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> FaCe ThE StRaNgE, This is the story's real title. No joke.
Post #1
shiroamasa


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post Jun 6 2010, 04:19 PM
To quote a certain Ryoga Hibiki, "I've seen hell because of you!" There are many authors who can make good or bad fics, depending on the plot, grammar, story. But this one doesn't have the slightest clue of what they are. BTW, the author put herself in the fucking story.


Presenting: Face the Strange, Chatper One.


Dally was riding the Hogwarts Express to Hogwarts with her best friend Edwart Cullen. She had just found out she was a witch and a vampire with Edward and now they were going to school to train to be better.


Hehe. "Edwart". Sounds quite fitting for him.


“Edward do you miss Bella?” I asked


Edward: BELLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAA! *sobs hysterically*


“Grr I don’t want to talk about Bella” Edward said


Why? You spent four books stalking, smothering, protecting, and even willing to DIE for her.


“Oh are you guys fighting?” I asked.


They must be, otherwise Eddie here would be making out with her right now.


“She is just being a cunt!!” he yelled “She thinks I like you… um I mean…”


WHAT. I cannot believe I'm saying this, but I agree with emo boy. Bella is really a dumb cunt.


“Why would she say that?” Dally asked.


Why? Maybe because that Bella is possibly either yandere for Ed or she just wants his sexy vampire cock.


“Um well uh”


C'mon, Eddie! Spit it out!


KNOCK KNOCK!!!

Who's there?

Shut ya.

Shut ya who?

SHUT YA FACE!



Suddenly there was a sound at the door of the trolly


Ah, the Trolly. The cousin of the Troll.


“I am going around with candy would you like to buy someone?” came the voice from the door.


STRANGERS WITH CANDY. THEY WANT YOUR PANTS TOO.



“YES COME IN” yelled Edward, he wanted a distraction.


Edward: And not a moment too soon! *grins*


The door slid open and in came a boy with big spiky black hair and black clothes and he had his arm wrapped up.


Oh, no. It can't be... It just can't be...


“My name is Hiei” he said, “I am selling these candies to pay for my trip to Hogwarts…” he showed them the tray and there were Burties Botts and Candy Frogs with cards on them.


AAAAAAAH!


Edward noticed that Dally was staring at Hiei and growled “We aren’t interested go away.”


Ooh, I sense jealousy in the air.


“Oh okay” Hiei said “WAIT”


What, so that Kurama can come and see you cheating on him? dry.gif


“I am would like to buy some Buties Botts!” said Dally enthusiastically and smiling. She reached for some and touched hands with Hiei… Edwad grred.


Edward: *thinking* I'm grring. And I'm super jealous of that Hiei dude...


“Oh um well… that will be… okay well it is free for you!” Hiei said he was flustered because he touched hands with Dally. He thought she was very cute.


Hiei: *Thinking* Fuck Kurama. He can go and screw Haruka Tenoh from Sailor Moon for all I care. This girl is MINE.


“THANK YOU!” said Dally.


Yes, Thank you for giving me candy, Mr. Fire Demon!


Hiei left and Dally began to ate the beans.


Are they Mexican jumping beans or are they beans that make you toot?


“So do you like that guy?” Edward asked.


Dally: Who I like is none of your fucking business, OK? *glares at Edward*


“Of course, he gave me free food! He is very nice” Dally said happy.


Hiei? NICE? OH MY GOD THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END!



Suddenly they arrived at Hogwarts and uncame from the train.


And now, we've entered into Harry Potter territory.


They were greeted by a big wizard with a long white bear and a pointy hat and he said, “Come students, follow me to the great hall and we will eat and get you sorted!”


Sorted or Stoned? I read that as stoned, folks.


Dally and Edward got into a boat and went into the Great Hall with Dumbeldore. They sat down at a table coincidentally right next to there friend from the ship Hiei! Dally was also sitting next to a black and red hedgehog.


SHADOW? OH GOD NO.


“My name is Shadow” said the hedgehog.


My reaction to this.


Edward began to grr again. “Why are you all talking to Dally he said?


Damn it, Edward. Why must you be so protective for every girl you fall in love with?


“Calm down…” said Dally “He is my best friend, he gets a little territorial sometimes.”


Dally: *to Edward* Now behave, or I'll tell Rosalie you stole her lipstick.


“Oh okay” said Shadow.


Nice save, Dally. Too bad it won't save this story.


“Aight!” said Dumbledore “I will now sort you into the hat”


And how the fuck are you going to do that? Chopping them up into little pieces?


One by on each of the students (and hedgemice because there are some sonic characters) came up to the sorting hat. It told poems for the houses: there is Gryffindor, Huffelpuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin.


