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> May and Caroline: A Pokemon Fanfiction (In name only.), May's mom has got it going on...with her daughter.
Post #21

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post Apr 13 2012, 11:05 AM
Sup guys, the last part of the first chapter is all mocked up for healthy consumption. Enjoy.

"Oh, that felt good, May. And before we leave, let me ask you a single question. Have you ever mated with a boy before?"

(Is WitChan just going to keep using the word mate as a replacement for sex?)

"No, I haven't, but I did mate with my mom last night. It was great though."

(Apparently he is. Also, five dollars says Misty won't react to learning that this girl had sex with her own mother last night.)

"Oh, I see.

(Called it. Also, why aren't you reacting to the fact that this girl confessed to FUCKING HER MOTHER THE NIGHT BEFORE?)

But do you want know what my problem is, trying to mate with boys?"

(Is it because you're a lesbian?)

"Yes, I want to know. I can tell you my problem after you tell me your problem."

(Riveting conversations, brought to you by WitChan.)

"Ok then. Over the past few years, I had a lot of problems attempting to mate with boys,

(This is starting to sound like some weird female version of a Viagra commercial.)

even after I'd interacted with them.

(Then they clearly didn't want what you were putting out there, girlie.)

Some of them were cute and the other half was average looking.

(Wow, that is insightful.)

Sometimes, they could be intimidating with their physical appearance

(Were you trying to copulate with thugs or something? What other form of teenage boy have intimidating physical appearance?)

and does a lot of opposite things from girls

(Like, they don't have boobs, can you believe it?)

but still, I interact with them."

(Just interacting with them is not grounds for them to have sex with you, unless you're a prostitute or some shit.)

"I see what you mean, Misty.

(Now this is just starting to sound like a bad commercial from my tv tech class.)

I mean, I have the same problems like you. I even tried to mate with Ash but I was too afraid."


"You tried to mate with Ash? Are you serious?"

(Why would anyone want to have sex with that guy? He's been twelve for years!)

"Yes I'm serious, but since he's not here right now, I won't think about him much.

(Ash's presence is cause for drama in this fic.)

Have you ever tried an attempt to mate with Ash?"

(They're talking about sex like they're breeding cows or something.)

"Well... I tried it once but I changed my mind soon after."

(So...what, you got to like third base and then decided you didn't want to go the rest of the way?)

"Ah, I see. But other than boys, have you ever thought about mating a girl once?"

("NOPE. I have thought about it three times, not once.")

"I usually tried to think about it but I was being too attractive to boys.

(I have the same problem. I am just so fucking occupied by boys trying to fuck me, I don't even have the goddamn time to think about other options.)

That's not until we met each other again, when you're slapping my ass and stuff.

(Okay, I hate it when people, male or female, slap my ass, why the hell was THAT the thing that you remember, and not the awful frenching?)

But what about you, May? Have you ever thought about mating a girl before you did it with your mom and me?"

(WitChan wants everyone to know: MAY FUCKED HER MOTHER LAST FIC. MAY FUCKED HER MOTHER. Also, nice underreaction there, Misty. Okay, one last thing: you did not have sex with May, you had awful foreplay.)

"No not really. I was too busy thinking about boys until I had sex with my mom.

(Yeah, that would kinda screw up your way of thinking. GET TO THERAPY, YOU FUCKING MORON.)

And now, my mind is on the same-sex.

(That's not how homosexuality works, WitChan. That's how you wished it worked.)

Oh, how I love it when two pussies are squishing each other and two breasts from both girls touching each other.

(Thank you for reminding me why I DON'T read yuri, WitCHan.)

It feels so... astounding..."

(How guys WISHED lesbians thought.)

"Maybe we should try and do that to each other, May, but not today though. I have to do a lot of thing for myself

(Is that just a euphmism for masturbate with your dildo? I am assuming that is what she means.)

and then we could catch up with each other.

("And by that I mean we do the pussy-spuishing thing you mentioned.")

Let's get out of here."

(I agree, let's get out of reading this fic.)

The conversation ended and the girls left out of the woods.

(They didn't say anything else? Dayum that sounds awkward.)

As they walked out, they saw Drew coming towards them.


Drew also saw the two with a glimpse in his eye. She'd forgotten about Drew. She hadn't seen him in a while and she also forgot how good-looking he was. Her current mind was on girls but with Drew's appearance, she'll probably have a split on him and the same-sex or probably not.

(If you are having this kind of reaction to seeing an 'attractive' male, then you are not a fucking lesbian.)

"May, I didn't expect to see you. It's been long since we'd seen each other.

(OF COURSE YOU HAVEN'T, WHY WOULDN'T YOU FUCKING SAY THAT. Good lord, that is the only way people greet each other!)

How had you been doing?"

"Pretty well, I guess. Before Misty and I leave here, here's a question I'd like to ask you. What kind of sexual activity you like? In case you know anything about it."

(Please scroll upward for The Room's famous "anyway hows your sexlife?" line.)

"Hmm... I sort of like how I perform a doggy-style to a girl while slapping their asses and finger their cute assholes. A doggy-style means that a male performs sex on a female that's bending down, slamming his dick inside her pussy."

(JESUS H. CHRIST. Has anyone ever asked someone what kind of sexual stuff they like, and then they respond in fucking graphic detail?
"Hey, Paragon, what gets you off?"
"Well, I kinda like it when- UH, NO GET THE HELL AWAY, YOU FUCKTARD."
Also, Drew, you cannot finger a girl at the same time you are pounding her. Unless she has two vaginas.)

