Ascend Through Darkness, SM2142 takes on his first solo mock where MLP meets COD Zombies. Options

[SM2142]

Hello, Project AFTER! After I teamed up with Shockwave S08 on “The Furry's Revenge” I decided to hit up the bad fanfic bounty board and see what my first solo target was going to be. Little did I know of what was in store when this poorly-executed crossover reared its ugly head. Basically, COD's Zombie mode meets My Little Pony. Please pause for a sec to let that sink in...OK, not let us dive into...


Ascend Through Darkness
By: Plague Upon Man

Ascend Through Darkness Ch. 1: Introduction Through Massacre Abandon Hope All Ye Who Read

Doc, we have to get out of here! We've already freed Gersch and the zombies are breaking in. Haven't you found all the info yet?"

Notice how we get no establishing details here, what are we supposed to think?

"If you would stop screaming for a moment, Dempsey, I would've explained to you the way out of here!"

How about explaining what's going on!

"How will we go about this, Doctor Richtofen?"
"No need to rush, I have plenty of vodka."

Actually, that's a good idea, I'll need some liquid courage for this...

"Before Gersch ascended, he told me to go into his office and look inside the drawers of his desk. There are coordinates here that will allow us to use his device to teleport us out of this Soviet Cosmodrome. It only says that it will take us “to a galaxy far, far away”. It is strange for a scientist of his magnitude to be so vague about it…"
"Hmph, as long as we can resupply, I don't care where we go."
"Of course you wouldn't care about the genius of a portable teleporter, Dempsey. Your brain would surely never comprehend it. Now, give me a few minutes weeks. It will take a while before I can type the whole code in."
"You got one minute. Those freak sacs sacks of old sacks are starting to come in!"
"My ammo may be low, but my honor shall see us through this dark hour!"

Try telling yourself that when a Zed has its teeth in your neck...

"Oh please, Takeo. Can you use your honor to make a new barricade? Step aside, this Russian bear will show you how it's done."
"Will you hurry up with that Gersch Device, Doc? "
"Do not rush perfection, American! I'm already halfway through I lost the code."
"They are approaching now! Banzai!"
"One by one, they will fall to the might of Nikolai!"
"Argh, these maggot whores are annoying! Get off my boots!"
"Hm, and then this big thingie goes here like the other thingie… There! I got the coordinates. I don't know where this 'Ponyville' is, but its better than here! Everyone, jump into the singularity!"

Not like they have much choice, but something tells me they're headed to a FAR worse place...

Dear Princess Celestia, THANKS FOR NOTHING!
It has only been a few weeks since this epidemic has started. The infection has already spread around Ponyville. What used to be a quaint town filled with happy pony folk is now a warzone.

Sounds like a definite improvement.

Sirens would often blare out across the town to alert the citizens of attract the incoming onslaught. Houses and pathways have become barricaded. We are trying our best to simply survive. The zombies are starting to outnumber the living. To be honest, I don't know how long the Pegasus guards can handle this before they become exhausted. Although we are supporting them in whatever way we can, we cannot go on like this forever. I will continue to hope for you and Princess Luna's success in finding a cure to this madness.

Oh, if only there was some MAGIC that could help here! Guess limitless powers of magic isn't so limitless now is it?

Sincerely, Your Faithful Student, Twilight Sparkle

P.S. Conjure us some guns FFS or we're all screwed!

Satisfied with the lack of grammatical errors, the unicorn rolled up the scroll and handed it to Spike. With the letter resolved, she turned towards her friends who were sat around the living room table to discuss the matter at hand; Why they all felt they were in some horrible fanfiction.

"Girls, our situation isn't getting any better. The zombie ponies are becoming too numerous and the attacks are happening more often than usual. Our supplies are beginning to dwindle gone and Canterlot can only give us so much support. We may have to abandon Ponyville soon." Her plan had been met with disdain.

Honestly, I'm surprised they lasted as long as they allegedly have...

"Ya know I can't do that, Twilight. I just can't abandon my family trade like that! Where would we go anyway?" Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy murmured their agreements with Applejack.
"I can't just leave Mr. and Mrs. Cake to defend themselves. That would be so mean!" Pinkie added.

With a name like “Cake” are they REALLY worth saving?

"I still believe we have a fighting chance against these uncouth undead. My vote's with Pinkie and Applejack. Fluttershy, what say you, dear?"
"Um…I think we should stay as well." Although the consensus agreed on staying, Twilight felt that she had to add her two cents in.
"If we remain here, our supplies will eventually vanish. The Weather Pegasuses can't give us the proper storm for our crops to flourish while they're under attack. We nearly lost Rainbow Dash the last time we tried that."
"Don't remind me," she piped up. "It was an awful night. Who knew rotting flesh can fly?"

