My Prince Returns, Yet another Avatar Mock by Lizard-Man
My Prince Returns, Yet another Avatar Mock by Lizard-Man
Joined: 18-November 09
Member No.: 313
Jan 29 2011, 03:29 PM
Anything is better than reading Ashbringer, even a stupid Avatar fanfic. It helps though that today’s piece of amateur writing involves something I don’t hate with the fury of a thousand suns though. Although not everyone can say the same about the subject, considering how shippers are with characters that get in their way. So everyone allow me to introduce you to Jin.
Jin is an Earth Kingdom resident, she likes tea, midnight walks through the city and boys with scars. Her turn ons are candle lit fountains, failed acts of juggling and apparently coupons for Tea. It doesn’t hurt to be mysterious yet also a complete and total dork. Oh and apparently she has a great rack. What? I’m a man, we all noticed it.
I mention all of this because Jin appeared in one episode of Avatar where she got Zuko to go out on a date with her. Despite the fact he has no social skills, Jin actually fell for the angsty dumbass cause he did something pretty friggin romantic when he lit up a bunch of torches at her favourite spot, without her seeing him firebend of course. She almost made out with him, but then the loser got cold feet and ran. Mostly because, I don’t know, maybe he didn’t want to betray his other girlfriend Mai who he probably at that point never thought he’d see again. Still, he’s a total dumbass for not jumping at the bit for that hot little number.
Jin is mildly hated among Zutarians of the Avatar fandom because she dared tried to stand in the way of “Twue Wuv” or some shit. They made fun of her boob size, called her a slut and insinuated she was a gold digger despite the fact Zuko at the time appeared to be nothing more than a poor waiter at a freakin Tea Shop that was, for all intents and purposes, a total dive. The vitrol stopped soon after everyone realised she was never going to appear again and the Zutarians went back to hating less minor characters like Aang or Zuko’s real girlfriend Mai for equally stupid reasons.
Jin went on to become a bit of a sex symbol nonetheless and it’s hard not to see why cause trust me she’s smoking. Sure she’s nowhere near Ty Lee’s calibre, but it’s hard to top a double jointed acrobat with Double Ds. And despite the fact she’s a total one shot character, Jin and Zuko shippers still persist! Well, they deserve their due for remaining ever so loyal to a crack ship yet not bugging anyone about it. Admirable I must say. With that all in mind let us look at “My Prince Returns” involving Zuko coming back to Jin no doubt to rekindle old flames and perhaps to finally get jiggy with her already. His manhood is at stake here folks.
My Prince Returns
How come I have the feeling Jin is going to have animal friends singing in chorus with her during this story?
Ch3rry: Ok so this is a story mostly about Jin since I think it was so unfair they never mentioned her again.
That’s what a one shot character is honey, if she kept appearing she’d be a reoccurring character and this show already has enough hot chicks as main or secondary characters. We’re pushing the quota here.
Jin: I agree! Me and zuko should have gotten married!
Wow that doesn’t sound desperate or creepy at all.
Ch3rry: ehh... No comment. Zuko, disclaimer please!
Zuko: Ch3rry does not own ATLA, me iroh, top or Jin. She does however own Hana, Jin's sister.
For now, but it didn’t stop Oswald the Rabbit from getting bought by Universal and taken away from Walt Disney. Not that any studio would want your crummy OC but still...
"I have to go." The paled skin boy said breaking the kiss and running off.
Let me guess, he had to go home for his cootie shots?
"Li wait!" The brunette yelled after him. The girl sighed with disappointment.
No sexy time tonight for her. How sad.
After seeing that he was not about to turn around anytime soon; she took one last look at the strangely lit torches and started her on her short walk home.
Alone and through the dark crime filled alleys... smooth move Zuko you Casanova you.
"Jin your back!
“There’s a spider on it!”
How was your date dear?" Her mother asked when Jin walked through the door.
"It was nice," she mumbled
Jin: Except for the part where he totally ditched me and I got mugged on the way home. I may need therapy.
opening the door to her room and slamming it shut.
She immediately turns on the angry girl punk music and rants about how everything with a penis is an asshole into the wee hours of the morning.
Her mother exchanged a knowing glance to her husband, and then chuckled with delight. "Ahhh, the life of a teenager."
Mom: I take delight in the fact my child isn’t able to hold down a man! Don’t you dear?
Dad: Why aren’t you making me a sandwich?
Lying across her bed, Jin thought about what she could've have done wrong to make him leave so hastily.
She wondered if it was the fact she had come on too strong. She had tried to undo his belt buckle as soon as he came in for a peck after all. That might have set him off or maybe it was the fact she started to strip for him during that walk to the restaurant.
Not able to come to a conclusion, she walked over to her dresser drawer and looked at herself in the mirror.
In disgust she started drawing over her face with lipstick, calling herself a whore before screaming how fat she was and upchucking in the toilet for an hour.
Suddenly a smile formed across the pretty face that stared back at her. Yes, she was disappointed that he left so quickly,
Much like many of the men in her life, although granted at least he didn’t leave in the middle of the night leaving only two dollars and a note on the dresser.
but she enjoyed herself and thought that Li seemed to have had fun as well. She would forget about his sudden departure and think about all the good things on their first date.
Like how he screamed at the waiter that she wasn’t his girlfriend, or his botched attempt to juggle or how he continued to fail at all attempts to make small talk of any kind.
The creaking sound of her door being opened interrupted her pleasant thoughts. She looked over to see her 14 year old sister standing excitably in the doorway.
“Jin, I’m sorry, I took your favourite shirt out today and spilled coffee all over it. Also, one of your shoe heels cracked on me, I swear it wasn’t my fault. How much did that stuff cost you again?”
"Tell me everything!' her sister squealed with emotion.
“Did he give you oral or anal?”
Jin giggled. Her little sister was always interested about other people's romantic lives.
I bet she is... pervert.
She was also a top notch gossiper too.
She had sold several tabloids pictures of Paris Hilton and Jennifer Aniston doing such unspeakable things.
In Jin's opinion, her sister was meant for the high class society,
What with her tendency to laugh at the downtrodden and scoff at charity though gritted teeth while snorting.
not the dull life of a second class worker.
Hey those textiles ain’t gonna build themselves kid. It ain’t slavery, it’s child labour, there’s a difference ya see. One is involuntary the other is born out of desperation.
Her hair was always in the latest style, and though they couldn't always afford it, her sister always knew what the new IN thing was.
She had a special line to folks who made those “Hot and Not” columns in the teen mags.
Jin on the other hand, was a hard worker, but at the same time knew how to enjoy herself. The newest hairstyle was not really a matter she concerned herself with.
Jin knows she turns heads already, no need to dress it up more. That would be over doing it.
"Oh Hana, it was ok." She said torturing her sister.
"You're lying! Stop it and tell me what happened! What did you say his name was? Was he cute? You didn't tell me anything before you went out with him, now spill!" Hana begged.
Tell me more! Tell me more! Like does he have a car?
"Well… his name is Li. He's really cute and… tonight was the best night of my life!" Jin gushed with excitement.
Really? The jerk ditched you and left you to walk home alone as soon as he kissed ya? Don’t you feel the least bit insulted?
Hana started jumping up and down squealing like pig.
"Tell me more!"
Tell me more! Was it love at first sight? Tell me more! Tell me more! Did he put up a fight?
Her eyes green as spring grass danced with excitement. Her lips curled into a huge cheesy grin. She was genuinely happy for her sister. Plus, she loved hearing about people's dates and giving romance advice.
Yes I’m sure the fourteen year old girl has SO many romance tips. Unless she’s the village bicycle I ain’t buying that.
"You should've seen him! When he first came out of his house, his hair was styled in some crazy look that I guess his uncle had worked on all night.
Jin: Because I have no respect for the hard work of my elders I messed it up immediately of course.
She really did that in the episode by the way but not in that context... I think.
Then we went to eat dinner where he attempted to do a little juggling for me.
Attempted and failed miserably I may add.
He said that he use to work in a traveling circus as a juggler, but it looked like he could've used some practice.
Jin: I wasn’t suspicious at his total lack of any real skill whatsoever.
Then I took him to that special place I told you about with the lanterns and fountain, but the fires wasn't lit." she explained.
I blame the unions. The local fire lighters just want more and more money, they don’t care about the young horny teenager at all.
"Awww that sucks, her sister lamented.
Kinda like you Hana, in more ways than one if ya know what I mean! HA HA! Orals!
Jin looked at the ground. "Yeah it did, but then something strange happened." She said looking back up at her sister. "He told me to close my eyes, and when I opened them again they were lit. I don't know how, but they were."
It was almost as if some person had bended an element to do so!
Her sister stared at her amazed and then giggled. "Maybe he's a firebender!"
Now whatever gave you that ridiculous idea? HA! Firebender! That would only explain every suspicious thing about him.
Jin froze for a second before busting out laughing. Her and her sister laughed so hard that their stomachs began to ache. When they finally calmed down Jin began retelling her story.
"Anyways," she said wiping a happy tear from her eye. "We kissed and then… and then he just ran off."
Idiot didn’t get the signals obviously, what did he need a lit runway towards the bed?
"I wouldn't worry about him running off, maybe he forget to do the dishes or something.
Or Jin just sucks at kissing, that’s a more logical assumption. That or he’s just a douche.
What I do know is that you have to see him again!
Why? He abandoned your sister in the middle of a crime infested city! How is that romantic material? I say forget the bastard and find someone who can treat you like a real woman and isn’t a total angst factory of emo bullshit.
Give him a few days, then go up there and see what's he's doing" her sister encouraged.
Play hard to get, boys love what they can’t have for some reason. Works with girls too.
Hugging her little sister, she smiled. "Thanks. You know, for being younger than me, you sure do know a lot about these things.
Hana: I’m still a virgin! Who told you otherwise? Was Alyssa? That bitch! She always tries to screw me over at school! Fucking rat!
Not that I don't. I'll go in three days to see what he's doing."
You mean sweeping floors and brooding while he serves tea? Like he does every day?
After talking about the date for a few more minutes, they changed out of their day clothes to something to sleep in.
I’d ask if they had a pillow fight, but Hana is probably underage so I’m not going there.
As she fell fast asleep, Jin couldn't help but wonder what surprises lay ahead with Li.
Cosby: Ha ha! Well looks like Jin is gonna try and find out more about that there Li fellow. I betcha she’s gonna learn some big surprises long the way. Stick around, you might learn something yer self. Hey, Hey, hey! (Tosses basketball)
The three days went by painfully slow;
A rock was going faster than time those days took to go by if you can believe it.
by the time they were up Jin was ecstatic. But when she finally got there the place was deserted. Many regular customers stood there, just waiting for it to open. It never did.
Geez, I figured the whole thing took a huge dive when Iroh got a better Tea Shop but I didn’t think it collapsed that quickly. Owner must’ve been pretty traumatized by his poached tea maker. Probably committed suicide, more than likely it’s a better story than this.
The next day Firenation soldiers came into Ba Sing Se and took over.
Many citizens just watched as the tanks rolled in thinking “Well wasn’t expecting that.”
The earthnation had fallen. Then a month later it was all over. The avatar and his friends beat the Firelord and restored the earthnation to its rightful place.
It was a funny couple of weeks to be sure.
But even after all that, Jin never saw Li again until…
The next high school reunion.
"It's so great to see you!"The young man with rich black hair exclaimed embracing his unclein a tight hug.
Iroh was a paraplegic for the rest of his days as a result.
It had been two and a half years since the Avatar took down the Firelord and the long process of restoring peace and unity began.
It was kinda like Iraq, but with less car bombs.
Young Firelord Zuko had decided that a visit to the Jasmine Dragon. His usual visit to see his Uncle was long overdue. A few months after the war ended, Iroh had reopened the Jasmine Dragon along with the help of Toph who moved in with him.
Heh well considering how close Toph was to Iroh I guess she would’ve done that. Probably hard to contain their collective awesome in one house though.
"Hey Sparky. You've gotten handsomer since the last time I saw you." The blind girl with long raven hair greeted,
Toph grew out her hair? I don’t know... I can’t really see it like that. Wouldn’t that clash with her tomboy persona? I didn’t imagine it staying in a bun all her life, but I never figured it would grow long.
punching him softly on the shoulder.
To Toph, Softly is the equivalent of a stampeding bull elephant. Zuko is now stuck head first into the opposing wall.
"Thanks Toph I appr… Toph!"
After the formalities Iroh made a new batch of delicious steaming tea for his dear, new arrivals. They talked about old times and what everybody has been up to.
Zuko: I got a new client at the bank
Toph: Who is it?
Zuko: I cannot tell you, it’s confidential. Anyway, how is your Sex Life?
They had been talking for an hour when an old customer walked through the door.
Looks someone is jonesing to cash in for a booty call and it’s two and half years overdue. Bow Chicka Bow Wow!
Thanks for reading! Next chapter will be posted soon! Will post faster if people review!
The sign of an amateur writer, to get more reviews bribe people! That just shows how little confidence you have in your work.
Anticipation and Lies
Or “Sex, lies and Videotape: Ba Sing Se Edition”
Ch3rry:Wow, this one was hard to do. I've never made a story with chapters. So if you have any suggestions just pm me!
Well for one make them longer so I don’t have to paste them together like this to justify posting this stuff up.
Zuko: You make me look like a jerk.
Ch3rry: A cute jerk!
No, no, just a jerk, regular old jerk.
Jin: Ok time for the disclaimer! Ch3rry does not own Zuko, Mai, Toph or anyone else besides for my sister Hana
Hey freak of nature! How’s it going? You wanna Soda?
Ah, least she ain’t as annoying Chen or Dick.
For the first two months, since their first date, Jin would go up to the tea shop to see if maybe the scarred boy had returned.
In the middle of an occupation by your sworn enemy you continue to check out the place where that dude who ditched you worked? Girl... you need to sort out your priorities.
Each visit ended in disappointment.
Translation: Jin got no sexy time.
Finally, she gave up all hope of seeing him again, to the point where she wouldn't even allow herself to pass by the old tea shop.
She of course had to take the more dangerous route back home each day that ran through the red light district, but broken hearts make you do stupid shit.
Then, two and a half years later she overheard her sister talking about an awesome new tea shop run by an older man.
You know that Tea Shop by that point must’ve been open for awhile. Took long enough to mention this to Jin don’t you think?
When she heard that, her heart skipped a beat. The description her sister gave of the old man reminded her of Li's sweet uncle, Mushi. Maybe it was him. For all she knew, it very well could've been.
Lady this is borderline obsession, you went out on one date with this guy and you’re practically fawning over him. You’ve been trying to track this dude down for two years now! Many a girl would’ve moved on, especially a teenager.
Maybe she should just go for one cup, just to check things out.
Besides she needed her fix, she went CRAZY without her caffeine.
And that's exactly what she did.
On a pretty, sunny day, Jin decided it was time to go try out a cup of tea at the new tea shop. She would go to see exactly who this mysterious old man was.
Only to get stuck listening to the old geezer explaining how immigrants had ruined the country and that everything was better when Rock Music was banned on radio.
Already knowing what Jin was planning, her sister begged like a baby mooselion cub to allow her to go along. And of course, Jin being Jin said that it was ok.
Hana has a tight psychological grip on Jin, all she has to do is ask “Would you Kindly” and Jin obeys unquestioning.
But before Jin could even make it out the door her sister saw stopped her.
Hana: Papers please.
"Um, Jin, I know your not going looking like that, now are you?" her sister questioned, looking her up and down, as a father does when his daughter attempts to escape with minimum clothing.
Hana obvious has no doubt been given this look enough times to imitate it.
"Actually I was. What's wrong with the way I look?" Jin defended.
Oh nothing. You just look like a fat cow, no biggy.
Her sister shook her head disappointedly. "Now I know that you're dressed nicely, in fact, you always dress very nice, but today is special.
Flag day is not special, its a fake ass holiday made up by greeting card companies like Superween or Saint Gibbons Day or Thanksgiving Extreme.
Today is the day you and Prince Charming will be reunited!
You both seem incredibly sure of that, maybe you should verify things before you spend lots of money on shit you don’t need.
You have to dress the part." Hana told her.
In other words you have to look like a whore.
"Hana, we don't even know if that is his uncle's tea shop. It could be anybody but… I guess dressing up a bit won't hurt." Jin concluded.
See what I mean? Subconscious manipulation, Jin’s common sense goes right out the door as soon as Hana shows up.
They went through all her clothes to find something perfect for Jin to wear.
Hana of course suggested the shirt with the words “Slut” across the chest and the hot pants with the words “Bitch” to complete the ensemble.
They had gone through mountains of clothes before they found it.
It was hard finding that old dominatrix outfit, they hadn’t used it in months. Turns out it was right under the candy land board game.
It was a pretty mint green kimono that expertly showed off her curves.
You know if it ends up Zuko ain’t even there the only person you’re left to show off your curves to in the tea shop is an old man you don’t even know. I mean sure you’re right, but it was like a long shot. Besides, showing up in a tea shop out of the blue wearing an out, it gives away why you came there in the first place. You could at least TRY to mask your motives. Casual clothes, pretend it’s a HUGE surprise to see him, that sort of thing.
Her sister put her hair up in a bun, and then placed a sakura comb into her hair.
That’s a female version of an afro comb for those not in the know. You can tell it’s a sakura comb it’s got a pretty flower on it.
Lastly, Hana put on just enough make up to enhance her sister's already pretty features.
Hana had taken a make-up course at Clown College though, so “just enough” essentially translates to her as “Bozo the Clown Style #3.”
When Jin looked in the mirror the brunette thought she looked like a completely different person,
The Plastic Surgery had worked wonders. Now she could finally track down Nicholas Cage in “Face/Off 2: Electric Bugaloo!” Coming soon this October!
but in a good way of course. In a few words, she looked absolutely beautiful.
If by “beautiful” you mean a whore then yes, yes she does.
"Hehe, there's not going to be any running this time." Hana said admiring their work.
Chances are when he finds out Jin’s been obsessing over him for two frickin years he’s going to not just run but throw several tables into her path as he does before setting the building on fire.
Jin laughed softly, "Let's hope not."
You know, considering he ran when you guys kissed, I don’t think the first thing you should’ve thought of was “Well maybe my clothes weren’t overtly sexy enough”, I’d imagine if a girl did that to me it would mean my kissing sucked ass. So I’d have worked on that instead.
They were now ready to go. They walked out of the house towards the direction of the famed tea shop.
