began.

"The ceiling is a floor, too, if you believe in yourself."-Lupin, Breaking Cat News

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Post #2

Because a stoned Pikachu is a fun one.

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post Aug 19 2008, 01:15 AM
The Nightmares?

I just got an image of an evil NiGHTS in my head.

Also, it makes me think of the Heartless.

And Axel.

Great mock!

"Pikachu, noo!" - About every single episode of Pokemon.
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Post #3

#oh it's JUST tk
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post Aug 19 2008, 05:24 AM
I just finished reading the ED article and all I can say is: Good Luck. DF01 is basically the female version of DKM but with a lot more fans. This should be very interesting, especially if any of her fanbrats stumble upon this site.

1. Digiball Z - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 (f)
2. Saiyaman (f)
3. Saiyaman 2 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 (f) <-- FINISHED
4. Teen Titans vs Project AFTER - 2 3 (f)
5. Desires Unspoken - Deluxe Special Edition (f)
6. TK versus Birdboy | Fandom | Empire - Part 1
7. Garden of EVA - Sucks Everybody! (f)
8. What is War? - 1 2
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Post #4

After 4 years in development...

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post Aug 19 2008, 06:31 AM
Man the main braces, there's a shit-storm coming! Wait a tic... Isn't John Silver the fat guy with a Barret rip-off arm? *checks ED* Yep... Jesus I hate the internet sometimes.

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Post #5
Yaoi Huntress Earth

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post Aug 19 2008, 10:57 AM
Yunagirlamy: Thanks. And trust me, the story gets even worse with how much Disneyfan01 rips off from Kingdom Hearts.

T_K_17: Pardon my ignorance, but whose DMK?

Minkeyboodle: I'll give her "credit" for picking an ugly\obscure character to drool over, but if you've ever seen her gallery, it gets really creepy.

"The ceiling is a floor, too, if you believe in yourself."-Lupin, Breaking Cat News

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#oh it's JUST tk
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post Aug 19 2008, 12:18 PM
This is DKM.

1. Digiball Z - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 (f)
2. Saiyaman (f)
3. Saiyaman 2 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 (f) <-- FINISHED
4. Teen Titans vs Project AFTER - 2 3 (f)
5. Desires Unspoken - Deluxe Special Edition (f)
6. TK versus Birdboy | Fandom | Empire - Part 1
7. Garden of EVA - Sucks Everybody! (f)
8. What is War? - 1 2
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Post #7

I don't present solutions, only colorful metaphors

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post Aug 19 2008, 08:33 PM
Ding! You have SHIT.

QUOTE (TigerEyes)
Change is mandatory. It's progress that's optional.

"Stories about ordinary people doing extraordinary things are very popular but I'm a fan of extraordinary people trying to do ordinary things"
-Kelly Turnbull
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Post #8
Yaoi Huntress Earth

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post Aug 20 2008, 05:42 PM

King Mickey was host a grand ball to celebrate the Day of the Sorcerer. It was the anniversary of when King Mickey and Queen Minnie became our rulers and we were giving thanks to the great Sorcerer, where ever he was, who trained King Mickey to be such a wonderful, magical king.

Was that before or after he flooded the place with all those animated brooms?
Fantasy Land was a wonderful place for me to grow up. You see, I was one of few numbers of human beings living on Fantasy Land while everyone else were animals. Mostly mice, duckbills, dog faces,

Is it just me or do those sound like insults?
and many others like that, but I never payed much heed to it. They were all as human as they come.

Insert your favorite yiff joke here. And if you have to ask, youíre better off not knowing.

My times in school were okay.

For me to poop on!

I went to Fantasy Land Academy, which was a public school. It was a good one. I was smart with books and all, but I guess you can say I'm no book nerd. I only have an I.Q. of 120.

Which is above average, but then again, DF01 has already cleared it up thatís her IQ as well.

I had friends and was an average school girl. A lot of the boys in the academy admired me.

Despite the fact that you were trained by royalty, have an above average IQ and all these boys after you. Riiiiigggghhhhtttt.

Many of them flocked around me as though I was one of the school cheerleaders or more like Scarlette O'Hara,

Does that mean Marina will be forced into a post-Civil War wasteland while eating turnips and having borderline non-con sex with Clark Gable? That might actually be interesting.

even though I'm nothing like her.

Then why did you mention it?

But I didn't mind it much of being admired. I went out with a few guys who were nice and all, but things never worked out right around the end.

Because they werenít my designated love interest.

So, I remained single after I graduated. After all, many of my school mates went on with their lives out to the neighboring cities of the world and some of them took off to work and live in other worlds out in the Etherium. I wanted to stay and remain as a Lady in Waiting for Queen Minnie and keep training with King Mickey, Donald, and Goofy. I was doing okay, but I guess in the back of my mind I was a little lonely with all of my beaus out living their lives.

Marina: How dare they not be suicidal at the very thought of being out of my glorious presence!

I was standing next to Queen Minnie when she spoke with her bright and high voice, "Oh, Marina, you did such a wonderful job with the decorations. Everything looks so beautiful."

Queen Minnie: The goatís blood is such a nice touch.

"Thank you, Minnie," I nodded. I always called the King and Queen by their first names because they were the best of best friends I ever had. Besides, it never seemed to bother them.

Because they were too nice to say so to her face.

Mickey said, "You've been awfully quiet for a while, Marina. Is something up?"
"Hmm?" I broke out of my daydream. "Oh, it's nothing. Really."
Minnie said, "Actually, you've been acting like this since this morning when you came back from your stroll in the woods. Did something happen there?"

Marina: That creepy man didnít have candy in his truck like he promised.

"Well. . . something, but I'll tell you later," I sighed.
Mickey and Minnie looked at each other for a second wondering what it was I wasn't telling them right away. I looked out around the ballroom watching everyone waltzing to the orchestra. Donald was dancing with Daisy, Horace was dancing with Clarabelle, and Goofy was dancing with Clara Cluck. I then excused myself from Mickey and Minnie and walked over to the dining table.

For some chilled monkey brains.

I was staring into the punch bowl at my reflection. I felt ashamed that I fibbed to Mickey and Minnie. It wasn't really much of a fib, but I just didn't know what to tell them from what I saw earlier that day. Those eyes staring at me in the forest. The way my heart felt from the look in the eyes.
I shook my head to get out of my daydream.
Then Goofy came to my side, "Hey, Marina. Great party, huh?"
"Yes," I nodded.
I picked up another finger sandwich

Made from the hand of the last cook who displeased the king.

until I heard something behind the waltz music playing.
"What was that?" I asked.
"You heard it, too?" Goofy asked.

Itís the music, stupid.

I turned around seeing that no one else heard it. However, I spotted Mickey and Minnie as they looked like they heard it too.
I asked, "It was faint to me. What did it sound like to you?"
Since Goofy had better hearing than me, he answered, "Gawrsh, I dunno, but reminded me of frog."
I said, "It sound to me like a person struggling to breathe after they break their neck."

And this would be from personal experience, eh Marina?

Goofy tossed his finger sandwich over his shoulder, "Eesh."

Then Marina slipped on it, broke her neck and died. And the peasants rejoiced.

I said, "Look, whatever it was, it's not normal and it's giving me the--"
I stopped in mid-sentence when I heard it again. This time it was louder.
"There it is again!" I said.
Suddenly, the lights in the ballroom began to dim out. Everyone stopped dancing looking up at the ceiling as the lights went out like a candle.
"What the devil?" said Donald.

Maybe itís just me, but I donít think Donald would say that.

"A black out?" asked Daisy.
Goofy asked, "Did we pay the bill?"
All of the guests looked up and mumbled what was going on. Horace raised his hand and said, "Listen, everyone, there's nothing to worry about. I'm sure it's just a---"
Horace's reassurance was ignored by the crowd. By now, everybody had heard the sound, and they were beginning to panic.
Donald held his hand out and had his Staff of Wisdom appear in his grip. He held it up and called, "LIGHT!!!" But his magic didn't bring the lights back on. "What the?"

Hey, thatís just like he does in Kingdom Hearts. *sees angry fans with baseball bats* I mean, Donald knows magic? How cool!

Goofy asked, "Is it okay to worry now?"

Youíre made of stronger stuff than me, Goofy. The Mary-Sue alone wouldíve had me running off screaming.

Just then, Pluto began barking at something. When I looked, I gasped and shouted, "Donald! Daisy! Behind you!!"
They both turned as saw a pair of glaring red eyes were staring behind them making that croaking sound.

Alright, itís the Nobodies. *gets hit with bat* Gee, what could that be?

Donald stood in front of Daisy to protect her as the eyes were preparing to pounce at them, but Goofy jumped in and had the creature smash into dust the second it crashed into his Shield of the Protector.

Which was also in KingdÖ*gets hit again* Disneyfan01ís brilliant mind.

"Nightmares!" Mickey frowned. He reached out and had his Scepter of Justice appear. He held it up and called out, "STARLIGHT!!" And a ball of light shot out of the scepter and flew up to the middle of the ballroom like a flare of a candle. The entire room lit up a little and revealed that the dancing floor was completely circled by nearly fifty little black creatures with long fangs, sharp claws, and dorsal like blades on their backs, joints, and jaws.

Now that I think about it, I remember DS01 mentioning in one of her character sheets that Marina was a bit scared of the dark. How come she been so calm the whole time?

I gasped and held my hand out. My weapon, the Sword of Faith, appear in my grip.

Disneyfan01: Which in no way is shaped like a key. Get bent haters!!!

The guests in the ballroom began to scream and leave the floor. Mickey ran to the group of Nightmares and hit the first one with his scepter making it dissolve into dust. When another leaped at him, he zipped around and smashed it to dust, too.
Donald and Goofy ran to out of the group of Nightmares protecting the guests just in time. The Nightmares were trying to get to the guests, but both Donald and Goofy were too quick for them.

*singing* Oh yeah, it was like lightning, everybody was frightening and the music was soothing, and they all started grooving.

I even jumped in and sliced two Nightmares at the same time. I felt a little strange at first. This was the first time I had ever fought against real enemies. The training through my years was a little different, but now I was finally in a fight. I joined Donald and Goofy in fighting the beast.

And she is perfectly able to take down monsters like that with hardly any field experience. Suuurrreeee.

Mickey shouted, "Horace, Clarabelle, Pluto, get the guests out of here! Quickly!"

Mickey: ďThey donít deserve to be in this crappy fic.Ē

The three of them gathered the guests and led them the way out as Mickey, Donald, Goofy, and I were clearing the way for them all. Even Daisy and Clara Cluck helped out.

What did you think they were going to do? Sit on their asses and eat bon-bons?

When the dancing floor was now clear, the four of us kept fighting the Nightmares without worrying about hitting anyone else. This was the first time I had my chance to fight or to even see a real Nightmare up close. Mickey had told me so many stories about them.

Mickey: Once upon a time there were these monsters called Nightmares. Then end. Go to sleep you little brat.

Nightmares were said to be the darkness born from bad dreams of all mortals, so there's no stop in their creations, and they feed off the light inside pure hearts.

*gets hit with another bat* Hey, I didnít even mention how this came from Kingdom Hearts as well!

They really hate bright sunlight, so they mostly come out at night.

Then how come theyíre still here after Mickeyís light spell?

They can be controlled only by those who have naught but darkness in their hearts or those who have no pureness whatsoever. They can be easy to defeat, but only by those who know what they're doing against them. Mickey told me that the Nightmares use to run wild all over the Etherium,

Streaking, chasing old ladies, and doing all kinds of dirty hippie stuff.

especially over a hundred years ago when Captain Flint the pirate reigned over most of space, but after he disappeared, things were calm ever since. Some Nightmares came up every once in a while since then, but nothing that people like us couldn't handle. They say that the one thing that could kill them with ease was a slash from a blade, a blast from an elemental energy wave, or a shot of a gun as long as the bullet itself goes straight through the body

Uh, thatís more than one thing Marina.

I killed another Nightmare and then another until I wasn't surrounded anymore. I stood still getting ready for another to attack, but that was when I heard something new coming from the ceiling. I looked up only seeing the light Mickey made, but it quickly disappeared when the giant chandelier was falling toward me!!

Alright! Smash her now!

"Marina!!!" Minnie screamed at the last second.
Goofy was just about to bring his bubble shield around me, but before he had the chance, something metal grabbed me,

One of the members of Dethlok. Canít get any more metal than that.

swept me off my feet, and ran me out of the chandelier's path. I had my eyes closed tightly until I heard the sound of gold and crystals crashing and shattering in the middle of the dance floor.
Minnie was short of breath when she said, "Marina! Where are you?! Are you okay?"
I opened my eyes, but the ballroom was dark again that I couldn't see. I felt myself in the arms of someone, but I also felt something metal on my back like a hand.
Mickey killed the last Nightmare and called out, "STARLIGHT!!!"
The ballroom lit up again. Mickey, Donald, Goofy, and Minnie looked at the shattered chandelier, but they saw that I wasn't there. They looked beyond the mess and there I was in the arms of a stranger.
I looked up at my rescuer and gasped, "You!"

You mean Iím in this fanfic. Iím strangely flattered.

"Nice to meet ya again, Lassie," he said.

Come on, she doesnít look a thing like that beloved sitcom dog.

Just then, I was having a flashback of what had happened earlier that day.

Marina: I shouldíve known that punch was spiked, but I was so thirsty.

It was a bright and early morning and misty around Crystal River which was at least a mile within the forest outside the kingdom.
I always took a stroll down the forest barefoot just to daydream, climb trees, sing to myself, and listen to the birds every morning, but this morning was very different. There were no birds and the woods were too still.

They found out there was a Sue in the area.

That was when I heard something new ahead of me. I recognized it as a longboat engine. I was way too curious to leave it alone so I went ahead following the sound. I came up to the edge of ten-foot hugh cliff when the sound came to a halt.

Hugh cliff? Does that mean it has a British accent and solicits other cliffs?

I got down and peeked over the edge. Over at a large tree not too far ahead was a long boat to a longboat that belong to a light ship galleon of a pirate ship.

Ok, that last line was hard to understand and Iím not buying that southern grammar thing as an excuse.