We might want to start betting on who they're going to eat first. If anyone has heard of “Cupcakes” then I think you know which one will resort to cannibalism first.

"Which is exactly why we need to make our move soon. We can move to neighboring cities and fortify our positions there. Right now, we need numbers and I do not like our odds of survival against the hording undead. I know its incredibly difficult easy for us to simply leave our beloved town behind. But Ponyville won't be dead as long as its citizens survive." Despite all the logic and evidence backing her plan up, Twilight still noticed a glint of doubt in her friends' eyes that no one gave a shit. They wouldn't stare at her directly when she looked towards their direction out of fear of retribution. They knew Twilight was right. But the idea seemed so ludicrous! This time, Fluttershy spoke her peace.
"But… what about the sick and the elderly?" Twilight visibly cringed at the Pegasus's inquiry. She knew the question would eventually pop up, but it still hurt to give the answer that no one wanted to hear.

Wouldn't they be the first to fall victim to the zombies?

"I, I'm afraid we will have to leave them behind use them as a distraction. They won't be able to travel under these conditions. And they would slow down everyone, which puts everything at risk." Her friends were stunned by what she had just said. Applejack was the first to recover from the shock.

Survival of the fittest, idiots! DEAL WITH IT!

"I can't believe you would say such a thing! Of all the ponies to say such words, I'd expect you to be the last first one." The backlash was painful, but the unicorn had to say it . There was no point in hiding any detail from her friends.
"I'm sorry, dear morons. But if you suggest we abandon defenseless ponies, then I simply cannot abide by your plans. It may very well be a sound idea, but it goes against every fiber of our being to commit such acts of selfishness."

So the stuck-up, high-class one grows a conscience when the shit hits the fan?

Everypony agreed with Rarity's little speech. Twilight merely sighed. In the face of adversity, logic will not triumph. Apparently, no one in Ponyville has heard of that yet. But, she knew when she was defeated.
"I'm sorry for suggesting such a thing, girls. I just want what's best for the general public."

Funny how politicians say the exact same thing and...yeah...

"Its okay, Twilight," Pinkie Pie beamed. Even in such a dark situation, she somehow remained positive. Though, of course, laughing at the zombies wouldn't make them disappear. "We're all still pals! We simply have to think of a better plan of attack." Twilight couldn't help but smile. Pinkie's happy-go-lucky demeanor was rather infectious. Perhaps the magic of friendship will prevail through the darkest of times after all. That or ignorance truly is bliss...

Suddenly, a horde of zombies broke down their door and proceeded to eat all inside!
THE END


As the quartet travelled through the wormhole, they noticed that it was taking a little longer than usual for them to reach their destination. Once they reached the other side of the wormhole, they pushed through at once, which unknowingly created a violent reaction causing all to evacuate their bowels. As they were warped back into the third dimension, a loud explosion ringed in their ears and a bright flash of light blinded their eyes. Dust filled their lungs as they tried to get a grip on where they had just appeared.
"Ugh, I don't feel well…" Said Takeo, the Imperial Japanese soldier.
"Suck it up, Tak. At least we don't have to deal with those freak bags." Dempsey replied. The quartet climbed out of the crater and began to take in their new surroundings.

All four responded at once, “WHAT THE FUUUUUUU~”

Though some of the town was ravaged from the fighting, the rest of Ponyville still maintained its colorful luster and bright hues. After being surrounded by death and decay for so long, the humans had a hard time registering it. "Whoa, where the hell are we?"

If it was hell it'd probably be nicer.

"I don't know Dempsey. But that's not important right now! Where's my vodka bottle?" Nikolai dove back into the crater, frantically looking for his beloved drink. The Marine merely rolled his eyes.
"What a peculiar shitty environment," inquired Doctor Richtofen. "I must look further into this Gersch Device. If it has the ability to travel through different realities, who knows where we might end up next?"

How about a reality where bad fanfics don't exist, can you take us there?

Dempsey ignored the Nazi's ramblings. He and Takeo turned their attention to a group of ponies, who were staring at them with a mixture of fear and curiousity. There was something unnatural about this batch of equines. For one, two of them had a single horn coming out from the head, much like a unicorn. One was suspended in the air by the flapping of its wings. And the color of their pelts were eye-popping way too bright, to say the least.
"Either I'm drunk, or that pony over there is freakin' pink! And to whom it may concern, yes, I did find my stash." Although they were incredibly wary of these odd creatures, Twilight still felt that they should welcome them.

That first sentence that actually seems like a legit response.

