Ascend Through Darkness, SM2142 takes on his first solo mock where MLP meets COD Zombies. Options

[SM2142]

Hello, Project AFTER! After I teamed up with Shockwave S08 on “The Furry's Revenge” I decided to hit up the bad fanfic bounty board and see what my first solo target was going to be. Little did I know of what was in store when this poorly-executed crossover reared its ugly head. Basically, COD's Zombie mode meets My Little Pony. Please pause for a sec to let that sink in...OK, not let us dive into...


Ascend Through Darkness
By: Plague Upon Man

Ascend Through Darkness Ch. 1: Introduction Through Massacre Abandon Hope All Ye Who Read

Doc, we have to get out of here! We've already freed Gersch and the zombies are breaking in. Haven't you found all the info yet?"

Notice how we get no establishing details here, what are we supposed to think?

"If you would stop screaming for a moment, Dempsey, I would've explained to you the way out of here!"

How about explaining what's going on!

"How will we go about this, Doctor Richtofen?"
"No need to rush, I have plenty of vodka."

Actually, that's a good idea, I'll need some liquid courage for this...

"Before Gersch ascended, he told me to go into his office and look inside the drawers of his desk. There are coordinates here that will allow us to use his device to teleport us out of this Soviet Cosmodrome. It only says that it will take us “to a galaxy far, far away”. It is strange for a scientist of his magnitude to be so vague about it…"
"Hmph, as long as we can resupply, I don't care where we go."
"Of course you wouldn't care about the genius of a portable teleporter, Dempsey. Your brain would surely never comprehend it. Now, give me a few minutes weeks. It will take a while before I can type the whole code in."
"You got one minute. Those freak sacs sacks of old sacks are starting to come in!"
"My ammo may be low, but my honor shall see us through this dark hour!"

Try telling yourself that when a Zed has its teeth in your neck...

"Oh please, Takeo. Can you use your honor to make a new barricade? Step aside, this Russian bear will show you how it's done."
"Will you hurry up with that Gersch Device, Doc? "
"Do not rush perfection, American! I'm already halfway through I lost the code."
"They are approaching now! Banzai!"
"One by one, they will fall to the might of Nikolai!"
"Argh, these maggot whores are annoying! Get off my boots!"
"Hm, and then this big thingie goes here like the other thingie… There! I got the coordinates. I don't know where this 'Ponyville' is, but its better than here! Everyone, jump into the singularity!"

Not like they have much choice, but something tells me they're headed to a FAR worse place...

Dear Princess Celestia, THANKS FOR NOTHING!
It has only been a few weeks since this epidemic has started. The infection has already spread around Ponyville. What used to be a quaint town filled with happy pony folk is now a warzone.

Sounds like a definite improvement.

Sirens would often blare out across the town to alert the citizens of attract the incoming onslaught. Houses and pathways have become barricaded. We are trying our best to simply survive. The zombies are starting to outnumber the living. To be honest, I don't know how long the Pegasus guards can handle this before they become exhausted. Although we are supporting them in whatever way we can, we cannot go on like this forever. I will continue to hope for you and Princess Luna's success in finding a cure to this madness.

Oh, if only there was some MAGIC that could help here! Guess limitless powers of magic isn't so limitless now is it?

Sincerely, Your Faithful Student, Twilight Sparkle

P.S. Conjure us some guns FFS or we're all screwed!

Satisfied with the lack of grammatical errors, the unicorn rolled up the scroll and handed it to Spike. With the letter resolved, she turned towards her friends who were sat around the living room table to discuss the matter at hand; Why they all felt they were in some horrible fanfiction.

"Girls, our situation isn't getting any better. The zombie ponies are becoming too numerous and the attacks are happening more often than usual. Our supplies are beginning to dwindle gone and Canterlot can only give us so much support. We may have to abandon Ponyville soon." Her plan had been met with disdain.

Honestly, I'm surprised they lasted as long as they allegedly have...

"Ya know I can't do that, Twilight. I just can't abandon my family trade like that! Where would we go anyway?" Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy murmured their agreements with Applejack.
"I can't just leave Mr. and Mrs. Cake to defend themselves. That would be so mean!" Pinkie added.

With a name like “Cake” are they REALLY worth saving?

"I still believe we have a fighting chance against these uncouth undead. My vote's with Pinkie and Applejack. Fluttershy, what say you, dear?"
"Um…I think we should stay as well." Although the consensus agreed on staying, Twilight felt that she had to add her two cents in.
"If we remain here, our supplies will eventually vanish. The Weather Pegasuses can't give us the proper storm for our crops to flourish while they're under attack. We nearly lost Rainbow Dash the last time we tried that."
"Don't remind me," she piped up. "It was an awful night. Who knew rotting flesh can fly?"

We might want to start betting on who they're going to eat first. If anyone has heard of “Cupcakes” then I think you know which one will resort to cannibalism first.

"Which is exactly why we need to make our move soon. We can move to neighboring cities and fortify our positions there. Right now, we need numbers and I do not like our odds of survival against the hording undead. I know its incredibly difficult easy for us to simply leave our beloved town behind. But Ponyville won't be dead as long as its citizens survive." Despite all the logic and evidence backing her plan up, Twilight still noticed a glint of doubt in her friends' eyes that no one gave a shit. They wouldn't stare at her directly when she looked towards their direction out of fear of retribution. They knew Twilight was right. But the idea seemed so ludicrous! This time, Fluttershy spoke her peace.
"But… what about the sick and the elderly?" Twilight visibly cringed at the Pegasus's inquiry. She knew the question would eventually pop up, but it still hurt to give the answer that no one wanted to hear.

Wouldn't they be the first to fall victim to the zombies?

