LxOC thingy, No really, that's the title. Options

[Moose]

So I'm here to mock another story. This time, it's a Death Note fic. Inside, we will meet a completely lovable, quirky, fun original character, who will no doubt be a wonderful addition to the cast of Death Note.

Or, I think that's what the author wants the reader to believe, because I can't really stand the OC too much as the chapters continue.

With that being said, here is the story, in all of its mocked... glory. Or not. But you know what they say: practice makes perfect!

Or something cliche like that. I'll stop now.

----

Ok, so I'm not that good at writing stories, but here goes. Considering L lived in England for 4 years, I'm guessing he knows English.

This is what Ari looks like:

.com/art/Now-Hmmm-191090460

I have no idea what the beginning of the address is, so here is how I will see her until we get any sort of description.


Or... maybe we won't get a description, since the original picture will probably be good enough for the authoress.

CHAPER 1

Ari comes to Japan

Ok, I think before I start telling this story a little introduction might be nice. My name is Ariana Cooper, I'm 18 years old. I used to live in North Carolina with my parents, but after I turned 18, I got a scholarship to a college in Japan. I'm pretty smart, but I get distracted so easily sometimes it's hard to concentrate. The problem about going to Japan is that I barely knew any Japanese at all,

So why exactly I'm going, despite not really knowing the language, is completely beyond me! Just smile and go with it!

I mean, she doesn't have to know a bunch, but at least knowing SOME will help her.

and I doubted I would make friends very easily. I admit I hate airplanes, and almost always get airsick, but I knew this trip would be worthwhile. After what seemed like forever, the airplane finally landed. I grabbed my only suitcase from the baggage claim, and walked into the nearest taxi I could find.

She makes it sound like there are random taxis just chilling out at the airport.

I showed the driver a piece of paper with the address of the hotel I had a reservation for until I found a house.

Man, her parents must be LOADED to be able to afford for her to stay in a hotel for possibly several days!

Honestly, though, shouldn't her living arrangements have been made before she left, seeing as how she knew she was going to Japan? An old Co-worker of mine was going to Spain to learn Spanish before going to medical school, and he made sure he had a place to stay. The author obviously has not done her research for these kinds of things.

When I reached the hotel, I told them my surname and they handed me the key to my room. I unlocked the door to my hotel room and fell asleep on the bed in what felt like no time at all. I knew the entrance exams were tomorrow, and wasn't sure what to expect.

Yeah, fuck studying! Ariana is TIIIIIIREEEEED!

"What the hell, why don't you sit like a normal person? You stand out way too much here!" The teacher said in Japanese.

Thank goodness this was pointed out, the teacher speaking Japanese. I thought for sure, he was speaking in Swahili!

I wasn't sure what he said, but I looked in his direction, and saw a student sitting in front of me. He had messy black hair that came to his neck, and he was sitting in what looked like a rather uncomfortable position.

Well gee, I wonder who this randomly pointed out character could be!

He was chewing his thumb while looking at the exam, as if in deep thought. Unlike most of the other students, who were dressed formally, he was wearing a loose white shirt, baggy jeans with no belt, and had no shoes or socks on.

So L gets chewed out for sitting like an oddball, but it's okay for him to go without anything on his feet? Also, I thought he actually wore shoes when he went to college. Ah well, whatever.

I stared at my own exam, which was specially printed in English,

because I was too ignorant to even THINK about learning any Japanese at all! It should all be done special for MEEEEE!


and groaned at how many questions I had left. I answered two more questions, and noticed the guy in front of me appeared to be done. He looked at me, and gave a friendly smile as he turned away.

Guy in front is really just smiling because he hopes the stupid, ignorant yankee will FAIL.

After what seemed like forever, I finally finished the exam.

I'm digging that instead of a proper time transition, everything just seems to take forever, and we're in the FUTURE!

When I walked outside, I sat on a bench and watched everyone walk by. Someone tried to talk to me in Japanese, but noticed I didn't know what they were saying and walked away

cursing her to Hell.

. There were some people who knew as much English as I knew Japanese, but it was only simple things, like Hi, Bye, Thank you, and up to ten in numbers.

"Hi!" Someone said.

I looked up to see the same guy who was in front of me in the exam.

"You know English?" I asked.

"I lived in England for four years." he explained. "I'm Ryuga Hideki, but you can call me Ryuga."

Oh, right. That guy that smiled at her earlier.

HEY, HOW DID SHE KNOW HOW HE WAS CHEWING HIS THUMB IF HE WAS IN FRONT OF HER!? SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO SEE THAT!

Ryuga sat down in the same awkward way he sat before.

