Hamtaro: Mating Season, Little Hamsters, Big Orgasms! Options

[Al_Cone]

It came to my attention back in 2008, when I was still hard at work on SMLoZ, that mocking the same multichapter story gets very tedious after a while. As the chapters wear on and get progressively worse with each installment, your drive suffers, your jokes become less funny, your girlfriend leaves you for another man and the overall quality of your work begins to drop.

Now, don't mistake me--I'm not saying that I'm giving up on NTL. Just that I need something else to focus my energies on, something that'll let me recover my creative juices. That's actually why I did Where Were You? so recently, and that's why I'm doing this story now. Mark my words, NTL will not take three years to finish as SMLoZ is projected to (and it WILL be finished, make no mistake), but in the meanwhile, I need something else. Something to distract me from the horrors that good ol' Queenie has unleashed upon the world. Something profoundly worse than what I've been reading up until now.

With that in mind, let's talk about HAMTARO!!!



You remember Hamtaro, right? Anime about a gaggle of hamsters having hamster adventures, running all which-way and making onomatopoeic noises that narrate whatever actions they're taking? It aired on Cartoon Network about eight, nine years go?

Well, just in case you don't, it's an anime about...basically what I just said it's about. Anyway. So as it turns out, not only is there an extensive fanfic community centered around Hamtaro, there is an extensive fanfic community centered around Hamtaro that expressly enjoys writing about juvenile hamsters fucking one another. And while that in itself comes as no surprise, there's one story in particular--a beautiful piece of prose called "Mating Season"--that I think truly captures the essence of the Hamtaro fan community.

You know what really astounds me about this? Despite the fact that there is a ready-made cast of lolis and shotas just begging to be written into erotic scenarios, there are far more stories about the goddamn hamsters fucking than there are the kids. Sure, it's basically like choosing death by clawhammer over death by hungry wolverine, but...damn. I guess shows about anthropomorphic animals bring out the very worst in people, don't they?

*****

The ham-ham girls had been feeling strange lately. A desire they had felt brewing inside them was growing stronger and stronger, and it had only began two days ago.

It all started one fine afternoon when Hamtaro discovered Laura's hidden stash of heroin. He brought a small supply back to the clubhouse, enough for everybody to try at least once. Since that time, Hamtaro has vastly profited off of his friends' addictions, growing fat off of sunflower seeds and never wanting for a single ham-bitch or ham-ho.

Sandy's feeling of caring for Maxwell had changed to something else…it was similar, but there was a new desire, an emptiness that needed to be filled.

The existential crises of rodents make for gripping literature.

Bijou was shocked when she found that her desire was not for Hamtaro, the one that she thought she loved, but actually for her timid friend, Oxnard, while Penelope, who had become a young lady ham now, had her eyes set on Hamtaro, that robust, and charming hamster.

Of course, anybody who DOESN'T want to have sex with Hamtaro, hamster or no, is clearly mad. So we can safely assume that Bijou is not in full possession of her mental facilities.

But Penelope still wore that blanket over her head, but she would gladly take it off for Hamtaro, but the difference between her desires and the other girls, was that she KNEW what it was that she desired.

She wanted Hamtaro to squat over her face and poop into her mouth.

And as for Pashmina, well, she wouldn't tell the other girls who she desired, she wasn't embarrassed, but she was still finding it hard to believe herself of who she desired.

Even hamsters want Warren Beatty. Talk about sex appeal.

“ I cannot stop thinking about him”, Bijou said with a concerned frown on her face.

“ I'm sure Oxnard would be honored to mate with you!” Penelope exclaimed, trying to encourage Bijou.

Not fucking Bijou would strain diplomatic ties between France and Japan to the utmost, possibly bringing about a war between the two powers. Hamster sex is serious business.

“ Huh?”, all the girl hams, except Penelope, said in unison.

“ What?” , Penelope said, looking at the faces that had fallen on her, “ That is the desire you're talking about, right?”

Bijou: Oh my gosh--no! Just...ick! No! I wanted to buy him some new shower curtains! Jesus Christ on a baguette, you sick little monkey!

“ I do not know….” Bijou replied, somewhat sadly, “ I feel like there is an emptiness, and only that Oxnard could fill it…”

Actually, technically, any properly-equipped, virile male mammal could fill that emptiness, so don't limit yourself here, Bijou. Expand your horizons.

