Trixie's Magic Bit, FUCKING DICKGIRL PONIES
Trixie's Magic Bit, FUCKING DICKGIRL PONIES
Audino if I can put up with your shit
Joined: 29-March 12
Member No.: 626
Apr 30 2012, 04:00 AM
Welp, may as well make my first mock now. This fanfic is a delightful bit of work about a bit Trixie built that gives dicks to female horses. Yeah, I bet this is going to be a hearwarming tale of love and discovery. It's very big on Fimfiction.net (the de facto site for pony fanfiction). Well, not much to say here, so I'll just give you the mock. The story is normal, my stuff's in bold.
Trixie's Magic Bit, by Applejinx
It was a delightful fall day, the colors warming towards dusk
Dusk was becoming quite popular throughout the spectrum.,
as Applejack cantered along the path toward home, alongside the borders of the Everfree Forest. It would be nice to settle down and unwind,
Hah, fooled you! This story's actually about how much the narrator needs a vacation.
An exceptionally rare occurrence for Applejack.
after (o’ course) taking out the trash, feeding the chickens, checking on the watering troughs, moving a couple sacks of grain from the barn to the larder, and making dinner for Granny Smith. The sturdy earth pony sagged a bit
We have implants that can help with that, you know.
, but didn’t slow her pace- this was usual, after all. Every day was like this, and she insisted to herself that it was soothing, and not just wearying...
Her ear twitched. Was that- a shriek? It was real faint, but...
Applejack slowed her pace, coming to a halt. The air whispered through the foreboding trees. T he stillness settled, the breeze moaned
... in anticipation of the horrors that would transpire in this fic.
- and then, again: a shriek.
Applejack didn’t hesitate. She turned and began cantering into the forest, slowly at first, listening with her ears perked and twisting this way and that-
Applejack has been working on pursuing her true calling as a contortionist.
casting back and forth, staring into the spooky shadows.
Ah, such an eloquent, profound description for a shadow. Move over, Jules Verne, we've got a new master of description here.
Another sound! But this time, not a shriek. It was like Fluttershy, but it was more of a moan- perhaps she was imagining things? Applejack cantered forward, hesitantly, peering around trees.
She entered a clearing- and froze,
And was stuck in the Everfree Forest till the end of time. THE END.
horrified, discovering the cause of the mysterious sounds as another soft breathy shriek wafted through the air.
Fluttershy stood in the middle of the clearing, her legs braced forward and her stance wide, and upon her was an unmistakable pony- the light-blue, rainbow-tailed pony of Applejack’s dreams-
Suddenly, lesbians. Seriously, fanfic writers, if you're going to ship characters, at least provide backstory for it, rather than assuming that one is already in love with the other.
Dash, straddling the shy yellow pegasus. Dash, whose lean hips worked rhythmically,
The crotch viola will catch on eventually, dammit! Rainbow Dash is merely a visionary!
whose wings flapped, beating the air with excitement. Dash, whose body contorted in orgasmic spasms, who shoved something deeper
WE MUST GO DEEPER.
in the paroxysm of her release, provoking a wild squeal from the apparently lust-maddened Fluttershy- Dash, acting out one of Applejack’s darkest, most impossible fantasies before the earth pony’s horrified, fascinated eyes.
Yet how could this possibly be?
Well, when two ponies love each other very much, they... seriously, you should know this shit by now.
Applejack watched them shudder to a halt- and choked back a sob.
Fluttershy’s head hung limply in post-coital dazedness, but at the sound, her ear flicked up in her panicky way, and before Applejack could think what to do, the yellow pegasus had looked around, and her huge fearful eyes caught Applejack’s and held them.
Those are some awesome eyes. Tell me, how can I make my eyes grab the eyes of others?
“Now what?” panted Dash. There seemed to be something in her mouth. “Uh, srrry if it got a lil’ lively, mmkay? I just felt like...”
Oh great, phonetic transcriptions of the dialogue in a character with their mouth full. My favourite.
“No!” cried Fluttershy. “We have... company...”
At this, Dash’s head shot bolt upright, and she glanced around and quickly spotted Applejack, her eyes going wide- and indeed, there was something in her mouth. It looked like a little bit, as one would find in a harness, and it glowed. It was a familiar glow, too, a glow not easily forgotten by residents of Ponyville. The glow said, Great And Powerful Trixie,
Talking glows. Now I've read everything.
to anyone who had seen the color- in other words, to all residents of Ponyville.
“...‘pplej’ck!” stammered Rainbow Dash, the bit still in her teeth.
Applejack’s eyes flooded with tears. “Ah’ll be going now, don’t you mind me...”
“No, wait!” managed Rainbow Dash. “L’k... look, y’ gotta look!”
She hopped off Fluttershy’s back, and swung around.
You swing me right around, baby right around~.
Applejack didn’t know whether to flee or stare.
For my sanity's sake, pick the former.
Only by a technical knock-out, though.
as Dash reared, grinning around the bit, kicking the air with her forehooves as a stallion’s pride swung and bobbled under her,
What, some stallion's
glistening with Fluttershy’s pleasures.
Applejack’s heart nearly stopped.
Such a pity that it couldn't stop entirely.
How many times had she stayed up too late, done with her chores at last, needing to sleep for the next day’s work but unable to rest, clopping until she was exhausted with that one thought- what if her secret love, Rainbow Dash, was a boy?
Hopefully, only zero times.
She’d even managed it more than once, just imagining them together while both still mares- but the big fantasy, the one she’d never confess, was this and this alone. It had doubtless colored her everyday times spent with Dash. She’d fawned over the trim little athlete as if she WAS her stallion, something Dash had never objected to. But she’d known all along that it couldn’t be more than yearning and adoration, and that had always sufficed.
And now this?
Dash had stopped prancing.
Pretyy prancing ponies, lalala.
The gleaming blue ponycock drooped under her, and she stared hard at Applejack, picking up on the horror, the dismay, and not liking what she saw.
That makes two of us, sister.
“You’re s’POSED to LIKE it,” she said, petulantly.
Wrong fucking fanfic, Applejack.
Dashie, you really are gay...
I'd say she's only mildly cheerful, but okay.
” managed Applejack.
“What?” squeaked Dash, around the bit. “Doesn’t count! Wings weren’t touching! It’s just fun! You know- FUN?”
F is for friends who do stuff together, U is for you and me...
Applejack leaked tears. “Ah will be going now...”
Applejack: And rinse mah brain with some bleach.
“No! I don’t want you to! I need you to be here!”
Fluttershy had seemed to shrink in on herself. “I think it’s me who needs to be going... th-thank you, Rainbow Dash, I really did need that though I’m afraid I only caused a lot of trouble...”
Artist’s rendition of Fluttershy’s face when she said that line.
Dash turned on Fluttershy. “You WERE a lot of trouble! Why wouldn’t you do anything for me? You think I like being like this, huh? You think just because I can kick ass like a boy, I must just be a boy?”
At this, Fluttershy bridled.
“I am so sorry. I couldn’t. No! It wouldn’t be safe, at all.”
Fluttershy was totally unpersuaded. “It wouldn’t! You were being unreasonable. And it was horrible, just horrible! Don’t ever mention it to me again, okay? I just want to pretend that never happened.”
You could say the same about this story.
She shuddered, her eyes haunted. “That shouldn’t even be possible.”
Dash looked frustrated. “I still think I could’ve...”
“NO, Rainbow Dash,” said Fluttershy, in her no-arguments voice.
So she said it in a squeaky, trying-too-hard voice?
Applejack hadn’t left. In part it was seeing her friends in conflict- and part of it was the powerful and unfair craving that flooded her body,
for Boston Cream Pie.
being so near Stallion Dash. It was unbearable to think that it was Fluttershy who got to take him for a ride, and not the earth pony who’d fantasized about that moment for years. Applejack’s hurt pride was crumbling, weakened by an onslaught of erotic pressure that had been pent up with no outlet, and she considered fleeing as fast as she could gallop,
DO IT, FILLY! Seriously, do it while my sanity's intact.
for she could feel deep between her legs that she would soon be begging Dash for a taste, on any terms, whether she could live with her shame or not.
Dash’s gaze flicked back to Applejack, and her eyes widened, reading all too well the conflict and hurt. “Uh, yeah, so Applejack, I really wanted you to be here. I’ll show you why. I bet you’re wondering what this thing in my teeth is?”
Applejack didn’t answer. She stared out of the corner of her wide, panicky eyes, on the verge of flipping out.
“I’ll just leave you girls alone with this, okay?”
hay guyz ill just leeve u to ur relationship troubles, kthx by.
said Fluttershy. “I am so, so sorry, in every way... well, not in every way, but you know what I mean? I’ll... I’ll just be going...” With that, she slunk off, her gait a little unsteady and dreamy, as if she’d been left awfully satisfied. Applejack’s eyes took in every detail, and returned to Rainbow Dash, full of hurt and shock.
Dash didn’t hesitate. “Hey AJ- catch!”
Before Applejack could think, the little cylinder was flying through the air at her. She had no time to do anything but snap at it- and she caught it in her teeth, biting it out of the air just as Dash had intended. And if her eyes had been wide before, they just about popped out, then.
A surge of magic flooded her, that seemed to grab at her insides and seek out every bit of quivering yearning she had for Dash’s stallion-ness, and change it. Applejack couldn’t breathe as she felt her body transforming, a turgid mass gathering, extending, swelling in a flow of herself outward
Oh my god, it's a xenomorph! Quickly, someone kill it before it starts hunting you to the last stallion!
into something that responded to the sight of Rainbow Dash by urgently hardening and projecting
Dick: You are such an idiot! I mean, you can't even get past 10 inches!
hungrily under her belly.
Applejack’s eyes were frantic. “Oh, sweet Celestia, Ah’m a dude. Dashie, what the hell is this?”
Dash pranced up. She frisked around in a circle, and Applejack could see, smell, just about feel her femaleness- the bit was gone, and Rainbow Dash was all tomboy and no boy now. She smirked, and faced Applejack, body low, rump wiggling as if to pounce, tail swishing the air.
“Trixie was a little pervert. I dug through the wreckage of her cart, and you wouldn’t believe the stuff I found. I’ll never look at a rope the same way again, I’ll tell you that- and the pictures, wow! And then there was this. Trixie was a lesbian!”
Ugh, thanks for reminding me of all the Twixie I've seen.
sang Dash, playfully. “Betcha didn’t see that one coming!”
Rainbow Dash, have you read any of the fanfics? It would have been more surprising if she were totally straight.
“But...” said Applejack, flushing red.
She should really see a vet about that.
“And when I picked up this little toy, whoa! I never clopped off like THAT before!
Wait, I thought it granted dicks, not super-speed.
It was crazy! But I knew what I wanted. Except dumb Fluttershy chickened out on me!”
“Seem like she DIN’T...” snapped Applejack.
“Oh, that! I told you, wings weren’t touching...”
“And what was the problem? Seems like you weren’t havin’ no problem!” Applejack huffed
in exasperation, and then her eyes went from annoyance to shock as her erection bounced up and slapped her lightly on the belly.
Wow, that erection needs to learn manners!
Dash’s wings quivered, and she bit her lip and tried to peek under Applejack’s body. “Whoa, do that again...”
“I am waitin’ for an ANSWER,” stated Applejack, her quick anger gratefully embraced as a refuge from the embarrassment and awkward questions that might be asked of her.
“I told you! I wanted to take it for a test-fly, and Fluttershy happened to be around...”
“And you screwed her six ways from Sunday, din’tcha?”
“She wouldn’t do me,” grumbled Rainbow Dash. “That’s what I wanted. I was being nice. And she was good enough to come out here, all this way. Come on, haven’t you ever had her pleading with you? It’s like impossible to say no.”
Applejack blinked. “I seem to remember somethin’ about that. Y’all got in each other’s grills pretty good there,
Applejack, stop trying to act street. You lack the proper swag for it.
I don’t usually see Fluttershy insist. What the hay was her problem?”
“Remember the Poison Joke that we got?”
“Ah do... Oh! You mean it was...”
“Y’all wanna give me a lil’ hint about it?” said Applejack, ears coming forward in full attention. There were stallions, and then there were STALLIONS, after all.
So, one type has emphasis placed upon their stallion-ness?
The idea of a nearby super-stallion gave Applejack a quiver,
But not a bow. Fucking stallion.
even in her artificially male form.
Dash’s expression was sulky. “She might have been right. I guess there’s no way she wasn’t right. Whoof!
And then Rainbow Dash was a dog. Then again, she is a bit of a bitch.
I’m still insulted.
She said I was too little! I am a mare, dammit! I am not a filly! Seriously- is THAT too little?”
With that, she frisked about, and presented Applejack with her taut, trim rump- and the earth pony’s shocked gaze was suddenly taking in Rainbow Dash’s pert vag,
Even her vagina is cocky!
right up close. “Dashie! Y’all stop that!”
“Oh, no! Not you too! You are NOT going to leave me hanging here, not you!”
“But it’s... lady parts, Dashie!” Applejack’s heart pounded
... the door down in an attempt to escape the story.
, and her eyes were wide again. She’d protested automatically, but her heart was in her throat,
Scientists would have a field day with Applejack's anatomy.
because there was one thing she could not deny- the close look at excited Dash’s treasure had hit her harder than she would have believed.
That's one belligerent treasure pile!
Her stallionhood responded, going achingly, numbingly hard under her, and she could not tear her eyes from the prize, as much as she desperately wanted to tell herself she had no interest in such fillyfooling.
Fillyfooling. That's this fandom's term for lesbian. Yeah, fuck that word, let's move on.
Dashie looked exquisite.
Dash looked around, then frisked in another half-circle and peered under Applejack again. “Whoof!”
“Y’all cut that out!” sobbed Applejack. “It’s confusin’!”
Wait, "ya'll?" Oh dear, it appears Applejack has finally lost her mind. Time to take her behind the shed...
And yeah, I'll just stop for there. The next half of the chapter will be done next week. For now, I'm just going to pray to sweet Azathoth for the annihilation of the human race.
This post has been edited by Nihilistic One: Jun 17 2012, 09:55 AM
Audino if I can put up with your shit
Joined: 29-March 12
Member No.: 626
May 25 2012, 06:48 AM
To my legions of adoring readers, I apologize. It took me longer than anticipated to finish the second half of this chapter. Sorry, I had a lot of shit going on. But enough about that, let's just roll out the mock.
