What is War?, Pony don't hurt me... Options

[T_K_17]

Hey every*o*y, and welcome to Another Unfinished T_K_17 Mock. This one features those lovable quadrupeds, ponies, along with one very ordinary Gary Stu.

Now, when looking at a Gary Stu author, it helps to learn as much as you can about the author before reading his story so you can see just how Stuish his Stu is. In this case, "demonhorse103" is a member of the Canadian Royal Air Cadets, a WW2 buff, and likes hockey. He is also loves dragons, mechs, furries, and video games. In other words, he is a stereotypical Canadian nerd. The most telling factoid about him is that he loves pairing up his OCs with anthropomorphic animal girls.

The hero in this story, meanwhile, is a WW2-era Canadian soldier who falls in love with an semi-anthropomorphic animal girl. Hmm...

Well, on with the mock!

---

Hey Demonhorse103 here and I was bored one day and since I started watching My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic I decided to write a fic about it.

That’s exactly what I said when I watched it. Only instead of “write a fic about it” I said “do something productive and beneficial with my life”. I then played video games.

!WARNING!

Gah! Don’t scare me like that!

This fic is M rated and may have Adult situations, Some Yaoi, Yuri, and straight smex scenes

No matter your sexual preference, you can still be utterly horrified by pony sex prose typed by a retard.

if you are under 18 of age don't read and I wont' be excepting flames

Excellent. He won’t suspect a thing!

Summery: (suck at summaries)

And spelling.

a human from a different world and era who somehow finds himself in Equestria near the village of Ponyville. Now he's stuck in their world for how long and will he cope with his new lifestyle?

Well once you get past the musical numbers and horse puns it can’t be too hard to live in.

It was a regular Day in Ponyville the sun was shining, there were no clouds in the sky

Yeah I know, and the birds were singing too, right?

thanks to a blue Pegasi mare with a Rainbow mane and tail.

Who was promptly sued by Rainbow Dash for trademark infringement.

She zipped past the clouds making the clouds disappear. (Let's get to the main character)

Yeah, okay. That’s enough of that last scene.

in the ever free forest a figure was walking/limping in the woods.

”He was walking. No wait, he was limping! I mean walking! Or maybe limping…"

The figure stood 5'9", he was wearing old combat boots, he was wearing Grey Taki combat uniform, and he was wearing a steal helmet.

Hey! Give it back!

Slung over his shoulder was a .303 SMLE No.1 Mark III*, the uniform had a patch saying Canada, and a brass pen with the numbers 4 and 9 on the collar.

These details are important guys. There will be a test later.

"Where am I?" he question to himself while limping through the forest.

”And what is war?”

He continued walking before passing out on in a clearing in the forest.

The sugar-infused air gave the poor man hyperglycemia.

A figure stood on the edge of the clearing watching him; she wore a cloak that covers her striped body. She was different from all the other ponies matter of fact she is a Zebra the only of her kind to live near Ponyville.

She’s so different from the other ponies that she isn’t actually a pony. By this reasoning you could say I that I too am different from the other ponies.

She slowly walked up to the figure to the point she was standing over him, "hmmm? What kind of creature are you?" she questioned before grabbing the figure by the collar dragging him to her home.

HEY! THAT DIDN’T RHYME! WHY NOT STICK YOUR FINGER IN ITS BUTTHOLE WHILE YOU’RE RAPING CANON, MR. RAPIST!

Meanwhile in Ponyville in the library in the center a purple unicorn pony was reading a book

The Black Stallion is a steamy romance novel in the Ponyverse.

until she heard the door slamming open. She turned to the intruder with an annoyed look, "Spike I told you I wanted to be alone for a bit" the Purple unicorn told a young purple dragon with a green belly.

It’s critical that you know he has a green belly. You haven’t forgotten the test, have you?

"I'm sorry twilight" Spike apologized to the mare. The purple mare sighed and she got up from her spot, and then walked to the door. "Spike stay here I'm going to Zecora's hut in the everfree forest for tea okay" she said to the young wyrm before she shut the door after exiting.

Twilight: “Since there’s no way I’m getting off to this book now, my only option is to help push the plot forward.

Spike opened his mouth before she shut the door but closed it after she did.

He was going to make a “plot” joke but thought better of it.

The dragon then sighed and went up to his/twilights room and went to take a nap.

The man groggily woke up and shooked his head then looked around inside a hut confused. "Where am I?" he asked himself as he continued to look around the hut.

