LSC Entry: Garden of Eva, This Bites Options

[Dr. O]

While this isn't my first fanficiton mock, it is the first that I'm actually showing to other people. And it's an Eva fic! How original!

Garden of Eva, for those fortunate enough to have not heard of it, is a really old Evangelion fanfic set in episode 26. It's also divided into three "books": Bites, Sucks, and Blows. No, really, those are the titles. In case you hadn't already guessed, it's a lime/lemon! So not only do those titles accurately describe the content of the story, but they reflect its quality as well.

I'll be doing Book 0: Bites. The fic is in red, since that seems to be popular around here.

[EVA][Fanfic][Lime] Garden of EVA 0:1 - Reality Bites!
Incidentally, this story is so old that I could only find it as a raw text file, which had apparently been posted to some kind of Usenet board. So not only is this a fanfic mockery, but it's also a time capsule into the late 1990s anime fandom. It's like edutainment, only it makes you feel dirty afterwards!

=======================================================================
Garden of EVA 0:1 - Reality Bites!

Neon Genesis Evangelion characters and situations created and Copyright
by Gainax, Project Eva, ADV Films - Used without permission

Why does everybody say this? Do they think that, unless they state otherwise, readers will be under the impression that Hideaki Anno sanctioned the writing of their bizarre sex fantasy? Then again, this is the same show that has inspired people to create Rei fleshlights, so...

Garden of EVA series created, written, and copyright 1998-1999 by Jim
Lazar

It's a blast from the past!

A biting series set within episode 26 of Neon Genesis Evangelion

<Speech text in angle brackets is thought by character.>
"Speech text in double quotes is spoken as Japanese."

How delightfully unnecessary.
(Technically speaking, I could just replace the brackets with italics, since in this distant future world of 2011 we have something called text formatting, but I won't since I'm a lazy bastard.)
Also, I really hope that bit about Japanese doesn't mean we'll be seeing honorifics and fanboy Japanese.

E-mail comments and/or criticisms to: jim [at] animeprime.com

Previous parts and my other fanfiction can be found at:
http://www.animeprime/ff/geva

Amazingly, that site is still up. Sort of. As a mirror.

=======================================================================
Spoiler warning: This story contains references to episode 26 of the
Neon Genesis Evangelion TV series. If you have not seen that episode,
this story may contain spoilers and/or spoiled food. Also, seeing that
episode would be helpful to fully enjoy this story (I was going to say
understanding that episode would be helpful, but I still haven't fully
figured it out myself).


Nobody has.

This story has no connection with any of the
Eva movies (mostly because I have not seen any of the movies).


But you're missing out on so much! Like a recap of the series with five whole frames of new animation! Doesn't that sound exciting?

=======================================================================
Naughty words warning: There be some bad words in this here story.
Rather than bleep them out or tone them down, I'm just warning you.
Live with it.

Oh no, my delicate sensibilities!

=======================================================================
Naked people warning: There be some naked people in this story. Unlike
the Eva anime, they do have nipples and other bits. Of course, you have
to use your imagination to see them anyway.

Thank you for warning us about text-only nudity. In the event that any crops up, I will just imagine that every character is Anna Kournikova. Even Shinji.
Especially Shinji.

=======================================================================
Sex warning: No sex to speak of in this story. Well, some talk of sex,
but no actual sex acts. Well, that depends on your definition of sex
acts, I guess.

This does not bode well, regardless of which definition of "well" you happen to be using.

=======================================================================
Warning warning: There are no more warnings in this story.

That reminds me, I've been meaning to read Without Warning for a while now. Should be a good read.

=======================================================================


"Unit 01, Angel at 9 o'clock."

Oh, hey, has the story finally started? OK, I guess I could just read this, too.

"I've got it. Asuka, take the Angel on your right. I'll take this
new one," Shinji called out. He quickly adjusted his Eva's controls and
his Eva Unit 01 lumbered to engage the new threat.

I recall a distinct lack of Evas and Angels in episode 26. Clearly, the version of Evangelion you watched was much better than mine.

"Who put you in command?!" an angry female voice replied over the
intercom.

Shinji sighed. It was like this every time they piloted the Evas.
"Just do it, you're closer to that one!" Shinji yelled back.

"Jackass," Asuka replied. Then her Eva Unit 02 launched a volley
of high-powered bullets at her target.

Asuka, who had inexplicably recovered from her coma...

"You'd be better off using hand to hand with that Angel," a calm
female voice informed Asuka.