Hedgemice? THAT'S NOT EVEN A REAL WORD.


“Edward Cullen…..” said the hat, “SLYTHERING!”


Edward: HISSSSS! *glares at the hat*


Edward put on a silver and green scarf and sat down a table at the end. He winked at Delly as if to say “Come to my house or I'll rape you!


“Shadow…. SLYTHERIN!”


Yeeeah. Shadow's gonna learn magic and kill us all.


Shadow put on a silver and green scarf and sat down next to Edward. “Gee I hope she gets Slytherin” thought Shadow.


EWWWWWWW!


“Hiei….. SLYTHERIN!”


Ya know, I have the feeling that the author is putting them in the same class just to create a yaoi harem. dry.gif


Hiei put on a silver and green scarf and sat down next to Shadow and Edward. He could not stop grazing at Dally…


Hiei: She's beautiful... More beautiful than what-his-name...


Now it was Dally’s turn. “DALLY” called the hat. She was beckoned and so went up. The boys did a drumroll with their feet.


OH, KNOCK IT OFF, YOU HORNDOGS!


“RAVENCLAW!”


All 3: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!


Dally’s face fell off.. she could not believe it! The boys looked so disappointed. She sadly put on he black and blue scarf and sat at a table with a group of strangers…


Poor Dally... Better luck next time, huh?


Lucky she found her friends Charla, Annie and Meagan at her table! “Hey guys I didn’t know you were witches!”


Wait a minute, who are THEY? I didn't see them at the beginning!



“Yes we are we just found out this summer” said Meagan. “I cant believe we are in the same house!”


Good grief. I can smell Mary Sue all over this.


So there was good news after all. They began to head back to there home rooms when Hiei stopped Dally in the hall.


And what the fuck are you going to tell Yukina about this, Hiei?


“Listen Dally I want to tell you something” said Hiei “I like you.”


Kurama: NOOOOOOOOO! HOW COULD YOU, HIEI?!


“I like you too Hieie” she said softly.


AND SHE MISSPELLED HIS NAME!


Then he kissed her and their lips met, like fire.


My reaction to this atrocity.


“Ok ok that’s enough” said a voice. It was Proffessor Umbrudge the defense against dark arts teacher, “Go to your rooms”


THANK YOU, UMBRIDGE! YOU'RE ONE OF THE GOOD COCK BLOCKS!


“I’ll see you tomorrow” said Hiei and kissed her again


Charile Brown: AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!


“I SAID ENOUGH GOD DAMMIT” shouted the Proffessor


LISTEN TO THE MAN! NO MORE KISSING! mad.gif


“Bye!” said Dally


Dally: Cocksucker.


They left and from the darkness two eyes watched. IT was Edward he was mad….


Ooh, creepy...


And this story was written in DeviantArt. By a YAOI FANGIRL. The links, btw, contain production music from Ren & Stimpy. I hope you've enjoyed this story as much as I certainly didn't.

This post has been edited by shiroamasa: Jun 6 2010, 04:27 PM


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post Jun 6 2010, 04:24 PM
I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over all the screaming I was doing once I saw "Hiei".


--------------------
Like the moon over
the day, my genius and brawn
are lost on these fools.
~haiku


Angel of music sings, I pull the strings like Gendo
I control your every move, like buttons on Nintendo


RAWR!
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post Jun 6 2010, 04:37 PM
So...according to all the grrs, Edward's a bear? What is Hogwarts coming to?!


--------------------
"That Ms. Paint is one classy Prospitian lady. She is the model of grace and beauty. I am always a bit flustered in her presence, especially when she carries her little pail around like that.

Whereas THIS lazy sack of crap here makes me sick to my stomach.

Cal, God damn it. We were all supposed to dress up for this. It doesn't look like you even touched that nice suit I sewed for you, let alone swapped your eyes with those billiard balls and make them alternate rapidly.

This insubordination is putting me in a foul mood. It's bad enough I just had to take Falcor out behind the woodshed and blow his brains out after he caught the rabies."


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post Jun 6 2010, 04:39 PM
Maybe he just ate a bear and it didn't settle well in his stomach.

Also, in the meantime, I think I'm gonna try to write a more IC version of Hiei's appearance, showing just how much the author fails at life.


This post has been edited by Kuramastrassx3: Jun 6 2010, 04:40 PM


--------------------
Like the moon over
the day, my genius and brawn
are lost on these fools.
~haiku


Angel of music sings, I pull the strings like Gendo
I control your every move, like buttons on Nintendo


RAWR!
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post Jun 6 2010, 08:16 PM
Hey, speaking of bears...

QUOTE
They were greeted by a big wizard with a long white bear

...why is there a polar bear at Hogwarts? And why is it so long? Is it Longcat's cousin, Longbear?


