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> May and Caroline: A Pokemon Fanfiction (In name only.), May's mom has got it going on...with her daughter.
Post #1
Paragon


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post Mar 29 2012, 12:47 PM
Well, I never thought I’d see the day when I’d be mocking mother/daughter Pokemon yuri on the Internet. And before anybody calls trollfic on this, I will tell you that the fellow who wrote this has, in fact, written about 73 stories. 73. Stories. God/Allah/Xenu/Zues/Cthulu/Whoeverthefuck save us all.

Disclaimer: I don't own Pok mon and its characters.

(And thank God you don’t, you sick fuck.)

On a nice, warm day in Hoenn, May was heading to her hometown, visiting her mother. It was Mother's day. May hadn t seen her mother since last year.

(Good God, I can’t see anything past the beige! It’s like reading a children’s story, only with more mother/daughter incest.)

This time, she wanted to visit her mom on a perfect day, which was Mother's day.

(Folks, you ain’t ever seen a Mother’s day like this.)

Once she made it to the door of her home, she knocked on it. May waited her mother to open the door. The door finally opened. May's mother, Caroline, was happy to see her daughter, had it been a while since she saw her.

(As previously stated about a paragraph ago, thanks for reiterating, author.)

"May, it's been a while since we d seen each other."

(Oh, my fucking God, they say that one more time, and I swear to God I will punch my laptop.)

Caroline smiled. "Come on in."

"Ok mom. Wow, it sure has been awhile since I’ve seen you!”

(“I know, long time no sex- I mean see, right?”)

May walks inside the house before Caroline closes the door.

(Right, as opposed to when you enter a house AFTER someone closes the door!)

"Why don't you go inside the kitchen, May? I'll make you some dinner. I know you miss eating most of my terrific meals.

(Ugh, they’ll be ‘eating out’ in about a minute.)

The two went to the kitchen. Then, May sat on the table while Caroline would get started on the dinner. Sometime later, Caroline was still making dinner.

(Riveting stuff, this.)

May was waiting for her mother to finish dinner, before she could go to her old room.

(She has to watch her mom make dinner before she can go to her room?)

"I'm almost done, May.

May kept waiting and waiting for the food to get done. As a patient girl, she wouldn't mind waiting for a certain thing to finish or so, even if it would take a long time.

(Author, I’m not quite sure if you’re trying to tell us something here, because that has very little sexual connotation. Is she talking about hot buns or cupcakes or something?)

Finally, the food was done.

(How is any of this relevant to the story?)

May waited for five minutes to finally eat, had she timed it after her mother said that she was almost done.

(Authors, always write about the exact amount of time it takes for something to get done, that makes perfect sense.)

Caroline gave May a plate of food with a fork in it. She got her own plate of food it. The older girl sat the other side of the table and together, she and May start eating.

As May took her for bite, she closed her eyes, sighing with happiness as she could taste the sweet aroma inside the food.

(She shoved her nose inside the food? How else do you smell an aroma inside food?)

It was a same, sweet aroma that her mother added on the food last year.

(Is that a thing that happens, cooks in the reading audience? Do you add aromas in the food?)

"Hmm... so delicious..." May said, chewing on the same piece of meat she put inside her mouth earlier and then swallowed it.

(As opposed to spitting out the first and putting in a different piece of meat? Author, these aren’t important details. Good lord there isn’t even a fucking plot to this thing, is there? Besides the plot about fucking, I guess.)

So, mom, where's dad? Did you tell him that you're making dinner?"

"He's not here, May. He moved out of here three months ago."

"Why? Did you guys have a fight?"

(I guess this is as close as we're getting to a plot: an explanation as to why a woman can have sex with her daughter without the girl's father walking in. Fuck you, WitChan, fuck you with a recently sharpened steel razor.)

"Yes, we did. After he moved out, Max was terrified by the whole thing and ran away."

"And have you been hearing from Max lately?"

"Sadly, I haven t. I hope he's ok."

"Oh, don't worry, mom. I'm sure he can take care of himself since he got his Pok mon with him."

"Well, that could be a good thing for him but still, I hope he's ok."

(He’s okay as long as he stays out of the fic.)

As soon as Caroline finished her sentence, she and May continue to eat dinner. Sometime later, they were done.

(Oh, but author, I want to read more about exactly how long they ate and what they ate in chronological order, and exactly how long they chewed it!)

May exited the kitchen, heading to her room. As Caroline watched May exit the kitchen, she smiled. The MILF was planning to do something to her daughter later on.

(-spits out drink- Did the author just unironically call a character a MILF? What the fuck?)

After May made it to her old room, she closed the door. Next, she removed her clothes until she was fully naked. After that, she climbed atop of her own bed and lie down. The trainer inserted the two fingers from her left hand on her pussy, starting to masturbate as she went on.

(WHAT THE FUCK? Jesus, doesn’t it usually take a bit more than dinner with your mom to get you aroused enough that you need to jack off? Damn, girl, go find some porn or something, or roleplay with a friend or shower, for fuck’s sake. …”for fuck’s sake” was obviously the wrong phrase to use there.)

She gasped a bit after putting her two fingers inside, but it didn't matter much as she knew how to handle this. It's been a long time since she'd done this. She'd started this at the age of seven and now, this is like her 50th time.

(I didn’t even know what a vagina was at age seven. Also, author, are you sure it’s her fiftieth time, or are you just guesstimating?)

Sometime later, May was still masturbating. She couldn't stop, had it been a long time doing this.

(“Wow, pussy, I haven’t seen you in a long time! You and my left hand have some catching up to do!”)

Masturbating inside her room was the perfect place to do this. Masturbating during an adventure wouldn't make sense to her so she'd to do it here.

(Yes, that makes perfect sense, right in the presence of your mother’s home.)

Suddenly, the door opened. May noticed it and got up. She was a bit shock that her own mother was naked. Caroline was smiling at her daughter.

(Ugh, here we go. I’d rather read about them eating at this point, oh my god.)

"Mom... you re naked Why are you doing this...?"

(“I just got out of the shower, sweetie. Better question is, why are you masturbating? Your father got custody of all the porn in the house.”)

"I wanted to go naked for you, sweetie. I could see that you're already naked so I must say I'm a bit surprised."

(Going naked. Sounds a lot like going green, except with more parental incest.)

"Oh... I see. But why do you want to go naked for me?"

"Oh, I'll tell you why May and it's going to be sexy."

(It really isn’t going to be. It really isn’t. This is a long oneshot, so I’ll be splitting into three parts. This thing also has a sequel, so we can all look forward to that.)


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Index of Mocks

QUOTE
Mykan: Paragon part of me wnats to see you chained to the wall

QUOTE
Paragon: does the titan break wall maria
Mykan: Yes
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Projectkulu


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post Mar 29 2012, 02:39 PM
I thought this was at first going to be May(the month)/GLaDOS fic, I don't know if this would of made it better or worse.

This post has been edited by Projectkulu: Mar 29 2012, 02:41 PM


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Post #3
Paragon


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post Mar 29 2012, 02:40 PM
(I don’t know how I can even live with myself after reading this. Wonder how the author feels about writing it. Probably horny.)

Caroline went over to her daughter, sitting next to the trainer. "The reason I'm going naked for you is because I usually do it in my high school days and now,

(Alright, getting tenses consistently correct is hard while typing with one hand, I will give the author that. Also, high school girls do not have sex with each other. I’ve never been subjected to this, unless they’re all going behind my back. Oh my God.)

I want to do the same thing to you.