“What’s so confusing?”
The fact that you have an artifact that gives girls dicks, for starters.
said Dash. “Look at you. Or, well... okay, you take MY word for it, because I looked at you. Come on, you’ve got to give that to me. Ya chicken?
In the distance, an orange filly felt as if someone called her name.
Ya don’t think I’ll feel good?”
“It ain’t that...”
Dash flicked her tail under Applejack’s nose. “Don’tcha love me?”
Wow, it's like Applejack's reading my mind!
At that, Dash froze.
One would think these characters would start wearing jackets, given how often they freeze.
She turned, to look first skeptically, and then with concern, at her friend. “Applejack... it’s not that at all, huh?”
Applejack shook her head, eyes glistening, and Dash moved up to nuzzle her chin.
“Tell me. Come on. It’s not that you don’t love me, it’s that...?”
Applejack’s eyes were stricken. “It’s that... Ah do love you.” She spat the bit out upon the ground. “An’ I’m a mare!” And, she was, again, just like that.
Dash’s eyes were closed as she nuzzled her friend. “But you silly, I knew that part already. I knew you were a mare. Never stopped me before.”
“But... oh, Dashie! How can I face myself? Y’all don’t hate me? I am so ashamed, and so sorry...”
“Hey!” squeaked Dash. She glanced around, and whispered, “I love you back. Numbskull.”
“But... the gaaay, Dashie! The gay.”
Pffthahahahaha! Oh man, that's pretty stupid. That's totally my new signature quote.
“Hel-LO! No wings, so wings aren’t touching. So it can’t be gay. Ha.”
... The fuck? How is it... but... gawd, whatever.
“But... but Dashie, I love you so hard, how can it not be gay? I’m a damn fillyfooler. I... I liked the look of you, there.” Applejack gulped, at that admission.
“Then why’d you hold out on me?
She wanted to make sure she had a better hand. Obviously.
Do you know how horny I get? Trixie’s magic thing is right there, you know what to do!”
“Well...” said Applejack, and just blushed redder, and redder, and redder.
This repetition is stupid, this repetition is stupid, this repetition is stupid.
Rainbow Dash’s face fell. “You wanted what I gave Fluttershy. Didn’t you?”
“Oh, lord, Dashie, yes. Oh, please?”
Dash sat, staring levelly at Applejack, as the larger pony shuffled from hoof to hoof, cherry-red, her eyes imploring and pleading. Finally, with a flutter of her wings, she spoke.
“I do love you, Applejack. I love you as much as I love ANY pony... no, more! And I promise, I’m going to take care of you. I will turn into a stallion for you, and I will ball you until you beg for mercy and trot funny for days.”
Applejack’s face lit up- and Dash’s forehoof came down in a fierce stomp.
“And you’re still gonna do me FIRST!”
“Oh my gosh, Dashie! You will? Uh... I gotta?” protested Applejack. “You looked to be awful good at it...”
Rainbow Dash’s expression was petulant. “I’m good at everything. It’s athletic. That’s why I want you for the US army. In Cloudsdale, I played around, and guys just don’t have the stamina. Sometimes it takes me a long time to get off... I want a stallion who doesn’t spurt in five seconds, no matter what I do. I want one who doesn’t want to be somewhere else five seconds after that. I’ve been with you for years, and I know what you’re like. I want you. But with a cock.
And I want a cake that won't make me gain weight or make my stomach hurt, but that ain't how life works. Oh, right, shitty fanfiction. All right, carry on then.
Trixie’s magic thing is right over there.”
“Don’t y’all need to warm up a little?
I agree. I mean, she does freeze a lot in this story.
Should I... I dunno... be doin’ anything, romantic-like? Ah ain’t exactly an expert on fillies...”
“Oh, please, Applejack- why do you think it’s you I want? Why do you think it’s you I love? I don’t want any of that filly crap! Is it me that you love, or some fluff-brain weakling that just LOOKS like me?”
“It is you! It’s only you!”
“Fine,” said Dash, challengingly. “Show me.”
Applejack’s eyes were wide, vulnerable- but then, the expression slowly changed, as a smile crept onto her face, turned into a grin, then a mad gleeful grin that Applejack couldn’t stop making.
Looks more like the face of the Bronies jerking off to these.
“You’re on. Oh, Dashie... you are SO on. Y’all come HERE, girl, right now.”
Dash hopped up and pranced over, unhesitatingly, to nestle against Applejack, her slim body pressing against her in all its supple aliveness.
Please stop trying to make your prose seem sophisticated; we all know why the plebeian masses are reading this.
She pawed at the ground, and not randomly- the magical bit rolled over, deftly summoned by the cerulean pony’s clever hoof.
“Why, you greedy thing,” chuckled Applejack, stroking Dash’s elegant flank and embracing her. More than ever, Applejack marveled at the feel of the blue pegasus. Dash never entirely relaxed- her coltish body held an endearing awkwardness, a slight tenseness as if she was always about to leap away in some direction, even as she nestled against Applejack and quivered with desire.
“I told you, AJ,” said Dash. “Do you know how long it’s been?” She playfully butted her pert rump against Applejack’s belly, causing a gasp. “I could take you right now, I’m so horny.”
“Ain’t either of us horny,” teased Applejack.
“You’re wingy, not horny. An’ I’m clingy- but for you I’ll be jes’ dicky.”
“Get oonnn with it!”
Thank you. Gawd, this fanfic meanders so bloody much that it isn't even funny.
moaned Dash, and wriggled lewdly against Applejack, who drew in a startled breath. “Y’all fixin’ to get me off even without a dick, pony girl!”
“For the love of Celestia get ON with it!” begged Dash. Applejack felt twitches of pegasus rump against her, and her eyes widened as she realized her beloved was ‘winking’ spastically while still pressed to her body.
“Oh my. That what I think it is?”
Dash groaned, eyes crossing, and began to pant.
Applejack raised her chin proudly. “To the rescue!” she proclaimed. “Mah precious love! Ah knows what you need!” She flipped the bit up into the air and clamped it between her teeth in one fierce bite. Dash squealed, feeling something thrust against her- and Applejack rolled away, and leapt to her feet, rampant.
“Git up! Assume the po-sition,
Artist's interpretation of Applejack.
Rainbow Dash stared for just a moment, frozen in shock like all her fantasies had come true at once, and she couldn’t even breathe... her pupils insanely dilated, her face all eyes and dropped jaw... and then with a squeal of “ohmygoshohmygoshOHMYGOSH!” she bounced to her feet, and rushed to stand directly in front of Applejack, facing away, her body quivering and her pert vag winking in frantic staccato.
Applejack strode forward a step. She reached out with a forehoof, and thumped Dash’s butt right behind the cutie mark,
Are you serious? Good gawd, a 6 year old could have written that.
rewarded by the immediate reaction of the blue pegasus- a strangled squeal,
Because when I think erotic fiction, I know that I think "strangled."
more shuddering, the lovely rainbow tail flicking urgently to the side, and a delectable glisten springing out from that cute vagina.
“Y’all ready?” teased Applejack, her breath coming hard and heavy as well. A maddened scream of pegasus
“Stop saying ‘yay’ and FUCK me!” pleaded Rainbow Dash. Applejack blinked. “But I din’t... oh, never mind, hold on!”
With that, her powerful hips began to shift, the magical stallionhood sticking rigidly out from between her legs, waggling around madly as the earth pony tried to do what even natural males sometimes found tricky-
Armpit farting? I don't think during sex is the best time to practice that.
in the height of passion, find that spot on a frantic, wriggling filly, with no hands to direct- and with more than a foot between the base of the waggle, and the end of the hard-on.
“I got it!” protested Applejack, gritting her teeth on the bit and struggling to aim. She butted against Dash’s rump, rammed her mons firmly and provoked a dizzy shriek- and then, on the third try, Applejack felt something she had never imagined feeling before.
She felt the end of her cock wedge into the deliciously taut, silky-slick vag of Rainbow Dash,
Ladies and gentlemen, that was seriously a page of Applejack trying to shove her magic dick into Rainbow Dash. Good god, are all of the characters drunk or something?
whose body stiffened instantly in utter shock. Dash was tight as hell, what with her agitation, and what she’d seen of Applecock
Ha ha ha. It's funny because it's Applejack, but with jack replaced with cock. I thought you guys needed explanation, since it's such a funny joke.
had been bountiful- but now, Dash felt it, and her heart leapt to her throat in an attempt to choke her out and end the fic. AJ made for a big boy, and Dash knew instantly she had been a foolish, foolish mare.
Applejack snorted. “Course I’ll be careful, my precious love! Who do you think Ah am?”
Dash couldn’t speak, even to protest that she hadn’t said anything. She felt Applejack’s forelegs hug her more tenderly, stroke her sides, felt Applejack’s nose nuzzling her wings- how could she know what that did to a pegasus?
Basic knowledge of anatomy? Reading too many shitty fapfictions? Your guess is as good as mine.
Dash’s heart pounded as that nose, exhaling passionate hot breaths, traced out all the way to nuzzle the very pinions of her wings lovingly, and just as that arousal began to fill her senses- she felt the powerful hips against her, felt that stallion cock sliding and wedging with deliberate slowness more and more deeply into her quivering body.
All Dash could do was squeak, hoarsely,
Now that I think of it, Rainbow Dash always was a little horse.
as her eyes rolled back in her head,
She gave a final groan and died, THE END!
and the strong forelegs held her firmly as the stallionhood thrust deep.
“Ohhh, my...” breathed Applejack. “Oh, my...”
Dash fought for a proper breath.
Because, as we all know, one such as Rainbow Dash can't just take the breath of a plebeian; rather, she must fight to take a civilized breath.
She felt like her eyes were popping out, and no wonder- she’d been
Rainbow Dash just about fainted, right there. Her wings flapped madly, her hooves kicked the ground, and she stared up at the trees with wild, mad eyes, unfocused on anything beyond the sensations that flooded her, the massive loving force that transfixed her yearning body and gave such powerful, sweet nudges to her insides, in a steady, unhurried rhythm, and Dash got a breath and gave tremulous voice...
Applejack’s eyes were half lidded, her attention split- a huge part of her was simply blissing out, caressing Dash’s tense little frame, still feeling that adorable coltish awkwardness and overcome with emotion to be fondling her love so openly. Then, there was another huge part of her, that never was meant to be a part of her but suddenly was- and Applejack found that overwhelming as well, that strange hard urgent thing, that felt so damn good plunged deeply into Dashie. It felt so right, so very right. She wasn’t sure what the hell it meant, or how much you were a fillyfooler if you were a dude- surely vag worshipping counted differently if you were doing it with a cock?
You know how, when writing, authors are supposed to hear a voice telling them when a sentence is terrible? It's apparent that Applejinx lacks that voice.
Whatever- Applejack felt swept along by the sensation, and with delight, she felt a growing ease and suppleness to the tight little vagina she explored.
She could feel it on her new stallionhood- those tender nudges (or perhaps she didn’t know her own strength- yes, best watch out for that!) were causing beloved Dashie to melt and croon, the cerulean mare’s pussy softening and grasping with less teeth-gritting tightness, slickening around her new appendage. It was becoming so easy to move. Dash was shuddering with pleasure, panting.
“Goooood, oh gooood...”
Applejack hung onto the magic bit, and shifted her feet a mite.
Her legs must be fairly dexterous to shift a dust mite around.
Seemed like it was safe to take it up a notch- surely Rainbow Dash expected it of her. Applejack began to withdraw further, the motion covering more inches, always ending with that firm, determined nudge up to the farthest she could reach. She felt that there was still length to her that hadn’t been wettened in Dashie, but not being a real stallion, she wasn’t sure what you did about that. Memory stirred- oh, right, ram it in like a colt’s first fuckin’ and blow your load in ten seconds. To hell with that! Dashie deserved so much more than that.
Dash heaved great shuddering breaths as she felt Applejack’s thick stallionhood begin to move in earnest, tugging almost halfway out, then shoving urgently to her depths again, and again. It was just like getting a wild ride from an excited stallion- but slower, so much slower and more tender, and yet there was a strength there- oh, how there was, the stallionhood kept plunging with deliberate pace as if nothing could ever stop it.
She, through dark magicks, gained a dick. When she used it, the dick couldn't stop fucking. Now the dick is going around, fucking everything in sight. This summer, behold The Dick That Couldn't Stop. Directed by Michael Bay.
“Oh, Applejack, goood, goood!”
The earth pony gritted her teeth on the bit. Her eyes flared. Her hat had fallen off, and her blonde mane spilled disheveled over her neck as she clung to Dash’s body and worked her new prize in Dash’s increasingly frantic marehood. And Applejack’s eyes widened more- as she felt her body, impossibly, release.
“Goooood, oh good, don’t stop ohhh!”
Applejack’s eyes were wild and panicky as she felt something pump between her legs, squirting through the stiff appendage she’d never been born with, and into her beloved. She gritted her teeth harder, and let her thrusts grow a little wilder, her head filled with the silent plea, ‘Don’t you give out on me now!’
Dash was losing her pony mind.
Good to see that her chickadee mind is still in there.
She could no longer see straight,
The danger of jerking off, children. Of course, if you're reading this, you've probably already lost the ability to see...
and couldn’t tell if Applejack had blown a load into her, or if it was just the way her insides felt while the earth pony churned her into pegasus butter,
Wow. I'm sorry, but given all the gore fics RD is involved in due to this fandom, I can't help but think that this is going to go guro on me.
in maddening, ecstatic slow-motion. Dash kicked at the ground again and shrieked.
“Goood! Oh good! Yes!”
Applejack clung to her frantic lover, hanging in there, and not slackening her thrusts even as her body threatened to wobble, or fall over. It was beyond pleasure or pain, for her- had she pulled out upon orgasm, it would have been pleasure unmatched, but while she persisted, her body somehow continued to orgasm, the sensations climbing up the scale to the indescribable, just as they seemed to be doing for Dash, who was on the verge of howling with lust and whose wings flapped madly as if invoking a tornado around them.
Unfortunately, Rainbow Dash still was 15 levels in druid away from truly invoking a tornado.
Dash’s body jolted, her pert vag delivering a sharp clench against the inexorable thrusting Applejack continued to deliver packages. She figured she could work a fuckin' into her delivery route.
