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> Beast Boy in Equestria, The perfect storm of head-slammingly bad ideas
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MasterOfNintendo


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post Feb 3 2017, 12:07 AM
EDIT: 2/3/17: Changed the text to pink due to it being easy on the eyes.

Imagine, if you will, that a familiar jaded individual decided, while high off his rocker and seething with irrational hate, to combine a bastardized version of his favorite show, a popular show that he vehemently dislikes for daring to have positive elements (while still being enjoyable for guys, nonetheless), and many elements of a "Human-In-Equestria" story into one big multi-chaptered mess on FIMfiction.

Chances are...you'd get Dakari King Mykan's Friendship is Failure #3: Beast Boy in Equestria.

Before any of the higher-ups pounce on me, let me explain why I'm bringing back this controversial author to light (take the phrase 'controversial' with a grain of salt, if you want). Back during the last Mykan mock, Yugioh Spiez: Operation Duel: Final Season. For those of you curious of that mock, check it out right now. Dashguy is at his best as he tears that story a new one.

At the end of the mock, Dashguy said something about not doing another Mykan work unless he does "something crazy". Even then, he admitted that whole Dueling thing wasn't even all that crazy. As of now, I'm incline to agree that Mykan hasn't done anything TOO crazy (like, say, incorporating a new show or something into his endless cycle of hatred). However, this is still special, seeing as he combined two shows that he...well, you know the story.

Teen Titans: Mykan Skin Suit #1-I mean, Beast Boy becomes an utterly awful caricature of the guy who goes into a self-destructive emo rage due to the fact he didn't get together with the earth-bending twig known as Terra (apologies to anorexic people everywhere). Melodrama ensues.

My Little Pony-Friendship is Magic:
I HATE FRIENDSHIP! I HATE HOW THIS DARED TO REAR ITS HEAD DURING ONE OF MY RAGES! I WON'T STOP TALKING ABOUT HOW THIS SHOW IS ASININE UNTIL I CROAK! Also, some pseudo-sentai stuff thrown in.

Thankfully, no Starfleet officer shows up here (thank Unicron/Kronos). So, without further adieu, let's get this travesty over with.

Pink= Me


White= Detriment

Chapter 1-Disheartened

No doubt the feeling I get every-time I stop to think that this man has been doing this thing for years by now. Talk about misplaced dedication.

Now, before we being, let's get the obligatory author's note out of the way.


MLP and Things Change have been pissing me of a lot this week, so I thought I'd make a fic to attack/punish them both in one shot... heh-heh-heh!

Yeah, whatever. As you may have noticed, Mykan has been fluctuating between his usual "tough-boy" self and a completely wily indivisual crusading to burn both worlds to the ground. Whatever the case, it comes across as deserving more of a face-palm than a cringe.

All things considered, though, I didn't expect him to take up many years before he came up with that idea.


Princess Twilight Sparkle had recently returned from the Human World on what she thought would be an emergency at the Friendship Games, but seeing as all was fine, she returned to Equestria.

So this incorporates the canon from the 'Equestria Girls' timeline? Makes sense, considering what's about to happen. Honestly, on one hand, this acted as a huge gateway (pun intended) for more HiE (Human in Equestria) fanfics by the dozen. On the other hand, that series could be pretty good. But I digress.

She was now reading quietly in her Rainbow Castle at night, but the light from the candles was disturbing Spike, whom was trying to sleep in his basket by her bed.

“Twilight, can’t you finish that book in the morning?” he groaned.

"I'm going to repeat this for the billionth time. You need to get laid!"

“I’m sorry, Spike, but… it’s just so good, I can’t put it down.” replied Twilight “It’s a story about a friend who was betrayed his friends and he went off to try and make more friends, and things didn’t go so well…”

“And let me guess…” Spike cut it “In the end, he realizes that friendship is a wonderful thing and he goes back to his friends, and they all live happily ever after.”

Twilight read on ahead, and sighed “Yes… they do.”



She closed the book, having lost interest.

“Twilight, every story you read turns out that way.” Spike said.

“Well, yeah, but… I don’t get what you’re going at.”

“I’m saying, not that I actually want this, but aren’t there stories that don’t end in happy ever afters? Where friendship doesn’t make things better?”

Twilight gasped at such a thought. “Spike, how can you say such a thing?” she thundered.

Whoa! Calm down, Twi! Look, I know Mykan is trying to make her mindset think friendship is the 'be all-end all' of all situation, but even she can take a question like that. I mean, there's no way she hasn't read at least one Shakespearean tragedy once in her life.

“Just saying, that’s all.” Spike said, and he rolled over and went to sleep. Twilight could only sigh, as she blew out her candles and snuggled into bed.

“What if Spike’s right?” she thought silently “I mean, sure sometimes friendships just don’t work out, but… Friendship can’t make things worse… can it?”

Good answer. Sometimes, friendships just don't work out and sometimes, it's best to see other people. A pity that we all know how well this is gonna end.

She finally fell asleep.

While outside, a soft wind blew across Ponyville, blowing leaves, a few papers along, and even a Wanted poster…!

A wanted criminal in Equestria, which has been bombarded with various notable criminals over the years?! What madness is this?!

The picture was of a green unicorn with no cutie-mark. Name: Changeling, though he was not an actual Changeling creature, he was wanted for stealing a magical amulet from a keeper’s store, shown in the picture around his neck, as well as terrorism, thievery, and a large reward was placed on his head for his capture, of Ten-Thousand gold bits… Wanted Dead or Alive!

Welp, everyone. Here's your villain. A Changeling wannabe that couldn't think of a better name than the species he was trying to one-up. However, this whole villain is going to really irk you once we get to a certain part. It'll make sense soon if you haven't figured it out already.

Many had been after Changeling in the hopes of collecting the reward, but so far he had not been seen nor heard from for quite a while. It was if he had vanished from the while of Equestria.

Easily fixable spelling errors: 1

Oh, c'mon. What's a Mykan fic if we can't have a bit of fun? Who knows? Maybe this is the only one? That or I'm an optimist.

Jump City California, in the human world…

The real hero of the state, Jerry Brown, continues to protect his city against the loss of the beloved sanctuary cities. Seriously. Guy's got sense AND some balls.

It was late at night, and the Teen Titans had returned to their tower after a long hard day, but finally the White Shapeshifting monster had been captured and taken to a high-tech security prison.

Turns out, Rita Repulsa sent the poor thing to the wrong area. I mean, the signs were there. Jump City has a more proactive military/police force, after all!

The Titans were only able to finally outwit the creature thanks to Beast Boy, lending his super sense of smell from being a bloodhound, but he arrived super late due to other circumstances that happened that day… which were still plaguing him.

And there it is. The whole "Beaaast Buoy best ut evurythang!" Look, he's awesome and pretty funny (barring his recent "Go" incarnation), but geez. Give some of the other team members leeway.

Also, because I thing for animals, I'm just gonna state that the Bloodhound has nothing on the Bear's sense of smell.


As the titans exited the T-Car, Starfire was glad the battle was over “I believe that was one of the most difficult of foes we have faced since our return.”

“Uh… that was the first and only creature we’ve faced since we got back.” Raven pointed out. Starfire rubbed the back of her head feeling embarrassed.

Okay, that was moderately amusing. I'll give it that. Also, Raven climbs back into my nostalgia filter as my favorite Titan.

“Well, thankfully the whole team was there this time.” Robin said, but he was shooting a few hints at Beast Boy. The others all looked at him too, but he didn’t even turn to face them, even though he knew they were right about his showing up late.

All the way on the car ride home he had the same spiritless expression on his face. None of the others had to be psychic like Raven to understand what was bothering him…

There was also him doing his damnest to use at least one of Robin's gadgets to slice his throat. That, and the incessant mumbling of "Crawling in my Skin".

..Something had gone wrong with Terra… if it even was Terra. The Titans still had a hard time believing she had actually returned, and it still baffled them.

“Well, I think I’ll go order us a pizza.” Cyborg said. “Oh, yes… I would like that.” said Starfire. “…Our first pizza since our arrival home again and to celebrate our first victory.”

"And hopefully, our favorite place won't be invaded by mentally imbalanced individuals trying to create conspiracy theories involving sex slaves and Hilary Clinton."

Seriously, what the hell was THAT all about?!

Normally Beast Boy was psyched whenever it was Pizza Night, but he hardly even moved. “Beast Boy, are you not exicted for the pizza?” asked Starfire.

As she started poking him with a stick, evoking not even a single reaction. It turned into the comedy event of the night as the antics escalated all the way into using jumper cables attached to his scrotum.

Beast Boy’s lips curled into a forced smile and he answered, “Yeah, it sounds good.”

The others remained unconvinced of his attitude, and as they all headed into the tower from the garage. “Beast Boy, hang on a second.” Robin said “…I want to talk to you.”

“Yeah, about what…?” Beast Boy asked, though he knew what was coming.

“Beast Boy… I’m not pleased that you showed up late to the battle.”

"You could have at least tried snapping us some photos of Girls Locker Room Showers!"

"Actually, I've got that covered."

"FORGIVEN!"

“Hey, we won didn’t we?”

“That’s not the point. You were needed by your team, and we almost didn’t make it.”

“Look, I’m sorry…” Beast boy said “I went to Terra’s school and…”

“That’s just it…” Robin cut it “I know you think you saw Terra, and you really want to have her back, but you need to put it behind you.”

Beast Boy clenched his fists as the pain shot through him again like a burning spear. “I didn’t think I saw Terra… I did… but it doesn’t matter now.”

He said nothing more and walked to the door.

“Beast Boy…” Robin called.

“Look, I’ll be there next time, okay?” Beast Boy said to him, almost yelling. He then apologized, and went off to his room, leaving Robin feeling very concerned and worried.

The pizza came, but Beast Boy had not come out of his room. He didn’t feel like eating, or even getting off his bed. His body was shaking painfully as he tried his hardest not to burst out crying, fearing if he did he would be in more pain and he would never be able to stop.

He then started singing the entire lyrics of "Simple Plan" in various languages.

“Things Change, Beast Boy. The girl you want me to be is just a memory.”

That horrible message and all those images continued to torment him. No matter how hard he tried to forget it, it always came back stronger and more painful than ever.

“Why, Terra? Just tell me why?” he softly cried to himself.

A small knock at his bedroom door snapped him out of his thoughts, “Beast Boy… it is I, Starfire. I have brought you some pizza. It is of the vegetarian variety.”

“Thanks, but I’m not really hungry.” he called to her. He was using every bit of strength he could summon to hide the sadness in his voice.

Outside the door, Starfire felt really bad for Beast Boy, “Beast Boy, I understand this girl whom resembles our Terra has hurt you, but it will be better in time. You will see, for the sea is bountiful with many other fish.”

And in that sea, you're becoming the Brine Shrimp if you keep this up.

There was no response!

She hung her head low, left the plate outside his door and left.

Beast Boy just lay on his bed, his tears finally were falling, but he still couldn’t find the courage to break out and sob.

"Must...retain...dignity...and...character...Raven...I...love...youuuuuuAAAA
AAAAAWLING IIIIN MMMY SKIIIIN!!!""


The next morning, Cyborg came into the lounge for an early breakfast and found Beast Boy was there, having dropped off his pizza dish from the other night, and making himself a piece of toast with tofu butter.

“Yo’ ‘B… you up already?” he asked.

“…Still awake actually.” He answered turning his face to him and Cyborg could see the burning in his eyes. “I couldn’t sleep at all.”

"I kept seeing visions of my appearance in the New 52. There's only so much bright red I can take before I start getting a migraine."

Cyborg hated seeing his little pal this way. “Look, I know it hurts, I know, I’ve been dumped a few times in my life too, but I never let it get me down all the time.”

Yeah, give your robotic buddy some props. Judging by the side material, he lost Bumblebee to Herald. Namely, the DJ who fights crime with a freaking TRUMPET. Actually, that sounds awesome in my opinion.

He could tell the way Beast Boy turned away from him that he hadn’t said the right thing, and he even began to wonder and asked “…This ain’t just about Terra, is it?”

Beast Boy shook his head.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

He shook his head again, and took his toast on a plate to leave for his room.

“I just wanna help ya get better.” Cyborg said to him.

Beast Boy stopped and looked back, and smiled sadly at him, “Thanks, dude.” But inside he was thinking “No one can help me, especially not you.”

"It's just so hard being ONE...of a ki-"

"Say that shit and I'll castrate you with a blowtorch."

Cyborg could only sigh.

Later on, Beast Boy in Terra’s unoccupied room, on her sofa, and next to him was the heart-shaped mirror box he made for her.

He could suddenly see Raven’s faded reflection in the windows of the room. She was starring grimly down at him. “I don’t want to talk about this, Raven.”

“I wasn’t going to.” she said as she made her way over to the sofa and sat down next to him.

