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> League of Angels: The Devils Gambit, This is why I hate Communism
Post #161

I'm very concerned.

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post Jul 3 2017, 08:05 AM
QUOTE (GorillaGamer @ Jul 2 2017, 09:05 AM) *
I concur. Your comparison is fully justified and apt, as at least the authors of that Kung Fu Panda train wreck had their in-fight breakup happen after they were done writing it. This fanfic here is a stellar depiction of the expected worst case scenario of a group project like this; a conflict of interests. I have no doubt that this plot development, which was entirely lazily delivered to the protagonists rather than being something they discover for themselves, is due to the shift in author management.
I could see how this fanfic could have planned on making Lizeea betray them, what with her depiction thus far, but to make the Son of Starmos a hoax does not mesh with anything up until now. At the risk of my own sanity, I've looked into the past chapters to line out the details the authors expected us to absorb about this plot point, up until this development:

- Steven was specifically targeted for castration by the minions of the Demon King, leading up to the still absent angel Vienna to examine and declare him a Son of Starmos.
- The Paragon heroes were convinced of Steven's importance by the title, Blood Baroness believed they had all died out, and Melody claims to have fucked a Son of Starmos in the past.
- Even bikers from Ride to Hell Retribution knew what a Son of Starmos was and how that was supposedly a threat to the Demon King.

I won't waste your time by weaving this any more together to explain the obvious, besides clearly stating what the purpose of that plot was to this story: Steven's only claim to being special and worth putting on the leading role of the heroes was by being a Son of Starmos, earning him the privilege of having sex and having the authors not seem too hypocritical in rewarding the bemoaning self-insert with the pussy that the villains where clamoring for.

Also, is it just semen in general the Demon King needs, or is it Steven's? Semen is not that hard to come by, no pun intended.

QUOTE (CuChulainn1290 @ Jul 2 2017, 10:45 PM) *
“I played Fire Emblem Echoes, and requested Lord Sir GorillaGamer to draw a picture. And here it is.” he showed the rebels the picture.

Can someone explain to me how there is constantly a mismatch of in-world nonsensical acknowledgements of how the Fire Emblem, Pokémon, and likely more, are game series, yet the characters are fully established and acknowledged as being part of the 'real-life' universe, and even so without dimensional portal shenanigans. I can half-accept it when its a meta-thing, but this level of inconsistent crossover-fuckery is becoming obscene at this point.
On a simpler and far more curious note, has anyone kept track of how many crossover universes have been included thus far, by the way? I'll probably check myself if no one else has.

This post has been edited by ConcernedGamer: Jul 3 2017, 08:06 AM

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Post #162

Shillin' Best Girl from Fire Emblem: Echoes

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post Jul 4 2017, 08:44 PM
@ConcernedGamer: I reckon we should do that once the fic has ended.

So after seeing CuChulainn1290 bite the dust for attempting to sell an Al Gore blow-up doll, and being accused of jerking it to Celica rape pics, I think it’s time that I mocked this chapter. The author promises that Steven will be getting two more sisters, so let’s see who else other than Celica got the short straw.

Chapter 35: Some new allies

Project AFTER Headquarters

There was an urgent meeting set up between several of the Elite agents of AFTER. Dashguy, ConcernedGamer, MasterOfNintendo, Maniak and Bonglorio all sat in the meeting room to discuss the crisis they’re facing.

“I can’t believe this has happened!” ConcernedGamer growled. “Not only did they annihilate out 100,000 man strong army, they killed my friend, Retinz. Now how will I get some sweet poon?”

I just realized that the last chapter had the 30+ rebels destroy an army consisting of 100,000 men. While successful last stands against the odds aren’t unheard of, there’s been none of that ridiculous magnitude that have succeeded.

“Ayyyyy mate, I’ve got plenty of booty to share with you…” Dashguy smirked.

“I meant HUMAN booty, not HORSE booty.” ConcernedGamer snapped.

“I want to fuck a seahorse…” Bonglorio said out of nowhere.

Don’t we all, Bonglorio?

“What we need to do is to find out these rebels darkest secrets, and expose them.” Maniak suggested. “That or we use them as blackmail material.”

“By the way, have you seen the hot new pictures that Lord Sir drew for us?” MasterOfNintendo inquired.

“Ah yes, I saw that Celica one he drew. I fucking jizzed everywhere.” Dashguy exclaimed.

“Never mind the fact that I’ve never heard of her before, she’s my Number 1 waifu.”

“Oh my god, that one was so hot!” Maniak sighed. “I wish she was my waifu…”

“Oh boy, I loved that picture as well.” ConcernedGamer wistfully sighed. “A little older than my usual, but I’ll take her.”

“Ah, but have you seen the other one he drew?” MasterOfNintendo asked the group. “Because this one is even hotter…” he grinned, as he took out the picture from his pocket and showed it to the demented men. The AFTER agents gazed at it and drooled over it.

The picture depicted a naked Clair, who was crying as she was blindfolded, gagged, and tied up with rope. There were several demeaning phrases written all over her body, indicating that she was nothing more than her tormentor’s property. There was also an active vibrator jammed into her sweet pussy.

Oh no, why? Why do this to Clair, you sick fucks?! At least we know who’s suffering alongside Celica.

Sweet Pussy Counter: 22

“Holy shit! This is fucking sexy!” ConcernedGamer drooled, as he gently caressed the growing bulge inside his pants.

“Yes…I like this slut.” Dashguy sneered. “The fact that she’s a Pegasus Knight makes things even better.”

“I don’t know who she is as well, but she’s a Pegasus Knight so that makes her 20% hotter!”

“Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes.” Principal Skinner called out. “This chick is so hot, I cannot control my emotions.”

Principal Skinner, what the fuck?!

“Quite so, my good friend.” Bonglorio grinned. “I might start jerking off to Fire Emblem characters.”

“This picture is so hot, it makes me want to drink from the turrlet to cool down.” Maniak started sweating. The disgusting agents then started to masturbate to the Fire Emblem hentai, as they blew their load all over the place, none of the splooge landing on the picture.

Thank you for letting us know that no-one got my drawing dirty. I really needed to know that…

“Ahhh…now that was a good fap.” Principal Skinner sighed. “Now what do we do?”

“We must rally together and defeat the rebel scum.” MasterOfNintendo called out. “And I have just the person to help us…” At that instant, an AFTER agent entered the room. He was a tall man, who wore a black suit, and a black cape. This was DraculaMarth, the reincarnation of the legendary vampire Dracula, and sworn enemy of the Belmont family.

And we’ve got a famous vampire helping out our world conquest.

Remind me why we’re losing again?

“Sup everyone?” he asked, as he eyed the Clair picture. “I saw that chick walking with that Celica chick that GorillaGamer drew.”

“You mean you saw the both of them?!” Bonglorio balked. “We must capture them and make them our sex slaves!”

“YES! I will trade away my beloved turrlet, just so I can lick their sweet pussies.” Maniak drooled.

You will not lay your toilet-encrusted tongue on those innocent women, Maniak!

Sweet Pussy Counter: 23

“Easy there, we need to prepare properly.” Principal Skinner pointed out.

“Don’t worry.” DraculaMarth hissed. “I’ve got plenty of swag to assist in your endeavour.”

“Like what?” ConcernedGamer asked.

“THIS!” DraculaMarth shouted, as he whipped out a large dildo. “This dildo will make those bitches cream their cunts, and submit themselves as our cum dumpsters.”

“I like it.” MasterOfNintendo replied.

“Then we have this brainwashing tool, which will make Steven’s little sisters submit to our fantasies.” DraculaMarth continued.

“I like it.” MasterOfNintendo replied.

“The rebels will be so disheartened that they’ll commit suicide.” DraculaMarth continued.

“I like it.” MasterOfNintendo replied.

“Ensuring Project AFTER’s eternal glory!! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!” DraculaMarth cackled.

That was the laziest thing I have read so far in this entire fic. And I saw those copy-paste lemons.

The rest of the agents laughed like maniacs as well, until the laughter died down.

“So what are you planning on doing to the girls?” Principal Skinner asked.

“That’s easy. I’ll grab Celica by the pussy.” Bonglorio bragged.

“You can grab her, but I’ll fuck her in the pussy!” MasterOfNintendo bragged.

“I’ll forcefeed Clair my dick!” Dashguy declared.

“I’ll fuck her in that tight ass of hers.” ConcernedGamer drooled.

“I’d take them out to dinner.” Skinner replied.

Nice Guy Skinner: He takes out his lover to dinner before fucking her.

“Of course you would. No wonder you got cucked.” Maniak scoffed the principal.

“Yeah, only dirty Liberals get cucked.” DraculaMarth scoffed.

“In that case, I’ll help you capture Celica and Clair.” Skinner offered.

“Alright then. But I get to grab them by the pussy first.” DraculaMarth stated. The two AFTER agents then left the room, leaving the others behind.


GorillaGamer, Yasuke and Kizami were walking down a dark hall, the trio being escorted by another person, a young girl with the mind and voice of a man. She had short blonde hair, blue eyes, and wore a uniform similar to that of a Nazi officer.

Hmmm, I wonder who this could be…

Welp. I don’t know what to say here.

This was Officer Giraffe, the commander-in-chief of the super-secret Project AFTER squad, known as the Skullfuckers, a twisted organisation dedicated to destroying SkullGirls and killing all of the games fans.

Ah yes, I remember how several veterans of the forum, including the Master himself have stated that the Skullgirls thread was the one that got Project AFTER the most attention. Figures that the Soviets would capitalize on that. Though you got to love how we named the group after our lord and savior, Byron the Skullfucker.

“It’s nice to take a break every so often, and come visit you.” GorillaGamer said out loud.

“Indeed, it’s good to hang out with fellow refugee haters.” Giraffe replied.

“Oh yes, those fucking parasites!” Yasuke growled. “I hate them as much as I hate Steven!”

“Remind me, what have the refugees done to deserve such scorn?” Kizami asked.

Oh boy, here comes another fucking rant about the refugees. Makes you wonder if the authors love or hate the refugees.

“They invade our country in order to sell drugs illegally, and all the pussified government does is give them our food and shelter.” GorillaGamer growled.

“Not to mention that they attack and rape our women and children, and the pussified SJW’s claim that we should let them do it.” Yasuke growled as well.

“Not only that but they attack our beliefs and bomb our buildings, forcing us good people to cower in our homes.” GorillaGamer continued.

“The worst thing is that we are FORCED to take them in, lest the faggots in the European Union denounce us. Why should we shoulder the results of America’s war?” Yasuke added.

This is the same refugee rant from the previous chapter, copy-pasted into this one! Tell me, why am I not surprised?

“Don’t worry, our forces are massacring the refugees as we speak. Makes sense, considering that the majority of SkullGirls fans are refugees.” Giraffe commented.

“I still think you’re making this whole refugee crisis out to be bigger than it really is…” Kizami commented, as Yasuke grabbed Kizami by his collar.

“Those fucking refugees are animals! How would you like it if some curry-eating child-rapist rapes your girlfriend?!” Yasuke snarled.

Poor Yasuke…he was turned from a Dumbledore-esque villain, to some one-note refugee hater. SovietUkraineMan can gag an electric cattle prod for all I care.

“I don’t have a girlfriend.” Kizami answered.

“Probably because the refugees kidnapped her and sold her into slavery.” Yasuke scoffed.

“Can we stop talking about refugees now? I’m getting a bit tired of your bile.” Kizami requested.

“HEY FUCK YOU!” Yasuke snapped, as he attempted to punch Kizami. GorillaGamer separated the two and told them not to kill each other over the refugees.

“Yes, let us talk about more important topics, such as how SkullGirls managed to get $850,000 from their fans.” Giraffe suggested.

Because Kickstarter is an easy way to get shit funded.

“How? How were they able to get so much money, from what was essentially a failed game?” Kizami asked.

“They added several fanservice characters, sexually objectifying women, while claiming that they’re feminist role models.” Giraffe replied.

“Blegh, feminism. The most disgusting word in the English dictionary.” Yasuke shivered in disgust.

“I don’t know, mansplaining is also quite icky.” GorillaGamer replied.

Personally, I find smegma to be the most disgusting word in the English dictionary. Ooze comes in at a close second though.

“But you know who created that term? Feminists.” Yasuke retorted.

“Back to the topic, we retrieved the bodies of Max and Shmeckie, and are putting them into cryostasis tubes, in order to turn them into cyborgs, capable of destroying hundreds of refugees.” Giraffe smirked. “Then we shall launch a nuke at Sweden and destroy the pussified heart of the European Union.”

“Yes! That ought to kill off those cucks for good!” Yasuke grinned.

“Indeed, the liberals will be destroyed, and we can rule over the world!” GorillaGamer chuckled evilly.

And we can achieve this goal by destroying a fairly well-known fighting game.

The group of four then entered a secret lab, and gazed upon Shmeckie and Max in the cryostasis tubes.

Boreal Forest

Steven and his little sisters were scouting the forest again, under the orders of Draconia. The group decided to talk among themselves to alleviate the boredom.

“So, is there anything you want to do today once we’re done?” Steven asked.

Now it’s time for all of Steven’s priceless dolls to spout one line before declaring him to be the best big brother of all time.

“Well, I would like to do a little practice for a play we were going to do, before this whole thing happened.” Nari commented.

“A play? Are you an actor?” Steven questioned.

“Uh-Huh, all three of us are in the school’s drama club. It’s how we met each other.” Chihaya replied.

“It was my favourite part of school.” Nana added.

“Wow, you must all be very talented!” Nino praised the schoolgirls.

That’s not the only thing the girls are talented in, if you catch my drift…

“Yeah, I wouldn’t mind participating in a play.” Luna admitted. “As for what I’d like to do, I guess I am fine with reading a book or two.”

“I like reading books as well.” Aya commented. “What are your favourite genres?”

“I’ve always had a fascination with mystery novels.” Luna replied.

“Mystery novels? They’ve always been a bit too complicated for me…” Billy admitted.

Of course mystery novels are too complicated for you, Little Miss Cowgirl.

“That’s the point of the mystery, they’re meant to confuse you. All you need is some logical thinking, and the mystery can be solved.” Lilina pointed out.
“Quite right. As for me, I’m content with having a little tea break.” Clarine said.

“Yeah! I like tea breaks.” Elise smiled.

“Uhh, is it alright if I join you?” Sakura asked.

“Sure thing. The more the merrier.” Clarine replied. Just then, their conversation was interrupted by the sound of two women calling out for help.

“Oh no! Someone’s in danger.” Aya said out loud.

Time for another confrontation between Steven and his sister-harem, and the meanie Trump-supporting pedophiles.

“Come on, we can’t leave them behind!” Steven declared, as the group headed towards the source of the noise. They stumbled upon a clearing, where they saw several Project AFTER thugs tie up a pair of very pretty girls. (The girls are Celica and Clair from Fire Emblem: Echoes. Google them up if you want to see what they look like.) The two leaders of the group were bickering among each other.

Oh…looks like they didn’t make it in time. Hi-five team!

“Why are we tying them up again?” Principal Skinner asked.

“Hehehe, so we can rape them and make them our slaves.” DraculaMarth sneered.

“Rape them?! I never agreed to that!” Skinner exclaimed.

“Too bad, they are women, so they much submit to our desires!” DraculaMarth scoffed, drooling over the prospect of treating the women like cum dumpsters.

“You know what? I quit! I thought you were a group of down-to-earth people, but you’re all nothing but a bunch of psychopaths!” Skinner declared.

“If that’s the case, then you will die you communist pig!” DraculaMarth snarled, as he stabbed Skinner with a knife, and ordered the agents to drag Clair and Celica away.

How does not wanting to rape women translate as being a communist? Are the chucklefucks who wrote this implying that capitalism makes you more likely to rape women?

“Billy, you pursue them, but stay safe!” Steven called out, as he and Aya ran up to the wounded Skinner.

“Got it!” Billy smiled, as she quickly ran after the evil goons. The rest of the group had checked up on the wounded Skinner.

“Argh…I wish I never joined that group.” Skinner muttered in pain.

“Project AFTER?” Steven inquired.

“Yes. When I first heard of them, I thought it was a club where people talk about their issues over a beer or two. But I never expected them to be a far-right hate group.” Skinner admitted.

“For one thing, they kept worshiping this frog named Pepe. I have no idea what that’s about.”

“I take it you’ve never heard of them.” Nino inquired.

“Yeah, as the principal of Springfield Elementary, I’ve never heard of these goons.” Skinner told them. “They did tell me a few things though.”

“In that case, we’ll patch you up, and you can tell us what you know.” Steven replied. “We’ll split up into two groups. Lilina, Elise, Sakura, Nana, Nari and Chihaya will return back to base with Skinner and report our findings. The rest of us will follow Billy and rescue the captives.” The two groups then went their separate ways and followed out their orders.

Project AFTER Warehouse.

DraculaMarth was leering over the tied-up figures of Celica and Clair, who were wearing nothing but their bras and panties. (Celica: Pink. Clair: Black.)

Because we all needed to know what color underwear these young ladies are wearing…

The wicked agent whipped out his semi-erect cock and caressed it over their bodies, as the rest of the agents whipped out their cocks as well.

“Ah yes, you have such magnificent bodies…” DraculaMarth crooned, gently rubbing his stinky cock over Clair’s slender frame.

“Y-You will take that horrid thing off me this instant!” Clair demanded.

Evidently, Clair isn’t a fan of vampire dick.

“Shut up you slut! Now let me grab you two by the pussy…” DraculaMarth sneered, as he attempted to lower Clair and Celica’s panties, only to get his shoulder shot by a figure standing in the door frame.

“You let those girls go this instant!” Billy demanded. This angered the AFTER agents.

“You little whore! How dare you shoot our master!” an agent snarled. Just then Steven, Nino, Luna, Winda, Clarine and Aya showed up alongside Billy.

“Do what she says, or else I will kill you!” Steven demanded, pointing his sword at the evil men.

You’re just gonna kill them anyway, so why bother threatening them?

“No way! I earnt these bitches fair and square. I have every right to have my way with them.” DraculaMarth sneered.

“No you don’t! These women have a right to choose, and you better believe they don’t want it.” Aya called out, as DraculaMarth gazed at the little girl.

“Ah yes, you must be Aya. Lord Sir has promised me a generous reward for your capture.” DraculaMarth sneered.

Why would I want that crybaby back? I got Chiaki, so I’m all good.

“I will not let you lay a hand on my sister!” Steven declared, as he slaughtered all of the AFTER mooks, leaving DraculaMarth on his own.

“Ha! Is that the best you can do? Now as I was going to—huh?” DraculaMarth explained, as he noticed that the two girls had gotten redressed and were no longer tied up. Before he could utter a word, Celica stabbed him with her sword, killing the man.

“That’s what you get for tying us up, you pervert!” Celica boldly stated, as she turned to face the rebels. “Thank you for saving us, my name’s Celica.”

Steven barely did a thing.

“No problem. We’re happy to help out whenever we can.” Steven replied. “It’s nice to meet you two.”

“Oh my, what a dashing young man.” Clair commented. “The name’s Clair, it’s nice to meet you all.”

“Wait, Celica?” Nino called out. “Our friend Lilina knows you, doesn’t she?”

“Why yes she does. The three of us are good friends.” Celica replied.

I would question how this is possible, but that would be the equivalent of talking to a brick wall.

“Why don’t we take you two back to our place, so you three can reunite with each other?” Steven offered, as the group exited the now abandoned warehouse.

Rebel Base

Steven had reunited Celica and Clair with Lilina, and requested that she give them a tour of the place. He was standing outside on a balcony, when Draconia walked up to him.

“So how’d the interrogation go?” Steven asked.

“Better than I expected. That Skinner fellow was quite a decent man, giving us info on a little group known as the Skullfuckers.” Draconia replied. “They’re said to be this top secret group within Project AFTER, whom GorillaGamer himself bows to.”

“I see…” Steven replied. “And what of Skinner?”

“We’re keeping him here until his wounds heal. Perhaps then we may get some more info out of him.” Draconia answered.

“Alright then, I’m heading back to my dorm. See you all tomorrow.” Steven replied, as he made his way to his dorm.

Long live the Soviet Union!

Yeah, yeah. Long live the legion of dumbfucks. Honestly, this was one of those tame chapters that get sprinkled in, between all the insanity. StabbyKobold has the next two chapters, so I’ll see you in Chapter 38.

List of mocks can be found here: Here

QUOTE (AnItalianGuy @ May 27 2016, 02:03 AM) *
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
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Post #163

Critically Sarcastic

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post Jul 6 2017, 01:50 AM
I’m back on the frontlines, ready to take another shot. Or bullet. You know, since the last one killed me. Anyway, last chapter saw the sudden and inexplicable introduction of Principal Skinner, who becomes a turncoat after a friendly stabbing over a minor disagreement about women’s bodily autonomy. Let’s see how he can help our intrepid and ever damsel rescuing heroes. Enjoy.


Previously, Steven and Co. rescued Celica and Clair from the clutches of DraculaMarth. They then learnt of a secret group in Project AFTER that GorillaGamer bows down to.

Ah, yes, the Skullfuckers. A group dedicated to the elimination of the game Skullgirls and its fans. I wonder if their name is eponymous of their tactics – Byron would have loved that.

Chapter 36: The Twisted Secrets of the Twisted Samurai

Rebel base

It was a bright and sunny day in Ivalice; the birds were singing, the sun was shining brightly and there was very little noise. However that will change very shortly, when Steven was abruptly woken from his dream.

You’re absolutely right, Steven’s presence is nothing but noise.

“Aww man…why’d you have to wake me up?” Steven grumbled to Rose Knight, as the former got out of bed.

“It was Draconia’s orders sir. She requested that everyone meet up in the meeting hall.” Rose Knight reported.

“Alright, alright. I’ll get dressed and I’ll meet you there.” Steven replied, as Rose Knight exited the room. A few minutes later, the young man had reunited with everyone in the meeting hall. Celica was casually chatting to Nino, Clarine and Lilina about the various spells she learnt during her time as a priestess. Clair was sitting beside Winda and Luna, and turned to give Steven a wink, before resuming her discussion with Winda and Luna.

I can only assume the little sister posse is acting like wingmen in order to score Steven some more bed partners.

“Ah good, everyone is here.” Draconia replied, as she sat on her throne, with Principal Skinner sitting beside her on a chair. “You’ll be happy to know that Skinner has recalled more details about Project AFTER, and their secret sub-group.” The rebels then turned their attention to the elementary school principal.

“A-ah, it’s my turn to speak.” Skinner stammered, as he cleared his throat. “As I was saying, this Project AFTER has a secret sub-group in them, called the Skullfuckers, pardon my language.”

I’m assuming we originally let him join our group just by virtue of having an torture implying name.

“Ehh, it’s fine. We’ve heard way worse than that.” Crimson Rose commented. “So who are these Skullfuckers?”

“They’re this group that is even more far right than the regular members of Project AFTER. Their goal is to eradicate some game called SkullGirls, or something.” Skinner answered.

“SkullGirls? I like that game. Why would they want to destroy it?” Aria questioned.

Our modus operandi has been the exact same since day one. When will you guys stop questioning our motives? Just assume that we do things for bad reasons.

“I don’t know, something about it being a faux female-empowerment game or something.” Skinner suggested.

“Of course. Those AFTER freaks hate any women who doesn’t make sandwiches for them.” Aurora Blade scoffed. “Anything else?”

“Well I overheard something about the Skullfuckers massacring innocent refugees.” Skinner added.

“How could those awful people do this to the poor refugees?” Nereida asked sadly.

“Because they’re terrible people. They love spreading their vile hate across the internet, in the hopes of creating a race war.” Shadow Stalker replied.

Attached Image

We’re out there massacring people already, though. I think you should give us more credit for being proactive about it.

“Yeah, we won’t let Project AFTER defeat us!” Steven declared. Just then Principal Skinner noticed the young man.

“Steven, isn’t it? I overheard the grunts mentioning you by name. Apparently one of their commanders knows the location of a prisoner you know, some girl named Chiaki.” Skinner called out, as Steven ran up to then man and grabbed him.

“Chiaki?! You know where she is?! Please tell me!” Steven requested, his hands sweating like crazy.

Take it down a notch, Steven. You’re almost more desperate to get Chiaki than GorillaGamer is, and that’s saying something.

“I-I don’t know where she is, but I know the name of the commander who does.” Skinner stammered.

“Then who is it?! Please tell me, I need to know!” Steven demanded.

“An infamous prosecutor known as Simon Blackquill.” Skinner replied.

“Bonglorio?!” Steven referred to Blackquill by his Project AFTER username. “How does he know about Chiaki?”

Do you think the authors want to imply something by filling our ranks with lawyers, or am I reading too much into this?

“Beats me, but I heard that he was going to be stationed at a Project AFTER camp in the forest.” Skinner replied. Steven nodded in appreciation and immediately stormed off towards his room.

“And where are you going young man?” Draconia asked.

“Get off my back, MOM!”

“I’m going to confront Blackquill and make him fess up Chiaki’s location. I don’t care what you say, I’m going to save her!” Steven declared, as he walked briskly to his room. A few minutes later, he had done packing, when he was confronted by his little sisters. “Is something the problem?”

You’re late for afternoon head-pats and coddling, obviously.

“Are…are you going to rescue your friend?” Nino asked.

“Of course sweetie. I’d do anything to save her.” Steven replied.

“May I ask about who she is?” Clair inquired.

“She’s the childhood friend of Steven, who was forced to be the personal sex slave of GorillaGamer.” Luna answered. “As you can see, she means a lot to Steven.”

“Oh no…she’s going through the same pain as I went through.” Aya sympathised with Chiaki. “I’m coming with you, big brother!”

Why doesn’t everyone come with him? He’s established himself as a pretty integral part of the group, and it’s not like this is some station out in the middle of nowhere. It’s a Project AFTER camp, the closest one to the rebel base in fact – I think the Ivalician Rebellion can fit it into their anti-AFTER war effort.

“I appreciate your offer, but I must do this on my own.” Steven replied.

“Huh? But we’re a team, and we never leave our friends behind.” Nari called out.

“I know, but the last thing I want to happen is to lose one of you. You all mean so much to me.” Steven replied. “I won’t let another one of you be reduced to a plaything for that monster GorillaGamer.”

Which is why you continue to let them serve in the army that put them directly in harm’s way. Nope, can’t see anything wrong here.

“I…I see.” Clarine replied. “In that case, we all wish for your successful return.”

“I shall pray for the safety of you and your friends.” Celica blessed the young man.

That’s funny, I don’t see that ability on her skill list.

“Yeah, you can do it!” Elise cheered, as the rest of Steven’s sisters offered their support.

“Thank you all, so very much.” Steven smiled, wiping a tear from his eye, as he hugged all of his sisters. “Let Draconia know of my mission.” The young man then hopped out of his bedroom window and began his lonely trek to the Project AFTER camp where Blackquill was stationed in.

“Stay safe Steven; please don’t die like my daddy did…” Lilina wished Steven a safe trip.

Don’t you worry, Lilina. I’m sure Steven’s death will be much more undignified. Too bad is going to be old age.

Project AFTER Headquarters

Several commanders were discussing on their next plan of attack, in the event that the rebels storm the base.

“Those rebels are getting bolder as we speak. They’ve been capturing our bases, and preventing us from getting some sweet, sweet poon.” Dashguy called out.

“Commander Blackquill has been stationed in the forest base closest to the rebels.” MasterOfNintendo commented. “And Maniak has been relocated to Camp Peonis.”

“I don’t know why I’m mentioning these thing, they just seem relevant somehow.”

“Camp Peonis? I’ve been meaning to pick up some new children to whet my appetite for loli poon.” ConcernedGamer replied, as GorillaGamer, Yasuke and Kizami entered the room.

“Greetings men, I take it that you’ve been enjoying a wonderful discussion.” GorillaGamer greeted his men.

“Yes sir, we discussed about Blackquill’s relocation to the forest base, near where the rebels are.” MasterOfNintendo commented.

“Enough about that, I need to vent some more about the fucking refugees!” Yasuke growled, annoying Kizami.

Let me guess, they bomb buildings, they rape women and children, and they are protected by the EU? Honestly, you could train a parrot to say these things, and we wouldn’t be able to tell it apart from you, Yasuke.

“For the love of—shut up about the fucking refugees!” Kizami snapped. “How many of your family members did they rape?!”


“Who the fuck is Ryoko?” Kizami asked.

“She’s MY woman, and I won’t let anyone say otherwise! Not you, not the refugees, and especially not that beta-cuck Steven!” Yasuke retorted. “I’m going to go to the bathroom to calm down, Lord Sir.” Yasuke bowed to GorillaGamer, before leaving the room.

“What the hell is his problem?” ConcernedGamer asked.

Refugees. Weren’t you listening?

“He’s been like that ever since one of Steven’s friends took his first girlfriend away from him.” GorillaGamer replied, narrowing his eyes. “That fucking cocksucker has taken away all our girlfriends!”

“You had a girlfriend?” Kizami inquired, as GorillaGamer began to sniffle.

“Yes…” GorillaGamer replied, as he showed Kizami a picture of him and Peri cuddling each other. “She was my precious little Peri, and that motherfucker Steven killed her!”

“Ahh…now I know why he likes her so much.” Dashguy commented.

“I will admit that she’s pretty.” MasterOfNintendo added.

This is the chick with pink-blue hair and heterochromia, right? Her hair reminds me of a sour candy I like to eat, so I guess she’s alright.

“Meh, I prefer Nino, and Nowi.” ConcernedGamer replied.

“Hmmm…” Kizami hummed to himself, as GorillaGamer put the picture away.

“Now then, in the event that Blackquill fails, what do we do?” GorillaGamer asked.

“Maniak had relocated Chiaki and Sonia to Camp Peonis, and is overseeing the place.” Dashguy reported.

“What?! I gave no such order to relocate Chiaki and Sonia.” GorillaGamer called out.

Nor was it an answer to the question about backup plans, so double minus points for you, Dashguy.

“Huh, what’s this Camp Peonis?” Kizami asked.

“It’s our most fortified concentration camp, where Steven was originally housed, before he escaped with Nino and Luna.” MasterOfNintendo answered.

“That fucker is going to pay for taking Nino away from me!” ConcernedGamer snarled. Just then a calmed down Yasuke entered the room.

“Forgive give me for my earlier outburst.” Yasuke apologised. “So what’s the situation?”

Quick, someone mention refugees, maybe he’ll leave again.

“Maniak had the wise idea to relocate my precious Chiaki and Sonia to Camp Peonis.” GorillaGamer replied. “Hopefully the guards there won’t lay a hand on my property.”

“Yeah, and hopefully Blackquill storms the rebel base and kidnaps Steven’s little sisters.” ConcernedGamer drooled. “What I wouldn’t give to taste Nino’s loli ass again…”

“Uhhh, how old is this Nino chick?” Kizami asked, agitating ConcernedGamer.

Fourteen, but I’m not sure the taste of ass is dependent on its vintage.

“Age is just a number, you pedophobic prick!” ConcernedGamer snapped, as he stormed out of the room, with Dashguy, MasterOfNintendo, GorillaGamer and Yasuke following suit.

“What’s everyone’s problem today?” Kizami asked, as he laid down on the couch and proceeded to take a nap.

Project AFTER forest base

Steven had successfully infiltrated the base, and snagged a Heckler & Koch MP5 submachine gun, with a retractable stock, an early handguard, and a red dot sight, from a guard he had killed.

Ooh, gun porn! Oh author, you shouldn’t have. No, really, you shouldn’t.

The young man then found a silencer on the table and attached it to his gun, making its shots much quieter. He had one goal in mind; confront Blackquill and force him to divulge Chiaki’s location. Steven continued his infiltration, when he spotted a few guards. He fired his gun at the guards, killing them all. Steven then snuck past their bodies and walked into another room.

The new room was quite empty, save for some boxes and around half a dozen guards.

Ah, yes, quite empty indeed.

Steven fired his gun at the guards, killing them all instantly. He then rummaged around the room and found a map of the facility. Marking the location of the administrator’s office, Steven tucked the map in his pocket and continued his merry way. He then walked into the mess hall, which was swarming with AFTER grunts.

Let me guess. Steven fires his gun and kills them all, effortlessly?

“Hey, what the fuck are ya’ doing here?” an agent growled.

“I’m here for Blackquill. If you get in my way, I’ll kill you!” Steven called out

“Oh yeah? You and what army?” a second agent scoffed. Steven responded by firing his submachine gun at the enemies, killing them all.

Attached Image

Steven then ran through the room and made his way through the corridor, until he ran up a few flights of stairs and got to a door. The door read “Commander’s Office.” Steven knew this is where Blackquill was hiding; the young man then opened the door and entered the darkened room. He switched on the light and spotted an all too familiar figure in the room.

“So, you have arrived…” the figure turned around, and revealed himself to be Blackquill.

Has he been waiting in the office with the lights off ever since Chiaki was transferred to Camp Peonis?

“Blackquill! I am here for you!” Steven growled.

“And what is it that the miserable little whelp wants?” Blackquill scoffed, not at all intimidated by Steven.

“You will tell me where Chiaki is, right now!” Steven demanded.

“…Camp Peonis.” Blackquill replied, placing a hawk’s feather in his mouth. Steven shuddered upon hearing those two words; his friend was being held in that accursed hellhole that he imprisoned at.

Exactly why hasn’t the Rebellion done anything to liberate the camp yet? You’d think it would be a bit high on the to-do list.

However he was a bit suspicious of Blackquill’s willingness to answer.

“Is she really at Camp Peonis?” Steven double checked.

“Yes. Her friend Sonia is there as well. I heard she’s a princess or something.” Blackquill confirmed, a little pissed off that he was asked the same question again.

“And why did you answer my question, despite me being the enemy?” Steven asked uneasily. Blackquill smirked as he unsheathed his large katana and pointed it at the young man.

“You assume that you will leave this place alive.” Blackquill smiled sinisterly. “But you will pay for your crimes against AFTER.”

In that case, Steven should seek some legal help; get himself an attorney. I’m sure we’re all thinking of the same person here. Yeah, that’s right – Matlock!

Damn, I’m getting old.

“Alright then motherfucker, it’s a sword fight you want…” Steven retorted, casting aside his submachine gun and unsheathed his own sword. “Then let’s fight, birdfucker!”

Steven charged at Blackquill and began swinging his sword at the older man. Blackquill smirked and blocked the sword with his own, the steel of each blade clashing with each other. Steven then jumped back and attempted to charge again, swinging his sword like before. Blackquill blocked it and kicked Steven in the chest, sending him flying.

Now, I’m sure you think this story is getting repetitive, but once in a while we are graced with combat sequences that aren’t just effortless, one-sided slaughter.

“Is that all you got?” Blackquill asked.

“I’ve got plenty more where that came from!” Steven quipped, as he charged at Blackquill and began swinging his sword at the older man. Blackquill smirked and blocked the sword with his own, the steel of each blade clashing with each other. Steven then jumped back and attempted to charge again, swinging his sword like before. Blackquill blocked it and kicked Steven in the chest, sending him flying.

Now, I’m sure you think this story is getting repetitive…

“Pathetic…you’re as predictable and as slow as a sloth.” Blackquill taunted the young man. “Why don’t you go back to playing your shitty hentai games?”

“ARRRGGGHH!! You leave my hentai games alone!” Steven snarled, as he charged recklessly at Blackquill and began swinging his sword like a lunatic.

Remind me, who are the ones supposed to be perverted man-children in this story?

Despite his skill and expertise, Blackquill was unable to continue the defense, and was eventually stabbed in the gut by Steven.

“Argh…you may have beaten me, but you’ll never rescue your friend.” Blackquill gasped in pain.

“Die motherfucker!” Steven growled, as he picked up his gun and shot at the wounded Blackquill, killing him instantly. Steven then walked up to Blackquill’s desk and rummaged through it, picking himself some additional intel, as well as a map of Camp Peonis.

Ah, yes, “additional intel”. Totally not his porn stash. Totally.

He pocketed the intel, and took a picture of Blackquill’s corpse. He stared at the back wall for a few seconds, when a loud bang rocketed the room. Steven cried out in pain, as he clutched the bullet wound on his thigh and fell to the ground. He turned around and saw the imposing figure of the corrupt Minister of Justice: Inga Karkhuul Khura’in. However Steven knew his Project AFTER penname.

“Ma-Maniak!” Steven gasped in pain.

Nice shot, Maniak. Mind aiming a bit higher next time?

“Ha! That is but a silly penname I conjured up for the forums. My full name is Inga Karkhuul Haw’kohd Dis’nahm Bi’ahni Lawga Ormo Pohmpus Da’nit Ar’edi Iz Khura’in III.” Inga smirked, as he fired another round into Steven’s other thigh. “Not that you deserve to know my name.”

“Ahh…so you’re one of the major players in Project AFTER!” Steven called out, as he groaned in pain.”

Attached Image

Who isn’t a major player, really? All our organization consists off are named individuals and faceless but exceedingly fearless mooks.

“Obviously. My position grants Project AFTER a massive amount of power, such as letting their members get off scot free for their crimes.” Inga explained, as he shot Steven twice in the stomach, causing the young man to cry out in pain, as he fainted into unconsciousness.

No, no, that was too high, Maniak. Oh well, that was surprisingly effective, all past combat encounters considered. Did we just not give our units live ammunition or something?

Just then, a large group of Project AFTER reinforcements came into the office.

“Reporting for duty—is that the body of Commander Blackquill?” a soldier called out.

“Yes, unfortunately our dear comrade has perished.” Inga mourned the loss of Blackquill. “Luckily for us, we have the culprit right here. And it’s none other than Steven Pegasus.”

“Sir, what do you wish for us to do?” a second solder asked.

Well, he doesn’t have a pussy to grab, so I can understand their uncertainty.

“Patch him up and take him to Camp Peonis. I don’t want him to die before we really make him suffer.” Inga chuckled maniacally, as the soldiers picked up Steven’s unconscious body and exited the room, with their commander in tow.

Long live the Soviet Union!

And although I’m not including the list, I will note that aside from Steven’s name, there’s only like two other males listed on the heroes’ side. How long until those are phased out too, I wonder.


Steven is going back to where it all began – Camp Peonis. I hope they’ve increased their security, otherwise what’s the point of sending a successful escapee back to the place he escaped from? As GorillaGamer mentioned, I’m tasked with the next chapter as well, and I’m already working on it. It might still take a day or two, though.

"So... preparing to storm into the room, you jostle your badger, kick down the door, and throw it at the thug standing inside." - Moment from my D&D campaign.