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shiroamasa


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post Jun 11 2010, 07:23 AM
Hey guys... I'm back. And guess what? I found out that Dally has made made about 16-17 chapters of this story. Isn't that great? dry.gif

Here's the 2nd chapter.



Dally sat in the common room or Ravenpaw sketching a picture of Hiei and thinking of his kiss. Suddenly se looks up at the fire in front of her and a face appeared!! The fire turned blue like water but it was fire and the eyes wee yellow.


Right... FIRE DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!


“hello” said the fire


IT TALKS.


“Mom?” asked Dally


"Mom"? blink.gif


Jut then Mystique came out of the fire she was naked but she didn’t have nipples.


OH GOD NO. NO.


“now that you are a wizad I can give you my powers” said mystique. She handed me an orb and suddenly the room turned colors


DOES NOT COMPUTE


“AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH” screamed Della. She was in a lot of pain and sufferage.


"Sufferage". Is that a combination of rage and suffering?


Then mystique disappeared leaving dally with a belt with an X on it. She was now a mutant.


DALLY IS NOW A PART OF THE X-MEN. GREAT.


Dally could feel a new rush hour of power in her organs. She tried it out and turned into a bat! “Well I could already do that cuz I’m a vampire lol” she thought to herself, so ten she tried it out again and turned into a a demon chaos chao! A little spiky ball was above her head.


A vampire and a mutant! And now she's a demon? This story gets better and better.


“oh my fucking christ” she said, “I can turn into whatever I want with mustiques powers!”


Yes, now why don't you turn into a bomb and blow your yourself up. dry.gif


She pulled out her blackberry and txted hiei, “HIEI I AM A CHAO” he came right over.


"And I'm also a brainless bitch who is a GOD MODDING SUE!" She added.


She turned back tho because it would be creepy if they kissed and he said it was really cool!! He wanted the powers too so he asked the fire “can you give me those powers too?”


WHAT? HIEI ALREADY HAS KICK-ASS POWERS! HE CAN SHOOT BLACK FLAMES FROM HIS FUCKING ARM! WHY IN GOD'S NAME WOULD HE WANT MORE POWERS?


“NO!!!” mystique showered urine on him, “You are not my dauter and therefor I cannot pass the powers onto you however if you get married you will be my sun so we can do it then”


wallbash.gif wallbash.gif wallbash.gif


“You know what this means?” Hiei said, “If we get married I can have the powers”


Where the fuck is Kurama in this?! He should be here, telling Hiei to get a grip and drag him off for some yaoi tiem.


But suddenly Dally began to think of the other guys in her life. There was Edward… he had Bella but he said something aout liking her on the trolly, and there was shadow, who looked at her like “I like you”. She loved Hiai but she liked the others…





“I don’t think so I have cold toes” said Dally and she ran away crying


Cold toes? Don't you mean, cold feet? I think the author lost her funny bone.


“NO YOU CANT LEAVE ME HERE AT THE ALTAR” shouted Hiei in upset.


"Of course I can! YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH KURAMA!" Dally wailed.


“HAHAHA” laughed mystique “YOU WILL NEVER FUCKIN GET TE POWEERS”


And then, Hiei broke down and cried like a little girl.


And then she disappeared and so did Hiei cuz hes not supposed to be in Ravencalws dorm room lol wtf was he thinking.


No, WTF were you thinking when you wrote this piece of shit?


Dalli wept quietly to herself when all of the sudden a blonde walked out of his class and aprochjed her.


Can you all guess who that blonde is?


“What’s wrong Dally?” he asked.


Yeah, what's wrong with your head, Dally?


“Who are you?” I asked.


See sentence below.


“Oh my name is Draco Malfoy...” he said “Arf you ok?”


Is Draco a dog now? "Arf you ok"? Next thing you know, he'll be busy chasing balls!


Dally looked into Drake’s eyes and saw that he cared, he was ful of compassion like a snake. The boy held out a hand and pulled up dally up. “Do you want me to walk you to your class?” he asked


And I'm not gonna even go there with the spelling. God-awful. sick.gif


“I would love that” Dally said battering her ashes. They began to walk down the hallway together when a blast came out before htem. It was Edwart!


EDWART RETURNS. DUN DUN DUN!


“DALLY!” he shouted “What are you doing with all these bois?”


"I'm trying to make a harem, douche. Get with the program or get out!" Dally snarled.


“um edward its relly none of your business now let us go to the great hall” she snipped.


Yeah, Edwart. Don't you have someone to go back to?



“IT IS DANGEROSU” he begun to raise his voice


"IT'S A TRAP!" Admiral Ackbar joined in.