(WHY? There aren’t any Chippendales anywhere around there that you could have awfully written sex with? No, you have to do it with your daughter?)

Oh, those were the good days when a couple of girls and me constantly go naked for each other and have sex over again.

(Uhhhhh, no. Author, do you even know what girls in high school act like? No, of course you don’t you pathetic perverted pestilence.)

I also developed my breasts during those times, which made it sexier than before.

(Implying that they were having sex BEFORE puberty? AGH! God, blind me for the love of all that is pure and innocent!!)

"So that's how you wanted to go naked for me, I see. What kind of stuff did you guys do?"

(See, it’s totally normal for a girl to ask about her mother’s homosexual escapades in high school.)

"We did everything, May. We did breast fondling, pussy licking, scissoring and everything else in the book."

(There’s a book about how to have lesbian sex? And what to do? Do all yuri writers know of this?)

"You guys did everything in the book, huh?

(OhmyGod, she knows about the book, too?)

Hmm... Could you show me how you guys had your time together?"

(Why would ANYONE ask this??? Nobody has this kind of relationship with their parents!)

"Of course, May."

(fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck, no don’t make me I don’t want to…I have to go stare at the sun until my retinas burn out, it’s the only way. Ugh, this is going to suck.)

Caroline laid her back the bed and then told May to lay her breasts on her own, which means fondling.

(Uh, no, I believe fondling involves hand-to-genitals contact, not genitals-to-genitals contact.)

May crawled on her mom's larger body, pressing her breasts on her mom's own breasts.

(Please stop referring to Caroline as ‘her mom’, that just makes it sicker. I actually just vomited in my mouth a little bit.)

As they went on with this, May smiled. Caroline also smiled, which was brighter.

(Like we’re comparing lightbulbs. Yes, I’m grasping at unerotic things to think about, what of it?)

"Whoa... this is awesome..."

(I think the only person who could be thinking this in the known universe is WitChan or Oedipus, and that guy blinded himself after he realized he fucked his mom!)

"I know, right? Now give me a kiss."

(Ugh, that’s what my grandma used to say.)

With Caroline words, May went up to the MILF's

(What the hell, author. Again, with the MILF? It really is not helping you make this IKEA crap any sexier, or funnier. Just more disgusting.)

face, pressing her lips against her mom's. The two started kissing.

(But weren’t they already kissing? KISSCEPTION!)

With the kiss, Caroline pressed her tongue on May's. She went on and grinding her daughter's tongue with her own.

(Oh, that must be the aroma May was smelling: ground up tongue. Very exotic.)

May was a bit surprised inside her mind,

(A BIT? Just ‘A BIT’? I’d be calling child services or some shit about now!!!)

but she wanted to learn how Caroline did this to her friends.

(Why would you want to? Just look it up, or read the fucking ‘book’ or something else, why are you fucking your mom)

May grinded her tongue on Caroline's, making a retaliation of her own.

(Author, you really don’t use the best words. Ever. Because now I’m just imagining these two tongues having a boxing match, and it’s really unsexy. I mean, this isn’t even the kind of stuff I get off to, and I’m sure that any yuri fans in the reading audience feel even more offended than I do at this.)

The MILF was surprised also but she knew it was coming anyway.

(“Mother-Daughter Bonding” taken to a wholly unwanted level.)

Together, the two wrestled each other s tongues.

(They were fighting against their tongues?)

Their minds were flowing with happiness

(Oh, is there brain matter leaking out of their ears as divine punishment? I’ll start going to church again, I swear.)

and their cheeks rose heavily.

(Oh, my god they’re fucking morphing.)

May wondered what Caroline will teach her next besides breast fondling and tongue-kissing.

(I’m almost never a fan of these “teach sex to someone by doing it with them” fics. This one, especially.)

Hopefully for herself, she'll teach the younger girl a lot of sexual things. Breast fondling and tongue-kissing was great for May but she wanted more.

(I literally just threw up. I’m not kidding, I just puked all over my laptop. Motherfucking hell. Jesus, 'motherfucking' was the absolute worst thing to say.)

The trainer didn't know much about sexual activity besides masturbation.

(Okay, how old is she in this story? Seriously, I’m confused. How can you know what masturbation is, and yet not know of how sex works? Don’t you usually have to think of sex in order to become aroused in the first place? Unless she just got horny every time someone makes food, or something.)

Needless to say, her parents didn't teach her about sex. Caroline wanted to but Norman refuses to let her teach May how to play explicitly.

(Norman, I can understand why you left this woman. You were too good for her.)

But since Norman doesn't live with Caroline anymore, the MILF

(Okay, does anybody even remember May’s mom being all that attractive? I don’t.)

had her chance to teach her daughter about mating. Going naked for her was the same thing though.

(You know there are other ways to give the birds and the bees thing without explicit demonstration.)

Finally, the two let go of their tongues, smiling at one another. Caroline enjoyed the tongue-kissing and so does May.

(Okay, frenching is super uncomfortable if the other person has no idea what they are doing. Caroline, you are the worst mom ever.)

It was probably the best tongue-kiss Caroline ever did with anyone. Her last tongue-kiss with Norman was terrible at best. And even worse, the Gym Leader was terrible at bed.

(Well, at least the man is a better parent than you! Alternate ending to this fic: Norman comes home, claiming he left a few PlayBuneary’s at the house, discovers his wife and daughter doing it, knocks them both out, and then has them arrested and put in therepy. Oh, but this isn’t even half over yet.)

He was so terrible at bed that Caroline wanted to cheat on him and find a better partner who was decent or terrific in bed, male or female.

(See, there are these things called prostitutes. They can help with that. It’s immoral, but they can help.)

He wasn't much of a sexual person, hence the reason why he's so terrible in bed.

(Hey, lay off, sometimes people don’t want sex 24/7. Get over it, mom-whore.)

Luckily for Caroline, she had two kids with him. If not, May and Max wouldn't exist.

Anyway, the two continued to stare at each other lovely.

(Their lovely what?)

Then, Caroline said, "Let's shower together, May. I'll teach you everything once we get there."

(GODDAMN, WitChan, you’re going to ruin shower sex for me, too!?)

"Ok mom."

(GODDAMMIT! This thing isn’t even half over, God fucking dammit.)

May and Caroline got off the bed and left out of the room. They made it to the bathroom shortly after.

(Yes, we needed that extra sentence telling us they made it to the bathroom.)

Caroline turned on the shower along with a mixture of hot and cold water.

(Making…-gasp- warm water.)

After waiting a bit for the water to get warm, the two got inside the bathtub.

(Wow, the waiting was the most exciting part of this thing. But not as intense as the eating, whoo man that was crazy.)

Caroline grabbed a towel, wetting it and then washed herself as May looked on with a bright smile. "Before we could do this, let me ask you a question. Have you been doing well battling with trainers?"

(“So before we have shower sex, how has your career been treating you, daughter of mine?” What the hell are you trying to do, author? Don't try to give us interaction, you're just making yourself look worse.)

"Yes, I did. Most of the trainers I'd battled were easy."

(And now we’re just completely going off on a separate tangent. Granted the whole fic is disgusting and stupid, but I’d rather have an inane and boring fanfic. You know, as opposed to the mother/daughter incest we’ve been reading.)

"Oh, I see. When I was your age, most of my battles with trainers were easy and average. Luckily, they weren't hard like today's Pok mon battles. I miss those days though, were I could come up to any trainer and quickly beat the shit out of them with my Pok mon."

(Okay really, why is this a scene that is happening? What relevance to the story does a trite conversation have? I’m not saying that I’d rather be reading the incest, but this just seems so out of place, I’m getting whiplash.)

