Normal Teenage Life, Friendship is Nightmares Options

[xoxjoanxox]

Wait a min...

"What could be going on that we don't know about?" Bee asked.

"Technically, anything. There's a lot about her we don't know." Dick contridicted.

-couple sentences later-

"Hey, that reminds me, does anyone know where Bee is?" Victor inquired.

WHAT.

[Lizard-Man]

Well that made no sense at all. Didn't all their secrets get exposed before? Why do they care now considering it's public knowledge. And why has she been pretending to be their friend for years supposedly to get these secrets? And... you know what fuck it, this story blows.

Nice Fallout New Vegas references though. In fact...

-----------------------------

"Why did I betray you? Because of you Raven, you were the reason. See the Divide, see what happened. What was done. Your school stripped bare, all it's preps, its anti-comformists. Got a message for you, come find me, you know the way. Bring all your bitchyness, your sarcasm, your flag of Goth-pretentiousness, Insert Suedom, or whatever flag you're carrying now. And at the Divide, you and I, we'll have an ending to things."

And as Terra left she looked back and said

"This is your road, when you come, you'll walk it... alone."

With that, she was gone.

----------------------------

Would've been a thousand times better.

[Qmark]

Gasp! Terra betrayed her friends? Surely that dastardly Wilson is responsible for this! Quickly, men, grab your torches and follow me!











And yes, I know that was really the case in the show's canon, but that ruins the joke.

[Waffleman]

How telling is it that I hadn't read this thing for about six months but was able to get into the flow of the tedium right away?

[Al_Cone]

So after posting the previous chapter, I decided to keep going with my momentum and to write and post this one. Aren't you guys glad that I occasionally have bouts of proactivity?

Alas, it seems I've made a miscalculation. See, when drawing the chapters from fanfiction.net (where, if you'll recall, they were posted until Queenie took them down some months ago), I counted twenty-nine chapters, and so paced myself and the chapters of NTL: Gaiden accordingly. However, in drawing from the multi-hundred-thousand-word document containing NTL, I've discovered that the latter two chapters are, in actuality, "bonus content." Which means that there are twenty-seven, rater than twenty-nine, actual chapters of NTL.

Which, for those of you keeping count, means that this is the second to last chapter of Normal Teenage Life.

Honestly, that sort of blindsided me when I noticed it, because I was hoping to stretch this out for another couple of chapters. As much as I kvetch about NTL, this is probably my favorite of all the mocks I've done so far, for a number of reasons that I'll probably get into when the time comes to do the last chapter. I am looking forward to wrapping it up, don't get me wrong, but I'm also going to miss it, I think, in a way.

Well, we'll get into all of that when the time comes, won't we? Let's just look at what we have right in front of us, not what's to come. Let's relish the little time we have left with this story. And this, my friends, this is indeed a relishable chapter.

Enjoy.

*******

Chapter 26: ...But That Hate Will Destroy You.

Original Japanese Title: "The Holocaust is Boring!!!" The Deadly Game of Terra-kun Begins!

"Did you hear about the murderer?"

"Yeah, wasn't she a double agent for the US?"

"NO, she was a double agent for the preps. Duh."

Are they debating the Rosenberg trial in history class? Pretty sure that they were accused of spying for the Soviet Union, not for the Confederation of United Preps, or "C.U.P."

"Really? I always thought she was sort of nice."

"Hah, nice that's right. That's what she let out all their secrets."

"Yep, I bet that she did murder her parents."

But I thought she was sort of nice, anonymous student number one. Unless you're implying that she politely asked her parents if they would like to be gutted. That would be the "nice" thing to do, after all.

"They're wrong...she didn't..." Garfield muttered. "She didn't murder them..."

"And you know that how?" Raven rolled her eyes.

"'Cuz I do."

"Fabulous description Garfield."

Interesting how the story chooses to leave the true fate of Terra's parents ambiguous, but at the same time, promotes her underwhelming "betrayal" of the not-Titans as the pinnacle of heinousness. Yeah, I think that one's worse than the other, there.

Come to think of it, wouldn't it be an awesome reveal if it turned out that, not only did Terra murder her own parents, but she somehow murdered Raven's mother as well? That would give Raven an excuse to feel bad about her mother's murder, if her arch-nemesis had been the one to kill her. Not to mention, it'd be the most out-of-fucking-nowhere plot twist ever to be put into a fanfic.

"Oh yeah, like you can do much better. You walk around claiming to know everything about everyone, but in reality you don't." Garfield spat, clearly annoyed, and walked away, leaving Raven in the middle of the hallway.

Garfield's got the moral high ground here. After all, he claims to know nothing, and backs that up by actually knowing nothing.

"I should've just shut up..." Raven muttered to herself. "Stupid curiousity. Stupid emotions."

'In any other situation, with any other one person,' Raven decided for herself, 'She would've sat there and analyzed them.

...Is Raven thinking in the third person? I mean, I always knew she had an ego, but this is new territory for her.

Sat...okay, walked and gave advice, maybe putting in some experiences in of her own to help with an example.

Because Raven can only ever help people if she's been put through a similar experience, being, after all, utterly incapable of empathy.

My God, it's like everything I've been saying this entire time is actually being enumerated within the story!

But this was completely and totally different. Raven couldn't get involved in this situation. Not too deep, not with Garfield. OKAY, so she liked the guy! It's not a crime is it? No it's not. Why am I referring to myself in the...third...fourth...whatever person?

The same reason that Prince is the Artist Formerly Known As Prince and Kim Jong Il sups upon airlifted lobster with silver chopsticks.

Still...I can't get into it with him. I just can't. It's way to obvious.

"They might find out that I have a crush on him, like they did before when they read my diary, before miraculously forgetting as soon as the next chapter began! And that would be simply awful for reasons I cannot quite communicate!"

They'll know right? I mean, who wouldn't? This is just ridiculous. Who else can help him? Maybe Dick...yeah, I'll go get him later.'

"Definitely." Raven decided outloud.

"GET TO CLASS! DO YOU STUPID KIDS HEAR ME? GET TO CLASS OR I'LL EXPELL THE LOT OF YOU!" A hall moniter called out, distrupting both Raven's thoughts and the kids running around the halls.

Seeing the lousy job that Mendoza is doing at maintaining discipline at Jefferson, the hall monitors have elected to work even harder to raise standards to acceptable levels.

Promptly, everyone ran off to their respective class.

It had been about a week or so since...the betrayal.

I guess that's better than Realization, where Terra's betrayal was referred to as "the drama".

