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> Ash and Sasuke switch place a pokemon naruto cross, Oh god no!
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Badass Overlord

Deltascape Deleter

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From: The Binding Coil of Bahamut
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post Nov 9 2008, 03:16 PM
Ya know, this makes my brain hurt. Basically Sasuke and Ash switch places for this fic. I wonder how Ash switches places with Sasuke, if he has no ninja skills? The authors name is Freezedrive. He's done other fics where he "constntly be mskin fanfictions where people either crossover or switch genders or bodies. bwuhahahaha" Bear with me, so I can rip this guy to shreds. This story's one chapter, but long as hell!

Mock in BOLD

Ash and Sasuke switch places
A Naruto and Pokemon crossover

We find our heroes the Pokemon gang where else lost in a forest.

"Yo, dawg we seem to be held up in this forest." "Shut yo face turkey meat!"

“I can’t believe you lost us in another shortcut” wailed May “stop arguing you two there’s an uncharted village over there" said Brock so the gang stopped arguing and explored the village which a sign revealed to be the village hidden in the leaves.

I wonder why they never fought ninjas before if they're somehow in Narutos world?

On there way exploring they saw a guy with a vest that had his right eye covered (Kakashi of coarse)

A vest that had his right eye covered? What?

when ash walked up to Kakashi and Kakashi said “hello Sasuke have you decided on a new look?”

Ash: "Yeah, I've decided to use my superior skills to capture monsters and stuff them in balls."

“Huh, uh sir I’m ash Ketchum” “sorry you look just like my top student, speaking of witch I’d better be going” and he ran off. “Boy that was weird” said ash and then out of nowhere Ino (I think that’s Sakura’s rival for Sasuke) came and glomped ash

I'd like to get glomped by Ino too... whatever that means.

“hello Sasuke couldn’t stand Sakura?” “Um miss my name’s ash –not Sasuke” “Sasuke its okay you don’t have to hide from me” and she proceeded to try and kiss him.

Yeah, you look and sound nothing like Sasuke.

Ash yelled frightened and luckily woke up Pikachu and Pikachu thinking ash was in danger zapped Ino “thanks buddy that crazy woman glomped me for no reason oh and I think I squished all the ketchup”

Huh? Ketchup?

Pikachu hearing this zapped Ino again making her recover

Because we all know, lightning works that way. What is this, shock therapy?

“I’m sorry Pikachu I didn’t mean too I’ll buy all the ketchup you want just please don’t sick her on me!” ash begged for his sanity

So he was already insane?

“pi Pikachu (he’s all yours miss)” and with that ash ran with Ino hot on his tail.

Pikachu's a dick.

Naruto and his squad wandered into the city after they put Kakashi into a tiger pit trap with a porno book as bait.

The wild Kakashi is weak against Erotic Fiction! It's super effective!

“I still can’t believe that actually worked” said Naruto “same here” said Sakura and Sasuke in unison it was true the squad had expected for Kakashi to avoid the trap and trick them into it. The squad had no missions because they had put knockout gas in the pit thinking Naruto would get in so they could save him embarrassment. So the squad took Kakashi to the hospital because they made the pit real deep with concrete at the bottom and went to wander and stuff.

That's just plain mean.

Sasuke was just minding his own business when he bumped into may. “Hey ash you need to cure your clumsiness"

“Sorry but you got the wrong guy—“he cut himself short because what he saw was the most beautiful person he had ever seen. He was in la la land looking at her thinking (who is this angel that has graced me with her presence she has the most beautiful eyes like the moon her smile glistens in the sun’s rays and her skin is near flawless)

This is a pretty sad story. That's a really sad explanation of May right there.

now these weren’t the normal thoughts you’d find in the head of Sasuke Uchia DUH but this was the first time he experienced a crush on a girl but right now Sasuke was mesmerized by may and his crush was about the size of Naruto’s ego meaning his heart was beating uncontrollably he was sweating hard and he was losing his hold on reality. “hello ash, Aston, ashy boy?”

So Ash's real name was Aston Ashyboy?

snapping out of lala land he said “sorry you got the wrong guy the name’s Sasuke Uchia top ninja” he said goofily like Naruto “ash are you okay” “yeah I’m fine but my name is Sasuke Uchia not ash Ketchum” and without thinking said “so your name must be hot chocolate because you look hot and delicious” he said suavely and may blushed

That was probably the funniest/worst pickup line ever!

Over to and by the way those new clothes make you look hot” she said sexily and then she kissed Sasuke on the cheek.

Man 12 year olds nowadays, I swear.

Sasuke’s face went really red as may left and then Sasuke stumbled around humming and he was acting clumsily till he ran into Brock and max “hey ash what happened to you”

"Not only are you acting weird, but you look like different... like a TOTALLY DIFFERENT PERSON! OMG!!1!!"

