Bokurano Redux, Reforged; Recaptured; Rejected
Bokurano Redux, Reforged; Recaptured; Rejected
Joined: 2-March 11
Member No.: 448
Jun 11 2011, 07:35 PM
Sorry it took so long to get this posted, Doctor O!
I've been really busy practicing for this year's festival! I know, I know... I've been doing this several years now, and I should be really good, but I'm not! I keep tripping and screwing up, mii. D:
Anyway, without further ado, here's the poop... erm, I mean fanfic!
I'll be writing in blue most of the time. Dr. O chose the evil color red! Scary!
So the author of that last fanfic, the Twilight fanfic, turned out to be disappointing, but I know that this author won't! The fanfiction is inspired by an anime called Bokurano, and I really liked it even though it made me really sad sometimes.
Wait, did somebody say Bokurano? I want in on this. This is Dr. O’s mock now, Rika. That would be me. I’m Dr. O.
Anyway, on with the fic!
Don’t you dare ignor-
I heard a voice...
Maybe it's my dead relatives trying to talk to me!
IS THAT YOU?
It was in the summer of our first year being middle school students that we had finally begun to see the true value of not only our lives, but of the whole world around us, as well.
This is fairly obvious irony, but still very well done! I'm so proud of you! Pachi pachi!
The weight of every single person on this planet was heaved unto our shoulders the day that we encountered 'it', despite how ignorant we had been of it at the time. And from the very moment that 'it' came into our lives, our youth had ended, leaving us to bear the true weight of adulthood and learn all that there was to being human.
Yes... we get "it".
“It” was a really annoying boss fight. Especially since you couldn’t cheese your way through it like with Krauser.
Through the days that the twenty of us endured together, we truly came to understand what it truly meant to live.
What it meant to hate.
If an evil clown told me what all of those things meant, I would be confused to.
(And now because of the awkward way you used “it”, I will forever think of the evil clown I wish I didn’t know about whenever I hear that simple word.
I hear that using sentence fragments is an excellent substitute for being thought-provoking. Here, look: I came to understand the meaning of a lot of things. To mock fanfics. To facepalm. To pick apart even the most miniscule flaws. Ooh look, I’m so philosophical.
The time had come, mii. To smile, mii. To laugh, mii. To throw tourists over the bridge, nipah.
You're right! It does work, mii!
Chapter 1: The Seaside Contractor
August 15, 2004
Sunlight shone brightly onto the countless graves of sand, heating the foot's sole for those among the twenty children that were not wearing sandals.
That was poor wardrobe choice.
But then people do silly things to be liked sometimes. Like wearing jeans that expose their panties. Or jumping off bridges whenever people tell them to.
(I don’t get that last one, but Satoko tells me it happens.)
With it being such a nice day out and their lessons done for the day, one of the dozen classes participating in the Mitomo City Summer Education Program had decided to take full advantage of such a day and enjoy a fun relaxing day at the city's beach.
This sentence is longer than it should be, I think.
But that’s small! You can still redeem yourself!
Many of the students barely knew each other, but those within the separate classes seemed to form their own type of posse. This class, in particular, seemed to take the most advantage of the fact that the summer school was actually by a BEACH, as the twenty classmates hardly saw anyone else from the summer school outside with them. A fact that they would find to be convenient for today, but could not see how inconvenient it would be for them in the days to come.
I get that you can foreshadow, and I think that's great, but can you... maybe move this story along?
All across the beach, all of the kids had found something to occupy themselves. Takashi Waku was rebounding his soccer ball off the rocks. Aiko Tokosumi decided to go for a swim in the ocean. Chizuru Honda just happened to be swimming, as well.
Thorough. To the point. Informative.
This fanfic is what every news station should be!
It's not what every fanfic should be though, nano-desu!
Daiichi Yamura and Mako Nakarai were sitting by the rocks and talking.
Bokurano had a huge cast, so by necessity most of them were little more than background characters for the majority of the show. Instead of trying to develop them all simultaneously, the writers would spend each episode on an individual or small group, thoroughly describing their background and motivation. It helped that the cast significantly shrank over the course of the show. I’m saying this because the fic’s author is introducing them by just throwing names at us, which kind of bodes.
I agree with you, daddy.
And I miss you very much.
Isao Kako was standing by the shore, gazing at Chizu swimming. Yosuke Kirie came up and made a comment to him, resulting in Kako slapping him in the back of the head.
"Hey, Kako. What are you doing?"
I put dialog in because you forgot it.
Try not to do it again!
Maki Ano and Maria Ichinose were playing frisbee with Yoko Machi and little Kana Ushiro, the youngest in the class. Kozue Kurasaka was laying on her towel, taking in the sun's rays, with her wheelchair by her side. She tried her best to ignore the game of frisbee, as she wished to join them, but knew it would be difficult for her to do so.
I feel like the author had to force himself not to keep going. It would have read: “Because she was in a wheelchair. Because her legs didn’t work. Which meant that she couldn’t jump around and have fun. Because her legs didn’t work.
Both Takami Komoda and Masaru Kodaka had decided to use this time out at the beach to read a book; Komo was reading what looked like a translated period piece from the west,
Well, at first glance anyway.
We actually find out that it's a translated modern piece from the EAST.
First glances are so deceiving.
OK, OK, so it was Twilight. Happy?
and Kodama was reading a science fiction novel. They both must have been very caught up into their books, as Kanji Yoshikawa and Nagi Namoto had been sitting by the two, hyping over the release of some new video game for Playstation that Maki had told them about earlier. Quietly sitting by the two was Tsubasa Hiiragi, one of Nagi's schoolmates.
I don’t mean to be rude, but… how long are you planning on keeping this going? You see, I’m very busy. There’s a butterfly in my coloring book with MY name on it. And you give me THIS?
Please get on with your story. Otherwise, there’s a Franklin-style school desk with YOUR name on it.
Kunihiko Moji, on the other hand, simply watched the others passed the early afternoon with happiness. He found it nice to be around such a lively bunch.
Lively how? Lively in the sense that it takes a long time for you to explain that they’re basically doing nothing?
Are we going to get descriptions for any of these people? Or is it just going to be “sandals list of names lively lol”
Well, save for one or two of the more dull ones who had kept to themselves, mainly Mayako Makishima and Jun Ushiro, Kana's older brother.
But I thought the whole point of bombarding us with dull, pointless text was to show us that there isn't anything interesting about this bunch!
I feel so cheated!
"Hey, Moji!" He turned to see Waku calling out to him, his right arm holding a soccer ball and his left arm waving him over.
"How long are you just gonna just sit there and stare, man? C'mon. How 'bout we play a quick game?"
"Waku," Moji warmly responded, "why would you bring a soccer ball out here? We're all the way on the beach, y'know."
The original Bokurano opening is quite deep, and the kids ask lots of big questions.
You would never find people saying things like “why would you bring a soccer ball out here?” The original writers might have come up with something like that, but then decided that it was silly and immediately erased it. Because they have sense.
"Yeah, but most of the others are either swimming or sunbathing on the rocks, and the only other thing going on is frisbee."
Which you can't do if you're in a wheelchair. So it was so nice of him to bring a soccer ball.
Waku then tossed the ball up in the air to bounce it off his foot. "And I'm a lot better at sports where I can kick something."
“Hey wheelchair kid! Wheelchair kid! Can you do this?
No you can’t. It’s because your legs are all screwed up and stuff!”
"Waku! Head's up!"
Before Waku could turn to face the familiarly tomboyish voice of Maki Ano, the accursed frisbee he went on about made a hard landing with the surface of his forehead, causing him to lose the kick of his soccer ball.
“Tomboyish.” So we know Maki’s a girl. With all the awesome description going on, I should make a spreadsheet to keep track of the characters.
Row A: Is in wheelchair y/n
Row B: Is wearing sandals y/n
Row C: Is of indeterminate gender
Row D: Preferred sport, soccer or frisbee
"Augh! Dammit, Maki! Would you watch your aim?"
"I think her aim was just about right." This sarcastic response came from none other than Maria, Waku's friend from school.
Well, who did you think it came from? Don Knotts?
It probably isn't him because he's dead.
...Rest in Peace Don Knotts. You will be remembered for all that you did for TV.
As Waku and the two girls went on, the rest of the group began to gather to the commotion.
"Hey, guys, something's actually happening!"
"Really?! I've waited my whole life for this!!"
"Man, you guys broke my balance. I had a good thirty kicks in a row going there."
"Oh, yeah?" Kako replied, eagerly grabbing the ball so as to show off, "I bet I could top that with no sweat."
Is that something boys do to show off? Because there was this one kid in my class who did that when nobody was looking, and I thought he was weird. It must just be something guys do…
But if he was showing off, why did he try to hide when he grabbed them? I’m so confused…
"Hey, you're more than welcome to try," replied Waku. Kako seemed to take this as an insult as he hastily tossed the ball to kick it, only to kick it hard into the rocks, causing it to rebound harshly.
...It doesn't like being kicked.
Everyone jolted their heads right at it with a fear of getting hit, mainly Kana, who the ball would of hit had it not been for the interception from Ushiro.
“It would have hit her but it didn’t.”
"Would you watch it, you moron? You're gonna give somebody a concussion," Ushiro said quite harshly to Kako.
"Hey, how was I supposed to know how hard to kick it?" Kako lamely responded, as if to excuse himself.
The author seems to frown upon people who kick balls too hard. So you know... don't do it. And don't lamely try to excuse your actions either. Because the fact is that's somebody's ball you're kicking.
"Like I've ever played soccer before." Nonetheless, a few of the kids still looked at him funny.
"Sometimes, we don't feel like we know you anymore! We get all attached, and then you pull stuff like this!"
“What do you think you’re doing? Not playing soccer is wheelchair girl’s job!”
"Guys, I'm right here..."
"Yes, but you're not ear level, so you can't hear us!"
"Hey, what's going on over here?" Anko asked curiously, returning from her swim with Chizu.
He kicked a ball too hard.
Since apparently nothing ever happens in this story, you'd better hit him with all of the anger you have inside. You're not getting another chance.
"Nothin' much," replied Kanji,
Opportunity missed=years of therapy.
"Waku and Kako were just having a little kick-off."
"C'mon, Kako. Kana could have gotten hurt..." Kirie added in before facing another slap across the head by Kako's hand.
What are you doing?
Your reaction makes no sense!
His reaction makes no sense!
I’m more concerned with how someone gets slapped across the head.
"Okay! would you all quit rubbing it in my face? God!" Kako seemed to be really agitated by Kirie's small comment, as if everyone in the class was ganging up on him.
I imagine they're all holding blunt objects and pounding them menacingly against the palms of their hands too, mii.
"Aw, just forget about it, guys," Maya replied from the sidelines, picking up the frisbee that hit Waku's head. "Let's just let bygones bey bygones and enjoy the nice day," she added as she tossed the frisbee with a hard aim.
You don’t want to be soft on aiming. It’s a hot-button issue that’s been the end of many a politician’s career.
I don't understand...
The group couldn't help but notice how much distance the frisbee got, almost as if the wind was dragging towards a specific area, guiding it down a singular path. The frisbee then proceeded to drift across the ocean, heading towards what appeared to be a shack out in the sea connected to the shore by a small pier. Eventually, the frisbee managed to go so far that it tapped the window of the shack.
Could it be...
A plot point?!
"Jeez, Maya," Kanji stated, "I wouldn't have thought that you'd be able to throw THAT far."
Kanji-Olympics Frisby Champion 2004
"My bad," Maya retorted, showing slight embarrassment.
"Well, I guess we're going to have to go get it," Waku soon implied. "I hope whoever lives there won't be too pissed off, or anything."
No. But he might eat you for dinner if you’re not careful.
...Don't take candy if he offers it to you!
They had no idea that the owner of that shack had their eyes on them throughout the whole day.
They need an adult?
He is an adult!
Soon, the whole group arrived at the shack to apologize. Maki and Maria had originally wanted to go apologize by themselves, since it was their frisbee in the first place, but eventually Waku managed to convince everyone to come along.
Because adults who love children are sneaky like that, nano-desu!
But you know, they can be pretty funny too though, so I'm not mad!
The shack, slightly worn and very damp in appearance, was made more difficult to approach by the narrowness of it's pier, so the kids had to approach it single-file. Waku stayed behind a bit to help Kozue get across. Eventually, they all made way to the shack's large patio and faced the crooked-looking door.