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Post #164

Critically Sarcastic

Group: Members
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post Jul 8 2017, 09:10 AM
Coming in hot, here’s the next chapter of Steven’s heroic escapades. Last chapter, Steven got captured by Maniak after having killed Bonglorio in a sword fight. For whatever reason, killing Steven then and there wasn’t a priority, even though it would solve pretty much all of Project AFTER’s problems. Instead, he got carted off to the place he was planning on going to save Chiaki. So let’s all take a field trip to wonderful and scenic Camp Peonis. Enjoy.


Previously, Steven had set out on a solo expedition to rescue his friend Chiaki, from Project AFTER’s tyrannical grasp.

Yeah, and he fucked up, because learning from past experiences isn’t a thing he does. Did he forget what happened with Meathook?

He learns of her information after defeating Blackquill, but was shot into unconsciousness by the corrupt Justice Minister: Inga Karkhuul Khura’in. The young man was then transported to the dreaded camp Peonis.

Note: There will be a lemon in this chapter

Oh, goodie. At least tell me it’s after he gets out of the concentration camp – time and place, just saying.

Chapter 37: Heartfelt Reunion

Camp Peonis: Cell Block A: 10 days later

Steven’s eyes fluttered open, as he got up off the creaky bed and looked around them room. He was back in the dreaded Camp Peonis, the place where so much suffering and pain has happened.

Speaking of which, how much pain and suffering should four gunshot wounds and ten days worth of starvation and dehydration cause again?

He remembered how he had wound up here a second time; after defeating Blackquill and retrieving a map of the death camp, he was shot in the leg by Inga, and taken away to this accursed place. A guard had noticed that Steven had woken up and opened the cell door.

“Alright you little shit, there’s a meeting that all prisoners must attend.” The guard barked, as he cuffed the young man and dragged him away. Eventually the duo arrived to the large courtyard and Steven was ordered to join the rest of the prisoners.

No, no, don’t waste any time describing the dismal scenery, the inhumane conditions of the prison camp, or the suffering and terror that happens on a minute to minute basis – none of that is interesting at all.

Steven scanned the crowd for a few minutes, but didn’t see a sign of Chiaki, or her friend Sonia. The guard then dragged Steven away, and forced him to sit on a chair atop a wooden podium.

“Attention!” another guard barked into a megaphone. “You will all rise and stay silent, as our glorious warden makes his speech. Steven had a hunch on who the warden was, and was proven right when Inga walked onto the podium and took the megaphone from the guard.

“Prisoners! You are all here because you committed the heinous crime of opposing Project AFTER. Not only that, but you continue to poison the internet with your poorly written fanfictions, Social Justice conspiracies, and other wretched filth!” Inga called out into the megaphone.

“Why we allow you people free Wi-Fi is a mystery to me.”

“All of you are destined to die here, for your crimes against humanity.”

“Lies! You’re the ones who deserve to be punished for your crimes!” Steven growled at Inga, as the guard elbowed Steven in the stomach.

“Ah yes, I forgot about you.” Inga muttered at Steven, as he turned to face the crowed again.

That’s not short-term memory problems, Steven is just that forgettable.

“You remember that announcement about a foolish prisoner escaping this camp and joining the rebels to free you? Well guess who we have here? Your last ray of hope has been extinguished by the might of AFTER!” The crowd then grew a forlorn expression on their face, as if they had lost all hope.

Those poor people, so oppressed and destitute that they have to share the same face.

“Don’t give up everyone! I will free you all from this accursed place!” Steven promised, as he was soon knocked unconscious by Inga’s fist.

“Shut up you fool!” Inga barked, as he turned to the prisoners again. “I do not want a repeat of what this kid has done, otherwise I won’t be as merciful…” the warden then handed over the megaphone back to the guard, before walking back to his office.

“You heard the boss, now get back to work!” the guard demanded, as several armed soldiers dragged the prisoners to their stations.

What’s with all the dragging of people? I’m pretty sure they still have legs to walk on, or are they sharing a single pair as well?

Steven’s cell: 4 days later

“Urggh…” Steven groaned, as he got up off his bed. “Knocked out again.” He grumbled to himself, as his guard entered the cell and grabbed his arm.

Attached Image

Steven, you’re now going two weeks without food or water, likely still with bullets embedded in your stomach. I’m telling you this in the hopes that whatever cartoon logic exists in this world will kick in, and you’ll finally die.

“Alright, you little shit! Time for you to work!” the guard growled, as he dragged Steven away. The duo eventually reached a large, dusty field outside the prison complex, where several prisoners were toiling away with pickaxes in the blistering heat.

Funny how the climate is just whatever it needs to be to fit the theme of the place.

“Listen hear, asshole. Your task is to dig through the rocks to find any valuables for Project AFTER. If you find something, you must report it to the guards. Attempting to smuggle something for yourself will net you an hour in the Electric Box, where you will get your ass electrocuted. Do you understand?!” the guard barked.

“Yeah, yeah. I get it.” Steven retorted.

“And don’t go escaping like you did the last time, you worthless maggot.” The guard snarled, as he soon walked off.

“If you escape, so help me, I’ll drag someone else all around this place – that’ll teach you!”

‘Fucking piece of shit…’ Steven muttered, as he picked up his pickaxe and began breaking the rocks. The sun was incredibly hot today, as Steven was sweating like crazy. Several prisoners were starting to suffer from sunstroke, with at least six of them collapsing to the floor, never to awaken again. The cold-hearted guards dragged the dead bodies away, and brought in new prisoners to replace them. Steven recognised the prisoner next to him and struck up a casual chat while they were breaking the rocks.

“Hey there Paul, it’s been a while, hasn’t it?” Steven greeted.

“Steven, is that you?” Paul replied. “How’d you get back here?”

Sounds like someone wasn’t present at the ‘all prisoners’ meeting four days ago.

“I was arrested after assassinating Commander Blackquill, in an attempt to find out where Chiaki’s location is.” Steven replied.

“That was you?” Paul asked, with Steven nodding his head. “That must mean you’re that mysterious rebel leader everyone’s talking about.”

“Huh?” Steven inquired.

“Project AFTER has set up a large bounty on your head, for your capture. And it seems that Inga’s about to cash it in.” Paul explained.

Easiest money he’s ever made, in my opinion.

“So how have things been going since I escaped?” Steven asked.

“Absolutely terrible!” Paul replied. “The last warden, Shockwave S08 was executed by GorillaGamer for his failure. Inga took the job and has ruled over the place with an iron grip. Speaking of the devil…” the prisoner muttered, as the wicked warden came out to inspect the prisoners.

Hey, at least he’s not wasting time by sitting in a dark office all day. I’m looking at your corpse, Bonglorio.

“Ah, what a wonderful day for a walk. I do hope the prisoners are not tiring themselves out…” Inga said nonchalantly to a guard.

“Why yes sir. It’s a wonderful day to do some light exercise.” The guard replied. Just then, Inga spotted another prisoner, looking at their feet, and generally acting suspicious.

“And what’s the matter with you?!” Inga demanded an answer from the prisoner.

“Uuhh, nothing sir!” the prisoner stammered.

Come on, unnamed prisoner, you can do it – ask him to the prom.

“Guards! Perform a search of the prisoner!” Inga demanded, as a pair of guards patted down the prisoner, and retrieved what looked like a nugget of gold.

“Uuhh, I don’t know how that got there sir!” The prisoner replied, scared out of his wits. Inga’s smirk turned into a look of fury, as he whipped out his handgun and shot the prisoner in the head, killing them instantly.

“He killed the guy!” Steven gasped quietly, as Inga commanded the total attention of the prisoners.

“You see this?!” he barked in an agitated tone, pointing at the dead body. “This is what happens when you try to take my hard-earned valuables from me!”

Right you are, Maniak, but the problem runs deeper than that. See, the gold in itself would actually be worthless to the prisoners in the camp, as it can’t be consumed or be made into effective tools, and it’s mere possession would be a death sentence. The only reason the prisoner would have for stealing it would be to pay off corrupt guards.

“Hard-earned my ass…” Steven muttered, glaring at the twisted warden. Inga noticed this and walked up to Steven, his trademark smirk back on his face.

“Awww, what’s the matter? Were you hoping I’d spare that prisoner?” Inga mocked the young man. “I can feel your anger from here. Try not to do what that fool did, alright?” the evil man laughed like crazy, as he walked off with the nugget in his hand. Steven then turned back to his duties and continued to break the rocks. After four more hours of back-breaking labour, the guards ordered everyone to drop their pickaxes and return to their cells.

They weren’t being dragged because they needed the extra exercise.


Steven checked the schedule for tomorrow and sighed to himself; tomorrow was going to be another day of back-breaking labour, intense heat, and daily beatings. The worst part was that he still had no idea on where Chiaki was. Had Inga relocated her to another complex, while he was knocked out? Steven figured that it was best that he get whatever sleep he could get, and began to doze off in his bed.

You could always just pretend you’re unconscious for a couple of days, Steven. It doesn’t seem like the guards tried to wake you the previous four mornings.

Warden’s Office.

Inga was grinning like a lunatic; his plan to relocate Chiaki and Sonia to Camp Peonis, in order to lure Steven there worked like a charm. Sure it came at the cost of Commander Blackquill, but sacrifices had to be made in order to achieve your goals.

“Hahaha! This day couldn’t go any better!” Inga smirked, as he dipped his teaspoon into a jar of Nutella and ate the spoonful of chocolaty goodness.

Oh, now that is just undignified. Use a tablespoon like at big boy.

The large monitor flickered to life, as GorillaGamer appeared on the screen.

“Tell me, how’s the camp going?” GorillaGamer inquired.

“Fantastically well, Lord Sir.” Inga replied, eating another spoonful of Nutella. “Have you heard the news about Blackquill’s death?”

After two weeks, he had better have. What kind of shoddy communications network wouldn’t we have?

“Yes.” GorillaGamer replied sadly. “He was a valuable member of the team.”

“Well we captured the assassin, and guess who it is? Steven Pegasus himself.” Inga continued. “I’ll send him to you, as well as Chiaki and Sonia.”

“Excellent!” A wicked grin appeared on GorillaGamer’s face. “Now I can enact my revenge on that filthy rockspider! I’ll pick up the three of them within a week. I’ll even let you watch me torture him.”

“Indeed. I can’t wait to see it.” Inga smirked.

It’s probably just going to be another re-run of nail-ripping and dick-sparklers.

“As for your reward, once I’m done with her, I’ll allow you to keep Sonia as your personal sex-slave.” GorillaGamer replied.

“Thank you master.” Inga replied.

“No problem. Just don’t let anything happen to them.” GorillaGamer ended the transmission, as the monitor switched off. Inga then ate another spoonful of Nutella and smirked to himself, not only was he going to get stinking rich, but he was going to get a pretty little thing to service his needs. Everything was going smoothly for the twisted man, but not for long.

Is that so, dear narrator? Oh, please, tell us more of this interesting and suspenseful story.

Mess Hall: Day 21

Today was the big day, the day that Steven will be handed over to GorillaGamer. He was told this by Inga a couple of days ago, not that the young man cared.

We don’t either, really.

While Inga and his Project AFTER thugs were scoffing delicious meals, Steven and Paul had been planning a massive coup of the camp, and had been smuggling weapons into the mess hall with the help of several crafty prisoners. Then, they sent taunting letters to several guards, encouraging them to discipline the prisoners.

Because if there’s anything we’ll allow prisoners, who we’ve captured for the crimes of literary expression, then it’s pen and paper.

Steven, Paul and several rebel fighters were hiding in the room, as a large platoon of guards stormed into the room.

“Alright you fuckers! Who was it that sent those letters?!” the guard demanded.

“Our feelings were hurt. Seriously, guys! And after all we’ve done for you, like dragging you from place to place? That’s just uncalled for.”

The rebels then ambushed the guards and mowed them down, killing them all. The prison alarm went into overdrive, as the person on the speaker warned the personnel of a coup occurring in the Mess Hall.

“Aw shit! The cavalry are going to come!” Paul called out, as Steven broke off from the group. “Where are you going mate?”

“I’m going to find Chiaki, even if I have to search this entire place on my own!” Steven called out, as he opened the door and gunned down a few more guards.

“She’s being held in the underground cell. I overheard it from one of the guards.” Paul called out.

Heck of a time to share this information, Paul.

“Thanks. And make sure you show those letters to the Ivalician Rebellion once you break out of here. They’ll be more than willing to let you all join!” Steven replied, as he ran out of the Mess Hall.

“Stay safe, comrade.” Paul wished Steven a safe trip, as he and his group of rebels continued to fight the guards. Meanwhile, in the Warden’s office, Inga was observing the coup, and was not happy about what he’s seeing.

“What is the meaning of this?!” he barked. “Why of all days, must the prisoners fight back like insignificant worms?!”

Because you purposefully called attention to the date, instead of keeping it in the unknown, which would have prevented the organization of a timely uprising. There’s really no reason to be surprised about this.

“Sir, we received reports that Steven is on his own.” A guard replied. “And he’s heading for the underground cell.”

“Is he?” Inga inquired, an intrigued look on his face. “Heh, I knew he’d go in that direction. I’ll deal with him myself.” The warden then retrieved his trusty sidearm and made is way to the underground cell.

Steven ran through the underground corridors, desperately searching for the lone cell in these dark corridors. He guns down any Project AFTER guard that he finds, viewing them as nothing but obstacles in his quest to rescue his beloved friend.

Yeah, don’t interrogate any of them for directions, keep spending all that precious, unlimited ammo you’ve scrounged together.

Eventually after a while, he hears the faint sobbing of a teenage girl. Steven immediately ran to the source of the voice and spotted a lone guard, standing by a cell. Steven fired at the guard, killing them instantly, and retrieved a key from his corpse. Steven inserted the key, and flung open the cell door, shocking Steven with it’s contents.

Because the entire prison camp up until now has been such a pleasant experience, you see.

There, sitting on the cold floor was his friend Chiaki, alongside Princess Sonia. Sonia was a very pretty girl who was fairly tall, and had long blonde hair, pale skin, and green eyes. She wore a green and white dress with a large red ribbon with a blue and silver jewel on the chest and a dark green, almost black, ribbon with diamonds in her hair. She also wore a bracelet on her left wrist, black and gray thigh high socks, and red shoes.

Too old for the sister posse. Leave her here.

Chiaki had looked up off the ground and stared at the figure who entered the room.

“Steven…?” She asked, getting up off the ground. “Is that really you?”

“Chiaki…” was all Steven can say, tears coming out of his eyes, before he ran up to her and hugged her tightly.” “CHIAKI!!” He cried out, tears flowing from his eyes.

“S-Steven! You came back for me.” Chiaki sobbed, as she returned the hug and cried into his shoulders.

“C-Chiaki! I missed you so much!” Steven sobbed back, as the two friends hugged each other for a few more minutes, before they broke it off and wiped their tears away. Steven then turned to Sonia and helped her off the ground. “I assume your Princes Sonia? It’s a pleasure to meet you, your majesty.

Not to sound like a wet blanket over here, but you’re currently in the middle of a prison riot – introductions and tearful reunions can wait.

*giggle* “Chiaki told me all about you, how the two of you are such good friends.” Sonia smiled, stifling a giggle.

“So how are things going back home?” Steven asked.

“Not good, Yasuke had successfully taken over the country, thanks to the assistance from Project AFTER.” Chiaki commented. “I never knew he was that wicked.”

“His constant, vicious complaints about refugees was just something I took for an endearing quirk.”

“Don’t worry, once we’re out of here, I’ll put a boot up his ass!” Steven promised.

“Hey, you better save some butt-kicking for me!” Sonia quipped. “I won’t let some hooligan take over my country.”

“Alright then. Let’s get out of here.” Steven suggested, as the trio left the cell and were about to make their way out, when they were interrupted by the sound of a gun cocking.

“Going somewhere?” an all too familiar voice crooned from the shadows. The trio turned around and saw Inga pointing his gun at them.

“You! I’m surprised you aren’t scurrying back to GorillaGamer like the coward you are!” Steven retorted.

GorillaGamer killed the last warden that allowed you to escape, Steven. Figure it out.

“Hahaha! Is that the best you got?” Inga smirked. “I’m here to return you three to GorillaGamer.”

“No…I don’t want to go back to that horrid man…” Chiaki cried weakly, clinging to Steven.

“Too bad missy, you’re his favourite sex slave. GorillaGamer promised me that I can keep Sonia for my own, once I returned you three to him.” Inga smirked even harder than before.

“You will keep your hands off me, you slimeball!” Sonia snapped.

“I won’t let you or GorillaGamer hurt anymore of my friends ever again!!” Steven declared.

Well, that’s an easy thing to do. Just stop making friends.

“HAHAHA! You must be a comedian in your spare time.” Inga chuckled darkly. “But look who has the gun here.”

“If you’re as tough as you say you are, then why don’t you fight me mano-on-mano!” Steven suggested.

“Grrr, if that’s what you want, then that’s what you’ll get!” Inga snapped, as he holstered his gun and chucked it to the side, as he got into stance.

Come on, now. The guy is the prison warden of a concentration camp. He shoots helpless prisoners for petty theft. He eats Nutella without putting it on bread. What possible reason could there be for him to have pride and integrity now?!

“I’ll let you know that I’m quite skilled in Savate.” Steven said, getting into stance.

“Ha! I’m a Black Belt in Krav Maga.” Inga bragged. “I can take you on any day of the week.”


Steven immediately charged at Inga and proceeded to pummel him with a barrage of punches. However Inga blocked them all and responded by delivering a swift kick to the back of Steven’s kneecap, causing the young man to wince in pain and started hopping on one leg. Inga used this opportunity to deliver a sweeping kick to Steven’s other leg, causing the young man to fall face first onto the ground.

“Ha! Is that all you got?” Inga taunted, as Steven got up off the ground.

“No…I’ve got plenty more where that came from!” Steven declared, as he got into stance and gestured Inga to come at him. The prison warden proceeded to strafe around for a bit, before attempting a knife strike directed towards Steven’s throat. Steven blocked the attack and retaliated with a rabbit punch to the side of Inga’s head, causing the older man to stagger for a bit. Steven then used this opportunity to deliver a few more punches to Inga’s stomach, before attempting to kick the man. However Inga predicted this and grabbed onto Steven’s leg, before dealing a devastating chop to his knee, causing Steven to cry out in pain and fall to the ground.

Had the girls not been completely helpless waifs, they could have picked up the gun by now, shot Inga dead, and they could all be on their way instead of letting this pointless display of testosterone continue.

“Ahhh…not bad. But not good enough.” Steven growled.

“Not good enough? You do realise that I have the advantage over you?” Inga retorted.

“Your cockiness will be your downfall, Inga.” Steven called out, as he ran towards the older man and attempted to rabbit punch him again. However Inga predicted it this time, and grabbed Steven’s arm, twisting it behind the young man’s back. A cracking noise indicated that Steven’s shoulder was dislocated, causing the young man to clutch his shoulder and scream out in pain.

“That’s enough!” Sonia demanded, not wanting to see her new friend in anymore pain. “As the princess of Novoselic, I command you—“

“Do the other arm.”

“Ha! Yasuke had already taken over Novoselic, girl!” Inga sneered. “Besides, STEVEN was the one who challenged me.”

“I appreciate your concern Sonia…” Steven replied, as he popped his shoulder back in place. “But I can take out this creep!”

“Good luck Steven…” Chiaki wished Steven the best.

Steven then proceeded to hold up his arms in a blocking gesture and strafe side-to-side, with Inga copying the young man. Both combatants were waiting for the other to attack, so they can counter it. Inga then feinted a couple of times in order to psyche out the younger man, however Steven stood strong and ignored them. However Inga had a clever trick up his sleeves; he proceeded to lower his hands and get out of his blocking stance. Steven ran up to the older man and punched him a few times in the chest. However, Inga grabbed Steven’s arm and delivered a powerful backhand to Steven’s face, breaking his nose. Steven clutched his nose in pain, leaving the rest of his body vulnerable. Inga seized this opportunity and delivered another knife strike to Steven’s throat, causing the young man to start gasping for air.

I don’t know why, but I get the feeling the author would really enjoy Steven Seagal movies.

“I’ll admit, you were one of my more persistent opponents.” Inga complimented the young man. “Too bad that you won’t last much longer.”

“We’ll…see about…that.” Steven gasped, as he got up off the ground and weakly stood his place.

“Ha! You must be a glutton for punishment.” Inga commented. “Hopefully GorillaGamer wouldn’t mind too much if I rough you up a bit.”

Steven then proceeded to charge at Inga and deliver a few more punches to the older man, however Inga sucker-punched Steven in the gut and pushed him a few feet back. Steven then ran up to Inga and attempted to sucker punch him back, however the older man poked Steven’s eyes with his fingers, causing the young man to stagger back and cry out in pain. Luckily, the young man’s eyes weren’t permanently damaged, but they were in a lot of pain. Steven began panting for air, as he ran up at Inga and performed a flying kick. An unamused Inga dodged to the side and punched Steven in the crouch, causing the young man to fall to the ground and cried out even louder before, a few tears falling from his injured eyes. Inga then walked up to Steven and stomped on the young man’s gut, causing him to start gasping.

How long is this fight scene going to drag out? I have other things to do today, you know.

“What was that flying kick nonsense?” Inga asked, crouching down to Steven’s level. “Do you know why I’m one of the strongest martial artists around?” Steven weakly shook his head, looking up at the man who had injured him this severely.

“The fancy moves and martial arts that you see in the movie? People aren’t impressed by that anymore. They want to see the effective stuff. Strikes to the knee, throat, eyes and even the crotch, that is the effective stuff. It’s not as pretty as a flying kick, but it’s much more effective.” Inga explained. “Krav Maga focuses on dealing the most damage to your enemy, by striking the aforementioned weak points, before retreating to safety.”

“Arrghh…” Steven groaned in pain, as Inga received a message on his phone.

“Excellent, I was given the order to kill you and bring Chiaki and her friend back to base camp.”

I guess GorillaGamer just changed his mind about wanting to torture Steven, and sent that incredibly well timed message just as the tension of this battle couldn’t be built higher.

Inga smirked, as he unsheathed a combat knife from his belt. “And I have just the thing right here…”

“Y-you can’t do this! Steven!” Chiaki cried out, as Inga pushed her into the wall.

“Silence!” Inga barked, as he pushed Sonia into the wall as well. “I will not let you bitches get in my way!” Steven had heard the faint sobs of Chiaki and Sonia, the pair of them scared out of their wits. Anger well up in the young man’s body, as Inga walked up to the young man.

Ah, the ever trusty heroic anger powered by women’s tears. Where would Steven be without it?

“Steven, Steven, Steven. I had heard of Lizeea’s betrayal. As a matter of fact, we now know where your base is, and once we capture it, I’ll hand over all of your precious little sisters to Kristoph. Oh boy, will I strike it rich!” Inga mocked Steven, as the young man’s body was shaking with rage. “Now it’s time for you to die…” Inga was about to plunge the knife into Steven’s heart, when the young man grabbed Inga’s wrist and resisted the older man’s movements.

“You…” Steven growled, as he sucker punched Inga in the jaw, causing the older man to stagger back. “YOU WILL NOT LAY A HAND ON MY LITTLE SISTERS!!!!” Steven then got up and dusted the dirt off his knees.

I don’t think we'll have enough hands to do it with, if Steven keeps accumulating them.

“Steven! You’re alright!” Chiaki cheered.

“You can do this, I know you can!” Sonia supported the young man.

“Thanks you two. I really mean that.” Steven smiled at them.

If you can’t overcome your obstacles without someone being there to either save your ass or cheer you on, THEN STOP GOING ON SOLO MISSIONS!!

“Grrrrr! How are you still standing?!” Inga demanded, his smirk replaced with a look of fury.

“Adrenaline. One of Mother Nature’s greatest gifts.” Steven retorted. “Your comments about my sisters gave me the boost I needed, to kick your ass once and for all.”

Curses, foiled by the most cliché of villain tropes – being a big meanie.

“Argh! No matter, I still have the upper hand.” Inga retorted, waving his knife in the air.

“Hey! Where’s your sense of honour!” Sonia called out. “Bringing a knife in a hand-to-hand fight.”

“Krav Maga prioritises the safety of the user over some silly code of honour.” Inga retorted.

Then I’m pretty sure Krav Maga would have told you to shoot Steven in the face. In fact, I’m pretty sure it’s telling you to do that right now. Listen to it!

“Now fight me!”

“As you wish…” Steven smirked. The young man then charged at Inga and dodged his punch, while delivering a few blows to his stomach. Inga responded by slashing his knife at Steven, nicking the younger man’s cheek. Steven backed off a few feet, and began strafing around the arena, before charging at Inga and delivered a powerful low kick, knocking the older man off his feet. Inga responded by kicking Steven in his kneecap, eliciting a wince from the young man.

Steven then backed off and got into a blocking stance, as Inga got up and lunged at the young man, in an attempt to stab his throat. Steven grabbed Inga’s arm and delivered a powerful chop, causing Inga to wince in pain and drop the knife, which Steven picked up.

So much for that honor thing the wenches were moaning about just a minute ago.

“Ha…looks like that rage boost did wonders for you.” Inga commented. “I saw a few pictures of that Clair lady, all bound up in rope and gagged like a simple piece of meat. Looked pretty hot, I might have some fun with her before handing her over to Kristoph.” Anger coursed through Steven’s body, as his sister was reduce to nothing but a piece of meat by this disgusting human being.

“I’LL KILL YOU!!!!” Steven roared, as he ran up to Inga and delivered a powerful kick to his gut, causing the older man to gasp for air. Steven the grabbed the back of Inga’s collar and stabbed him in the back multiple times, causing blood to pour out of Inga’s mouth, as well as the wound. Steven must have stabbed him twenty times, before Inga collapsed face first into the floor, dying a few seconds later. Steven cast aside the knife and took a photo of Inga’s body, before tucking his phone away and helping Chiaki and Sonia up.

Why does he keep photographing dead bodies, will someone fucking tell me?! And can’t the guards at Camp Peonis perform a simple cavity search?!

“You killed him…” Chiaki commented.

“I know, and I’m sorry about that, but it was either me or him.” Steven replied.

“Well I know who I’d rather have around.” Sonia smiled, taking Steven’s hand. The three of them then exited the underground corridor and eventually made their way outside the camp, where they saw Paul and the rest of the prisoners.

Did they just stick around and have a picnic, while Steven was fighting for his life?

“Glad you three can make it.” Paul replied. “Where’s the warden?”

“Dead. I killed him myself.” Steven replied.

“Good, now we can blow this accursed place up!” Paul cheered, as he pressed down on a detonator plunger, causing multiple explosions to rock the death camp. Eventually Camp Peonis was reduced to nothing more than a series of ruined, burning buildings. A warm sense of relief overcame Steven; finally, the place where so much pain and suffering had occurred, was destroyed, and it’s sick, twisted warden was burning in hell.

And I fail to see how Steven’s presence was at all integral to the breakout. He did nothing that no one else couldn’t have done. Why didn’t this happen sooner?

“Come on everyone, let’s head back to base.” Steven called out, as he, Chiaki, Sonia, Paul and the liberated prisoners headed back to base.

Rebel base

It has been over twenty days since Steven went out on his little trip. The rebels were grief-stricken, but none more so than Steven’s sisters.

“Big brother…BIG BROTHER!’ Nino wailed, as she started crying to herself.

Oh, stop crying. Steven isn’t here to be sustained by your tears.

“He-he’ll be alright. This is big brother we’re talking about!” Winda attempted to comfort Nino, but to no avail. Winda was also struggling to hide her sadness.

“I wish I can say that, but he’s been missing for three weeks now.” Luna replied, a sad look on her face.

“WAAAAAAHHHH! I can’t lose my second brother!” Clarine wailed as well.

“It’s my fault…I should have tagged along with him…” Billy sniffled, wiping away a few tear.

“This…this can’t be happening again. I can’t lose another person close to me again!” Lilina cried out.

Well, I’m close to tears as well. There’s still a sex scene to go through.

“Oh no…now what will I tell my other brothers?” Elise said sadly, as she was comforting Sakura, who was too grief-stricken to speak.

“Noooo…I can’t lose big brother. I haven’t said how much I appreciated him yet.” Aya wailed, as she was comforted by Nana.

“There, there. I’m sure he’ll be fine…” Nana replied softly, doubt lingering in her mind.

“Wi-will he be alright?” Chihaya asked.

“I’s like to say yes, but he has been gone for a while now.” Nari told her.

You are an army. Do some fucking reconnaissance!

“Oh what do we do? I can’t just stay here and do nothing while Steven could be out there, bleeding out to death.” Clair called out.

“…all we can do is pray for his safety.” Celica replied, as she sat silently in prayer. Just then they were interrupted by a rebel trooper entering the main hall.

“Draconia! You’ve got to see this!” the soldier called out. The rebels all rushed outside, and gasped at what they saw. It was a large group of armed people, hoisting the flag of the Ivalician Rebellion, and leading the charge was Steven!

Do they sell those flags by the roadside, or does Steven carry more than a camera phone up his ass?

“STEVEN’S BACK!!” The rebels cheered, as Steven weakly walked up to the rebels.

“BIG BROTHER!!” his sister’s called out, as they all ran up to him and hugged him tightly.

“Urk! Not to tightly.” Steven winced, as his little sisters backed off after the hug.

By all accounts, they should have suffocated him with their shared mass.

“I take it these are your sisters?” Chiaki inquired, as Steven’s sisters all looked at the strange girl.

“Is this that Chiaki lady that you are friends with?” Nino inquired.

“Why yes she is.” Steven replied. “And the lady next to her is Princess Sonia of Novoselic.”

I’m not familiar with Danganronpa. I don’t know what it’s about, I don’t know the characters, I’m not even sure I can pronounce the title correctly. Anyway, I just feel I should point out when a character in a story means less than nothing to me.

“It’s nice to meet you all.” Sonia smiled at them.

“Hey there!” Steven’s sisters greeted her.

“If you want, you two can go in and get something from the cafeteria.” Steven offered, as he turned to face the liberated prisoners. “In fact, why don’t you all go get something to eat? Just make sure you partake in growing the crops and taking care of the animals.”

More backbreaking labor. You sure know how to win people over, Steven.

Steven’s sisters, the prisoners, Chiaki and Sonia took him up on the offer and entered the building, with Paul staying behind to chat to Steven and the rest of the rebels.

“Boy I tell you, if it wasn’t for you, none of us would be here to see this glorious occasion.” Paul smiled.

“I’m glad I could help you, my fri—“Steven was interrupted by the sound of a gunshot. Paul looked down as his chest and saw a bullet hole near where his heart is, and groaned in pain, as he collapsed to his knees and clutched his wound. Steven turned to the source and gasped in fear. Standing by the gates of the rebel base was a manic Inga, whose body had several wounds from the explosions, as well as severe burns all over his body. His once magnificent facial hair had been burnt off, and his fancy clothes were in tatters. His right hand was trembling as it held his trusty handgun.

Oh, sure, I die from dropping from a window – but Mr. Krav Maga over here is beaten, stabbed, and blown up, and he’s still above negative hit points. That’s fair.

“STEVEN!!!!” Inga shouted as loud as he could. “YOU RUINED EVERYTHING YOU MISERABLE BASTARD!!”

“How are you still alive?! I killed you!” Steven called out, as Inga gave him a sick, twisted smirk that would haunt the young man for the rest of his life.

“Adrenaline. One of Mother Nature’s greatest gifts.” Inga smirked, as he turned to face the rebels. “So these are your little league of losers.”

“Ha! If anyone’s the loser, it’s you.” Shadow Stalker retorted.

Great comeback, Shadow Stalker. Too refined for the, “I know what you are, but what am I,” approach?

“Oh shut up you stupid elf!” Inga snapped. “If I can’t lay my hands on Clair, then I’ll make sure you won’t!” Paul then got up off the floor and pushed Steven away, taking the second bullet for him. Paul then walked towards Inga, as he fired two more rounds into Paul, who was still standing strong. A look of fear grew on Inga’s face, as he realised he was out of bullets.

Who knew that months of imprisonment and backbreaking labor made you able to soak up bullets like a terminator? We’d better put our soldiers on the same training program.

“No, this can’t be! This was not how thing were supposed to go!” Inga ranted, as Paul locked him in a bear-hug.

“I knew I wasn’t going to make it today, so I prepare a special gift for my going away party.” Paul quipped, as he activated his bomb vest. The timer started ticking down, as Inga struggled to break free from Paul’s grasp.

Attached Image

I’m not surprised that Paul is going to die. I’m surprised that, in order for Steven to remain the most capable male character of the story, Paul had to become a suicide bomber. What the fuck, Paul?!

“Paul! Don’t do this, we can save you!” Steven cried out.

“No Steven…I’ve lived a good life, as a friend of your family. I got my last wish of dying outside that accursed camp. I…haven’t been the most model human being. If I’m going to Hell, then I’m taking this bastard with me.” Paul replied, as a few tears fell down his face. “Goodbye Steven, it was an honour knowing you…”

“PAAAAUUUUUUULLLLLLL!!!!” Steven shouted at the top of his lungs, as Paul’s vest detonated, creating an explosion that blew off Paul’s legs and arms, and sent his head and torso flying to a few feet from Steven’s feet.

The intent is Saving Private Ryan, but the result is Hot Shots 2.

Inga was completely vaporised by the bomb, the only trace of him being a blood splatter on the ground.

“Paul…” Steven cried, as he cradled Paul’s lifeless body, tears falling from his face. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” Steven cried out to the heavens.

Alright then, so who’s in the mood for a sex scene? Anybody?

11:30pm Steven’s room

Steven was sitting in his bed, recalling the events that happened after the bomb blast. The rebels had mourned the death of Paul, and rewarded him for his brave sacrifice. They then cleaned up the place, removing any traces of Inga’s body they could find.

Until you can account for all his fingers and his gun, no one will be safe.

Steven was tended to by Lunar Priestess, who suggested that he take a break from the front lines for a while. He was visited by his sisters, his fellow rebels, and even the prisoners. He was about to settle off to bed, when two more people knocked on the door.

“Uh, come in.” Steven called out. The door opened, as Chiaki and Sonia entered the room before closing the door. “Eh? What are you two doing here?”

Steven, how many times has this happened to you by now? And how many more times are you going to play dumb?

“We wanted to check up on you.” Chiaki replied, as she and Sonia sat down on the bed. “Just to see how you were going.”

“I can’t believe it, just when things were looking up, that bastard Inga took Paul away from me.” Steven sighed, as both girls cuddled the young man.

I know prison can do things to a man, Steven, but I didn’t get the feeling that you an Paul were close – in any meaning of the word.

“Don’t worry about that horrid man, Inga.” Sonia reassured Steven. “He’s no longer here to give you any grief.”

“That’s true.” Steven replied. “So what do you want do now?” Both Sonia and Chiaki mulled over the question, and whispered among themselves, before reaching a conclusion.

“We can stay here, have a little fun…” Chiaki smiled. “I’ve heard of your exploits from the other rebels.”

Why don’t they just cast his dick in bronze and put it up as a display piece?

“A-a-are you sure about this?!” Steven stammered.

“It’s alright. Neither of us have a problem.” Sonia purred, gliding her hand up and down Steven’s chest.

“Well if you two are fine with it, then I’m alright with it.” Steven replied.

Lemon time everyone

Thank you, Captain Obvious.

Chiaki and Sonia moved closer to Steven and began kissing the young man. Steven alternated between the two girls, as he cuddled them and brought them closer to him. Steven rubbed the backs of his lovers, making them shiver in delight. Sonia then began to kiss Steven passionately, their tongues dancing in each other’s mouths. After a few minutes, Steven broke away from Sonia and began kissing Chiaki, just as passionately as before. A few more minutes later, Steven and Chiaki broke apart the kiss, as the latter began cuddling Sonia.

“Teehee, want to see something special?” Chiaki asked, as she and Sonia cuddled each other.

If I did, I don’t think I’d be reading this.

“Uh, sure.” Steven replied.

“Alright then, I know you’re going to enjoy this.” Sonia smiled. Chiaki and Sonia began to cuddle and kiss each other, rubbing the other one’s back. Eventually they began to strip each other down, until Chiaki was wearing nothing but her white lace bra and panties, and Sonia was in nothing but her black lace bra and panties. The two girls then looked at each other and kissed each other passionately like before, while rubbing the others back. Eventually, Sonia removed Chiaki’s bra, exposing her fairly large breasts, and began to caress the left breast, while suckling on her right nipple.

Gasp! Lesbian foreplay? How special.

“Ah…” Chiaki cried out in bliss, as her hardened nipple was getting licked. Sonia then began tweaking her left nipple, eliciting a moan from Chiaki. The princess then intensified her licking, causing Chiaki to moan louder than before, the girl lost in her own world of pleasure. After a while Sonia ceased her sucking and moved a bit away from Chiaki.

“Now it’s your turn.” Sonia smiled, as Chiaki removed the former’s bra, revealing Sonia’s perky breasts. Chiaki then began to suckle on Sonia’s left nipple, while caressing her right breast. Sonia cried out in bliss, as her hardened nipple was getting suckled by her friend. Chiaki then intensified the suckling and proceeded to tweak Sonia’s right nipple, causing her to moan loudly. Sonia’s entire body was enjoying the pleasurable experience that it was going through, but they can’t forget about their other friend.

Because the pain in the author’s wrist won’t let them.

Chiaki and Sonia broke off their make out session, and saw a large bulge in Steven’s boxers.

“Ah, let me get those off.” Steven replied, as he pulled down his boxers, exposing his throbbing member to the duo, and reaching for a condom.

“Wow! It’s quite big.” Sonia commented.

“Will it be able to fit?” Chiaki asked.

Did GorillaGamer’s?

“Only one way to find out.” Steven replied, as he ripped open the packet and placed the condom over his erect penis, before laying down on his back. “Hop on ladies.”

“Alright then, since I’m a princess, I get to go first.” Sonia smiled, as she and Chiaki lowered their panties and hopped onto Steven. Chiaki hovered over Steven’s mouth, while Sonia hovered over Steven’s crouch. The two girls then lowered themselves over Steven, with Sonia gasping over experiencing Steven’s penis entering her sweet pussy.

Sweet Pussy Counter: 24

Steven then began to lick Chiaki’s sweet spot, while he began thrusting into Sonia’s pussy. Both girls moaned loudly in bliss, as their bodies were getting racked with a wave of unimaginable pleasure.

I think that’s just a failure of your imagination.

Steven then picked up the pace with his licking and his thrusting, causing the girls to moan louder than before. After a few minutes, both girls cried out in bliss, as they came onto Steven.

“Heehee, time for us to swap.” Chiaki giggled, as the girls changed places. Sonia hovered over Steven’s mouth, while Chiaki hovered over Steven’s crouch. The two girls then lowered themselves over Steven, with Chiaki gasping over experiencing Steven’s penis entering her sweet pussy.

Sweet Pussy Counter: 25.

Half of these counts are probably from the lazy repeats like here, but I guess that just stresses the point.