Then Sasuke snapped back completely to his old cold self “nothing but my name isn’t ash it’s Sasuke Uchia.” “Nice try ash but the eye contacts and new clothes aren’t fooling us”

Maybe your age gap. I mean Ash should at least be in his 20's by now!

“ash you have to be careful where you leave your stuff you forgot them” “Pikachuuuuu!(This is for the ketchup)” and Pikachu zapped Sasuke hard resulting him to lose consciousness

May suddenly strips him and gets her moves on. "Wait. Ash's dick isn't this small."

“Wow I thought he’d be used to it by now”

“Yeah Pikachu must have been pretty mad maybe he disguised himself to hide from Pikachu” said max After that they met with may found a route and left the village carrying Sasuke to the nearest city with a hospital

Meanwhile ash started to run at speeds he didn’t think was possible for humanity.

So he really was a ninja?

“You’re fast Sasuke but I will get you” and then ash did something that really surprised himself he started to jump off of buildings and trees.

Please don't tell me he becomes some kind of super ninja.

Luckily he ran into Sasuke’s brother and hid behind him “save me from that psycho woman” and Itachi stared at Ino before she ran away like crazy “thanks sir she was about to get me” and Itachi blinked “Sasuke are you okay?”

Umm Itachi doesn't live in the hidden leaf village... just so ya know.

“my name isn’t Sasuke its ash Ketchum why do people mistake me for him” “you’re not fooling anybody with Naruto’s ash Ketchum costume after all who else has ruby-eyes like us” “what are you talking about I have brown eyes” “have you looked in a mirror lately brother” then he pointed to the nearest mirror “is that me?” he said in awe he had ruby eyes and then he noticed how hot he was and took off his jacket and saw that his shirt outlined a six-pack and he noticed how much his senses had increased suddenly he could see ninjas performing jutsu and knew what type they were he could see the replacement jutsu and the clone jutsu and he found he knew how to perform them.

Ash became a Gary Stu! Sound the Alarms!

“Whoa” was his only response to his new senses and eyes. “I’ve got to go” he left and tried out his new speed. It was unimaginable to him it was like he was flying the feeling of the wind rushing through his hair the feeling was awesome and before he knew it he ran into Kakashi who had miraculously recovered. “Hey Sasuke why’d you fool me earlier” “I'm no—oh I just wanted to try it out and see what you normally do” he said because he didn’t want to get into an argument. Kakashi put ash where Sasuke would normally… on missions now with his new senses ash didn’t have any trouble at all doing them when they went to get a cat that escaped that talked when ash found out it was team rocket

Oh come on! I knew that was coming!

“prepare for trouble, make it double” “who are these clowns?” asked Naruto

Your mother and father.

“Pokemon thieves” when he reached for a poke ball he realized they were all in his pack except Charizard which he had to watch because he burned the ranch he was on. “Go Charizard” and Charizard came out looking ticked. “Charizard use dragon rage” and before you could say huh team rocket was blasting off again.

Isn't it funny how his pokemon obey him, even though he now looks like Sasuke?

“Wow Sasuke you’re a Pokemon trainer you know you look exactly like my idol ash Ketchum.” Said Naruto

HAHAHAHAHA! Now I know why Naruto's such a loser!

“that’s what I have been trying to tell everybody I’m not Sasuke I’m ash Ketchum I just got these cool senses and speed running from a psycho who thought I was Sasuke!” he yelled “wow I knew that Sasuke looked like you but you must be twin brothers to have a shringan” “a what?” “a shringan is a bloodline limit in the Uchia clan giving them accelerated eyesight and the ability to copy other ninja’s jutsu” explained Sakura

Also called the "MARY-SUE" eyes.

“so that’s how I know how to do Naruto’s sexy jutsu” he said and then Naruto said “you’re bluffing” “nope, sexy jutsu!” and ash transformed into a nude woman in smoke causing Naruto to fall backwards and get a nosebleed and then ash changed back. “Amazing you copied the infamous sexy jutsu” congratulated Kakashi “and that’s not all I found I can copy Pokemon attacks as well”

Oh boy.

and then he demonstrated a hyper beam out of his mouth like his Snorlax. Kakashi who dodged the attack saw a huge crater behind him. “But I can only copy certain ones” he said “but I can copy telekinesis off of an alakazam” and to demonstrate he lifted himself Sakura and Naruto off the ground with his mind. “Wow we can fly coooool!” Naruto yelled making ash lose concentration. They caught their balance. “Now then lets spar shall we” said Kakashi and then he spared with ash and Naruto sparred with Sakura. Now Kakashi would normally be hidden but somehow ash copied his old knoctowl’s foresight so he would know where Kakashi was. Kakashi was running for his life because he called his mother stupid and misty his girlfriend, so far he had dodged 5 thunders 6 solerbeams 7 overheats 8 ice beams 9 twisters and 10 hyper beams.
“Your mom is the most smart person on the planet and misty is not your girlfriend please just don’t hurt me” Kakashi said begging for his life.