"I didn't know you're good in Pok mon battles, mom. Why haven't you told me this before?"

(“Because I was too busy teaching you about sex, honey. Now when is that stupid shower going to heat up?”)

"The reason why is because I didn't want Norman and Max to hear me talk about my Pok mon battles with you. You know, your brother could be very noisy and your father... well, you know how he acts whenever he talk about Pok mon battles.

(“He starts drinking, mom, I know.”)

"I see what you're talking about, mom, especially dad."

"Yeah, your dad is something. If I'd told him that I own one trainer before in a Pok mon battle for fifteen seconds, he would probably complain and said that his Slaking could handle the job better. He always complained about owning trainers in short battles to people."

(Owning is not the best term to use there, WitChan. Makes me think of a damn Pokemon slave trade or something.)

"Well, dad is dad, you know."

"Yeah... your father is usually the same type of guy that brags about the same stuff, though."

(Like his prowess in the sack. Fucking hell, I really want to hurt myself now. Part three will be up soon.)

This post has been edited by Paragon: Mar 29 2012, 02:41 PM


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Index of Mocks

QUOTE
Mykan: Paragon part of me wnats to see you chained to the wall

QUOTE
Paragon: does the titan break wall maria
Mykan: Yes
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Post #4
Paragon


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post Mar 29 2012, 02:44 PM
QUOTE (Projectkulu @ Mar 29 2012, 05:39 PM) *
I thought this was at first going to be May(the month)/GLaDOS fic, I don't know if this would of made is better or worse.


I think that would be a bit of a "horribly worm-infested apples to putrid acidic oranges" comparison.

I'm not sure if I should be terrified or unsurprised that such a fic exists.

Why the month itself? (Never played Portal, but I don't recall anyone saying anything about the personification of the months of the year being in that game.)


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Index of Mocks

QUOTE
Mykan: Paragon part of me wnats to see you chained to the wall

QUOTE
Paragon: does the titan break wall maria
Mykan: Yes
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Post #5
T_K_17


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post Mar 29 2012, 03:05 PM
QUOTE (Paragon @ Mar 29 2012, 03:44 PM) *
I think that would be a bit of a "horribly worm-infested apples to putrid acidic oranges" comparison.

I'm not sure if I should be terrified or unsurprised that such a fic exists.

Why the month itself? (Never played Portal, but I don't recall anyone saying anything about the personification of the months of the year being in that game.)

78.4% sure he was joking there.


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Mocks:
1. Digiball Z - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 (f)
2. Saiyaman (f)
3. Saiyaman 2 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11
4. Teen Titans vs Project AFTER - 2 3 (f)
5. Desires Unspoken - Deluxe Special Edition (f)
6. TK versus Birdboy | Fandom | Empire - Part 1
7. Garden of EVA - Sucks Everybody! (f)
8. What is War? - 1 2
9. My Little Unicorn: Star Fleet Magic - 1 2
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Post #6
Paragon


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post Mar 29 2012, 03:09 PM
QUOTE (T_K_17 @ Mar 29 2012, 06:05 PM) *
78.4% sure he was joking there.


Ah. Apologies, this fic took me some weird places, and I actually did puke, I really wasn't kidding about that. I have some stomach cold or something.

God, I think that first sentence had about fifteen more commas than necesary.


--------------------
Index of Mocks

QUOTE
Mykan: Paragon part of me wnats to see you chained to the wall

QUOTE
Paragon: does the titan break wall maria
Mykan: Yes
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Post #7
Paragon


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post Mar 30 2012, 06:02 AM
Part three, coming up. This is the most painful read I've ever taken on. I'm not kidding. Need I remind you that this author has written 73 Goddamn stories? like this one?

After their conversation about Pok mon battles, Caroline pointed her wet pussy to May

(Agh, again with the whiplash. How is any of this erotic? Having a normal comversation and then disgusting sex?)

and told her to lick it. May went over to it, sticking her tongue out and then pressed it on Caroline's pussy.



Caroline gasped a bit. May licks it right away.

(Right away, ugh. The willingness is not sexy, nothing about this is sexy in any sense of the word.)

As May starting to lick it, Caroline moaned. The older girl put her right hand on May's hair, rubbing it softly. May felt it but that didn't stop her from licking Caroline's pussy.

(God forbid anything stop her from licking her mom’s pussy.)

Caroline moaned a bit louder as the pussy licking progressed.

(The step-by-step prose is not erotic, ever. God, haven’t any of these authors had sex before? That was a rhetorical question, of course.)

Her body also tingled a bit, which made it better for the activity.

(I’m sure we won’t see any of the psychological trauma that would arise from such an activity. I mean, Oedipus fucking cut out his eyes when he found out what he did.)

"Oh, May... that feels so good... Grab my ass... while you continue... licking my pussy..."

(Who talks like that during sex?)

With Caroline's demand, May cupped Caroline's ass with her bare hands.

(NOT WITH YOUR BARE HANDS! IT’S TOO DANGEROUS!)

Then, she squeezed one side of Caroline's ass while slapping the other, making her mother gasped again.

(“Jesus, mom, it’s like you’ve never fucked a girl before.”)

After that, May dragged her right hand towards the middle part of the ass cheeks.

(I believe that is called a buttcrack, author. Don’t try to make this any better, you are the most wretched human to ever walk this Earth.)

She inserted her finger inside Caroline's asshole, toying with it in circles.

(Um, OWWWWW!)

Caroline gasped once again.

(And that brings the count up to 89,413 gasps. Way to be, mom.)

"Oh, god... May... you're such a good girl..."

(This is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever read in my entire life. This is worse than the HP furry fanfic, this is worse than Forbiden Fruit, this is worse than Homestuck High, this is the absolute worst thing I have ever read. That sentence right there, the one that the author felt necessary to include, has lead me to this conclusion. I have no words to even begin to describe my hatred for this abomination, and I know I’ve used that word before, but here…it is truly the only word I can think to use. Time to steel my nerves and carry on.)

May's combination of licking and fingering made Caroline sparkle her mind with excitement.

(WitChan, I swear I will find you and make you pay for this, you walking pile of putrescence. You probably don’t even know the meaning of the word, you sad waste of flesh and oxygen.)

As for May, she was excited to do this to her mom also.

(WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO DO THIS.)

Then, May flourished Caroline's love juices away and despite that, she continued to lick the MILF's pussy.

(I don’t understand this sequence of events, author. Stop masturbating, and fucking write in correct English.)

This was her first time licking pussy and she loved it.

(Why couldn’t you have just stuck to masturbation? Goddamn, that would be better for your psyche than fucking your mom.)

She loved it when she controls her own tongue on it, grinding and flourishing the love juices.

(She’s licking so hard, the love juices are flying everywhere. That is the image I’m getting from that, author. You are terrible at writing what are intended to be erotic scenes. I use that term loosely, of course, there is no way anyone reading this is getting aroused.)

She also loved it when she touched the entire part of the pussy with the left or right side of the tongue.

(Why do we need to know what side of her tongue she was using?)

Caroline's sweet melody of moan increased.

(MELODY OF MOAN. Like a damn whale song, that’s what I’m imagining.)

Luckily for her, Max and Norman weren't here to hear the moan echoed through the house.

(Yes, luckily for her, nobody will save this child from her rapist mother.)

Otherwise, they would raise suspicion, especially Norman. But since they're not here, Caroline and May could spend a lot of girl time until they were beat.

(Uh, yeah, this is probably punishable by life in prison, lady.)