Steven then began to lick Sonia’s sweet spot, while he began thrusting into Chiaki’s pussy. Both girls moaned loudly in bliss, as their bodies were getting racked with a wave of unimaginable pleasure. Steven then picked up the pace with his licking and his thrusting, causing the girls to moan louder than before. After a few minutes, both girls cried out in bliss, as they came onto Steven. Steven then came profusely into his condom, as he then discarded the used condom and the opened packet into a bin.

I’m not even half as meticulous with cleaning up candy wrappers – why is Steven such a neat-freak?

“Wow…that was as amazing as I expected.” Chiaki panted.

“Yeah, you really know how to treat a princess.” Sonia smiled.

“Thanks you two. I’m glad I could make the both of you feel good.” Steven replied, as the three proceeded to fall asleep.

Lemon has ended

Are you sure? You could have had your fingers slip across Ctrl+V again without noticing.

Project AFTER Headquarters

“GODDAMNIT!!” GorillaGamer roared, as he threw his glass at a wall, shattering it. “That idiot Inga not only cost me Camp Peonis, but my beloved Chiaki as well.”

“But sir, surely you can find another cum dumpster to satisfy you.” Yasuke replied.

“Do you know what this means?! With Sonia out of jail, she can reclaim the Novoselic throne!” GorillaGamer retorted, frightening Yasuke.

We care about that? Uhm, I mean, of course we care about that! Totally! This is horrible news!

Pssst. Guys? What’s a Novoselic?

“No! I earnt that throne fair and square!” Yasuke exclaimed. “I’m not letting that fuck Steven take it away from me!”

“Then we need to make haste towards Novoselic! I’ll have Kizami and the rest of my lieutenants stay here, while you and me head towards our base there.” GorillaGamer ordered, as the two men ran out the room towards the helicopter pad.

Long live the Soviet Union!

Again, I’m not including the list. But for all the tears cried over Paul, the guy wasn't on it. Why am I not surprised?


Tired cliché upon tired cliché. That’s pretty much this chapter in a nutshell. Everything from the labor camp prison system, to the stock villain behaviors, to the friend’s unnecessary self-sacrifice, to the little girl tears, to the uninspired sex scene – nothing had the slightest hint of originality. Except for Steven’s best friend, Paul the Suicide Bomber. Where did he even get all those explosives from?

Anyway, I’m done here. Unless I’m requested back to mock more chapters, I’ll be heading back to my own projects for now.

"So... preparing to storm into the room, you jostle your badger, kick down the door, and throw it at the thug standing inside." - Moment from my D&D campaign.

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Post #165

Shillin' Best Girl from Fire Emblem: Echoes

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From: France
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Gender: Male

post Jul 9 2017, 06:43 PM
So with StabbyKobold posting his brilliant mocks, it’s time for me to take the spotlight once again. When we last left off, Camp Peonis was destroyed, two Ace Attorney characters got killed off, and I lost my sweet little Nanami. Now it’s time for Steven to do battle against the troll goblin wearing Yasuke’s face.

Chapter 38: A bitter rivalry

Rebel base 10:30am

Steven had woken up later than usual, due to being exhausted from last night’s events. The young man got himself dressed and made his way to the cafeteria, in order to get himself breakfast. He sat down on the same table as his sisters, as well as Chiaki and Sonia, and began eating his meal. After the meal, Draconia ordered everyone to attend a meeting in the meeting room, for an important announcement.

“Alright everyone, we have some new intel to share. From what we’ve heard, Yasuke Matsuda of Project AFTER has taken over the Kingdom of Novoselic. Therefore we shall have two task forces. Steven and his sisters will assist Chiaki and Sonia in overthrowing Yasuke’s reign of tyranny. The rest of us will stay here and protect the base from enemy invasion.”

That’s an unusual way of saying “We’ll stay here like good little waifus, while Steven saves the day.”

Draconia explained. “We already created a portal to teleport you all to Novoselic. May you all stay safe.” The two groups then made their way to their respective posts, however Clair expressed her wish to talk to Steven in private.

“Is something the matter?” the young man asked, as Clair gave Steven a big hug, surprising the young man.

“I would like to thank you so much for taking care of all of us. I really mean it.” Clair replied, as she nuzzled up against Steven’s shoulder.

“Uh, no problem. I’d do anything to keep my sisters safe.” Steven replied, returning the hug and lightly kissing Clair on her forehead.

Somewhere, Clive felt shivers down his spine, as if he knew that something bad had just happened.

“You know I’ll do anything to make your life easier.” Clair smiled, holding her hands behind her back.

“I know, and I appreciate the fact that you and Celica are helping me take care of the younger girls.” Steven replied. “Now come on, we’ve got a kingdom to liberate.” The duo then made their way to the portal room, where they saw the rest of their squad.

“Hmmm, what took you two?” Celica inquired.

“Ah, we just had a talk, that’s all.” Clair replied.

“Ok everyone, you’re about to enter the Kingdom of Novoselic. Despite what Yasuke has done to the place, it’s still a gorgeous country, so please treat it with respect.” Sonia informed everyone in the room, as the portal flickered to life.

“One last thing, if you see a black and white bear walking down the street, DO NOT engage in a conversation with it.”

“Wow, I get to go halfway across the world, to defeat those Project AFTER meanies. This is so exciting!” Clarine smiled.

“We better tread carefully, since we’re metaphorically entering the lion’s den.” Lilina warned everyone.

“Indeed.” Nari added. “Therefore we can’t mess around like we’re on a holiday. Right you two?” she turned to face her classmates.

“Ok.” Nana and Chihaya replied. Once the portal was activated, the group of seventeen entered the portal, and began the battle for the liberation of Novoselic.

It’ll consist of the enemy standing around for an hour, cracking jokes about how women should stay in the kitchen. Just like every other battle in this shit fest.

Novoselic Castle: Throne room

Yasuke Matsuda; God Emperor of Novoselic. The head of the Steering Committee. Headmaster of Hope’s Peak Academy. The Super High School Level Neurologist. The Grand Administrator of Project AFTER. Founder of the Anti-Refugee Party of Novoselic. The heir to the Matsuda Medical Research Lab, and the Slayer of Ted Bundy.

What’s with all the titles? Chapter 20 stated that the authors wanted to make Yasuke some sort of Dumbledore-esque villain, so I guess that could explain all of the over exaggerated titles. But what caught me off guard is the last one, ‘The Slayer of Ted Bundy.’ Don’t the authors know that Bundy was executed? Are they implying that Yasuke works as an executioner?

The young man was sitting on his golden throne, mulling over the events of the last few years. He was furious over how Steven had ruined his carefully laid plans, to turn Ryoko Otonashi into his subservient cum dumpster.

Because murdering refugees is guaranteed to melt women’s panties.

Just then, he received a phone call from the notorious paedophile defence attorney, Kristoph Gavin.

“ConcernedGamer…” Yasuke referred to Kristoph by his Project AFTER username. “What do you want?”

Is this supposed to be some big reveal? We knew that ConcernedGamer was Kristoph Gavin back in Chapter 30, when Matt Engarde admitted it to the rebels.

“I’ve called you up to report that a mysterious light had briefly appeared in the hill near your castle.” Kristoph explained, looking out the window. “And look who it is. It’s the false monarch Sonia, that Steven kid, and his delectable sisters.”

“STEVEN!” Yasuke growled. “You will lure that kid here, and that bitch Sonia. Then I shall kill them in a painful way!”

“But what about Chiaki?” Kristoph asked.

“Capture her as well, but don’t hurt her. I need to return her to Lord Sir himself.” Yasuke replied.

Good boy…you bring me back my sweet little Nanami.

“And his little sisters?” Kristoph asked.

“I’ll let you keep them as your personal sex slaves.” Yasuke smirked, as a wicked grin grew on Kristoph’s face.

“Excellent!” Kristoph grinned maniacally. “I get to taste Nino’s loli ass again!”

For all of Kristoph’s hype surrounding Nino’s ass, it’s most likely going to taste of disappointment. Maybe he should try Lilina’s ass, it’s bound to be better tasting.

…I can’t believe I just said that.

“Err yes…whatever you say.” Yasuke replied, as he hung up the phone. Just then a guard brought in a beautiful teenage girl into the throne room with him. The girl has long, dishevelled, dark red hair and eyes and wears the school uniform of Hope's Peak Academy. Her uniform consists of an unbuttoned dark grey cardigan on top of a white blouse with a red ribbon. The cardigan has the logo of Hope's Peak Academy emblazoned on it. She wears a short dark grey skirt and white knee-highs.

Oh hai Ryoko, it’s nice to see you again.

“Matsuda…why did you bring me here?” the girl asked.

“Ryoko, I brought you here to do me a favour.” Yasuke asked the girl, as he proceeded to lower his pants. “Please kiss my balls.”

“But Matsuda, I’m not ready yet.” Ryoko protested.

“GET ON THIS COCK!!” Yasuke demanded, pointing to his throbbing 12-inch cock.

This plot point was already in Chapter 29, only that time depicted me and Chiaki instead of Yasuke and Ryoko.

Ryoko got onto her hands and knees and began to lick the meaty phallus in front of her, eliciting a moan from Yasuke. “Oh god! That feels good.”

“Teehee, I’m glad I can make Matsuda feel good.” Ryoko smiled, as she engulfed the fleshy pogo stick and began sucking loudly.

For someone whose ‘carefully laid plans, to turn Ryoko Otonashi into his subservient cum dumpster’ were ruined, she sure seems eager to suck your dick. Even though she didn’t want to in the beginning…

“Oh, my god, yes!” Yasuke howled in pleasure. “Suck it!” he grabbed Ryoko’s hair and thrusted his dick into her mouth. After a few minutes, Yasuke moaned loudly, as he came buckets into Ryoko’s mouth. She swallowed it all up, and licked her lips.

“Yummy, yummy, cummy tummy.” Ryoko smiled.

I almost died of laughter after reading that line. No joke, I was on the floor, laughing my guts out to the point of tears. Fifteen authors thought it would be a good idea to add in this line.

“Please don’t ever say that again.” Yasuke ordered her, as his guard escorted Ryoko out of the room.

Novoselic Hotel

Kristoph Gavin was whistling happily to himself, he had guaranteed the return of his loli cock-socket Nino, and had planned on luring Steven and his posse into a trap. Kristoph entered the hotel suite, and was greeted by his two co-conspirators. The first one was the Chief of Police in California, and had a penchant for swimming, teenage girls, and eating various types of sweets. This was Damon Gant, or as he’s known on Project AFTER, MasterOfNintendo.

Well Stabby, now you know which forum member got Damon Gant. Kind of odd, considering how Chapter 19 had me proclaiming Gant to be my spirit animal.

The second co-conspirator was an incredibly ruthless prosecutor, who had obtained a perfect win record, 40 years in a row. He was Manfred von Karma, or as he was known on Project AFTER, Dashguy.

And we have our final Ace Attorney character exchange. Dashguy got the role of Manfred von Karma for some odd reason. What I would like to know is why the authors chose these specific characters to represent these specific members. For example, why would they depicted Stabby as Engarde, Maniak as Inga, and Concerned as Kristoph?

The trio began discussing their plan over some champagne.

“Gentlemen, I assume you know the plan?” Kristoph asked, pouring champagne for everyone.

“Yes, we heard it five times already.” Manfred scoffed, picking up his glass.

“Didn’t we have to capture Steven, Chiaki and Sonia, and bring them to Chief Inspector Yasuke?” Gant asked.

“Correct. We get to keep Steven’s sisters for our own.” Kristoph sneered. “May I suggest we split them up evenly?”

Your idea of splitting them up evenly is taking 80% of the loli poon, and having the other two fight over the remaining 20%.

“Ehh, I’ll take a couple. But my heart still belongs to Rarity.” Manfred sighed dreamily.

And now these fucks gave me the mental image of Chapter 19 where Manfred was playing with the Rarity doll. Thanks authors…

“Oh boy! Who gets to go first?” Gant inquired.

“I do, since I’m the one who came up with the plan.” Kristoph declared. “Anyway, I’ll take Nino, Aya, Clarine, Elise, Lilina, Billy, Winda and Sakura.”

“Alright then, I’ll take Celica, Clair, Nana, Nari and Chihaya.” Gant commented, adjusting his tie, while he had a perverted smirk on his face. “We can’t forget to hand over Luna to GorillaGamer.”

“Hey, that leaves me with no one!” Manfred pointed out.

Oh lighten up, you already have the Mane 6 in your harem. Or should I say, marem.

“I wish to take Celica and Clair from Gant.”

“Hey! Those are my choices!” Gant snapped. “If you want to take someone, take them from Kristoph’s harem. He’s got far more girls than me!”

“NO! I will not hand over my lolis to Manfred!” Kristoph growled. “Just give Luna to Manfred to cheer him up.”

“But that’s GorillaGamer’s assistant.” Gant rebutted.

“Aw don’t worry about it, Lord Sir will be too busy blowing his load into Chiaki to care about Luna.” Manfred smirked.

That I won’t deny…I even forgot she was supposed to be my maid.

“I wouldn’t mind her to be honest.”

“Good! Then it’s settled. We’ll lure the rebels to the trap, hand over the punk and the two bitches to Yasuke, and obtain our loli harem!” Kristoph declared, as all three men cheered and clinked their glasses, before drinking the champagne. “Anyway, I’ve got to finish preparations, catch you all later.” Kristoph exited the room.

“I swear, that man is the greediest motherfucker I’ve ever met.” Gant scoffed.

He seems more like a sisterfister to me, but whatever.

“Yeah, he wouldn’t give me any of his waifus. I would have taken any of them.” Manfred replied, as the two men continued talking to each other, unaware that Kristoph was listening to them.

“Hehehe, I spiked their glasses, so that I’ll be able to complete the mission on my own, and claim all the girls for myself.” Kristoph chuckled ominously, as he walked down the hallway.

And there goes your backup in case anything goes wrong.

You nimrod.

Entrance to Novoselic capital.

The group of rebels had entered the large city, and were in awe at what they saw. There were large buildings shooting out of the ground and into the sky, but it was ruined by the presence of the Project AFTER army.

“Here it is everyone. Novoselic, tainted by AFTER’s wicked grasp.” Chiaki told them, a sad tone in her voice.

“My home, it’s ruined.” Sonia cried out. “And look at what they’re doing to the innocent refugees.” The group spotted some Project AFTER troopers massacring some refugees.

“We must stop Yasuke! Come on everyone!” Steven called out, as the rebels all snuck past the guards, and reached the gates of the castle.

But what about those refugees getting massacred? Are you going to leave them to die?

“Here’s the plan, I will go with Sonia and Chiaki to confront Yasuke, while the rest of you stay on guard and let us know if some AFTER troopers come, alright?” Steven told the group.

“Alright, you can count on us!” Nino declared.

“Excellent! Then let us go forth!” Steven declared, as the two parties went their separate ways. However they were spotted by Kristoph Gavin himself.

“Heheheh, soon I’ll claim all those little girls for myself.” Kristoph sneered, as he followed Nino’s group.

Steven, Chiaki and Sonia were running through the castle, searching for Yasuke and the throne room. They drew their swords and slew any AFTER guards they found with prejudice. After five minutes of running, they stumbled upon a room with the door open slightly ajar.

“Stay here. It could be a trap.” Steven informed the two girls, as he crept up into the door, opened it, and gasped at what he saw. Lying on a bed was a bound and gagged Ryoko, wearing nothing but her bra and panties.

This is going places I didn’t expect…

Place your bets everyone! Is Ryoko going to be another sister for Steven, or another waifu?

She noticed Steven and gave him a look which could be read as ‘please let me free.’ Steven immediately ran up to her and untied her, before removing her gag.

“Thanks Steven!” Ryoko smiled, as she hugged the young man, causing him to blush profusely.

“Uhh, you’re welcome…” Steven replied. “Now how about we get you dressed?” A few minutes later, Ryoko had gotten dressed and joined Steven in leaving the room.

“Ryoko? What are you doing here?” Chiaki asked.

“Matsuda tied me up. He proceeded to do things to me; things that I didn’t like…” Ryoko replied in a sad tone of voice.

“I’ll make that bastard pay!” Steven growled, tightening the grip on his sword handle.

You say that as if you were pimping Ryoko.

“Easy there Steven, you can’t let anger cloud your judgement.” Sonia reminded him.

“…you’re right.” Steven replied, as the group of four made their way to the throne room. When they got there, they were confronted be an angry Yasuke.

“STEVEN PEGASUS!!” Yasuke roared. “You finally came here; and you took my whore of a girlfriend away from me!”

“H-hey, I’m not a whore!” Ryoko rebutted.

“Shut your fucking ugly mouth, slut! You have fucking betrayed me for that wimpy shit Steven.” Yasuke snarled. “What’s next, are you going to whore yourself out to the fucking refugees?!”

You mean the same refugees who are getting slaughtered as we speak?

“Bu-bu-bu…” Ryoko stammered, before she started bawling. Sonia and Chiaki comforted her, while Steven glared at Yasuke.

“How could you say those things to someone who loves you?!” he growled.

“Bah! I never cared for her. I only used her as a cum dumpster, because that’s all she’s good for.” Yasuke retorted, crossing his arms.

“You…WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT!!!!” Steven roared, as he gained a rage boost. “I’M GOING TO FUCKING TEAR YOU TO PIECES!!!!”

I’ll kill you to death!

“Pfft, whatever. I’m down for a fight…” Yasuke muttered, as he got up off his throne and walked over to Steven.

“I’ll let you know that I’m very good in Savate.” Steven warned Yasuke.

“Bah, I’m a black belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.” Yasuke scoffed. “Now come at me!”


Steven ran at Yasuke and delivered triple jump kick to Yasuke, all three of his kicks connecting with Yasuke's chest while in midair, causing the man to groan in pain. Yasuke retaliated by throwing Steven into the ground and began pummelling him with kicks and punches. Steven responded by kicking Yasuke in the balls before getting up and striking the evil man with a powerful tornado kick. Yasuke then started charging at the young man and launched a barrage of powerful punches, before he helicoptered Steven onto the ground.

What the fuck is this shit? It’s a compilation of shitty fight scenes from other terrible fanfics.

“Argh! You’re good…” Steven replied, as he spat out some blood.

“Ha! I will punish you for ruining my reputation!” Yasuke growled.

“Hey, you were the one who ruined your reputation.” Steven retorted, angering Yasuke.

“HOW DARE YOU!” Yasuke snarled. “How did I ruin my reputation?!”

“Well let’s see here, you physically and emotionally abused Ryoko, you bullied and harassed students of colour, you nearly beat up Makoto Naegi to death because he was a Super High School Level Luckster. You harassed the students that lacked a talent, causing Hajime Hinata to suffer severe depression that nearly took his life. And let’s not mention that you created a group dedicated to attacking innocent refugees. You are an overall scumbag.” Steven explained.

Never mind the fact that this is getting dumped on us in the middle of a fight, it sounds like the authors really want us to hate Yasuke.

“What I did was the right thing. The fucking refugees deserve all of the attacks, because they are rapist paedophiles. The Luckster’s and the talentless students deserve to be ostracised and treated as mere sacks of cash, due to the high tuition fees. And Ryoko is my girlfriend; I can do whatever I damn want with her!” Yasuke retorted.

This angered Steven, as he charged at Yasuke and delivered a powerful jump kick, causing Yasuke to fly back a few feet. Yasuke responded by charging at Steven and assaulting him with a bicycle kick, breaking Steven’s nose. Steven responded by spinning around and using a spinning back kick on Yasuke, winding the teenage man.

Yasuke responded by charging at Steven, jumping in the air, and slamming into Steven using his stomach. Steven responded by throwing Yasuke on the ground and kicked him for five minutes. Yasuke then grabbed Steven’s leg and tripped the young man, before Yasuke got up and began stomping on Steven’s stomach for five minutes. Steven then dragged Yasuke down with him and began smacking the back of his head, while Yasuke was punching Steven’s stomach. Eventually the two men got up and charged at each other, assaulting each other with punches and kicks. Eventually Steven got the upper hand and socked Yasuke in the gut, knocking the wind out of him. Steven then punched Yasuke in the nose, causing buckets of blood to spray everywhere. Finally, Steven summoned all of his energy and grabbed Yasuke’s hair, pulling at it until he ripped Yasuke’s head clean off.

Steven wins!


“Nooooo…now who will kill the refugees?” Yasuke’s head asked.

“How about no-one?” Steven retorted, as he kicked Yasuke’s head into a wall, causing the head to explode into a million bloody pieces. Ryoko then ran up to Steven and hugged him tightly.

“Oh Steven! You’re amazing!” Ryoko complimented the young man, a blush on her face.

Authors…you are aware that Ryoko is infatuated with Yasuke, don’t you?

“Eheheheheh, it was nothing…” Steven replied, a blush on his face.

“It’s finally over, my homeland is free from that tyrannical man.” Sonia commented, crying a single tear of happiness. “Come on Chiaki, let’s help rebuild this country together.”

“Alright!” Chiaki replied, a smile on her face.

“I have to go and return with my little sisters.” Steven informed the duo.

“I need to make sure my dol-little sisters are alright.”

“I’ll see you some other time.”

“See you.” Chiaki and Sonia farewelled Steven. “Thank you so much for all that you have done.”
Steven turned and began to walk back to the front entrance. However, Ryoko had caught up to him.

“Hey Steven, you mind if I tag along with you?” she requested.

“Of course Ryoko. I’ll introduce you to my sisters.” Steven replied, as the duo made their way to the front entrance of the castle. However, Steven’s sisters were gone, and a note was in their place.

To Steven

I have your precious little sisters. I am going to have so much fun with them, just like I did with Vera and the de Famme twins. Oh how I enjoyed fucking your friends ruthlessly. Don’t worry, I shall be gentle when I penetrate your sister’s sweet pussies.

Signed Kristoph Gavan AKA ConcernedGamer

Sweet Pussy Counter: 26

Ah…it seems like I’ve made a mistake. ConcernedGamer isn’t Kristoph Gavin; he’s the dollar-store version, Kristoph Gavan.

Steven began shaking in fear; all of his beloved sisters were kidnapped by that maniac Kristoph. Luckily, Kristoph was kind enough to put down the location for where he’s keeping Steven’s sisters, however it was in California.

“Come on Ryoko, we’re taking a trip to California!” Steven called out, as he ran out of the castle.

“Eh? What’s going on?” Ryoko asked, as she followed Steven.

And with this chapter over, it’s time for me to fade into the darkness again. I shall be back to mock Chapter 43. Though in the meantime, you can enjoy ConcernedGamer’s mock of Chapter 39

Sweet Pussy Counter: 26

List of mocks can be found here: Here

QUOTE (AnItalianGuy @ May 27 2016, 02:03 AM) *
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
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Post #166

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post Jul 10 2017, 04:48 AM
The second co-conspirator was an incredibly ruthless prosecutor, who had obtained a perfect win record, 40 years in a row. He was Manfred von Karma, or as he was known on Project AFTER, Dashguy.

And we have our final Ace Attorney character exchange. Dashguy got the role of Manfred von Karma for some odd reason. What I would like to know is why the authors chose these specific characters to represent these specific members. For example, why would they depicted Stabby as Engarde, Maniak as Inga, and Concerned as Kristoph?

This crap may have worked if it was reversed, i.e. Manfred von Karma was actually Dashguy in disguise. That way you could pin whatever bad shit the guy did in the games on me. Instead, it comes off as exonerating me by revealing it was actually this Karma dude all the time. It doesn't help that the author stops referring to us by our usernames here and opts for use the names of the Ace Attorney characters.

“Hey, that leaves me with no one!” Manfred pointed out.

Oh lighten up, you already have the Mane 6 in your harem. Or should I say, marem.

To think I actually chuckled at that pun. What happened to the ponies anyway? You would think their rescue would play an important part of the plot, but instead it seems it was just another point in my list of evulz deeds.

Steven ran at Yasuke and delivered triple jump kick to Yasuke, all three of his kicks connecting with Yasuke's chest while in midair, causing the man to groan in pain.

It's me or Steven always begins his fights with that "triple flying kick" bullshit?
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Post #167

I'm very concerned.

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post Jul 12 2017, 02:41 AM
And I’m back, in more ways than one apparently, seeing as I’ve gotten a name change to a Phoenix Wright character, and I’m about to be confronted by Steven after kidnapping all his little sisters and having so graciously told him to find me in California. How the hell I kidnapped enough battle capable people to make a rugby team off screen and shipped them there is anyone’s guess, of course. Here’s Chapter 39, a paedophile’s punishment.

California: ???

Nino had groggily woken up from the sudden nap she took and was staring at what appeared to be an empty classroom.

Right, as my first devious action, I’ll force my mandatory waifu to write a hundred times on the blackboard “Steven should not be collecting little girls”. You know, I did once have a passion for becoming a teacher. I wonder if this author picked up on that or if this is just a coincidence.

She surveyed the room and found that it was incredibly dark, with the only source of light being small rays of sunshine coming in from cracks in the closed off curtains. She attempted to get down, but realised that she was being hung from the ceiling, via a rope that was tied around her wrists and was over her head.

Well, how else do you want uneducated kids to pay attention and stay in school nowadays, what with their fancy magical powers and politically confused big brothers?

Nino then turned to her left and saw her other sisters hanging beside her, in the exact same fashion. But the most disturbing part was that she and all her sisters were wearing nothing but their bra and panties.

I’m fairly certain that’s just the standard school dress code in California. I’ve been there, heat strokes are no laughing matter.

“Wh-what’s going on? Where are we? Where’s big brother?!” Nino cried out.

“Hehehe, you’re brother isn’t here to save you…” a voice chuckled from the dark shadow on the other side of the room. A man walked out from the shadow, revealing himself to be Kristoph Gavin.

And in the spirit of how Dashguy formulated the issue of this character-shift shenanigans; what’s even the point? Congratulations, authors, your self-insert is now fighting some fictional baddies from a video game you like, who somehow were the elite members of Project AFTER all along. You’ve now entirely separated your slander-fic from reality, all things considered.

“Oh no! You’re that meanie who hurt me back then!” Nino gasped.

As your rapist, I advise you to finally get some therapy so you can take our relationship seriously, Nino.

“Oh did I? My apologies. I never wanted to hurt you, I only wanted to have some fun with you.” Kristoph smirked, adjusting his glasses.

It was probably just an honest game of Twister, and she had to go and make it awkward.

“Get us down from here, this instant!” Nari demanded, as Kristoph gazed at her.

“Ahhh…you must be Nari.” He sneered, walking up to her, and petting her cheek. “You’ve got such a wonderful body for a girl your age. Your breasts in particular, are amazing.”

”I felt like I had to mention it, since the lazy author in Chapter 33 simply told the readers to Google you for descriptions.”

“H-Hey! Leave my friend alone!” Nana snapped.

“Oh shut up you! You’ll get your turn.” Kristoph glared at her.

All fourteen of you. I swear, you’re lucky the author gave each of you a minimum of one line to speak in this chapter.

“As a Noblewoman of Valentia, I demand that you let us all down, and turn yourself in!” Clair ordered Kristoph, whom laughed loudly at her demands.

“HAHAHA! And why should I? I’m the one in the seat of power right now, and I’m not handing it over to any of you!” Kristoph retorted, as he circled around Clair, eyeing her up like a hawk would eye up a baby rabbit.

Why do I get the feeling that this author still has trouble grasping the point of the term ‘sexual predator’?

“I must say, I can see why Gant and Inga are crazy for you; you have a magnificent body.”

“You should be ashamed of yourself; eyeing us up like pieces of meat!” Celica scolded the madman.

My pseudo slander-self strung you up like jerky in lingerie, so you should count yourselves lucky he can even tell you apart, because I sure as heck can’t.

“Yeah, you’re a sick man who gets off on victimising little girls!” Elise added.

“And you murdered my big brother’s friends as well!” Billy reminded Kristoph. “Engarde told me about what you did to Vera.”

Yeah, yeah, keep listing off my crimes in not at all stilted, rehearsed and chronological fashion, to remind whatever poor sap not reading this for laughs and giggles of who the hell I’m even supposed to be in this fiasco, so the pretend catharsis can manage a whimpering crescendo once Steven kills me via his second-wind power-tantrum.

“Vera? I assume you mean Vera Misham?” Kristoph inquired, with Billy nodding in response. “Oh how I enjoyed my time with her. Every night I would give her a taste of my trouser snake, in all her holes. Then I would finish off by blowing my piping hot jizz all over her pretty face, and force her to eat it.” He cackled evilly.

Rape, rape, rape, etc. Look, not to sound depraved here, but these authors are making me yawn with how unimaginative they are at how someone evil would get their sexual kicks. They’ve made my character turn a money shot into a daily chore, for crying out loud.

“You monster!” Luna growled at Kristoph.

“HAHAHA! It gets better. Poor little Vera got so traumatised over our cuddle sessions, that she killed herself.” Kristoph grinned evilly.

Either that or she probably got something sticky down the wrong pipe. Ask the authors, I’m sure their ‘mentioned via death’ characters were truly fleshed out before being tagged onto Steven’s angst list.

“When her father found out about her death, the sap cried for over an hour. And a week later, he ended up offing himself!”

Wow, this is not only terrible, it’s ten steps down from the actual canon events of poisoning father and daughter through stamps and nail polish to cover up forged evidence for a career move. That’s diabolical scheming, and this here is just happenstance. You can’t even do your villain stand-ins right, authors.

“Ummm…what about that deal with that Retinz guy?” Aya asked.

“Oh, I assume you’re referring about Bonny and Betty de Famme?” Kristoph inquired again, with Aya nodding. “Oh yes, those two were amazing. It was such a shame I got them pregnant; I had to kill them in their sleep.” Kristoph cackled maniacally.

Well, of course I had to do that, since I had only served 2 years of my prison sentence when those two got their game debut in 2028 - if you like these games so much, authors, why do you do it this much of a confusing disservice?

“That’s horrible!” Sakura gasped.

“Ohohohohoho! That’s rich!” Kristoph chortled. “Now be good little girls while I prepare myself, to fill you all up with my hot cock broth!”

Well, that’s a blast from the distant and recent past. Evidently the author writing this part has read my mocks and knows I find the term ‘cock broth’ laughably asinine. But by presenting my caricature as a vile fiend spewing disgusting words that are not at all to be sympathized with, isn’t this proving the point of my pet peeve for me?

California Airport

“Thank goodness! We’ve arrived at California!” Steven sighed in relief, as he and Ryoko exited the Californian Airport.

Okay, I need a moment to figure this out and triangulate something. They teleported to Novoselic, a kingdom in Europe, saying it was halfway across the world. Now they just took a modest twelve hour plane ride to California instead of going back to get a portal. Is 'Ivalice' just a codename for North Korea?

“Steven, can we go sightseeing?” Ryoko asked.

“Alright, but we’ve got to find Kristoph first! That motherfucker has kidnapped my sisters!”

This ham-fisted delivery completely convinced me you had to remind her of that for the entire plane trip, and not at all because she doesn’t give two shits.

Steven replied, as the duo found the keys to Steven’s bright red Pegassi Infernus.

“Wow! That’s a really nice car!” Ryoko complimented.

“Thanks, I managed to amass a collection of luxurious cars, using the money I won in Yu-Gi-Oh tournaments. Of course I wasn’t as good as my dad, but I digress.”

But his dad isn’t here to show off his Ferrari, of course. Self-insert wish-fulfilments are only delivered to the poor, struggling rebel leader, when he’s not in the kingdom he’s trying so desperately to save by showing up at rape scenarios and fucking the damsels.

Steven thanked her, as the duo hopped into the car and drove off at very quick speeds, unaware that Manfred and Gant had seen them.

“Damn! Talk about some wheels!” Gant ogled the super car. “I wish I had one.”

“I’m more concerned about what Steven said, about Kristoph taking all his little sisters. Wasn’t it meant to be a team effort?” Manfred asked.

No, man, I’m flying solo, hauling a school bus of girls from Europe to California all without your help or getting caught by customs. You know how the fallen Trump administration caused airport security to drop to an all-time low.

“Well yeah, but the both of us felt woozy after drinking the champagne. We must have gotten drunk without realising it.” Gant suggested.

“True…” Manfred replied. “Anyway, do you think we should warn Kristoph?”

“Fuck him! I need to continue my job as Chief of Police so I can score myself a car like what Steven has.” Gant replied.

Corrupt or not, you’ll have to scrounge up a lot of money, seeing as it’s a fictional car solely existing in GTA5, and I’m not sure the authors know this.

“Hehehe, I’m glad that I managed to secure the role of Chief Prosecutor. The pay check is incredible.” Manfred grinned.

Well, shit, what the hell are we doing trying to rule over some backwater bunghole country filled with fanfic authors and semen hungry Demon Lords? Real jobs sounds awesome!

“Here’s a deal for you. Each of us will buy a sports car with the money we have. Then we race it around the city, with the winner receiving the loser’s car.” Gant proposed.

“I like that idea.” Manfred replied. “We’ll let Kristoph deal with Steven.”

”Who cares about all that pussy we were fighting over last chapter, this author writes us as pointless speed junkies now to focus on the guy he has a grudge with.”

“Good…” I’ll meet you here in an hour.” Gant said, as the two men got up and went into separate directions. Meanwhile, Steven was speeding down the highway, with the GPS on to notify him of the destination.

I didn’t know you could tell a GPS to take you to California: ???

“Wow Steven! Your car is really fast!” Ryoko commented.

“I know. I need it to be if I have a chance of saving my sisters from that freak Kristoph.” Steven replied, as he continued on driving.

Curses, my plan of telling Steven exactly where I am to have him confront me, is foiled by his penchant for driving sorta fast on the highway.


The room had gotten eerily quiet again, now that Kristoph had exited the room. Nino had tried her hardest to break free, but to no avail.

“Nggggh, it’s no use. I can’t break the ropes.” Nino called out. “Now what do we do?”

Wait for Steven to rescue you, as I’ve evidently forgotten what I wanted to do with you all. Shouldn’t be anything new to all of you.

“Can’t you use your fireball or something?” Chihaya asked.

“Unfortunately no. We need to perform the necessary hand gestures to use our magic. And we’re all tied up.” Lilina replied.

“Well maybe if we swung around on our rope, then it’ll eventually snap and the person can help untie us.” Winda suggested.

I’ll believe it possible, since you’re a fucking Yu-Gi-Oh! card Priestess of Gusto. I thought you were supposed to have a familiar, too. Where is Gulldo?

“That’s got to be one of the most absurd plans I’ve heard. These ropes aren’t exactly flimsy.” Nari commented.

“Maybe if one of us attempts to until their rope, then they can free everyone else.” Clarine suggested.

But then what will the self-insert do, once he arrives to reendow you all with autonomy?

“That seems highly unlikely. These ropes had tied our hands rather tightly.” Celica replied. Just then, the girls heard the door open and saw Kristoph enter the room, with a knife in his hand.

“Oh gods, no!” Luna gasped in fear, her eyes locked onto the sharp knife.

“Hehehe, like what you see?” Kristoph jeered. “Then I’m sure you’ll like this!” Kristoph lowered his pants, exposing his 14-inch throbbing cock.

Guys, I’m getting rather creeped out here. Either the author turned this chapter into the most flattering tsundere love letter to yours truly, or I’m somehow being forced into a dick measuring contest with the odds intentionally rigged in my favor. Possibly both.

“Ewwwww…” Nana squealed in disgust. “That thing is hideous.”

I know that might be what the ladies keep telling you, author, but could you at least describe the organ instead of making Nana just come across as a prude?

“Ha! You say that now, but wait until I stick it inside of you.” Kristoph grinned, rubbing his eager member. He then walked up behind Nino and cuddled her, gently licking her neck.

Can you believe the lengths I go to in order just to fuck someone in the ear? Giving them a free vacation to California is just the tip of the iceberg.

“Please don’t do this…” Nino whimpered, as a tear fell from her left eye. Kristoph then licked the tear off her cheek and relished the taste.

“Mmmmm, how delicious.” He grinned, as he let go of Nino and walked up to Billy, before he proceeded to crotch down and lick her stomach.

If Steven won’t tongue bathe this litter, who will do it but that creepy guy whom in a previous chapter was just some loser jerking off on a couch?

“Uwaaaaahhhhh! Please stop this!” Billy cried, as a golden stream of liquid pooled from between her legs, as Kristoph lowered his head and guzzled the warm liquid.

“Ah yes, I always had a fetish for water sports.” He cackled maniacally.

Boy, I’ll cackle at anything, won’t I? Someone could comment on my nice tie, and I’d guffaw at how I got it at a goodwill store.

“Go burn in hell, you depraved freak!” Clair growled at Kristoph, who had gotten up and began glaring at her.

“I beg your pardon?!” he narrowed his eyes at her.

I’m obviously an evil, baby-eating atheist, little lady, Hell are for the believers. Unless, of course, these authors have somehow made Hell a part of this multi-bullshit universe, too.

“You will untie all of us this instant! Need I remind you that I have a second brother, one who wouldn’t hesitate to use you as target practise once he hears about your sick deeds. That is, if Steven doesn’t kill you, and I’m confident that he will after what you’ve done. Not only did you take three friends of him away, to fulfil your sick fantasies, you had repeatedly assaulted Nino, kidnapped us, and assaulted us some more. You sir, are living pond scum!” Clair coolly retorted, as Kristoph stormed up to her and slapped her across the face.

Thank you. I swear, as if the last scene of these girls wasn’t enough of an insufferable exposition session, now telling us all this again like it means something is an insult and waste of time to anyone reading it.

“Shut your fucking mouth, you little cunt!” Kristoph snarled at her, his usually cool demeanour replaced by the demeanour of an angry maniac.

Swinging around a raging boner, wielding a knife, licking girls, and lapping up urine, why that’s totally standard cool demeanor.

“How dare you hurl such noxious filth at me! In fact, I’m going to fill you up with my hot cock broth first as punishment. Besides, it saves the best for last.” Kristoph’s frown turned into a twisted smirk, as he temporarily gazed at Nino, before redirecting his attention to Clair.

As if it wasn’t enough this stalker author tracked me down, snuck into my bedroom, got me hard, and measured my junk without me noticing, he also knows for a fact that I can lay more than a dozen girls all at once. I swear, I’ll never live down this unveiling of such discrediting details about my private life.

However, just as he was about to rip off her panties using his knife, Steven stormed into the room and clocked Kristoph in the jaw, sending him flying.

With his GPS advising him to turn right at the fifth pair of frilly panties, no doubt.

“Big brother!” his sisters cheered, as Steven picked up the knife.

“Ryoko, mind if you help free my sisters? I’ve got a personal score to settle…” Steven asked her, handing the knife to Ryoko.

“You can count on me!” She smiled, as she proceeded to untie Steven’s sisters.