Again, the little pegasus was rocked with a bolt from the blue,
Even God wants this travesty to stop.
again the earth pony didn’t let up or alter her pace in the slightest. Sweat dripped from her nose, and her eyes were fierce as she kept herself going.
A circular flash burst forth as Dash’s body bucked under Applejack’s. It was just a small one, dissipating quickly, and it had rainbow colors. Applejack managed a “The...?” with the last remnants of her breath, and then just hung on to her beloved, pressing the stallionhood deep and savoring her reward-
A two week trip to Disneyworld?
for Rainbow Dash cried out breathlessly and her body jolted and shook, her pegasus vag convulsing
As opposed to her angler fish vag?
on Applejack’s member in a sustained madness of
My heavens, thought Applejack- I don’t think I ever did come that hard- my sweet darling... and she hung on as the orgasm peaked, sustained, and began to subside, only to be totally shocked, for rather than going limp and sated her beloved Rainbow Dash kicked and bucked underneath her- crying out inarticulate joys- and bolted forward, leaving Applejack to thump to the ground!
The bit fell out of Applejack’s mouth when her mouth fell open in shock, and the hard stallion cock that had been first yanked from pegasus vag with a quick slurp
You know, this sex scene has so much food-related imagery, it makes you wonder what Applejinx's angle was with this fic.
and then scrunched against the dirt, evaporated as if it had never existed, leaving only a wet patch on Applejack’s belly and the ground. She looked up in disbelief, to see a series of blue streaks that whipped the tree branches of the forest, mad arcs of over-energized flight that took shapes and curlicues she’d never seen, and she heaved a deep, wavering breath. Some forest creature fled with an ‘oh my!’, but Applejack didn’t spare a thought about that.
If this was love, so be it- she could watch her beloved
Then, before she could draw another breath, the streak rocketed towards her, and suddenly there stood Dash, lit up like Applejack had never seen,
And now Rainbow Dash is a stoner. This fic is full of surprises, ain't it?
panting, her eyes luminous and a bit crazy, her smile likewise, and Applejack felt her own grin coming on to match it.
A grin that doubled, painfully, as Rainbow Dash jumped on her and cuddled like a puppy, trembling with obvious joy and adoration and trying to press her whole coltish body against Applejack’s.
“I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you...”
“You... you did whut? A sonic rain-gasm? That whut that was?”
... I hate Applejinx so much right now.
“I love you I love you I love you I.....” Dash gasped in a huge breath. “love you I love you I...”
“Whoa, Dashie! Breathe! Funny, I was just thinkin’ the same thing...”
Dash dutifully took a few more measured breaths, her eyes dancing and gleaming with delight. She resumed, half as loud and half as fast, “love you I love you I love you I...” and then burst out into peals of squeaky, adorable laughter.
“Ah love you more,” teased Applejack.
“I love you most!”
“Y’all love JUST only me?” challenged Applejack.
This stopped Dash for half a second. “I love you best!”
“Hmmm. I love you faithful. What do you say to that, missy?” said Applejack.
Fuck you, asshole?
“I love you always!” squeaked the quivering, ecstatic rainbow pegasus.
“Well... I love you for ALL my heart. Hmm?”
Rainbow Dash drank in the sight of the exhausted, loving earth pony once more
So, in addition to being a stoner, Rainbow Dash is also a lush? Perhaps Applejack should think about their relationship a bit more.
- and then snuggled up against her, smaller awkward coltish pegasus body pressed against her best and most cherished lover- the one who’d seemed impossible to ever have.
“I love you forever,” she breathed, her eyes closing in complete trust, her body finally melting against Applejack’s with complete ease.
Applejack was silent for a moment, holding Dash to her, and then a tear came to her eye, a sweet tear, for what was there to be bitter about- really?
“I love you for yourself,” she said. “An’ I always will, no matter what.”
Rainbow Dash- and then Applejack- slept.
Welp, that was fucking stupid. Oh well, it's ov- shit, there are 20 chapters left!
Oh well. Again, I apologize for the tardiness, but the next full chapter will be up by Wednesday, scout's honour.
This post has been edited by Nihilistic One: May 25 2012, 07:09 PM
A man of questionable intelligence
Joined: 30-November 10
From: A Land Down Under
Member No.: 412
May 25 2012, 11:50 AM
Allow me to shorten these two chapters into less than a paragraph;
Rainbow Dash: Hey, Applejack, here's a thing that gives you a cock!
Applejack: SURPRISE BUTTSEX!
Audino if I can put up with your shit
Joined: 29-March 12
Member No.: 626
May 25 2012, 06:45 PM
Allow me to shorten these two chapters into less than a paragraph;
Rainbow Dash: Hey, Applejack, here's a thing that gives you a cock!
Applejack: SURPRISE BUTTSEX!
You, my friend, have summed up this story pretty well, except for
TRIXIE: Mistress, fuck me!
Yeah, it turns into that kind of story. Spoiler alert!
This post has been edited by Nihilistic One: May 25 2012, 06:46 PM
Ho ho! Ho ho! You wanna have anal sex?
Joined: 23-May 12
Member No.: 649
May 25 2012, 06:47 PM
Audino if I can put up with your shit
Joined: 29-March 12
Member No.: 626
May 25 2012, 11:59 PM
Audino if I can put up with your shit
Joined: 29-March 12
Member No.: 626
May 30 2012, 08:28 AM
Terribly sorry guys, I was almost finished with the chapter, and then suddenly my computer automatically refreshed the page and fucking deleted everything I had on the page when I was literally 5 paragraphs away from finishing it. Sorry guys, this chapter is going to have to be delayed until tomorrow.
Audino if I can put up with your shit
Joined: 29-March 12
Member No.: 626
May 31 2012, 06:25 AM
When we last left our heroes(?), Rainbow Dash was apparently trying to fuck Fluttershy with a magic cock, Applejack walked in, moar fucking ensued and Applejack and Rainbow Dash decided that they were in love (?). I might be missing a few details, but that's the gist of last chapter. Well, so begins chapter two, I guess.
“What do you mean, a surprise, darlin’?
She means SURPRISE BUTTSECKS! Jesus, I know last chapter was a little boring, but I thought you could remember something from it.
I don’t need nothin’ special. Just your sweet
“No, really!” said Rainbow Dash. “I have a big surprise for you.
Unless it involves napalm, Jim Cummings, Yog-Sothoth and a reunion tour for Genesis, I don't really want to read about it.
Something I want to share. Meet me in the back of Sugarcube Corner, by the stairs.”
“Ain’t that Pinkie Pie’s...”
“Give me twenty- no, make that thirty minutes!” Dash raced off.
Were she in character, she could do that in precisely 1/180 of that time.
Applejack paced back and forth, more worried than she wanted to admit about the daemonic spiders that were going to devour her soul unless she ate more construction paper.. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Rainbow D... actually, it was, it so very much was.
For those of you keeping score at home, she claims to love Rainbow Dash, but probably wouldn't trust her to shine her boots. Sounds like a base for a long, healthy relationship. Why, my closest friend is a chronic liar, and he's been so helpful to me over the years, like that one time he told me that eating shit would increase my intelligence tenfold.
She had a feeling that there was more to Dash than met the eye-
Godammit, now I'm thinking of a Transformers/My Little Pony crossover. At least it wouldn't be as boring as this.
and she’d already caught Dash with Fluttershy, and what if the mare of her dreams really was a bad, bad pony?
If I remember correctly, if your pony is misbehaving, you ride that bitch into the fucking- wait, don't! Just give it time and ride it nowhere. I still need to eat dinner.
It was tough to bear. Still, thought Applejack, she had that magic bit still tucked away under her pillow,
Ah, the dick fairy left it under there.
and though Dash had insisted it be used on her first, she had promised to use it on Applejack nex...
The earth pony froze,
Ponyville really needs some heaters.
lip quivering. No, she hadn’t, had she? She’d promised to use it. She hadn’t said anything about reserving it for her new lover.
You know, I actually can identify with Applejack here. I can remember one time when I was supposed to use a friend of mine's dick and told him to reserve it for me, but when my time to use his cock came around, some fuckin' douchebag was using it! Children, the moral is to always personally reserve dicks for yourself.
Applejack rushed to her bed, bit the corner of the pillow and tossed it heedlessly aside with a flick of her head. There was nothing under it, except a little indentation where a perverted magical artifact had been. And Applejack didn’t have to be a clever pony to know crop rotation. Oh, and I suppose she wouldn't have to be that smart to know where that bit had gone.
What was the time? Had it been twenty minutes? It didn’t matter any longer.
No, Applejack! Don't be a hero!
Applejack burst from her home, galloping for all she was worth
Goddam, give her $10 plus taxes and she'll go running everywhere.
until her nostrils flared and her heart pounded, dreadful fantasies ravaging her mind.
Oh no, she's recalling Final Fantasy XIII! My god, her fandom is dying!
Was Dashie plunging that cerulean stallionhood into Pinkie at that very moment? Or perhaps, was Dash’s plan to give Pinkie the bit, and then for Pinkie to service both herself and Applejack? Did that count as sharing in Dash’s strange mind?
Clearly, Applejack is nothing if not a philosopher. These are important questions, ones that must be answered for the good of the
Applejack ran on, unable to resist guessing what Pinkie would get as her stallionhood.
Because I know that I always think about what my female friends' hypothetical cocks would look like.
She’d seen Dash male, and the vision still burned in her brain,
Hey, me too! Perhaps we should start up a therapy group for all of those traumatized by this fic!
and she’d got some sense of what she, in turn, had been like- long and thick, though apparently nothing compared to the unfuckable Flutterguy.
Hey, it ain't Fluttershy's fault that the bit compelled her to become a Troper.
She’d just settled on the idea
Back in my day, we wouldn't settle upon the first idea our brain churned out; rather, we would run that motherfucker into the ground until it came up with an idea we were totally satisfied with.
that Pinkie Pie would be not overlong, but alarmingly bulky, when she arrived at Sugarcube Corner and clattered to a halt into a cabinet full of dishes.
Goddammit, she knocked over the fine china! For fuck's sake, you can't just storm into someone's bakery and destroy their dishes. Back in my day, when people halted, they ZZZZZZZZ.
Applejack suddenly realised she was about to burst into someone else’s home and accuse her of wielding a plump magical penis on the new lover she hadn’t had for more than a day.
We have gotten so low that even the characters acknowledge their own stupidity. Impressive, but will it stick?
She was in no position to make demands, the Don already held her farm's contract; oh, -and the only reason she assumed debauchery was in store, was the absence of the magical bit from under her pillow. And she’d run off immediately, without even checking to see if the thing had rolled off somewhere. She hadn’t even checked in the morning to see if it was still there. She was being a foolish mare in the worst possible way, and she was completely failing to trust her friends, whom she’d known for years.
Ah, so Applejinx was kind enough to set this in the future to avoid accidentally writing loli. Good on him for that; I still don't think I've recovered from Foalin' Around 2.
Ashamed of her
Not really. I mean, wouldn't you expect a bakery to be des(s)erted?
there was a sign that said, “Out for the day, delivering forty gallons of custard to Canterlot”. Applejack blinked, reading that, and steadfastly refused to consider that prospect further. Maybe they just liked custard in hoity toity places. She stepped through the empty store, her eyes wide and bashful, creeping towards the back stairs that led up to Pinkie’s place as if trying to approach a wild animal, though nobody was in sight.
On the stairs, she moved even more quietly, her heart pounding, for she heard sounds and couldn’t make out what sort of sounds they were. All her fears came flooding back as she inched up the stairs. Eventually,
“But if you have something you want to tell me, you should just say it, silly! What are you doing?”
“Just a minute...” came Rainbow Dash’s voice, with that wicked mischieviousness that always captivated Applejack.
Yeah, that voice did lock Applejack in a cage a few times. What of it?
“It’ll be great. Trust me. Mmmf...”
“What are you... Oh!” squeaked Pinkie Pie.
“Ha- hah!” said Rainbow Dash, full of self-satisfaction- and then two hooves hit the floor hard. She’d been rearing, and there was something in her mouth, by the sound of it.
Applejack’s face fell,
I swear to god, I am going to staple her face to her skull if her face falls one more time...
and she held her breath in dismay, waiting for the reaction. It wasn’t long in coming- but it came as quite a shock.
Pinkie Pie was cracking up. Applejack could imagine Dash’s sulky look, and heard a shuffling of hooves. Served her right.
Oh come on, they're only doing The Charleston... wait, what am I saying? Dump her ass for being shameless enough to do that in front of anybody!
But wait- what did the laughter mean?
laugh·ter (lftr, läf-)
1. The act of laughing.
2. The sound produced by laughing.
3. Archaic A cause or subject for laughter.
Here you go, Applejack
Suppose it was just laughing in delight? Applejack hung on every second, waiting for
“Are you crazy, Rainbow Dash? What do you think you’re doing? I mean, geez, do you even know me at all? I’m shocked! After the time we’ve been together I’d think you’d understand me by now. Stop sulking and spit that ridiculous thing out!”
Applejack’s expression became the smuggest smirk ever.
Artist's interpretation of Applejack.
Poor silly Dash.
You're the one who, in a past life, had a song made of how silly you are. So, you know, glass houses and such.
She’d give her poor lusty darling some special attention, after some comforting. What a rejectio...
“You KNOW how Pinkie Pie does you!”
There was a sound. It was a slurp,
Holy shit, this fic is going to go guro on us! It's too late for me, dear reader, but that doesn't mean you can't escape! Click the red x on the upper right and never look back upon this thread! Godspeed!
much like Pinkie did when about to inhale an entire cake... using her rather startling... tongue.
There was a small clatter, as of a magical bit being willingly dropped on the floor.
Oh, I wonder why. Maybe because it is, in fact, the sound of a magical bit being willingly dropped on the floor. Unless, of course, that is the sound of Azathoth reawakening to destroy the univers.
Applejack’s smug look drained away like water in a flushing toilet, if toilets deposited
There was a clatter of hooves, a sound like a pony lying back on something, more hooves.
Goddam, lying down on hooves! That is one crazy-ass fetish.
There was another slurp. It sounded awfully satisfied with itself.
Bloody slurps, always thinking of how awesome they are. Somebody ought to knock 'em all down a peg or two.