I know what you’re thinking. If you’re trying to lure kids, why would you make your house so difficult to approach?
My answer is that the harder it is to approach, the harder it is to run away.
"So, who's gonna knock?" Kako asked, nervously, "Well, don't think of asking me to do it. I wasn't the one who overshot the stupid frisbee."
"No, YOU overshot the soccer ball that almost gave my sister head trauma," Ushiro retorted, immediately pissing Kako off.
This doesn’t make any sense!
"Whatever, I'll knock." And so Ushiro proceeded to do so.
He should have surprised them by not doing it.
That would have been very surprising indeed.
The door was almost immediately answered by a tall, pale-looking man who looked to be about in his late thirties with white hair and rimmed glasses. The man appeared to be almost as friendly as he did shady at the same time.
So the guy who sits in his house all day and watches you play, all alone in a house with nobody watching him, in a house that’s almost impossible to get into, is shady?
That’s a surprise! I’m not sure if I can process all that…
"Oh, can I help you children?" The man inquired.
"Well, uh," Machi nervously began, feeling slightly off-put, "Y'see, we were kinda playing on the beach, and we accidently threw that frisbee over there towards your house, and..."
This is when you stop, drop, and roll, nano-desu.
Satoko taught me that. You run away while they’re paralyzed by confusion.
"Oh, so that was you kids. That was you kids..." The man murmured to himself, "Well, don't worry about it. It looks like you barely scratched it, anyway."
Yeah, Machi! Throw it harder next time!
"W-well..." Machi went on, "I guess we'll just take it and be on our way, then..."
"Oh, wait. Do you have to leave right now?" The man almost immediately asked, "Are you sure you wouldn't want to stay for a bit? Maybe if I could offer you some tea-"
This is where you say, “No.” If he had written in people that made any sense, they would all be gone, far away. Sure, the original was creepy, but he didn’t sit alone in a shack and watch children playing.
"Thanks, but we really should be go-" Maki began, but then she caught a glimpse of some of the man's inner possessions, discovering that his shack was chockfull of computers. "Hey, mister, what's up with the crazy setup?"
DDoS attacks, duh. Kokopelli is a one-man cyber army.
"Oh right, my computers. My computers..." The man replied,
This man has to repeat things to himself twice to process them...
Don't laugh! It's a serious disorder!
"Well you see, I'm actually here working on this project, and I usually come here from time to time for some inspiration for development on certain ideas. Game development, if you will."
"Wait, you mean you're a game developer?" Nagi immediately asked with much enthusiasm.
It’s simple, really. He pisses away millions of dollars doing nothing, then releases a buggy beta and lets other people fix it with patches and DLC. Then the people who bought it complain about consoles ruining the industry.
It's funny because it happens in real life, nipah.
"Oh, yes, I am. Yes, I am..." He replied very monotonously, "To be honest, I was just working on a new game for which I could use kids like yourselves."
The kids looked at him very cautiously due to that comment. "Oh, as beta testers, of course. Of course...Why don't you come inside and I'll tell you all about it."
This paragraph needs no comment.
“My, what big bandwidth you have,” said Little Red Riding Machi.
“The better to download lolicon with,” said the kindly old man.
Though they felt very weary of him, the kids ended up coming into his shack. It was much more spacious than it looked from the outside, though surprisingly the only source of light the man had in his shack aside from his computer monitors came from his windows; he didn't have a single lamp or light of any kind in his roof.
In his ROOF?
Now I'm very confused.
"So, what sort of game ARE you making here?" Nakama asked very straightforwardly.
It’s an indie 2D sidescrolling platformer that appears innocent at first, but uses the simplicity of its characters and environments to create a bleak atmosphere that “gaming journalists” will describe as artistic.
Or a Super Mario World ROM hack.
That’s Nakama for you. Straight to the point. She doesn’t take anybody’s nonsense.
…So who’s Nakama again?
"Oh, it's a very interesting game, actually, though the setup is a tad cliché" The man quickly answered, "The game centers around an invasion from a certain number of enemies, specifically twenty enemies in this case. And the only defense that the Earth has to protect itself will be a colossal robot, nay, a pitch black behemoth, gifted with strength beyond mortal reckoning. This robot, kids, is to be helmed by none other than...yourselves."
“And… some other stuff, but that doesn’t matter really.
Oh no. Not at all. Not at all…”
"Dude, that DOES sound pretty cool!" Maki stated. There seemed to be a bright shine in her eyes.
But it was actually not a bright shine at all. It was a komodo dragon! With intense, fiery eyes! And a tail made out of lizard bones!
…I need to stop. I’m scaring myself now, mii.
"Yeah, I'm game." Kanji added.
"Well," said Waku, "I don't mind trying it out, I guess."
"Me neither," said Moji.
"Oh, well then," The man enthusiastically interjected. He then pulled out a red, arrow-like metal plate "If you're all interested, all you have to do is place you hand on this plate to 'contract' yourselves as pilots. It sounds corny, I know, but it'll be necessary for my program's server to let you play the game."
Oh! That reminds me of that one scene in that movie!
They were trying to get into the dragon pit, but they couldn’t get in, so they found a wall and one of the characters cut himself and he was bleeding all over the rocks!
And then the dragon killed him. And I cried.
I guess the lesson is don’t put your hands on foreign objects if you don’t know what you’re getting into.
Deception- it’s a lie inside a lie.
I had to participate in an arcane ritual to sign the EULA for Angry Birds. Worth it.
"Okay, I'll try it out," Waku said as he placed his hand on the plate. A text then flickered on one of the man's computers.
Takashi Waku, Age 13, Type B, Born March 20th 1991.
"W-whoa..." Waku stated with much surprise, "How does it know all that about me?"
“Because I stole your medical records before I abducted you.
Oh, by the way. You’re all abducted.
"Cool! Can I try next?" Maki asked excitedly.
Maki Ano, Age 13, Type O, Born July 19th 1991.
"Me too!" Kako hastily interjected.
Isao Kako, Age 13, Type B, Born August 4th 1991.
Soon, many of the others started to sign up.
The blood type isn’t really that important, is it? You could have just showed us once, right?
I think it’s a Japanese thing. But the author of this fanfic isn’t Japanese.
He’s just clueless.
Kunihiko Moji, Age 13, Type AB, Born June 20th 1991.
Mako Nakarai, Age 12, Type A, Born September 9th 1991.
Tsubasa Hiiragi, Age 13, Type AB, Born June 22nd 1991.
Kanji Yoshikawa, Age 13, Type O, Born March 3rd 1991.
I don’t even know my blood type. I think it’s some type of A. Maybe.
I still donate, of course. It’s just that blood type isn’t ever going to matter to me unless I need a transfusion, so it’s a curiosity at best. Also this part is stupid.
Jim Carrey is IB positive.
IB positive they ain’t sticking me with no needle.
(Rolling on the floor, laughing) Gets me every time. XD
Daiichi Yamura, Age 13, Type A, Born May 19th 1991.
Maria Ichinose, Age 13, Type O, Born April 28th 1991.
Nagi Namoto, Age 13, Type AB, Born June 18th 1991.
Aiko Tokosumi, Age 13, Type B, Born August 12th 1991.
Kozue Kurasaka, Age 13, Type B, Born July 11th 1991.
Yoko Machi, Age 12, Type B, Born December 5th 1991.
Masaru Kodaka, Age 13, Type O, Born December 29th 1990.
Takami Komoda, Age 13, Type A, Born March 15th 1991.
Chizuru Honda, Age 13, Type AB, Born February 14th 1991.
Author- “Oh no! How do I fill up an entire page?!”
Ain’t that the truth. You know, in Bokurano this scene was interesting because instead of just throwing names at us, it showed each of the kids making a decision. It was what started off the whole plot. So why does it get less description than kicking a soccer ball?
Kirie had been next in line to sign up, but he seemed to be very hesitant in making his decision.
"What's up, Kirie?" Waku curiously asked.
"I...I dunno, guys," Kirie nervously mumbled, "I'm just not sure about all this-" but before he could finish, Kako impatiently slapped his hand on the pad.
Yosuke Kirie, Age 12 Type A, Born October 15th 1991.
"Hey, what the hell, Kako?" Waku stated. "Couldn't you've given him a minute to think about it?"
"Hey, the sooner we all sign up, the sooner we can play," Kako simply stated. Maya then proceeded to sign up. She seemed to give a smirk as she did so.
But it was actually a face full of rage.
Mayako Makishima, Age 12, Type A, Born August 29th 1991.
Next to go up was Kana. Before signing up, however, she took a hopeful look at her brother.
"Jun, aren't you going to play, too?" Kana asked.
"Nah, I don't think so." Ushiro simply stated.
"But," Kana added, "I'd really like you to play, too. Otherwise it won't be as fun."
"C'mon, Ushiro," Waku butted in, "If we end up not liking it, we can always quit." The man looked at Waku sympathetically for making that statement.
No they can’t. Should have read the whole thing before clicking on “accept.”
Now they’re all going to turn into big, scary monsters when they give up on the world and their hearts are filled with despair!
And that’ll make me sad, but unfortunately, life is cruel like that. [color]
Ushiro finally gave in. "Oh, fine, I'll do it. You go ahead and sing up first Kana. I'll do it after."
[color=blue] Apparently, Ushiro has a fear of karaoke.
Feeling a bit happier, Kana proceeded to sign up as her brother asked her to do, with her brother following, as he promised.
Kana Ushiro, Age 10, Type O, Born June 25th 1994.
Jun Ushiro, Age 12, Type A, Born Noember 20th 1991.
"Oh, well judging from your ages, I would guess that you children are in middle school." The man assessed.
"Well, aside from Kana, yes," Waku retorted, "So how exactly do we play this game of yours, Mr...Oh. What's your name, anyway?"
The man hesitated for a moment. "Oh, well...You can just call me 'Kokopelli'."
The children looked at this Kokopelli person very curiously, after claiming to have a name as peculiar as THAT. "Just think of it as a pen name, if you'd like," Kokopelli quickly added. He then took a long pause.
“So, we were actually just wondering why the author wasted his time writing a fic like this.”
“Well, you’re the same person. We all appear to be more or less the same ensemble. So what gives? He couldn’t come up with anything better to do than rewrite the show?
I would complain, but sometimes replacing characters is a very bad idea.
Yes, but under the circumstances, it could be...
Oh, never mind, mii. No matter what this author does, it will be failure.
I had hope for you kid, but Twilight girl is beating you, nipah.
"Well, it seems the game has now begun."
The curios feelings the kids held towards Kokopelli only grew greater from that one line.
I lost the game.
Thought you ought to know.
Also, this line is terrible. Did he even bother with spell check? Sorry writer… you disappoint.
"Hang on," Kozue inquired, slightly leaning towards him from her chair, "Isn't this supposed to be a computer game, or something?" He noticed that the gaze in Kokopelli's eyes began to darken.
"No, I'm afraid not," Kokopelli stated very abruptly. "That will all be made very clear to you, very soon."
“So then, you lied to us all?”
“No. I just misled you.”
“Yeah… but I didn’t.” *wink*
"...Where's that lifetime supply of Wonka bars you promised me?"
The kids stared at him far more curiously than before, as if they were talking to a whole other person. "The next time we meet, I will demonstrate how to play the game to you. Until then, please try not to worry."
And before the kids could say anything, a wave of static overwhelmed them.
This static is in a wave!
And it is overwhelming me. mii!
(Sorry. Didn’t mean to shout in your ear.)
(I'm talking to the reader. Not to the departed spirit of my father who has taken up residence here.)
"Ugh, what happened...?" Daichi felt very sore after waking up from his nap on the rocks, although the nice and calm sunset upon the shoreline was able to help him feel a bit better. "Jeez, how late is it...Aw, man! Did I get left behin-"
Your friends just plain don’t like you. So they found you the least comfortable bed in the world and abandoned you on it.
But before he could finish, he immediately noticed that all the other kids were around him, and were sleeping as well. Waku slowly started to awaken from the deep pitch of Daichi's voice.
"Nmm...Hey, Daichi...Ugh, what time is it?" Waku groggily asked.
"I'd have to say it's pretty late in the afternoon," Daichi responded. "Look behind you." And so Waku slowly turned to face the sunset.
When somebody says to look behind you, don’t.
Always look in front of you.
Because that’s the only way you’ll see the semi truck.