And now with their magical powers freely at their disposal, my victims are given the chance to take back the feeling of power I robbed from them, by standing passively on the side-lines while the self-insert gets his fourth or so revenge session. Seen it.

“Stop that!” Kristoph demanded, as he got up and glared at the newcomers.

“You know this slime ball?” Ryoko asked.

“Unfortunately, yes.” Aya replied, as Steven glared daggers of pure hate at Kristoph.

“So you were going to rape my sisters? You sick, disgusting bastard!” Steven growled at Kristoph.

I’m only willing to answer ‘yes’ for the sole reason, that I’m not convinced you know what rhetoric is.

“Heheheh, and what’s wrong with that?” Kristoph sneered.

“They’re under the age of consent, you sick paedophile!” Steven snapped. “And even if they’re old enough, it’s obvious to me that none of them wanted this.”

“You’re right about the lack of consent.” Kristoph admitted.

Was the trip to California just to make sure the age of consent wouldn’t fit, or what? Had I stayed in Europe’s Novoselic, the law could probably have been as low as 15.

“I wish they were as willing as your friends were.”

I’m getting confused here, did I not rape the friends, or am I being facetious for the sake of giving Steven rage super powers?

“MY FRIENDS ARE DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU!” Steven yelled at the evil man, who only smirked at the young man.

Oh, yes, we do so need to be reminded a fourth time about the things I did to characters I don’t even know. What shitty cartoons are these SovietSuckers watching to make them this bad at writing a narrative?

“Ah yes, I recalled their tales to your sisters. Both stories were their own element of pitiful.” Kristoph grinned. “The twins were scared out of their mind, but it was admittedly cute to see Betty attempting to cheer up Bonny. Of course, they ended up getting pregnant, so I had to kill them. Vera on the other hand, she kept on crying, and crying, hoping that you would save her Steven, since she had some feelings for you. Of course, I told her that he was getting executed that day, causing her to lose all hope. She ended up killing herself; and the best part was that her father ended up joining her. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Kristoph chuckled maniacally.

And the punchline is…The Aristocrats!! Can we move this repetitively boring thing along already? I am literally welcoming my death right now.

“You…” Steven began, as he received a massive rage boost.

Oh no, the rage boost, that play pretend super power most kids stop imagining when they get past the age of nine. You were supposed to be an ordinary human with some impressive sword-fighting skills in all your rebel combat roles, Steven. This author shift has turned you into a Shonen anime character.


Is this a meta taunt to the real Project AFTER, since you just so vapidly told me that I’ll have regrets once you’ve killed me?

“Oh wow! How pathetic, the little brat gained a rage boost from my comments.” Kristoph jeered.

Wow, author, not only are you my most infatuated stalker, you also have to be a fan to emulate my wit so well. Or is it even that obvious to yourself how pathetic this fanfic is?

“Unfortunately for you, I’m an expert in Tae Kwon Do.”

How about the fact that I’m below average with an AK-47 instead? When did this turn into a ‘melee only’ universe?

“I don’t care what martial art you’re skilled in, I will kick your ass!” Steven declared.

I must have looked it up on Wikipedia to justify my boast, since the author can’t stop piling on benchmark martial arts for Steven to somehow win against and still not listing the belt ranks.


Steven ran at Kristoph and delivered triple jump kick to Kristoph, all three of his kicks connecting with Kristoph’s chest while in midair, causing the man to groan in pain.

Oh, for fuck sake, like the lead-in, all the fight choreography in this scene is a lazy copy-paste job with dialogue changes, right down to the bicycle kick and five minute ineffectual curb stomps. Are these authors aware that every instance of this fanfic unintentionally justifies what we do here on Project AFTER?

Kristoph retaliated by throwing Steven into the ground and began pummelling him with kicks and punches. Steven responded by kicking Kristoph in the balls before getting up and striking the evil man with a powerful tornado kick. Kristoph then started charging at the young man and launched a barrage of powerful punches, before he helicoptered Steven onto the ground.

And you can find all of these Street Fighter moves listed on its Wiki page for the various versions of the Tatsumaki.

“This is too easy!” Kristoph jeered. “It’s like stealing candy from a baby.”

“I’m sure you would know about stealing stuff from a baby.” Steven retorted.

I’m sure my Saturday Morning cartoon taunt has some way to reach into Steven’s nourishing anger well, via seven degrees of separation.

“Funnily enough, that bitch Clair talked about you so much. It’s like she gets her panties wet over you.” Kristoph mused.

This angered Steven, as he charged at Kristoph and delivered a powerful jump kick, causing Kristoph to fly back a few feet. Kristoph responded by charging at Steven and assaulting him with a bicycle kick, breaking Steven’s nose. Steven responded by spinning around and using a spinning back kick on Kristoph, winding the teenage man.

Apparently Kristoph's ripe old age of 32 is now the new teen years according to this copy-paste botch job. And when the hell did Steven’s nose even recover from the last chapter? That thing must have stung all the way during the cross-continental flight.

Kristoph responded by charging at Steven, jumping in the air, and slamming into Steven using his stomach. Steven responded by throwing Kristoph on the ground and kicked him for five minutes. Kristoph then grabbed Steven’s leg and tripped the young man, before Kristoph got up and began stomping on Steven’s stomach for five minutes.

Are we wearing clown shoes for this, or are we meant to be impressed at these pointless super human endurance tests? I’d get blisters doing this monotonous shit.

Steven then dragged Kristoph down with him and began smacking the back of his head, while Kristoph was punching Steven’s stomach. Eventually the two men got up and charged at each other, assaulting each other with punches and kicks.

Attached Image

Eventually Steven got the upper hand and socked Kristoph in the gut, knocking the wind out of him. Steven then punched Kristoph in the nose, causing buckets of blood to spray everywhere.

“Argh! It’s time for me to take a different plan of approach…” Kristoph snarled, as he unsheathed a second knife from his belt.

Wait, hold on, now you ruined it for me, author. I thought I was still pantsless from the interrupted rape scene, letting this fight play out with my dick swinging in front of Steven’s naked eyes, so as to enhance the underlying lust you seem to have for me.

“What happened to hand-to-hand combat, you fuck?!” Steven asked.

Being this naïve should net you a support group, Steven.

“I got bored…I wanted to change things up.” Kristoph retorted, as Ryoko ran up to Steven.

“I freed your sisters.” Ryoko chimed. “I’ll give you this to help you out.”

“Thanks. Ryoko, I need you all to stand back, as this could get messy.” Steven retorted.

Here’s your cookie, Ryoko, now you and the mute and blind sisters can keep standing back to let the author have his testosterone jerkoff session.

Kristoph then snarled and charged at Steven, raising his knife in the air and moving it down, only for Steven to block it. Steven then retaliated by swinging his knife at Kristoph, nicking his cheek.

“You fuck! I’m gonna gut you like a fucking pig!” Kristoph growled, as he charged at Steven and attempted to stab him. The two combatants spent the next five minutes attempting to stab the other, when Steven got the upper hand, disarmed Kristoph, and stabbed both knives in his gut.

Wow, how impressive, truly a display of the author’s skill and investment into this scene that he had to write himself.

“Grooooaaaahhhhh…” Kristoph groaned, as he moved back a few feet in pain. “I…have one last trick up my sleeve.” He said as he retrieved a grenade from his pocket.

“A grenade?!” Luna called out.

“Yes, an autism grenade to be precise.” Kristoph explained. “Project AFTER had finally weaponised autism, and placed it into this lone grenade. And I shall kill you all with it.”

Yeah, this autism grenade stuff is apparently something the authors have tied to me with a passion, like my death in ‘Fantasy War Tactics: Wrath of the Project’ for no reason other than thinking it an apt insult, apparently. Aside from the fact that I don’t even know what I’m supposed to expect from the term, and pity the authors who might not even know what autism is, I guess I’ll stick to getting mine off of Amazon.

“Not on my watch!” Steven declared, just as Kristoph pulled the pin. Steven tackled him and instructed Ryoko to take his sisters out of the room, which she did.

“Argh…you know you’re going down with me…” Kristoph sneered.

“Not today!” Steven declared, as he jammed the grenade down Kristoph’s throat and ran out the room, as the grenade exploded. When Steven checked up on Kristoph, his body parts were strewn all across the room.

Truly, this could only have happened via an autism grenade. There was no other possible result than using my own weapon against me, hoisted by my own petard or whatever. Not only was it not even an AFTER-Arms, this internal decay in the author group has truly turned this into Hot Shots II, like StabbyKobold mentioned.

“It’s over…I got him.” Steven whispered, as he exited the room, only to get dogpiled by his sisters.

“Big Brother!” they all cried out, hugging Steven.

If he gets any more sisters after this, herd mentality is going to kick in and have them devour him out of affection.

“I’m so glad that I rescued from that monster when I did. If I had gotten here any later…” Steven replied, shivering at the thought.

And to think, my plan was not only hoping that Steven wouldn’t catch a flight in time, not drive a fast car, not call the local police to the address I gave him, have him not wander in with any back up, have no ambush that I so meticulously planned for him, and bring nothing but a grenade and two knives to defend myself with, I also counted on two compatriots without ever musing about their absence.

“You’re a most wonderful person Steven.” Ryoko smiled at him.

“No need to compliment me, I was just doing the right thing.” Steven replied.

“I don’t mean to be rude, but mind if you give us some private time? As you can see, we’re a bit undressed.” Nari requested, as Steven’s sisters attempted to cover themselves up.

“Alright then, I needed to do something on my own anyway.” Steven replied, as he began walking out of the building.

“Don’t worry about Billy. I’ll clean her up again.” Lilina called out, as she cuddled her younger sister.

What is it with these authors and their penchant for having little girls pee themselves and then be cleaned up again afterwards?

Californian graveyard

All of them look the same, of course, and there’s nothing special about this on, I’m sure, so why be specific?

Steven had bought some flowers and went for a walk to the local graveyard. He was going to visit a couple of graves that had special meaning to them; those of his friends who were taken away too early by that monster called Kristoph Gavin.

The convenience of my own decided location for my final defeat is reaching ridiculous lengths. This fanfic’s utterly admirable lack of self-awareness is worth marveling at.

Luckily there were right next to each other, making things that bit easier.

We can thank Retinz for that convenience, by the way, including the fact of informing Steven that these people were even dead in the first place. That kid is horrible at monitoring his own social network.

When he arrived there, he placed some flowers in the pot for Vera and her father, before putting the rest of the flowers in the pot for Bonny and Betty. After doing so, he then sat down in front of the gravestones and began talking to them.

“Hey there, it’s me. I just wanted to let you know that the man who did this to you all won’t be able to harm anyone ever again. Hopefully, he is receiving divine retribution for his horrendous crimes.

You’re the guy travelling with a magically proven moon worshipper, and served in a faction consisting of angels, you should know this shit!

But if anyone’s a criminal here, it’s me. I should have tried to save you all, but I couldn’t. I was too weak, and scared to do anything. I’m just as bad as Kristoph, and deserved to be punished.”

You’ve been a naughty boy, Steven. Guilt-whoring, ego-mania martyr complexes aside, does anyone else feel this out-of-nowhere pretentious scene is being ripped off from somewhere else, just to glorify Steven by being forgiven for shit he should never be blamed for?

Steven spoke softly, a few tears falling down his cheeks. A second after he had finished speaking, his face was hit by a soft breeze of wind. His mind clicked into gear; this was the spirit of his deceased friends telling him that he did nothing wrong, and that they held no ill will towards him.

Or it could be my vengeful ghost farting in your face, but take comfort wherever you find it, I guess.

“Thanks everyone…” he smiled, as a few more tears fell from is cheek as he got up. Just then, Ryoko and his sisters arrived at the graveyard and walked up to him.

“Is everything alright Steven?” Ryoko asked.

He has all the friends that microtransactions can get him, he’ll be fine.

“Yes. Everything is fine now.” Steven replied, wiping his tears away. “Come on everyone, we’ve got a bit of sightseeing to do.” The group of sixteen then left the graveyard, with Steven turning to look at his friends’ graves one more time.

Long live the Soviet Union!

Because what better pastime is there than pledging allegiance to an alliance that died out in 1991? It seems like this author troupe is already half-way to recreating its dissolution.

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Post #168

I have risen...

Group: Members
Posts: 285
Joined: 18-January 16
Member No.: 1,747
Gender: Male

post Jul 12 2017, 01:26 PM

As the dusk of Project AFTER comes even closer than ever, I've come to lay my final blow upon this wretched story. I mean, for pete's sake, I can't even get a proper recap into this thing! It's all over the place! Characters jump in left and right, locations are only a block away despite logic stating otherwise, and the intent of this story (demonize the denizens here) has gone over the rim and down to Earth after the author made us Phoenix Wright characters for no reason. Ugh. OH, and there's that business with Steven and his multitude of "little sisters". If you really want to watch something that handles that concept in a very mature and even heartbreaking way, go watch "Black Bullet". You won't be disappointed (the English dub's not bad, either). Let's get Chapter 40 over with, though.

Previously, Steven rescued his friends from the wicked Kristoph Gavin, avenging his friends in the process.

Note: there may be a Yu-Gi-Oh duel in this chapter

Frag! My one weakness! I know pretty much jack-slag about duels like this, but I'll do my best to keep on going. Also, yeah. Steven avenged some guys. Huzzah.

Chapter 40: The Ballad of Damon Gant

Oh, yeah. That's me, apparently. I go from a typical Nintendo fanboy to this poser. I'm also apparently the Chief of Police and a speed junkie. What even?

Chief of Police’s office

“Ahh…so Kristoph had bitten the dust, has he? I’ll send some police to investigate the crime scene.” Gant spoke over the phone, even though he had a good idea who the murderer was. “You report to me once you’ve finished the investigation.” He then hung up the phone and began typing away on his computer. Just then, his trusty Chief Prosecutor entered the massive office and sat down on a chair beside Gant.

Had this been better written and the author had paid more attention to my mannerisms, this could have actually worked. I would be some kind of noble demon-type character. But no. I'm probably gonna be another discount pedo. It's all this author knows how to do.

“I assume Kristoph has bitten the dust…” Manfred commented.

“Yes he has, shouldn’t have tried to have his way with Steven’s sisters.” Gant replied. “Although I will admit that Clair is fairly cute.”

If only Kristoph didn't act the same way as everyone else did in this fanfic. I'm going to be the sanest out of this fragging monkey troupe, aren't I?

“Yeah, she’s not exactly a bad looker, if I say so myself.” Manfred added. “Speaking of which, that was a good race we had. Just goes to show that I’m perfect at everything I do.” The veteran prosecutor bragged.

“Yes…perfect.” Gant gritted through his teeth, displeased over losing the sports car he had just bought.

At least I'm not a Cullen. Those fools think ever new car is somehow better. Here's hoping they were around when the Toyota was unveiled.

“Oh well, I’m sure that you’ll get another car eventually. Maybe the one that Steven has.” Manfred commented, as an idea popped up in Gant’s mind.

“Steven’s car you say…that gives me a wonderful idea!” Gant replied, a sinister smirk on his face, as he adjusted his tie.

Rig it with explosives, either killing him or just depriving him of transportation for the time being?

“You do? And what is this supposedly ‘wonderful’ idea?” Manfred asked.

“I’ll challenge Steven to a game of Yu-Gi-Oh, where he will wager his car, and I shall beat him!” Gant chuckled, clapping his hands.

.....Of course. Why not?

“Ok, there’s two problems with your idiotic plan. 1. I’ve never seen you play a single card game in your life. And 2. You don’t even have anything worth bartering.” Manfred retorted.

That's actually a very good point, Manfred. I'm basically rushing in here blind!

“On the contrary, my good sir. I am a tournament champion in Yu-Gi-Oh. I even managed to beat Steven’s father in a game.” Gant bragged. “And as for potential bartering bait…” He looked over to the safe beside his desk.

“You don’t mean!” Manfred exclaimed.

“Oh yes! I’m willing to hand over intel about the Skullfuckers, in exchange for Steven’s car.” Gant grinned wickedly. “However there’s no chance of him defeating me.”

I have intel on more of Byron's kind? No wonder I want to part with it! I mean...that was just vile.

“Let me see your deck then. I have to make sure it’s in top condition.” Manfred commented, as Gant reached into his desk drawer and retrieved his deck.

“I never knew you played Yu-Gi-Oh as well.” Gant commented.

Considering Manfred is based off Dashguy (I think, it's hard to keep track), that's a stupid statement I just made.

“I happen to run a very effective Battlin’ Boxer deck; it won me several tournaments.” Manfred replied, as he looked at Gant’s deck. “I must say, this is a rather impressive deck you have here.”

“Why thank you. I spent a good fortune amassing the necessary cards to build my deck.” Gant smiled, as Manfred handed back the formers deck.

Pretty good, considering my actual current strategy for a good deck is just 'how many dragons are in it'.

“I assume you know about the stakes in this wager of yours?” Manfred reminded Gant.

“Of course I do.” Gant replied. “And it’s a risk I’m willing to take.”

“But how do you know Steven would willingly offer his car away?” Manfred questioned the police chief.

“Well I’m not asking for one of his sisters, so he should be fine with wagering his car.” Gant pointed out.

The last thing I need is Chris Hansen slicing off my ass and hanging it over the fireplace.

“Touché.” Manfred replied. “Anyway, I have to act as prosecutor for a case. I’ll catch you later.” Manfred farewelled Gant, as the former exited the office.

“Heheheh, I’ll be getting a new car very soon…” Gant smirked to himself.

Oh, and by the way, I barely know how to drive. This can only end in tragedy.

California: Outside

I like how this author (or authors, really) can't even nail down a specific location. Are we in Los Angeles? San Francisco? Smack dab on the San Andreas fault?!

Steven, Ryoko and his sisters were walking around town, taking in all the sights that California has to offer.

And the outrageous taxes it had to offer, as well.

“Wow! This place is amazing!” Aya called out. “Just look at all the tall buildings!”

“Yeah, it is very nice, if a bit too warm for my taste.” Luna added.

With outfits like yours, prepare to sweat like a pig here.

“Hey big brother, once we’re done here, mind if we spend some time at the beach?” Billy asked.

“Alright then.” Steven replied. “Just make sure you bring enough protection from the sun.”

“YAY! Thanks big brother, you’re the best!” His sisters cheered.

Please, for the love of all that is decent, don't make this a typical anime beach episode. I have unpleasant memories of accidentally witnessing one with underage girls. The horror...the horror...

“No problem. But we’ve got to confront Manfred von Karma and make him pay for raping all those innocent ponies.” Steven reminded the group. Just then, they attracted the attention of several members of the Democratic Rebellion, who cheered the young man.

If MLP:FIM is really connected to this madness, wouldn't Princess Celestia and her ilk wipe out Project AFTER in one fell swoop? Oh, yeah. In bad fanfics, girl characters are always ineffectual. Just ask Mykan.

“It’s Steven, the kid who defeated Donald Trump!” A man called out.

“He’s our hero!” A woman called out, as a large group of people began cheering the rebels and offering their gratitude.

“What’s going on Steven?” Ryoko asked.

“They’re happy with big brother, because he was the one who defeated that meanie Trump.” Nino replied.

Meanie. Trump is a meanie. I know the author is writing for a child character, but who's willing to be one of the adult characters would have said that as well, given the maturity we're dealing with here?

“That was Steven?!” Nana exclaimed. “Wow, you’re a hero!”

“Yeah, you got rid of that disgusting pervert.” Nari added.

“Now I feel bad about misjudging you when we met…” Chihaya commented. Just then, a couple of police officers walked up to the group.

“You wouldn’t be Steven, would you?” one of the officers asked.

“Yes, that’s me.” Steven replied. “Why do you ask?”

“You’ve been given the utmost honour of having an audience with the Chief of Police, Damon Gant.” The second officer replied, as the crowd muttered amongst themselves.

Well, I did bring ice cream cake. Always treat your foes with respect, as I say. Well, as I say now, really.

“What an honour; the American hero meeting the Chief Gant.” The man from before whispered.

“I wonder if he will be receiving a medal for his valour.” The woman whispered back.

“Wait, the Chief of Police himself wants to see me?!” Steven exclaimed.

Looks like I've found out about your stash of Lolicon porn. Fragging hypocrite.

“Indeed, he’s heard about your bravery when confronting Donald Trump, and wished to speak to you. Of course, your companions can come along as well.” The first officer replied. “Here, I’ll escort you to his office.”

The group began to follow the officer, however Steven noticed that Clair had been rather quiet this whole time, and informed the others to go on without him, leaving him and Clair alone.

“Is something the matter?” he asked her.

“I’m…I’m thinking to myself about something.” She replied, in a somewhat sullen tone. Steven then recalled something that Kristoph said, implying that Clair had romantic feelings for Steven.

Do I have to mention Black Bullet again? Because it handled what we're about to see a whole lot better.

“Clair…do you have some romantic feelings for me?” Steven asked gently, as Clair proceeded to hug the man tightly and bury her face in his neck.

“Oh Steven, I’ve had these feelings for you, ever since you saved me and Celica back then.” She spoke softly, nuzzling his neck.

“Clair…I don’t want to offend you, but I only see you as a sister.” Steven replied, as he petted her back. “You’re a beautiful woman, there’s thousands of guys who would do anything to make you happy. I’m sure you’ll find someone nice.”

For the love of butter, why does it always have to be as a 'sister'?! Why not just 'friend' or 'ally'?! Oh, wait. The author has a crippling obsession with having siblings that will agree with everything he says. What a sad and pitiful existence.

“Y-you mean that?” She asked, removing her face from his neck.

“Of course I do!” Steven smiled, as he gently kissed her cheek, eliciting a blush from Clair. “Now come on, we don’t want to keep Police Chief Gant waiting.” The duo then began walking towards the California Police Headquarters, but not before Clair said one more thing to Steven.

“Thank you Steven…you made me feel better.” Clair thanked Steven.

“No worries.” He replied, as the two made their way to their destination.

Blech. Moving on.

Chief of Police’s office

The group we successfully escorted to the doors leading into the Chief of Police’s office. It was a grandiose set of doors, made out of mahogany wood.

Must...resist...DBZ Abridged joke...

“Now you listen here. You may be the people’s hero, but that doesn’t mean that you’re above Chief Gant. Got it?” the first officer told them.

“Yes sir.” Everyone replied, as the two officers returned to their designated positions.

“Well this is it everyone. We must be on our best behaviour.” Steven replied, as he opened the doors and everyone stepped into the large office and were in shock at what they saw. The office was absolutely massive, with large white tiles covering the floor. There was a desk to the right side of the office that was by a large window that had an amazing view of the city. All around the room was a large collection of priceless artefacts and treasure. But the most noteworthy part of the room was the massive organ on the back wall of the office. There was a figure sitting down on the bench, who flipped a few switches, that causing the organ to auto-play an ominous, yet majestic tune.

Well, I'm a fan of decorating my room, so this is appropriate.

*Insert Damon Gant’s theme here*

Screw that. We're playing this.

“Hmmmmm, is somebody here?” the figure got up off the bench and faced the organ.

“Uhhh, Chief Gant.” Steven called out nervously. “You requested my audience.” Gant turned around and walked towards the group, before stopping a couple of feet away from Steven, and began staring into the young man’s eyes. Steven’s spine had shivers going up and down it; Gant was one of the most intimidating men he has ever met. The two men continued staring at each other for a few seconds, before Gant broke the ice.

"Here's 100 dollars. Now, get an actual job."

“Ah! You must be Stevo!” Gant smiled warmly. “It’s so good to see the brave young man who defeated that scoundrel Trump!”

“I-it’s an honour to meet you sir!” Steven blurted, standing up straight.

“You seem awfully tense today.” Gant noticed. “How about we all go swimming? I know a couple of places.”

Oh, look! More of the author's tsundre attitude towards us. This time, it's him wanting to swim with me. Sorry, boy. I don't swing that way.

“Ummm…we would like to Mister, but we’ve got to confront that meanie Manfred, who hurt all those innocent ponies.” Clarine rejected Gant’s offer, as the man became quiet, and stared into Clarine’s eyes, unnerving the young girl.

“You must be Riney, right?” Gant asked, with Clarine nodding in response. “I have good news for you; I’ve heard rumours that your family are alive.”

"Your friend here, I notice, doesn't afraid of anything, I see."

What? Gotta keep the slag grammar her consistent.

“Really?!” she exclaimed. “Please tell me where they are!”

“I would like to sweetie, but unfortunately I have no idea where they are.” Gant replied, as he played with his hair. This had upset Clarine, but at least she knew that her family were alive. Steven then noticed that Aya had been hiding behind Ryoko’s legs the entire time.

“Aya, is everything alright?” Steven asked.

“Nooo….that man…is MasterOfNintendo.” Aya replied weakly, as the rebels were surprised to hear this shocking revelation.

Um...how did you come to that conclusion? I know she must have seen me in-story before, but I was a fat slob who dressed up like Mario back then. Now, I look like a finely sharp dressed well-fit man with electrical hair.

“So you accuse me of being a member of Project AFTER, do you?” Gant said to Aya. “I hope you have some evidence to back your accusations up.”

“I do. I remembered seeing you alongside that Manfred fellow, talking about how Kristoph is a disgusting paedophile.” Aya replied. Gant stared into her eyes for a few seconds, before he started clapping his hands and chuckled, as if someone had told him a funny joke.

“HAHAHAHAH! I guess the cats out of the bag now!” Gant chuckled, as he soon ceased his clapping. “As Aya-kins said, I am an Elite agent of Project AFTER.”

Oh, here it comes. The subtlety has been thrown straight out the window. I don't remember Gant being this up-front about his villainy before, too.

“B-but why?!” Steven exclaimed.

“How do I put this into words that the little ones can understand? Ah yes, I was devastated by the high crime rate affecting my city, thanks to the revolts caused by Trump getting elected. So I made a deal with GorillaGamer, where he will help me become the Chief of Police, and in return, I arrest anyone he deems to be a criminal. Thanks to him, I am now the Chief of the entire American Police.” Gant explained his motives.

The ENTIRE American police?! Really shows how much these author's care about the legal system. Then again, at least I have a proper motivation beyond "rape, rape, rape, rape, etc."

“Y-you mean—“Ryoko began.

“Yes, I am the highest ranking police man in the United States.” Gant cut her off. “It’s such a shame that I had to arrest so many fanfiction authors. I like fanfiction.”

Another trait of mine that this guy gets right?! I don't know whether to feel flattered or unnerved by how much focus I got here.

“Wait, you like fanfiction?” Celica inquired.

“Yes Celi. I’m quite the fanfiction connoisseur if I say so myself.” Gant admitted. “I remember reading this Ace Attorney fanfiction where I was in a romantic relationship with Matt Engarde himself. I showed it to him, but he got very angry and stormed out of my office.”

Slash-fics aren't my style. Oh, well. That accuracy was as good as it lasted.

“So you joined Project AFTER to become Chief of Police and get rid of crime once and for all?” Steven said. “Surely there was another solution.”

“I tried several other options, but there was no other way.” Gant replied, before a grin grew on his face. “Now how about a game of Yu-Gi-Oh?”

“You play Yu-Gi-Oh?” Winda asked, as Gant brought out his deck, as well as a medium-sized table and two chairs.

“Indeed, I’m quite the skilled player, Windy.” Gant told her. “In fact, I defeated Maximillion Pegasus himself.”

“You duelled my father?!” Steven asked, surprising the police chief.

Oh, yeah. His father was Pegasus. How could I forget? Except I wish I could.

“Ohh, so you’re the young lad Pegasus was talking about.” Gant said, as he played with his hair again.

“Indeed, and I accept your challenge.” Steven declared, as he whipped out his deck and sat down on one of the chairs.

Say what you will, but at least we won't get another copy-paste fight scene. I hope. I can hope, right?

“Excellent!” Gant smiled, clapping his hands. “How about we make things interesting by having a wager?”

“I’m listening…” Steven replied.

“If you win, I’ll hand over vital intelligence regarding the Skullfuckers.” Gant offered.

"In fact, take it right now. What horrors I have to show you! What depravity have you mongrels wrought!"

“And if I lose?” Steven replied, as a sinister smirk appeared on Gant’s face.

“You will hand over the keys to that nice Infernus of yours, and allow me to go on a date with Clair.” Gant smirked wickedly, as he adjusted his tie.

“Ehh? You only want a date, as opposed to enslaving me?” Clair inquired.

A guy who just wants to take it slow while ALSO associated with Project AFTER?! What talk of madness is this?!

“Of course, Clarity. I wouldn’t want to do anything sexual to you, especially after Kristoph tried to grab you by your cunny.” Gant replied. “I know a few places where we can enjoy a good meal.”

We're in California, so might as well head off to the California Pizza Kitchen. Can't get enough of it.

“Not only do you want to treat Clair to a dinner, but you want my car as well?” Steven inquired.

“Correct. Ever since I saw you and Ryokie drive off in it, I’ve been lusting after it.” Gant admitted.

"Truth be told, I'm a mechanophile. Blame the artist Ratbat for it. He SOMEHOW managed to do that. He's that good."

“Let me double check things with Clair, before we begin.” Steven said, as he turned around to face Clair. “So what’s your thoughts on the wager?”

“Well I’ll admit that I’m not that interested in him, but he doesn’t seem like a degenerate pervert, so I’ll go on the date with him should you lose.” Clair whispered back, as Steven turned to face Gant.

“It’s a deal!” Steven called out. “How about we start off with double the life points?”

“Wonderful!” Gant grinned, as he clapped his hands. “I accept your proposal.”

I'm going to be silent for the majority of this. Not only because I know little about duels like this, but because I'm just so darned nice here. Then again, let's see how much this change of pace lasts.

“But be prepared to hand over the intel when we lose.” Steven called out, as Gant’s sinister smirk returned.

“Oh, I’ll show you the techniques I used against your father, Steven. Be prepared to hand over your car keys!” Gant declared.

*end of music*

Duel begin

Steven Pegasus: 8000

Damon Gant: 8000

Note: All made up cards will be underlined

Key word: Made-Up. Usual result: God-Mode. Other result: Fragging indifference.

“Alright, how about I start things off?” Steven asked, as he and Gant shuffled their decks before drawing their starting hands. “I play my Field Spell, Worm Sanctuary!” Steven placed his card on the field. “I then Set a monster and end with a facedown card.”

“Oh, my turn already? I draw!” Gant declared, drawing his card. “I place my own Field Spell, Mountain, granting all Dragon, Thunder and Winged-Beast monsters an addition 200 ATK and DEF points!” he placed his own card. “I will play a monster face down as well, and end with two facedown cards.”

“Hmmm, it’s my turn. I draw!” Steven called out. “I Flip Summon my Worm Dimikles, activating it’s Flip Effect! It gains an additional 300 ATK and DEF points.”

Worm Dimikles (1700-2000) (1400-1700)

“I’ll set another monster, and I’ll have Dimikles attack your facedown monster!” Steven declared, as Dimikles attacked Gant’s monster, revealing it to be Blackwing-Mistral the Silver Shield.

Mistral (100-300) (1800-2000)

“Awwww, too bad for you. My monster ain’t going that soon.” Gant commented, as the attack failed to destroy the monster.

“No way! You play Blackwings?!” Steven gasped, confusing his entourage.

“Uhhh, what’s the problem?” Sakura asked, since she knew nothing about the game.

“Allow me to explain Sakura-Chan.” Gant began his explanation. “Blackwing’s are one of the most powerful Archetypes in the game, due to their vast swarming abilities, as well as how easy it is to summon their respective Synchro monsters. In the hands of a good duelist, Blackwing’s can utterly devastate an opponent with ease.”

“Sounds dangerous…” Lilina replied.

“Indeed they are, and it’s time I show you how dangerous they are. I draw!” Gant declared. “I activate my facedown Black Whirlwind! This card is a vital piece of the Blackwing machine; every time I Normal Summon a Blackwing monster, I can add a Blackwing monster from my deck to my hand, provided it has a lower ATK stat than the monster I summoned.” He activated his Continuous Spell card.

“Now I’ll summon Blackwing-Bora the Spear in ATK mode!” Gant summoned his powerful monster.

Bora (1700-1900) (800-1000)

Twenty thousand bottles of rum on the wall, twenty thousands bottles of rum...

“Now Black Whirlwind’s effect activates. I get to choose one Blackwing Monster from my deck with less than 1700 ATK, and add it to my hand.” Gant chose his monster. “And I will now tune my Mistral with my Bora to Synchro Summon Blackwing-Nothung the Starlight!” Gant Synchro summoned an especially powerful monster.

Nothung (2400-2600) (1600-1800)

“Nothung’s ability activates! When it is Synchro Summoned, my opponent loses 800 life points.” Gant stated, as Steven winced in pain.

Steven Pegasus: 7200

Damon Gant: 8000

“Additionally, one of your face up monsters loses 800 ATK and DEF.”

Worm Dimikles (2000-1200) (1700-900)

“And finally, I get to Normal Summon another Blackwing monster, every turn, on top of my original summon. And I will set another monster face down.” Gant set his monster. “Now Nothung, destroy his Dimikles!” Steven cried out in pain, as Gant’s monster destroyed his Worm, dealing a fair amount of damage to his life points.

Steven Pegasus: 5800

Damon Gant: 8000

“I’ll end my turn.” Gant smiled, as he then began smirking. “Now do you see how I managed to defeat your father?”

“I can see your strength, but it’s not over for me yet. I draw!” Steven declared. “I activate my facedown card, Solidarity! If I have only one original monster in my Graveyard, then all my face up monsters gain 800 ATK. I set another monster and Flip Summon my Worm Rakuyeh!” Steven Flip Summoned his monster.

Worm Rakuyeh (2100-2900)

“Now I’ll have Rakuyeh destroy your Nothung!” Steven called out, as his monster destroyed the intimidating Synchro monster.

Steven Pegasus: 5800

Damon Gant: 7700

“I’ll set another card facedown and end my turn.” Steven called out. “Worm Rakuyeh’s effect activates. If it attacks this turn, it is changed to facedown Defence position at the end of my turn.” Steven said, as he changed his monster’s position.

“To destroy one of my most powerful Synchro monsters…” Gant stared ominously at Steven, before breaking out in laughter. “You must be a fantastic duelist!”

“Eheheheh, thanks sir.” Steven replied, a faint blush on his face.

“And now it’s time for my turn. I draw!” Gant declared. “I Flip Summon my second Blackwing-Mistral the Silver Shield.”

Mistral (100-300) (1800-2000)

“And now I’ll activate my card’s effect. If the only monster I control is a Blackwing monster, I can Special Summon Blackwing- Gladius the Midnight Sun!” Gant summoned his monster.

Gladius (800-1000) (1500-1700)

“I shall now tune my Mistral to my Gladius, to Synchro Summon Blackwing-Gram the Shining Star!” Gant summoned his second Synchro monster.

Gram (2200-2400) (1500-1700)

...You take one around, pass one around, 19 thousand bottles of rum on the wall...

“Gram’s ability activates! I can Special Summon a Level 4 or lower Blackwing monster from my hand, however it’s effect is negated.” Gant informed the rebels. “And I’ll special summon my Blackwing-Vayu the Emblem of Honor!”

Vayu (800-1000) (0-200)

“I shall tune my Vayu to my Gram, to Synchro Summon Blackwing Armed Wing!” Gant Synchro summoned again.

Blackwing Armed Wing (2300-2500) (1000-1200)

“I shall summon Blackwing-Zephyros the Elite in ATK mode, enabling me to activate Black Whirlwind.” Gant summoned his monster and activated his spell card, adding a monster from his deck to his hand.

Zephyros (1600-1800) (1000-1200)

“Now my card’s effect activates. If it is added from my deck to my hand via a card effect, I get to Special Summon Blackwing-Breeze the Zephyr!” Gant special summoned his monster.

Breeze (1100-1300) (300-500)

“Now I’ll tune my Breeze to my Zephyros to Synchro Summon Blackwing Armor Master!” Gant Synchro Summoned yet again.

Blackwing Armor Master (2500-2700) (1500-1700)

“I activate Zephyros’ effect. If it is in the graveyard, once per duel I can return one face-up card I control, and pay 400 life points to Special Summon it from the graveyard.” Gant stated, as he returned his Black Whirlwind and pay the life point cost.

Steven Pegasus: 5800

Damon Gant: 7300

Zephyros (1600-1800) (1000-1200)

“I’ll then play my Black Whirlwind spell again, and I’ll have Armed Wing attack your facedown Rakuyeh! I should let you know that Armed Wing deals piercing damage when attacking a monster in DEF position, as well as gaining a temporary 500 ATK boost.” Gant declared an attack.

Armed Wing (2500-3000)

“I activate my Waboku Trap Card! This prevents my monsters from getting destroyed, and I take no damage this turn!” Steven called out.

“In that case, I’ll end my turn by using a Mystical Space Typhoon to destroy your Solidarity.” Gant said, using his spell to destroy Steven’s card. The young man looked at the field; Gant had two very powerful Synchro monsters, and a fairly powerful Blackwing monster, as well as the Mountain Field Spell, the Black Whirlwind, and another facedown card. Steven on the other hand, only had two facedown monsters, and his Field Spell. He knew he had to draw something that could even things out.

“I…draw!” Steven called out, and drew his next card before looking at it. Perhaps he can make things work out after all. “I Flip Summon my Worm Apocalypse, and activate it’s effect. I can select one Spell/Trap card, and destroy it, and I’ll choose your Mountain Field Spell!” Steven called out, as Gant sent his spell to the graveyard.

Armor Master (2700-2500) (1700-1500)

Armed Wing (2500-2300) (1200-1000)

Zephyros (1800-1600) (1200-1000)

“I then activate Worm Sanctuary’s effect. Once per turn, I can set a face up Worm monster into facedown defence position.” Steven added. “I then summon Worm Barses in attack mode and activate it’s effect. I can target a monster in defence position, and change it into face up attack position, and I’ll choose my Worm Apocalypse again. You know what that means…” Steven smirked, as his Worm destroyed Gant’s Black Whirlwind.

“I then play the Spell card, Double Summon, enabling me to Normal Summon again. I tribute my Worm Apocalypse to Tribute Summon Worm Warlord!” Steven called out, summoning his powerful monter. “Now Worm Warlord, attack Armed Wing!” Steven called out, as his monster destroyed the intimidating Synchro.

Steven Pegasus: 5800

Damon Gant: 7250

“Worm Warlord’s effect activates. When it destroys a monster by battle, it can attack one again! And I’ll have it attack your Zephyros.” Steven called out, as his monster attacked again.

Steven Pegasus: 5800

Damon Gant: 6500

Tell me again. How many bottles of rum have been passed about?

“I then end my turn with a facedown card.” Steven declared, as Gant stared at Steven for a few seconds, before he started chuckling.

