Update - August 11th Options

[Master of AFTER]

Hey gang. I tried to get this update done earlier in the day, but I had some unexpected interference in my free time. My dad's car broke down a good half hour away, so I had to sacrifice a chunk of time picking him up, driving back, then driving him to where the car got towed, then driving back home again... Plus I got caught on the phone with a friend of mine who loves to chat and apparently has nothing constructive to do at this point in his life. That's right Brian, I'm talking about you. Your brother is right man, you yap like a bitch!

Anyway, I couldn't get the site updated before midnight, so technically it's the 11th now I guess... Sorry 'bout that. The new stuff is up now though, so hopefully you can all enjoy that and forgive me for any tardiness.

I am dead serious though Brian, your phone bill each month must be like five or six figures. Goddamn dude.

[Therum]

Excellent! Nice updates. Look forward to reading them all today.

And the Affiliate page is actually pretty funny. <_< Nice job there, too.

This post has been edited by Therum: Aug 11 2006, 08:15 AM

[TigerEyes]

Wow, that sure was worth the wait! All the rewritten stuff was as great as ever, and I thoroughly enjoyed that new episode, as well.

[Shmeckie]

I've got some places to be, so I'ma put off reading the new episode until tonight. It'll probably be funny as hell, though.

And if you're having troubles with feedback, I can make only two suggestions; advertise the site like a whore, and mix in all new content with the old stuff in more frequent updates. I'm pretty sure the last two were met with muted response because it was all stuff everyone's seen before.

And if you're having troubles with jabbing friends, this always works for me; "OH MY GOD, MY LEG JUST CAME OFF, I'LL CALL YOU BACK!" I'm not trying to be cute, either; I've done that, and it works. I mean, no one believes me, but they know what it means.

EDIT: I read the AFfiliates page. Alex, man, you are funny as fuck!

This post has been edited by Shmeckie: Aug 11 2006, 10:55 AM

[Homer DJW]

all looks good. i plan on reading the new content tomorrow cause i'm kinda tired (it's 11 pm here) so i might try geting an early night.

but i shall look forward to reading the new content tomorrow.


...


...wait, did i say look forward to? after the content given the PA treament i'll more likely be throwing up in bowel clenching terror.

Whatever, both is good

[SSJ Heero]

With the return of the affiliate page, I'm wondering, when's the legal information going to return?

Currently reading the new episode.

EDIT:

God DAMN, that fanfic. The author retconned herself in the middle of her fucking story!

"As you wish." Reni tried to runaway from them but didn't make it in time to escape. The last words Serena ever heard from Reni was, "Serena, when I die I will haunt you in your dreams!"

Pssh, like there's anyone's dreams that she doesn't already haunt.

After that she was dead. "What do you want me to do with the body?" Lord Gemeni asked. "Just put it in the dumpster. They will find her eventually," Serena said.

Guess the author reeeeally wants to milk that shock value for all it's worth. Too bad killing off Reni is such an overused element in Sailor Moon fanfiction as it is. Also, I guess now is as good a time as any to point out that "Gemeni" is spelled incorrectly. You know, just gettin' that out there.

I'm still wondering how Rini actually died. Because people don't just fall over dead without apparent explanation unless there's... a Death Note. Holy shit, Death Note/Sailor Moon crossover.

"Don't do it," Ami called out as she pulled Raye back. "No way. I am going to bring her down. She is calling me crazy!" Raye cried out as she gotten loose from Ami's and Lita's grip. Serena, however, dodged her attack and punched her in the stomach.

Counter Hit! Tech Bonus! 10000

"That'll teached you to mess with me," Serena said as she walked away. "Man, what is her problem. Any harder and she could of killed me," Raye complained. Then she fell on the floor. "Raye!" the girls called out.

KO! Perfect! 45000

I love references to video games in a MST.

Ami began to hold on the Lita, "Lita, is this really it?" Lita started to tear up, "I don't know. I don't know." Serena took out a second item. It was an ax.

Shit, Serena knows how to dual wield! And she has +2 proficiency with all bladed weapons!

I love D&D references even more.

Conclusion: WINNER.

This post has been edited by SSJ Heero: Aug 11 2006, 04:52 PM

[Shmeckie]

After reading this, I still gotta say that Alex is a funny fuck.

"Man, that was a close one," Reni said as she began her search for Serena's problem. Serena stopped once more and turned around. Reni quickly went behind a bush.

They have bushes in their house?

It's funny because it's stupid!

Serena was walking on her way to school until she bumped into Ami. "Oh hi, Serena. Is everything okay? You're crying," Ami asked as she brought out a tissue. "Yes, Ami. I'm okay." But soon, as Ami does not know yet, nothing will be okay. All their lives would end before long.

Jeez Louise, thanks for the spoiler warning Blackberry14! >:(

I dunno why, but I really liked this one.

##########################################################################

Those railroad tracks look a little crooked...

I have no idea why this cracked me up... I must be high...

All she could think of is what Rini said before she died, 'Serena, when I die I will haunt you in your dreams!' She couldn't get those words out of her head. She made her way into the school, found Lita and them, and ran to them.

Good old them. That them is good people.

Sounds like something I woulda said... I also, of course, always appreciate a good fighting game reference or two...

Oh, and you forgot to link to the new episodes on the episodes pages.

Either way, this was some funny shit. Nice work, Al!