In this fic, the author portrays Kakashi as a wimp... huh.

Naruto and Sakura had their mouths wide open and their eyes bugging out Kakashi was begging for his from a kid who wasn’t even a genin. “Fine but not without this” and then ash burned all of Kakashi books with expert aim at his house “nooooo my treasures” he sobbed “that’s only a small fraction of what I will do if you say that again” he said gravely “gulp” went Naruto and Sakura for they were cowering in fear of his wrath.

Ash finally went crazy! Fear his Gary-stu powers for he can beat up Kakashi! Next, watch him beat up your face!

“hahahahahahah” said rock lee’s sensei who happened to see the explosions “you got beat up by a puny kid” “Kakashi-sensei would you like me to-“ “nothing would please me more” said Kakashi and ash proceeded to send rock Lee’s sensei flying with a hyper beam Sasuke decided to introduce himself with a fireball jutsu “my name isn’t ash Ketchum its Sasuke Uchia” “I knew ash couldn’t possibly be that hot” said May “so now we don’t know how to get back to the village to switch you and ash back”

When did we switch from Ash to Sasuke?

just then the phone rang and Delilah’s picture appeared on the screen “hey ms Ketchum” “hello everyone whereas ash, is he there oh no has something happened to my baby there has oh nooooo I’ve lost my last son waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh oh not ash too I knew I shouldn’t have sent him away he disappeared just like his twin brother Sasuke waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh” and everybody in the room sweat dropped “mom?” Sasuke yelled loud enough to blow Delilah off her seat “oh my baby’s safe oh I’m so happy” “this is why I ran away 3 years ago” he muttered

WHATHUH!?!?! Wait a second, so Sasuke isn't related to the Uchihas? But then how does he have the Sharingan? But then that doesn't answer why Ash has it and...and... JUST WHY?!

“Oh my other baby where have you been I’ve been worried sick over you for 3 years” “you left the portal in the back yard and I used it to go to kahona the place of the uchia’s and changed my name to your maiden name oh and I think ash got switched with me by accident.”

Wait. Repeat that again. This fic really sucks. There's hardly any punctuation, which makes this shit very hard to comprehend.

“…my…baby” and Delilah fainted. “Wow I knew it was impossible for ash to look so cute” said May and Sasuke went red as a tomato. “Uhhh ththththtththank you may” he stuttered.


And he went back into lala land daydreaming about May. “Oh my baby is growing up he has his first crush” said Mrs. K (miraculously recovering) and Sasuke went redder and may blushed. “mom” he said so after that they were about to leave when Gary called “hey every- Sasuke is that you?” he yelled “Gary what’s up my main man!”he said and all their mouths (excluding Sasuke and Gary) dropped like dead weights to the ground.

Even mine. What the hell?! Another question: How come Sasuke ran away 3 years ago and Ash doesn't remember? It's not that hard!

“okay now that is a strange sight” said Brock “yeah everyone knows ash and Gary fight like cats and dogs and even though they are friends now they aren’t that friendly” said max “Sasuke please quit that its messing up our image of ash” said may “sor-r-r-r-ry amamamamamamaaamamay” he stuttered

Ugh. This author borders on the edge of Dumbassary.

“hey I didn’t know the great Sasuke Uchia could like any girl because of all those fan girls chasing him around” “you have girls chasing you?” said Brock “sensei teach me your wisdom!” and everybody except Brock sweat dropped. “umm they just chase me around me really can’t tell you anything” and so the chaos ended except…

“prepare for trouble”

“make it double”

“and please spare us the piece of !#&$ motto!” said Sasuke and then he set their balloon and the machine they were going to use to catch Pikachu on fire with his fireball jutsu thus causing the machine to explode and so “team rocket’s blasting off again”. So the gang went back to kahona

Umm. Yeah.

ash was quite pleased with himself. He had excelled so much in ninjetsu that he became a jonin in only one week.

Only one week?! GARY-STU!

He had to wear a jonin vest plus by sheer coincidence he had been a chunin exam Procter. He was so famous for being the youngest jonin that he soon met his brother’s most formidable foes: the accursed fan girls. His fear of fan girls caused him to use gain strength that he didn’t know that he could. He had to use every trick he knew to avoid them.

On one certain day he had to substitute as squad 7’s instructor because Kakashi was always late. “so ash-sensei how did you become a jonin in only 1 week?” asked Sakura

Ash: Because the author sucks balls. Now come over here and let me sex you up bitch!

“I just did this every day at home my mom trained me everyday in secret so that she could feel better after the Itachi incident because she had no other students and in the last three years she taught me the most advanced jutsu she knows” he explained. “I forgot while I was traveling”

What the hell? Well that's just wonderful!

