Online Smacktalk Thread, and non-online smacktalk Options

[Matto]

So kiddies, are you enjoying all those new games? Of course you are. Do you play online with your buddies too? Yup, you do. Do you compare scores on the leaderboard?

...Wait... wait wait wait. You said 'no?' Because of cheaters you say? Well fuck son, that's terrible. Well here is a thread for you, because nothing says "I'M BETTER THEN YOU!!" then shoving your time trails/high scores/kill hits in another person's face.

That's what this thread is for. Go hog wild kids. Set challenges of different sorts. I'll be fun. Online, offline, Mario Kart.

Yup.

[Master of AFTER]

So, this is essentially a thread to brag about our gaming accomplishments, then? Well, here are a few random game-related feats I'm especially proud of:

BlazBlue: Continuum Shift - Beat Score Attack mode.
Beating SA mode in this game requires more in the way of patience and practice than any conventional form of talent when it comes to fighting games, but I still accept this as a braggable achievement since such a small percentage of people in my skill bracket (read: players who suck) have done it.

Donkey Kong Country 3 - Got a save file to 103% completion.
I know 3 is the easiest of the 'Kong' SNES games to get full completion, but this still took some serious dedication. Skill aside, I don't think I could do something like this nowadays simply because I lack the patience needed to seek out every little carefully-hidden bonus and secret in a game as huge as this.

God of War - Beat Challenge of the Gods mode.
Don't believe the YouTube videos that make this shit look easy—beating CotG mode in the original God of War remains one of the most infuriatingly difficult tasks I've ever completed in any video game. Start to finish, these ten challenges took me over four hours to finish, and 90% of that time was spent screaming at my TV and creating new swear words that would make Richard Pryor do a spit-take. Bull-headed stubbornness was the only reason I was able to finish the tenth and final challenge, which I later found out the game creators purposely designed to be as frustrating as possible (no joke).

Lumines - Maxed the score at 999,999.
Not much to say about this one... It just took a lot of practice and many, many attempts. Not sure the skin you unlock for maxing the score is worth the effort, but whatever...

Peggle - Beat every normal challenge.
Okay, so being good at this game is at least 50% luck. I don't care. Do you know how many hours in total I had to sink into this fucker to beat every single challenge? The one where you have to finish ten stages in a row without a miss took me weeks to beat just by itself. And now I'm working on the Nights challenges because I'm idiot I guess.

Super Mario World - Found all 96 exits.
This isn't so tough, right? Not when you have the internet and GameFAQs, no. Back in 1994, however, the only way to locate every hidden exit was to consult a strategy guide or methodically scour every inch of every single level and try to figure out what the hell the developers wanted you to do. And since I didn't own a strategy guide to this game until years later... Yeah.

Super Smash Bros. Melee - Earned every single trophy.
I played this game so goddamn much a few years ago that I literally ran out of things to do in it. I starting collecting the harder trophies out of boredom more than anything, and I eventually got every single one available in the US version of the game (I even had a friend bring over his copy of Pikmin so I could unlock the Captain Olimar trophy).

Resident Evil (GameCube remake) - Beat Real Survivor mode.
Looking back, I'm not sure what motivated me to do this. I guess I just thought it would be interesting to try to replicate a "real" survivor-horror scenario and see how I did, I guess. RE isn't a terribly long game, but it started to feel like it after I got myself stuck in an unwinnable situation and had to reset for the third time... It's no surprise when playing a horror game results in bad dreams, but I was pretty taken aback the morning after I had a nightmare about inventory puzzles.

[Al_Cone]

Landing a Warlock's Punch on Meta Knight and Marth, at the same time, to end a round of Brawl. Slowest move in the game hitting two of the swiftest characters in the game, simultaneously. And it was a game-winner, at that.

Also, on my first playthrough of New Vegas, I got through most of the game without realizing that there were companions. So I single-handedly laid siege to Cottonwood Cove, stormed Black Mountain and dueled Legate Lanius and his guard one-on-four, and came out on top each time.

[Gold_TSG]

Beat event 40 in brawl minus on hard mode in 2.06 seconds with the dorfinator.

[Tonfa]

I was one of the top 180 Bang Shishigami players in BlazBlue CS1

Speaking of which, that game also marked the first piece of hate mail I ever got on the PSN:

I got matched up with a Taokaka, and as soon as the match starts I begin my offensive with Bang, and after one combo, I realize that this dude isn't doing anything...at all.

So I back off to the other side and wait a while because for all I know some emergency may have come up, phone call or he got hit with the runs at the most inappropriate moment, it happens. And I don't want to be a douche and beat up on someone who isn't there.