Let's not bother giving detail about how he was sitting! You guys remember how L sits, right?

"I'm Ariana Cooper, but just call me Ari." I said.

You know, now that I think about it, who the hell introduces themselves with their first and last name? I don't think I ever have unless specifically asked.

"Why do you sit like that?"

"If I sit normally, my reasoning ability would go down by approximately 40%." He explained.

"Would it go up by 40% if I began to sit like that too?" I asked.

"I don't know. Maybe."

he said. I tried to sit like him for a moment, but sat back down a moment later.

"I guess I'm just not used to it." I said.

Wussy. Sitting like that is cake.

Which is why L does sit like that, secretly, no doubt...

Because of the cake. Get it?

"Well, I guess I'll see you in the opening ceremony tomorrow." he said.

I gat up soon after him and headed toward my hotel. On the way I caught a glance of Light Yagami, who bumped into me while I rushed into the classroom.

STUPID YANKEE, HOW DO YOU KNOW WHO HE IS? IT'S NOT LIKE YOU KNOW THE LANGUAGE AND COULD HAVE TALKED TO HIM TOO MUCH! STUPID NAME DROP IS STUPID OTHER THAN TO SERVE YOUR PLOT PURPOSES!

I continued to walk to my hotel, when I suddenly found myself being held by a thug.

"Watashiwa Orokana Hakuchi desu." He said.

I struggled to escape and jumped nearly six feet into the air when I heard him scream.

Thug: OH MY GOD, SPIDER!

When I walked back to where he was, I found him lying there, dead. Many people walked up to him, someone murmured something about Kira. I once was watching the news and heard something about there being someone called Kira, but I didn't know much about him.

But how could she have even known what the hell was being said if she doesn't know English? The killings were not going down in America yet, so she wouldn't have learned about Kira at home.

See, this would not be a problem if the author just made it so Ariana COULD speak Japanese! I get if she is going to learn, but it wouldn't have changed the plot too much if she just already knew Japanese, which is why it bugs me so much. Gosh.

I don't agree with killing people, so I'm still not sure if I support him or not, though he did save my life. I saw Ryuga give me a surprised look, as if he saw the whole thing. I noticed I was only a block away from my hotel, so I ran there as fast as I could (which is NOT very fast) to my room so I wouldn't have to do with the police and news reporters and what now, especially since I wouldn't understand them.

Because running away when the guy assaulting you turns up dead?

DUDE, ARIANA U R TEH SMRTZ!!!1

The opening ceremony went pretty well, I found out I was a point from getting a perfect score,

Of course you did. Because of all that studying you did, no doubt.

and I sat right behind Light and Ryuga.

"I'm L" Ryuga whispered faintly to Light.
It was in Japanese but I knew enough to know what he said I tried my best to hide my shock, and pretend I didn't hear it.

For a girl who just got to Japan, like, two days ago, she sure is knowledgeable about what's going on.

I fidgeted in my seat a little, and was relieved when I could leave. As I walked out of the school, I found myself being grabbed and put in handcuffs.

"You are under arrest for suspicion of being Kira" I faintly heard.

Whoever said it had an obvious Japanese accent, which didn't surprise me.

Unnecessary statements for the win!

The police knocked me out, and when I woke up I was tied to a chair, blindfolded.

"Miss Cooper, are you awake?" someone asked.

"Mmm Hmm." I said.

"We don't believe you are the original Kira, but perhaps another Kira." the voice said.

I think this The Voice is my favorite character in this story. He does not waste time, which can't be said for anyone else in this story later on.

"Why do you think I'M Kira?" I frantically asked.

"Was it a coincidence that when you managed to escape from that thug, when you came back he was dead?" he said.

But this is Ariana, the pure yankee! She couldn't have done it because... YEAH!

"Who are you?" I asked.

"I'm L, the detective." he explained. "You sound familiar." I told him, trying to hide the fact that I KNEW it was Ryuga.

For some unexplained, and probably unnecessary reason.

L pulled the blindfold halfway off my eyes. "Hi Ari." he said, replacing the blindfold. I sighed and waited to be released.

And let me guess, it will seem like it takes FOREVER!

Also, why does L suddenly think Ariana did it? Other than for the “plot's” sake (I put it like that, because it's just the same as the manga, except with a stupid OC thrown in, and several chapters of irrelevant bullshit)? Because Kira killed a lot of thugs who were actively attacking people. Did L go arrest every victim? NO! So why, so why... WHY AM I EVEN BOTHERING TO THINK ABOUT IT?

[Moose]

Another chapter of LxOC thingy. I realize the story could be way worse, but that doesn't stop it from being annoying as hell. Because seriously, half of what goes down is entirely irrelevant to Death Note's plot.