The girls were shocked to hear what Drew said.

(FINALY, a realistic reaction.)

Then, May said, "Ok... then... that's all we want to know... We'll see you later..."

(DAMN, WitChan, you are starting to improve, despite sounding like you cannot speak English or just translated your native language into English through Google Translate.)

"Yeah... May and I should leave and just... walk..."

(Wow, WitChan you are really doing mediocre right now!)

"I can tell you guys more if you like."

"No, thank you. I think we heard enough." May said, walking fast with Misty.

"Ok then, you two."

(Well, that was as realistic as we're getting with this fic. Despite the massive out of character shit. Well, back to the shittiness.)

Sometime later, the girls made it May's house. They weren't inside though.

(Thank you for that detail, WitChan. I guess "They stopped outside May's porch" was too simple to say.)

Then, Misty and May kiss each other and stopped shortly after.

(Oh, good, I assumed they just lip-locked for several hours.)

"Misty walked off, waving May good-bye."

(Did Misty just narrate her life? I didn't add those quotation marks.)

"Good-bye, May."

"Good-bye, Misty."

After waving good-bye to each other, May went inside her house. She saw Caroline coming downstairs, smiling. The girl went over to her mom, slapping the woman's ass.

(Like some weird form of tribal greeting.)

"Did you miss me already, mom?"

"Yes I did, May. So, how did it go? Did you find the perfect girl to test yourself?"

(Mom, you are fucked up. Now please, dear readers, bear witness to the most fucked up mother/daughter convo ever written in fanfiction.)

"Yes, I found the perfect girl and it went well. We didn't go naked on each other but we still hit it off, kissing and touching each other."

"I'm glad to hear that, May. So, who was the girl that hit your ass it off with you?"

"It was Misty, one of Ash's longtime friends. Remember, I showed you a picture of me, her, Ash, Brock, and Max having sex together?"

"Of course I remembered, May, since my memory is good and all.

(In the third fic, she gets Alzheimer's and forgets all the sexual escapades she had with her daughter. I'm just kidding, there is no third fic, thank GOD.)

Let's head upstairs so we can have sex together again."

(As opposed to having sex with another person besides your mom, god forbid.)

"Ok mom."

(So if your mom tells you to have sex with her, say OKAY!)

May and Caroline went upstairs, getting ready to have sex with each other again. This time, Caroline won't teach May.

(She already has all the experience she needs with sex after one round!)

The smaller girl can do whatever she wanted to do like a person that already knows everything about sex.

(Your May has evolved into ProfessionalMotherfucker! Also, how can anyone know everything about sex?)

Well, that is it for chapter one of this thing. Only one other chapter, though. That'll probably be split into three parts, too.

This post has been edited by Paragon: Apr 13 2012, 11:06 AM

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Post #22

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post Apr 16 2012, 12:38 PM
Share Chapter 2

(Oh, please don't.)

After Caroline and May went upstairs and inside the room, they took each other's clothing off.

(Strap yourselves in for round two, motherfuckers.)

After that, the two were pure naked. May was happy to see Caroline's naked body again, even though it's been a few hours since she saw the older girl's body.

(Older by at least 20 years, yes. Do moms really have that good physiques in their thirties/forties?)

Caroline was happy to see May's body too.

(“Mom, are you going naked to take a shower or are you just happy to see me?”)

When she saw the younger girl's naked body for the first time, she was amazed to see May's slightly medium-sized breasts.

(SLIGHTLY MEDIUM SIZED. Were they medium sized or not? Does anyone actually care? I don’t.)

May's breasts weren't average for a girl her age but they were bigger.

(Of course they are. They always are in fanfic. Never understood the attraction to large breasts, sue me. Or, wait, did they magically grow in the last few hours?)

Her ass and pussy was good-looking too, as Caroline would think again.

(After she thought again, however, she decided that pussies were actually kinda gross to look at and promptly jumped out of the window.)

The girls climbed atop of May's bed. Caroline laid her back on the bed, letting May climb atop of her larger body. They stared at each other for a few (hours) seconds and then kiss each other. It wasn't like an ordinary but instead, they wrestled each other's tongues.

(I prefer that ‘real’ wrestling to tongue wrestling, myself. Tongue wrestling is too wet, and they taste weird. Anyone ever try frenching? It’s damn weird tasting.)

They'd done this tongue routine yesterday and they're doing it again today.

(God forbid WitChan shakes up the motherfucking.)

The two couldn't stop kissing, feeling the warm moist inside their mouths, being highly obsessed over this activity.

(They then suffocated on each other’s tongues and died.)

Then, May gently put her left hand on Caroline's left breast.

(Remember kids, always use the corresponding hand for the right and left breasts. Otherwise you get chlamydia. And AIDS.)

Caroline could feel the warm touch on her left breast. She decided to give a touch on her own so she put her right hand on May's ass, squeezing it softly.

(Butt, was it the right cheek?? THAT’S IMPORTANT, TOO.)

May could feel Caroline cupped her ass.

(Oh, hi mid-sentence tense change.)

The astounding combination made their minds sparkled to the maximum.

(WitChan, how you English is of the funny to me.)

Finally, they let go of each other. It's been ten minutes since the two had done this.

(TEN WHOLE MINUTES? Damn, their vaginas must be like the damn Sahara! They might have had to fantasize about MEN to keep themselves going!)

May move down to Caroline's already wet pussy, presses her tongue on the clit. Caroline gasped,

(Aha, it’s good old gasping Caroline.)

feeling May's wet tongue on her pussy. Then, she licked it right away,

(You sure you don’t want to stare at it first? Think about your actions a bit?)

wiping the love juices off it first.