Few seconds later, he sends me a message saying "hurry up" and another one with the same subject like 2 seconds later. I'm thinking, OK...he could've hit jab a few times to signal that he was back. So I start fighting again. And he continues to.....not do anything.

Start of the second round. Sends me some more messages the first being "70 seconds". Why? I dunno. That round was over in 70 seconds, he sent me another message saying "it takes you 70 seconds to win". If he was trying to make a crack at how long I took to beat him while I waited for him to actually do something, he did a shitty job of it, and another without a subject in the middle of the match saying "gooks are fucking stupid".

Then he starts playing as I'm reading the message, so I close the message screen as quickly as I can, get back in the game and kick his ass.

The match ended with me not knowing what the hell happened. Only to get one more message saying "thanks for wasting a bunch of my time asshole."

And with that I replied saying that he should "actually try PLAYING next time." Put him on the block list and filed a complaint.

So ends the anecdote of MICHAEL419.

[P Dot Alex]

I got called a hacker for playing Veigar in League of Legends well twice at least.

[Soba]

I'm currently trying my damndest to make dawn of sorrow difficult for me. The limitations I've come up with (to test myself, for fun) are to do a hard mode no souls (except ones you need to advance) pistol only run. I may let myself at least use the silver gun to have a slight boost.

[Al_Cone]

Hitting all the Kerotans in MGS3 and scoring the Stealth Camo. Yes, including the ones during the bike chase.

[DraculaMarth]

Tolerating Hambo (from Action 52) for more than 20 seconds

[Akasu]

Back when I would play Uncharted 2 multiplayer with friends, I ended up going 36/2 in Plunder (despite the fact that kills and deaths don't mean much of anything in it.)

Lasted the full 20 minutes against Rock Gagan on Tales of Graces ƒ. Almost beat him with Cheria, too, but I was underleveled.

I've 100% completed LoZ: Ocarina of Time in about 10 hours. That's not hard to do, though.

I've played every Zelda game that's been released in America, except for the CD-i games. (I'm sure there are others that have done this, too, but I've never met/talked to anyone.)

After thinking about it, I don't really have too many gaming accomplishments. I usually just play for fun.

[T_K_17]

Got the Platinum Trophies in Uncharted 1 and 2 and have 100% completion of every Ratchet and Clank game except for Secret Agent Clank and All 4 One.

[AverageGuy]

I can get any shiny Pokemon on Platinum in thirty minutes without cheating. This is because I caught a wild Staravia once, didn't level it, and found my secret ID. Now I can use RNG manipulation all I want.
Likewise, I've won a few tournaments with my team. Each member has 31 IV's in at least two stats, is EV trained, and has the right nature. You have no idea how long it took to breed down those IV's. My team of Gyarados, Gengar, Forretress, Swampert, Umbreon, and Breloom has not lost once. (I only take them to level 70 tournaments though.)

Mmm... otherwise, I'm not much of a gamer. I got 100% completion on Ocarina of Time, Majora's Mask, Twilight Princess, and Wind Waker, but everybody's done that.

I've always liked card and strategy games better.

[NiGHTS Noob]

I've beaten every Ninja Gaiden game. Yes, even the bullshit that is three.

I'm not really too much of a challenge gamer though, usually. I beat Ys: The Oath in Felghana, before they rereleased it with a significantly lowered difficulty.

I can also beat the Contra games without the Konami Code.

Oh, and I beat Super Robot Taisen OG2 on ExHard mode, which was surprisingly not that bad despite the pitifully low amounts of damage you did against guys regenerating huge chunks of life. It was more an endurance trial than anything.

[Soba]

I've beaten every Ninja Gaiden game. Yes, even the bullshit that is three.

I'm not really too much of a challenge gamer though, usually. I beat Ys: The Oath in Felghana, before they rereleased it with a significantly lowered difficulty.

Significantly still amounts to a rough time on normal. Hard is a big leap, and I could only imagine what inferno and nightmare are like

[Gold_TSG]

I can beat anyone here in Brawl Minus. That is all.

[Max-Vader]

Man oh man, for playing videogames so much, I have little to brag about. Here goes:

Got every Dschinn, beat every dungeon and boss in Golden Sun, including Crossbone Isle and Deadbeard.

Not much to say. It isn't actually that hard with a little strategy, but still worth mentioning since that dungeon is long, arduous and annoying as fuck.

Got all 72 Dschinns and every summoning, beat every dungeon and boss in Golden Sun: The Lost Age, not including Dullahan and the Iris-summon he guards.