---

CHAPTER 2

"L! GET ME OUT RIGHT NOW I AM NOT KIRA!" I shouted at the top of my lungs.

"Calm down Ari. You'll be getting out of there soon enough." L explained through what I think was an intercom. I was blindfolded so I couldn't really tell.

She mentions it, in case anyone completely forgot that fact, even though it was mentioned at the end of the first chapter.

"Well that's a relief." I groaned.

I was soon released, and L grabbed my wrist to make sure I didn't run off anywhere. I was pretty wobbly from being tied up for so long, so it would have been pretty stupid of me to try.

"You'll be staying at this hotel until we find out who Kira is. There's a 2% chance you are Kira." L explained.

"TWO PERCENT? YOU'RE LOCKING ME UP FOR TWO PERCENT?" I shouted.

L: Nah, we're just locking you up for shits and giggles. It's so fun to watch you freak!

"Any chance you're Kira means we'll need to keep you under surveillance 24/7." L said.

"You mean you'll be watching me in the shower?" I asked.

"No, we turn the cameras off in the bathroom when you're in there." L told me.

However, when the rest of the police task force are in there? AWWWW YEAH!

I followed him into an elevator, where he pushed a button bearing the number 7.

"There's your room."

L pointed to a door with the numbers 737, and gestured me to go in.

"Watari, Light, and I both know English, so if you need anything you can find Light and I in the lobby.."

No, no, Ariana. Don't worry about learning the common language or anything, everyone will work harder for YOU.

L said.

Light, who had been handcuffed to L the whole time, nodded.

"I believe the task force had learned English during the beginning of the case for situations like this. Chances are, Misa probably doesn't know much English." Light added.

And how convenient that most of the important characters all know English! It's almost like magic or something!

"Ok, thanks." I told them.

I walked into my room and looked from side to side. My suitcase was lying on my bed, and on the table was a box of cupcakes, and a Japanese learning set for my computer.

Thank God, although I wouldn't be surprised if the author decided to add “I said in Japanese” after sentences once Ariana learns. I hope not, since that would be just as grating.

My laptop itself was on the dresser. I opened up my suitcase, and put on a purple t-shirt, a loose black zip-up hoodie, and a pair of boot cut jeans. I didn't bother putting on shoes, and grabbed a cupcake to eat, but put it down a second later, knowing I was much more thirsty,

”I will pick up this cupcake, only to realize that DURP I AM THIRSTY! Which renders this short scene pointless.”

so I looked around in the hallway for the kitchen, but had no luck. When I walked toward my room, I searched my pockets for a key, and groaned loudly when I discovered it's absence.

Wait, so all the rooms in the headquarters have keys? That seems... really stupid.

I remembered what L told me, and thankfully I knew where the elevator was.

"Hello there Ari. I'm assuming you have settled yourself into your room?" L said

"Yeah about that," I began,

"You lost your keys didn't you." L interrupted.

This seems like such a forced attempt at humor. HAHA, OH MAN! THE WACKY HIJINKS THAT ARE GOING ON IN THIS STORY!

"and I need to know where the kitchen is." I added.

"Well then follow me." L said.

L stood up, unlocked the handcuffs that attached him to Light, and attached it to Light's bed.

"Are you sure you can do that?" I asked.

L: Who gives a shit!? I'm fucking L, I do what I want, bitch!

"The handcuffs were my choice, not his, so that should be my choice too." L said.

I followed L into the elevator, and stood there in silence.

"Are you mad at me?" L asked.

"Oh no, I'm not mad at ALL, I mean, it's not like I had a life or anything now is it?" I snapped.

Yeah, how dare L make sure he's not letting a killer wander the streets!? I mean, it's pretty much your own fault the suspicion was placed on you, but L is just a dick!

"But I guess helping with the Kira case would be fun. What do you know so far?"

L told me what was probably everything they knew about Kira, and Light being Kira.

Because L would totally just give out everything he knows to the person he still kind of thinks, if only a little, is Kira. MAKES PERFECT SENSE!

"Perhaps it's not the person with the power, but an object that can be passed from person to person, and maybe when they no longer own that object, they lose all their memories of ever owning it. I don't know though, I've just always believed in magical objects and stuff."

I have no idea who was talking, but it's mighty convenient that their reasoning is EXACTLY what happens.

Our conversation ended about the time the elevator reached the floor the kitchen was on. L walked up to a large door, and told me to go in.

"I have to go, Light could wake up anytime. Watari will be up with a key card for you shortly.