Raven, had remained eternally angry and snapped at any mention of the future geomancer...I mean geologist.

Remember that point, folks, because it's going to be very hilarious and very ironic very, very soon.

Garfield had remained very somber, and at any mention of her, either did anything to avoid it, or denied knowing anything.

Hahahaha, that one too.

The others had basically gotten over it, merely accepting Terra as a new enemy, someone to avoid. Well...most of them. Dick had been acting suspicious lately as well. Something was up. Again.

When he sat down at his desk in class, he noticed that the table was rotated a slight 14 degrees left relative to the center of the room. Sensing that conspiracy was afoot, he drew out his Wilson Watch Ledger and quickly began to hash out the details of an intricate and involved plot to inconvenience and annoy him.

What, did you expect peaceful bliss?

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

This nonsense again? If it isn't a shift key, a broken spellcheck or a fucking sugar rush, it's the "Z" key getting self-important and deciding to spam shit up.

"Have you seen Kori? She hasn't been around lately." Raven asked.

"She's still in the infermery (sp?), remember? She got sick over the weekend." Bee reminded her.

Damn, she took Terra's betrayal hard.

"Oh yeah, strep throat, right? I thought she was over it already."

"She was, but the nurse told her to stay there one more day just to be sure."

"Kori'll be better for that trip tomorrow, right? She always is interested in that history stuff."

"Yeah, she wouldn't miss that for the world. Hell, she's even got that award for 'achievements in social studies'."

And Raven got published in the Anthology for Young Writers with Self-Esteem Issues, or whatever the hell it was called. After that, I take any and all academic achievements by these students with a grain of salt.

"And math, and science."

"I know! I only get awards like that in chorus!"

"Same here. Well, I can't sing to save my life, but I get stuff like that in writing." (:exclaims happily: I HAVE FINALLY FIGURED OUT HOW TO DO THIS CHAPTER RIGHT!)

Does that mean that there will be a Tarantino-style bloodbath at the end of the movie? Possibly with Wilson's face being projected onto a screen of smoke and fire, and Eli Roth machine-gunning Raven's face into jelly? Because if so, I am there, sister!

"Yo, yo Rae, look!" Bee exclaimed, pointing hastily towards a box under one of the tables in the science room.

Bee: I've found a way to make myself into even more of a black stereotype, g-unit! Wicky wicky wicky G yo yo yo!

"What is it, the new Beyonce CD?" Raven mentioned sarcastically.

"No, don't be stupid. Even I don't know when she's coming out with another one." Bee responded,

Bee: For some reason, she refuses to return my e-mails! Even the ones that came with pictures of my nipples attached! If I can't ply her with tits, what CAN I ply her with?

then turned to face the small lab class that was in the room. "YO DO ANY OF YA'LL KNOW WHEN BEYONCE HAS A NEW CD COMING OUT?"

No one responded.

They'd learned, by now, that the best way to react to Bee's and her friends' shenanigans is to just play dead.

And it only took them the entire goddamn school year to do it.

Also, where is the teacher? Is he just not bothered by students shouting questions across the room that have nothing to do with the assigned work?

"I take that as a no. But I do wonder..." (So do I. Anyone know?)

"That bitchy, doesn't even have an ass, moron is here. Great." Raven glared at the blonde head.

The disembodied head of Marylin Monroe burst into tears at Raven's cutting remark and rolled as fast as she could out of the classroom.

"What do you expect? Go around decieving people, trying to plot against them for no good reason and next thing you know you're sitting with Madison Raye in lab class."

Really makes you think.

About suicide via boomerang off a cliff.

"Whatever, Bee what were you showing me?" Raven said, preferring not to talk about...it.

Which is why she decided to bring it up without being prompted simply by her presence. And why she's been talking about it almost non-stop since the start of the chapter. This being the second conversation where Terra and her betrayal have been a topic for discussion.

You know, but she's really torn up about it and doesn't want to talk about it. Even though, and I quote:

Raven, had remained eternally angry and snapped at any mention of the future geomancer...I mean geologist.

Did Queenie not bother to read this chapter before she posted it?

"The regents!" Bee hissed at an audible tone. "They have the regents packet right there! Our regents is right there!" She pointed towards the packet that did indeed say '2005 Regents Exam'.

Little did they know that it was actually loaded with spring-loaded foam snakes. Ooh, the looks on their faces...!

Also, "our regents is right there"? They're going to have to invent a whole new letter grade below "F" in order to judge Bee's scores fairly.

"So what? It's not like I'm going to take it! It's called copyright laws if you decide to photocopy it, and you're breaking the rules even if you look at it before and study from it, than take the exams."

Raven blinked suddenly and shook her head. "Wow. That was some clunky-ass exposition, wasn't it?"

"Spoilsport..."

"Class, take out lab 5 dash 3 (5-3),

I'm glad that both ways of rendering "5-3" were included so that the unrealistically stupid wouldn't get confused. Moments like this show that Queenie really did care about her vegetative, mouth-breathing readership of which I was a member.

and I'll do it with you."

Is the teacher threatening to rape them if they do their classwork?

The teacher directed as she walked into the classroom and our two heroines bolted away from the regents exams. And while Queenie began to cough to death, but that's not important now is it?

Well, if she dies, then I assume she can't finish the chapter. So, depending on how you look at it...

"Excuse me Mrs. Kinsus, but what about the trip tomorrow?" A very irritating and non-stop talkative girl named Kristina called out in a whiny voice that makes
people want to cringe. "I mean, Mrs. Dalato didn't tell us much."

"Her sentences were staccato because she'd won the lotto with a little help from Jim Otto," continued the shy and reserved girl named Kristina in her timid but melodious voice.

"Well what do you want to know?"

"Are we going to need our books for last period?" Kristina exclaimed.

"Kristina, what does it say on the information sheet?" A boy named Matt answered indirectly.

Why is this even a subject of focus for the narrative? None of the main characters are asking, no relevant information is being conveyed. It's just another opportunity for one-shot characters to speak irrelevant words at each other. It's probably a real-life anecdote; lord knows we get those all too often in this story, but then, usually, those are acted out by the main cast. So I don't get this at all. Which is usually a sure sign that it's stupid and doesn't need to be in the story.

"It says we're getting back at three-ten, but I don't know! Maybe we'll get back earlier and they won't let us get them from our rooms and then we'll need them!"

"Then bring your books!"

"Kristina, I think that Matt answered your question, so please just go get the lab out."