"Man, that's beautiful...wait...Aw, man!" Waku suddenly realized exactly HOW late it must have been. "The teach is gonna throw a fit if we're late for dinner. Hey guys, get up!"
Slowly, all of the other classmates began to awaken from their mysterious slumber. As they all got up, nobody had made mention of how it is they came to sleep on the beach, or about the strange dream they unknowingly all shared: that dream about the man at the shack who signed them all into that strange game with the robot.
Intense waking up action.
Then they dreamed that they were flat characters in a terrible fanfic.
And they all agreed that would be very bad.
Once they had returned to the school building, the teacher had given them but a light scolding on the late hour of their arrival before letting them eat in the dining hall. Kids from the other classes that were in the dining hall snickered at them. As they all sat together, eating their dinners and conversing with one another, Maki couldn't help but let out a sigh pinging towards disappointment.
I had no idea Maki knew how to echolocate.
"What's wrong, Maki?" Moji asked.
"Ah, nothing really, guys," Maki replied, "It's just that game seemed like it'd be really fun...Aw never mind. I'm just talkin' about that stupid dream I had."
Everybody else: “It’s a good thing that dream wasn’t real. Because then we’d all have to fight giant robots. And maybe even die.”
Maki: “It’s a very bad thing that dream wasn’t real. Because now we can’t fight giant robots. And we might even live.”
Yet he noticed that as soon as he mentioned 'game', everyone gave him a slightly shocked look of disbelief. "W-wait a minute. Do...do you guys know what I'm talking about?"
"That...that dream," Kirie quietly replied, "about the man in the shack who wanted us to play a game, right?"
“It’s called ‘find the popsicle,’” Kokopelli said, his voice dropping to a delighted whisper. “The popsicle is in my pants.”
…But that would just make it melt quicker.
"Y-yes. Exactly..." Maki said with amazement.
I know, right? I don’t get his humor either!
"That's too weird," Anko added to the disbelief. "We couldn't have all had the same dream, right?"
"Then that could only mean," Chizu plainly replied, "that it wasn't a dream at all."
Dun dun DUUUUN!
The reality is that we’re still in the dream. The dream just is just two levels deep, nano-desu.
Or maybe even three!
...Nah. That’s just silly.
"In that case," Maria inquired, "wasn't that Kokopelli guy supposed to teach us about the ga-"
DON’T… SAY IT.
I’VE LOST TWO MANY TIMES TODAY.
But before she could finish, a huge rumbling sound vibrated through the building, knocking everyone onto the ground. But before the group hit the floor, the static wave overtook them once again.
Reality gets terrible reception out there. They should consider wrapping the antenna in tin foil.
Whenever I want to avoid static, I just don’t stick metal objects in plug thingies.
Because static hurts.
They were still lying on the ground, but they all noticed immediately that it wasn't the ground of their school building. Rather, they found themselves in a rounded, spacious, brown-tinted area.
Brown-tinted, eh? Must be a 360 game.
"W-where the hell are we?" Kako immediately asked, expecting someone to give him a quick and simple response.
"This is the cockpit," a voice replied to Kako. A voice familiar in his dreams. In all of their dreams.
The children then all turned to find that Kokopelli was in fact among them, sitting within a black armchair with three slender legs among a large ring of other types of strange chairs. He appeared differently than he did at first, however, as he now lacked the glasses he had on, making his eyes appear very narrow and hawklike, and had a large scar across his left cheek. He was also dressed completely in a long-sleeved black body suit with black boots. He almost appeared like a shadow, were it not for the pale gleam of his skin and long hair.
See, you can describe things!
And not one sandal description!
"I told you, didn't I?" Kokopelli asked. "We meet again, so now I am going to show you how to operate this robot."
"What?" Waku exclaimed. "We're actually inside a ROBOT right now?"
“It’s like my Japanese animes!”
You’re inside Al Roker’s stomach.
He ate you.
And now your duty is to control Al Roker, and have him fight giant robots.
"Don't beileve me?" Kokopelli plainly responded. "See for yourself." The kids noticed that the brown-tint had disappeared, and replacing it was a breathtaking view of the entire area around them.
Breathtaking, eh? Must be a Super Nintendo game, nipah.
"Al Roker's Terrific Rampage 2000"
The kids could see the beach, their school building, the city across. And just below them, they were able to make out a pair of long, black legs jetting to the ocean from beneath them. They WERE inside of a robot.
Kokopelli said they were in a robot, then they discovered they were in a robot. Best plot twist ever, 10/10.
No! Your eyes deceive you!
Do not abandon your Al Roker bot!
"This is incredible..." Kodama said without realizing that he was speaking out loud.
"Yeah, it's awesome," Maki replied. However, her attention drifted as a bright flash caught her eye. "Hey, what's that in front of us?" she pointed out. The kids all turned to face the front and see that Maki was not lying. A figure began to emerge before the robot from some kind of rift.
"It's time" Kokopelli said, with words filled with shear remorse.
No. Sheer remorse is when you really regret something. Shear remorse is when you feel bad about shaving a sheep.
-End of Ch.1-
In the next chapter: The strange game finally begins to unfold, as the mysterious man known only as Kokopelli shows the kids how to operate the black behemoth to fight against the enemy that emerges before them.
Just how does this game work? Just who is Kokopelli? And what, if anything, could he have to hide? Find the answers to these questions in Chapter Two: Kokopelli vs. Arachne!
I already know the answers because everything that happened (which wasn’t much) was the same as in Bokurano. I could just watch the show, which has the advantage of a soundtrack, voice acting, pacing that isn’t terrible, and characters who are more than just a name, birth date, and blood type. Oh, and Dung Beetle. He’s cool.
Auugh! Finally done with my first chapter, again. Sorry about the late start. Sorry also that this seems a lot like a crappy republishing of the first chapter from my original work. I will do all that I can to change things in this work soon enough. I write this fanfic with hopeful intent that readers will read stories like these and inform their friends of this manga/anime, because BOKURANO DESERVES MORE FANS!
But maybe if you wanted more people to watch it, you wouldn’t write a bad novelization of the show. Instead you could, I don’t know, write a review of it. Or tell people you know about it. Maybe post on a forum. Rika told me about Bokurano, and she didn’t need a fanfic to do it. She just told me to watch it because she thought I’d enjoy it. And I did.
But I guess listing names and blood types is the hot new way to get people into a show. It’s like, viral marketing or something.
Thank you for reading, and please try to stay tuned for the next chapter.
Well, that was… fun. Thanks for sharing, Rika.
I’M HIGH ON LIFE AND I DON’T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
This post has been edited by Rikafurude: Jun 12 2011, 02:55 AM
I know I annoy you. I'm okay with it.
Joined: 2-March 11
Member No.: 449
Jun 13 2011, 06:32 PM
Oh. That was me, by the way.
No idea how that happened.
I know I annoy you. I'm okay with it.
Joined: 2-March 11
Member No.: 449
Aug 10 2011, 01:23 PM
Chapter 2: Kokopelli vs. Arachne
August 15, 2004
A few seconds after the large impact, the children in the dining hall slowly began to get back up on their feet.
Ambiguity. You gotta love it.
In the year 2004, stuff was beginning.
Many of them were in a state of question and panic, curious if that impact may have been an earthquake, unquestioning to how any earthquake could be so short. And then, the children were faced with a second impact, immediately knocking them all on the ground once more. By this time, the teachers had all entered the dining hall to evacuate the children to the city's shelter.
As the respective classes hurried outside of the building to evacuate, they couldn't help but notice that out in the ocean, there were two colossal figures facing each other. The first, a black, humanoid creature with long slender arms and legs, with elongated plates jetting out from its chest towards its shoulders. The second, a pale white, insect-like creature with four long legs holstering it and two smaller pairs beneath it, dominated by a rounded head with a small tongue-like appendage in the front.
Sentences the length of a subway. On top of trapezes. Demonstrating sentence fragments, nipa~!
Before any of the children had time to react to the sight before them, the teachers kept moving them along to evacuate.
Being rushed to safety.
Don’t you hate when that happens?
See, this is what’s wrong with our education system. These kids are never going to learn any independence if we keep sheltering them from every little problem like giant monsters. Let a few of them get crushed; next time maybe they’ll show a little personal initiative, evacuate on their own.
Apparently, they were already aware that these two creatures were the cause of the rumbling earlier,
NO. Two earthquakes in a row just happened to knock you off your feet right after your trippy dream sequence. There’s no connection at all.
and were urging the kids away from them for their own safety. The teachers were able to see to it that all of their classes were safely away, except for a few that they couldn't seem to find anywhere within the school area;
It was no major loss. They were flat characters anyway.
the same group of children that came in later than the others for dinner.
This same group of kids were now standing in the cockpit of one of these enormous creatures, amazed to see how the insect-like creature had seemed to appear before them out of nowhere.
"Ugh," Anko exclaimed, with a grossed-out tense, "What's that gross looking thing supposed to be, anyway?"
The grossed-out tense was largely abandoned during the transition to modern English due to its similarity to future imperfect.
…It’s a bit tough to say, but I think the author wants our attention drawn to the grossness of this sentence, mii.
"That is the first enemy," Kokopelli retorted, apparently unfazed by it's appearance, "that must be defeated to protect the Earth."
"Protect the Earth?" Waku stated, surprised by such a general response as that. "You mean that thing is a threat to the whole planet?"
Nah. Giant evil mechas will play nicely in your sandbox if you treat them well enough!
"Unless the enemies much like this one are defeated within 48 hours, it is almost guaranteed that they will go on a rampage and attack everything within their path," explained Kokopelli.
Because obviousness is always obvious.
"Why 48 hours?" asked Maki.
That’s how long until their supply of weed and sun chips runs out. And they will do anything to get more.
"That is the maximum amount of time allowed to operate the robot," Kokopelli continued to instructively explain. "Any longer, and the power supply of the robot will eventually give in, and it will no longer be operational."
This comment caused some discontent amongst the kids.
"Don't worry," Kokopelli reassured, "If you focus on the way that I battle the enemy, you should be able to defeat it long before the time limit is up."
”If not, well… we have parachutes in the back for you…
That’s a lie. There are no parachutes.
Please kill it fast.”
Before the kids could ask anything else, they noticed that a small pack of military jets were flying over the robot that they were riding in.
"Whoa," Maki stated, "Those must be from the Self Defense Force."
That’s right. In this alternate universe, nerds grew so tired of being bullied that they stopped taking martial arts and started piloting fighter jets.
"So that's the military of this planet..." Kokopelli murmured to himself. Waku had overheard him, however, and was about to ask what he was implying, when he noticed that the enemy began to move forward.
"Hey!" Waku pointed out, "It looks like the enemy's spotted them, or something!"
"No," Kokpelli retorted, "It's beginning its attack on us."
You mean the giant robot is ignoring the tiny jets and focusing on the other giant robot instead?
Its grasp of
The kids soon found that he was not lying, as a massive array of lighting-type energy was being formed from the orb in the center of the enemy's head, releasing a powerful bolt at their robot. This attack drew the kids into some slight panic, but Kokopelli remained unfazed by its attack.
"Jeez!" Nagi exclaimed, "What the hell kind of an attack is that!"
It strikes all characters, whether well-developed or not.
In short, what we’re looking at is an enemy that does not discriminate its casualties. An uninhibited menace of titanic proportio-
"Nothing to worry about," Kokopelli reassured,
"That was nothing more than a low-powered attack. It will barely do any damage to the robot. Now, perhaps we should try to attack, as well."
But first, let me narrate as the enemy bludgeons us to death.
He’s a game designer, not a fighter.
Actually, he’s not really a game designer either. He’s just an old man who likes children.
The kids were still slightly shocked by the very real sensation of the enemy's attack that had lightly echoed through the surface of the cockpit, but before any of them could say anything, they began to notice that their robot was beginning to move towards the enemy.
You’re supposed to avoid filler words, nano~desu!
"W-what?" Maria blurted, "Are we moving?"
The fact that these characters point out every detail is very convenient to the author…
Oh wait! The author’s behind their characterization, isn’t he?
Pretty sneaky, sir.
The kids were unsurprised to see how quickly Kokopelli retorted. "It's a very basic system of operation, really. Simply command the actions of the robot with your thoughts of its actions, and it will obey and execute them. This is my first time moving it and even I find it to be relatively easy."
I think we have established that the robot is moving. Maybe. If not, we can spend another two paragraphs on it.
