Bokurano Redux, Reforged; Recaptured; Rejected
Bokurano Redux, Reforged; Recaptured; Rejected
Joined: 2-March 11
Member No.: 448
Jun 11 2011, 07:35 PM
Sorry it took so long to get this posted, Doctor O!
I've been really busy practicing for this year's festival! I know, I know... I've been doing this several years now, and I should be really good, but I'm not! I keep tripping and screwing up, mii. D:
Anyway, without further ado, here's the poop... erm, I mean fanfic!
I'll be writing in blue most of the time. Dr. O chose the evil color red! Scary!
So the author of that last fanfic, the Twilight fanfic, turned out to be disappointing, but I know that this author won't! The fanfiction is inspired by an anime called Bokurano, and I really liked it even though it made me really sad sometimes.
Wait, did somebody say Bokurano? I want in on this. This is Dr. O’s mock now, Rika. That would be me. I’m Dr. O.
Anyway, on with the fic!
Don’t you dare ignor-
I heard a voice...
Maybe it's my dead relatives trying to talk to me!
IS THAT YOU?
It was in the summer of our first year being middle school students that we had finally begun to see the true value of not only our lives, but of the whole world around us, as well.
This is fairly obvious irony, but still very well done! I'm so proud of you! Pachi pachi!
The weight of every single person on this planet was heaved unto our shoulders the day that we encountered 'it', despite how ignorant we had been of it at the time. And from the very moment that 'it' came into our lives, our youth had ended, leaving us to bear the true weight of adulthood and learn all that there was to being human.
Yes... we get "it".
“It” was a really annoying boss fight. Especially since you couldn’t cheese your way through it like with Krauser.
Through the days that the twenty of us endured together, we truly came to understand what it truly meant to live.
What it meant to hate.
If an evil clown told me what all of those things meant, I would be confused to.
(And now because of the awkward way you used “it”, I will forever think of the evil clown I wish I didn’t know about whenever I hear that simple word.
I hear that using sentence fragments is an excellent substitute for being thought-provoking. Here, look: I came to understand the meaning of a lot of things. To mock fanfics. To facepalm. To pick apart even the most miniscule flaws. Ooh look, I’m so philosophical.
The time had come, mii. To smile, mii. To laugh, mii. To throw tourists over the bridge, nipah.
You're right! It does work, mii!
Chapter 1: The Seaside Contractor
August 15, 2004
Sunlight shone brightly onto the countless graves of sand, heating the foot's sole for those among the twenty children that were not wearing sandals.
That was poor wardrobe choice.
But then people do silly things to be liked sometimes. Like wearing jeans that expose their panties. Or jumping off bridges whenever people tell them to.
(I don’t get that last one, but Satoko tells me it happens.)
With it being such a nice day out and their lessons done for the day, one of the dozen classes participating in the Mitomo City Summer Education Program had decided to take full advantage of such a day and enjoy a fun relaxing day at the city's beach.
This sentence is longer than it should be, I think.
But that’s small! You can still redeem yourself!
Many of the students barely knew each other, but those within the separate classes seemed to form their own type of posse. This class, in particular, seemed to take the most advantage of the fact that the summer school was actually by a BEACH, as the twenty classmates hardly saw anyone else from the summer school outside with them. A fact that they would find to be convenient for today, but could not see how inconvenient it would be for them in the days to come.
I get that you can foreshadow, and I think that's great, but can you... maybe move this story along?
All across the beach, all of the kids had found something to occupy themselves. Takashi Waku was rebounding his soccer ball off the rocks. Aiko Tokosumi decided to go for a swim in the ocean. Chizuru Honda just happened to be swimming, as well.
Thorough. To the point. Informative.
This fanfic is what every news station should be!
It's not what every fanfic should be though, nano-desu!
Daiichi Yamura and Mako Nakarai were sitting by the rocks and talking.
Bokurano had a huge cast, so by necessity most of them were little more than background characters for the majority of the show. Instead of trying to develop them all simultaneously, the writers would spend each episode on an individual or small group, thoroughly describing their background and motivation. It helped that the cast significantly shrank over the course of the show. I’m saying this because the fic’s author is introducing them by just throwing names at us, which kind of bodes.
I agree with you, daddy.
And I miss you very much.
Isao Kako was standing by the shore, gazing at Chizu swimming. Yosuke Kirie came up and made a comment to him, resulting in Kako slapping him in the back of the head.
"Hey, Kako. What are you doing?"
I put dialog in because you forgot it.
Try not to do it again!
Maki Ano and Maria Ichinose were playing frisbee with Yoko Machi and little Kana Ushiro, the youngest in the class. Kozue Kurasaka was laying on her towel, taking in the sun's rays, with her wheelchair by her side. She tried her best to ignore the game of frisbee, as she wished to join them, but knew it would be difficult for her to do so.
I feel like the author had to force himself not to keep going. It would have read: “Because she was in a wheelchair. Because her legs didn’t work. Which meant that she couldn’t jump around and have fun. Because her legs didn’t work.
Both Takami Komoda and Masaru Kodaka had decided to use this time out at the beach to read a book; Komo was reading what looked like a translated period piece from the west,
Well, at first glance anyway.
We actually find out that it's a translated modern piece from the EAST.
First glances are so deceiving.
OK, OK, so it was Twilight. Happy?
and Kodama was reading a science fiction novel. They both must have been very caught up into their books, as Kanji Yoshikawa and Nagi Namoto had been sitting by the two, hyping over the release of some new video game for Playstation that Maki had told them about earlier. Quietly sitting by the two was Tsubasa Hiiragi, one of Nagi's schoolmates.
I don’t mean to be rude, but… how long are you planning on keeping this going? You see, I’m very busy. There’s a butterfly in my coloring book with MY name on it. And you give me THIS?
Please get on with your story. Otherwise, there’s a Franklin-style school desk with YOUR name on it.
Kunihiko Moji, on the other hand, simply watched the others passed the early afternoon with happiness. He found it nice to be around such a lively bunch.
Lively how? Lively in the sense that it takes a long time for you to explain that they’re basically doing nothing?
Are we going to get descriptions for any of these people? Or is it just going to be “sandals list of names lively lol”
Well, save for one or two of the more dull ones who had kept to themselves, mainly Mayako Makishima and Jun Ushiro, Kana's older brother.
But I thought the whole point of bombarding us with dull, pointless text was to show us that there isn't anything interesting about this bunch!
I feel so cheated!
"Hey, Moji!" He turned to see Waku calling out to him, his right arm holding a soccer ball and his left arm waving him over.
"How long are you just gonna just sit there and stare, man? C'mon. How 'bout we play a quick game?"
"Waku," Moji warmly responded, "why would you bring a soccer ball out here? We're all the way on the beach, y'know."
The original Bokurano opening is quite deep, and the kids ask lots of big questions.
You would never find people saying things like “why would you bring a soccer ball out here?” The original writers might have come up with something like that, but then decided that it was silly and immediately erased it. Because they have sense.
"Yeah, but most of the others are either swimming or sunbathing on the rocks, and the only other thing going on is frisbee."
Which you can't do if you're in a wheelchair. So it was so nice of him to bring a soccer ball.
Waku then tossed the ball up in the air to bounce it off his foot. "And I'm a lot better at sports where I can kick something."