An actual bonding moment, perhaps? Bait for the shippers (like myself)? Let's see.

He opened the box and looked at his miserable reflection in the mirror. “Why is this happening to me? Ever since we got back, it’s been nothing but one bad change after another, and it’s costing me the things and people I loved.”

You got dumped! That's it! That's the only "change" that could be considered detrimental! Look, I'm not going to pretend it doesn't suck. It sucks when someone pretty and sweet (at least, in your eyes) dumps you for any reason, good or bad, but this sounds like a 12 year old who just got told the girl he likes doesn't like him!

“That’s just how life goes sometimes. We can’t always control it.” Raven said “That doesn’t mean all changes are bad.”

“What makes you so sure?”

Raven didn’t answer for a moment “I just am sure. Change can be good and good can come from it… for everyone. It’s just a thing we all have to accept, embrace who we are, and maybe even be thankful for it.”

"For example, would you rather I'd stayed a potential succubus under Trigon's tutelage?"

To him she was starting to sound exactly like Terra and what she had said to him…

“You’re the Teen Titan, that’s who you are. That’s not me. I’m not a hero. I’m not out to save the world. I’m just a girl with a geometry test next period and I haven’t studied.”

Let's see. One speech is meant to be comforting and sweet (and coming from the resident cynic, no less, as an example of character development), the other one is more melancholy and brutally honest. How are they the same again despite an interlacing theme of change?

Raven gazed at him, and she could tell he was thinking of HER again, and she hated to see him so down hearted.

She felt like telling him something, something very important, but he slowly got up before she had a chance and he began to walk to the door. “Things do Change, Raven… but there are some things you just can’t change. I know this…”

Well, not the worse thing that could have happened. He's still acting like a bitch, but not as much as in previous fics.

Then he left the room, and Raven kept her eyes on him until he was out of sight. She clutched her hand to her chest. “I should’ve told him.”

My suspicions are confirmed. Mykan just put in ship-tease for Raven and Beast Boy, a ship that I think we can all agree is superior to that slag with Terra. Also, a ship that Mykan finds utterly repulsive. This can only end so well.

See you soon.


This post has been edited by MasterOfNintendo: Feb 4 2017, 11:00 AM


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Post #2
Dashguy


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post Feb 3 2017, 05:34 AM
Pretty good job with the mock, I must say. My only suggestion is that you change the color of your comments to something easier on the eyes.

QUOTE
“I’m saying, not that I actually want this, but aren’t there stories that don’t end in happy ever afters? Where friendship doesn’t make things better?”

Twilight gasped at such a thought. “Spike, how can you say such a thing?” she thundered.

It's fascinating how people who want to make a point against the values of the show always resort to strawman arguments, portraying the ponies as little more than friendship obsessed Care Bears. The fun thing is, the amount of reformed antagonists is significantly smaller than those who aren't. Out of the major villains, you've only got Discord and Starlight Glimmer. Nightmare Moon was essentialy obliterated to free Luna, King Sombra was destroyed and Tirek drained of his power and jailed. The Changeling Queen was offered friendship, but only after her army was turned against her and her castle demolished. Out of the mundane jerks, there's only Gilda and Trixie, plus Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, a pair children. The rest of the jerks are quickly called out and told to take a hike. If you don't believe me, here's good ol' Tvtropes with a fancy character list.

QUOTE
“Why, Terra? Just tell me why?” he softly cried to himself.

How fucking self-centered do you have to be to not think even for a second that maybe, just maybe, this is what she wants? That girl did a fuck ton of bad shit, both willing and accidentally. Shit that she may never be able to atone for. And now that she's got an opportunity to leave that stuff behind and start anew, the only thing you can think of is your dick.
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UnsavoryGlint


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post Feb 3 2017, 08:09 AM
I appreciate your bravery delving into this.

I really don't understand Mykan, I mean, if you don't like it, why focus on it and write archives worth of stories? You're technically just triggering yourself tongue.gif


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MasterOfNintendo


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post Feb 3 2017, 07:37 PM
Holy slag! I did not expect not only NOT to get chewed out by the higher-ups for bringing this author back from the grave, but to actually be praised for it by Dashguy at all. I feel honored to receive that compliment. In fact...

-To Dashguy: Thanks for the advice about the text. I guess I could change it for once. Pink IS my favorite color next to purple. Also, wow. That's actually a really good point. The amount of redeemed villains is actually low compared to how many have retreated/been purged. Also, yeah. Care Bears. That's what he's reduced these characters to. And then there's Beast Boy's selfish musings. We'll get into him later.

-To UnsavoryGlint: Don't hurt yourself trying to understand this. Mykan considers this self-destructive path a way of life and frankly, we've lost him already.

Before I continue into this wreck, I forgot to mention another thing. As you may have saw from the title, this is the third in a series of fics aptly titled "Friendship is Failure". Basically, it tries to undermine the concept of the show to zero sucess (somehow, Starlight Glimmer is still redeemed in that series). Not that anyone should care. We've got ourselves a failure already. Let's dive in once again.

Pink= Myself


White= A waste of time

Chapter 2: Ever Growing Pains

Oh, dear lord, PLEASE tell me the Incredible Beast doesn't make a cameo! No-one here needs reminders of that slag!

That same morning in Equestria, Twilight and Spike were out on their constitutional walk around Ponyville.

Twilight took a deep sniff of the air, “Ahh… I love the smell of the morning air.”

“Absolutely...” Spike agreed, then his tummy rumbled “But I’d like the smell of breakfast even more.”

Twilight giggled, “Me too.”

I'm surprised Mykan didn't go for irony points by having them want a heaping pile of waffles. Then again, Teen Titans Go made an entire episode based on that joke and look how fragging well that turned out.

Along the way to the nearest café, they noticed Pinkie Pie go about with a detective hat on her head, a magnifying glass clutched in her hoof and she was snooping around and virtually everything she spotted; peering under rocks, behind shrubs, even looking in garbage cans.

Uh, yeah, Ponyville's fragged if this is our star detective. She's great and all, but her detective skills are sorely lacking. After all, who forgets that THEY ate the cake in the first place?! Long story.

Finally, she saw Twilight and Spike… practically closing in on them under the end of her magnifying glass nearly touched Twilight’ muzzle

No period there. Might as well include that.

Easily fixable spelling errors: 2

“Um, Pinkie Pie, what are you…?”

“Shhhhh…!” Pinkie said “I’m hot on the trail, I’m looking for clues that’ll lead me to find and capture Changeling.” She held out one of the wanted posters “If I get that reward money, I’m going throw you all the biggest party I’ve ever thrown.”

I can almost imagine that the wanted posters were put up by actual changelings, no doubt pissed off at how much of a poser this guy was.

A pony passed by on her way into town, and Pinkie stopped her and began to question her. “Alright, talk the talk missy. Where’d you pinch the hooch? Is some big dawg hiddin’ under your bed…?”

The pony felt shocked and confused, but Twilight intervened. “I’m really sorry about this.”

I'd react that way too if one of my friends suddenly lost an inordinate amount of brain cells and started speaking utter nonsense. Seriously, what the hell was that?!

The pony went on her way, and Twilight and Spike glared sternly at Pinkie. “What? I was in the moment.” her stomach growled, “Now I’m in the hungry moment.”

They decided to let her come with them to breakfast, and after they ate they all felt a little better. Spike belched softly, “Oops… sorry.”

Riveting.

The girls didn’t mind, and Pinkie was the eager to get back on the case, and Twilight decided to venture off alone with Spike, both of them not wanting to be embarrassed by Pinkie’s antics.

“Just don’t be disappointed if some-pony else finds him first.” Twilight said. “Oh, I won’t be…” Pinkie said “I’m going to find him first, so why would I be disappointed? Oh, a witness. Hey you…!” then she bounced off.

“You really think we should leave her alone?” asked Spike.

Twilight felt it was for the best and hoped Pinkie would tired out of it soon enough.

Moments later, Pinkie had to pay for the thousands of therapy bills her "suspects" had due to her interrogation techniques. Specifically, a showing of Newborn Cuties. Seriously. DO NOT GOOGLE.

Suddenly, Twilight felt a shiver run down her back.

“What’s wrong?” asked Spike. “I just got that weird feeling… that somewhere, something isn’t going right.”

Horrible sentence structure aside, it's a disappointment she hasn't seen the strings the author put on her so she could be his little straw-mare.

“Here she goes again.” Spike said, but he said it himself.

Meanwhile in a bastardized corner of the Cartoon Network Universe...

In Jump City, Beast Boy decided to go for a long, long walk and search through whatever was left of his feelings while singing a sad song to himself…

Thankfully, unlike previous fics, we don't have to see the lyrics butchered/utilized to express Beast Boy's "deepness". Rather, he uses the youtube video shown here.



Yep. Just try to imagine Beast Boy singing this acclaimed song with his regular voice and the unintentional hilarity is complete. And no, I am not acknowledging that whole "Magic Voices" thing. It was retarded to begin with and the only one who has done something of a similar caliber right was Zorak from The Brak Show. And he did good enough with his own voice, as well.



In his words: "...Choke on it."

As he walked along the streets while singing, he was saddened by the many changes he saw in the city…

Like that new giant office complex that got rid of his favorite candy store…

Yes! How DARE people are given even more job opportunities in this town!

The video store that had closed down, a large board in front of it shown it was going to be made into a hardware store, hardly of any use or joy to him.

Except, you know, if his favorite video game system crashes and he needs help repairing it. Also, way to show how selfish he's becoming here. It's heart-wrenching if serves no purpose to this dumbass elf.

Then there were more changes he hadn’t noticed. The bowling alley was closed down to be converted into a Scrap-Metal Dealers. The skate park was already demolished to make way for yet another new office high-rise. Why, even the broken-down amusement park by the piers had finally been all scraped and replaced with a warehouse for boat shipping.

Look, you'd be looking for a better economy too if your city was routinely assaulted by super-criminals. I can't wait for Beast Boy to bitch and moan about more changes as Darkseid razes the city to the ground.

More and more of Beast Boy’s usual favorite hangout places were being replaced by places of business or of things that were not for him, and the more he looked he was seeing fewer and fewer places to have fun

And to add insult to injury, as he walked along, hardly anyone seemed to look his way, or welcome him back to town after months of fighting The Brotherhood of Evil.

Are you serious?! You got lavished with praise after beating that insidious organization! That, and not everyone in this city knows of that (to the best of my knowledge, anyway). Would you really want to babble to the city that it almost got lorded over by a brain-in-a-jar and his gay gorilla sidekick?

…it was like he was invisible.

Finally, reaching the park, the one of very few places that remained untouched by the changes, and he sat down a bench.

Four kids came running along, all having Teen Titan figurines.

Are we still in the days in which Cartoon Network thought it was a toy company for some reason and shafted Young Justice because of it? If it is, I'm getting the hell out of dodge.

“I have Robin. He’s cool.”

“I have Starfire. She’s cute.”

“I have Cyborg. He rocks.”

“I have Raven. She’s magical.”

The kids all ran past Beast Boy, again, hardly noticing him, and the fact that none of them had a Beast Boy figurine, or even mentioned him…!

Boo hoo, there were only 4 kids and they probably didn't have the time/money/interest to buy a freaking Beast Boy figurine. Say, remember when being a hero wasn't about the fame and about...you know...SAVING THE WORLD FROM OBLIVION?!

…All he could do was hand his head low down, and sit by himself as the song finally ended.

Wait, there was a song going on? Oh, right. I stopped caring.

Only right then…

“Hey, Brat boy…!”

And lo and behold, that familiar phrase. Reminds me of good ol' Lizard Man. May his mock be looked upon for ages.

He looked up and saw two familiar girls, Terra’s friends from school; Jackie, the redhead and Jillian the black girl “What do you think you’re doing here?” Jillian snorted at him.

“I’m just sitting.” Beast Boy said “What is that a crime?”

Easily fixable spelling errors: 3

Also, yes. The blood from the various cuts you made on yourself is freaking everyone out.

“Um… yeah… that’s our bench.” said Jackie “So beat it!”

“Yeah! Get lost, Brat Boy!” sneered Jillian.

I can almost imagine the Mykan-implanted gears in their heads almost being shut down as they tried to make the girls think of an excuse to act like discount version of Bulk and Skull. In times like this, I miss those two ranger loving troublemakers.

He felt his patience starting to wane. “First: It’s Beast Boy! Second: I was here first… and this is a public bench!”

The girls only responded by pushing him off the bench and to the ground and people nearby who saw it just laughed at him rather than scolded the mean girls!

There's the classic element of making everyone in Jump City an idiot. Keep in mind folks. This guy has the potential to turn into a Acrocanthosaurus.



Yeah. Wouldn't want to face that!

Nothing would have please him more than to string the girls up a lamppost by their skirts, but not wanting to cause trouble between civilians, he decided it best to just walk away.