"When I want your advice, I'll ask for it!"

And Rei has recovered from... whatever happened to her.

Shinji was wrestling with an Angel that was twice the size of his
Eva. He tried to get his progressive knife into the Angel's core, but
it kept moving around the body to avoid the knife.

All those hours spent with Piccolo shouting at it to dodge had finally paid off.

"Damn it!" Shinji cursed as an explosion rocked his entry plug. He
turned his Eva's head to find the source. It was Unit 00. "Rei!"

"I am undamaged," Rei replied.

You better be. If you were damaged goods, the otaku wouldn't want anything to do with you.

Shinji returned to trying to kill his Angel. He grinned as he
finally found the core with his blade. The Angel exploded underneath
him and sent him flying backward to land on top of Eva Unit 02.

"Get off of me, Shinji!" Asuka called.

"I'm not doing this because I like you!" Shinji screamed back. He
tried to move his Eva off Eva Unit 02, but the Angel Asuka was fighting
had wrapped an elastic arm around both of them.

"Hey look! Shinji and Asuka are doing it!" Touji called out.

Wait, Toji? Why is Toji-

"Pervert! Just fight your own Angel and leave the lovebirds
alone!" Hikari scolded Touji.

Hikari? What? Hikari? What's going on here?

"We are not! Our Eva's are just tangled up!" Asuka insisted.

"Very well, I'll take care of this," Rei said.

Soon, Eva Unit 00 deftly destroyed the Angel holding Units 01 and
02 in their doggy style position.



As the Angel exploded, the three Eva
units were blasted in all directions.

Touji was chasing a glowing Angel through the streets of Tokyo-3
in his Eva Unit 03 and used his Eva's flexible arms to strangle the
glowing Angel in front of him. With a sickening sucking sound, the
Angel's head popped off and a bloody mess fell to the ground. "Cool!"
Touji exclaimed.

I'm... pretty sure that Unit 03 couldn't actually extend it's arms normally, and that's just something the Angel did. But maybe I'm just being pedantic. There are more important things to complain about, like...

"Oh, that's just sick," Hikari said, holding back her lunch. She
then pivoted her Eva Unit 06 quickly to dodge the Angel who was rushing
at her back. With a graceful sweep of her long progressive sword, she
cut the Angel in half. She smirked. Poetry in motion was the best way
to deal with Angels.

Why is Hikari a poet dancer Eva pilot now? Is she some kind of combination of Emily Dickinson and River Tam? Why does she have a progressive sword? What is a progressive sword? Why does Unit 06 exist? Is it one of those winged sock puppet head monsters from End of Eva, or is it something else? Maybe Jim saw Rebuild of Evangelion in the future and this is that Unit 06. If so, he should have warned us that Rebuild 2.0 would be garbage. But he didn't.
What a douchebag.

"Nice form, Hikari," Kensuke called out, just as he used his Eva
Unit 05 to toss an Angel into an energy barrier that the ground forces
had erected nearby. The Angel exploded along with a chorus of song.

Ode to Joy, no doubt.

"Hey! Quit hitting on my babe!" Touji snapped.

Wait a second, did that say Kensuke? What? Why is he here? MY BRAIN HURTS.

"I'm not a babe! You Neanderthal!"

Hikari's so easy, a caveman can do her!

Shinji had gotten his Eva Unit 01 back to it's feet and was
scanning for an Angel to attack. He spotted one advancing on the group
of Evas from his left; he raced off towards it. "Die!" he screamed, as
he grabbed a huge rifle from a nearby ammunition building. He swung the
rifle up and blasted the Angel repeatedly. The Angel's advance was
slowed by his shots, but not stopped.

Doesn't Shinji know that the only things that can kill Angels are progressive knives and giant tuning forks?

Suddenly, Eva Unit 00 was in front of Shinji. It was facing him
and appeared to be grinning, but that couldn't be. Shinji was so
surprised at it's appearance that he didn't even get an arm up to block
the knife that Unit 00 thrust deep into his Eva's head. The knife
sliced through the armor of Unit 01's head and projected out the back.
A dark red liquid oozed out. Shinji saw Unit 00 start to pull his Eva's
arm off just before his controls all went dead and he was left in
darkness.

"Damn it! Why did you do that, Rei?!" Shinji shouted, but got no
response since his systems were all dead.

"Rei, you team-killing fucktard!"