"Hello. My name is Twilight Sparkle. And the place you just…uh, appeared in is Ponyville."
"Whoa HOLY SHIT, a talking horse! This is almost as cool as that Wonder Waffle Kill it with fire!" Richtofen shuddered at Dempsey's butchered pronunciation of his greatest invention, the Wunderwaffe DG-2. Before anyone else got a chance to introduce each other, the sirens blared out their deafening call attracting every zombie within 10 miles to their exact location. The ponies were immediately on alert while the humans remained muddled.
"Oh no, not now! Pinkie, Fluttershy, I need you to guide our guests to the safe house with the big red door. The rest of us will fight off these zombies. Sorry, guys. Introductions will have to wait." When Twilight looked towards the quartet, she noticed an odd look of annoyance in their eyes. Well, stranger than what she was used to in seeing a human, anyway. She couldn't help but question their sudden silence. "We're kind of in a middle of an undead crisis here. Can you please cooperate?"
"Cooperate? Oh, we'll do one better Hell no. I haven't taken such a long break from destroying these nasty squags in quite a while."
"I would dare not sit out of a battle. It would be most dishonorable!"
"As much as I would like to sit and drink, those zombies are really pissing me off. Always following us wherever we go…"
"Ja, I am quite interested in seeing these pony zombies. Maybe a dissection of them will prove beneficial to my research…" Although Twilight did not know how skilled these new arrivals were at killing zombies, any help would be appreciated by the townsfolk. No matter how sick in the head they sounded.

Why do I get the feeling that we're in for something terrible?

"If you guys insist so much, I can't force you to change your mind. Alright, follow us! We're going to split up and defend key places. Once all is done, we'll guide you to the town square and talk some more. Until then, good luck, everypony!"

We'll need it if we're going to make it through this story.

AN: In the next chapter, we will see what happens at Sweet Apple Acres.

I'm hoping for some scorched earth! We'll pick this smelly turd back up next time.

This post has been edited by SM2142: Feb 12 2012, 08:14 PM

[SM2142]

AN: Wow, haven't updated in what, a month? Sorry about the delay, guys. I truly have no excuses at this point. I was just lazy. In any case, I'm trying to get the ball rolling once more and dishing these chapters out weekly. If not, then bi-weekly.

Attention readers! This is it, the final chapter. I have some thing special planned for the finale and I hope you all like it.

Ascend Through Darkness Chapter 9 Operation Overlord End The Fic

"While its great to see y'all again, I was hopin' fer a little more than four, if ya catch my drift." Rainbow Dash merely waved a dismissive hoof at Braeburn's statement.

Dempsey and Nikolai suppressed the urge to shoot this pony...

"Nah, don't worry about it! Fluttershy here's a great medic. Dempsey, Nikolai and I can handle the wet works!"

"I don't doubt you at all, Dash. Its just that, well, one of your compadres is injured." At the mention of his wound, the Marine immediately fired up.

"This is no goddamn injury! Just a goddamn flesh wound, is all. I can goddamn easily walk this off goddamnit."

Well, glad to see Tank took my advice.

"Aye, the Red Army loves an attitude like that. If you're lucky, they give you vodka to numb pain! But, none for snipers they get to drink their own piss. Thank god I was in infantry!" While he was still perplexed by their appearance, Braeburn nonetheless welcomed them. If these were the saviors of Ponyville, then Appleloosa has nothing to fear.

Nothing to fear but the wrath of humanity if they don't go home.

"Great! With introductions out of the way, we're gonna need some help unloading, Braeburn."
"Unloading? What exactly did you bring with y'all on the trip here, Dash?"

"Hate to say it, but Doc whipped up some pretty awesome shit to kill with. Braeburn, was it? Don't you worry about a thing. You've got Tank Dempsey on your side!"

"Da, and a Russian bear! Your zombie problems will be over in no time!"

Nikolai, I liked you more when you were drinking, now get to it!

"Heh, well how can I be so glum around such confident fellas? All right, y'all! Unload the train!" At his behest, the conductor ponies and a couple of buffalo were hauling in the gear from the back.

My guess is the buffalo are the “hired help” while the conductors just “supervise”, right?

"So, uh, what do these things do exactly? Train looks mighty strange with those metal objects on the side…"

"Can we talk about this somewhere else? Preferably a place with seats and alcohol."

Thank you!

"Oh gosh, where are my manners? I guess I got caught up with all this that I nearly forgot! C'mon, y'all! We're headin' to the local waterin' hole."

Braeburn is way too energetic, he needs to lay off the coffee.

"Please, let us hurry! My hands no longer shake. I can actually string together coherent thoughts!"

"You know what, Nikolai? A drink does sound pretty damn good right about now." Before Dempsey could walk (limp) with the group, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy blocked his way.

Don't get between a man and his booze!