Just then draco pulled out his wand and him and the vampie got into a big fight. But DUmbledumdore came and broke it up


"Dumbledumdore" is more fitting than Dumbledore. laugh.gif


“THAT’S IT” he shouted “You boys will cum in my ass and have a talk with me in my office” and they left.


So Dally had to go to the great hall by herself but then shadow came and joined her. “What is a pretty girl like you doing all b yourself in the great depression all alone?” he asked her





“well hiei is being an asshole!!” she said and cryed again. Shadow put his paw on her leg and massajed her caressing “Its okay” he said “Its okay”


Hiei, an asshole? Well, maybe. But even Hiei has his moments of kindness.


Meanwhile hiei was updates punishing walls angerly! “WHY DID I HURT HER???” he aksed himself and then he thaught of a soluble. “I will win her back” he said.


Punishing walls? My god, Why didn't Dally choose Kurama instead? Because that would piss off a certain Kurama fan-girl on this board.


Meanwhile Edward and Draco were upstairs in Dumbeldores house. They were sitting on his bed cuz he said they were out of cars.


BOW-CHICKA-BOW-CHICKA-BOW-CHICKA-BOW-WOW.


“What do you think u punishment should be?” Dubledore asked paseing around he was wearing a black t-shirt and ripped Hollister jeans that showed off his mussles. Edward grred, his sences were tingling… that something was not wrong.





Suddenly dumbeldore put his hands on bot of their legs and said “I can think of something..”


sick.gif sick.gif sick.gif sick.gif sick.gif sick.gif


“OMG you faggot!” draco screamed. He tried to run but he couldnot…..


DUN DUN DUN!


A cilffhanger... What will happen to draco? Will Hiei stop being so emo? Will Shadow commit bestiality? Find out in the 3rd chatper of... FaCe ThE StRaNgE.

This post has been edited by shiroamasa: Jun 11 2010, 07:24 AM


--------------------
"GAAAAAAAAAAME!" -HCBailly

"I'm HCBailly, and my cat is sleeping on my subwoofer." -HCBailly, playing Final Fantasy 3/6

"SURPRISE FISH!" - Deceased Crab

"Whoa, dude! Want some pizza with your brain arms?" Retsupurae, on Quadraxis14's LP of Contra 3

"How rude!" HCBailly, playing Secret of Mana.

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post Jun 11 2010, 07:33 AM
*silently weeps*


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Cor cordis
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post Jun 11 2010, 07:46 AM
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA................


I swear to god someone go stab this author.


--------------------
"That Ms. Paint is one classy Prospitian lady. She is the model of grace and beauty. I am always a bit flustered in her presence, especially when she carries her little pail around like that.

Whereas THIS lazy sack of crap here makes me sick to my stomach.

Cal, God damn it. We were all supposed to dress up for this. It doesn't look like you even touched that nice suit I sewed for you, let alone swapped your eyes with those billiard balls and make them alternate rapidly.

This insubordination is putting me in a foul mood. It's bad enough I just had to take Falcor out behind the woodshed and blow his brains out after he caught the rabies."


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shiroamasa


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post Jun 11 2010, 09:37 AM
And now, for the conclusion. TO CHAPTER 3!


Shadow and Dally were talking in the Great Hall when all of the sudden a cheetah ran in at warped speed, barreling through chairs and people in a frantic rush of hurry.


A cheetah? Is he carrying Cheetos? smile.gif


“SHADOW! DALLY!!” shouted the cheetah, suddenly it turned back into Charla (she is a anemograph and can turn into a cheetah) “SOMETHING IS GOING UPSTAIRES”


WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN


Shadow put them all on his back because he is fastest even faster than the lepoard and they ran upstairs and busted down Dumble’s door just in time to see him unzipping his genes.


HEDGEHOGS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY. ALSO, EWWWW!


“NOOO! EDWARD!” Dally shouted… she loved Edward and would never see him get hurt. She ran at Dumbledore and headbutted him. He flew back into the wall and fell into his phenix, and they both exploded into thin air.


"Phenix"? Must be slang for penis. HAHAHAHAHA.


“FUCK WE LOST THEM” exclaimed Draco, “We have to get that basterd fired from Hogywarts”


*GASP* You mean Dumbledore is a part of the Inglourious Basterds? sick.gif


The three of them mated downstairs to Professors Macnoggle’s orifice and demanded an interview. She opened the dory to her chamber and said “Come in dearest stunts! What can I ass you in?”


AND NOW THEY'RE MATING! IN FRONT OF PROF. MACNOOGLE, NO LESS! AND SHE LIKES IT IN THE ASS.


“We need to get a certain pedofile fired from this plays,” said Harry, “He tried to rape some students including me”


You have to admit, some of these spelling errors are hilarious. laugh.gif


“Oh no don’t worry thought I will have it all took care of,” she said and bamfed them out.