Penelope burst out giggling and started to play with Bijou's ribbons, “ Yes, you want him to be your mate. That is definitely it!”, she shouted and fell over, giggling, though she was an adult now, Penelope had still hung onto some of her girlish playfulness.

Just enough to make having sex with her an extremely uncomfortable affair.

“ Well what should I do…?” Bijou asked hesitantly.

Penelope was about to answer, when low and behold, she saw Oxnard approaching. She grinned wickedly and said , “ You do nothing, I will handle it.”. Then Penelope was off like a shot toward Oxnard, Bijou tried to call her back, but it was too late.

Penelope's at too high a level, and Bijou only has the Cascade Badge.

“ Hi there Oxnard!”, Penelope called out cutely.

“ Oh, hi Penelope” Oxnard replied with a smile and a casual twitch of the ear.

“ Hey Oxy.”

“ Yes Penelope?”

Penelope: I'm curious--do you clean with the power of Oxygen? Do you make whites whiter? Do you make brights brighter? If I call now, will you triple my offer? No hassle?

“ What would you say if I told you that Bijou liked you?”

Upon those words, Oxnard shrieked and dove to the ground like an air raid had gone off, there he lay, shivering pathetically.

Ouch, man. And with Bijou watching and everything...

“Oh you have got to be frickin' kidding me!”, Penelope shouted in frustration, “ Oxnard, get up, you're embarrassing yourself!”. But the shivering hamster did not move. In a fever of impatience , Penelope jumped up in a shout, “ I SAID GET UP , LITTLE MAN!”, and in the heated exasperation, she field goal kicked Oxnard in the ass, flinging him straight over to the girls.

Nice leg. Maybe she should take over kicking duties for the San Diego Chargers.

Penelope's eyes hung wide open, the she giggled, merely declaring, “oops!”.

Hahaha, that wacky Penelope. What innocent bystander will she brutalize next?

The girls looked down at the “Amazing Flying Oxnard” that had landed before them, now he was sitting, looking at Bijou, and shaking in a nervous fear.

Bijou smiled and gently caressed Oxnard's face with her gentle paw,” Please don't be afraid of me Oxnard.”

It's not you he's afraid of, Bijou, it's your vagina. And all the horrors that it represents. Don't take it personally.

Bijou's touch had apparently relaxed Oxnard somewhat, and after he worked up the courage, he finally said, “ So what Penelope told me…….was……true?”

Bijou nodded softly, while blushing deeply,

Oxnard: So...you ARE a Holocaust-denying slave trader?

Bijou: W-what?! Penelope! What the blue hell did you tell him?!

then she said, “ If you're not interested…..I understand.”

Bijou's list of plan Bs is sixteen pages and seventy-four names long. There's bound to be someone desperate enough to fuck a six inch tall rodent SOMEWHERE on there.

“ No Bijou,” Oxnard began, “ I am ….uh..interested…Because you see…well….I have always..ahem…..uh… liked you.”

Pashmina and Sandy giggled, making Oxnard feel embarrassed, but Bijou simply pulled Oxnard close, her arms about his neck and said softly, “ Just ignore them”. Then she smiled and kissed Oxnard gently.

A hamster's mouth looks like this:



If any of you folks have an inkling of how these two can kiss, then you clearly know something that I do not.

Oxnard was justifiably nervous, but after a few moments, he got into and kissed her back, pulling her into a deep embrace.

“ Awwww,” Pashmina and Sandy said in unison as the two ham-hams shared their first experience of love and passion.

...I-I guess that they're just gonna...w-watch.

“ So…Will you accept me as--” Bijou stared to say.

“ I would be honored if you would be my mate.”, Oxnard said.

Bijou smiled, and then kissed Oxnard again, this time a French kiss.

It's funny because Bijou's Italian, or something...

“ Should we leave you two alone?” Pashmina asked.

“ No,” Bijou blushed,

Bijou: By all means. Keep standing there and watch while I engage in carnal relations with Oxnard. "Should we leave you two alone--" yes, for Christ's sake! Fucking lookey-loos!

“ We're going to wait till later tonight, when our humans have gone to sleep.”

“ Ok….hey…..where's Penelope?” Pashmina said, looking around.

Penelope grinned, for when she had kicked Oxnard over to the others, she saw Hamtaro off in the distance, now she was hiding behind some leaves, following Hamtaro, and she giggled quietly as she thought to herself, “ Now, I'm gonna make that boy mine!”

I'm spending my weekend reading about non-consensual hamster sex. Gosh, a realization like that should really make me want to evaluate what I'm doing with my life.