“Hey wheelchair kid! Wheelchair kid! Can you do this?
No you can’t. It’s because your legs are all screwed up and stuff!”
"Waku! Head's up!"
Before Waku could turn to face the familiarly tomboyish voice of Maki Ano, the accursed frisbee he went on about made a hard landing with the surface of his forehead, causing him to lose the kick of his soccer ball.
“Tomboyish.” So we know Maki’s a girl. With all the awesome description going on, I should make a spreadsheet to keep track of the characters.
Row A: Is in wheelchair y/n
Row B: Is wearing sandals y/n
Row C: Is of indeterminate gender
Row D: Preferred sport, soccer or frisbee
"Augh! Dammit, Maki! Would you watch your aim?"
"I think her aim was just about right." This sarcastic response came from none other than Maria, Waku's friend from school.
Well, who did you think it came from? Don Knotts?
It probably isn't him because he's dead.
...Rest in Peace Don Knotts. You will be remembered for all that you did for TV.
As Waku and the two girls went on, the rest of the group began to gather to the commotion.
"Hey, guys, something's actually happening!"
"Really?! I've waited my whole life for this!!"
"Man, you guys broke my balance. I had a good thirty kicks in a row going there."
"Oh, yeah?" Kako replied, eagerly grabbing the ball so as to show off, "I bet I could top that with no sweat."
Is that something boys do to show off? Because there was this one kid in my class who did that when nobody was looking, and I thought he was weird. It must just be something guys do…
But if he was showing off, why did he try to hide when he grabbed them? I’m so confused…
"Hey, you're more than welcome to try," replied Waku. Kako seemed to take this as an insult as he hastily tossed the ball to kick it, only to kick it hard into the rocks, causing it to rebound harshly.
...It doesn't like being kicked.
Everyone jolted their heads right at it with a fear of getting hit, mainly Kana, who the ball would of hit had it not been for the interception from Ushiro.
“It would have hit her but it didn’t.”
"Would you watch it, you moron? You're gonna give somebody a concussion," Ushiro said quite harshly to Kako.
"Hey, how was I supposed to know how hard to kick it?" Kako lamely responded, as if to excuse himself.
The author seems to frown upon people who kick balls too hard. So you know... don't do it. And don't lamely try to excuse your actions either. Because the fact is that's somebody's ball you're kicking.
"Like I've ever played soccer before." Nonetheless, a few of the kids still looked at him funny.
"Sometimes, we don't feel like we know you anymore! We get all attached, and then you pull stuff like this!"
“What do you think you’re doing? Not playing soccer is wheelchair girl’s job!”
"Guys, I'm right here..."
"Yes, but you're not ear level, so you can't hear us!"
"Hey, what's going on over here?" Anko asked curiously, returning from her swim with Chizu.
He kicked a ball too hard.
Since apparently nothing ever happens in this story, you'd better hit him with all of the anger you have inside. You're not getting another chance.
"Nothin' much," replied Kanji,
Opportunity missed=years of therapy.
"Waku and Kako were just having a little kick-off."
"C'mon, Kako. Kana could have gotten hurt..." Kirie added in before facing another slap across the head by Kako's hand.
What are you doing?
Your reaction makes no sense!
His reaction makes no sense!
I’m more concerned with how someone gets slapped across the head.
"Okay! would you all quit rubbing it in my face? God!" Kako seemed to be really agitated by Kirie's small comment, as if everyone in the class was ganging up on him.
I imagine they're all holding blunt objects and pounding them menacingly against the palms of their hands too, mii.
"Aw, just forget about it, guys," Maya replied from the sidelines, picking up the frisbee that hit Waku's head. "Let's just let bygones bey bygones and enjoy the nice day," she added as she tossed the frisbee with a hard aim.
You don’t want to be soft on aiming. It’s a hot-button issue that’s been the end of many a politician’s career.
I don't understand...
The group couldn't help but notice how much distance the frisbee got, almost as if the wind was dragging towards a specific area, guiding it down a singular path. The frisbee then proceeded to drift across the ocean, heading towards what appeared to be a shack out in the sea connected to the shore by a small pier. Eventually, the frisbee managed to go so far that it tapped the window of the shack.
Could it be...
A plot point?!
"Jeez, Maya," Kanji stated, "I wouldn't have thought that you'd be able to throw THAT far."
Kanji-Olympics Frisby Champion 2004
"My bad," Maya retorted, showing slight embarrassment.
"Well, I guess we're going to have to go get it," Waku soon implied. "I hope whoever lives there won't be too pissed off, or anything."
No. But he might eat you for dinner if you’re not careful.
...Don't take candy if he offers it to you!
They had no idea that the owner of that shack had their eyes on them throughout the whole day.
They need an adult?
He is an adult!
Soon, the whole group arrived at the shack to apologize. Maki and Maria had originally wanted to go apologize by themselves, since it was their frisbee in the first place, but eventually Waku managed to convince everyone to come along.
Because adults who love children are sneaky like that, nano-desu!
But you know, they can be pretty funny too though, so I'm not mad!
The shack, slightly worn and very damp in appearance, was made more difficult to approach by the narrowness of it's pier, so the kids had to approach it single-file. Waku stayed behind a bit to help Kozue get across. Eventually, they all made way to the shack's large patio and faced the crooked-looking door.
I know what you’re thinking. If you’re trying to lure kids, why would you make your house so difficult to approach?
My answer is that the harder it is to approach, the harder it is to run away.
"So, who's gonna knock?" Kako asked, nervously, "Well, don't think of asking me to do it. I wasn't the one who overshot the stupid frisbee."
"No, YOU overshot the soccer ball that almost gave my sister head trauma," Ushiro retorted, immediately pissing Kako off.
This doesn’t make any sense!
"Whatever, I'll knock." And so Ushiro proceeded to do so.
He should have surprised them by not doing it.
That would have been very surprising indeed.
The door was almost immediately answered by a tall, pale-looking man who looked to be about in his late thirties with white hair and rimmed glasses. The man appeared to be almost as friendly as he did shady at the same time.
So the guy who sits in his house all day and watches you play, all alone in a house with nobody watching him, in a house that’s almost impossible to get into, is shady?
That’s a surprise! I’m not sure if I can process all that…
"Oh, can I help you children?" The man inquired.
"Well, uh," Machi nervously began, feeling slightly off-put, "Y'see, we were kinda playing on the beach, and we accidently threw that frisbee over there towards your house, and..."
This is when you stop, drop, and roll, nano-desu.
Satoko taught me that. You run away while they’re paralyzed by confusion.
"Oh, so that was you kids. That was you kids..." The man murmured to himself, "Well, don't worry about it. It looks like you barely scratched it, anyway."
Yeah, Machi! Throw it harder next time!
"W-well..." Machi went on, "I guess we'll just take it and be on our way, then..."
"Oh, wait. Do you have to leave right now?" The man almost immediately asked, "Are you sure you wouldn't want to stay for a bit? Maybe if I could offer you some tea-"
This is where you say, “No.” If he had written in people that made any sense, they would all be gone, far away. Sure, the original was creepy, but he didn’t sit alone in a shack and watch children playing.