I hear the Jasmine Dragon became the Starbucks of the Four Nations after the series ended. Now you can’t walk down one street without walking past at least six of them.
"So why are you so dressed up? I'm the one seeing somebody." Jin asked her sister.
"He might have a brother, duh." Hana exclaimed.
Ha ha, Hana you filthy whore.
But seriously, no, he doesn’t have a brother. He does have a psychotic murderous sister though. But uh, Ty Lee would probably get jealous if you started hitting on her. And Azula would probably burn you alive for good measure as well.
The happy brunette looked at her younger sister and laughed heartily. "Sorry, but I don't remember him mentioning a brother."
"I can dream." Her sister countered smiling.
With Azula it’s more like a nightmare actually.
Ten minutes later she was outside of the shop. By then, she had begun to feel a bit nervous.
Butterflies weren’t just in her stomach, they were having a WWE wrestling match in there.
What if this really wasn't his uncle shop and he wasn't there? Or worse, what if it was, and Li was there? What would she say to him after so long?
These are all questions you should’ve asked BEFORE you got dressed up like you're incredibly desperate for this occasion
She was about to give up and turn around when she felt a soothing hand on her shoulder. Looking down, she met eyes with her younger sister.
Hana: Bitch you don’t back out on me! (Pimp Smacks Jin) You get your ass in there and get me my money!
"You'll regret it more if you find out you missed your only opportunity to see him again." Hana smiled a bright reassuring smile.
I’m sure it’s more of a “I’ll kill you in your sleep” smile, that line about “Regretting it” sounded suspiciously evil.
The girl was always happy and confident just like her older sister usually was. Jin soaked in her encouraging words.
She made a pile out of them at home and threw herself on it every night. Sometimes she Scrooge McDucked it, namely jumping in head first and swimming around, it’s how she keeps her youth.
There was no point in turning back now.
Except you could turn back now, I mean there’s nothing stopping you from literally turning around and going back. That phrase is so poorly used in media I find.
She took a deep breath pushed opened the heavy wooden doors and walked inside.
There she was greeted by the allied races in the heat of their discussion about what to do with the one ring.
The shop was full of happy talking customers who drank their tea nosily.
I would think upper tier high class society types would have better manners. I mean, the Jasmine Dragon is located in the friggin upper class sector of the city.
Friends laughed about the newest gossip, couples gazed lovingly in their lovers' eyes.
People at the adjoining tables next to said lovers made gag sounds at their bullshit.
Lotus flowers decorated the walls of the shop. The delicious aroma of Jasmine wandered through the room.
It was lost, dazed and confused about what had happened last night.
For some reason though, there seemed to be an extra burst of excitement in the place.
Super bowl is on the big screen no doubt.
She scanned the room trying to find the owner. Finally she walked up to a table with a young man and woman a little older than she was. "Do you know who the owner is?" she asked.
Man: Do you mind? I’m trying to get my lady to let me make love to her ass hole.
The friendly couple pointed in the direction of a table in the far, back corner. Sitting at the table was an older man with grey hair whose back was turned so she couldn't see his face.
Then his head turned round 180 degrees and said “Your mother is in here with us Karras!”
Next to him was a 14 year old girl with long black hair.
Still can’t get over that, nope, not sinking in.
The rebellious girl had her bare feet on the table like nothing was wrong.
She was just wondering the many ways she could kill everyone in this room.
Across from the girl she saw a familiar looking face. Looking closer she realized who it was.
Her heart began beating faster and faster until it almost leaped out of her chest.
Thankfully the lungs and large intestine forced him back into his cell with pepper spray.
Jin's prince had finally returned.
May the smaltz begin to flow!
"What's wrong?" her sister hissed.
There’s that word “Hissed” again. You know that word doesn’t mean what everyone seems to think it means.
Noting her sister's frozen expression she turned around to see who she was staring at.
She too was entranced by Jeff Bridges and his awesome beard.
"That's him." Jin said still in a state of shock.
It’s “The Dude!”
She couldn't believe what she was seeing.
Believe it or not, neither can Mr. Bridges. He’s stoned right now you see.
All these years she couldn't even catch a glimpse of him and there he was sitting a few feet away from her. His raven hair was now past his shoulders,
So he’s decided to grow a mullet again. Christ, Zuko’s hair can never just get under control.
and fell gracefully down his back.
Alright, Zuko, if you wanna grow a mullet here’s some advice... that’s not a mullet it’s frickin Hippy hair! Get it cut!
At the top of his a small part of hair was gathered in a bun. His beautiful gold eyes sparkled radiantly like the stars on a clear night.
I didn’t realise stars were gold, they always appeared white to me. I don’t think the lyrics are “Like a gold brick in the sky.”
His squared shoulders were covered in a red robe, with gold trimming.
The more you describe him the more he sounds like Prince. In other words... gay.
At the time Jin thought nothing of why he was even wearing red.
This is because Jin recently had a frontal lobotomy.
Her only thoughts were of how much she wanted to kiss those soft lips of his, her hands running through his silky, soft hair.
YOU WENT! ON ONE! DATE! Good lord you’re clingy. What makes you think any man is gonna stick around in this kind of relationship? You suddenly think you’re meant to be together and make babies from one damn kiss? You’re still a teenager! You have your whole life to kiss dudes and figure out who you want to test mattresses out with. SLOW DOWN!
"Go talk to him." Hana said interrupting Jin's thoughts.
"I can't." she hesitated.
Jin: What if I go up to him and he doesn't like me? I mean, what if he says I'm no good? What if he says "Get outta here, kid. You got no future."? I mean, I just don't think I can take that kind of rejection
"You came all the way over here just to chicken out at the first glimpse of your man!
Yeah Jin! I thought you came over here to finally get over your obsessing and lose that damn virginity of yours already!
That is not the Jin I know and love." Hana reasoned
Where is the Jin that made a freakish shrine out of his hair and toe nail clipping? Where’s the girl that spent a full year putting up “Missing: Man Meat, Please contact if found” with his picture? Where’s the Jin that jumped on anyone who looked remotely similar, freaking out everyone around you and scaring the bejesus out of said guy?
Jin took a deep breath her sister was right.
That biological clock was ticking!
She was known for being courageous and outgoing, not of afraid of being herself.
I’d say these are informed abilities, but Jin in the TV show was basically your average facsimile for every girl who wanted to jump Zuko’s bones. Essentially she was a self-insert character for the fan girls, with traits common to every teenage or young girl easily identifiable and seen. You can pretty much make up a lot of who she is as you go along. In other words, she was a Zuko’s OC Girlfriend character you find in many an Avatar Fanfic done right.
Yet another reason I think people hated her... because it showed how crappy their own stories involving Zuko in one of their Mary Sues was.
She slowly weaved her way through the customers and approached the table. Her head spinning as she said the name of the man she used to think she'd never see again.
She could’ve gotten on with her life with that knowledge, but I think Jin has contracted a mild form of whatever the hell Beast Boy got in that other story I did by the author who must not be named.
Li? Zuko thought he hasn't heard that name since he met that girl the first time he came to Ba Sing Se. Wait! Zuko looked up to see a pretty young girl.
Zuko quickly thought “Oh crap please don’t say you have my child.”
"Hi Li. I don't know if you remember me or not,
Zuko: I remember every woman I bag baby, even if I don’t remember their names.
but it's me Jin." Jin introduced
Zuko knew exactly who she was.
The chick with the lantern fetish he ran off from.
He also knew the last time he saw here he ran off after she kissed him, causing him to blush from embarrassing past memory.
He quickly started looking for the closest exit.
"Oh, uh, hi Jin." Zuko said unsure
No, no, you’re doing it wrong. It’s pronounced like THIS
Jin watched as the tight smile on her face grew into a genuine bright smile he saw once before.
All he said was “Oh, uh hi there girl I haven’t seen in two years” like he barely even knows you! Why would that bring a smile to your face?
It had been years since he had seen her, but she looked just as beautiful as before, if not more.
Well it didn’t take long for the fluff to start reaching dumb ass levels.
The green dress really brought out her pretty eyes. Zuko suddenly began feeling uncomfortable about the situation knowing that Mai would be arriving anytime.
Your boner is gonna get chopped right off buddy! Keep it under control!
His nervousness caused his heart to race which he hoped Toph would catch on to, but of course she did.
Wait you want her to know you’re nervous as hell? Why so she can come up with a convincing alibi to get you out of there? You don’t know Toph that well do ya Zuko?
Heh, aren’t typos fun?
"Hey Sparky. Is this your ex-girlfriend or something" Toph said with a smirk.
She wishes Toph, she REALLY wishes.
Zuko face turned as red as his robe a, while Jin cheeks turned a light shade of pink.
This was not because they were embarrassed, but because they had both been given the rings of the red and pink lantern corps. This would not end well.
"NO! We went on one date two years ago, that's it! Plus, that was back when I was staying here in Ba Sing Se." Zuko said a little too quickly.
He hadn't meant to sound so harsh.
The truth hurts Mrs. Author.
When he looked over at Jin he noticed that her face which was bright and happy a minute ago was now dark and sullen.
Well what did she expect him to do? Oh right, get down on one knee and marry her. Of course.
The way he had said made it sound as if he was embarrassed to even the thought of them together.
Well maybe you should think about why he would be? Like the possibility he’s already taken.
Jin tried not to take it much to heart. Maybe this girl was his girlfriend and he didn't want to get in trouble with her. Why didn't she think of that before?
Because Jin you haven’t been thinking clearly for two years. I blame your sister.
She just walked on up to him as if the girl sitting across from him wasn't even there. Why else would this girl be sitting here? It's not like she was dating his uncle! Not wanting to seem intruding, she would introduce herself to the dark haired girl.
Careful Jin, the way Toph says hello is incredibly painful.
"I'm sorry." She said turning her attention to Toph. "I'm Jin an old friend of Li's. You're his girlfriend right?"
"Ahahahahaha, you're funny." Her laughter startling Jin
Toph than realised the girl was serious... and laughed some more.
"Me and Mr. No Backbone here are only friends. There is no way I'd be caught dead dating this guy." Toph chuckled nosily.
Zuko cried inwardly at the fact Toph had rejected him.
"His more like a big brother. I mean, have you seen what he looks like?"
Uh, neither have you Toph.
"Oh great, thanks Toph for your kind words." Zuko murmured slightly insulted.
Jin instantly felt relieved. He must be single then!
Assume too much me thinks.
"So that means your single?" Jin asked hopefully.
Smooth Jin, real smooth. Why don’t you just ask if you can get into his pants?
Instantly, Jin felt a cold shiver go down her spine. She watched as Zuko facial expression turned to one of horror.
"Actually he's not. Zuko is my boyfriend." An even voice said accusingly.
Oh Christ, everyone in this room is now gonna die... except Toph. Mai is cool with Toph.
She turned around to see a tall, pretty girl with black hair and a long red robe standing behind her with her arms crossed. Her nearly expressionless face showed little emotion besides for a slight frown of disgust she wore.
Huh, I’m surprised the author said pretty, I was sure this was gonna be the start of some Mai bashing. Unles sit’s the passive aggressive kind of bashing.
"Umm, I'm sorry, but who's Zuko?" Jin asked more confused than ever.
And welcome back to another episode of the Jerry Springer show: Avatar edition folks...
"My boyfriend. You know, the guy that you're currently talking to." Mai simply stated with a annoyed sigh.
And the dreams and hopes that Jin once held are slowly circling the drain.
Jin just stared blankly. He's name was Li not Zuko. That's what he told her the first time she came to Ba Sing Se. She turned to Zuko who seemed to be paralyzed. "You told me your name was Li." Jin said trying to keep calm.
Zuko: I say a lot of things honey, what’s in a name anyway right?
Zuko sighed. "Listen, there's a lot of me I lied to you about Jin. In fact, I think everything I told you was a lie"
You may wanna rephrase that...
The words hit Jin like a bolt of lightning. "I really am sorry. Just let me explain…"
"Forget it!" Jin yelled cutting him off. "I don't even care anymore!" Jin said blinking back tears. Jin started walking towards the door. Zuko tried to stop her by grabbing her arm, but she pulled away and ran out the door.
Well we better hide the razor blades folks.
"You stupid liar! My sister came all this way to see you again, just to find out that you had lied to her!"
Hey, you’re the one who pressured her to do it and made her dress up like a Geisha girl!
Hana grabbed his tea off the table and poured it over his head, just like she had seen in a play.
She can’t help it if she’s a thespian!
"Idiot" She muttered under her breath as she turned around. "Oh, you wouldn't happen to have a brother would you?" Zuko looked at her as if she was insane.
A fair assumption actually.
"Never mind…" she sighed sadly and ran outside to check on Jin.
Hana: Bitch, get your ass off that bridge! I still need you to work that corner!
Zuko felt awful. Not only was he now stuck in wet, sticky clothes, he had made one of the nicest, most sincere girls he'd ever meet cry. All because of a few lies he told years ago.
Sucks, but you had to realise that this was all gonna come crashing down eventually if she ever found you again right? I mean, this wasn’t an unexpected outcome.
Jin couldn't believe how stupid she had been. She knew shouldn't have came.
There’s a very lewd joke in there somewhere.
The tears that she had held inside gradually began to fall. A few minutes later her sister came out with an empty cup. She could only guess why the cup was empty.
The more important issue is the fact she stole the thing from the shop I think.
Momentarily, she felt the warmth of her sister's small delicate arms wrapping around her. Her sister's kindness made her cry harder.
"It's ok" Hana whispered softly into her ear.
Hana: We’ll find you some other hot dude with a scar to bone.
But it wasn't ok, it was far from it. Her heart felt like it had ripped from its socket. It pounded heavily like the steady beat of a drum. The salty tears from her eyes slowly crawled down her face like a caterpillar and landed on her mouth.
The tears would then cocoon themselves and after hatching fly south of the border to mate, starting the cycle of life all over again.
It hurt knowing that he had a girlfriend and felt didn't feel about her the way she felt about him.
Hey who was setting themselves up for rejection here? Let’s keep that in perspective.
But that wasn't what hurt the most. It was knowing that everything she thought she knew about him was all a lie.
"Who was that girl?" Mai asked Zuko accusingly.
Zuko now really start searching for that damn exit.
Zuko ignored Mai's question and walked outside to try to explain to Jin why he had lied.
Yeah great positioning of priorities there Zuko, ignore the fact your girlfriend just found out about a girl you used to date. Don’t alleviate her fears at all! Man why does she like you anyway?
But by the time he got outside, Jin and her sister had already left. He wasn't about to let Jin get away with thinking that he was some horrible guy who lied to her.
Dude, let it go, so one girl in the world has stopped being your fangirl. You got a million others.
No, he was going to make it up to her, somehow.
The road to adultery is paved with many good intentions.
Later that night, after all the customers and Mai had left to return home,
No doubt pissed off her husband had run after a chick he had had a fling with two years ago instead of talking to her.
Iroh approached him. "Here." He said handing Zuko two coupons. "I don't want to lose good customer because of your stupidity."
Iroh what are you blaming him for! You were lying too! You were both lying back then! You had to or you’d have been jailed!
Iroh said smiling. "She's a nice girl you know."
And that means he should dump Mai and instantly pork her instead I guess?
Zuko smiled and thanked his uncle. He knew exactly how he was going to make this up to Jin.
Jello shots and Barry white music?
Thanks for reading! Please review!
Alright, one more damn chapter and we’ll call it day.
Tears and Vows
These titles are getting more and more generic by the second.
Ch3rry: Ok I'm going to admit this one was rough. In this one I was trying to figure out where I was going with this story so this one is more of a filler.
But from now on, I got a plan in mind.
Nice to know up till this point you were just making shit up as you went.
So the next one's will be better. Also this one is kinda well depressing... for Jin anyways and sooo yeah...
Jin: In other words she made me all emo and stuff.
Ch3rry: NO I DIDN"T! Your just sad...
Hana: Ch3rry is evvvviiiiillllllll.
Disclaimer time... Ch3rry does not any of the characters besides for Hana, she also doesn't own me. She does not own ATLA.
Ch3rry: Gaara! 'hugs' You do know this is an Atla story not Naruto right.
Could we try not to remind me of Naruto, I came here to get away from that shit.
The morning after the bittersweet reunion, Zuko woke up to comforting smell of Jasmine Tea.
Which was an improvement over the smell of the manure truck outside his window.
He got up from his bed and without even bothering to change or brush his hair ,
Zuko is lazy like that and considering how much damn hair the Hippy bastard has now...
headed straight to the kitchen following the delicious mixtures of aromas signaling that breakfast was now being served. When he got to the kitchen, Mai, Toph and Iroh were already sitting around the table.
They were playing D&D, Toph’s a master DM. No one dares go off script with her around.
Iroh was eating a bowl of rice and fish, as well as Toph. Mai on the other hand skipped the rice and fish and was munching on her beloved fruit tarts, even this early in the morning.
Mai suddenly turned to the camera and said “Nothing is better in the more than Pillsbury pastry!” as part of her endorsement deal with said company.
"Firelord Zuko, good morning. It's nice to see that you can join us." Iroh said cheerfully.
Iroh: After all you are a totally lazy douchebag. Any way, we need talk about your hair...
"Morning to you to Uncle, Toph." He replied. "Mai," he whispered into her ear, "good morning beautiful." kissing her lightly on the cheek.
"Not now Zuko." Mai said irritably.
You tell him sister.
Zuko did as she said; knowing that she still must have been irritated by the encounter with Jin the day before.
Yeah and the fact you’re planning on skipping out soon to go check on another woman lends credence to the fact she has every right to be pissed off.
He was still awaiting the dreaded lecture he was sure to hear from her, which he was sure was going to happen after breakfast. If it hadn't been for Mai already being asleep by the time he got done with helping out in the tea shop, he would have gotten an earful last night.
I would’ve imagined Iroh would’ve had some words to say about the event as well, but instead he was complaining about how Zuko had lost him a customer... yeah. I guess Iroh doesn’t care if this relationship fails.
But, at the moment all that could be heard was the beautiful singing of the birds outside.
Not that beautiful, they were singing scat. It was really annoying.
The awkward silence made Zuko feel uneasy. He wished somebody would say something, anything!
Toph suddenly shouted “I like to stick carrots up my nose!” for no reason.
What? He said anything.
"Well yesterday was interesting wasn't it." Toph said breaking the silence with a smirk.
