Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )

 
Reply to this topicStart new topic
> Bad Memories, ...well more like Lame, Half-Assed Memories (Chobits)
Post #1
Airrider


I Accidentally The Planetarium
****

Group: Members
Posts: 216
Joined: 7-February 12
Member No.: 605
Gender: Male



post Mar 26 2012, 08:56 AM
I've alluded in my introduction and a few posts that I'm a big Chobits fan. I champion the series, say there's more to it than really tired Skynet jokes and a robot girl with a really badly-placed reset switch (or at least try), turn to the fandom...and see that they hardly help. At all.

I need a break from Anime Ambush, which I'm contemplating speeding along by condensing the battle sequences from their respective parts into two big megachapters, and I need to do something simpler, something which only needs a little push (and someone's snide remarks) to be funny. This one isn't one of those really messed-up fanfics but it is a really dumb one, and these are the ones that set themselves up for jokes the best in my opinion.

Imagine you threw both Chobits anthologies at a 14-year-old and told them to skim them for about an hour and a half. Then bring them in and ask them to give you a recap and their own story based on what they knew. You wouldn't get THIS, but you'd probably get something close. Welcome to Bad Memories, probably the second-lamest attempt at a Chobits fanfiction I've seen, at least on FF.net.

This is a fic near and dear to my heart because long ago it was the first thing I ever riffed. I only ever shared the original with friends in private, and it was designed more like a traditional MSTing which means I can't transpose that old relic. But at least it's something I know really, really well and haven't published anywhere else.

It is also so short that I can afford to riff all four chapters in one go. As usual, the story will be flat AFTER white and my comments in that nice shade of blue.


***


Chobits

"A New World"

A dramatization of the first explorers to come to America?

It's been a long hard year with our Shimbo

As opposed to those other Shimbos, like that one I've got that's still in the shop.

for Hideki living life in the big city instead of the country with his persacom that's he found in a bus stop surrounded by trash…

Little-known fact: Chii was slated to be Oscar the Grouch's Japanese counterpart before Hideki came along.

Hideki's been living in his new apartment for a few months now and it's hard enough not having any real friends within reach to connect to, let alone living with a brain dead, illiterate persacom with a vocabulary of about 25 words whom is always getting lost…

It's not like they're the protagonists we're suppose to empathize with and watch grow or anything...
Our narrator, people!


While Shimbo lives the good life in the country with his Educator of a wife leaving poor old Hideki to look after Plum, the hyperactive mobile persacom…

While Hideki tries his hardest to live in the big city helpless and alone to find out he has been expelled from school from the misuse of the school computers "Porn Sites".

See, if Motosuwa used those school porn sites PROPERLY, this wouldn't have happened.

Just to make his day just a bit worse he came home to find to find an eviction notice on his apartment door and all of his stuff in the corridor along with Chi and Plum.

Watch, they're gonna run into Keiichi and Belldandy and feel the biggest case of deja vu...

Now they had no place to go but out onto the evil streets of Tokyo…

Hideki: Why is this all happening to me?

...*stares blankly at Simple Plan CD*
...*tosses it blithely away*
Because the story wouldn't have a reason to start otherwise.


Am I cursed or am I strewn full of bad luck! I should never have left the country; I should have stayed where I was! Nothing good has happened to me ever since I got here…Ahh!

Chi: Chi isn't good? Chi Sorry!

Plum: Get scary man away!

Hideki: I'm sorry Chi! I'll try hard to remember the good times we've had together! Don't worry Chi; you're the best thing that has ever happened to me!

Plum: Hmph! What about me you silly human?

Hideki: You too Plum, even though you are the most annoying thing I have ever come across.

Sumomo: Why, thank you, Hid-HEY!

Don't worry guys if we just stick together we…?

Plum: HEY! You better not mean that you big fat meanie!

Hideki: Well we need somewhere to stay and I have no idea what so ever as to where we are going to sleep tonight…I'm sorry guys.