Watari was a kind looking old man, and appeared to be someone I could get along with.

But in reality, the guy was a complete asshole and kicked kittens just for the hell of it.

"Here is your key, Miss." he said.

I gladly accepted the key and thanked him.

Once I reached my room again, I hopped onto my bed without changing into my pajamas, and fell into a dreamless sleep.

Man, this girl can just go to sleep at the drop of a hat! I mean, forget creeping thoughts that the killer could be right in the same building as you; she can just lay down and nod off like no one's business!

[Moose]

Hello, empty thread that is my second mock! Even if no one reads this, I am going to finish this mock, because I am not one to just leave things unfinished. So, let's get this ball rolling!

---


This chapter shows a bit more of the playful side of Ari. Here ya go!

Good, because she's been even more boring than a sack or rocks so far.

CHAPTER 3
I woke up to the smell of smoke. At first I thought I was at home, in the US, and my brother had burnt his pancakes, but when I woke up, I was in my bed.
'Smoke?'

L is trying to kill you off so he can spend his time actually looking for Kira instead of explaining everything to you.

I jumped out of my bed, and felt the doorknob. It was cool. I opened up the door in haste, and remembered being in the kitchen last night, but I didn't remember what I ate. I might have left the stove on for something, that sounded like something utterly stupid I'd do.
When I reached the kitchen, L and Light were handcuffed together, and were both pouring buckets of water on the fire.

So all this happened last night, right? Did no one else go into the kitchen, or even smell any kind of smoke? Was everyone just sitting around getting stoned? WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?

Although Light was holding the bucket like a normal person, L somehow managed to hold the whole bucket by using just the index finger and thumb of both his hands.

I know she is at least trying to keep L in character, but this is just grating, somehow.

"HOW do you not drop that?" I asked as I grabbed my own bucket, though the fire had already been put out, showing even more that I am indeed, completely useless
.
"Huh, now that I think of it, that is-" L began

"A special talent of his." Light interrupted

Light: Among others. *winks*

"That wasn't what I was going to say." L mumbled.

I couldn't help but giggle at the scene, trying to let the readers know that THIS IS SLAPSTICK COMEDY, PEOPLE!.

"Ari." Light said.

"Yup. I'm Ari." I replied.

"First of all, please stop smirking, it freaks me out." he said,

When was she smirking?

Oh right. We're supposed to see her PLAYFUL side! Let us continue assuming she was smirking.

I turned my smirk into a huge grin, to which Light rolled his eyes.

L appeared to be getting a cheesecake from the fridge. Wow. After the fire, all he does is get a cheesecake.

"Did you want some cake too?" he asked.

"No." Light and I said at once, following us glaring at each other.

You know, I don't remember Light being so bitchy about the smallest of things. I get that the author is trying to keep everyone in character, and I guess she could be doing worse, but... Light is just getting annoying.

"LIGHT-KUN!" a short girl with blonde pigtails squealed as she busted through the door. She continued to rant in Japanese, something about him being ok, but it really sounded like she was just squeaking the whole time.

Ariana: Not that I would know, since I BARELY KNOW THE LANGUAGE!

She was followed by the task force, who looked around, and saw that the fire was gone.

"How the hell did you turn on the burner by bumping into the stove?" the one with an afro asked.

"Special talent" I laughed, smirking at Light, who rolled his eyes at me even more, while L happened to finish his cheesecake.

"Wait, how did you know I bumped into the stove?" I asked.

"We looked back at the surveillance tapes while Light and Ryuzaki were putting out the fire." the younger looking one said.

I nodded.

Somehow, even though we all know she fell asleep last night, she was able to meet the rest of the task force.

"Well, aside from that, I've found that all recent Kira-related killings have somehow ended up beneficial toward the Yotsuba group." L said.

We all walked to the headquarters, along with Misa, who apparently filmed a few movies in English and knew enough to go around.

Oh, thank goodness! I was worried Ariana might have to go with at least one person not bending over backwards to help her understand what is going on!

"These are all the members." Light said as he showed us all pictures of each member.

"Hmm, I've always pictured Kira as being ugly, and this guy seems pretty Kira-looking to me, but then again, the only ugly Kira suspect here is Light, and that just raises his suspicion by five percent doesn't it?" I said.

That doesn't make any sense whatsoever. Stop trying to be helpful, Ariana! You're making yourself look stupid.

"Ari, you can't just raise suspicions of other people, that just makes you more suspicious of being Kira. Although Higuchi probably isn't Kira because he's ugly, he does seem like someone who would be Kira based on his actions." L said.

Wait, why do looks automatically equate who is Kira? This is some mighty strong bullshit going on, especially from L.