...

Nah, I'm pretty comfortable with who I am.

“ Tikitiki, Tikitiki” Hamtaro said as he walked along, simply admiring the beautiful sunny day, until of course, he was pounced on from behind.

Instinctively, he soiled himself, hoping to drive away whatever predator was trying to make him a meal. Unfortunately, all he succeeded in doing was ruining any chance he would ever have at getting laid.

Hamtaro went tumbling and fell flat on his stomach, and behind him, he heard a mischievous giggle. Hamtaro sat up and turned to see Penelope. “ Hey, what was that for?”

Having discovered what a euphoric sensation it is to inflict bodily harm on another after her unwarranted assault on Oxnard, Penelope has now set out to injure every single person she knows. Hamtaro was just the luck of the draw, poor bastard.

Penelope simply pushed Hamtaro down on his back and straddled him, then removed her blanket for the first time. Her light tan fur seemed to shine in the sunlight . She smiled as she fluffed her fur, then grinned seductively down at Hamtaro, caressing his chest.

Holy shit, this is hot. And to think, I've been wasting all my time having sex when I could have been reading about a pair of small rodents having fucking in anatomically-impossible ways!

“ I don't know what's going on but I don't think it should be!” Hamtaro said nervously.

“ Oh be quite you silly boy,” Penelope said while licking his neck, “ Besides…..your body seems to disagree with you”, Penelope grinned, looking down at him.

“ I uhh, umm”, Hamtaro stuttered.

“ Oh come on. Stop the innocent act Hamtaro. I know you want me, your body doesn't lie…

Or at least, his hips don't.

..Now touch me.” Penelope said, while gently rubbing her body up and down his, trying to entice him.

Poor dope, all she's gonna do is create one hell of a static discharge...

“ No I can't”, Hamtaro said.

Penelope looked down and saw the frightened hamster, she sighed, then got off, “ Fine!”, she shouted, “ Then act like a child for all your life, “

This from the girl who wears a blanket over her head.

Then walked away from Hamtaro and sat down, her back turned to him, crying.

Hamtaro, feeling guilty….and regretful, he felt a strange enjoyment of what Penelope had tried to do, but he didn't know what it was, so he tried to resist, and had hurt Penelope's feelings in the process.

Hey, at least they got the tears and regret out of the way early. This is the most efficient sex ever.

“ I'm sorry Penelope,” Hamtaro said, walking to her.

“ Go away….” Penelope said, still crying.

“ Please, I'm really sorry!” Hamtaro pleased.

Nuh-uh, Hamtaro. Nothing short of playing ham-Peter Gabriel on a ham-boombox is gonna pull your ham-buns out of the ham-fire.

Anyone else want some ham?

“ No, I'm sorry……I tried to force you to do something you didn't want to.” Penelope said.

“ It's not that I didn't……I was just…..surprised”, Hamtaro replied.

“ What are you talking about?”

“ I didn't know what you wanted to do….But …..I admit I kinda liked it……though I had no clue what it was.”

So remember folks: There's no such thing as rape, only partners who don't understand what you're trying to do. Once they figure it out, they'll be nice and complicit, even willing.

Penelope turned to Hamtaro and said, “ I wanted to mate with you…”

Hamtaro blinked, still confused, but he figured he sort of like it anyway, and he didn't want to make Penelope upset, so he said, “ You can.”

Little does he know what he's getting himself into. Penelope's a backdoor girl, and she ain't thinkin' about her backdoor...

Penelope giggled, blushing a little, then gently laid Hamtaro on his back this time, straddling him again, and gently eased her pussy onto his ham cock ( I need help)

Yeah, and Bee dresses like a bumblebee. Good lord.

and she moaned gently which soon intensified to a loud moan, with a cringe of pain as her hymen broke. Soon the pain eased and she began to ride him slowly, and they gently moaned to together. Penelope then took Hamtaro's paws and put them to her breasts.

All six of them. Hamtaro is one multitalented little dude.

Soon she began to go harder and faster, bouncing up and down on Hamtaro's cock, screaming his name in pleasure as Hamtaro lay back, moaning loudly in deep pleasure, never before had he felt a sensation as wonderful as this.

If we have to read about ham-spooge, I'm going to kill myself.

Soon Hamtaro got the idea and raised himself up, then pushed Penelope on her back and spread her legs. Penelope smiled and blushed in a pleasant surprise. Hamtaro began to pound his cock in and out of her , going in deeper, and as hard as he could go.