“wow and I thought we were young when it came to the chunin exams” Sakura exclaimed. “so now then here is list of our missions today,” said ash. And so the day began with everyone getting burned up by ash’s Charizard because Naruto wanted to see it. The first mission was getting a cat that could talk (a spying meowth of coarse), then guarding a mine field and luckily he found some of his old Pokemon wandered from oaks lab to kahona so he gave Sakura cyndaquil, bayleaf, and totodile while Naruto decided to try Charizard.

Of coarse. Pokemon are starting to wander into Konoha. Let me guess. Orochimaru gets an Arbok, and Naruto catches a Ninetails, right?

Charizard burned Naruto and blew up the mine field and Sakura set him on fire with cyndaquil, slashed him with bayleaf, and beat him up with totodile. “that’s for acting like an idiot again” “please don’t fight you two,” pleaded ash “well I might if he stops acting so stupid all the time” the next mission they had to stop team rocket from stealing the secret scrolls and ash taught them how to battle with Pokemon and kick their butts. “so now we… hey that’s every mission on the list” said ash because they had done every mission on the list. So he met with the hokage “awww you look so kawaii in that vest in that jonin vest” and Tsunade and every adult woman ninja in the building started for him so he used the shadow clone jutsu to escape them.

This is just getting worse and worse.

Then he hid behind Kakashi in fear of the women jonin “Mr. Kakashi could you please keep me away from them” “sorry I can’t help you ash—never mind hind under here” and Kakashi hid ash under the couch to help him avoid the stampede of women only after falling victim to ash’s unconsciously cute face of fear. “I really need to get back on the road or I’m going to break my cheek bones” ash said after the stampede was gone. “Oh thank lord their gone” and the room he had escaped to was the jonin waiting room with his usual seat next to Kurenai and Kakashi. Kurenai always hugged him because she could not resist his cuteness but always not so hard because she didn’t want to suffocate him.

He's making every Naruto character into stupid people obbessed with cute crap.

“sorry ash it’s just that you look so kawaii in that outfit” she gushed blood and died YAY! what he was wearing was his normal baggy jeans, his hat overlapped by his headband protector, his shirt overlapped by his jonin vest. In the week that he became jonin his eyes had matured symbolizing his now complete sharingan with three tamoe marks and he wore his headband protector just like Kakashi and so all the women thought he was a cute chibi-kakashi and started chasing him because his of his cuteness and all the older male jonin helped him escape them by giving him hiding places.

They were just jelous.

Ash made money by teaching kahona about Pokemon. Also he made a few of his own techniques where you could pass right through a wall by using to by vibrating his molecules at supersonic speed to go around the molecules in the wall or any other solid objects.

What is he, the Flash?

He could also make mini-tornados with his hands and spin to become a human tornado. (yeah I copied off of the flash I don’t own it so sue me)

Ugh. My brain hurts.

He was so good that everybody his or less age admired him. Now there was an ambassador from cerulean city and you can probably guess who that is…

Can't say that I can. Who is it? Jesus?

“jonin here is ambassador misty water flower” “now Waterflower-san Gato, an evil merchant, heard about you and will stop at nothing to kidnap you and use your Pokemon for the black market so choose your jonin body guard” “Tsunade-sama” said ash “please don’t-“ “ash is that you!” “mist what are you doing here I thought you were busy as a gym leader!”

I thought she WAS a gym leader. Not a freaking ninja.

“I was and—wait a minute you were a ninja all this time and you didn’t tell me or teach me any cool ninja stuff?” and ash looked at Kakashi for help “but misty I just became a jonin please don’t hurt me” and misty took out her trusty mallet and swung at ash with it luckily with his new senses he dodged and so the chase proceeded for ten minutes with ash running for his life while screaming like a little girl and everybody sweat dropped

I gonna take out my trusty sledgehammer, Sebastian and smash your pompous face in, Freezedrive!

“Tsunade-sama are you sure that she needs protection?” asked a woman jonin with a sweat drop misty before you kill me I really got to tell you something” “what?” “there’s a bug behind you” “eeek” and so she stopped and ash said “I’m alive!” and everybody sweat dropped “well ash since the ambassador is obviously your girlfriend she will be with your squad” misty and ash both blushed “fine but she is not my girlfriend!” yelled ash “sure but why is she blushing every time she looks at you and you have a cute nickname for her, do not deny it for I have an internet degree in psychology and the infamous ninja matchmaker Tsunade fear my power of love!”

Yeah, you guys have been traveling together for like, 8 years or something!

at this point everybody either fell down with a loud thud or had a huuuge sweat drop. “could we please get back on subject” “alright the couple will be in squad 7”

The Pokemon gang plus one Gary and Sasuke minus one ash were back in kahona

Hooray! Freezedrive dazzles us with his exstensive knowledge of arithmetic!

Searching for ash and they found team 7 who was really happy to see them “Sasuke! You returned” “yeah you all know about my old buddy Gary”

No, I really don't. What are you smoking?