"Sorry, Dempsey. But you're going to have to check into the hospital with Fluttershy. With that bad leg of yours, we can't afford any mishaps out there."

"Grraaahhh, fine Fuck! Just bring me a drink if you don't mind." Both the marine and the bashful pegasus broke off from the gang to find the medic tents. While Appleloosa was not as large as Ponyville, it was certainly big enough for one to get lost without a map orbital strike to decimate. "Hey, Fluttershy. You've been here before, right? Where's the hospital or whatever place they're using?"

Out here I think the hospital sign will read, “Butcher”

"Um, yes, I've been here. Oh my, its been quite a while, though. I think we make a right at this intersection…" Remaining nonchalant to her fuzzy memory, Dempsey had nothing better to do than to follow her even though by WaW logic he should have regenerated long ago. Although he would never admit it to anyone, his leg wound was quite painful. Thanks to the hellhound's rather unnatural fire affinity, the puncture wounds and claw marks also burned.

Well at least the wound disinfected itself.

Medical supplies were rather limited on the train as they were reserved for the Applelosersosans. But for what little they could use, Fluttershy did some excellent work on his leg. "Uh, D-Dempsey? Is, is your leg feeling better?"
"Hm? Oh yeah, its doing fine. The boys would've love a field medic such as you, Fluttershy. Quick and clean." Surprised by his words, she noticeably blushed.

Really, Tank? A bunch of marines see a flying pony treating them they'd think the morphine was messing with their minds!

"Oh my! Um, thank you for your words." He merely shrugged.

"Eh, I calls em as I sees em. Compliments are good to toss around the team to boost hurt morale, you know."

"You sound like quite the leader."

"Yeah, I guess I was just cut out for being a squad leader. But its strange. Now that you have me thinking, everything before the zombies came in is fuzzy. I just can't remember…"

Soap Opera-style amnesia? You gotta be kidding!

"Oh, I hope I'm not interrupting anything important, but, we're here." The pair stopped at a building with a large red cross adorned on top. Various tents were pitched right outside the vicinity of the hospital. Fluttershy and Dempsey saw the sick, the injured, and the casualties within each tent.

Others were around back being put down.

Most were not a pretty sight. Inside the building, the ponies and buffalo were doing just as bad as the others. Frantically, nurses and doctors rushed from patient to patient, giving out the diagnosed medicine.

The medical instruments were far from sterile, leading to further infection.

There was one particular nurse that caught Fluttershy's eye. She was a young female buffalo, not as big or brawny as her bigger brethren. Said buffalo looked in her direction and visibly lit up.
"Fluttershy? Is that you?"
"Little Strongheart? Oh, thank goodness you and you're tribe are alive!" The two met in an embrace as they reveled in each other's presence.

Oh, stop it!

"While it is unfortunate that not all of the buffalo have made it out, most of us are well and breathing. I heard the news about Ponyville being rescued. Is it true that the saviors are here as well?" Dempsey got their attention by coughing loudly shouting, “Hey, fuck face!”.

"You're looking at one of them right now." The female buffalo stared at the new creature that stood on its hind legs in front of her. She had never seen anything like a human before in her life. Little Strongheart tilted her head sideways.

"Not to be rude or anything, but, what are you?"

"A fucking human. Part of the fucking Marines, to be exact."
"Um, we'll get more on that later. But right now, we need to properly fix up amputate his leg, Strongheart."

"Oh, yes, of course! With the newly arrived medical supplies, we should be able to heal up kill everyone in no time!"
And now for some reason we go back to the German.

"Richtofen, what is the meaning of this?"

"Yes, what exactly do you have in mind?" Princess Luna, Gersch, and Richtofen have met up in the war room. However, this time, the Nazi scientist had captured a zombie pony which was currently in a cage. It constantly gave out unearthly screams as it tried to reach its hooves out at the live flesh.

Oh great, experiments? Just kill the damn thing and be done with it!

"As you all know, I've been constantly researching on your magics. After seeing all the successes of the merging of technology and spells, I realized that the possibilities are nearly endless! So, I thought to myself, what if there was a way to revert the process of the 115 prevent poorly-written crossover fanfics?"

"Wait, you're saying there's a way? Impossible! With my years on both Equestria and Earth, there was no way that technology or magic can reverse the effects!"

Shut it, Gersch, I never liked you!

"Exactly. You can't have one without the other for this amazing piece of work I've created."

"Tell us, Doctor," Luna began. "How were you able to create such a device?"

"Well, I took some concentrated samples of the Ray Gun. Then, I had some of Gersch's team cast some rather complicated transmutation and reversion spells. Much to my delight, the spells melded together instead of clashing and creating some sort of magical nuclear reaction. The resulting transfusion of elements and magic created something I've never seen before! Tons of duct tape! I was forced to create a new design for the dispenser of this energy."