Given the relative increase in one-shot characters as the story has dragged to its finish, I'd say that the line between story and reality is gradually breaking down, as Queenie attempts to make this as autobiographical an account as she can. Which means that this chapter, and the next, are more than likely going to be full of weird instances just like this one.

"Eh, I'll go get your book." Raven gestured to Bee, pointing at the stack of white-binded, black outerspace-covered books that had each student's named printed on a piece of tape and plastered on the cinder...? binder.. ? AH YES! ...that had each student's name printed on a piece of tape and plastered on the SPINE!

I'm imagining Queenie in a lab coat, surrounded by test tubes and beakers, with her hand clenched into a claw, thrust into the air triumphantly while she proclaims her victory to the heavens. "The SPINE!" she cries, as lightning splits the sky overhead, "the SPINE it is! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

'Lab 5-3 Earth's Geological History...Radioactive Dating...'

"Avoid shallow pick-up lines that may inadvertently offend your oh-so-sensitive prospective mate. For instance: 'Is that a writhing, suction cup-tipped tentacle in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'"

"This should be interesting." Bee laughed when she got the lab.

"Alright, so I'm going to give out your test grades and your practical grades.

You'd think that Mendoza, being the worst principal in the world, would have replaced "practicals" with "impracticals" in the science curriculum.

Geddit? Because TERRA IS AN TRAYTOR.

You need your reference tables for this lab, so get them out." The teacher dicated as she took out her grade book.

"Jesus Christ, I left my references tables by the courtyard again." Bee exclaimed.

(Um...listen, does anyone have a problem with me saying Jesus Christ? I know that you're not all Jewish...and I was just asking. If anyone does, I'll refrain from using it in future chapters. But...can someone tell me if they have a problem with it?)

I wish she'd bothered to ask if anybody had a problem with reading Raven's stupid poetry in earlier chapters. What two-faced courtesy, I tells ya...

"Join the club. We have chocolate." Raven laughed.

"I thought it was 'we had jackets'?"

"Screw the jackets. We're in Southern California in June. We don't need jackets."

Sure you do! When you go walking through your dense, lush on-campus jungle, the thick forest canopy will prevent the sunlight from hitting the ground, thus lowering the temperature in the immediate area. You'll catch your death tromping about out there, I'll warrant.

"Good point."

"Umm...excuse me, Mrs. Kinsus." Raven asked respectfully as she walked up to the teachers desk. "We sort of left our reference tables in the courtyard outside the building, can we go get it?"

"Sure." The teacher replied, not looking up.

Rewarding student ineptitude without a second thought, huh? Mrs. Kinsus must be the kids' favorite teacher.

"Kristina...come up."

"C'mon." Raven exclaimed grabbing the pass and running out of Room 110, Bee following quickly. "Let's get back before she calls our names."

Oh, and now they're implying that Mrs. Kinsus is grossly incompetent. It really is amazing just how bad the school got after Wilson left and Mendoza took over. I'm not kidding; this shitty new standard in education only started after Wilson had left the school.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Why "Z"? Why not a nice lower-case j? That'd look better, wouldn't it? "jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj"

"So what did you all think of the Social Studies 11 DBQ today?" Mrs. Dalato, the Social Studies teacher asked her class that period.

"Pretty damn easy!"

"Soooo simple."

"Too easy." Dick nodded.

"Waaay too easy." Victor agreed.

"Whatever..." Garfield muttered.

Mrs. Dalato: Tough shit, fuckers--you all failed. "Ooh, soooo simple, Mrs. Dalato! Pretty damn easy, too!" Well, what do you think now, huh? Not so easy now that you're all looking at a repetition of the eleventh grade, is it?! That's what you get for wasting my time!

"Didn't I tell you all it would be Civil Rights? How great was that?" The teacher laughed.

"Well...some kids from Monroe Prep told us before!" Some of the preps called out. "They're teacher told them a week ago."

For a minute, the teachers eyes widened, but she decided to deal with the breaking of the laws later on.

Because, tch, that ain't important or anything.

"Class, do you all remember the Holocaust trip that Allison Sullivan won a month ago?"

"No duh..." Someone from Raven's lab class muttered.

"Anyway, so you know the trip is tomorrow, right?"

"Yes..." The class droned.

"Okay, so after this period, the groups will be put up outside room 109."

"That's this room, isn't it?" Victor called out.

"Yes Mr. Stone, that is indeed the room we're in."

The whole class laughed at Victor's seemingly stupid comment. Including Victor...ever oblivious,

Victor's just happy that people are paying attention to him for something besides his bathroom antics and on-field failures.

as the teacher went on to discuss the details of the trip. Not many people were listening, everyone was up and walking around the classroom, involved in their own lives.

I swear, I didn't read this chapter before I wrote "Complete Schoolwide Saturation." I'm just that good at predicting the behavior of these little shits.

"Oh shit...shit...shit..." Garfield began to mutter under his breath.

Garfield: *ahem* I said "Shit." ...Shit! SHIT! Aren't you guys listening?

Victor: You hear something?

Dick: Probably just the water heater. Now hurry up and get it in, already!

"What's up?" Dick asked. "There shouldn't be any problems..."

"Yeah, there is. Do you remember when we made those groups?"

"Dude, we did that like a month ago." Victor quiped.

"Yeah...and who were we friends with a month ago?"

You guys don't have friends. Just people who tolerate you to varying degrees.

"Terra." They both said at once.

"Exactly! This is going to be chaos!"

"Not necessarily." Victor hesitated, pondering the subject. "Well, listen, Terra claimed that she'd been 'spying' on us since the beginning of the year, right?"

"Yeah..." Garfield replied reluctantly. "So...?"

"So, how do we know Terra even wrote us down to be in her group?"

"Yeah, there is. Do you remember when we made those groups?"

You made the groups together. Who the hell retcons plot points within moments of stating those plot points?

"That would be great logic. Except for one little minor detail you're forgetting." Dick rolled his eyes.

"What?" Victor asked in confusion.

"I highly doubt that Terra was planning on her 'double agent' deal to be revealed now. I bet she was planning this until senior year or something. If so, then she would in fact put us down in her group to spy on us some more." He explained.

"How much longer do you think you'll have to do that whole double agent thing anyway Markov?" Josh asked.

"Not much longer. I've just about got everything I need. We know most of their secrets by now anyway." Markov---I mean Terra replied, laughing.

Terra had almost all of your secrets in hand, and likely would have sprung her trap within weeks, if not days, of that recording. Do you even remember writing the previous chapter?

"So what'd you think's gonna happen?" Garfield queried, very worried.