Plum: Bus shed, bus shed, bus shed!

Rah, rah, bus shed! Rah, rah, bus shed! GOOOOOO SHED!

Hideki: Great! What a good idea!

Chi closes her eyes!

And sees trippy-ass Gmod animations from YouTube?

Dark Chi: Chi! Stay away from that bus shelter

For stray, neglected or abused buses, or buses that were given up by their previous owners.

or you will suffer grave danger!

Chi: Why?

Dark Chi: Just do what I say Chi, it's for the best!

Chi opens her eyes!

Hideki: Come on Chi!

Chi: Chi has bad feeling!

Chii's been working on her Obi-Wan impression for an upcoming convention. Progress is slow.

Hideki: Ok then Chi, where else do you propose we sleep tonight? I don't here any suggestions coming from you!

Plum: DANGER WILL ROBINSON! DANGER! DANGER WILL ROBINSON, DANGER!

Chi: Chi wants to go away!

Chii: Take this story and shove it!

Hideki: Come on Chi nothing will happen to you! I Promise!

Chi: Hmmm!

Chii needs to think and she's gonna be REALLY LOUD about it!

Plum: I thought you said you were scared stupid!

That's cute, Sumomo. I'LL point out story mistakes, if you don't mind!

Hideki: Just rest Chi!

Plum: Zzzzzzz!

Aw, c'mon kiddo, what'd I JUST say?

When Chi falls asleep Hideki lays on his back and blocks out all noise like he was meditating and he thinks to him self about all the good times he had with Shimbo before he did a runner and eloped with the Educator…

Takako Shimizu apparently now the E-800 Educator...
...goddammit, fanfic, now I'M the one making Skynet references in a Chobits work. Good job.


Then he thought about all the good times he had, had with Chi and when he found her wrapped up and turned off in the trash and how he longs that Chi was a human…

Hideki didn't really want to think about Plum even though they had been growing closer to her over time but his most treasured memory was when he first turned Chi on and when she spoke her first word…

In short, "read the manga, people."

When morning came everyone woke hoping that last night was all a dream and that they really weren't out on the street but the reality is that they were and they had no where to go…

TBC…

What does the Texas Border Coalition have to do with this story?

Authors Note: I had a great time writing this chapterbanging this out over the span of eight minutes and I hope you liked reading it and if you have any questions just send me a message…If I don't get 5 reviews from 5 different people on this FanFic I won't be continuing the chapters

Hey, it worked for My Immortal...

on but if I find that people like it I would be delighted to keep writing them…

Three more where that one came from. Here comes the second chapter.

Chobits

From Previous Chapter:

When morning came everyone woke



hoping that last night was all a dream and that they really weren't out on the street but the reality is that they were and they had no where to go…

TBC…

To be con-of COURSE it's being continued, what idiot would put a chapter recap for their fanfiction and then end it there with no chapter afterwards?

"Mechanical Romance – Forbidden Love"
When they woke up Hideki noticed that Chi wasn't within sight or reach which sent Hideki into a frantic rush trying to look for her.

Oh, don't worry about her, she's just off to go buy more underpants.

Plum was absolutely tired and could hardly see until she smacked herself in the head.

Hey, I saw that facepalm! Sumomo, stop riffing the fic and leave some for me!

Hideki and Plum were set out to find out where Chi was…

Hideki: CHI! CHI!

Plum: Shut up you fool!

Sumomo: That might bring her here! We're supposed to make looking for Chii as hard as possible!

Hideki: Plum? Did you see anything last night?

Plum: No not that I can remember but lets see if my hard drive picked anything up last night!

So Sumomo didn't see anything but she could've seen something.


Hideki: Well hurry up!

Plum: Found something, found something, found something!

Hideki: Show me it then! My life just keeps getting worse doesn't it because now the most important person in my life has gone missing! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!