Look, I can put up with an insane amount of bullshit from bosses. I played Disgaea 1-3, for fuck's sake. Golden Sun TLA has four superbosses that are harder than the final boss. Valukar, some dragon in a volcano? No problem. Sentinel, an armor that regenerates every turn and blasts you with powerful spells? I can deal with it. The Star Magician, a cheating little cocksucker who acts twice per turn and summons minions? Oh, and these minions either constantly heal him for 1000 HP per turn, blast you with powerful spells, suicide-bomb in your face for massive damage or REDUCE ALL YOUR ATTACKS THIS TURN TO ONE DAMAGE. By the way, he has four of those fucking things to start with and 7486 HP. But I still managed to defeat him. This is just to give you an idea how much worse the last boss is: Dullahan. The highest HP of all bosses in the series, eats damage like Michael Moore eats burgers, has powerful and crippling attacks that hit your entire party... but I could potentially deal with all that. However, there is more. See, a major aspect of the game is binding Dschinns to you, which raise your class and stats, allowing you to access virtually all powerful abilities there are. Without them, you are nothing, even at high levels. You can use them individually for a unique powerful ability in battle, then they are on standby. Dschinns on standby don't give you bonuses, but you can use them to access devastating summoning-spells that rape the enemy. The more you use, the more powerful it is. After that, they regenerate for one turn and then automatically join with you again (giving you their bonuses) one per turn. It's actually a very clever system that allows for a lot of custumization and strategy. The problem here? Number one: Dullahan can use YOUR Dschinns to summon Charon, the second-most powerful summoning in the game and use him to kill your ass. And since you have so many Dschinns on standby because you wanted to use a summon for yourself, this will most likely end in everyone being dead. you lose. And then, there is his worst ability which will turn you into his bitch. Dschinn Storm. What does it do? Well, all your Dschinns are now REGENERATING. That means you are now weak as shit, barely have any HP, magic or defenses against his attacks, it'll take several turns to even get within spitting range of your actual power again, and you don't have your healing magic, powerful attack spells or resurrection magic because you have no Dschinns. Oh yeah, and he acts three times per turn. Basically, if he uses this, you are dead. So dead.
Sorry for the rant. God, I feel like some jaded soldier explaining to you the origin of his PTSD. If you haven't fought him, you don't understand, man. You don't understand...

Got 100% completion on Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrow, Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin and Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia.

Again not much to say. Beat every boss, got every treasure, explored every secret in the castle.

Beat Julius Mode in Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrow.

Julius mode and the final bossfight against Somacula at the end are fucking awesome. And hard.

Beat hard mode with a level cap of 50, including the Training Hall and the Large Cavern in Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia.

The last game of the three DS-Castlevania-games is also by far the hardest. Even though Shanoa is fucking awesome, one slip-up with some of the nastier enemies or bosses means filthy rape for you. Especially with the above conditions. The Training Hall deserves special mention here, since it is an insanely difficult and dangerous tower involving the most insane jumping puzzles in probably any Castlevania game.

[NiGHTS Noob]

I beat Dullahan, and I've gotten every Djinn and 100% every single Golden Sun game.

I really didn't find him that hard. I actually beat him before I even fought Star Magician if I remember correctly. He was powerful, but I had three Masters and several good healing spells on my other characters. I also had the right equipment on Issac so that he got Megido from the Sol Blade around 95% of the time.

I was still able to beat him with summons though as well. As long as you don't put the djinn to summon Charon on standby and make due with the slightly weaker ones it's not too bad. Djinn Storm can still screw you over pretty hard though. You just gotta predict the Healing spells and set them up even when you're at high HP so you can heal the same turn he hits you and are able to survive even with the lowered stats.

Also there's a way to juggle your djinn that boost defense for one turn and hold him down to less than half damage the whole fight when he doesn't use Djinn Storm. Should keep you high enough on MP to make it through Djinn Storm OK. Also don't forget to switch out Healers to keep them fresh whenever you get the chance.

This post has been edited by NiGHTS Noob: Jan 5 2012, 10:11 AM

[Max-Vader]

Really? Well, damn. Now I look even less capable. Regardless, I'll never attempt to beat him again anyway, because Dark Dawn has kind of destroyed my enthusiasm to play Golden Sun. To put it another way: If Golden Sun was my "A New Hope" and Lost Age was my "The Empire Strikes Back", then Dark Dawn was "the Phantom Menace".

[NiGHTS Noob]

Yeah, Dark Dawn definitely wasn't anything special. But I definitely didn't feel it was that bad.

[Shmeckie]

During the time when people were actually playing it (online), I was #1 in the online rankings for Castlevania Judgment. By a very, very wide gap between me and the guy ranked second. I wasn't dethroned for several months, which was solely due to me not playing. When I stopped, so did most people, apparently.