BAMFED THEM OUT. I CALL SHENANIGANS.


A week later a blog was posted aboot it in the bathrooms that said “A teacher has ben fired to improper actinic against a students, this teacher is Professes Umbrige”


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. GO DIE IN A FIRE.


“WAT” they all mounted in unicorns, “THEY FIRED THE WRONG TEACHER”


And I thought the faculty couldn't get any stupider nor the author.


“Wait keep reading” said Shadow, “It said more”


YES. DO GO ON.


“There is a new teacher to be hired in place of this one and his name is Jack Skeleton”.


NOT THE JACK SKELETON! OH MY GOD.


“Yay!” I said, “Professor Skeleton will know what to do! Let’s go to his class and tell him about that faggot Dumbledore.”


This won't end well. I promise you this.


They whaled over and came into his office. He was very skinny and had a skull for a head and no eyes but teeth on them.


Yup. That's Jack all right.


“Hello students, what can I halp you with?” he asserted.


Let's hope he doesn't turn into a rapist.


“Dumbledore Is gay!” blarted Edword.


Now he's EDWORD? laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif


“Well students there is nothing wrong with bean gay,” he said, “I am bisexual myself.”


Yeah. Being gay isn't bad. PEDOPHILA IS.


“No but he tried to FINGER US” said Draco, he turned blue a little because he was embarrassed. Draco is straight and it’s Adam and Steve not Adam and Steve.


Here's a new title for a movie. "Draco Got Fingered by Adam and Steve".


“OH FUCK” said Jack. They exclaimed to his the whole story and he said, “Don’t worry I will take acres of this. Just go to your rooms and sleep for tonight. Until then incest Dumbledore is not here there are no rules…”


Incest Dumbledore. "OH FUCK" is right. Dumbledore is fucking his own grandkids.


So they left and went to their rooms, except for Dally And Hiei who hung out outside where the dorm rooms started.


Hiei's gonna rape her and Dally's gonna love it. sick.gif sick.gif


“Did you hear what Proffessor Skeleton said?” Hiei asked, “I know that you are mad at me but there are no rules and maybe I can make it up to you.”


NO! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, NO!


“How would you do that?” asked Dally.


Hiei: By slicing your fucking head off.


Just then he pushed her against the Ravenclaw satellite and because to kiss her gastricly. She put her tongue in his mouth and felt his teeth. He cut his tongue on her fangs and the blood tripped down his chin… he was turned on by it and suddenly Dally felt something against her.





“Hiei is that your wand?” she asked.


OH GOD NOT THE BAD SEXUAL PUNS!


“No… that is my penis, Dally…” he said.


THANK YOU, CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!


“OMG you’re so huge! You’re like 6 inches!!” she shouted, gasping for breath.


News flash! 6 inches is NOT THAT BIG! wallbash.gif


“No I am 6 inches flassid, right now I have a bonner so I am 10 inches,” he said.


PENISES DO NOT WORK THAT WAY.


Della was at a lost for words. She was a virgin and did not know about dicks and it was her first time having a penis.


wallbash.gif I'm gonna kill her.


“Let’s go to your room,” said Hiei, “I want to have sex with you.”


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH


So he said the password and they went into Ravenclaw, and went to Dally’s bedroom. A couple Ravenclawers were like, “Dally what he is doing here??”


End END GODDAAAAMNIT EEEEEND!


but she turned Hiei into a broom with her powers as a mutant so they didn’t notice anymore. Then she unturned him back into a Hiei when they got onto her bed. They started kissing and taking their clothes of.


This is worse than that lemon fanfic I read where Goku was raping a horse back in the late 90's!


“Do you have a birth control?” asked Dally as he started to put it in.


"So that I can give birth to murderous fire demon babies!" Dally giggled.


“No… I didn’t think to bring somes.” He said frowning but he kept doing it.


HIEI YOU JACKASS.


“Hiei please I don’t want to have a baby… you can get pregnant even from your first time,” she said kissing him and moaning as he went faster and faster.


THEN STOP HAVING SEX DAMMIT.


“It will be okay… you can just use your power to turn my cum into water and then it wont be babies,” he said as he started to tittyfuck her. Her boobs were huge so they could wrap them around his weiner like bumblebees.


KILL ME NOW! C'MON, HEAD, EXPLODE! BLOW UP DAMMIT!


“That sounds like a good idea,” she said as he splurted on her neck, then flipped her over and started rubbing himself on her back, “I can also use my powers to turn stuff into kinky sex toys!!!”


"Spulrted"? I'm spulrting already. In the toliet.