After he had run through every swear word he knew, and some that
he just made up, his entry plug opened up. Shinji crawled out. Rei was
standing over him in her school uniform. Rei grinned and put her hand
on her hips. "That's for looking at my panties after school," Rei said,
then added, "Not to mention on my first day of school, too!!!"

"That was an accident!" Shinji insisted.

"Yeah, right. Hikari filled me in on you and the rest of the Idiot
Trio," Rei said. "And how in the hell is flipping my skirt up after
school an accident?"

Wait, didn't that happen in an episode of Eva? Except it was Asuka instead of Rei? Except instead of stabbing Shinji in the face, she slapped him and then spent months torturing him both physically and psychologically. Man, teenage girls are vindictive.

"Fine then. If all it cost me was losing a dumb VR game, it was
worth it for a peek at your panties!" Shinji snapped back at Rei,
grinning. "A nice pink lace, with little hearts on them...if I remember
correctly."

Rei blushed. He had gotten a good look at them after all. "That's
the last time you'll ever see them! Pervert!" Rei informed Shinji and
stormed out of the game area.

Provided she's never hospitalized.

Shinji watched her leave, then was joined by Touji and Kensuke.
"Oh yeah...she has the love jones for me," Shinji said.

Love jones? Is that anything like Tom Jones? Because I like Tom Jones.

"She hides it well," Kensuke said, smirking.

"So, Shinji...what was it like to hump Asuka?" Touji asked.

"Huh? Oh...that was nothing."

Sex bomb, sex bomb, you're my sex bomb! You can give it to me when I need to come along!
...
Oh, right, I was reviewing a fanfic. Sorry.

"Tell me about it... I didn't even feel it," Asuka said, as she
walked up behind the Idiot Trio. "But since I have seen you naked it
actually was pretty realistic." She smiled at Shinji and made her exit.

Ooh, ice burn.

"Hey! It was cold this morning!" Shinji shouted at her back.

"There was shrinkage!"

"Bitch," he muttered.

We are in perfect agreement, Shinji.

"Okay you three morons! Get out of the game area and we can see
how pitifully you did," Hikari commanded, then herded them out. The
next group of Eva pilots crawled into the game entry plugs.

Wait a minute, Eva is a virtual reality game? What? What did I... what... I... What? What is this? Why would you... What... VR... Eva... What?

-E- -V- -A-

They all sat in the food court at the shopping center where the
Evangelion game center was. "That was a fun game, until Rei killed me,"
Shinji remarked, glaring at Rei.

Rei stuck her tongue out at Shinji, then leaned in to take a sip
of her drink. She winced in pain as the straw jabbed into her still
extended tongue. She gasped, then rubbed her hurt tongue.

Someone's out of character here, but I can't quite put my finger on it.

The gang all started to chuckle. "Hey, Shinji! Why don't you kiss
Rei's tongue to make it feel better!" Touji said, pushing Shinji closer
to Rei.

"Hey! Cut that out!" Shinji exclaimed, taking a lingering look at
Rei.

"If only those Eva units were real. It'd be really cool to pilot
them," Kensuke said, examining a schematic book of the game Evas.

Lolirony.

"I guess, but Shinji would want his to be anatomically correct,"
Asuka remarked.

Shinji Ikari: mecha fetishist extraordinaire.

"I already said that was an accident!" Shinji insisted.

"Shinji loves Asuka. Shinji loves Asuka!" Touji and Kensuke
taunted.

"Cut that out!" Shinji yelled.

Are they in grade school or something?

Ignoring the three stooges, Hikari examined their scorecards.
"Looks like Rei beat us all on points scored."

"How the fuck did she do that?" Asuka screamed, jumping to her
feet and pounding the table.

"Well, she got a big bonus for killing Shinji," Hikari explained,
pointing to the scorecard.

It's an unlockable achievement, along with "being a jailbait sex object marketed to millions of desperate nerds" and "transforming into the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man and destroying the world."

"Well, that's easy enough to emulate," Asuka remarked, grinning at
Shinji.

"Damn. No fair ganging up on me! Asuka, you're just mad because
you're not number one anymore!" Shinji exclaimed.

"Yoo ah numbah wan!"

"Well, we'll see how 'Wondergirl' does in tomorrow's game."

"Tomorrow?" Rei asked.

"Well, can't beat me and then not give me a rematch. Can you?"
Asuka asked, then smiled at Rei.

"You're on, Asuka," Rei replied, then added, "We can take turns
killing Shinji."

Shinji grew pale.

The thought of not playing had never occurred to him.