"Thanks, but we really should be go-" Maki began, but then she caught a glimpse of some of the man's inner possessions, discovering that his shack was chockfull of computers. "Hey, mister, what's up with the crazy setup?"
DDoS attacks, duh. Kokopelli is a one-man cyber army.
"Oh right, my computers. My computers..." The man replied,
This man has to repeat things to himself twice to process them...
Don't laugh! It's a serious disorder!
"Well you see, I'm actually here working on this project, and I usually come here from time to time for some inspiration for development on certain ideas. Game development, if you will."
"Wait, you mean you're a game developer?" Nagi immediately asked with much enthusiasm.
It’s simple, really. He pisses away millions of dollars doing nothing, then releases a buggy beta and lets other people fix it with patches and DLC. Then the people who bought it complain about consoles ruining the industry.
It's funny because it happens in real life, nipah.
"Oh, yes, I am. Yes, I am..." He replied very monotonously, "To be honest, I was just working on a new game for which I could use kids like yourselves."
The kids looked at him very cautiously due to that comment. "Oh, as beta testers, of course. Of course...Why don't you come inside and I'll tell you all about it."
This paragraph needs no comment.
“My, what big bandwidth you have,” said Little Red Riding Machi.
“The better to download lolicon with,” said the kindly old man.
Though they felt very weary of him, the kids ended up coming into his shack. It was much more spacious than it looked from the outside, though surprisingly the only source of light the man had in his shack aside from his computer monitors came from his windows; he didn't have a single lamp or light of any kind in his roof.
In his ROOF?
Now I'm very confused.
"So, what sort of game ARE you making here?" Nakama asked very straightforwardly.
It’s an indie 2D sidescrolling platformer that appears innocent at first, but uses the simplicity of its characters and environments to create a bleak atmosphere that “gaming journalists” will describe as artistic.
Or a Super Mario World ROM hack.
That’s Nakama for you. Straight to the point. She doesn’t take anybody’s nonsense.
…So who’s Nakama again?
"Oh, it's a very interesting game, actually, though the setup is a tad cliché" The man quickly answered, "The game centers around an invasion from a certain number of enemies, specifically twenty enemies in this case. And the only defense that the Earth has to protect itself will be a colossal robot, nay, a pitch black behemoth, gifted with strength beyond mortal reckoning. This robot, kids, is to be helmed by none other than...yourselves."
“And… some other stuff, but that doesn’t matter really.
Oh no. Not at all. Not at all…”
"Dude, that DOES sound pretty cool!" Maki stated. There seemed to be a bright shine in her eyes.
But it was actually not a bright shine at all. It was a komodo dragon! With intense, fiery eyes! And a tail made out of lizard bones!
…I need to stop. I’m scaring myself now, mii.
"Yeah, I'm game." Kanji added.
"Well," said Waku, "I don't mind trying it out, I guess."
"Me neither," said Moji.
"Oh, well then," The man enthusiastically interjected. He then pulled out a red, arrow-like metal plate "If you're all interested, all you have to do is place you hand on this plate to 'contract' yourselves as pilots. It sounds corny, I know, but it'll be necessary for my program's server to let you play the game."
Oh! That reminds me of that one scene in that movie!
They were trying to get into the dragon pit, but they couldn’t get in, so they found a wall and one of the characters cut himself and he was bleeding all over the rocks!
And then the dragon killed him. And I cried.
I guess the lesson is don’t put your hands on foreign objects if you don’t know what you’re getting into.
Deception- it’s a lie inside a lie.
I had to participate in an arcane ritual to sign the EULA for Angry Birds. Worth it.
"Okay, I'll try it out," Waku said as he placed his hand on the plate. A text then flickered on one of the man's computers.
Takashi Waku, Age 13, Type B, Born March 20th 1991.
"W-whoa..." Waku stated with much surprise, "How does it know all that about me?"
“Because I stole your medical records before I abducted you.
Oh, by the way. You’re all abducted.
"Cool! Can I try next?" Maki asked excitedly.
Maki Ano, Age 13, Type O, Born July 19th 1991.
"Me too!" Kako hastily interjected.
Isao Kako, Age 13, Type B, Born August 4th 1991.
Soon, many of the others started to sign up.
The blood type isn’t really that important, is it? You could have just showed us once, right?
I think it’s a Japanese thing. But the author of this fanfic isn’t Japanese.
He’s just clueless.
Kunihiko Moji, Age 13, Type AB, Born June 20th 1991.
Mako Nakarai, Age 12, Type A, Born September 9th 1991.
Tsubasa Hiiragi, Age 13, Type AB, Born June 22nd 1991.
Kanji Yoshikawa, Age 13, Type O, Born March 3rd 1991.
I don’t even know my blood type. I think it’s some type of A. Maybe.
I still donate, of course. It’s just that blood type isn’t ever going to matter to me unless I need a transfusion, so it’s a curiosity at best. Also this part is stupid.
Jim Carrey is IB positive.
IB positive they ain’t sticking me with no needle.
(Rolling on the floor, laughing) Gets me every time. XD
Daiichi Yamura, Age 13, Type A, Born May 19th 1991.
Maria Ichinose, Age 13, Type O, Born April 28th 1991.
Nagi Namoto, Age 13, Type AB, Born June 18th 1991.
Aiko Tokosumi, Age 13, Type B, Born August 12th 1991.
Kozue Kurasaka, Age 13, Type B, Born July 11th 1991.
Yoko Machi, Age 12, Type B, Born December 5th 1991.
Masaru Kodaka, Age 13, Type O, Born December 29th 1990.
Takami Komoda, Age 13, Type A, Born March 15th 1991.
Chizuru Honda, Age 13, Type AB, Born February 14th 1991.
Author- “Oh no! How do I fill up an entire page?!”
Ain’t that the truth. You know, in Bokurano this scene was interesting because instead of just throwing names at us, it showed each of the kids making a decision. It was what started off the whole plot. So why does it get less description than kicking a soccer ball?
Kirie had been next in line to sign up, but he seemed to be very hesitant in making his decision.
"What's up, Kirie?" Waku curiously asked.
"I...I dunno, guys," Kirie nervously mumbled, "I'm just not sure about all this-" but before he could finish, Kako impatiently slapped his hand on the pad.
Yosuke Kirie, Age 12 Type A, Born October 15th 1991.
"Hey, what the hell, Kako?" Waku stated. "Couldn't you've given him a minute to think about it?"
"Hey, the sooner we all sign up, the sooner we can play," Kako simply stated. Maya then proceeded to sign up. She seemed to give a smirk as she did so.
But it was actually a face full of rage.
Mayako Makishima, Age 12, Type A, Born August 29th 1991.
Next to go up was Kana. Before signing up, however, she took a hopeful look at her brother.
"Jun, aren't you going to play, too?" Kana asked.
"Nah, I don't think so." Ushiro simply stated.
"But," Kana added, "I'd really like you to play, too. Otherwise it won't be as fun."
"C'mon, Ushiro," Waku butted in, "If we end up not liking it, we can always quit." The man looked at Waku sympathetically for making that statement.
No they can’t. Should have read the whole thing before clicking on “accept.”
Now they’re all going to turn into big, scary monsters when they give up on the world and their hearts are filled with despair!
And that’ll make me sad, but unfortunately, life is cruel like that. [color]
Ushiro finally gave in. "Oh, fine, I'll do it. You go ahead and sing up first Kana. I'll do it after."