Hideki Motosuwa-the other, older Shinji Ikari.

Plum: Watch carefully human dumby!

Hideki's green and made of clay?

Plum had picked something up on her video camera in her scrunchie, which showed a black figured emerging from the darkness, turning Chi off and picking her up and taking her back into the black of the night…

When Batman needs a persocom, he GETS it.

When Hideki saw this figure he was so worried but he knew he had to keep watching for any more clues to see if we could find Chi before something happens to her…

Hideki and Plum watch and Hideki notices that the man dropped something as he was leaving and it looked like he was dropping it on purpose and not by accident…

Especially since it was an M18 Claymore.

Hideki: Plum do you see anything?

Plum: No, No, NO!

Hideki: Well what's this then?

Hideki bent down underneath the bus shelter seat to find

The Claymore.

...alright, fine, maybe not.

a dark brown business card that read "Meet Me At The Clock Tower At 12 Tonight". Hideki stood silent and still for a while and then he made a mad dash down the street…

And then becomes Alyssa Hamilton.

Plum: Where are you going?

Hideki: Hurry up Plum! What are we supposed to do? Just stand here and wait until 12 o'clock!

Sumomo: But it's nine AM!

Plum: Well slow down stupid head!

Hideki: I can't slow down I must find Chi!

Hideki and Plum searched everywhere but they couldn't find traces of Chi anywhere…Hideki thought it was over until he noticed a distinct trail of letters

...oh my GOD, Chii's been kidnapped and taken to Sesame Street!

reading "You'll Never Get Me"

Which is why Batman Chii's kidnapper is leaving a trail of letters.

…So Hideki and Plum followed the cards until…

...he got all 52 and became Master of the Clow!
What? CLAMP crosses shit over all the time, I can't?


Plum: Where are you taking me you freak?

Hideki: I thought persacoms were supposed to be smart?

Plum: Shoosh up you dumby!

Sumomo: Why don't you go off and play with Pokey or the Blockheads or something?

Hideki: Were following the business cards somewhe…

Plum: WOAH!

And immediately Hideki neighs and whinnies.

Hideki and Plum had come to the end of the business card trail and they were led straight to are big tower, quite a suspicious looking tower really

Its wanted posters were all over town.

so they thought they would go and check it out…

Hideki: I wonder what's in this big place?

Plum: Maybe my friend Chi is here!

This is what happens when nobody reads their script beforehand. It's really pathetic.

Wait I remember this place!

Hideki: WHAT?

Plum: This day comes for all persacoms!

TUESDAY!

Hideki: What day? What's going on Plum!

Plum: Chi has gone to meet her maker!

You mean Ichiro Mihara's still alive?

SHE HAS A GLITCH!

Hideki: Can we save her from…What's going to happen to her again?

Well damn if I know, this story hasn't explained a damn thing so far...

Plum: Nothing much all they do is crush them into oblivion!

Tech support just decides to go "fuck it."

Hideki: Oh My God! Is there any way I can save her?

Plum: I don't know! LALALALALALALALALA!



Hideki: I know how we can get her back!

Plum: HOW!

Hideki: You can contact her by hacking her hard drive!

Pinpointing her location with wireless signals or e-mailing her? Pfffft! NOODLE IN HER MEMORIES FIRST!

Plum: Ah ok, I can try!

Hideki: What's wrong with her?

Plum: She was in love!

Hideki: In love? With who?

The role of Hideki Motosuwa will be reprised by Dory in this fanfiction.

Plum: Stupid humans! YOU, YOU IDIOT!

Hideki: What's wrong with that?

Plum: The golden rule of being a persacom is never to fall in love with a human! talk about Fight Club!

Hideki: Awwww! "Blush, Blush"

Yeah, well blush blush to you too, Hideki!

Hideki thought to himself that Chi was always to pretty for him and that she would probably like some really good looking, cool Persacom and not just an ordinary human!