"Well...from what happened before, I'd say pure chaos." Dick surmised indifferently.

Big words and purple prose are an able substitute for actual content.

Or, uh.

Grandiose verbosity imbues anecdotal literature with greater palpability when contrasted with relevant and vital information.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Group One
Samantha Levine
**ERROR: DATA EXPUNGED**
Bill Kerrane
Megan Faulkner
Lisa Diaz
Tommy Pearson
Annie Potter
Farrellann Ocasio
Kayla Rizzo
Joseph Mao
Edwin Mohney
Amelia Reynolds
Rose Vardell
Missa O'Connelly
Jon Ward

Group Two
(NOW PAY ATTENTION TO THIS ONE PEOPLE)

After all, it contains information that I've already been told. So I'd better pay attention to every single passing and minute detail, because I have the memory span of a slice of lasagna.

Dick Grayson
Kori Anderson
Raven Roth...here the name Roth was crossed out many times and replaced with Sabel

Which was, in turn, crossed out repeatedly and replaced with "It's Roth, you stupid orphan bitch."

Garfield Logan
Jared Goldman
Issac Emerson
Steven Johnson
Victor Stone
Betty Klein
Roy Harper
Terra Markov
Madison Raye
Brittney Williams
Josh Richaron

So going back to the whole "we made those groups months ago" line that Victor said (I know that the story forgot about it, but dammit, I didn't), why on Earth would the Not-Titans form a group with their sworn enemies, Richaron, Williams and Raye? That somehow seems counterproductive, to put yourselves in the same group as a cabal of bullies who don't particularly like you. Unless they were trying to provoke them, give themselves an excuse to play the victim card (we know how much these assholes love doing that), in which case, it's quite in character for them.

I guess I'm just still annoyed at that momentary lapse. It's like, you can't even remember what you typed four sentences ago? Really? Really?

Daemon

my sides ache from laughing

he actually spells it with an "ae".



Heather Boutwell

Alexandra Milan

Ann Williams

Group Three

Ashley...

"Great. Just GREAT! They just had to put us with the bloody, mother-fucking, anorexic, helluva BITCHSTICK!" Kori exclaimed after seeing the lists. (Thank you Rose for that insult!)

I guess Rose threatened Queenie with graphic and disturbing murder for including the word "bitchstick" in the previous chapter without crediting her, so to keep herself from being blood-letted to death, she added it into this one.

"Kori...?" Speedy responded, clearly disturbed.

"What?" Kori hissed, turning to face the boy, eyes flashing.

"Um...nevermind..." He replied meekly, cowering.

"Kori. You just cursed. And a hell of a lot of them come to mention it. You never EVER curse." Raven pointed out.

"Yes. I know. But she is evil."

She said mean things about them, after all, which makes her almost as bad as Wilson!

"I'm very happy that you agree with me...but what brought about the sudden---change in manner?"

It's called "inconsistent characterization," Raven. Standard operating procedure for this story. You pick up on things like this after a while.

"What? I will tell you. You remember how Terra told said in the video how she was merely 'hanging out' with us this year to get our secrets and then do something with them?"

"So you think----" Raven began to say, but was interrupted.

"What's going on?" Dick interrupted, coming up to the group followed by Victor, who was dragging Garfield who had refused to move after seeing the lists.

Civil disobedience isn't going to make the teacher change the groups, Garfield.

"Yeah, we heard Kori curse." Victor added doubtfully.

"KORI CURSED?" Garfield echoed loudly, suddenly becoming very animated, practically bouncing along toward Kori, Raven, and Speedy. "Dude...that's like...like...impossible! KORI DOES NOT CURSE! She's like...an angel or something!"

"Well in this case she does. And trust me, it's scaaary." Speedy reassured them of the truth.

This is the lamest, most vanilla gang of teenagers on the planet. You make the Brady Bunch look edgy.

"We know." Raven, Dick, Victor, and Garfield said together. Kori had cursed before...but only under very...strenuous situations.

Kori: MOTHERFUCKING PENCIL SHARPENER! YOU PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT, I'M GOING TO RAPE YOU AND MURDER YOU, AND IT MAY NOT HAPPEN IN THAT ORDER! COCK-LICKING ASS-SUCKING DICKNUT SHIT FUCKING PIECE OF SCROTUM JERKING OFF UNCONTROLLABLY IN A POOL OF HIS OWN BLOOD!

"So...please tell me what happened to make Kori go insane?" Dick repeated.

"Was it the list?" Garfield replied glaring at the piece of paper, as if it was the paper's fault. "DAMN YOU PAPER! DAMN YOU TO HELL!"

"What else would it be?" Raven answered.

"Good point..."

Kori is very much opposed to the paper industry.

"Yo...it'll be fine Gar, there's plenty of other footballs in the bin." Victor attempted to comfort.

"Footballs in the bin...?" Dick asked, eyebrow raised.

"You know. It's like...fish in the sea!"

I guess Victor centers his identity around football so completely that he can only think of things within those terms. Like Mykan and comparing every single thing in the universe to Beast Boy in order to understand them.

"But they're not footballs...or fish come to think of it." Garfield mentioned vaugely, sipping a can of Coca-Cola.

It's significant that he's drinking that particular soda because, uh. Because.

Hey, is Coke vegan? You'd think a naturalist would be opposed to all the corn syrup and additives present in Coca-Cola.

"It's not even as if I like her."

"Obviously." Speedy rolled his eyes. "That's why you're drinking your twenty-second can of coke today."

...Coca-Cola = tragic romance? So what does Pepsi symbolize, angry sex?

"Yeah, what's with all the coke anyway?" Victor asked.

Tony Montana sniffed, wiped the powdery residue from his nose and barked an epithet at Victor.

"Bet he's trying to drown himself in it." Dick decided, leaning against a nearby wall, arms crossed.

He can't even kill himself right. Garfield is the worst character ever.

"Garfield, we know that you don't like her." Raven exclaimed exasperated at his obliviousness.

"Then please, tell me why I'm so like...like..." Garfield tried to find the words.

"Depressesd?" Bee supplied, finally joining the group.

"The opposite of mollified?" Speedy tried.

What is the likelihood that Speedy, a character who supposes his toeses are roses, would know what "mollified" means, much less an antonym for it?

"Psycho?" Raven snickered.

"I AM NOT PSYCHO! OKAY? I FIND OUT THAT SOMEONE WHO WAS MY FRIEND IS PLOTTING AGAINST ME, I HAVE A RIGHT TO BE...NOT NORMAL!" Garfield exploded, the others, except Raven backing away. Garfield had only exploded once before...and then it really wasn't pretty.