“yeah” and so team seven told him about what they did today and “an elite ninja and a complete sharingan? Boy mom really put him to the limit those three years” said Sasuke “yeah but he’s been chased by fan girls and adult woman ninja wanting to adopt him” “hey everybody” said ash returning with misty Pikachu rejoiced on top of its master’s head “ash-sensei hey is that the misty Waterflower?”

Was Misty's last name Waterflower, or am I just dumb?

and Naruto suddenly had stars in his eyes along with Sakura “yeah our new mission is to be her body guards but trust me if you ever insult her were the ones who are going to need protection.” “why is that?” they asked “observe misty you’re a tomboy and a scrawny brat” he said to demonstrate and misty took out her mallet and pounded ash into the ground creating a small crater “see what I mean” said ash weakly they all nodded and Naruto, Gary, and Sasuke cowered in fear of Misty’s awesome power “oh and by the way Sasuke your brother is our substitute sensei for the day” “what my twin brother is my sensei!” yelled Sasuke

But we look nothing alike!

“yep and here is a Pokemon to train with” said a sly Naruto “wait isn’t that char-“said ash “cool poke ball go” and it was Charizard who came out and licked Sasuke thinking it was ash “hey that tickles” said Sasuke and then he got burned with a flamethrower “that hurt”

And then Charizard proceeded to rape Sasuke. He replied "It feels so GOOD!"

said Sasuke and then Charizard proceeded to burn ash who used a mega punch rendering Charizard unconscious. “…” everyone was speechless even Sasuke was surprised by raising an eyebrow “oh sorry I can copy Pokemon attacks now” right now may, Sakura, and misty had hearts in their eyes.

“I never noticed how handsome he is” said misty “he’s dreamy” said may and Sakura said “he’s better than Sasuke”now Naruto and Sasuke were about to kill ash so ash said

"Let's have an orgy everyone!"

“um Sakura you have a big forehead and may you’re ugly” that caused Sakura to cry in Naruto’s arms and may in Sasuke’s and ash winked at both of them and Naruto gave ash the thumbs up, but Sasuke was blushing furiously and nervously put a thumbs up sign.


He then wonders hmm she’s star struck with me now I wonder’ ash flashed his dazzling smile and winked his uncovered eye and misty started saying “no ash you can’t subdue me- arggh can’t fight handsomeness” and she sighed, swooned, and fainted.

Ash: "Oh, well, I guess I didn't need those sleeping pills after all."

“hey guys try it out” and Sasuke stepped back a few steps and may said “no that won’t work on me” but when Sasuke flashed his dazzling smile and winked she was helpless and so she swooned and fainted hmm this will be tough but I will master it’ so Naruto flashed his smile but Sakura wasn’t affected “come on Naruto you can do it” cheered ash and Sasuke “you can’t subdue me Naruto” and so Naruto decided to loose the wink and smile sophisticatedly with his eyes closed giving him an Eriol from cardcaptors look inner Sakura was struggling and panted “cant resist” and inner Sakura fainted from emotional fatigue clutching her heart while the real Sakura swayed slowly then a slow sigh could be heard from Sakura as she swooned gradually and slowly lost consciousness

It sounded like she just had an orgasm.

“You did it with nice technique” said Sasuke “looking chivalrous and you eyes closed was pure genius” said ash so they woke up the girls with some ice-cold water and just then gato’s men came to kidnap misty but fell into the hole team rocket dug and fell on top of team rocket. “Okay sooooo that takes care of that mission” said Naruto sweat dropping

After that they went to a local hotel and as soon as they came thought the doors three men came and kidnapped misty. But the men fell out the window trying to escape and fell on their stomachs giving misty a cover to soften her landing and ash said “boy gato’s got lame henchmen” then Zabuza came and “before you say anything no I am not dead miraculously me and Haku survived and fully recovered although Haku turned to a real girl on the way here (Is till don’t know how that happened) and being buried alive has mentally scarred us for life.”

Yes, I have been scarred too. I think everyone has.

And then Haku showed herself. She had her usual pants and headband on but she was a bit shorter than normal her eyelashes were longer and her chest had grown. In other words she was drop-dead gorgeous

She was basically a full grown female and she had a crush on a certain red-eyed ninja (Kakashi) but that’s another story.

I'll kill you if you make that into a story!

Anyway Zabuza trapped misty in a water prison but ash let Naruto have a whackoff at him but this time Naruto flambéed Zabuza and all his water jutsu with a flamethrower ash taught him. And when Haku’s turn came Naruto and Sasuke didn’t fight “why aren’t you fighting?” “because you’re a girl!” OMGWUT!? they both yelled at the same time “look were not saying you’re weak or anything but it just wouldn’t be right” said Sasuke “awww that’s sweet” “actually we just don’t want misty to beat us up” “we’ll sorry but I have to kill you” “Sasuke I have an idea” and they whispered in a huddle for a few seconds.. “I don’t know Naruto are you sure this will work she still has her old mind” “yeah but she was gay when she was a guy” So it's okay to kill her? “okay” “die,” was the only word that came from Haku and she came out at super speed about to hit Naruto when Sasuke defended him but this time he leaned in and kissed her on the cheek causing her to blush and then Naruto and Sasuke flashed their dazzling smiles and caused her to swoon and faint. Too much Listerine! “Wow it worked” so they took Zabuza to be taken to probation and Haku was put as an ice sculpture maker because of her water sifting abilities and she loved being able to use her power freely and she could fish without the need of a rod. That was a clever sexual inuenndo right there! Also the way she made sculptures was that she basically made portraits of people out of ice and she made a good living out of it.