(That is my least favorite euphemism, I swear. It’s worse than “mounds” for breasts or clitorises.)

The older girl

(Is her mom a young adult, what the hell?)

moaned shortly after May licked the love juices off her pussy. She could feel her love juices getting wiped off by May's tongue. It was ticklish. Her body tingled also, had May continued licking the love juices away. It was a lot but that doesn't mean May couldn't stop getting rid of them.

(The lovejuices, they won’t stop flowing!!!! We got a leaky vagina!!!)

Hours later, May was finally done licking the love juices off Caroline's pussy. It didn't take her long enough but she wish that there was more of it coming out.

(You ungrateful little bitch.)

When the first time she licked Caroline's love juices yesterday, she loved it. She treated the love juices like it was an astounding flavor of a sweet substance, like ice cream and gooey candy for example.

(Except it wouldn’t taste like that, I don’t think. I would say more but I don’t want to disgust anyone more than the fic, which is taking the ladyjizz-covered cake.)

She went back to licking Caroline's pussy, without the present of her love juices coming out. May wasn't done with the pussy yet.

(And I’m not done with this fic yet. EUGH.)

Caroline kept moaning, calling out May's name.

(Like the ghost of motherfuckers past.)

The younger girl loved hearing Caroline calling out her name. Then, May fingered Caroline's bottom pussy

(…Right. As opposed to the top pussy. Wait, what?)

with her two fingers from the left hand.

(They were the only two fingers left. Her mom’s acidic love juice burned off the other three.)

"Oh, May... keep working on my pussy..."

(That isn’t a thing people say during sex, WitChan.)

With Caroline's sweet words, May was trying her best to work on the pussy.

(“I’m going as fast as I can, mom, GOSH.”)

She speeds up her fingers while licking faster.

(How spacious is her mom’s pussy that she can put two fingers and a tongue in there?)

That made Caroline moan louder, after telling May to keep working.

(Mom’s a very high maintenance daughterfucker.)

May stopped licking and fingering Caroline's pussy.

(She did not, however, pull out quite yet. WitChan never said she did.)

Caroline let out a gasp, trying to get some air.

(Was she holding her breath the whole time, what the hell. Also, this woman has a damn gasping problem or something.)

It's been ten minutes since May worked harder on Caroline's pussy.

(Ten whole minutes? Jesus, wouldn’t you get bored after like four?)

After Caroline stopped gasping after ten minutes, she got up, giving May a small kiss on the lips.

Once that was done, May laid her back on the bed, wanting Caroline to lick her pussy.

(Do you not remember that she’s your mom, or what? Seriously, what child would go along with this?)

It was wet too, had May went excited when she and Caroline went naked and kiss each other.

(Oh, she was only hypothetically wet, good to know.)

Caroline went down to May's pussy, pressing her wet tongue on it. The younger girl gasped a little.

(But not as much as her mom. Her mom was the gasp master.)

After the small touch, Caroline licked May's pussy.

(So she put her tongue on it, waited a bit, and then started licking? Sex is not a step by step process, WitChan.)

Like May, Caroline was wiping the love juices first.


May moaned. The younger girl could feel the love juices getting wiped off by Caroline's tongue.

(As was implied by her moaning, thank you for clarifying.)

It was ticklish but unlike Caroline's tickling, this one was heavier.

(It was like the thing except not like the thing it was a different thing. O: Oh, my Gawd.)

She also tingled. It was heavier also.

(It weighed more? Because that’s what the word heavier implies.)

"Mom... that felt good..."

(Man…this fic sucks…)

After May's sweet voice, Caroline licked the remaining love juices.

(Wait, didn’t we just read this like four paragraphs ago?)

Then, they were gone shortly after, had Caroline licked them away faster.

(I love all the little hypotheticals WitChan keeps dropping in here. Makes me think this whole fic is just an awful nightmare. Well, it already is, but one that I can hopefully wake up from.)

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Pokemon HeartGold Randomized LP

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Post #23

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post Apr 17 2012, 01:39 PM
Back to your regularly scheduled incest badfic.

The older girl continued to lick May's pussy, like May did with her pussy after the love juices were gone.

(May licked her own pussy? Damn.)

She also put the fingers from her right hand from May's upper part of the pussy, fingering it.

(Okay, you cannot just stick your tongue and then some fingers into a girl’s vagina. They are NOT that spacious.)

She fingered and licked it as fast as she can, making May moan louder.

(It’s not the speed of the boat, it’s the motion of the ocean, ladies. You would hurt the other person if you just do sex as fast as possible. And you’d get tired after like, two minutes.)

It wasn't as loud as Caroline's moan though.

(Caroline’s moaning is superior to your moaning.)

The older woman stopped licking and fingering May's pussy, hearing May gasp suddenly.

(How dare that little bitch steal her mother’s thunder? Caroline is the ultimate gasper!)

The younger girl tried to get some air.

(Okay, seriously, why do they always need to gasp after heavy activity? Are they holding their breath or something? ….Does WitChan have a choking fetish?)

After the long gasp, she got up, giving her mom a small kiss.

(I find the mental image of this girl just drawing in these gaping breaths like a retarded fish for like twenty seconds to be pretty funny.)

"I love you, mom."

(“I love how WitChan keeps reminding everyone that we’re mother and daughter~”)

"I love you too, May. Let's head downstairs so we could eat lunch."

"Ok mom. Stop switching tenses on me, though. I’m really confused, did we eat lunch already or are we going to or are we currently doing it?"