Nope. But it was hilarious, if I do say so myself.

And I DO say so, myself.

"I think we should let Raven solve it." Victor muttered.

"I have a feeling this isn't going to turn out well." Bee disagreed.

After hearing Garfield's rantings, Raven's look of sympathy toward the comedian changed to an icy glare. "How dare you. You think that you're the only one who's affected by it?

Ohohohoho, an acidic reproach from the most selfish and unsympathetic character in all of Normal Teenage Life. Let's see how this goes, and break it down, point by point!

You're being selfish. You think that you have the right to mope about it for the rest of the school year, for the rest of your life maybe, but you don't. We're still in school, and you've got finals and regents, and plenty of other things.

Right, but fixating on every sleight and offense that every character in the story, peripheral or otherwise, has visited upon you--those are the things worth obsessing over throughout the school year, worth hanging onto. Moreover, look at the double standard that you're creating for yourselves; gross betrayal by a close friend is bad, but making sweeping judgments based on a person's physical appearance, setting a cruel and mean spirited trap for a magnanimous and helpful young woman because she dared to like Bee's man meat, or, heh, brutally assaulting a person because they expressed physical attraction to you (Rose), those things, those are all okay. Have I got that right? Stop me if I'm wrong.

Everyone's been affected by it, but you don't see me snapping out at anyone who mentions her do you?

But seriously, folks, this is coming from the girl who, even before the revelation of Terra's duplicity, openly hated and scorned her at every opportunity, who let that prejudice--that unwarranted prejudice--color her attitude toward her and toward the rest of her group for the duration of the story. Also, this moment form earlier in the chapter:

"That bitchy, doesn't even have an ass, moron is here. Great." Raven glared at the blonde head.

Along with these quotes from before--which I told you wold be ironic later on:

Raven, had remained eternally angry and snapped at any mention of the future geomancer...I mean geologist.

Garfield had remained very somber, and at any mention of her, either did anything to avoid it, or denied knowing anything.

Now, you can call that inconsistent characterization if you want, and I'll accept that. After all, they've pretty much swapped places in regards to their reactions to Terra's treachery. Or you can call it hypocrisy; Raven, the girl who's been completely acidic and vitriolic toward any mention of Terra, even before the betrayal but especially so since, is harping on Garfield for letting himself be emotionally compromised by it. Garfield, who, if you'll recall, has been consistently closer to Terra than anybody else in the story, especially now that the Terra/Speedy romance was retconned into a Terra/Garfield romance.

So, Raven, not only have youbeen acting like a screeching little vagina over this, but you've been acting like a total cunt toward and regarding Terra for twenty-six chapters now, twenty-five of which came before her betrayal came to light. So you really have no right to tell off Garfield, or indeed anybody, for overreacting to Terra. And I apologize in advance for beating a dead horse like this, but isn't it curious how Terra's betrayal has left more of an emotional impact on you, Raven, than did the sudden and unsolved murder of your mother? Like, that's the big tragedy of the entire school year to you?

I shouldn't even need to say it by now, but Raven has got to be the worst and most unsympathetic character in all of Normal Teenage Life.

No. So get a grip, and stop thinking that the world revolves around you."

And we cap off our self-righteous tirade with a little dash of hypocrisy from the character who believes that, indeed, all celestial bodies in the cosmos revolve entirely around her. Wasn't that exciting, kids? I sure had fun with it.

With that, Raven stomped off, to the library. After all, it was lunch, and they didn't have the be anywhere.

"Woah...harsh." Speedy commented.

"Harsh, but true." Dick disagreed.

"Fine! Make my day worse!" Garfield retaliated, sticking his tounge out at her.

If it means that we get another chapter where Garfield throws a hissy fit and scribbles angrily with Crayolas to express his angst, then heh, have at it, Raven. See how much worse you can make his day.

"Tomorrow is not going to be good..." Bee moaned, rolling her eyes.

"I'll drink to that!" Victor babbled, attempting to lighten the mood.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Zorro seems to have bought advertising space in this chapter.

And tomorrow morning came.

Really? Because I was in suspense there, for a while.

Yes everybody, the day and their lives actually went on. Sheesh, you people except way too much. It's not like the sun is going to stop just because Garfield and Raven have an arguement...the sun does indeed rise. And the moon set.

There was an unnecessary bit of oversharing about the author's personal life that was inserted here for reasons that I'm not quite able to understand or comprehend at this stage in my life, but I imagine that it made perfect sense to mention it at the time.

Can you believe that this was not written under the influence of cocaine at all?

That morning, at eight thirty, just like they were supposed to, everyone reported to the respective rooms that they were going in. Group 1 to room 107, Group 2 to Room 110 and Group 3 to Room 109. Yes, I realize it doesn't make any sense, but I don't make the room numbers, I just write the story.

Of which the room numbers are a part. So...yeah, you kinda do. Even Mykan doesn't stoop to that particular level of indignity.

Come to think of it, Mykan doesn't break the fourth wall often. I can't tell if that makes him better, or worse, than Queenie's NTL.

Everyone was in thier respective rooms, they did what teenagers do best.

Besides complain, get high, procrastinate, be arrogant and ejaculate at one another.

They formed the cliques that they normally did and began talking amoungt themselves. In Room 110, where our scence starts out, everyone had done exactly that. Jared, Issac, and Steven, as previously mentioned before, were doing, well, whatever teenage boys do, which I have yet to figure out...or want to know.

If Jared, Isaac and Steven do not turn out to be pivotal characters in this chapter, I am going to tear open a hole in the dumb fabric of space and time, climb through it into Normal Teenage Life, skin the three of them alive, fashion a flag out of their hides and wear it on the back of my jacket.

Daemon, or Demon, as he was more commonly known as, was playing with his PSP.

Being the friendless loser that he is.

Madison, Josh, and the others in the 'Pentagon of Evil', as some liked to call the newly established group, were...well most likely plotting against someone.

You can tell because they don't like the Not-Titans, and are therefore irredeemably bad people.

The two girls at the end of the list were chatting to themselves, and that leaves eight---no sorry, seven people. Our main characters. Let's get to them, shall we?

"I'm still convinced that this is going to end in disaster." Bee repeated from yesterday.

And, just to continue the echoing from yesterday,

"I'll still drink to that!" Victor laughed.

It's like none of them spoke to each other after that last scene. They just broke for lunch, wandered off and didn't say a word until just now, in order to maintain and continue that gag.