[color=blue] Apparently, Ushiro has a fear of karaoke.
Feeling a bit happier, Kana proceeded to sign up as her brother asked her to do, with her brother following, as he promised.
Kana Ushiro, Age 10, Type O, Born June 25th 1994.
Jun Ushiro, Age 12, Type A, Born Noember 20th 1991.
"Oh, well judging from your ages, I would guess that you children are in middle school." The man assessed.
"Well, aside from Kana, yes," Waku retorted, "So how exactly do we play this game of yours, Mr...Oh. What's your name, anyway?"
The man hesitated for a moment. "Oh, well...You can just call me 'Kokopelli'."
The children looked at this Kokopelli person very curiously, after claiming to have a name as peculiar as THAT. "Just think of it as a pen name, if you'd like," Kokopelli quickly added. He then took a long pause.
“So, we were actually just wondering why the author wasted his time writing a fic like this.”
“Well, you’re the same person. We all appear to be more or less the same ensemble. So what gives? He couldn’t come up with anything better to do than rewrite the show?
I would complain, but sometimes replacing characters is a very bad idea.
Yes, but under the circumstances, it could be...
Oh, never mind, mii. No matter what this author does, it will be failure.
I had hope for you kid, but Twilight girl is beating you, nipah.
"Well, it seems the game has now begun."
The curios feelings the kids held towards Kokopelli only grew greater from that one line.
I lost the game.
Thought you ought to know.
Also, this line is terrible. Did he even bother with spell check? Sorry writer… you disappoint.
"Hang on," Kozue inquired, slightly leaning towards him from her chair, "Isn't this supposed to be a computer game, or something?" He noticed that the gaze in Kokopelli's eyes began to darken.
"No, I'm afraid not," Kokopelli stated very abruptly. "That will all be made very clear to you, very soon."
“So then, you lied to us all?”
“No. I just misled you.”
“Yeah… but I didn’t.” *wink*
"...Where's that lifetime supply of Wonka bars you promised me?"
The kids stared at him far more curiously than before, as if they were talking to a whole other person. "The next time we meet, I will demonstrate how to play the game to you. Until then, please try not to worry."
And before the kids could say anything, a wave of static overwhelmed them.
This static is in a wave!
And it is overwhelming me. mii!
(Sorry. Didn’t mean to shout in your ear.)
(I'm talking to the reader. Not to the departed spirit of my father who has taken up residence here.)
"Ugh, what happened...?" Daichi felt very sore after waking up from his nap on the rocks, although the nice and calm sunset upon the shoreline was able to help him feel a bit better. "Jeez, how late is it...Aw, man! Did I get left behin-"
Your friends just plain don’t like you. So they found you the least comfortable bed in the world and abandoned you on it.
But before he could finish, he immediately noticed that all the other kids were around him, and were sleeping as well. Waku slowly started to awaken from the deep pitch of Daichi's voice.
"Nmm...Hey, Daichi...Ugh, what time is it?" Waku groggily asked.
"I'd have to say it's pretty late in the afternoon," Daichi responded. "Look behind you." And so Waku slowly turned to face the sunset.
When somebody says to look behind you, don’t.
Always look in front of you.
Because that’s the only way you’ll see the semi truck.
"Man, that's beautiful...wait...Aw, man!" Waku suddenly realized exactly HOW late it must have been. "The teach is gonna throw a fit if we're late for dinner. Hey guys, get up!"
Slowly, all of the other classmates began to awaken from their mysterious slumber. As they all got up, nobody had made mention of how it is they came to sleep on the beach, or about the strange dream they unknowingly all shared: that dream about the man at the shack who signed them all into that strange game with the robot.
Intense waking up action.
Then they dreamed that they were flat characters in a terrible fanfic.
And they all agreed that would be very bad.
Once they had returned to the school building, the teacher had given them but a light scolding on the late hour of their arrival before letting them eat in the dining hall. Kids from the other classes that were in the dining hall snickered at them. As they all sat together, eating their dinners and conversing with one another, Maki couldn't help but let out a sigh pinging towards disappointment.
I had no idea Maki knew how to echolocate.
"What's wrong, Maki?" Moji asked.
"Ah, nothing really, guys," Maki replied, "It's just that game seemed like it'd be really fun...Aw never mind. I'm just talkin' about that stupid dream I had."
Everybody else: “It’s a good thing that dream wasn’t real. Because then we’d all have to fight giant robots. And maybe even die.”
Maki: “It’s a very bad thing that dream wasn’t real. Because now we can’t fight giant robots. And we might even live.”
Yet he noticed that as soon as he mentioned 'game', everyone gave him a slightly shocked look of disbelief. "W-wait a minute. Do...do you guys know what I'm talking about?"
"That...that dream," Kirie quietly replied, "about the man in the shack who wanted us to play a game, right?"
“It’s called ‘find the popsicle,’” Kokopelli said, his voice dropping to a delighted whisper. “The popsicle is in my pants.”
…But that would just make it melt quicker.
"Y-yes. Exactly..." Maki said with amazement.
I know, right? I don’t get his humor either!
"That's too weird," Anko added to the disbelief. "We couldn't have all had the same dream, right?"
"Then that could only mean," Chizu plainly replied, "that it wasn't a dream at all."
Dun dun DUUUUN!
The reality is that we’re still in the dream. The dream just is just two levels deep, nano-desu.
Or maybe even three!
...Nah. That’s just silly.
"In that case," Maria inquired, "wasn't that Kokopelli guy supposed to teach us about the ga-"
DON’T… SAY IT.
I’VE LOST TWO MANY TIMES TODAY.
But before she could finish, a huge rumbling sound vibrated through the building, knocking everyone onto the ground. But before the group hit the floor, the static wave overtook them once again.
Reality gets terrible reception out there. They should consider wrapping the antenna in tin foil.
Whenever I want to avoid static, I just don’t stick metal objects in plug thingies.
Because static hurts.
They were still lying on the ground, but they all noticed immediately that it wasn't the ground of their school building. Rather, they found themselves in a rounded, spacious, brown-tinted area.
Brown-tinted, eh? Must be a 360 game.
"W-where the hell are we?" Kako immediately asked, expecting someone to give him a quick and simple response.
"This is the cockpit," a voice replied to Kako. A voice familiar in his dreams. In all of their dreams.
The children then all turned to find that Kokopelli was in fact among them, sitting within a black armchair with three slender legs among a large ring of other types of strange chairs. He appeared differently than he did at first, however, as he now lacked the glasses he had on, making his eyes appear very narrow and hawklike, and had a large scar across his left cheek. He was also dressed completely in a long-sleeved black body suit with black boots. He almost appeared like a shadow, were it not for the pale gleam of his skin and long hair.
See, you can describe things!
And not one sandal description!
"I told you, didn't I?" Kokopelli asked. "We meet again, so now I am going to show you how to operate this robot."
"What?" Waku exclaimed. "We're actually inside a ROBOT right now?"
“It’s like my Japanese animes!”
You’re inside Al Roker’s stomach.
He ate you.
And now your duty is to control Al Roker, and have him fight giant robots.