There was a wet noise, like a tongue intruding into personal places-
Pinkie must be a hacking god to put her tongue into somebody's porn stash.
and a lewd, heady moan, with a fetching little squeak at its end,
D'aaaaaw! Tell me, where may I get a squeak that can play fetch?
which could only be Rainbow Dash.
“No!” sobbed Applejack where she stood.
“Whb www wwwt?”
Great, Pinkie has started an impromptu dubstep session. Lovely.
came Pinkie’s voice, perplexed. It sounded like she had her tongue stuck in something.
“Nooo!” cried Applejack, and rushed the rest of the way up the stairs, to be confronted by just the sight she expected.
Rainbow Dash sprawled backwards over Pinkie’s bed, her legs thrown wide, and Pinkie Pie’s face was buried between them.
So she put her head in the space between the bed and RD's legs? Must be some new form of tantric sex.
She turned her head slightly and looked back at Applejack in astonishment, and her tongue didn’t immediately withdraw from Dash’s vagina. Then, with a slight tug, it did slither out of Rainbow Dash, and sort of dangled off the side and sort of screamed in agony of the horrors it witnessed of Pinkie’s mouth as the pink earth pony stared, dumbfounded.
“Oh, Dashie, please, no!” begged Applejack, her lip quivering.
“You’re too early!” complained Rainbow Dash.
Pinkie glanced back at her. Then, at Applejack. Then back at Dash- then back at Applejack, faster and faster, until with a squeak of outrage, she jumped to her hooves, and began to rage at Dash. “What is the matter with you? Dashie! You got a steady girlfriend and still you’re coming here, and you didn’t even tell me?”
Dash blinked. “What? It was gonna be a...”
“No! Oh no no no... don’t you know anything? Don’t you have any sense?
Questions I'm wanting to ask the author.
Shame on you! Shame! on! you! Dashie! I ought to never lick you again!
Yes, because not licking you is such a painful punishment. Such a shame, RD was almost used to you going up and licking her in front of everyone else.
Just look at her, look at how you’ve hurt her feelings! How will she ever look me in the eye again?
Well, her eyes will absorb the light and... do I really have to explain basic physics to you?
What have you DONE?”
Dash cringed at all of the poorly written melodrama, a little. “But...”
Applejack sniffled, leaking tears.
I'd call your plumber about that. Trust me, I've been there before: you start leaking tears and dismiss it; next thing you know, shit is coming out of your mouth and you friend is yelling at you for accidentally getting it on him.
“I think I best be going...”
“Nuh-uh!” cried Pinkie. She tried to approach Applejack, but the country pony shied away, trembling and Applejack panicked and kicked Pinkie in the face. Pinkie was undeterred. “Oh, no, don’t leave! You’re Dashie’s new girlfriend! And now you’re mad at her and you didn’t really understand what it would be like, being Dashie’s new girlfriend, did you?”
Applejack shook her head, blushing, and as feared, she wasn’t able to look Pinkie in the eye.
If you walk in on a girl fucking your girlfriend, you'd better look her in the eye.
/dated Clint Eastwood reference.
And I'll stop it here for now. Sorry, I know I said I'd have it all up as soon as possible by my scout's honour, but I never liked being the the Boy Scouts. Next part'll be up tomorrow.
This post has been edited by Nihilistic One: May 31 2012, 09:19 AM
Audino if I can put up with your shit
Joined: 29-March 12
Member No.: 626
Jun 2 2012, 07:28 AM
Second part of chapter 2.
She looked at the floor, and was plainly about to turn and run.
Dash looked stricken with a touch 'o the downs, lying on her back with spread legs, a slick and slightly parted marehood and a very guilty expression. “I’m... I’m sorry, AJ, I’m so sorry...”
“Naw...” mumbled Applejack, not looking up, “I’m gittin’ in th’ way, ain’t I? Here I come, yellin’ at you, and this is your life, ain’t it? I kin leave.” A tear dripped onto the floor.
Oh shit, guys. I think we have to call the WAAAAmbulance, looks like we've got an EMOgency!
Rainbow Dash’s stricken look worsened. Pinkie Pie’s glance caught it all.
“Oh no no no. Not like this,” said Pinkie. “This is NOT how it’s supposed to go. Even with a silly filly like Dashie. Think, think- think think THINK,
Artist's interpretation of Pinkie.
thinkie pie, they need an answer!” She whirled to Applejack. “You! Don’t you dare leave, okay? Stay! Auntie Pinkie says for you to stay!
You aren't my fucking mother, okay!?
You too, okay, Dashie?”
“Uh-huh,” said Rainbow Dash.
Pinkie moved closer to Applejack. “Can I touch you? I mean, are you being too freaked out? I just think you need a hug, or a nuzzle, or
“I don’t reckon I deserve an opinion,”
You could say the same about much of the Brony community.
mumbled Applejack, blushing very red.
Pinkie nuzzled Applejack. “Look up. Up! That’s a good girl! Did you ever have a girlfriend before? I mean, before Dashie swept you off your hooves?”
Oh, now I understand why Applejack insists that she's in love with RD despite her lack of trust: ever since RD crippled her by knocking her over, she was literally the only one that would have her.
“It weren’t quite like that,” said Applejack. “Uhh... nope.” She looked up, a little. On the one hand, Pinkie was powerfully reassuring, a real comforting, cheerful presence. On the other hand, her lips were still a little glossy from Dash’s vagina, and it upset Applejack to recognize that scent on another mare’s lips and tongue.
It upsets me more that you can recognize the smell.
“Did you ever have sex before,
A question I would love to ask most fapfic writers.
or were you a virgin?”
Applejack blinked, and protested the unreasonably high taxes, “Sure I had! A little bit, anyway! I ain’t no filly!”
“But,” pressed Pinkie, “not with girls, right? And not like the way Dashie does it, right?”
Pinkie’s eyes narrowed. “Hmmm. Hmmm! Hmmm. hmmmmmmm.”
Artist's interpretation of Pinkie Pie.
“What y’all hummin’ about?” demanded Applejack, getting over some of her dismay at the familiar sight of Pinkie Pie being
Dash’s eyes widened. “Oh my gosh! You should!
I have to admit, those prices are a goddam steal...!
That is so what I wanted you to do...”
Pinkie whirled. “Shush! It’s not up to you.”
Yeah, don't make yo Aunt Pinkie smack ah bitch!
“I meant, for HER!” protested Dash. “What do you think I wanted to share?”
Pinkie’s eyes softened. “Awww, Dashie, you really are sweet on her, aren’t you?
If Cupcakes has taught me but one thing, it's that RD is totally delicious as a pastry and nobody would ever tell the difference.
We’ll see. You sit tight, Auntie Pinkie needs to talk more.”
Yeah, that's all anybody in this fic has done. When they're not fucking, they're speaking. Of course, this is obviously because we are too stupid to infer what they're feeling so the author must tell us profligate masses what they feel through incessant dialogue.
“Whut are y’all goin’ on about?” said Applejack. “She’s sweet on me? Not so’s you’d notice, I’m thinkin’!”
Before she could tear up, Pinkie was
Dash piped up, “I wanted to share YOU, Pinkie Pie!”
Now RD's a slaver? I know that business is tough and all, but goddam, I didn't think Metzger's guild would go so far down hill to hire horses to get slaves...
Pinkie Pie turned to Applejack, triumphantly. “You see? You just didn’t understand what Dashie is like. What did she tell you? She told me someone special was coming. Did she tell you anything? You came here.”
Reluctantly, Applejack answered. “She tol’ me she had a surprise. Sure wasn’t lyin’.”
“Can I tell you something?” said Pinkie.
Applejack stared at her, fearfully. “What kinda somethin’?”
“This kind! I owe you one.”
“I hope you’ll let me make it up to you for Dashie’s mean behavior.” Pinkie batted her eyelashes.
Unfortunately, she struck out, losing the game for her team.
“An that means, specifically, what?”
“I don’t own Rainbow Dash.
You know, I first read that off of my antipsychotics, and it didn't even make sense then.
Well... you can start on being even. It’ll be a lot of work! It might be worth it, though. Can I? Can I can I?”
Pinkie hopped up and down. Applejack stared at her. “Now let me get this straight. You ain’t Rainbow Dash’s girlfriend...”
“Of course not, silly!”
“But you done stuck your tongue in her like you was fixin’ to french her from the other end...”
“Oooh! You know more than I thought you knew! I like the way you put it!”
“An’ now you’re fixin’ to have sex with ME?”
Suddenly, Pinkie wasn’t bouncing. Her lip quivered. It still smelled of Dash pussy.
Again, I was totally unaware that the natural lubricant that women secrete from their vaginas have a particular scent depending on the woman. Can anybody in the audience confirm or deny this?
“If... you want to.”
“Say yes, Applejack!” whispered Rainbow Dash.
You know, that word sums up this whole fanfic. Well, that and "For fuck's sake, do something you morons!"
“Don’t force her!” scolded Pinkie. “She gets to make up her own mind! Maybe she’s not like you, did you think of that?”
“Yeah, well, like you, too!” said Dash. “How’s she going to get up to speed without help?”
Just give her a few puffs of Jet and she'll be up to speed!
Last Fallout 2 reference, I swear.
“Ah am already goin’ at a speed!”
I don't think 5 miles per hour is good enough to end this chapter anytime soon.
said Applejack. “I’m tryin’ to keep up with you, darlin’, it’s just awful hard! Please, can’t you try to understand? I don’t want to deprive you. I already watched you gittin’ busy with Fluttershy...”
Dunno why she cares so much about watching her help Fluttershy cure animals. Then again, it's not polite to help someone with their cock.
“What?” blinked Pinkie. “Really? Fluttershy?”
Dash looked smug.
Artist's interpretation of RD.
“She’s not into mares!” said Pinkie. “Believe me, I’ve tried! You’re telling me you got a taste?”
“Magic bit thingy,” explained Dash. “Remember? I showed you.”
“Oh. That. It figures,” sniffed Pinkie.
Applejack glanced back and forth between the two. “Y’all serious, ain’t you? Y’all keepin’ score-cards.”
“Sex is fun!” said Pinkie. “And you have to keep track, so you don’t hurt feelings needlessly. Like SOME ponies might have done. Are you listening, Rainbow Dash?”
Applejack blinked. “An... you don’t care about the magic bit thingy? We kinda liked it. It don’t seem interesting to you?”
Pinkie Pie scoffed. “Please! First of all, ew,
Good to see that Applejinx is fighting against such stereotypes as gay people being disgusted by the thought of heterosexual secks.
and secondly, I am insulted! If you think some boy appendage can in any way compare to the Pinkie Pie Magic, I just have nothing to say to that, other than you have no idea what you’re turning your nose up at. Which is your privilege, friends forgive friends even for being completely silly scaredy-mares...”
So, to recap, Morshu is trying to convince a Snivley to have a three-way with her and Gary Oak. Makes sense to me.
“Ask her!” whispered Dash, again. Spotting Applejack’s uncertainty, she was getting bolder.
Applejack blinked, and shook her head, staring hard at the proud pink pony. “Y’all sound pretty confident. An’ you’re talkin’ like it’s fun for you. Ya seriously just want mare parts? You wanted Fluttershy? I can tell you, Dashie weren’t lickin’ her. Not by half!”
Yeah, the looking was more by 3/8, really.
“Good. I don’t have to be too jealous. Being left out is no fun. Of course I wanted Fluttershy, you silly! Haven’t you seen how pretty she is? She’s so feminine. And straight girls are always sort of like forbidden candy. And forbidden candy is just the best most delicious candy ever! I guess neither of us ended up having her. Oh! Except for the boy parts thing. But I don’t think that really counts, because ew.”
Such strong fighting of stereotypes. I wonder if he's going to get back with his group to play more coon songs while going on about how black people love fried chicken and how all Germans are manic-depressive alcoholics?
Applejack blinked. “That’s funny. Never thunk of it like that. Me, I kinda lost my damn mind because I’d
“Did she? I mean, ew, but I love you both so much and did you get what you wanted?”
“Naw,” said Applejack. “I did her.”
Pinkie’s reaction was unexpected. Her eyes widened, her nose wrinkled, she began to stick her tongue out then stopped, and her gaze got... hungrier. Applejack stared in complete confusion for a few seconds, and then worked it out. There’d been a big penis in Rainbow Dash, where Pinkie’s tongue had been. The thought dismayed her (though not intolerably), but then Pinkie had realized that there had been no penis in Applejack... who stood before her, possibly available.
Yes, a cock had been in RD! She is impure! Burn her and find a new lover! The lesbian gawds demand it! Now go out and rant about how men are unnecessary shitheads and how you can totally procreate without their existence!
Applejack considered the eager look on her pink friend, and hesitantly tested to see if she was reading things correctly.
Perhaps I should do the same. Hell, maybe I'm just hallucinating and I'm actually reading the best story of all time. *Rereads story* Nope, it's still a boring fapfiction. Drat.
“An’ yes... weren’t no dick in me. Not for a loooong time, honey. More’s the pity. Does that help any?”
Pinkie bounced, her eyes wild and excited. “Really? Really really?”
“Geez, don’t make such a big deal out of it...” grumbled Rainbow Dash. “Does it really count if we’re all girls?”
“I guess I never thought of you in that way, Pinkie,” said Applejack. “No offense? Y’all sure didn’t give me much reason to think it. Is it okay if I ain’t... that much into lady parts?” She pointedly didn’t mention the feelings she’d had over Dash’s pert pussy.
“More for me!” said Pinkie Pie, her eyes still bright.
“An’ on the other hoof...” Applejack looked closely into Pinkie’s eyes. “Y’all thought about me in that way? Let me be real clear here. Y’all wanted to take that there tongue- and taste my marehood? Even if I’m a straight mare... what never had that done ta me before? Ever?”
Pinkie whimpered, softly.
Behind her, Rainbow Dash grinned. “Way to go, AJ!”
Shame on you, Applejack! How dare you question whether or not to have sex with a close friend of yours, possibly making your relationship incredibly fucking awkward!? Cunt.
“Y’all quiet down, Dashie!”
Dash blew a kiss.
“I’m jes’ tryin’ to figure out how ragin’ gay this-all is!”
Lessee, it's slightly gayer than blowing another guy but far below having a huge 11-way orgy. My gaydar has pretty much stopped working do to all of the MLP fapfics, though.