"First time?" Kozue questioned. "But I thought that you made this game!"
"No, I'm afraid that I wasn't completely honest with you, at first," Kokopelli replied. "You see, like you kids, I am no more than a mere pawn in the greater meaning of this game."
It’s a game inside of a game inside of a game.
The kids were put at strong unease at this comment, when Kokopelli replied, "Please pay no mind to it. For now, simply sit back and watch so as to learn how to win the game." And with that, the kids were forced to draw their attention to the battle.
Just wait until they find out it’s impossible to win. I’m sure we’ll get a few pages of the characters restating the obvious when that happens.
And then they all die.
As their robot moved closer to the enemy, it had begun to move towards them, as well, though the kids noticed that the enemy moved slightly slower than them, the likely reason being that their robot was bipedal, while the enemy had four legs to work with.
Umm… not to critique… but doesn’t this just slow you down putting this here, mii?
I mean… you really should have said something sooner…
As the distance between the two grew shorter,
YES. WE GET IT. IT’S FREAKING MOVING FORWARD.
Really? I didn’t notice.
the enemy tried to use it's front limbs to attack them. It managed to execute a powerful swing upon the right side of their robot, as they felt a portion of the force from its swing.
"Hmm," Kokopelli noticed that the blow had caused some of the side armor to chip. "This method of attack isn't quite as effective for it, either. Still, if we don't start fighting back now, there could be problems."
“There could be problems if I keep sitting here narrating what’s going on instead of doing something.”
So, they’re pretty much doomed, right?
"T-Then hurry up and start fighting back, already!" Kako shouted nervously.
"I know. Don't panic."
Being murdered by robots? Hey, bro…
And with that, Kokopelli used the arm of the robot to pierce into the pit of the enemy's front left limb, a multitude of thin lasers shooting out of the arm in the process.
"Wait," Moji asked, "this robot has an energy attack, too?"
"Yes," Kokopeli replied, "The robot comes standard with a high-powered laser pulse that can be emitted from any part of the structure. While it isn't as effective for external damage as the robot's incredible raw strength is, it can do a vast range of damage to the internal structure."
As a result from the lasers, the limb was quickly torn off, causing the enemy to stumble and draw back. Kokopelli replied to this by moving further towards the enemy and repeating the tactic with both arms to its two rear limbs. After which, the enemy leaped high through the cloud of smoke that the lasers caused and onto the mountain range nearby the school.
"It's trying to run away," Maya pointed out.
Hanyuu, get this girl a gold star.
"That's no good." Kokopelli quickly rushed towards the enemy and slammed the robot's arm into its chest so as to knock it over. It then pinned the enemy to the ground with its arm. "If the enemy manages to evade us for too long, it will begin to regenerate and its strength will likely increase greatly."
"Is...is there anyway to defeat it, altogether?" Kirie quietly asked.
Talking at it obviously doesn’t work, or it’d be dead already.
"Yes. In fact, there is only one way," Kokopelli grimly replied. Following his reply, the robot used its spare arm to tear away at the chest of the now cornered enemy, despite its attempts to shove the robot back. As it tore away further, the children saw that a large, spherical center lay in the middle of the enemy's now exposed chest. Kokopelli tore this sphere from its chest and held it up for the children to see.
"This is the way," he explained. "Each of the enemies that must be fought contains a certain core that allows them to regenerate. It usually varies in location within the enemy, but it will most often be located in the chest area. It is absolutely for you to find this core,
When you forget a word while saying something important, people tend to understand less of what you’re saying.
and see to it that you completely destroy it." And with that, the robot emitted a smaller laser attack from the palm of its hand, obliterating the core to smithereens and notably killing the enemy, as the illumination in its face slowly died out.
A giant robot fights monsters that can only be killed by the destruction of their “core.” Hmm…
"Well, I suppose that's all that there is to it," Kokopelli soon stated. "Now that my part is finished, it will be your turn the next time around to fight for the protection of the earth. Good luc-"
“We’re all counting on you.”
Well, that’s that! Now go kill more giant mechas and stuff!
"Wait," Ushiro butted in. "There are still some more things that I think we need to cover."
What are you, stupid?
What more do you need to know?
I know, right? If someone gave me a robot that can shoot lightning out of any part of its body, I wouldn’t need an instruction manual to start wrecking stuff.
This time, Kokopelli took longer to reply to the statement than usual. This moment of taking his time to answer seemed very off-putting and put the kids at a bit of worry when he finally responded.
Author, this sentence is quite disappointing.
Please write better.
"Don't worry about that," Kokopelli finally replied. "My job as the demonstrator may be over, but I will still be here as your guide. Although the next time you see me, I may not quite be the same person you are familiar with, now."
…Meaning he’s going to use the winnings he got from this robot fight to buy that gender change he’s always dreamed of.
Before Ushiro could reply to this, he noticed that the robot and the enemy began to disappear. The others soon followed his gesture.
Uh… what gesture? Did I miss something?
"It looks like our time is up, for now." They looked back up to face Kokopelli's back as he stated this. "Until we meet again, I will be here if you ever need me." The kids soon felt a strange pressure, and realized that the static would soon take them over again. Before they teleported, Ushiro could swear that he heard a faint whisper come from the man.
Forgive monsters for hiding under my bed and terrifying me until I was like seven years old?
And suddenly the kids found themselves back in the dining hall of the school, Except now they were the only people present within it.
"Hey, where is everybody?" Kana asked.
"I don...WAIT!" Nakama responded. "They must have all evacuated to the center square for shelter."
Hanyuu, get him/her a gold star.
The author didn’t develop this character enough for me to know the gender, so I won’t bother looking it up.
What are you talking about, Rika? Nakama isn’t a person, it’s a trope! Concepts can’t be gendered. I think.
"Crap!" Waku exclaimed. "We'd better hurry before they start to worry too much about us!"
So the group quickly rushed out of the building to Mitomo's center square to meet up with the teachers and other students.
Once they arrived, sure enough, they were met by their teacher who assured them a great deal of hell to pay for going off like that, but it was nothing that couldn't be discussed later. So the kids were sent off into one of the unoccupied parts of the square to rest for safety. As they went, they noticed that the other classes began to look at them funny and whisper about them. They finally arrived to an unoccupied corner and sat next to one another in a circle.
But what was the diameter of the circle? We need to know these things, fic.
"Unbelievable," Daichi stated. "I-I just can't believe that all really just happened."
"But you guys saw, right?" Tsubasa responded. "Just before we left, the robot was still fazing away into the air."
"Yeah, we all saw it. It must've happened," Kozue quickly retorted.
"So, we really are gonna pilot it, huh?" Waku stated.
"Man, I can't wait for my turn!" Kako blurted out. "I bet I'm going to kick the next enemy's butt!"
I like Kako. He wants to actually get stuff done. But there’s one thing bothering me…
Which one is Kako?
"Hold on, Kako," Nakama added to Kako's statement. "Try not to take this too lightly. Because we have to pilot it, that also means that we have the whole world depending on us."
"But, that also makes us like heroes, or something, right?" Maki asked enthusiastically.
"Yeah! Absolutely!" Nagi retorted to bring some spirit into the group's mood. "This is going to be awesome!"
Interesting how nobody raises any further objections…
Oh, no. It’s just that I think they’d care more about… their own LIVES?
…They make me embarrassed to be a child.
And this author makes me embarrassed to know how to read.
"Well,...that still means we'll have to try all the harder," Kirie added, "to see to it that we succeed."
"Well, at any rate," Maria stated, "it's at least agreed that there's no turning back. We're all in this together right?" They all nodded in greement.
By the way, aren’t you supposed to not have your characters all talk at once? Or at least separate their dialog?
…Oh, no. Keep doing what you’re doing, you silly “writer”.
"Also, it would probably be better for us to keep this a secret," Chizu calmly stated. They looked at her curiously over this comment. "I mean, if we tell anyone about it, we may lose our chance to pilot it."
So you’re misled into piloting a giant robot by some guy who may or may not be a pedo, and your main concern is whether or not you’ll get to keep endangering your life for no adequately explored reason other than to be a “hero”?
Well, is that right, Mr. writer man?
"Agreed," Moji replied. "We're all in this together, so it's our secret to keep together." Everybody nodded in agreement once more.
The fate of the world depends on them, so they aren’t going to let anyone else help them. O…K?
Then Kana turned to face her brother, and noticed that he seemed to be bothered by something.
"Is something wrong, Jun?" Kana curiously asked her brother.
"It's just," Ushiro thoughtfully responded, "I could've sworn he was trying to tell us something, just before we left."
He was trying to say that he left the key for the giant robot under his rape-shack’s welcome mat.
The others now looked at Ushiro curiously upon this statement.
"It almost sounded like...like he was apologizing for something."
Meanwhile, Kokopelli rose up from his chair and stood in the middle of the ring of chairs, thirteen including his own to be exact. As he glanced at every one of them, his face began to sink heavier and heavier.
"I can't..." he seemed to quietly murmur to himself, "I can't just abandon them..."
It’s funny how he feels bad after he already lied to them and signed them up for super fighting robot death matches. Maybe he could have, I don’t know, not done that to begin with.
Suddenly, the entire ring of chairs that surrounded him disappeared out of thin air, leaving him alone in the beige cockpit.
"Yes, I can handle that, as a matter of fact," he replied to the emptiness. "After all, in the end, I don't have anything to go back to. Not yet."
Shortly after finishing his statement amongst the emptiness that surrounded him, Kokopelli also disappeared from the cockpit, leaving it completely void.
He disappeared, but was far from gone.
Ambiguity. You gotta love it.
Um… he should be dead. You pilot the robot, you die. That’s how it works. Bokurano (you know, the show that this is supposedly based on) was kind of explicit about that. You can’t just say “I’d rather not” and then stay alive. This is stupid and I feel stupid for reading it.
-End of Ch. 2-
In the next chapter: The kids are still left in awe from the incredible battle that they are all now a part of, and as promised, the mysterious Kokopelli makes a comeback, but in a different way than the kids expected.
Because that wasn’t shoved down our throats at all.
I’d think you’d at least make it a surprise, writer…
But look at you, you silly writer! You got me all angry, nipa~!
I’m sure you won’t disappoint me again!
The story unfolds even further in the next addition of Chapter Three: The Chairs Reforged.
Well, I have the next one up, once again; that's what counts in the end. Hopefully, the next one won't take quite as long.
Again, thank you for reading.
No, -King-of-Wings-360, thank you.
Joined: 12-April 11
Member No.: 467
Jan 18 2012, 06:29 PM
This post has been edited by AverageGuy: Jan 18 2012, 06:37 PM
I know I annoy you. I'm okay with it.
Joined: 2-March 11
Member No.: 449
Jan 18 2012, 06:33 PM
Chapter 3: The Chairs Reforged
Now with more lumbar support!
August 23, 2004
It had been eight days since the two giant behemoths had appeared at Mitomo Island. Throughout those eight days, the fight between the two had made all the major headlines of news stories across the country and beyond, and became an immensely popular icon throughout the mass voices on the Internet.
Unlike your use of prepositions.
Kanji and Maki had been looking into this throughout all
You really stink at this.
their spare time in those eight days, when they weren't cleaning the classes as punishment for taking off during the evacuation.
"Kanji," Waku called as he entered the computer lab, "are you and Maki still glued to those things? You guys said that you were only gonna take a break for, like, ten minutes." The other kids in the group soon followed him inside until they were all crowded around the computers.
“Citizens of the internet. Y’all should know me by now, but if you don’t, I am Christian Weston Chandler.”
The children were found months later, still watching videos in a trance.
He’s quite the resilient fellow, I’ll give him that. And that’s ALL I’ll give him.
"Sorry," Kanji responded, "but, man, you should see this. Almost every few seconds, a new page is added to this search engine with loads of links. People have really gotten into this all across the web. You wouldn't even think that it's only been eight days since those two robots showed up."
Two giant robots fight and force people into evacuation, toppling buildings in their wake= you’re somehow surprised that people care.
"Hey," Kako interjected, "is there anything on us in there!"
No, you silly dumbass. People were too focused on the giant robots that were destroying their city.
"As if," Kozue replied. "I mean, we all agreed that we would keep this between the twenty of us, didn't we?"
TWENTY of you? It’s going to be awful hard for everybody to keep quiet…
And awful hard for that author to characterize you all. Mii.