"Dude, we don't have anything to drink." Garfield said, while drinking something out of a can.

Garfield ran out of Coke, so he's resorted to drinking canned wine instead. He's not complaining.

"I believe that you are contridicting yourself." Kori said, giggling slightly.

"So what...I'm trying to lighten the mood for ya'll." Victor replied, and by his gestures it looked like he was---

"Yo, dude, are you like, drunk or something?" Bee asked, eyebrow raised.

"No, he just drank the rest of Garfield's soda this morning." Dick explained.

"Garfield, how much soda did you have left anyway?" Raven asked, the first words she had spoken to him that day.

"Why does it matter to you? I'm a selfish bastard anyway!" Garfield snapped back.Raven had insulted him before, called him names, and whatever. But normally, she was being sarcastic or, 'joking' around, or as much as Raven could joke around anyway. Never had she really been that harsh.

I think it's less that Garfield was being called out for his behavior (as a screeching vagina, if you'll recall), and more that he was called out by Raven. Who, if you'll again recall, is the last person who should ever criticize anybody for their behavior.

"He had thirty cans left." Speedy answered promptly.

"Oh...no wonder..." Bee said, eyeing the hyperactive African-American next to her. "This is going to be a long day..."

"Guys...!" Victor boomed, standing on a table. "I HAVE AN IDEA...!"

Victor: I'll go into cardiac arrest and ruin the field trip for all of us! Here it comes; work with it! I'm comin' Elizabeth...!

"Good...now get into a chair Stone, I'm not here to babysit." Mr. Taylor ordered.

Well, legally...you are. You shouldn't have to, because these kids should all be mature enough to handle their own affairs without requiring constant supervision, but...yeah, you're gonna have to watch this bunch like a hawk with telescopic scopes for eyes and laser sights for eyebrows.

"How long do we have until we get on the buses?" Ann Williams called out.

"About a half hour. A long half hour. STONE SIT DOWN OR I'LL GIVE YOU DETENTION!"

"Yes, Mr. Cosby, I'll accept the award! Thank you sire, I, Will Smith, like bubbly champagne. I find it's more carbonated that way." Victor answered, sitting down, clearly in his own world. Which is a very strange place...

Victor Weston Chandler here is too busy living it up in VWCville to listen to his teacher's instructions.

"Dude, what was your idea?" Garfield asked, glancing back at Raven, who had given up socialization and returned to her latest Anne Rice novel.

The Brooding Darkness of Lestat: Boox Six - Lestat Buggers Children

"Hullo Dr. Dre. Did you hear my new album? It has buttons in it. With lots of bubbly carbon monoxide." Victor replied, turning to Bee. "Jada! There you are, I didn't know you were coming to the release party. I thought ya'll was going home."

My God, he's like a stereotypically black version of Pinkie Pie.

"Does anyone have a bottle of water?" Kori wondered, eyeing her clearly sugar-high friend nervously.

"I've got one." Raven replied in an indifferent tone. She put down her book, and walked over to Victor, who was clearly convinced that Bee was Jada Smith, and poured the bottle on his head.

"WHY DID YA'LL DO THAT FOR?" Victor cried out as the cold water splashed all over him, fortunately ridding him of his delusional nature.

"You were about to break out singing, 'Switch' that's what." Raven answered curtly, returning back to her book.

"Huh?" Victor replied, clearly confused.

"You were on such sugar-high that you were convinced you were William Smith." Kori explained.

Victor only knows how to impersonate black celebrities.

Because he's black.

"Yeah, and you called me Jada whoever the hell that is, and Mr. Taylor was call Bill Cosby by ya too." Bee added.

"AND I'M NOT DR. DRE!" Garfield exclaimed.

"Jada...who's Jada?" Dick asked.

"Jada Smith, she's married to Will Smith, ain't she?" Victor answered, to which Bee's complexion turned signifcantly redder than it normally is.

"You said that you had an idea..." Speedy reminded.

"Oh yeah. To quit the craziness." Victor remembered.

Mr. Taylor is sobbing into his arms right now, lamenting the failures in his life that have brought him here.

"You have a way to quit Rae and Gar from fightin?" Bee added happily.

"Yeah...I think we should separate this trip. The girls go with Raven and we'll go with Gar." Victor suggested, 'we' being the boys.

"Good idea." Dick agreed.

"Wait. What shall we do about Terra?" Kori asked nervously.

Well, I think that, karmically speaking, she's got something coming to her for that whole "murdered her parents" trifle.

"We'll just have to let whatevers meant to happen, happen." Raven suggested.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

ZZ Top's trying to reinvent themselves by adding a bitchload of additional "z"s to their name.

'And his words of hundreds of years ago, embedded in Armand's tale, came back to me: Those Who Must Be Kept are at peace, or in silence. More than that we may never know.

I think that, out of all the shit that this story does to piss me off, the constant Anne Rice fellating bothers me the most, as much for the fact that it's Anne Rice as for the fact that it's an unnecessary interruption to the narrative. Maybe that's a cheap shot, but shit, you just know that if this were written five years later than it was, we'd be reading excerpts from Twilight.

Well, whatever. Let's just go through the usual routine of skipping it so we can get back to reading about the exciting adventures of the Worst People in the World.

"Hey." Garfield muttered.

"What?" Raven hissed. The world obviously had something against her finishing 'The Vampire Lestat'.

This song was written with Raven in mind.

"Can I sit here?"

"Why would you want to sit here?"

"Because it's the only seat left, what do you think?"

Kickin' with the assholes
Sittin' with the goth bitch
Gotta make my mind up
Which seat should I take~

Raven looked around the bus. Every seat was taken. Kori and Bee were sitting across from Raven, with Dick and Victor sitting in front of him.

Ha, nobody wants to sit next to Raven because she smells like body odor and blood-scented lubricant.

Unfortunately, Victor's plan before had clearly not worked. Not for now anyway. "Whatever." Raven replied, moving over to the inside of the seat. "God help me..." She muttered, fingering the charm she wore around her neck.

God: You know, I might have considered it, but then I noticed that you were talking to the charm, and not to Me, so you can just sit and spin, idolater.

The bus ride to the museum was unfortunately an hour long. A whole hour.

Oh, heavens no! Not an hour-long bus ride to a museum! Surely, there has never been a more harrowing and unfortunate circumstance under which to make a journey in history!]

Since Victor's previous plan had failed, they tried ignoring the pair, hoping that just maybe it would get them to talk to each other.