Unlike the author here.

Now back to our heroes. They had found Gato and ash let Sakura, Sasuke, and Naruto take the men out. And then when the elite guard came and beat them up ash stepped in and used his tornado thingy and sent them flying and when Gato locked them is with dynamite ash just vibrated the explosives out of there before they exploded and when that was over ash copied sensing ki and flying off of a dragon ball z episode he saw last night So he can watch a Dragonball Z episode with his sharingan, and use the moves from it? That's just unfair! and caught Gato easily. After that he taught Naruto Sakura and Sasuke how to fly sense ki and the kamehameha.

Why doesn't he just add a gender confused Goku? It's not like there's too much canon rape already.

After that may gave ash his Pokemon back and he continued his class.

Now when misty found out about his class she decided to host a Pokemon battle it was Sasuke V.S. Sakura being the genius chose totodile while Sasuke tried out Charizard but not before teaching him all of his fire jutsu


“Charizard attack with flamethrower”

“Hah that won’t work against water Pokemon

Yeah, you obviously haven't played Pokemon!

“who said I was aiming it at him” and Sakura took a look and the ground under totodile was on fire “Charizard finish it quickly with grand fireball” and amazingly Charizard performed the hand seals perfectly and a large fireball strengthened by Charizard being a fire-type “your not the only one who can teach jutsu totodile end this now with water dragon” and even more amazingly totodile made some hand seals and a huge dragon made out of water came out of Totadile’s mouth.

I doubt Pokemon can form hand signs. The best they can do is repeat their names over and over again like retards.

“Oh crud, looks like isn’t going to be quick at all Charizard abandon the fireball and electrocute totodile with Chidori” “what!” and Charizard did some more hand seals and made a Chidori….

What? Charazard made a Chidori... well why not?

In the stands the Pokemon gang was in awe “wow I never knew teaching Pokemon jutsu would make them so powerful did you see the size of those attacks” said max “yeah but since when can Charizard do an electric attack” “it’s not an electric attack” said ash “its not” “no it may be electric by nature but it’s actually a jutsu passed down in the Uchia clan” “it’s the ultimate sword used for assassinations it’s also called lightning edge because Kakashi caught lightning with it once” “also it sounds like a thousand birds chirping that’s why its called the Chidori”

Actually the Chidori was a move invented by Kakashi, who by the way is NOT a member of the Uchihas...Dumbass.

“wow” said may

“Alright Charizard zap that wimpy alligator to the next dimension”

Where Freezedrive's next story will take place! It shall be a Digimon and Bleach crossover!

And Charizard hit Totadile’s stream with the Chidori and the electrical current from the attack electrocuted totodile or so they thought the totodile that Charizard attacked was a water clone and totodile reappeared behind Charizard. Totodile finish it off with sharkshot and another set of seals was made and a very strong current erupted from Totadile’s mouth “Charizard change the energy from the Chidori to your tail and combine it with fire spin” and the Chidori disappeared from Charizard claw and reappeared on his tail replacing the tail-flame “let him have it” and Charizard made a spiral of electricity electrocuting and paralyzing totodile.

I'm pretty sure Charizard was a fire flying type. Not a KICKASS NINJA MUTHAFUCKA type.

“Now Charizard finish it off with a grand fireball combined with a dragon rage attack” and Charizard did one last set of seals and a fireball with a core of dragon rage appeared and set totodile on extra crispy.

I'd like my Totodile deepfried!

“Totodile is unable to battle the winners are Sasuke and Charizard”

Everyone cheered and Sasuke went up to Sakura and said “good battle oh and one more thing” “what?” “You battled so well that I think you are way better than Ino but I want to know why you didn’t tell anyone you were an Amazon warrior princess.” Wait. “how did you know?” Please I've had enough. No more! “The style you used with totodile and those water jutsu are the signature of them” “mind erase jutsu” and everybody except Sakura forgot what he just said


Relieving yourself is the greatest.

A few moments later “nooooo how can Sasuke-kun think that thick-forehead is better than me, waaaaaaaaah”

“Well that was awesome” said Naruto

As in, that was the biggest shitfest I've ever had to participate in!

“Thanks” said Sakura

after this ash was asked to take the hokage’s position “no way if I do that all you will do is get drunk and gamble” “darn how did you know what I was thinking”

I am a god! Fear my awesome mindpowers of DOOM!

