Paragon doesn't have a personal statement currently.
From: DAWG CITY
22 years old
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Last Seen: 21st May 2016 - 07:21 AM
Local Time: Mar 27 2017, 12:32 AM
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Alright, well, since you came all the way to my profile, I suppose I should say a couple things.
I'll start with the mocks, since that's really what matters on this forum.
(In chronological order)
Forbiden fruit the tempation of edward cullen: My first mock, and one that I am quite proud of. I gotta say, the Twilight fandom is one of the best on the internet. For mocking.
Passion Night: A Harry Potter fanfic that covers all the things I hate in a fanfic: Poorly written sex, unecesary yaoi, furry sex, and more semen than a damn sperm bank.
Chamber of Commerce: one of the unlikliest of crossovers: Neon Genesis Evangelion and Harry Potter. A terribly written one at that. Rife with spelling mistakes, stupid plot holes, enough mischaracterization to make Stephanie Meyer cringe. Thank God it was never completed.
What Hurts the Most: Fans of Disney sitcoms should never be allowed to write, that is all. Fucking hate songfics.
Homestuck High: A trollfic in the worst sense of the word. So terrible, I couldn't bear to complete it. It's day shall come. I will have revenge.
May and Caroline: Takes the phrase "Motherfucking terrible" to a level that is so literal, it's goddamn disgusting. A fic that has the (dis)honor of actually making me puke.
Fallout: Equestria: The big group mock. As unfamiliar as I am with the Fallout series and mythos, I was still able to mock the fic, and I had quite a bit of fun with it. But, seriously, fuck this fic with a rusty dagger.
A Guide to Lemon Writing: By NarutosBrat: Lemons. They're the largely avoidable cancer of fanfiction. Some are good, most are bad, and this pretentious virgin decided that HE was the guy to inform the writing community about how to write sex in your stories. Chock full of "good" advice, the most important being "virgins shouldn't try to write erotica." He has since deleted the fic, making my mock the sole copy of it still in existence on the internet.
End of the Road, by NarutosBrat: Yeah, this clown again. This time he tries to take on the ever so easily handled subject of infidelity and divorce. And fails, miserably and hilariously. He apparently thought this shit was good enough to keep on his ff.net page, and did not delete it like he did with his lemon writing guide.
Twi and Me, by Hotsauce: In which a pedo neckbeard gets with a possibly of age cartoon horse. They have awful sex. And it was awful. For everyone involved, and that includes the reader. Much of the fic, however, is foreplay. Badly written foreplay, at that. I think it only serves to prep the reader when they get to the horrid sex. As for the sex...it is awful. Awful.
Dragons, Dragons, Dragons: a Fire Emblem Fanfic: My first co-mock. The fic is just silly and stupid, and I just had fun with the mock. Because the fic is stupid and shit.
The Sleepover, A My Littel Pony fanfic: How this kind of asinine, glurgy, stupid, pointless 'romance' crap gets popular I will never know. Still a better love story than Twilight, I guess.
30 Apr 2016 - 20:52
7 Jan 2016 - 17:11
11 Nov 2015 - 10:43
9 Nov 2015 - 17:09
9 Nov 2015 - 17:09
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