Coming out of the longboat is what made my heart skip several beats. It was a pirate! A real pirate!

Marina: And not just Jack Sparrow cosplayers who promised to call me the next day.

This was the first time in my whole life I had ever seen one this close. As the pirate was looking around checking to see if anyone was around, I got down lower to hide myself and to study his features.

That could be a little tricky since sheís watching over a cliff.

He was a cyborg for one thing. Where his right eye, ear, arm, and leg should be, there were robotic parts. It looked frightening at first, but I kept looking at the rest of him trying to ignore his cyborg half. I recognized his alien race as Ursid.

They never were really clear on what race or what animal John Silver was supposed to represent so Iím guessing sheís going with a bear on this one.

He was a large guy. He had very broad shoulders, a round belly,

From all the Sues he ate.

and stood at least seven feet tall. The one thing I noticed was a slight twinkle in the pirate's left good eye. Just seeing it made me grow a small smile on my face. This was the first time that I had ever seen a real pirate and Ursid, not many of his kind have come that far to Fantasy Land.

They prefer to hang out on the planet, Hanna-Barbara.

I watched as the cyborg pirate walked over to the tree.

Humped it and asked if it was as good for it as it was for him.

His good hand reached in the pocket of this coat and pulled something out. I gasped when we saw what it was. It was a handful of gold and jewels!
I curled my lips in to keep quiet and watch as the cyborg pirate was preparing to hide the handful of treasure in a large knothole in the tree, but before he reached to it, he paused.
I lean forward a little wondering what was up, but I got my answer when the pirate sudden zipped around and shot a laser at me. I was missed by a few inches when I got up and ran off as fast as I could.


I was preparing to head on back to the village. I was closing in on Crystal River. It was a small river, at least fifteen feet wide and the mist was a bit thicker there, but I had the feeling I wouldn't be able to hide from the pirate.

You can vary the sentences a bit, DS01. The second word doesnít always have to be was.

Finally, I spotted the river and the one oak tree that bridged across it. I tripped over a root and fell to the ground, but before I got up, I heard the sound to the pirate getting closer. I leaped to my feet and head for the tree bridge.
I jumped on the bridge and began to run across it with caution because it was very narrow and the river was a little swift. I kept my balance up as I was tiptoeing, but right when I was near the end of the bridge:
"Hold it right there!!"

Which startled Marina, caused her to fall and land on a pile of sharp rocks.

I was surprised from the sound of his voice that I nearly lost my balance. I quickly got down on my hands and knees to keep from falling.


I was frozen on the tree with my heart pounding with fear after I heard the sound of a pistol hammer cocking back. I was in a wide space and if I made a sudden move, I knew I would be shot, but I was too afraid to look and see if the pistol was aiming at my back or head. I remained completely still on all four like an ape as I was listening to the footsteps and whirling gears of the cyborg pirate. When he was stepping onto the tree bridge, I really wanted to run for it, but I just couldn't.

Other wise Iíd never get to meet my designated love interest.

"Alright, missy," he spoke. "Stand up and turn around slowly. I don't want to use this."

John Silver: I still havenít cleaned off the blood from the last Sue I shot.

I closed my eyes tightly not knowing what to do next,

Iíd suggest take off your clothes and offer him your body, but I just ate.

but it looked like I had no choice but to do as he said. I slowly stood up, but did not turn around right away. I was far too scared.
"Turn around!" he ordered again.
A cold chill when down my spine as a small breeze came up raising the misty clouds from the Crystal River. So, I took a deep breath making a bit of warmth go through me and slowly turned around. I opened my eyes and looked straight at the cyborg pirate. Then the same chill went down my spine when I realized that the gun pointing at me was a part of his mechanical arm as though the whole thing was a giant Army Knife. I was short of breath as I was trying my hardest not to shiver or show my fear, even when I saw the cyborg pirate's eye aiming at my forehead like a laser pointer. I swallowed hard and tried not to move.

You donít have to keep saying cyborg pirate. We already know that.

The cyborg pirate kept aiming with his teeth clinched, his good eye closed tightly with the sound of his laser pistol charging up. He just stood at that position a little longer until the anger and 'ready-to-kill' look in his face was gradually melting away. His good eye opened up and his mouth hung open as he slowly lowered his metal arm and laser pistol. He stood up straight and kept staring at me as though he had never seen a woman before. I knew that he was staring right into my eyes because they didn't even twitch a bit to look anywhere else. He was more frozen than I was.

She charms the big bad pirate by having him simply look at her face and sheís still not a Mary Sue. *rolls eyes*

That was until his pistol began to move. I took a small step backwards as I was watching his pistol turn over toward his arm and his metal hand was coming out in it's place. Then he began to calmly walk on the tree bridge towards me. I took another step back not knowing what to do. The cyborg pirate was at least six feet in front of me when he reached up and took off his tricorn.

The trendy new shoe worn by designated love interest everywhere. Just Sue it.

He was about to take another step forward, but I didn't want to stay and look at him any closer.
I zipped around and leaped off the tree towards the other side of the river running as fast as I could. I was like a deer running away from a predator as I leaped over stones and roots without looking back once. I knew I wasn't being followed, but I didn't care. I just kept going until I entered the village. Once I came to the main street towards the palace, I stopped and caught my breath. I held onto my knees and breathed hard, wondering why that pirate would let me go like that. I finally looked back a little as I was still holding my knees and saw nothing but the forest and it's shadows.

Well, thatís the end of this chapter. Hope you enjoyed it.

"The ceiling is a floor, too, if you believe in yourself."-Lupin, Breaking Cat News

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After 4 years in development...

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post Aug 20 2008, 06:09 PM
Well, thatís the end of this chapter. Hope you enjoyed it.

You're kidding right? Oh you meant the mock... that was good.

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Yaoi Huntress Earth

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post Aug 20 2008, 09:01 PM
QUOTE (Minkeyboodle @ Aug 20 2008, 08:09 PM)
You're kidding right?  Oh you meant the mock... that was good.

Should've been more specific. Glad you like it.

"The ceiling is a floor, too, if you believe in yourself."-Lupin, Breaking Cat News

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Post #11

Because a stoned Pikachu is a fun one.

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post Aug 21 2008, 12:55 AM
Story: Shit.

Mock: Brill.

"Pikachu, noo!" - About every single episode of Pokemon.
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post Aug 21 2008, 10:37 AM
Another KH rip off.

This makes me very unhappy.
Also: Good mock (dang it took me awhile to get around to read this.)

So this is how liberty dies. With thunderous applause.
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Yaoi Huntress Earth

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post Aug 21 2008, 02:33 PM
QUOTE (Desdemona @ Aug 21 2008, 12:37 PM)
Another KH rip off.

This makes me very unhappy.
Also: Good mock (dang it took me awhile to get around to read this.)

The sad thing is that DS01 is still in denial that her idea is not a rip-off and the only similarity is that they both have characters who travel the disney movies.

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Post #14
Yaoi Huntress Earth

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post Aug 22 2008, 08:11 PM

"You're John Silver," said Mickey. "Captain John Silver, the pirate."

Mickey: Your restaurant gave me the runs.

He put me down and answered, "Aye, that I am, Your Majesty. At yer service."

Four dollars the first minute and $1.75 each additional minutes.

He tipped his hat and bowed, but Mickey looked at him with a suspicious glare in his eyes.
As the pirate named John Silver stood up straight, I was backing away from him until Minnie came from behind me and held my hand, "Are you all right, Marina?"

Marina: The only scars I have are emotional.

I couldn't stop staring at the cyborg Ursid pirate. I was feeling a little confused as I was in the forest earlier in the day. This was a pirate who nearly killed me back there, but then he lets me go and now he has saved my life. What was going on?

Heís hoping youíll put out.

I answered Minnie, "I'm fine."
Silver looked at me, "Har, that was a close one, eh, Lass?"
Donald stepped forward, "Hey, how did you get in here anyway. Where did you come from?"

The tenth layer of hell.

"I was just passin' by 'til I spotted a herd o' Nightmares heading into the palace,"
Silver answered. "It looks like I came just in time to save you, Miss. . . . . "

E. Jackulate.

I didn't know if I should answer. I just stood there and looked away a little timidly when he looked at me.
But Goofy said, "Her name's Marina. She can be a little shy sometimes."
"Goofy!" I grunted.

Marina: Iím trying to be vulnerable here.

Silver said, "Har, t'ere be nothin' to be shy 'bout. Marina. . . . . . . such a lovely name. Goes perfect with your face."

Just like Mary-Sue.

I blushed and looked away with a frown.
Minnie asked me, "Have you two met before?"
"Kind of," I answered.

Marina: He was the guy who said he had candy in his truck.

Mickey asked, "What are you doing in Fantasy Land anyway? We have a very strict law when it comes to pirates. Especially, those like yourself."

People should be forced to pay exuberant prices for their CDs instead of downloading the only two good songs on the album.

"It is understood, Your Majesty," Silver bowed again, "But from the looks of it, I think you should consider asking for all the help you can get. You must know as well as meself that the Nightmares can grow.

Like Rodents of Unusual Sizes.

They be like a bunch of ants. Once you see one, you know that t'ere must be hundreds more elsewhere."
"He's right, Mickey," said Minnie. "We must search the palace and fast. The Nightmares might do something drastic to our world."

Like run around naked, sing folk music and all kinds of other dirty hippie crap.

Goofy said, "And if they're outside the palace walls, then we better hurry and protect the villagers."
Just then, "Your Majesty!" Clarabelle came running back into the ballroom. "The Nightmares are in the gardens!"
Mickey frowned and took in a deep breath. He looked to the broken chandelier with his eyes twitching back and forth. Something was coming through his mind.

Mickey: What would it be like to lick a dogís butt?

He looked out towards the open balcony of the ballroom. He stared outside and took another deep breath. He nodded once.
"Mickey?" Minnie looked little concerned about the look on his face.
He came out of his thinking trance and looked at his beloved wife whom he loved for ages. He gave her a smiled to show her that he was alright.
Then he said, "Donald, Goofy, Marina, get to the gardens and fast!"

Only in Mary-Sue land would someone put more trust in a lady-in-waiting with next to no combat experience than having a palace guard do it.

"Yes, sir!" the three of us saluted and ran off in the direction where Clarabelle came from.

Donald, Goofy, and I raced out toward the topiary gardens. When we got there, we found three of the topiaries in the shape of lions were alive because the second we came out, a group of Nightmares leaped inside the and took control of them.

*gets hit with a bat* God, I was going to mention how this was from the novel version of ďThe ShiningĒ.

Donald quacked, "Lookth like we're trimming the hedge tonight, guyth."

Donald: ďWhile I practice my stereotypical gay guy voice.Ē

The topiary lions shrieked like real Nightmares and leaped at us, but we brought our guard up and struck them before they had their chance against us.
Donald jumped over the first one. When he was over it, he slammed his staff into the topiary's head. He called out, "LIGHTNING!!!" A large blast of bolts shot out all over the Nightmare and caused it to implode.

Maybe itís just me, but this isnít very exciting.
Goofy charged at the second Nightmare that was running towards him. The Nightmare pounced at him, but Goofy, squatted down, jumped up from under the Nightmare and called out, "BLASTER!!!" Goofy's shield had him shoot up faster from the ground and pound into the Nightmare's chest causing it to blast to pieces of leaves and black dust.

Or do what I do, play Kingdom Hearts and skip the fight scenes, theyíre pretty much the same.

The two topiaries were destroyed leaving me with last one. I leaped at it and sliced my way through it. I turned to see the Nightmare inside dissolve and the topiary pieces to fall, but. . . the two halves quickly turned into two beings like a starfish.

Sure, give her the regenerating one.
I gasped as they pounced back at me together, but then a large hand pushed me down and a large flame shot out at the two topiaries. I looked and saw Silver standing over me with his cyborg hand switched into a flame thrower and the two Nightmares burning with the flames on the topiaries.
Silver turned the flame thrower off as the Nightmares were dissolving. He looked down at me and asked, "You alright, Lass?"
I said, "That's the second time you've helped me. You're better at destroying those monsters than I am."

Silver: Thatís because I pay them off ahead of time.

Silver switched his flame thrower with his hand and said, "Just needs to keep yer guard up n' know what ye're up against when it comes to t'em." He reached his metal hand down to me, "Here. Let me help ya."
I slowly moved back while staring at his hand with a bit of fear. A small quiver went down my spine as I looked back up at his face.
He said, "I know I'm not a pretty sight, Lass, but I won't bite ya." He kept his hand out and said, "It's alright."

Itís usually on the second date before he contemplates killing anyone.

Donald said, "Marina. . . I don't think. . ."

Donald: This fic is very good.

Goofy held his hand out to quiet him.
I really didn't want to be rude especially since it was the second time Silver saved me. So. . . I slowly reached up and placed my hand in his metal fingers. He gently closed his claw like fingers making my hand disappear into his.

Then he crushed it into dust, forcing Marina to sit out the rest of the fic.

Then he helped me as I got up to my feet. I took my hand out of his and shyly glanced away.
"Thank you, Mr. Silver," I said.
Goofy looked around and said, "Is that all the Nightmares that were out here? That wasn't very many."

Donald: I can only count to two afterall.

Donald came up and asked, "Are you okay, Marina?"
"Yes," I nodded. "I just didn't expect that Nightmare to divide like that. I dropped my guard."
Goofy put his hand on my shoulder, "Wull, make sure you don't forget the things I taught ya if that ever happens again: If yur guard leaves ya, you better go find it before it's too late."

Before they find a good fic to be in.

I grew a smile, "I will, Goofy."

And it won first place at the Hicksville garden show.

Silver looked around the garden with his cyborg eyelids opened like a flower as though he was scanning the rest of the place. Then he said, "It looks like they flew the coop. Not a trace o' any others."
"How can you tell?" Donald asked.
Silver's metal eyelids closed and he answered, "I be capable of spotting them beasts with this eye o' mine. Heck, I can spot them coming from miles away with a clear view."
"Gawrsh," Goofy smiled. "Maybe you should stay and help out if they come back."
"Ah, phooey," Donald moaned as he walked by us back toward the castle.

