Mykan is all the rage here at Project AFTER, so I decided to start what hopefully will be a long-running series of MSTs with a Mykan fanfic. I originally had Things Change and The End planned, but unfortunately, Lizard Man already made a far superior MST (I may release my take in the near future, though). So instead, I went for Some Things Never Change: A musical where Beast Boy, after being rejected by the traitor Terra, goes emo and leaves the team

Wait... You've heard that one before? Well, in STNC, Mykan has Beast Boy go to the scientist's house and turn into a real boy, where he proceeds to become a Gary Stu, who excels at everything, except finding his true love (Anyone else finding Sonichu parallels?) Be sure to tell me whether my MST is good or not

Author's Notes:
(For those of you who don't know Copy-Cat… its because I made him up myself… the details are all in my first Teen Titan fic.)

Good job reminding me of another one of your horrible fanfics.

CHAPTER ONE
"TITANS… GO!!"

Slade had been causing trouble in town again, and it was up to the titans to get him.

You would have said: "Mykan, Stop starting your fanfics with Slade causing trouble"

They had chased him all the way into a construction-zone and split up to search for him.
"I know you're here Slade." said Robin. "Why don't you come out and fight fair."

"I mean, it's not like you're a villian or anything, and thus would fight unfairly"

"Should I really make it that easy for you Robin."

Considering that as MST after MST has shown that in Mykan's little world, the Titans have the collective intelligence of a box of rocks, maybe you should.

Slade hissed. "But you are right

Wait... What? You just mocked the Titans, then agreed with them!

… I shall come out… HERE!!" he leapt out from above straight for Robin, but then…
WHAMM!! He got zapped by Starfire's bolts. "Husband, are you all right?"

Here's what surprisingly few people (at least from what I've read) seem to catch in their MSTs: The marriage. I find it ironic that Mykan does not approve of alcohol, pornography, drugs, smoking, and sex, but teen marriage is just fine with him. I would ask for consistency, but I fear that I would be asking too much of Mykan.

she asked.
Robin shot her a smile and a thumbs-up.

Mentos: The Freshmaker!

Then he turned back to face Slade. "Tut, tut, tut Robin… always letting you little wife

Well that put some horrifying mental images in my mind. Thanks, Mykan!


fight your battles for you." he hissed.

Why does Slade always hiss anyway?

Robin withdrew his steel quarter-staff. "She's not fighting for me… she's fighting with me."

Well, that's what happens when you marry someone in a Mykan fanfic: No one is happy

The rest of the Titans hopped out from their hiding places. "And that goes for the rest of us too." growled Cyborg.

I hope Mykan knows that he accidentially made it seem like Robin and Starfire hate each other... Oh, screw it. Hope should not be mentioned when he's involved.

Beast Boy and Terra stood hand-in-hand. "Dude, give us back those wedding plans." snapped Beast Boy.

"It took me 5 hours in MS Paint!"

Terra nodded in agreement.

Good job at making Terra just channel Beast Boy's every thought, thus depriving her of any significant character development that she gained in "Things Change"

"Beast Boy and I worked long and hard on them." she said fiercely as her other first began to glow and a few rocks stood up.

"Ah yes… the wedding plans for your little celebration tomorrow." Slade hissed as he looked at the box of valuable folders he had stolen. "You want them back so badly… here they are."

"... Wow. What a swell guy. I can't believe he's more likable than us!"

The titans all charged forward. Robin and star missed their shots and Slade flipped Cyborg up over his head and out of the way. "Childish fools." he hissed… but he spoke too soon.

Beast Boy changed into a Rhino and whammed him hard in the chest

Wham is not a verb

while he wasn't watching. Slade got knocked back into a wall and the files all went flying, but Raven used her power to grab them all safely.

"Good catch." said Terra.
Raven smiled a bit. "Thanks."
She Gave Terra back the wedding plans and then they both rushed into the battle.

Slade had shoved Beast Boy off his feet, and then… e looked up just in time to see Copy-Cat swing his Wolverine Claws right for him.

Now wait a minute. In a later fanfic (The abominable Things Change and the End to be exact), he called them X-Men claws. You mean he forgot that the rest of the X-Men don't have claws?

Slade quickly ducked and Copy Cat's claws got stuck in the rocks.

Wolverine's claws do not work that way

He pulled and grunted trying to pull himself free. "GRR… Curse this claws!" he growled.