“Look at the geek walk off.” Jackie mocked.

“Yeah, he’s more chicken.” Added Jillian, and she and her friends started to cluck and flap about to tease him more. “If I’m chicken, why are you two flapping and clucking…?” he called back to them.

The girls froze and looked in shock and felt deeply offended, some of the people even laughed at them.

Sick burn, Garfield.

The girls were not willing to let him get away with this…

"Get the drill. I wanna see if this guy actually has a brain."

From within the shrubs, a pair of shadowy eyes peered through the leaves, having seen everything and began to figure “I may be able to use this to my advantage.”

He snickered softly, only to be interrupted by a rouge Frisbee landing in the shrubs.

He immediately chased after it, blowing his cover. Turns out, that amulet screwed with his cognitive skills.

The guy who threw it dashed over, and grabbed the Frisbee. Surely even he could have seen someone hiding in the shrubs, but there was no one there at all.

At the same moment, another guy ordering a hotdog from a vendor was just getting a napkin, and while his back was turned, someone wearing a long black cloak and hood snatched the hotdog and just disappeared, and when the guy and the vendor turned to see the hotdog was gone… they couldn’t understand it.

So far, the first thing our "terrifying threat wanted by the Equestrian officials" has done is inconvenience a vendor. HIGH OCTANE SUSPENSE!

As Beast Boy turned a corner, he bumped into someone else coming round the other way…

…Terra!

They both gazed into each other’s eyes.

Before they both got brain clots and died, thus ending this story.

Then he looked away from her and quickly got up, but he couldn’t resist being kind and offered his hand to help her up.

“Thanks…” she said softly.

“Eh…” was all he could say and he turned away walking up the street, while all she did was stare at him until he was out of sight. All she could picture was that miserable expression on his face-- the look of emptiness in his eyes, and the spiritless tone in his voice.

Well, this is better than what happened in End of Ends. I'll give it that. Also, with all this talk of his eyes being empty, I keep imagining his face looking like a wraith. Not a pretty image.

She thought back to their last meeting at her school, and how she told him to let her be and live the normal life she wanted.

“I’m sorry, Beast Boy.” she said to herself, “I know you’re hurting, but it’ll get better soon for both of us. At least I won’t be able to hurt anymore.”

True, that. Let's see how many ways this story forces her to rethink that decision.

“Yo…!” called a voice and she looked back and saw her two friends jogging up to her. She smiled and was glad to see them, and walked off to school together, which wasn’t far from where they were.

As they walked along, Terra looked back and saw what she thought was a green butterfly, and that maybe it was Beast Boy stalking her again, but it was just her mind playing tricks on her as the butterfly was actually blue and wasn’t Beast Boy at all.

"Yeah! That'll show those mockers that I can actually learn from my mistakes! Now, off to repeat the same formula over and over again until I'm nothing but ashes to picked up by the landlord! Speaking of which, he's been standing outside my house for...weeks, now...oh, crap."

“You okay?” Jackie asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Terra said, but her friends were not convinced and wondered if she was actually thinking of “that green guy” again.

Whether or not, the two of them were already planning to get back at him for insulting them and sitting on their bench in the park.

Pettiness: The surefire way to demonize characters in terms of fanfiction.

Meanwhile, Beast Boy had flown up to a high-rise rooftop and was unable to face that he had just run into Terra again. “Snap out of it, dude!” he said to himself “Give her space. Let her be!”

That's right! Fight, Beast Boy! Fight! I've talked slag about you for a while now, but I know you're in there somewhere!

All he did was end up hurting himself inside and a couple tears fell from his eyes, splashing on the ledge of the roof and standing his gloves.

By the word "splashing", you possible mean his tears were so big, the impact of them killed a few passerbys. Either way, ugh.

He was snapped out of his trance when his communicator went off and Robin called to him “Come in, Beast Boy! We need your help!”

It was a break in at the First National Bank.

Beast boy wiped his tears away and replied “I’m on my way!” Then he turned into a falcon and flew over the town, but for the quickest way he had to fly over the Murakami School, and he could Terra and her two friends heading inside, which began to shake up his sadness again.

He didn't even resist when he was shot in the heart and proudly displayed by the Duck Hunt dog.

Still, he just kept on going. His team needed him!

Well, that was fun. Except it wasn't.

See you soon.


This post has been edited by MasterOfNintendo: Feb 3 2017, 07:47 PM


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GorillaGamer


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post Feb 3 2017, 08:20 PM
While I admit that I joined these forums after the Mykan craze died out, I've heard enough stories about him, that paints him in a negative light.

The mock so far is great, but there's one thing I want to point out.

QUOTE
Before any of the higher-ups pounce on me, let me explain why I'm bringing back this controversial author to light


While I don't see the higher-ups having a problem with someone mocking a Mykan fic, they do have a problem with forum users talking to him, in an attempt to try and fix him or something. I'm not saying you're guilty of this, I'm just letting you know that it wouldn't be wise to contact the guy, in regards to the mock.


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List of mocks can be found here: Here


QUOTE (AnItalianGuy @ May 27 2016, 02:03 AM) *
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
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Post #6
MasterOfNintendo


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post Feb 4 2017, 01:06 AM
To GorillaGamer: Sadly, in the past, I have talked with Mykan and tried to treat him like an old friend. Sadly, he didn't seem to like it if I got the least bit out of line. Yeah. That was a mistake. I see your point.

Enough of that. Onto the mock.

Pink= Me


White= What they mean by "keep things to yourself"

Chapter 3: Lack of Initiative

Not a problem for Mykan, who has too MUCH initiative to write this slag.

Applejack was pulling along a cart of apples and Pinkie Pie was walking suspiciously next to her. “For the last time, Sugarcube: There ain’t no thieves hidin’ in my wagon.”

"And for the love of Faust AND Unicron, stop tryin' to investigate if Apple Bloom is actually my daughter by Bic Mac!"

"But the fanfics said-"

"You finish that and you get both barrels."

“I know that, I’m just looking for one.” said Pinkie.

Applejack sighed but as she stopped at a crosswalk, the apples in her cart began to rumble as if something were in fact inside the cart.

The two ponies gawked in slight fear, and that’s when Angel the rabbit popped his head out, spilling several apples out of the cart.

Moments later, Pinkie Pie was running for dear life after she crush the rabbit out of panic and Fluttershy found out.

Speaking of which...


Fluttershy came fluttering along. “Oh, there you are, Angel. I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Were you sneaking around in the apple orchards again?”

Angel acted coy and denied it, but Fluttershy gave him a naughty stare trying to psyche him into confessing.

“Darn, not the thief I’m looking for.” sighed Pinkie.

“Thief…? What thief?” Fluttershy asked, and Pinkie showed her the Wanted Poster of Changeling she had with her, making Fluttershy yelp and take cover under the cart, with her hoofs over her eyes and she was quivering.

It's just a shitty OC recolor. Maybe an "Oh, dear" would be fine, but that? Mykan, I am dissapoint.

Applejack pulled the wagon away, “You okay, Fluttershy?”

Fluttershy slowly looked up, “I’ve heard stories of Changeling… he’s really nasty.”

She explained that she heard stories that not only did Changeling steal things, but he was thought to long for world dominance, hence his lust for power, and he was willing to do absolutely ANYTHING to get what he wanted… even kill others!

As frightening as that sounded, Applejack didn’t believe it “Horse feathers. There ain’t been a death since that creep ever first appeared on the most wanted list.”

“But… but… don’t you think it’s possible he would… kill… someone?”

So, he's basically a common crook with false dreams of grandeur. There goes the tension. I mean, not every villain needs a body count to be terrifying, but still. Also, it's nice to see Fluttershy knows of this villain who has NEVER been mentioned before. Guess Discord gave her the memo.

Speaking of which, where is he? We could use the levity.


This Applejack couldn’t deny and was beginning to see the importance of Changeling’s capture. “Well, I hope they find him and haul him in soon.” She simply said and then walked off with her cart “Meanwhile, I gotta get back to my shipment. I can’t let every single scary thing stop me from makin’ a livin’.”

Spoken like a mare who's bloodline included having to live in an unforgiving desert. Yeah, I've still got a few theories why her parents aren't around.

Attached Image

A guy can dream, right?

The others had no idea how she could act so brave, but Pinkie remained determined to find Changeling. “You’re out there somewhere, but where?” she grumbled to herself.

Goes to show that, for all her cheerfulness, you don't screw around with the pink terror after she's got you on her list. At least she isn't a crybaby as per the norm in Mykan's world.

And speaking of Mykan's world...


At School, Terra got back her geometry test, and she got a D-Minus. “You’re going to have to work a little bit harder next time.” the teacher said to her.

“Yes, sir, I’ll try.” Terra said.

Then the teacher gave the two Js their tests, “As for you two… read ‘em and weep.”, both tests were mark with large Fs, much to the girl’s annoyance!

Aw, great. Another staple. The teacher acts professional one moment and then he acts like a jackass the next. No wonder these two are jaded in this universe. I'd want to vent my anger at something if EVERYTHING was conspiring against me. Or I'd just hold out for companionship.

“It’s all that green geek’s fault!” Jackie said to Jillian. “Yeah, he distracted us from our studies. Only another thing he’s going to pay for.” added Jillian.

Terra didn’t really hear them and just stared down at her marked test. Naturally it would’ve helped if she had studied, but on the test were easy problems she knew and could have solved without studying, yet she answered them incorrectly anyway. Reason: All through the test she was constantly thinking of Beast Boy, and how he asked her to come with him… and what she told him.

This...really isn't healthy. At all. I think we can all guess why.

“Things Change, Beast Boy. The girl you want me to be is just a memory.”

Even when she left him to go to class, she still saw that expression he had… the kind you only made when you were super crushed. It seemed almost identical as the expression he had when she bumped into him earlier.

She sighed softly, almost as if she were in deep regret of what she had done, but she felt this was for the best for both herself and for Beast Boy. She didn’t want to be tempted to go back to him, to the Titans, or try to become a hero ever again.

Well, you did tear up the city when you tried last time. The least you can do is donate to charity if you're up for something heroic.

This was where she belonged… This was where and how she wanted to be… wasn’t it?

Her insides were trembling and she clenched her fist softly, making the stone flooring beneath her vibrate ever so softly. She quickly stopped, but the Js saw this though. “What was that?” Jackie softly called over to Terra.

“What was what?” Terra asked trying to sound innocent.

“We saw that… the ground was shaking.” said Jillian.

Just say it was Graboids. Not the best source for a crossover with Teen Titans, but it's better than this by a long shot.

The teacher cleared his throat and gave the girls a stare, telling them to be quiet during class.

Terra sighed softly in relief. She couldn’t let anyone know of her powers. They’d probably regard her as a freak, maybe even cast her out… or worse realize she was Slade’s former apprentice who nearly destroyed the city.

Okay, freak? Maybe. Cast you out? A bit severe. Discovered as Slade's former apprentice? Only if you blurted it out! Actually, I don't remember the show that well and maybe there were some witnesses, but still.

For now, all she wanted to do was concentrate and try to keep her mind on the present.

I agree. For corn's sake, this is starting to effect your personal life. Congratulations, Mykan! You made it practically impossible for them to function without each-other. Kind of like a parasitic relationship.

The Titans had already arrived on the scene where the First National Bank was being robbed by a group of five robbers. Unfortunately, rather than traditional weapons, these guys were armed with huge exoskeletal armored suit; armed with machine guns, flame throwers, and missiles especially!

I'm going to assume they took cues from Firefly. Anybody remember that DC villain? He was cool.

“Titans, go!” shouted Robin, and the heroes lunged into battle.

"At least it isn't Slade again. Progress!"

“Get ‘em, guys!” the lead robber shouted, and his four teammates stomped forward in their suits, shooting their machine guns forcing the titans to scatter.

It would have been awesome to have Raven stop the bullets in mid-air with her magic, but nope!

Starfire fired her starbolts at the machines, Cyborg fired his sonic-cannon and Robin threw his disc-bombs, but the machines hardly got scratched. The attacks just weren’t powerful enough.

Okay. Now, I'm interested. How did 5 unnamed losers get their hands on suits that can repel all that slag? Give them a name or something! Maybe, "The Armored Heist". Something like that.

“We’re just getting warmed up.” One of the robbers laughed, and he and his friends fired their flame throwers, forcing Raven to put up a dark wall to shield her and the others.

“I can’t get a clear shot at them from here.” shouted Cyborg.

“Beast Boy, can you try and knock them over?” said Robin “then maybe they won’t be able to get back up. We’ll distract them.”

Beast Boy nodded and changed into a rhino, but he looked a little shaky, on the count of he was still rather tired due to hardly getting any sleep last night.

Ever hear the noise a rhino (or a baby rhino, as I've heard) makes when it gets nervous? It's freaking adorable.