”Also, what is war?”

shooked

The hooded zebra stepped inside the hut and she looked at him with a small smile. "You are in my hut strange one" she answered the man. The man looked at the source of the voice seeing the hooded zebra and looked at her with a questioning look. "Uhh… Did you just talk?" he asked the zebra. The zebra chuckled and used one of her hoofs to bring the hood down revealing her black and white striped head; she had large gold hooped earrings and a large gold choker around her neck. "Yes I did talk strange one" she said to the man.

Man: “Oh no, the Nazis have perfected talking horses! Now their war machine will be unstoppable!”

She walked to a table and poured some herbal tea then walked slowly towards him. "My name is Zecora and I must ask what are you?" she asked the man before placing the cup on the bed beside him. "Uhh… I am a human and my name is Richard Macdonald" he answered her question.

Richard: “My father was named Ronald and my mother, Grimace.”

"Canada, Royal Edmonton 49th Regiment, sergeant" he also said to the zebra. Zecora looked at him with a strange look, "what are you telling me?" she asked him.

Richard: “My Call of Duty stats.”

Richard looked at her dumbfounded, "Uhh nothing important" he said "the name is Richard Macdonald" he then told her.

His father was named Ronald and- wait a second…

Richard picked up the cup that was beside him and drinks some of the tea, and tried his best to stomach down the strange brew which eventually worked. "Uhh excuse me?" he asked the zebra; "Where am I?" he asked Zecora.

Zecora: “Well after drinking that poison, you will soon be in Hell, like the rest of your kind.”

The zebra mare looked over at the male human with interest after he asked the question. "You are in the land of Equestria populated by the pony folk that lives in the village nearby and other villages in Equestria" Zecora explained. The man looked down with shocked inside him but he kept his cool.

Don’t let ‘em see your fear, Rick. That’s when they pounce.

"So I'm not in the city of Ortona in Italy?" he asked the zebra. Zecora chuckled as he asked the interesting city name, "where ever that is Richard you are not in the city you speak of" she told him.

Zecora: “Unless you are speaking of Coltona in Italoosa, in which case it is right over that way.”

The man looked down a little shocked but depressed that he wasn't in his world. "Does that mean I'll never get back home to fight the 2nd German Paratrooper division?

Sorry, but no. If you are quick enough, though, you may get back in time fight the 7th German Paratrooper division.

And I'll never see my buds in the war ton city as well?" he thought to himself. While loss in thought Zecora heard someone trotting towards her hut and she smile and got a tea pot ready for one of her teas.

Zecora: “Another unsuspecting victim stumbles into my domain.”

Just as she got the water boiling a purple unicorn walked in not seeing the human she walk towards Zecora sighing. "What is wrong twilight?" the zebra asked the mare. Twilight sat down on a table and adjusted her seat before answering, "oh it's just it's starting to get bored at Ponyville" she explained. "Nothing to do over their and I read all the books already and it also get boring if you reread the books also" twilight finished.

Twilight: “If only there was some handsome, bipedal Canadian soldier with a love of Mobile Suit Gundam and a large cock to shake up my dull, dull life.”

The man didn't make any noise or word he just watch astonished as there was another talking horse or unicorn in the hut. "So there is another talking horse but this one is a unicorn" he thought to himself before taking a small silent sip of his tea.

Richard: “Hmm, the PTSD took effect much sooner than I expected.”

Zecora chuckled as she poured the hot water in two empty cups then added the herbs in the water. She handed one to twilight, "maybe it is because those books had gotten tired of you re reading them" Zecora said before chuckling followed by twilight.

What Zecora means is that Twilight really needs to get laid. Which means that she knows exactly what this story is about.

Richard too let out a chuckle then twilight ears picked up the chuckling behind her and she look then gave a surprised gasp at the sight of him. "Who or what are you?" she asked him,

Twilight: “PUT DOWN YOUR WEAPONS. YOU HAVE 20 SECONDS TO COMPLY.”

Richard was about to speak before Zecora interrupting him. "He is a new guest his name is Richard Macdonald, from a land called Canada and part of the Loyal Edmonton 49th regiment and also he is a creature called a human" Zecora explained.

Zecora: “And yes, there will be a test.”

Twilight looked at the zebra with a dumbfounded expression on her face then shook her head to get her mind set. "Wait wait wait" twilight said repeatedly

Twilight: “First things first: What the fuck is a ‘guest’?”