Oh that’s even better Toph, you’re awesome even in crappy fanfiction.
"Yes, interesting indeed. Zuko may I talk to you. Upstairs." Mai commanded, whipping her mouth with a napkin and getting up gracefully from the table
Mai secretly thanked Toph for reminding her of her priorities. After Zuko was done getting pinned to a dart board she’d thank her more appropriately.
Well, he wished anybody but Toph would've said something. "I'm coming." Zuko said feeling terrified inside. Here comes the lecture. Fun!
Well you should’ve thought of that before running after a girl you barely even knew after a single date.
"GOOOOOOOOOODD MORNING, JIN, MY BEAUTIFUL SISTER!" a loud girly voice woke Jin from her nightmares.
Hana also worked part time with Robin Williams at the US Army Radio station in Saigon.
"Hana, what are you doing in my room? I'm trying to sleep." Jin said groggily.
Hana: It’s time to work the corner bitch! I got clients to serve!
"It's a beautiful day! No need to waste it rotting away in your room.
Better to rot away doing more productive things in life.
Plus, I made you breakfast in bed." Hana exclaimed ripping the covers off of Jin causing the poor girl to shiver, from the sudden breeze of cold air.
Jin: Bitch! It’s negative twenty degrees out there!
"I promise I won't waste the day away, it's just that I had an awful dream and I want to go back to sleep eve it's just for ten minutes." Jin tried to reason with her sister,
If it was such a bad dream why do you want to go BACK to sleep?
while sneaking the covers back over her head. As she had told her sister most of her precious sleep had been wasted by the awful night mare of yesterday that replayed over and over in her head all night like a scratched record.
Oh god if they involve Zuko walking up to her as she’s tied up and telling her that “Things change” I’m gonna kill something.
She woke up at least four timed that night, once waking up in tears. She didn't understand how a complete idiot like Li or uh Zuko, could even interfere and corrupt her dreams.
Well it all started when he made a pact with Freddy...
"I guess I'll just eat these rice cakes and honey on my own.
Ooooh! Rice cakes! Awesome! Can we have plain white bread with tap water too?
I even have to eat the fresh fish I caught this morning all by myself just for you." Her sister sighed sadly.
Bullshit you got it at the deli, quit lying.
Jin pushed the covers off her and held out her hand. "Hand over the rice cakes!" she demanded forcefully as a Dai Li agent. She grabbed greedily for the plate in her sister hand only to have her sister hold it out evilly out of her reach.
Huh, I didn’t realise that Jin liked such bland food.
"Oh no, you need your sleep. Go ahead and rest. You can just fix yourself a bowl of rice later on." She said torturing her sister.
Oh no, don’t keep the rice away from us, this is torture, ahhh. [/sarcasm]
"Ok , ok I'll get up!" she laughed getting of the bed and lunging for the plate. Her sister played with her, keeping still keeping it out of reach. Finally, Jin expertly overpowered her and pinned expertly pinned her to the ground with one hand, holding the plate with the other.
No doubt in expertly done manner, just like this expertly done example of repetitive prose.
"Thanks for making me breakfast sis" Jin smirked, sitting on top of her sister while taking a bite of the rice cake. "Delicious"
Jin: I’m so grateful I’m gonna let you suffocate underneath my weight.
Jin got of her sister and sat on the floor, happily eating when memories of the day before crept up into her mind like a snake slowly inching towards its prey waiting for the perfect time to strike.
Jin got all her analogies from the Discovery Channel.
"I don't' understand why he lied to me." Jin said to no one in particular.
Well maybe if you let the poor bastard explain instead of going into hysterics...
Hana looked sadly at her older sister. "It doesn't matter anymore he's a jerk and you don't need him.
You were the one pushing for this relationship Hana, don’t shift blame now.
In fact after seeing him myself, he's really not all that cute. And his girlfriend, ugh, do not get me started. Did you see what she was wearing!
Hey Hana’s a shallow bitch! Wow! I never could’ve guessed that – oh wait I did
And what's up with all that red? They act as if they're Firenation or something.
Man wouldn’t it be a gas if they were?
Plus if you ask me they both need some advice in the matter of hair. He needs a haircut, and she just needs a drastic hair makeover. Humph!" Hana ranted.
Well, I agree on Zuko needing a haircut.
Jin couldn't help but giggle at her sister. Though she had to admit she found the longer hair somewhat sexy…
What is it with girls wanting guys to look like aging hippy douches?
but honestly what was the point? She would never be with him. He had lied to her and had found a new girlfriend then humiliated Jin in front of her.
Maybe you should start taking these things into consideration before obsessing over a boy you haven’t seen in two years.
The worst part was that he had still won.
She still had feelings for Li.
Why? You’ve know him for all of a few hours collectively, been separated for two years and your first meeting was a disaster. That would be enough for any girl to give up on a guy. But we’re in stupid fluffy land where love “must” conquer all even when it makes no sense.
She couldn't tell you why she did,
Neither can the author it seems.
and she couldn't tell you why she hurted like she did. Nor could she hold these feelings in any longer. A lone tear had finally broke through the iron fence gate and snaked rebelliously down her face.
yeah, we’re starting to getting into purple prose territory here.
Then another and another. She sat there, crying silently, without even making a sound. The salty water that had formed together on her chin became heavy and began to fall, slowly gravitating towards the floor.
How is that every damn story I read always has girls who are emotional basket cases over boys they barely know?
Splat. Drop. Drop. Splat. Drop. Drop. Splat. Drop. Drop. Splat. Drop. Li. Splat. Zuko. Drop. Splat. Drop. Drop. Lies. Drop. Girlfriend. Splat. Hit Gizmo. The tears continued to fall. Drop. Drop. Splat. Hit Gizmo.
Well that was entirely pointless beyond reasoning, thank you for that.
Her sister had been hypnotized by the tears,
I don’t really understand how that is possible.
but finally she broke the trance. She hated her sister this way. Jin was the stronger one.
From what I’ve seen of her in this story she’s doesn’t fit that description.
She was her older, tougher, sister. Knowing that some scarred face creep made her sister cry pissed her off yet, at the same time made her hurt with sadness.
Hana is bi-polar like that.
She couldn't stand being in the room with her sister anymore.
Bitch was killing her buzz.
She got off the floor and quietly left the room without saying a word to Jin. She would figure out some way to cheer up Jin. Maybe, even get a little revenge, maybe.
Arsenic in Zuko’s cereal could do the trick.
Either way she was going to make the thin line on her sister face curl upwards again.
Even if she had to use wires to force it.
When she got to her room, her slightly tanned legs gave up on her and she fell to the ground.
Geez Hana, you’re kind of a weakling.
She was going to repay back Jin for all the times she had supported her, and had helped her with her boy problems and all the other things that came with being a girl.
Which from what I understand consists mostly of clothes and boys... ugh.
This she vowed to do. She sat on the dusty floor with her legs pulled up to her chest and her head cradled between her knees. Her brown hair obediently following gravity orders, fell limply on each side. Then without warning a stray tear managed to escape from its imprisonment and fell to the ground. Splat.
This is the second author I found that seems to thin adding sound effects to the story is a good idea.
Mai quietly closed the door to her room once they walked inside, locking in herself and a nervous Zuko.
Bring out the whips and chains! There’s no escape now!
He looked around her temporary room. She already had laid out her knives laid out across her dresser, just waiting for some action.
That is extremely kinky... and somewhat hot.
The lights were dimmed making the room dark and ominous. He felt like a prisoner in an interrogation room, wishing that he could break through the door and escape.
Why? Anything that happens in this room is gonna be awesome!
He looked up to see her staring at him.
Mai: Your safe word is Apple Cider.
"Zuko, what happened yesterday? I want to know exactly who that girl is and why she was asking you if you were single!" Mai demanded.
A fair question, considering the implications.
Zuko looked at her blankly, not knowing what to say.
"Zuko, did you not hear me? Who was tha…"
"Her name was Jin. When me and my uncle were hiding out here in Ba Sing Se, we were working in a tea shop.
Well Iroh was working, Zuko was just complaining and hoping he could one day base a play off his experiences. He’d call it “Tea Clerks.”
One day she came into the tea sop to have some tea.
Tea at a tea shop? Who da thunk it?
Oh wait sorry, tea sop... wait... Tea bribe? That doesn’t make any sense.
Then she started coming more often, until one day she finally came up to talk to me. We went on one date. Then I never saw her again. Simple as that." Zuko explained.
Well, probably best not to mention the fact you kissed, but at least you explained most of the truth.
But it really wasn't that simple, he never actually admitted it but sometimes his mind would drift off and he would see that girl with the honey eyes.
Wow, he fantasizes about himself with other women. Who wants to bet he does that when they have sex? Mai, dump his ass.
His mind would torture him about the way he ran off like a man be pursued by a rhino.
These analogies are starting to get grating.
"Yesterday was the first time I saw her since the fall of the Earth kingdom during the war. I was shocked to see her."
"I guess I believe you. But just remember what I said after the war Zuko,
You kissed each other, you poked his chest and said “But don’t ever dump me again” and hugged. You know, like a ton of other romances that go through similar ordeals like yours in the third season.
if you ever leave me again…" Mai left the rest for him to remember.
There isn’t anything to remember. That was it, you told him not to dump you again in an assertive manner in keeping with your character, that’s it.
She opened the door and walked out of the room. "I'm going for a walk. See if anything interesting has came up here since the last time I was down here. As of now, it seems as boring as it was then." She called out from the top of the stairway.
I hear there’s a knife shop on third and fifth! Check it out! They may have some kick ass ninja merch.
Zuko sat down on her bed. He now knew that he was going to be quiet about meeting up with Jin again.
Mentioning you’re seeing another woman to your girlfriend’s face is almost as bad as going to see another woman behind her back after all... oh wait.
He was going to have to figure out a way to be as stealthy and quiet as he was back when he was… the Blue Spirit. Hmm, I think I know what I'm going to do.
Oh boy here we go again!
Don't worry Jin. I'll explain everything soon. This is my vow to you. No more lies.
This is going to end in train wreck I can tell.
Thanks for reading! Honest critiques, suggestions and compliments welcomed!
You don’t want my honest opinion.
Well, what is there to say? It’s a fluffy, stupid as fuck, meandering story, with things that while not OOC are a bit out of the ordinary for what many of these character would do, Jin is an idiot and incredibly clingy to the point it creeps me out, I really don’t like Hana and Zuko is going to start cheating on his girlfriend. Oh and the story has a lot of stupid analogies and shit. Let’s not forget, splat, splat as well.
But hey, it ain’t Ashbringer and therefore its WAY better. Which means we’ll pick this baby up next chapter. See ya then.
This post has been edited by Lizard-Man: Mar 22 2011, 07:15 PM
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Mar 22 2011, 07:17 PM
Well, we’re back again, after awhile away I’m ready to continue with this terrible Jinko fanfic. Why? Mostly because I got nothing better to do. And again, as usual, because I don’t wanna do Ashbringer. I’ve yet to find a story that actively makes me want to do Ashbringer... crawl back to it if you will and say “I’m sorry, take me back” and I doubt I will. So until I work up the nerve we’ll be looking at less head trauma inducing stories.
So, My Prince Returns, Chapters 4 and 5!
Ch3rry: YAY! Time for chapter 4! I'm so excited.
As am I. Can you not feel the barely containable thrills within my very core as we speak? Can you not see how truly wound up and totally raring to see this through? I cannot imagine a more eager and willing person than I. I can assure you that. [/monotone]
I can't wait for you to read it!
I can’t wait for the sweet release of death.
Toph: Yeah, it took you like one year to finish it.
I’d complain about her laziness, but I’ve done far worse, so I’ll let this slide.
Ch3rry: Shut up! Just like wine taste better after a longer period of time so will this chapter.
I highly doubt that, if the grapes are sour it doesn’t matter how long you wait, the wine still tastes like piss.
Zuko: You've never had wine.
Iroh: But she's has had my tea, which is a million times better.
Little does Iroh know that we’ve replaced his tea with our orchard’s finest bottle, let’s see what happens.
Ch3rry: Exactly! So take that Zuko! MWAHAHA!
Oh yes, you totally burned him.[/sarcasm] I don’t even know what kind of comeback that was supposed to be referring to. You still haven’t drunk wine. Who cares if tea is better?
Zuko: I have got to find better authors, I can’t work like this.
Jin: Anyways Ch3rry does not own me or Zuko. She also does not own ATLA.
She does however own a giant statue of Sinatra which she made entirely out of clay and LEGO bricks.
Hana: Last, but not least, Ch3rry would like to thank Sun Daughter for Betaing her work.
Whatever the fuck” Betaing” means.
She has helped in making this story even better! Enjoy!
We’ll see how much more improved it really is in a moment, I’m guessing not much.
The following two days weren't very different. Jin would stay in her depressing room all day and would lie in her bed, looking at the ceiling.
Unfortunately for her neither MCR or Good Charlotte exist in this universe so she has no music to play that can make her think a bunch no talent hack musicians understand her problems. There are still razors though
The tears had died down, because for the most part, she would curse herself for being so stupid.
So she can’t call herself stupid and cry at the same time then?
Each day, Hana would come into her room with a tray of food. Then she'd climb into Jin's cramped bed and lay there with her head resting on Jin's chest or stomach.
Okay do their parents have little to no actual involvement in their lives at all? I mean where the fuck are they in all this? Do they not care their daughters have both become morose sad sacks that stare at the ceiling all day?
They would lie there just like that, neither saying a word, but both thinking. Usually Hana would fall asleep, and then wake up before bedtime. Then she would walk sleepily to her own room.
Seems kind of a waste and a bit pointless since you’re just going back to sleep anyway. I notice you make no mention of either of them eating the food Hana brings in as well. So I can only assume there are trays upon trays of spoiled rotten uneaten food just laying strewn about that room while Jin purposelessly starves herself to death over the boy she barely even knew and hasn’t seen for years.
This morning was different.
This time they were out of OJ and Bacon, not that it matters since Jin’s on a hunger strike till Zuko loves her again.
This time Hana had been in such a deep sleep that she stayed over until morning. She realized that she had slept over when she woke to find the sun shining brilliantly through the window.
She then went blind because Hana is stupid and doesn’t understand what staring directly into the sun will do to you.
But even though she knew this, she didn't budge from the bed. She began thinking how she was fed up with her sister laying in her bed all day like a mummy in a coffin.
Well I’m glad someone is, apparently your parents don’t care if you die in your own filth.
Today she was going to get Jin out of the bed and out of the house, even if she had to pull her along in chains like a prisoner.
Pft, please, as if she’s never done that.
"Jin, Jin time to get up sis," she whispered softly.
You’re gonna have to pry her out with a crowbar I think the mattress has contorted to her shape and she’s stuck.
When Jin didn't answer she walked around to the other side of the bed, so she could see her face. Looking at her, she noticed that the honeyed eyed brunette was already awake. "Hey! Why didn't you answer me?" she asked
Punching the bitch in her face and screaming “You answer when spoken to maggot!”
brushing the wild stray pieces of hair out of Jin's face.
"Hmmm, Oh, I'm sorry about that. I didn't hear you." Jin replied flashing a fake, famous Jin smile.
[b]She has had a lot of practice pretending to like the dozens of clients Hana makes her see.
"Uh huh, Ok. Anyways, it's time to get up. You need to take a shower.
Unless you want to continue smelling like a heap of fermented garbage and shit.
Today you're going to hang out with me and my friends." Hana stated
Uh, doesn’t Jin have her own friends she can hang out with? Or is this just another case of Hana running her big sister’s life in all it’s facets?
holding Jin's hand and struggling to pull her out of the bed.
"I don't think so, " Jin responded. She removed her hand from her sister's grasp and turned over to the other side.
Jin wants to be left alone to wallow in her pity... along with any other fluids or substances that have built up over the weeks.
That's it!Hana thought annoyed. She stomped to the kitchen and grabbed a giant bowl from off the shelf. She filled it up with water until it became a miniature pool. Then walked back to her sister's room and over to Jin's bed. "This is for your own good, " she whispered quietly, and then
She tried to drown her by shoving her head face first into the bowl?
What? I’m bored! I want something interesting to happen already!
threw the entire bowl of ice cold water on Jin.
"HEY! WHAT THE HELL?" Jin yelled jumping up from the bed. The cold water woke every sense in her body and made her shiver.
"Oh great, you're up. Okay.Go take a shower
Why bother you’ve already given her one. Maybe you should’ve added soap to that bowl.
and I'll bring you something to wear after I remove these wet blankets." Hana said
Okay seriously, why does Hana practically run Jin’s life? Is her mother so neglectful and Jin so incredibly incapable of doing anything on her that she has to take charge?
completely ignoring Jin's reaction.
More than likely it probably looked something like this.
She began pulling the soiled blankets from off the bed. She could feel Jin's eyes continuing to burn a hole in her back,
Jin secretly has heat vision.
so she turned back around to look at Jin. "Go!" she shooed the cold girl out of the room.
Jin of course obeyed because she has no control over her life period.
Jin walked down the hall, violently shivering in disbelief. Her clothes clung to her like a second skin, dripping with every step she made. Her hair stuck to her face as if had been glued down.
Hot chicks in wet clothes... this story has gotten significantly more interesting.
She looked like a zombie that had come up from the depths of the sea,
If all zombies were as smoking as her half the male population wouldn’t survive the undead uprising.
for when she walked she walked like a penguin waddling from side to side.
With a little tweaking this could be an awesome strip tease scene. The author is describing Jin’s wiggling backside for us!
Waddle, waddle, waddle, step, waddle, step.
Shake that ass! But watch yourself! Shake that ass! Show me what you’re working with!
She waddled just like that all the way to the bathroom.
Dozens of lecherous menstaring at her through the window.
As soon as she closed the door, she began stripping off that wet clothes and tossed them into a pile on the floor
Fuck the pile! Get back to naked chick! This is the most interest concerning what is happening that I’ve been able to muster at any point in this story!
and turned on the water.
Now she just needs to pour expensive imported wine all over her to wash off and this thing will be almost perfect I say almost because the prose is still boring as fuck. Seriously, Jin is naked here! Work with it!
As she waited for the water to fill, she stared at her reflection in the mirror. Hana was right; she couldn't keep drowning herself in sorrow.
Chocolate fondue though, that you can drown in... what!?! This is only going to last so long before it gets back to the plot again! I have to take what I can get!
But as much as hated to admit it, it was easier said than done. Never in her whole life did she think that she would ever feel this way.