“Try her, try her. I wanted to show you- and look at her!”
Pinkie Pie was, indeed, in a pitable state. Her eyes pleaded, and Applejack realized that she’d led her friend on most cruelly,
Yes, because it's so cruel to think about whether or not fucking your friend is really what you want to do. It makes you wonder about Applejinx's love life...
if she was going to change her mind. And... she wasn’t sure she was going to. It turned out that even with another mare, having someone staring at you like you were the best candy ever was gratifying. Applejack shifted from one hoof to another, feeling twinges of interest. Pinkie seemed to pick up on every last twinge.
“Dammit, Dashie, what the hay do I do?”
Dash rubbed her hooves together. “Come here. Lay down, like me.”
Applejack stepped over, glancing sidelong at Pinkie, who followed with tiny bounces and hops, as if too excited to walk normally.
See how she's walking? That's how pros walk, man.
“That so? On my back, like that?”
“What she gonna do, Dashie? This is mighty strange...”
“You’ll see. What I’m going to do is cuddle you, and watch. Unless I have to get out of the way.”
“What for?” said Applejack. “Get outta the way of what now?”
“Kicking and thrashing and screaming,” explained Rainbow Dash.
Are they going to make her read this all the way through in one sitting without any breaks?
“Ya got to be kiddin’ me,” said Applejack nervously.
Dash smirked. “I might not want to get out of the way. I can’t think of anything more romantic than holding you while you thrash and lose your pony mind.
I never will understand why the have the whole pony mind thi- Oh my god.
You have no idea... but you’ll learn.”
Equestria is full of otherkin-obsessed freaks. I'm seeing MLP: FiM in a whole new light, and I really would prefer darkness at this point.
Applejack felt Pinkie’s head gently nudging her legs a bit farther apart, and gulped.
Pinkie took deep breaths, her eyes wide as she nuzzled closer and closer to her Grail-
I'm sorry, Pinkie, but the Holy Grail is being held by a bunch of French faggots at the Castle ARRRRRGH. Still, if you want to waste your time searching your friend's vagina, be my guest...
not simply a straight mare pussy, but one long neglected by pleasure of any sort, and to top it off, a dear friend who’d always exerted a special fascination. It was one thing to long to explore Fluttershy’s intimate places, but Applejack had been off limits simply because Pinkie had no desire to take a hoof upside the head.
Now, suddenly, the country pony had turned out all fillyfooler with Rainbow Dash- admittedly, if anybody could work that trick, it was the passionate pegasus- and was not only daring to try girls, but was beside herself in
It was time, thought Pinkie Pie, that she learned what good sex was all about. She nuzzled Applejack's crotch lovingly, unhurriedly, bringing a gentle hoof up to massage the country pony's mound,
A kind gesture, though I question why massaging her ant hill would be part of sex.
sniffing at Applejack's tidy nipples- having a pony on her back was an unnatural position, and AJ was anxious and uncertain because of it, but it sure gave you access to all the mare parts at once.
Pinkie watched with yearning and a sort of pride as, thanks to her tender kneading, Applejack's clitoral hood began to swell and jut forth. Up higher on the bed, Applejack only had eyes for Rainbow Dash, who kissed and nuzzled her with fervor, but possibly also to distract.
You do that, Dashie, thought Pinkie Pie. You loosen her up, get her comfortable. Not the first time we've teamed up, either, is it?
Good god, they're grooming her to be a sex slave! They really are slavers!
But knowing you, you greedy thing, this may be the first time this beautiful mare has been pleasured the proper way...
It would be a privilege- and that would be a pleasure of its own.
Applejack's body jolted, and her hooves curled, as Pinkie's nose touched the crest of her vag, now standing out boldly. In the usual way of things, in the on-four-hooves-being-mounted way of things, this way of the equine body had practical significance.
Wait, what? Why the sudden tangent over how the biology of horses aids in their mating?
The jutting underside of the vagina was both signal to the stallion, and a sort of dock to receive the wayward penis.
Throw a party and kill the fattened calf, the wayward penis has arrived!
Sprawled lewdly on a bed with legs in the air was different- different enough that Applejack's heart pounded in an ultimately futile attempt to escape, though some of that was the sheer drama of not knowing
I don't know, you're the fucking narrator!
Applejack gulped, feeling a special sort of twitch down there. The attention had her wanting to squirm, and her body had figured out what was happening. She’d winked- her pussy had winked open at Pinkie, and the response was immediate. “THERE it is!” crooned the pink pony,
Jesus Christ, I've heard less crooning in an opera house!
The delicate nuzzling of her clitoris continued, and another hot breath favored her intimate parts- and Applejack felt herself wink again, harder, and drew a shuddery breath-
Well, yeah, it's kind of hard to draw with only your mouth. How else would a drawing of what is already a fairly abstract thing to draw that was drawn with a mouth be anything but shuddery?
one that would be released in an equally shuddery sigh, but Rainbow Dash’s mouth devoured the sigh, her wings arching upward flamboyantly, her eyes ruby fires.
“Look at ME,” commanded Dash, and Applejack melted helplessly against the bed, legs falling wider, her pussy winking madly
Great, now her cat might have a mental disorder. Actually, severe mental illness would explain a lot of these characters' actions thus far.
and going wet at the sudden stallionlike fierceness Dash presented. How could she possibly be this good? Applejack’s wildest dreams hadn’t been nearly as exciting. And yet, Dash wasn’t grabbing for the magic bit- she commanded all of Applejack’s attention, but a stray thought said, down there, by your mare-ly nipples and over your tail, something is still going to happen, and it ain’t Dashie’s magical dick...
Firm wetness caught Applejack mid-wink, and licked up the inside of her labia, not at all tentatively. She gasped, and cried out against Rainbow Dash’s aggressively kissing mouth, which only seemed to inflame Dash further,
So now Applejack is a pyromancer? Because that... is actually pretty fuckin' rad. Hell, this story should be about Applejack discovering her latent pyromantic powers and how she uses them. Boom, I've come up with a better story in five seconds than Applejinx did in... well, that'd be implying that this truly gains a story.
while the tongue- which seemed to be formed into a firm point- continued to explore the slick, expectant flesh, outlining the shapes and contours, working the edges, pressing hungrily where Applejack’s inner walls led deeper into a fevered sanctum that had not seen visitors for years.
Yes, a whole race of people used to live in Applejack's vagina. One day she douched, so they all had to evacuate. And now one of their temples is being licked by RD. Good to see so much respect towards that culture.
Applejack could feel the bulk of Pinkie’s tongue against her, and still struggled to look down between her legs and see what was happening, but all of a sudden, Dash had her face in her hooves and again commanded, “Look at ME”, her eyes dancing- and Dash’s tail flicked, as if for some prearranged signal between two young mares who’d worked together before.
Applejack couldn’t resist the command,
Looks like the conditioning is working, then.
and her eyes were wide quivering pools of fillyish gaze rimmed with emerald- as Pinkie made her move.
Her tongue elongated, pointed, shoved- squeezing into Applejack’s slickened and expectant vagina with the urgency of a stallion-thrust, but it was like no stallion-thrust she had ever taken. The size was about right, but it was so squirmy and limp, and Applejack clenched onto it, eyes pouring shock and amazement into Dash’s amused gaze- and then,
Yep, her tongue worshipped Nyarlathotep. It actually performed a rite to call him to Equestria.
The first thing Applejack noticed was a tensing of the wriggly mass in her, which already was a shock and a far cry from the male experience- but the thing that made her wail was completely unexpected. The end of the tongue had curled up and licked her- inside.
The tongue ceased its mind-mangling writhings instantly, and Applejack panted, gazing up into Dash’s eyes.
“Hey,” said Dash, “are you okay? It’s s’posed to be good. You don’t look too good.”
Applejack caught her breath. Her heart was pounding alarmingly.
“Do you need her to stop? We can if you-”
“No!” gasped Applejack, and blushed a vivid red.
Rainbow Dash began to smirk. “I see! Maybe we’re just driving you too hard? You might not have experienced anything like it. There’s a reason we crave this, y’know. You looked kind of panicky. Do you need anything taken down a notch? We don’t want to hurt you... at least, not the first time!”
Applejack didn’t pick up on the implication.
Oh, how I envy her!
Her lip quivered as she asked, “If I get ta choose... can it be... a lil’ bit less weird? Somehow?”
You're in a futanari fetish fapfic involving My Little Pony. I don't think it can get any more normal.
Dash nodded. “Of course... best girl. As requested! Pinkie- do Mode Such A Waste.”
Oh, is it the one where they forsake any potential writing talent and write a sub-par fapfiction that they jealously defend as being intelligent and worth reading?
“Mm-hmm!” came Pinkie’s voice, from between Applejack’s legs.
What do you know, even the characters agree!
“You don’t mind?” said Dash. “It might help.”
“Nn-nmm! ‘appy ‘ussy ‘aste ‘ettur!”
I'm no expert, but I think that's Latin for "I'll rape your time cat."
Dash laughed. “I love you, Pinkie! You can show off some other time.” She turned back to Applejack, her eyes twinkling and affectionate. “You’ll probably find this a little more familiar.”
Between Applejack’s legs, the tongue withdrew, slurping out of her, and before she could react to that, it was back, prodding at her vagina’s opening, but different.
“We love you, Applejack,” said Dash, “and she can give you what you want, too...”
Oh my, they're part of some creepy sex church! Run before they indoctrinate you in their free-love hippy shit!
That bulk prodded harder, and then with firm pressure it was parting her, sliding in, and this time it wasn’t doing crazy wriggly things. It was thick, solid, its muscle tensed, and it thrust deeper and deeper into Applejack’s quivering pussy, seemingly without limit.
“Uhhh!” moaned Applejack, melting against the bed.
Godammit, who dumped water on her? Was it you, Lyra? I bet it was.
“Hey, Pinkie,” smirked Rainbow Dash, “I think she likes it!”
Applejack moaned again, as the tongue pushed deeper, coming to rest against her cervix with an unexpectedly solid shove- a sensation that set her off, so that rather than a squirming wriggling tongue, it became a squirming wriggling mare around a very rigid shaft. Applejack clenched against the bulk of it, and it didn’t matter- it stayed firm, even hard, and the only reaction was a croon of delight from Pinkie.
Rainbow Dash watched, entranced, as Pinkie’s head moved tenderly back and forth, out-thrust tongue penetrating Applejack sweetly as the country mare melted around it.
The sad thing is that melting is a legitimate fetish. Weep for the human race, now.
At the deepest point, Applejack could feel Pinkie’s mouth over her clitoris, feel the hot breath against her.
No thanks, it smells like cotton candy and hotsauce.
She began to moan again, her gaze growing unfocused as the
She surrendered herself by means of messenger monkey? A for creativity, with points taken off for being in this story.
Rainbow Dash’s ear flicked as she considered things. She hadn’t really thought of the magic bit as something for her, more as something to be used on her- and which she was more than capable of using in turn, if pressed. But gazing on her best girl in the throes of lovemaking, seeing her gradually give way to quivering, melting mare-ishness, caused strange stirrings in Dash’s heart
And this is why you never eat anything from Taco Belle before sex, children.
and brought up the longing to seize that beautiful body, work her will upon it, be the direct cause of that melting and those quavery, feminine cries nobody’d ever heard from the tough country pony.
More moans and croons filled the air, and a mischevious look crossed the very familiar territory of Rainbow Dash’s little face. And, un-noticed by the increasingly sex-drunk Applejack, Dash drew back and quietly disappeared from view.
Applejack writhed sensually, given over to her fantasies of stallions with strangely slippery cocks,
Well folks, there you have it: this sex is so boring, she's actually fantasizing about fucking someone else.
when something new began to happen.
They finally made a Pokemon game where you can actually exploit your status as champion?
Pinkie was making a noise. It was a sort of keening sound. It blended with Applejack’s lust,
Yeah, I was just thinking "The only way this scene could be fruitier is if they made some weird cocktail." Well, they did it. I don't think I'll ever read a fruitier fanfiction. Well, at least until I finally bite it and go to hell, but that's a long time from now.
and seemed to perfectly express the feeling as that rigid tongue thrust into her again and again.
Ah, so the blend was terribly bland. Oh well, that's the great danger of experimenting.
Then, Pinkie shoved forward unexpectedly, and the tongue thrust deep and rammed against Applejack’s cervix, and Applejack began to come,
Life... dreams... hope... Applejack... Where do they come to? Where do they go? Gaah, such a stupid fanfiction! Destroy destroy DESTROY! LET'S DESTROY APPLEJINX!
crying out sweetly and convulsing around the pretend cock. The effect this had was startling. Pinkie’s keening became a squeal, suddenly, like beams of sound
SOUND. DOESN'T. GO. IN. WAVES!
and vibration shooting through Applejack’s excited clitoris, and Applejack began to buck apples on the bed,
Applejack really needs to learn to keep pleasure and work separate.
her cries turning to lusty screams of release.
It seemed to inflame Pinkie worse-
I was unaware lesbians could give each other genital herpes. The more you know~
she seemed to be struggling, her body twisting, and then her squeals became screams as well, and the tongue that had been imitating a penis abruptly lost all control and began to writhe and contort inside Applejack’s pussy even while she came.
That's it, I'll just say all of these characters came to Goodsprings to hide out from this story.
Okay, RD and Pinkie Pie were also killed in the explosion and they held a big funeral service and there was much rejoicing THE END.
eyes rolling back in her head, blowing her voice out in one sustained shriek. For a long moment, she dangled breathless over the chasm, and then
Well, there are no males involved, so at least it can't be said that a mayonnaise factory may as well have exploded.
with a tongue writhing like a snake in her depths.
The tongue tugged out, to a thumping sound. Pinkie Pie had collapsed.
Yeah, Jet sure has a brutal hangover, doesn't it?
Applejack fought her way back from the white-out orgasmic madness, feeling like a chew-toy, trying to lift her head and see what the hell had happened. Before she could, Rainbow Dash rose into view again, smirking dreadfully, parted her lips, and kissed Applejack passionately.
GAAH, THE TENSE SHIFT! Nihilistic One collapsed, and he is thinking of killing himself to avoid having to read more of this story.
Applejack’s eyes widened. The taste of Pinkie Pie’s orgasmic juices was delicious, really, even when they were only coating Dashie’s tongue. And chin...