Kensuke looked up from the blueprints, adjusted his glasses, and
said, "Maybe I'll use Unit 01 tomorrow. It seems to respond a little
quicker than the later models.

Shinji yelled, "No! I always use Unit 01!"

"He's so set in his ways, isn't he?" Rei asked Asuka.

"Yeah, but if you hit him hard enough he bends," Asuka quipped.
Asuka slurped down some sort of gelatinous food, then asked, "Rei...how
did you know about Unit 00, anyway? It's not listed in any of the Eva
books."

Huh?

"Oh...I used to play Eva down in Osaka-2. One of the Eva-heads
down there discovered the secret prototype Eva in the program," Rei
explained, awkwardly.

"Is that how you found out how to override the lockout on killing
your teammates?" Touji asked.

"Yup. Just wait till you see what I show you tomorrow," Rei said,
smiling knowingly.

Why is Rei a l33t h4x0r? What's the point? What does this even have to do with Eva? Was this the best they could do in 1999?

-E- -V- -A-

The gang walked home from the mall, Rei and Hikari brought up the
rear. "So...is Asuka really Shinji's girlfriend?" Rei asked Hikari,
softly.

Hikari replied, "Not that I know of. They just grew up together."

IfyouknowwhatImean.

Upon hearing this, a small smile crossed Rei's face. She looked at
all of the cute butts in front of her as she walked. She wore a large
smile by the time she got home.

Wait, all of them? Does that include Hikari? When did Rei become bisexual?
This fic raises too many questions. It's like Socrates snorted a bunch of crack and then watched anime. And also instead of a famous philosopher he was some guy named Jim who wouldn't allow his sparse writing talent to deter him from making Eva porn.

"I'm home!" Rei called out as she walked in her front door.

"Welcome home, Sis!" Ritsuko replied. "Mom's still at her new job,
so it's microwave lasagna again."

Rei and Ritsuko are sisters?

"Can't you just nuke a different instant meal for once, Big
sister?" Rei called back, as she pulled her school uniform off.

No, really, why are they sisters?

"No," Ritsuko replied, poking her head into Rei's room. "How was
your first week at the new school?"

"Not bad. I met some kids...they are a little strange, but
nice...I guess," Rei said.

Hey! Fanfic! I asked you a question!

"Any cute boys?"

"Err...maybe," Rei replied, blushing.

Ritsuko smiled. "What's his name?"

STOP IGNORING ME!

"No, it's not that...honestly," Rei insisted.

"Right," Ritsuko replied, unconvinced. "What did you do after
school?"

"Me and the gang went and played Neon Genesis Evangelion at the
mall."

Ritsuko raised an eyebrow and smiled. "Already 'The Gang', huh?
Did you tell them that your mother designed that game and you probably
have more hours in the entry plug than anyone else in the world?"

Wait a minute... If Ritsuko and Rei are sisters, who's their mother?

"No, it didn't come up." Rei grinned, mischievously.

-E- -V- -A-

"I'm home!" Shinji called as he walked into his family's
apartment.

"Welcome home, Shinji!" his mom called back.

Shinji tossed his books into his room, went to the kitchen, and
rummaged through the refrigerator.

"Shinji, don't spoil your appetite. Dinner is in an hour," his
mother informed him.

"Okay, Mom," Shinji replied, but kept looking through the
refrigerator. "Nag, nag, nag," he muttered, as he pulled out a can of
soda out and a leftover pork bun.

He inhaled the pork bun, then thought that he should have nuked it
first.

By 2015, Japan has apparently gotten over the trauma of Hiroshima and Nagasaki and turned its technological prowess toward perfecting the culinary application of nuclear devices.

He chugged down the soda on his way to the bathroom. He washed
up and then sank his body into the tub.

He sat silently with his eyes closed.

"Is this really the world you want?" a female voice said.

Shinji opened his eyes and saw Rei standing over him. Naked.

For Shinji, it was the first time he had ever seen a naked woman outside of pornographic comic books.
For Rei, it was Tuesday.

"Rei!" Shinji gasped, then tried to cover himself. Then he
realized that he wasn't in the bathroom anymore, although he was still
naked. "What's going on?" he asked, as he rose to his feet and scanned
the large empty theater he found himself in.

"Your world isn't perfect," another female voice said, behind him.

Shinji looked back at Asuka, who was also naked. She hadn't been
there when he looked around the room a few seconds earlier. "Asuka?
But...my mom is alive and I don't have to see my friends die and don't
have to pilot a real Eva and I don't have to kill and even my dad seems
human. It seems perfect to me."