"You mean this alien like object? It hardly even looks like a gun."

"Well Gersch, I had to stay away from the archetype of gun design. Any other conventional shape would simply not do! In any case, I wish to test this on a live subject in a controlled environment. Should anything go wrong, we at least have Gersch's team and Princess Luna to back us up. If all goes well, then our zombified pony here may return to normal! Alright, ponies! Get in your places! On my count, open the cage! One…two…three!"

The undead pony lunged at Gersch, just as Doc had expected, tearing out the throat of the unicorn.

"I can't help but feel bad for sending Dempsey to the infirmary like that."
"Bah, don't worry about him, Dash. He'll be out of there in no time. That brave American can take a hit and fight back two times as hard, if not more!" Nikolai said between swigs.

"Gosh, Nikolai. Is Dempsey really as great as ya make him out to be?"

"Of course, Braeburn! No! Back in Russia, the Red Army would have probably promoted him to Captain, at least!"

"Huh, while I'm not all too familiar with rankins' since I'm dumber than a bucket of fish, I'll take yer word fer it. In any case, we're here! This is our local waterin' hole, The Salt Block. Under normal circumstances, it would be your normal bar complete with the finest drinks and salts strippers. But now, it acts as a hotel and a temporary roof for those who had lost their homes crematorium."

"Yes, very heart wrenching. Now can we move along to those drinks?" Taken aback by his rather gruff attitude, Braeburn silently lead the group inside. Within The Salt Block, it was incredibly crowded. The ponies were either minding their own business fighting on the bar or keeping their family company to coax themselves from the harsh reality.

Drown your worries in hooch, now great for families!

"Sorry, y'all. Yer gonna have to make do with the space we've got available."
"Oh well. As long as you serve Russian vodka, all is good!"
"I'd rather have some apple cider. How can you even drink that stuff on a daily basis?"

He's Russian, he probably drank it from his baby bottle.

"Well, Dash. First of all, vodka is the preferable drink of man. Hey, bartender! Give me your finest vodka." Said bartender warily eyed the new creature that sat in front of him. Nonetheless, this "Nikolai" was a customer, and Morton "Salt" Shaker did not believe in throwing out anyone unless they are too inebriated or rowdy for their own good.

Uh oh, Nikolai may be in trouble on this one.

"Will that be in salt or liquid form?"
"Salt? Hm, sounds interesting. Give it to me then!"
"Very well. And what can I get for Rainbow Dash and Braeburn?"
"Glass of cider sounds pretty good right about now, partner."
"Um, I'll have what Nikolai's having."
"Oh? Looks like I'll actually see the day that Takeo's manliness will come to question by a rainbow themed pony! This calls for a drink!"

If Takeo heard this...aw who am I kidding? I hope he hears of this!

"Sounds swell. Now then, while we wait for our drinks, let me fill y'all in on Appleloosa's situation," Rainbow Dash's and Nikolai's attention were not squarely focused upon Braeburn.

What follows is the boring “mission briefing”, not worth your time!

"As y'all saw earlier, parts of our beloved town have been ravaged by the attacks. At first, it was just us Appleloosans. But then, the whole buffalo tribe sought refuge in our town. We figured that by stickin' together, we could outlast the zombies and potentially drive em' away. Unfortunately, this didn't work. Our food supply is runnin' low. We can't get any imports with the trains out of commission. To be honest, I was expectin' an army of warriors and soldiers. Never would I have thought that Ponyville would've sent us their saviors so soon!"

Basically, the sitrep sucks and they need the humans AGAIN...

" Like I said, you've nothing to worry about, Braeburn! We've got a trainload of those crazy gizmos and some new things as well! Appleloosa will be safe once again doomed in no time!"

"I ain't worried about a thing with y'all here, Dash. By the way, these gizmos, what are they exactly?"

"Hold that thought. Alcohol has arrived!" Morton returned complete with the group's orders. However, Nikolai was rather shocked with what he was displayed with. "Wait a minute, you're saying this little block of salt is all I get!" He kicked the bartender in the face.
"Trust me on this one," Morton replied. "It packs quite a punch." Taking his word for it, the Soviet placed the small block in his mouth. Instantaneously, it dissolved which spread the flavors of salt and vodka all over his tongue.

"Holy shit! That was three bottles in one block! Vodka you can eat! Am I in heaven? This must be too good to be true."

Aw shit! Nikolai is falling now too! First Takeo and now this...CONFOUND THOSE PONIES!