"I, I'm afraid we will have to leave them behind use them as a distraction. They won't be able to travel under these conditions. And they would slow down everyone, which puts everything at risk." Her friends were stunned by what she had just said. Applejack was the first to recover from the shock.

Survival of the fittest, idiots! DEAL WITH IT!

"I can't believe you would say such a thing! Of all the ponies to say such words, I'd expect you to be the last first one." The backlash was painful, but the unicorn had to say it . There was no point in hiding any detail from her friends.
"I'm sorry, dear morons. But if you suggest we abandon defenseless ponies, then I simply cannot abide by your plans. It may very well be a sound idea, but it goes against every fiber of our being to commit such acts of selfishness."

So the stuck-up, high-class one grows a conscience when the shit hits the fan?

Everypony agreed with Rarity's little speech. Twilight merely sighed. In the face of adversity, logic will not triumph. Apparently, no one in Ponyville has heard of that yet. But, she knew when she was defeated.
"I'm sorry for suggesting such a thing, girls. I just want what's best for the general public."

Funny how politicians say the exact same thing and...yeah...

"Its okay, Twilight," Pinkie Pie beamed. Even in such a dark situation, she somehow remained positive. Though, of course, laughing at the zombies wouldn't make them disappear. "We're all still pals! We simply have to think of a better plan of attack." Twilight couldn't help but smile. Pinkie's happy-go-lucky demeanor was rather infectious. Perhaps the magic of friendship will prevail through the darkest of times after all. That or ignorance truly is bliss...

Suddenly, a horde of zombies broke down their door and proceeded to eat all inside!
THE END


As the quartet travelled through the wormhole, they noticed that it was taking a little longer than usual for them to reach their destination. Once they reached the other side of the wormhole, they pushed through at once, which unknowingly created a violent reaction causing all to evacuate their bowels. As they were warped back into the third dimension, a loud explosion ringed in their ears and a bright flash of light blinded their eyes. Dust filled their lungs as they tried to get a grip on where they had just appeared.
"Ugh, I don't feel well…" Said Takeo, the Imperial Japanese soldier.
"Suck it up, Tak. At least we don't have to deal with those freak bags." Dempsey replied. The quartet climbed out of the crater and began to take in their new surroundings.

All four responded at once, “WHAT THE FUUUUUUU~”

Though some of the town was ravaged from the fighting, the rest of Ponyville still maintained its colorful luster and bright hues. After being surrounded by death and decay for so long, the humans had a hard time registering it. "Whoa, where the hell are we?"

If it was hell it'd probably be nicer.

"I don't know Dempsey. But that's not important right now! Where's my vodka bottle?" Nikolai dove back into the crater, frantically looking for his beloved drink. The Marine merely rolled his eyes.
"What a peculiar shitty environment," inquired Doctor Richtofen. "I must look further into this Gersch Device. If it has the ability to travel through different realities, who knows where we might end up next?"

How about a reality where bad fanfics don't exist, can you take us there?

Dempsey ignored the Nazi's ramblings. He and Takeo turned their attention to a group of ponies, who were staring at them with a mixture of fear and curiousity. There was something unnatural about this batch of equines. For one, two of them had a single horn coming out from the head, much like a unicorn. One was suspended in the air by the flapping of its wings. And the color of their pelts were eye-popping way too bright, to say the least.
"Either I'm drunk, or that pony over there is freakin' pink! And to whom it may concern, yes, I did find my stash." Although they were incredibly wary of these odd creatures, Twilight still felt that they should welcome them.

That first sentence that actually seems like a legit response.

"Hello. My name is Twilight Sparkle. And the place you just…uh, appeared in is Ponyville."
"Whoa HOLY SHIT, a talking horse! This is almost as cool as that Wonder Waffle Kill it with fire!" Richtofen shuddered at Dempsey's butchered pronunciation of his greatest invention, the Wunderwaffe DG-2. Before anyone else got a chance to introduce each other, the sirens blared out their deafening call attracting every zombie within 10 miles to their exact location. The ponies were immediately on alert while the humans remained muddled.
"Oh no, not now! Pinkie, Fluttershy, I need you to guide our guests to the safe house with the big red door. The rest of us will fight off these zombies. Sorry, guys. Introductions will have to wait." When Twilight looked towards the quartet, she noticed an odd look of annoyance in their eyes. Well, stranger than what she was used to in seeing a human, anyway. She couldn't help but question their sudden silence. "We're kind of in a middle of an undead crisis here. Can you please cooperate?"
"Cooperate? Oh, we'll do one better Hell no. I haven't taken such a long break from destroying these nasty squags in quite a while."
"I would dare not sit out of a battle. It would be most dishonorable!"
"As much as I would like to sit and drink, those zombies are really pissing me off. Always following us wherever we go…"
"Ja, I am quite interested in seeing these pony zombies. Maybe a dissection of them will prove beneficial to my research…" Although Twilight did not know how skilled these new arrivals were at killing zombies, any help would be appreciated by the townsfolk. No matter how sick in the head they sounded.

Why do I get the feeling that we're in for something terrible?

"If you guys insist so much, I can't force you to change your mind. Alright, follow us! We're going to split up and defend key places. Once all is done, we'll guide you to the town square and talk some more. Until then, good luck, everypony!"

We'll need it if we're going to make it through this story.

AN: In the next chapter, we will see what happens at Sweet Apple Acres.

I'm hoping for some scorched earth! We'll pick this smelly turd back up next time.

This post has been edited by SM2142: Feb 12 2012, 08:14 PM

[Airrider]

Man, that's why I'm not qualified for a fic in that fandom. I just look at the CoD Zombies playable characters as interchangeable dudes with funny voices to play as and get horribly killed when someone decides to blow their points on the shiny gun on the wall rather than buying ammo and holding the line.