"Well didn't you say that Kira was Japanese?" I asked.

"Only the first Kira. You could be the second Kira, or third." L said. "Not to mention the fact that I don't know whether you really moved here recently."

"Can't you hack into my flight record or something?" I asked.

L turned to the computer, and appeared to be typing at a rapid pace.

"Ah, at August 29th, you flew to Japan. Today is September third." L said. "But that doesn't mean you can't be the second or third Kira."

I rolled my eyes. This detective guy is getting on my last nerve with all the 'Kira-Kira-Kira' crap.

Yes, how dare he be concerned with a mass serial killer that is currently wandering somewhere in the world? He needs to calm down and smell the flowers!

"Hey, has anyone here had breakfast besides L?" the younger police with black hair said.

"Oh yes, I did offer some cheesecake, but no one wanted any." L said.

"Well, not many people eat cheesecake in the morning." Light said.

"Well I eat cupcakes for breakfast when I'm in a rush, since I don't like muffins." I mentioned quietly.

”Good for you!” replied no one.

"We have plenty of time now, it's not like we have to go to school or anything right?" The same police as before said.
"Matsuda, don't we have Kira to catch?" Yagami said.

Yagami, the only one who gives a shit about the important matter at hand.

"Oh yeah!" Matsuda said with a chuckle.

In a matter of seconds, the entire task force had treated themselves to muffins and coffee. I replaced my muffin with a cupcake, and enjoyed my "breakfast" while I could. I'd get revenge on L for locking me up here soon enough.

Because forget what Yagami just said about Kira, they need to EAT! Also, why is Ariana being so petty about this? Didn't she say in the last chapter it would be fun to help? This is stupid, I hate her!

[oneluckyduck]

Wait, you don't leave things unfinished? Can I just dump my badfics onto you? X3
Seriously, though, your brand of snark is oh-so-very fun to read. Especially since I'm reveling in my own idiocy. *shrugs*

[Dr. O]

The mockery is as good as the fic is bad. Which is to say you're doing a fine job, Moose.

And how long is this fic, anyway? In the first part you said that the OC gets more annoying as it continues, so... yeah.

[Moose]

The mockery is as good as the fic is bad. Which is to say you're doing a fine job, Moose.

And how long is this fic, anyway? In the first part you said that the OC gets more annoying as it continues, so... yeah.

Ah, thanks.

So far it's four chapters, but the author is actively writing it. From what I've read (the chapter after this is grating, holy crap), Ariana continues to get on my nerves, so I can just imagine she will continue as the story updates.

I imagine this story will go one of two ways: Ariana will OMG SAVE L, somehow... or she'll go emo when he dies. I will bash my head against the desk either way when the time comes.

This post has been edited by Moose: Mar 14 2011, 01:41 PM

[oneluckyduck]

...Maybe Light will find her as annoying as we do, and'll kill HER instead?

Yah know, just a hope.

[Moose]

...Maybe Light will find her as annoying as we do, and'll kill HER instead?

Yah know, just a hope.

Or he will find her OMGSOSMART and try and get her on his side.

[oneluckyduck]

Maybe we SOMEBODY will make an anti-fanfiction spin off, in which everyone gains their sanity and rejects her, eventually causing her death.
CRAP. I've already figured out a plot! 0o0

[Moose]

Chapter four of LxOC Thingy. It answers several question, has deep twists and turns, and really shows us how useful Ariana can be. I feel bad for questioning her character, when this whole time, she has just been hiding her knowledge for just the right time.

---

Ok, I saw a review that asked why Ari isn't trying to learn Japanese, she is trying to learn Japanese, but she was arrested before she could study it, which is why L got her the computer program for her to use.

In response to me. I wanted to know why Ariana didn't know the god damn language. At least she didn't take it badly.

However, I also asked how she saw about Kira on the news, and it went unanswered. Ah well.

In the last part you should keep in mind that L wears white shirts.

No, really? I've only read every volume of Death Note and seen the live action movies! He wears white shirts? I thought for sure he wore a pink leotard.

This chapter is kind of short, but I'll be making more soon enough!

Chapter 4

Fail

It had been nearly three weeks since the fire.

Yeah, you know, the fire? The one that no one seemed to notice for several hours, even though it should have been obvious? That one!

We hadn't found out much besides how all the Kira-killings were related to the Yotsuba group, but it was pretty boring besides that. I sat in front of my laptop, and clicked on the next lesson on my Japanese learning program.

Hey, at least she's trying to educate herself. I'll give her a few points.

I already knew the basics, and could probably could have a very simple conversation with someone. I had already attempted several pranks as an act of revenge on L, but none of them worked.