Although I guess we don’t have to worry about his succeeding…
Kako had a look of disappointment plastered all over his face.
"The Internet isn't the only place you can hear about this," Anko said.
"The news is getting a huge break out of it, too. It's pretty funny to think that I'd be involved in one of my dad's top stories." She seemed very cheery about it, yet felt a bit depressed after making such a comment.
"Top stories?" Kako asked, sarcastically. "What, is your dad supposed to be, like, on the news, or something?"
Kids aren’t this stupid.
They are in this fic.
"Well, yeah, actually," Waku replied. "Her dad's Akira Tokosumi from News Claimer. I've seen a lot of his work. He's pretty much the reason that it's the top news program on TV in Japan. I thought you would've known that, Kako."
"Okay! Okay! Shut up about it, already!" Kako snapped back. Anko couldn't help but giggle a bit.
Okay, so maybe characterization isn’t your strong point…
But I’m sure you’ll blow me away with your new-and-improved plot!
"Still," Maki intervened, "you'd be amazed how many online blogs are loaded with praise and fandom over that one fight."
Actually, the only blog that mentions it is her own.
It’s also on her Twitter feed, along with classified Japanese military information.
"The last time I checked," Kanji added, "some guys even started online cults for the one that we were riding in."
"Jeez," Ushiro replied, "The Internet really DOES have everything." Kana looked up at him and nodded her head in agreement.
Then they found rule 63 furry futa art of the robot and the statement suddenly became far less amusing.
I don’t know what that means, but I’ll laugh anyway. Nipa~
"It's been a while since the fight, though," stated Chizu, "hasn't it?"
"Yeah," Machi replied. "I was kinda expecting that the next fight would start sooner."
”I can’t wait until more people DIE!”
They’re considerate murderbots, damnit!
"To be honest," Maya added, "I think that I'm beginning to lose interest in riding in that robot again."
Oh, yeah. It’s not like you… oh, I don’t know… made a contract or anything.
"Well, yeah," Moji stated, "but then again, isn't it a good thing that they aren't coming too quickly? I mean, think of how much of an uproar people would be if these battles just came day after day."
Given what I know about Godzilla movies, I think they’d eventually stop caring.
"It...it's all just too surreal to me," Daichi butted in, "if you guys want to know the truth." Everyone looked at him, surprised by that comment. "I know it's pretty crazy to think so, but for the past few days I've just been thinking to myself that maybe we were never in that robot. Maybe we were knocked out after falling from our table."
And you all had the same hallucination?
Writer, is your story developing?
An uncomfortable feeling loomed around the room, followed by small murmurs of unease and understanding towards Daichi's opinion.
"It wouldn't do you very good to think that way."
Just smile and pretend nothing’s the matter! It’s how you make it in life!
The group was startled from the familiar voice that came mysteriously came from the room, as they all began to scan the room for the person who called to them.
"Okay, who's screwing around with us?"
Calm down. I’m sure it’s just something in the water.
Ushiro questioned to
Okay. You are REALLY bad at this.
the mystery voice when he looked up to the ceiling to see a strange little creature floating above their group. It didn't take long for the other kids to take notice of this creature once Ushiro let out a surprised gasp form from laying his eyes on such a thing.
”I’ll write this as I’m writing this,” I said while surprised that I was writing it.
"W-what the hell is that?" Kako nervously questioned.
I believe it’s called a plot device.
I know. They’re not all that common around here.
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼
Get away! I told you I’m not contracting!
The very creature that the group was staring at would best be described as having a large pale-white mushroom-cap head with black beady eyes, a small square nose, a rounded smile that stretched all around it's head, and big black cheeks, a long scar visible on one of them. Atop this giant white head was a pair of curved ears pointed downwards at the ends, and from the bottom came a tail of sorts with four pointed ends.
…You’re not even trying anymore, are you?
If you’re just going to let me down like that, I’m giving up on you.
"God! What IS that?" Maria excalimed.
Don’t they have spellcheck where you come from? I don’t think it’s learning, nano-desu.
"I have no ide-" Waku retorted before something came to his mind. "Wait. Could it be..." With the voice calling out to them earlier being so eerily recognizable and the oh so familiar scar across the creature's cheek, Waku was able to put two and two together with this scenario. "Kokopelli?"
How would you even reach that conclusion? If I see a strange animal I don’t say “HOLY BALLS IT’S THE REINCARNATION OF CHRIS FARLEY.” Because even I am not that stupid. I know my stuff. I read Zoobooks. You want to know about elephants? I am a fucking expert in the field of elephantology.
YOU LIED TO ME! THIS ISN’T BETTER AT ALL!
"That's right." The creature answered, its mouth revealing a set of small pointed teeth that never opened. "It's good to see you all again. I apologize if it's been too long since we last met."
”Turns out I was about thirty cents short from being able to afford that sex change, so I went ahead and had this done instead,” Kkoopllei retorted while retorting retortment.
While the kids were still in awe over the strange creature that was hovering before them, they did feel a slight sense of comfort from having actually known that it used to be a person that they were familiar with.
Well, I wouldn’t say “familiar”.
He was the strange man who watched you from afar and lured you into his house.
They’re familiar with him because he’s constantly showing up on America’s Most Wanted. Duh.
Oh. That’s right.
"Well," Ushiro spoke up after the bewilderment, "you've finally shown up again. So now can I ask you what it is that I wanted to know before."
Yes. What DID he want to know before? (I’ll blind you with my filler text because even I don’t know where this is going! Nipa~!
"Oh, yes, of course," Kokopelli replied. "I'd be more than happy to answer any questions that you kids may have now."
"Well, first of all-" Ushiro began, until Kako bluntly interrupted him.
"I wanna ask first!" Kako blurted out. "Are we gonna get to pilot the robot again! Do we get some kinda reward for this! Are we gonna be heroes for saving the world!"
Are you TRYING to turn one of the original characters into the Bokurano equivalent of Haruhi?
"You really shouldn't interrupt people," Kokopelli replied as he turned towards Kako,
And then he slapped the hoe.
"so I will only answer your first question for YOU." Everyone chuckled at Kokopelli's response, and Kako's face was again plastered with
The hovering creature’s handprint. Because he has those somehow.
a look of disappointment. "And to answer your question, yes, you will get to pilot the robot again. All of you will, since you all signed the contract." He then turned back to Ushiro. "Now, what was your first question going to be?"
"Right.," Ushiro assured. "First of all, exactly how dangerous is this going to be?"
Piloting isn’t dangerous at all!
when you stop piloting is another matter…
Although I’m sad for anybody for whom this is Bokurano’s introduction.
"Well, I should say that the amount of danger in the situation solely depends on how you perform as a pilot." Kokopeli replied. "And your next question?"
”I’m not going to lie. I’ll probably just dodge your question and provide you with meaningless dialogue anyway.”
"Mind if I go next?" Moji asked, to whom he simply shrugged his shoulders in approval. "Where exactly is the robot right now."
"I currently saw to keeping the robot hidden in the water," Kokopelli simply stated. "Once we're all finished with the questions, I was actually planning on sending you there. The inside of the robot, I mean."
“And then you will pilot it.”
“The robot, you mean?” Moji asked.
“Shut your whore mouth,”
"Are the enemies we fight always gonna be that gross?" Anko interjected.
No. But they will always destroy your city and kill people.
What is WRONG with you?
"Gross?" Kokopelli seemed to be off-put by the of her question. "Well, they don't all look the same. Really, the enemies come in a wide variety of forms, so I wouldn't know if all of them could be considered 'gross'."
He’d still hit it.
"Uh, I've been meaning to ask," Machi stated, "What's up with the new look? I mean, is this what you really look like? Did you just disguise yourself as a human for us or, well, what?"
"Hmm... How should I put it..." Kokopelli pondered for a bit on how to answer this, when he finally came to a sensible response. "Let's just say that my previous form was the form I took on as your instructor, and this form here is the form I've chosen to take on as your guide. More or less, though, I am still Kokopelli, the one and the same. So, anything else?" For a while, nobody could think of another question, until Komo finally raised her hand and began her question.
But she didn’t finish it?
"Is it possible at all," Komo asked, "to drop out of these battles."
No, simpleton. It’s a contract.
Come on. The way you talk about it, you’d think a contract was a legally binding agreement between two or more parties with mutual obligations. That’s just crazy talk.
"I'm afraid," Kokopelli answered, "that you will not be able to drop out of them. No." The group gave him a surprised look based on this reply.
He asked for your bloody handprints. How are any of you surprised?
"Since you children are all a part of the contract now, It will be your duty now to see to it that you fight these battles and win for the sake of the earth. It's as simple as that."
It really is pretty simple, guys.
There was a pause among them after a while. "Well, if that's all for the questions, let's be on our way to the cock
"W-wait!" Waku hastily asked before Kokoeplli could begin the teleportation. "Sorry, but there's just one thing that I want to make frank. This IS still a game, isn't it?"
Yes. When your mother gets killed by falling rocks, know that she’s only PRETENDING.
"Undoubtably," Kokopelli bluntly stated, putting Waku at a bit of unease. "Well, I suppose it's right about time for us to go now."
There’s just no reasoning with people sometimes, is there, my personified floating best friend?
And with that, the ever-pestering static returned to take them.
You could just not illustrate the static.
We’re all tired of hearing about it.
They should adjust the antenna.
The Outer Limits says no.
I know about popular culture now.
The static then went as soon as it had come,
And then you do that.
You know what? I respect TERRORISTS more than I respect you right now.
and the group found itself within the brown-tinted cockpit.
Who ARE you?
"Back in the cockpit again," Kanji commented.
"Back in the robot again, too," Daichi abruptly added.
"Weird," Maya stated. "Now that we're back,
it really doesn't seem like it's been that long since Kokopelli's fight." She had already forgotten that Kokopelli was still very much among them.
"Wait," Tsubasa exclaimed. "This is really different!"
“There’s a bear in here!”
Then they all died. The end!
I’ll buy the popcorn and we’ll celebrate.
Yeah," added Nagi. "What happened to all the chairs that were here last time?" The rest of the kids began to notice that was. The cockpit was almost completely vacant aside from their presence, the ring of chairs from the last fight now nowhere to be seen.
"Oh, I took the liberty of removing them since you kids won't be needing them this time around," Kokopelli quickly responded. Some of the kids looked very puzzled by this comment.
You sacrificed yourself to prevent chair deaths?
Meanwhile, Kokopelli had then noticed that one of the children, Kodama, had stumbled upon a familiar object: Kokopelli's glasses, which, as it turend out, were fake. "Huh. I was sure that I had gotten rid of those since last time," he stated as he hovered towards him.
"Well, this is where I found them," Kodama stated. "I don't suppose you'd mind if I hang on to these?"
"By all means," Kokopelli replied. "I won't need them, anymore." And with that, Kodama applied the fake glasses to the bridge of his nose.
Do the Gendo pose! You know you want to!
I LOVE Gendo AND cultural references!
"Anyway," Kokopelli continued, "I think it's right about time that I looked into your minds."
"Wait, what? What do you mean by that?" Maria exclaimed, the other children clearly as startled as she was. But before anyone else could ask what he meant, the saw before them that a ring of objects seemed to have appeared before them.
Do you know ANYTHING about sentences?
The kids were held in awe at this new spectacle; they were staring at a new ring of chairs.
"This is what I meant," Kokopelli retorted after allowing them to absorb the moment. "I did say that you wouldn't need those old chairs, so I made you a whole set of new ones. I'm more than sure you should be able to recognize which ones belong to you."
When he’s not designing games, tricking children into signing vaguely-worded contracts, or piloting super fighting robots, Kokopelli is also a carpenter. He truly is a jack of all trades.
So the chairs really were just reforged?
Okay. I give. You’re excellent at this.
HAHAHAHA I LOVE sarcasm!
Sure enough, a few of the children had already begun to flock towards each chair that they were individually all too familiar with.
Oh, no… You’re not going to spend two pages illustrating which chairs each child chose, are you?
Nagi had taken a metal folding chair…
next to a piano stool, which turned out to be Komo's, followed by Tsubasa who took the slim armchair to Nagi's right. Strangely enough, Moji had chosen the rocking chair to Tsubasa's right, which caused a bit of confusion amongst the kids.
Kodama went to a large black office chair to the left of a baby crib that stood between him and Komo. Nakama took the sewing chair to his left, followed by Daichi who took the floor cusion to Nakama's left, and Machi who sat in the fishing chair to Daichi's left.