"Don't beileve me?" Kokopelli plainly responded. "See for yourself." The kids noticed that the brown-tint had disappeared, and replacing it was a breathtaking view of the entire area around them.
Breathtaking, eh? Must be a Super Nintendo game, nipah.
"Al Roker's Terrific Rampage 2000"
The kids could see the beach, their school building, the city across. And just below them, they were able to make out a pair of long, black legs jetting to the ocean from beneath them. They WERE inside of a robot.
Kokopelli said they were in a robot, then they discovered they were in a robot. Best plot twist ever, 10/10.
No! Your eyes deceive you!
Do not abandon your Al Roker bot!
"This is incredible..." Kodama said without realizing that he was speaking out loud.
"Yeah, it's awesome," Maki replied. However, her attention drifted as a bright flash caught her eye. "Hey, what's that in front of us?" she pointed out. The kids all turned to face the front and see that Maki was not lying. A figure began to emerge before the robot from some kind of rift.
"It's time" Kokopelli said, with words filled with shear remorse.
No. Sheer remorse is when you really regret something. Shear remorse is when you feel bad about shaving a sheep.
-End of Ch.1-
In the next chapter: The strange game finally begins to unfold, as the mysterious man known only as Kokopelli shows the kids how to operate the black behemoth to fight against the enemy that emerges before them.
Just how does this game work? Just who is Kokopelli? And what, if anything, could he have to hide? Find the answers to these questions in Chapter Two: Kokopelli vs. Arachne!
I already know the answers because everything that happened (which wasn’t much) was the same as in Bokurano. I could just watch the show, which has the advantage of a soundtrack, voice acting, pacing that isn’t terrible, and characters who are more than just a name, birth date, and blood type. Oh, and Dung Beetle. He’s cool.
Auugh! Finally done with my first chapter, again. Sorry about the late start. Sorry also that this seems a lot like a crappy republishing of the first chapter from my original work. I will do all that I can to change things in this work soon enough. I write this fanfic with hopeful intent that readers will read stories like these and inform their friends of this manga/anime, because BOKURANO DESERVES MORE FANS!
But maybe if you wanted more people to watch it, you wouldn’t write a bad novelization of the show. Instead you could, I don’t know, write a review of it. Or tell people you know about it. Maybe post on a forum. Rika told me about Bokurano, and she didn’t need a fanfic to do it. She just told me to watch it because she thought I’d enjoy it. And I did.
But I guess listing names and blood types is the hot new way to get people into a show. It’s like, viral marketing or something.
Thank you for reading, and please try to stay tuned for the next chapter.
Well, that was… fun. Thanks for sharing, Rika.
I’M HIGH ON LIFE AND I DON’T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
This post has been edited by Rikafurude: Jun 12 2011, 02:55 AM
I know I annoy you. I'm okay with it.
Joined: 2-March 11
Member No.: 449
Jan 18 2012, 06:33 PM
Chapter 3: The Chairs Reforged
Now with more lumbar support!
August 23, 2004
It had been eight days since the two giant behemoths had appeared at Mitomo Island. Throughout those eight days, the fight between the two had made all the major headlines of news stories across the country and beyond, and became an immensely popular icon throughout the mass voices on the Internet.
Unlike your use of prepositions.
Kanji and Maki had been looking into this throughout all
You really stink at this.
their spare time in those eight days, when they weren't cleaning the classes as punishment for taking off during the evacuation.
"Kanji," Waku called as he entered the computer lab, "are you and Maki still glued to those things? You guys said that you were only gonna take a break for, like, ten minutes." The other kids in the group soon followed him inside until they were all crowded around the computers.
“Citizens of the internet. Y’all should know me by now, but if you don’t, I am Christian Weston Chandler.”
The children were found months later, still watching videos in a trance.
He’s quite the resilient fellow, I’ll give him that. And that’s ALL I’ll give him.
"Sorry," Kanji responded, "but, man, you should see this. Almost every few seconds, a new page is added to this search engine with loads of links. People have really gotten into this all across the web. You wouldn't even think that it's only been eight days since those two robots showed up."
Two giant robots fight and force people into evacuation, toppling buildings in their wake= you’re somehow surprised that people care.
"Hey," Kako interjected, "is there anything on us in there!"
No, you silly dumbass. People were too focused on the giant robots that were destroying their city.
"As if," Kozue replied. "I mean, we all agreed that we would keep this between the twenty of us, didn't we?"
TWENTY of you? It’s going to be awful hard for everybody to keep quiet…
And awful hard for that author to characterize you all. Mii.
Although I guess we don’t have to worry about his succeeding…
Kako had a look of disappointment plastered all over his face.
"The Internet isn't the only place you can hear about this," Anko said.
"The news is getting a huge break out of it, too. It's pretty funny to think that I'd be involved in one of my dad's top stories." She seemed very cheery about it, yet felt a bit depressed after making such a comment.
"Top stories?" Kako asked, sarcastically. "What, is your dad supposed to be, like, on the news, or something?"
Kids aren’t this stupid.
They are in this fic.
"Well, yeah, actually," Waku replied. "Her dad's Akira Tokosumi from News Claimer. I've seen a lot of his work. He's pretty much the reason that it's the top news program on TV in Japan. I thought you would've known that, Kako."
"Okay! Okay! Shut up about it, already!" Kako snapped back. Anko couldn't help but giggle a bit.
Okay, so maybe characterization isn’t your strong point…
But I’m sure you’ll blow me away with your new-and-improved plot!
"Still," Maki intervened, "you'd be amazed how many online blogs are loaded with praise and fandom over that one fight."
Actually, the only blog that mentions it is her own.
It’s also on her Twitter feed, along with classified Japanese military information.
"The last time I checked," Kanji added, "some guys even started online cults for the one that we were riding in."
"Jeez," Ushiro replied, "The Internet really DOES have everything." Kana looked up at him and nodded her head in agreement.
Then they found rule 63 furry futa art of the robot and the statement suddenly became far less amusing.
I don’t know what that means, but I’ll laugh anyway. Nipa~
"It's been a while since the fight, though," stated Chizu, "hasn't it?"
"Yeah," Machi replied. "I was kinda expecting that the next fight would start sooner."
”I can’t wait until more people DIE!”
They’re considerate murderbots, damnit!
"To be honest," Maya added, "I think that I'm beginning to lose interest in riding in that robot again."
Oh, yeah. It’s not like you… oh, I don’t know… made a contract or anything.
"Well, yeah," Moji stated, "but then again, isn't it a good thing that they aren't coming too quickly? I mean, think of how much of an uproar people would be if these battles just came day after day."
Given what I know about Godzilla movies, I think they’d eventually stop caring.
"It...it's all just too surreal to me," Daichi butted in, "if you guys want to know the truth." Everyone looked at him, surprised by that comment. "I know it's pretty crazy to think so, but for the past few days I've just been thinking to myself that maybe we were never in that robot. Maybe we were knocked out after falling from our table."
And you all had the same hallucination?
Writer, is your story developing?
An uncomfortable feeling loomed around the room, followed by small murmurs of unease and understanding towards Daichi's opinion.
"It wouldn't do you very good to think that way."
Just smile and pretend nothing’s the matter! It’s how you make it in life!
The group was startled from the familiar voice that came mysteriously came from the room, as they all began to scan the room for the person who called to them.