Hideki figured thinking in infodumps would be more convenient for the audience.

Chi closes her eyes!

And opens them. This is called "blinking."

Dark Chi: What's happening Chi?

Freya: 'sup?

Chi: Chiiii!

Dark Chi: If you keep acting like this the worst will come of you!

Freya: Bye now.
I just love how little help Freya's being in this fic when she's nearly killed a guy for Chii's protection in the series. It's like "Busting Chii out of a peep show? Fine. Strangling Dragonfly? Yeah, I'm cool. Not-Batman? OOOH NO THANKS, THAT'S TOO RICH FOR ME!"


Chi opens her eyes!

Plum: I've got her online Hideki! You silly idiot!

Hideki: Hello Chi!

Chi: Chi's alone! Chi's dark!

Easy kiddo, you're stepping on your sister Freya's shtick.

Hideki: I LOVE YOU CHI!

Chi: Chi love you t…

Hideki: CHIIIIII!

Chii wasn't hurt or anything, Hideki just stepped on her line to get to his dramatic moment.

Later on that night after Hideki had finished crying like a baby he remembered he needed to go to the clock tower to get Chi back…

Hideki: HELLO!

Plum: STOP YELLING SMELLY!

Why? he hasn't yelled "smelly" all day!

Oh bite me, it's fun.

Hideki: CHI! CHI!

Chi: Hideki!

Plum: Did you hear that Hideki?

Hideki: Way ahead of you Plum!

Hideki and Plum get to the top of the tower to find Chi alone and bound by the hands…

Now all I need is for Hideki to get on a motorcycle and a giant bat to show up and my Meat Loaf album cover will be complete!

Hideki: CHI! Are you ok?

Chi: Chiii!

Hideki: Who did this to you Chi? Tell me who did this and they will pay the dire consequences!

A little late to go all Henry Freeman, pal!

Hideki then noticed that Chi's eyes were watering…He didn't think persacoms leaked but then he realized that it was tears coming out her eyes…As far as Hideki and Plum were concerned, persacoms couldn't cry or feel pain and when you cry you feel pain to so…

Hideki: TEARS!



Plum: TEARS!


...erm, pluralized!

Hideki: PAIN! ANGUISH! HOW COULD THIS BE!

OSCAR CLIP

TBC…
Authors Note: I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as the last one because there are many more to come only if you review…

IM NOT GOIN TO POST NEMORE NTIL I GET 5 GUD REVEWS
...and yes, the author does this every chapter. Like in the next one, coming right now!


Chobits

In case you forgot.

From Previous Chapter:

Hideki: TEARS!

Plum: TEARS!

Hideki: PAIN! ANGUISH! HOW COULD THIS BE!

TBC…

Morose rumination: "To Be Or Not To Be"

Hideki: What on earth is happening? Chi? Are you seeping acid

...Chii's a xenomorph?

or are you breaking down? What is wrong with you!

Plum: I think, I think?

Therefore I am, I am!

She's crying!

Chi: Chi!

Hideki: Plum, what's happening to her?

Plum: I don't know! "CHECKING HARD DRIVE"

Hideki: Anything?

Sumomo: No, I was checking mine. Now for Chii...

Plum: Not yet! Hold on!

Hideki had no idea that persacoms could cry but even though their was no other explanation.

Hideki: She must be! She can't be! She is!

It's a homerun! What a game! What a play! WHAT AN UPSET!

Plum: What?

Hideki: Nothing, I said nothing, nothing at all!

Chi: Chi sad!

Hideki: Don't worry Chi we will fix you!

He has the technology!

That's if we can find out what's wrong with you first!

Hideki, Plum and Chi all get up off the ground in the clock tower and plummet off it like Assassins they notice a part of Chi's mechanical ears missing but they didn't bother saying anything because that would only cause fuss for poor old Chi. Hideki and Plum take Chi to the closest shelter they could find you see if she was alright…

As for untying Chii, though, that never crossed their minds.