(“Shut the fuck up, dear.”)

The two got out of the bed, heading downstairs. While doing so, May slapped Caroline's ass, making the older woman blush again.

(That is not sexy, WitChan, having the characters repeatedly slapping each other’s asses does not make it better.)

Caroline also retaliated with a slap on May's ass. The younger girl blushed too.

(God, their asses must be pretty bruised from all the abuse.)

A few weeks later, Max was walking alongside the road, returning home.

(Oh, good, anything that is not mother/daughter incest! Even though this kid was the most annoying fucking thing in my childhood.)

He ran away after Caroline and Norman got into a fight, seeing Norman leaving out of the house as a result.

(His father didn’t even try to look for him? Damn, that’s cold.)

He hadn't seen his father since the argument.

(I’m more interested in what happened to Norman than I am in the godawful sex the rest of his family is having.)

The small boy wanted to see his mother again.


He was planning to return home on Mother's Day but didn't since he was in a Pok mon Center with his Pok mon. They'd been terribly injured in a fatal Pok mon battle. He'd to stay with them for a few weeks.

(Se he just stayed right where he was, figuring his mom was busy with other things!!!)

He made it to Caroline's house, opening the door with his own house key and then closes it once he got in. He didn't see Caroline in the living room and in the kitchen.

(You know in horror movies, that feeling you get when you know something awful is going to jump out at you on the screen? Yeah, I feel like that, except more nauseous.)

"She must be in her room, sleeping."

(Kid, you are about to learn a lot more about trauma and the phrase ‘motherfucking awful’ than you ever wanted to.)

Max went upstairs, trying to see if Caroline's in her room.

(He also looks for the tense the fic will be in, because I didn’t knew what it is being.)

After he did, he heard love music in a room. It was May's.

(How does he know it’s her love music? And what the fuck is love music? Does he mean like, awful 70’s disco porn music? Because that’s what I’m imagining.)

He opened May's door, investigating to see what's going in.

(Really, WitChan, you are leaving way too many holes openings goddammit, female anatomy.)

Then, he was shocked to see May and Caroline kissing atop of each other, naked. The girls got distracted and were also shocked to see Max returning home.

(They were shocked and distracted at the same time? Holy shit, how would that even feel?)

"Max... we didn't expect you to return soon..." Caroline said, getting out of the bed while turning the love music off..."

(Caroline likes to narrate what she’s doing in the third person.)

"I was planning to return home on Mother's Day but I (got a really bad feeling that you were doing something awful so I stayed the fuck away. Also, I) had to take my Pok mon to a Pok mon Center since they were critically injured in a Pok mon battle and I had to stay with them for a few weeks until they were better.

(Of course the normal reaction to seeing his mom and sister having sex with each other is to completely ignore it and talk about why he couldn’t come to his mother goddammit on Mother’s day.)

But besides that, what's going on here? Why are you and May naked, kissing each other in the bed?"

"We can explain, Max."

(But can she explain it in such a way that does not make him want to call the police and have you two put into correctional asylums?)

May said, getting out of the bed also. "A few weeks ago, on Mother's Day, mom was teach me all sorts of things and after that, we kind of "hit it off" since then."

(Don’t you dare try to not treat this as fucked up, WitChan. Why isn’t this kid fucking screaming and/or disgusted?)

"Yeah... that's why May and I are naked and kissing each other on the bed."

"Oh, I see. You’re a disgusting slut-faced whore-cow."

"You're not mad aren't you, Max?"

"No I'm not mad, mom. I'm just surprised. But imagine if dad would walk in on you two."

(“Hell yeah I’m mad. This is the sickest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life! God, now I understand why Norman left you! What the hell do you think he’d say if he were here?!”)

"Yeah, I know what you mean, Max. He'd be like "Oh my god. I can't believe what I'm seeing. You two should be ashamed of yourselves" and other boring rants.

(Dammit, Norman is the best character in this fic, and he never even fucking appears!)

But anyway, would you like to join us, Max, so I could teach you everything about being an awful human being and proving that fanfic writers are the scum of the Earth? Oh, and about mating a girl?"

(There are no words to describe how fucking disgusted I am right now. Also, this bitch has not taught us anything besides how not to write good sex.)

"I'm... not sure, mom. I think my presence is already indicative of badfic, I really don’t want to add to the incest quotient."

"Oh come on, Max. I think it's time for you to know everything about this."

(And I think it’s time to cut this fic off for now. I have to go drink pureed nails and gasoline to steel my nerves before reading the next segment. And then, we shall bear witness to the most disgusting threesome ever written.)

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Pokemon HeartGold Randomized LP

Mykan: Paragon part of me wnats to see you chained to the wall
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Post #24

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post Apr 18 2012, 05:23 PM
(I spent about five minutes trying to come up with a snappy comment about mother/son/daughter incest being disgusting but I mean, for God’s sake, it’s fucked up on its own damn merit. That being said, ready for the incest? Neither am I.)

Caroline went down to Max, grabbing his crotch from the outside.

(So, as opposed to grabbing it from the inside?)

It made him a bit nervous but blushed also.

(I wouldn’t feel blushed. I’d feel fucking horrified.)

Then, Caroline crawling her hands inside Max's underwear, feeling his already erected dick.

(I’m so desensitized to this crap, that sentence wasn’t just disgusting, it made me laugh out loud.)

She also pulled his shorts down with her other hand.

(He hasn’t changed his style of attire over the years? Oh, shit. Is he still like, nine in this fic? If so, then AUUUUGHHHH)

With that, she grabbed his testicles with her unoccupied hand, squeezing them softly.