Oh, and nice editor's note on my article. =)

EDIT: Holy shit, I just read the Cosby thing! That was fucking hilarious! Oh my god, dude, I laughed like a kid being ticked!

This post has been edited by Shmeckie: Aug 11 2006, 07:46 PM

[Mr. Scolex]

oh damn, MoA.

good stuff! i dont think i laughed this hard about anything on the internet.

i'd pos t what my favorites are, but i'd end up quoting like 3/4 of it.

all of it, i loved it all. you should write stuff for a magazine or something.

also, Shmeckie, your editorial on FLCL and stuff was awesome.




good stuff. i can't wait to read more.

[Gohan]

Another hilarious new episode. My favorite bit was the little rant about the stupid way fanfic authors always have conversations with their characters before their fic. That always pisses me off and I'm pretty certain no one else finds them funny ever but I think it is the first time I've seen someone make fun of them.

Also, I was nearly in tears at the Cosby bit at the end.

Bill Cosby: ........

Alex: ........

Bill Cosby: *Pulls out a knife*

Alex: HOLY SHIT!

Fucking hilarious.

[Master of AFTER]

Haha, wow, thanks everybody. It's always great to hear that you guys enjoyed the new stuff I put up, and this kinda love just makes me want to spontaneously break onto song and dance. And even though they ain't technically "new", I gotta thank Cody again for his contribution in the form of those great guest editorials, without which this update just wouldn't have been the same.


I wanted to address these real quick too...

With the return of the affiliate page, I'm wondering, when's the legal information going to return?

Err, you mean the legal page with the huge-ass disclaimer on it? That's been up since the site launched. I even expanded the disclaimer n' everything.

Oh, and you forgot to link to the new episodes on the episodes pages.

Yeah, I still need to put those up. I just need to tweak the summery text for #12 a little bit more, and then I'll put 'em both up.


Thanks again everyone.

[SSJ Heero]

Damn it, I'm a noob. Oh, the link's at the bottom.

[Malheidsman]

Ah, I've missed reading PA Episodes... It was hilarious, these are a few of my favourite parts (only one I wanted to quote but won't was the last one Shmeckie quoted, good old them ):

"If it is your wish to do so then be my guest, but in the end I will destory the Sailor Scouts and you can be my queen." Serena fell to her knees, "I will hurt them, but don't let me see you kill them. It would break my heart."

Voice: No, no, I said you DON'T have to hurt them...

Serena: Very well, I will kill them. But don't let me see you dump their dead bodies in a mass grave and set them on fire. It would break my heart.

Voice: Ummm....

It illustrates perfectly how the "author" seems to forget that story elements are supposed to make sense...

"Why? Because everything here has no meaning to me. And so I thought that since I will be leaving, I thought it would be best for you all to perish!"

I can identify with that feeling. Sometimes, when I go on vacation, it's just like, y'know, why shouldn't I kill all my neighbors?

No comment needed I think.

But first I must get rid of the obstacles.' Serena put her hand up, "Mrs. Susuka, could I use the restroom?" The teacher looked up from her book, "Sure, just come up here and take a pass."

Swap out that last 'a' for an 'i' and you've got a teacher with a fantastic sense of humor.

Simple, but terribly effective.

Blackberry14- Oh, will you just shut up!

Blackberry14- Serena! Where are you?

Whoa, little short-term memory loss there eh Blackberry.

Ditto.

Lita and them went up to Serena's doorstep. Mina went up and pushed to doorbell.

Oh no say Mina the door have started to move!

A perfect reference to bad subbing. All in all a great episode (and it didn't even feature rape, well done)!

EDIT: Right, the Affiliates page! Heading there now...

This post has been edited by Malheidsman: Aug 14 2006, 10:49 AM

[Shmeckie]

I was just re-reading Episode 3, and this thing's cracking my ass up! Holy shit, the thing with Misty looking for things to "satisfy her", then this following it...

Later...

Misty: Okay, I found an ice-cube tray, some coffee filters, and a copy of the Bible. This should be interesting to say the least.

Funny as shit.

EDIT: Oh, man, and the "don't think about volcanoes" bit... God damn, man!

This post has been edited by Shmeckie: Aug 14 2006, 04:37 PM

[Varna]

Honestly the Pokemon one was better than the Sailor Moon, but they were both excellent. XD The guest editorials were something else, too.

[Arc Baltic]

I think Shmeck's comment right here was the winner of best thing said in an update:

8: Christina Aguilera
I don't know nor care if I spelled her name right. She's a Britney clone that, at some point, went horribly wrong. Like the twisted cloning in Final Fantasy 7, she became corrupted, and became the very definition of dirty skank that would make her a laughingstock for years to come. One cannot even say they like her music without being viciously mocked. Her skankiness has transcended even male hormones; can you find one man who says he'd like to fuck her? I can't, and with good reason. Your pee will burn like you've got a flamethrower between your legs if you even touch her over-exposed skin. She's gotta have so many STDs her vagina probably resembles the Sarlaac pit from Return of the Jedi. And just in case we didn't hate her enough, she gives us a music video featuring the ugliest and most malnourished children ever. Even Sally Struthers kept her distance from those kids.

[Master of AFTER]

I'm really glad this update went over so well... My suicide can be postponed for another month.

Also, for those of you who may have caught it, I just fixed the error in Episode 3 where a small chunk of text wasn't colored red like it should have been.