"May... please stop... I got a... better idea..."

(Oh, please don’t tell us what the idea is, for the love of God, don’t.)

May stopped after hearing her mom's gasping words. Then, Caroline continues to gasp, trying to catch her breath.

(Oh, of course, this woman never fucking stops gasping.)

Finally, she did shortly after.

(Thanks for the update on that, author.)

"Lay down for me, May. I need to administer more of the drug that is making you my sex slave: ROHYPNOL!"

The younger individual lies down on the bathtub.

(Yes, author, please keep reminding us that this girl is having sex with her mother.)

May wondered what Caroline will do after hearing her demand. The older girl laid her pussy on May's face, surprising the small girl.

(I WILL NEVER BE CLEAN AGAIN.)

Then, Caroline went down, pressing her tongue on May's wet pussy. May felt it and was a bit surprised.

(God, these two can only register two emotions, ‘surprised’ and ‘gasping’.)

"This is called a sixty-nine position, where two individuals play with each other's private areas."

(Oh, right, I forgot this is supposed to be an educational experience for her daughter. How silly of me to forget.)

Caroline licked May's pussy right away while May was doing the same thing. May didn't know why it was called a sixty-nine position, but she'll have to tag along with the name anyway.

(Right, because you have better things to do, like fuck your mother.)

It wasn't nearly difficult for Caroline to lick May's pussy like this.

(What, lady do you want a challenge or something? You are the worst mother ever.)

She was like eight inches taller than her but that doesn't mean she could stop from licking May's pussy in a sixty-nine position.

(Nothing will stop her form licking her daughter’s pussy.)

The older girl flourished

(You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means, author.)

her daughter's pussy with the right side of her tongue,

(Yes, thank you, we all care which side of the tongue she used.)

licking it like an ice cream cone.

(Pussy flavored ice cream sounds disgusting.)

May could feel her mother's tongue edging on her pussy, making her mind go wild.

(Ugh, does this girl not realize that she is fucking her mother?)

She didn't lick Caroline's pussy much besides touching it with her tongue, not only because she already licked it. She was tinkling.

(She was peeing??? GOD ALMIGHTY, AUTHOR. You have absolutely no redeemable qualities in anything ever. Your mother should have gotten an abortion. No, wait, you’d probably get off on that, too wouldn’t you??? God, this is all I can take for the next couple hours.)


--------------------
Index of Mocks

QUOTE
Mykan: Paragon part of me wnats to see you chained to the wall

QUOTE
Paragon: does the titan break wall maria
Mykan: Yes
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Post #8
Projectkulu


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post Mar 30 2012, 07:12 AM
QUOTE (T_K_17 @ Mar 29 2012, 06:05 PM) *
78.4% sure he was joking there.

I was not joking. No fic of that level of stupid exists (as far as I know) though, I was just saying that after reading the title of the fanfiction, I thought it was going to be a May (the month)/GLaDOS fanfic in the pokemon world.


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post Mar 30 2012, 07:27 AM
QUOTE (Projectkulu @ Mar 30 2012, 08:12 AM) *
I was not joking. No fic of that level of stupid exists (as far as I know) though, I was just saying that after reading the title of the fanfiction, I thought it was going to be a May (the month)/GLaDOS fanfic in the pokemon world.

Yeah, that's what I meant. You weren't referring to an actual story. Then again, your idea sounds intriguing. Let me know if you ever find any stories about AIs fucking months.


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5. Desires Unspoken - Deluxe Special Edition (f)
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post Mar 30 2012, 09:16 AM
QUOTE (Paragon @ Mar 30 2012, 07:02 AM) *
(She was peeing??? GOD ALMIGHTY, AUTHOR. You have absolutely no redeemable qualities in anything ever. Your mother should have gotten an abortion. No, wait, you’d probably get off on that, too wouldn’t you??? God, this is all I can take for the next couple hours.)

Yo, don't take this piece of crap seriously or anything. There's always worse. Might help if you imagine it as a trollfic, even though it's obviously made by a sexual deviant.


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post Mar 30 2012, 09:17 AM
My penis is dead. I have an anti-boner.


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post Mar 30 2012, 09:49 AM
QUOTE (Agnitio Ex Machina @ Mar 30 2012, 12:16 PM) *
Yo, don't take this piece of crap seriously or anything. There's always worse. Might help if you imagine it as a trollfic, even though it's obviously made by a sexual deviant.


It can't be a trollfic, the asshole has written 73 other stories similar to this one.
Granted, it's the only incest one, but this is the shit he writes and how he writes it.

And Waffleman, I'm so sorry for your penis. The fic has now commited at least two crimes: making me vomit and being a boner-killer.


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Mykan: Paragon part of me wnats to see you chained to the wall

QUOTE
Paragon: does the titan break wall maria
Mykan: Yes
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post Mar 30 2012, 11:13 AM
QUOTE (Paragon @ Mar 30 2012, 10:49 AM) *
It can't be a trollfic, the asshole has written 73 other stories similar to this one.
Granted, it's the only incest one, but this is the shit he writes and how he writes it.

And Waffleman, I'm so sorry for your penis. The fic has now commited at least two crimes: making me vomit and being a boner-killer.


Which is why you imagine it to be.

This post has been edited by Agnitio Ex Machina: Mar 30 2012, 11:13 AM


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post Mar 30 2012, 12:19 PM
I tried to imagine it as a trollfic. It did not make it better, but thanks for trying to make it less painful.


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Mykan: Paragon part of me wnats to see you chained to the wall

QUOTE
Paragon: does the titan break wall maria
Mykan: Yes
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post Mar 31 2012, 03:17 PM
So when I said this think could be taken care of in three parts, I was lying apparently. I underestimated the length of this monstrosity. Without further ado, here is part four.


Then, May felt something else besides feeling her mom's tongue,

(Oh, no, if we get futa in this I’m just going to go kill myself.)

making a gasp for the first time.

(Her mom was still ahead by about 30,000 gasps, though.)

Caroline was fingering the small trainer's pussy. She also felt something else and this time, she didn't gasped.

(WHAT A TWEEEEEST.)

The MILF was fingering May's asshole.

(Yes, the author felt the need to state the same thing twice. He really wanted you to know about the teenage girl getting fingered by her mom.)

As Caroline went on and play with May's private areas together, the small trainer moaned.

(Ooh, I finaly figured it out: May’s mom drugged her when she ate the food.)

It wasn't as sweet as Caroline's melody of moan but it sounded decent to say the least.

(Moaning doesn’t sound good. I usually think of zombies when I hear the phrase ‘moaning’ unless it has the ‘in pleasure’ tagged at the end, like 99% of authors use nowadays.)

"Oh, mom... that feels so great..."

(Author, please keep reminding us that this girl is getting fucked by her mother and you intend for this to be erotic, I don’t think you’ve been named “most disgusting human being of eternity” yet.)

May loves it. She never knew her mom would go wild on her private areas but she loved it.

(I’m pretty sure no child would ever expect a parent to go “wild on their private areas”.)

Despite Caroline's sudden intensity, May didn't tell her to stop.

(Because the thing that would make you tell your mom to stop fingering you…is her sudden intensity. Not the fact that, you know, you’re getting fingered by your mom.)

She wanted Caroline to keep going until she tells her to stop.



Besides letting Caroline do this to her, she wanted to finger the MILF's holes also.

(Well, be sure to plug all of them. She might explode or something good, then.)

She gently inserted her finger on her right hand on Caroline's pussy. Then, she inserted her finger from her left hand on the MILF's asshole.