Heís still fuming about Disneyfan01 going back on her promise of giving Marina to him.

"Why not?" said Silver with a shrug. "I think it be high time that I take a stand against them Nightmares. They've been up to no good since the reign o' Cap'n Flint 'imself."
I asked, "But aren't you a pirate like him, too?"

No, he only dresses like that to get chicks.

He cocked a brow, "A pirate I may be, but like Cap'n Flint no pirate can ever be nor ever will. Besides, bein' a pirate doesn't mean that I be elite with the Nightmares. Perhaps many others of me brethren be a part of them, but t'is hate I have for the likes of those beasts."

Silver: Iím sick of making them look pretty by comparison.

Goofy said, "Wull, you should really join us. I have to send the guards out to protect the civilians. We might need all the help we can get."

And where were these guards when the place was getting attacked?

"Goofy," I whispered as I took him by the arm. I pulled him out away from Silver as I wanted to have a quiet talk. I kept my voice down when I said, "I'm not sure if this should be done. He's a pirate. He may not be elite with the Nightmares, but. . . still. . . everyone knows you can't trust a pirate."

And if they said daily horse-whippings were good for the soul, would you agree with that as well?

"Ah, shucks, Marina," Goofy whispered back, "I thought you were always into those tales o' pirates. You even told me you'd like to meet one someday. This is your chance."
"I know, Goof," I nodded. "But. . . that was a long time ago. I've stopped reading most of those stories after graduating."

Then when I made sure my classmates werenít looking, she went right back to them.

He smile, "Oh, c'mon, Marina. I think it'll be fun to have a real pirate help us out. I think Cap'n Silver can be trusted." He looked over his shoulder at Silver and then said to me, "Okay, maybe he's not much to look at, but he saved your life twice now. Let's do it."

I thought Marina was supposed to be the naÔve, over-trusting one? Or was this one of those phony flaws some authors put in to trick their readers into believing they didnít write a sue.

I looked over my shoulder and looked at Silver. He had his side turned on us to look like he didn't want to be rude and listen to our conversation. He turned his head and looked at me with a smile and a twinkle in his eye. It was that twinkle that made me say, "Okay, then. We'll see."

Eye Twinkle: You are getting very trustingÖvery trustingÖ

We turned around and I said, "Sorry about that, Mr--erró

Douchebag? Loser? Morally-ambiguous villain in a box office flop?

I mean Captain Silver. I was just wondering if it would be okay for you to help us out."
He tipped his hat, "You do have me trust, Lassie."
Just then, the three of us heard an engine roar to life somewhere on the other side of the castle. We looked in the direction it was coming from and saw a small rocket blasting off.
"What the heck?" I asked.
Silver said, "A tri-rocket?"
Goofy said, "That's the king's private ship!"

Who wants to make bets that itíll be piloted by Chip and Dale?

"The ceiling is a floor, too, if you believe in yourself."-Lupin, Breaking Cat News

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Post #15
Yaoi Huntress Earth

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post Aug 23 2008, 03:30 AM
"What?" Goofy, Donald, and I gasped when we all came to the throne room.
"Mickey's gone?" Clarabelle asked. "Where did he go?"

The same place he did in Kingdom Hearts.

"I don't know," Minnie shook her head sadly. "He said he had something important to do, kissed me, and apologized. The next thing I know is hearing the rocket taking off."

Man, his mistress sure is demanding.

Daisy asked, "Where's Chip and Dale. Maybe they know where he went."

Just like inÖ

But right before all of us turned around and went for the rocket hangar, Chip and Dale, the chipmunks, came running up through the ballroom. When they approached us, Chip came up closer to Minnie and spoke with his high pitched voice, "Listen everyone, the king is gone! He just came running down to the hangar and took his own ship without saying a thing."

DS01, this isnít some obscure medium, we donít really need these explations of their voices or what they are.

All of us sighed with disappointment.
I moaned, "So much for asking you two."
Dale came up with a rolled up paper,

Smacked Goofy on the nose for peeing on the rug.

"But he did leave this behind.

His lucky rubber woman.

I think it's a note."
"Oh!" Minnie gasped. She rushed over to Dale and took the paper. She unrolled it and began to read it to herself. We watched as her eyes went back and forth over the paper until she blinked and paused. A sad look came to her eyes and she slowly lowered the paper.

Minnie: What does he mean he has no life insurance?

"Your Highness?" Horace asked.
I came down to Minnie and gently took the paper. As I began to read it out loud, she slowly walked over to the throne. I read:

"My dearest Minnie. . .
I am so sorry for leaving like this, but I had to do it.

My secretary demanded that I either marry her or sheíll tell the press.

I never told anyone this before, but I really wish I did. For the past few nights, I've been having strange dreams about bad things happening in the other worlds.

Most of the time they involve busty women in liquid latex walking on my back and telling me what a ďbad little ratĒ Iíve been.

I didn't know what it meant at first, but this invasion that occurred tonight might be the answer. I think the Nightmares are going on the loose destroying the other worlds.

Either that or its gas.

So, I had to go out and help them. Our own is highly protected from such evil,

Yet they were able to easily trash the garden and the ballroom. Whatever you say your majesty.

but there are hundreds of others out there that won't stand a chance. I just can't leave them and the innocent hanging by a thin thread. I have to do what's right."

By letting them rot.

I paused to look over at Minnie as she placed her hand on Mickey's throne.
Clarabelle asked, "What else does it say?"

That Yaoi Huntress Earth rules.

I continued:

"However, I also can't expect to go to every world in the Etherium and help them all on my own. I will need help. Tell Donald, Goofy, and Marina

Because the rest of my soldiers expect to be paid.

that they must do what they can to help the other worlds.

Except for Brave Little Toaster Land, because no one will miss that one.

They will need a ship to take them there

Either that or beat up some of Don Bleuthís characters for it.

and someone to captain them because the Etherium is a dangerous place at times.

Please say Jack Sparrow. Please say Jack Sparrow.

Please have them do this for sake of our lives and the lives of many others out there."

I paused again to look up at Donald and Goofy.
"Us?" Goofy asked.
Donald said, "But we shtill hardly know anything about the Nightmareth! Thish ith the firsht fight we've had againsht them in yearth."

Thatís ok, you got a Sue who will eventually outdo the rest of you.

"I know lots to learn of t'em beasts," said Silver. "I also have a ship out at the bay. The Argentum be her name and what a beauty she is."
"Really?" Goofy smiled. "Hey, then maybe YOU should captain us. You could probably make great spacers out of us."

Spacers? As in hollowing out their torsos, stuffing them full of dishes so you have more room in the kitchen? I sure hope so.

Daisy asked Silver, "Do you think you could do this for us, sir?"
Silver smiled, "Har, serving the king and the lovely queen would be an honor."
I said, "There's more to the note, guys."
"What is it?" Horace asked.
I read,

ďDear Penthouse, I never thought that this would happen to meÖĒ

"There is an old hermit living at the edge of the forest outside the kingdom. I think it would be best if Donald, Goofy, and Marina went to see him first.

Just make sure you go to one on the right of the mountain, because the other eats faces.

He may help them out better than I can. And please tell them that I'm very sorry for not saying good-bye, but this was urgent. I will be careful and I shall return soon.

Or until he loses interest and spends the rest of the trip at the nudie bar.

I love you so much, Minnie.

I put the paper down and stood up whispering, "Mickey."
Goofy asked, "Uh. . . who lives at the edge of the forest?"

The family from Texas Chainsaw Massacre? That would be a cool crossover.
"I never heard of anyone living way out there," said Donald.
"Sir Merlin," said Minnie. "The great wizard of King Arthur, himself."
"THE Sir Merlin?!" I asked with my eyes wide open.
"No way!" Donald jumped.
I said, "If he's still alive after Arthur's time, he'd be like. . . I don't know hundreds of years old."

Even though Arthurís dead at least he doesnít have to put up this story.

Minnie said, "He's one of the most powerful wizard ever. He can't die."
I asked, "How can he help us?"

By giving you all magical powers by letting you fondle his crotch.

Minnie said, "He might know more about the Nightmares than the rest of us here. Perhaps he can give you all the information you can get."

Or you can just go to wikipedia.

I asked, "You mean. . . you want us to go?"
Minnie nodded, "If Mickey thinks that it's the right thing, I think you should. You must go and protect the other worlds. . . . and. . . if you ever find him. . . help Mickey."
"We will!" Donald saluted.
"You can count on us," said Goofy.
Minnie looked up, "Captain Silver?"
"Aye, Your Highness," Silver removed his hat.

The light in the room got caught on his bald spot and blinded everyone.

She said, "It's not common for someone like me to put so much trust in a pirate, but you might be our only help. I need you to assist Marina, Donald, and Goofy on their mission.

Minnie: And make sure they donít leave the toilet seat up.

I place them under you responsibility if you wish to help."
He bowed, "Your Royal Highness. . . I shall be in your service from here on out."
I kept looking at Silver as he spoke. For some reason I didn't know of, there was a part of me that was a little concerned about Silver becoming our captain. But the rest of me was excited because my wish of sailing through the Etherium like a pirate when I was younger was about to come true.

Once again, sheís supposed to be over-trusting, but she hasnít proved this.

Minnie said, "Marina. . . Donald. . . Goofy. . . please be careful. Who know what dangers you might run into out there. Look out for each other as you always do."
I nodded, "We will, Minnie. That's a promise."
Donald raised his wing up to me, "And we'll alwayth go by Mickey'sh motto!"

Shoot first and run like Hell?

I placed my hand on his, and Goofy place his on mine. Then together we said, "We sparkle as one, but together we shine!"

I like mine more.

Much later, Silver brought us to his long boat and he sailed us over the forest to help search for Sir Merlin's home easier. Donald, Goofy, and I were wearing wearing new clothes along the way. Donald was wearing his favorite sailor shirt and hat. Goofy was wearing his orange sweater, brown vest and pants, and funny green hat.

At least DS01 isnít dressing them in the same clothes as their Kingdom Hearts counterparts.

And I was wearing my silk turquoise tank top, cerulean colored denim skirt, black slip-on shoes, and dark grey denim jacket.

Marina: And no underwear, the breeze makes my privates tingle.

We were near the edge of the forest when Donald said, "Are you thure he livesh way out here?"
I said, "That's all the letter mentioned. It's gotta be out here somewhere."
"There it is," said Silver. "Over there."

Silver: The one thatís on fire.

He pointed out something we noticed was a house at the last minute because of smoke coming out of a small chimney. We didn't notice it at first because it was an under ground hut beneath a large oak tree. A first glance at it would make you see an ordinary mound until you spot the windows and light coming from the inside.
Silver landed the longboat in front of the house and turned the engine off as the three of us hopped out. Silver got out as Donald was the first to the door. He knocked and said, "Hello? Thir Merlin?"
But there was no answer.

He was found dead in the bathroom a day later.

I looked in the window but it was so dusty, that I could hardly see much. All I could make out was a lit fireplace, maybe a thousand books in tall piles since there was no room in the shelves, a chemistry set, and a bed.

Marina: Heís even got that really neat vibrating pink hot dog Minnie keeps in her drawer.

Goofy knocked on the door, "Anybody home?"
Still no answer.
I said, "I don't see anyone in there. We probably just missed him."
But then, Silver heard something in the woods behind us. He switched his hand into a sword and said, "Who's out there."

With his noticing so much, Silverís becoming a bit of a Sue as well.
Donald, Goofy, and I looked into the darkness of the woods and spotted a tall figure with a pointed head coming our way. Thinking it was a Nightmare, we drew out our weapons, but then the figure came into the moonlight revealing that it was just an old man with a tall wizards' hat.

Marina: Aw, I wanted to prove that I wasnít totally useless.

"Easy there, now," he said, "Don't be so alarmed. Put your weapons away."
I asked, "Are you Sir Merlin?"
The old man nodded, "I am he, but please just call me Merlin."
All of of us put our weapons away and smiled at how the old man looked kind of silly. His clothes from head to toe were blue and he had a long white beard nearly reaching to where his knees would be. He had friendly looking eyes and a small pair of spectacles resting on his round nose. In his hand was a bucket full of water and in his other hand was a cane carved out of wood.

I donít know whatís so silly about that. He looks like every other cartoon wizard Iíve seen.

Goofy said, "Sorry for being on alert, Merlin, but there were a lot of Nightmares appearing in castle. We thought you were one of them."
"Oh, Heavens, no," said Merlin. "I was out at my well to get some water. I was just about to put on some tea." He walked by us and opened the door, "Come in. All of you. Do come in."

Merlin: And donít mind any of the Saw-like traps, theyíre for those pesky Mormons.

The four of us followed him inside he warm home as he said, "So, the Nightmares have returned? It's been a very long time since I last had anyone ask me about them.

Most people prefer to wing it.

Donald said, "What'th worsht about it ish King Mickey hash left to fight them."
I said, "And he wants us to go and do the same in the other worlds out in the Etherium."

Youíd think for such a wise, powerful, magical king, Mickey would have some kind of lines of communication with those other worlds in case of emergencies.

Goofy said, "He wrote us a note saying that you might help us, and here we are."
"I see," said Merlin as he pour his bucket of water into a tea kettle over the fire. "Well, I'm not quite sure if I have many recent books on the Nightmares. All of the old ones might out date the ones you have faced off tonight."

Marina: Youíre right. Kingdom Hearts hasnít come out in Fantasy Land yet.

Silver asked, "It might as well do. Where are these books?"
"What is your name, sir?" asked Merlin.
Goofy answered, "This is John Silver, the pirate."
"Ah, yes, of course," said Merlin as he straightened his glasses. "And you two are Sir Donald Duck and Captain Goofy Goof. . . and you must be. . . Marina Seadrift."
"That's right, Sir," I nodded.
"It is nice to know all of you in person," said Merlin.

Itís nice to know that even a recluse hermit knows who Marina is.

"Now. . . I have that book given to you in no time."

Uh, what the heck does this sentence mean?

He held his hand out and a small puff of smoke came to his palms. When the little cloud disappeared, an old book was in his hands. He said, "Ah, here it--- no. Wait. This is the wrong one. I'm sorry."

Merlin: Shota collection, sorry.