Which wasn't very far, considering Hamtaro is hung like...well...a hamster.

Penelope writhed beneath Hamtaro and arched her back, moaning with delight. Hamtaro continued to go faster and deeper, as Penelope clung to him, her paws raking down his back

Hamtaro: Fucking OUCH! Did you forget that we have claws, you stupid shortbus bitch?! Man, I'm done with you; go lacerate some other poor bastard.

and her hind legs wrapped around his waist as she whimpered in the pleasure of this heated passion.

Space Ghost: And they came hard against each other as they both screamed in ecstasy. Then, after it had ended, Penelope fell limply into Hamtaro's arms, spent, and thoroughly exhausted, which was mutual with Hamtaro. Then they slept together in each other's arms in the field after their erotic experience.

An erotic experience which they soon agreed to never speak of again. Aw, they think they're people. <3

*****

The story grows increasingly more depraved. Just wait until we get to the infamous hamster threesome scene.

If only I were joking.

If only.

This post has been edited by Al_Cone: Mar 2 2011, 09:54 PM

[Badass Overlord]

Holy SHIT. That was disturbing.

Also, was that Space Ghost part something the author seriously put in, or did you just forget to bold it? Cause I read that in his voice and cracked up.

[Al_Cone]

Holy SHIT. That was disturbing.

Also, was that Space Ghost part something the author seriously put in, or did you just forget to bold it? Cause I read that in his voice and cracked up.

No, that's in there...

[Soren Highwind]

Well that was disturbing.

[Badass Overlord]

No, that's in there...

Wat.

[The Chosen]

What, is Space Ghost reading the story now?

Batman: Why would you randomly insert some unrelated character's name in there? It makes no sense, even for this fic!

This post has been edited by The Chosen: Dec 5 2010, 08:41 PM

[Yaoi Huntress Earth]

I can't even read this. Hamtaro is cute, gentle show that the though of this fic scares me.

[Projectkulu]

Let me just say that this fic is so bad that it ruined my childhood twice and makes me want to work on a new mock, which I will.

[shiroamasa]

Not as disturbing as the Boss x Bijou rape fic I read.

[Al_Cone]

Not as disturbing as the Boss x Bijou rape fic I read.

I really hope we're thinking of the same one, because I cannot stand the thought of there being more than one story of that type.

[Waffleman]

If you ever find yourself typing "I need help" in an author's note, it's time for you to step away from the keyboard, take a deep breath, and think about what you're doing with your life.

Also, humans are the only mammals that fuck facing each other. Hamsters don't do that. It would be relatively acceptable if they were anthropomorphized furries, but these are normal-ass talkin' hamsters.

[Al_Cone]

Finding anything about this story arousing is like watching a cinderblock for six hours to get an erection. I have no idea how anybody could find anything sexy in Mating Season, much less why anybody would want to cater to that obviously razor-thin demographic by writing something like this. Was there just not enough bad furry porn on the internet in 2003? Was this story really, really needed?

Deep thoughts to ponder as we read the next chapter, which makes the one we just witnessed look like a fun-filled stroll through Tranquility Lane. And such a stroll typically includes a little boy in a mask knifing everybody to death, so try and understand the context I'm establishing here.

******

Pashmina was walking along the trail to the clubhouse, her mind was plagued with desire, desire for the ham-ham that she had not until recently seen the true charm to him, but it was most likely due to her new senses of maturity, or perhaps it was just some weird co-incidence.

Or perhaps she was simply too lost trying to navigate that nonsensical run-on sentence that she couldn't think clearly.

“ So tell us who you want to be with!”, Penelope said, finally she had abandoned that absurd blanket for good.

You know, we've done such a good job of distancing Penelope rom the character in the show that I don't see why we don't just start calling her something more suitable. Like, I don't know, Nymphoham Anal Leakage.

“ I don't know if I'm ready yet…” Pashmina said.

( NOTE: We interrupt this pointless fic to bring you a stupid idea I JUST came up with after seeing John Boorman's “Deliverance” for the first time.)

It's hard to maintain an interest in a story when the person behind it gets so bored that he actually has to come up with random interludes just to keep himself awake.

“ We're gonna make you squeal like a guinea pig! Ain't we cappy? We're gonna make this ham-ham squeal like a pig!”, Howdy shouted, while holding Stan down, his private areas exposed.

Wow. I didn't actually think that we could sink any lower after the last chapter, but damn. Here it is. Hamster sodomy.