Aside from Asuka still mocking him and Rei teamkilling him. And also why the fuck are Hikari and Kensuke pilots?

Rei said softly, "There is no perfect world. You created this
world with what you considered a set of perfect conditions."

"But after that initial starting point everything will start
changing as people interact with each other," Misato said, from
Shinji's left.

Rei added, "No person is an island."

It's true. I'm more of an isthmus.
That's a funny word... isthmus...

Shinji looked at Misato and wasn't too surprised that she was also
naked. "Seems okay to me so far."

"But, it's not real," Asuka said.

Misato's breasts are fake? I've been lied to all these years!

"Reality bites! I'll take this...no...I'll take *MY* world any
day!" Shinji exclaimed.

Oh, hey, and there's a title drop.

All three of the women faded out saying, "We'll see."

Shinji awoke from the dream he was having about the new girl. "Rei
has a naughty side, apparently." He grinned, as he remembered the
whipped cream all over her body.

Wait, did he just forget about that little visit from the Ghosts of Fanservice Past, Present, and Future?

"Shinji, dinner!" his mom called from outside the bathroom.

"Coming!" Shinji replied, then got up and dressed.

THESE ARE NOT LITTLE DETAILS, FIC! I WOULD APPRECIATE AN ANSWER!

[End - Garden of EVA 0:1]

Oh, wait, it's over.

=======================================================================
Neon Genesis Evangelion
Virtual Reality Experience Simulator (VRES)
Evangelion Unit Data

Oh crap there's more.

Eva Unit 00 - Prototype/Modified Model
(disabled on commercial game systems)
Color: Blue
Design date: June 16, 2014
Eye configuration: One
Armor: Dual-polymer titanium (38 metric tons)

38 tons seems a little low, all things considered.

Built-in weapons: (2) Progressive knives in shoulder holsters
Usable weapons: All type 1, 2, and 3 manual weapons

What is a type 1 manual weapon? Or a type 2? Or type 3? Would you mind telling us what any of this means, or why we're supposed to care? Maybe some context? No? OK, fine, go on.

AT field generator power: 135x2

Funny, but I don't recall the show ever quantifying the strength of AT Fields beyond "Kaworu's is really, really strong, but Rei's is strongerer."

Response time delay: 30 milliseconds
Power supply: 600 seconds run time, average usage

What is average usage? Is it standing still, or walking, or what? You can't expect us to know what you mean just because you threw a number out there.

Special equipment: Mono sighting scope, for long range
targeting
Invincible mode for debugging purposes

Oh well, at least it's ove-

Eva Unit 01 - Testtype/Modified Model

Oh fuck me.

Color: Purple
Design date: July 12, 2014
Eye configuration: Two
Armor: Dual-polymer titanium (44 metric tons)
Built-in weapons: (2) Progressive knifes in shoulder holsters
(1) Head horn can be removed and used as
sword or spear

What? What would make you think that? What are you basing that on? I AM BEGINNING TO DOUBT THE VERISIMILITUDE OF THIS STORY.

Usable weapons: All type 1, 2, and 3 manual weapons
AT field generator power: 145x2

By 2? By 2 what? What are you basing that number on? Why do I care?

Response time delay: 21 milliseconds
Power supply: 600 seconds run time, average usage
Special equipment: Invincible mode for debugging purposes
(disabled on commercial game systems)

Hey, how about that thing where it goes crazy and fillets Angels with its AT Field and then eats them so it can absorb their infinite energy organ? Because that's a cool trick that I think warrants a mention, at least more so than meaningless technical jargon that wouldn't be out of place in an episode of Star Trek.

Eva Unit 02 - Production Model
Color: Red
Design date: September 1, 2014
Eye configuration: Four
Armor: Tri-polymer titanium (48 metric tons)
Built-in weapons: (2) Progressive knifes in shoulder holsters
Usable weapons: All type 1, 2, 3, and 4 manual weapons
AT field generator power: 130x2

What is a type 4 manual weapon? Is 130x2 good? Are those numbers better than the other Evas' numbers? It's a newer model, so I'd think so, but they're also smaller. Is this like golf? Are small numbers good?
Are you a tabletop RPG player, Jim? Do you just want to see Unit 01's numbers fight Unit 02's numbers? Because I think that would be better than more jokes about giant robots humping.