He turned the book over and said, "Oh, yes. I almost forgot about this poor thing. You see, it was nearly destroyed by the Nightmares not so long ago. So many of the pages are missing and the characters inside it have no where to go without a story line."

Kinda like Marry Me.

"Huh?" none of us understood.
Merlin smile, "This is no ordinary book. Inside of it is a small world of little characters that can get quite confused at times when bad things happen. Being such young creatures they sometimes need someone to turn to and help them.

Like Dr. Phil.

Now that there are hardly any pages left, the main character is lost, alone, and confused because of it."
"Poor thing," said Goofy.
"What are you talking about?" Silver squinted one eye closed. "How can a book be another world?"
"You'll see," said Merlin. "Would one of you like to volunteer and head into this world to help the characters?"

Marina: Only if theyíre hot.

Donald an Goofy still looked a little confused. So I slowly raised my hand, "I'll do it."
"Very well," Merlin opened the book.
Donald said, "But what about the help againsht the Nightmareth?"
I answered, "You guys get the book while I'm in there and tell me about it when I get back."

Or just make up some shit as you go along.

"Be careful in there, Marina," said Goofy.
I nodded and faced Merlin as he handed the opened book to me. I asked, "What do I do?"
He answered, "Just start reading it in your mind and concentrate on the page."
He held the book in front of me as I started reading in my head, "Winnie the Pooh, being a bear stuffed with fluff and with a very small brain, sat on an old log thinking. He thought and thought and thought. . . "

Oh man, canít this girl come up with an idea of her own? Itís practically in the same order as Kingdom Hearts with the Winnie the Pooh part being handled pretty much in the same way.

"The ceiling is a floor, too, if you believe in yourself."-Lupin, Breaking Cat News

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Post #16
Yaoi Huntress Earth

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post Aug 24 2008, 02:48 AM

I opened my eyes after seeing a bright light from the book

*in a ghostly voice* Move toward the light, Marina.

and found myself in a warm sunlight.

Which came from a giant kidís magnifying glass.

I was in a large opening in the middle of a forest hearing birds chirping and leaves dancing in the light breeze. The air was so sweet and fresh that you could smell honey being made by bees in the trees. It was such a beautiful place that I grew a smile until I heard a small voice coming from behind me.

Marina: And in my head.

I turned around and spotted a two foot tall yellow bear stuffed with fluff and wearing a red shirt. He was sitting on a log while tapping on his forehead to think very hard on something.

Pooh: What is it about Piglet that makes him so damn sexy?

"Think, think, think," he said with such a sweet voice as I approached him. "Think, think, think, think . . ."

About the starving children.

When I came up to him, I asked, "Are you okay, little fella?"
"Oh, yes," he answered. "I was just thinking."
"Of what?" I asked.

Pooh: Kingdom Hearts.

"I. . . forget," he sighed.

Now heís going to have to maul you.

I chuckled, "I'm sorry."
He looked up at me and asked, "I've never seen you around. Who are you?"
"Marina," I answered. "What's your name?"
"I'm Winnie the Pooh, or Pooh for short," he answered. "Welcome to the Hundred Acre Wood."

So thatís what theyíve been calling New Jersey now a days.

"The Hundred Acre Wood?" I looked at the forest around us. "Who else lives here?"

Sora and Riku.

"Why, I do with all of my friends," Pooh answered. "Every day, we would play games

Like pin the panties on the transvestite.

like hide-and-go-seek and Pooh Sticks, sing songs, I would eat some honey. Oh, a small smakeral of honey would be nice right now.

And by honey he means blow. And by smakeral he means a truck load.

My tumbly is getting rather rumbly."

Pooh: The bugs! The bugs *starts stabbing his arm* They wonít get off me!

I asked, "Then why don't you get a bite to eat?"
"I would," he sighed. "But. . .

Cannibalism is illegal in most countries.

I'm afraid that if I start looking for some honey, I might forget to look for my friends and they won't find me here."
I kneeled down to him and asked, "You lost your friends?"

Thatís what he gets for banging their wives and doing a bad job of it.

"Yes," he nodded. "A big storm came up and everyone got lost in it. . . even me. When the storm ended I wanted to find my friends, but I didn't know where to look. So, I came here to think about where I should start looking but. . . oh bother. . . there are so many places to look. I didn't know where to start."

You could try that new Chinese restaurant with the 2-for-1 Roo-Shu Platter.

"You poor thing," I smiled. "You got so confused that you began to forget what you were thinking of."

Pooh: No shit Sherlock.

"I did?" he asked.
I stood up, "I'll tell you what, I'll go with you and help you find your friends. It's a whole lot easier to look for someone with another person next to you."
Pooh smiled, "You will?"

What else are Sues supposed to do? Stay quiet and out of the way like the cannon characters will eventually do?

"Of course," I nodded. I held my hand down to him, "C'mon. Let's go."
Pooh reached up placing his little (fingerless) paw in mine as he hopped off the log. The two of us started to walk towards the forest on a grassy path leading through when I asked, "Now, try to think of where one of your friends might be?"

Marina: And donít say Hooters like last time.

"Well. . ." Pooh thought out loud. "There's my very dear friend Piglet. The last place I saw him was near my favorite honey tree not to far from the house of my friend Rabbit."
"Then let's look there first," I said. "Do you know the way?"
"Oh yes," he nodded. "It's just up this path. Just follow the sweet smell of honey and you'll find it."

And if you start smelling body odor, youíve gone too far and landed in an Anime-Con.

I looked up and took a sniff. I smelled honey and knew it was at a fair distance. I smiled at the sweet smell and followed it with Pooh. Along the way, I kept looking around us in the forest. The trees were so big and beautiful with the color of the sun touching them as the gentle wind breathed through them. The woods were so peaceful, I was glad that there were no Nightmares on the inside of the storybook. I thought it would be horrible for such a beautiful place like the Hundred Acre Wood to fall in the hands of the Nightmares.

They might turn it into a national park where all of Pooh and his friends can live in peace and harmony and then wonít you feel like the bad guy, eh Marina?

The sound of peace got me nearly in a trance especially since there was no place like this anywhere in Fantasy Land for all I knew.
"Marina?" Pooh asked.
"Hmm?" I came out of my trance and looked down at him. "Yes?"
He smiled, "Oh, nothing."

I was just going to announce my love for you like the script demanded.

I said, "I was just enjoying the scenery. The Hundred Acre Wood is the first place I have ever traveled to. It's so beautiful."
"Isn't it wonderful?" Pooh asked. "You could stay here as long as you want, you know."
I chuckled, "I wish I could. But I might have to head on out as soon as I help you find your friends. I have an important mission to do."
"Oh, that's too bad," he said.

Pooh: I havenít had a woman in years.

"But let's make the best of it while I'm here, Pooh," I smiled joyously at him.
He made an adorable giggle that made my heart pound like a child having a wonderful time with her teddy bear. I kept a gentle hold on his paw and the two of us continued our way through the woods.

Knocking every loser that was in our way.

It wasn't a very long walk when Pooh and I came to an opening the the forest where an old lonely tree grew in the center next to a hollow log lying on the ground and a large puddle of mud. The smell of honey became stronger when Pooh let go of my hand and began to skip towards the tree.
"Oh, I smell a large smakeral of honey," he said.
I smiled and walked after him as I kept looking up at a large hole in the old tree seeing a colony of honeybees swarming about. I said, "Fresh honey. I never thought it would smell this good."
"Isn't it wonderful?" Pooh asked as he kept skipping towards the tree. "Now for me to have a nice little taste of honey."
I walked quickly after him and asked, "Wait, Pooh. If you do that, you'll make the bees angry. I know for sure that bees are no fun to be around with if you make them angry."

They attempted to do the world a favor and try to sting Marina to death.

Pooh stopped skipping, stood still, and then sat down on the grass, "Oh, bother. What to do now." He held his elbow and tapped on his head, "Think, think, think."

Please donít tell me that sheís the one who comes up with the Little Black Rain Cloud idea.

I covered my mouth to hide my smile, which was an old habit of mine. I couldn't help but think of how cute Pooh was when he was thinking so hard. That was until I heard a new voice coming our way.

Voice: Show thy hindquarters to the bear.

It was a tiny voice calling, "Oh, help me! P-p-p-please! Someone! S-s-s-save me!!"
I looked over to where the voice was coming from and spotted a blue balloon tied to the end of a string as it was floating in the gentle breeze. However, I spotted that underneath the balloon was a tiny piglet also stuffed with fluff holding on for dear life with the string.
"Piglet?" Pooh stood up.
"Oh! Pooh!" the little stuffed animal called out. "Help me!"
"Oh my goodness!" I gasped as the breeze was bringing the balloon down a little lower. I knew that it would shortly go back up, so I had to act fast. I ran towards the pathway of the balloon, had my sword appear in my hand, and called out, "BLASTER!!!"

Oh well, it was nice knowing you Piglet.

I pointed the sword beneath me and a large blast of water shot out so hard that I was lifted off the ground and up towards the balloon. I grabbed the string with one hand, had my sword fade out, and held the little piglet in my arm.

And realized with the right spices, cartoon pig can taste pretty damn good.

I flipped in the air and landed softly on my feet. I looked at Piglet as he had his tiny paws covering his beady eyes and he was shivering with fear.
I smiled and said, "It's okay, little guy. You're safe now."
Piglet slowly uncovered his eyes and looked up at me, "I am?"

Unless she gets hungry.

I gently set him down on the ground and said, "Safe and sound. I'll bet it was scary being up there with no way down."
"Oh, i-i-it was," he slightly stuttered. "I never thought I was going to get down at all. Thank you very much."
"Piglet," said Pooh as he walked over to us.
"Oh, Pooh!" Piglet smiled and ran to his friend. "I'm so glad I found you."
"And I'm very glad I found you," said Pooh as he gave Piglet a big hug. "Are you alright?"
"I-I-I am now," said Piglet. "Thanks to. . . uh. . ."
"Oh," said Pooh. "This is Marina. She's helping me find you and the others. Now that we've found you, we can find the others together."
Piglet said, "I hope they're all safe. Let's go find them."
"But first," Pooh looked at me, "I now have a way to get some honey."
I asked, "How?"

By putting an ad in the paper above the Eavesdrop Midget Sex Line.

"From that balloon," he answered.
I came down to him and said, "But I don't think you get honey from a balloon."
"I can," he said. "I shall fly like a bee. . ." He took the balloon and began to float off the ground. "Up to the honey tree. See?"
I stood up and held his foot before he went above my head, "Hold on a second, Pooh. It'll still make the bees angry if you take their honey."

You should see the curbing the last poor bastard got.

"Then perhaps I shall disguise myself into something they won't be angry at," said Pooh.
I set him down on the ground and asked, "But what kind of a disguise?"
"Hmm. . ." Pooh looked around him and stopped to look at the large puddle of mud. "I've got it!"
He handed me the balloon and walked over to the puddle. When he came to it, he jumped right in and rolled all around in it.

Then he found out it wasnít a puddle.

"Pooh?" I raised a brow. When he didn't respond, I asked Piglet, "What's he doing?"
"I d-d-don't know," he answered.
When Pooh was covered from head to toe with mud, he hopped out and said, "There. Isn't this a clever disguise, Marina?"

I see; heís going as Rosie OíDonnel.

When he walked up to me, I asked, "What are you suppose to be anyway?"
"A little black rain cloud," he answered, "Everyone knows that a little black rain cloud never eats honey. They just float around wondering where they drip."
I giggled covering my smile again, "You're a silly ol' bear, Pooh."
Pooh asked, "Now could you aim me right up at the bees?"

Man, if I wanted to see a re-telling of this story, Iíd watch the animated series.
I looked up and saw that the nest was right over us. I knelt down and said, "I just hope this will work. Ready?"
He held on to the string of the balloon and nodded, "Ready."
"One. . . two. . . three!" I bounced the string up and Pooh went up with it slowly.
Piglet and I watched a Pooh rose slowly toward the nest and hummed a little song to himself.

Pooh: *singing* I like big butts and I cannot lie.

Piglet got closer to me, "Oh d-d-d-dear. I'm worried, Marina."
I said, "So am I, Piglet. . .but. . . if this what Pooh wants, I guess it's for the best. Let him do what he wishes. I'm sure he'll be okay."

So you wonít protest if he starts snorting cocaine up his bear-snout?

Pooh hovered higher up the tree until he was right next to the large hole containing the nest and honey. Pooh held on to the balloon with one paw and reached into the nest with his other. However, when he was now eating the handful of honey he pulled out, all of the mud on his fur was starting to drip off entirely.
"Oh dear!" Piglet gasped.
"Pooh," I called, "The mud's coming off!"
"What did you say?" he looked down at us with another handful of honey in his paw.
"Pooh!!" I gasped when Piglet and I saw a swarm of bees coming out of the nest.
Pooh looked right when the bees flew up and stung the balloon. I ran under Pooh when the balloon popped and he began to fall.
"Pooh!!" Piglet gasped as Pooh was falling.
I opened my arms and grabbed Pooh losing my own balance and fell over.
Piglet ran over to us, "Pooh, Marina! Are you alright?!"
Pooh and I looked up at the tree as we heard the buzz of the bees getting strong from anger. I gasped and picked up Piglet in my other arm as I quickly stood up. I ran yelling, "Can't stay any longer! Sorry about this, Pooh!"
"Oh bother!!" he held on to me with Piglet as I ran as fast as I could to stay out of the bees' sight.

A.A. Milne you are not DS01.

When I was on the path way in the forest, I kept going even when I asked, "Are they coming?"

With the bargain brand vibrators they own, itíll take a few hours.

Pooh looked over my shoulder and answered, "I don't think so."
I went a little further just in case and hid myself behind a tree. I paused to catch my breath for a second and listened. The sound of the bees wasn't near anymore. I sighed and slid my back down the tree until I was sitting on the ground. I let go of Pooh and Piglet as I leaned my head back against the tree.
Piglet asked, "Are you okay?"
I opened my eyes and smiled at Piglet answering, "Yeah. It's just that, I've never really was crazy about bees in the beginning." I sat on my heels and began to dust off the caked-on mud on Pooh's body. I told him, "I'm sorry it didn't work out, Pooh Bear. If this mud stayed on a little longer, it would've worked."