Plagiarized hamster sodomy, no less. This is some Dakari-King Mykan shit right here, if Dakari-King Mykan were a sexually-depraved madman.

“ SQUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAL like a guinea pig!”, Cappy shrieked as Howdy entered Stan ( You know what way, I'm not sayin' it ya pervs.)

Coming from somebody who's writing a multi-chapter epic about the joys of hamster orgies, being called a "pervert" means absolutely nothing to me.

( Well how bout that. I'm certifiably insane.

Charles Manson thinks this bitch is out of his androgynous mind.

Ahem, well, back to the fic.)

“ Aw cmon Pashmina! We won't laugh!”, Sandy said with a smile.

“…………Promise?”, Pashimina said slowly.

“ Of course”, Bijou said, as Oxnard caressed her fur gently.

Pretty surprising that Oxnard can maintain his composure around Bijou, seeing as in the last chapter he was one caress away from accidentally painting the clubhouse walls white.

“ Well…..It's Boss.”, Pashmina said, in almost a whisper.

“ BOSS?!?!?!?!” The girls shouted, “ WHY BOSS?!?!?!”

They're not so much amused by Pashmina's choice in menhams as they are horrified.

Pashmina blushed and said, “ I don't know…I just find him so….rugged…handsome…..strong….independent…..smart…..and I think I would feel safe with him.”

I would have some genuine reservations about marrying somebody who insists on carrying a shovel everywhere they go, but hey, maybe Pashmina likes 'em batshit.

“ Well, actually, those are pretty good reasons, Pashy”, Penelope said, “ Ok, so I'll let you know how to get him… but…..you're gonna have to make your human think you ran away for the night.”

Penelope lecturing the cast about sexuality makes as much sense as a five-year-old with cerebral palsy teaching string theory.

“ I would run away forever, for Boss.” , Pashmina said

“ Ok then”, Penelope said.

LATER THAT NIGHT

Tired, cold, alone and afraid, Pashmina stumbled through the black wastes of Japan, bleakly realizing just how slim her chances for survival were. As her last ounce of strength left her and she collapsed on the ground, she could only reflect on what a stupid thing it was for a fully domesticated hamster to run away from the only source of food, water and shelter that she had ever known.

Boss slowly walked into the clubhouse, finally having finished harvesting the sunflower seeds for the winter, when to his surprise, he saw Pashmina

“ Uh, shouldn't you be home now Pashmina? Your human will be worried.”, Boss said.

“ That's not important now Boss..”, Pashmina said softly, “ I know you are distraught over Bijou picking Oxnard”

Smart move; trying to batter his self-esteem so that he'll be more willing to sleep with someone as repulsive as Pashmina. Penelope really knows her stuff.

“ Well, I was at first….. But I think I'm over it. After all… a big..unattractive field ham isn't the kinda guy who gets a pretty ham girl.”, Boss replied.

“ Your wrong Boss…”, Pashmina said gently, “ I think your handsome, nice…and strong”.

Boss began to blush a little, “ heh……..You're kiddin' right?”

“ No Boss….I would never joke about something like this.”, Pashmina said, then untied her favorite pink scarf and tossed it aside as if it were a dirty rag. Though few hamsters wore ANY type of clothing, Pashmina seemed so indecent at the moment, so naked, regardless of her fur.


“ Eh, Pashmina, what are you doing?”, Boss asked.

Apparently, Pashmina had forgotten in the heat of the moment that scarf or no scarf, she was already a naked rodent.

Amusingly enough, though, Boss remembered.


“ Boss, I need you….. Please…. Take me as your mate.”, Pashmina pleaded.

“ Look Pashmina, it's a little late for jokes.”, Boss said.

Looks like SOMEBODY doesn't watch Letterman.

“ Boss, I swear to you I'm not joking around…. I want to be your mate….”, Pashmina said, then looked down to the ground sadly, “ You don't know what this has been like for me…Watching you stride about the field with your strong body….

Pashmina: But once I kill you and harvest your musculature...that strong body will be MINE!!! And MINE alone!!!

All the while, me wanting to tell you……….I……I'm sorry….. I must seem like a real slut…”

“ No Pashmina, I don't think your slut. I…….I think I'm attracted to you to….and I will be your mate….but before I do…make sure you want this..”, Boss said.

Boss: The last bitch who tried this with me went in with a lot of expectations, left with all of them waaaaay way unmet. So before we do anything, let's just make sure there are no illusions about me being anything resembling a sexual dynamo.