"you're saying he is from a different world?" she asked. Richard chuckled, "well yeah" he answered; "and you're part of an army for royalty?" twilight then asked. Richard had a hand behind his head scratching it,

Worst part of living in Equestria: the disembodied hands.

"well… if you can put it that way I'm part of the Royal Canadian Army, Canada's 1st Infantry Division Loyal Edmonton 49th Regiment or Loyal Eddy's" he explained, "but our army fights for a larger empire that has royalty but we got dragged in a war because the Brit's dragged us in to it because they declared war on another country called Germany" he finished.

Canada actually joined WW2 of their own free will after being given sovereignty after WW1. How bad must it feel for a WW2 buff to be as bad at history as Mykan?

Twilight looked at him with a more quizzical look "what is war?" she asked him.

While rhythmically bobbing her head to the left.

Richard sighed and reached in to his left breast pocket and pulled something out that was a small rectangle object.

His copy of Fire Emblem for the GBA will teach her all she needs to know.

"I heard the books you read are boring you can read this It'll explain everything about the war I was fighting" Richard said before tossing his journal.

Evidently it will not teach you much about punctuation.

The journal made a thumping sound as it landed on the floor; Twilight looked at the journal and used her magic to lift it up. She then bowed in gratitude, "thanks for the new reading material"

”for me to burn.”

she then walked towards the door but stopped then looked at the stranger. "Uhh if it doesn't trouble you do you want to come with me to Ponyville?" she asked him.

Twilight: “It’s my turn for the weekly sacrifice and I don’t want to give up Spike just yet.”

He thought about then got up; he looked around for his stuff but stared at Zecora. The zebra chuckled and pointed by the door their laid his pack, his mess kit, and his SMLE No.1 Mark III* Enfield rifle.

Just say “rifle”; no one cares what mark it is and shit.

He placed his pack on with the mess kit clinging against the bag. He then picked up his rifle and slunged over his shoulder;

slunged

he picked up his helmet and put it on then walked out the hut waiting for twilight. The purple mare walked out and walked down the path followed by Richard who unslung his rifle from his shoulder. He pulled the bolt back then pushed it back loading a round which made a clicking noise. Twilight looked over at the human with a quizzical look wondering what he was doing.

Twilight: “What? No, Richard! You have so much to live for!”

"What are you doing?" she asked him with her soft voice, Richard looked at the pony that came shoulder height to him.

Shoulder height? What part of “little pony” do you not get?

"Oh this" he held up his rifle to show her, "it's my weapon my rifle it's called an Enfield and it's what I use to fight a war and this" he pulled out his sword bayonet and placed it on his rifle. "This is a bayonet it what gives me the use of close quarter combat when a Fritz comes up to me face to face" he finished explaining.

Richard: “I pulled it out in case we get jacked by a squad of adorable bunnies on the way to Ponyville.”

Twilight looked at the object with amazement and reached out at it with one of her hoofs. Richard pulled the bayonet back swiftly; "whoa their filly I don't want you to cut yourself" he said. "Oh okay" twilight said before she went back to walking, Richard chuckled and followed.

Do ho ho. She didn’t notice it was made of plastic.

Well this is chapter 1 of the my little pony fic I hope you like it R&R please and thank you and no flames please

How about this: You are a faggot and should go stick your head in a microwave before touching another keyboard.

No, but seriously, I love and tolerate you.

---

So to recap: A man who is way too into his LMSF Marky Mark 576 or whatever randomly plops into Ponyville and accidentally dodges several attempted murders, chuckling all the while.

Well, now that that's out of the way, it's time for that test I mentioned earlier. What, you thought I was joking? Of course not!

1. What is the name of his rifle?

2. Who zipped past the clouds making the clouds disappear?

3. Why is Zecora different from the other ponies?

4. Who is Richard's father?

5. What color is Spike's belly?

6. What the fuck is a guest?

7. What is the worst part of living in Equestria?

8. What is war?

Submit your answers in a PM. Winners get pony porn.

This post has been edited by T_K_17: May 14 2013, 09:09 AM

[Zana]

I think I'll opt for an 'F' this time.

So why is it that whenever someone magically plops down into a fictional world, they take it surprisingly well? Never do they freak the fuck out like a normal person would. What, are soldiers trained for this sort of thing? Because if I woke up to colorful, talking horses, I'd be wondering who drugged me.

[The Chosen]

So far, my favorite character is the *copypaste* SMLE No.1 Mark III* Enfield rifle.