About as much as painting a target on yourself with the word, ďPlease sting me.Ē

Pooh rubbed his belly, "My tumbly is still rather rumbly."
I cracked a smile, "Yeah. I'm sure you didn't get enough. I'm sorry, Pooh."
Piglet said, "Don't worry, Pooh Bear. W-W-We'll help you find more. Won't we, Marina?"
"Absolutely," I nodded.

Heíll just puke it up later.

"A-a-as a matter of fact," said Piglet, "when I was in the air with that balloon, I think I saw Rabbit at his house. I tried to call him out for help, b-b-but I guess I was too far away."
"Rabbit?" I asked.
Pooh smiled, "Our very good friend Rabbit always has a lot of honey. Perhaps we could visit him for brunchfast."
I said, "Okay. If he won't mind it, let go see him. Where does he live?"
Piget pointed down the path, "Just d-d-down that way."
I stood up, "Very well. Let's see if he's home. Hopefully he hasn't gone away like you said, Pooh."
"Don't worry," said Pooh.

At the rate this arc is going, nothing bad will happen.

"Rabbit never minds us stopping by for honey."
I took Pooh's paw and Piglet took his other as we walked down the path together.
Pooh and Piglet lead the way down the forest until we came to another large opening like a field. In front of us was a large vegetable garden full of carrots, lettuce, pumpkins, tomatoes, and all sorts of fresh vegetables surrounded by a small wooden fence, but the garden looked slightly damaged as large tree branches were landed in the middle of it because of the storm Pooh told me about. The garden rested next to a little stream that had a small wooden bridge over it leading to a sandy ground where a large oak tree stood with a door and windows on the trunk. Sitting in front of the tree was a little mailbox with the name "Rabbit" on it from the handwritting of a five-year-old child.
I asked, "You think he's home?"

I donít want to get into a rant hereÖGod, and I thought Questionable Content was boring. Iím not expecting massive destruction, but I didnít want a play-by-play retelling of the original stories with your Mary-Sue. Iím not that much of a Pooh fan, but I wouldíve liked to have seen DS01 put a new spin on things.

Pooh let go of my hand and walked ahead with Piglet as I walked slower to gaze at the garden before I came to the bridge.When Pooh and Piglet came up to the front door, Pooh knocked first saying, "Hello? Rabbit? Are you home?"
"No," said a voice inside the house.
That caught my attention.
Pooh frowned, "Oh bother."

Pooh: Now I got to find someone else to mooch off of.

I covered my mouth to try not to laugh. I cleared my throat and said, "Gosh, it looks like we just missed him."
"But who's in the house now?" Piglet asked.
I shrugged and played along, "Don't know. Does Rabbit have a back door or something?"
Pooh answered, "There's a back door. A hole underneath the tree."
I said, "Let's check it out then."
Pooh, Piglet, and I walked around the large tree and since was tall enough, I glanced inside one of the window and saw a yellow rabbit who was at least the same height as Pooh rushing back and forth in the kitchen. From the look of it, he was trying to hide a few pots of honey in a cabinet. I smiled and continued going around the tree. I met up with Pooh and Piglet as they both stood in front of a hole on a mound of sand the tree was resting on.
Pooh peeked inside the hole and asked, "Is anybody home?"
"No," the voice responded again. "Nobody's home!"
I covered my mouth and started to giggle again.

Trying not to be eaten out of house in home is funny.

Pooh began to try to climb into the small hole, "Nobody? Your voice sounds just like him."
"It isn't meant to be," said the voice.
Pooh's head came into the house with a smile, "Oh, hello Rabbit."
"Hello Pooh. POOH!!!" Rabbit got so startled that he nearly dropped the honey pot in his hands. He hid it behind his back and nearly studdered, "How nice to see you, Pooh. I was j-just thinking about you. After I lost track of you and the others in that storm, I-I just quickly ran home. Why, Piglet, you're here too. Heh. . . how nice." When he paused for a second as Pooh came in with Piglet, he lowered his ears and sighed, "How 'bout lunch?"
"Why certainly," Pooh rushed over to the kitchen table and sat down.
"Nothing for me, p-p-please," said Piglet. "I'm just glad to know you're okay, Rabbit."
"Thank you, Piglet," Rabbit sighed again as he placed the large honey pot in front of Pooh. "Here you are, Pooh. Enjoy it."

Rabbit: I put an extra handful of broken glass in it.
"Thank you, Rabbit," said Pooh as he held the pot in his lap and started to dig in.
That was when there was a knock at the front door. Rabbit looked and asked, "Oh? Was there someone else with you guys?"
"Y-yes," Piglet nodded. "Our new friend, Marina. Can she come in?"

Rabbit: Is she over 18? ĎCause Iím not going to jail again.

Rabbit sighed, "Might as well now that we're all here. Come in."
I opened the door and walked in. I said, "Hi there. You must be Rabbit."
"I am," he nodded. "How do you do, Marina."
I looked at Pooh as he was focusing only on the honey he was eating. I giggled, "Well, I guess Pooh's pretty happy now that he finally got a bit of honey. He told me when we first met he hasn't eaten since that storm."
Piglet said, "Marina says that she's here to help us. She s-s-saved me when I was trapped in the wind with that b-b-balloon. Now I guess she helped us by finding you and knowing that you're okay."
Rabbit's ears went back up when he made a small smile at me, "Well, Marina. It looks like you're quite the nice person. Helping Piglet out of the wind. Helping him and Pooh find me and the others later on. And. . ." He paused to sigh again, "And helping Pooh find some honey. Looks like I'm all out again."
I knew he was fibbing because I saw more honey pots in the cabinet before Pooh came in, but I understood and didn't say anything about it. Instead I said, "Well, as long as I'm here, I'll ask you. Since I arrived to the Hundred Acre Wood to help everyone here, is there anything I can help you with?"
Rabbit smiled and walked up to me with his hands folded, "Oh, I'd be most grateful for your assisstance. Ever since the storm ended, I've been trying to clean up my garden, but it made more of a mess than I expected."
"No problem," I smiled. "I'll help clear it with you."
"Oh, thank you so much," said Rabbit.

Something interesting better happen, damnit.

"The ceiling is a floor, too, if you believe in yourself."-Lupin, Breaking Cat News

-Go see my coloring work at my Deviantart Account.
-Check out and critique my new World of Darkness fancreation, Angel: The Revelation.
(Now with a better link.)
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Post #17

#oh it's JUST tk
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post Aug 25 2008, 03:46 PM
Pooh: What is it about Piglet that makes him so damn sexy?

I am totally adding that to my sig.

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Post #18

That's right, Susan!
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post Aug 25 2008, 04:27 PM
You always find the best lines to siggify, TK. I'm jealous.

QUOTE (theabhorrentatrocity @ Aug 15 2015, 02:25 PM) *
daddy longleg spiders are scary as they're one of the most poisonous spiders so not much of an over reaction.

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Post #19
Yaoi Huntress Earth

Rocket Cuddles
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post Aug 26 2008, 09:18 PM

A few minutes later, I was finished with helping Rabbit out in the garden. Even Piglet offered to help out a bit.

Until he ate all those plants with the three points on them.

Rabbit was really happy since things were getting done faster with a few helping hands. Piglet handed my the last handful of twigs and I tossed in into the pile of branches outside the fence.

Then we threw him on top and made an offering to Satan.

I dusted my hands and said, "Well, that should do it."
"I really appreciate your help, Marina. You too, Piglet," said Rabbit as he stood by me looking at the garden. "Ah, good as new."
I crossed my arms, "It's a good thing the storm didn't destroy any of the vegetables. They all look quite delicious."

Maria: Especially that one you call peyote.

Rabbit said, "I can make you a nice bowl of vegetable soup in return for the help."
"Sound's great," I smiled. "I'll help you pick a few as well."
Piglet tapped on my ankle, "But, Marina. . . shouldn't we look for the others. I-I-I'm starting to get a little worried about Eeyore, Roo, Kanga, Owl, Gopher, and--"

Hell, as if the last three were all that germane to the series.

Piglet stopped when Rabbit zipped around yelling, "Oh no! Oh no!! Not here!! Not now!!"

Silly Satan, donít you know Rabbitís got another three years before you can go and collect his soul.

I heard the sound of a bouncing spring coming in from the forest, but right when I turned around. . .
"Hoo hoo hoo HOO!!"
I was pounced by a new stuffed animal that looked like a tiger.
We tummbled over twice until I was lying on my back and he was pinning me down like a cheerful dog.

Then he unzipped his pants andÖOpps! Wrong fic.

"Hello! I'm Tigger. T-I-double guh-ER! That thpellth Tigger!" he spoke with a slight lisp. He poked his big pink nose against mine, "Thay, I've never theen you around. Who are you?"
"Hello, Tigger," said Pooh as he was walking across the small bridge. "This is Marina. You just bounced her."
"I did?" Tigger stood up looking at his feet. Then he shook hands with me as he got off me, "Well then, pleathed to meet ya. Name'th Tigger. T-I-double guh-ER. That thpellth Tigger!"
I sat up, "Uh. . . nice to meet you, too."
Rabbit frowned, "Tigger, just what do you think you're doing boucing on a new friend like this? We were about to pick some carrots for soup and you always have come around at the wrong time."

Rabbit: I was going to get laid.

As I stood up, Tigger smiled, "Oh, let me help! Pickin' carrotth ith what Tiggerth do betht!"

Along with car-jacking and naked twister.

He hopped over to the garden to where all of the carrots that weren't ready to be picked and started to pop all of them out at a high speed.
"STOP!! STOP!!" Rabbit tackled him and pulled him away from the carrot patch.
Tigger asked, "What'th the matter? Am I makin' a bad exprethion?"
Rabbit let go of him and yelled, "You're pulling out my baby carrots!!!"
Tigger looked at the two he still had in his hands and smiled, "Oh! Tho thethe are carrotth?"
Rabbit looked like he was going to faint as he held his head and wobbled backwards. I held his shoulders and asked, "Rabbit? You okay?"
"My carrots," he said a little woosey. "My baby carrots. They weren't ready."
I said, "It's okay, Rabbit. I'll help you replant them."
"No," Rabbit put his other hand on his head. "It's too late. My beautiful carrots. My baby carrots." Then rage went through him as he stood straight and pointed,

Actually baby carrots are pretty tasty, so itís a blessing in disguise when you think about it.

"You! Tigger! You ruin everything! Every day you come bouncing in my garden leaving your footprints in the soil and this is the worst thing you've ever done! Get out! GET OUTTA HERE, YOU PEST!!"
Rabbit chased Tigger for a few feet and Tigger was scared enough that he ran out of the garden, across the front yard, and down the path behind Rabbit's house.
Rabbit panted and sighed, "That. . . good for nothing. . . . . bouncer!!"
I was quite speechless at how Rabbit acted. I knew that Tigger was just trying to help and didn't realize what he was doing wrong. I said, "Rabbit, Tigger just. . ." I paused when I just didn't want to start an arguement with a new friend.

In a way I canít blame Rabbit. He has one friend who mooches off of him and another who annoys the crap out of him and what does he get in return from them?

Pooh and Piglet were a little speechless like I was as Rabbit said, "Well, I guess I've got a bit more cleaning up to do."
I asked, "Would you like me to help you?"
"No," he raised a hand. "No thank you. I'll do it myself. You three should. . . go along and look for the others. Thank you for the offer anyway. . . and thanks again for helping me clean up."
"Are you sure?" I asked.
"This happens a lot, Marina," said Rabbit. "I'll. . . I'll be all right. You three just go along. I'll see you later in the day."
"If. . . if you insist," I said. "Piglet, Pooh, let's go."
As Pooh, Piglet, and I were crossing the little bridge, I looked back as Rabbit was picking up the carrots. Pooh said, "Poor Tigger. He was just trying to help."
"And poor Rabbit," said Piglet. "He always t-t-takes good care of his garden."
I nodded, "Yeah. I hope he'll be okay."
Pooh said, "We should check up on Tigger. He looked pretty upset as he ran off."
I nodded, "You're right. Does someone live down this path?"
"Oh yes," Pooh answered. "A little more across the bridge over the river live Kanga and Roo. Tigger might go there because he and Roo are best friends."
"Fellow bouncers, eh?" I asked.

They beat up drunks and toss them outside as well.

"That's right," Pooh smiled with a nod.

Pooh and Piglet lead the way through the forest on the new path until we came to yet another clearing where a stream ran through with a larger bridge went over. On the other side was a rising ground where a large oak tree grew which had a swing hanging on a high branch. This whole clearing was so peaceful with the sound of the stream and gentle breeze going through the tree on the hilltop.
"Wow," I whispered.
Pooh held my hand and said, "Come on, Marina. We'll teach you how to play Pooh Sticks."
I smiled at his adoring face, "What's that?"

Itís where you take a turd and...Wait thatís Poo Stinks, my mistake.

"I-I-It's a simple game Pooh invented," Piglet answered.

While on the can.

He picked us a few sticks from the trail the size of pencils and said, "All we have to do is throw a s-s-stick in the river on one side of the bridge and th-th-then we see who's stick comes out on the other side first."
"Oh," I nodded. "Okay. Let's try it." I took one stick from Piglet and Pooh took another.
We went up on the bridge together and stopped in the middle by the railing together. We looked over with our sticks ready when Pooh asked, "Would you do the counting, Marina?"
"Certainly," I nodded. "Ready? Get set. . . . . . . . . . . GO!!"
We dropped the sticks together and rushed to the other side of the bridge looking at the water. A few seconds later, we spotted the first stick and recognized it.
"That's yours, Piglet," said Pooh. "You win!"
"G-G-Goody," Piglet smiled. "It's been a while since I've won."
I giggled, "This is a simple game to pass time by. How about another round and get a move on?"
"Sure," said Pooh.
I turned to go down the bridge until something caught my eye in the stream floating our way. From what I could see from where we were, it looked like another stuffed animal.
"Pooh, Piglet," I said. "Who's that?"
The two of them looked with me as it was getting closer. When it was closer enough for me to see, I recognized it as a little grey donkey stuffed with sawdust lying on his back in the water.
"Why it's Eeyore!" Pooh smiled.
"Oh, d-d-d-dear!" said Piglet. "Eeyore! Are you all right?"
The grey donkey looked up as he was getting closer to the bridge and spoke with a low and gloomy voice, "Nobody pay attention to me. Nobody ever does."