So they continued… but just from the first chreptar 1, Edward was watching from the darkness… he had used his vampire powers to turn into a bat and they didn’t notice him fly in.


MEYER-PIRES DO NOT WORK THAT WAY.


HE was angry… he was tumors… he was so mad at both of them that he used his wizard powers to turn the water back into cum. He would have his revenge!!!


Good luck with that, Edword. I hope you get some booty too. IN ANOTHER FANFIC. Also, VAMPIRES CANNOT GET TUMORS.


I'm gonna stop right here, because this fic is making me want to kill something. I'll post up another chapter to mock when I'm in a better mood. See ya later.

This post has been edited by shiroamasa: Jun 11 2010, 09:38 AM


--------------------
"GAAAAAAAAAAME!" -HCBailly

"I'm HCBailly, and my cat is sleeping on my subwoofer." -HCBailly, playing Final Fantasy 3/6

"SURPRISE FISH!" - Deceased Crab

"Whoa, dude! Want some pizza with your brain arms?" Retsupurae, on Quadraxis14's LP of Contra 3

"How rude!" HCBailly, playing Secret of Mana.

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Kuramastrassx3


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post Jun 11 2010, 09:52 AM
Oh yes. Her with Kurama would piss me off so much... I'm glad he's not here. Obviously, the author/ess likes bad boiz. I'm surprised Youko isn't - oh God. If he shows up I swear to God I will punch my computer.

"MEYER-PIRES DO NOT WORK THAT WAY." That was good. biggrin.gif


--------------------
Like the moon over
the day, my genius and brawn
are lost on these fools.
~haiku


Angel of music sings, I pull the strings like Gendo
I control your every move, like buttons on Nintendo


RAWR!
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Post #11
Neko_Maid


WH4T 1S JUST1C3
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post Jun 11 2010, 10:56 AM
QUOTE
This is worse than that lemon fanfic I read where Goku was raping a horse back in the late 90's!


o.O


--------------------
"That Ms. Paint is one classy Prospitian lady. She is the model of grace and beauty. I am always a bit flustered in her presence, especially when she carries her little pail around like that.

Whereas THIS lazy sack of crap here makes me sick to my stomach.

Cal, God damn it. We were all supposed to dress up for this. It doesn't look like you even touched that nice suit I sewed for you, let alone swapped your eyes with those billiard balls and make them alternate rapidly.

This insubordination is putting me in a foul mood. It's bad enough I just had to take Falcor out behind the woodshed and blow his brains out after he caught the rabies."


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Post #12
Badass Overlord


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post Jun 11 2010, 11:04 AM
I liked your mock, but you really seem to like using the same images over and over again, which kinda loses it's funny after a while. Just sayin'.


--------------------


"The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed.”

Commala-come-come,
The battle's now begun!
And all the foes of men and rose
Rise with the setting sun.


I am He who howls in the night; I am He who moans in the snow; I am He who hath never seen light; I am He who mounts from below.
My car is the car of Death; My wings are the wings of dread; My breath is the north wind’s breath; My prey are the cold and the dead.
- Psychopompos
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Post #13
shiroamasa


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post Jun 11 2010, 11:23 AM
Meh. I really need to find new ones anyway. Thanks though.


--------------------
"GAAAAAAAAAAME!" -HCBailly

"I'm HCBailly, and my cat is sleeping on my subwoofer." -HCBailly, playing Final Fantasy 3/6

"SURPRISE FISH!" - Deceased Crab

"Whoa, dude! Want some pizza with your brain arms?" Retsupurae, on Quadraxis14's LP of Contra 3

"How rude!" HCBailly, playing Secret of Mana.

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TigerEyes


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post Jun 11 2010, 01:18 PM
QUOTE
“HAHAHA” laughed mystique “YOU WILL NEVER FUCKIN GET TE POWEERS”

THAT'S RIGHT, HIEI! YOU WILL NEVER GET MY POWEERS!

This fic is something else... The mock is hysterical, though.


--------------------
“All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes to make it possible.”

- T.E. Lawrence.

"Know pain, no gain. No pain, know gain."
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Post #15
shiroamasa


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post Jun 11 2010, 03:20 PM
Alright, I've calmed down enough to do the next chapter. And this time, It's gonna be a little special.

Now, the conclusion.


Hiei and Delly woke up to the shutter of Hogwarts students cheering and lollygagging. They jumped out of bed and ran into the Great Hall where cowards of people were crowding around a girl.


"Shutter"? Is Peeping Tom peeping at Godiva again?


“What is going on here?” Hiei dementored to know.


"Dementored"? Hiei is planning to kill Mukuro!





OH NOES!


“Wait… that’s Bella!” said Delly as she peered through the congregation.


BELLA?! BELLA'S HERE?! OH MY GOD THIS FIC JUST GOT WORSE.