These seating arrangements are almost as exciting as the soccer game that the one character played against those other kids. Good times, good times.
Among the group, everyone would have assumed that the childish chair next to Kanji's chair in the ring would have belonged to Kana, but were surprised to see that it actually belonged to Ushiro, with Kana taking the ottoman to the chair's right. Kako couldn't help but tease Ushiro over this. Kanji then sat in the computer chair to Ushiro's right.
Kako had quickly rested himself in the long white lounger chair in the right corner. Chizu then quietly took the fancy black chair next to him, and Kirie proceeded by sitting in the ornate stool next to Chizu. Anko was also quick to seek comfort in the large sofa in the bottom corner which she claimed to be hers.
Silly Anko. A sofa is not a chair.
Maki was conflicted on wether her chair was the baby crib in the left corner or the swivel chair to the left of Anko's sofa. Maya quickly solved this conflicting problem for her by claiming the swivel chair to be her chair, assuring Maki to claim the crib for herself.
A crib? The author’s sure taking a lot of liberties with the definition of “chair.”
Actually, I think “crib” is what the kids are calling houses nowadays.
That’s totally not it.
Maria then found herself a place on the tatami mat to the left of Machi's fishing chair with Kozue wheeling herself over to the wheelchair beside Maria, just as everyone had expected. This left only a plastic green chair that stood in between her and Kirie, which Waku soon claimed to be his. And with this, the kids found themselves sitting perfectly within the ring.
"Whoa," Machi exclaimed. "These chairs are actually pretty cool."
But not cool enough to narrate in five paragraphs.
"Yeah," Anko added. "It feels like I'm floating."
That must be the LSD you unknowingly took from Kokopelli.
You’re all still in his house, passed out.
"Before you all get too comfy," Kokopelli butted in,"I'd recommend that you all get up for a moment."
"For what?" Kako questioned. But before he could hear a response from Kokopelli, the kids noticed that the ring chairs had begun to spin clockwise with them still in it. Quickly, many of the children had begun to scream as the chairs spun faster and faster.
I once saw a children’s horror movie where everybody was trapped on a renegade carousel.
They had been spinning so frequently that they were not able to notice the symbol that appeared on the floor:
If they didn’t notice it, why should we?
a red mark similar to that of the face plate of the robot. Finally, the spinning had begun to come to a cease, with Nagi's foldng chair floating atop the symbol, and Nagi himself too dizzy to notice.
"For that," Kokopelli replied.
"Auuughh..." Kanji groaned dizzily. "For future reference, guys, next time Kokopelli tells us to get off of the chairs, do it!" Everyone groaned in agreement.
Just as Nagi began to collect himself, he was surprised to hear such an ominous voice come out from nowhere, and call his name, no less.
"Hey, uh...," he asked, "did any of you guys just hear that, too?" everyone looked at him with dumbfounded expressions. "That voice I mean," he quickly added.
"Hmm..." Kokopelli pondered. "I suppose that you're up first then."
Are you implying…
"First?" Nagi asked. After a few seconds, however, he was able to come to a sudden realization. "Wait, does that mean... I'm going to pilot it next?"
"Yes," Kokopelli plainly retorted.
So you’re saying… he’s going to pilot next? Oh dear what a fascinating development let us spend fifteen pages talking about it.
The rest of the kids stared at him with a hint of bewilderment. They were all curious to see how Nagi would be able to handle this task. Moji and Tsubasa looked slightly worried.
"All right!" Nagi shouted, pumping himself up. "This is gonna be awesome!"
HAHAHAHA How perfectly SPLENDID!
Minutes later, the kids were all teleported back into the computer lab, but with Kokopelli nowhere to be found.
"Huh?" Kana was slightly surprised. "We're back already?"
"Looks like it," Kanji calmly stated. The kids noticed that someone was heading their way who seemed to recognize their voices. Suddenly, they were met by the face of their homeroom teacher, who appeared to be notably agitated.
It was so notable I decided to write it down and then say how notable it was.
"You Kids!" the teacher declared. "Is THIS where you all went off to?"
”You’d better not be looking at any of that porn!” Oh memories.
I don’t care about anything you say ever.
"Heheh...Yeah," Machi chuckled. "Sorry about that."
"I swear..." the teacher's teeth were practically seething, "You lot are really beginning to get on my last nerve..." Everyone shot him an embarrassed look with hopes that it would get them off the hook. This proved to be futile, as they were all given lunch detention in addition to cleaning the classrooms soon after the conflict in the lab.
"Good evening, and welcome to our late night session of News Claimer.
For our first coverage of the night, local university reports have given conclusive data that the recent offshore earthquake at Mitomo Island was surprisingly shown to have a focal depth of 0km. While this is indeed unprecedented and never seen in recent records before, other professionals hold the standpoint that the rupture was clearly caused by the surprising appearance of the behemoths that appeared only days ago..."
Okay. How does ANYBODY get away with the “there were no giant monsters. It was all your imagination.” excuse in these stories. It confuses me so much! Mii.
As Akira Tokosumi's broadcast was being shown over the late night news, his own daughter was watching him from one of the school's sofas on a large plasma-screen television.
"Wow, Anko," Maki stated, "Your dad is really good at this."
Yeah. He can exposit with the best of them.
"Yeah," Anko replied. "He's really dedicated to his work."
Dinner had passed and the kids had all gone to their own little activities in one of the school's rather spacious lounges.
Anko had decided to watch a little television, and was accompanied by Maki, Kana, Machi, and Maria. Nakama, Daichi, Kozue, Tsubasa, Nagi, and Moji
And somehow I still don’t care about any of these people.
I don’t know who any of these people are.
I have trouble relating to any of these people.
That is the consensus, yes.
decided to get an early start on their summer homework. Nagi was too enthusiastic to really focus on his work, however. He seemed to be sweating a lot.
Maya and Chizu were tending to the laundry. Kanji went to surfing the web on his laptop. Komo was sitting beside him, reading her book, again. Kodama had hunched over his PSP for over an hour, with Kirie and Kako spectating.
Are you really going to keep recycling the same boring scene?
You’ll never develop your characters like this, mii.
"Hey!" Kako blurted, shoving Kirie to the side. "Why don't ya scoot over and give us some room?"
"Uh...s-sorry," Kirie unnecessarily apologized, and with that, he went over to the table that the others were doing there homework at. Moji then gave him his seat and went to the patio door to take a walk outside. Kako soon got bored and went over to Kanji at his laptop.
"Hey, anything come up about us yet?" he asked.
God, you’re an egotistical little prick.
Whoa… calm down, Rika.
Shut up! Who are you? Who the FUCK are you?!
"If nothing came up an hour ago, where would you get the idea that there would be anything now?" Kanji sarcastically questioned. The third plastered
The author clearly has a plaster fetish.
I wouldn’t be surprised if it exists…
If anybody cares, I’ll just be hanging myself in the gymnasium now…
I was absent from this stage of revision.
look of disappointment in a row bestowed itself upon Kako's face as a few of the kids chuckled.
Ushiro was quietly sitting by the glass patio door, keeping his eyes on Kana. He had come to notice that aside from Moji, who had just gone outside, the only other person missing from their group was Waku.
"Hey, Maria," he asked, "You know where Waku is?"
He went out to pawn the robot.
Nobody would buy it.
If it made me less lonely, I might.
"Huh?" she pondered. "Oh, yeah. Earlier he said he wanted to get a breath of fresh air, or something like that." Ushiro glanced over his shoulder through the glass door and saw that Maria was right. Waku was at the outerportion
No. You haven’t earned the right to create words.
Until you prove to me that you can write, I’m giving you NO allowances.
of the patio, with Moji heading in his direction.
Moji walked on towards Waku as he kept strong concentration on bouncing his soccer ball off of his foot. Eventually, Moji's presence caught his attention, so he caught his ball so as to talk with him.
"Oh, hey dude," Waku said. "What's up?"
"Hi, Waku," Moji replied. "I've just got a lot on my mind right now, and I was wondering if you wouldn't mind some company."
I wish I had a friend like Moji.
"Oh, sure" Waku reassured him, taking a seat on the patio's grass. Moji soon followed the notion. "So, what's eating you?"
"I guess I'm just a bit concerned," Moji began, "about the next battle."
It’s not like anybody’s going to die or anything.
"Yeah," Waku responded. "I know that it's been a while since Kokopelli showed us how to fight and all, but I don't think that it'll have much of an impact on how we fight. We just have to keep our minds focused and our determination strong and we can beat whatever comes at us, right?"
No. That’s stupid and you should feel stupid.
"Well, yes, but that's not exactly what's bugging me about it," he continued. "It's more that I'm concerned about Nagi."
"Huh?" Waku turned and looked at him curiously. "Whuddya mean?"
"Have you noticed the way that he's been acting, lately?"
"Actually, now that I think about it," Waku began to ponder, "this is the most pumped-up I've seen him all summer."
"That's what I'm worried about," Moji continued, "I'm not sure if this will be too much on him." He soon noticed that Waku didn't quite understand what he meant.
"Well, we never told you guys," he explained, "but the truth is that Nagi wasn't always in the best of health." As he continued, his look became much more solemn.
He’s not the guy in the wheelchair, is he?
I miss that wheelchair, mii.
Ah… yes. Such fond memories from so long ago.
You weren’t here. You don’t have the right to participate in our nostalgia.
I wasn’t here, but I’d probably be neutral in this exchange.
"Last year, while the three of us were in our first year of middle school, Nagi began to have frequent heart palpitations, and as soon as we took him in to see a doctor, we were told that he had cardiac dysrhythmia."
"Heart problems?" Waku blurted out in shock. "I didn't think it was anything that extreme! And he seemed so normal when we all got to know him, too..."
”But now that I think about it, he does seem like a freak!”
"Yeah," Moji replied. "So after we found out, Tsubasa and I tried to get him used to certain activities that were a bit easier on him. That's actually the reason that we asked him to come to this summer school with us. The environment seemed like the calm and easy atmosphere that he could use."
"And then we found out about the giant robot," Waku filled in.
…and it comes back to giant robots AGAIN.
In Japan, all roads lead to Gundamechanimu.
"Exactly," Moji assured. "And now that he's been chosen as the first to pilot it, I'm worried that it may be too much of a strain on him. I don't want anything bad to happen to him."
"Well," Waku began to rationalize, "given that factor, I don't think I'd want him to handle something like that either. But, he was chosen, right? And Kokopelli did say that we can't drop out of the battles. So we'll just have to give all the support that we can to make this as little of a strain as possible on him, don't you think?"
You’re not even going to try to help him out?
You sicken me.
"I know," Moji replied, "but still, maybe if there was a way that someone could take his pla-" But just before he finished, something had caught is eyes, and a look of surprise soon swept his face. Waku had inquired what was wrong, turning to the shocking sight that had cut him off. Before them, they were surprised to see a pair of bulky, dark-green legs synthesize from thin air.
The next battle had already begun.
…and we got almost no character established before any of it happened…
Sorry! Just thinking aloud! Nipa~!
-End of Ch. 3-
In the next chapter: Just as quickly as he was declared the next operator of the great behemoth, the child is now sent in the fray after what seemed too long of a wait. The boy with greater problems than he would show is, at this very moment, standing atop the world about 500 meters with the safety of the planet in his hands as he is brought forth to handle this new opponent. What can he do? What will he do? The newest battle for the Earth will be shown in full in Chapter Four: Nagi vs. Blitz.
With this new adjustment to my chapter, I do hope that I will be able to progress faster with this, but who am I to keep such promises?
Hope you keep reading. Have a good one.
I am going to have the worst day ever just to spite you. Rika! Queue up the My Little Pony videos!
I hate you all.
Spoiler: He’s only updated to chapter four. This looks like a deadfic.
This post has been edited by Rika Furude: Jan 18 2012, 06:46 PM
I know I annoy you. I'm okay with it.
Joined: 2-March 11
Member No.: 449
Jan 18 2012, 06:40 PM
I know I annoy you. I'm okay with it.
Joined: 2-March 11
Member No.: 449
Feb 15 2012, 06:54 PM
Oh my God, I can't believe it's been this long since I've updated. Sorry, everyone. I've just been dealing with a lot lately, but with spring break here now, I can finally get my head clear and get back to psoting and writing. (Posted 4-19-11)
Spoiler: he doesn’t.