But that didn't work either, as Raven merely went back to her book, and Garfield...started talking to himself.

Garfield: What's that, Sir Lints-A-Lot? You want me to slam Raven's head against the window repeatedly until her brains run down the glass? I don't know...

Madame LeFlour: But you must, Garfield! It iz ze only way to get her to pay attenzion to you again!

Garfield: Well, I do love attention...

"Hey, uh Raven...?" Garfield began to say.

"Raven, come here." A voice said. Raven hadn't heard Garfield, and instead turned in the direction of the voice. "Who said---" She turned and saw Demon standing up in his seat. "What do you want Demon?"

Demon just realized that Raven is the only woman who will talk to him for a reason other than to inform him of an impending restraining order. He's hoping to maximize his chances of scoring pasty, saggy gothic ass.

"Just come here for a minute." Demon hissed in reply, eyeing the Pentagon of Evil chatting in the front rows.

"Fine." Raven replied with a glare. 'It had better be important...'

"Where are you going?" Garfield exclaimed as Raven attempted to push past him.

"Move." She snapped, and he did so. After, Raven walked to the back to join Demon in whatever he was going to tell her. Garfield sighed, and moved to the inside of his seat, staring out the window.

Any second now, he's going to bust out the crayons and start scribbling a stick-figure drawing of him singing "Wake Me Up When September Ends" to Raven while Demon gets eaten alive by ravenous boars.

"This is not going well..." Kori mentioned nervously.

"Yeah, what're we going to do?" Victor asked, getting up and leaning on the seat head, allowing a view of the two girls sitting in back of him, Dick doing the same.

"I have no idea..." Bee murmured, worried.

"You're being selfish. You think that you have the right to mope about it for the rest of the school year, for the rest of your life maybe, but you don't. We're still in school, and you've got finals and regents, and plenty of other things."

Sorry, I didn't mean to make you re-read a part of this story twice. But the irony is just too delicious to not point it out.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"Alright, so you're all getting separated into different groups beyond your original groups. Groups 1 consists of..." Mr. Cosby---I mean, Mr. Taylor explained as the students arrived at the museum. "...And in Group Five we have Tara Markov, Daemon, Raven Rot---"

"SABEL!"

Mr. Taylor: Ms. Roth, I will not be spoken to in that manner. I am tired of your petulance and disobedience. Remain at the bus for the duration of the trip; I am giving you a zero for participation for the day. An official reprimand will be placed on your record.

"Right. Raven Sabel,

Oh, right. I forgot who runs this school.

Garfield Logan, Brittney Williams, and Madison Raye."

"Is he serious?" Terra, Garfield, and Raven all exclaimed at the same time.

"Chaos. Pure chaos." Bee surmised.

You know, if these assholes can't put their differences aside in the fucking Holocaust museum, of all places...

"I am honestly just glad I am not in that group." Victor laughed.

"Now, everyone from Jefferson Co-Ed Boarding School, group five, please come with me." An old lady named Ruth with white hair, brown eyes, and a tourist outfit said.

What, like a Hawaiian shirt, khaki shorts, a fanny pack and an expression of utter bewilderment and condescension? Tour guides for the fucking Holocaust museum can show up to work dressed like that?

With that, Terra, Demon, Raven, Garfield, Brittney, and Madison all followed her on a tour of the Holocaust Museum. Fuuunnn.

Hey, knock that shit off. There's only room here for one person to provide snarky, sarcastic editorializing. And frankly, I'm better at it than you.

"Listen, Raven, what I was trying to tell you before was---" Garfield began to say.

"Not now Garfield." Raven interrupted. "I've got more important things to do." With that, she went back to the conversation she was having with Demon.

DemonxRaven.

Yeah. I ship it.

"This is gonna be so great...we'll get back at those bastards for finding out our secret!" Brittney cackled.

What secret is that? Is it the secret that Terra was actually a double agent this whole time? But then, they were mad at them for something else before Raven blew the whistle on her. So...what the fuck, man?

"Britt, that doesn't make any sense. It's not there fault. I'm just really pissed at them. But our plan can't work, I didn't figure out all their secrets." Terra contridicted.

I mean, I don't want to just repeat my tirade from the last chapter, but I don't see what else there is to say about this. She's trying to give them a motivation, and that's all well and good, but the motivation she's given them doesn't make any sense, because it hinges on events from the story that did not happen. They aren't even referencing anything specific; they're just all collectively mad at the Not-Titans for doing something to them at some point, and we don't know what it is because there's no evidence of it in the story, and the story doesn't bother to drop any hints as to what it might be. Can't they just be assholes who want to hurt the gang for no reason? I realize that that's petty and one-dimensional, but even then, it's better than what we've got.

Also, unless Rita Z. Vanderbilt and Michael Null already revealed all the best secrets (and what they did reveal was incredibly shallow and stupid, so I doubt that), I doubt that Terra would need ALL of their secrets in order to humiliate them. Can't she just work with what she's got?

"Markov is right." Madison agreed. "Though I have to admit, our back-up plan was great."

"But isn't getting them expelled too much?

Too little, I say. Nothing short of mass murder will be enough of a punishment for them.

I mean seriously, I am really sick of them...but I thought we could just destroy them emotionally...not destroy their actual lives..." Terra said with caution.

"What, are we too 'hard core' for you or something? If you're not up to utterly destroying people's lives, than maybe you're not meant to hang out with us." Madison reflected, sapphire eyes flashing angrily.

Hahahaha, holy shit, this is the most unrealistic depiction of teenage behavior in the history of everything.

"No...it's just...isn't destruction emotionally mean enough?"

"What do you think this is? Some teen movie? This isn't 'Mean Girls', and you're not Lindsey Lohan." Brittney pointed out.

She doesn't have nearly enough addictions to be.

"Maybe I was wrong about you Terra. I'm not sure if you're meant to be with us."

"No, don't be ridiculous. Besides, who would I hang out with?" Terra laughed.

"Terra, you have to make a decison. Now." Madison ordered.

"Why now?"

"Because you know what we planned, and you know when it'll happen. If you don't do what you want now, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. Like I said, make your decision, and think about it."

What's Ric Blaine doing here with the popular kids?

"You're being very...very..."

"Philisophical? Honest?"

"The second one."

"Exactly. I'm not evil, I'm honest. There's a difference."

Going by that logic, none of the characters in this story are assholes. Just "honest." Even the dishonest ones.

"You sound like Demon..."

"Who?" Brittney asked in her shrill voice.