“Shizune told me on her way to date Itachi” “whaaaat” “yeah Itachi took one look at her and fell in love with her at first sight heck he even quit akatsuki and revealed that he actually controlled by akatsuki like everyone else their when she broke the curse off of him and here they come now” “now Itachi you don’t have to carry me back honestly” “nonsense my angel Shizune you will hurt your delicate feet my angel from heaven” and Shizune just blushed at that “just ask me anything and I shall be your humble servant”



Just then Jairya did something perverted to Shizune “Itachi would you go and beat up Jairya for me?” she asked very sweetly “your wish is my command” and Itachi went and beat Jairya to an inch of death.

YAY! No go kill everyone else!

“Now that is handy” said Tsunade and Shizune agreed

“You are completely lucky Shizune you have one of the most feared men head over heals in love with you”

“Now then I am not going to be hokage Tsunade and if you try I will incinerate every sake bottle in the entire village”

“yes dad” she grumbled

Wait... What?

and so with their adventure over the said their goodbye’s to kahona and Sasuke and ash traded phone numbers and advice and left kahona but not before ash signed autographs due to the sudden discovery of his identity as a Pokemon trainer that nearly won the tournament and won a whole lot of tournaments and did you know that that they made trainer card that are like Pokemon cards, along with May and misty.

But when Sasuke said goodbye to may she went up and just kissed him straight on the lips “see ya” and Sasuke blushed like crazy, “yy-y-y—y-yeah see ya.”

And so they left for their journey once more.


Thank god! Now I can go do something more productive!


WHAT?!? I have to mock more!?

In the future Sasuke goes out of kahona and marries may and have a daughter and a son. Ash of course becomes a Pokemon master. He also marries misty and they never let their son watch TV because of the bully incident “hey how was I supposed to know that would blow up the school” “son this happened at the campout when you copied overheat! And that was ten times more powerful than that kamehameha you used from watching the old dragon ball GT videos! Do I have to seal your sharingan” “no!” he yelled and did a ki blast at the same time. “SOOOOOOOOON!” “see ya” “GET BACK HERE SO I CAN (BEEP) YOUR (BEEP) YOU (BEEP)!”


Thank you lord Jesus!

Side Story


Shizune x Itachi

Shizune was walking to the interrogation space. They had lifted a hypnoses jutsu off of Itachi and all Itachi did was wail out all the secrets. It was a village-wide event Sasuke was overjoyed that Itachi didn’t kill the entire clan on his own will. “Sasuke I’m so sorry for killing our family I’m so sorry I had no control over me waaaaaaaaah” and Itachi squeezed Sasuke in a bear hug “can’t breathe” said Sasuke “I’m so sorry I didn’t mean too oh no I almost killed my last relative waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh”

What about Madara? He doesn't get a hug of death?

“hokage-sama looks like that spell has done more damage to him than I thought” said Shizune just arriving” “stop crying Itachi uchia’s don’t cry this much and if you don’t you’re reputation is ruined” “sniff okay” “lets go home and discuss stuff” “okay let us leave dear brother” and the Uchia brothers left for their house

Why do I feel like Sasuke's gonna get raped?

“Shizune go after them just to check on Itachi”

Shizune headed to the uchia’s and when she got their Sasuke and Itachi discussed on reviving their clan

“Excuse me but-““and who might you be said Itachi with hearts in the background”

Bloody splattered hearts all over the walls!

“Shizune wait the spells still up however it works on the first female that he gets a strong crush on” said Tsunade just arriving

“what does that mean in my case” just then Itachi’s eyes glowed for a moment and stopped “it means if he got a strong crush on you he would obey your every command and would be helplessly in love with you of coarse that doesn’t work with fan girls” “fat chance of that happening” “said Shizune” “Oi Itachi who’s at the door” “heaven has bestowed upon me an angel that I am unworthy to be in her presence” Shizune blinked then fainted. “Itachi, Itachi hello you okay” “no and I didn’t see this coming” “I came to warn you that the spell around Itachi is still up but unlike the last one he has to have strong feelings with that person to be controlled” “so basically he has to be in love with that person?” asked Sasuke “yes and now what ever Shizune wants him to do he’ll do it”

Oh boy. Anything eh?

“Shizune and Itachi sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g” “quit it Sasuke and besides I remember your journal about a crush on a certain Pokemon coordinator goddess who you would happily become her slave if you weren’t an Uchia?” and Sasuke blushed so hard you would think Sasuke had eaten an apple-flavored gusher.”

Wow, an apple flavored gusher... that was the worst metaphor I've ever had to look at.

wow hokage-sama I had this weird dream that Itachi was in love with me” Shizune said waking up. “He is Shizune” “oh my angel what do you wish for me to do” said Itachi becoming hypnotized

HE is Shizune? So, Itachi's gender confused? Why not?

