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> CCC Special: Unseen Horrors Showcase II
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Master of AFTER


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post Oct 31 2015, 06:35 AM
Happy Halloween, Captioneers! To honor this annual celebration of creepy costumes and ghoulish getups, we'll be taking at look at some outfits that were too disturbing for the Cosplay Caption Contest. No, wait, I got that mixed up—they weren't disturbing enough. They're still pretty disturbing, though, so this ought to be an entertaining ride.

As was the case with the original Unseen Horrors Showcase, readers are welcome to submit any captions that come to mind while viewing the parade of failures that follows. Captions aimed at this collection of castoffs won't be judged for competitive purposes, so feel free to kick back and write some scathing quips at your leisure. The pressure's off, so just have fun with it.

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I thought this image had potential the first time I saw it, but subsequent viewings revealed a number of details that began to bother me. The submissive pose, the clueless expression, the fact that she's barefoot in the middle of what appears to me a convention hall, the handcuffs... It all came together to give me an uneasy feeling. It just didn't feel ethical to make a contest out of mocking a photograph I can imagine a prosecutor referring to as "Exhibit A."

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Deciding whether or not to use this one was a difficult task. The male half of this pair fucked up virtually every aspect of his costume and looks too stupid to even care, but his companion pretty much nailed the look she was going for and appears to be appropriately embarrassed for both of them. In the end, I decided their combined hideousness averaged out to an awfulness score that was barely too low for the CCC. If anybody ever comes across a picture of Mr. Fairy Fail up there cosplaying solo, let me know.

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The sight of this image will no doubt cause social justice advocates to shake their heads so hard their facial piercings fly off to wound bystanders. Hashtag racism is never funny FYI TYVFM. Thankfully, this must not be racist, because I think it's damn funny. I had this one queued up for the CCC for some time, but I eventually nixed it because the cosplay itself isn't actually that bad. I'm not sure what these people are supposed to be, but I can easily picture quite a few nerds having worn dramatically worse versions of their outfits at some point.

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How many jokes can you write about Sanji's sexual frustration leading him to pick up transgender prostitutes? I don't know the answer to that, but I have a feeling we would've found out had this one made it into the CCC. Regrettably, the ancient cell phone somebody used to take this photo wrecked the image quality so badly that it was unusable. I might have been able to salvage this under different circumstances, but the migraine-inducing color of that wig thwarted my every attempt to look at this for more than a few seconds at a time.

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I couldn't even begin to guess what the hell I'm supposed to be looking at here. Like the last image, this one didn't make the cut because of quality issues. Had I been able to track down a high-res duplicate, this definitely would've appeared in a contest. Experience has taught me that heavy cosplayers plus furry accessories plus confusion equals pure caption gold.

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As much as I love the ragtag duo of derpy Ryuk and child predator Light, the way this image is cropped makes it less than ideal for a CCC target. If their faces are this much fun, just imagine what they got goin' on down south. I might've still given this a pass were it not for the fact that bad Death Note cosplay is so boringly common. You can't swing a =(xωx)= emoticon on an anime forum without hitting some con-goer's snapshot of the above pair. This isn't even a particularly interesting Ryuk—I've seen weeabos tackle that character in the style of everything from a drunk Nosferatu to an emo tube dancer.

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Whoa! Somebody's dad sure is pissed off. I can only assume this guy is mad because he was so proud of his costume until he arrived at the convention center and noticed one out of every four attendees was dressed as Vegeta. If Death Note cosplay is that one crapcular pop song you inexplicably hear every time you turn on the radio, Vegeta cosplay is a muzak rendition of Jingle Bells when you're working at a mall kiosk in December. You can't get away from this shit no matter how hard you try.

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I'm serious. The less skilled someone is at operating a sewing machine and applying makeup, the more likely they are to adore this character. I've woken up in the ER twice after playing bad Vegeta cosplay drinking games.

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I'm not entirely convinced this even qualifies as cosplay, unless the character they're pretending to be is the personification of sexual deviancy combined with apathy. Does anybody know of a character like that? Because that does sound like something Japan would make.

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The arrangement of the subjects in this image sadly made it impossible to feature in the CCC due to the fact that sizing it down to the appropriate dimensions would've resulted in the loss of too much detail. It's a shame, too, because I really like this one. If you follow the cosplayers clockwise from the girl in the back, you can see their moods transition from mild amusement to total, all-encompassing despair. The Haruhi cosplayer is my favorite. You can just tell the photographer is like the fiftieth person to ask her to do that ridiculous pose, and she's reached the point of having mentally checked out. This was supposed to be a fun time with her friends, but their group costume choice has ruined the experience and now she's silently counting the seconds until it's over. When people ask her how the anime convention went, she'll liken the experience to a weekend-long gynecological exam.

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Thanks for joining me on another tour through the cosplayer rejects pile, folks. Let's all give a round of applause to the foolishly brave men and women who refused to listen to common sense and wore these ridiculous-ass outfits in public. Their shamelessness couldn't quite get them into the CCC, but they most certainly made it into our hearts.


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"The urge to destroy is also a creative urge."
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Post #2
Dr. O


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post Oct 31 2015, 04:54 PM
QUOTE (Master of AFTER @ Oct 31 2015, 09:35 AM) *
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"I'll be the one to write your name when you die... Juuuuuust as soon as I can get both eyes pointed in the same direction."


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Max-Vader


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post Oct 31 2015, 04:56 PM
QUOTE (Master of AFTER @ Oct 31 2015, 05:35 PM) *
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Well, I'm never going to have an ereiction again.


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post Oct 31 2015, 07:45 PM
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Being concerned for Ms. Pacman's eating habits, Inky took some rather controversial measures on their first date.

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How many sharpies did this man use for a hairstyle of such perfection? The answer may surprise you.

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Protto


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post Oct 31 2015, 10:27 PM
QUOTE (Master of AFTER @ Oct 31 2015, 07:35 AM) *
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Anime Cosplay Fact #45: When interviewed, this lovely thing confessed that many sleepless nights were spent getting the right shade of blue. Indeed, making the drapes to match the carpet was no easy task.

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You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You're beautiful, it's true.
But you sprayed my face
With guns full of Mace
Is it 'cause my hair's too blue?
Am I just a cuck to you?


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"Hello, I'm Sam, over here is my sister Sarah. And nestled comfortably in Sarah's grip is our daughter."

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Someone give AMC's The Walking Dead's makeup artist some pointers!

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Blue crayon in a Hot Pocket sleeve. You can't unsee it now.

In a bid to look more Asian, he decided to slap a piece of Spam onto his eye to try and make it chinkier. Results inconclusive.

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In order to rope in the LGBT crowd, Big Hero 6 unveils its new mascot: Fae-Max.

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Hitler-tan rouses the hearts of her fellow schoolmates with the help of her trusty club, the SS Brigade.

This post has been edited by Protto: Oct 31 2015, 10:29 PM


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StabbyKobold


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post Nov 4 2015, 12:01 PM
QUOTE

Never one to be left out of a fad, Japan decided to do their own attempt at whitewashing American slavery.


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