(Mom is giving her son a blowjob. Damn, there’s something I never thought I’d actually read.)

He gasped a little and then moaned.

(The gasping gene is widespread throughout the family.)

Caroline was jerking off his dick while squeezing his testicles a little.

(Thank you for telling us what’s happening in one sentence right after telling us in two, WitChan. Repetition is key.)

May smiled, looking at her mother playing with Max's private areas.

(Yes, because this is such a lovely family bonding moment. Take a damn picture for the family Christmas card.)

Max couldn't do anything besides tingling and moaning. It felt good to him.

(I think he may be having a severe allergic reaction, with the sudden paralysis and all.)

"You like that don't you, Max?"

"Yes mom..."

(Man, is this kind of activity considered normal in the Pokemon universe? Does nobody object to children having sex with their mom? And why is he just going along with it?)

"Good. Why don't you join us in bed so I could teach you everything about mating a girl?"

(Why does he need to know at his age? Is he going to be a fucking pimp at age 12?)

"Ok mom."

(I also think he may have been slipped a bit of Rohypnol or something.)

The three climbed on the bed. Then, Caroline removed Max's shirt, making him fully naked. Before they could do anything, May wanted to ask Caroline a question.

(“Can I kill myself? I don’t want to be in this fic anymore.” Was the question she wanted to ask. However, because she was in a badfic, she aasked this:)

"Mom, if I like girls and I do it to Max, what does that make me?"

(“An incestuous slut.”)

"It makes you bisexual, May."

"Oh ok then."

(Ah, May must have been the result of previous inbreeding! That explains why she wouldn’t know what a bisexual was.)

May was very speculated with the word.

(To WitChan: learn words, retard!)

If she would have known that word in the first place, she wouldn't have a problem doing it to both boys and girls.

(The bigger problem is that she thinks that not knowing the word prevented her from being one up to the point where she learned it.)

But the younger girl wondered why Caroline hadn't told her about the word when Caroline had done it to girls in a younger age and then Norman.

(Why would she? She was a bit occupied with fucking her daughter. Not exactly the most common time to be discussing a sexual identity crisis.)

She wasn't upset or anything but Caroline should've told her about it in the first place.

(Heaven forbid she be upset at her mom for not telling her. This is stupid.)

After thinking, May went on to Max, giving him a kiss on the lips. Then, Caroline gave him a kiss on the lips also. After the double kiss, Caroline told Max to lie down and he did. The older woman put her mouth inside Max's dick, giving him oral sex.

(I can honestly say I have never read a fanfic in which a woman sucks dick from the inside. That being said, OW, MY NONEXISTANT URETHRA!)

Max moaned again shortly after, feeling his mother's lips and tongue slipping and sliding on his dick.

Fun for the whole family!

May went over to her mother's pussy, licking it like always.

(Jeez, you’ve probably had sex with her like, twenty thousand times in the last couple weeks. Do you not like variation or something? Half the fun is…y’know…DOING IT WITH ANYOONE BUT YOUR MOM. Or dad for that matter.)

The younger girl loved the position whenever Caroline's bending down.

(But Caroline was usually too busy gasping to ever bend down.)

Caroline felt the pussy-licking from May while giving Max a blowjob.

(Can you imagine what this family’s Christmas card would look like? Actually, I’m just going to imagine anything but these three sickos.)

"Oh, mom... that feels so good..." Max kept moaned from the oral sex Caroline's giving him.

(I don't think I have ever seen a fic change its tense THREE fucking times.)

Besides giving Max oral sex, she used her right hand to squeeze his testicles again.

(Why the right hand? I think the left hand would be a much more disgusting and artistic choice, WitChan.)

This time, she did it neutrally.

(So she did it like a Swiss/Swedish/Irish soldier? What the fuck does neutral mean in this context?!)

Max gasped from the squeezing he felt. He didn't mind it since Caroline was giving him a good time with his private areas.

(How desperate would a man have to be to accept a blowjob from his own mother?)

Then, Caroline stopped sucking Max's dick and squeezing his testicles.

(Thank God.)

May also stopped licking Caroline's pussy when Caroline moved up.

(Thanks for the update on that situation, WitChan, you disgusting fucker.)

Max was smiling his mother.

(That Rohypnol is potent stuff. Stick around for the climax finale of the fic or not. I wouldn’t, it’s actually worse than anything the rest of the fic has offered so far. God, I think I deserve a slap in the face for not making a single ‘The Aristocrats’ joke so far.)

Index of Mocks

Pokemon HeartGold Randomized LP

Mykan: Paragon part of me wnats to see you chained to the wall
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Post #25

Not your waifu.

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post Apr 23 2012, 01:46 PM
And here we are, the finale of this godawful mess. I'd make some sort of sentimental comment, but you know what? I'm damn happy this is going to be over. This is the most disgusting fic I have ever personally read and I don't know if any of you feel the same, feel free to call me a wimp for taking this on. Thank God, I'm going to be free from this thing, finally!

"Wow, mom... that was fantastic..."

(The sex might have been fantastic, but it certainly wasn’t written that way!)

"Yeah, I'm pretty good at it, Max.

(When your mom is bragging about her skills in oral, it’s probably time to run away from home. And then kill yourself. Or get therapy.)

What I gave you was oral sex, as known as a blowjob.

(WitChan has a lecture fetish, too.)

I'd also gave you a hand job earlier, which means I'd pressured my hands on your dick, moving it up and down.

(Max should have been screaming in pain if he was having his anatomy altered like that. His dick would have been fucking torn.)