Hideki: Chi! Are you alright?

Chi closes her eyes!

Dark Chi: Chi they know too much!

Freya: Ya gotta whack 'em!

Chi: Chi's Confused!

You and me both, sister!

Chi opens her eyes!

Chi: Mmmmm!

Hideki: What is it Chi?

Plum: I'm cold Mister!

Sumomo: Mister...who are you again?

Hideki: Shut up for a sec Plum! Something's up with Chi…

Chi: Mmmmm!

Chii: Delicious!

Hideki: Chi, tell me what's wrong!

Chi: Mmmmm!

Hideki: We need to get her to the closest persacom mechanic!

They need to rotate her tires!

Plum checked the Internet for the closest repairer she could find but there was no luck at all because it was to early for anything to be open. So they all went to the closest bench and sat their until 8 o clock'…

Plum: It's just up this street!

Hideki: I just hope that this mechanic can find out what's wrong with our Chi!

The Chii they have back at home doesn't do any of this...

"Knock, Knock"

Mechanic: How can I help you!

Hideki: We have a broken persacom and we were hoping that you would tell us what is wrong with her and if you could fix her…

Mechanic: Ummm! She seems ok to me!

Mechanic: Not that I looked at her or anything, but...

Hideki: But she's not talking as much as usual and she, she is, she's crying!

Mechanic: Don't talk nonsense! Persacoms cannot under any circumstance cry!

If they do, they're immediately disqualified for unsportsmanlike conduct!

Hideki: Well she's also in love!

Mechanic: In love? With who!

Hideki: Me!

Mechanic: A HUMAN! No, no, no, no, no, no!

Hideki: Well yeah! She has!



Plum: She really has silly man!

Mechanic: Well I'm sorry but I cant issue any repairs…. as you should know that I have signed a contract forbidding me from the practice of repairing corrupt persacoms!

Chii's been embezzling funds for years!

Hideki: OH SHIT!

Mechanic: But I can tell you the biggest secret in town!

Hideki: Ahhhh!

-va, Nagila, Hava Nagila, Hava...

Mechanic: If you go to the center hall in Tokyo Town you can see a little blue door! Go through that door and you will find a repairer The Doctor O.K!

So Hideki, Plum and Chi made their way down the street to Tokyo Town and found the little blue door and crept through it trying not to be seen by and people…

Shop KeeperThe Doctor: How may I help you?

Hideki: Well I have a broken persacom and she's kind of corrupt since she has fallen in love with me paid off powerful politicians under the table and she's been crying…

Shop Keeper: I see! Come this way!

Plum: I don't think this is a good idea!

Oh, it's alright, he's just gonna wave his sonic screwdriver at her for a couple minutes and...

Hideki: Shut up Plum!

Shop Keeper: What seems to be the problem!

Hideki: I just told you?

Shop Keeper: That's right! She has a disease!

She has Chobit-itis.

Hideki: NO! She acting like a, a, a human!

Shop Keeper: Oh I see!

Betcha this loser's just some guy who broke into the shop posing as The Doctor over here.

Hideki: Can you fix her?

Shop Keeper: Maybe?

"Shop Keeper rubs his fingers together"

He's playing the World's Smallest ViolinTM to annoy Hideki.

Hideki: I'm sorry we have no money!

Shop Keeper: GET OUT OF MY SHOP!

Hideki: BU…?

Shop Keeper: OUT!

Plum: SCARY MAN!

So Hideki, plum and Chi were back on the streets all choked up and broken with no where to go…

So...what happened to Hideki's job at the bar? Or Chii's?

Plum: It's all your fault you big stupid ass!

Hideki: I'm sorry Chi!

Chi: Chi forgives you…

It's not Hideki's fault he's a chunkhead.

Chi closes her eyes!

Chi: What's happening to me?

Dark Chi: Your true form is revealing itself…

She is turning into...SAILOR CHII!