“Ummm kiss me?” and Itachi kissed her and after that Shizune eyes first went wide then her skin went red then she fainted.

“oh no is she okay?”

“yes she’s fine”

I gave her the kiss of death!

When Shizune got up Itachi asked her out and they went to a move and dinner.

And that is where they pass Tsunade and ash

Then they go home well Shizune has an apartment so Itachi invited her home and she slept in bed with them and that’s when the spell wore off.

“Shizune I won’t go around like a lost puppy but would you be my girlfriend” he said offering a ring on his knees


“Hey Itachi I hope you don’t mind me selling these photos to akatsuki, Orichimaru, Naruto, and the Hyuuga.” Said Sasuke as he waved photos of him and Shizune in bed “hey give me that and Itachi and Sasuke had a chase all around the village but not without them running through the Hyuuga complex. “Hey Hinata this reminds me of the time I looked thought your diary about your crush on Naruto and I still have those bruises” “hey you invaded my privacy you’re just lucky I didn’t turn you brain to mush with your cursed seal”

Hinata's violent in this? Okay, I really don't care anymore.

Back to the Uchia brothers Itachi had finally caught Sasuke and pounded him for the photos.

Then at last Shizune moved in with Itachi for her new life.

“Shizune you are sooooo lucky you have one of the most feared ninja as your boyfriend” said Kurenai.

What about Pain? I think he's way worse than a guy who killed his family, but is all of the sudden all nice and cute.

“Thank you Kurenai-sensei” Shizune said blushing. And they had a girl talk about Itachi and what their children would look like.

It doesn't matter. Itachi will just kill his new family... I hope.





Shizune and Itachi had 5 children each one strangely had mengenkyou sharingan at birth and Itachi was still studying that.

Side story


Haku x Kakashi

Kakashi was walking one day and went by the sculptor’s shop where Haku worked. “Hello Haku and how are you doing” and Haku blushed and the sculpture she was making shaped into Kakashi and the customer said “aha how did you know what I wanted” said the customer which happened to be a fan of kamahi’s. “wow here is like 1,000,000,000 yen” and she took the statue. “Wow Haku you really make a lot of money” and Haku blushed so hard she was about to faint from the blood rising to her head. “Umm ththththtththank you” and then she fainted with Kakashi catching her. When she woke up she was still being held by Kakashi and then she blushed big time. “Haku would you like to go out with me tomorrow”

Wouldn't her statues melt because they're made of ice?

“sis-s-s-sure” and with true Hinata style she fainted.



The Really Really End

Finally! I couldn't stand this for much longer. It was really hard for me to mock this, because I was a little tired and it was godawful. Luckily that was the end!

This post has been edited by Badass Overlord: Nov 9 2008, 05:05 PM

The Warring Triad
"Patience and penance. For millenia I have yearned to inact this vengeance! I am the end and the beginning! By my touch shall your wretched lives be blessed!" - Sephirot, the Fiend
"The unenlightened come...know you the full weight of death. Come forth, Scales of Revelation! I would know the weight of your souls. Can you bring... equilibrium?" - Sophia the Goddess
"Mine age of slumber is at an end. A thousand thousand suns may set, but the insult of mine imprisonment hath been etched upon mine eternal memory. I am come to mete out justice. To bestow the blessings of victory unending. I am Zurvan. He who standeth above all other gods. He who shall bring slaughter and ruin!" - Zurvan, the Demon
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Duchess of Fab

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post Nov 9 2008, 03:33 PM
What. The. Fuck.

I have nothing constructive to say, just that. (The mock was good, though.)

Hooray! That's almost like being gay, except even gayer!~ The Hutch

My new life philosophy is WWRD? (What Would Rorschach do?) Whenever a problem arises I shall punch someone, say 'hurm' and rant about whores and liberals.
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Yaoi Huntress Earth

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post Nov 9 2008, 05:57 PM
That is a bad job of something that could've been a cute, silly concept if done right. Good mock though.

"The ceiling is a floor, too, if you believe in yourself."-Lupin, Breaking Cat News

-Go see my coloring work at my Deviantart Account.
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(Now with a better link.)
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The Chosen

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post Nov 10 2008, 10:38 AM
This is just terrible. I had to stop halfway through, that's how bad the fic is. Not even a good mocking can save it. I feel like if I kept reading, I would get brain damaged.

Cor cordis
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G-Cups full of Despair

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post Nov 12 2008, 08:32 AM
What?! I can't believe you mocked this fic!! This fic is AWESOME! It's really cute, creative and entertaining!! I mean, just the very idea is fantastic!!! Naruto and Pokemon fits very well together and this fic made it possible!!!one!!1one!!

Naw, I'm just kidding, This fic sucks donkey balls. Great mock BO!

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#oh it's JUST tk
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post Nov 12 2008, 12:08 PM
You scared me for a second, Valkyrie.

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