Yeah, who? Who's Demon? Do you mean that character who, a few chapters ago, was notorious and feared by the entire student body? Never heard of him.

"Nevermind..."

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Damn, I think I've used up all of my "zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz" jokes and puns.

"I know! Let's play slaps!" Bee said happily.

"Slaps...? What is this?" Kori asked, tilting her head in confusion.

"It's a ridiculous hand game in which you attempt to slap each others hands." Dick explained.

"But how can we do something like that in which perhaps something very bad is happening at this very moment between Raven and----" Kori squealed in concern.

Oh yeah, that's the reason why playing stupid games is inappropriate--because two of your friends are mad at each other! Not because you're in the fucking HOLOCAUST MUSEUM, AND SUCH AN ENVIRONMENT DEMANDS AN ATMOSPHERE OF SOLEMNITY! YOU'RE DOING A GREAT JOB HONORING THE TRAGIC MURDER OF SIX MILLION OF YOUR BRETHREN THERE, KORI, YOU ISRAELI-IMMIGRANT JEW YOU!

"Hey guys!" Garfield said in a happier voice as he popped out of no where.

HOLOCAUST! MUSEUM! WHY ARE YOU IDIOTS ACTING SO DAMN HAPPY AT THE FUCKING HOLOCAUST MUSEUM?! YOU'RE PISSING ALL OVER THE ASHES OF THE DEAD, YOU PIECES OF SHIT!

"How the hell are you over here?" Victor asked. "You're supposed to be with Rae making out----"

"STOP BEING A MORON!" Bee hissed, jabbing him with her elbow very hard.

"I mean, making up with her."

This is fucking offensive.

"She's too busy talking with Demon plotting against god knows who." Garfield snorted. "They'd be a better couple, thier much more alike."

"What I am not understanding here, is how you all seem to forget about Terra so easily. She betrayed us, broke apart two of our friends, and now you do not care anymore?" Kori asked in desperation.

In the long run, Kori, what does it honestly matter?

"Let me explain. We're not...adults. We're not superheroes. Sure, we're teenagers, but I mean c'mon, even an 'arch enemy' of ours can't do much. They can do what, get us detention? That's not exactly life threatening. If something
happens, we'll deal with it then. Besides, if she doesn't want to be friends with us, that's her problem, not ours. So she knows our secrets. Big deal. Even if the whole world does know them, we're friends, and nothing will change that." Bee explained.

And here we have Bee, the character who insisted upon making Jill Stevens cry because she wanted Victor to pee in her butt, delivering a sane and level-headed analysis of the situation.

More shocking than that is that Raven wasn't the one to deliver it.

"Okay...?" Dick answered, eyebrow raised. "That was very..."

"Explanitory." Victor interrupted. "Yo, Bee, did you think that up all last night or something?"

"Actually, yes I did." Bee said proudly. "What? Someone had to explain it!"

Raven is going to fuck you up so badly for taking over her court-appointed role as designated voice of reason.

"On to the slaps game you were talking about!" Garfield announced.

"You are in denial." Dick commented.

"So what? If it keeps me happy, then I'll deal with it. I surpress rage."

"People are exceedingly explainitory today..." Kori sighed, shaking her head.

Yeah, you'd almost think that the person writing their dialogue was terrible at doing so.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Hey. Hey! Wake up! Falling asleep at the fucking Holocaust museum is a mortal sin.

"And so intermarraige was very important. And---yes? Does anyone have a question?"

"Like anyone would have a question about such a stupid topic." Brittney hissed, leaning her elbow on Terra's shoulder.

That's only slightly less offensive than the Not-Titans' nonchalant attitude toward their surroundings.

"I'm hungry, when is this thing over."

"In five minutes." Madison answered.

"How do you know that? You never carry around a watch." Terra pointed out.

"Yes, but in the small angle of sunlight showing through I can tell the time."

"Okay..."

Is Madison a Frumentarii?

"She'

[Al_Cone]

i hate this forum sometimes

i really do

part two of this chapter will be posted later on my tumblr, so just wait for the link

This post has been edited by Al_Cone: Sep 28 2011, 01:01 PM

[oneluckyduck]

These are some of the most unlikable characters I have ever encountered in fiction. I will be sad to see this mock end, Al!

[Waffleman]

You messed up your slave ship link, Al.

And now you know how me and the guys feel whenever we read a chapter of If I Were Your Nazi.

[Al_Cone]

So, for those of you who haven't yet guessed, the forum decided to do that weird glitch where it blanks out certain posts, thus preventing me from posting the second part of chapter 26 of NTL. Fortunately, as I did before with SMLoZ, I have posted it on my tumblr, formatted for your pleasure.

Follow this link here to read.

[Waffleman]

Is it really almost over? I almost can't believe it.

[Qmark]

Wow, you know, I didn't think I'd miss this story so much, but...damn. I can't believe it's almost over.

[xoxjoanxox]

Man, I can't believe this long journey is almost over. This is like, what? Your longest project ever completed?

[Al_Cone]

Man, I can't believe this long journey is almost over. This is like, what? Your longest project ever completed?

Assuming it ever does get finished, it'll have been the only.

We'll get into that when the time comes.

[Al_Cone]

Slade Wilson waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were teenagers in the school. He didn't see them but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Revolver Okilot were not listenenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now anyway.

Slade was a principal for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the schoolbuses and he said to dad "I want to teach on the schools, daddy."

Dad said "No! You will BE FRAMED BY TEENAGERS!"

There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now, here in Jefferson Co-Ed Boarding School, he knew there were teenagers.

"This is Okilot." The Codec crackered. "You must fight the teenagers!" So Slade got his Mauser and blew up the wall.

"HE GOING TO KILL US!" said the Torrasque.

"I will shoot at him!" said Josh Richaron and he fired the Decepticon blaster. Wilson Mausered at him and tried to blew him up but then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.

"No! I must fight the teenagers!" He shouted.

The Codec said "No Slade. You are the teenagers!"

And then Slade was Raven.

THE END.

[xoxjoanxox]

God damn it Al, I think you're finally finishing up and then you give me a crappy shortfic. ):<

[Max-Vader]

The Codec said "No Slade. You are the teenagers!"

And then Slade was Raven.

THE END.

[Al_Cone]

Someone needs to shop half of Slade's face over Giant Naked Rei's.

[Bitch_Please]

Someone needs to shop half of Slade's face over Giant Naked Rei's.

GOD no!

[Dr. O]

Well, I tried.

[Al_Cone]

Well, I tried.

That will do nicely. Thanks, Doc.