Seeing the pure enjoyment that Nikolai had, Rainbow Dash followed suit and placed the whole block in her mouth. However, her reaction was not as jovial. It took nearly all her willpower to not blanch and cough at the overwhelming strength of the alcohol She ended up puking all over the bar.
"Blech, I kinda regret picking that…" Nikolai patted her back in a rather uncharacteristically kind fashion.
"Heh heh, do not worry! The fact that you took that like a man earns Nikolai's respect."
"Uh, can we get back to current events here?"

"What? Oh yes, the gizmos. Anyway, what we got here is some sort of magical turret thingies that lock on to zombies and kills them. Richtofen made a shitload of these apparently as we have brought at least a dozen of them, however they need 10 D batteries each. And these little grenade mines are Explody Bits! It looks like fun, actually. It would be best to see in action, no?"

"If you say so, Nikolai. Oh, by the way, I'd like to introduce y'all to two special folks that dropped by our town recently. They've been kind enough to offer their help to our quaint little town."

Like it's done any good for you lately.

"Really? Any traveler that's willing to help out sounds like a good pony in my book!"

"Funny you should say that, Dash. One of em' is a griffon! The other one is a travelling magical performer. In fact, she's about to put up one of her performances right now!"

A “pony show” while the zombies gnaw on your doorstep? Fine! Get yourselves killed! See if I care!

"Oh no, please don't tell me…" The lights dimmed, the ponies began to crowd around the indoor stage. The headlights swiveled around for a little bit before staying on the center. A feminine voice echoed throughout the room.

Uh oh...

"Ladies and gentlecolts! Prepare to be astounded and baffled by The Great and Powerful Trixie!" The curtains slowly unfurled to a rather familiar unicorn.

If she starts a pony striptease. There will be HELL to pay.

"Greetings, folks of Appleloosa! Naturally, I am so glad all of you are here to enjoy the fine beverages and my shows. Now then, without further ado, let us get this show on the road!"

Boooo! I wanna see The Lonesome Drifter! YOU SUCK!

Nikolai was far too immersed with his conversation with Morton to actually pay attention to the show. Braeburn, on the other hand, noticed Dash's clear disgust with the unicorn on stage. She turned to him without changing her expression.

"Tell me this, Braeburn. Is the griffon in question Gilda?"

"Heh, at least we can get introductions out of the way then! I'm assumin' you've got some history with the two already."

Old rivalry?

"Yeah, none too well either," the pegasus sighed irritably. "Why can't things ever be simple?" The Soviet turned to his allies, a smile of pure mirth graced his features.
"I take back all those nasty things I've said about you ponies. You guys sure know your vodka!"

Dammit! We've all but lost him!

"Okay that's so awesome now can we set up those gizmos and get the hell out of here?"
"What? But we just got here! It would be rude of us to leave Appleloosa without staying to delight in its pleasures!" She cocked an eyebrow at Nikolai's sudden interest in other's feelings.
"It's the booze talking, isn't it?"

It's always been the booze.

"Heh heh, I'm drunk. Big surprise, eh?" The pegasus's only reaction was a facehoof.

"Richtofen, I think we can safely call this experiment a failure."
"Nein, it wasn't a total loss of time. We at least know it works to an extent Gersch got his throat torn out."

"I've witnessed death countless times in many forms. Exploding ponies are something I will never get used to. Excuse me, gentlecolts. But I must leave."
"Hm, I take it Princess Luna isn't a fan of gore?"
"Its no wonder the Soviets hated Nazis so much…"
"My goodness! The test subject is all over the floors, und the walls, und the ceiling! What's more important now is that we clean up this mess so that I can continue perfecting this machinery!

Doc, go into movies, there's a spy flick that needs an evil villain.

You know, once it is done, perhaps I shall call it the 'Lazarus.' Ja, its got that nice ring to it…" Gersch shook his head in shame as he spoke under his breath.

Illusive Man called, he says stop stealing his project names!

"Such disregard for life. I am starting to regret working with you."

It's a human thing.

Patience was something Dempsey was not well known for. Whether it is waiting for the pack-a-punch machine to work its wonders or anything else, keeping still was something of a chore for the Marine.

He also hated loading screens!

He rested his head against the pillow and stared up at the ceiling. The hospital was far from quiet as the moaning from the injured and the chatter between doctors and patients went on. At the very least, he had Fluttershy and Little Strongheart for company, though he didn't know how hooves could heal his leg. While the girls were working on his leg, Dempsey filled the buffalo in on him and the technology they had brought with them. While she did not fully understand the magic, let alone the technology, the buffalo did realize that the humans may just be the key to saving dooming all of Equestria.