Oh boy, an emo.

He was about to go under the bridge when I said, "You poor thing. You need help?"
"I'd appreciate it, but you don't have to do it if you don't want to," he responded slowly.

Eeyore: Iím trying to kill myself anyway.

I rushed off the bridge to the opposite side and wadded into the water. It was cold and up to my hips, but I didn't care about my skirt getting wet. I walked closer to the donkey and pulled him into my arms. He was slightly heavy especially from being wet inside and out, but I managed. I held him close with his head and paws (since he didn't have hooves) over my shoulders. I walked out of the stream and met up with Pooh and Piglet on the land. I knelt and placed the donkey down.
"Thank you, stranger," he said before he shook all the water off his back.
I asked, "Are you okay now?"
Piglet said, "Oh, Eeyore. You're all w-w-wet!"
He said, "That happens when you've been in the water for a long time."
Pooh said, "Eeyore, this is Marina. Marina, this is our dear friend Eeyore."

Pooh: He pays us to put up with his shit.

"How do you do," Eeyore said slowly but with a tiny little smile.
"Glad to know you, Eeyore," I nodded. "So. . . . how did you end up in the river anyway?"
"I was blown into the water when that storm hit," he answered. "When it was over with, I was hoping someone would come and help me, but nobody even noticed I was missing. So, I just waited for myself to float ashore, but I didn't."

You couldíve screamed for help you know.

"You poor thing," I place my hand on his back. "I'll bet it's great to be back on your feet again, isn't it?"
"I suppose," he said sadly. "Although, I feel a little down just the same."
"Why?" I asked.
"Oh, d-d-d-dear!" said Piglet. "Eeyore lost his tail again."
"I guess that's why," Eeyore looked behind him.
I looked behind him and saw an empty space where a tail should've been, "Oh, no."
He said, "Not that an Eeyore's tail is very important, but I suppose I should go look for it."
I said, "Wait. I'll help you find it."
"And we'll go along with you," said Pooh. "Won't we, Piglet?"

Interestingly he doesnít do the same thing for Rabbit though.

"Oh, a-a-absolutely," Piglet smiled.
"You don't have to do it," Eeyore said slowly. "But since you've already decided, I guess it's okay."
Pooh said, "We were on our way down to Kanga and Roo's home. Maybe they've seen it."
"Whoooo?" said a voice above us.
"Why Kanga and Roo of course," said Pooh.
I looked up and giggled when I spotted a large brown owl soaring over to us.
Pooh, Piglet, and Eeyore look up when the old owl said, "Good afternoon to you all."
"Oh, it's you, Owl," said Pooh. "Good afternoon."

Man, whereís the bloody conflict? Maybe if Iím lucky Owl will be so be so drunk off his ass that heíll mistake them for mice and slaughter them all.

The owl circled us once and gently landed in front of us, "Ah, it's so good to finally find the rest of you. I am very glad to know that everyone in the Hundred Acre Wood is safe."
Piglet asked, "Y-Y-You mean you've found the others?"
"Why yes," said Owl. "Kanga was at her home waiting for Roo to come home. Tigger was on his way to his bouncing grounds. Gopher was digging his way towards the west side of the forest. And Rabbit was in his garden straightening thing up."
I said, "It's good to know that everyone is okay, but just the same, it might be a wise idea to go out and check up on them."
"And who are you, my dear child?" Owl asked.

Marina: Your illegitimate daughter.

I smiled, "My name's Marina. Just passing through. . . kind of."
"Oh, how thrilling," said Owl. "It's always wonderful to have a new friend to stop by every once in a while. Perhaps the next time you come by you and I could have some tea."
I nodded, "I'd like that, Owl."
Owl cleared his throat and said, "Well, I best circle the forest once more. It's a smart thing to do to see if everything is coming back the way it was." He flapped his large wings and flew off the ground.
As Pooh and Piglet were waving good-bye to Owl, I smiled at the thought of the magic of my being here was working.

Mary-Sues make everything more conflict-free.

Everything in the Hundred Acre Wood was coming back the way it was before the storm hit. I knew that meant on the outside of the storybook, all of the pages were appearing back in place. I just had to keep up the good work until I felt that the end was coming.

Marina: Hopefully I can get out before the big orgy scene appears.

Minutes later, the four of us walked down the path with Pooh leading. Since Eeyore was a slow walker, I walked slowly next to him and didn't mind it even when he told me I didn't have to. Poor Eeyore was so gloomy all the time, but as I was giving him some attention during our walk, he managed to make a small smile the rest of the way.

He realized the Sue was going to leave in the next chapter or two and it made him feel all the better.

When we reached the end of the path, the new tree home in front of us was a really pretty one. It had a nice white fence around it, the doorway had an awning, the windows had sills with pretty flowers growing in pots, the second floor had a cute little balcony, and the mailbox with the name 'Kanga' written on it had a smaller one on top of it with the name 'Roo' written on it.
"How adorable," I grinned. "It looks so cozy."
That was when the front door opened and a three foot tall kangaroo plushie hopped out.
"Hello Kanga!" said Pooh.
"Why Pooh, Piglet, Eeyore," the kangaroo smiled. "How good to see you all safe after the storm." As we approached her, she asked, "And who's you're new friend?"
"This is Marina," said Piglet.
I held my hand down to her, "How do you do, Miss Kanga."
"How do you do, Marina," said Kanga as she and I shook hands. "What brings you to the Hundred Acre Woods?"

The chance to inflict wanton destruction that would make the Punisher drool.

Piglet answered for me, "She's been helping us find everyone and now w-w-we've found you and Roo."
"Where is Roo?" Pooh asked.
Kanga answered," Tigger was here a minute ago to take him out to their bouncing grounds. They'll be back later for Roo's nap. While you're all here, why not have a few cookies? I've just baked them."
Pooh asked, "Will a smakeral of honey be included?"
Kanga laughed, "Of course, Pooh."
I said, "I'd love a few cookies, Miss Kanga."
"So would I," said Piglet.
"Might as well if it won't be any bother," said Eeyore.

Eeyore is pretty passive-aggressive when you think about it.

"No trouble at all, dear," said Kanga. "Please come in."
"Thank you," I nodded.
Just then, something made Piglet fall over. We looked and saw a mound of dirt moving from below like something digging at a fast rate. When it came in front of Kanga, it stopped and a little grey gopher popped out of the ground.
"Gopher," said Kanga.
The gopher looked around at us and spoke with a whistle through his buck teeth on every 's' and 'c', "Say, this isn't the right place. I guess I took a wrong turn again."
Pooh said, "Hello, Gopher. This is our new friend, Marina."
"That's nice, but I haven't time to gossip," said Gopher. "I'm keeping away from the southern side of the forest.

Unless you like to get on all fours and squealing like a pig.

It sounds like there's a wild hephalump or a woozle or maybe a jagular hanging around there."
"Did you say the southern side?" Kanga gasped. "Oh, dear! That's where Roo and Tigger's bouncing grounds are!"
"Oh, d-d-d-dear!" Piglet hid behind Pooh.
Kanga said, "We've must looked for them."

Kanga: And have another danger-free set of paragraphs.

I asked Gopher, "Don't you mean an elephant, weasel, and jaguar?"
Gopher nodded, "That's what I said. Hephalump, woozle, or jagular."
I sighed and shook my head with a smile. Then I said, "If these are dangerous creatures, then we better look for Tigger and Roo."
Pooh asked, "Aren't you afraid?"
I said, "Maybe a little, but if there's any danger out there, I'll scare it away.

Because I have a bunch of made-up flaws that never really get mentioned.

Don't worry Miss Kanga. We'll find Roo."
"Oh, bless you, Marina," said Kanga. "Bless you."
I said, "I'm sure he's safe and sound, but we'll look and make sure. Now, Gopher, which way did these sounds come from."
He pointed, "Just down that way. I'd go with ya, but my heart aint in it."

Gopher: Iím a pussy.

"I understand," I nodded. "Being a gopher, I'm sure you're pretty busy to begin with."
"You said it," Gopher nodded.
I grinned, "In that case, I hope I'll see you again someday."
"Same to you, Marina, who-ever-you-are," he whistled before he jumped down into his hole and disappeared.
As the mound of dirt moved away from us at a high speed, I said, "Well, fellas, let's get a move on."

Pooh, Piglet, Eeyore, Kanga, and I stayed closer together as we were heading for the bouncing grounds. It wasn't very far, but when we were getting closer, we heard this strange sound.

Sound: Ohhh. Mailman! Do it harder!

Piglet held on to my ankle, "Th-th-th-th-the jagular!!!"
I looked around and saw nothing.
Pooh held on to my skirt, "It's close."
"Oh my," said Kanga. "How close can it be?"
Eeyore said, "A mile. . . few feet. . . right behind us. . . . who knows."
I asked, "Just what does a jagua-- I mean. . . jagular do?"
Pooh answered, "It hangs around trees calling out 'Halluuuuuuu!'. . . and when you look up, they drop down on you."

Thatís nothing, my grandpa does that to me all the time.

"I-I-I'm looking d-d-down, Pooh Bear," said Piglet.
I followed the sound on that call and spotted something up in a bare tree in the middle of a small opening. I noticed that this thing was orange with black stripes clinging to the top of the tree shivering scared. Then when I noticed that there was a little joey wearing a blue sweater sitting on the branch below, I said, "That's not a jagular. It's Tigger! And Roo's with him."
"Oh, my goodness!" said Kanga as she hopped ahead of us.
The little joey named Roo smiled, "Look Tigger here comes Mama and the others. Hi, Mama! Hi, Pooh and Piglet! Hi, Eeyore!"
Tigger cried, "Thomebody! Anybody! Do thomething!"

Tiggers: Thtripperth! Math murder! Man-thmut! Anything to make this thtory interethting.

When we came up to the tree, Kanga said, "Roo, how did you two get up there?"
"Easy, Mama," Roo replied. "We bounced up."
Oh, gracious," said Kanga. "Please be careful, dear."
"I'm okay, Mama, but Tigger's stuck," said Roo.
"Poor guy," I said.
"No, no!" said a voice behind us. We turned and it was Rabbit. He said, "If Tigger stays stuck up there, he can't do anymore damage to anyone."

Other than having Tiggerís death on his conscience.

"Oh, Rabbit," I frowned as I was taking off my jacket. "We can't let him stay up there. C'mon, guys. Grab a corner of my jacket."
Pooh grabbed one corner, Kanga grabbed another, and Eeyore held another with his mouth. I held on tight to the last corner and called up, "Okay, Little Roo. You're first."
Roo leapped off branch hold his knees like a cannonball yelling, "Weeeeeee!!!"

Then Marina yanked the jacket out of the way at the last moment. (Hey, a girl can dream can't she?)

He landed perfectly in the middle of my jacket and bounced off it like a trampoline into my arms. When I held the little joey stuffed with fluff in my arms, I smiled, "Hi there, Roo. I'm Marina."
"Hi, Marina," Roo said with an adoring smile.

Roo: What are those funny lumps on your chest? They sure are squishy.

I handed him to Kanga and she gave him a hug, "Oh, thank goodness."
Roo said, "Gee, that was fun. Can I do it again?"
"I don't think so," Kanga smiled. "Once is good enough."
As Kanga placed Roo in her pouch, he looked up and called, "C'mon, Tigger. It doesn't hurt. It's fun."
We held the corners of my jacket again and I said, "You're turn, Tigger. Jump."
Tigger gasped, "Jump?! Oh no! Tiggerth don't jump, they bounthe."
"Then bounce down," said Pooh.
"Oh, don't be redic-or-outh," said Tigger. "Tiggerth only bounthe up."
I asked, "Can't you climb down?"
Tigger shook his head nerously, "No! Tiggerth can't climb down! Their tailth get in the way."

Man, Tiggers sure can't do a lot of shit.

"Hurray!" Rabbit jumped with joy. "If he won't bounce down and he can't climb down then he'll have to stay up there forever."
"Forever?!" Tigger clinged to the tree again. "No please! Anything but that!"
"Now, Rabbit," I said as I took my jacket. "Don't be so mean. What if it was you stuck up there and someone said it's best for you to stay up there forever? You think it's best for you?"
Rabbit thought to himself as I was putting my jacket back on. Then he sighed, "I suppose you're right."

The Sue is always right. Obey the Sue.

I took off my shoes and said, "It's okay, Tigger. I'm coming up to get you."
Kanga asked, "Will you be alright, dear?"
I grabbed a hold of the lowest branch and said, "Of course, Miss Kanga. I've been climbing trees taller than this one. I'll be okay."
I began climbing up the tree like a monkey with no problem. In fact, this was a lot easier than the trees back in Fantasy Land. Since the forest outside the kingdom was my favorite place, tree climbing was one of my favorite things to do, and I've been doing it most of my life.

And I thought Marina was a virgin.

I reached the last branch across from Tigger. I stood on it and stared at him as he was still clinging to top of the tree with his eyes closed tightly. I smiled and tapped him on the shoulder and startled him.
I said, "It's okay, Tigger. You can open your eyes now."
"No!" he shook his head. "I can't."
"But, Tigger," I smiled. "You're safe now."
When I said that, Tigger opened one beady eye and looked at me. He asked, "Thay, how did thith tree get tho short?"
I turned around with my balance up and said, "Just grab on to my back and you'll be down in no time."
Tigger looked down for a second and then back at me. I turned around and kept my eye on him as he loosened his grip on the tree. He slowly reached out to me, but when he touched my shoulder, he jumped on my back and clinged to me the same way he was to the tree making me lose my balance a little. I wabbled a little trying to get my balance back up.
Tigger held on tighter, "Hey! Cut it out, Ma-ca-rina! You're shaking up the whole forest!"

Wow. And all this time I thought earthquakes did that. Thanks for clearing that up with me DS01.