“Talk about a most powerful combo! You certainty knocked the wind out of my sails!” Gant chuckled while clapping, before his sinister smirk returned. “Too bad that it doesn’t affect me in the slightest.”

“B-but your Black Whirlwind was destroyed.” Chihaya pointed out.

“Indeed it was, Chi-Chi. But who said that was the only copy of the card I have?” Gant replied. “I draw!” He smirked at what he saw.

“I play my second Black Whirlwind, to replace the one that Steven destroyed.” Gant placed his second copy on the field. “I then activate my other facedown card Cards for Black Feathers. I can banish a Blackwing monster to draw 2 cards, however I can’t Special Summon this turn.” Gant banished a monster and drew his cards. “I set a monster face down, and I’ll have Armor Master destroy your Barses.” Steven flinched in pain as he lost some life points.

Steven Pegasus: 4700

Damon Gant: 6500

”I end my turn.” Gant replied with a smile. “Now make your next move.”

“Alright then, I will. I draw!” Steven called out, and mentally cheered over his draw. “I Tribute my Worm Rakuyeh to Tribute Summon Worm Queen in Attack mode!”

“Wait a minute, that a Level 8 monster. You need to tribute your other monster as well.” Gant pointed out.

“Not really, Worm Queen can be Tribute Summoned by offering only one monster, provided that it’s a Worm monster.” Steven corrected his opponent. “I then activate her effect. I can tribute my Worm Warlord to Special Summon a Worm monster from my deck with a Level equal to, or lower than the offered monster.” Steven tributed his Worm Warlord. “And I’ll Special Summon it in facedown defense position.

“Now my Queen, destroy his Armor Master!” Steven declared.

“Not so fast! My Armor Master’s effect activates. Not only is it not destroyed in battle, but I don’t take any damage from the attack.” Gant sneered, adjusting his tie. “Additionally, your monster is equipped with a Wedge Counter.”

“Argh, I end my turn.” Steven gritted through his teeth.

“It’s my turn. I draw!” Gant called out. “I summon Blackwing-Shura the Blue Flame in attack mode, enabling me to activate Black Whirlwind.” He summoned his monster and added a card from his deck to his hand. I then activate my cards effect. If I control a Blackwing monster other than itself, I can Special Summon Blackwing-Gale the Whirlwind!” Gant Special Summoned his monster.

“Ahhh…” Steven gasped quietly.

“But that’s not all. I activate my Armor Master’s effect. Once per turn, by removing a Wedge Counter from your Worm Queen, I can reduce it’s ATK and DEF to 0.” Gant added.

Worm Queen (2700-0) (1100-0)

“Now Shura, destroy his precious queen!” Gant called out, as Steven winced in pain over losing a lot of life points.

Steven Pegasus: 2900

Damon Gant: 6500

“Shura’s effect activates. I can special summon a Blackwing monster with 1500 or less ATK from my deck, but it’s effect is negated.” Gant stated. “I special Summon Blackwing-Damascus the Polar Night.”

“And now I’ll have Armor Master attack your facedown monster!” Gant declared, as Steven’s monster was revealed to be Worm Noble.

“Not so fast! I activate my Trap card Shield Spear! This card grants my Worm Noble a temporary 500 ATK and DEF boost.” Steven countered Damon’s attack.

Worm Noble (1500-2000) (2400-2900)

“Armor Master’s effect prevents me from taking battle damage.” Gant reminded Steven.

“It does, but it doesn’t protect you from Worm Noble’s effect.” Steven said, surprising Gant. “When a Worm Noble is flipped face up by an attack, the opponent takes damage equal to half the attack of the monster that attacked Worm Noble.”

Steven Pegasus: 2900

Damon Gant: 5250

This chapter has officially sucked me dry. Truly.

“Grrr, I end my turn.” Gant growled.

“Alright then, it’s my turn. I draw!” Steven called out. “I activate Worm Sanctuary’s effect, enabling me to set Worm Noble in facedown defense position.”

“I set a monster in face down position, and end with two cards facedown.” Steven said.

“Is that all?” Gant asked. “In that case, I draw!” Gant looked at his newly acquired card and smirked.

“I flip summon my Blackwing-Jetstream the Blue Sky.” Gant Flip Summoned his monster. “I then tune my Gale to my Shura and my Jetstream to Synchro Summon Blackwing-Silverwind the Ascendant!” Gant Synchro Summoned another powerful monster.

“Oh no, not another one!” Ryoko called out.

“And now that I have all the necessary cards, I can end this duel now! Sliverwind, attack his Worm Noble!” Gant called out.

“Not a chance! I activate my Scrap-Iron Scarecrow! Once per turn, I can negate an attack from an opponent’s monster.” Steven called out, as Gant’s attack was blocked.

“Fine by me. Now I’ll have Armor Master attack your Worm Noble!” Gant prepared a second attack. “Too bad you can’t activate your Scarecrow again.”

“I don’t need to, I can activate my Sakuretsu Armor.” Steven retorted. “If an opponent’s monster declares an attack, I can destroy it with this card.”

“No! My Armor Master!” Gant gasped, as a bead of sweat fell down his forehead. “I end my turn…”

“Alright then, I draw!” Steven drew his card and smiled at what he saw. “I play the Ritual Spell, Black Illusion Ritual. By offering a monster as a tribute…” Steven tributed a monster from his hand. “I can Ritual Summon Relinquished!” the young man smirked, as he summoned one of his ace monsters.

“What’s with that card?” Billy asked. “I don’t remember seeing it in his deck.”

“It’s his special card. It saved me and him from that meanie back then.” Aya replied, a small smile on her face.

“Relinquished?” Gant stared at the monster in fascination. “You really are your father’s son.”

"Your father's made-up son, to be exact."

“You like my Relinquished?” Steven inquired. “If so, then you’ll love this. I can select one of your monsters, and equip it to Relinquished, allowing it to gain ATK and DEF equal to the equipped monster’s stats, and I’ll choose that nice looking Silverwind of yours.”

Gant growled as he was forced to surrender his powerful Synchro Monster to Steven.

Relinquished (0-2800) (0-2000)

“Now I’ll have Relinquished attack your Damascus!” Steven called out, as his monster destroyed Gant’s monster, dealing a fair bit of damage.

Steven Pegasus: 2900

Damon Gant: 3750

“I end my turn with a facedown card!” Steven declared, as Gant started to shake in rage.

“I can’t lose…I must win. I need that sports car badly…” Gant started muttering to himself. “I DRAW!!” he looked at his card and smirked wildly “Game over Steven…”

“Huh? What do you mean?” Steven asked.

“I summon Blackwing-Blizzard the Far North in attack mode and activate its effect. I can special summon a Level 4 or lower Blackwing from my graveyard, and I choose to bring back my Gladius in defence mode.” Gant began. “I then activate my cards effect, if I control a Blackwing monster other than itself, I can Special Summon Blackwing-Kris the Crack of Dawn from my hand.”

“Next I’ll use Monster Reborn to bring back Gale from my graveyard.” Gant used his spell card. “I’ll then proceed to tune my Blizzard with my Gladius to Synchro Summon Assault Blackwing-Sohaya the Rain Storm!”

‘Another Synchro monster.’ Steven thought to himself.

“Sohaya’s effect activates. If it was Synchro Summoned using Blackwing monsters as material, it is classified as a Tuner monster.” Gant stated. “I then tune my Gale to my Kris to Synchro Summon Blackwing-Chidori the Rain Sprinkling.”

‘What’s he up too…” Steven thought to himself, as a twisted appeared on Gant’s face.

“Now it is time. I tune my Sohaya to my Chidori to Synchro Summon the ultimate Blackwing!” Gant declared, as thunder started crashing outside the building.

“W-what’s going on?!” Clair exclaimed. “It was like this when we began.”

You just summed up the entire battle here and, by extension, this entire fanfic when you get down to it.

“Now come forth to me, Blackwing-Onimaru the Divine Thunder!!” Gant cried out to the heavens, as he summoned his most powerful monster.

“My Onimaru is immune to your card effects, so no more Sakuretsu Armor for you.” Gant smirked. “Additionally, whenever it attacks a monster, it gains 3000 ATK during the damage step.”

Onimaru (3000-6000)

“Oh no! If that attack lands, then it’s all over.” Nino gasped.

“HAHAHAHA! Correct Nino-kins.” Gant chuckled. “Now Onimaru, destroy Relinquished once and for all!”

“I activate the Trap Card, Nutrient Z. If I’m about to lose more than 2000 life points, I can gain 4000 life points.” Steven called out.

Steven Pegasus: 6900

Damon Gant: 3750

“Too bad it doesn’t stop my attack.” Gant pointed out, as Steven cried out in pain over losing his life points.

Quit it. It's just a game. And now, a bunch of fanboys want my head.

Steven Pegasus: 3700

Damon Gant: 3750

“Relinquished’s effect activates. If it has a monster equipped to it, I can send the monster to the graveyard to prevent it’s destruction, and deal damage to the opponent equal to the damage I took.” Steven gasped, as Gant cried out in pain over losing a lot of life points.

Steven Pegasus: 3700

Damon Gant: 550

“So your Relinquished is still around? Good, I needed it to be…” Gant panted heavily. “I activate the effect of my Blackwing-Etesian of Two Swords! If a Blackwing monster I control battles an opponent’s monster, but they still have their monster at the end of the Damage Step, I can send it to the graveyard to deal 1000 points of damage to your life points. And I have three of these bad boys.” Gant discarded his cards, dealing a lot of damage to Steven.

Steven Pegasus: 700

Damon Gant: 550

“I’ll defeat you next turn…” Gant gritted through his teeth. Steven was in between a rock and a hard place, since Gant had his all-powerful Synchro monster on the field, and his Relinquished had lost its equipped monster. Steven needed to draw something good, this instant.

“It’s my turn…I DRAW!” Steven called out, as he drew his card and stared at it. Things were going to work out after all. “I activate my cards effect. I can only special summon it if I remove all my reptile-monsters from my field and graveyard.” Steven removed his monsters from play. “Now come forth to me, Evil Dragon Ananta!” Steven summoned his trump card.

“WHAT?! YOU HAVE THAT CARD?!” Gant shouted, not believing what he was seeing.

“I do.” Steven replied. “Ananta’s effect activates. It gains 600 ATK and DEF for every reptile monster removed from play, and I count seven monsters.

Ananta (0-4200) (0-4200)

“No! I cannot lose!” Gant exclaimed, beads of sweat pouring down his face.

“You played admirable, but it’s time I end this.” Steven notified Gant “Evil Dragon Ananta, destroy Onimaru!” He called out, as his monster destroyed Gant’s Synchro monster.

“UUUUWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” Gant screamed, as he was electrocuted by a bolt of lightning.

I'm got even bothering to bring up the .gif that inspired that. Not ever.

Steven Pegasus: 700

Damon Gant: 0

Duel has ended.

“You did it!” Steven’s sisters crowded around their brother. “You defeated him!”

“I’ll admit that it was quite a challenging match.” Steven admitted.

Challenging? How about 'too damn long'?!

“But you still overcame your opponent. You’re the greatest!” Ryoko smiled, causing Steven to blush lightly. Their musings was interrupted by the sound of laughing.

*Insert Damon Gant’s theme here*

Do I really have to bring up the theme I got again?! Because at least I can be my own person instead of a fragging video game character!

“Ehehehehehe….Ahahahahahahah…BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!” Gant started laughing like crazy, clapping incredibly fast with his speed picking up, until he began frothing at the mouth and collapsed onto the floor.

The cyanide pills must be kicking in.

“Are you ok mister…?” Luna asked.

“…no Lunie. I’m not. Not only did I lose the chance to date Clair, but I lost my chance at getting a sports car and achieving my dreams…” Gant spoke softly, laying down on the ground.

“What dreams?” Steven asked.

“In my suitcase, are some pictures I drew, detailing my dreams. It’s on my desk, Stevo.” Gant replied, getting up off the ground. Steven sighed and walked over to the desk and retrieved the pictures from the suitcase.

“I wonder what disgusting filth he fantasises about…” Nari muttered to herself, as the rebels crowded round Steven, only to be surprised at the rather tame content of the drawings.

Are they cute baby animals? Because that would be another accuracy the author has a chance to nail.

The pictures depicted Gant doing several things with the Pegasus sisters of Lycia, and Valentia. There was a picture of him playing a card game with Farina, a picture of him reading a book alongside Florina and her steed Huey, as well as a picture of him relaxing in a bed of flowers next to Fiora. Additionally, there was a picture of Gant watching the sunset with Catria, a picture of him having dinner with Palla, and a picture of him and Est watching a comedy movie. It all came to a head as the final picture showed the seven of them cuddling each other by an open fire.

Attached Image

Hot damn! Turns out, the authors gave me a harem of my own that's in no way being abused and it's even of legal age. Author, are you trying to demonize me or praise me? You're doing a little of both right now.

“Is this…is this your ideal life?” Celica asked.

“…yes Celi. This is my dream life; to live a happy life with my six most precious gifts, my lovely wives. I was disgusted when I saw GorillaGamer’s plans to sexualise them in his new film, where Florina, Farina and Fiora get mutilated and torn apart by vicious aliens.” Gant admitted. “The date with Clair was an attempt to have her come visit my place, since my wives are your biggest fans, and have expressed their wish to meet you.”

Knowing this version of GorillaGamer, I'm guessing he chose the rip-off aliens from Alien Vs. Hunter.

“O-Oh my! I never knew I had fans.” Clair commented.

“My wives adore you. They have admired your techniques on breeding Pegasai.” Gant informed her.

“Seems kind of sleazy of you to marry more than one sister.” Steven commented.

...OKAY, WHAT?! What does that make you?! You've had sex with God-knows how many woman by now (you even got sodomized by one and was none the worse for wear) and you're calling out another's potential lifestyle of just that?! It's not even one I aspire to, but in this story, I do, apparently. And they're not my 'sisters', you freak. In-story, they're supposed to be my dream WIVES. At least I'm not deluded by dreams of having more related family members, you twit. And don't say I'm not one to talk just because I have a brother.

“Wait…” Gant began.

“If you really loved them, then you’d pick one, as opposed to playing with all their hearts.” Steven continued.

Shut up. Just shut up.

“I said wait!” Gant smirked at Steven, while he was adjusting his tie. “You shouldn’t be throwing stones in glass houses.”

Yes! Thank you! Another burst of competence! Wonder what Steven's rebuttal will be?

“What do you mean?” Ryoko asked.

“Steven over here, has been having sex with a lot of women, in the name of the ‘Son of Starmos’ which ended up being a hoax.” Gant pointed out, his sinister smirk burrowing into Steven’s soul. “I wonder how your partners will react once they learn of this. Lusamine, Esdeath, Eirika, Chiaki. I’m pretty sure they’ll feel betrayed. One of them might even kill you in revenge.”

True, that. Especially Esdeath. It was bad enough when she got obsessed with one guy. Imagine how it will turn out for you. There won't be a safe orifice of yours by the end of the day.

“Steven was lied to by that treacherous liar Lizeea!” Nana retorted.

“Oh, so Steven was lied to, you say?” Gant replied, clearing his throat. “I heard some interesting information about Steven hating his role as a Son of Starmos. If that’s the case, then why did you have sex to begin with? Why follow the role you hate, as opposed to ignoring orders?”

Good, good. Your rebuttal, Steven?

“Because it was the only way I can ensure the safety of me and my sisters.” Steven rebutted. “I’m not some pervert who fools around with two sets of sisters.”

You keep telling yourself that. Bloody hypocrite...

“Hey! I’ll have you know I treat all my wives equally!” Gant snapped. “At least I’m not a guy who blows his load into a woman, before running off.”

“Alright, you crossed the line!” Steven snarled, as he pulled out his pistol and aimed it at Gant’s head. “Either you pick one sister and divorce the rest, or I’ll kill you!” Steven threated the Chief of Police.

“Now wait a minute, you don’t need to shoot me. F-Fiora’s pregnant, you wouldn’t let the baby grow up without a father, would you?” Gant attempted to plead for his life, beads of sweat pouring down his face. Rage coursed through Steven’s body, as he fired a round into Gant’s head, killing the man instantly.

And with that, I die a happy man in this fanfic. I have shown Steven to be what he truly is. A selfish fool who deludes himself into thinking he's some kind of grand hero when, in actuality, he'll kill anyone who lives a life of polygamy. Oh, and he doesn't believe in the phrase 'wife' or 'anything isn't of brotherly or sisterly origin'. I officially stand triumphant!

Oh, and you just orphaned a child that will never get to see his father's face again. You monster.

*end of music*

“Fucker deserved to die for being an AFTER slimeball!” Steven commented, as he soon noticed a familiar face, a police officer named Ronald Grump, who was an anti-communist, but also mentally challenged.

Okay, now, we're back to being stupid. Who is this? What is going on now?

“Here Ronald, hold this gun for me…” Steven requested. “It will help defeat Communism.”

“Err, alright sir.” Ronald accepted the request and held the gun. It was at this point that Steven shouted into the hallway.

“Help! This man had murdered Chief Gant!’ Steven called out, as several officers tackled Ronald Grump.

“You’re going to die for this, you scum!” an officer growled, as they took Ronald to the holding cell, where he will be executed by the electric chair.

You're a true monster, you know that, Steven? You'll send mentally challenged men who don't believe in Communism to their death just to save your filthy hide after you murdered a somewhat morally ambiguous, but well-meaning man like me in-universe. Rot in Hell, you prick.

“That…was a bit extreme.” Ryoko commented.

“I know, but Gant was a womanising slimeball who worked for Project AFTER.” Steven justified himself.

“We love you big brother~” Steven’s sisters chimed in.

“And I love you all too.” Steven replied, as the group then made their way to confront Manfred von Karma and make him pay.

Long live the Soviet Union!

May it decay slowly as you realize how much of a complete hash you've made your life out to be.

I'll...just let everyone make their own opinions of what went down in this chapter. Still, I got off WAAAAY easier than I would have anticipated. Guess we'll have to see where this madness will take us now.


The mistakes I see in this this work are to be pointed out so they may not be repeated.
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Post #169

Shillin' Best Girl from Fire Emblem: Echoes

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post Jul 12 2017, 05:13 PM
Great job MasterOfNintendo!

This chapter...this chapter was something else. Not only were you treated far less harshly than the rest of the members here, but this chapter proves that Steven is a despicable cretin. I cannot blame SovietRussiaMan for this chapter, since he was booted off the team sometime between Chapter's 28 and 29, which was stated in one of the authors notes on a chapter I mocked.

I'll let Dashguy know that he can begin Chapter 41. Perhaps he can put in his $0.02 on the duel.

List of mocks can be found here: Here

QUOTE (AnItalianGuy @ May 27 2016, 02:03 AM) *
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
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Post #170

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post Jul 13 2017, 06:16 AM
“Fucker deserved to die for being an AFTER slimeball!” Steven commented, as he soon noticed a familiar face, a police officer named Ronald Grump, who was an anti-communist, but also mentally challenged.



How very subtle.

I'll let Dashguy know that he can begin Chapter 41. Perhaps he can put in his $0.02 on the duel.

My thoughts coincide with those of MasterOfNintendo. The whole thing was horribly boring. Steven keeps on playing Worms like a beatdown archetype and Gant makes the most basic use of Blackwings possible. The writing is terribly simplistic, with zero descriptions of anything beyond lines, making it look more like the summary of an episode in the Yu-Gi-Oh! wikia, and the constant mentions of life points and monsters' stats between parentheses break the flow of the narrative and readers' immersion. In short, it's shit.

I'll be done with my chapter soon.
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Post #171

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post Jul 13 2017, 11:05 AM

Previously, Steven defeated the evil Damon Gant in a duel and killed him. Now the heroes are on their way to deal a blow to AFTER, by killing Kizami, Manfred and destroying the Skullfuckers.

Now, you can probably guess the reason I asked GorillaGamer for this chapter: it’s the one where I bite the dust. I wonder how I will go. A clean shot to the forehead? My neck snapped by Steven’s hands? Beaten to death by the same ponies I enslaved? The last one would be pretty cool, if you ask me, so I think we can safely rule it out.

Chapter 41: Triple Threat!

Outside the Police Headquarters

Steven and Co. had exited the Police Headquarters, and heard the sound of Ronald Grump getting electrocuted on the electric chair.

Hopefully satiating the author’s hate boner for Trump for at least a couple of chapters.

He then crossed Gant’s name off his hit list, and looked over it again.

“Ummm, big brother. Who’s our next target?” Winda asked.

It always fascinated me how these kind of writers are so bad at what they do that they end up eliciting the exact opposite reaction of the obviously intended one. Case in point: we’re obviously supposed to find Steven’s “sisters” adorable. But here they are, asking about their next target in their usual “cheery” selves after having witnessed a man getting shot to death at point blank range and a second one executed after serving as a scapegoat. This is the kind of shit that would be played for drama in a series like “Gunslinger Girl” and downright horror in any other.

“We have three targets; Manfred von Karma, Yuuya Kizami, and the Skullfuckers.” Steven replied. “Luckily for us, they’re all in California at the moment.”

“If they’re all here, then we should split up. That was it will take less time.” Chihaya suggested.

“All that would do is put us all in great danger.” Nari responded. “We should pick a target, and deal with them before moving onto the next one.”

“Makes sense, but who do we go for first?” Nana asked.

“Manfred. He’s the reason why we came here to begin with. That sick bastard has been drawing oodles of hentai depicting my precious little Winda getting raped.” Steven replied, gripping the hilt of his sword tightly.

You know, SovietRussiaMan, or whoever is working on this, it’s difficult to take your points seriously when your self-insert’s reason for lashing against this other character is something anal-retentive people often complain on Tumblr.

By the way, I can’t draw for shit.

“That’s horrible!” Aya gasped.

“Exactly, which is why me must punish Manfred first.” Luna replied.

As opposed to the group that has been killing people for the sole fact of liking a mediocre game.

“So where is Manfred anyway?”

“He’s at the Californian Fight Club, whenever he’s not prosecuting a case.” Steven said. “Luckily, it’s only a few minutes from here if we walk there.”

“Lucky this”, “lucky that”. At this rate they will arrive there only to find me dead from a sudden cardiac arrest.

“Why would someone house an illegal fight club right near the Police Headquarters?” Clarine wondered.

“The establishment owner isn’t afraid of the police, since Manfred and Gant are in cahoots with each other…or were.” Billy replied.

“Yeah! My brother defeated that meanie!” Elise cheered. “It’s too bad that those nice ladies he talked about had lost a man who cared dearly for them.”

“I know…I just wish there was another way…” Sakura added.

“I feel bad for them as well, but Gant was the enemy. It was either him or us.” Steven justified his actions.

“Y-you’re right.” Lilina replied. “We really had no choice in the end. We’ll have to explain it to them once we’re done with our three targets.”

I’m sure they will understand. I mean, can you imagine what would’ve happened if you left MasterOfNintendo alive? Magic The Gathering, Pokémon, Cardfight Vanguard…he could have keep challenging you to play childrens’ card games.

“Ok, let’s go defeat that meanie who hurt those poor ponies!” Nino declared.

Nice to see at least one person around here remembers the ponies, even if it’s just to justify murder.

“Let’s all do our best!” The group proceeded to make their way to the illegal fight club in the city.

Illegal fight club.

Excuse me, I prefer “Legitimate Businessman’s Pugilism Club”, thank you.

The rebels had arrived at their location and entered the building. The building was your average bar, with a staircase in the back that lead down into the basement, where the fighting takes place.

“Hello there, I’m looking for the fight club that takes place here.” Steven asked the bartender.

“Sure.” The bartender replied. “It’s down the staircase, and in the basement.”

“Alright then.” Steven replied, as he and his entourage walked down the stairs into the basement.

Ah yes, must be one of those ilegal fight rings with no admittance age limits that are all the craze nowadays in California.

When they arrived there, they saw Manfred deliver a few blows to an opponent, knocking them out.

Man, I hope I’ll be this hardcore when I reach my fifties.

“HAHAHA! Looks like you’re far too weak to stand up to perfection embodied.” Manfred sneered. The fairly old man was quite muscular for his age, and wore noting but a pair of blue and red shorts that professional boxers wear. “I demand another opponent to satisfy my bloodlust!”

Having said that, I would like to know how did I go from this:

The second guy wore a Taekwondo uniform, adorned with a blackbelt. He had short black hair, and brown eyes. Steven shivered at the sight of the second man; he was Dashguy, the most infamous traitor in brony history. Allegedly responsible for the death of several famous brony authors, including KKat, JDR, ROBCakeran53, Pen Stroke, Sergeant Sprinkles and many more. Dashguy was also the most reviled criminal in Equestria, due to being the mastermind of a group of sadists that kidnapped the Elements of Harmony, and locked them up in a dungeon, where they were raped for over three months.

To a perfection-obsessed prosecutor with forty years of experience.

“Then I’ll challenge you!” Steven called out, as he stripped down to nothing but his black and yellow boxer shorts and entered the arena. A faint blush appeared on Ryoko’s face, as she saw Steven’s sexy body. Manfred grinned wickedly at the sight of Steven.

“Ah, you must be that twerp who killed Gant! I notified his wives, and they were devastated! I promised to comfort them and to take care of their steeds while they got out and plan the funeral.” Manfred grinned wickedly. “I’ll give all those pegasai the loving they deserve.”

“Exploiting grieving women to fulfil your sick desires; you really have no soul, do you?” Steven called out Manfred.

Uh…I just said I’m going to take care of their steeds. I mean, the tired horsefucker jokes aside, I’m not going to do anything bad to the girls in question. In fact, you did more evil by killing the guy who was taking care of them.

“Ha! Says the guy who killed Gant. All he wanted was to provide a comfortable life for his special wives. And you took that from him because you were called out on your hypocrisy.” Manfred jeered.

“Gant was exploiting those women for his own sick desire!” Steven retorted.

Have you noticed how the “heroes” never come up with a good retort for the antagonists’ accusations beyond “shut up, you’re wrong”? It’s the written equivalent of a kid throwing a stone against a window then getting hit in the face after it bounces back to him.

“And what about all those women you blew your load in, and dumped like a used sock once you’re done with them? Face it, you’re just jealous that Gant got to marry them before you blew your rancid sperm into them!” Manfred sneered. “And once they’re done grieving, I’ll swoop in on them and make my harem, and add Clair and Celica on top!”

“You’re a disgusting misogynist, you know that?” Steven growled.

Why don't you go complain about it on Tumblr?

“On the contrary, my good sir. You are the misogynist in this room. You not only keep your sisters in the shadow, treating them like damsels in distress, as well as exploiting your female rebels for sex that they didn’t even want, but you go on a tirade about how Trump Supporters and Project AFTER are misogynists, yet you play hentai games, that depict women as nothing more than tits and ass!” Manfred sneered. “Pegasus would be so disappointed in you, if he was still around.”

“How do you know about my father?!” Steven demanded. “Where did you learn about my personal life?”

“Maybe if I focus on the fact he knew Pegasus the readers won’t notice I haven’t even tried to answer any of his accusations.”

“I used to work as a Player Killer for your father.” Manfred recalled his past. “You might recognise me as Panik.”

“Wait, so you’re the Panik?” Steven replied, with Manfred nodding in response. “So you’re the coward who attacks unsuspecting duellists from the darkness.”

“HOW DARE YOU!” Manfred roared. “I am not a coward! I am the monster that children check their closets for every night!”

Panik? The Player Killer of Darkness from the Duelist Kingdom arc of Yu-Gi-Oh? Jesus Christ. I swear this is like that crossover parody between Johnny Bravo and Scooby Doo where the gang pulls the mask from the monster to reveal a suspect, except it’s a mask too and they keep pulling for four or five more times.

“Yeah, you keep lying to yourself.” Steven retorted. “You’re a coward who sends his legion of trolls to harass the developers of My Girlfriend is the President. You know nothing about honor!” Steven added, causing Manfred to growl.

“Ummm, what are you talking about, brother?” Clair inquired.

I like how even the sisters are baffled by the nonsense that comes out of Steven’s mouth.

“HAHAHA! My Girlfriend is the President is a shitty hentai game, where you play the role of a self-insert, who ends up fucking animu depictions of Barack Obama, Hilary Clinton, and even Vladimir Putin.” Manfred answered.

No wonder I hate it. It sounds like the dumbest shit ever.

“The Putin girl is named Putina, and in her route, she gets turned from a strong girl, into a damsel in distress, only to have the self-insert save her and turn her into his cum dumpster! It’s another one, of those misogynistic games that Steven and those drooling monkeys over at FimFiction obsess over.”

“Leave the brony community out of this!” Celica snapped at Manfred.

They’re already too busy humillating themselves every five seconds.

“Hah! Don’t talk to me like that! I’m a good little brony.” Manfred replied.

“Shut your mouth, you liar!” Steven snapped. “You kidnapped and raped the Elements of Harmony alongside your cowardly gang, using devices to block their magic because you’re a big coward.”

Or maybe because I’m not an idiot?


“Hah! I know all your tricks, Panik. You can’t do anything to me!” Steven smirked.

“In that case, then why don’t we get this fight started?” Manfred suggested. “Go my Castle of Dark Illusions. Blanket the field in your darkness!” Manfred summoned his castle, causing it to blanket the arena in a cloud of darkness.

“Ah, what’s going on?” Steven asked.

“It’s the Castle’s ability. It blankets the field in darkness, allowing me to attack you when you least suspect it.” Manfred grinned evilly. “I’ve been training in the darkness for years, while you’re cowering in fear!”

Whoa, I can summon Yu-Gi-Oh! a monster to aid me in battle? That’s pretty cool actually. Although it does bring the question of why I don’t just summon a Red-Eyes Black Dragon to set the fucker on fire.

“If anyone’s cowering in fear, it’s you.” Steven retorted, causing Manfred to growl. “I don’t need a cheap advantage to defeat my opponents.”

If you’re trying to insult me, champ, you’ll have to do better. In all the years I’ve been training I’ve been always advised to “play dirty”. Aim for the soft spots, use improvised weapons, etc.

“I happen to be a perfect master in every single martial arts that exists!” Manfred sneered. “I shall instil fear and panic into you!”

Not only I learned to fight in the dark but also mastered every martial art out there? Damn, I’m awesome.

“Ha! I’m ready for your attack.” Steven smirked, as he got into stance. “Come at me.”

“In that case, I’ll break you in half!!” Manfred growled, as the two combatants charged at each other.


Steven ran at Manfred and delivered triple jump kick to Manfred, all three of his kicks connecting with Manfred’s chest while in midair, causing the man to groan in pain. Manfred retaliated by throwing Steven into the ground and began pummelling him with kicks and punches. Steven responded by kicking Manfred in the balls before getting up and striking the evil man with a powerful tornado kick. Manfred then started charging at the young man and launched a barrage of powerful punches, before he helicoptered Steven onto the ground.

This reads awfully familiar…

Steven ran at Kristoph and delivered triple jump kick to Kristoph, all three of his kicks connecting with Kristoph’s chest while in midair, causing the man to groan in pain. Kristoph retaliated by throwing Steven into the ground and began pummelling him with kicks and punches. Steven responded by kicking Kristoph in the balls before getting up and striking the evil man with a powerful tornado kick. Kristoph then started charging at the young man and launched a barrage of powerful punches, before he helicoptered Steven onto the ground.

This angered Steven, as he charged at Manfred and delivered a powerful jump kick, causing Manfred to fly back a few feet. Manfred responded by charging at Steven and assaulting him with a bicycle kick, breaking Steven’s nose. Steven responded by spinning around and using a spinning back kick on Manfred, winding the teenage man.

This angered Steven, as he charged at Kristoph and delivered a powerful jump kick, causing Kristoph to fly back a few feet. Kristoph responded by charging at Steven and assaulting him with a bicycle kick, breaking Steven’s nose. Steven responded by spinning around and using a spinning back kick on Kristoph, winding the teenage man.

Manfred responded by charging at Steven, jumping in the air, and slamming into Steven using his stomach. Steven responded by throwing Manfred on the ground and kicked him for five minutes. Manfred then grabbed Steven’s leg and tripped the young man, before Manfred got up and began stomping on Steven’s stomach for five minutes. Steven then dragged Manfred down with him and began smacking the back of his head, while Manfred was punching Steven’s stomach. Eventually the two men got up and charged at each other, assaulting each other with punches and kicks. Eventually Steven got the upper hand and socked Manfred in the gut, knocking the wind out of him. Steven then punched Manfred in the nose, causing buckets of blood to spray everywhere.

Kristoph responded by charging at Steven, jumping in the air, and slamming into Steven using his stomach. Steven responded by throwing Kristoph on the ground and kicked him for five minutes. Kristoph then grabbed Steven’s leg and tripped the young man, before Kristoph got up and began stomping on Steven’s stomach for five minutes. Steven then dragged Kristoph down with him and began smacking the back of his head, while Kristoph was punching Steven’s stomach. Eventually the two men got up and charged at each other, assaulting each other with punches and kicks. Eventually Steven got the upper hand and socked Kristoph in the gut, knocking the wind out of him. Steven then punched Kristoph in the nose, causing buckets of blood to spray everywhere.

Nothing like letting an untalented hack dig his own grave.

“Ha! You’re quaking in your boots!” Manfred sneered. “You’re a little lost lamb, and I’m the big bad wolf!”

“You call those moves martial arts? All I saw was the flailing of a cowardly bully who relentlessly mocks other people.” Steven retorted.

“What are you talking about?” Manfred demanded.

“I’ve seen your fanfiction mocks, and they’re nothing more that the bitter readings of a jealous author who got upset over people leaving negative reviews on his OCxharem fic.” Steven explained. “Who would have thought that the big bad Panik got scared over a few little comments?”

Guess the brave thing to do would have been writing a story where I pummel all those mean commenters with my fists.

“Grrr, I am not scared of negative comments!” Manfred snarled. “I have eliminated all of those puny authors!”

“I also did some research into your ‘perfect 40-year prosecution record.’ All I saw was illegal investigations, bargain deals with witnesses, and even fabricated evidence.” Steven added. “You’re a sham! As a prosecutor, and a player eliminator!”

But you have to admit holding two completely unrelated jobs, prosecutor and duelist, for so long is kind of impressive.

“Watch your mouth, otherwise I’ll break you in half!” Manfred warned.

“I won’t let you follow in Gant’s footsteps and exploit those innocent Pegasai Knights.” Steven promised. “I’ll show to the world what a snivelling, little coward you are!”

“GRRRRRRRRRRRR, I SHALL BURN YOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUU!!” Manfred roared, as he pressed a button and activated some fire jets, surrounding the arena in pillars of fire.

“Big brother!” Nino cried out, as Steven’s sisters were forced to step back to avoid the flames.

“Ha! Your cheap pyrotechnics don’t scare me!” Steven retorted.

“Maybe not, but the combination of my fire and the Castle’s blanket of oppressive darkness will!” Manfred sneered, as the two men charged at each other again.

Wouldn’t the flames surrounding them illuminate their surroundings and defeat the purpose of cloaking the arena in darkness?

Steven ran at Manfred and delivered triple jump kick to Manfred, all three of his kicks connecting with Manfred’s chest while in midair, causing the man to groan in pain. Manfred retaliated by throwing Steven into the ground and began pummelling him with kicks and punches. Steven responded by kicking Manfred in the balls before getting up and striking the evil man with a powerful tornado kick. Manfred then started charging at the young man and launched a barrage of powerful punches, before he helicoptered Steven onto the ground.

This angered Steven, as he charged at Manfred and delivered a powerful jump kick, causing Manfred to fly back a few feet. Manfred responded by charging at Steven and assaulting him with a bicycle kick, breaking Steven’s nose. Steven responded by spinning around and using a spinning back kick on Manfred, winding the teenage man.

Manfred responded by charging at Steven, jumping in the air, and slamming into Steven using his stomach. Steven responded by throwing Manfred on the ground and kicked him for five minutes. Manfred then grabbed Steven’s leg and tripped the young man, before Manfred got up and began stomping on Steven’s stomach for five minutes. Steven then dragged Manfred down with him and began smacking the back of his head, while Manfred was punching Steven’s stomach. Eventually the two men got up and charged at each other, assaulting each other with punches and kicks. Eventually Steven got the upper hand and socked Manfred in the gut, knocking the wind out of him. Steven then punched Manfred in the nose, causing buckets of blood to spray everywhere.

Your eyes are working perfectly fine. The author indeed made a copy-paste of the shit he copy pasted from the previous chapter. What can I say? You are a sad individual when the Dakari King Mykan himself puts more effort in his writing than you.

“Graahhh…I will claim those Pegasai Knights all for my own, just so you can’t exploit them Steven.” Manfred spat out some blood.

“For the last time, Gant exploited them for his own sick desires.” Steven retorted, refusing to budge from his beliefs.

“No Steven…” Ryoko replied. “I don’t agree with you.”

“Huh?” Steven replied. “Why would you say that?”

“Didn’t you see those pictures he drew? They showed genuinely touching scenes, as opposed to raw smut.” Celica added. “That doesn’t look like something a pervert would do.”

“Bu-but he married all six of them.” Steven added.

“Maybe that’s because he couldn’t bear to break any of their hearts.” Clair suggested.

“Y-you mean I killed a genuinely nice guy?” Steven asked.

“Well he was a member of Project AFTER, but he seemed like a decent guy forced into a situation he didn’t want to be in.” Ryoko said, as Steven collapsed to his knees and cried out to the heavens above.

Well, I’ll be. The dolls are contradicting their master. Guess it’s time to exchange them for the newer models.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” Steven cried out, tears pouring from his face.

“HAHAHAHAHA! I had hired Ronald Grump to assassinate Gant, but it’s a good thing that you too care of him!” Manfred laughed. “But don’t worry, there’s a way that you can make things right.”

“Huh…?” Steven asked, a few tears falling down his cheeks.

“You were born with a special gift, the ability to revive people, though only if you do so before a week has passed after their demise. You can make things right by bringing back Gant from the grave, but I won’t let you!” Manfred sneered. “I will make you feel a level of fear and panic that will resonate with you for the rest of your life.”

Phew! That was close! Can you imagine if Steven had to deal with the consequences of killing two innocent men?

“Not a chance!” Steven called out.

“But before I do, I’m going to tie you down have so much fun with all of your sisters!” Manfred sneered. “I will plunge them into the darkness, where I will strike from the shadows, and have my way with them!”

I would actually prefer to do it in a well lit envirovment.

This angered Steven a lot, as his body shook with rage, and he yelled out loud. “Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrra aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaah hhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

Manfred stared at Steven, and felt an unusual feeling; an expression of fear that he hadn’t felt ever since he lost to Yugi back then.

“Huh, what is going on here?” Manfred asked.

“Your depraved comments gave me the rage boost that I needed, Panik.” Steven retorted. “Now I have the strength to destroy you, you pathetic coward.”


I’m angry too. How come I don’t get a power boost?