I know it’s so hard to get over a person you barely knew and hadn’t seen in years. It’s not like most women would’ve moved on by now or something. Human females tend to pick one mate for life and never reconsider it at any point ever! They become imprinted on the males you see.
She glanced over at the tub and saw that it was full. She placed one foot in, and then the other, and lowered herself into the water. The warm water put her tense muscles at ease.
Speaking of tense muscles, if the male audience is having some unexpected trouble at this point in the story please follow this advice.
She closed her eyes and put her head back soaking in every drop of water. When she heard the door creak open, she was about to object until she saw her younger sister placing clothes for her to wear on the counter.
The usual, a mini skirt with easy back door access and a practically see through fishnet top. Perfect for downtown customers.
Hana left as quickly as she had came allowing Jin to finish washing.
"Yay, you're finally ready!
Awwwwww, it’s over! LAME! She didn’t even get to the scrubbing part! Fuck you man!
Okay let's go!" Hana said tugging Jin towards out the door as soon as Jin emerged from the bathroom.
"Where are we going? Jin lamented.
Hana bitch slapped her sister “Don’t ask stupid questions bitch!” she told her “Just get me my money!”
"We're going to meet some of my friends at the market," Hana replied continuing to drag Jin along.
They had only walked for about five minutes when they made it to the market. When Hana stopped in front of two boys and then hugged one of them, Jin knew exactly what Hana had been planning on doing. She was trying to set her up on a blind double date.
Keep telling yourself that Jin. Just remember to collect the cash from the dresser after.
There was no way she was going through with this.
"Jin I want you to meet Soji. Soji meet Jin, my older sister. I think you too are around the same age."
I don’t wanna know how Hana knows boys who are considerably older than her.
Hana gently nudged Jin over towards the handsome boy.
"Umm, hi! I'm Jin," she told the boy reluctantly.
"Hey! I'm Soji!
Yes we’ve addressed that.
Your sister has told us a lot about you,
“Like how you wallow in your own filth and are incredibly clingy when it comes to boyfriends. Hmm, come to think of it why did I agree to this?”
but she must have forgot to tell us how pretty you were,"he said.
Forget it Jin, my Gaydar is going off like crazy.
"Uh huh, you too…." Which wasn't a lie, he was pretty cute. He had rugged brown hair that fell over his piercing green eyes and tan, lean muscular arms. His smile was sweet and gentle, and he was a little taller than Jin.
I guess Hana knows a few of the male models that work at Abercrombie and Finch.
"Now that we're all introduced who wants to get out of here and do something fun!" Hana exclaimed.
I smell kegger!
Zuko was ready. His plan would eventually work out foolproof.
His plan would eventually work out foolproof? You know I could point how stupid that sentence is, but I don’t think I have to. I think anyone can figure out why this is a poorly structured sentence all on their own.
All he had to do was wait for sundown to make his move,
Charlie wouldn’t know what hit them.
and slip out without having Mai or Toph notice him. He sighed. This was going to be easier said than done.
If only you had a robot double.
But it was inevitable.
Darth Sidious: It was unavoidable. It was his destiny!
He made a promise to himself and though he had not actually told her, he had also made a promise to Jin.
I’d like to point out right now how stupid and completely retarded said promise was. This also sounds like a lot of preparation when just saying “Sorry I lied, I never meant to hurt you, can we still be friends?” would suffice. Just write her a letter dude.
It wouldn't be very honorable not keep his promise.
Yes, truly the honourable thing to do in this situation is to slip out of the house under cover of darkness to see a woman you barely know or have ever interacted with while your wife sits at home unaware of your designs to meet another woman. That sounds perfectly honourable to me. And no, I don’t care about the context, it sounds sleezy no matter how you say it!
Especially as Firelord, but then again, if he got caught, it wouldn't look to good either.
I’m sure the general public will understand why you snuck out of the embassy to see some Earth Kingdom common woman and find it completely reasonable as to why you kept said action secret from your wife. I don’t see any problems that could arise from this at all!
It didn't matter though, because he wasn't going to get caught. Tonight he was going to make things right.
He’s gonna make (clap clap) make it right! He’s gonna take a little time and set things straight!
"So have you decided what you want to eat yet?" Jin asked attempting to make some sort f conversation.
Several years of not dating have caused her to wonder exactly what she is supposed to say. “You have nice eyelashes” and “I like your trousers” aren’t exactly big conversation starters.
After browsing the streets for most of the day,
We could’ve eaten hours ago, but NOOOOO! Apparently KFC isn’t “healthy enough” or some bullshit. Pft, women.
Hana suggested that they should all go eat dinner. But when they arrived at the restaurant, Hana and the other guy with her evilly deserted them;
The biggest clues to said evilness of action was the fact they kept ”Mu-ha ha”ing as they left while stroking their Persian cats. They also executed a flunky or two on their way to the door.
Personally I think they just wanted to stiff them with their cheque.
leaving Jin to eat alone with Soji, which was probably Hana's plan from the beginning.
She’s probably sitting in outside with earphones, eyes glowing red, beaming with elation at how everything has gone according to her master scheme.
She probably expected for them to start talking, realize they have some sort of connection and fall madly in love, knowing Hana.
So step 1: Get them alone. Step 2: Hope they start talking. Step 3: ??? Step 4: Profit?
Yeah, with this and how things with Zuko went Hana’s plans suck balls don’t they?
No such thing. Instead it was just awkward and silent, though Jin had to admit Soji was being ever the sweetest gentleman.
He’s just waiting for your legs to open sweetie.
"I'll probably just get a bowl of Gyudon, Soji replied flashing her that blinding gentlemanly smile and signaling the waiter. "Tell me, Jin, what do you like to do in your spare time?"
Cry herself to sleep, let her sister control her life and build shrines to boys she’s barely known all of six hours out of her excrement.
"I love music. I love feeling the rhythm and just moving to the sounds.
She’s a maniac, MANIAC on the floor! And she dances like she’s never danced before!
I also like to sing.
She knows all the words the Ducktales theme song!
What about you? What does Soji like to do?" Jin questioned.
Soji: You actually.
"Hmm, I like to play and take care of animals.
The less said about that the better.
That's why I love the circus. But what I like most is juggling!" Soji explained excitably
Well shit, I know where this is going.
On hearing those words Jin froze. Her mind raced back to the time of her and Lizuko's first date. She remembered him telling her that he was part of a traveling circus. She was so excited hearing that. She loved the circus! Her favorite part was the jugglers.
Especially the chainsaw acts.
That's why as soon as he said he was part of a circus, she instantly saw him as being a juggler and asked him if that's what he did. And when he replied yes, she had to have him juggle for him, which he failed miserably at.
That’s putting it rather mildly.
Maybe that's because he lied about that too she began to think.
Thank you for reviewing information I already know by the way. We really needed to be reminded of that.
With all these thoughts and re-aroused feelings she started feeling nausea. Her stomach swirled in circles spinning this way and that.
Quick, get pepto bismol! Stat!
"Jin, you okay?" Soji asked interrupting her thoughts.
"What?" Jin looked up to see Soji's worried expression. "Oh, I'm fine. I just need some fresh air." She excused herself and ran outside, ignoring Soji pleas to wait.
Well buddy, you’re not getting laid tonight. Don’t worry, it ain’t your fault. She has major fucking issues concerning her OCD concerning guys she hasn’t seen for three years.
She didn't stop when she arrived outside and the cool refreshing air hit her like a wave. No, instead she kept running. She ran past all the little shops and cafés.
She ran! She ran so far away!
Past all the houses and buildings until she arrived at a place she hadn't been since that last kiss.
When she arrived at the fountain the lanterns were already lit. The fire reflected off the water and sparkled just like it did that night. She stepped closer to the fountain and looked at her reflection in the water and saw a sad lonely tear running treacherously down her face.
I feel the need to start playing the world’s smallest violin accompanied by Good Charlotte’s “How could this happen to me?”
She ran her hand through the water and watched as her sudden moment caused ripples in the water and in her reflection.
Jeff Goldblum: That’s, that’s chaos theory.
As the water calmed and her reflection returned she smiled. The smile was small and soft, but still it was a smile. It was the first genuine smile she had made for a long time. It wasn't to make anyone happy or to fake her happiness, but instead, it was a genuine smile.
So Jin’s bi-polar then? This explains a lot.
She placed a small foot on the ledge of the fountain and pulled herself up. Slowly, she raised herself up until she was standing straight. The soft breeze dried whatever tears was left, and made her feel refreshed. Her soft smile gradually grew a little bigger.
Jin: Top o’ the world ma!
The sound of crickets and other things created a soft rhythm, a beat that flowed throughout Jin making her sway back and forth. She began to lightly stomp her feet in place, and attempted to turn in place, totally forgetting about the narrow ledge.
Snap, crackle, pop don’t just apply to cereals when you think about it for a second. It applies to this situation too.
"Crap!" Jin exclaimed as she realized her mistake a second to late as she slipped and started to fall. She closed her eyes, awaiting the cold water when a pair of strong arms grabbed her by the waist causing her to release a small gasp. The arms pulled her back up to the ledge, but didn't release her just yet.
Said hands had darker plans for her!
Instead, they continued to hold her in place. She looked down at the big hands keeping her from falling and saw that they were gloved in black material.
Ah, Good Samaritan ninjas, of course!
She tried to turn her head around to see who her savior was, but whoever it was wouldn't allow it.
What is he holding her head in a vice grip or something?
"I appreciate you saving me from another bath, but will you please let me go? she said. Not knowing who was holding on to her like that made her feel uneasy, and she began to struggle. For all she knew it could be some crazy man.
Well this little fountain is a bit like a lover’s lane sorta place. I guess an escaped mental patient lurking around there would make sense. Problem is he doesn’t have a hook for a hand.
For a second it seemed that her request would be ignored, but then she felt herself being lifted off the ledge and the placed back on solid ground. As soon as her feet touched Earth she whirled around to see a not a human face, but a mask staring straight into her eyes.
"Who… who are you!"
No seriously it’s Zuko.
DUN DUN DUN
Who is this mysterious person behind the mask!
The Lone ranger!
MWAHAHA I'll never tell!
You don’t need to, it’s Zuko. You’re an idiot if you think we’re honestly going to ask that question.
Anyways thanks for reading and please review!
Well let’s see the next chapter then. I mean might as well, we don’t have anything better to do right?
Ch3rry: Hey everybody sorry for the long wait.
Not long enough where I’m standing.
Ch3rry: Why are you guys always so mean to me!
It’s relatively easy lady.
Jin: We aren't...
Zuko: Well you're the one making me look like some stalker person!
That’s a good point, but you left out adulterer as well.
Ch3rry: Zuko Shhh! They don't know that yet.
We’re not blind author, we already know where this generic story is heading.
Zuko: We'll they'll see for themselves in a minute. Ch3rry does not own A:tla. Ok now read!
No, I won’t, how ya like them apples? You can’t do anything about it either. I can just not read this and you can’t stop me. There! Sucks don’t it?
Oh alright, I’ll read it.
The sun is setting. I better act now.
The announcer said it was only a limited time offer!!!
He must be watching a Disney Channel Original movie. My guess, anything with fucking Lizzie McGuire.
"Zuko what's wrong?"Iroh ran over to his nephew upon hearing his distress.
Zuko winced and massaged his temples.
Has the fanfic finally given you a headache Zuzu?
"Zuko, Zuko are you ill?" Iroh repeated gently placed his hand on his nephew's shoulder.
You should’ve checked the date of the meat on the packet.
Mai got up from her chair and walked over to her boyfriend. "Zuko," she said placing a long, delicate hand on his shoulder. "Maybe you should get some rest."
Geez, he makes one little groan and suddenly you think he’s got cholera, take a chill pill.
"Oh no, It's just a headache. Ugh. But maybe your right, a little sleep might be helpful." He lamented getting up from the table. "Goodnight everyone."
So long! Farewell! Auf wiedersehen! Goodbye!
He turned away and headed to his room while pretending not to notice Toph's questioning looks.
Toph, the human bullshit detector.
As soon as he closed the door to his room he locked it. Glancing suspiciously around the room like a criminal on the run,
Like a pig from a gun see how he flies.
he walked over to his bed. He got on his knees and grabbed a box he had hidden under it.
Who wants to bet it’s full of drugs and at any second a bunch of cartoon characters from the early 90’s are gonna pop up to tell him why doing drugs is wrong?
He held the black box with the Firenation emblem on the top close to his chest as if it was a child.
Well maybe if Mai put out a little more he’d have a real child to do it to, don’t judge him!
Then the young, fiery boy walked over to a spot in the room where a wooden plank was a little loose and then lifted it revealing a small hole. Inside the hole was a small, gold key.
You have a rather elaborate little self serving security system here. Have you ever heard of rope Zuko? Just wear the key on your person and tie to your friggin pants somehow. Also why do you keep your Blue Spirit stuff at what I assume is your room at Iroh’s tea shop? Seems like a rather convenient place to store your shit man.
He grabbed it and then used it to unlock the box. Once he had it unlocked, he sat there without moving; no longer sure he should go on with the plan.
Nonsense Zuko, you’re only lying to your girlfriend so you can skip out and see another girl for reasons that don’t make any sense. What’s wrong with that?
There you go breaking your promise and betraying another girls trust. Again.
Which girl are you talking about? Mai or Jin? Because I think that applies more to the girl he’s currently in a relationship with.
You make me sick. I though you loved honor. Honor my butt!
"Shut up Katara!" Zuko said aloud.
I like randomly speaking to people I know in my head too, doesn’t mean I’m crazy... just eccentric.
Ever since the water bender and he had become friends, she had become his confidant and that annoying little angel on his left shoulder, well sometimes she was the angel.
Other times she was just there telling him that some people called Dragovich, Kravchenko and Steiner needed to die for some reason and she kept saying it in a thick Russian accent.
He could see her now. If he told her that he had lied to an innocent, sweet girl who truly liked him and then did nothing about it. She'd probably bloodbend him into a pretzel and feed him to Appa.
And what exactly should Zuko have done instead? Tell her he was a Firebender? Yeah that would’ve gone over well in the middle of a frickin war! That’s like a Nazi Spy flat-out telling the American girl he’s dating what he actually does for a living, suicidally stupid. I would imagine Jin would find such a line of reasoning completely reasonable. Besides, Iroh lied too no one is chewing him out! Not to mention Katara lied plenty of times to the people of the Fire Nation when she was undercover there.
I’d think Katara would be more pissed off with the fact you’re skipping out on your girlfriend to see some other chick! Just write her a letter! Send a card if you’re so bloody ashamed of it!
Zuko shivered at the thought.
Katara is right. I've already hurt her enough.
You haven’t hurt Mai AS much though, so obviously you must balance the hurt out.
With that line of thinking he slowly open the box. He looked inside. It was all there, the black, ninja-style clothing perfect for stealth and the mask.
Zuko was in reality Snake Eyes.
Last time he was here he had thrown his beloved blue spirit mask into the water.
You make it sound like it was his childhood friend or blankie that way.
Supposedly, it was washing away his old life.
I thought it was letting go of his crazy obsessive self-destructive stupidity? But then again considering season 2’s finale...
But a year back he had seen one at a festival. He had to have it for old time's sake, so he bought it.
Zuko you have a problem, that marks the third time you’ve bought the same mask just cause you saw it in the market. What is with your fetish pertaining to kybuki theatre play masks?
As soon as he returned home, he locked it up with the rest of his things from his old life for safe keeping.
Why exactly? You know, besides plot contrivance?
Zuko quickly threw on the dark material and placed the mask on his face. He looked at his dear swords and hesitated. He was going to give her a message not rob her.
Well I don’t know, he could do both. He doesn’t need his swords, he just needs quick hands and a knowledge of where she keeps her money.
Carefully he made his way out the window, trying his best not to alarm anyone.
He made his way silently through the town, avoiding people's suspicion.
I hope his path is via rooftops and back alleys, otherwise I don’t think he is going to retain stealth all too well. Especially with a bright blue mask.
That's the whole reason why he was wearing the mask. If people recognized the Firelord of the Firenation talking to another woman, he would be in big trouble.
Really? NO! I thought he was just making a fashion statement!
Mai was already suspicious as it is. He wouldn't want to create the wrong idea.
What wrong idea? That you’re sneaking out to see some girl behind your girlfriend’s back? How could anyone confuse that action with some kind of malicious intention?
Well, at least you acknowledge that this whole plan seems a bit stupid given that context.
"Okay, now what Zuko?" he said to himself once he reached his final destination, the fountain.
Yes, exactly what is your plan? Show up in a ninja suit and do an interpretive dance that explains how sorry you are? If even you don’t know what you’re gonna do why did you come up with this plan? How do you know she’s even going to be here!
It was here that Jin kissed him and it was the last time he saw her until the recent incident at the shop. Now he could only wait and hope for her to return here again.
So you don’t if she’s even gonna be here. What happens if she doesn’t show up? Are you just gonna say “well shit I tried” and leave? Honestly, I don’t see how any of this can’t be accomplished by just sending her a “I’m sorry I fucked up and lied” letter!
Zuko walked around the fountain. Something was missing. The lanterns they weren't lit, just like last time. It looked like he was going to have to use a little firebending to get them lit.
Why? Is there any particular reason you HAVE to do this?
First, he glanced around to make sure no one was watching. Then, in a couple of swift firebending moves the lanterns were lit. Jin was right; they really did sparkle in the most beautiful way.
I’m guessing you were focused on other things that night besides the lanterns, otherwise why else would only be noticing this now. I don’t blame you Zuko, Jin does have huge... tracts of land.
The faint sound of somebody running caused Zuko to go back into stealth mode again.
What? Did turn on his cloaking device or something?
He quickly hid behind the closest building and watched to see who the unsuspecting visitor was.
To further obfuscate his hiding spot he also put a bunch of branches over his head.
It was her, Jin. He knew that she wouldn't be here.
But... she is here. Look she’s right there. Your sentences contradict one another.
Hooray for lack of proper spell checking! Once again it offers so much enjoyment
But he wasn't going to greet her just yet.
Mostly because I assume he doesn’t have any real plan and he’s just making this shit up as he goes.
He would wait for the right time.
At the moment she looked upset, a stray tear was falling down her face. He wanted to come out of hiding and wipe it off her face.