Still, the titans began to launch their attacks at the robbers, distracting them, and this gave Beast Boy the chance to charge. He stampeded forth and rammed one of the bots hard.

“HEY!!” shouted the robber in control, as he found himself falling off balance and then falling flat on his back, unable to get back up.

He's fallen...and he can't get up because he's bleeding internally and possibly gonna die without immediate medical help. Seriously. A rhino charge can frag you up HARD.

“That’s one down.” said Cyborg.

“Oh, yeah, try this!” another robber shouted as he and his buddy beside him fired their missiles.

“WATCH IT!!” shouted Robin as the four rockets headed straight

For what? Finish your sentences, Mykan! We're grown-ups, remember?

“Goin’ airborne!” shouted Cyborg, and he leapt up catching two of the missiles under his arms until they ran out of thrust. “BOOYAH!! THAT’S TOUCHDOWN!!” he cried. As for the other two missiles; “Azarath… Metrion… ZINTHOS…!!” Raven blasted them hard in a steam of power, and sent them hurtling back to their senders.

“WHOA!”

“BAIL OUT!!”

The robbers jumped clear just in time as the missiles hit their bots and blew them up.

Okay. That just saved their reputations there in this fic. They've still got it, even Beast Boy (marginally). So, how does this go wrong again?

The three robbers were ready to fight the Titans themselves, while the other two decided to split while they could with a large bag of money and some heavy gold. Their bots were also equipped with jet propulsions, and they just took off.

Oh. Fight's not over yet. Gotta say. Those 3 of the 5 have got some balls to keep on going after an assault like that.

“Beast Boy, Starfire, go after them!” Robin shouted “We’ll handle these guys.”

“Come, friend…” Starfire called as she took off after the robbers, and Beast Boy followed her as peregrine falcon. The fastest flying creature he could be.

Not gonna lie. That's a pretty good choice. You can't beat 200 mph at diving speed.

The two were able to catch up with the flying bots, due to the bots being slowed down by the heavy gold they were towing with them. “Ditch the money!” the leader shouted. His partner reluctantly agreed, and the two let go of the sacks which fell to the ground.

“Beast Boy, save the money… I shall pursue the villains.” said Starfire.

Beast Boy agreed and changed into a pterodactyl, and swooped down to catch the sacks.

Goodie! I've always loved the prehistoric modes he took on. Then again, one has to wonder how strong the species of Pterodactyl he took on in order to lift that thing.

While Starfire fired her eye-lasers at the two bots, shorting out their jets, causing them to lose height and fall, and she chased after them to apprehend the two crooks.

Beast Boy, clutched the heavy sacks in his talons and knew he had to get the money back to the bank, unfortunately his weariness finally caught up with him and he could barely hang on, and there he was slowly descending to the ground a few miles from the bank, and he just collapsed to sleep on the sidewalk with the large bags by his side.

In all honesty, pterodactyls aren't eagles. Most of them only use their feet for landing. Sorry 'bout that. Also, you spent the night pining over a lost cause. That really tears your chances.

He was really out cold that he couldn’t notice someone walking up to him. Someone mysterious wearing a black robe and hood.

He pulled one of the bags open and his eyes glistened within the shadows of his hood. “Well…” he hissed “What do you know? I just hit me a jackpot and I didn’t have to do a thing.”

Oh, look. He hisses. Like I expected any different. Why couldn't you just give Changeling the Steve Blume Starscream voice? That would have at least been entertaining.

His gaze then fell upon Beast Boy and silently hissed to himself, “Yes… you’ll do nicely for me.”

He was interrupted however by the sound of sirens wailing as the authorities were nearing the area. He had no choice to flee.

A soft glow emitted from his neck, and he and the bags of money just vanished without a trace and left Beast Boy lying asleep on the sidewalk.

Beast Boy awoke, and he stretched out and yawned, only to find he was back in the tower, and the others were gazing down at him with looks of disappointment. “What’s up?” he asked.

Now, I'm getting the impression that the Titans had to divert some crazy cryptologists who kept posting on the Twitter that pterosaurs were coming to invade Jump City. Sorry, guys. You lost the city when it got attacked by aliens on multiple occasions.

Robin then turned on the TV to the news.

“In local news, the Teen Titans answered to the robbery of the first national bank which had been broken into by five men in technological suits. Police and the Bank officials insist that approximately two million dollars had been stolen, and while the Titans succeeded in apprehending the criminals and destroying their techno-suits, the money had not been retrieved and is presumed lost.”

"In other news, Regular Show has ended and the universe rejoiced due to its heartwarming ending. It's more than I can say for this craphole we know live."

Robin shut the TV off, and Beast Boy suddenly remembered having collapsed in exhaustion and the money was right near him. “Oh, no…!” he cried.

Robin scolded him, “You fell asleep on the job, Beast Boy.”

"You don't see me doing that and I had to contend with a guy dressed as a bat watching me at every turn. He was cool and all, but we just drifted apart."

Remorseful and ashamed as Beast Boy felt, he tried to excuse his lack of initiative. “Dude, I was exhausted, I could hardly keep my eyes open.”

“Well, why didn’t you just take one of your pep pills?” Cyborg asked.

"As of now, though, I'm thinking good ol' cocaine. It worked for Snowflame after all."

"Is the series he starred in even relevant anymore?"

Now Beast Boy felt even more ashamed, knowing he should had taken one of the pills to keep him awake like all the team members were instructed to do so.

“I ran into Terra earlier, and I…”

The other immediately rolled their eyes; Cyborg smacked his own forehead groaning “Ah, man.”

Yeah. I know, right? You're now stuck with Bitch Boy. Playing video games with him is going to be a herculean feat.

“You failed to follow protocol because you were stalking the girl who resembles our Terra again?” Starfire asked.

Wait. What do you mean 'again'? Are you telling me he actually stalked her before he just didn't feel like doing it today?! There goes that notion of that mistake getting rectified! Now, we've got ourselves a case of the bitchy little elf that cried Terra.

“I wasn’t stalking her, I just ran into her, and I got a little upset and…”

The others felt they had heard enough, and began to walk away. “Guys, hey…! You got the crooks, didn’t you?”

“That’s not the point, Beast Boy.” said Robin “You were trusted to bring the money back. Now, because of you lack of initiative, many people have lost their money.”

“Well, excuse me!” Beast Boy sneered angrily “None of us is perfect, you know, and I going through a rough time.”

Robin, put this guy in his place. You're team leader, after all.

“Bottom line, Beast Boy…” Robin said “Is you need to learn to let go, and focus on more important things.”

Beast Boy tried to look to the others for sympathy, but they all seemed to agree with Robin.

You know, there was this time in college where I did the same thing when I wanted favor with my college English teacher. It worked as well as this did because I, like our "hero" here, needed to man-up. It's called being cruel to be kind, especially when the issue is as petty as this.

Beast Boy, saying nothing to them, turned and left the lounge to be by himself.

The others could only look in the direction he walked, thinking he really had it bad, and they all felt that the sooner he learned to put the past behind him the better.

My sentiments exactly. In fact, to illustrate my point...



See you soon.


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Post #7
MasterOfNintendo


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post Feb 4 2017, 12:04 PM
Well, here we are again. I'm on a roll with this thing and I should. This things got quite a few chapters under its belt.

Pink= Myself


White= Cause of Face-Palm

Chapter 4: Telling Off

No doubt what many have done to Mykan after the infamous scene in Starfleet Magic Season V. Mainly, the one involving a pillar, Princess Cadence, an unborn child, and unbridled hate.

Beast Boy took a good long nap and woke up at sunset, but he was still feeling miserable, and he was now up on the roof, sulking to himself.

He couldn’t believe how inconsiderate his friends were acting towards him instead of being sympathetic or at least trying to understand that he was grieving.

“Then again, how could they understand.” he thought to himself “All they care about is moving on, and letting go.”

Because the whole "you and Terra" thing is essentially a non-issue. They take you for more than this! She wasn't worth it, okay? I think we've bore that into your head by now across various mocks.

“Hey…” Raven called softly to him.

He turned and looked at her grimly as she came and sat down beside him. “I thought you were mad at me.”

“Not really… just disappointed.”

He sighed, “Oh that makes it better.” he grumbled “Look, I know I screwed up, but I didn’t mean to.”

“Beast Boy, it’s not just that... we’re all worried about you. You’re starting to fall apart. You’re not acting like your usual self.”

It's those kind of moments that make me forget that this is a Mykan fic and start to really think about how cute these two are. Especially when Raven takes the initiative to help get him out of this funk despite the absurdity of the situation.

He shrugged his shoulders, “Guess you and Terra were right… Things do Change in life. Guess I was long overdue, besides, you hardly like the way I acted before anyway. You always said my jokes weren’t funny, you gave me a lot of attitude, and you insulted me a lot.”

She couldn’t deny this, not at all. “No one’s perfect.” She said, using his own words against him, but he seemed unfazed.

Against him?! She's agreeing with him! Nobody's perfect is a great way to describe a bunch of characters on this show! Robin is the leader figure, but he can be a bit testy. Starfire is sweet, but a bit naive. Cyborg is laid back, but with a few issues regarding his origin. Raven is powerful, but the daughter of Trigon. And your REAL self is enthusiastic, but a bit immature. THINK!!!

Her fingers gave a small twitch as if she wanted to reach over to him. “Beast Boy, I also said that change can be good, and what you’re doing right now isn’t good; not to yourself, and not to the team, but you won’t even tell us what’s really bothering you.”

Okay, in all honesty, I think it's clear. He's being pissy over being dumped and the town having the audacity to move on to a new age of prosperity. Then again, it's nice of her to ask.

“I already told you guys this…” he said to her “I don’t want to talk about it because you can’t help me. No one can.”



Sad, but true.

“How do you know we can’t?”

Good question! Your rebuttal, Garfield?

“I just do.” He didn’t want to tell her the real reason why he wouldn’t tell, feeling she wouldn’t understand and it would make things worse.

...I expected nothing and I'm still unamused.

She could see this, not what he was really thinking, but knew it was disturbing him. She didn’t like this, and felt her insides starting to quiver.

“Beast Boy…” she paused “What if it was possible that you could move on?”

As expected, he didn’t react too well, and just slumped. “Why do you keep telling me that?”

She hesitated, “Beast Boy, I’m just asking you what if… what if there was someone out there who liked you… as much as Terra did?”

She's going for the touchdown, guys! Raven, I've got a great idea! Since words won't work here, try loosening your clothes a bit. It's lewd, but who could resist a figure like that? And a brain like yours to match!

“Huh?” he said turning to face her “What are you saying?” but he could see the blushing in her cheeks, and the way she was looking at him, and he was virtually speechless!

"I've been a complete asshole! Where are my meds?!"

That would have been the good (and funny) ending.

“Beast Boy… I… I…” she slowly reached her hand to his face, slowly moving her own face closer intent to kiss him…

Freaking out, Beast Boy wretched himself away from her. She looked up at him, now with a hint of sadness in her eyes, a side of her he didn’t see very often.

“Sorry, Raven… I can’t.”

"I've been turned into an impotent idiot. Never forget who I once was. The rest...is silence."

She continued to gawk at him, almost unable to believe this.

“Don’t get me wrong, you’re an amazing, but you’re just not my type, and frankly I don’t see how you could even like me that way after all the other things you’ve done.”

Great to see you can't even finish the compliment at the start of that. Are you trying to make her feel bad after the support she just gave you? In her own way and all that, but still.

He referred to all the times she insulted him, hit him, and gave him attitude. Very little we’re of good loving moments.

Oh...I can name quite a few episodes that prove otherwise...I'll explain later why the notion above is bullcrap later.

-Nevermore
-Mad Mod
-After Shock (a Terra episode, no less)
-Spell Bound
-Birthmark (after a rocky start)
-The End


Raven’s sadness began to mix with a slight hint of outrage “Is that all you see me as… just… creepy?”

“I didn’t say that. I’m just saying that we’re far too different. We’re not compatible.”

“How do you know? You haven’t even tried.” her voice sounding angrier and her features hardening.

“Look, I may not be very bright at times, but I do know this much… Love is not something that two people can try to make happen. They either have something very special, or they don’t. And we don’t, Raven. I’m sorry, I just don’t feel it.”

"So, basically, I have the same bullshit philosophy the author has that love is basically destiny and it has to be treated as a reward. I want a girl who has no spine at all. Now, please. Put that crowbar down before-" TWACK!

Raven got up, and left in a huff.

“Raven… I’m really sorry.”

All she did was look back at him a stern expression, as if she were mad enough to kill, and then she walked off.

Beast Boy smacked his own forehead. He hated to hurt her like that, but he had to be truthful, and right now he needed to get out of the tower, again.

Congrats. You just lost her to THIS fellow.

Attached Image

Who needs an emo elf when you've got power and charisma? And an actual brain and soul. Seriously. It's really bad when the alien kaiju controlled once by a guy who literally called himself Alien Bat is a better fish in the sea.