And this all could have been avoided if he wasn't an ugly furry Gary Stu Alien thing.

"My, my, my… the poor cat got his own tongue." mocked Slade.

I wonder how long it took Mykan to think that one up.

He with drew his own fighting-staff and began walking toward Copy Cat who just couldn't pull himself out.

But before Slade could attack, Terra crumpled the rocks around Copy-Cat's claws freeing him quick as Raven began to power up.

"Azarath… Metrione… ZINTHOS!!"

She used her power to send more boulders crashing down onto Slade, but Slade just leapt up and hid himself in the huge dust cloud Raven had made with the Avalanche.

Mykan's grasp on terms for natural disasters, folks! (Here's a hint: Avalanches tend to involve snow)

"I can hide from you titans anywhere at anytime."

"Oh no you cannot." said Copy-Cat as he leapt into the dust. "My Psychic Foresight Super Deus Ex Machina powers
shall lead me to wherever you are."

For awhile the dust didn't seem to settle… so Beast Boy changed into a Vulture and flapped his wings to blow the dust away.
Vultures do not work that way

Everyone was most shocked.

"Beast Boy doing something a Mykan fanfic other than complaining?"

Copy-Cat was there… but Slade was gone.

Well, when your team is as dumb as Mykan's Titans, that happens all the time.

"Yo man… he got away again!!" growled Cyborg. He punched the ground angrily "I hate it when he gets away like this."

"Take it easy, Cyborg."

"Don't let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy, Cyborg!"

said Robin. "At least we got the plans back. So we can drop them off on the way back to the tower."

"Yeah… lighten up, dude." said Beast Boy. "After all, you know what night this is?"

"Ladies' night at the local bar?"
"Damn right!"

This was Beast Boy and Terra's last night of being single…. That's right… they were going to tie the knot the next day.

SINGLE? SINGLE? You never cease to amaze me with your sheer idiocy, Mykan. Single means "not dating anyone". What you likely mean is "About to be married"

Ever since Beast Boy had proposed to Terra on Copy-Cat's home planet, Psyconia. The Titans had been real busy planning the wedding.

Tonight, being their last nights before the big ceremony, the titans planned to celebrate. The girls planned to go out, and so did the boys.
…
Terra, Starfire… and even Raven went around quite a bit.
They even went to a strip bar,

Zomg! Evil Porn!

and Terra was asked to dance on stage with the men and even join in the band playing. She did learn how to playa

Well, you do have to keep your pimp hand strong.

pretty mean Bass Guitar while she was in school… with her amnesia.

All it takes for musical greatness is the power.... of amnesia!

Starfire giggled, as she did the twist with some other dancers. "Hmm, mm, mm… I believe I am having a night of my greatest time."

Here's another problem with Mykan's fanfics: I know Starfire is not very good with the English language, but this is a stretch.

she said. "And Raven… you are enjoying this too."
"Sure… whatever." Raven simply said.

Actually, she just sat in the dark corners chatting to a Goth-man who thought she was cute, but Raven was already Copy-Cat's girlfriend

UGH!

, and she wasn't open for the taking guys off the street.

Alien Furries, on the other hand...

Across town…
The boys sure were rocking it up too

Like Totally Radical, Dude!

at another Jazz-bar clean on the other side of town so Terra and Beast Boy wouldn't see each other.

Copy-Cat even found the way Earthmen partied to be somewhat amusing.

Nothing in this fanfic is amusing

Sadly… the Jazz band had a few problems. Their Main singer got delayed, and couldn't make it, and their piano player was sick… but Beast Boy decided not to let this happen.

So, he'll travel back in time?

He offered to play and sing himself.

At first the band was hesitant. "Does this cat here even now how to Jazz it up good?" asked one of the band-men.

"Dude, trust me." said Beast Boy. He sat himself down at the piano.

"Oh, yeah, man… play it good." said Cyborg.
Then the whole band began playing "Lullaby of Birdland" and Beast Boy began to sing with a different voice to his own. (In a Kevin Clash jazzy voice)

Why a Fucking Musical Again? Why should I read your plagarized songs?