Whoa. For a second, I thought that was me.
Now it's time for a new battle!
I own none of the material within this piece.
…All right. It looks like this maybe the last chapter of this fanfic, which between you and me, is actually kind of a relief. Well, don’t get me wrong, a part of me enjoys tearing this guy’s writing to shreds. It’s like we’re opponents clashing on a battlefield, nano-desu~!
Anyway, without further ado, what I think is the last part of this unfortunate failure of a fanfic (you can still get them next time, Wings!) You ready, Hanyuu?
Chapter 4. Nagi vs. Blitz
No, wait, I got this. Nagi was the one who… um… played soccer? Right?
Don’t know. No reason to care. They’re all the same kid anyway, mii.
August 23, 2004
"This just in! It appears that another creature has begun to appear at Mitomo Island! There is no clear conformation, but based on the footage presented, this creature does not seem to bear any resemblance to the previous two that appeared only eight days ago. It is suggested for all residents within the area of Mitomo Island to head to the nearest shelter..."
Oh, come now Wings. Surely you have a better way to lead into your story than this?
It’s as weak as strawberry jam!
As quickly as the latest news bulletin had come on News Claimer, the children in the lounge were already crowding around the glass door to the patio. They had seen the new creature begin to form before them as plain as day. Strangely enough, nobody running through the halls bothered to call out to them to evacuate as they ran for the shelter, wether they had noticed the group or not.
It’s like that nineties show… the Powder Rangers? Surely you’d notice all those kids running around in multi-colored powder or…
Well, I don’t know. It was a little distant from my generation.
"It's here..." Kodama blankly stated. "It's appeared at the island again..."
Maybe the island’s actually a giant monster resort.
Don’t scare me like that.
"All right!" Nagi exclaimed. "I didn't think I'd get to fight this soon! This is going to be awesome!"
Should be entertaining!
Yeah! Giant robots are always ente-
"Ugh!" Anko groaned. "I really hoped it wouldn't be gross..."
"Wait!" Tsubasa quickly gasped. "Moji-kun is still outside with Waku-kun!"
Oh no! Not the nondescript characters!
"I don't see them anywhere on the patio," Ushiro replied. The others looked at the patio to see that the spaces that they were standing in were now, indeed, vacant of their presence.
"Oh, crap!" Maki exclaimed. "Do you think they know?"
Giant mecha stamping around?
I’d think it would be hard to miss!
I’m just gonna go hang myself now.
You do that. It solves continuity.
Okay. But I’ll be back.
"We should go tell them," Daichi calmly stated, while still holding a bewildered look of concern on his face. "If they're still out there, then by the time this thing takes shape, they could get hur-" But before he could finish, he had been overcome by the static wave again, as had the others.
Well, I won’t critique you, because I know you aren’t listening…
Maybe if I break something, you’ll start paying attention. Mii?
As quickly as they had caught sight of the new creature taking form before them, Waku and Moji soon found that they were no longer staring into the once open night sky, but now at the enclosing brown tint of the cockpit's interior.
An enclosed space with a brown tint, eh?
Giant robot cockpit, or current-gen FPS? You decide!
"Good. We're inside," Waku quickly commented.
And getting inside… is the only thing that matters, mii!
…I’m sorry. I don’t know what that means. I heard it from some of the grown-ups.
"But," Moji began, "where's everybody else?" Within seconds, however, the two of them soon found that the remaining members of the group began to appear within the cockpit. Kokopelli soon appeared amongst the lot of them, as well.
"Well," he stated, "it seems that everyone is present and accounted for. What say we get started then?" And in no time, each of the individual kids made their way to their hovering chairs, Nagi being the last to get to his.
When all of the chairs are hovering, there’s nobody to discriminate against wheelchair-bound children! Ah society… you’re coming forward so boldly!
Once his seat was taken, the beige walls of the cockpit melted away to reveal a dark-blue surrounding which was the ocean of Mitomo Island. No trace of the island was visible from the depth that they sat at, nor any trace of their new opponent.
My psychiatrist told me to go to a happy place whenever I see sentences like this, so I go back to the school with Keiichi and the others!
No, Keiichi! I won’t wear the maid uniform!
"Hmmm..." Kokopelli thought aloud amongst the seated group. "It seems that this one is certainly taking its time." The children were surprised that this enemy would be taking extra time to invade their world. This new enemy, which they would have to fight against and destroy to protect their planet, all by themselves.
This is how tension works, right?
…Nope nope nope. My computer says it’s a fragment! Nice try though!
Wait, Hanyuu! Wasn’t I supposed to find a fragment to go back to my world?!
…But I don’t want to kill his family.
"Hey," Nagi began, "Just to be sure, I'll be able to move this thing just by my thoughts, right?"
"That is quite correct," Kokopelli replied. "Just as simple as it sounds."
"What we should do," Moji began, "is that as soon as the enemy has finished materializing, Nagi should bring this thing above sea level, obviously.
Then maybe try the laser attacks against it. If all else fails we can always resort to using this thing's strength; this..." He paused in mid-sentence for a brief moment. "Uh, what's the name of this robot again?"
"Name?" Kokopelli was notably puzzled by this question. "It doesn't have a name."
"It doesn't?" Waku was slightly surprised by this. "Really?"
"Nobody ever bothered to give it one," Kokopelli simply replied.
"Huh," Waku stated. "Well, it seems like there's still some time before we have to fight. What say we come up with a name for this thing, you guys?"
"Sure," Maki cheerfully replied. "I say we give it a really cool name."
Ooh, I got one! Sizzler mk2!
So sad that the author waited until his last update to give it a name. I never got attached.
"Oh! I know!" Kako bluntly interrupted. "We'll name it 'Isao-20'! Or maybe 'The Kakonator'! Or even 'Omnisao'! Or maybe-"
How about Jet Jaguar?
"Kako, shut up!" Kanji cut him off. "Quit centering all your name ideas around yourself! This robot is all of ours!" Again, the plastered look of disappointment easily found its way to Kako's face.
"I say we call it 'Anza'!" Anko claimed.
Or maybe Sutherland Sieg! No wait, that one’s just stupid.
"That doesn't sound too b-" Machi quickly cut herself off. "Hey wait! Anko, that's just the name of a pop singer!" Anko blushed and tilted her head to the side.
The doctor gave me LOTS of medicine! I can’t feel a thing anymore!
"Well," Kanji began, "it's an uncolored...fearsome...overwhelmingly huge creature...abbreviate that, and you've got...The U.F.O.!" Kanji soon realized how corny the name sounded, and quietly backed into his seat.
Undefined Fantastic Object?
Isn’t he funny, Hanyuu?
"How about 'Druxia'?" Ushiro questioned.
"That's not bad, but maybe we should call it something like 'Korgodon'," Kozue said. "That way it sounds a little more fierce."
"Or maybe 'Gettaman'," Tsubasa said, "To make it more heroic."
This is getting kind of sad.
I LOVE PUPPIES!
"'Scraggler'," Machi said.
"'Samuraiger'," Maria added.
"'Carvanos'," Kodama threw in.
"'Ovaria'," Chizu plainly stated. Many of the kids looked at her very awkwardly, however.
Not that I really care, because I don’t really understand anything that’s happened to me since they put this IV in my arm, but why are you doing this, mii?
I mean… why would you bother with so much silly filler?
Ope! Here comes the bulldozer!
"How about 'Koro-Koro-Rokon', while we're at it?" Maya lazily suggested.
Chu chu lovely muni muni mura mura purin purin boron nururu rero rero?
After some time, it seemed that nobody could decide. Waku then turned over to Kirie.
"What about you, Kirie?" he stated. "You have any ideas?"
"Me?" Kirie quietly asked. "Well...I guess I could try to come up with something..."
You could shut up and fight the giant monster.
There’s a monster?
"I...I think," he soon began, "I think that the name of this robot should stand for us. Well, not only those of us in here...Maybe also the people of our country, or on a very long stretch, the Earth, for that matter-"
"Hey! That just gave me a great idea for a name, you guys!" Maki immediately shouted out. Everyone then turned their attention to her. "Well, like Kirie was saying, we're all going to be fighting along side each other and with those around us in order to protect the Earth, so what if we called it something like... ZEARTH!" There was a small pause for everyone to absorb the suggested name.
"Zearth?" Ushiro finally said. "You mean like Z-Earth, for 'The Earth'?"
No, no you’ve got it all wrong. It’s supposed to be
"I know it sounds kinda corny," Maki added, "but it's the best I could come up with after hearing Kirie's statement."
"That's actually not half bad," Waku replied. "I think it's a pretty cool idea for a name."
"I think it's lame," Kako stated.
Yeah guys… that name’s pretty silly.
I mean, you’re just taking the name from the original…
"Well that settles it," Kanji retorted to him. "I'm for Zearth. You guys?"
"Yeah, I think it's kinda cool," Anko said.
"Me too," Machi added.
"I like it, too, actually," Moji stated. "What do you think, Nagi?"
"Well, I guess it'll work," Nagi responded. "Sure. Let's stick with that."
Your robot name is bad and you should feel bad.
"Alright!" Maki shouted humorously. "That settles it! This bad boy is officially named Zearth from here on out." Everyone then nodded in agreement,
But you can only nod in AGREEMENT, mii. Have you ever seen an angry person nodding in frustration or meanness?
Sometimes I’ll agree with someone out of spite. Does that count?
while Kako had murmured to himself that he still thought his name ideas were cooler. "Well," she continued to herself, "we've got our robot named, so that's a plus. Now if only we could find some uniforms, or some cosplay to go wit-"
Now you’re just being silly.
"Oh," Kokopelli gently interrupted, "It appears that the enemy is completely materialized." And he was very right, for just as soon, a pair of thick curved legs began to fall into the ocean before them, with noticeable tremors following. Moji thought to himself how the tremors were far worse for the people on the island than for themselves.
"Okay, you guys," Nagi stated aloud in a reassuring manner, "Let's make this happen, right?"
It’s morphin’ time, Hanyuu!
Nagi's mind drifted back to the situation at hand; before him was a far greater unseen foe which he would have to muster up a great amount of will power to fight. But first, he knew that he would have to rise to face his enemy. In that moment, he felt a slight tension in his muscles as if he was ready to move and suddenly he noticed that the limbs of Zearth were mimicking the motions that he had imagined taking, as it soon began to rise from the ocean floor.
Oh hey, the plot’s doing things again.
"W-whoa!" Kozue exclaimed as the cockpit shook with Zearth's motions. "We're really moving!"
His enthusiasm is pretty amusing once you realize that Zearth operates by draining the pilot’s life force.
I was going to say that without spoiler tags, but then I realized literally nobody has seen Bokurano.
Nagi was not able to take notice of this exclamation, however, as he had focused his mind on lifting the robot to face the opponent. Once the robot had fully risen, the group was able to get a much better view of the island from far to the side from them.
And just in the opposite direction was the new enemy that they were to face. The shape of this enemy was very distinct compared to the previous enemy; it had a very dark green hue, a pair of long claw-like appendages, and a small armored head standing atop a slender neck with a large bulb-like base from which eight curved legs emerged and dug into the ocean floor to keep its balance.
"Jeez," Maki stated in an almost admiring tone. "Gross or not, this thing seems like it'll be way tougher than the first one."
I find bulbs intimidating, too. Fucking tulips, man…
"Okay, Nagi," Moji began, "Like Ushiro was saying, first we should see how this enemy handles the lasers. Take aim at it, charge up the lasers, and blast at it."
"You got it, man," Nagi responded. And with that, he began to ponder just how to work the lasers in the first place. He then felt a surge of energy course its way through his body all the way to the middle of his chest, and looked to see that an immense collection of bright light had gathered around Zearth's chest, as well.
… Would a heartburn joke be too lame?
"That's it!" Waku soon commented. And at that moment, he noticed that the enemy began to raise it's large arms into an offensive stance. Shortly after, the legs of the enemy began to skid clockwise along the water, causing it to move straight towards them. "Oh, crap! It's coming!"
Within that concentration of light growing before him, Nagi immediately understood what to do. As his enemy began to move closer, he moved towards it slightly and immediately unleashed all of the concentrated energy onto his foe. As soon as the lasers had made contact with it, a thick layer of smoke surrounded the attacked creature.
"Did it work?" Tsubasa asked, as everyone had kept their focus towards the thick cover in front of them.