Another one of the few places left he had unaffected by the changes was Ben’s Café, the place he and Terra went to on their first and only ever date.

Let me guess? It's basically become Valhalla in your backwards way of thinking?

It was a little slow that evening, but still upon his arrival, people took one look at him and their features hardened with scorn. All of them were people who had been affected by the loss of money from the bank.

Turns out, you can't let things slide like that without having a few families have to go home with an uncertain future in terms of their bank accounts. Aw, who am I kidding? They're just here to talk even more slag about Beast Boy to build up some false sympathy in the readers!

Some even whispered bad things.

“Look, it’s the super zero.”

“I bet he enjoyed his little nap.”

“While I have to work two shifts to make up for the money he lost.”

Huh. That actually got my point.

Despite the facts, Beast Boy’s patience wearing out, but he didn’t wish to make any more issues. All he wanted to do was drown some of his sorrows away in milkshakes.

I'll admit. Nothing beats the taste of milkshake. Especially at the Alamo Drafthouse Theater. Good times.

At least the staff didn’t act mean to him, as he was a paying customer, but it wasn’t like they were nice to him either.

Because they didn't kiss the ground you walked upon?

After five milkshakes, Beast Boy asked for another.

“Haven’t you had enough yet?” the old lady asked.

“Just fork it over!” he grumbled as he slammed his money down on counter.

Heeding his demands, she gave him another milkshake.

Normally, they'd throw him out. But, being the only few people who knew he could go Gwangi on their asses, adhered to his demands.

“I can’t take this anymore!” he groaned in thought “If I hear one more person say “Things Change” or “Move on” or even “Let it go.” …I think I’m going to blow!”

On the table next to him, a father of two started to sweat profusely as his beloved baby girls prepared to watch their favorite part of Frozen.

He suddenly felt his bowels gurgling from all those milkshakes, “Actually, I think I’m really going to blow!” and with that he dashed to the little Beast Boy’s room in back of the café.

They have an bathroom stall dedicated to him? Either it's nonsensical worship of Bitch Boy's pimply green ass or they just really don't want him around anymore.

That’s when Terra, looking a bit droopy, came into the café, and sat herself at the bar… right next to Beast Boy’s seat.

Oh, fate. Where is thy sledgehammer to smash my laptop to bits?

“Usual please…” she asked as she paid her money.

“Seems there’s a lot of gloomy faces around here these days.” the old lady said as she served Terra her usual order, Apple Pie Ala mode.

"It's almost as if we live in a world controlled by coincidences and utter nonsense, but that's just me."

As she looked down at it, she was again reminded of Beast Boy, and the good times they had causing the guilt and shame of what she did back at school to eat away at her.

“Why can’t I forget him?!” she groaned softly to herself, “I just want things to be okay, is that so much to ask?”

I know, right?! This is getting asinine! As if it wasn't already.

That’s when Beast Boy returned from the washroom, and was about to sit at his stool again, when he spotted her, and she turned and saw him.

“Oh, not again!” he groaned. He decided to leave and headed straight for the doors, but Terra, though part of her didn’t really want to, she got up and chased after him.

And now, you're just encouraging him. I really hope that White Monster attack didn't give you brain damage.

“Beast Boy…!” she called to him as she jogged up the street.

He stopped where he was and turned and saw her catching up to him. “What do you want?” he asked deeply.

“Look, I really can’t figure this out myself, but… I actually think I need to talk to you again about all this.”

"The Elder Gods dictate that we keep doing this. Or Elder God, in this case."

He shook his head at her, “Why?” he asked “What could you possibly want to talk with me about, Terra?”

“Please, don’t call me that!” she cried.

In all honesty, Terra, if you want him to stop calling you by your alias, I'd recommend calling him Garfield. Or did you just not swap actual names during your "dates"?

“Why shouldn’t I? It’s who you are… or at least who you used to be!”

Selfish prick.

She didn’t like the tone in his voice, “What’s happening to you? You’re not the Beast Boy I remember.”

Like I said. Terra, you're hard to like, but you're even harder to hate in this scenario.

“Ha!” he scoffed at her “I thought you DIDN’T remember me. Oh, wait… you didn’t WANT to remember me. You wanted to forget it all, everything, including the good times we had, and what good times we could have had.”

She stood where she was taking every single one of his words right to her heart. Part of her knew she deserved it, but part of her was growing annoyed. “Look, I know you’re hurting… and I’m sorry. It’s just… well, I…

…I couldn’t take it anymore. I did so many horrible things, and I hurt you many times before. I put the whole city in danger, and it wasn’t the first I did it.”

She reflected on all the dangers she caused when her powers unstable, and her involvement with Slade and everything that lead up to her turning to stone to save the city from destruction.

“…I’m just not cut out for all this stuff anymore. I can’t handle it. Why can’t you understand that I just want to put it all behind me? And I wanted to give us both a better future.”

Beautiful. I guess the author did take the time to listen to the reasons. Let's see how he responded to that. I mean, it can't be that ba-

He remained silent for a moment, and then he finally said “…I do understand. You think I don’t wish the same things?”

Oh, God. Here it comes.

She gawked at him deeply.

“But it doesn’t matter… your attitude… the way you handled it… totally inexcusable.”

What the hell do you mean?! Imagine living a new life free of causing any catastrophic collateral damage and suddenly an old flame from the past shows up and starts following you around and insisting you are Terra (in this case, he's right, though). You'd want to lay him off in whatever way too! And it wasn't even that soul-crushing.

Now she felt shocked, and slightly offended, but when she thought back on it…

The fact that she tried to lie to him about having amnesia, brushing him off, not wanting anything to do with him…

Especially two clashing memories, from when she was about to turn to stone and embracing Beast Boy one last time.

It's called a final goodbye. Just say it out loud. Ever since the Slade Wilson incident, the "Terra" part of you died that day.

“You were the best friend I ever had.”

Right up to that day in the school hall…

“You’re my friend! You’re a Teen Titan.”

“You’re wrong.”

She was talking about that last part, though I guess she could have said that better.

He stopped it there, not having to go on with the other parts.

“You wanted the future to be better for us both?” he mocked “No, Terra… the way I see it you were only thinking about yourself.”

She seemed very offended by what he had just said, and he turned to walk away. “At least I’m not letting one little thing get me down all the time.” she called to him.

He stopped and turned his head to face her, “This isn’t just about us, Terra. It’s about a whole lot more than you know of…” he paused, still not wanting to come clean about what was really bothering him. “Then again, what difference would it make to you?

None. Just LEAVE, already. There's only so much pseudo-melodrama I can take in one day.

I’ve given you your space. I’ve respected your wishes… So, just leave me alone, like you wanted too.”

She remembered how she said that to him…

“Things were never the way you remember. Now just leave me alone!”

She watched him walk down the street. She was speechless, offended, but most of all she was confused. He really had taken her rejecting him a lot worse than she expected, and now he claimed there was more to it than just what they shared.

“If only he could see that moving on isn’t such a bad thing.” she said to herself.

If only, girl. If only, indeed.

Suddenly, she heard a loud crash, followed by a garbage can lid rolling out from an alley, and then followed by the sounds of a fist fight, and Beast Boy shouting “DUDE!!”

He was now venting his rage into creating a garage band, it seems. A very unstable band.

“Beast Boy!” she cried and dashed up the street.

She peered down the alley to see three huge, muscular, street punks badly beating Beast Boy to a pulp. “Dude, what’s your problem!” Beast Boy shouted.

“Nothing personal, kid…”

“We were hired to do this.”

“Yeah, we’re going to beat you until you’re all red!”

Prepare your anus, Garfield.

Then the three punks picked him up and slammed him hard into the wall, much to Terra’s horror, and then she heard the sound of snickering, and she could see Jackie and Jillian watching from on the roof of the very building.

“That’ll teach you to mess with us!” Jackie hollered.

“Yeah, take that, Booger Boy!” added Jillian.

Well, that's new. Still juvenile, but new nonetheless.

“IT’S BEAST BOY!!” he shouted up to them, but then he got punched hard in the face by one of the punks.

Finally taking enough of their abuse, Beast Boy transformed into a T-Rex and roared at the punks, frightening all the tough guy attitude right out of them.

For extra points, turn into a Dilophosaurus! Ever watch When Dinosaurs Ruled America? That roar is utter Hell rolled into some sets of vocal chords.

The punks started to run, but Beast Boy grabbed them, one in each hand, the last one in his huge jaws by the jacket.

The Js saw this and quivered under behind the edge of the building.

Beast Boy strung one of the punks up over a traffic light by a hook of his pants. He stuffed another one into a garbage dumpster, and as for the last punk, he simply placed him down on the street, but then ROARED at him really loud, sending the punk in an airwave hurdling backwards and landing, SPLASH, in a fountain.

Nothing says "Hero of Jump City" like brutalizing a couple of street youths. I know they were assholes, but jeez.

Terra was horrified by what she had seen, but not as horrified as the Js were.

“Did you see that?” cried Jackie.

“He totally wiped the floor with them. I want my money back!” groaned Jillian.

The hell did you expect? Him to turn into a Cane Toad just so you could have an excuse to smack him around?

Seriously. Frag those amphibians.


Just then, they heard a whistling sound above them and looked up. Beast Boy, as a seagull was circling around the two bad girls… and he defecated all over them!



The girls screamed in disgust, and Beast Boy landed on the roof threatening them, “You two mess with me ever again, and I’ll deck ya!!”

Our hero, everyone! He threatens to beat up bullies (becoming one, himself) and shits on them for good measure!

Then he flew off leaving the girls sticky, smelly, outraged, and in disgrace.

Terra saw him fly away, and though she felt her friends somewhat deserved what they got for what they did, she was still very concerned about Beast Boy.

…Not as much as someone else was-- that same hooded stranger whom took the money from Beast Boy had seen everything. “It's time I made my move.” he said to himself.

"To White Castle!"

So, yeah. About the whole thing with Raven and Beast Boy. It's obvious that Mykan, in an effort to show that Terra is Beast Boy's one and only soulmate (somebody please slap me), sunk the ship after much build-up. It's also obvious that his views on romance, cartoon or otherwise, involve that girl having to be chosen by destiny or just a complete moo that is only nice to the guy and nothing else.

Mykan, romance is not just something that's handed over to you on a silver platter. Sometimes, the two are indeed two different personalities that get better overtime due to each-other. The reason people like Beast Boy and Raven is because they're so different and, time and time again, they've proven they actually care for each-other. Terra and Beast Boy, on the other hand, was a...you know what? Just look at the "End of Ends" mock by Lizardman. He's got the reasoning covered.

On the superficial side of things, you really done f'ed up, Garfield! To paraphrase Lizardman, you just missed out on an hourglass figure, mysterious personality, and obvious knowledge of the Karma Sutra. Geez.

Anyway, see you soon.


This post has been edited by MasterOfNintendo: Feb 4 2017, 02:22 PM


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Post #8
MasterOfNintendo


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post Feb 5 2017, 11:47 AM
A ship sinking later, we're at the 5th chapter. I'm beginning to see why no mocker here wants to deal with Mykan's work anymore.

Pink= Me


White= Literary Excrement

Chapter 5: Broken Heart-Box

I don't even have a funny comment for that. It's that emo.

Thanks to his animal shapeshifting, his minor injuries healed quickly. He was feeling rather content for telling Terra off, and for getting back at her nasty friends for tormenting him, but when Beast Boy got back to the tower… a terrible sight met his eyes.

Hyper Zetton plunging his interstellar dick into Raven's-oh, wait. That happened just a few minutes ago. Also, nice to see you take pride in those things. I totally don't want to see said alien fry you to a crisp.

The others were in Terra’s room and taking the place all apart-- moving out the furniture, the luxuries, everything. “Dude… what are you guys doing?” he snapped.

Aversion therapy, it seems. Then again, I probably only know the base meaning of that.

“What does it look like?” Raven grouched at him as she passed by with a box of stuff. She was still very hurt from rejection.

“You can’t dismantle Terra’s room!”

"Though, it would be great if you could clean the white stuff near the statue. I've...been meaning to do that."

“Look, she’s not comin’ back anytime soon.” said Cyborg “So there’s no point in keepin’ a room like this if no one’s gonna use it.”

“We plan to change into the room of the studying.” added Starfire.

A home office! That was all Beast Boy really didn’t need or want.

Yeah, try calling it that the next time Dr. Destiny shows up and starts screwing around with your lives as you have no idea how he even works.

“Beast Boy, this is the only to help you start to get better.” said Robin “We’re getting rid of everything that Terra ever owned, or is anything to do with her.”

Raven came back with a box of things that used to belong to Terra, which Beast Boy recognized all from his room. “Hey! You cleaned out my room?!”

The horrors she must have witnessed...no wonder she's even more bitter.

Raven said nothing and went back to go get more.