And the part where I'd squeezed your testicles has no name. It was just ordinary."

(No, mom, NONE of what you are doing here is ordinary by any stretch of the word.)

"Ah, I see. Can you teach me more?"

(“About how to write awful fanfiction? OF COURSE.”)

"I'd love you, Max.

(Now there’s the Freudian slip of the hour.)

May, lie down on your back and spread your legs."

(Funny, when my mom orders me to do stuff, it’s usually to go clean my room or something.)

May lie down on her back, smiling to see what will happen next.

(God, that’s a creepy image.)

"Max, put your tongue on the private area between May's legs and lick it. It is also called oral sex, but most people calling it pussy-licking.

(Nobody calls it that, you stupid fuck.)

And what you see on May's pussy is a cyst! called "love juice" or you can call it "juice", "wet juice" or whatever.

(I’m gonna call it “tuna taco liquid.”)

Go ahead and try it out."

(Mom loves giving away free samples of her daughter’s vajayjay.)

Max went on and licked May's pussy. He was also licking the love juices off it. The small boy loved this.

(Oh, ok, thank you for confirming that he is a small boy, WitChan. You have not yet proven yourself to be anything but the most disgusting fanfic writers I have ever read.)

To him, the love juices tasted great and the pussy-licking was good too.

(No, sorry fanfic writers: excretions will never taste like anything but what they are, you cannot fucking change it or try to describe it as delicious, because it is anything but. Although, I have heard that if a guy eats consistently sweet things like honey before sex, his semen tastes better, supposedly. Can’t say I’ve ever had honey-flavored semen before, though.)

It was like licking an ice cream cone, only to get rid of the icy substance with your tongue.

(So her pussy is cold and shaped like a cone. That…does not sound healthy.)

May moaned while Max was doing this to her. She never knew Max could lick well like Caroline.

(Like mother, like son, as disgusting as it is.)

And speaking of Caroline, she was watching and smiling at her two children having fun with each other.

(Hopefully nobody else who has read this mock thinks the same. This is not cute, this is not hot, this is fucking disgusting. And it isn’t a trollfic.)

It reminded her when the two had built a sandcastle, spending quality time with each other.

(Oh, they’re building a sandcastle, alright. Complete with the inbred royalty, just for accuracy.)

They'd also spend other quality times with each other before this.

(Right, yes, you just told us that. I don’t think WitChan proofreads his work. It would explain why I feel as though I’m reading the same damn thing over and over again.)

But unlike the typical brother-sister quality time they did before, this one was special.

(Is that what they’re calling it these days? “Special?”)

The small boy stopped licking his sister's pussy. Then, May gasped a bit and stopped. He didn't lick it longer since he only did it for several minutes.

(Only several minutes of brother-sister incest? Come on, a nine year old should have better stamina than THAT.)

"Hmm... delicious..."

(The clear indicator that WitChan is a creepy virgin: he thinks pussies taste good. I see this pop up in fanfic a lot, and if one spends about three minutes on Wikipedia just looking some basic stuff up, they would NOT write about how good sexual excretions taste. I would also say that they should at least have experience, but I mean come on. They’re fanfic writers. The closest they’ll ever get to sex is reading about it. Or writing about it, in this case.)

"So glad you liked it, Max. Now, it's time for the other part of oral sex." Caroline turned around, putting her larger ass on Max's face, spreading her ass cheeks.

(Mommy Goatse.)

"Lick it and see how you like it."

(If there was ever a line that could make me give up on this fic: THAT WAS IT. God fucking dammit, I’m finishing this fuckload of nuts. Why anyone would even conceive of this fic, I will never know.)

Max sticks his tongue out, licking Caroline's asshole.

(mother/son special quality time!)

Then, he stopped shortly after, disliking the taste inside Caroline's asshole.


"Ugh... I can't do this mom. I like the pussy-licking better."

(And I like doing my homework more than reading this, but I guess we both have to do things we don’t wanna do, huh, you little motherfucker?)

"It's ok, Max. Not everybody loves rimming though.

(I had to look that up. It means exactly what you think it means. Is it sadder that I didn’t know what it meant, or that WitChan had a mother say that to her child?)

But do you want to perform a doggy-style on me instead? It means that I bend down like this, letting the male put his dick inside the female's pussy and the male controls his dick by moving back and forth."

(You know those video game tutorial levels that happen in like, every game? That’s what that paragraph reminded me of. “Press X to perform a moneyshot!”)

"That sounds good, mom. Let me give it a try."

(What the fuck is wrong with you, WitChan???)

Max went behind his mother's ass, putting his dick inside her pussy.

(Anyone need a barf bag? No? Just me?)

Then, he moved his dick back and forth on Caroline's pussy, controlling his body.

(Oh, ok, I assumed he had a prehensile penis!)

"Hold me while you're doing this, Max."

With his mother's words, Max hold on to Caroline, putting his hands between her waists.

(So…WitChan spells the word correctly, which many writers tend to misspell…but he implied that she has rolls of fat on her waist. That is one of the most amusing typos I have seen.)

Caroline moaned as the sexual activity processed.

(Processed? THAT’S the word you felt best described the action of the scene, WitChan?)

May looked on and saw her brother and mother doing this and wept at the disgusting sight. She thought a doggy-style position would turn out shocking, AND IT DID! like she would imagine when Drew told her and Misty about it. It wasn't bad at all.

(No, it is, in fact, that bad.)

"Put your... dick inside... my asshole... and give... me... anal sex..."