It would almost be a funny subversion of reader expectations if the first attack really did destroy the enemy.
I say “almost” because the author would then spend the rest of the chapter on boring crap.
And then the creature reemerged from the smoke, moving closer and closer towards them.
"Damn!" Nagi blurted.
Form a Megazord!
"I guess the lasers won't be sufficient enough to damage it's surface," Nakama began to analyze, "so you'll have to resort to direct offense, Nagi." As soon as she had made the suggestion, however, the creature swung its large right claw at Zearth's side, causing it to tumble slightly. Fortunately, Nagi was quickly able to maintain the robot's coordination and move back before the creature's left claw could hit them.
I thought it was a “claw-like appendage” and not an actual claw. I mean, sure, claws can be claw-like, but that’s a tad obvious.
"Whoa, nice dodge!" Kodama stated, taking special regard of how much more fluent the robot's movements had become as Nagi piloted.
The creature began to swing at them again, and Nagi quickly jumped to the side. It swung again, and Nagi dodged to the other side, although the creature was able to leave a rough dent in Zearth's right arm.
"Nagi, c'mon," Kanji said, curious about his constant dodging. "You're gonna have to hit it sooner or later."
"Sorry," Nagi replied, "It's hard to find an opening on this guy." As he replied, he appeared to be slightly exhausted.
Some of the children took a moment to look at Nagi, while others had their attention focused on the enemy before them. Nonetheless, they all shared concern as to how Nagi could attack this opponent.
”More wordy” doesn’t mean “better”.
No, it totally does. That’s why Lord of the Rings is better than The Hobbit, right?
Then Nagi had a quick idea that he wished to try.
"All right, hang on guys. I'm going to try to charge at it."
"Charge?" Many of the kids were more shocked at the simplicity of his attack strategy than his choice of words.
"Nagi that might not be such a good idea." Moji replied; yet soon enough, Nagi had held out Zearth's hands to form a spear, and he soon used a good deal of Zearth's power to charge right at the enemy.
AS it moved closer, though, the enemy quickly shifted to the side of his path.
“Guess that wasn't such a bright move after all." Kako retorted, which earned him a few glares.
I agree with Kako. You’re all stupid.
Nurse! More morphing!
"Damn! I guess it can dodge pretty quickly, too," Nagi cursed under his breath. He looked both agitated and strained form this. "Maybe I'll try to go for another one-"
But before he could finish, the enemy made a surprisingly quick dash at Zearth, knocking it right back. As the enemy proceeded to tower over Zearth, the kids were in slight panic about how they were staying balanced after being knocked over.
I’m sure an explanation will be along shortly.
"Don't worry, Kokopelli reassured them, "the cockpit is specially designed for you to float."
“Oh hey, that’s kind of neat,” Nagi said, completely forgetting about the crab battle. Then the cockpit was skewered on a claw-like claw and everyone died. The end.
Pachi pachi pachi!
As they floated, their enemy soared over them and held them down with its one claw while pummeling their chest area with the other.
"Aw, man," Waku stated, "at this rate, it's gonna pummel its way right through our armor. Nagi we need to try to get this guy off."
Waku, master of strategy.
"I know that, man!" Nagi retorted, trying to think of a new strategy, "I'm trying to think but nothing's coming to mind. Dammit, what else can I do?" As he thought, his breathing became all the heavier.
"Snap out of it and fight that thing already, stupid!" Kako rudely blurted, causing Nagi even more stress.
Well, this author has ruined Kako for me.
Chizu then proceeded to give Kako a sharp glare, which immediately shut him up.
"Nagi, listen for a moment," Moji calmly assured, "You were chosen to go first, but that doesn't mean you have to place everything on yourself. Just calm down and think of the mistakes that we made, along with some of our flaws, and reflect that off of the decisions that the enemy has made." As Moji continued, the enemy raised up its right claw. "Just try to think: What are some of it's own flaws that it's tried to avoid?"
As Moji finished, Nagi took a brief moment to analyze the enemy for all of it's
That’s become a silly little problem for you, writer.
Come on, lot’s of people make that mistake.
I’d kill you for that, but the nurse says that’s wrong.
features, and he soon began to take notice of the great difference in proportion of its arms to its legs.
The enemy then swung its claw down straight towards them. Many of the kids panicked with worry
How else would you panic?
…No, Keiichi! It’s your turn to put on the kitty costume! You lost!
that they would be crushed to death.
Anko began to scream.
And another idea soon hit Nagi.
Try not getting hit.
I gave that advice to Satoko once.
Suddenly, just before the enemy's blow struck them, Nagi had lifted Zearth's right arm up and swatted the enemy's other claw to the side, toppling it off of them. Some of the kids began to open their eyes and see that they had not been hit.
See? I am such a genius.
"That's it," Nagi said to himself. "I can use this guy's own weight against him!" A new wave of confidence suddenly overwhelmed him as he lifted Zearth back up on its feet to face his enemy.
So… you’re not going to make Nagi have an asthma attack?
"Nagi?" Waku stated with some surprise.
"All right," he quietly announced. "Now that I'm closer, I can hit this guy with everything that I've got!" And with that, he swung Zearth's right arm at the creature again, knocking it back.
"C'mon, Nagi! Fight!" Anko shouted as he swung at the creature again.
“Ohhhh, I’m supposed to be fighting,” Nagi said. “It all makes sense now!”
'I think I may finally have the ropes on this creature,' he thought to himself in excitement, and his breathing became much heavier.
I don’t know about the monster, but he sure butchered that idiom.
I butchered an idiom once. It screamed really loudly, so I had to cover its mouth with a chloroform rag.
'It may have had an advantage of be before, but now that I know it's weakness, I can turn the tides just in time. I can win. I can win!'
The creature then swung both of its arms towards them with immense speed, but Nagi was able to quickly block with Zearth's arms. He then proceeded to kick at the creature's legs, knocking out the two to its left, which caused it to move back.
"After it, already!" Kako blurted out harshly.
There is nothing worse than back-seat robot fighting.
Nagi then moved towards the retreating enemy as it swung its arms to ward him away. Instead, Nagi fired the lasers again from Zearth's chest, emitting a cloud of steam from the enemy's surface to distract it, as he then kicked at its two frontward legs, causing it to topple off' balance into the sea.
"Keep going!" Kozue rooted on. "You can do it!"
It’s like the author couldn’t think of something for the characters to do while one person was piloting Zearth, so he just decided to have them randomly shout whenever something happens.
With their enemy toppled, it attempted to attack again, by swinging its left claw at them. Nagi was again able to dodge this with quick speed and a quick sweat, as he was quickly at the creature's side, and proceeded to shove one of Zearth's long slender arms into the creature's shoulder. Once it tore through, he released a barrage of lasers from Zearth's arm, tearing off the enemy's limb and reducing its attacking capabilities.
"You did it!" Maki exclaimed.
"It's still not over," Kirie stated as they moved closer towards the toppled foe. "How do we beat it?"
"The base," Maya pointed out. "That has to be where its weak point is."
Finally, someone who understands how videogame bosses work.
Wait, Kokopelli already dropped that beta testing pretense, didn’t he?
As Zearth towered over the maimed creature, Nagi blocked off the swift thrust it made with both of Zearth's hands, panting harder and harder. Then, shoving its claw aside, he shoved his right arm into the bulb-like base of the creature, with relative ease. Finally, wasting almost no time, Nagi unleashed a vast array of Zearth's lasers from its
There you go!
See? This author isn’t totally incompetent!
hand into the base of the creature, incinerating it from the inside. As steam continued to pour out of the creature's base, it's
How are you doing that?
remaining arm had gone limp, and the lights on its face went out.
The creature was dead.
Nagi had defeated it.
It was dead because it had been defeated. Its defeat killed it, and as a result, it was no longer alive nor victorious. For it had been defeated.
Everyone in the cockpit had to take time to absorb the moment, overwhelmed by how narrowly they had achieved their first victory.
"Well done, Nagi Namoto," Kokopelli finally stated.
If he keeps patronizing them like that, they’ll never learn.
"Well done?" Machi asserted, as if that was a huge understatement. "Hell, he was totally wicked!" The others soon began to applaud to him, as well.
"You did great, Nagi!" Tsubasa added.
"Dude, you were so cool!" Kozue said.
"Jeez, I really want to go next now," Kako muttered to himself.
lol dramatic irony.
You were pretty cool, Nagi.
"Good job, Nagi." Moji said, smiling towards him. He then noticed that Nagi seemed much shorter of breath than he was before. "Hey, Nagi. Are you alright?"
Here it comes…
"I...I think I need some a-air," Nagi struggled to reply. And as quickly as he had spoken, he fell from his chair, clutched his chest and struggled to breathe, much to the shock of the kids around him.
"Oh, God," Moji stated, "He needs help! Kokopelli, please take us back!" And as quickly as he had spoken, the wave of static overwhelmed them, as Kokopelli began to teleport the kids out of the cockpit from their seats, one by one.
As the children were teleported to the lounge once again, Nagi was still lying on the ground, clutching his chest tightly. The others circled around him in worry, while still trying to give him enough space.
"What's happening!" Anko panicked. "I don't understand!"
You gave him heart problems by being generally disagreeable and a bad, annoying person.
I assumed Kira was up to something.
But this isn’t Death Note!
It is if I want it to be, damnit.
"Damn, I thought it could have happened, but I didn't think that it would be this bad!" Moji soon stood closer by Nagi. "All the strain and excitement from the battle must have affected his heart condition! Someone has to get help right now!"
"I'm sorry, Moji," Waku said as he got closer. "I should have listened to you! I should have gone first instead of him!"
"Nagi has a heart condition?" said Kozue. "Why didn't he tell us?"
Because bacon-wrapped deep-fried butter sticks are just so tasty.
I read that as “heart condom.” I still don’t know what that means.
"Wait, you mean that you knew that he could have problems, and you still let him pilot the damn robot?" Maria asked the two of them.
How irresponsible. Didn’t he see the sign saying pregnant women and people with back or heart conditions shouldn’t ride in the robot?
"Never mind that for now!" Daichi shouted. "Just try to keep him calm! I'm gonna go get one of the teachers!"
"Go quick, dude!" Maki retorted, as Daichi had already headed out. "Everyone's already outside the building!"
"Maybe we should try to carry him."
"No!" Moji exclaimed, and immediately kneeled beside him. "We shouldn't move him.
Good idea. They should pretend he was like that when they found him. Nobody will ever know.
If we do, it might make his palpitations worse. Nagi, just try to control your breathing." And with that, Nagi's breathing became more and more difficult, which lead Moji to immediately clasp Nagi's right hand, with Tsubasa soon grabbing the other.
"Come on, Nagi." She whispered. "You can make it... Please."
Yet despite their pleas for their friend to pull through, his breathing only became more and more troubled, until it had stopped altogether. Right as Daichi had returned with their teacher, the others stood in shock as their friend's skin turned blue and his eyes began to widen.
Cool! I want blue skin!
Nagi Namoto was dead.
Meanwhile, outside, as Zearth stood ominously in the ocean facing towards their school, a light went out on its face plate.
Man, the actual series didn’t point out the face lights until the last, what, two episodes? Looks like things are finally moving forward quickly.
-End of Ch. 4-
In the next chapter: Their latest battle had come so suddenly, and in the briefest moment their recent champion's life had slipped away before their very eyes. How will this affect their battles to come? Will they have to give up their secret to those around them? Could their connection face a few shatters and shakes? Who will stop to give their friend one final farewell? The children take their next steps towards a more shadowy future in the events of Chapter Five: Lying to the Wake.
I really can’t wait! When is that going to be finished?
I feel that I'm beginning to get very lazy with the length of time that I am using to put these chapters together piece by piece. I suppose that I have just got a lot to deal with at the time, with colleges to look at, summer reading to work on, and an art portfolio to touch up on. Like that's hardly any excuse. But anyway, I am glad to see that things are finally starting to spice up with this story and I hope that my readers haven't begun to lose interest.
Thanks again for reading and have a good night.
That was pretty fun. The joint mock part, not the actual fanfic. That was boring. Maybe I should rewatch Bokurano as a palate cleanser (seriously, it’s a very good show and don’t let this fanfic color your opinion of it).
Well, for now it looks like this is the end of this silly fanfic. What do you think, Hanyuu?
…I know. We can dispose of the bodies later.
|Lo-Fi Version||Time is now: 20th May 2013 - 10:20 PM|