Past Dash’s ecstatic face, Applejack could see Pinkie getting to her hooves again. She was shaking and wobbling so badly that she didn’t make it the first time- Princess Zelda fell on her butt, and had to struggle back up all over again. She was a sight, more unkempt than Applejack had ever seen her, a mass of curly mane with a dazed look- which grew faintly concerned.
What a kind mane!
“Dashie, you wicked thing,” said Pinkie, “you made me
“Uh-huh,” replied Dash, and returned to kissing Applejack, who lay stunned.
Sadly, she finally succumbed to her Parkinson's Disease.
Her body felt like a big purring jelly, and Pinkie’s flavor sure was strange though nice. She’d never tasted pussy before,
If you ever did eat a cat, we would have serious problems.
or kissed a mare, and now she was doing both, with two different ponies, at the same time. Applejack blinked, trying to wrap her head around that one.
Unfortunately, her neck simply wasn't flexible enough, and she was forced to see a chiropractor for the awful crick she developed in her neck.
“Are you okay?” said Pinkie. “You look a little dizzy. Naughty Dashie did something to me that made me go kind of crazy with you
She replaced your antipsychotics with sugar pills again?
that I’ll tell you late... oh my gosh, Dashie, you didn’t? You are! I’m sorry, Applejack, I would have warned you if I could! I kind of fainted!”
RAINBOW DASH used EAT OUT! A critical hit! It's super effective! PINKIE PIE fainted...
Applejack licked her lips- or, rather, licked Pinkie’s juices from her lips. Her expression was of dazedness and perplexity,
I won't pretend to be a cunning linguist or anything, but I'm fairly sure at least one of those words was made up.
and her ears were back.
I knew Applejack would get pissed off by this.
“You did like it?” said Dash. “Uh, I guess I might have gotten a little bit carried away...”
"Bitch, please." - Princess Peach.
“It was a privilege,” said Pinkie Pie, “the most wonderful thing, and I am so sorry if Dashie messed everything up
Godammit Dashie, you had one fucking job and you still blew it!
but you were so special and exciting even if I can only get to do it once...”
“What do you mean, once? Look at her! AJ’s a puddle, she had to have loved it!”
I would say that nobody would enjoy being hit with a plasma rifle, but I suppose that could be a fetish...
“I am looking, Rainbow Dash, and I think you took things too far!”
“Yeah, well, as soon as she can talk she’ll compliment you and say you were the best thing ever! I had to give her the full Pinkie experience,
You gave retarded fans that believe her to be funny and clever even though she is actually annoying, in addition to writing numerous fanfics where she is an insane murderer? I would think that would be the world's biggest turn-off.
“Just because you are a very jaded mare doesn’t mean...”
“She’s tough!” said Dash. “Give me a break!”
“She’s sensitive,” replied Pinkie, “and you should respect that! You shouldn’t have driven me to that, I owe her an apology for squealing on it, even if it does make you explode...”
Applejack stared at this conversation with wide, unguarded eyes,
Shit, guard your eyes before-
Welp, you're fucked.
and her heart went out.
At this point, every character is like an extra-concentrated zombie or something.
On the one hand, her fierce little lover, capable of taking her savagely even through the body of an entirely separate mare. On the other,She had no hands
her dear friend who’d reduced her to a quivering puddle sexually and was now concerned for her well-being and happiness.
Hey, they don't want to have to fuck your corpse in the future, now do they?
Applejack loved them both at that moment, completely.
“Well,” said Dash, “you have to admit, you gave her the full treatment even if I forced you into it. She had to have loved it!”
“No, she might not have. She’s like a straight girl. Best candy ever, but that doesn’t mean she liked it.
Please, everybody knows that girls love being forced to have sex! Damn, what kind of world are you living on, Pinkie?
I’m not sure you understand these things, Rainbow Dash, I’m really worried that we’ve upset her...”
“Well, you know what to do? We ask!”
Asking someone how they feel? 'Tis unheard of! Don't do it; we know not what shall happen!
said Dash, and they turned to Applejack- and fell silent, for the country mare’s expression was so hard to interpret. Longing, maybe a little tearful, happy but overwhelmed- they realized they really didn’t know the answer.
“It was such a privilege- thank you so much for letting me...” said Pinkie.
“It was great! Right? Applejack?”
“Don’t mind Dashie, you know how she is, and I just have to say thank you again...”
Dash stared at Applejack’s quivering lip. “AJ... come on, don’t you have anything to say to her?”
Applejack drew an unsteady breath.
Applejack really needs to learn how to draw better.
She still felt limp as a rag.
You could say the same about my penis after reading that sex scene.
She gave a little smile- first to Dash, and then even more, to Pinkie.
“And you… call yourself... a vegetarian!”
HAHAHAHA what the fuck? Is it implying that... holy shit, she's a cannibal and this was just very poorly-written guro all along!
Pinkie’s laugh chimed out, and all was well again.
Dramatic reenactment of the end of this chapter.
Welp, another chapter pinched out. Next chapter done on Wednesday provided I don't get fucked by technology. If you want to, please comment
This post has been edited by Nihilistic One: Jun 2 2012, 07:29 AM
Audino if I can put up with your shit
Joined: 29-March 12
Member No.: 626
Jun 16 2012, 07:09 AM
Sorry for it taking like two weeks for this mock. Fortunately, I'm not taking summer courses in college, so I'll be able to mock much faster... after my vacation to Disneyland Tokyo, that is. But I'm just rambling. Enjoy... no, this website is populated by sane people... try to survive this chapter, 'mkay?
Chapter 3: Turnabout is Fair Play.
“Are you sure? Like, really really sure?
Well, now that I think of it, perhaps I should be packing up, not reading this. But I made a commitment, so I must continue.
I promise to not fly out from under you this time if you want...”
I would make a mile-high club joke, but I have more integrity than that. Oh, what the hell am I saying, 2 out of 3 of my mocked works contain futa, with the other having paedophilia! The lesson here is that I'm a huge faggot for pretending to have standardss.
“Ah’m sure, my love. Do I have ta beg to appear in a less-depraved story that isn't made to cater to some weird fetish? I don’t mind. I’ll beg ya, sugar, if I must...”
Applejack’s bedroom was cozy and warm, and getting hotter by the second as she
“Ooh, I think I like that!” said Dash. “Yeah, beg me! I promise to do your taxes if you beg and plead and cry.”
“Now jes’ a minute, my love. You already done promised! You swore you’d take care of me if I did you first. I was good to my word.”
“You were more than good, Applejack,” smiled Rainbow Dash. “I want more. I want you to ruin me again.”
What, you want her to force you into bankruptcy again due to a misplaced decimal point? I never will understand how that mind of yours works...
“You liked it, I could tell by how you moved.”
If someone moves to another town after you have sex with them, that's probably a bad sign.
Applejack glared at her lover and she glanced at Rainbow Dash also. “Well... yeah. Y’all gave me quite a treat, never felt the like. Wore me out, too. But darlin’, you promised! I want to be your mare. It’s a fantasy. Never tole you that one, all these years. You can’t be humpin’ Fluttershy like some dog and then refuse me, it just ain’t fair!”
It ain't fair that I wound up mocking another futa story on accident, but do you hear me bitching? Because what you're whining about is the ultimate in first-world problems.
Rainbow Dash spotted the glint of tears in Applejack’s eyes, and gulped. “I didn’t mean... Applejack, I wasn’t going to hurt you! I’m just teasing you, you understand teasing, right? We’ve run together, got in fights, robbed banks, murdered people, I thought I could be joking around with you! What’s this?”
“I want to be your mare,”
I have to admit, Metzger's new slave conditioning program is working like a charm.
said Applejack earnestly. “Always did, even when it weren’t possible. Now that it is, please don’t y’all refuse me?
Well, since you said please, I refuse you on behalf of all of the members of Project A.F.T.E.R.
I give myself to you, like you done to me.”
Rainbow Dash looked at her, and the country pony’s eyes were wide and defenseless,
Between her horrific mutation that made her look like a horse and her tendency to leave her eyes defenseless, it's no wonder the pack of deathclaws she was born into kicked her out.
and her lip quivered slightly. It was a change from the toughness and edge that had always aroused Dash, a change that hadn’t been so much as hinted at while Applejack had worked a thick magical cock in her ecstatic body and incredibly mortified mind... or perhaps it had, in the tender way Applejack’s forelegs had held her while the powerful hindquarters did their irresistible work.
I have to admit, her ass can cook a mean alfredo pasta...
“You’re freaking me out, Boss. Since when did you turn girly on me?”
Applejack didn’t even blink.
Man, these characters' actions are doing their best to prove that they're all suffering from some mental disorder...
“Since I got a stallion of my own- an’ that stallion is you. Please let me give myself to you? Y’all want me to cry, well, you jes’ keep arguing with me.”
Sounds like the average Brony to me. Minus the part where they accuse you of not wanting you to cry and secretly loving them, of course.
“I don’t! I really don’t.” Dash sighed. “Oh, Applejack. Now I don’t know what to expect.
You could always try the Futa Inquisition. I certainly didn't expect it...
Am I supposed to be all gentle and romantic? I love you, but that’s gonna be weird for me.”
Applejack’s eyes twinkled.
“Fuck no. I’m your mare. I do the meltin’, sugar. Your job is to put your back into it.
Applejack has actually befriended a dragon and is trying to trick RD into bathing in jelly to make her a more appealing meal. Can't say I blame her, what with the whole "conditioned to be a sex slave" thing.
Y’all think I’m a delicate flower? I like to kilt you and
Dash perked up. “No delicate flower? No soppy romance stuff?”
“Dee-molish me, my love. I reckon I kin stand it-
The point of demolishing a building it to knock it down. I don't think you'll be standing it. And may I add, demolish is the worst metaphor for sex in the history of metaphors for sex. It sounds like some weird form of bloodyplay.
if,” and Applejack scowled, “Fluttershy kin.”
D'awww, she's expecting? When is she d- OH FUCK, NOT MARE'S MILK! OH GOD HOTSAUCE FLASHBACKS!
“You’re still jealous of that?”
No, I do not feel jealous of anybody who's read that story.
“Heal me of it. You know how.
Does it involve hallucinogenic drugs? Or, failing at that, a shitload of pinball with the score written by The Who? Because that's the only way this could be pleasant to read.
Besides... mine’s better.”
“And how would you know that?” said Rainbow Dash. “You do her when I wasn’t looking?”
“No, no! I promise I didn’t! I would never! I am just sure, that’s all. I’m better.
So you claim to have never fucked someone/watch them fuck but you know that you're better than them? I know Applejack is a bit stubborn in the show, but I don't recall her being that egomaniacal.
An’ I love you more.”
“That’s not really how we do this, you know,” said Dash.
I have to admit, she's right. I don't think people are supposed to masturbate to people talking about their relationship issues.
“This is something to share. It’s not about being better than somepony.
The Tao of Rainbow Dash.
I realize that sounds weird coming from me, but it’s not.
So it sounds stupid that an egomaniac is telling someone that it's not about being better, but it isn't because it's not. Sounds like solid reasoning to me.
Didn’t you learn anything from Pinkie?”
Applejack: Yes boss, I learned enough from her what happens when you blab to the fuzz about the Family's dealings.
“I learned quite enough! Now let me love you, okay? Let me show you how it’s done. Take me, darlin’.”
“You’re being so serious about it. Can’t we have fun with it?”
Applejack gulped. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean ta be a worry. I wish I could explain this to y’all better...”
So does Applejinx, because all I see is idiotic melodrama that's trying to sound intelligent.
Dash circled again, but rather than presenting Applejack with cute pegasus vag, this time her attention was on the other mare.
Yes, Lyra does tend to steal the show a bit. What of her?
Applejack didn’t try to pivot out of the way. She stood, looking back at Rainbow Dash with tragic, imploring eyes as the cerulean mare checked her out of the library after like three weeks of being in some lazy asshole's place who couldn't even be arsed to take her back within two weeks.
Applejack’s tail end provided all the explanation Dash could have asked for.
Fucking tails are always the first ones to squeal. They have no honour; they can't be trusted to keep Omerta. There's a reason they wind up on the floor with their thumbs broken, you know.
The country pony was in a desperate state, though her pride still prevented her from grovelling and pleading as much as her condition would justify. Applejack’s pussy jutted boldly, clit painfully engorged, her contours scandalous,
Yeah, her contours were seen fucking an intern! Her bloody contours have no sense of dignity. I certainly didn't vote for him.
labia swollen. Lubrication dripped sedately to the floor, seemingly without hurry-
Gee, I wonder why. Maybe it's because vaginal lubricant has no mind and thus no motivation to move faster.
but Rainbow Dash knew what it felt like to be oozing that hard, and was impressed Applejack was able to talk coherently. Back at flight school when Dash had been that aroused, all she could do was emit guttural shrieks; she’d been far beyond the considerate pleading Applejack was doing.
Rainbow Dash’s heart went out to her proud lover- but a lesson still needed to be learned, and teaching it would be fun in its own way. Applejack had been a wonderful stallion, and had let Dash be a joyous mare, but even so, Boss didn’t fully understand the stallioning thing.
She’d learn, though- and turnabout would be delicious.
Meh, given what you're doing, it wouldn't taste as good. Generally, turnabout and vengeance are chilled first.
“You don’t need to explain-
Tell that to Applejinx, if you would. He hasn't gotten the memo yet.
let’s do it,” said Dash. “Ready?”
No, you need to talk more about emotional issues and BAAAW over how one of you thinks that the other doesn't love her!
“Darling!” was Applejack’s only reply, as she closed her eyes, and bit her lip.
That lasted for about three seconds, as Rainbow Dash’s head dipped lower- and Applejack’s eyes flew open and got out of this story for the sake of their collective sanities, for Dash’s tongue slurped up her excess juices and wrapped lovingly around her engorged clitoris.
Oh shit, you'd better hope the tongue doesn't wrap around you. I'm beginning to think that Rainbow Dash is actually King Minos and she's trying to pick which circle Applejack should go to.
“Gah! Dashie! Y’all quit teasin’!”
Dash didn’t respond, except with mmm-ing noises. Her lips suckled Applejack’s jutting clit, and her tongue teased and pressed.
Applejack panted, and began to swing her hindquarters around with a “See here, missy...”
Must be some exotic species of plant.