Usually at this point I’d tell the character in question to just do her already... but I’m reminded that Zuko is already dating someone and I can’t condone adultery. All I can say is that Zuko is tetering on theedge of becoming a total cheating douche.
Then suddenly, she started smiling. It was a delicate smile, but it was there and it was beautiful. She was beautiful. What was he thinking? He had a girlfriend; he shouldn't be going around thinking another girl was pretty.
Oh look, you still have an actual brain, I was starting to wonder considering everything that has happened up til this point.
He really was an idiot, but he couldn't help it.
His other head was thinking for him.
Entranced, he watched her climb onto the ledge of the fountain and then slowly moved her body to the rhythm of nature.
Oh Jesus Christ, if a bunch of fucking cute little forest animals show up I’m done.
He hadn't notice that he had begun to move out of his hiding place,
Jacking off will tend to make you lose a sense of positioning like that.
but a few seconds later he was grateful he did. Jin was so preoccupied and lost in her dancing the she attempted to turn, totally forgetting where she was.
I don’t even know where I am right now.
To Zuko's horror she missed her footing and began to fall. Zuko sprang into action. He quickly grabbed Jin by her waist and then gently pulled her back up to the ledge. He tried to let go of her once she was steady on her own two feet, but his body wouldn't allow.
Please do not speak about your body refusing to let go of the girl you have grabbed around the waist... it is somewhat disturbing given this context.
Also, this may have something to do with that tent being pitched in your pants.
Her sweet smell was intoxicating.
And the creepy levels have just risen exponentially.
Every curve of her body fit perfectly in Zuko's. They were like two pieces of a puzzle and they fit just right together.
And with that double entendre, which may or may not be intentional I cannot be sure, the creepy levels have just gone into the red. If you can’t figure out for yourself, imagine a puzzle piece. Now what must exist on both sides for puzzle pieces to fit together? An empty space... and jutting little bump that stands out from it. Do the math and now you will never be able to think of that Barney Puzzle from your childhood the same way ever again.
"I appreciate you saving me from another bath, but will you please let me go." Jin pleaded.
Disappointed Zuko unconsciously ignored her,
Okay this is starting to get seriously wrong... please stop.
but then realized how she must have felt to have some random person holding on to her. So, he carefully lifted her off the ledge and placed her on the ground in order to prevent another accident.
Well at least Zuko knows no means no.
"Who… who are you! The girl exclaimed loud enough for the whole block to hear.
Already made that joke.
Zuko placed a finger to her lips in hopes of silencing her.
More bad touches.
"Don't shush me; I swear if you don't take of that mask I'll scream!" Jin threatened and backing away from her mysterious savior.
Some gratitude, bitch. Next time we’ll just let ya break your neck.
Zuko grabbed her arm and placed his gloved hand over her mouth,
This plan to apologize is going REALLY well so far Zuko, this is much better than a letter I can tell.
only to be kicked in his happy place right in between his legs.
Jin: That’s my purse! I don’t know you!
Jin smirked as she watched him fall to his knees. While he was down, she decided it would be a good time to run and started to take off.
Though he was in pain, he was not going to let her get away.
This is the thought process of a mugger, not a person trying to apologize. Clearly Zuko has no idea what he is doing.
He struggled to stand up and then sprinted off after her. Quickly, he caught up to her and then stood in her way. She had run into a little pathway between two buildings and was now trapped.
What exactly is the thought process of women when they’re being chased? Or people in general now that I think about it. “Oh no I’m getting chased! Do I stay on this out in the open expansive area here in the middle of the road or do I hightail it into a cramped, possibly dead end alleyway where there is less room to manoeuvre and possibly no escape!
Okay… this can't be happening.
What did you think was gonna happen when you grabbed her like a crazy man? She was gonna give ya flowers?
She was stuck in between three walls and a crazy masked man.
Oh um... we’re in Jin’s perspective now... kay... could use some warning next time.
If he tried anything she would have to kick, scratch and do anything she had to do to get away.
Remember your self defence classes Jin! Jab the eyes out!
She closed her eyes and waited for the inevitable, but nothing happened. Just as quick as he had caught up to her, he had left.
I thought you weren’t going to let her get away Zuko? What did you realise you were an idiot chasing after her?
She looked around to see if he was hiding somewhere, yet all she saw was a lily and a letter on the ground.
Zuko waited from the shadows as she picked up the flower and letter he placed on the ground. Then as she ran off, he knew it was time for him to retire as well.
Zuko: I’m getting too old for this shit.
Once she reached her house, she quickly went to her room and closed the door. She carefully placed the flower on a shelf and then sat on her bed to read the letter.
It read “You may already be a winner...
First off, I apologize if my masked friend spooked you.
Oh why would anyone be scared of a masked man who grabs your arm and tries to keep you from screaming?
I wanted him to deliver this note to you.
Wait! You mean this was your way of delivering the girl a friggin letter? Retard, have you ever heard of a postal service? Oh what’s that you don’t know where she lives? Well look her up genius! I’m sure this city has a directory of some sort!
There are a few things I need to tell you. I'm sorry for lying to you and for, well, being an idiot. I cannot explain to you everything in this letter.
Uh, yes you can. Just say “I was hiding out in this city, I didn’t want to get thrown into jail for being a Firebender, I’m sorry I have a girlfriend, I didn’t mean to hurt you, let’s just be friends.” See easy!
So, I request your presence for dinner at our usual meeting place, the fountain. Please meet me after sundown four days from now.
Why the fountain? Just ask her to return to the Jasmine Dragon and have tea with you, your Uncle and your girlfriend so you can all explain everything and hopefully work this shit out. You know, instead of GOING BEHIND MAI’S BACK AND POTENTIALLY LOOKING LIKE A CHEATING DOUCHE!
Enjoy your flower. It requires love and water.
It also requires a brain, one that Zuko does not possess.
Jin threw the letter on the ground as if it was a piece of hot coal. There was no way, no way that she was going to meet anybody especially Zuko, anywhere.
Hey he said sorry, what do you want? Fine whatever, she’s being a bitch. Guess that means the story is over now.
He had done it! He delivered the note,
In the most convoluted and idiotic way.
and even managed to sneak back in without getting caught. For his reward,
That implies you deserve one ya borderline cheater.
he was going to get ten hours of peaceful, uninterrupted sleep
"Hey Sparky. Did you have fun?" a voice said.
Sitting on his now messy bed, with her feet planted on the ground was Toph Bei Fong.
Hopefully she pounds you head in for being a dumbass. I know I would.
Well that was a shit couple of two chapters. I hope you enjoyed seeing the stupidest and consequently cheesiest apology attempt ever made. What happens in the next chapter you ask? I don’t know I haven’t read it yet. To be completely honest I don’t give a shit. I can only expect more disturbing sexual imagery and stupid as fuck plans on Zuko’s part. This story still hasn’t made me want to go back to Ashbringer, but it’s starting to push it.
Anyway, how can we close off today? Oh I know, a lesson in self defence! Hell it worked for Jin... sorta.
This post has been edited by Lizard-Man: Mar 27 2011, 09:06 PM
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Apr 20 2011, 03:38 PM
Hopefully today won’t be another day Al decides to post another mock chapter cause we seem to have a troublesome pattern of getting our work out the door on the same day. Any who... on with our tale. Last we left Zuko Toph had caught him in the middle of his poorly conceived retarded as fuck plan.
Friends and Family
Zuko: Hey Zuko here.
Ch3rry: Hey guys! There are going to be a lot of guests in this one!
Guest stars! Oh boy! Those always push up the ratings a bit!
Ch3rry: Are you still angry about Toph and Katara?
Ch3rry: I told you Katara is not flirting! They're just friends. I can't help but satisfy my Zutara need. I still love you.
Huh, this is a first for me in this fanfic mocking business, an open minded shipper! Well at least with Jin, still not sure about Mai. Still, this information will probably make me go easier on her. Maybe.
Zuko: Hehe, I'm a pimp!
No you’re still behind Sokka, Katara and Ty Lee in that department on this show son.
Ch3rry: Shut up! 'hits zuko across his head with a metal pan'
Why didn’t someone do that before he decided to dress up like a ninja and accost young girls to deliver love notes.
Zuko: Why does everyone always abuse me.
Ch3rry does not own Avatar:TLA, but she does own Hana and Soji.
To her detriment no doubt as the characters are both horribly bland as tapioca.
"Hey Sparky. Did you have fun?"
Zuko froze at Toph's words. His flawless plan
HA! Keep telling yourself that. We both know that ain’t true.
had now come to an crashing end. How was he going to get pass her?
Well you could always do a fakie move to the left and then bolt right straight on to the end zone...
"Yep! I sure did. Just took a little walk" He said. He stretched his arms and twisted his body as if coming from a jog.
If you had a running suit on she’d probably buy it better... but she’s blind so she couldn’t see it. Hmm, just burned myself. I guess Zuko was screwed no matter what.
"Liar." Toph said with an air of sinister.
This was going to be difficult. Zuko forgot about Toph's special little ability for a second. So of course she was going to know he was lying. He needed to come up with a better plan.
Packing up and moving to Mexico should do the trick.
"Ok so I wasn't walking. I was… I was…."he mumbled.
Getting take out? There’s a pizza parlour right round the corner, just opened, makes awesome pies.
Toph got up from Zuko's comfy bed and marched over to him. With one hand on her curvy hip and the other stabbing into his chest he demanded a truthful answer, "Spill it hothead! No more lying either! You're a horrible liar. Even without my feet I would know that you aren't telling the truth."
Topg is right you are pretty transparent Zuko, remind us again why you thought this plan was flawless? Or was that the narrator being sarcastic?
Seeing no way out, Zuko gave in. "Fine," he sighed in defeat, "I went out to give something to someone."
“I had to fill Jimmy the Snitch with lead so he wouldn’t squeal!”
What you could fill in a dozen blanks with that.
Toph raised her eyebrows intrigued. She circled him like a predator circling its prey.
Here we the infamous Blindus Banditus circle her most common prey, Idioticus Princeucus, any moment she will jump on him and tear into his flesh. Providing her and her young must sustenance for the coming dry season for weeks on end, the circle life will continue.
Wait... that sorta sounds like a Toph/Zuko fanfic... ugh.
A smirk painted on her face. He was in her mercy. For a fifteen year old, she was pretty intimidating.
Well she can bench press a mountain and tear your head off. That and she is the Melon Lord.
That joke makes more sense if you saw the show.
She may have been even more intimidating than his sister, Azula.
I wouldn’t go that far considering Azula is batshit insane.
She stopped walking after circling him twice. Standing towards him at an angle she balanced herself on her toes. Leaning towards his ear
Okay this is REALLY starting to sound like a Toph/Zuko fanfic. Did I click on the right link?
she said, "And who is this someone?"
"A friend." Zuko responded.
Zuko: He’s Strupelnupplegus, a purple rhino. I was bringing him tea.
Toph yanked on his long, black hair. "Be specific Zuko. It wouldn't happen to be that girl who came in the shop the other day?" she interrogated.
And now I’m thinking of Toph speaking in Keith Sutherland’s voice, demanding where the bomb is, threatening to kill him if he doesn’t say anything...
"Maybe. Why are you bothering with this anyway." He yelled. He spun around to face her.
Cause if it’s Jin and you snuck out to see her, what exactly does that suggest to people? THINK McFly! THINK!
"I don't know. Maybe, it's because you pretended you had a headache, which I did not fall for. All so you can sneak out to give something to some girl.
Now Toph just needs to start smacking him on the head while saying “Hello! Hello!” and call Zuko a butthead when she leaves. Then my nerdgasam will be complete.
Weren't you supposed to be proposing to Mai before you leave?"Toph countered.
Holy shit Zuko, seriously? You’re gonna be making Mai your fiancée and you’re worried about what one girl thinks of you? Oh my God, you are officially a douchebag. You’re semi-cheating on your girlfriend by going behind her back on this and playing with both hers and Jin’s heartstrings at the same time. I didn’t think it was possible to lose sympathy this fast but bravo, you proved me wrong.
"I know, I know." He said walking around and throwing his hands in the air. "The thing is, I wronged Jin. So I have to make it up to her."
Does that really require you to go behind your girlfriend and soon to be fiancée’s back to do that? I mean how hard would it be to apologize by explaining you were a firebender and if you told her the truth you would’ve been sent to jail? One letter, thats all. Done. Apology accepted and if not, who cares? One girl doesn’t like you anymore, big deal.
Smiling Toph punched him in the shoulder.
"Ow!" Zuko exclaimed massaging his shoulder.
Toph wrapped her arm around his neck. "You're a good guy Zuko.
No, no it isn’t.
Just make sure you don't break one girls heart, while trying to fix the other."
THAT is actually good advice and makes sense! What are the odds he doesn’t listen to it?
Zuko looked at Toph like she was crazy. That was definitely not the words he expected from her.
Why cause she’s Toph? Honestly I’d expect anyone to tell me that if I was pulling something this stupid.
"Toph, please stop. I really don't need another Katara in my head." He said unwrapping himself from Toph.
It’s crowded enough in there already with all the voices telling him to burn things.
"You have a little Katara voice in your head too? Isn't it annoying? Always trying to get me to do the right thing." Toph complained.
Katara, the Jiminy Cricket of the Avatar world.
She yawned. It was getting late and she was tired. Slapping him hard in the back she said, "Anyways, I know you'll do the right thing,
He hasn’t yet.
but for the moment I'm going to get some sleep."
"Want me to walk you to your room?" Zuko asked.
I think the Zuko/Toph undertones quota for this chapter have been filled. Besides, you have enough problems with Mai not knowing about Jin. You don’t need a second person to see behind her back.
After joining the Gaang, Toph had become like a little sister he never had. He had Azula, but he was happy to have a sister that didn't want to literally kill him.
That’s just Azula’s way of showing she loves things.
Sure she was a little too physical,
What did I say about the undertones! I thought you considered her as a sister dude! God!
but she wasn't totally evil.
Just slightly. Very slightly.
So he was always looking out for her safety. Toph found it to be extremely annoying at times, especially when he started acting overprotective.
This especially true when one thinks about how many times Toph has been the one saving the group’s collective asses half the time.
His brotherly instincts forgot that she didn't like being babied. That being the whole reasons she left her parents.
"Zuko how many times have I told you I don't need your help to…."
"Okay, okay I'm sorry." He said.
Zuko: I don’t wanna hear about how your late night activities again Christ!
"Goodnight and thanks."
"No problem." She smirked.
Zuko watched her leave.
How did she get in here in the first place?
He walked towards the door to inspect it. Seeing that the lock was broken he didn't need to wonder how anymore. She had obviously metalbended it open.
Was that really a question we needed answered?
After he put away his mask and gear he went over to the window to close it. He hesitated, the soothing sounds of nature and cool breeze emerging from the window stopped him. He decided that he would leave the window open for the night. Looking up at the brilliancy of the moon and the dancing stars he could only wish he was doing the right thing.
Tiredly, he walked over to his bed and pulled back the blanket. Sleep decided to play a game of keep away with Zuko that night. There was something eating at him. Some feeling he couldn't shake. All he could think about was the way he felt with Jin wrapped in his arms.
Well the douchebag levels are rising even further and even more interesting he’s ignoring Toph’s advice. Told ya it wouldn’t stick.
"Sooo, he sent a crazy blue masked dude to send you a message." Hana said
"Yep." Jin replied.
"Why didn't he just tell you in person?" Hana asked wearing a confused look on her slightly tanned face.
Cause the author is an idiot who couldn’t figure out a way to get Zuko from point A to point B without him looking like a complete shithead.
That's the exact thing Jin had been wondering all night. Why would he go through all that trouble of hiring a masked man? Was he trying to scare her half to death?
It’s interesting to see an author point out how stupid her entire plot sounds and how retarded it makes the characters look. Now it may have been her intention in the end for Zuko to actually go through with his stupid plan for comedic purposes, but even Zuko wouldn’t so stupid as to think dressing up like a ninja to deliver a note was a good idea! And if everyone else is going around pointing out why it’s stupid it further illustrates the problem for the reader.
"I don't know." Jin answered
Niether do I, Zuko’s brain is running on fumes I guess.
"Well, I don't know why you even like him. Wait, I saw what he looks like. The gold eyes, the jet black hair, those yummy shou…."
"Hana!" Jin interrupted.
Hana stopped midsentence. "Yeah?"
Jin: Stop mentally masturbating ya whore.
"Zip it!"Jin commanded. She didn't need any reminders of how adorable he was.
The description of Zuko Hana gave isn’t what I’d call adorable. Manly, handsome, but not adorable. That’s Aang’s shtick.
She was trying to convince herself not to meet up with him. Talking about how cute he was, would not help her.
So you’re not even going to try and hear him out on his apology? Bitch. Why is Zuko so worried about losing YOUR approval again?
"So are you going?" Hana asked if reading her sister's mind.
Jin: I don’t want explanations! I prefer being angry at him for no reason at all without hearing his side of the story!
Hana gasped in astonishment. Then with an evil smirk she said, "Oh right, I forgot. You like Soji don't you? In fact last night was so magical that you ran crying out of the restaurant to go talk to Prince Charming's henchmen, leaving my poor friend to pay for a dinner you didn't eat."
Dick move there by the way.
Jin frowned. Last night was so crazy that she had completely forgotten about her blind date."Ouch. Sorry about that." she said,"Um, he was nice."
You know with that attitude you’re going to lose your one chance of getting laid. Listen to Doctor Zoidberg on this one.
Laughter erupted from her sister's throat. Hana patted Jin's shoulder in reassurance. "No worries, no worries. Pumpkin will take care of Soji"
He’ll be buried under sic feet of cement by tomorrow.
Jin giggled. Pumpkin was the nickname this week for Hana's new boyfriend.
Boyfriend is another name for groupie. Told ya she was a whore.
He was also the other guy they hung out with the day before.
Information we did not need, thank you.
"I on the other hand, will be preparing you for your date with Li. I mean Zuko… Lizuko." She rambled.
"Hey! I already told you. I am not going, and it is not a date. Remember he has a girlfriend." Jin explained.
I don’t think Hana was paying attention to the goth looking ninja chick, I think she was more focused on the crotches of all the guys in the room.
Hana thought about it carefully. Then her face lit up with excitement.
"Maybe it's just a decoy, to keep crazy girls away from him. He probably has a lot of trouble with fangirls, do to all his smex!"
Do I even need to explain all the reasons that is the dumbest explanation anyone could come up with for excusing Mai’s presence. Hana is a complete and total idiot.