Chi: What?

Chi opens her eyes!

TBC…
Authors Note: You silly heads I have only continued this series from demand of my friends so you better review me PLEASE! R & R! If you don't like it….pft I'll get over it unless you don't tell me….O.K!

And now, the final installment of...whatever this is supposed to be.

Chobits

From Previous Chapter:

Chi closes her eyes!

Chi: What's happening to me?

Dark Chi: Your true form is revealing itself…

Chi: What?

Chi opens her eyes!

"Betrayal"

You just shot Church, you teamkilling fucktard!

Hideki knew that Chi wasn't the most efficient persacom but he didn't know she could get this bad.

I blame the author.

Hideki: Plum. I just wish for Chi to get over all this sadness and emotion…

Plum: Hmph! Yeah!

Hideki: She's just getting worse as we go on and I don't what I'll do if I lose her…Cause like whenever she runs away I'm worried like shit and now if she shuts down or gets smashed into oblivion I'll be even more saddening for you and that's the last thing I want for you Plum…!

Oh, yeah, sure, never mind Chii getting killed to death, how will SUMOMO feel about it?

Plum: That's sweet Hideki! Thanks!

Sumomo and Hideki, OTP.

Hideki: If only we could find out what's wrong with her and a way to stop it that doesn't cost money might I add…!

Plum: Well this kind of thing has happened before to one of my old friends! She fell in love with her owner and she had to be turned off but none of this crying and emotional nonsense happened…

You can see why Sumomo's such a cheerful, comic relief element to the Chobits universe, can't you?

Hideki: Why did you just tell me this? We could have used this information to try and find out what's up with poor Chi! Anyway who was the owner?

Plum: It's kind of Minoru!

Almost Minoru, but not quite. "I Can't Believe It's Not Minoru."

He was so sad when he had to turn her off and I just don't want you to have to turn Chi off…

Well technically she COULD, but wouldn't Sumomo have to crawl all the way up [REDACTED]

So that's why I didn't tell you…

Hideki: I knew Minoru was like the creator of some of the Chobits (SPOILER: He isn't) but I thought he knew all the rules and I didn't think he was one for rebelling…Well if this has happened to him before he's bound to know what to do with poor Chi!

Plum: Well you were expelled from school because of obvious reasons "PORN SITES"

Jesus, what happened prior to this story to make Sumomo so mean-spirited? Did someone piss on her power adapter or something?

and now we have no way of contacting Minoru…

Yeah, I know! If only Sumomo were some kind of, like, tiny computer that could e-mail Minoru, I mean, he's got lots of computers and-OH WAIT

Hideki: Plum Minoru is like one of my good friends; I think I know where he lives…

Plum: Oh, well lets go then…But before we go how do we get out of here through all these crowds…?

Hideki: I was wondering why all these people were here! Maybe there's a performer or something…

Crowds? In Tokyo? Surely you jest!

Plum: Lift me up and I'll take a look…But don't jiggle me around you might delete some of my knowledge from my "ram"…

Not her REAL random access memory, just a placebo.

Hideki: Ok Plum, but where will I put Chi down…?

Sumomo: How about in the middle of this four-way intersection...

Plum: Oh don't worry I'll just crawl up the front and have a look, I'll be right back with the news…

And weather!

Hideki: Don't take too long; all I need is for you to go missing and another thing for me to worry about…

Yeah, if we lose Sumomo, who will we have to randomly berate everybody?

Plum: Alright!

Hideki: Chi! Chi! Wake up…open your eyes…are you ok?

Chi: Chi is fine! Chi was dreaming of Hideki!

Hideki: Oh that's nice! What exactly were you dreaming of me doing or saying?

I think she's dreaming of him untying her already.

Chi: I can't remember!

Plum: HIDEKI! CHI! HIDEKI! SOMEONE HELP ME I'm BEING SQUASHED! HELP!