Just as Delly said, Bella (Edward’s girlfriend) was there and ironaldly she was giving a speech about why teen parentcy is illegal. “Well it’s a good think we turned that water into wine!” said Hiei winking at her, and then they took seats in the front.


DAMMIT HIEI! DON'T MAKE A JESUS JOKE!


Edward was sitting nearby and so was Shadow. All the students had to go to this meeting because it was majority for there classes.


Indeed. And the majority of your fans hate your fic, Dalli.



In the back of the rom, Proffessor Snaps was watching Bella carefully… he did not get the memo about her coming to give a pubic speech and so from afar he thought that it was Harry Potter’s mom! When Bella’s speech was over, she walked to the backyard to board her 2003 Chevy Pullover when a bag flew over her head.”


wallbash.gif wallbash.gif wallbash.gif


“I have you now, Lilly Anne Potter!” he says and soufflés her into the trunk of his jeep. He sped off into the night. Edward grred… again his sences were tingling in the moment’s heat.


And WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?


“Listen everyone” he said, “We need to save Bella. Something horny has happened to her and it is up to us to save him!” Everyoned knotted. “But we need someone who is good with a sword…”


Since WHEN did care about Bella, Edwart? ALL YOU'VE BEEN DOING IS STALKING AND MASTURBATING TO DALLI!


Hiei was good with a combat but he was feeling fangled from the sex he had with Dally (since there were no rules they had sex over one thousand times), so he did not raise is hands. In stead he deciphered to make a suggestion box.


What the?! HIEI IS STRONG ENOUGH TO TAKE DOWN A POWERFUL DEMON! BUT HE CAN'T HANDLE A SEX SESSION WITH A MARY SUE? OH LORD.


“I think that Link should do it,” asked Hiei.


LINK?! LINK'S IN THIS STORY TOO?!


Just then a blonde boy with a green hand and leggings came upon a gryphon. He was wearing a sword and he had pointy ears. He swirled his weeping and slammed it into the ground with his foot. “LETS KICK SOME ASS HE SAID!"





And then they wee on the way. Snape was fucking the shit out of Bella, but since she was blinde (the bag had punctured her eyes) she thought it was Edward and moaned punctually.


Snape fucking Bella? DO NOT WANT! sick.gif sick.gif sick.gif


Edward bust into the room and saw them making woopie and had a look of sheer whore on his face. He balls dropped, he could not believe what he was saving. In his head he saw that his doorest Bella was in danger.. but in his yes he was seeing that it was not the chaste at all. Bella was indeed riding Snape’s cock with her pussy, and she happy.





He ran away as fast as his feet could carry him.


RUN, MAN! RUUUUUN!


“EDWARD WAIT!” Dally shouted. She wanted him to come back and see treason, because she saw from the way Bella’s eyes were gourged out that she did not know, but then she remembered Bella was a cunt and told Edward, “I think we should kill them both…”


On second thought, maybe Dally's got the right idea...


SO Edward came back to the room while the both of them was still humping and attacked Bella first. He sunk his teeth into her neck like the titanic and all at once she turned to stone. Dally grabbed Snape’s dick and threw it out the window, and then Link stabbed him through his heart and lungs.


VAMPIRISM DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOD!


The scene it was messy… blood and guts was everywhere… and Bella and Proffessor Snape were dead. It was in this step that they knew they could depheat Dubledore.


Guro. Yuck! I've lost all respect for you, Dally.


When Proffessor Skellington heard the ipod, he rushed to the show right away. “Fucking god damnit,” he swore, “Now we will need a new teacher again.”


laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif


He thought to himself for a few seconds and then said, “Edwart! You can be our new tether!” He smeared warmly.


WHAT?!?!?! blink.gif


Edward was shocked and aroused. “I can not believe this… it is such a hammer!” He accepted the medal and went to clash to teach. Since he was a vampire he knew the most about potions.


YOU'RE DARN RIGHT IT'S A HAMMER BECAUSE I'M GONNA HIT YOU WITH IT!


“This is good news for Ed!” said Dally. “Aright gangbang lets go over whose in our gang: We have Edward, Me, Hiei, Link,Shadow the Hedgemouse, Jack Sellingtons, Me, and who else??”


Jack Who? I've never met any Jack. Aside from Jack Atlas. No relation to Charles Atlas.


“I think that we should get Sasuke,” said Link, “He is is in Griffindoos, but if we tell him Dumbledore is a pedofile he will probably want to kill him two.”


NOOOOOOO! NOT SASUKE! ANYONE BUT HIM!


“That’s an extortionist idea!” said Bella, “I think we should do it.”


WEREN'T YOU DEAD?!