(NOBODY TALKS LIKE THAT WHEN THEY’RE BEING FUCKED, YOU IDIOT. Good lord, this guy could not write good sex if his life depended on it!)

Max removed his dick out of Caroline's pussy, putting it inside Caroline's asshole.

(The step by step descriptors REALLY are not amusing anymore.)

Then, he fucked her.

(How delightfully minimalist. We begin with a simple word, ‘then’, denoting a sudden shift or change in activity. We then reach the second word, ‘he’, giving us a vague and general picture of who exactly will be performing the action without actually specifying his name. And then, oh, WitChan skillfully, carefully, with all the precision and grace of a morbidly obese dancer in the middle of an embolism, reveals to us the crescendo of the sentence, the very center point of the statement, the word ‘fucked’. And as we react to such a shocking phrase, the writer wastes no time in telling us who exactly is being ‘fucked’. And it is ‘her’ who is on the receiving end of the bold statement. But with the word ‘her’ comes the same degree of anonymity that pervaded the first pronoun, ‘he’. The two participants may as well be anyone, really. And then reality comes crashing back down when we remember that the two people in the throes of passion are in fact, two characters from Pokemon, specifically a mother and a son.)

His dick felt tighter inside Caroline's asshole but kept fucking her anyway.

(Magically contracting penises.)

Caroline moaned again, only this time it was louder.

(This bitch is going to break the sound barrier, I swear.)

Again, May watched and watched, doing nothing to Caroline and Max as usual.

(Pffff, man, once Max got his Y chromosome in the mix, May just got fucking ditched like a cheap whore.)

The sexual activity processed and Caroline loved it. Max also loved it. May, however, did not like it. But nobody gives a shit about what May thinks, anyway.

Then, Caroline screamed out, "Faster! Harder! Faster! Harder!"

(Okay, she’s screaming now, what the hell. Does WitChan think loudness has a direct relationship with how pleasurable the feeling is?)

The small boy speeds up after his mother's demand. Caroline went wild with a louder moan.

(Now she’s making a sound even louder than screaming. I’m sure the neighbors are getting all irritated.)

She never knew Max could be this good in bed unlike Norman, who was just plain terrible at this.

(I’m sorry, but a nine year old could never be better in bed than a full grown adult. I think Caroline is deluding herself.)

After feeling so much good pleasure,

(As opposed to the bad kind of pleasure, which is what anyone getting off on this fic experiences.)

Caroline quickly told Max to stop and he did, removing his dick off her asshole.

(It felt so good, you told him to stop. That makes a ton of sense.)

"Oh, that felt good. Now, put your dick between my two large melons, also known as breasts,

(WitChan has the lovely habit of using the worst euphemisms possible, doesn’t he?)

and move it back and forth. It's also called titty-fucking."

(When a sex scene gives you flashbacks to "FaCe ThE sTrAnGe", you know you’re doing something wrong.)

Caroline laid her back on the bed, letting Max titty-fuck her.

(Wait, who did she lay down on the bed? Is there a fourth participant in this?)

Max put his dick between Caroline's larger breasts

(Larger than whose? HIS?)

and then moved back and forth. He was applying with a lot of agility like he did with he gave Caroline a doggy-style position.

(He gave her the position, becasue nepotism.)

Then, sperm came out of his dick, splashing it on a smiling Caroline's face.

(Nope, semen does not eject with such volume. Also, men cannot ejaculate JUST the sperm, there’s other junk in there, too. God, does ANY fanfic writer know how sex works? I mean, it is NOT that hard to just pay attention in health class. They must all be too busy masturbating, obviously.)

She removed and licked the sperm off her face.

(She removed her face?)

"Did you see that white stuff coming out of my dick, mom?"

(We ALL saw it, you little shit.)

"Yes I saw it, Max. It s called sperm. You might want to avoid putting it inside a female's pussy if you don't want to carry a child."

(Because in fanfic, the guys get pregnant, even if they aren’t in a yaoi fic.)

"What about their mouths? Does it count?"

(I’d point out the obvious, but the bigger problem is that this kid is like, nine.)

"No, it doesn't, which is good since it's delicious."

(Uh, no it isn’t. Semen is NOT tasty, ever. In fanfic, people shit lavender and sweat roses and cum honey or some shit. You can tell when writers are pathetic masturbatory virgins very easily if they mention how good the semen tastes.)

"Well, that's good news though. You heard what mom is saying, May?"

(Oh, right, May is still here, just watching all this go down. I forgot she was still here.)

"Oh, I'd heard it alright. Why don't you be a dear and suck my nipples on my breasts?"

(As opposed to the nipples that are NOT on her breasts.)

"Ok May."

(Everyone in this fic is just everyone’s bitch. Nobody really seems to be willing to do anything.)

Max crawled over to May's breast, putting his mouth on the right nipple, sucking it.

(One boob, two nipples. Apparently.)

May smiled. "Now, reach your hand to my pussy and finger it. It is called fingering."

(It’s shaped like itself!)

The small boy reached his left hand over May's pussy, inserting his two fingers inside it, fingering it back and forth.

(Jeez, you can’t just shove your fingers in there and start yanking them around! That sounds incredibly painful.)

May gasped and started moaning.

(Of course she did. It’s not like she has anything better to do with her life.)

Caroline watched and smiled at the two. She was also happy that May could teach Max a thing or two.

(About what? Being a degenerate, disgusting human being? Because that’s the life lesson I’m learning from this fic.)

It wasn't difficult for Max to do this. May was like four inches taller than Max but that doesn't stop him from having fun with his older sister.