(Oh, author, don’t be coy. Tell us which finger she used! Hey, stop jacking off and finish this piece of shit!)

The younger girl fingered them at the same time, making Caroline gasp once more.

(Whis woman will never stop gasping.)

Caroline moaned again.

(But was it a “Symphony of moan”???)

This time, both Caroline and May moaned together. Their combination of the melody was brilliant.

(Yes, music connoisseurs from all over the world would weep at the brilliance of the sounds of daughter-mother fucking.)

It was like two singers attracting in audience when they combine their beautiful voices together.

(Except with more mother-daughter incest.)

Although Caroline and May aren't singers, they could probably make a lot of attraction to people who loves girl on girl action.

(No, they would attract the attention of sexual deviants who probably got off on Oedipus Rex and figured that it would be hotter if a girl fucked her mom than a dude. Namely WitChan, the only fuckhead who could ever get off on this.)

Sometime later, Caroline got off May's pussy, gasping a bit. May also gasped but it was longer due to her age.

(Author, don’t disgrace any kind of science by trying to explain anything.)

Then, Caroline turned around, giving May a bright smile while pointing at her own breasts.

(Gaze upon the MILF’s breasts, and weep and despair.)

"Suck my nipples, May."

(My god, May is her mom’s bitch.)

May went over to the huge knockers,

(Author, I don’t think you’ve ever actually seen a breast IN REAL LIFE. Certainly nothing outside the fucking hentai doujins you read every second of every day.)

pressing her lips on the left nipples.

(NIPPLES? Uh, author, your sense of accurate anatomy is deteriorating.)

Then, she sucked it right away.

(Really, I just assumed she just kept her mouth there and did nothing!)

Caroline rubbed May's hair again, just to make the sexual activity better.

(A gesture typical of motherly affection makes a sexual activity better. Author, you are disgusting.)

As May progressed a bit, Caroline moaned.

(She didn’t gasp? What a twist!)

The younger trainer slurped and sucked Caroline's nipple like there was no tomorrow, meaning that she was a bit aggressive.

(Just a bit? Jeez, what happens when she’s actually really aggressive? Does she just tear it off?)

"May... that felt good... suck my other nipple..."

The younger girl let go of the nipple, which was wet and slightly red. She went over to the other nipple, pressing her lips on it and then sucked on it. Unlike her attempt on the first nipple, she went a bit aggressive on it early. With the bit of aggression May made, Caroline moaned.

(These scenes are getting more and more ridiculous as the chronic masturbation on the part of the author erodes his grip on the English language.)

"Oh, May..."

May went to the left nipple with her finger on the left hand, toying with it.

(I threw up in my mouth again.)

Caroline moaned louder

(At least she stopped gasping.)

as May continued playing the older girl's nipple with a terrific combination.

(A combination of what? Her finger, and….just that one finger?)

The way that May was toying with the left nipple was fascinating.

(Yes, I’m sure scientists all around the world want to study the way a girl touches her mother’s nipples.)

She repeatedly circled the nipple and then pinched it shortly after.

(Purple nurples during sex. Hot?)

This is was a sort of a reminiscent between Caroline and May,

(Oh, God, WitChan is about to expound upon the mother-daughter relationship. If it is revealed that this lady wanted to fuck her daughter even before this fic, I will personally track down WitChan and assault him. Or at least dox him, so y’all can have at him.)

when Caroline had May as a baby and letting her suck on the nipples. May had to suck the milk out of Caroline nipples but this time, it was different.



She was sucking on Caroline's nipples with a bit of aggression and was toying with one of them.

Finally, May stopped.

(“Bitch, did I tell you you could stop?? Get yo’ whore mouth back on my nipple.”)

Caroline gasped and yet, it was worth it.

(Because she just broke the record of “number of times gasped in a single sexual encounter”, right?)

May was doing a good job on the nipples,

(She won’t break any records, though.)

had it made Caroline went excited with lovely moans.

(I am imagining whale moans, if only because that makes this whole thing much less painful and way funnier.)

The older girl ducked down, pressing her lips on May's right nipple. It made her gasped lightly.

Then, Caroline sucked the nipple. She didn't apply peer pressure on it early.

(“Remember kids, if you’re parents touch you in a place or in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, always just go with it! It’s an educational experience all kids should enjoy!”)

Despite that, May started moaning shortly after. Then, May moved her left hand on Caroline's hair, rubbing it softly. It was exactly the same thing when Caroline rubbed May's hair earlier.

(“You have learned well, my young sex-slave”)

As Caroline when on with her mouth and tongue, she sucked, licked, and slurped it back to back.

(She did what with it? Author, you are just straight-up losing your grip on reality, you are masturbating so hard.)

She slowly went aggressive on it, not making her aggression go up to the extreme like she did in her early days. May moaned louder after Caroline s lips made a slow aggression on her nipple.

(How do you “make” an aggression?)

"Oh mom... please suck my nipple it harder..."

(Are you sure, this lady is already making aggression on it! She might just tear it off if you aren’t careful!)

Surprisingly, May wanted Caroline to suck her nipples harder.

(Right, exactly as the line before just explained to us, thank you for clarifying, author.)

Caroline was happy to hear May's completely unsexy offer, so she went on, sucking the nipple with more aggression.


Part five will be up as soon as my brain stops bleeding.


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Index of Mocks

QUOTE
Mykan: Paragon part of me wnats to see you chained to the wall

QUOTE
Paragon: does the titan break wall maria
Mykan: Yes
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post Mar 31 2012, 07:56 PM
I just started reading this, so I have some catching up to do, but I just want to say this;

QUOTE
(“Wow, pussy, I haven’t seen you in a long time! You and my left hand have some catching up to do!”)


Has to be one of the greatest lines on this site ever.


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post Apr 2 2012, 12:54 PM
Here it is, the finale of this travesty of incest and linguistic rape. If you got a boner reading any of this fic, you deserve to be castrated.


This made May moan ever louder.

(Whereas Caroline was breaking the number of times gasped in a single sex scene, May was trying her hardest to break the sound barrier with her caterwauls of pleasure, which have been rumored to make grown men weep and bleed out of the ears.)

Then, Caroline moved her finger on the left hand, toying with May's left nipple.

(Isn’t it so erotic when authors tell you exactly which hand is doing what to which side of a person’s genitals? No? The author seems to think so!)

Caroline was circling the nipple and then pinched it.

(Purple nurples, a sexy thing to do when having sex.)

She pinched it once more, only this time it was longer.

(Wow, what a necessary detail to this scene. Look at all that relevance.)

May's moan increased, all thanks to Caroline's toying on the left nipple.

(Hoo, boy, I wonder how she’d react to her mom pinching her right nipple!)

Even without the extra help on the left nipple, May would had moan louder if Caroline continued to go aggressive on the right nipple, sucking it longer.

(Yes, readers love hearing about hypothetical actions, not ones that are going on in the actual story. Not that anyone likes this particular fic, I hope.)

The older girl moves over to the left nipple soon after, pressing and sucking on it. She also moved her right hand on the wet and sore nipple, toying with it in soft circles. May makes a moan again.

(Okay, is anyone else feeling the urge to vomit in disgust? It can’t be just me.)

At first, she stopped moaned and gasped

(Hey, that’s your mom’s thing!)

after Caroline let go of her nipples briefly.

May wasn t able to control herself like this. She wanted to tell Caroline to stop but didn't.

(Right, because why on earth would you tell your mother to stop having sex with you?!)

The warm tongue and lips from Caroline made her mind sparkled to the extreme.