Rainbow Dash’s hoof thumped her flank, hard, and from behind her came a very authoritative command- “Hold still.”
Applejack instinctively obeyed, not sure why,
Have you already forgotten the conditioning? You know, the lesbian three-way with Gary Oak and Morshu? Goddam, one would think that you would never forget that...
freezing in place at the command, but she twisted her head around to look back at Dash.
Artist's interpretation of Applejack.
“Y.. y’all need to grab that there bit thing and...”
“I said hold still! Head front, Applejack.”
“An’ just what’s that supposed ta mean, pony girl?”
That got a reaction.
Unfortunately, the chemical reaction created carbon monoxide that killed both of them THE END!
Dash’s head came into view, her chin and lips glistening, but her eyes glittering with a fierceness that took Applejack’s breath away. “I’m not your pony girl.”
Yeah, I think she's my pony! Wait, how large is she again?
“I am your stallion. Face front, and hold still!”
Applejack’s eyes went very wide, and her legs quivered as another, greater wave of arousal washed through her along with the rest of Japan, killing a lot of people and causing a shitload of property damage. She whipped her head back around, staring forward at the wall of her room, her pelvis a cauldron of frantic equine flesh begging for penetration to the hilt, and she waited, and listened for the telltale sound of a hoof flipping the magic bit up to Dash’s mouth, and the faint sound of teeth clamping steel.
What she got was a slight pause- and then, Rainbow Dash’s lips wrapping around her throbbing clit again, resuming that maddening suckling, wet noises echoing off the walls.
Applejack stood it for more than a few seconds, her heart whamming in her chest, and then began to twist her head, eyes craning sidelong to look back at Dash, mouth opening to voice a protest...
"Your mother sucks cocks in hell!" screamed Applejack as a Sharp pain jolted her. Dashie had bit her ass. Nipped, really.
Damn, a lot of hating on donkeys here. Why would she just go up and bite her donkey? Not cool, RD. Not cool.
Applejack’s head whipped forward again, but her eyes stayed hard
I thought those eyes escaped! Well, it goes to show that her eyes are huge faggots for being aroused by this.
to the side, wide and panicked.
Hot breath hit her,
Even CO2 turns against you, Applejack. How does it feel?
right where Dash had bit her.
“Eyes front, too,” said her lover, in a tone that did not permit disagreement.
Applejack’s eyes snapped forward. She heaved great quavering breaths off of a cliff as a form of vengeance towards their whole kind for her getting hit by one, and the air felt electric around her.
Oh great, Rainbow Dash's ability is Static. I hope you brought Paralyze Heal...
Every little sound echoed in her head. Applejack didn’t at first understand why Dash had done this- or why she had suddenly gone so submissive and mare-ish, even though she’d been insisting that Dash turn stallion for her. It had been so long since she’d been mounted that she’d forgotten what it could feel like.
Actually, this story references how Applejack had sex with some other faggot before, but it doesn't tell you who. Granted, it would probably also be dull and make me want to throw up, but at least it would fucking explain something. Well, unless Applejack is actually Applejinx's author avatar and is mimicking how he has deluded himself into thinking that he knows how sex works.
Now, she stood trembling, staring straight ahead, waiting for Dash to begin suckling on her clit again.
When she heard a faint scraping noise, the
Am I the only one disturbed by references to winking? Because mares actually do that when in heat or while mating, but that makes this all the creepier. I know I"m always calling for biological accuracy, but this is just disturbing.
and exuding a fresh wave of juices for Dash’s pleasure, and all the argumentativeness went out of her at once. Her vision became a tunnel aimed at the simple wooden boards of her wall, and behind her, she felt the breath from Dash’s nose against her own tunnel, the one that churned with anxious, greedy expectancy. She could’ve screamed with anticipation.
As Rainbow Dash’s weight came down on her hindquarters, she did scream- a desperate neigh of unbearable desire, delivered at the wall, for Applejack’s face and eyes were directed forward, as her stallion had demanded.
“...’ats a GOOD girl.” came Dash’s little scratchy voice- but her forelegs clung tight and hungrily, and Applejack could feel Dash’s body adjusting, her hoof shifting on the floor with a clomp.
“R’dy ‘r not...”
I don't blame her for trying to summon Cthulhu at this point. Honestly, I think that I'd prefer to be devoured after reading this. Though she appears to be mispronouncing the chant...
Pegasus penis dead-centered Applejack’s equine vagina.
I can't be the only one who thinks this should be the name of a progessive sludge symphonic stoner metal band song, can I?
Dash’s aim was so adept that she hadn’t needed to prod or test.
Well, at least she didn't completely miss for two bloody paragraphs like Applejack.
The dark blue stallion cock hit Applejack right where she dripped and ached,
Why is she shoving her dick into a leaky pipe that Applejack hasn't bothered fixing yet?
and it squeezed into her and plunged deeper, wedging her slickened entrance as it went, until it thumped her insides roughly.
“AH!” shrieked Applejack, and she felt as if the top of her head was coming off- before her
Rainbow Dash’s foreleg stroked her belly.
“Th’ts hw it’s done, baby... now d’nt fall down, ‘k? I love you...”
Applejack reeled in a particularly large mackerel, as Dash got to work firing up the oven and getting the spices out of the pantry. She’d seen the Dashie cock, fresh from Fluttershy’s private places-
Yeah, RD's pet chicken was hiding in Fluttershy's private coop. A bit dickish of her to allow that, but it didn't hurt anyone, I suppose.
how could it feel this big, this hard?
Fanfiction logic does that to you after a while.
It had looked good, but not this good- Applejack gritted her teeth, squealing as rock-hard pegasus tugged and thrust within her, and the orgasms wouldn’t quit, they piled on top of each other, they wouldn’t come in regular waves but battered her as if she was just a filly caught in a stallion storm. Rainbow felt like a storm. Her motions weren’t tender, they were voracious and savage, even though they didn’t jab to her depths the way the first thrust had.
Dash’s hoof kicked at hers, forcing her legs farther apart, and Applejack staggered into a new position, more obscene, like a filthy legs-splayed crouch. Dash hunched over her, thrusting deeply and settling her body farther back atop Applejack’s, who didn’t at first understand why the awkward position was desired.
It became clear very quickly: she was in a shitty fap-fic. She resolved to escape as soon as possible.
Rainbow Dash contorted her whole body and managed to
That actually sounds like part of a galaxy name in Super Mario Galaxy. The Hard Hot Galaxy. It could be a mostly magma world involving extensive use of Rock Mario. Oh, sorry, I was thinking of something pleasant.
solidness plunging into her. It withdrew once more, and again shoved hungrily into her- an impossible sensation, far bolder than simple thrusting, allowing her molten mare pussy
Well, I stand corrected. This is the most unerotic description for anything ever. I mean, I certainly find the imagery of putting my penis into a pit of molten rock shaped like a horse's cunt impossible to fap to.
to flow into one mass of erotic expectancy and then transfixing it with stallion shaft in a single bold plunge.
Applejack began to scream hysterical cries of "abandon story!", her eyes rolling back in her head, swaying as Dash ravaged her marehood.
“D’nt fall down!” commanded Dash, sounding breathless herself. The pegasus legs tightened around Applejack’s body while the manticore legs started choking her out, and Dash shifted forward as if readying herself for the final battle-
Cute, but I don't think Ganondorf will be impressed with your ability to grow a dick. You should have sprung for the offer to get the Master Sword, Rainbow Dash.
I'll just cut this off for now. Will Rainbow Dash get into her epic final battle? Will Applejack start acting all emo? Will Nihilistic One bother updating in time? Tune in later tonight/tomorrow morning to get the answers to all of these and more!
This post has been edited by Nihilistic One: Jun 16 2012, 07:13 AM
Audino if I can put up with your shit
Joined: 29-March 12
Member No.: 626
Jun 17 2012, 08:48 AM
Last time, I abruptly stopped mid-sentence when RD was about to set out on an epic battle! Let's see what happens!
except the only battle was her fierce determination to completely wreck Applejack’s sturdy country-pony body with orgasms,
... I feel lied to.
through pure, raw, stallionish fucking.
The magical hard-on slid deeply into Applejack again, and this time it didn’t tug out all the way. Rainbow Dash shifted her hips, still with her cock crammed totally into her lover’s body,
Applejack has a strange chicken fetish. Rainbow Dash didn't question it; she decided to just shove a chicken inside of her and pray for forgiveness.
and rocked both of them hard to the left. Before Applejack knew what was happening, Dash’s rear hoof hooked around and drew hers in- then, a sway to the right, and suddenly Applejack found herself with hooves set close together, squeezing the hardness of Rainbow Dash’s shaft grimly like a filly’s first time,
When the fuck did Hotsauce take over for Applejinx? Because his assistance was not required to make this any more vile.
and Dash was hunched over her,
Now you are her precious. You are her birthday present, you are hers, you belong to her, you're
sweating and holding her real tight as the magical cock throbbed from its wedged-in position.
Then, Dash unleashed her final stunt- and began to
Her body was hot as a furnace over Applejack,
What is Applejinx's fetish for adding the pony- prefix to everything? I know that I've said this before, but if you reference a horse's vagina, the vagina is probably that of a horse, not a dog. I think that Applejinx needs to give the readers more credit. Then again, he's writing for Bronies, so you never know...
insides, in a position where she couldn’t possibly escape it as it seemed to explode with more and more stiffness and wildness, and the air around them was whipped by Dash’s madly flapping wings...
Applejack blew her voice out with a soprano squeal,
Strange, I always imagined her as more of a baritone.
her eyes rolling back in her head as she bucked underneath the fiercely clinging, thrusting Dash, whose mane flew about madly, sweat flying off it as the cerulean pegasus snarled and spasmed, eyes squeezed shut as she
"Hey, Barry, where do I put this orgasm?"
"Oh, just put it anywhere, Sid."
"Okay then. *puts it in Applejack's body* How's that, boss?"
"*laughs* Oh Sid, you're the worst! Come here you big lug!"
penetrating every inch of her with a final, brutal shove.
Too much violent imagery here. I'm getting a feeling that this is the part that's supposed to appeal to rape fetishists.
Actually, in the sequel (yes, there's a sequel to this), it is referenced that Rarity is into bondage and has a scene about it. It's quite vomit-inducing. Don't worry, that story's time shall come also.
Applejack swayed and toppled, falling over onto the floor with Dash still wrapped around her. She let out a piteous squeak as she hit, and with a final shudder, Applejack went limp, entirely.
Oh great, now she's having a seizure, too. I was unaware that the disorder was communicable.
Dash didn’t release the bit right away. Her hoof carefully brushed Applejack’s mane away from her face, and she panted hard through her teeth, gleaming with sweat. A grin began to creep onto her face, and
Lol what is this i don't even. Seriously, why the hell do horses have fucking bikes? Maybe it's for the same reason they have scooters...
but bett’r... rec’rd br’ken!”
Yeah, bake her pancakes, bitch. Now that you're the woman in this relationship, you'd better cook your man some food, bitch!
“Uh-oh,” said Dash. “You ‘kay, there?” She dropped the bit on the floor, and the magical erection slurped out of Applejack’s hard-ridden marehood and was gone, just like that.
Applejack gulped. “Oh, my darlin’, oh my stallion...”
“And that, my best love, is how it’s done!” panted Dash smugly. “Can you get up? Try to get itup.”
She isn't even wearing the bit, you know.
Applejack wriggled feebly on the floor. “Oh my love... nope...”
Oh good, you realized that she's an unreliable faggot and that you need to get in a relationship with someone who's not a total dumbass?
“Yes!” cried Dash, leaping to her hooves, and wobbling dreadfully all the same.
Hey, it's not her fault that her wobbling is horrible! She just started taking classes, you know.
“New whut? Oh, Dashie, what, what?”
“Nothing,” said Dash, trying to brush off the distress in Applejack’s voice. “I just, I, I still got it. Better than ever. Because you’re better than ever.”
Applejack gave up trying to rise, and sprawled on the floor as if she’d been poured there. “But... new record? What y’all mean, a record? Please tell me, please, Dashie...”
“Oh- first time, that’s all. You fell the very firs... boss?” Dash’s voice cracked, for Applejack had begun to cry, lying there limp on the floor.
Great, you triggered a psychotic episode! Now she's going to have to buck apples in the crazy farm! Goddam, she is going to be pissed when she gets out, you know. I know that I wanted to beat the shit out of a friend of mine who actually convinced the loony bin to detain me there for a week. The faggot will pay for getting me thrown in there just because I was raving over how all girls actually had dicks- wait, we're talking about ponies. Suffice it to say, I hate how many characters in these fanfics have deep emotional issues.
“You... don’t love me!” sobbed Applejack.
Dash’s face twisted with woe, and instantly she was clinging to Applejack’s quivering body, caressing, embracing, pleading, raping, stabbing, punching, reading shitty fanfics. “No, no, you have it wrong, I love you, I love you more than anything except sex with anyone else! Please, don’t be sad, I can’t stand this!”
Applejack choked back her sobbing, and was silent for a moment. Then, her voice came tremulously. “Help me understand, Dashie, please. I’m not a... a sport, to you?”
“I love you, please don’t be hurt! This was supposed to be the best thing ever for you!”
Applejack nodded, face stricken.
Yeah, Rainbow Dash had to slap her ho. Children, if your girlfriend is bitching at you for something, slap the shit out of her! These are some strong moral lessons you're getting here, folks!
“But... y’all cheered, when I fell down- because, because I fell quicker than anyone else done? Since... flight school?”
“Oh, no...” said Dash. “You weren’t out? You heard that?”
Well yeah, it's not like she left the room or anything. I know that you're an incredibly boring lay, but you really ought to have expected better.
“Does it spoil th’ record?” asked Applejack, feeling Dash’s frantic embraces and cuddles.
Is it really a cuddle if it's frantic? I thought they were supposed to be slow and gentle. Either that or nobody twuwy wuvs me and I'm doomed to be fowevew awone.
Dash’s eyes filled as well. “It was about falling over. I’ve always been able to get that, eventually.
Why the hell would you want to make them fall down? For horses, falling down could be potentially crippling! Goddam, you're a humongous douchebag.
You were the best, Applejack, even if I didn’t love you you would’ve been the best...”
“Who else?” asked Applejack softly. “Wait... flight school. Gilda. I reckon I’m nicer than Gilda.