"Okay, who's screwing around with us?"
Calm down. I’m sure it’s just something in the water.
Ushiro questioned to
Okay. You are REALLY bad at this.
the mystery voice when he looked up to the ceiling to see a strange little creature floating above their group. It didn't take long for the other kids to take notice of this creature once Ushiro let out a surprised gasp form from laying his eyes on such a thing.
”I’ll write this as I’m writing this,” I said while surprised that I was writing it.
"W-what the hell is that?" Kako nervously questioned.
I believe it’s called a plot device.
I know. They’re not all that common around here.
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼
Get away! I told you I’m not contracting!
The very creature that the group was staring at would best be described as having a large pale-white mushroom-cap head with black beady eyes, a small square nose, a rounded smile that stretched all around it's head, and big black cheeks, a long scar visible on one of them. Atop this giant white head was a pair of curved ears pointed downwards at the ends, and from the bottom came a tail of sorts with four pointed ends.
…You’re not even trying anymore, are you?
If you’re just going to let me down like that, I’m giving up on you.
"God! What IS that?" Maria excalimed.
Don’t they have spellcheck where you come from? I don’t think it’s learning, nano-desu.
"I have no ide-" Waku retorted before something came to his mind. "Wait. Could it be..." With the voice calling out to them earlier being so eerily recognizable and the oh so familiar scar across the creature's cheek, Waku was able to put two and two together with this scenario. "Kokopelli?"
How would you even reach that conclusion? If I see a strange animal I don’t say “HOLY BALLS IT’S THE REINCARNATION OF CHRIS FARLEY.” Because even I am not that stupid. I know my stuff. I read Zoobooks. You want to know about elephants? I am a fucking expert in the field of elephantology.
YOU LIED TO ME! THIS ISN’T BETTER AT ALL!
"That's right." The creature answered, its mouth revealing a set of small pointed teeth that never opened. "It's good to see you all again. I apologize if it's been too long since we last met."
”Turns out I was about thirty cents short from being able to afford that sex change, so I went ahead and had this done instead,” Kkoopllei retorted while retorting retortment.
While the kids were still in awe over the strange creature that was hovering before them, they did feel a slight sense of comfort from having actually known that it used to be a person that they were familiar with.
Well, I wouldn’t say “familiar”.
He was the strange man who watched you from afar and lured you into his house.
They’re familiar with him because he’s constantly showing up on America’s Most Wanted. Duh.
Oh. That’s right.
"Well," Ushiro spoke up after the bewilderment, "you've finally shown up again. So now can I ask you what it is that I wanted to know before."
Yes. What DID he want to know before? (I’ll blind you with my filler text because even I don’t know where this is going! Nipa~!
"Oh, yes, of course," Kokopelli replied. "I'd be more than happy to answer any questions that you kids may have now."
"Well, first of all-" Ushiro began, until Kako bluntly interrupted him.
"I wanna ask first!" Kako blurted out. "Are we gonna get to pilot the robot again! Do we get some kinda reward for this! Are we gonna be heroes for saving the world!"
Are you TRYING to turn one of the original characters into the Bokurano equivalent of Haruhi?
"You really shouldn't interrupt people," Kokopelli replied as he turned towards Kako,
And then he slapped the hoe.
"so I will only answer your first question for YOU." Everyone chuckled at Kokopelli's response, and Kako's face was again plastered with
The hovering creature’s handprint. Because he has those somehow.
a look of disappointment. "And to answer your question, yes, you will get to pilot the robot again. All of you will, since you all signed the contract." He then turned back to Ushiro. "Now, what was your first question going to be?"
"Right.," Ushiro assured. "First of all, exactly how dangerous is this going to be?"
Piloting isn’t dangerous at all!
when you stop piloting is another matter…
Although I’m sad for anybody for whom this is Bokurano’s introduction.
"Well, I should say that the amount of danger in the situation solely depends on how you perform as a pilot." Kokopeli replied. "And your next question?"
”I’m not going to lie. I’ll probably just dodge your question and provide you with meaningless dialogue anyway.”
"Mind if I go next?" Moji asked, to whom he simply shrugged his shoulders in approval. "Where exactly is the robot right now."
"I currently saw to keeping the robot hidden in the water," Kokopelli simply stated. "Once we're all finished with the questions, I was actually planning on sending you there. The inside of the robot, I mean."
“And then you will pilot it.”
“The robot, you mean?” Moji asked.
“Shut your whore mouth,”
"Are the enemies we fight always gonna be that gross?" Anko interjected.
No. But they will always destroy your city and kill people.
What is WRONG with you?
"Gross?" Kokopelli seemed to be off-put by the of her question. "Well, they don't all look the same. Really, the enemies come in a wide variety of forms, so I wouldn't know if all of them could be considered 'gross'."
He’d still hit it.
"Uh, I've been meaning to ask," Machi stated, "What's up with the new look? I mean, is this what you really look like? Did you just disguise yourself as a human for us or, well, what?"
"Hmm... How should I put it..." Kokopelli pondered for a bit on how to answer this, when he finally came to a sensible response. "Let's just say that my previous form was the form I took on as your instructor, and this form here is the form I've chosen to take on as your guide. More or less, though, I am still Kokopelli, the one and the same. So, anything else?" For a while, nobody could think of another question, until Komo finally raised her hand and began her question.
But she didn’t finish it?
"Is it possible at all," Komo asked, "to drop out of these battles."
No, simpleton. It’s a contract.
Come on. The way you talk about it, you’d think a contract was a legally binding agreement between two or more parties with mutual obligations. That’s just crazy talk.
"I'm afraid," Kokopelli answered, "that you will not be able to drop out of them. No." The group gave him a surprised look based on this reply.
He asked for your bloody handprints. How are any of you surprised?
"Since you children are all a part of the contract now, It will be your duty now to see to it that you fight these battles and win for the sake of the earth. It's as simple as that."
It really is pretty simple, guys.
There was a pause among them after a while. "Well, if that's all for the questions, let's be on our way to the cock
"W-wait!" Waku hastily asked before Kokoeplli could begin the teleportation. "Sorry, but there's just one thing that I want to make frank. This IS still a game, isn't it?"
Yes. When your mother gets killed by falling rocks, know that she’s only PRETENDING.
"Undoubtably," Kokopelli bluntly stated, putting Waku at a bit of unease. "Well, I suppose it's right about time for us to go now."
There’s just no reasoning with people sometimes, is there, my personified floating best friend?
And with that, the ever-pestering static returned to take them.
You could just not illustrate the static.
We’re all tired of hearing about it.
They should adjust the antenna.
The Outer Limits says no.
I know about popular culture now.
The static then went as soon as it had come,
And then you do that.
You know what? I respect TERRORISTS more than I respect you right now.
and the group found itself within the brown-tinted cockpit.
Who ARE you?
"Back in the cockpit again," Kanji commented.
"Back in the robot again, too," Daichi abruptly added.
"Weird," Maya stated. "Now that we're back,
it really doesn't seem like it's been that long since Kokopelli's fight." She had already forgotten that Kokopelli was still very much among them.
"Wait," Tsubasa exclaimed. "This is really different!"
“There’s a bear in here!”
Then they all died. The end!
I’ll buy the popcorn and we’ll celebrate.