Steven ran at Manfred and delivered triple jump kick to Manfred, all three of his kicks connecting with Manfred’s chest while in midair, causing the man to groan in pain. Manfred retaliated by throwing Steven into the ground and began pummelling him with kicks and punches. Steven responded by kicking Manfred in the balls before getting up and striking the evil man with a powerful tornado kick. Manfred then started charging at the young man and launched a barrage of powerful punches, before he helicoptered Steven onto the ground.

This angered Steven, as he charged at Manfred and delivered a powerful jump kick, causing Manfred to fly back a few feet. Manfred responded by charging at Steven and assaulting him with a bicycle kick, breaking Steven’s nose. Steven responded by spinning around and using a spinning back kick on Manfred, winding the teenage man.

Manfred responded by charging at Steven, jumping in the air, and slamming into Steven using his stomach. Steven responded by throwing Manfred on the ground and kicked him for five minutes. Manfred then grabbed Steven’s leg and tripped the young man, before Manfred got up and began stomping on Steven’s stomach for five minutes. Steven then dragged Manfred down with him and began smacking the back of his head, while Manfred was punching Steven’s stomach. Eventually the two men got up and charged at each other, assaulting each other with punches and kicks. Eventually Steven got the upper hand and socked Manfred in the gut, knocking the wind out of him. Steven then punched Manfred in the nose, causing buckets of blood to spray everywhere.

I…have no words. This is the third copy paste on the same freaking chapter. It’s like one of those shitty nineties’ cartoons that re-used the same footage over and over again.

“Ahhh…I can’t be defeated. My perfect record of victories…” Manfred gasped, his body exhausted from getting beaten up.

“It’s over Manfred! I have won this battle. Now surrender to me and admit defeat.” Steven told Manfred.



“Now, taste my rage, Manfred!” Steven called out, as he ran at Manfred and socked him in the jaw, causing the older man to fall to the group. Just then, the flames died down and the rebels saw the victorious Steven.

“You did it big brother, you won!” Winda smiled.

“I…I did.” Steven replied weakly, as Manfred barely managed to get up off the ground, and whipped out his button again.
“GRAH! I MAY NOT HAVE DEFEATED YOU, BUT I CAN STILL ELIMINATE YOU!” Manfred roared, as he pressed his button and fired a large stream of fire that surrounded the arena, but was surprised to see Steven unaffected by the fire. “Hey, what’s going on?!”

“This magic pendant that Draconia gave to me protects me from your cowardly attack. But nothing can save you from, OBLIVION!” Steven declared, as the pendant reflected the fire.

“Huh……AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!” Manfred screamed, as he was disintegrated into nothing.

This would be more impressive if the author had not already copied the Panik defeat scene for the fight against Master of After.

Steven panted a bit and was about to hop out of the arena, when he was confronted by Officer Giraffe and Kizami.

“You mother fucker!” Giraffe snarled. “Because of you, the Skullfuckers are dead!”

“Huh? But we haven’t done anything.” Luna rebutted.

“Those rebels invaded our hideout, and not only destroyed the corpses of Shmeckie and Max, but they killed all our lieutenants.” Kizami added. Steven shrugged and fired his gun at the duo, killing them instantly.

This level of laziness is one of the reasons I have difficulty believing there’s more than a single person writing this garbage.

“Well, there’s our three targets taken care of.” Steven called out, as he got redressed. “Come on everyone, I’ve got something I need to fix.” The group exited the basement.

Hurry up and revive MasterOfNintendo so you don’t look bad, you little cretin.

Long live the Soviet Union!

Yeah, Hail Satan and shit. Anyway, this is how I meet my end, in an extra sucky chapter. At least I take comfort in knowing that I wasn’t only Dashguy, but Manfred Von Karma and the Player Killer of Darkness. You try to top that, guys.
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Post #172

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post Jul 16 2017, 07:02 AM
Well then, time for my curtain call on this fic. Alright everyone, let's mosey.

Previously, Steven dealt a triple blow to Project AFTER, and is on his way to bring back Damon Gant, before hunting down the last member of Project AFTER, other than GorillaGamer.

All due respect given to the Ace Attorney franchise, but I still don't understand why it all of things became our de facto representation at this point. The Soviet's just got really high on опиат at some point.

Chapter 42: Tightening the noose

California morgue

Queens, New York. December 31st, 2028.

Steven and the rebels had arrived at the Californian morgue, when they noticed half a dozen women sitting quietly in their seats, with one of them being 1-2 months pregnant. The rebels easily deduced that the six women were the Pegasus Knights who adored Clair so much; Florina, Farina, Fiora, Palla, Catria and Est. It was obvious that they were grieving over the loss of their beloved husband.

“So you came to pay your respects as well…” Fiora commented, gently petting her belly. “Now my child will grow up without their father.”

Most of my characters from Fire Emblem Awakening grew up without a father because I keep letting them die. They turned out alright. Until I let THEM die.

“I…I saw it happen before my eyes. A police officer named Ronald Grump had been hired to assassinate Gant and I. However he came too late, as I was ordered to by the Ivalician Rebellion to assassinate your husband. I’m so sorry.” Steven admitted his guilt.

So since no one else seems to have brought this up, I guess I will. Ronald Grump was, in fact, a parody of Donald Trump, but the real kicker is that he was a character from Sesame Street. See, back before the whole election thing, Trump was just a celebrity billionaire and it was fun to make jokes at his expense instead of depressing. Sesame Street made a character after Trump to make jokes about billionaires being greedy, and I'm guessing one of the Soviet's got enough of a pirated TV signal in their gulag to have watched one of those episodes. But yes, it is worth mentioning that Ronald Grump, the deadly assassin/killer cop, was in fact a muppet.

At least it wasn't George Zimmerman.

“But why were you ordered to kill him? He didn’t do anything wrong.” Florina inquired, a few tears falling down her cheeks.

“He was an elite agent of Project AFTER.” Steven informed them, expecting them to be surprised. However he was the one who will be surprised, when he noticed that the girl’s faces didn’t change, as if they knew all along.

“Didn’t he tell you? He was a mole hired by the Democrats to infiltrate Project AFTER.” Palla asked Steven.

You know, they purposely sabotaged Bernie Sanders, flagrantly lied to people and withheld critical information, and allowed Donald Trump to be elected, but this? The DNC has gone too far.

“Wait, what?!” Lilina called out. “Gant was a double agent all along?”

“Yes, he informed us of what his job was. However he was being blackmailed by the Chief Prosecutor, Manfred von Karma.” Catria replied.


“I took care of that man. He will no longer hurt any of you.” Steven informed them.

“That’s good and all, but how will that bring back our Ganty?” Farina asked.

“It won’t but I have another way.” Steven said, as he entered the morgue room and saw the deceased body of Damon Gant. It looked like he was peacefully asleep, as if he had never been shot. Steven charged up his revival magic and cleansed Gant’s body in an aura of light. A minute later, Gant’s eyes fluttered, as he woken up and rubbed his head.

Then, still having a bullet in his head, promptly died again, making Steven even worse of a person than anyone named "Steven" typically is.

“Ahhh…what an odd dream. I imagined myself getting shot by the Democratic hero himself.” Gant mumbled to himself, as he turned to the side and saw Steven. “Huh…what are you doing here?” Steven got to his knees and knelt before Gant.

Oh come on, do we need another one of these scenes? I thought the Starmos thing was a myth.

“I’m so sorry sir…I never knew you were a double agent for the Democrats that loved all his wives equally.

Yeah, wait, hold up. It just struck me that one of the "good" guys is supposedly an open polygamist. Is...do communists support polygamy?

I’m so sorry that I murdered you in cold blood, denouncing you as a womaniser. But most of all, I’m so sorry I made your wives cry.” Steven apologised profusely.

Making women cry > Murder.

“I have no recollections of what occurred the previous day, asides from my duel with you. That was an excellent game by the way!” Gant smiled, clapping a few times. “Though if what you’re saying is true, then I forgive you. I should have brought it up when the topic of my role in Project AFTER was brought up, but it slipped my mind.”

Which one of you fucks was this guy again? I feel like throwing you into a pool out of spite.

“Speaking of which, I dealt with Manfred von Karma for good. He won’t be harming you or your wives anymore.” Steven added.

“Finally…I’m no longer being blackmailed by that man.” Gant sighed a breath of relief. “He managed to find out about my true allegiance and has threatened to kidnap me and rape my beloved wives, unless I do whatever he says.”

Leaving open the question of how an ordinary human would rape a bunch of pegasus riders with magic anime video game powers...Oh wait, sorry. That's right. They're women.

“As it turns out, Manfred hired a man named Ronald Grump to assassinate you.” Steven added. “He’s dead by the way.”

“Why would he want me dead?” Gant inquired.

“Manfred got sick of waiting and wanted to kidnap and enslave your wives.” Steven replied. “Speaking of which, why don’t you go meet them? They’ll be thrilled to see that you’re back from the grave.”

I dunno. The gaping bullet wound in his head might be a bit off putting.

“An excellent idea, Stevo!” Gant grinned, as the duo walked out of the room. The then confronted the group outside the room, who were surprised at what they saw.

“Ganty, you’re back!” Est smiled, as she and Gant’s other wives all gave him a group hug.

“It’s so good to see you all, my special little angels.” Gant smiled at them.

Is this the rumored league of angels around which this story was built?

“B-but how are you still here? You had a gunshot wound to the head.” Palla inquired.

“I…I have this power that can bring back people from the dead, provided that I do it within a week of their passing.” Steven replied. “However it’s limited to one use per person.”

Dragon balls. Got it.

“That’s alright, I’ve still got plenty of life in me!” Gant chuckled. “And now I get to see my child grow up.”

“One question, are you going to have a child with all your wives, or just Fiora?” Steven asked.

“I’m not sure myself. I’ll see how things go and if it’s possible, I’ll have a child with all my wives.” Gant replied, as he cuddled the people closest to him.

“So now that you’re free from Manfred’s grasp, is there any information you can tell us?” Nino asked.

Where did you come from? Were you just hiding out in Steven's pants this entire time?

“Well I know that with Manfred dead, there’s only one more elite agent aside from GorillaGamer, but he’s the strongest of them all.” Gant answered.

“So who is this powerful agent?” Aya asked.

“A man by the name of Badass Overlord.” Gant replied. “He’s a half-human, half-cyborg who was created solely to kill anyone GorillaGamer asks him to.”

Also he break dances really well.

“I see…” Steven replied. “Thanks for that Gant. Once me and my sisters are done with Project AFTER and GorillaGamer, how about we have another duel?”

“I’d like that!” Gant smiled. “Just be prepared to hand over that nice car to me when I win. Oh and here’s a walkie talkie for whenever we need to share information with each other.”

“In your dreams! Oh and thanks for the walkie talkie.” Steven playfully teased, as the two groups went their separate ways. Steven and his group then brought out their teleporters and wound up back in the rebel base, ready to confront Badass Overlord.

I'm glad I'm dead, because I don't want to be in a world where MasterofNintendo gets to be happy.

Rebel base

The group had arrived at the rebel base, and had met up with Draconia’s group. The rest of the rebels were pleased to see Steven and his group, if a bit tired.

Tired of your shit.

“Welcome back.” Draconia greeted. “So how did your mission go?”

“Boy, was it exhausting.” Steven replied. “I would like to hit the hay for a bit, but I can’t.”

“Hehe, don’t we all get days like that?” Aria smiled. “So what’d you get up to?

"Sounds like someone's got a case of the Mondays," Aria said right before Little Boy leveled Hiroshima.

“It was a series of events.” Steven began his recollection.

Thanks. That describes literally everything in the world.

“First things first, Me, Sonia and Chiaki rescued my friend Ryoko from Yasuke’s grasp, and ended that fucker once and for all.”

“So I take it this red-haired lady is Ryoko?” Scarlet Thorn inquired.

“Yep! It’s nice to meet all of Steven’s wonderful friends.” Ryoko greeted.

“And it’s so nice to meet you. I’ve heard good things about you.” Nereida replied.

“Anyway, after I had defeated Yasuke, me and Ryoko found a letter written by Kristoph, stating that he kidnapped my sisters.” Steven continued.

Oh no, not the sisters! You don't have enough extras to substitue them!

“Oh my…how bad was it?” Aurora Blade added.

“It was horrible!” Aya called out. “He kept on grabbing us and rubbing his thingy up against us. Not to mention that he took our clothes off and even made Billy wet herself again.”

“Not to mention that he drank it all up. All while looking at me with a creepy look in his eyes.” Billy added.

...man, did I dodge a bullet.

“The worst part was that he promised to feed us some broth, but he never did.” Chihaya added. “I was terribly hungry.”

“I don’t think that’s what he meant, when he said that he was going to fill us up with his broth.” Celica replied.

“Yes, I’d rather not know what he meant when he said broth.” Luna added.

He meant semen. That's the joke. Or what passes for one.

“Thankfully, big brother confronted the meanie who hurt both us, and his friends, and defeated him!” Elise chimed in.

“It was a bit scary though, since I’ve never seen big brother get that angry before.” Sakura added.

“After we had gotten redressed, we saw Steven pay his respects to his friends. I was quite sweet, if I say so myself.” Nari commented.

“We were then greeted by several agents of the Democratic Rebellion, stated that the Chief of Police himself wanted to congratulate us. And then a bowl of spaghetti and meat balls flew into the room and landed atop the communist flag. I and Steven then had a private conversation that really lifted my spirits.” Clair added, a small smile on her face.

“The Police Chief was a friendly man, by the name of Damon Gant. He had a rather nice office, although I will admit that he has a fascination with swimming.” Nana added.

“It turns out that he was a mole hired by the Democrats to obtain information from Project AFTER. He told me that my family is still alive, though he didn’t know where they are.” Clarine chimed in, a smile on her face.

“Shortly after, both Damon and big brother played a card game against each other, where Steven wagered his sports car, and Damon wagered some intel he had. After a close match, Steven came out on top and obtained the intel.” Lilina reminisced.

“As it turns out, Damon is married to six wonderful women, which he treats with kindness, and respect.” Steven added. “I then confronted Manfred, Kizami, and the Skullfuckers and killed them all.”

Awesome recap. Now no one has to read any chapter except this one I'm mocking to understand any context. All praise to me.

“Wow, talk about a busy day!” Melody called out. “Perhaps you need a little rest, my stallion.”

“Ahh, I’m fine Melody.” Steven stammered, a faint blush on his face, before he cleared his throat. “What we need to do is invade Project AFTER’s Battle Fortress and take out their last commander, a cyborg by the name of Badass Overlord. Then we can march to the AFTER Headquarters and take out GorillaGamer once and for all!”

I don't get it. Did I have to be a $5 patron to gain access to the Battle Fortress?

“I like that idea. I’m down for a good rumble with Project AFTER.” Shadow Stalker smirked.

“Finally, we’re taking the war to AFTER, as opposed to the other way around.” Lunar Priestess commented.

“Alright folks, we’re going to march to the AFTER Battle Fortress. Any objections?” Draconia called out, with no one objecting. “In that case, let’s go.”

Project AFTER Battle Fortress

I wonder where they're going.

The rebels had arrived at the Battle Fortress, and confronted a large squadron of AFTER goons.

“Gwhahaha! Time to kill some rebels!” an agent sneered.

You know what this anti-fanfiction mocking community could have really used an army for? Mocking fanfiction.

“Ok here’s the plan. My squad will deal with the small fry, while your group will go confront Badass Overlord and defeat him.” Draconia told Steven.

“Alright! Come on gang!” Steven called out, as he and his group dashed inside the fortress, the agents watching them go in.

“Now that we’ve got them out of the way, let’s crush these rebels!” an agent sneered.

“You’ll be the ones who’ll get defeated!” Blood Baroness retorted, as the two groups charged into battle.


You know what I love most about this fic? The clever dialog and riveting action sequences.

Crimson Rose and Aria immediately began firing at a small group of agents, killing them instantly. Additionally, Lunar Priestess and Melody charged up their magic spells and blasted some more agents with the spells. Meanwhile, Rose Knight, Aurora Blade and Draconia were mowing down some more agents with their weapons, with Nereida and Shadow Stalker providing back up. Additionally, Blood Baroness and Scarlet Thorn used their vampire magic to eliminate the rest of the agents.

Case in point.

“Ok, that’s the enemy defeated. Now let’s provide back up support for Steven and his group!” Draconia called out, as the rebels charged into the building.

The rebel group had spotted Steven’s group, whom had defeated a large platoon of AFTER agents. Just then the heard the sound of footsteps coming towards them.

Don't use words like "whom" unless you know how they work, you failure of a pretentious mongrel.

“Ah! Who could that be?!” Nereida asked out loud. Her question would get answered, as the rebels were confronted by a large cyborg that caused Draconia to gasp in fear.

“The Dominator! So you’re the Badass Overlord we’ve heard about?” Draconia gasped.

Let's see, what do my notes say about this dude...Apparently he is "the super fucker that I'm sure Steven will beat in one go."

“I was once called The Dominator, but now I’m the Badass Overlord.” Badass Overlord replied, in a robotic voice.

“What did GorillaGamer do to you?!” Aurora Blade asked out loud.

“He turned me into a cyborg, enhancing my powers even further than before.” Badass Overlord explained.

"He also taught me how to love in many different orifices."

“I…I can’t believe this has happened.” Melody spoke sadly. “The Dominator I knew has been replaced with this mechanical monstrosity.”

What a digital dummy.

“Please Steven…put The Dominator out of his misery.” Shadow Stalker requested.

“If you say so…” Steven replied, as he stabbed Badass Overlord’s head, killing him instantly,


“Thank…you…” Badass Overlord gasped, before he died, never to open his eyes again.

“I’m sorry…” Steven spoke softly, before he whipped out his walkie talkie. “Gant, this is Steven here. We defeated the Badass Overlord.”

“Ahh, that should be good news for you…” Gant began, before he picked up on Steven’s sadness. “What’s the matter? You don’t sound too happy.”

“Turns out that the Badass Overlord was the leader of the Paragon Heroes, a man known as The Dominator.” Steven replied.

"You mean the spokesman for the internationally acclaimed dildo brand?!"

“So that’s who GorillaGamer meant when he talked about The Dominator.” Gant replied. “If I recall, he learnt of his location from that Lizeea lady.”

“I knew she was responsible!” Shadow Stalker growled to himself.

“Anyway, with the Badass Overlord gone, all that remains is GorillaGamer himself. He should be in the Headquarters.” Gant informed the group. “I’ll give you the co-ordinates for his location, but be warned; he’s incredibly powerful. I’ll recommend bringing some reinforcements.”

Dude, the super fucker that was supposed to be the most super of all fuckers just got got in no time. I doubt GorillaGamer's really gonna be that much of a challenge, especially if he's still whining about Steven flipping his car and killing his wife.

“Thanks for the info.” Steven replied. “Are you and your wives joining the fight?”

“Unfortunately, we can’t. Turns out that a lot of the American Police were either Trump Supporters, or AFTER agents. I have to stay here to assist the Democrats in exposing the corrupt officers and bring them to justice.” Gant replied.

“Ah I see.” Steven replied. “Good luck!” he then hung up the walkie talkie, as he received the co-ordinates on his phone.

"Ah, I should've known that the Project AFTER HQ would be located at 69,69."

“Come on everyone, let’s rally up some allies and meet up near Project AFTER’s Headquarters.” Draconia called out, as the rebels left the Battle Fortress.

Long live the Soviet Union!

👌🏾🅰️ 🆖 〰️🅰️ 〰️ 💪🏾🅰️ 🆖

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Post #173

I have risen...

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post Jul 16 2017, 11:06 AM
Huh. So I live once more and get to have a happy ending. You know, I'd be glad, except I have to live in a world where Steven is canoodling around with blood on his hands and I still smell the repugnant stench of him resurrecting me just to look good. Imagine what would happen if Gant (my avatar in this trainwreck) got wind that Ronald Gump was led to his death by him for the sake of a scapegoat. As a guy with autism and seeing how a mentally disabled muppet was taken advantage of, I would be a WHOLE lot less forgiving.

Still, don't give up, pals! We're nearing the end of this!


The mistakes I see in this this work are to be pointed out so they may not be repeated.
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Post #174

Shillin' Best Girl from Fire Emblem: Echoes

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post Jul 17 2017, 07:25 PM
Well…those four chapters were something special. We had ConcernedGavin bite the dust after attempting to fill up Nino with his hot cock broth, via his autism grenade. We had MasterGant get his Blackwings creamed by Steven, and was subsequently rewarded a harem of pretty pegasai knights before being shot by the hypocritical protagonist, and shifted the blame on the seemingly innocent Ronald Grump. Then we saw the demise of Dashguy von Karma-Panik, after learning that Steven has bullshit reviving powers and learning that Ronald Grump was secretly an assassin hired by the former. Oh and Kizami and Officer Giraffe died as well, but what was the point in them to begin with? Finally, we had Chapter 42, where 1/3 was spent fixing up Steven’s mistake, 1/3 dedicated to recalling the previous three chapters, and 1/3 dedicated to the most disappointing battle in the fic. Fitting since it featured a converted Dominator…

This chapter on the other hand, blows those four right out the water. I’m talking a retcon so stupid, so asinine that it not only fucks up this story, but the FWT fic as well, it’s that bad. So let’s dive into the worst chapter of this fic, where I finally bite the dust.

Chapter 43: Requiesce in pace, my friend

Project AFTER Headquarters

The rebels had finally arrived at Project AFTER’s enormous HQ, where they had orchestrated all of the pain and suffering that they inflicted onto the world. This was it, the final battle against the greatest enemy mankind has ever faced.

Eat your heart out Hitler! I’m humanity’s greatest enemy!

“I can’t believe it…we’re finally here. Project AFTER’s Headquarters.” Lunar Priestess commented.

“We lost a lot of our friends in the war against AFTER. Now it’s time to make sure their sacrifices weren’t in vein.” Aurora Blade added.

Even though the only one of your friends who got killed by Project AFTER was Paul the Suicide Bomber. And he chose to put on the vest.

“Indeed, but we cannot just barge in immediately. We need to wait for our reinforcements.” Draconia informed the group, as they waited outside for their support. It wasn’t long before Tatsumi and Esdeath arrived on scene.

“Hey guys! It’s nice to see you all again.” Tatsumi greeted the rebels.

“Tatsumi, Esdeath.” Steven called out. “It’s nice to see you two helping us.”

“We were in the area at the time. And besides, you know I wouldn’t miss a chance to crush some weaklings.” Esdeath smirked, crossing her arms.

How ironic that Tatsumi and Esdeath make an appearance in the worst three chapters of this fic; 9, 28 and now 43. I wonder if it’s all just a coincidence, or the authors are trying to say something…

“Well we’re glad you here to help us. As you can see, we’re finally confronting GorillaGamer once and for all.” Aurora Blade commented. “Luckily for us, we managed to gather some support.”

It was then that the next wave of reinforcements arrived. Coming in on an all too familiar Pegasus were the three Princesses of Magvel; Eirika, Tana and L’Arachel.

“Salutations comrades! I’m here to end the evildoers once and for all.” L’Arachel hopped off the Pegasus and declared.

I’m sure you and your lovely companions can sort out an agreement with me…in my pants.

“Easy there now, we don’t want to tire ourselves out before the battle.” Eirika told her fellow comrade. “Greetings my friends, we’ve come to assist you.”

“Yeah, we won’t let the bad guys get away!” Tana cheered.

“Eirika, Tana, L’Arachel. It’s so good to see you again.” Steven smiled. “We’re glad you’re here to help us.”

“And we’re glad to see our handsome young man again.” Tana smiled, as she noticed Ryoko. “Oh my…is she your girlfriend?”

“Wha-wha? I’m just his friend!” Ryoko blurted, her face blushing like crazy.

“You’re a lucky girl Ryoko. Steven will definitely make you feel good.” Eirika replied, causing Steven and Ryoko to blush madly.

And Eirika’s not the least bit pissed off that Steven dumped her after blowing his load in her twice. Why am I not surprised?

“Hey there. It’s never a tea party without yours truly!” L’Arachel called out loud. A minute later, the last re-enforcements arrived, as the Hoshidian and Nohrian royal families. Elise and Sakura ran up to their siblings and cuddled up to them.

“Elise! It’s a relief that you’re alright.” Xander comforted his little sister.

“Uh-huh, it’s good to fight by your side again.” Elise replied.

“I knew you were reliable, but to bring the enemy to their knees so quickly, that takes a lot of strength and determination.” Ryoma praised the Ivalician Rebellion.

And a lot of rage boosts. Don’t think I forgot about that little thing…

“Indeed, and it wouldn’t have been possible, were it not for the excellent leadership of Steven.” Sakura added.

“Awwww, you’re all making me blush…” Steven said sheepishly, before clearing his throat. “Alright everyone, we’re going to storm the fortress. Take out any Project AFTER soldier that you can find. And as for GorillaGamer…we’ll need to work together to take him down.”

Keep an eye on this statement for me, it’ll become important later on in the fic…

“In that case, it’s time we finished Project AFTER once and for all!” Draconia declared, as the heroes stormed the base. The base was absolutely swarming with Project AFTER agents, all of them leering and chuckling at the heroes.

What’s this? None of the AFTER agents are talking about grabbing someone by the pussy? What kind of sorcery is this?

However the heroes weren’t intimidated by the agents’ pitiful display and proceeded to massacre the enemy. The melee heroes immediately charged at the enemy and slaughtered the agents with their swords, lances, and other melee weapons, with Aya using her chainsaw to dismember the enemies.

Nice to see the authors remember that Aya wielded a chainsaw in the game she came from. It’s too little too late, but whatever.

Meanwhile, the ranged heroes were bombarding the enemy agents with their bows, spells, and firearms, with the AFTER agents dropping like flies, with the support heroes, offering their support to the attacking heroes.

“Heh, and I came her expecting a challenge. Talk about a disappointment…” Esdeath commented. “Hopefully the enemy aren’t done yet.”

It looked like she got her wish, as another large swarm of agents charged onto the battlefield and began leering and chuckling at the heroes. However the heroes weren’t intimidated by the agents’ pitiful display and proceeded to massacre the enemy. The melee heroes immediately charged at the enemy and slaughtered the agents with their swords, lances, and other melee weapons, with Aya using her chainsaw to dismember the enemies. Meanwhile, the ranged heroes were bombarding the enemy agents with their bows, spells, and firearms, with the AFTER agents dropping like flies, with the support heroes, offering their support to the attacking heroes.

Wait, this is the same battle copy-pasted. Are the authors seriously falling back on laziness in the climactic chapter of their experiment in insanity?

“How many of them are there?” Billy asked. “Do they still have re-enforcements?”

It looked like she got her answer, as another large swarm of agents charged onto the battlefield and began leering and chuckling at the heroes. However the heroes weren’t intimidated by the agents’ pitiful display and proceeded to massacre the enemy. The melee heroes immediately charged at the enemy and slaughtered the agents with their swords, lances, and other melee weapons, with Aya using her chainsaw to dismember the enemies. Meanwhile, the ranged heroes were bombarding the enemy agents with their bows, spells, and firearms, with the AFTER agents dropping like flies, with the support heroes, offering their support to the attacking heroes.

Jesus Christ, this is absolutely shameful! And once again, the enemy does nothing but stand round and wait their turn to get slaughtered.

“Can they just give up already?!” Tana requested. “Hopefully they stop sending re-enforcements.”

Thankfully for her and the rest of the heroes, the last swarm of agents charged onto the battlefield and began leering and chuckling at the heroes. However the heroes weren’t intimidated by the agents’ pitiful display and proceeded to massacre the enemy. The melee heroes immediately charged at the enemy and slaughtered the agents with their swords, lances, and other melee weapons, with Aya using her chainsaw to dismember the enemies. Meanwhile, the ranged heroes were bombarding the enemy agents with their bows, spells, and firearms, with the AFTER agents dropping like flies, with the support heroes, offering their support to the attacking heroes. At last, all of the agents were slain.


And I thought the fight with Dashguy von Karma-Panik was lazy, this puts that to shame since as least Dashguy actually did something.

“Finally! I was getting sick of those creeps!” Crimson Rose sighed in relief.

“So now what do we do?” Nino asked.

“We should continue delving further into the facility. That should be where GorillaGamer is hiding.” Steven informed the group, as they pressed on deeper into the large fortress. After a few minutes running through the hallways, slaughtering any agent they find, the rebels came across a large room with two portals. On the back wall was a sign that had an arrow pointing to the right, as well as the message ‘Steven only’

“It seems that GorillaGamer wants to separate you from us Steven.” Lilina commented. “I wonder why…”

“Seems like GorillaGamer wants to have a one-on-one battle with him…not that I’m opposed to it.” Steven replied.

And as for GorillaGamer…we’ll need to work together to take him down.

What happened to working together, you dipshit?

“If that’s the case, then stay safe Steven. We’ll go through the other portal.” Draconia told him, as the group went to the left portal, with Steven going through the right portal.

Project AFTER Throne Room

Steven was walking through the corridor, when he stumbled upon a large throne room. It was absolutely massive, with several torches lining the wall, as well as a large TV on the wall to the side of the room entrance. Opposite the TV wall was the large throne made out of solid gold, and was decorated with every kind of valuable jewel and crystal you can think of. Standing in the middle of the room, wearing a large set of durable armor, and a fur cape was GorillaGamer.

Damn, my crib is pimped out! I like it.

*insert Undertale: Bergentruckung here*

Uhh, why? I mean I like the Undertale soundtrack, but I wouldn’t say it represents me. What ever happened to your Sabaton-fixation from earlier?

“So Steven…it’s finally come to this.” GorillaGamer said, not turning to face him.

“I’ve been wanting to take you down for a long time now, but now all of a sudden I’m getting cold feet.” Steven replied.

“Yeah…we were friend back then.” GorillaGamer replied, as he turned around and stared at the young man. “Right until you ruined my life.”

“What do you mean?!” Steven blurted.

“You took my precious little Peri away from me!” GorillaGamer answered, hiding his anger. “We were about get married.”

And I’m still salty about Peri’s death…

Wait a minute, if Steven has his reviving powers, then why didn’t he resurrect Peri? This entire mess wouldn’t have happened, had Steven used his powers back then.

“I know, and I’m sorry about it. It was an honest accident.” Steven repented for his sins. However GorillaGamer began glaring at the young man.

“Bullshit it was an accident! You ruined my life on purpose!” he growled.

“If anyone’s ruining lives, it’s you!” Steven retorted, fury in his voice. “You murdered my parents, took away my friends, and hurt countless others!” It was then that Steven saw a flash of what looked like a demon in GorillaGamer’s eyes. “You’re not human, are you?”

“What kind of a dumb question is that?! Of course I’m human!” GorillaGamer retorted, as he whipped out his large lance from his fur cape. “Now come at me!”

*Steven pulls down his pants and begins masturbating*

“That’s not what I meant when I said come at me!”

“Gladly!” Steven replied, as he unsheathed his sword.

*Music ends here*

With the rest of the rebels

The group had arrived at this large room, with more than enough seats for them all to sit down and watch the large TV.

“Hey, a TV!” Winda pointed out.

“What is it airing?” Shadow Stalker asked, as it showed Steven confront GorillaGamer. “Everyone, it’s Steven! He’s fighting GorillaGamer on his own.” Everyone proceeded to sit down and watch the TV.

Thank fuck it isn’t a repeat of Chapter 19. At least the authors haven’t copy-pasted that chapter.

Luckily, that can hear everything that’s going on.

“What should we do?” Aurora Blade asked.

“All we can do is pray for Steven’s victory…” Draconia replied.

Back to Steven

*Insert Undertale: ASGORE here*

Who the hell is Asgore? Hold on a minute…

*intense research session*

Apparently, Asgore is the reigning monarch of the land in which the main events of the game take place. Why the authors would attempt to depict me as him is a complete mystery.

GorillaGamer twirled the lance around in his hands and pointed the sharp tip at Steven, who charged at GorillaGamer and began swinging his sword wildly at the taller man. GorillaGamer blocked the attack and thrusted the lance at Steven, whom narrowly dodged the otherwise fatal attack. Steven then attempted to charge at GorillaGamer again and slay the imposing foe, only to have GorillaGamer block the attack and kick Steven in the gut.

“Is that all you got?” GorillaGamer inquired. “Because it’s rather disappointing…”

“Now let me talk about all the things that I’ll do to your little sisters. That way you’ll get the rage boost you need to defeat me. Aren’t I a gentleman?”

“Grrrr, I’ll show you disappointing!” Steven called out, as he charged at the man and swung his sword, inflicting a cut on GorillaGamer’s arm.

“Ah! You grazed my arm. I’ll make you pay!” GorillaGamer growled, as he charged at Steven and repeatedly attempted to thrust his lance into the young man. Steven dodged the barrage, and charged at GorillaGamer, as he unleashed a frenzy of sword slashes, inflicting several small cuts on GorillaGamer’s body and arms. However GorillaGamer thrusted his lace again, impaling the young man in the stomach. Steven gasped as he stepped back a few feet and fell to the ground.

*end music here*

“HAHAHAHAH!” GorillaGamer laughed evilly. “Even after destroying the organisation I worked so hard to create, you still can’t beat me.”

It’s official, I’m the greatest motherfucker in this fic!

“Argh…” Steven weakly growled.

“I would end you here and now, but I will watch you squirm in agony from my throne.” GorillaGamer grinned. “Makes the suffering last longer.” The rebels were horrified by what they saw.

Why would I not kill him right now? I get wallowing in the suffering of the person who killed my wife, but surely there’s an exception to the rule.

“This can’t be!” Crimson Rose gasped. “Steven cannot lose!”

“I knew GorillaGamer was powerful…but I never anticipated him to be this powerful.” Xander commented.

“Tell me about it, I had an encounter with that psychopath. I nearly got killed.” Esdeath added.

Yeah, I totally wrecked your shit. Strongest character in Akame ga Kill my ass…

“It’s almost like he’s not human…” Ryoma mused to himself.

“BIG BROTHER!” Steven’s sisters cried out in fear, a few tears falling down their cheeks.

Hahaha! Now you’re all MY little sisters. Maybe some of the forum members can help me on how to take care of a younger sibling.

Steven attempted to get up, but failed to do so. This was it, he had failed everyone. All he could do now was await the inevitable…

Steven’s mind

Steven opened his eyes and was surprised at what he was seeing. It appears that the young man was in the realm between life and death, where people can communicate with the spirits of their loved ones, before either joining them, or re-entering the world of the living.

“Wh-where am I?” Steven asked, as he suddenly felt a pair of hands rest on his shoulders that felt rather familiar. He turned around and saw that the hands belonged to his parents, his father Maximillion, and his mother Cecelia.

And here we go, the motivational speech between the self-insert and his dead parents. Honestly, when this fic hasn’t been batshit insane, it’s awfully cliché.

“Mom! Dad! What are you doing here?” Steven blurted in shock.

“Shhh, it’s ok son. There’s no need to panic; we’ve been watching over you throughout your journey.” Pegasus attempted to calm down his son.

“I see…you must think I’m a failure…” Steven sighed sadly.

“On the contrary, we’re very proud of you. You stepped up and fought valiantly against those who wish to do harm to this world.” Cecelia praised. “And although you did a few actions that were questionable, you did everything in your power to fix the problem.”

Questionable. The events of Chapter 40 were ‘questionable’.

“Thanks mom.” Steven replied, as he was soon greeted by the spirits of his other friends.

“Hey Steven, it’s me again.” Seehan called out. “Just figured I’d check to see how things are going.”

Oh hey Seehan, how’s things going in heaven? I sure hope Fern is making your stay as miserable as possible.

“Well I got my backside handed to me by GorillaGamer, but I managed to make that traitor Fennik pay for his crimes.” Steven replied.

“That’s good to hear.” Roy smiled. “I can’t believe he would do such a thing.”

And I can’t believe that you managed to hook up with Enoshima. Turns out all of us can get surprised once in a while.

“None of us knew that Fennik was that selfish and perverted.” Steven told Roy.

“Hmmm, are you referring that kid who ratted you out to GorillaGamer?” Cecelia inquired.

“Yes mom, we’re talking about Fennik.” Steven replied, as the rest of his friends arrived.

“Oh Steven! It’s so good to see you!” Vera ran up and hugged Steven. “Well not really since you must be dying…”

“Nah, its fine Vera. I’m alright.” Steven replied returning the hug.

“Pffft, I always thought that this was only in those cheesy kids films.” Betty scoffed, before a small smile appeared on her face.

Not going to lie, that sounds like something Betty would say.

“Still though, it’s nice to see you again.”

“It’s good to see you as well.” Steven smiled.

“Is…is that horrible man gone?” Bonny asked, a little uneasy.

“Yes, Bonny. That awful man Kristoph is no longer going to hurt any more innocent people.” Steven confirmed, as a large wave of relief came over Bonny.

“Phew, that’s good to here.” She replied.

“Finally. That putrid freak is dead!” Betty grinned. “It’s about time he bit the dust.”

He’s never going to fill up Nino with his hot cock broth again…

“I can’t believe I trusted that man… I feel like such a fool.” Vera’s father, Drew sighed sadly.

“It’s ok daddy. None of us knew what a wicked man he was underneath his nice demeanour.” Vera comforted her father. Just then another figure appeared from the mist.

“Steven? Is that you?” a familiar childlike voice called out, as the person walked up to the group.

“Peri?” Steven asked, with the now named Peri flashing a smile in response. “Oh Peri, I’m so sorry for getting you killed.” The young man repented.

Peri! You’re back! Oh how I missed you.

“Teehee, no need to get all mopey. It was an accident.” Peri replied.

“Forgive me for being rude, but who are you?” Pegasus asked.

“I’m Peri. I used to be the fiancée of Jacques, before I was killed in a car accident.” Peri replied. “You may recognise him by his codename, GorillaGamer.”

“GorillaGamer?! Why would you date that psychopath?!” Seehan blurted.

“That dude is pure evil I tell you! He’ll kill you once he’s done with you.” Roy warned her.

I would never kill my sweet little Peri.

PS: Don’t tell her about what happened between me and Chiaki back on earth.

“Bu-but Jacques isn’t bad. He’s a sweet young man.” Peri protested.

“That ‘sweet young man’ is responsible for so much pain and suffering.” Steven pointed out.

“But I don’t understand why Jacques would do something like this…” Peri replied sadly.

“That’s because that man isn’t the one you call Jacques.” The gruff voice of an old man told them, as he walked up to them. The man had a small beard, wore a set of winter clothes, and had a flamethrower hanging off his back. The most notably feature was a scar that ran down the left side of his face, over his clouded left eye.

Did Byron try to skullfuck this guy as well? Who the hell is he?!

“And who are you kind sir?” Cecelia asked.

“The name’s not important.” The stranger replied. “But what is important is what happened to Jacques.”