ATTEMPT ONE

The Rubber Band

Directions: This is best used on someone with very shaggy hair. All you need to do is get a rubber band, and tangle it into their hair when they aren't paying attention.

Because L? Man, that guy notices nothing. You know, because it's not like he's the WORLD'S GREATEST DETECTIVE or anything!

This will be very hard and painful to remove.

I slowly walked up to L at night, when everyone was asleep and he was busy working on the Kira case. I was about to tangle up his hair in the rubber band when…

"Ari, please refrain from putting things in my hair." L interrupted.

Holy crap, he found her out!? BUT SHE WAS BEING SO SNEAKY!!!11

"Oh well, er, I'll just be going back to sleep now!" I said with an obviously fake chuckle, "must have been sleepwalking…"

"I doubt you were Ari." L said,

because he's not a dipshit.

although I was already halfway to the elevator.

ATTEMPT TWO - ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

Food Sabotage
Directions: Do anything you can to make food disgusting. Replace the cheese on cheesecake with mashed up deodorant, mix up the sugar and salt, replace whipped cream with shaving cream, and anything else you can think of.

You know, I can't remember what L did in the first place. I don't think it was anything that warranted this kind of behavior. Stupid Ariana.

I walked into the kitchen as casually as I could. I tried to make it appear as if I was simply getting a snack from the fridge, assuming that the only cameras were in the exterior of the kitchen(NOT inside the fridge).

It's L; there are probably cameras under everyone's pillow.

As soon as I attempted to mix tomato sauce with the strawberry jam, I heard a familiar voice in the intercom that I had no idea existed.

"Ari, I hope you're going to be the one eating that." L said through the intercom. "And people say I have a weird taste…"

Why, though? L just loves sweets. It's no reason to think his tastes are weird.

Wait, this is slightly (and will become even more so as the story goes on, no doubt) OOC L. Never mind.

"What- how did?" I shouted, dropping the jar of strawberry jam on the cold tile floor with a large crash from the broken glass.

"Did you not notice the camera in the refrigerator?" L asked through the intercom.

I picked up the broken glass, flustered with anger.

I became so angry, in fact, that I accidentally cut up my whole hand on the glass, quickly bleeding to death. THE END!

ATTEMPT THREE

Liquor Coffee

Directions: Pour Liquor in someone's coffee, or coffee creamer.

OH MAN, SHE'S SO EVIL! PUTTING LIQUOR INTO COFFEE! Why, she might even start putting mints under everyone's pillows, she is so mischievous!

I did manage to put a great deal of liquor in one of the coffee creamers.

I know where this is going to go, and it's not funny. Mainly because it's pretty fucking obvious.

I had a huge grin on my face as I sipped my coffee, which had no coffee creamer in it at all. I didn't seem to notice L acting any different after 6 cups of coffee. As soon as I noticed this, nearly everyone witnessed Matsuda falling out of his chair for no apparent reason.

"This c-coffee isn't right!" Matsuda shouted as he attempted to get back up.

It's just liquor; she didn't piss in it. It should not be enough to make a grown man freak the hell out.

"Ari." Light moaned, sexually. "it clearly shows you pouring liquor in the coffee creamer on the surveillance cameras."

"Well.. About that-"

"I didn't even know we had liquor." L said.

I sighed, and took another sip of my coffee.

It had been over a week since the liquor-coffee incident.

Incident? It's your own damn fault! The idea of putting liquor in, you know, THE WHOLE THING OF CREAMER was stupid. So was thinking that was a good comeback for... what was it? L taking her in, trying to make sure he didn't let a suspect walk? Yeah.

Again, how dare L do his job?

I was beginning to give up, until I saw a pair of red socks on my footboard. A Cheshire cat grin painted my face as a whole new idea filled my head.

A whole new, undoubtedly ANNOYING AS SHIT idea.

Why is she doing this? Does she think it will help her in any way to get back at L for actually doing what he's supposed to? Why do fangirls honestly think that their OCs would make the series oh so much better?

Why do I bother wondering any of this?

This post has been edited by Moose: Mar 16 2011, 04:07 PM

[Kuramastrass]

Why do fangirls honestly think that their OCs would make the series oh so much better?

Short answer: Because we think we know better than the original authors.

And, well, it's an OC or Light. OCs are almost always the second half of a hetero pairing.

[Poppy Bro Fan]

The title makes me laugh for some reason.

[oneluckyduck]

And, well, it's an OC or Light. OCs are almost always the second half of a hetero pairing.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4728760/1/


[Do you ever have the feeling you think more about the fandom then the author does? ]

[Kuramastrass]

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4728760/1/
[Do you ever have the feeling you think more about the fandom then the author does?  ]

Is that Light as a girl? Yeah, counts as an OC in my book.