Yeah," added Nagi. "What happened to all the chairs that were here last time?" The rest of the kids began to notice that was. The cockpit was almost completely vacant aside from their presence, the ring of chairs from the last fight now nowhere to be seen.
"Oh, I took the liberty of removing them since you kids won't be needing them this time around," Kokopelli quickly responded. Some of the kids looked very puzzled by this comment.
You sacrificed yourself to prevent chair deaths?
Meanwhile, Kokopelli had then noticed that one of the children, Kodama, had stumbled upon a familiar object: Kokopelli's glasses, which, as it turend out, were fake. "Huh. I was sure that I had gotten rid of those since last time," he stated as he hovered towards him.
"Well, this is where I found them," Kodama stated. "I don't suppose you'd mind if I hang on to these?"
"By all means," Kokopelli replied. "I won't need them, anymore." And with that, Kodama applied the fake glasses to the bridge of his nose.
Do the Gendo pose! You know you want to!
I LOVE Gendo AND cultural references!
"Anyway," Kokopelli continued, "I think it's right about time that I looked into your minds."
"Wait, what? What do you mean by that?" Maria exclaimed, the other children clearly as startled as she was. But before anyone else could ask what he meant, the saw before them that a ring of objects seemed to have appeared before them.
Do you know ANYTHING about sentences?
The kids were held in awe at this new spectacle; they were staring at a new ring of chairs.
"This is what I meant," Kokopelli retorted after allowing them to absorb the moment. "I did say that you wouldn't need those old chairs, so I made you a whole set of new ones. I'm more than sure you should be able to recognize which ones belong to you."
When he’s not designing games, tricking children into signing vaguely-worded contracts, or piloting super fighting robots, Kokopelli is also a carpenter. He truly is a jack of all trades.
So the chairs really were just reforged?
Okay. I give. You’re excellent at this.
HAHAHAHA I LOVE sarcasm!
Sure enough, a few of the children had already begun to flock towards each chair that they were individually all too familiar with.
Oh, no… You’re not going to spend two pages illustrating which chairs each child chose, are you?
Nagi had taken a metal folding chair…
next to a piano stool, which turned out to be Komo's, followed by Tsubasa who took the slim armchair to Nagi's right. Strangely enough, Moji had chosen the rocking chair to Tsubasa's right, which caused a bit of confusion amongst the kids.
Kodama went to a large black office chair to the left of a baby crib that stood between him and Komo. Nakama took the sewing chair to his left, followed by Daichi who took the floor cusion to Nakama's left, and Machi who sat in the fishing chair to Daichi's left.
These seating arrangements are almost as exciting as the soccer game that the one character played against those other kids. Good times, good times.
Among the group, everyone would have assumed that the childish chair next to Kanji's chair in the ring would have belonged to Kana, but were surprised to see that it actually belonged to Ushiro, with Kana taking the ottoman to the chair's right. Kako couldn't help but tease Ushiro over this. Kanji then sat in the computer chair to Ushiro's right.
Kako had quickly rested himself in the long white lounger chair in the right corner. Chizu then quietly took the fancy black chair next to him, and Kirie proceeded by sitting in the ornate stool next to Chizu. Anko was also quick to seek comfort in the large sofa in the bottom corner which she claimed to be hers.
Silly Anko. A sofa is not a chair.
Maki was conflicted on wether her chair was the baby crib in the left corner or the swivel chair to the left of Anko's sofa. Maya quickly solved this conflicting problem for her by claiming the swivel chair to be her chair, assuring Maki to claim the crib for herself.
A crib? The author’s sure taking a lot of liberties with the definition of “chair.”
Actually, I think “crib” is what the kids are calling houses nowadays.
That’s totally not it.
Maria then found herself a place on the tatami mat to the left of Machi's fishing chair with Kozue wheeling herself over to the wheelchair beside Maria, just as everyone had expected. This left only a plastic green chair that stood in between her and Kirie, which Waku soon claimed to be his. And with this, the kids found themselves sitting perfectly within the ring.
"Whoa," Machi exclaimed. "These chairs are actually pretty cool."
But not cool enough to narrate in five paragraphs.
"Yeah," Anko added. "It feels like I'm floating."
That must be the LSD you unknowingly took from Kokopelli.
You’re all still in his house, passed out.
"Before you all get too comfy," Kokopelli butted in,"I'd recommend that you all get up for a moment."
"For what?" Kako questioned. But before he could hear a response from Kokopelli, the kids noticed that the ring chairs had begun to spin clockwise with them still in it. Quickly, many of the children had begun to scream as the chairs spun faster and faster.
I once saw a children’s horror movie where everybody was trapped on a renegade carousel.
They had been spinning so frequently that they were not able to notice the symbol that appeared on the floor:
If they didn’t notice it, why should we?
a red mark similar to that of the face plate of the robot. Finally, the spinning had begun to come to a cease, with Nagi's foldng chair floating atop the symbol, and Nagi himself too dizzy to notice.
"For that," Kokopelli replied.
"Auuughh..." Kanji groaned dizzily. "For future reference, guys, next time Kokopelli tells us to get off of the chairs, do it!" Everyone groaned in agreement.
Just as Nagi began to collect himself, he was surprised to hear such an ominous voice come out from nowhere, and call his name, no less.
"Hey, uh...," he asked, "did any of you guys just hear that, too?" everyone looked at him with dumbfounded expressions. "That voice I mean," he quickly added.
"Hmm..." Kokopelli pondered. "I suppose that you're up first then."
Are you implying…
"First?" Nagi asked. After a few seconds, however, he was able to come to a sudden realization. "Wait, does that mean... I'm going to pilot it next?"
"Yes," Kokopelli plainly retorted.
So you’re saying… he’s going to pilot next? Oh dear what a fascinating development let us spend fifteen pages talking about it.
The rest of the kids stared at him with a hint of bewilderment. They were all curious to see how Nagi would be able to handle this task. Moji and Tsubasa looked slightly worried.
"All right!" Nagi shouted, pumping himself up. "This is gonna be awesome!"
HAHAHAHA How perfectly SPLENDID!
Minutes later, the kids were all teleported back into the computer lab, but with Kokopelli nowhere to be found.
"Huh?" Kana was slightly surprised. "We're back already?"
"Looks like it," Kanji calmly stated. The kids noticed that someone was heading their way who seemed to recognize their voices. Suddenly, they were met by the face of their homeroom teacher, who appeared to be notably agitated.
It was so notable I decided to write it down and then say how notable it was.
"You Kids!" the teacher declared. "Is THIS where you all went off to?"
”You’d better not be looking at any of that porn!” Oh memories.
I don’t care about anything you say ever.
"Heheh...Yeah," Machi chuckled. "Sorry about that."
"I swear..." the teacher's teeth were practically seething, "You lot are really beginning to get on my last nerve..." Everyone shot him an embarrassed look with hopes that it would get them off the hook. This proved to be futile, as they were all given lunch detention in addition to cleaning the classrooms soon after the conflict in the lab.
"Good evening, and welcome to our late night session of News Claimer.
For our first coverage of the night, local university reports have given conclusive data that the recent offshore earthquake at Mitomo Island was surprisingly shown to have a focal depth of 0km. While this is indeed unprecedented and never seen in recent records before, other professionals hold the standpoint that the rupture was clearly caused by the surprising appearance of the behemoths that appeared only days ago..."