“Beast Boy…” Starfire said “We feel it is the time you got with the… program… I think.”

Starfire, you're cute, but lose the "totally radical" approach.

“It’s time for you to grow up, Beast Boy.” Robin said.

What a calm way to break this down to him. No shouting, no scolding, just the facts and trying to be upfront as possible. Clearly, this is wrong!

Beast Boy flinched in pain.

Turns out, the place was also infested with Huntsman Spiders.

“You need to let go of the past!”

He flinched again.

“And realize that no matter how much you want things to be the way they were, in life… Things--” he stopped when Beast Boy covered his mouth with his hand. “Don’t!” he said very deeply, almost in a threatening manner “Don’t you say those words to me! If you do… so help me…!”

WHAPP!! In a fit of outrage from being threatened, Robin punched him hard, knocking him back into the coffee table, flinging it like a spring a launching the heart-shaped mirror box way up into the air.

Okay. Now, we're back to being stupid again. THAT was deserving of a punch? Next thing you know, they'll try to stick a large spit through his ass.

Then again, he just got punched. Go forth, Boy Wonder!


Beast Boy and the others could only watch in horror as the beautiful box hit the floor, shattering the mirror glass and breaking the lid off its hinges, and the bottom fell off too, breaking into four bits.

Everyone fell totally silent, even Robin. He didn’t want anything broken, just removed, and he also felt very remorseful for punching Beast Boy like that.

Okay. He feels sorry for it. Good call. I mean, I like seeing the little stalking green asshat get punched back into reality, but it's not nice to turn Robin into a total loose cannon.

Beast Boy fell to his knees and felt through he pieces of the most beautiful thing he had ever made for the most beautiful girl he ever loved.

Blech. It's not like it belonged to your mother.

I love my mom.


“Beast Boy… I…” Robin said trying to find his words, but Beast Boy angrily got up, glaring at him and said “That’s the last straw, Robin.”

“What do you mean, Last Straw?” Cyborg asked.

“You are not even holding a drink.” added Starfire.

I would start drinking right now, but my hatred of alcohol keeps me from doing so.

Raven came into the room, and saw the mess and how upset Beast Boy looked “Okay, what did I miss?”

"Friend, why is there a yellow substance on your face?"

"Uh...no reason."

In his outrage, Beast Boy held out his communicator, and threw it hard to the ground, smashing it to bits. “It was good while it lasted, Titans. Now I know for sure… GET BENT!!” and he changed into a pterodactyl, crashed through the large windows, shattering the glass and flew off into the night.

Before falling to the cold ocean below due to the glass tearing the membrane in his wings, ending the sad tale of Bitch Boy.

If only.


“BEAST BOY…!!” Starfire called out to him, but he was already out of sight.

“Let him go.” Robin said “If he can’t face the truth, fine!”

“I second that.” Raven said and she went off in a huff.

Cyborg swept up the damaged communicator intending to repair it. “Cyborg, are you not the least bit concerned?” cried Starfire. “Eh, he’ll be back when he cools off.” replied Cyborg “At least I hope he will.”

Even at his worst, Beast Boy has Cyborg to keep friendship stable. Seriously, Victor. You're wasting your time, but it's nice to see you wear your heart on your sleeve. You too, Starfire.

He was actually more concerned for Beast Boy than ever, having never seen him this angry, and now that he was out there, who knew what he was capable of doing in his condition? “Dang it, BB..!”

Beast Boy had retreated to the beach, where he knew of a small cave at the end where he could crash, but he honestly never felt such heartbreak in his life; unloved, unappreciated, and now practically unwanted by even his teammates; or rather his former team.

You did that yourself when you started acting like an antisocial twit. Also, the room needed to go. It was gathering dust.

A very sad and miserable song seemed to play along the air, and someone was singing about exactly how he felt.

(Skip to 0:37)

Dammit all. It's another one of those insipid "Magic Voices" videos. For proof we deserve to live as a species, I won't upload it here. It's based off a song titled Sailing No More from Toy Story. Mykan, don't associate your trite with that film, okay?

Then again, it would be nice to see Bitch Boy recreate that "Mrs. Nesbitt" scene.


In one last desperate attempt he tried to think of a future for himself, one where he could rise up and be a better success and really make a difference somewhere.

…Alas, he could think of nothing, and merely sat a rock in the cold cave. His head hung low and he sighed miserably as the song ended.

Good luck with the mother bear in the cave. Hibernation is coming up and she's getting hungry.

As she stretched out to try and get comfortable, he felt something soft next to him, not like a rock but a big burlap sack.

He saw that it was no ordinary sack, but the same sack of money he failed to return to the bank that morning, and judging by how bulgy it was, all the money was still inside it, but there was more…

A Dr. Phil manual, which he threw against the wall in a desperate attempt to stay edgy.

It wasn’t so dark in the cave that he couldn’t see more bags and crates, of jewelry, antiques, even weapons stolen from the history museum.

Oh, GOD! It's the Sword of Hatred all over again! Oh, wait. Nevermind.

“Dude!” he exclaimed softly. He was rather excited about finding all this, but more concerned. “How did all this get here?”

“…It got here because I brought it here,” said a voice.

Beast Boy turned round and saw a shadowy figure dressed in a black cloak and a hood standing at the cave entrance. “I was wondering how to get you to come, and much to my surprise… you came by yourself.”

"You really suck, is what I'm saying. At least I have a living."

“Who are you?” Beast Boy asked sharply.

The stranger stepped forth, and removed his hood revealing his face, and much to Beast Boy’s astonishment. “Dude… you… you look just like me!” and he did, the green skin, the green hair, pointy ears, fangs, even the same doom patrol outfit.

“Astonishing, isn’t It?” remarked the stranger, “But unlike you, I cannot turn into animals, and I have no need to, thanks to this…” he reached down under his collar and pulled out on a silver strand of beads a golden shiny stone, about the size of a golf ball, with a very unusual marking of a unicorn embedded into it.

So, the discount Alicorn Amulet. I'm going to assume it was less expensive than the real thing.

Beast Boy gawked at the amulet in awe, but then he quickly snapped to his senses. “Wait a minute! You took the money from me and all this stuff too?”

The creature sighed “Yes, I believe we’ve already established that, but that’s beside the point and not really any of your concern… not where you’ll be going anyway.”

“What are you talking about?” asked Beast Boy.

The creature was growing irritable. “I swear, these humans are more lacking of intelligence than I thought.” He grumbled, and then he put it plain and simple “You and I strongly resemble one another. Anyone who is anyone would easily mistake one of us for the other! We… are going… TO SWITCH…OUT!!”

"You're going...TO NEW JERSEY!"

"YOU MONSTER!"

His voice echoed along the cave.

Before Beast Boy could protest or even say anything, the amulet began to glow along with the strangers eyes in a hypnotic way. “Hey!” cried Beast Boy “What are… you… do… ing… naaaaa….” and he fell out cold.

Changeling approached Beast Boy and looked down pitifully at him. “Try to understand, I have no personal feelings against you… but… sometimes you must do what you must do.”

Like the idiotic decision to dedicate your life to making more stories like this.

He folded his hands and concentrated hard. His amulet glowed brightly, and Beast Boy’s body was enveloped in light as he recited a spell…

“From day to night, and night to day,

I send you now on your way.

Go forth to the place where the magic lives and how,

I send you to Equestria… NOW!!”



In a bright flash, Beast Boy changed into a glowing yellow light that soared like a speeding comet far, far away across the country, straight into a faraway town… to a high-school called Canterlot High, where broken statue lay situated in the front yard.

Wait, does Jump City live in the same Universe as Equestria Girls?! What kind of world-building is this?!

The light passed right through the statue’s base and was gone.

Changeling snickered wickedly and said to himself. “That poor creature... He’s in for a big surprise when he awakens.”

Forget that piece of tepid dialogue. We've got another author's note.

Author's Note:

and now... the real fun begins. Heh-Heh-Heh!


You're enjoying this, aren't you? At least we've finally got to the premise of this fanfic.

See you soon.



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MasterOfNintendo


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post Feb 5 2017, 10:41 PM
At last, the dumbass little elf that dares call himself Beast Boy has arrived in Equestria through some extremely convoluted means (Is Equestria Girls now a DC franchise?! What?!). Can't wait to see how he screws this one up.

Pink= Myself


White= Unintelligible Gargling

Chapter 6: A Screaming Shock (Welcome to Equestria)

Aw, for pete's sake, pick a title!

It wasn’t long after Beast Boy had fled the tower, did the Titans start to receive emergency calls from all over town.

Well, it WAS Black Friday.

Apparently, several locations-- a jewelry store, an antique pawn shop, even the natural history museum-- all had been robbed by a mysterious, yet unexplainable phenomenon.

All the security cameras and night guards swore positively that no one had come near the places, nor were any alarms tripped, yet all the merchandise and items that were stolen… just vanished into thin air.

I'm pretty sure, somewhere in the Titan's careers, there was a criminal who operated this way. If anyone knows, feel free to comment.

The Titans viewed the information sent to them by the places, and were just as baffled. They were viewing the footage of the jewelry store robbery.

“Okay, watch again…” said Robin, and he played the footage back in super slow-motion, which showed all the necklaces, rings and everything else neatly in their display cases. “First you see them… and now, you don’t.”

“They have gone… the poof.” added Starfire.

Easily fixa-You know what? I stopped caring a few chapters ago.

Cyborg examined the other two tapes of footage from the Pawn Shop and the Museum on the other monitors; it was the same thing. The artifacts and valuables… just vanished.

“I think it’s magic.” Raven suggested “I mean there’s nothing else that can explain it.”

Magic: The best explanation. In all honesty, though, we ARE in a comic-book inspired cartoon.

“Maybe…” said Robin “But magic or not, that doesn’t explain who’s doing this and why. We’re going to patrol the entire city.”

“But, what of Beast Boy…?” Starfire asked. The others fell silent, still feeling a bit of regret about what happened. “We can’t worry about him now.” Cyborg said “But maybe while we’re out he’ll show up anyway.”

So, basically "Frag him." Works for me.

The others didn’t seem too positive on such an idea. Even if they were to find him, the odds were he wouldn’t be too willing to even talk to them.

Then again, were they even willing to talk to him?

A good question. In the state he's in, I'll be surprised if they can get a word out.

Late that night in Equestria, Twilight and Spike were fast asleep, when a small ray of light shot out through the mirror gateway in the library, and hurdled out across Ponyville and landed in the fields.

Nobody noticed a single thing, as practically every pony was sound asleep.

Hopefully, Beast Boy probably burned up in the atmosphere.

Beast Boy finally began to awaken and gazed up at the light of the mid-morning. “I must’ve slept through the night.”

He groggily tried to stand up on his two feet, but found he couldn’t keep his balance and he flopped down on the grass, almost as if his bones didn’t want to work that way.

Turns out, a diet of milkshakes and a high velocity impact against the ground does not make a healthy body.

The grass was also a strange sight to him, as well as the entire meadow landscape around him. “Wasn’t I in the beach cave?” he wondered softly as he rubbed the side of his face, “Last thing I remember… that guy who looked like me… he…” He paused when he noted the strange feeling of his hand against his face. It didn’t feel like a hand or fingers, but something flat and solid.

It was a clipboard that stated, in bold letters, "GET A LIFE".

That’s when he realized his arms were now hooves. “Oh!”

He felt along his face, and felt his pointy ears now sticking right up top of his head. “Huh?”

Then it got scary as he felt something long and hard sticking out of his head, like a horn. “What the-- What’s going on…?”

"I've been reduced to a shitty OC reclor!"

A small pond of water was right near him. He gazed down at his reflection, and he was shocked!! “Dude…!” he cried. He had taken the form of a green unicorn, almost like an alternate version of himself, and even more astonishingly… he could still speak normally like a human!

At first he thought he was going crazy and splashed water from the pond on his face. “Dude…! I’m not dreaming!” he cried, and that maybe he transformed while he was knocked out cold, but he soon discovered not only could he not change back into his normal form, he couldn’t seem to change into any other animal either… but his horn glowed, and he found himself surrounded by a sparkling aura that lifted off the ground like a balloon.

“Hey! Whoa… whoa…!!”

Up, up, and away...into the stratosphere, sparring us of this story.

Suddenly, the magic stopped, and he landed with a splash in the shallow pond.

“Ugh’ll!” he groaned as he walked out on all fours, and shook himself dry. “Dude, maybe I’m dead!” he thought aloud, but then he realized how silly and least likely that was. People didn’t turn into unicorns and experience such magical things when they went…

…at least he didn’t think so.

There's this one fanfic where Rorschach (from Watchmen) is sent here (as a human, no less) due to being killed by Dr. Manhatten as a ploy to get him to think positive. It's much better well-written then this.

Suddenly, something soared overhead. He looked up and saw another creature like him; a pony… only instead of a horn it had wings; like a Pegasus.