Skimmed the summary because I've been linked to one too many mind-blowingly wtf fics lately, NEKO_MAID.

[oneluckyduck]

Actually, while it is crack, it is one of my favorite stories because it does it so WELL. I would actually suggest it as real fanfiction reading material. XD

[Moose]

Light as a girl? I... can't see it. Or more like, my brain is blocking the thought out, because it seems a little creepy.
Also, updating this later when I get home. I'm currently at work.

This post has been edited by Moose: Mar 18 2011, 07:27 AM

[Moose]

Last night, when I checked on this story before going to sleep, the author said she was going to stop writing the story, and it was done FOREVER!!!! Or something like that.

But I guess she changed her mind, rewrote her chapter (it explained her stopping the story) and will continue writing it. That is, when she gets over her MAJOR writer's block. I have no idea how long that will be, and hopefully by the time she gets back to this, she'll start writing about the actual INVESTIGATION, as opposed to the stupid shit Ariana's been doing.

With that said, here is the last (until MinamiAmi gets back to this) chapter of LxOC thingy.

---

I feel like I am addicted to writing this thing! Too bad I don't feel this way about math homework…


This picks up right where chapter 4 left off, but this time the first part is L's POV, it's 3rd person.

Third person does not equate L's point of view, but whatever. As long as it's not Ariana's point of view, I'm good.

Chapter 5

Pinky L

L sat in his chair, sipping his liquor-free coffee. Light was next to him, typing up some sort of document. Nearly everyone was in the lobby, excluding Ari. He

Who he? There are like, eight guys (if we include everyone in the headquarters, excluding Ryuk) we could be talking about. A name would be helpful.

looked up in the surveillance cameras, and saw that she was picking up several articles of clothing. One of which happened to be a pair of red socks. How she could stand wearing such things, he'd never know.

I agree; it clashes with her outfit and looks HORRIBLE! Someone needs to call What Not to Wear on her.

Ari walked into the bathroom, and began to remove her shirt. Remembering the promise he made her, he turned of the monitor that viewed her bathroom. Right by the monitor showing Ari's bathroom, Misa entered her room. She was chatting away on her sell phone, and the charms decorating it were dancing around as she jumped around in an exaggerated manner, despite the fact that whoever she was talking to obviously couldn't see her.

You know, I guess it's good to know she's writing details and everything, but I kind of wonder what the point of this is.

He noticed that Ari had walked out of the bathroom, and he turned the monitor back on as Ari walked out the door.

L took another sip of his coffee, and his eyes widened as he noticed the cup was empty.

"Watari, could you get me another cup of coffee?" L asked through the intercom. In around 40 seconds, Watari arrived, and poured his cup to the brim, along with handing him a bowl full of sugar cubes.

Well, this is extremely pointless.

"Thank you Watari." L said.

"Hey-a Ryuzaki!" Ari said as she walked behind him, wearing a rather large hoodie, which covered her hands with at least 6 inches of sleeve lest over.

"Yes Ari."

"Do y-know where the laundry room is? I have dirty clothes I need to wash."

You've been in Japan for two days. How much laundry could you possibly have!?

"Room 4444, 14th floor."

A laundry room on the fourteenth floor? Because who needs convenience, right?

"Thanks!" Ari said, skipping too the elevator with a little too much enthusiasm.

Ari appeared to peak inside of each washer, probably to find one that didn't have clothes in it. Perhaps he hoped that was the case though. Either way, he'd play along this time so that he wouldn't have to worry about another prank.

Because, you know, L has nothing better to do than make sure a stupid OC isn't playing a prank. It's not like there's some mass murderer running around or anything!

I grinned as I found the washer containing L's t-shirts.

Hello, random, unannounced point of view change! How's it going?

The grip on my red sock tightened for a moment, though it was impossible to see the socks in my oversized sweater. I opened the door to the washer a little wider, and I casually rested my wrist on the edge, dropping the sock into the washer. I carefully closed the door, and faked a sigh, as if I was frustrated that it had clothes too.

This is incredibly stupid, what does she gain from doing this?

I took two steps to the next washer, and put all my dirty clothes in there. By the time I was walking out the door, I had to bite my cheeks to stop myself from laughing. Part one of my plan was complete.

"Hey Ryuzaki!" I said, with a cup of coffee in my hand.

"Oh hey Ari. Oh be careful with-" he began, but it was too late. I 'accidentally' spilled coffee all over his shirt, but immediately wished I had waited until an hour or so, when his laundry would be fresh, clean, and pink.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" I pretended to apologize.