(If I ever write an erotic novel, I will be sure to use the phrase “SPARKLED TO THE EXTREME!” somewhere in it. And then shit blows up because of explosive glitter or something.)

And the way that Caroline was toying with May's nipples felt great, yet shocking.

(But is it shocking TO THE EXTREME?!?!?)

As she couldn't take much, May decided to stop her mom from doing this.

(Oh, finally. Is she going to call child protection services, or commit suicide, or kill her mom, or go to therapy at the very least? Knowing how this fic has been going so far, I’m going to guess that it devolves into MORE creepy and retarded sex.)

"Mom... that's enough... I need air..."

(No, dammit, just die and end this madness!)

Caroline let go, only to let May get some air by gasping. It wasn't that violent

(Violent? She was out of breath, not drowning! Drowning in love juices, maybe. That shit’s probably all over the damn room.)

but still, she needed to gasp.

(She wasn’t nearly as good at this gasping thing as her mom, though.)

After the long gasp, May looked at her mom, who was smiling at her the entire time.

(“Mom, that’s really creepy.”)

"Let's do our final thing, May."

(Oh, are they going to commit hara-kiri? Thank fucking God.)

Caroline laid her back on the bathtub, spreading her legs.

(God, how fucked up does a person need to be to even conceive of this, much less write it and get off on it??)

Then, she told May to lie on her pussy with her own.

(WitChan says: “It’s not wrong, her mom did it for educational purposes!”)

May did it as it took her a short time.

(Yeah, author, thank you for that completely unnecessary sentence, we really cared about how much fucking time it took her to start scissoring with her mom.)

She tingled after she pressed her pussy on her mom's. It felt good, as she would think.

(Yes, she would THINK that, the sick little cunt.)

"This is called "scissoring", May. It means two females are touching their pussies together and then start grinding."

(“Golly gee, mom, that’s so neat-o and informative!” Also, I’ve just gotta say that the word ‘pussy’ really bothers me. There are no other good words for it. ‘clitoris’ sounds too clinical, ‘cunt’ sounds too dirty, and ‘pussy’ is just uncomfortable. Female euphemisms really blow suck are ineffecient.)

"Ah... I see. Let's get busy, shall we?"

(Aren’t you already busy? How can you get more busy?)

Caroline smiled and then she controlled May's body with a bit of rocking. Their pussies were squishing one another.

(So disgusting, it’s erotic?)

The older girl told May to rock too so they could make the scissoring better. The younger girl went on with it. This time for her, it felt better.

(Her conscience, however, would never be clean again.)

Shortly after the two rock together, they made their sudden moans, combining it with a sweet tone of melody.

(Whale songs are the only thing that keep me from screaming at my laptop every time I see that phrase.)

To make things better, Caroline grabbed May's back, holding it so May could make perfect balance.

(Is that similar to making an aggression?)

The two speeded up, which made them moan louder. With the louder moan and swift acceleration,

(They broke more and more windows in the house, until the neighbors, fearing burglars, entered the house and discovered the horrendous act taking place. The disturbed neighbors then brutally lynched the two deviants and forgot about the whole affair about a week later. Happy end!)

tears dropped outside their eyes. Even if it made them drop tears along with a high amount of tingling, it was worth it.

(“Oh, yeah, having sex with my mom was totally worth it!” Goddamnit, author, did your mother ever do this to you? Do you even understand the fact that this is one of the most heinous acts I have ever seen commited in fanfiction?)

Finally, the two made an orgasm together.

(Oh, of course, when do people ever NOT have simultaneous orgasm?)

After that, they gasped violently, especially May due to her age.

(Caroline's was not as violent, due to her having far more experience in gasping skills.)

Again, it was worth it.

(The author would like to remind you that he is an irredeemable asshole.)

Once they were done with the violent gasps, the two smiled together.

(Aww, mother-daughter bonding in the worst way possible. Doesn’t it just make you want to puke?)

"Wow, mom... I never thought I'd have so much fun like this... I love you so much for teaching me this stuff."

"Oh, May... I love you too... And I'm glad to teach you this stuff."

(I can imagine a conversation between May and one of her friend’s going kinda like this:
“So, May, what’d you do for mother’s day?”
“Had sex with her.”
“What the hell? You are a sick, twisted motherfucker!!”
"Oh, you have no idea! It was totally worth it!”)

After the short conversation between the two, May went up to her mom's face, pressing her own lips on the MILF's.

(Author, it’s almost like you’re taking pleasure in the fact that this girl just had sex with her mom.)

Again, they were embracing a kiss and this time, May made a slip on the tongue first. This surprised Caroline a bit, not knowing that May would slip first. She was proud of her though.

(My mom is proud when I get good grades. This mom is proud when her daughter uses tongue when they kiss.)

Sometime later, the two were done kissing. It was longer and better than their previous one. They off each other and get out of the bathtub. Caroline turned off the shower. Then, Caroline grabbed two dry towels for herself and May. She gave May one of the towels.

(Goddamn, I just threw up in my mouth a third fucking time. This fic is that disgusting to me!)

Once she did, Caroline was drying May's breasts, making her daughter smile again.

(All these degenerates know how to do is gasp, moan, and smile.)

May also dried off Caroline, which was on her pussy.

(She was on her own pussy? How does that work?)

The two repeated their process as they were drying their private areas on one another.

(They didn’t bother with the rest of their bodies, just the parts that mattered.)

A short time later, they were done. The two climbed up and sat on the bathroom skin counter, grabbing two toothbrushes while putting on them.

(Author, stop masturbating and use your fucking spellcheck!)

The next thing they did was brushing each other's teethes.

(Hot?)

After the tooth brushing, Caroline and May grabbed each brush in the bathroom cabinet.

(And brushed each other’s teeth a second time?)

Then, the two brush each other's hair softly. They'd never done this before in their daily lives and it was their first time.

(May, your mom has never brushed your hair before? Really, you had to learn that on your own?)

Unlike the quality times they did before, today's quality time was ten times better.

(Parental bonding is always better if you have sex with them!)

After brushing each other's hairs, Caroline asks May if she could sleep with her.

(FUCK NO, NOT AGAIN.)

The younger trainer accepted it, making her mother smile brightly like she always do.

(Well, at least the author acknowledged the banality of the smiling.)

The two went to May's room and climbed up the bed. They kiss each other goodnight and then fall asleep.

(While the fic had no idea which tense it was in.)

The End

(Alright, so in case anyone missed the gist of it, we just read a story where a teenage girl becomes a motherfucker in the traditional sense, and the actual motherfucking is the most disgusting thing I have ever read. I’ll be mocking the sequel in this thread, as well. So you have that to look forward to, as well!)


--------------------
Index of Mocks

QUOTE
Mykan: Paragon part of me wnats to see you chained to the wall

QUOTE
Paragon: does the titan break wall maria
Mykan: Yes
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Post #18
Paragon


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post Apr 2 2012, 04:20 PM
Bonus post. Let's see the four reviews this thing got.

QUOTE
This is really bad, bro.


Well, one of the four has taste, or half a brainstem.

QUOTE
Arousing. Not that great, but arousing.


Ugh. Really dude? No, none of this fic is arousing. I don't even like yuri.

QUOTE
That was hot


And you're a disgusting fucktard.

QUOTE
You should have Max return home after sometime, and find out about Caroline and May, and ends up joining them in bed.


...........
...You guys aren't even going to believe what happens in the sequel.
Because it's exactly what that reviewer suggested.