You mean like Pegasus himself? I'm pretty sure that, conventionally in your world, there's no species of that in Greek mythology. MLP just made the species come to light.

“Unicorns… now Pegasus?” he asked no one in particular as he was all by himself. Since standing around wouldn’t do, he realized he would have to explore and hopefully find someone who could explain.

I smell shenanigans!

Unable to animal-morph into anything that could fly, and not wanting to try that levitation magic and fall down hard again, he was forced to walk

WALKING! Oh, what a terrible fate to befall one's self!

Meanwhile, Spike had woken up and he stretched out and yawned. As he walked down the hallways of the castle, he saw Twilight in the library. She was examining the mirror gate. “Twilight, what’s up?” he asked.

“I don’t know how, but this gateway was activated last night while we were sleeping. I can tell because it’s warm, and the systems register positive.”

They still keep that thing? Not sure why, but whatever.

Now Spike was concerned too. Nobody would use their portal without a strong burst of magic to open it, and only Twilight and a select few, her friends from the human world, possessed such powers.

“I know it wasn’t Sunset Shimmer or any of the others.” said Twilight “They wrote to me last week, and said they were all on a month long school field-trip to a place called Paris.”

Pretty surprising a school that got ravaged by several monsters in it's time is able to afford such a trip.

“Okay, but… then who used the portal?”

“I don’t know.” replied Twilight “I’m not even sure if whether the portal was even used to exit or enter Equestria. Spike, we’ve got a big mystery here.”

Spike agreed.

Beast Boy continued to wander along the meadow, and he finally came across a town, and what he saw ahead astonished him again. Everywhere he looked he saw not a single human being, but ponies, ponies and more ponies! There were ponies of different colors, shapes, and sizes. There were unicorns, Pegasus, and even just plain ordinary ponies with no horns or wings.

In short, Mykan's worst nightmare.

Even more interestingly, each and every pony seemed to have a kind of picture tattooed onto their flanks, while sadly his flank was blank.

Even the Universe thinks you're a loser, so they didn't even bother giving him a cutie mark per the usual. Or is this supposed to make him ever so "spe-shul"?

All the ponies were acting like humans, going about daily routines, some even have jobs and kids were walking to school. “Maybe someone there can help me.”

He galloped down to the town, but the second he stepped in and called out “Hello… Excuse me!” every single pony stopped and gawked at him as if they had seen a ghost. Some we’re even scared and tembled.

They knew what story they were in and they were reaching for the pitchforks and torches already.

Now Beast Boy felt very embarrassed as well as confused “What’s the matter?” he asked, but no one dared speak to him and just kept on staring at him. “Look, what is all this. I just want to know where I am.” Then, not watching where he was going, he bumped into a yellow mare Earth Pony, with an orange mane and carrying a basket of flowers in her teeth, and eating a saddle bag, much like a purse.

“Oh, sorry.” He said politely, but the mare then just handed him her saddle bag whimpering, “Take anything you want, just please don’t hurt me.”

That had better NOT be Applejack. Otherwise, it's going to become very clear how Mykan wants to treat these characters. If Applejack found some possible criminal, then SOME possible criminal would suddenly have his/her neck twisted 180 degrees to the left and then some.

“What?” snapped Beast Boy, and he politely gave the bag back without taking anything much to the mare’s and everyone else’s confusion.

“He gave it back?”

“He doesn’t do that.”

Already feeling uncomfortable, Beast Boy just walked off confusing all the ponies even more.

“Geez… what’s with them?” Beast boy wondered, but strangely everywhere he went, every pony he ran into acted just the same… or worse.

Some were starting to comment on how he had a nice ass. Heads up, Beast Boy. This might become like one of those "Sex-questria" fics. They can either end really well or VERY bad.

They stopped and gawked at him. They would scream and run crying “Help!” and a few more ponies tried to give him their saddle bags or their money pouches, only for him to kindly reject and hand them back without taking a thing.

“What are they all acting like; I’m some kind of monster?”

Beast Boy was so lost in his thoughts, that he nearly got pushed over by a soaring Pegasus that came zooming by in a rainbow flash. “Whoa!” she groaned “Watch where you’re going, chump!” she grouched at him.

Aw, Mykan-inized Rainbow Dash. A jerk one moment and a jock the other.

“Hey, I’m just walking!” Beast Boy protested “Maybe you should slow down.”

The pony looked like she was going to blow up. “Okay! No one tells Rainbow Dash to slow down. Not like that…” she looked ready for a serious argument, when she noticed “Hey, you look familiar.”

She then looked at him really hard from head to hoof while flying in slow circles around him making him dizzy. “Eh, I don’t have time for this anyway. I have someplace to be. Later, chump.” then she just flew off, leaving Beast Boy dizzy, confused, and annoyed that he probably made an enemy, but even more so, that was the first pony to not run from him and he could have asked about where he was.

Count your blessings, indeed. You would have been reduced to pulp if she got the wrong idea.

His stomach growled, and he realized after all he had been doing he hadn’t eaten breakfast.

Fortunately, there were lots of food stands, bakeshops and café’ all over, but unfortunately for him he had no money, and even if he had he was shunned, denied and unwelcomed by the proprietors.

He almost lost the will to live when the milkshake vendor shunned him.

“You stay out of here!”

“I don’t do deals with the likes of you!”

"Unless you've got photos of what Cloudchaser and Flitter do in their house. It's hot!"

Doors slammed, windows shut, and ponies shook their heads. Other evens picked up their wagons and galloped away very fast.

Now his head ached as well as his stomach, but he pressed on hoping to find some help and maybe some answers.

He found his way to a tower-like shop called “Carousel Boutique.”

Oh, this outta be rich. Hope Dashguy isn't reading this.

“Maybe someone here can help me. Oh, who am I kidding?” still, he knew he had to try or he’d starve.

Inside the store, many ponies, mostly mares were admiring the displays of clothes and ensembles all over, when suddenly one of the ponies took one look at him, and you guessed it, she screamed, causing all the other customers to turn, scream and all run out of the store in such a panic.

To be fair, Ponyville isn't exactly known for being stable when something panic-worthy comes around. Hopefully, I'm just thinking Season 1 knowledge. I mean, the Changelings haven't reformed in this story (I think) and nopony went into fragging hysterics when one Changeling walked into Cranky Doodle's wedding (albeit, they were a bit freaked out).

The store was completely deserted, except for one pony-- one very beautiful unicorn pony, hinted light grey with a beautiful purple mane and tail. The owner of the shop-- whom came down the stairs from the upper floor when she head the screaming, “Whatever is going on here?” she asked.

"Sweetie Belle, did you cook for the customers again?"

Beast Boy thought she looked very beautiful and sounded so melodic, and then he saw her accidently misstep, and she would have tumbled down the last few stairs had he not rushed over to catch her.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

The pony, breathed heavily, almost overdramatically, in attempt to catch her breathe. “Oh, my… how can I thank you?” she said, but when she took one look up at him, and… she SCREAMED and extremely loud screech!



As if that weren't an insult to her character (seriously, she can FRAG YOU UP with one hit of the hoof), there's a video of a past moment when she let out one such scream. Because Mykan wants these ponies to stay in the past like himself.

Her screech was so ear-piercing, that Beast Boy fled the store like lightning, stopping in front of a lamppost to catch his breathe. “DUDE!!” he groaned “What the heck is going on here?!”

Crap all, that's what.

Suddenly, he looked up and saw a Wanted Poster on the lamppost, with a picture of a pony that resembled him in every single detail, and he read the list of charges…

-Thievery

-Assault

-Breaking and Entering

-Malicious Mischief

-Vandalism

-Possible Murder.

I'm pretty sure "Malicious Mischief" is a less-mature way of saying "Disorderly Conduct", but what do I know?

Seriously, either I'm being impatient or I'm gonna be pissed off, but, speaking of disorderly, WHERE THE FRAG IS DISCORD DURING ALL THIS MADNESS?!


The more Beast Boy read it, the more livid he became, especially the last line which read:“He is known to be extremely dangerous and is ordered to be reported to the authorities on first sight.”

"Then again. At least 'Stalking' isn't on the list of chargers. Now, I can really clear my name!"

It all made sense to him now, or at least half of it, and yet when he slowly turned round, he saw that he was completely surrounded by a group of angry looking citizens and a lot ponies dressed in police uniforms.

“Uh-Oh…!”

How will Beast Emo get out of this one? Tune in next time on "Dumbass Elf on a Faulty Shelf"!

See you soon.


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Dashguy


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post Feb 6 2017, 04:00 AM
I'm a bit late here, but I wanted to comment on two things:

QUOTE
Then the three punks picked him up and slammed him hard into the wall, much to Terra’s horror, and then she heard the sound of snickering, and she could see Jackie and Jillian watching from on the roof of the very building.

“That’ll teach you to mess with us!” Jackie hollered.

“Yeah, take that, Booger Boy!” added Jillian.

In Mykan's mind, those two girls are the biggest villains in the whole damn show. Trigon? Slade? Brother Blood? Nah, those two girls who told Beast Boy to take a hike are the greatest evils the titans did not yet get to face.

QUOTE
Suddenly, he looked up and saw a Wanted Poster on the lamppost, with a picture of a pony that resembled him in every single detail, and he read the list of charges…

-Thievery

-Assault

-Breaking and Entering

-Malicious Mischief

-Vandalism

-Possible Murder.

The hell? I know ponies can be scaredy little things, but this is ridiculous. Even Troubleshoes Clyde, with all of his bad luck, did not rack up this much shit. Anyway, I can already see where this is going. The ponies are going to cause a lot of trouble to Beast Boy, then realize he's not bad and try to apologize, only for BB to blow them off because he can't fucking let go of even the smallest slights.
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MasterOfNintendo


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post Feb 6 2017, 11:03 AM
As we go down the "Misunderstood human-turned-pony" cliche, let's see how much further Equestria can embaress itself by associating with this fanfic due to force.

Also, Dashguy, I concur. It's hilarious to think that, even if Darksied, the Black Lantern Core, or even Harvest (who knows who HE is?) were to invade Jump City and raze it to the very core of the Earth, Jackie and Jillian would still be on Mykan's list of greatest villains in DC history. For all his talk of wanting serious villains that rack up body counts and can't be redeemed, he sure falls flat.

As for that last comment (the Troubleshoes analogy does come to mind), we'll just have to see.

Pink= Myself


White= A testament to why people go to writing classes

Chapter 7: Questioning Queerness



Uh...could have picked a better title? I guess?

Before Beast Boy knew it, he was sitting in a dark room with a large light shining on him as two burly pony officers interrogated him, but only one of them actually did all the talking.

“Well, well… fancy finally catching you, Changeling.” he said sarcastically. “Not so tough now without your fancy amulet and powers.”

Garfield, if this pony is anything like Jack Bauer, then you're SOL.

“Dude, I’m not Changeling. You got the wrong guy.” cried Beast Boy.

“That’s what they all say…” said the officer “But you’re going to start saying that you wish you were never born when we get through with you, especially if you don’t tell us where you hid that amulet you stole!”

I can't help but find parallels to the possible future of the Trump presidency, in which anyone even suspected of trouble is going to get the worst amount of torture possible.

#Soontobeoutdatedpost


It was vain that Beast Boy tried to convince him that he wasn’t they guy he thought he was, and that he never had the amulet. “I’m telling you the truth. I don’t know how I even got here, or where even here is.”

The officer and his partner only laughed at him. “Okay then… this is the world of Equestria, a world inhabited by ponies like us.”

“Equestria…?” Beast Boy asked.

"No, Tanzania-WE LIVE IN A WORLD OF CARTOON HORSES, FOR HASBRO'S SAKE!"

“That’s right…” mocked the officer “And in Equestria we have jails… and it’s where we put scum like you for all the things you’ve done.”

Dropping the soap must be a common thing without any hands here. As I've said before, prepare your anus, Beast Emo.

Beast Boy gulped, but made one last attempt to try and convince him, “My name isn’t Changeling. It’s Beast Boy, and just hours ago I was located in Jump City, California on Earth.”

The officer sniggered and said “Okay, maybe some time in the slammer will give you some time to think about confessing.”

Knowing how Mykan wants to interpret Equestria, I bet the Spanish Inquisition will be called to make him confess.

Nobody expects them anyway.


Before Beast Boy knew it he was tossed into a simple jail cell. “See you in about a-hundred years.” The officer mocked and just left him there.

Beast Boy wanted to protest, but he knew there was no point. Now, feeling ultimately alone powerless, and afraid, he slumped onto the bench in his cell… and he almost actually felt like crying.

At least it's not about Terra this time.

Suddenly, he remembered, “That dude… he’s still back in Jump City!”

He didn’t want to begin to think of the trouble that creep was up to.