I held my breath and finally got my balance back, I stood up straight on the branch and remained still for a few seconds to calm my heart down a bit. Then I sighed with relief and asked, "You okay, Tigger?"
"I will be a thoon ath I'm on tholid ground," he answered.
Kanga called up, "Marina, are you alright?"
"I'm fine," I replied. "I'm coming down now." I looked at Tigger over my shoulder and said, "Okay, Tigg, hold on tight."
He did so as I turned and began to climb down the tree slowly so I wouldn't worry him. Usually, I'm able to leap from branch to branch to get down, but I didn't want to scare Tigger more than he was already.
On the way down, I asked, "I can't understand it, Tigger. You must be the best bouncer in the Hundred Acre Woods and I'm sure you're able to bounce higher than this tree. Why are you so scared?"
"Oh, I can bounthe higher than thith tree," he answered. "But when you're up in a tree and can't get down ith different. Falling and bounthing are two different thingth."
"I see," I nodded as I stood on another branch. "But how do you expect to be the greatest bouncer ever if you're afraid? I'm sure the greatest bouncer wouldn't be afraid of anything, especially heights within trees."

That's a nice way to talk to a acrophobic.

"You think tho?" he asked.
"Absolutely," I nodded.
"Thay," he frowned, "You're right, Ma-ca-rina! I am the betht bounther in the Hundred Acre Wood cuth bounthin ith what Tiggerth do betht!"
We were half way down when I stopped and asked, "Then what do you say you get off my back and we'll see if you are the best bouncer in the Hundred Acre Wood by bouncing your way down? I'll even race ya."

Marina: And let you win.

"Race?!" Tigger smiled, "You're on!" He got off my back and said quickly, "One, two, three, GO!! Hoo hoo hoo HOO!!" And he started to bounce from one branch down to the next. I smiled as I followed and letting him win so he could feel good about himself.
As soon as Tigger reached the ground, he fell purposely on his belly and began to kiss the grass, "Oh, thweet tholid ground! I love it!"

Tigger: And if you guyth can excuthe uth, we'd like thome private time.

I jumped to the ground from the last branch as Tigger pounced on me the same way he did before. We tumbled once and he stood on my stomach saying, "Thankth, Ma-ca-rina! You've really help me fathe my fearth. Now I'm thure I can bounthe around any tree in the Hundred Acre Wood."
I rubbed the back of my head and said, "It's no problem, Tigg. No problem at all."
He got off me when Rabbit said, "I just hope you'll learn that daring yourself to do something that looks risky to begin with is never a good idea."
I sat up and said, "He's right, Tigger. It's true when people say 'You don't know what you can do until you try it', but if something looks too dangerous for you in the first place, it might be a good idea to let it go."

And if strangers give you candy, say yes.

"However," said Pooh, "Even if you get yourself into danger, it's always best to call out for help. Shortly, help will arrive and you will be lucky to have a friend near by."

So they can laugh at you (At least that's what my friends do.)

Piglet said, "You know, Pooh. For a bear of a vey small brain, you sure are smart."
"Why thank you, Piglet," Pooh smiled. Then his smile faded and he asked, "Smart about what?"
I giggled with Kanga, Roo, and Rabbit.
"Oh, I almost forgot," said Roo. He reached under his sweater and pulled out a grey donkey tail that had a tack on the top and a pink bow at the bottom.
"Well, what do ya know. . ." said Eeyore.
"Your tail," I smiled as I took it. "Where'd you find this?"
"Up there in the tree," Roo answered. "I guess the storm blew it up there."
I took the end with the tack and asked, "Shall I place it back for you Eeyore?"
He turned around, "If you want to I suppose."

Eeyore: Otherwise I'll have nothing to complain about.

I came to my knees and said, "I hope this won't hurt you."
"Never does," he said.
I placed the tack in the right place and as it stayed, I asked, "There, is that better?"
"Not much of a tail. . ." he said as he wagged his tail around slowly, "But I guess I'm sort of attached to it."
I grinned as that concluded my helping hands to the characters of the Hundred Acre Wood.

Sorry if this bashing kind of sucks.

"The ceiling is a floor, too, if you believe in yourself."-Lupin, Breaking Cat News

-Go see my coloring work at my Deviantart Account.
-Check out and critique my new World of Darkness fancreation, Angel: The Revelation.
(Now with a better link.)
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Post #20
Yaoi Huntress Earth

Rocket Cuddles
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post Sep 27 2008, 03:02 PM

After watching the sun setting together up on the hill top with the swing, I rolled my neck

And it fell right off.

and stood up saying, "Well, I guess this is the last chapter. The time when we say good-bye."
"Good-bye?" Piglet asked disappointed.

Piglet: But we want to have more boring adventures with you.

Pooh asked, "Oh, can't we just go back to the beginning and start another day?"
I said, "I'd love to, but I've completed my tasks here. Now I have to go to many other places and do the same thing. Besides, my two other friends are waiting outside the book. I shouldn't keep them waiting."

Any minute longer and they wouldíve gone looking for some other Sue.

Rabbit said, "Well, in that case, I thank you again for your help in my garden."
Kanga said, "Yes, and I thank you for helping me look for Roo."
"And for helping me out of the river, I suppose," said Eeyore.

Eeyore: Though I was hoping to die and be on everyoneís concise.

I stroked his back and said, "You're welcome. All of you. I had a great time in the Hundred Acre Woods."
Roo hopped over to me and asked, "Will we see you again?"

Marina: Hell no you little freak.

"Of course you will," I nodded as I picked him up. "If I had a great time here, then having more fun is something I wouldn't miss out on anything."
"Yay!" Roo smiled.
As I handed him back to Kanga, she said, "We better go home now, dear. It's passed you bedtime."
Roo yawned, "Oh, but I'm not tired."
I smiled, "You better get going. It is geting late."
Rabbit said with a yawn, "I think. . . we should all be going."
I looked up at the sky as the stars were starting to appear and said, "I better go now."
Tigger bounced around me once and said, "Hey, Ma-ca-rina! Before you go, how'th about a little S.O.T.T? Smooch on the Tigger?"

Man, that sounded dirty.

I chuckled a little and gave him a little peck on his nose.
"Hoo hoo hoo HOO!!" he spun around. "That'th what Tigger'th love betht!"

Until their privates start to itch.

As he dance his way to Kanga's side, Pooh came up to me and said, "Will you really come back?"
I answered, "I'm not sure when, but I will definetly come back when I can."
He smiled, "Just as long as you say you will return someday." He held his little paw up to me and said, "Good luck on your journey."
I shook hands with him for a second and then couldn't help myself as I pulled him closer and gave him a hug. He hugged me back with that adoring giggle of his and then Piglet came up and hugged me with him. Eeyore walked up to me and nuzzled against my side as Tigger bounced back to me and joined the hug as well.
As we parted I said, "I'll miss you guys a lot. I'll see you soon."
"Good-bye, Marina," said Piglet.
"T.T.F.N." said Tigger. "Ta ta for now!"
"See you later," Eeyore said slowly but with that small smile.
Rabbit said, "Perhaps next time, I'll make you my famous vegetable soup."

Made with 100% pure cyanide.

"I look forward to it," I nodded.
"Good-bye, Marina," said Kanga. "And be careful."
"Hurry back," said Roo.
"I will," I said as I stood up. "I'm off now." I turned and walked towards the edge of the hill and was beginning to fade away. I looked over my shoulder at my new friends with a smile and winked. Pooh and his friends waved good-bye with smiles and that was the last thing I saw before a bright light came around me with the Hundred Acre Wood disappearing within it.

The author killed them all, yay!

I opened my eyes and found myself back in Merlin's house finding the book in front of me as it was now full of pages and was closing by itself on a wooden stand. The buckle on the edge closed, clamped itself, and the lock clicked right as the title on the cover was appearing. When it was completed, I made a big smile and read it outloud to myself, "Winnie the Pooh." I placed my hand on the cover and whispered, "See you guys later."
"Marina, you're back," Donald walked up to me.

Marina: I had the most amazing dream where I was in a fiery place where men in red pajamas kept poking me with pitchforks.

I turned and saw him and Goofy.
Goofy asked, "Wull? How'd it go?"
I answered, "It was great. I helped everyone in the book and made friends with everyone there."
"That's good," said Merlin as he came from behind a book case. "I suppose you had a good time according to the look in your eyes."

Not to mention what she just said.

"Absolutely," I nodded. "I promised Pooh Bear and the others that I would return someday. Not knowing when, but they know I'll keep my promise."
"And so you shall," said Merlin. He walked up to me and handed me a key, "This key is the only thing that opens the book. Keep it safe at all times and I'll give the book to you."
I took the key and said, "Oh, I promise I will, sir."

Marina: Unless my dealer comes in and Iím a little short.

Goofy put a hand on my shoulder and said, "Marina has always been good at keeping promises. She's never broken one once before."
"I trust Marina," said Merlin. "I knew that she is one who wouldn't disappoint anyone."

Yay. More Sue-worship.

"Well, I hate to be the bringer o' bad news, Merlin,"

Silver: But Passions is off the air.

Silver came from behind the bookcase with an old book in his hand. "This book seems to be what we've been lookin' for the last hour."
I asked, "You mean, you've found it?"

Actually, itís more like it grabbed Silver by the throat, pointed a gun to his head and demanded that it be taken to Merlin.

He held it up, "Aye, but it won't do us very good. See for yourself. T'ere's hardly anyt'ing left of it."

What can you expect? Goodnight Moon doesnít have that many pages.

He handed me the book. I opened it carefully and looked at the first page with Donald and Goofy. It and all of the other pages were so worn that the text was so hard to make out.
"Gawrsh," said Goofy. "I can't see a thing in these pages."

Goofy: Then again, I never really learnt to read.

Donald said, "I can shee some wordsh, but. . . I can't make out the language."

Itís in English.

I said, "It looks like a mixture of ancient Latin text. . . a bit of ancient Greek. . . Egyptian hyroglyphics. . . and something else. Some kind of weird symbols."
Silver said, "They be ancient symbols of pirates."
All four of us looked at him.
He said, "I could tell ye what the symbols mean once I study t'em carefully, but as for the others. . . I never took the liberty of studyin' as a youth."

And heís been in the third grade ever since.

"Neither have I," I said. "I just know what the language looks like, but I never studied Greek, Latin, or Egyptian before."
Merlin said, "I would translate the book for you, but I really shouldn't take up your time. You have an important mission to tend to and it's best for you to leave at the first light of dawn."

Merlin: Because thatís when my bookies will come to break my legs.

Donald asked, "But how are we gonna figure out thethe wordsh?"

Just make some shit up as you go along. It works for most webcomic authors.

Merlin smiled, "I have just the person who can help you." He turned and looked at the table saying, "That would be you, my little friend."

So thatís what he calls his penis.

All of us looked at the table and saw nothing but the tea set, but we heard a voice call out, "That would definetly be me. I'd be honored to help out on the group."
"Huh?" Goofy scratched his head.
Silver, with his vision better than ours in his cyborg eye, spotted something and said, "Well, I'll be an ol' space dog."
That was when Donald, Goofy, and I saw a tiny figure jumping up and down to get our attention.

By slaughtering a bus full of preschoolers.

"Over here!" called the voice. "See me now?"
"Oh!" I gasped.
It was a little green cricket less than two inches tall wearing a shining suit with a top hat, spats on his polish shoes, an umbrella in his hand, and a smile on his face. He tipped his hat and bowed, "Cricket's the name. Jiminy Cricket."
"A cricket?" Donald asked.
Jiminy Cricket said, "I may be a cricket, but I'm also an official conscience in the making and intellectual in many ancient languages."

Somebodyís gotta keep them from making too many swear words.

He hopped off the table and towards us saying, "I'll even keep record in a log that way we could add things up and find out what it is the Nightmares want."

*singing* He-e-y they just want some pus-sy.

I held my hand out and he hopped all the way up to my palm when he said, "They say 'Just let your conscience be you guide',

Except when committing arson.

but I shall be in your service."
Silver chuckled, "Now I've seen just about ever't'ing."
Jiminy hopped on my shoulder and looked at the pages. He took out a pair of glasses, set them on his nose, and read the first senctence carefully.

Jimminy: He put his hand on her breastÖ

Then he said, "Hmm. . . this might take some serious research."
I closed the book and said, "Well, I know that things are a bit easier to do once you take your time on it."

Didnít Merlin already mention that?

"That's right," Jiminy smiled at me as he put his glasses back in his pocket.

The Mary-Sue is always right. Obey the Sue.

"So, it looks like everything is set now," said Merlin. "I shall contact you if I have found anything new about the Nightmares.

Merlin: Except between five and six-thirty, because thatís my private time.

After all, that book there is pretty old."
"We understand," I nodded. "We'll use what we can out of this book until then."
"And don't forget this one," Merlin handed Goofy the book of Winnie the Pooh. "Keep this safe and take good care of those living within it."

Marina: Weíll throw it in the first fire we see.

"I will," I nodded again. "I've got the key right here and I'll keep it in my pocket all the time."
"Grand idea," said Merlin. "And now I bid you all a happy journey and good luck."
"Thank you, Merlin," said Donald.
"See you again soon. . . I hope," said Goofy.
"Now, let's get a move on, mateys," said Silver.

The Jewish workers have to be back by sundown.

The sun was coming up when we returned to the kingdom's harbor. When we got there, Donald, Goofy, Jiminy, and I were in a state of shock to see the ship Silver was leading us to. He stopped the longboat over the harbor and asked, "Well, what do you think?"
"Woooooow!" said Donald.
"Gawrsh," said Goofy with a smile.
"It's amazing, Captain," said Jiminy.
I shook my head with an awed smile and said, "I'm shocked, Captain Silver. She's beautiful."
"Gentlemen and lady. . ." said Silver. "I give ye

The Titanic? Challenger? Apollo 13?

the Argentum."
This was the largest ship we had ever seen. It was a galleon with six large solar sails on three masts, three topsails and a mizzen sail, a main sail, and a fore sail, and she had three jib sails on the bowsprit. She had fore decks from stem to stern and the main deck was nearly big enough to to pass as a ballroom. The entire hull was made of wood from the planet Velutina which meant it was very sturdy and strong against laserballs, lancers, and plasma missles. I spotted eight engines below the stern which meant that this ship must've been really fast and maneuverable.