Hideki: Chi stay right here I have to go and help Plum before she's squashed to a micro chip pulp…!

Screw that, I'm rooting for the crowd! Go all Riverdance on her ass!

Plum: QUICK HIDEKI! I'm BEING TRAMPLED ON…HEY YOU STUPID HUMAN GET YOUR FOOT OFF!

Bystander: What a rude persacom…!

Oh, finally! Somebody else finally recognizes it!

Hideki: Plum! Where are you I can't see you…?

Plum: I'm right here dummy…you took long enough, I was squashed by silly people…

Hideki: Welp, on second thought, screw you, bitch. Back in you go.
Sumomo: AAAAUGH!


Hideki: Well we have to get back to Chi as quick as we can, I left her to come and get you!

Plum: Where is she? Don't tell me you lost her again…!

Hideki: She was just there! Now's she's not!



Where could she have gotten to? CHI!

Plum: CHI! CHI!

Chi: Chi! Chi! Chi! Chi over here!

Hideki: Is that Chi up on the stage with, with, with Minoru?

Let's see what he, he, he wants! Boy, this could get, get, get annoying...

Plum: I think so…! But why is she up there?

She's gonna crowd-surf.

Hideki: Well we better move on up there to see what's going on! Come on Plum…!

Plum: OK! Hideki why don't you just ask nicely next to you rude homo sapien

Hideki and Plum make there way through the crowds up to the font stage to find Minoru and Chi standing on the stage talking with each other like their related or something…

Minoru, as well, forgets to untie Chii.

Hideki: Minoru! Minoru! Down here! It's me, Hideki!

Minoru: Oh hey Hideki! What are you doing here?

Minoru: Go away or I'm getting the AK-47!

Don't you live on the other side of town or something…?

Hideki: Yeah I used to, that was until I was evicted without notice…But the question isn't why I'm here it's why is she up there with you?

Minoru: Who's up here?

What? You were just talking with Chii! Focus, dude, focus!

Are you talking about Chi! Were friends…you know that!

Hideki: Um! Yeah I guess so…! So how's life been treating you Minoru!

Minoru: I'm just fine living in my big old mansion all on my own except for the butcher, the bake and the candle stick maker and the other maids and butlers!

Jesus, even Minoru's an ass in this story.

What about you, how's life treating you…?

Hideki: Pretty shit actually! My persacom is kind of broken…! I need to talk to you about because I have no idea what's happening…

Neither do I, man. How'd this even get started, anyway? Miss Hibiya, his landlady, is a saint; she isn't precisely the kind to just throw schlubs out on the street...

Minoru: Yeah I need to talk to you as well…some one looking for you and Chi came to me to ask…She was with another man! They said their names were Zima and Dita!

So they're hemaphrodite persocoms?

They were pretty strange looking…

Well they WOULD be if they were designed to be shemales...

Hideki: Nope, never heard of them…maybe they have the wrong person!

Chi closes her eyes!

Dark Chi: Those guys are closing in Chi!

And so Freya activates ECMs and CIWS...

Chi: Who are you and why are you saying all this?

Wow, Chii's short-term memory loss is right about on par with Hideki's in this feature.

Dark Chi: Ahh?

Chi opens her eyes!

Minoru: Well we can't talk here! We could always go back to my house!

Hideki: Ok, isn't it just around the corner…?

Where the hell is all this in relation to one another anyway? And why is Minoru live in concert? Slow down, fanfic! It's not gonna hurt you! I guess what I want to say is...


Minoru: But first I have to finish up her! I have just invented the best upgrade for persacoms ever…!

It's gonna be totally radical to the max!

Hideki: Oh ok, we could wait for a while I guess! We have no where else to go…

Hideki, Plum and Chi waited for Minoru…They waited for 5 hours…but they stayed and waited because they knew they had to sort this shit out with poor old Chi! But Hideki was still wondering why people (Zima and Dita)

Cut that out, fanfic, we don't have your attention span, you know!

were looking for him…

Oh, I get it, this is the muscle Freya sent to whack Hideki and Sumomo!