And yet, you are only a fifth as cool as her. Cool vs Nice is the real debate, here. Well, either that or Revy vs Hänsel. So yeah, Gilda wins either way so long as you don't go by the screen name Hotsauce.
How did you have the magic thingy, way back then? I thought it was Trixie’s.”
Technically it's Rainbow Dash's, now. Possession is nine-tenths of the law, after all.
Dash sniffled. “You can strap on things. This is so much better. I want this to be for you.”
“An’ Fluttershy,” said Applejack.
Yes, two chapters ago. It was stupid and pointless. Are you going anywhere with this?
I mean... oh, Applejack! She’s nice. I’m not sorry I made her happy. You’ve got to get used to it. But I love you, it’s different. I’ve got to get you to understand how this is. You’re special, so special.”
Stop trying to be condescending just because she has a mental disorder.
Applejack was silent again, but no longer cried.
“I’m sweeter? To fuck?” she said.
“You’re all stallion, and all mare- you’re everything,
She is truly Yog-Sothoth, the All in One.
I can’t lose you. Do you know how different that is, to me?”
“I reckon I’m learnin’ to get rid of this stupid accent... and, on an unrelated note, I’m a good stallion? You’re better.”
Dash nuzzled her. “I’m yours, I’m so yours. I’m your stallion.”
“You’re a good mare...”
“You’re better,” said Dash. “I couldn’t be anything like that. You just melted, but so alive, oh my gosh...
She's not truly alive; she's a zombie, you imbecile! Quick, shoot her in the head before she can spread the infection!
you were so into it...”
“I melted good? More’n anybody? Y’all nipped me, darlin’, and I went all wobbly.”
Dash didn’t respond for a moment, and then she breathed in Applejack’s ear, “You can do it to me. I’d like that. Nobody else can, I’d kick their ass. I never went mare for anyone that hard until you.”
Applejack’s ear flicked. “Really?”
“I ought to do it... you deserve payback...”
What about my compensation for having to read about your emotional issues? Answer, dammit!
Rainbow Dash wriggled against Applejack, just thinking of it.
“Easy, pony girl, and calm the fuck down, eagle girl,” said Applejack. “Or at least, pony girl again, fer now. And all that screamin? I couldn’t help it. Gosh, my voice sounds funny now. I scream better’n anybody, when you fuck ‘em till they fall over?”
Dash didn’t answer that. There was a pause, and then both said it. “Gilda.” Both sets of equine ears went back, just imagining the outrageous caterwauling.
In the distance, a gryphon smirked. Somehow, she knew that some faggots were stricken with fear at the mere thought of her. Somewhere, the song "White Punks on Dope" was playing.
“But she ain’t here, is she?” added Applejack.
She is here inside of our hearts (and in the annals of MLP fanfiction).
“Memories are good, especially that memory of that one time we lynched that uppity zebra,” said Dash. “I won’t deny that, not even for you. They’re awesome moments. You treasure them, particularly the memory of going completely insane after being corrupted by some chaos god. I wish I could share that with you- I love you, and it hurts to see you cry when I’m... well... when I’m me.”
“Ain’t cryin’ now, darlin’. Do you see me crying?”
“No,” admitted Dash.
“I don’t want to ruin more moments, my love. What mus’ I do?”
First you must scrub all the floors in Hyrule, then we can talk about moments! Go away.
Dash caressed her lover, thinking, and Applejack let her think.
“It’s about love, Applejack. Love isn’t sex, sex isn’t property, jealousy isn’t love- it’s fear.”
“I never really thought about it that much,” said Applejack.
“I have to. Even if I don’t want to, Pinkie will make me think about it.
Yes, because an obnoxious horse is so damn good at making me think philosophically. I remember one time when I was watching her bit in any given episode and thought, "Wow, life really is meaningless!"
She’s been a really good influence, you know. I used to be Gene wilder.”
What the fuck are you doing in this story, man? You were in Young Frankenstein, man! Are times really that tough?
“That’s hard to imagine.”
“I said wilder,” said Rainbow Dash. “I didn’t say happier.” She hugged Applejack close for a moment.
“Y’all didn’t answer my question, hon. I mean it. What mus’ I do?”
“You love me- if I ever doubted it, I know it now that you’re asking me that. And I love you. We’ll start there. If anything goes wrong, we’ll fall back on that, okay?”
Isn't relying on the assumption that you love each other sort of begging the question? You can't build a relationship on logical fallacies!
“But I don’t want to... make you stop bein’ you,” said Applejack. "I just want you to stop being such a faggot and to be a bit more faithful."
“Then we have to help you, be MORE you,” said Dash.
“You love me- but tell me, who else do you love?”
Applejack thought about it, as Dash held her close...
Applejack woke in Dash’s embrace, with feathers tickling her nose. It seemed like an odd position for Dash to be in, sleeping with a wing cuddling her face, but the underside of the wing was so fluffy and warm that it melted Applejack’s heart. She nuzzled back, gently, and then flicked an ear with interest, observing Dash’s squirm and moan.
Another nuzzle there, and Rainbow Dash was wide-eyed- and then, nuzzling back and nibbling her ear, and Applejack crooned and stretched.
“Mornin’ sleepyhead. How do you like your eggs?”
Great, now they're eating Gilda's children. Man, one "fuck you" to her after another...
said Applejack. “Trick question, the answer is ‘wonderful’...”
Dramatic reenactment of how Rainbow Dash reacted to how her eggs were cooked.
“Oh my gosh, really? I never have breakfast! You’re gonna cook for me?”
“Of course. You can go back to bed, or you can keep me company- at a safe distance, ‘cause I
“This I gotta see. Wow, real breakfast! Are you doing it just to keep me around? Because it might work.”
Or it might give her a free meal for the road.
“Naw, sugar- I do this every day. Don’t you? What do you eat?”
“Coffee, alfalfa snacks, pussy, other ponies, shit, old sacks, puppies, kittens, elder gods, planets, you know.”
“Oh, Dashie! Y’all can’t do that, no wonder you get so flighty,” said Applejack, heading for the kitchen.
Dash snickered. “Hello? Pegasus?”
Fact: Galactus is part pegasus on his father's side.
she said, caressing Applejack’s rump with a wing.
“Well, just try what I do for a day, all right, darlin’? You might not zing so high, but you might not end up Rainbow Crash in the afternoon, either. Wouldn’t that be nice?”
“Afternoons are for naps,” yawned Dash.
Applejack said nothing- she certainly didn’t have time to run out of steam and
“Wow. Boss, you really have that down.”
“Years ‘a practice,” said Applejack demurely.
“Uh, do you mind me still callin’ ya Boss? After last night? I still want to, but...”
“Well, light of my life and purpose o’ my existence might be nice once in a while,” teased Applejack, before grabbing a spatula and flipping omelets onto two plates. She let go the spatula, and added, “Seems like you have your own reasons for wanting me to be Boss.”
Applejack winked, with a wicked grin, and Dash went weak in the knees.
Well RD, Applejack has finally decided to stop beating around the bushes and devour your soul. You may feel woozy for a while before you finally enter the great abyss, but you'll get used to it.
“You’ll get what you deserve,” said Applejack. “But thank you for lettin’ me have it both ways.”
She tore into her breakfast, while Dash nibbled hers and marvelled at how good everything was- love showed in all the perfect colors except for yellow, because fuck that and smells except for alfredo, because that is the milk of the infidels, and there Applejack was, just inhaling it all without a second thought. “Hey!” said Dash. “Aren’t you going to enjoy it?”
Applejack blinked, and choffed down a bite of food. “It’s just everyday breakfast, hon. I got to get to work.”
“Will you stay with me? Until I’m finished too?”
“Aw! Of course I will! You’re the one I love, darlin’!”
Behold: the world's most epic non-sequitor! Seriously, what does love have to do with watching your girlfriend eat anything that's not you?
Dash nibbled on more delicious haycake. “And that’s another thing. Applejack... you’re too good not to share.”
“Hear me out! I mean it! I’m not sure exactly how you work. I’m trying to figure it out, and I don’t want to make you cry again, so the fallback position is just you and just me, okay? We start from there.”
“Well... but Dashie, hold on. I love Pinkie very much, and though what we done was real strange, and I never expected it, I can’t see it as wrong, exactly...”
“No, listen! We start from there, just you and just me. I mean it. If that’s what it has to be, that’s what it is. Okay?”
“But I don’t want to change you!”
“I said fallback position, and I mean it, you whore. Now, let’s talk about Pinkie. Did you like what Pinkie can do?”
No, I do not like her unfunny attempts at humour.
“Uh... sorta?” said Applejack.
“Me and Pinkie go way back.
Really? Because as far as I know within the show, she only knew Fluttershy before Twilight came to town.
God, I feel like a huge faggot, typing that out.
She’s kinda special.
Yes, she had to take the special bus and go to the special class, right next to the kid who was screaming about demon cats telling him to burn down buildings.
Can I have her as somebody also special in my life? Fallback is just you and me, remember. I know I can square it with Pinkie.
Without Pinkie's assistance, RD would find it to be nigh-impossible to find the side of that damned third side.
You remember, she yelled at me because I was hurting you! Does that qualify her to be in my life that way, as well as you?”
“Oh, honey. I learned a lot about her then... you wouldn’t guess it, would you? I want her to be in my life, too. Or even in... well, depends on how she go about it. But she liked that so much, honey, I could tell what it meant to her. Let’s keep her, okay?”
Are you sure? You'll have to feed her, bathe her, take her for frequent walks, shove tranquilizers in her when she gets especially annoying...
Dash hyper beamed, and
Applejack drooped. “It’s true. There’s only you.” She then perked up a little, and added, “But if I have you, I don’t need nopony else, honest!”
I'm sure your family will be thrilled to hear that you don't think that they're necessary at all.
“But what if you’re needed, too? Who else is out there that we care about, who might be like you, not getting her needs met, deserving better? You have to think bigger, Applejack. This magical dick thing opens up a world of possibilities that would make Godot cream himself. We can bring
Applejack spit her tea, and stared in horror at Rainbow Dash. “Have you SEEN all of Ponyville?”
“Well, then, we can bring a little more joy to the ones we already love, how about that? Like, I hate to mention it because she gets on my nerves, but what about Fluttershy?”
Fluttershy gets on RD's nerves? Huh, if I didn't know any better, I'd say everybody involved in this is incredibly Ooc! Then again, characters being OoC in a fap-fic? 'Tis unheard of!
“Fluttershy?” said Applejack, startled.
“I don’t know what’s so ‘yay’ about it, but obviously you do have different feelings about her than I do, and that’s exactly what I mean! I care about ol’ Flutterbutter a lot, it’s just that she doesn’t turn me on anything like you can...”
Only Applejack knows the secrets of unlocking the iPad.
“But I didn’t say... well, she’s a darling, sure. Real pretty, even if she’s a handful at times.
Yes, because an incredibly timid hippy horse that spends all of her time with rabbits and cocks is such a wild card. I know that I'd sleep with one eye open if I lived next to anyone like Fluttershy.
Yep, she really looks like a rebel to me.
Like nailin’ jelly to a wall. You suggestin’ that I take up nailin’ jelly in quite a different way?”
“Well, there’s two questions, Boss. One is, do you love her, and of course you do- I love her too, you’ve seen what I’d do for her.
So you claim to love her, but you say that she gets on your nerves and, when asked about her, said "fuck her." *huffs paint* Makes sense to me.
The other question is, does she turn you on? Let me rephrase that. I turn you on. We’ve established that. So who else turns you on? We could make somepony very happy here... and still have each other. Is it Ditzy? Rarity? Cheerilee? Twilight? Mayor m...”
Dash stopped. Applejack had looked away and blushed slightly.
“Hmm,” said Dash, smiling more and more. “Twiiiiliiight. Twilight Sparkle. Look at you. The only question is, do you want her to be your stallion, like me- not that she can, but you know, side sweetie- or do you want to top her?”
“The question,” said Applejack, still bashfully looking away, “is whether you spit your bit on this one! And I don’t mean the magic one, either! Why would Twilight...”
“Are you joking? She looks healthy. Of course she has urges, she wouldn’t be a pony without ‘em,
No, she wouldn't be a pony if measured more than 14.2 hands at her withers.
and all that solitary studying she does... I mean, she’s too fat, but still basically h-”
Applejack’s head snapped up. “She is not! Maybe compared to an athlete like you, but are you crazy? She’s just the sweetest roundest lil’ pony, and so clever and thoughtful...”
“Gotcha!” smirked Dash. “You do want to top her.
Because defending a friend of yours=wanting to bone said friend.
You like ‘em round? I’m glad you like me so much, because I’m never going to be that. Even if I do have alfalfa for breakfast.”
Applejack went bashful again. “Aww. You know I honestly never really thought of her like that? And it ain’t like she’s fat. It’s just... you know her cutie mark? You ever watch how it moves when she trots? Wraps around her flank in such a sweet curve, it’s so pretty. I ain’t even sure she knows it. She’s so bright and helpful, but I never even saw her look at anypony in such a way. She might be one of them ponies that got no interest in it.”
Dash’s expression was wry but her emotions were pumpernickel. “You do have a soft spot for her. She’s smart, all right, but you’re forgetting cranky-pants Sparkle, even though we’ve seen it over and over. I’d be nervous. But I bet you anything that she does have an interest, she just doesn’t know what to to about it. No, scratch that, she knows what to do. She clops!
Yeah, that's the sound made when horses move around. You know what they say about pots and kettles, right?
Boy, I wish I could spy on that pony’s brain when she does clop. I bet the stuff she thinks of is unbelievably messed-up!”
“How do you know she clops?”
“I bet you'll be surprised. Ask her!” teased Dash.
“I’ll do no such thing!”
“You will if you’re gonna offer her the REAL thing.”
Applejack’s eyes widened, and she couldn’t answer for a second. Then- “Damn if you ain’t right. I could, couldn’t I? I got a sweetness on her, she might be lonely like I was- and we got the magical thingy, don’t we? Oh, Dashie. What would she say?”
“That’s for you to find out, and tell me about afterwards...”
And for me to have to read after I get back from vacation. If you liked this or want to talk about how stupid the story is, comment, I guess. If you'll excuse me, I'll be packing up for my vacation to Japan.
This post has been edited by Nihilistic One: Jun 17 2012, 09:59 AM
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