Jin pretended to think about it thoroughly. "That would definitely explain things. He probably unleashed her when he saw you walking up with me." Jin countered.
I really hope that’s sarcasm.
"Yeah! Wait. Are you calling me crazy Jin?" Hana replied.
Smiling Jin said, "Yes, yes I am."
Crazy and mentally retarded.
"They both laughed. Hana got up from her seat on the cold floor and tackled Jin into a hug.
Hana used Spontaneous show of Affection! It’s Super Effective!
It was such a great feeling to have her sister somewhat back. Jin was smiling and laughing. All Hana had to do now was get Jin to that date.
Hana, home-wrecker enabler!
"Wake up my wee, wittle, Firelord." A voice called out to Zuko in his sleep.
Oh uh, I think the Demoman from TF2 has tracked down Zuko and is about to blow him into little chunks!
He waved his hand to dismiss the unfortunate victim. As he did so, his hand clanked against an object in the person's hand.
"Zuko!" an angry voice shouted.
Zuko raised himself to a sitting position. He attempted to open his eyes without much success. He rubbed them like a child waking from a nap and fluttered them open. What he saw was a tanned girl dressed in blue. Her hair was dripping wet, and she was obviously not amused.
Kinda like this!
Rice and pieces of fruit and fish littered the floor.
Kinda like my brother’s room.
"Katara?" Zuko questioned sleepily.
"Unfortunately, yes." Katara grumbled.
Then she brought out and axe from behind her back and declared Zuko to be the final sacrifice to Yog Soggoth!
"Oh, sorry about the mini shower." He apologized.
Maybe she shouldn’t have put the tray so close to the sleeping guy, I mean you couldn’t have known how he reacted. Did you expect him not to move his arms out suddenly?
He lifted the blanket off of him revealing his toned abs,
Why’d you feel the need to write that? Oh right, Zutarian, this is the closest you’re gonna get to a scene like that in this story.
and then sat with his feet dangling off the bed.
"It's fine, it's fine." She reassured. Katara waterbended the jasmine tea out of her hair and clothes. "I'm so thankful that I'm a waterbender."
It ain’t all sugar and roses Katara, waterbenders tend to get mobbed by fans who want to pair them up with everyone and their grandmother.
Zuko started laughing. Splattered all over her face and hair were white specs of rice. Katara gave a puzzled face, unsuspected to the food.
Why would the food suspect anything? That’s a weird sentence. Why not just write “not realising what she was covered in.
"What!" Katara demanded.
"You have rice all over you." He laughed. Katara franticly began pawing at her face causing Zuko to laugh harder. "Too bad you can't ricebend, get it ricebend."
You suck Zuko. This is why they kicked you out of the comedy club.
"Hilarious, instead of being Firelord, you should go into comedy."Katara said sarcastically.
Katara: You’re a funny guy Zuko, that’s why I kill you last.
Frowning Zuko patted the sit next to him motioning for her to sit down. "Your evil you know that. Anyways, I'll clean the mess up.
Or get a servant to do it, whatever.
So, what brings you to Ba Sing Se?"
Katara: A pointless cameo so far.
"Well, I heard a certain someone, was proposing to a certain someone. Aaand since Aang was on his way to another earth village nearby I asked him to let me off here.
Katara, do you have to be present in everyone’s love life? You have your own husband, sex him and be happy already.
Oh! Aang gives his apologies for not being able to come." She explained. "So, I'm guessing she said yes!"
Yeah... about that, it has something to do with ninjas ya see...
Looking away he answered, "I haven't asked her."
"Well you're going to ask her soon right?" Katara asked. Zuko stayed silent, continuing to avoid her gaze.
This is what we call guilt friends.
"Zuko, Zuko what's going on?" Still being ignored Katara lashed out by pulling his hair.
Zuko cursed how he had listened to those Pantene Provene commercials now.
"Ow! Why do you and Toph feel the need to pull my hair all the time?" Zuko asked rubbing the back of his head.
Again, cause its easy.
"Answer me!" She commanded threatening to pull his long hair again.
Katara: Where is the number station!? Why’d you go AWOL!?
"I don't know okay!" he yelled.
Zuko: How many times!?! Steiner was at Rebirth Island! We had to kill Steiner!
Katara jumped at his yelling. "Zuko, you need to explain yourself. Did Mai do something? She doesn't seem like she would, but did she?" She asked concerned.
Katara: Did she bring out the chains again? Oh I told her it was too soon.
"No, of course not. Mai is loyal, unlike me." Zuko lamented.
Well the first step is admission of your sins.
"Ohdearspirits! You cheated on her? Zuko you good for nothing jerk!"Katara jumped up from the bed. She raised her hand ready to slap him across his scarred face. Before she could do so, Zuko grabbed her wrist.
I’d have taken the licking like I probably deserved, but Zuko likes to respond to all women with physical violence in some form.
"I didn't cheat on her. Well not exactly. I don't know…. The only way for you to understand is if I tell you the long whole story about…."
Thankfully, no flashback I think we can be grateful for that.
"Toph and Iroh are in the shop. Mai is out. So, I have nothing but time. Wait right here." She ran out of the room. Ten minutes later she returned with two new cups of tea.
You were ready to slap him a second ago now you’re giving him tea? Bi-Polar much?
Also, she seemed to have acquired some facial hair.
Oh please do not ruin my fantasies about Katara man! I lsot Raven to fucking Copy Cat, don’t do this to me!
Zuko's eyes and mouth flew wide open. She pulled a chair up to the bed and motioned for him to lie down.
Katara noticed the weirded out expression on his face.
Appropriate reaction to any woman who suddenly grew a beard.
"What? Sokka can wear a fake beard and I can't?
Because Sokka makes it work, you can’t. He’s kooky enough to pull it off. At least I know it’s not real.
Zuko you need to stop being so sexist!" she stated.
I’m sorry I don’t see how not expecting a women to wear fake beards is sexist.
Sitting down on the chair, she handed him one of the cups of tea. Taking a sip of her tea she asked, "What seems to be the problem?"
"Katara you do realize this is serious, don't you?"Zuko inquired.
I’m not so sure Katara is all there right now to be honest, if you catch my drift. Koo-Koo! Koo-Koo!
"I'm just trying to lighten this dark mood going around." She explained. "Now spill!"
Christ Katara, never get into psychology, you do not have the bedside manner for it.
He told her everything. Everything, since the very beginning. Starting with how he met Jin, to the reencounter, to the letter. "Now I'm confused." He stated, "I love Mai, I really do. The problem is I can't stop thinking about Jin.
At least you’re admitting you’re a lecherous jackass.
This is your entire fault! If you hadn't questioned my honor!"he ranted.
"What are you talking about?" Katara said confused.
"Never mind." He sighed.
Yeah the voices in your head can wait for another day.
He had forgotten that she didn't know about inner Katara.
Let’s not go naming our delusions shall we?
"Okaay…. Anyways, I'm not going to tell you what to do. You need to make this decision on your own." she said standing up.
But you tell people what to do all the time! Tell him he can’t be cheating on his girlfriend and be honest with everybody already!
She took a step towards the bed and hugged him. "Whatever you do I know you'll make the right choice. But whatever choice you make, you need to talk to Mai. Remember you broke her heart before too."
I’d start talking to her now, ya know before ya do anymore damage.
"I know, but don't say anything to her. Give me a chance to figure this out." Zuko said.
Given how you’ve been fucking up so far that may take decades.
Katara pulled away and smiled. Grabbing his cheeks she said, "Don't worry I'll let you handle it. Man this thing is itchy. How did your dad do it?" She pulled at the scruffy beard she had attached to her chin.
Years of grooming and perfecting the badass beard my dear.
Picking up the empty tea cups she headed for the door. She walked with the ease and grace of a waterbender. Hips swaying back and forth as she walked.
Your Zutara origins are as transparent as Zuko’s lies. I could tell what kind of shipper you were even without the stupid introduction laying it out for me. I’d complain more, but the thought of Katara swaying them hips is distracting me.
"Katara…." He said stopping her as she made it to the door.
She turned around to face him. "Yeah?"
"You and Toph are great."Zuko told her.
Okay, dude, what did we say about adding more lercherous behaviour to this clusterfuck?
She smiled warmly. "I know. I'll be back up with something to eat." she said.
"No, it's ok. I'll be down in a bit."Zuko refused.
Shrugging she turned around and headed out.
When she walked out, Zuko let out a groan. Mom what do I do now? Times like this he wished his mother was around. She was out there somewhere, but that's all he knew.
Hey there were time constraints on the final episode okay! Geez.
He was hoping to find her before his and Mai's wedding ceremony, but know he wasn't even sure about that.
Maybe she’ll pop up randomly out of nowhere like she did with Azula in a sequence that was left ambiguous as to whether she was a hallucination or real.
Zuko put on a green earthnation robe. Very similar to the one he wore when his uncle first opened his tea shop three years ago. Then, he fixed his hair into a bun and headed downstairs. I'm just going to let my heart lead me wherever it goes.
Bad idea, your heart is as thick as your skull and will lead to an emotional answer that pleases no one, best to think this out rationally first and realise what a douchebag you’re being. After all you haven’t been using your brain much lately, I think its time you startred. That damn heart of yours is just giving more trouble than it’s worth. Plus its full of cholesterol, you need to lay off the greasy burgers doude.
Three days had pass and it was now the day before Jin's requested presence. Hana needed to do something fast. She had tried over and over to convince Jin to go, but each time Jin refused.
Cause who wants to learn the truth when they can just be angry at someone for no real reason?
Time was running out. The narrow door to Jin's Prince Charming was closing little by little.
Hana, I know you mean well and shit but... seriously you’re helping in destroying a relationship here. STOP IT!
The two girls sat across each other at a table in their small kitchen, eating lunch. It was silent. Both of them were thinking about the next day.
The newest episode of Dancing with the Stars was on...
My mother keeps obsessing over it okay, thats the only reason I know about it.
"So, tomorrow…." Hana said breaking the silence.
Jin sent a death look, silencing Hana.
Good, home wrecker needed to be put down. Didn’t know you had that power Jin, you need to use it more often.
It was so quiet they could hear the soft singing of their next door neighbor.
He was a bit of a fruit ya see.
"It's just, why should I go meet him, just to hear him say goodbye for good? All he's going to do is apologize and leave me again."
And you can’t accept that why? You were apart from each other for two years! Move on!
Jin explained. Small puddles of water formed around her eyes. "If I have to see him run away from me one more time, I…."Jin stopped. Not needing to say anything else. She was tired of wasting her time with him.
GOOD! Smartest thing you’ve said yet! Now whatever happens don’t listen to Hana.
Hana scooted her chair next to Jin's. She grabbed her sister by the shoulder so she could look Jin in the eye. "Jin, I have a feeling it won't be that way this time."
Because you’re psychic and shit... or you’ve read the outline to the story, whatever.
Jin smiled softly. She wiped away the tears from her eyes. "I don't know." She hesitated.
Look at it this way; do you really want to go through the rest of your life not knowing? At least if you go, you will finally know how he feels." Hana questioned.
Well... damn is a good point and the one I’ve been sorta making... but still she’s screwing up Zuko’s engagement here, so yeah tough to get me to like her still.
"Your right." She said rising from her chair.
Hana turned away. Yes! She turned back to Jin. "Now I just need to take you shopping. Get ready so we can go! Shopping trip time! Just like we used to!"
Why do girls feel they need to get new clothes to EVERY date? Girls, I’m gonna give you a secret here. We don’t really care if you wear the same thing every night. We’re fine with however you look, you don’t need to try and impress us. We’re not very picky.
Jin rushed up to her room, so she could brush her hair. As she brushed her hair, she caught glimpse of the letter. She picked it up and read through it again. Smiling she jumped up and down a little and did a twirl.
Christ, she’s going into Disney Princess mode here.
At that moment a gust of wind blew through her open window. It lifted the letter up and out the room. She made a grab for it in vain. She could only watch as it fluttered its way down the street like a butterfly in the wind.
I’m sure that letter will NEVER be brought back up again now. Yep, totally sure we’ll NEVER see it again.
"Well so much for that." She said. With that she ran out her bedroom door to join her sister. The days were looking up.
Cynical Comment for the day: You know you keep looking up you’re gonna miss that on rushing truck.
Mai watched as the random piece of paper landed at her feet.
Intrigued, she picked it up of the messy city streets. She dusted it off and read through the letter. Feeling like she was going to be sick, she crumpled the paper in her hands, and placed it in her pocket with her knives.
Cue dramatic music and scene.
When she arrived at the shop, Zuko, Toph, and Katara were chatting about old days.
Toph: Remember when I kicked that dude in the balls and took his money? That was funny.
She walked behind Zuko's chair and gently pulled at his ear. Leaning over, she whispered softly, "Zuko we need to talk." She kissed his cheek and ran her hand along his arm urging him up.
Zuko gave a quick look over at Toph and Katara who shrugged innocently. With Mai at his right hand, he was led away.
Well he’s dead, hope he enjoys his afterlife.
What will happen now? Who will Zuko choose?
Well this IS a Jinko story so... I’m guessing... Betty Rubble.
Why did Katara want to wear a beard?
I know a transsexual quiz that could answer that.
Review so I can finish the next one faster.
I don’t think reviews are gonna make your fingers type any quicker.
There are about 1-3 chapters left depending on how I decide to break up the chapters.
Or the characters as it were.
Thanks again for reading! I love everyone for reading and reviewing.
You know ya do that and it’s hard to be really harsh on ya. Curse my inability to be cruel to losers.
She’s My Ch3rry Pie! Cool Drink of Water what a sweet surprise! Looks so good bring tears to your eyes! SWEET CHERRY PIE! YEAH!
Well, that wasn’t as bad as last time, but at least I finally made that Warrant Reference joke. Hana is still a no good homewrecker though and Zuko is still a dumbass. So far Toph has been the smartest character in this story, offering actually advice that is helpful. Too bad Zuko is too stupid to follow it. Thoughts folks?
This post has been edited by Lizard-Man: Apr 20 2011, 09:14 PM
"Hi I'm Harold, the Tree's name is Bob."
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Member No.: 353
Apr 21 2011, 09:22 PM
do to all his smex!
Joined: 18-November 09
Member No.: 313
Apr 24 2011, 04:34 PM
So here we are again, with another instalment of this crappy story. With any luck we can finish today and I can work on something else. I think I’ve almost worked up the nerve to return to Ashbringer... I think. So, let’s watch Zuko destroy his relationship shall we?
Ch3rry: Sorry I haven't submitted in so long. I've been out of town for three weeks,
I’m guessing someone left the asylum door open.
but hey here's the next chapter!
I now know how that asshole in the theatre in Clockwork Orange felt.
TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!
Zuko: Umm I was wondering is there anyway I can get a raise.
Yeah, sorry, but ah you have to work here a bit longer to qualify for that.
Ch3rry: What? Why? No way!
Zuko: Well first of all you make me look like an idiot in this story and I don't really like you.
Well you should’ve looked at the contract before you got involved dumbass. By the way great job pointing out your plot holes writer.
Ch3rry: Well you are and idiot and I love you so too bad.
Zuko, if you never listen to anyone ever again, listen to me now, KILL HER. This is the one relationship you WANT to ruin.
Just say the disclaimer. Or else your going back to my closet.
That’s also where she keeps the illegal aliens and black market organs.
Zuko: 'gulp' Ch3rry does not own Avtar:tla or any of it's characters she does own Hana though.
She can have her.
Ch3rry: See was that so hard?
Easier than reading this shit.
Zuko was alone with Mai in the dreaded room back for the second time during their trip.
You really don’t like Mai’s kinky taste in sex do you? Geez man, what’s wrong with ya.
He was really starting to hate this room.
The carpets just didn’t match the drapes and decor was really tacky.
The lights were dimmed and casted creepy monstrous shadows on the wall. The whole vibe was ominous, eerie and, deadly.
The hell? Did Mai convert the place into an interrogation cell?
She told him that she wanted to talk. He could only hope that the talk was not going to be about a certain Earthnation girl. Maybe, she needed help deciding what outfit she should wear tomorrow. He highly doubted it though.
You never know, this is probably just atmosphere for a coming montage.
If she wanted to talk about clothes she could go to Katara.
No she should go to Sokka, he knows clothes. He did after all realise how good his bag went with his Earth Rumble belt.
That was totally not a gay thing to do on his part by the way.
"Zuko." Mai said interrupting his wandering thoughts.
"Uh, hey. So, um, Mai. What was it that you wanted to talk about?" he questioned holding his breath.
How about the fact you’re a lying snake?
"Nothing important. I just thought we haven't really spent much time together." She replied.
Well he’s a gonner. I expect him to show up tomorrow in a ditch.
She reached her hand into her pocket, pacing back and forth. Slowly, she began pulling something out.
Oh god please don’t tell me...!
The object gleamed threateningly. It was a knife.
Oh thank god, I thought they were gonna pull a “Sleepaway Camp” twist on us.
She-Males creep me out.
She ran it menacingly between two fingers. Zuko gulped. She's going to try to kill me.
She has good reason to so far, maybe you should stop lying and actually explain.
Mai grabbed a piece of cloth off a nearby table and polished it.
This was the reason he fell in love with her folks, she’s good with blades of all kinds.
HA HA! Innuendo.
"Zuko tell me. How are you feeling? Are you still having those headaches?" Mai asked.
German Doctor: Is it safe?
Obscure Reference for the win!
Relieved, Zuko released the breath he had been holding in. She was only concerned about how he was feeling.
It’s a thinly veiled threat you idiot! She knows! TELL THE TRUTH ALREADY!
"Nope, no more headaches. I actually feel a lot better now." He replied.
Zuko: I’m not cheating on anyone! Stop questioning me! I learned it by watching you!
She walked over to him and placed the hand that wasn't holding the knife, carefully on his scarred face.
"I'm so happy to hear that." She related. She then kissed him softly on his smooth lips.
Stab him in the leg Mai! The souche deserves it!
"Did you tell Mai about Zuko? "Katara asked worriedly.
"Of course not." Toph replied reclining back into her chair.
She wants to watch the mayhem unfold as he tries to worm his way out of this clusterfuck.
She placed her dusty feet onto the table.
"Toph, do you mind?" Katara asked annoyed.
"Oh, sorry." She said sarcastically. Toph moved her feet closer to Katara. "Is that better?"
Toph: The greatest Troll in the Avatar Universe. 4Chan would be proud.