Minoru: Ready to go! I wasn't too long was I?

Hideki: No, NOT AT ALL! We were just waiting for 5 whole entire hours…

Minoru: I'm sorry, the sales were getting big!

Wait, wait, he BOUGHT it?! Some computer expert HE is!

Well are you coming or not?

Plum: What took you so long mister?

Hideki: Don't be rude now Plum!

Minoru: Is she a chobit or has she just been upgraded with an attitude problem?

Everyone forgot who Sumomo was for a split second, I guess...

Hideki and Minoru were talking about life as they were walking home and then the subject of Zima and Dita came up and Minoru didn't seem to want t talk about it so he kept changing the subject…

Hideki: Were finally here! Thank goodness! My feet are paining me!

Minoru: Yeah me to! Lets go inside and get a drink, in the kitchen?

Minoru: *woodenly* That I will pour? Into a glass? That you will drink?

Hideki: O.K, that's sounds good! I'm thirsty to the maxx!

90's Kid: DUUUUUUDE! I'm, like, thirsty to the MAX! I've been too busy reading YOUNGBLOOD to grab a drink!

Minoru: It's just in here! Go in and ask for a drink I've just gotta go and check some papers…!

Hideki: O.K! I wonder what he has to drink! HELLO! ANYONE HOME!

Zima: Yeah! But I'm not offering beverages, I want your persacom!

GAAH! What the hell?! Was he hiding in the fridge or something?!

Hideki: What the fuck! Who the hell are you? What do you want with Chi!

Zima: I'm Chi's old friend!

Dita: Don't lie Zima! Were not her friends, you want her crushed!

Zima: SHUT UP YOU IGNORAMUS!

Not since Team Rocket has there been a team with such grace, such coordination...

Hideki: Your not having her! I'm outta here!

Plum: Hideki the doors locked, your "FRIEND" locked us in!

Hideki: WHAT! We have to get out of here! They're a threat to Chi's existence!

Plum: Well we can't get out of here! If you haven't noticed were trapped with nowhere to go!

Hideki: I thought something was a bit fishy, this isn't even a kitchen!

...okay, okay, that's it. Like...dude, Motosuwa, I've rooted for your story for years, but you're killing me here. Like...
...I can't even come up with the words for this kind of behavior myself. Takei?

Thanks, man.


Zima: Shut Up and hand over the robot! If you have value for your life!

And then Hideki tosses him Sumomo and bolts.

TBC…
Authors Note: I really hoped you like this one and if you don't review me I'll be extremely sad and I won't continue!

Which apparently didn't happen because this is the last chapter.

Remember, even if you don't like it you have to tell me by submitting a review!

Believe me, a riffing does one better!

Love Mark 3 (Rin)


***


Probably not my best work, but it's been a long time since I took on this and as it turns out putting up jokes for this fic was harder than when I first tried it. This could probably be down to me trying to make punchlines instead of just going "GODDAMMIT FANFIC!" even though that tended to happen here. A lot.

Thank you, everyone, and I'll see you next time!


--------------------
Riffings On Hold:
Twisted Metal: Anime Ambush

Ongoing Riffings:
Child Seed
DID WARS Supplementary Material
The Experiments of Twilight Sparkle

Completed Riffings:
Bad Memories
Swansong
Nameless Planetarian Lemon
Little Bakery Of Horrors
Concrete And Wolf
DID WARS
Star Destroyers Rampant

"The SDR-5V Spider introduces the Inner Sphere to the future of battlefield fleeing. Blasts, barrages, or bombardments; when running isn't good enough, be good enough to Run Big."
~Zack Parsons of SomethingAwful, Dorkiest Mechs of 3025
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post

Reply to this topicStart new topic
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:

 



Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 15th September 2014 - 01:26 AM