They all ran to the Gryffindoor commonplace and barged in on Saspluke, he was changing and half naked (FANGASM). Everyone ran out a once cuz it was embearassing except Hiei who came out a few minutes later.


OH GOD NO. PLEASE TELL ME YOU DIDN'T HAVE SEX WITH HIM.


“WHAT THE HELL HIEI” shouted Dally, “Do you like him??”


Yes, Hiei. WHAT THE HELL?!?!


“I don’t think so,” said Hiei, “It was kinda hott though…”


"Sorry to burst your bubble, Hiei." Sasuke said. "But I'm taken."





“THIS IS NOT THE FUCKING POINT” barged Edward, “We need his help and so it doesn’t matter what clothes he’s wearing”


Right, Edwart. Wait, DID I JUST AGREE WITH HIM?!


They uncame back in and he was closed. “What did you want gays?” said Sasuke, “Sorry I was studying.”


"Uncame"? *shudders* Sounds horrible if you ask me. And, Sasuke's got the "gays" part right.


“We need your help to kill a certain pedofile” said Shadow in a low but gruggly voice, “You are a ninjask and therefore good with killing. You also have powers. And a wizard.”


HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Sasuke's a Ninjask!





“I will join your team!” said Sasuke he was tying his shoes. “When will we go on the missionary?”


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! NO MORE SEX PUNS!


“RIGHT FUCKIN NOW” said Bella.


YOU SHUT UP! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE STONED!


And so they all ran off into the night to defeating the faggot Dumbledore with the powers!


No, Author. YOU ARE THE FAGGOT!


And then, Dally became a lesbian. I'm done with this chapter. See ya later.

This post has been edited by shiroamasa: Jun 11 2010, 05:04 PM


--------------------
"GAAAAAAAAAAME!" -HCBailly

"I'm HCBailly, and my cat is sleeping on my subwoofer." -HCBailly, playing Final Fantasy 3/6

"SURPRISE FISH!" - Deceased Crab

"Whoa, dude! Want some pizza with your brain arms?" Retsupurae, on Quadraxis14's LP of Contra 3

"How rude!" HCBailly, playing Secret of Mana.

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Post #16
Kuramastrassx3


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post Jun 11 2010, 03:26 PM
Don't you think Bella would notice that Snape's cock isn't below zero? MEYER-PIRES are fucking cold and made of marble and all that.


--------------------
Like the moon over
the day, my genius and brawn
are lost on these fools.
~haiku


Angel of music sings, I pull the strings like Gendo
I control your every move, like buttons on Nintendo


RAWR!
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Post #17
shiroamasa


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post Jun 11 2010, 03:29 PM
Apparently, the author either didn't read much of Twilight, or she decided to omit that fact and make us bang our heads against our walls.


--------------------
"GAAAAAAAAAAME!" -HCBailly

"I'm HCBailly, and my cat is sleeping on my subwoofer." -HCBailly, playing Final Fantasy 3/6

"SURPRISE FISH!" - Deceased Crab

"Whoa, dude! Want some pizza with your brain arms?" Retsupurae, on Quadraxis14's LP of Contra 3

"How rude!" HCBailly, playing Secret of Mana.

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Post #18
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post Jun 11 2010, 03:33 PM
OK, this HAS to be a troll. Those words did not just write themselves.

Also, I liked this fic better when Edwart was the villain. =(

This post has been edited by TigerEyes: Jun 11 2010, 03:34 PM


--------------------
“All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes to make it possible.”

- T.E. Lawrence.

"Know pain, no gain. No pain, know gain."
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Post #19
shiroamasa


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post Jun 11 2010, 03:45 PM
Oh, I assure you. This is NO troll.

She even has a fucking website dedicated to her story.

http://xdallyx.webs.com/aboutme.htm


--------------------
"GAAAAAAAAAAME!" -HCBailly

"I'm HCBailly, and my cat is sleeping on my subwoofer." -HCBailly, playing Final Fantasy 3/6

"SURPRISE FISH!" - Deceased Crab

"Whoa, dude! Want some pizza with your brain arms?" Retsupurae, on Quadraxis14's LP of Contra 3

"How rude!" HCBailly, playing Secret of Mana.

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Post #20
TigerEyes


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post Jun 11 2010, 04:04 PM
QUOTE (shiroamasa @ Jun 11 2010, 06:45 PM)
Oh, I assure you. This is NO troll.

She even has a fucking website dedicated to her story.

http://xdallyx.webs.com/aboutme.htm
*

I call bullshit. A quick look around the forums told me all I need to know that this is a troll.

Ah, well, the mock's still hilarious!


--------------------
“All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes to make it possible.”

- T.E. Lawrence.

"Know pain, no gain. No pain, know gain."
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