Okay, you know what? No. How can we be expected to like Ariana at this point? She is just a petty, ignorant, annoying sack of crap. She knows that there's an important investigation going on, right? So why not either stay in her room, or attempt to help out? But no, then we couldn't see how FUN and CLEVER she is!

God, I want to hurt her.

"No problem. I have an extra shirt in the washer. I'll just have to wait until it's done being washed.

"So… wanna play tic-tac-toe while you're waiting?" I asked, though I had a feeling I already knew the answer.

"Really Ari?" L asked.

L: I'm trying to find Kira, and all you care about is your shitty kid's game? Damn, you're stupid.

I sighed, and began playing with the collar of my sweater.

I checked the clock again.

"It's been a while, should we check on them to see if you need to put them in the dryer?" I asked.

It's been probably, like, five minutes.

"The dryer is built into the washer." L explained.

"Huh, that's an odd feature." I said.

"I exist you know." Light said, looking at us and lifting his handcuffed hand.

"Does Light-bulb feel neglected?" I teased.

HAHA, OH THAT ARIANA! SHE COMES UP WITH SUCH CLEVER NAMES! SHE IS A CHARM, THAT GIRL!

Light glared at me, and stood up as L did. The three of us headed towards the elevator, and Light pushed the up button.

I had to bite my cheeks to stop from laughing when we entered the laundry room. By the time L opened up the door to the washer which contained L's shirts, I couldn't help myself and burst into laughter.

"Ari…" L groaned. "Why-"

"Well, I was still mad about the false suspicion I'm under, but at least you won't have to worry about any more prank attempts!" I explained.

BITCH, YOU LISTEN! L DID IT FOR THE GOOD OF THE WORLD! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO RAN FROM A CRIME SCENE, WHICH IS WHY YOU WERE SUSPECTED IN THE FIRST PLACE!

BUT YOU? YOU'RE DOING THIS FOR NO GOOD REASON OTHER THAN YOUR OWN PERSONAL GAIN, WHICH I STILL DO NOT GET THE POINT OF. THIS IS BEYOND IDIOTIC, AND I HOPE LIGHT WRITES YOUR NAME NEXT IN HIS NOTEBOOK SO I DON'T HAVE TO READ ABOUT YOU AND YOUR SHITTY, CHILDISH PLOTS AGAIN!

Whew. All better.

"You made my shirt pink." He groaned.

"Just wear it for one day, please? Just until your other shirt is clean." I begged.

"Really Ari?" Light said.

"Shuttup Light-bulb. While you're at it, spell your name backwards in English letters."

What is this, I don't even...

Never mind. For the time being, I will just go and assume that Light doing that will have some deeper meaning. Or maybe none at all, since we've already seen Ariana does and says things for no apparent reason.

Until this story is updated, I hope you guys enjoyed reading this! I definitely enjoyed mocking it.

This post has been edited by Moose: Mar 18 2011, 12:17 PM

[oneluckyduck]

Eh, Light YAGAMI turns into IM A GAY when spelled backwards.

I...I have never done this before. I gave up reading. Despite your mock, despite the horrors I have read, I gave up reading it. The stupidity of the characters, the pointlessness of the plotline, the utterly horrible Original (?!) Character caused me to push my chair away from the desk and give up.
Where is this person? Can we send her the link to this mock, because I really want to headbutt her into unconciousness right now, but a written version will be just as satisfying.

[Moose]

Ah. I thought she meant LIGHT backwards. She doesn't really specify; she just says to write his name backwards. Which is obviously why I took it the way I did.

Anyway, I'm surprised you can make it through Shattered Kingdom, but not this. As I said, at least she kind of attempts to keep the characters in character. It turns out horribly as time goes on, but it's something.

As for giving her the link, I would prefer not to. I'd rather not risk her signing up and causing trouble because her oh so sacred story was made fun of. I mean, this is the same girl who conveniently got writer's block after I told her Ariana wasn't likable.

Seriously, if you look up the story, her latest chapter is her wanting to know how she should write up her mary-sue. She wants her readers to decide if Ariana should be a little shit, or if she should be boring as crap, like in the first two chapters.

Since, you know, it's HARRRRD to just decide for herself. She can probably just slowly but surely flesh out Ariana to make her likable, if she tries hard enough.

As for the headbutting, that's drastic. All she did was write a cruddy fic. I've seen far worse stories.

[Kuramastrass]

We're not allowed to link them.

Also, the tedious ones like this tend to make you give up. Try SMLoZ or NTL if you don't believe me.