Okay. How does ANYBODY get away with the “there were no giant monsters. It was all your imagination.” excuse in these stories. It confuses me so much! Mii.
As Akira Tokosumi's broadcast was being shown over the late night news, his own daughter was watching him from one of the school's sofas on a large plasma-screen television.
"Wow, Anko," Maki stated, "Your dad is really good at this."
Yeah. He can exposit with the best of them.
"Yeah," Anko replied. "He's really dedicated to his work."
Dinner had passed and the kids had all gone to their own little activities in one of the school's rather spacious lounges.
Anko had decided to watch a little television, and was accompanied by Maki, Kana, Machi, and Maria. Nakama, Daichi, Kozue, Tsubasa, Nagi, and Moji
And somehow I still don’t care about any of these people.
I don’t know who any of these people are.
I have trouble relating to any of these people.
That is the consensus, yes.
decided to get an early start on their summer homework. Nagi was too enthusiastic to really focus on his work, however. He seemed to be sweating a lot.
Maya and Chizu were tending to the laundry. Kanji went to surfing the web on his laptop. Komo was sitting beside him, reading her book, again. Kodama had hunched over his PSP for over an hour, with Kirie and Kako spectating.
Are you really going to keep recycling the same boring scene?
You’ll never develop your characters like this, mii.
"Hey!" Kako blurted, shoving Kirie to the side. "Why don't ya scoot over and give us some room?"
"Uh...s-sorry," Kirie unnecessarily apologized, and with that, he went over to the table that the others were doing there homework at. Moji then gave him his seat and went to the patio door to take a walk outside. Kako soon got bored and went over to Kanji at his laptop.
"Hey, anything come up about us yet?" he asked.
God, you’re an egotistical little prick.
Whoa… calm down, Rika.
Shut up! Who are you? Who the FUCK are you?!
"If nothing came up an hour ago, where would you get the idea that there would be anything now?" Kanji sarcastically questioned. The third plastered
The author clearly has a plaster fetish.
I wouldn’t be surprised if it exists…
If anybody cares, I’ll just be hanging myself in the gymnasium now…
I was absent from this stage of revision.
look of disappointment in a row bestowed itself upon Kako's face as a few of the kids chuckled.
Ushiro was quietly sitting by the glass patio door, keeping his eyes on Kana. He had come to notice that aside from Moji, who had just gone outside, the only other person missing from their group was Waku.
"Hey, Maria," he asked, "You know where Waku is?"
He went out to pawn the robot.
Nobody would buy it.
If it made me less lonely, I might.
"Huh?" she pondered. "Oh, yeah. Earlier he said he wanted to get a breath of fresh air, or something like that." Ushiro glanced over his shoulder through the glass door and saw that Maria was right. Waku was at the outerportion
No. You haven’t earned the right to create words.
Until you prove to me that you can write, I’m giving you NO allowances.
of the patio, with Moji heading in his direction.
Moji walked on towards Waku as he kept strong concentration on bouncing his soccer ball off of his foot. Eventually, Moji's presence caught his attention, so he caught his ball so as to talk with him.
"Oh, hey dude," Waku said. "What's up?"
"Hi, Waku," Moji replied. "I've just got a lot on my mind right now, and I was wondering if you wouldn't mind some company."
I wish I had a friend like Moji.
"Oh, sure" Waku reassured him, taking a seat on the patio's grass. Moji soon followed the notion. "So, what's eating you?"
"I guess I'm just a bit concerned," Moji began, "about the next battle."
It’s not like anybody’s going to die or anything.
"Yeah," Waku responded. "I know that it's been a while since Kokopelli showed us how to fight and all, but I don't think that it'll have much of an impact on how we fight. We just have to keep our minds focused and our determination strong and we can beat whatever comes at us, right?"
No. That’s stupid and you should feel stupid.
"Well, yes, but that's not exactly what's bugging me about it," he continued. "It's more that I'm concerned about Nagi."
"Huh?" Waku turned and looked at him curiously. "Whuddya mean?"
"Have you noticed the way that he's been acting, lately?"
"Actually, now that I think about it," Waku began to ponder, "this is the most pumped-up I've seen him all summer."
"That's what I'm worried about," Moji continued, "I'm not sure if this will be too much on him." He soon noticed that Waku didn't quite understand what he meant.
"Well, we never told you guys," he explained, "but the truth is that Nagi wasn't always in the best of health." As he continued, his look became much more solemn.
He’s not the guy in the wheelchair, is he?
I miss that wheelchair, mii.
Ah… yes. Such fond memories from so long ago.
You weren’t here. You don’t have the right to participate in our nostalgia.
I wasn’t here, but I’d probably be neutral in this exchange.
"Last year, while the three of us were in our first year of middle school, Nagi began to have frequent heart palpitations, and as soon as we took him in to see a doctor, we were told that he had cardiac dysrhythmia."
"Heart problems?" Waku blurted out in shock. "I didn't think it was anything that extreme! And he seemed so normal when we all got to know him, too..."
”But now that I think about it, he does seem like a freak!”
"Yeah," Moji replied. "So after we found out, Tsubasa and I tried to get him used to certain activities that were a bit easier on him. That's actually the reason that we asked him to come to this summer school with us. The environment seemed like the calm and easy atmosphere that he could use."
"And then we found out about the giant robot," Waku filled in.
…and it comes back to giant robots AGAIN.
In Japan, all roads lead to Gundamechanimu.
"Exactly," Moji assured. "And now that he's been chosen as the first to pilot it, I'm worried that it may be too much of a strain on him. I don't want anything bad to happen to him."
"Well," Waku began to rationalize, "given that factor, I don't think I'd want him to handle something like that either. But, he was chosen, right? And Kokopelli did say that we can't drop out of the battles. So we'll just have to give all the support that we can to make this as little of a strain as possible on him, don't you think?"
You’re not even going to try to help him out?
You sicken me.
"I know," Moji replied, "but still, maybe if there was a way that someone could take his pla-" But just before he finished, something had caught is eyes, and a look of surprise soon swept his face. Waku had inquired what was wrong, turning to the shocking sight that had cut him off. Before them, they were surprised to see a pair of bulky, dark-green legs synthesize from thin air.
The next battle had already begun.
…and we got almost no character established before any of it happened…
Sorry! Just thinking aloud! Nipa~!
-End of Ch. 3-
In the next chapter: Just as quickly as he was declared the next operator of the great behemoth, the child is now sent in the fray after what seemed too long of a wait. The boy with greater problems than he would show is, at this very moment, standing atop the world about 500 meters with the safety of the planet in his hands as he is brought forth to handle this new opponent. What can he do? What will he do? The newest battle for the Earth will be shown in full in Chapter Four: Nagi vs. Blitz.
With this new adjustment to my chapter, I do hope that I will be able to progress faster with this, but who am I to keep such promises?
Hope you keep reading. Have a good one.
I am going to have the worst day ever just to spite you. Rika! Queue up the My Little Pony videos!
I hate you all.
Spoiler: He’s only updated to chapter four. This looks like a deadfic.
This post has been edited by Rika Furude: Jan 18 2012, 06:46 PM
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