Response time delay: 42 milliseconds
Power supply: 600 seconds run time, average usage
Special equipment: Two mouths with razor sharp fangs
=======================================================================
Author's notes/ramblings:

How is this not over yet?


In the beginning, there was darkness. Then the author pressed the
fast-forward button on his remote control and fast-forwarding past the
devilish commercials at the beginning of the thirteenth Neon Genesis
Evangelion videotape. And the author beheld what the creators were
working up to for the past 24 episodes.

Gainax employee: OH SHIT WE RAN OUT OF MONEY!
Anno: It's cool, dude. I got it covered.
Gainax employee: Really? You got someone to pay for the last two episodes?
Anno: No, better.
Gainax employee: Are... are those storyboards? And marker doodles?
Anno: I made them myself.
Gainax employee: That's, like, two minutes of content. Tops. There's no way you can show that on national TV and not get laughed at.
Anno: Actually, they'l praise me as an artistic genius who was planning it from the start. Now where are my hookers?
Gainax employee: You mean that callgirl you hired?
Anno: No! Once they're dead they're just hookers!

And the author was confused. Therefore, the author watched the tape
once again. And, alas, the author was still confused.

However, on the third viewing the author latched onto a brief
five-minute piece of inspiration. The author tried to sleep as an idea
for a twisted fanfic floated in his head.

The next morning, the author mumbled something about why didn't they
end the story with the alternate world. He then realized that would
have been a major cop out on the creators' part. Then with a burst of
light and angelic music, he realized that what was fanfic authors were
for. To cop out. Or cop a feel.

AHAHAHAHAHAPLEASEKILLME!

Divinely inspired, our noble and handsome fanfic author put data to
disk. He composed a short 8k story based on the aforementioned five
minutes of episode 26. A scant hour and a half later, the story was
sent to the FFML. The author jumped in his jeep and drove to the coast
to get some sun.

Two sunburned legs later, the author returned to find his holy mailbox
was full.

And it was good.

I beg to differ.

But how to expand on this story, for it had no angst. It was a
14-year-old boy's perfect world. The author pondered for two sunsets
and two more viewings, then arrived at the solution.

Our saintly author put more data to disk and rewrote the story to
provide for more action, more bad language, more nudity, and tossed in
a dream that set the tone for the series. Angst this.

The pre-readers and FFML agreed. Mostly.

And thus a new series joined the busy author's masterpiece, Childhood
of a Modern Dynasty. <--blatant plug.

And it was good. <--blatant ego trip

And then the author changed the title of the series from 'Reality
Bites' to 'Garden of EVA'.

This Bites.

It sure does.

No, that is the name of the next part. This part is called Reality
Bites.

Stop before your ramblings are larger than the story.

Yes, Rei.

Huh? Does this guy have multiple personality disorder? What's going on here?

-E- -V- -A-

Unlike my big series, Childhood of a Modern Dynasty, this one isn't as
tightly plotted, but I do have an mental image of where this series
will lead. I just don't know how long it'll take me to get there and
how many parts it will be (much the same as CMD). This series will be
in small parts (between 15k and 20k). I can't handle another big series
of 60k to 100k chapters right now. Besides, the small parts for this
series seems to work well (of course I've only done two parts as of
this writing, so who knows). The up side is that I'll probably have
more parts in a shorter time span.

SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP!

Sorry (sort of) about the language in this series, but it is keeping
with the five minute alternate world Shinji envisioned in episode 26.
Considering that world is based on a 14-year-olds idea of an ideal
world, it's understandable they would all have potty mouths and raging
hormones.

The specifications for the game Evas are similar to the real Evas, but
not exactly the same. More specifications will appear in the next part.

No! They really aren't the same! You are an idiot!

I'd like to thank all the FFML members who commented on the rough
drafts and also my pre-readers: Ryan Erik, David Johnson, Nlson31, and
Antookis. Of course in the end, any mistakes and botched characters are
my fault.


Revision 0.0 - Initial draft/FFML feedback piece (July 11, 1998)
Revision 0.1 - Pre-reader/FFML draft
(highly revised from initial piece)
Revision 0.2 - Final draft
Revision 1.0 - First RAAC posting (July 23, 1998)

Finally it's over why did I do that shit there are eight more chapters.
I... I need to lie down.

This post has been edited by Dr. O: Feb 12 2011, 02:58 PM

[Dr. O]

There's actually one more chapter and one more side-story. I'll probably post the final chapter in two parts, since it's rather long. As in, more than 10,000 words.

In retrospect, I really should have picked a shorter fic. I just want this to end.