Pashmina smiled and replied, “ Yes…..I'm sure.” Pashmina said while getting down her knees and paws. Boss almost instantaneously became hard,

The sudden bloodflow to his penis triggering a massive heart attack. Within seconds, Boss was dead, and Pashmina was left wondering if his erection would sustain itself long enough for a quickie.

and approached Pashmina slowly and gripped firmly onto her backside, gently squeezing her ass. Slowly, Boss guided his cock into Pashmina's virgin vagina, breaking her hymen, and causing her to bleed and let out a yelp of half pain and half pleasure.

You know, back in my days as a bartender, I used to make a killer drink out of equal parts pain and pleasure. It involved simultaneously bleeding a guy's wrists while whacking him off.

It was a tough period in my life.

Boss began to pump his erect member in and out of her as Pashmina whimpered in pleasure, and pushed back against him, her ass pressing up against his stomach.

Either Pashmina is so skilled a contortionist that she is able to warp the laws of reality to suit her sexual needs, or Magne_Hyakkulegger has absolutely no clue how sex works for humans, much less hamsters.

Boss winced in the pleasure and began to go harder as Pashmina moaned his name over and over loudly ( And still, none of this woke Snoozer.).

Which is for the best, really, since the sight of Boss and Pashmina engaging in ham-fornication would send his right-wing conservative ham-blood boiling.

In the heat of passion, Boss threw his arms around Pashmina and caressed her breasts, while pounding his cock in and out of her. Soon Pashmina came, lubricating Boss's cock with her fluids.

Pashmina's vaginal secretions were made up almost entirely of turpentine. This was far less pleasurable for Boss than he was hoping.

Boss screamed in ecstasy and came hard against Pashmina, splattering his cum inside her.

And the night concluded, Pashmina deciding to abandon her human and live with Boss as his mate.

Apparently failing to consider the idea that she would be ripping her owner's fragile little girl heart asunder so that she could live a life of boundless hedonism with an uptight loner who insists on being called "Boss." I think the years of wearing that scarf wound so tightly around her neck might have cut off long-term oxygen flow and killed trillions of brain cells. It's the only explanation for Pashmina's irrational thought process.

In the next chapter of Hamtaro Mating Season, The tale of Oxnard and Bijou's rendezvous is told, and many more chapters will follow!

And remember: If you derived any sort of sexual pleasure from this, you will go to Hell. Sailor Moon says! *giggle!*

[Badass Overlord]

Deep thoughts to ponder as we read the next chapter, which makes the one we just witnessed look like a fun-filled stroll through Tranquility Lane. And such a stroll typically includes a little boy in a mask knifing everybody to death, so try and understand the context I'm establishing here.

Or summoning about 20 Chinese Communists to shoot everyone to death. Either way, this thing terrifies me.

[Viashino_wizard]

Also, humans are the only mammals that fuck facing each other.

So do bonobos and a certain species of parrot, which even lock lips beaks. The parrots vomit in each others mouths while they do it, but still.

[Waffleman]

So do bonobos and a certain species of parrot, which even lock lips beaks. The parrots vomit in each others mouths while they do it, but still.

Well of course bonobos. They're the sluts of the animal kingdom.

[Max-Vader]

Plagiarized hamster sodomy, no less. This is some Dakari-King Mykan shit right here, if Dakari-King Mykan were a sexually-depraved madman.

Uh, Dakari-King Mykan IS a sexually-depraved madman.

Anyway, the mock was hilarious. The fanfic itself? Godawful.

[SirMax]

Wow, that was like the Family Guy of depraved furry sex fanfic for a second. "This reminds me of that one time Stan got raped by a southerner!"

Great mock.

[Al_Cone]

Now imagine them having sex.

[TigerEyes]

"Would you look at that, I haven't checked out the Fanfiction Mockeries section for a while. Oh look, NTL updated, yeesh... But, I must read it for the mock. Oh, OK, Al wrote another really good chapter. Phew, that was a close one. That was pretty awesome, let's see what else is here... Oh. "Hamtaro: Mating Season". Well, THAT title can't be good. Let's click on it...

...

...

!!!

WHY DOES THE INTERNET EVEN EXIST?!?!?!"

Also, that theme song is stuck in my head now.

This post has been edited by TigerEyes: Dec 10 2010, 01:37 PM

[T_K_17]

Now imagine them having sex.

Is it just me or does it sound like it was sung by the kids from South Park?