Katara gave her look, knowing perfectly well Toph wouldn't see it.
"Whatever," Katara replied "Come on!" she grabbed Toph by the arm and stepped lightly towards the room Mai took Zuko.
"What are you doing?" Toph asked.
They could be doing the nasty for all you know!
"I have to know what's going on." Katara answered
Geez bitch, nosy much? Are you the Fire Nation’s Royal Family Gossip Columnist?
continuing to pull Toph along. "Not everyone has ears on their feet.
When they made it to the room that held the two young firenation adults, they got into eavesdropping positions.
"Aww man, they're just making out." Toph grumbled.
Toph wanted blood.
"Shhh" Katara hushed.
You brought her along for this exact purpose! Why are you shushing?
"You're no fun Katara." Toph whined.
"I'm happy to hear that Mai." He said in between kisses. "I'm also glad that you don't want to kill me."
Dig that hole for yourself deeper kid, you’re doing great!
Mai pulled away from and looked him in the eyes. "Now why would I want to kill you?"
Zuko winced. Smooth Zuko smooth. "I don't know, no reason." He stumbled.
Zuko: She came on to me! I didn’t do anything!
"You disgust me." She whispered.
You’re not the only one sister.
Zuko was confused. He suddenly felt something pointing into his chest teasing him. The sharp object slowly crawled up to his throat. By then he already knew that it was the knife from earlier that was threatening to pierce his skin.
Ah, there’s the old Zutarian charm! Mai, the crazy bitch who resorts to murder! But for once her reasons are entirely justified! If a bit extreme.
"I love you Zuko. More than anything in the world, but I guess my love isn't enough for you. So you decide to go cheat on me with some Earthnation girl!" she began.
Well technically its only semi-cheating. He mostly just wants to say he’s sorry, but his nether regions want to bone her.
"It's not like that." Zuko told her.
You kinda made it look like it was.
"It isn't? You send her flowers and invite her to dinner at sunset and it isn't like that?" Mai said beginning to yell.
Crazy knife chick has a point buddy, maybe now is the time you start opening up here.
Her hand trembled causing the knife to knick at his skin.
" We should do something." Katara said ready to burst through the doors.
Toph grabbed her ankle and shook her head.
"Not yet." The tomboyish blind girl said.
Toph is pleased by this turn of events, she wants her puppets to dance for her! Dance! Dance for the Melon Lord!
"What is it then! Explain it to me please!" Mai begged. The knife in her hand continued to threaten Zuko. He had red cuts on his neck from where the knife had slightly pierced his skin due to her uneasiness.
Mai? Uneasy with a knife? Now THAT is WAY out of character! Even more than this crazy outburst.
Zuko not wanting to be torn to shreds grabbed her wrist and backed her against the wall.
This is not helping Zuko.
"Listen I messed up and you know that. I have to make things right."
Oh now you tell the truth, elaborate you idiot!
Mai kicked at him, but he dodged it. AS he dodged he had to let go of her arm. So in one mover she pushed him away from her and threw a knife pinning his sleeve of his robe to the wall.
"You wronged me too you know! This is the second time!" she yelled.
Preach it sister!
She looked at him sadly. "It's also the last time. We're through, but I guess you already knew that." She turned around to walk out the door.
The audience in the meantime is cheering her for dumping the bum!
"Oh crap! Back to the table." Toph commanded. The two girls rushed to the table.
For a brief second Mai turned back to Zuko. It was as if she could see their whole relationship fly by in a split second. It made her sad to know that he had chosen Jin over her.
He hasn’t yet actually, if you let him explain you’d probably learn that. But hey, it’s a crappy shipper story, this is a contrived reason to break the two up and the writer is taking it.
"Mai… I'm sorry." Zuko said softly.
"You always are." Mai swiftly walked out of the room and headed towards the front door.
You go girl. By the way Mai, if you’re looking for a reboud boyfriend right now I’m incredibly easy and entirely desperate. I’m also willing to try anything too, so whip out the chains baby!
Zuko pulled the knife from his sleeve and followed her out of the room.
"Shh, shh act natura.l" Katara said.
"Ha ha ha you're so funny Katara!" Toph laughed as Zuko walked into the kitchen.
Zuko rolled his eyes as he watched Mai walk out of his life.
Why are you rolling your eyes, you’re the one who screwed up!
Once Mai was gone the room went silent. Zuko turned to look at the two girls sitting at the table. Neither of them returned his gaze.
"I know you huys were listening." He said tiredly. He pulled out a chair and joined them.
"What! Psh! Of course not Zuko. What makes you think that?" Katara asked.
You made no real effort to hide it to be honest.
"Toph said you were funny."
"Ouch! That's harsh. True, but harsh." Toph chuckled.
Katara has just been double burned!
"Ok, ok so we did snoop, but it was because we were worried." Katara explained.
"That and Katara is an extremely nosy person." Toph added.
I feel like Toph is making half the jokes for me.
"Toph." Katara said in a warning voice. She turned back to Zuko and placed a caring hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry Zuko, but you know you kind of brought it on yourself."
Now even the other characters are agreeing with me on this, Zuko is a dumbass!
"I know." Zuko sighed.
"He's just not very smart when it comes to girls. It's like trying to teach Momo how to make tea. You just end up with bugs in your cup." Toph said.
Why did you try to teach Momo how to make tea? I know having a monkey butler is a cool prospect but, technically he ain’t a monkey. He’s a lemur, there’s a difference.
"Thank you Toph, that was very reassuring." Zuko lamented.
Toph speaks only hard truths Zuko, you suck with chicks.
Katara giggled and Toph smiled triumphantly. The brunette suddenly noticed that there was blood trickling down Zuko neck. She stopped laughing and gasped.
"Zuko you're bleeding." She said. She got up and returned with a small bowl of water.
"Katara I'm fine. It's just a little knick. Like you said I deserved it anyway." Zuko refused.
And Mai used to leave WAY bigger ones anyway, if you know what I mean.
"Why that may be true, I can't sit here and watch you bleed.
You’re Zutarian is showing writer!
Now scoot over here or I'll really make you bleed." She insisted.
Katara is in fact a vampire ya see.
There was no point in arguing with her. Toph was really the only one who stood their ground against Katara.
Stood her ground and won repeatedly I might add.
The men on the other hand always did as she asked or received the consequences later.
With Aang that meant she was the man in bed for that night.
But most of them didn't really want to see monster Katara wreck havoc so they usually listened to her.
Well she is technically a blood bender.
So Zuko allowed her to heal them minor cut. Her motherly attitude towards everyone always reminded him of his own mother. He appreciated it but sometimes it was a little weird.
Well you just shot your inner Zutara in the foot writer, you’re supposed to only refer to Katara as a mother when AANG is involved remember? It’s the only way you can convince yourself she isn’t in love with him.
"Does this mean your set on Jin?" Toph asked out of nowhere getting right to the point.
Toph obviously wants this story to get rolling again cause she’s tired with the slow plotting.
"Toph, really?" Katara said.
"Hey. I know you were thinking it Sugar Queen." Toph smirked.
"What I was so not… ok so maybe I was,
Poor Katara, you need some lotion for all these burns you’re getting?
but do you really think this is the right time?" Katara replied irritably.
Well this is a stupid shipper fanfic where they have to rush things.
"It's fine Katara." Zuko interrupted their argument. "The truth is, I had convinced myself not to meet Jin tomorrow." Zuko said.
Oh so you were gonna stand her up, good lord you’re an asshole. You can’t even fuck up consistently without making more problems!
"But you are now right?" Katara inquired.
"Actually, I'm definitely not going now." Zuko said sadly.
Oh I see you’re gonna try and win Mai back and sort out this misunderstanding! Like in every romantic comedy ever made! Og course!
"What Zuko, you just went through all that for nothing?" Katara said shocked. Not that she liked the whole idea of him moving on so fast, but she knew he had promised to meet this girl.
And this story’d ending would be pretty pointless to be honest.
"That's why. I really don't think me and dating is working out right now. I need to focus on my nation." He explained. "That's why I'll be leaving back forhome tomorrow."
Oh I see, you’re not gonna try and fix things with your girlfriend you’re just gonna give up entirely and be a douchebag aqs usual. God I hate you.
"WHAT!" Toph and Katara both exclaimed. Katara looked at Zuko, mouth wide in astonishment. Toph her eyebrows raised in interest.
"You're leaving me already Sparky? I'll be stuck with Sugar Queen all by myself until Twinkletoes comes get her. At least take her with you." Toph whined.
That does sound like torture to be honest.
"Ha ha. Very funny Toph." Katara said sarcastically rolling her eyes.
I found it funny, she’s the only funny person in this besides me.
"Listen Champ I know. Iroh will be disappointed too, but that's the best thing I can do." Zuko said.
You have a strange definition of best. But you ain’t exactly MIT material so, screwing up the definitions of words is pretty common for you.
Katara gave him a weird look.
"Is it really what's best or is it what's best for Zuko?" she questioned.
Zuko winced at her words, but ignored her.
"I'm going to my room to pack." He told them walking away.
“I’m running away to the circus! You’ll never see me again! WAAAHHH!”
"Hmph, he's being a bit of a jerk." Toph noted.
"He's not a jerk…
He’s just a whinny brat.
ok maybe sometimes." Katara admitted. She sighed. Honestly, she wasn't even sure herself what Zuko should do. One thing was for sure though; he shouldn't just ditch that poor girl.
Why not? At least he’s being consistent with his heart breaking.
"Heehee. It's beautiful Jin. He's going to turn into a wild animal when he sees you." Hana giggled.
It’s interesting to note that Hana here is hoping that Zuko will both jump her and perhaps even mate with her when he sees her, you know like most wild animals do with the females of their species.
Jin laughed. "You really think so?" She asked knowingly. She twirled around and then posed seductively.
"For sure!" Hana reassured.
Hana: If I know anything, it’s how to properly play into the stereotypes of a society that objectifies women!
The happy younger brunette bobbed up and down excitedly. Jin couldn't help but grin, showing off her pretty smile. Her younger sister was almost more excited than she was. She went over to hug her sister.
"Thanks." Jin said squeezing her tight.
All Hana's life Jin had been there for her.
That was not the impression I got. I got the impression Hana controlled Jin’s life and every facet of it.
She always giving her advice and reassurance.
You know it’s nice that the author is only telling us all this now when the story is near its conclusion. You know when none of it really matters anymore and any chance for character development is completely wasted. It’s even more wasteful considering, you know, this contradicts the basic facts we learned about this relationship from what we’ve seen during this story.
When they were younger, Jin would always let Hana wear her makeup and clothes.
Back then miniskirts were all the rage, this explains much about Hana.
She even helped hook her up with her first boyfriend. And though it's hard to believe Hana wasn't always the popular, cool girl.
I doubt being the village bicycle translates to being popular. At least not in the terms you’re referring to. As for cool... good lord no. She ain’t even close.
The boys and girls in her class use to make fun of her on a daily basis.
Why’d they stop? It’s pretty easy. I can only imagine it’s because she gives great head and therefore it was enough to keep them from ridiculing her. They wanted more.
One day Hana came home in tears. That whole night Jin comforted her and hugged and told her that everything would be ok.
I really could care less, you rarely built up anything involving their relationship and what little you did was completely inconsequential to the plot. Hell Hana is inconsequential to the plot, she’s just there to be an idiot, a snob and an easy “whore joke” target for me.
that next day Jin marched up to the school and gave everyone a piece of her mind. No one ever bullied her again.
How incredibly vague, the hell did she do? I can imagine several scenarios ranging from school wide assembly she somehow forced the administration to allow or something out of the Harris and Klebold book of problem solving.
Yeah that was a dark joke, I’m sorry. But the connotation is there don’t deny it!
That's why Hana was so happy to be able to do the same for her.
Yeah she turned you into a prostitute who has gone through several boyfriends like a shark goes through teeth no less, now you’re giving relationship advice to her. That makes perfect sense. By that logic this relationship will last five seconds before she moves onto someone else.
Seriously, this story has claimed Hana can’t hold down a boyfriend! From the sound of it she dumps them and picks up a new one every week! How can she teach Jin how to get a man if she’s a total heartbreaker who treats relationships like disposable razors? Fucking bitch, should I really give a shit about this self-centered character who cares nothing for anyone else’s feelings but Jin’s and even that’s questionable? I ask you?
Finally releasing her, Jin looked at her sister and smiled. Hana returned her smile. Giving Jin a slight push she told her "I'm just happy to have you back."
"Heh, yeah, me too." Jin admitted.
"Okay, okay enough of the sentiments time to get some sleep. You want to be ready for tomorrow!" Hana said speaking about forty miles an hour.
Another 44 and she’d generate the 1.21 jiggawatts she needed to travel through time.
"I know, I know, calm down." Jin begged.
"They both looked at each other. Hana gave Jin knowing look. Finally, Jin crumpled under her sister's gaze. She grabbed her sister by the arms and they both squealed.
God this story is so fucking full of girly clichés and stereotypes its practically rolling back the clock on female empowerment. There goes equal time and equal pay ladies! Say bye bye to women’s sports too.
"It's not like this is my first date with Zuko, but this time it's different. I just can't wait!" Jin said.
That night Jin went to bed smiling. The first time since a while. Everything was finally falling into place.
Now I’m imaging Hana wearing giant headphones and saying “Just as planned!”
"Zuko, honey, wake up."
"Mom? Is that really you?"
No Zuko, that’s the Marijuana talking. You are really fucking stoned. Didn’t you question why that bird was talking to you just now?
"Yes, my dear."
"Mom! Mom! I missed you so much! I can't believe you're here! I have a problem. I don't know what to do. I think I made a wrong decision."
You THINK? You made A SINGULAR wrong decision? Oh where to begin friends, where to begin on how wrong this statement is.
"Listen Zuko. Whatever you decide, I know it will be right. I won't be here to make you decisions my son."
Big load of help you are hallucination of the woman who gave him birth. What’s the point of having delusions if they refuse to even offer any kind of advice! Helpful or otherwise!
"Mom you act as if you won't be around anymore."
She’s not around much to begin with considering she’s in exile doing... exiled stuff. Crap I could’ve really used an epilogue to that plot point.
Zuko reached out for his mother's hand, but her skin burned hotter than a raging inferno.
"Mom, mommy, your burning!"
Damn, should’ve set her for defrost instead of broil.
"I love you Zuko."
Ursa suddenly caught on fire, starting on one corner of her body to traveling to the other. She was being engulfed in bright, red and orange flames.
So she became the phoenix force I assume? Do we need the X-Men on the line?
"Mom… please, don't go. Mom."
Oh grow up ya big baby! WAH WAH! I want my mommy! What are you five?
He tried to grab a hold of her despite the serpent like bite of the fire, but then she was gone just like that. All that was left were ashes. Zuko started to cry. He ran his hand through the black and white dust that was left of his mother.
Don’t worry, if she’s really the Pheonix force maybe she’ll rise from the ashes in a few days. Works for Jean Grey.
"Mom, please, I don't know what to do. Mom. Mom!"
"Mom! Mom!" Zuko cried out in agony. He woke up drenched in sticky sweat.
Mom, am I doing the right thing?
Nothing you ever do is right dumbass.
"Firelord Zuko are you all packed up?" Iroh asked slightly opening the door.
"Almost." Zuko replied getting up from his bed.
He just needs his blankie and then it’s off to Summer Camp!
"Zuko are you alright?" Iroh asked him. Zuko looked pale and had beads of sweat on his forehead.
Zuko looked up at him with pleading eyes. "Uncle… am I a bad person? Is it wrong for me to leave? Zuko asked.
You know considering Iroh told Zuko to go apologize to Jin in the first place I think he owes some culpability in his break up with Mai. Of course I’m sure when Iroh told him to do that he didn’t mean “sneak out in the middle of the night and do it behind your girlfriend’s back.” Also, shouldn’t he be pushing Zuko NOT to break Jin’s heart again?
He was truly lost, confused. In reality he didn't want to meet Jin because he was afraid of hurting her. Yet, if he didn't arrive it would be hurting her.
Well the answer is simple, since there’s only a chance of hurting her with the first option whereas the second is definetly going to hurt her choose the first! God you’re stupid. Why is this a dilemma? Oh right, for fake added drama to an already boring story.
So he couldn't help but wonder if what was really holding him back was his cowardice.
No he’s just a dumbass. A coward would have legitimate fears.
"Only you can answer those questions, my son." He said patting Zuko on the back. "The boat leaves in five hours."
And if you’re not on it you’ll regret it, maybe not today maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.
The day went by slowly. Zuko tortured himself throughout the day.
He only has five hours, that isn’t even half a day! Hell it’s barely a quarter!
His mind played games with him. He had to make a choice.
Jin on the other hand was ecstatic. She had peaceful sleep that night and she was busy running around getting ready.
That was the speed to be honest, that’s why she was going bonkers.
"There." Hana announced placing the final touches on Jin's outfit.
"Are you ready?" Hana asked.
I have the suspicion that Hana is suddenly gonna perform a trick she saw on Mindfreak.
All Jin could do was nod ecstatically. Her brown hair was put into a stylish ponytail. Her signature look. Some of her hair was left to fall down past her shoulders.
If she starts describing Jin wearing fishnets and red tipped dyed hair I’ll scream.
Her dress was a mint green with a decorative edge. Her makeup was very light and natural, enhancing her already beautiful features.
"Wait." Hana exclaimed running out of her room. When she came back, she had a beautiful orchid flower pin. She placed the pin in her sister's hair. "Now your ready."
For MORTAL KOMBAT!!!
"Bye Sparky. You better come visit soon." Toph told him.
Toph: Or I’ll hunt you down and murder you in your sleep!
"I will." Zuko confirmed. “Thank you father!”
"Are you really sure you want to go?" Katara asked.
Whislt doing the pee-pee dance.
"I was actually wondering if you'd meet her and tell her I won't be coming." Zuko pleaded.
Wow, just when I thought you had pulled every dick move out of the book. You prove me wrong.
"Are you kidding me, asking me to do your dirty work. I'm really disappointed in you Zuko." Katara said.
"I know and I'm sorry." He said outstretching his arms for a goodbye hug.
"Whatever, I'm not the one you should be apologizing to." Katara grumbled hugging him back reluctantly.
God this is turning into the cheesiest romance story ever, I know what’s gonna happen why are they drawing this out so much?