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Mykan: Paragon part of me wnats to see you chained to the wall

QUOTE
Paragon: does the titan break wall maria
Mykan: Yes
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post Apr 3 2012, 12:53 PM
And here we are, the brilliant sequel to "May and Caroline", "May and Caroline 2"! What an apt and clever name for it, author.

The next day, Caroline and May woke up together (and realized that the previous fic was just an awful nightmare. They resolved to go to therapy that very day.). Yesterday, it was a good day for May and especially Caroline.

(She gasped more than she had in years!)

The two hit it off like lovers.

(Implying they didn’t know each other before the sex?)

And the best part for that day was Mother's Day, which was special for the girls.

(Ah, yes, the best part is desecrating a holiday meant to celebrate maternal love and accomplishment. That was the best part.)

Unlike other people that had a typical mother/daughter bond on Mother's Day, the bond between May and Caroline was the most disgusting thing ever conceived by the human brain special.

"Good morning, sweetie." Caroline said, giving May a kiss on the forehead.

"Good morning, mom."

"How was it like sleeping with me?"

(Ah, the soothing natural flow of a conversation with your mom the morning after you had sex with her.)

"It was great."

(Internally, May was contemplating suicide.)

"Ok then. I'll head downstairs and make you breakfast."

(“Great conversation, mom!”)

Caroline got out of the bed, walking out of the room before heading downstairs.

(As opposed to heading downstairs and THEN exiting the room.)

May stared at the woman's ass before exited the room.

(Her mom’s ass left separately?)

The girl was happy that she had a special quality time with her mom but wasn't sure that she like "like" girls.

(You just stared at your mother’s ass. I’m pretty sure that’s an indicator.)

It was her first time having sex with another female and it was great.

(The only two words that the author will use to describe sex are “Great” and “Special quality time”.)

Other than that, May didn't truly have a strong like of girls. Caroline was only teaching May this and that.

(The mom is only doing it to teach her daughter how to have sex? Do schools in the Pokemon world not teach this stuff? Is there no porn available?)

Still, it was special quality time for the two.

(Stop calling it that every two sentences.)

May put on her clothes and went downstairs , feeling the urge to blind herself.

(Did she exit the room beforehand? Because I wouldn’t know if the author didn’t say so.)

On the way down, she saw her naked mom fixing breakfast in the kitchen.

(The stuff of nightmares.)

The girl went over to her mom, touching the woman's shoulder. Caroline turned around after feeling the touch.

"Mom, do I like girls?"

(“Bitch, what did I tell you about asking stupid shit? Shut the fuck up and eat your damn breakfast.”)

"Well, yeah, of course you do. I mean, you had sex with me last night so that means you like girls."

(No, you pretty much forced yourself on your daughter there, mom.)

"But, I'm not sure about that, mom. You were only teaching me this and that

(“This and that”. Is that what the kids are calling it these days?)

and I don't think it really means I like girls. Don't you think I should give a test to see if I like girls?"

(Why would you give a test and not take it? I don’t think this author knows how tests work.)

"You should, if you truly want to discover yourself. But don't touch me though. We'd already have sex yesterday.

(“So you used up all your sex credits.”)

Find a girl you already knew and try to test with her."

(“I already did, mom! I don’t have any female friends, they say they get creeped out by me! That’s why I went to you!”)

"Ok mom. I'll see you later."

(“Great idea mom! Having casual sex with a friend? I never would have though of that, you're a genius!”)

"Don't leave yet, May. You need to need your breakfast first and then you can leave."

May sat at the table, watching her mother cook breakfast.

(“That’s really creepy, honey.”)

A short time later, the breakfast was done.

(Oh, thank God, I was on the edge of my seat wondering if that breakfast would ever get done!)

Caroline gave May a plate of breakfast. Then, May went on and ate her breakfast like a wild animal.

(She ate it like a squirrel?)

She wanted to get this over with so she could hurry and test herself.

(Oh, but I thought she was a “patient girl who could wait a long time for something to get done.” Author, at least destroy characterization consistently!)

After eating her breakfast like a wild animal,

(She ate it like an anteater?)

May burped loudly. Then, she got up, leaving out of the kitchen. "Good-bye mom. I'll see you later."

"Good luck, sweetie."

(Her mother is not a human being, what the hell.)

May opened the door and left out of the house like a wild animal, closing the door afterwards. The girl hadn't been outside since yesterday, before she visited her mother on Mother's Day.

(She had sex with her mom all day long? Nobody has that kind of endurance.)

But, she needed to, only the test a girl she knew, to see if she truly loves girls.

(And, I needed to, try to save, the commas, from being abused.)

Sometime later, May was still searching for someone she knew.

(I doubt you’d just find someone by walking around. Not a very effective person, this May.)

It's been a few hours since she began her search and yet, couldn't find anyone she knew.

(Probably because she’s searching in the most inefficient manner possible.)

Suddenly, she caught a glimpse in her eye.

(Ugh, I hate it when those glimpses get caught in my eye.)

She finally found a girl she knew besides her mom. It was Misty.

(And here is where it starts getting worse. Prepare yourselves.)

May went over to her face to face, smiling.

(Went over to her face to face? Author, what does that even mean?)

Misty smiled too, had she saw May running towards her.

(Yes, IF she had seen May running towards her, she smiled.)

"Misty, it's been a long time since we met each other. How's it been?"

(For God’s sake, nobody has seen anybody in a long time in this fic. Do they know how to greet each other in any other way?)

"It's been well, May. What about you?"

(“Fucked my mom yesterday, trying to figure out if I’m into chicks or not.”)

(“Oh, that’s good, how has your career been treating you?”)

"I'm doing good Misty.

(Well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. She’ll do good Misty in a few paragraphs.)

Say, you do want to have a private conversation with me, in the woods?"

(That’s about as subtle as “Get in my van, I have candy.”)

"Sure, why not?"

(You deserve the horribly written stuff coming to you, you stupid little twit.)

"Ok then. Let's get going. I don't want people to hear the rest of our conversation."

(May is really doing a good job of convincing us that she’s a rapist. Prepare for even more yuri “erotica” in the coming parts, folks.)


--------------------
Index of Mocks

QUOTE
Mykan: Paragon part of me wnats to see you chained to the wall

QUOTE
Paragon: does the titan break wall maria
Mykan: Yes
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Post #20
Paragon


Great Googly Moogly
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post Apr 10 2012, 09:23 AM
(So, instead of relaxing poolside for spring break, I figured I should keep mocking this piece of fuck. Actually, I'm just severely sunburned, and I have some downtime. I don't know which is more painful: the sunburn or this fanfic.

May and Misty left, heading straight to the woods.

(The woods? Really if the end goal is sex, why go to the woods? Sex in the woods sounds pretty uncomfortable. Also, May, you weren't trained in forest sex, this is WAY TOO DANGEROUS!)

After walking shortly, Misty stopped. "Damn shoelaces. I need to tie this stuff tight."

(Mm, yeah, you tie that shit, damn shoelaces are such a turn-on....)

Misty went down to her shoes, tying the shoelaces. May took a sharp glimpse

(Is that like "glaring daggers"? Or was that just an intentional pun? Probably neither, this guy isn't smart enough to know how to use puns.)

at Misty's ass, staring at it. She couldn't lay her eyes off it, had she tried second after second.

(Sounds like you weren't trying hard enough. Asses are not visual black holes, girlie.)

Then, she raised her left hand, trying to slap Misty's ass

(NO NOT WITH THE LEFT HAND IT'S TOO DANGEROUS)

but didn't as Misty turned around, smiling at her.

(God, having sex with your mom turns you into a goddamn creepy rapist.)