You can see all of that, yet little else gets as much detail.

"She's beautiful, Captain," I said. "I'm absolutely amazed."

Marina: That something can be more amazing then me.

Silver landed the longboat and said, "All out who's goin' aboard."
With Jiminy on my shoulder, Donald, Goofy, and I hopped out of the longboat. As Silver stayed in the longboat, I asked, "You sailed this here all by yourself?"
He lightly elbowed me, "Aye, but this be just the tip of the iceberg, Lass. This 'ere be me commandship to my entire fleet."
Goofy asked, "You own a whole fleet of ships?"
Donald asked, "Then why did you thail thith ship here alone?"
"Business reasons, Duck," he answered.

Like bootleg copies of Soul Plane.

I knew what the real answer probably was. He must've came here alone to hide his handful of jewels and gold in the forest.
Silver added, "Besides, us pirates have our own businesses to tend to. All of me co-captains be on the other side of the galaxy dealing with them Procyon trouble makers."
"Procyons?" Jiminy asked. "You're a privateer?"
He answered, "In a way, yes. In another, I prefer the name. . . adventurer. Go on, step aboard while I take this little heap into the longboat hangar."
As the longboat went back up, Donald, Goofy, and I looked at each other for a few seconds and then back at the great galleon. Together we took a deep breath and stepped forward. We walked over to the gangplank leading up to the main deck and paused.
I said, "This will be my first time on a ship in my whole life."

You mean your BFF the king and queen never let you on theirs? And you call yourself a Sue?

"Wull, I can't remember the last time I was on one," said Goofy.
"Ah, phooey," said Donald. "I've practically grew up in the U.S. Navy."

*Dons some MC Hammer pants* Stop, nitpick time. How is the US part of Marinaís home planet? Sure Donald did some time in the Navy in Duck Tales, but it doesnít fit here.

Jiminy said, "There's nothing to be nervous about. Just take a good step up one at a time."

Jiminy: And try to avoid the landmines I set up ahead of time.

So, I held my breath and took the first step up. Donald and Goofy followed behind me and on the way up, I could've sworn I felt a powerful force creeping up on me.

Itís called guilt.

It was almost like that feeling you get when you walk right into a living room at Christmas time and when you see all of the presents and beauty of the snow falling outside the window and the second you smile, a strong force touches you going from your head to your toes.

Thatís called grandpa.

This one was different because instead of starting from the head down, it ran all over my body at once.

Thatís called an orgasm.

A smile grew on my face as I was nearing the end of the gangplank.
Then when I hopped onto the maindeck, the power surge felt like it just kicked me in the stomach. I had never felt such a feeling all around before. I was at last standing on a real pirate ship. I stared up at the top of the main mast and spun around once whispering, "Wow! This is amazing."
"Gawrsh," said Goofy as he and Donald came aboard. "It looks even bigger this close."

Thatís because youíre closer to it, Einstein.

"You said it," said Jiminy. "If you could see it from my size, you wouldn't believe it."
"I do," said Donald.
I said, "This is so cool. I never felt this excited before."
"Me neither," said Goofy. "This'll be fun!"
"Yeah!" I said with joy.

What is Earl Hickeyís ex-wife doing in this fic?

"But hard work," said Jiminy.
"Hard work?" I lost my smile.
"Yup," said Donald. "There will be lotsh of hard work on a ship. I would know."
"Great," I moaned and crossed my arms.

Marina: You mean Iím not going to be waited on hand and foot?

Goofy pointed his finger me, "Now, Marina, don't be so stubborn. You outta know that there's a lotta work to do on a ship. You've read all those books as a kid."
"Yeah, but I didn't think I'd be doing all that stuff myself," I rolled my eyes.

Think of it this way Marina now you use it as an excuse to angst about it.

Jiminy said, "Marina, we're not here for a pleasure cruise. We're on strict business."
"I know that," I sighed. "It just that I know that it'll be really tough with such a small crew. I'm not used to hard labor very much."
Jiminy said, "She's right. With the three of you and the captain being the only ones on this ship, it's going to take a lot of work to get this whole thing going through the Etherium. After all, the average galleon can be sailed with at least six or seven people."

Shouldnít Silver have hired more people then? Wait, then that wouldnít give Marina something to complain about.

"And there'sh only five of uth," said Donald.
Goofy started counting his fingers whispering, "Uh, me. . . Donald. . . Marina. . ."
Donald said, "With the three of ush, we can loosen the thailsh, one on each masht. I thuppose Captain Shilver will have hish handth on the helm at the time."

YeahÖwhat he said.

Jiminy said, "Let's see. . . the jib sails are usually loosened shortly after take off. Then. . . there's the engine room. With you three taking care of the sails. . . I think the only problem is someone controlling the engine room."
"Not anymore," said a tiny voice we knew.
We turned and looked down seeing Chip and Dale running their way over to us. Goofy bent down and had them hop onto his hands.

I guess they can jump up and down to get at the controls.

The two chipmunks saluted. Chip said, "As royal engineers to the palace rocket hangar. . ."

You mean the gummi ship in KingdoÖI mean in this imaginative story.

Dale added, "We would be honored to be a part of this crew as. . . well. . . engineers."
I asked, "How did you guys get. . . oh." I had my answer when we looked up at the gangplank and saw Queen Minnie and Daisy.
"Your Majesty," Jiminy bowed from my shoulder.
Minnie smiled, "Good morning, Sir Jiminy Cricket."
"Daishy," said Donald as he walked up to his long time sweetheart.
She held his hands and said, "Just promise me you'll be careful, Donald. That's all I want to hear."
Donald smiled, "I promithe, Daishy."
She smiled back, leaned foreward, and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
Minnie said, "We just wanted to say farewell."
Goofy said, "Oh, we'll come back safe and sound. Just you wait."
"And Mickey will be with us as well," I said. "You'll see."
"I believe you," she nodded.

Minnie: *turns to Daisy* Quick, go see if that handsome Bugs Bunny guy is still single.

I really didn't want this to be the last time to see Minnie and Daisy, but something in the back of my head was telling me that it was going to be a long mission.

Then she remembered it was that microchip she got implanted in her skull.

So I got down on one knee and gave Daisy a hug.
"I'll miss you girls," I said calmly.
She hugged me with a pat on the back, "We'll miss you, too."
She took a step back as Minnie walked up to me and smiled silently for a while. As I smiled back I spotted a small tear filling up her eye. For that, I reached out to her and gave her hug. She held me tightly and I felt her slightly whimper. I was feeling quite down because I never left Fantasy Land before and I never left Minnie's side more than a day since she and Mickey were the closest I had as parents growing up.

Even when she went to the bathroom? Man you got some issues Marina.

I whispered into her round ear, "I promise I'll be careful, Minnie. We'll all be careful."
She whispered back into my ear, "Look after each other and take care."
"We will," I nodded.
We parted and she gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Good luck," she said. "And be brave Marina. If you ever run into trouble. . . try not to give up. This will be the first time for you to be in a true fight. I know you'll get better and better. Good bye."
I smiled and stood up with our hands slowly parting. Minnie stepped back with Daisy until Silver came up from below deck.
"Ah, Your Highness," he took off his hat. "Saying a short farewell?"
Daisy said, "We also came to offer you two other helping hands who are expert engineers."
Goofy turned to show Silver the two chipmunks. They saluted to him.
"I'm Chip!"
"Dale's the name!"
"At your service, Captain," they said together.
Silver raised a brow, "How long have you two been in the engineering business."

Ever since they got their online degree three days ago.

Chip answered, "We've been the royal engineers for many years, sir."
Dale said, "You ask one question about any kind of engine, we can answer it."
Silver grinned, "Good. That be one way of layin' it down. Now head on below to the engine room and give me a call from the intercom as soon as everything is ready."
"Aye, aye, Captain Silver!" the chipmunks saluted together before they jumped off Goofy's hands and hopped along toward the staircase leading below deck.
Minnie then said, "Captain Silver. . ."
"Your Highness?"
"Remember," she said, "I leave these three to your responsibilty. Make sure nothing happens to them."

Minnie: And donít leave them in tied to a light post while you get a coke like last time.

Silver bowed, "You have m' word, Your Highness."
"Good bye, my friends," said Minnie as she and the others stepped back until they reached the gangplank. They turned around walked down until they were no longer in our sight.
The three of us wanted to go to the railing of the ship to watch them off, but Silver said, "Well, first things come first, mateys. Each one of you take a mast, climb them shrouds, and simply untie them sails on me orders."
"Aye, aye, Captain," the three of us nodded.
Silver was making his way over to the bridge when Donald said, "Okay, guyth. I jusht can tell from hish voice that he'sh gonna be tough on ush. We better not upthet him."
"Right," Goofy nodded.
I was taking off my shoes when I asked, "Good. I'll take the fore mast. Goofy, you take the main mast. And Donald, you're on the mizzen mast."

Now that I think about it, Marina sure knows a lot about how these ships work for never being on one.

"Got it," they nodded again.
I said, "Jiminy, you better go with Goofy."
"Why?" Goofy asked.

Marina: Heís my designated love interest and I want to see if heís packing.

I shrugged, "Just in case."

As soon as the three of us were on the first yard arm of our masts, we had a hold of a rope and waited for Silver's order. He stood at the bridge with a good grip on the helm listening to the engines coming to life below deck. Seconds later, the intercom was on and Chip's voice came up, "Okay, Captain! Engines on and ready!"
Silver hollered, "UNHURL ALL SAILS!!!"

Silver: And unbutton my pants.

As quick as the three of us could, we pulled the ropes and the first side of the yard was loose. Then, as though we were syncronized, we rushed over to the other side with our balance up completely. We pulled the ropes on the opposite and the entire sail on the mast opened like a waterfall of cloth. Without even pausing, we turned and began to climb the shrouds to the topsails.

Marina is doing a pretty good job for a noob.

I was the first to get to the yard arm to the fore mast and I untied the first rope, but as I rushed over to the other side, I slipped and began to fall, but I grabbed a hold of the mooring rope in the nick of time. I dangled for a second and then stretch my leg back up to the yard. I pulled my self back up and stayed on my belly with my arms and legs wrapped around the yard. When I looked down I realized that this was the highest in climbing I had ever gotten to in my life and I was actually scared especially with the Argentum rising away from the harbor, I gulped and hugged the yard arm tighter than my eyes were closed.

Which were bleeding from the sockets from the pressure of her eyelids.

It was all as if my fun of climbing trees was leaving me all of a sudden and I was beginning to become scared of high places. A quick shiver went down my spine until I heard Goofy's voice from the main topsail.
"Hey, Marina! Are you okay?" he called.
I opened my eyes and looked over at him. I noticed that he had his shield still on his back and lost my fear for a second. I knew that if I ever fell in his sight, he would use his sheild to create a barrier below like a trampoline.

Or the impact from the hardness of the barrier will crush her spine on impact. Which ever comes first.

I answered, "I'm okay. Just slipped a little."
I loosened my grip around the yard arm and stood back up slowly without looking back down. I walked over to the mast and grabbed a hold of it. Then I looked over to the other rope I had to undo and said to myself, "Okay, just another ten feet and let's get down from here. You can do this, Marina."

Goofy: Or Iíll start doing a sappy music number.

I held my breath and rushed over to the rope. I grabbed the rope and pulled it without even stopping. I went even faster to shrouds. I nearly leaped off the entire ship as I jumped onto the shrouds. I held on tightly to the ropes and closed my eyes once again. I felt like a cat stuck in a tree not wanting to come down.
Then Goofy called from his shroud, "Marina! Are you sure you're okay?"
In that second I said to myself, "Stop this, Marina. You said so yourself that the last thing you want is to upset a pirate. You want Captain Silver to think you're a coward? Get your butt down from these shrouds and start acting in a way he would want you to. Donald was right. We can't upset him. No one should upset a pirate."
I cleared my throat and replied, "I'm fine, Goof. Really."
Jiminy said from his shoulder, "Well, don't scare us like that."
I climbed down the shrouds in a normal pace and gradually began to gain my courage back. I spoke to myself once again, "Okay, Marina. Silver is over there at the bridge and he'll be watching you every step of this mission. Don't do anything to stupid."

Like talking to yourself.

I was standing on the bow of the ship, paused to look at Silver on the bridge, and sighed. "Just get things done right without an arguement."
"You're following your own conscience. Good for you."

Really? Mine wouldíve told me to set the ship on fire.

I looked down and saw Jiminy standing next to my ankle. I smiled and jumped onto the deck before I said, "I have a bit of a habit of talking to myself like that."
Jiminy said, "It's one way of getting things done when you're afraid to finish it off."
I made a half smile and nodded once. He hopped on my shoulder and I was about to walk over to the bridge until something caught my eye. I stopped and looked at our kingdom in a point of view I had never seen before.
"Whoa!" I whispered. "Look at that! I never knew how big our kingdom was. It's so beautiful."
"Yeah," said Jiminy.
As we were beginning to rise higher and higher away from Fantasy Land, a tear was filling up my eye as I was watching it getting smaller in the distance.
"What's wrong, Marina?" Jiminy asked.
I said, "I don't know. I just. . . I just have this strange feeling that I might never see Fantasy Land again."

Because the author wants me to nobly sacrifice myself at the end of the book.

"Oh, of course you will," he said. "If you believe that you'll see it again, then you will.
Just say you'll see Fantasy Land again in your heart and someday, you will return safe and sound."
I looked at him standing on my shoulder and smiled. Then my smile disappeared when Silver shouted, "All right, you royalties! Front and center!"

Royalties? Is he calling them the money someone gets after allowing someone to license their product?

I said to him, "Well. . . here we go. The start of our first hard days work."
Jiminy took out his glasses, a notebook, and a tiny pen saying, "I better start my job."

"The ceiling is a floor, too, if you believe in yourself."-Lupin, Breaking Cat News

-Go see my coloring work at my Deviantart Account.
-Check out and critique my new World of Darkness fancreation, Angel: The Revelation.
(Now with a better link.)
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Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 22nd August 2017 - 04:42 AM