(Beast Boy)

-Lullaby of birdland, that's what
I always hear when you sigh
Never in my woodland
Could there be words to reveal
In a phrase how I feel
-Have you ever heard two turtle doves
Bill and coo when they love
...No, but that would be more enjoyable than this fanfic

That's the kind of magic
Music we make with our lips
When we kiss
Except not, because Mykan HATES romance

-And there's a weepy ol' willow
He really knows how to cry
That's how i cry in my pillow
Mostly because Kari doesn't love Davis. BAWWWWWWWW
If you should tell me
Farewell and goodbye

-Lullaby of Birdland whisper low
kiss me sweet & we'll go
Fliyin' high in Birdland
High in the sky up above
All because we're in love

The song kept playing and everyone in the bar was really getting' in the groove.
"I got to say… Beast Boy really has a knack for all this."

"I especially liked that part when it ended"

Robin said as he passed by Cyborg in his dance walk.
"Boo'yah! You said it." said Cyborg. "Terra sure is lucky getting a guy like him… and to think they almost didn't make it."

Copy-Cat had heard those words and wonder what they meant by that. "How could Beast Boy and Terra have almost not been able to rejoice their love?"

Fortunately, Mykan was able to stop the actual writers of Teen Titans from giving character development to Beast Boy and Terra, unless you consider character development to include making the characters act completely different.

he wondered.

"It must be those dirty Takaris"

Later that night …
Beast Boy was still wide awake… too excited about his wedding tomorrow, and to Terra. His Dream Goddess… his one and only love.

It's because her character is as paper-thin as his, right (The Mykan interpretation, that is)?

The only person who seemed to like the things he liked, and even laugh at his jokes.

Wait... wasn't Terra... Uh, I don't know, A DOUBLE AGENT? Are you just going to ignore all that?

Mykan: Why yes!

He just turned on his Electrical keyboard, and keeping the volume low, he began playing a slow sad song he remembered he played long ago. A soft somber song that had a paino and String vibe.
…
Copy Cat himself was also too wide-awake to sleep. He had been wondering about what Cyborg and Robin had said about Beast Boy and Terra all night.

Well… he did know Beast Boy was still up… so he decided he had to go and ask.

As he stepped in front of Beast Boy's bedroom door, he heard the music he was playing on his keyboard, in piano-mode with strings in the background, and he could here him singing.

(Beast Boy)
-Where am I goin' I'm not knowin'
Where have I been... "good question"
Nothing feels right.
I can't even find my light...
Who am I
So blue am I
Who am I
With no clue am I...
Am I doomed to be alone...
With my aching heart, head and bones
If only it were clear,
It'd be easier to cheer...


Ohh... Who am I
Miscunstrued am I
All A-Skewed am I
Pooh-Poohed am I
I feel like a dog that's gone a stray
Someone please help me to FIND... MY... WA-A-A-AY...

Ohh who am I
in a Gary stu fic am I
Worn Through am I
Really unglued am I...


Copy Cat slowly opened the door and walked in as Beast Boy kept on playing.

Where am I goin' I'm not Knowi-i-i-i-in'

That's when Beast Boy turned and saw Copy-Cat. He stopped playing… "Ooh… sorry dude." he said in his regular voice. "Did I wake you up?"
Copy-Cat shook his head. "You did not… I was wide awake in any case."

He came in and sat down, Beast Boy told him he was just singing an old song he always had sung when he was feeling bitter and depressed.

Which happens to be... All the time.
Yet he was so excited about his wedding tomorrow, and Terra was even more excited than he was.
That's where Copy-Cat brought up the subject involving what Cyborg and Robin had said. "Beast Boy… I wish to know… what was it that happened between you and Terra?"

Beast Boy's expression changed. From all excited to looking pretty grim. "I don't think you want to know that." he said.

Copy-Cat had a feeling this was going to happen. "Beast Boy, I am your friend." he said. "But remember that I am able to read minds. So you may as well tell me what had happened because I will just find out for myself."

Beast Boy really wasn't sure. "No man… I mean it's a really long story."

"Beast Boy…" replied Copy-Cat. "I am a Psyconian… I love long stories."

"Even a 30-Chapter Mykan fic?"
"Err, Nevermind"


Beast Boy sighed. "All right… you win. So get comfy."

They got comfortable in their seats, and Beast Boy began to tell him the story… not just about him and Terra… but his entire background.

The short version: Mykan has an uninspired fight scene, an uninspired strip club scene, an uninspired jazz bar scene (with dull song), another dull song, and a horrible segue into chapter 2. Also, Copy-Cat. If I am not completely blasted by you guys, I'll have my MST of Chapter 2 up within a week.

This post has been edited by DraculaMarth: Aug 5 2010, 11:34 AM