"I'm done, May. Let's get going."

The girls resume walking on foot.

(As opposed to the non-foot walking they were doing before?)

May walked a few steps behind Misty, couldn't stop staring at her ass.

(Nevermind, Misty's ass is, in fact, a visual black hole. Once you start looking at it, you cannot stop.)

The Hoenn trainer made a sudden attraction to Misty.

(Oh, that must be similar to making an aggression.)

To her, Misty looked slightly different but more beautiful along with a breast and ass enlargement.

(Then that means that she probably got a facelift, a boobjob and an assjob, if that's what that's called.)

It was an effect from May's sexual encounter from her mother.

(So she sees everyone in beer goggle vision now. I totaly called it: her mom is not human.)

At first, she wasn't sure if she'd an attraction with other girls but now, she did.

(Author, how do you English.)

She nearly made a move on Misty, attempting to slap her ass

(Was it with her right hand this time? Author you can't just not tell us!!!)

but failed when Misty turned around.

(Bitch, you can only try to slap someone's ass so many times before they just beat the shit out of you.)

She'll have another chance when the two entered the woods, trying to test herself again.

(Wait, so they entered the woods...after they had been walking in the woods..?)

A short time later, they made it to the woods.

(Okay, are they in the woods or not?)

Then, May said, "So, how did your adventure go after you left me and the rest of the crew?"

(Did they ever interact in canon, or am I just remembering shit wrong? I haven't watched the Pokemon anime since I was like ten, so I don't remember much besides thinking that Togepi was the most fucking annoying thing ever.)

"It went well, May."

(Everyone in this fic just undereacts to anything that is not sex, I guess.)

"Ah, I see. Did you have a "wild encounter" during your adventure?"

(If you count that one time with the wild Venonat on Route 23, then hell yeah they had a wild encounter. Oh, did you mean sex?)

"Not really. I haven't encountered anything wild or bizarre while I was venturing alone."

(Damn, that must have been one boring-ass adventure.)

"Oh, ok then.

(How not to write conversation in fanfic: A guide presented by WitChan.)

Oh, and your shoes are untied again. I forgot to tell you while we were walking."



"They're untied again? I don't know what's wrong with these damn shoes. I need to wear my old ones again in case this stuff happens again."

(WitChan writes conversations about shoelaces better than he writes his sex scenes. Oh, shit Wild SexScene appears!)

Misty went down on her shoes, tying them again.

(Wild SexScene used Uninteresting Detail! Paragon is bored!)

Suddenly, May made a move on Misty, slapping the older girl's ass.

(Wild SexScene used BadTouch! Paragon is enraged! Paragon used Anti-Reference! Refrences to Pokemon games will no longer be used!)

Misty felt it with a sudden blush and turned around.

(She felt it with her blush? Author, the way you think female anatomy works is absolutely stunning.)

She was surprised.

(You don't say. I'd be a little worried if she wasn't surprised. I mean, who expects a slap on the ass?)

"What was that for, May?"

(...Is she fucking serious? How dense do you think females are, WitChan?!)

May was also surprised that Misty didn't have a heavy reaction.

(Everybody is surprised at everything!)

"I was just... um... could you turn around and bend over for me? I need to do it quick."

(Um, what the fuck does that even mean WitChan? She could be talking about tying her friend's goddamn shoes!)

"Ok... then..."

(Well, this is just getting more and more unreal.)

Misty turned back around, bending over for May. The smaller girl slapped Misty's ass again.

(Because ass-slapping is really that sexy, WitChan? Do you even know how lesbians interact? Have you read the fucking 'book'?)

After that, May touched Misty's left breast, massaging it.

(NO NOT THE LEFT BREAST IT'S TOO DANGEROUS)

"I thought you said you were done, May..."

"Sorry, I changed my mind."

(Is this coming off as rape-y to anyone else? Just me?)

May continued to massage Misty's left breast and then massaged the other breast on her right hand.

(Was it the right breast? Does she have three breasts? Author, if you don't tell us this, we will start assuming shit.)

Misty tried to resist May's action but couldn't.

("That Rohypnol does wonders, doesn't it?")

The breast massaging from May felt good. It was like the back-massaging Misty had a few months ago, but felt it in a different area.

(How insightful.)

But this one was better.

(This chick is practically raping you.)

May left go one of her hands,

(As opposed to "'right' go one of her hands"?)

traveling it to Misty's ass and slapped it.

(Her hand's vacation home on Misty's ass is supposedly quite lovely.)

Then, she traveled more, reaching down to Misty's pussy and rubbed it.

(Her hand also owns an awesome yacht on lake Misty's Pussy.)

Misty loved it and all but she was having a slight problem.

(May's hand, inexperienced with the lesbian arts, became stuck in Misty's hooch.)

May, a girl, was doing this to her and she always had a nice edge over boys.

(Wait, "And edge over boys?" What does that mean? That she's super butch?)

She didn't know if she could like boys, girls, or even both.

(I'm pretty sure you're capable. Most human beings are capable of being attracted to some other human being.)

It was a tough decision

(There is so much wrong with that sentence, I won't even touch it, because I think I'd go on for about three minutes.)

but then, she gasped,

(Of course she did. All females gasp all the fucking time, as demonstrated the last fic.)

feeling the part where May circled her finger outside the pussy like a bird of prey circling its prey. Then, she received a kiss on the lips, feeling May's warm lips on hers. To Misty, it felt really good.

(If you say so, author.)

The older girl touched May's left breast with her left hand, massaging it like May did with her breasts.

(May's left hand is only good for grabbing left-most breasts.)

She also used her right hand to slap May's ass and then squeezed it afterwards.

(Okay, really, is ass-slapping that hot?)

After that, May did a slip on the tongue on Misty's own tongue. Misty retaliated with her own slip on the tongue.

(Okay, what the fuck are you trying to say author, that made no fucking sense.)

Together, the two tongue-kiss and touch each other like this.

(And we just switched tenses again.)

Misty never thought she could do something amazing to another girl.

(You still aren't; you're just slapping her ass.)

She tried to do it to the opposite sex but failed.

(I'd say most males don't appreciate being slapped on the ass.)

Not a single male mate with her during her adventures and whatsoever.

(I will not put a 'forever alone' pic here, because that meme needs to die in a hole.)

Misty always fantasized about it but it was always about kissing and nothing else.

(Then you weren't fantasizing about 'mating', you idiot.)

But those days were over. Misty was glad that someone could do her like this and it was a girl, which was May, her longtime friend.

(This is the stupidest thing.)

The two continued to kiss and touch each other without letting go.

(Did they use Gorilla Glue for lube again?)

Their pussies were also wet, which was better for their sexual activity.

(But they aren't doing anything with them right now, so that detail is comepletely pointless.)

The two finally stopped,

(But did they let go? That's what I want to know.)

staring at each other with lovely looks. Then, Misty said, "Wow, I never thought I could do something amazing like this. I mean, I thought I would do this to a boy one day but you, a girl, did this to me. Thank you so much for making me happy."

(GLUUUUURRRRRRGE. Blah, blah, blah, author. I don't give a shit about this.)

"No problem, sweetie." May smiled again, slapping Misty's ass.

(Okay, really? That's not hot, that's fucking rude. Well, there's the second part of the first chapter.)

This post has been edited by Paragon: Apr 13 2012, 11:12 AM


--------------------
Index of Mocks

QUOTE
Mykan: Paragon part of me wnats to see you chained to the wall

QUOTE
Paragon: does the titan break wall maria
Mykan: Yes
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