"I see, so the AMTs are stationed at key locations around Ponyville. Once activated, it aims at the zombies and fires spells at them. Is that correct?"
"You got it right NO SHIT, toots. You know, for something that functions so simply, it sure is complicated as hell on the inside. I really don't know how Doc does it. Not sure if I want to know either…"

"Well, in any case, we've finished up on your leg. While you are able to walk, you won't be able to run for long. After all, we want that wound to heal up as soon as possible."
"Much appreciated, girls. Its nice to finally have some female company."

Dempsey! Don't tell me you consider these animals REMOTELY close to a human nurse!

"Its no problem at all, Mr. Dempsey. Now if you'll excuse us, I must give Fluttershy a small tour around the hospital." He knowingly nodded at them. Once more, he reached for his Skullcrusher and checked the ammo supply. Despite the brutal fight his team had on the train, there was plenty of no ammunition for him to spare. And he hadn't even touched his other weapons yet either! Should there be another attack on the way back to Ponyville, he would not be more than ready, at least. But, he couldn't help but wonder why the hell he was still here.

First, it was Element 115 that somehow ended up here in a different world. And with the hellhounds, the demonic voice has also reappeared. It was as if these two entirely different worlds are colliding and merging at the same time. At this point, the Marine would only be somewhat surprised to find a tank or a helicopter somewhere in Equestria.

At least Dempsey is pointing out the holes in the story's plot! He just might realize he's in a crossover fic...

Not one for long contemplative sessions with himself, Dempsey collected his weaponry and limped briskly outside the hospital to get away from the noise and stench. The faster he gets the mission done, the sooner they could all return home to fix the zombie apocalypse back on their world.

Whew, he's back on track.

However, he couldn't help but think what would happen if he and the others were to just forget about earth and spend the rest of their lives in Equestria. It was almost like a vacation, not dealing with the undead on an hourly basis. Ponyville was a nice place. Canterlot seemed somewhat antiquated yet modern at the same time. The Marine really wanted to visit Manehattan, just to see if it really was a pony version of Manhattan. He couldn't help but chuckle at the obvious horse pun.

Now he's thinking of staying! I'm glad I have something planned for the end of this POS.

Suddenly, he heard a loud bird call. He looked up into the evening sky to see a winged creature descending to earth and landing right in front of him. It had wings and the head of a bird and the forelegs were talons. But everything else was that of a lion.
"Man, this place just gets weirder and weirder." as he shot the creature out of the sky.
"Sup. Heard you were part of the reinforcements. The name's Gilda." She extended one of her talons to Dempsey.

"Yeah, that's right Damn, you're ugly," he said while shaking her talon. "The name's Tank Dempsey."

"You seem like a pretty cool guy. At least you're not like those lame ponies back in Ponyville."

"Where I'm from, you won't get far by acting sweet and cuddly. So Gilda, why don't you fill me in on Appleloosa's situation? I also need to survey the general area and find some key locations for the AMTs find the quickest way home, NOW."

"The AM what? Well anyway, things aren't looking too bright. Parts of the town are destroyed. Casualties are mounting. If nothing drastic is done, Trixie and I are heading out of town before we become zombie food."

Smart one, I'll give her that...

"Now why am I getting a strong sense of déjà vu here?"

Because something in the Matrix has changed?

"You said you needed to know the area? Hop on, I can give you an eye from the sky."
"Wait, are you sure?"
"Normally, I wouldn't do this for anyone. But given the situation that we're in, I think I can make this exception."
"No, I'm not talking about that. Are you sure you can carry me? You're only 4 feet tall compared to me" She merely scoffed.

"Hmph, I'm stronger than I look, ya know. Now will you hurry up? I doubt we have much time before the zombies come back again," Doing as he was told, he climbed on top of the griffon. She did not even budge at the extra weight of the human. "Make sure you have a firm grip around my neck. Don't want you falling off or anything." Once secured with his grip, they took off into the skies he strangled the life out of the griffin. While Dempsey's experiences with flying were limited, he was no stranger to heights either. While it was night time, the town remained visible through the combination of the moon and the light from the buildings. Off in the distance not too far off from Appleloosa, he saw the burning apple orchards.

"Just like in Ponyville…" he thought to himself. There were some cliffs overlooking the general area, but he doubt the AMT's range would allow it to be stationed so far. Overall, the land was barren. There was nothing but flatlands and cliffs as far out as he could see, even from such heights. They would be able to foresee the enemy's approach from miles yards away. "Alright, Gilda. Reconnaissance time is over."

"At least you didn't take your time,"

Aw that just sounds WRONG!

she remarked as the descended to land once more. "So, who else is here besides you?"
"Eh, let's see…There's Nikolai. He's alright, just a huge drinker. Then there's Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy." As he mentioned the names of the pegasus ponies, Dempsey could've sworn he saw the color drain from Gilda's face.