(No, the fact that she’s your sister should be more than enough of a deterrent.)

And speaking of May, she was impressed with her brother's skills despite doing this for the first time.

(Fanfic virgins are always the most skilled, end of discussion.)

Her moaning also increased, which was better for the sexual activity.

(How does that work? What if she was mute, does that mean she wouldn’t have as much pleasure, then?)

Finally, Max stopped. May gasped and then stopped. It was longer than her previous one since Max had sucked the girl's tit while fingering her pussy for ten long minutes.

(WitChan, there is now fucking way that anyone can both suck and finger for ten minutes straight. Stop watching your retarded yuri and learn you some goddamn basic fucking human behavior.)

Then, Max's stomach growled, assuming that he was hungry.

(Way to further murder the mood, there. I don’t even know how this fic can get any worse.)

"I'm hungry, mom. Can you fix me something to eat?"

"Of course, Max. After that, we can have sex again."

"Oh, I'd love to do this again."

"I d love to do it again also, Max." May smiled.

(Shut up, May, you’re not important anymore.)

"And after we eat, I can teach you how to perform a sixty-nine position. It means two individuals have oral sex with each other."

"That sounds amazing, May."

"I know right? Let's go to the kitchen and watch mom cook dinner. I'll race you downstairs."

(The way they’re just so damn flippant about all this is just the cherry on the incestuous love juice cake.)

"Bring it, May."

The two race downstairs without hesitation. Caroline got up and went downstairs too while smiling. She can't wait to have sex with Max and May again after dinner.

(And I can’t wait to never have to read this fucking thing again.)

The End

(And a gigantic middle finger to all, courtesy of WitChan.)

As I said at the beginning, this is the most disgusting fic I have ever read. And all it did was further cement my hatred of Pokemon fans. As always, comments and the like are appreciated. If I did horribly on this mock, I really want to know! Nothing can make me hate myself after reading this fic. Because I know that no matter what I do, I will always be leagues better than the guy who wrote an incestuous three-way between a family of Pokemon characters. Thank you to all who have read this thing, I sincerely hope you enjoyed the mock, at the very least.

Index of Mocks

Pokemon HeartGold Randomized LP

Mykan: Paragon part of me wnats to see you chained to the wall
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Post #26

Ramming You Lethally

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post Apr 23 2012, 02:37 PM
QUOTE (Paragon @ Apr 23 2012, 11:46 PM) *
(I had to look that up. It means exactly what you think it means.)

As I said at the beginning, this is the most disgusting fic I have ever read.

Attached Image

They say that when the student is ready, the master will appear.

Anyway, let me be the first to congratulate you on finishing... whatever the hell I just read. Thanks to my decade-long experience of looking at, reading and watching the most horrifying porn imaginable, I managed to get through this unscratched while eating. It certainly didn't improve the flavor of my pretzel sticks, though. After all, as a general rule of thumb, bodily fluids are disgusting, and that was only amplified by my disgust for the absolutely retarded cliche of them tasting like cinnamon buns and chocolate in fanfics.

I have had a vision. It has been revealed to me by the secret chiefs of the world that I am sexier than Buddha and harder than Jesus. I cannot die.
Joan (requesting my drawings): I'LL PAY YOU
Paragon: I will literally pay you in oral sex if you go on a call and sing that entire song [Little Girls by Oingo Boingo] for us and record it
Scream: Welp guess its my turn to owe Max a IOU blowjob
Paragon: I think Max is rapidly becoming the new pimp of PA
Shane: Max for realest nigga of 2013
TigerEyes: No means yes and yes means anal.
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Post #27
Agnitio Ex Machina

going places

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post Apr 23 2012, 04:23 PM
Sex and food just don't mix.


QUOTE (Al_Cone)
I don't think you thought this one through, Machinavelli.
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Post #28


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post Jul 7 2013, 08:08 PM
QUOTE (Waffleman @ Mar 30 2012, 12:17 PM) *
My penis is dead. I have an anti-boner.

Ya I'm pretty sure everyone's penises are dead.
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Post #29


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post Jul 7 2013, 08:08 PM
QUOTE (Waffleman @ Mar 30 2012, 12:17 PM) *
My penis is dead. I have an anti-boner.

Ya I'm pretty sure everyone's penises are dead.

This post has been edited by CharmanDon't: Jul 7 2013, 08:09 PM
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Post #30
Nihilistic One

Audino if I can put up with your shit

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post Jul 7 2013, 08:16 PM
That was totally worth resurrecting a thread that's been dead for more than a year . . .
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Post #31


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post Jul 7 2013, 08:30 PM
QUOTE (Paragon @ Apr 18 2012, 08:23 PM) *
After thinking, May went on to Max, giving him a kiss on the lips. Then, Caroline gave him a kiss on the lips also. After the double kiss, Caroline told Max to lie down and he did. The older woman put her mouth inside Max's dick, giving him oral sex.

(I can honestly say I have never read a fanfic in which a woman sucks dick from the inside. That being said, OW, MY NONEXISTANT URETHRA!)

wow me neither ugh...UGH...UUUGGGHHH!!!!! wacko.gif pinch.gif pinch.gif pinch.gif
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Post #32

Horrible person with an irredeemable mouth

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post Jul 7 2013, 08:51 PM
QUOTE (CharmanDon't @ Jul 7 2013, 09:30 PM) *
Necroing a thread 'cause I don't know how to read timestamps

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[9:09:06 PM] Soren Highwind: Please don't make me a dick cannibal shane.

[11:45:16 PM] Scream: i have become one with the slug
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