"Bye you guys." He said. He walked with Iroh to the dock where his boat was waiting. Before Zuko climb aboard his ship, his uncle stopped him.
"Zuko make sure that you go through your life, so that you do not die with regrets." Iroh encouraged.
Zuko simply nodded in response and boarded the ship.
Iroh: Hmm, I really thought that would work. Ah well, back to my roast duck.
"Bye Hana!" Jin yelled out to her sister.
"Bye Jin, knock him died, well not literally, but still." Hana yelled.
God as if I needed another story that screws up its tenses!
"I'll try." She laughed.
Walking down the street she felt genuinely happy. The setting sun created a beautiful glow across the skies. The sky was painted in an array of purples, oranges, yellows, and blues. She finally reached the fountain. The lanterns were off, but she didn't mind. She sat on the edge of the fountain, looking right and left. All she could do was wait. She waited and waited. No one came. As the skies grew darker, her hopes diminished. It was beginning to look like her Prince wasn't going to show up anytime soon.
Depressing, I’m SO sure he won’t show up. I mean it’s not like this hasn’t TOTALLY happened a million times before.
Ok so what do you think?
You don’t wanna know.
It's not my best but, I tried.
I really do work hard it's just oh well Idk. By the way I'm not so good with fighting stuff so excuse the little Mai/Zuko scene lol XD
I don’t excuse OOC writing lady, even when it’s justified.
So tell me what you think, how I can improve, mistakes, what you liked, what you loved, what you didn't.
The last one I could make a list about, most certainly.
Thanks so much. Arigato! Love ya
Argh, just one more chapter left, let’s get this over with.
My Prince Returns
Ch3rry: This is the last chapter of My Prince Returns. Sorry it took so long. As a special treat I brought in a special guess! Perry the Platypus and Sasuke! Say hello!
Fuck, as if one douchebag emo angsty asshole wasn’t enough.
Hey fuckface how’s it going?
Oh good, someone who doesn’t talk, finally a person who won’t say incredibly stupid things to piss me off.
Zuko: YOU REPLACED ME!
It’s called downsizing, egg laying mammals and emo ninjas work for less. Clean out your desk by five, here’s your severance package.
Ch3rry: Umm no, I uh, am giving you a break. Hehe
Zuko: I won't let you replace me.
Sasuke: Too bad she likes me better.
Zuko: No way! I'm doing the disclaimer
Sasuke: Like hell you are!
Why does Sasuke give a shit about any of this? Shouldn’t he be trying to destroy the lives of countless innocent people to fuel is blood crazed revenge scheme?
Zuko and Sasuke: Ch3rry, grrr... does not own 'ouch' Avatar, Sasuke or Perry. She does own this, let go of my hair, this story. Move! She also owns Hana. HA! I SAID IT FIRST.
Well that was nonsensical thanks.
You’re still the only character besides Toph that I like. So no jokes about you.
Zuko waved goodbye to Iroh and his friends. Behind the smiles, he could sense that they were displeased with his decision.
It was the “You suck balls!” stare they had on.
But what right did they have to judge him? It was his life and his decision to make.
Who cares if it is completely contradictory to what you wanted to accomplish originally and the reasons you’re making this decision are retarded beyond imagination.
He felt he had made the right choice and would deal with whatever consequences came with it.
Technically you’re not the one who has to live with the consequences.
Now I know what you’re thinking, “Lizard-man, you know he’s gonna jump off the boat and swim to Jin right?” Yes I do know, but this is such a cliché in basic romance story telling that the fact this fic is trying to trick me into thinking things will turn out differently is stupid beyond measure. Besides, the reasoning behind all of this is completely stupid even though we know it’s not gonna last! Seriously this decision to try and stand up Jin makes no sense! His plan was to meet up with her and explain everything to her! WHY exactly does he think he can’t still just do that?
Hell he’s lost his girlfriend over this! He’s not even attempting to patch things up with her or tell her that he’s not meeting Jin after all! Seriously this is one big circle jerk! Zuko’s motivations for his actions make no fucking sense! Its all being done to build up a bunch of really contrived drama in a story that is otherwise devoid of it!
It had been a long day and he was tired. He headed below deck where the cabins were.
"Firelord Zuko." A random man from the crew greeted Zuko as he walked down the hallway to his room.
Zuko's room was truly fit for a Firelord. The blankets were a crimson red with gold edging. The sheets were gold and made of fine silk encouraging Zuko to dive in and drown in them.
You know what blankets also serve as, PADDING for things that are FLIMSY.
Without removing his clothes he flopped down on the bed. He turned over onto his back and sunk into the very depths of the bed. Looking up at the ceiling his mind started to wander. In no time it betrayed him. All he could see was Jin's beautiful smile. He tried to push all thoughts of her out of his mind, but it was no use.
The guilt hurts don’t it kid, now you know how that kid from that MST3k short “The Cheater” felt.
"Firelord Zuko." Someone called from the other side of the wooden door. "There have been some delays in leaving. Something must be repaired before we can deport."
Oh of course, the classic delay. See! By the book, next thing you know he calls up Jin’s house phone from the boat and suddenly breaks down because he wants to get off the ship.
"That's fine." Zuko sighed.
He turned on his side and lay with his hands underneath his head. He tried to stay awake. Despite his efforts, slowly, but surely, he fell asleep.
"Zuko get up."
"Mom, I thought you…."
Wow delusions in one day, that must’ve been some damn good acid they spiked your drink with kid.
"Hush my son we need to talk."
You know things are bad when even the hallucination of your mother is disappointed in you.
Ursa put her arms around her son. "Now talk."
"Mom,, there is nothing to talk about."
"Zuko don't give me that. Tell me what's going on with the Earthnation girl."
Why do you care? You’re a figment of his imagination, shouldn’t you be telling him to burn everything?
"Mother please, just stop right there. I don't need a girlfriend or anything else. I don't need this. I need to take care of my nation." He explained.
But nations love it when their monarchs marry, just look at Britain! They won’t shut up about their prince’s engagement!
Zuko, every goo leader needs people who love him to be by their side. When your father banished me look what happened to him.
Ursa... he was always a douchebag. And as I remember the deal was you kill his dad so Zuko’s life would be spared and he just banishes you while he takes the crown. Seriously I don’t think you divorcing was what led him down the path to crazy town.
Zuko smiled his boyish smile. "I guess what the real question is, do you love her?" And with that Ursa faded into the wind.
Hmm, does he love someone he barely even knows, hasn’t seen in years and has only gone out on one date with? Or does he just want to pop her cherry? Which do you think is the more plausible answer.
Zuko woke up with a new determination. He had to get off the boat, but he noticed that it was already moving. He quickly got out of his comfortable and sprinted for the door. He pushed it open as if it was piece of paper and rushed to the captain.
When he entered the room all eyes were on him.
Hard not to when the leader of an entire country is screaming his head off in front of you.
"We have to turn around." Zuko commanded.
"But Firelord, we just started leaving fifteen minutes ago." The captain explained.
I wanna get back to the Fire Nation before Supernatural comes on later tonight!
"Then we're only fifteen minutes from the port. Turn around!" He said with an all too familiar harshness in his voice. The captain's eyes widened in astonishment at his tone, which brought Zuko to realization. "Please." He said more softly almost begging.
Captain: Well when you put it like that, no. Jerk, no wonder you don’t have a girlfriend.
"Of course, Firelord Zuko. Men let's get this ship turned around. Milord has a young lady awaiting him."
How the fuck do you know? Do you read his mail? Are you a telepath?
Now all Zuko could do was wait and hope that Jin would do the same.
She is a incredibly sad individual with no life, so I assume she will.
Jin was getting tired of waiting. She had hope that he would've been there on time. It wouldn't even been a problem if he was fifteen or even thirty minutes late, but she had been waiting for two hours.
Seriously Jin, YOU ARE PATHETIC! God woman grow a spine! Actually do something else in your life besides worrying if you’re lose your virginity! Stop listening to your whore of a sister!
It takes real dedication to wait that long.
It takes an act of desperation.
If he's not here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving.
The minutes continued to tick by slowly and hopelessly. Finally, the fifteen minutes ended. It was done. He wasn't coming. Jin got up from the fountains ledge and took in a deep breath of air. She did all she could to keep from crying.
God lady, why is this so important to you? You barely know him!
He had done it again. He had disappointed her and broken her heart, again.
You’ll get over it. Like most women do.
She was about to head on home when she saw something move from the corner of her eye.
Its probably just Santa Claus. Keep walking.
As soon as the boat docked, Zuko was off the ship in an instant. He headed on the long walk to the fountain. On the way he stopped on a shop to pick up some flowers.
You’ve just wasted an extra 45 seconds, good job dumbass.
He was supposed to bring dinner, but he did really have the time to find something.
Well if he has time why isn’t he getting it?
Oh how I love typoes!
He raced out of the shop and ran towards love.
GAG. ME. WITH. A. SPOON.
Cautiously, Jin walked over to the shadowy silhouette.
Considering she got attacked by a ninja last night, yes that is an appropriate reaction.
"Zuko … is that you?" she asked slowly.
Out of the shadows came a young woman about her age. She had brown hair that flowed to her waist and tanned skin.
Katara! I thought you said you weren’t gonna do his dirty work! God damn tool, I’ve lost all respect for you right now.
"I'm sorry, unfortunately I'm not. My name is Katara and Zuko won't be coming tonight. He left for the firenation this afternoon." Katara explained.
Jin gave Katara a confused look. "Why did he go to the firenation? Does he have a friend there?" She asked puzzled.
Has Hana’s stupid infected you or something?
"Oh. You mean you don't… uh yeah, he's visiting a friend." Katara said trying to save herself.
What the...? Katara the war is over! Why are you covering for his ass! Hell it would even help her understand everything and not be so angry with him! Why is everyone except Toph in this story so stupid!
"Oh, alright." Jin's head fell and she stared sadly at her feet. "You know for a second, I thought I finally found him. The guy I loved. My Prince.
ONE! FUCKING! DATE! Two Years of separation! Why do I need to repeat this? Why is this so hard for you to get over?!
Aha ha. I guess not though." She said faking a smile.
Katara felt like a monster. She had come and ripped this girl's heart from her very chest. Without even thinking Katara embraced the girl in a hugged.
That and she needed a twenty and hopped Jin’s wallet was full.
"I'm sorry. Zuko is a bit of a jerk sometimes."
Jin's mouth curled up in a slight smile. She didn't know who this girl was. Rather she was Zuko's friend, ex or whatever, she like her.
You know you two could just try lesbianism if you want, you just as experimentation. I mean why waste an evening?
"I am a jerk aren't I?" a deep voice came from behind them. The two girls released each other to see….
"Zuko!" They cried in unison.
Zuko: I didn’t say stop, keep hugging.
"Sorry I'm late." He said with an apologetic smile. "I couldn't choose in between lilies or lilacs."
The clichés, she cannot take much more captain!
He held out a bouquet of beautiful flowers and handed them to Jin. "Katara, thanks for keeping her company. I'll see you later."
One last Zutarian flirt I see.
As Katara walked away to give them some time alone, Zuko looked around Jin ad gave a small smile mouthing the words, "Thank you. I owe you one."
You owe her five douche.
He sure did. Katara then pretended to walk away but in reality she merely hid on the side of a nearby building.
As always, Katara can’t keep her nose out of anyone’s private business.
"Here to join the 'Let's spy on Zuko club." Toph smirked. Toph had been sitting there the whole entire time, paying attention to the unfolding events.
Toph is different, I expect this of her because she requires blackmail material on all her friends. This is just out of character for Katara.
Katara sat down next to her, occasionally peeking around the corner.
Zuko turned his attention back to Jin.
"Uh… hi." He said timidly regressing back to his awkward stage around girls.
Zuko: I hate sand.
"Look Jin, I'm sorry. For everything. For leaving you behind and for lying. I feel horri…."
Jin interrupted him with a breathtaking kiss.
God, couldn’t even wait for him to explain everything could ya? For all you knew he was gonna say that Mai was his girlfriend still and that they were engaged. Was she gonna do this even if Mai hadn’t broken up with him?
She wrap her hands around the nape of his neck trying to feel as close to him as possible. When she pulled back she looked him gingerly in the eye and placed a delicate hand on his scarred cheek. "It's ok. I forgive you."
Yeah it’s easy to forgive a man who kept you waiting for TWO HOURS cause he brought you flowers and you want to boink him.
Zuko started to kiss her soft lips again but immediately pulled away. "Jin wait." Zuko said grabbing her hand.
Zuko: You got some spinach in your teeth.
"Before I let you forgive me I have to tell you who I really am."
"Zuko its ok I…"
"My name is Zuko. I was born in the Firenation and I'm a firebender. Those lanterns I lit myself. I'm also the Firelord. I've never been part of a circus; I haven't even been to one before! I haven't, can't and won't in a million years be able to juggle. I have the best friends in the world and I would die for them in an instant. That's who I really am." Zuko related.
Zuko: See now if you just waited six seconds for me to explain all that to you at the tea shop a week ago none of this would’ve happened!
Jin stood there speechless. All this time and he was from the Firenation. And not only that, he was Firelord! It was all too much to process.
"Shhh!" she commanded still pondering the new information. Zuko did as he was told obediently.
And he’s already pussy-whipped ten seconds in to his new relationship.
"Five coins says that he's going to get beat up." Toph said extending her hand with a soft smirk.
Katara glanced at her hand an smiled. "Ten coins says he's going to get kicked in the privates. That's what I'd do." Katara responded.
For what? Finally telling her the truth? For explaining everything at last? For actually doing something right for once?
"You're on!" Toph exclaimed. She spit on her hand an held it out to shake.
I guess Toph figures if they’re both wrong she’ll at least make back a five coin profit. Smart business decision.
"Uh, never mind." Katara pushed away Toph's wet hand.
Pft, god you are such a girl Katara. Man up, be more like Toph.
Zuko could only watch Jin as she registered what he had said. He half expected her to lash out at him.
Given the fact she acts hysterical all the time about the tinniest things...
But you should always expect the unexpected. Suddenly, Jin's mouth curved into a smile. Then from the smile she started to laugh. She laughed so hard that her stomach started to hurt.
That’s when the chestburster alien popped out.
Zuko looked at her numbly wondering what she had drunk before he came.
Lots of Jagermeister and vodka, together, it’s a drink called “The Stalingrad.”
"He he. I can't believe I didn't realize it before! I feel like such an idiot." She laughed.
You are. And so is your sister.
"Close your eyes." She requested. Zuko closed his eyes shut. Then Jin leaned forward and kissed him just like they did years ago. His lips tasted the exact same, burnt ash and jasmine tea. They were just as smooth too. Finally they pulled away.
"I missed you." Jin said.
"Me too." Zuko replied.
Even though he never thought of you at all for a full two years.
"Are there anymore secrets I should know about?"
Zuko looked thoughtfully. "It's not much of a secret, but it's something you should know. If it wasn't for my mom, I might've been to chicken to come back."
"Well then, I must meet her and thank her myself." Jin said with a grin.
Yeah... she’d dead. Smooth.
"I wish you could. I haven't seen her for years." Zuko said sadly.
Yeah admit you see hallucination of your banished possibly dead mother. Being crazy, that’s a real turn on.
His eyes went cloudy. Jin could see the sadness in his eyes. Which by no means trying to lessen the situation made him look adorable.
Lord almighty do you want me to use the rainbow that throws up rainbows picture again?
She reached out for him and hugged him tightly.
"I'm sorry." She whispered. "What was her name?"
"Ursa. Her name was Ursa." Zuko chocked. He felt Jin jump when he said her name. She let go of him and looked him in the eye.
"Did you say Ursa?" She asked.
"Zuko! I know who your mother is! I should've known. She looks just like you, beautiful. She moved here when I was younger and she was so nice.
WOW Can you say major fucking ass pull? Seriously, holy shit! That is like the biggest ass pull in existence! What the fuck man? I could use the “What a Twist!” gag but seriously, that would require this to be an actual twist, not a fucking retarded last minute piece of shit plot element that had no build up!
She used to always talk about her kids she had to leave behind." Jin rambled.
Jin: Especially her crazy ass daughter that liked to torture animals!
She grabbed Zuko's hand and said," Zuko are you ready to see your mother again?"
Are you ready to grow a brain and stop listening to your sister’s dumb advice?
"So how was your night?" Hana asked excitedly.
Jin was glowing. She couldn't help but gush. "It was perfect. My Prince Charming is not a prince though. He's the Firelord and he has finally returned to me."
Well that ending is shit. Great job.
Hoped you enjoy this story.
Thank you to everyon who read it and reviewed! I love all of you guys and check out my other stories!
No thanks, I’m not big on Zutarian shit or Sasuke fangirls.
Sorry Sasuke, This is it! ^^
Time to burn ya fucking emo.
Well at least it’s over and-
Sequel to My Prince Returns
I've been thinking of making a sequel to this story. Maybe with Zuko and JIn returning together to the Firenation. Should I, or should i just leave it where I left it?
Bury it under six feet of dirt and forget it exists, that’s my suggestion.
Or maybe, i should just redo the ending and conclude it more thoroughly.
You can’t possibly make it worse. But it would be interesting to see you try.
Would you guys read it?
What do you think? You think I enjoy dissolving my brain in acidic cliché bullshit?
Also I want to know what was your favorite part about this story.
Toph, she was the only thing that redeemed this heaping pile of crap.
One other thing, if I do make a sequel is there any thing you guys would like to see? Or do you have any suggestions?
Stop writing, forever.
Let me know! Thanks for reading everyone! I appreciate every single one of my readers.
I seriously doubt you’d appreciate me.
Well we’re done, finally. What a crock of shit that was huh? Anyway, thanks for sticking with me on this cliché as fuck storyline and its incredibly asinine idiot plot. I appreciate that. Well with this done I suppose I have no other choice but to return to Ashbringer. Because why not right? After all, these other stupid fanfics have proven to be just as bad or worse. I think it’s time to stop beating round the bush and get back in the game. Otherwise that shit is gonna become my SMLoZ.
Visit Lizard-Man's Blog "The Lagoon of the Lizard-Man"
"Reviews and Let's Plays all starring the lovable Reptillian Lizard-Man"
Musical: Things Change & The End : Here
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Winters Wonderland : Here
If It Helps I know your Name : Here
We're Parents : Here
Sold! : Here
My Prince Returns : Here
|Lo-Fi Version||Time is now: 21st May 2013 - 07:28 PM|