"Did you say, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy?"

"What, you got some shit between them?" She looked away from the Marine.
"You could say that…" Her voice this time was lacking in toughness. Instead, it was replaced by something akin to shame and bashfulness. Even Dempsey knew something was up with Gilda.
"Hoo boy…that can't be good. Look, if possible, can you spare the drama crap until the zombie problem is over? We can't really afford any life threatening mistakes out there."

Saved us another useless anecdote.

"The hell do you take me for? I'm no pansy!" Dempsey raised his hands up defensively his middle finger to her.

"Whoa, slow down Fuck you. I'm just saying that if you have issues to resolve with those two, do it later," He was surprised with his reaction. Dempsey is the kind of man who takes shit from nobody. But, here he was, not even shouting at this creature he had just met who had given him attitude. Maybe it was just hanging out with colorful ponies that made him change somewhat.
He realizes the corruption, at last!

"In any case, we need to round up everypony and get a strategy going already. I want to get this over with. Fuck, did I just say 'everypony?' Really?"

Yes...

The clock had struck midnight. Everyone important had gathered around a campfire in front of Sheriff Silverstar's office. Dempsey, Nikolai, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Little Strongheart, Chief Thunderhooves, Sheriff Silverstar, Braeburn, Gilda, and Trixie were all present. Dempsey looked at everyone in the eye to make sure all attention was on him. Once satisfied No one was even looking in his direction, he began the briefing.
"All right, everyone. Here's the plan. We're gonna have to concentrate most of our AMTs near the orchard. We can't afford to have Appleloosa lose any more of their food supply. While the train that we arrived in had given us extras, it can only buy so much time before starvation kicks in. After all, an army walks on stomachs! As an extra precaution, we'll also be setting up some Explody Bits in the general vicinity outside of the orchard. The blast range is incredibly huge, so we must use them sparingly die. Ugh, that was awful to say… Anyway, my group consisting of Rainbow Dash, Sheriff Silverstar, Braeburn, and Trixie will cover the guys setting up the AMTs around the orchard. Meanwhile, the rest of you will help with the defensive perimeters around Appleloosa itself. Do whatever you deem necessary to protect the town and its inhabitants. Any questions?" Trixie raised her hoof.

"While its not a question, it is more of a correction. You forgot 'The Great and Powerful' after my name." Everyone in the group rolled their eyes shouted, “Shut the fuck up! simultaneously. Even after her rather forceful humbling in Ponyville, she remained very much the same.

"If that's all, then let's get Operation Overlord started! Let's move out, everyone! Oorah!"

OK readers, here's the big finale you've waited for. Guess what? The fic ends here! It hasn't been touched since June of 2011 so we can assume it'll never be completed. Good news for me though, because now I get to make up my own ending! Rather than continuing this story, I have decided to end this the only way I know how; by killing off the author within their own fic!

As the author finished typing chapter 9, he smirked to himself not knowing what a giant piece of shit he had written. Just then, he heard footsteps from the other side of his bedroom door. Not expecting company, opened the door and saw a fat man with glasses...could it be...Gabe Newall?

the author was thrown back by Hale's immensely powerful voice, sending him clear through the wall and into the kitchen. Hale meanwhile punched a new hole in the wall next to the old one the author had flown through. Stunned by the “Obliterator of the Outback” in his own house, the author grabbed a nearby kitchen knife and pointed it at Saxton Hale. Hale laughed hysterically, wanting to see this pitiful soul even try and hurt him. The author charged forward and drove the point of the knife into Saxton's enormous chest. Unfortunately for him, the knife blade couldn't make it through Hale's Mann Co. Certified chest hair. Hale grabbed the knife from the author's weak grip and proceeded to eat it, blade first! Knowing the end was near, the author shit himself again and again in a feeble attempt to beg for mercy. Hale knew fanfic authors like him were a blight upon the Earth and therefore decided to send him on a little trip. Grabbing the author with one hand, he threw his victim into the refrigerator, slammed the door shut, and kicked the appliance out the window.

Now outside, Hale picked up the fridge and began to spin, picking up speed like he was in the hammer toss. At last, he let go with a loud “Saxton HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALE!” The fridge rocketed into the air, clearing every level of the atmosphere on a direct, 1-way trip to the unforgiving sun. The fridge and the author were vaporized instantly. Hale looked on with a manly Australian grin as he watched the author's final moments. With that, Hale took his leave making sure that any witnesses treated this like a simple household accident. Of course, everyone agreed with Saxton Hale.

There ya go, folks! My first solo mock is complete! Hope you enjoyed my humor, and I'll be sure to check out the fanfic bounty board in a couple days.