“Why, what happened to Jacques?” Steven asked.

“That man you see isn’t Jacques. He’s been possessed by the spirit of the Wendigo.” The stranger replied.

What the fuck…? What even am I reading anymore? I’m not mad at this, all I want to know is WHY THE HELL DID THE AUTHORS TURN ME INTO A FUCKING WENDIGO?!

“And just what exactly is a Wendigo?” Pegasus asked.

“Alright then, let me explain.” The stranger began. “The Wendigo are a malicious, cannibalistic spirit that possess a human who cannibalises the flesh of another human. The Wendigo have an insatiable hunger that drives them to the brink of insanity. Several tribes of the Algonquin-speaking people viewed the Wendigo as a symbol of reckless greed, gluttony and excess, since the creatures are never satisfied.”

Yeah, that’s the gist of it. Wendigoes are a malevolent spirit in Native American folklore that has an insatiable hunger. You turn into one if you cannibalise the flesh of another human being. I know I’ve made several jokes in my mocks about getting myself some food, but I didn’t not expect the authors would use this to turn me into a Wendigo.

“Sounds rather scary!” Bonny shivered in fear, as Betty gently bumped into her.

“Calm down sis, they’re probably just an urban legend.” Betty attempted to calm her down.

“Believe me young one, the Wendigo aren’t a figment of your imagination.” The stranger replied. “My scar is proof enough.”

Nah, I still think that Byron attempted to skullfuck you.

“But neither I nor Jacques ever ate human flesh. How could he become a Wendigo?”” Peri asked.

“While Jacques was grieving over your death, a sudden burst of insanity sprang in his mind. He took a knife, cut a small piece of flesh from your back, and consumed it, allowing the Wendigo to possess him.” The stranger replied. “But that’s not the worst part…”

“Huh? What could be worse than that?” Vera inquired, a little unnerved by what she’s hearing.

“He created an online forum where Wendigo mock people’s fanfiction. What kind of monster would do that?”

Also, I love how convenient it was for the Wendigo spirit to take a holiday from North America to Ivalice, wherever the fuck it is, and coincidently stumble upon the exact hospital room where me and Peri were staying.

“The Wendigo spirit that possessed Jacques is no ordinary Wendigo, it’s the legendary Makkapitew.” The stranger replied.

“Makka-huh? What are you talking about?” Drew asked.

“The Makkapitew is the strongest, largest and most dangerous Wendigo of them all. Many Algonquin people believe that it was the first ever Wendigo spirit to exist.” The stranger replied. “I lost so many friends to the Makkapitew…”

Makkapitew? What the hell are you going on—oh no, now I finally realize. The fucking authors are ripping off the plot of Until Dawn.

Let me explain; Until Dawn is a PS4 game which revolves around a group of teenagers trapped in a resort up in the mountains and are at the mercy of a masked killer and eventually, the Wendigo. The Makkapitew is an especially powerful Wendigo in that game, and has possessed one of the characters siblings, who died on the mountain a year earlier from when the events of the game take place. The stranger is the descendant of a group of people dedicated to hunting down the Wendigo.

What I want to know is why even add that game into this crazy fic, since I don’t think any of us ever mentioned Until Dawn.

“So this Makkapitew possessed GorillaGamer and made him evil incarnate.” Steven said. “Why would it do so?”

“A better question would be why it specifically chose Jacques. It’s been centuries since the Makkapitew possessed a human.” The stranger replied.

“What can I do? I’ve already been defeated…” Steven replied sadly.

Yeah, you should have trained against something other than an immobile strawman.

“You must wake up and expose the Makkapitew for what it really is. Then you must ensure that it is defeated once and for all.” The stranger answered. “Good luck Steven…” it was then that Steven’s vision became blurry until he couldn’t see anything anymore.

Back in the real world

Steven had woken up and began staring at ‘GorillaGamer’, who was sitting on his throne. Managing to get up, Steven picked up his sword and pointed it at his enemy.

“Give it up! I know your secret.” Steven declared.

“Oh is that so?” ‘GorillaGamer smirked as he got up off his throne.

“Wait, what’s he talking about?” Rose Knight asked.

“I don’t know, but we better watch on…” Tatsumi replied.

Or, get this, you can actually get off your ass and do something.

“You possessed my mentor’s body, murdered my family and friends, and caused so much chaos in this world.” Steven declared, as he took a few steps closer.
“I shall punish you GorillaGamer, or should I say, Makkapitew?”

“What’s he talking about?” Lunar Priestess inquired.

“Makkapitew? What’s that?” Nereida asked. Just then, ‘GorillaGamer began chuckling evilly, in a laugh that sounded like death itself.

In the previous fic, I was a scythe-wielding gorilla scientist. Here I’m a Wendigo with a penchant for loli ass, and has a dragon for a steed. Hang on, what ever happened to my dragon? Since I’ve been retconned into a Wendigo, I most likely ate the poor thing.

“It’s been so long since I was referred to by my true name…” ‘GorillaGamer’ hissed, as he cast aside his lance and armour, before he shrieked out loud and began transforming his body. After a few minutes, the creature’s true hideous form was revealed.

The humanoid creature was incredibly tall, standing at ten feet high and was hunched over. It was gaunt to the point of emaciation, its desiccated skin pulled tightly over its bones. With its bones pushing out against its skin, its complexion an ash gray of death, and its eyes pushed back deep into their sockets, as well as bloody, tattered lips, it looked like a skeletal zombie and gave off an odor of decay. Its mouth was filled with lots of large, razor sharp teeth, and the creature’s fingers and toes were replaced with sharp, dagger like claws. It also had a pair of large deer antlers growing out of its head, and had a series of feathers growing on its neck that looked a lot like a frill.

DAMN! Even when I’m the personification of a malevolent, gluttonous spirit, I’m dead sexy. No wonder Peri couldn’t resist my charm.

Steven resisted the urge to start screaming; this thing was one of the most frightening sights that he’s ever seen.

“YAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!! What is that thing?!” Ryoko cried out in fear.

“I don’t know…but it’s scary…” Nino winced, as Steven’s sisters all huddled up against each other in fear.

I’m not that scary Nino. All I want to do is give you a cuddle and take you away from that awful Steven. Maybe I should feed his flesh to you, so you can become a Nino-go.

The monster than stretched its arms before taking a seat in GorillaGamer’s throne.

“Well, well, well. I’ve never expected a mortal like you to figure out my true identity. Though if I were to be discovered, it would have been at your hands…” The Makkapitew hissed, as it poured itself a glass of Coca-Cola and swirled it around in his hand.

Matt Engarde taught me well in the art of swirling a glass. May he rest in peace…

“What are you, you cursed hellspawn?!” Steven demanded, as the monster in front of him cackled wildly.

I don’t think Wendigoes are a demonic creature. I don’t know that much about Native American folklore.

“Don’t play dumb with me! You know who I am already. But for the uninitiated…” The Makkapitew gazed at the television, as if he could directly see the rebels on the other side. “I am the Makkapitew, the strongest Wendigo of them all.”

“I’m sorry. But what’s a Wendigo?” Melody inquired.

“Wendigoes are malicious, cannibalistic spirits that possess humans who commit the act of cannibalisation. The Wendigo are said to possess a never ending hunger that drives them insane.” Esdeath answered.

Lady, your tits are big enough to permanently sate a Wendigo’s hunger.

“What I would like to know is how one appeared here of all places…”

“Now then Steven. I’ll admit that you’ve managed to impress me. More than any mere mortal has.” The Makkapitew hissed, taking a small swig from its glass.

“But you’re more naïve than I expected.”

“Naïve? What do you mean?” Steven asked.

“Well for one thing you have awful skills in the bedroom. Seriously, have you taken the initiative even once?”

“Do you have any idea why I possessed the one you call Jacques? Why I did all of what I did?” The Makkapitew inquired. “It’s all a part of my master plan to punish humanity.”

“Let me guess, you’re here to punish us for all the pollution and wars we’ve caused.” Steven assumed, as The Makkapitew laughed an evil, spine-tingling laugh.

“HAHAHAHAHAHA! This is what I’m talking about, you’re not looking at the whole picture.” The Makkapitew chuckled. “Any way, my reason for punishing humanity is that they betrayed the great Law of the Jungle.”

“And that is?” Steven asked.

“Survival of the fittest.” The Makkapitew replied coldly. “A term coined up by a mortal named Charles Darwin, stating that the strong survived and prospered, while the weak died off.”

In other words, the same ideology that Esdeath salivated over in Akame ga Kill. Are the authors trying to imply that I’m just as bad as her?

“And how has humanity betrayed this ‘law’?” Steven inquired.

“You of all people should know this! Still, humans have a tendency to be unusually ignorant, so I’ll explain it to you in terms your weak little brain should understand.” The Makkapitew hissed. “For centuries humans have been asserting their dominance over the other species of this world. However, there was a problem. There were several different variants of humans, with the main difference being their skin. So the humans battled each other to find out which variant of human was the superior breed. The winner ended up being the Caucasian humans, hailing from the European countries. The world was the oyster for the rightfully proven champions of humanity, as the conquered and flaunted their superior genes to the rest of humanity.”

“So what you’re saying is that you’re a white supremacist?” Steven asked.

What the…did the authors get that wall of text off of Stormfront? Would a Wendigo even understand what white supremacy is?

“Twisting my words, are you? Let me tell you something; had the victors of the race war been the black humans from Africa, I’d be gushing about their superiority. The victors’ skin colour never mattered in the end.” The Makkapitew retorted, flinging its glass to the wall, causing the glass to shatter into small pieces.

Oh…what a waste of a perfectly good glass.

“So why has humanity failed you, if you praised their strength?” Steven asked, a little agitated over what he’s hearing.

“As time went on, the weaker races began crying over losing the war, demanding equal treatment to their conquerors. For some unfathomable reason, the whites relented and surrendered their superiority, in order to appease the losers.” The Makkapitew continued, raiding GorillaGamer’s fridge and pulling out a bucket of KFC.

At least my preferences haven’t gone away when I was corrupted by the Wendigo spirit…

“As they should. All humans deserve to be treated equally, regardless of—“Steven began.

“Silence you ignorant mortal!” The Makkapitew growled, frightening the young man. “The whites had betrayed the Law of the Jungle and are paying the price for their stupidity.”

“How so?” Steven asked.

“The failed races began demanding more and more, with the now guilt-riddled whites relenting at every order. Some groups of whites attempted to restore their well-deserved supremacy, but were betrayed by the guilt-riddled whites. Now look at the state of humanity; you’ve got the whites of America and Australia, who look and act like absolute garbage, whenever they’re not constantly apologising to the failed races for dominating them in the past. Then there’s the whites of Europe who allow the savages to murder and rape their people, while they punish other white for fighting back against this menace.” The Makkapitew droned on, occasionally stopping to eat some chicken. “It seems that I’ve learnt something from this; the black humans of Africa and the Middle East are the real superior beings of humanity.”

So I went from praising white people, to actively hating them. Have I become a Social Justice Wendigo?

“Hold the phone! You constantly referred to them as savages! You have no right to back-pedal, you monster!” Steven growled.

“AHAHAHAHAHAHA! I changed my mind after looking at the circumstances. The blacks wilfully allowed themselves to be dominated, just so that can catch the whites off guard and dominate them. What an ingenious gambit!” The Makkapitew retorted. “But I cannot call any human superior yet…”

“Why so?” Steven asked.

“Two words; video games.” The Makkapitew replied.

“Those are the most disgusting thing I have ever tasted. And I ate my mother’s cooking several times.”

“You humans are a pathetic bunch, spending more time whinging over pixels than fighting each other in the race war, to claim superiority over the masses.”

“And what’s wrong with video games?” Steven asked, as The Makkapitew laughed another spine-chilling laugh.

“You humans obsess over video games to much. Weaker humans whinge and complain about a ‘lack of diversity’, whatever that is, while other deformed humans believe that video games are real, and kill themselves recreating the actions of the pixels they idolise. And then there are those, extra pathetic humans who develop feelings for these pixels, so they remove their failed genes from the gene pool to spend the rest of their life with these pixels.” The Makkapitew chuckled, eating some more chicken.

Hey now, you will not knock back the love that Chiaki could give you. Also, since Peri is a video game character, what does that say about you?

“But I can’t hate video games too much; after all, they are a key role in my grand scheme.”

“What grand scheme? All you’ve been saying so far is nonsensical bullshit.” Steven snapped.

“Hush, mortal! You should be honoured that I’m telling you my grand scheme.” The Makkapitew retorted. “Anyway, after realising that the white humans aren’t as superior as I first thought, I managed to find that mortal you call Jacques, cannibalise a piece of human flesh, enabling me to possess him. I then managed to make alliances with several, pathetic mortals to create Project AFTER, an organisation that would be the spearhead for my goal. However the leader ended up being useless, so I revolted alongside my loyal servants. Once the revolt had succeeded, I allowed the mortal named Alex to assume leadership, while I pulled all the strings in the shadows. Shortly after, I met a rather deformed human who had a dream to ‘Make America Great Again’, not that to was great to begin with.”

“Donald Trump?” Steven asked.

Hold the phone, not only did Wendigo-GorillaGamer create the original Project AFTER, but he was responsible for getting Donald Trump elected?

“Yes, I do believe the mortal went by that stupid name.” The Makkapitew answered. “Any way, the next part was to contact the Demon King, and have him invade the Kingdom of Ivalice. It was rather easy to manipulate that fool, by promising him power and wealth beyond his wildest dreams. The next part was to invade Ivalice and infiltrate the temple you call the Sadler Watchtower, and claim its secrets for myself. Once I had done so, I shall then summon forth my army of Wendigo and conquer the world, establishing OUR superiority.”

And I even convinced the Demon King to begin his invasion. The authors made me the Big Bad of this entire shit show. Next they’ll be telling me that I was responsible for creating Nazi Germany alongside Hitler. Hell, they could make me responsible for every bad thing that has happened in humanities history, all for the sole purpose of having the world be ruled by Wendigo.

It’s hilarious, in a pathetic sort of way.

“You’re a sick, twisted monster you know that?” Steven spat out in disgust.

“Hah! Your words don’t affect me.” The Makkapitew grinned, showing off all of its sharp teeth. “Now since you’ve impressed me, I’ll give you the privilege of being my victory meal, once I conquer the world.”

Surely I can do better than eat this whiny hypocrite.

“There’s no way that I’ll let you win!” Steven declared.

“You can do it brother!” Steven’s sisters supported him, attracting the interest of The Makkapitew.

“Say, Steven. Who are those shrill sounding mortals in that room?” The Makkapitew asked, pointing to the room where the rebels were watching this all unfold.

“They’re my sisters, and I love them with all my heart.” Steven answered.

“Well they’re my sisters now, chump!”

“Sisters, eh? Alright then, a new plan. Once I defeat you and conquer the world, I shall use you and your sisters as a feast for me and the Elder Wendigo Council.” The Makkapitew hissed. “It’s been a while since I last had a feast with my trusted council.”

Elder Wendigo Council? I don’t recall that being a thing in Until Dawn. Does that mean that all of us are some part of secret underground cult where all the members are Wendigo?

“You will not harm my sisters!” Steven roared, pointing his sword at the monster.

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You pathetic mortal! Did I, shall I say, trigger you?” The Makkapitew jeered. “Perhaps I and the council members will have some fun with them before killing them…”

I call dibs on Clair! And Celica as well. The rest of you get to pick from the remaining twelve sisters.

Steven was beyond livid, as he began charging his rage. "Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrra aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaah hhhhhhhhhhhhh!" he screamed at the top of his lungs.

“And just what are you doing, mortal?” The Makkapitew inquired, bemused by the pitiful spectacle.

You got to love how I don’t even give a shit about Steven’s pissy little rage boost. Why the authors changed him from a skilled swordsman to the main protagonist of some shitty Shonen anime, I have no idea.

Also, didn’t I call this earlier in this exact chapter?

“Your disgusting comment gave me the rage boost that I needed.” Steven answered, his body charging with energy. “Now I will defeat you, Makkapitew!”

“You’re an absolute riot Steven! Do you think your pitiful ‘rage boost’ can defeat me? I am the strongest Wendigo of them all!” The Makkapitew declared, hopping of its throne and landing a few feet in front of Steven. “Time for you to die!”

Have I mentioned that I’m the best character in this fic?


The Makkapitew raised its right arm into the air and attempted to cave in Steven’s face with a powerful swipe from its claws. Steven managed to block the attack with his shield, but was pushed a few feet back. Steven then charged at his foe and swung his sword sideways, inflicting a barely noticeable cut on the Makkapitew’s torso. The monster retorted by delivering a powerful back hand, sending Steven flying a few feet backwards.

Steven then got up and charged again at his foe, dodging the incoming swipes, and attempting to stab his foe. However, The Makkapitew jumped back to dodge the attack and charged at Steven at lighting fast speeds, in an attempt to gore Steven with its antlers. Steven barely dodged the attack and slashed down, inflicting another small scratch on the Makkapitew’s back.

Steven then held his shield up, and attempted at shield bash his foe. However, The Makkapitew saw this and hoisted Steven up off the ground, before flinging him across the room, causing him to crash into the throne.

Dammit GorillaGamer! You’re not supposed to break the throne!

“ARGH!” Steven cried out in pain, as his stomach wound reopened, causing fresh blood to pool out of his wound.

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! What a disappointment. I was hoping that you’ll offer a challenge this time, but you’re a white human. And as history has shown, you’re an inferior breed.” The Makkapitew hissed, as it made its way towards the weakened Steven. The young man groaned, as he struggled to get up. This time, he had failed for sure. The world would become nothing but the plaything of this demented creature.

Eh, it won’t be that bad. I’ll just ask the populace to build a statue of me in every capital city.

It was while he turned over and awaited the inevitable, that he saw something peculiar, a lit torch resting in the rubble. Steven spotted the flamethrower on the strangers back; was that how he dealt with the Wendigo? If so, then would it work on one as powerful as the Makkapitew? Steven hand no other choice; he wrapped some oily cloth around his sword and lit the cloth alight using the torch. The Makkapitew loomed over Steven, ready to land the killing blow, when Steven got up and slashed the Makkapitew with his fire sword, inflicting a much large wound on the monster.

“AHHHHHH!” The Makkapitew screeched a horrific screech. “Fire; how do you know my weakness?”

Having Wendigoes be weak to fire is a thing in Until Dawn, as it was the primary way to deal with them in game. What I want to know is why would I keep several torches in my throne room, that could be used against me.

“I met a stranger who told me about you.” Steven retorted, as he got up.

“So…even from beyond the grave, he manages to get in my way…” The Makkapitew hissed, narrowing its eyes. “I shall kill you and make you join him!”

“In your dreams!” Steven retorted. “Now come at me!”

The Makkapitew growled and attempted to slash Steven with its left arm.

Claws would have been a better way to slash Steven, but what do I know?

However Steven dodged the attack and slashed at it, severing the creature’s clawed hand and causing it to be set alight.

“MY HAND! I SHALL EAT YOU ALIVE, YOU WRETCHED MORTAL!” The Makkapitew bellowed, as it attempted to slash the young man with its other hand. Steven dodged the attack and severed the monsters other hand off, causing the monster to stagger back due to blood loss. The Makkapitew then knelt briefly, before collapsing onto its back.

“No…this cannot be.” The Makkapitew hissed. “How can I lose to an inferior human like you?”

“There’s no such thing as an inferior human.” Steven replied, as he walked over to his fallen foe.

I beg to differ. Does the name Chris-Chan ring a bell?

“Now burn in hell you cursed piece of shit!”

Steven plunged his fire sword into the Makkapitew’s chest, where it’s heart would be, causing the creature to be completely set on fire. The creature shrieked in pain, as it was consumed by the fire, before it’s body exploded, sending Steven hurtling towards the wall and causing him to faint.

And I go out in the same way that Paul did. How amusing…

Steven’s dream

Steven was back into the dream realm again, and saw all of his friends again, but with one extra person in tow.

“Gorilla—Jacques…” Steven called out, surprised at seeing the person who he thought was his enemy.

“Steven…” Jacques replied. “I am so sorry for all the misery that monster committed in my body. If only I hadn’t of done what I did…”

Eat Peri’s flesh? That’s not the way I’ll eat her out…

“No need to apologise my friend, you were control against your will. Your spirit, a prisoner in its own body.” Steven replied.

“Oh Jacques!” Peri smiled, nuzzling up to him. “I missed you so much.”

“As did I, my sweet little cupcake.” Jacques nuzzled back.

That reminds me, I feel like some food now. Don’t know what I feel like in particular, but whatever.

“Congratulations man, you finally defeated Project AFTER!” Seehan praised. “It took a long time, but you did it.”

“You’re one of humanities greatest heroes!” Roy cheered. “Your heroism will live on forever.”

“Yay! You’re the best Steven!” Bonny smiled.

“I’m not one for praising other people, but I’ll admit it was pretty cool to see you defeat that freaky monster.” Betty admitted.

“Oh Steven.” Vera cuddled up to him. “Even with the odds against you, you stood strong and surpassed your enemy.”

“You refused to give into to that vile creatures hateful beliefs. You really are a commendable young gentleman.” Drew told him.

Yeah, Steven really showed that Stormfront Wendigo, who eventually dabbled into Social Justice.

“At long last, The Makkapitew shall no longer inflict misery among humanity…” the stranger commented. “I thank you, young Steven.”

“I couldn’t be any more proud of my special young man.” Cecelia smiled at Steven.

“You succeeded because you fought for what you believed was right, as opposed to how that monster fought for its selfish desires.” Pegasus added.

Well when a Wendigo’s been driven to insanity due to it’s insatiable hunger, you can’t blame if for acting on it’s self-interests.

“Thanks everyone…I really mean it.” Steven smiled.

“Even with Project AFTER defeated, there’s still those that wish the world harm. Namely Princess Lizeea and the Demon King. So you can’t leave your friends on Earth right now.” Cecelia reminded the young man.

What threat would they be anyway? I was the most threatening enemy, and I lost due to my suicidal stupidity.

“Bu-but what about you? I don’t want to leave you yet!” Steven called out.

“Hahaha. We’ll meet again when it’s your time.” Pegasus chuckled lightly. “But you’ve got a long life to live. I wouldn’t want to deprive you of that.” Steven’s vision then became blurry, until he couldn’t see a thing.

Back in the real world

Steven managed to open his eyes, when he saw that he was surrounded by the rebels, who had finished patching him up.

“Uhh, hi guys…” Steven laughed sheepishly, as he was bombarded by his sisters.

“Big brother!” They all cheered, hugging him tightly. “You did it!”

Causing his stomach wound to open again which resulted in him bleeding to death.

“We did it. I wouldn’t have made it this far, were it not for you all…” Steven hugged his sisters back.

“I…I was scared of that scary monster…” Billy winced, a few tears falling down her cheek.

“We all were Billy, but we believed in big brother, and he won in the end.” Aya replied, wiping a few tears from her cheeks.

“Well I’ll be. You managed to impress me. That’s not as easy as it sounds.” Esdeath commented, a small smile on her face.

Oh shut up you insolent trollop! This is all your fault you know!

“Yeah, talk about a close battle!” Tatsumi added.

“I can’t wait to tell Ephraim about your bravery today.” Eirika gushed. “Perhaps he might challenge you to a sparring match someday.”

“Yeah! Now that’s the Steven I know!” Tana cheered.

“Your divine strength defeated that wicked creature for good!” L’Arachel smiled. “Shall we celebrate with a tea party?”

“As much as I would like to, I’m exhausted after all that fighting today.” Xander commented.

“Yes, we need to rest up before returning home.” Ryoma added. “May I suggest we use the beds that our guests left for us in their kindness?”

“A fine idea.” Steven replied. “I’m quite exhausted.” The rebels then dispersed to their temporary bedrooms.


Fucking great, there’s a lemon in this chapter as well. Haven’t I already suffered enough?

Steven was about to tuck himself into bed, when there was a knock on the door. Steven allowed the person to come in, and was surprised when he saw that it was Ryoko.

“Ryoko…” Steven replied.

“Steven…may I cuddle up to you tonight?” she requested.

“Ahh, sure thing Ryoko.” Steven blurted, as he began blushing when the girl tucked herself in alongside Steven.

“Steven…you were rather brave today.” Ryoko smiled. “Just like when you confronted Matsuda-kun…”

The difference was that Yasuke was an ordinary human, and not a malevolent, gluttonous spirit. Wait a minute if I was a Wendigo, then does that make Yasuke one as well?

“Ryoko, I’m sorry for killing him. I knew you loved him, despite never showing those feelings back.” Steven apologised.

“It’s ok Steven, I realised that he was using me to fulfil his desires…” Ryoko replied.

“So what do you want to do?” Steven asked, as Ryoko began kissing Steven on the lips. A few seconds later, the two separated.

“We can have some fun, without worrying about Matsuda.” Ryoko suggested, causing Steven to blush profusely.

“Ar-are you sure you really want this?!” Steven stammered.


“Of course Steven-kun, I’ve been wanting to do this with you for some time now…” Ryoko answered.

Lemon time everyone

And this is the second Eirika lemon, but with Ryoko’s name added in. Why am I not shocked? Well two can play at the copy-paste game, I’ll just reuse my jokes from that lemon, and put them in here.

Ryoko and Steven locked lips with one another, and began to cuddle each other. Their tongues danced in each other’s mouths, and they rubbed each other’s backs in the process. Steven cupped Ryoko’s flawless face and stared into her eyes deeply.

“Oh Ryoko…you are as beautiful as when I first saw you.” Steven sighed.

“Why thank you, sweetheart.” Ryoko smiled back, as the two continued to kiss each other passionately.

And we begin with the usual routine of back rubbing. Classic Soviet lemon we have here.

After a few minutes, Ryoko broke off the kiss and began to remove her school jacket and undershirt, revealing her large, round and sag less breasts, covered by a red lace bra.

“Oh wow…” Steven began to sweat a bit.

“Teehee, getting cold feet? You know we’re only starting…” Ryoko purred, as she removed her bra, allowing her perky nipples to stand out. Steven lowered his head and began to gently lick her right nipple, while cupping her left breast, eliciting a moan from Ryoko.

“O-oh my!” Ryoko gasped. “You’d gotten better at this, haven’t you?”

Well when Steven’s been depicted as the perfect lover since the beginning, how can he get better?

“I aim to please, my lady.” Steven replied, as he continued to suckle on Ryoko’s nipple, eliciting a moan from the young woman. After a few minutes, Steven switched sides, suckling on Ryoko’s left nipple, and cupping her right breast. Ryoko moaned fairly loudly, her body enjoying every ounce of pleasure it was receiving. After a few more minutes, Ryoko moaned loudly, indicating that she had came.

“Wow, that felt so good.” Ryoko sighed, as Steven moved away from her flawless body. “Now it’s time for me to make you feel good…” Ryoko proceeded to pull down Steven’s pants and underwear, exposing his throbbing member to the world.

Causing everyone within a 10-mile radius to go blind.

Ryoko then proceeded to slowly stroke Steven’s member, and gently licked his head.

“Oh wow!” Steven cried out, as his body was wracked by a blissful sensation. “This feels so wonderful.”

“Teehee, I knew you’d like this.” Ryoko smiled as she ceased licking his member. “And I’ll know you’ll enjoy this even more.” The young woman then engulfed the hardened penis into her mouth and began to slowly suck on it. Steven moaned as he received a blowjob from Ryoko, her tongue gliding up and down Steven’s shaft. The young man moaned, as his body was quivering with pleasure. A few minutes later, Ryoko ceased sucking on Steven’s member.

“Is-is everything alright?” Steven asked.

“Yes Steven, I just figured I’ll give you something extra special…”Ryoko purred, as she wrapped her large breasts around Steven’s member, and began rubbing them up and down his penis, eliciting a loud moan from Steven.

Well this is new. Guess SovietAzerbaijanMan was behind this chapter.

“Oh-oh my goodness!” Steven cried out loud. “This feels absolutely amazing!”

“Teehee, I knew you’ll like it.” Ryoko smiled, as she began licking the tip of Steven’s head, every time it emerged from between her breasts. After a few minutes, Ryoko began to pick up some speed on her rubbing, causing Steven to moan louder, the young man’s body wracked with an amazing pleasure. A few minutes later, a tingling feeling coursed through Steven’s body, indicating that he was ready.

“Ah, Ryoko! I’m about to cum!” Steven cried out, as he came all over Ryoko’s face and breasts. “Ah, I’m so sorry.” He apologised.

I believe I said this before, but SovietRussiaMan must get off on blowing his load all over the face of Danganronpa characters.

“It’s alright. It’s better than choking on it.” Ryoko replied, wiping off the sperm with a tissue before throwing it in the bin. “Now it’s my turn again~” she smiled, as she lowered her skirt and tossed it aside, revealing her gloriously plump backside, covered by a pair of red lace panties.

“A-Ah!” Steven cried out, a blush appearing on his face.

“Won’t you do me a favour and do something that Matsuda never did to me?” Ryoko fluttered her eyes, as she turned around and got on her hands and knees, and gently shook her backside. Steven immediately took the initiative and lowered her moist panties, before plunging two of his fingers into Ryoko’s sweet pussy.

Sweet Pussy Counter: 27

“O-Oh!” Ryoko gasped out in bliss. “Please go a bit harder.”

“As you wish, my lady.” Steven replied, as he picked up the pace of his fingering, eliciting a loud moan from Ryoko. After a few minutes, Steven ceased his fingering and moved in closer to Ryoko, before he proceeded to lick her sweet spot, his tongue brushing up against her clitoris. Ryoko moaned loudly, her body enjoying the sensation of getting licked. Steven then picked up the pace of his licked, while brushing the tip of his thumb against her hardened clitoris.

“Oh yes, please don’t stop!” Ryoko begged, her body wracked with pleasure. After a few more minutes of licking, Ryoko moaned loudly, cumming all over Steven’s face.

Now Steven knew what Melody meant when she was talking about water sports.

The young man wiped the sexual fluids off his face, before reaching into his bag for his condoms. He took one out and opened the packet, placing the condom over his erect penis. Steven then lied on his back, giving Ryoko an opportunity to straddle the young man.

“Ryoko, before we begin, are you sure you want to do this?” Steven double checked.

She sucked your dick mate, of course she wants to do this. Don’t know why though.

“Oh Steven, if I didn’t want to do this, then we wouldn’t have gone this far.” Ryoko replied, as she slowly inserted Steven’s penis into her vagina. The young man then began gently thrusting into her, eliciting a moan from Ryoko.

“O-Oh yes!” Ryoko moaned, her body shivering with bliss. “You feel so good inside me.”

“Well I’m glad I can make you happy.” Steven quipped, as he began to gently cup Ryoko’s breasts and tweak her nipples. Ryoko gasped as another wave of pleasure rocked her body, her firm nipples getting tweaked by Steven’s soft fingers. After a few minutes, Steven began to pick up the pace, the young man moaning as his bock was getting rocked by an unimaginable wave of pleasure. After a few more minutes, a familiar tingling sensation rocked both their bodies.

“Oh Steven, I’m about to…” Ryoko began.

“M-Me too…” Steven replied, as both of them moaned loudly, as they came at the same time. Ryoko hopped off of Steven and laid down on the bed, as Steven removed his condom and discarded it. The young man then laid down on the bed, as Ryoko cuddled up to him.

“That was amazing…” she sighed, as the both of them drifted off to sleep shortly afterwards.

Lemon over

Well there’s my bit of intentional laziness over and done with. Now to finish off this—


The mysterious king was talking to three hooded figures, their faces covered by the darkness.

Great, I forgot about this tosser.

“Sir! We’ve received reports that GorillaGamer has been slain by the rebels.” The first hooded figure reported.

“I see…such a shame. He was a promising young man.” The king replied.

“Furthermore, both Lizeea and the Demon King have been severely weakened. They’re destined to fall very soon.” The second hooded figure added.

“Hmph! It’s about time those fools bite the dust.” The kind commented.

The kind king didn’t say a very kind thing about Lizeea and the Demon King.

“What do you want us to do, your majesty?” The third hooded figure asked.

“We make our way to Ivalice and begin our conquest! Soon the world shall fall to our might!” The king grinned evilly. “And I shall defeat Steven once and for all…”

And finally, this chapter ends. It out does Chapter 18 as the longest chapter in this fic. ConcernedGamer has the next chapter, and he’ll be pleased to know that we’ll finally learn the identity of the mysterious king. Whoever he is, I doubt it’ll be as stupid as retconning me into a Wendigo.

List of mocks can be found here: Here

QUOTE (AnItalianGuy @ May 27 2016, 02:03 AM) *
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
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Post #175

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post Jul 17 2017, 07:57 PM
“You humans are a pathetic bunch, spending more time whinging over pixels than fighting each other in the race war, to claim superiority over the masses.”

It's like an anti-video game after school special that diverted very strangely into racial hate propaganda.

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Post #176

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post Jul 18 2017, 04:08 AM
So you were possesed by an evil spirit all this time, GorillaGamer?

And without its influence you're actually a nice guy?

I can't tell if the author hates you or has a boner for you.

Maybe both.
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Post #177

I'm very concerned.

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post Jul 19 2017, 02:31 AM
Well, wasn’t that fun? I guess now we can finally have some peace and quiet and – what was that? There’s more? But, aren’t we all dead? Oh, fine. Since I’ve volunteered for another chapter of this mess, let’s get ever so closer to that feeling of elation from seeing this thing finished. Let’s not keep it waiting.

Previously, Steven and the rebels invaded Project AFTER’s headquarters and confronted GorillaGamer, who was actually an evil Wendigo known as The Makkapitew.

And that plot point has got to be the literal embodiment of this fanfic’s dooming bait and switch payoff hubris. No villain in this fanfic can be actual tragic human beings, only completely ridiculously demonized people, video game villains, or actual demons. It’s almost like defeating a forum of fanfic mockers is such a pathetic attempt at chest pounding, that we have to be everything but exactly that, in order for them to feel any accomplishment in this self-defeating endeavor.

Steven defeated his wicked foe and put an end to Project AFTER once and for all.

Oh, I’m sure we must have some goons leering and chuckling somewhere, next time you do a copy-pasted scene.

Chapter 44: A new threat

Project AFTER Headquarters

Steven and Ryoko were sleeping peacefully in the bed, until they were abruptly woken up by a few of the rebels.

Privacy is for non-communists, apparently.

“Rise and shine, lovebirds!” Rose Knight chimed. “You missed the farewell party.”

“Eh? What farewell party?” Ryoko asked groggily, rubbing her eyes.

“While you two were sleeping, our re-enforcements had departed and returned back to where they came from. However, Elise and Sakura decided to stay behind for a little longer.” Rose Knight continued.

Because who even cares that the Demon King and his army is still at large, let’s disassemble what troops we have gathered thus far, why not?

“Ahh…that’s good to hear. So what are we doing today?” Steven asked.

Fuck it, I thought you were the leader now, but with how little charge and decision you do in the bedroom, it is no surprise everyone else is guiding your ass.

“We’re going to relax, while attempting to find Lizeea and the Demon King. It’s about time we made them pay for their crimes.” Rose Knight informed him.

You have been to space with satellites, you live alongside the world of Pokémon by being friends with foundation leaders, you have television and teleporters and portal magic, and both your enemies are comprised of active factions with armies and a castle each. You need to be intentionally crippling your own efforts to be this lacking in intel!

“Finally…I’ve been wanting to relax for a while now.” Steven sighed, as he and Ryoko got dressed, before the trio proceeded to make their way to the mess hall. When the trio arrived there, they noticed that the room was pitch black. Rose Knight turned on the light only to have the rebels cheer out loud.

“Surprise! Happy Birthday, Steven!” the rebels cheered out loud.

Ridiculous timing aside, the comfort of knowing Steven is getting inevitably closer to his eventual death soothes me a tiny bit.

“A surprise birthday? For me?” Steven asked, as Ryoko nuzzled up to him.

“Yes Steven-kun. It’s your special day today!” she smiled.

There sure is something special about it.

“Oh wow, I had been so busy fighting Project AFTER, I had forgotten all about my birthday.” Steven chuckled nervously, as his sisters ran up to him.

Which brings to question how everyone else knew. Forgive me for not keeping track, but haven’t you guys only known each other for, what, half a month?

“Happy Birthday, big brother!” they all chorused at the same time.

“Why thank you, my sweet little sugar cakes.” Steven smiled as he cuddled all of them. The rebels then gestured Steven to sit at the table, where there was a large birthday cake that had ‘Happy 18th birthday Steven’ in icing.

Congratulations, Steven, you’ve finally reached the age of consent, you fucking hypocrite. How nice of all your statutory rapists to round themselves up for arrest, too. I’ll pardon Esdeath, though, for the honesty of her actions.

“I don’t know what to say everyone…other than thank you all.” Steven smiled, as the rebels then sang Happy Birthday. Once the rebels had finished the song, Steven then blew out the candles and proceeded to cut up the cake and hand everyone a piece.

Not to call birthday cake and singing childish, but would anyone hold it against me to take this party as an indicator, that the author isn’t even fifteen yet?

“Yay! I love cake.” Elise cheered.

“Indeed, chocolate cake is one of my favorite treats.” Clair commented.

Really? What with the author specifically describing your underwear to be black, I would have guessed licorice.

“Thanks big brother!” Nino smiled.

“You’re all welcome. Now I think it’s time for us all to enjoy ourselves!” Steven declared. Everyone proceeded to enjoy the party, as there was a lot of fun things to do, such as party games, card games, and even some fun shows on television. The best part was the 2-hour long special, where Francis the Snivy and Team Comboblade defeated Team Genstars again.

Their winning streak truly started off when they challenged Team Genstars to a fainting match.

“Wow! That Francis fellow is amazing!” Aria praised.

“Why yes, he’s an adorable little critter, isn’t he?” Melody added. Just then, the TV was cut off, as an emergency news broadcast was airing.

It’s probably Kent Brockman reporting that Principal Skinner has gone missing from the hippest birthday party this side of the Ivalician rape fields. Honestly, what is this fanfic even?

“We’ve received reports that the Demon King has been sighted at the Sardine Farms, and Princess Lizeea has joined him. As we speak, thousands of innocent sardines are getting slaughtered. We call out to the Ivalician Rebellion to help those innocent sardines.” The news reporter reported.

Attached Image

Oh no, those poor sardines. What? No, seriously, what? What? The Demon King and a corrupt princess is terrorizing fish now? What? Did someone finally buy these infantile authors a cable connection to Disney Jr.?

“Oh no! We got to defeat the Demon Lord once and for all!” Crimson Rose declared.

“Yeah, we can’t let those demons kill all of those innocent sardines.” Lunar Priestess added.

“Sorry Steven, but we have to cut your party short.” Nereida apologised.

Oh, wow, it’s almost like deciding this was to be your day off was pointless to begin with when you are at war, dumbasses. And you can end this dream sequence now, author, it’s getting rather silly. What do you mean it’s not a dream sequence?!

“Its fine, no need to blame yourself.” Steven replied. “Now let’s kick some demon butt!” The group then proceeded to exit the room and make their way to the Sardine Farms.

Sardine Farms

Whatever fight scene is coming up, the term ‘shooting fish in a barrel’ will not be that novel a concept.

The rebels arrived at the Sardine Farms and spotted the Demon King and Lizeea standing there, smirking at the rebels.

Ah, yes, smirking, the most intimidating of actions this author can imagine. Schoolyard bullies can be more menacing than this.

“Well, well. Look who’s finally here, the pitiful rebels.” The Demon King jeered.

“You motherfucker! How dare you slaughter those innocent sardines!” Steven growled, pointing his sword at the enemy.

Did PETA hijack this story, or am I missing something? I’ve tried googling sardines in all the universes I can recall being spliced into this. Who cares about the fucking sardines?!

“Shut up Steven, this is all your fault!” Lizeea snapped.

“How is this my fault?” he asked.

“You forgot to collect your semen, during your night with Esdeath!” Lizeea growled.

Geez, lady, did he sign a contract to deliver every ejaculation he ever makes? Would you have allied yourself with the Demon King if he had jerked off in secret, too?

“Uh, excuse me. That was ages ago. Get over it you spineless little bitch!” Crimson Rose scoffed.

“Fuck you, you fucking trampy slut! You’re the whore who put out for that failure Steven.” Lizeea snapped.

Can’t explain the events leading up to this moment in a meaningful way? Have the scene devolve into an insult contest.

“Because you ordered us to, you dipshit.” Steven retorted.

“Hahaha! This is excellent comedy. Unfortunately for you, we’ve got plenty of re-inforce ments…” The Demon King chuckled, as he summoned forth some AFTER agents, Devil’s Hand bikers and Trump Supporters.

How about you summoned actual demons instead of simple, easy-to-kill people who should no longer exist, according to the declaration of Steven’s undeserved accomplishments?

“We can take them on!” Draconia declared, as the two groups charged into battle.


“Prepare to die!” The biker growled.

“I’m gonna give you an ass whoopin’~” a second biker sing-songed.

What, no grabbing by the pussy? No other misogynistic comments? What is this shit?

“You don’t scare me!” Nino declared, charging up a fire spell, and aiming it at the sing-songing biker, killing him instantly.

“Read my lips; fuck you!” a third biker entered the fray, armed with a knife. Luna dodged the attack and fired an arrow at the biker. “Ngooooohhhhh…” the biker groaned as he died.

I think we can safely say that dying is their first nature, the second one being to wait around for someone to remind them of the former.

“Oh, you’re dead!” the first biker growled, aiming a pistol at the young girl. All of a sudden, a gust of wind blew into the biker. “Whhhhyyyyy…” he groaned as he died. Nino and Luna turned to the source, only to see that it was Winda.

“Hehehe, looks like I got him.” She chirped.

Yes. Yes, you did, Winda. Just like you did in Chapter 16, which was the first time this entire fight scene was copy-pasted off of Chapter 13!

Elsewhere, Crimson Rose and Aria were exchanging fire with a group of Devil’s Hand bikers. As quickly as they were falling dead, more of them appeared from inside the fort, armed to the teeth with knives, hatchets, tomahawks, wrenches, baseball bats, and even police batons.

The sardines decided that their farm needed a fort well equipped for impromptu bar brawls, you see.

“How many of them are there?!” Aria exclaimed.

“Too many of them for my liking.” Crimson Rose commented.

“I’m gonna roll me a fat one.” A beefy biker boomed, as he unsheathed a large rifle from his holster.

“Oh no you don’t!” Aria snapped, firing a round into the biker’s head, causing it to blow up.

All he wanted was to smoke weed, lady, is it that much of a crime to draw a weapon enthusiastically while declaring that?

The headless body wandered the scene for five minutes, before it subsequently dropped dead.

Because acting like headless chickens is nothing new for these authors.

“I’m gonna get you for that.” A second biker growled, charging onto the scene and firing at the two with a massive minigun.

“How about this?!” Crimson Rose snarked, firing a round into the biker’s neck, causing his body to spin and spasm everywhere, mowing down the rest of the Devil’s Hand goons, before subsequently dropping dead. Suddenly, more bikers appeared out of nowhere.

Because that’s where all these antagonistic figments of the author’s imagination spring from; out of nowhere.

“Uggh! Not more of them!” Steven complained, as he jumped into the battle, slaughtering bikers.

“Save some for me!” Shadow Stalker shouted, firing a barrage of arrows that eliminated the rest of the bikers.

Because we have to give equal time for the other factions who have patiently waited their turn for the chopping block.

Nino and Lunar Priestess set up a barrier, to block the incoming bullets from the Trump Supporters. Luckily, the barrier didn’t require much magical energy to keep up.

“Alright everyone, I’ve got you covered!” Nino called out.

And now we are just ripping off the fight scene from Chapter 10. Is this author genuinely a troll at this point, or does he think that this lazy composition even warrants acknowledgement?

“You got it!” Luna replied, firing an arrow at a Trump Supporter, killing him instantly. Meanwhile, Shadow Stalker began firing a volley of arrows at half a dozen Trump Supporters, killing them. Meanwhile, Melody was busy electrocuting a dozen Trump Supporters, while Aria and Crimson Rose were raining gun fire down on a large group of Trump Supporters, killing them instantly.

Insta-corpse, just add minimal effort.

“And I was hoping for a challenge…” Crimson Rose sighed.

You and me both, but what can you expect from these authors?

“Look on the plus side, the battle will be over soon.” Aria commented, and she was right. There were ten Trump Supporters left. The three Paragon’s and Steven split up the Trump Supporters amongst themselves.

“I’ll make you all pay; maybe then father will wake up…” Aurora Blade muttered to herself, before she charged at the two Trump Supporters.

You can tell the author didn’t even read the context when he copied it in. I find the clues are all too impressionable. Either we are dealing with a single author, who cares not even for the beast he has produced, lazily trying to finish it off quickly so as to save face in pretending to be a 14 member group, or the SovietSlackers are truly a self-destructive mess, with one of its members ripping off the works of the others while knowing that they won’t notice.

She effortlessly cleaved one supporter, before turning around and kicking the second one in the gut, before beheading them.

“Time to feel the wrath of a dragon!” Draconia declared, impaling one Trump Supporter, before launching a pillar of fire at the second Trump Supporter, incinerating them to ashes. Meanwhile, Shadow Stalker was busy staring down at the corpses of two Trump Supporters that he slayed, their bodies riddled with his cursed arrows.

At this point, I’m honestly surprised the authors didn’t make the mistake of copying a scene where a dead character suddenly made an appearance. Not that Steven resurrected them, of course. Although, he might have, seeing as the author decay on this story has entirely forgotten to maintain the italicized death listings and just ramble off names without it.

“Pathetic.” Was all Shadow Stalker said in regards to the enemy. Steven was busy swinging his sword at the two Trump Supporters. He managed to decapitate the first one, however the second one was providing a bit of trouble.

He wouldn’t present his neck and wait patiently like the rest.

“Hehehe, you should give up now.” The last Trump Supporter sneered. However, he was pushed to the ground and stabbed in the heart by Blood Baroness, who then proceeded to bite the Trump Supporter’s neck, and drink his blood.

“I thought you didn’t like the taste.” Steven pointed out.

“I don’t, it’s just that I’ll rather drink sour blood, than no blood at all.” Blood Baroness replied.

And that has been relevant for how long again? When was this fanfic even about League of Angels?

Nino and Winda immediately proceeded to create a wind shield, as they called out to Lilina, Elise and Sakura to come on over to them. The trio then proceeded to run towards the shield, with Lilina firing a few fireballs at a couple of agents, killing them instantly.

And now it’s the scene from Chapter 29. I know montages are a thing, author, but how can you even find enjoyment in this?

Meanwhile, Luna was aiming her crossbow at a few more agents and fired at them, penetrating their skulls with sharp bolts and killing them. Steven proceeded to charge at the agents and slashed his sword at them, killing a couple and injuring a few more.

You are slacking, Steven. You know you have to kill everyone instantly, now that your raging ass is finally back to using a sword.

Meanwhile, Billy turned around and fired a few rounds at a couple of AFTER agents, killing them, while Aya was mowing down AFTER agents with her chainsaw. Meanwhile. Clarine was discussing a plan with Elise and Sakura.

”We’ll use the same tactic as we did in the Boreal Forest when Steven faced ConcernedGamer.”

“Wait, I don’t remember anyone by that name, only some guy named Kristoph.”

“Alright, here’s the plan. All three of us will use a Hexing Staff, in order to greatly weaken the enemy. From there, the others should be able to defeat them easily.” Clarine explained.

No, we’re still stuck in Chapter 29 during this copy-paste purgatory. Groundhog Day had less repetition than this.

“But I don’t feel right hexing them, even though they’re the enemy…” Sakura commented.

Get a grip. The Demon Lord and your big brother’s angry pimp is standing right in front of you, Sakura. Think of the poor sardines!

“I don’t like it as well, but it’s the only option we’ve got.” Elise replied, as Clarine gave then a Hexing Staff each.

“Alright everyone, on the count of three. One, two, three!” Clarine called out, as the trio fired their Hexing Staves at the enemy agents, greatly weakening them. Steven, Luna and Lilina used this opportunity to defeat the rest of the agents. Just then, the Demon King created another swarm of AFTER agents, Devil’s Hand bikers, and Trump Supporters.

Of course none of these idiots have enough brain cells between them to figure out to target the person able to summon from his infinite minion pool. Steven, you even fucking own Yu-Gi-Oh!, you should know this!

“Oh come on! How many of these losers are there?!” Nari asked, in a bout of frustration.

“Wi-will the never stop coming?” Chihaya asked.

“Don’t worry everyone, they can’t defeat us!” Nana declared.

“Prepare to die!” The biker growled.

“I’m gonna give you an ass whoopin’~” a second biker sing-songed.

Oh no, fuck you, you can’t be serious! Is this just going to repeat itself again? Is this just the author trying to fill out his word quota, or did he think this was somehow going to discourage the effort of mocking this junk? Hells no, I’m sticking through this, new jokes, same material. Because I can make a better effort in one day than this author ever could in his entire life!!

“You don’t scare me!” Nino declared, charging up a fire spell, and aiming it at the sing-songing biker, killing him instantly.

And thus, we will never learn the rest of the lyrics to the potential hit single “Ass whoopin’ time” by Iker B.

“Read my lips; fuck you!” a third biker entered the fray, armed with a knife. Luna dodged the attack and fired an arrow at the biker. “Ngooooohhhhh…” the biker groaned as he died.

“Oh, you’re dead!” the first biker growled, aiming a pistol at the young girl. All of a sudden, a gust of wind blew into the biker. “Whhhhyyyyy…Iiiiiiii…oughtaaaaaa…” he groaned as he died. Nino and Luna turned to the source, only to see that it was Winda.

“Hehehe, looks like I got him.” She chirped.

Eating that bean burrito at the birthday party really paid off, I see.

Elsewhere, Crimson Rose and Aria were exchanging fire with a group of Devil’s Hand bikers. As quickly as they were falling dead, more of them appeared from inside the fort, armed to the teeth with knives, hatchets, tomahawks, wrenches, baseball bats, and even police batons.

“How many of them are there?!” Aria exclaimed.

Hold on, are you saying that any one of you even know how to count?

“Too many of them for my liking.” Crimson Rose commented.

“I’m gonna roll me a fat one.” A beefy biker boomed, as he unsheathed a large rifle from his holster.

“Oh no you don’t!” Aria snapped, firing a round into the biker’s head, causing it to blow up. The headless body wandered the scene for five minutes, before it subsequently dropped dead.

It says something about that biker, when he can survive longer without his head, than the writing efforts of this author with one still attached.

“I’m gonna get you for that.” A second biker growled, charging onto the scene and firing at the two with a massive minigun.

We should have revealed ourselves as rich Ace Attorney villains sooner, maybe we would have had money enough to make sure our minions didn’t fire blanks half the time.

“How about this?!” Crimson Rose snarked, firing a round into the biker’s neck, causing his body to spin and spasm everywhere, mowing down the rest of the Devil’s Hand goons, before subsequently dropping dead. Suddenly, more bikers appeared out of nowhere.

These must have been hiding inside the sardine cans, of course. But seriously, what the hell was the sardine farm all about?

“Uggh! Not more of them!” Steven complained, as he jumped into the battle, slaughtering bikers.

“Save some for me!” Shadow Stalker shouted, firing a barrage of arrows that eliminated the rest of the bikers. Nino and Lunar Priestess set up a barrier, to block the incoming bullets from the Trump Supporters. Luckily, the barrier didn’t require much magical energy to keep up.

Oh look, our heroes are still not breaking a sweat. Doesn’t that just make this scene so thrilling and intense? Can effort even exist in this universe?

“Alright everyone, I’ve got you covered!” Nino called out.

“You got it!” Luna replied, firing an arrow at a Trump Supporter, killing him instantly. Meanwhile, Shadow Stalker began firing a volley of arrows at half a dozen Trump Supporters, killing them. Meanwhile, Melody was busy electrocuting a dozen Trump Supporters, while Aria and Crimson Rose were raining gun fire down on a large group of Trump Supporters, killing them instantly.

The joke’s on you, rebels. We will crush you underneath the weight of dead corpses and make you drown in the easily earned blood of your enemies. And maybe one day you shall realize the futility of it all, as it becomes clear that the only escape from this copy-paste hell is the temporary yet repeated and liberating demise of the mortal coil.

“And I was hoping for a challenge…” Crimson Rose sighed.

“Look on the plus side, the battle will be over soon.” Aria commented, and she was right.

Nothing is right in this world, because Aria is a filthy, dirty liar.

There were ten Trump Supporters left. The three Paragon’s and Steven split up the Trump Supporters amongst themselves.

“I’ll make you all pay; maybe then father will wake up…” Aurora Blade muttered to herself, before she charged at the two Trump Supporters.

”That lazy bum always hits the snooze button. Your dying screams will be his new alarm clock.”

She effortlessly cleaved one supporter, before turning around and kicking the second one in the gut, before beheading them.

“Time to feel the wrath of a dragon!” Draconia declared, impaling one Trump Supporter, before launching a pillar of fire at the second Trump Supporter, incinerating them to ashes. Meanwhile, Shadow Stalker was busy staring down at the corpses of two Trump Supporters that he slayed, their bodies riddled with his cursed arrows.

Realizing his inferior kill count, Shadow Stalker was wondering if shooting arrows could truly compete with military grade sniper rifles.

“Pathetic.” Was all Shadow Stalker said in regards to the enemy. Steven was busy swinging his sword at the two Trump Supporters. He managed to decapitate the first one, however the second one was providing a bit of trouble.

He’s trying to win at this do-over. Go, faceless chump, I believe in you.

“Hehehe, you should give up now.” The last Trump Supporter sneered. However, he was pushed to the ground and stabbed in the heart by Blood Baroness, who then proceeded to bite the Trump Supporter’s neck, and drink his blood.

“I thought you didn’t like the taste.” Steven pointed out.

“I don’t, it’s just that I’ll rather drink sour blood, than no blood at all.” Blood Baroness replied.

Of course blood gains flavor because of political views. This fanfic was made by authors that bastardized the understanding of survival of the fittest, and unintentionally credits the enslavement of African people as a just act in its name, by having their yapping Wendigo go unrebutted on this.

Nino and Winda immediately proceeded to create a wind shield, as they called out to Lilina, Elise and Sakura to come on over to them. The trio then proceeded to run towards the shield, with Lilina firing a few fireballs at a couple of agents, killing them instantly. Meanwhile, Luna was aiming her crossbow at a few more agents and fired at them, penetrating their skulls with sharp bolts and killing them. Steven proceeded to charge at the agents and slashed his sword at them, killing a couple and injuring a few more.

This is all just the equivalent of mashing the attack button anyhow. No team attacks, no extra effort or coordination. Just do an attack, knowing a target will step right up for the hit themselves. It’s truly like Ride to Hell, yet somehow dumber.

Meanwhile, Billy turned around and fired a few rounds at a couple of AFTER agents, killing them, while Aya was mowing down AFTER agents with her chainsaw. Meanwhile. Clarine was discussing a plan with Elise and Sakura.

”We’ll use the same tactic as we did in the Boreal Forest when Steven faced ConcernedGamer.”

“Wait, I don’t remember anyone by that name, only some guy named Kristoph.”

“Nevermind. Just do what we did five minutes ago.”

“But what are you talking about, Clarine? This is the first time we’re fighting today.”

“Alright, here’s the plan. All three of us will use a Hexing Staff, in order to greatly weaken the enemy. From there, the others should be able to defeat them easily.” Clarine explained.

“But I don’t feel right hexing them, even though they’re the enemy…” Sakura commented.

It’s the adorably scowling faces, the empathically ogling eye contact, the sort of cute way they drool when they see you, isn’t it?

“I don’t like it as well, but it’s the only option we’ve got.” Elise replied, as Clarine gave then a Hexing Staff each.

“Alright everyone, on the count of three. One, two, three!” Clarine called out, as the trio fired their Hexing Staves at the enemy agents, greatly weakening them. Steven, Luna and Lilina used this opportunity to defeat the rest of the agents.

And thus the second, unaltered iteration of this fanfic’s climactic fight scene comes to an end. Congratulations, author, if you wanted to make anyone think you a brain dead baboon, mission accomplished, regardless of the truth.

“No! This cannot be! I cannot lose!!” Lizeea shrieked.

Bitch, what have you been doing besides waiting for the sweet release of death?

“Just shut up and die already you slut!” Steven retorted, as he sliced her in half, killing her instantly.

“Grooohhhh! I cannot be defeated!” The Demon King bellowed.

Only if you stop rewinding time and summoning minions, or don’t pull your fingers out your ass to actually do any of the things your title could imply. I give these authors too much credit. Even children’s cartoon villains have more autonomy than this.

“You have plagued this world with your evil for too long! It’s time for you to repent for your sins!” Celica declared.

“Yeah, you will never bother my brother again!” Clair added.

”Because now he’s going to jerk off on you! Wait, sorry guys, I might have rehearsed the wrong script for today.”

“Time to die, Demon King!” Steven called out, as he slashed at the Demon King’s torso.

“Argh! Beware the King of Bern…” The Demon King gasped, as he soon died of his wounds.

The King of Bern? Oh, don’t tell me Bernie Sanders is being dragged into this mess now. He’s the mysterious King, isn’t he? What’s with the pointless politic bashing in these fanfics, man?

“Huh? What is he talking about?” Scarlet Thorn inquired, when they were interrupted by the sound of a thundering herd of cavalry. The rebels turned to the nearby hill, and spotted a large army of knights, that were behind a trio of hooded figures, who stood behind an intimidating king in dark purple armour, and had a matching purple fur robe.

And he was standing behind a tree, cursing his bad luck that his army had given away his stealthy approach.

“Wh-who are you?!” Steven asked.

“Silence worm! I will not have you asking me questions.” The king barked, before he cleaned some dust off his robe. “I am King Zephiel of Bern, and I shall conquer this land!”

Oh. Okay. Who is this? I’ll just rub Google and get my three search requests. A moment, please. Fire Emblem antagonist, from a game where Nino, Steven’s little sister, is 14 years older and a mother. Go figure. I also tried searching ‘why the fuck should I care’, twice!!

“Oh yeah, you and what army?” Crimson Rose retorted.

The army we got described currently on horseback, you blind bint. Did you copy-paste this dialogue cliché too, author?

The three hooded figures lowered their hoods, revealing their faces.

“Ahh, it’s you! The meanie who kidnapped me and my family.” Clarine cried out at the man on the right.

“Ha! If it ain’t the little noblewoman. You should be honoured that I’m granting you the privilege of being the bride to Bern’s most handsome and talented general.” Narcian bragged, puffing his chest into the air.

What the heck is going on here? We got this big fanfic, over forty chapters long, months of wasted writing efforts, all leading up to the pretend victory over Project AFTER and whatever allies we’ve been excused to have to stab in the back. And then this story now decides to end off with an out-of-nowhere opposition to sate some plot-line hijacking author’s final, ineffectual power-fantasy over Fire Emblem villains, by injecting such a petty and selfish anticlimax as the curtain-calling high note? It’s not like there was any thunder for you to steal, but damn, dick move, man.

“Have you been spying on little girls again?” The woman in the middle, Brunnya, inquired.

“Huh? No way! I’m just preparing her for a life with the greatest man alive.” Narcian replied, still as arrogant as always.

”I proposed yesterday, and he said yes! I’m here to get Clarine’s blessings.”

“Whatever you say Narcian, just don’t mess up here this time.” The other hooded male, Murdock sighed.

“Aw come on now. That wasn’t my fault! That army had ballistae, Ballistae! How the hell are the wyvern knights under my commander supposed to dealt with ballistae?!” Narcian ranted, his smug demeanour replaced with a look of fury.

I haven’t played the game, but I’d assume figure out the final part of an above-average complexity type-counter ala Rock Paper Scissors.

“Maybe you should have brought different brigades along, in order to adapt to the situation.” Brunnya commented.

Guys, can you please stop your in-fighting? You are making your game and King Bern or whatever look bad when the author writes you as tantruming toddlers instead of complex adult characters.

“Your mages have the defences of a wet paper bag, while Murdock’s knights are as slow as molasses. That’s why wyvern knights are superior, they can hit hard, take a few hits, and can fly.” Narcian bragged. “Which makes me the most powerful Dragon General of Bern.”

“Why do we even bother talking to you, if all you’re going to do is blow hot air?” Murdock muttered to his companion.

Why do I feel like this is the line of discourse between the authors writing this mess, when discussing what universe to put into this crossover, including the events of this chapter?

“Hey there, you should be honoured to fight alongside—“Narcian began, but was smacked upside the head by Zephiel.

Three stooges and an abusive leader. Wow, it’s almost like we abandoned that formula with the death of GorillaGamer and the posse I was a part of. Why couldn’t we be these people? I’d rather be the chick than a Phoenix Wright character.

“Compose yourself in front of the enemy!” he warned his subordinate, before turning to the rebels. “We shall defeat you and claim this land for our own! But not today, for we still need to prepare an assault on your nation’s capital.” With that parting comment, the armies of Bern left the hill, leaving a brigade of confused rebels.

“What was all that about?” Aria asked.

The author figuratively racking up four bowling pins for you lot to knock over, with child-proof gutter guards and everything.

“It seems like we’re not done yet. We’ve got one more foe to overcome, before the war ends for good.” Aurora Blade replied, as the rebels went back to their base to discuss their new plan.

Do explain how this is even a credible threat. Are they demons? Wendigos? Do they have AFTER Arms? Guns? Teleporters? You have literally saved the world, and some megalomaniacal king invading one country with a cavalry is having you worried? I know why you keep insulting me, but why do you insult yourselves?

Yep, the mysterious king we’ve been hyping up is King Zephiel from Fire Emblem: The Binding Blade. We figured that he’d fit in rather nicely in this fic as an antagonist.

I’ve seen better hype in the shutdown for this forum, author. He could have been anyone, even the most crazy of things to compare with what shit you’ve thrown at the wall, and you go with what’s likely just as boring and trite a game ending rip-off as the Necromancers of China pulled. You’ll let us down, one more time, won’t you?

Long live the Soviet Union!

Clinging this much to your only source of identity on the Internet can’t possibly be healthy for you, author.

That was Chapter 44. I don’t know whether to laugh or weep, as this story has intentionally squandered what little potential it thought it had. We’ve still got Chapter 45. And maybe a lemon chapter, as far as I can recall. That’s up to GorillaGamer, though. I’m off to settle what debts I have left. It’s been fun, a blast, and a laugh doing this with all of you.


This post has been edited by ConcernedGamer: Jul 19 2017, 02:54 AM

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Post #178

Shillin' Best Girl from Fire Emblem: Echoes

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post Jul 20 2017, 05:56 PM
Well everyone, this is it; the grand finale of this pile of insanity written in word form. You may be curious as to why I’m not mocking Chapter 45. To put it simply, all Chapter 45 was, is a copy paste of the ‘Fire Emblem waifu’ discussion from Chapter 14, with a little ending note stating that Steven and co. defeated King Zephiel. So I figured that I’d mock the side-chapter after it, which is a lemon between our favorite semen-dispenser, and Clair. Keep in mind that Steven views Clair as one of his sisters, yet he sleeps with her in this chapter. Kind of puts the whole little sister deal in a new light, but whatever. Let’s get down to the mock already.

Epilogue Chapter:

Pegasus Summer Home

It was a fairly peaceful day at the summer home where Steven and his family resided following the war. He recalled how during his time with the rebels, he had defeated such evil monsters, such as Former US President Donald Trump, Nazi Leader Adolf Hitler, King Zephiel of Bern, and even the dreaded Makkapitew, Lord of the Wendigo.

Oh yes, Steven defeated so many evil villains, such as a US President who lack the power of a US President. The Nazi Leader who got nerfed to the point of relying on a Pokémon body pillow. An absent and overall kinda pointless Fire Emblem villain. And my personal favourite, an anti-video game, racist Wendigo.

It was here where he and Ryoko lived along with his beloved sisters, however the house was unusually quiet.

You see, Clarine, Elise and Sakura only visited the place once every fortnight for the weekend, since they mainly lived with their biological families.

Well…at least we got something good out this fic, since Clarine has her family back.

Nino, Winda and Lilina were attending the Lycian Magical Collage for Gifted Children, while Nana, Nari and Chihaya attended Musashigawa Girls’ Middle School. Aya and Billy were busy visiting Luna, who was attending her duties as the Dark Type Gym Leader of the Reborn region, while Celica was busy catching up with her childhood friend Alm, and Ryoko was attending classes to become one of Novoselic’s top neurologists. Ironic, considering her abuser was a former neurologist.

She soon started to browse anti-refugee websites, in honor of her lover turned abuser.

Which left the young man alone with Clair, the stunningly beautiful Pegasus Knight from Valentia. But there was a small problem; Clair is infatuated with the young man, and has been ever since he rescued her and Celica from the clutches of DraculaMarth.

Take that Alm! Clair’s going after a real man now!

…I can’t believe I just said that.

She admitted her feelings to Steven, however he admitted that he only saw her as a sister. This satisfied the young woman, but only temporarily. She had gotten incredibly flustered when she saw him battle and defeat the Makkapitew, and has been spending time alone in her bedroom, fantasising about Steven. Since the two of them were going to be home alone for the entire day and night, she could admit her feelings a second time, though she knows that it won’t be successful.

Steven was relaxing by the pool in his favourite pair of swimming trunks, when he spotted Clair walking up to him and sitting down beside him. The young man noticed that Clair was wearing her favourite two-piece black bikini.

Why thank you for that highly detailed description we got.

“Oh hello Clair, is everything alright?” Steven asked her.

“Well…you remember when I told you how I truly felt about you?” Clair asked.

“Yes I do. Why’d you ask?” Steven inquired.

“I-I suddenly developed those feelings again, when I saw you battle that monstrous creature at Project AFTER’s Headquarters.” Clair admitted.

“Killing Wendigoes makes me very horny!”

“I know you see me as a sister, but I cannot control myself!”

“Whoa there, calm down. I’m sure we can discuss this without shouting at the top of our lungs.” Steven attempted to reason with her. “Do you have an idea on how to combat said feelings?” It was at this stage that Clair’s face lit up bright red with embarrassment, as if she knew the answer, but didn’t want to admit it.

Eh, I have a solution. Try your luck with Alm, and if that doesn’t work, then you could always settle for Gray.

After a few minutes of deliberating it with her mind, she decided to come clean.

“Steven…may I sleep with you?” Clair requested, startling the young man.

“Bu-bu-but I’m in a relationship with Ryoko! I can’t break her trust.” Steven stammered, a blush on his face.

“I err…told Ryoko about my predicament, and she said that sleeping with you was the best way to fix the problem.” Clair added.

Ryoko must be flunking her psychology course if she suggested sleeping with Steven.

“I’ll admit that you’re beautiful, but still, I see you as my sister. Surely your biological brother would protest to this.” Steven continued, as Clair shushed him.

“What he doesn’t know, can’t hurt him.” Clair purred, petting Steven’s face. “And besides, I heard you’re pretty good in bed.”

“W-well if that’s what you want to do, then we’ll do it tonight.” Steven answered.

“Oh thank you!” Clair hugged Steven. “You don’t know how much this means to me.” The two continued to lounge around at the pool, soaking in all of the sun’s rays.

I hope they remembered to put on some sun screen. Sunburn can really kill the mood in the bedroom.

Steven’s Bedroom 11:30pm

Steven was about to tuck himself into bed, when there was a knock on the door.

“Come in Clair.” he called out, knowing who the person behind the door was. The door opened, and Clair entered the room, before closing the door behind her.

“Before we begin Clair, I’d ask one more time. Is this what you really want?” Steven asked her.

“Yes Steven, I’ve been wanting this for a while now.” Clair replied, as she got into bed and snuggled alongside Steven.

And I can safely say that’s Steven’s been wanting some action with his sisters for some time know. Hey, maybe that’s why Steven got angry when ConcernedGamer/Dashguy/GorillaGamer talked about having some fun with his sisters.

“Did you really tell Ryoko about your predicament?” Steven asked.

“Of course I did, I even recorded the call just in case you asked this very question.” Clair replied, as she whipped out her phone and played back the call between her and Ryoko, before placing it on the side drawer.

Phew, we avoided the potentially interesting conflict of Steven cheating on Ryoko.

“Well in that case, let’s begin.” Steven said.

Lemon time everyone:

Steven and Clair began kissing and cuddling one another, as they rubbed each other’s backs. They stared into each other’s eyes, as their tongues danced against each other in their mouths. Steven then moved from her lips and began gently nibbling her ears, eliciting a soft moan from Clair.

“O-Oh! Your mouth feels so good.” she moaned in bliss, as Steven continued to nibble her ears, before moving to her neck and proceeding to lick the soft skin. Steven then gently bit down on her neck, giving her a small hickey before he resumed his licking. His hands had moved from her back and began to caress her soft breasts.

While this does appear to be a new lemon, it’s hard to tell exactly, given how bland the writing is.

“O-oh yes! Please keep doing that!” Clair begged, loving the sensation of having her sensitive breasts caressed. A few minutes later, Steven backed off from her and began unbuttoning his shirt before removing it, revealing his toned body. Clair follow suit by removing her shirt, revealing her C-cup breasts, snuggled inside her pink lace bra.

Clair must have pinched Celica’s undergarments while the latter was away.

“Teehee, you like what you see?” Clair purred, noticing the growing bulge inside Steven’s pants. “Then I’m sure you’ll like this.” She then removed her bra, freeing her round breasts from their plush confines, with her perky nipples standing on edge. Steven then proceeded to lower his head and began caressing her breasts, before he proceeded to suckle on her right nipple, and gently tweaked her left nipple. Clair moaned quite loudly, her body wracked with bliss.

“Oh yes, I love what you’re doing to my breasts.” She sighed, as she began to run her hand through Steven’s hair. The young man then proceeded to glide his tongue along her nipple for a while, before he switched nipples, suckling and licking her left nipple, while tweaking her right nipple. Clair moaned in ecstasy, her flawless body flooding with pleasure. A few minutes later, Clair moaned loudly as she came, her panties getting soaked in her feminine fluids.

Someone in Stalin’s Legion must get off to water sports. If I were to take a guess who it is, I’d say SovietKazakhstanMan.

“Oh Steven, I think it’s time I treated you…” Clair purred, as she lowered Steven’s pants and underwear, exposing his rock-hard penis. “My, my. Ryoko was right about you being big.”

It’s like the only thing the protagonists talk about is the self-inserts dick.

“I aim to please.” Steven replied. Clair then proceeded to gently rub her hand up and down Steven’s member, eliciting a moan from the young man. “Oh my goodness! This feels good.” Steven moaned.

“I knew you’d like it.” Clair smiled, as she began licking his penis head. A minute later, Clair had begun licking the underside of Steven’s penis, her tongue gliding up and down the veiny shaft, while her other hand cupped and ticked Steven’s scrotum. A few minutes later, Clair then engulfed Steven’s member into her mouth, and began to suck on it, eliciting a loud moan from Steven.

“Ahhhh!” Steven cried out loud, as his body was wracked with an amazing sensation.

Blowjobs are highly overrated. Not only do you run the risk of getting your junk bitten off, but it also looks disgusting.

Oh sorry, you want a joke…

Stalin’s Legion.

Clair then began to stroke his penis while sucking on it, making sure to tickle his balls as well. After a few minutes, Clair removed the penis from her mouth and began rubbing it on her breasts.

“Time for another special treat…” Clair purred, as she wrapped her breasts around Steven’s penis and began rubbing them up and down, eliciting a loud moan from Steven.

“Oh wow! How did you know I like this?” Steven asked.

“Well someone around here has to gratify SovietAzerbaijanMan.”

“Ryoko told me. That and I saw the two of you having sex with each other. Sometimes I fantasize about being in Ryoko’s shoes.” Clair admitted, as she picked up the pace on her mammary intercourse, licking Steven’s penis head every time it poked out from between her breasts. The young man moaned loudly, his body wracked by an amazing pleasure. A few minutes later, a tingling sensation rocked his spine.

“A-Ah, I’m cumming!” Steven cried out louder, as he ejaculated all over Clair’s face and breasts. “Ah, I’m sorry.” He blurted.

“It’s fine…” Clair replied, wiping the sperm off her with a tissue, before proceeding to lower her pants to reveal her moist, pink lace panties. “I think you know what I want next…” she purred, getting to her hands and knees and turning away from Steven, wiggling her plump backside.

I swear that this is a repeat of the Ryoko lemon, but with enough differences to make it look like an entirely new thing.

“Indeed I do…” Steven replied, as he lowered her panties and began rubbing two fingers up and down her moistened slit. Clair moaned in bliss as her vulva was getting rubbed by the man she had a crush on. Steven picked up the pace on his rubbing, eliciting a loud moan from the young woman. A few minutes later, Steven plunged his fingers into Clair’s sweet pussy, and began thrusting them in and out of her.

Sweet Pussy Counter 28:

“Oh-Oh gods!” she cried out loud, as her body was getting bombarded by a most wonderful pleasure. After a few more minutes of fingering, Steven removed his fingers from her vagina and began gently poking Clair’s anus. Steven continued to tease her for a while, before he inserted his index finger into her anus, causing Clair to yelp fairly loudly.

“Ah! Please be gentle.” She begged, as he body got accustomed to the strange, but pleasurable sensation.

“Alright then.” Steven smiled, as he began to slowly and gently thrust his finger in and out of her. He then lowered his face and began licking her pussy, greedily gulping all of her juices.

Jesus Christ, Steven. Your gluttonous indulgence in Clair’s juices is making you look like, dare I say, a Wendigo?

Clair moaned loudly as he body was rocked with a most amazing sensation. Steven then picked up the pace on his thrusting and fingering, eliciting a louder moan from Clair.

“Oh yes, this feels so amazing!” she gasped, her body quivering with pleasure. A few minutes later, Clair moaned loudly, as she came all over Steven’s face. The young man ingested the delectable juices coating his face, before removing his finger from her anus and placing a condom over his erect member.

“Are you ready sweetheart?” he asked, as Clair laid on her back and spread her slender legs.

“I am Steven.” She purred, as Steven then rubbed his penis against her lips, before gently inserting his member into her pussy, eliciting a small moan from Clair. Once it was fully in, Steven then began to thrust in and out of Clair, the two lovers moaning in perfect harmony. Clair moaned as Steven proceeded to caress her breasts like before, tweaking her hardened nipples.

“Oh wow! Ryoko was right, you are amazing!” Clair sighed in bliss, as Steven began kissing her on the lips, their tongues dancing like before.

I can’t believe no one’s mentioned this before, but in all the lemons, the tongues of Steven and his body pillow are dancing. Is there some international tongue dancing competition somewhere? It’s bound to be much better than this trash.

The young man then picked up the pace on his thrusting, causing Clair to moan loudly. The young woman was ecstatic, her body in a world of pleasure. After a few minutes, Steven slowed down on his thrusting and ceased his kissing.

“Do you want to change positions?” he asked her.

“Of course darling.” Clair smiled, as she laid down on her side, and gently petted her backside. Steven got onto his side and spread Clair’s legs, before inserting his member into Clair’s sweet pussy a second time.

Sweet Pussy Counter: 29

And here’s the last mention of someone’s sweet pussy. I’m a bit sad that we weren’t able to make it to 30, but whatever.

Steven then cupped her breasts a third time and began thrusting into her, eliciting a moan from Clair.

“Oh yes, yes, yes!” Clair moaned in absolute bliss. “I love how good your feel inside me!”

“I’m glad you like it.” Steven smiled, as he began tweaking her nipples while caressing her breasts, before he proceeded to pick up the pace. The young woman moaned loudly, her body enjoying every single ounce of pleasure it was receiving. A few minutes later, both of their bodies began to quiver, indicating that they were about to cum. The two lovers moaned loudly, as they came at the same time. A few seconds later, Steven pulled out of Clair and discarded his condom. The two of them then cuddled each other, and gave each other a kiss.

“Thank you Steven…that was amazing…” Clair sighed, as the duo proceeded to fall asleep.

And on that rather dull note, this fic is no more. I apologise if this chapter wasn’t as funny as the Chapter 43 mock, but all this was is Steven blowing his load into his sister pillow. I’m going to be making one more post, where I analyse this fic from beginning to end, and point out all of this stories flaws. It’s going to be a long post, so it’ll take some time.

Until then, I would like to thank everyone who commented and even helped me in mocking this disaster. I couldn’t have done this without you all.

List of mocks can be found here: Here

QUOTE (AnItalianGuy @ May 27 2016, 02:03 AM) *
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
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Post #179

I have risen...

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post Jul 20 2017, 11:15 PM
I anticipate this analysis very much. I can only hope that whoever spawned this fanfic is watching and is seeing how much more organized we are than his...abomination of a story.


The mistakes I see in this this work are to be pointed out so they may not be repeated.
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Post #180

I'm very concerned.

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post Jul 23 2017, 04:34 AM
This final lemon seems even more pointless than the previous ones.

At best, even if we stripped out the incest vibes - which the author didn't even side-step as much as hitting it dead-on - Steven's only investment here was to worry about his apparently now permanent girlfriend, and what Clair's brother would think.

Steven has no actual attachment to Clair, literally giving her a pity fuck thinking that's somehow a solution to her obsession with him, and the sex scene can't portray it any differently, either.

Why did the author even want this written?

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Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 23rd August 2017 - 01:25 PM