Indeed, Changeling was up to many more dirty tricks. He also still wore his cloak and hood so people would still not recognize him, as he resembled Beast Boy too well.

He strolled down a district lined with many parking-meters. He walked right up to each meter, with an arm full of empty sacks. Then, a simple touch of his finger and all the coins inside the machine seem to fill up in his sacks until they were so full they were hard to carry. So he teleported the sacks back to his cave where no one would find them.

"I could basically assassinate the world leaders and send the world into chaos, in which I'd take over with a bit of help, but nope! I'm a dime-a-dozen burglar with a magic handicap!"

“I love easy money.” he snickered “This is almost too easy for me. I could go for a little amusement.”

He walked round a corner and saw a familiar girl--Terra-- sitting alone at café patio. “That’s the girl whom Beast Boy had difficulties with.” he remembered.

"And, by Celestia's overly long hair, he was a real bitch about it. I'd...probably want to stay clear, in all honesty."

Suddenly, he was rudely shoved out of the way by two more girls-- Jackie and Jillian-- “Move it, bucko!” Jackie snarled as she and Jillian walked past him. Jillian then shoved him, knocking his hood off. He had not noticed this as he felt quite enraged. Having kept an eye on Beast Boy, he recognized those two troublemakers, and decided he’d maybe have a little fun with them.

Of course they become victims of some Beast Boy-related buffoonery. It was engaging only the first 1000 times, but hey, who's counting?

Using his powers, the girls suddenly froze up. “Hey!” cried Jackie. “I can’t move!” added Jillian.

Terra heard their cries and saw them being harassed by the cloaked stranger, and she began to dash straight for them.

“Brat Boy?!” snapped Jillian.

“Beast Boy!” cried Terra

That’s when he finally noticed his hood was off. “Oh, no!” and he quickly replaced it, but the girls had already seen him.

Still, not felling much harm could be done, he merely levitated the two bad girls up, up, up, much to their and Terra’s surprise.

"Nyah! They're such BAAD girls! Kinda like the ones that wouldn't go to the prom with me! I'll show them!"

He then levitated the girls over a dump truck full of manure parked on the side of the street, and then he just let them fall in.

MOOOOORE crap jokes! Just what we need! What's next? Having dung beetles eat them alive?

Probably not. Mykan's not that clever.


The Js screamed in disgust, and Terra was rather livid with him and glared at him, while he glared at her and threatened, “Unless you wish to share the same punishment, get out of my way!”

He sounded so fierce, so nasty. Terra felt frightened and just let him walk past her.

“Well, that was boring.” Changeling muttered to himself as he walked off. “I think I need to turn things up a bit.”

"Off to impersonate David Copperfield. A chain of islands and a hot wife, here I come!"

He walked out of sight and was gone.

Suddenly, Terra realized as she said to herself, “Wait a minute. Beast Boy can’t levitate things.” But there was no denying what she had just seen.

The Js crawled out of the truck in a mucky mess, and they smelled just awful. They angrily marched over to where Terra was standing, wanting to get back at Beast Boy, only to find he had already gone.

“He… is so… DEAD…!!” shouted Jackie. “Yeah, bloody murder!” added Jillian.

Great. You just turned them into psychos hungry for blood. Just turn them into psychotic warlords, already. We know it'll come, one of these days.

Terra was snapped out of her trance by their attitude and she scorned them, “If you ask me, you two got exactly what you deserved!”

Oh, boy. Here we go. More soap-boxing.

The Js were shocked at what she just said. “He just threw us into a pile of… that stuff.” Jackie whined.

“And you hired those punks to beat on him. I was there the other night, I saw what happened, and I know you two had something to do with it.”

The Js now felt a little awkward. “Well, we only did it for you.” Jillian said “You’ve spent a lot of time thinking about that Bozo Boy.”

"And trust us. It ain't pretty. You woke the whole neighborhood when you starting screaming about some 'Rebel Girl' bullshit. I'm serious! One of our neighbors has a gun!"

“His name is BEAST BOY!!” she yelled “And you had no right to do what you did to him.”

The Js began to realize the roots between Terra and Beast Boy. “Don’t tell me you actually like that guy?” Jackie asked.

What the many people who read this crap have been saying for years. And a whole bunch of them have probably moved on by now!

Terra did all she could try not to blush or give anything away. “No! I… I don’t.” she said “I hardly even know him.” she lied about that. “I told him to stay away from me, and I can’t help that he shows up wherever I go.”

The Js folded their arms at her, and gave her a look of disbelief. “Whatever.” They both said, and they walked off to go and get cleaned up.

Now, Terra was on her own again, which she didn’t like being. She felt very frustrated, but deeply confused and concerned to what she had witnessed.

“Since when did Beast Boy get such powers?” she wondered, but he was already gone so she couldn’t try to even question him. Then again, that probably wasn’t a good idea anyway.

Even with regular Beast Boy, that be the feat of the day.

“I gave you your space… now give me mine!”

She remembered his words too well, and the attitude he gave her the other night. She hadn’t stopped thinking about it since, and it interfered with her studies and her daily routines.

“You were only thinking about yourself, Terra.”

That part hurt her the most, and no matter how hard she tried to deny it, she couldn’t fight off what was said to her. It kept on echoing in her mind no matter what she did or where she went.

Not. Healthy. NOT. HEALTHY. How many times do I have to repeat that?! This would be a better horror movie script. Then again, that's being generous.

The biggest and most desperate of all that concerned her was that fact that Beast Boy had mentioned that just because she had dumped him was not the only reason he was so miserable.

So, what was it that was really bothering him? Did she really want to know? It would mean having to speak with him face-to-face again.

Back in Equestria, the Mane six were all gathered at Rainbow Castle.

I should have mentioned a while ago, but it's called the Castle of Friendship. Did you just base that off a random toy you set fire to in order to vent your rage?

“So, what’s the story, Twilight?” asked Applejack.

“Are we going on some super special friendship mission?” added Fluttershy. Rainbow held her hoofs up in hope going, “Please be Wonderbolt Academy! Please be Wonderbolt Academy!”

To reinstate Dashguy's point, THEY. ARE NOT. CARE BEARS! Also, you're a Wonderbolt already, Dash! I know you like your job and all, but c'mon!

Hopefully, we won't have to deal with that mystical IKEA table, though. Seriously. The author of The Rise of Darth Vulcan made some pretty good points about smashing that thing in half. But that's another story.


“Actually, it’s a lot more serious than that.” Twilight said, and she showed her friends a letter she had received earlier, which told her that the wicked thief, Changeling, had finally been captured and was now in the Ponyville police-jail.

Police-jail. That's the level of maturity we're dealing with here. Strap in, if you haven't already.

“Ahem…” Rarity said “I may like to point out that it was I who filed the report and alerted the authorities… after that scoundrel had the nerve to step into my boutique!”

“Ah, rats!” groaned Pinkie “I wanted to be the one to catch him.”

The others didn’t think too much of her greed.

"SHE'S A BAD PONY! A REALLY REALLY BAD PONY! DID YOU GET THAT?!"

“So, what’s up with you?” applejack asked Twilight, and Twilight stammered a bit and tried to put as delicately as she could, but Spike decided to spill it for her. “They’re going to put him on trial in a few days, and they’ve asked Twilight to be on the lead member of the jury, and she’s very nervous about it.”

Nervous? Twilight's the definition of Lawful Good. I mean, I guess it's a bit to take in possibly condemning a pony to prison, but geez.

Also, more shades of Keep Living For Friendship. In which the men take charge. Hopefully, though, it won't be as prevalent and that was just a weak attempt at a joke.


She glared at him sternly, but then sighed, “He’s right. I’ve never been on a jury before. I’m not sure I can go through with this.”

The others concurred with her feelings.

“Wow… that is big.” said Rainbow “But, it shouldn’t be too bad. I mean, he’s a low-down, crazed pony who stole from so many. I say lock him up and throw away the key.”

Surprised Mykan didn't have her vote for capital punishment. Namely, the electric chair.

“I couldn’t agree more with you, Rainbow Dash.” said Rarity. “It’s high time that justice was served to that barbarian!”

Not you, too. Guh.

Fluttershy walked up to Twilight and comforted her “I’m sure it’ll be okay. Think of it just like giving your royal public speeches; you know in front of so many ponies… having to make a very important decision… maybe… even.” She suddenly felt her own nerves going, and her knees began to quake.

Twilight sighed again. “Maybe you’re all right. He has done so many awful things.”

You know, for an author that thinks these ponies are too soft and he made this story to break them, he sure is making them favorable in his eyes. It's still bad writing, but I digress.

“Buck up, girl.” said Applejack “If you need us there for moral support, you got it.”

The others all nodded in agreement, promising to be there, the day of the trial. Twilight felt ever so flattered. “Thanks, you guys. You’re really the best friends a pony could have.”

Well, at least that's consistent. Who's willing to bet, though, that the whole thing is going to be a kangaroo court just to make Equestria look bad?

See you soon.


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Dashguy


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post Feb 6 2017, 01:00 PM
QUOTE
“Well, well… fancy finally catching you, Changeling.” he said sarcastically. “Not so tough now without your fancy amulet and powers.”

Ah, so that's how it is. The Changeling did a bunch of bad shit disguised as Beast Boy so he would take the fall. I think that just adds even more questions.

QUOTE
The author of The Rise of Darth Vulcan made some pretty good points about smashing that thing in half.

The same guy who made up a bunch of shit, like the Elements of Harmony causing pain to the receiver, for his self-insert to criticize the ponies? Who tortured Diamond Tiara, then acted surprised and ashamed at his readers that they liked that, despite the fact the narrative always has the back of his self-insert on everything he does and DT was, at that point, one of the most hated characters in the show? Who wrote sequels to Past Sins in which Nyx is an even bigger freaking Mary Sue? That guy?

Anyway, I'm curious as to where this is going. Keep up the good job.
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MasterOfNintendo


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post Feb 6 2017, 01:11 PM
QUOTE (Dashguy @ Feb 6 2017, 01:00 PM) *
Ah, so that's how it is. The Changeling did a bunch of bad shit disguised as Beast Boy so he would take the fall. I think that just adds even more questions.


The same guy who made up a bunch of shit, like the Elements of Harmony causing pain to the receiver, for his self-insert to criticize the ponies? Who tortured Diamond Tiara, then acted surprised and ashamed at his readers that they liked that, despite the fact the narrative always has the back of his self-insert on everything he does and DT was, at that point, one of the most hated characters in the show? Who wrote sequels to Past Sins in which Nyx is an even bigger freaking Mary Sue? That guy?

Anyway, I'm curious as to where this is going. Keep up the good job.


First of all, I won't be surprised if that becomes a prevalent plot-point.

Secondly, I'm not going to lie. Darth Vulcan's story was controversial and there were a few...questionable elements, but some of his blog-posts did point out a few good points (the squalor the Griffon Kingdom is in is highly suspect). Also, he's a villain. A villain who, as the fanfic goes on, has to work for his victories (and there's a good chance he's going to fall HARD in the end). It doesn't help he can be a bit amusing, like a few of his subordinates (one of them inadvertently invents waterdance when running away from the aptly named Nope-Spiders). Also, I'll take him over Mykan any-day. At least Vulcan had a few interesting ideas (like how Equestria refuses to make technological breakthroughs because it's not in touch with the rulers, unintentional that ignorance may be). Also, to make things better, I imagine Darth Vulcan's voice as that of Lord Zedd (with all the unintentional humor that entails).

Wait a minute? He wrote sequels to Past Sins? Okay. Since he's abandoned that (I think), hopefully that's an old shame of his.


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Dashguy


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post Feb 6 2017, 01:15 PM
QUOTE (MasterOfNintendo @ Feb 6 2017, 06:11 PM) *
Secondly, I'm not going to lie. Darth Vulcan's story was controversial and there were a few...questionable elements, but some of his blog-posts did point out a few good points (the squalor the Griffon Kingdom is in is highly suspect). Also, he's a villain. A villain who, as the fanfic goes on, has to work for his victories (and there's a good chance he's going to fall HARD in the end). It doesn't help he can be a bit amusing, like a few of his subordinates (one of them inadvertently invents waterdance when running away from the aptly named Nope-Spiders). Also, I'll take him over Mykan any-day. At least Vulcan had a few interesting ideas (like how Equestria refuses to make technological breakthroughs because it's not in touch with the rulers, unintentional that ignorance may be). Also, to make things better, I imagine Darth Vulcan's voice as that of Lord Zedd (with all the unintentional humor that entails).

Fair enough. I still hate the guy and the story, but I do respect your opinion.
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MasterOfNintendo


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post Feb 6 2017, 01:19 PM
QUOTE (Dashguy @ Feb 6 2017, 01:15 PM) *
Fair enough. I still hate the guy and the story, but I do respect your opinion.

Forsooth.


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MasterOfNintendo


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post Feb 6 2017, 10:54 PM
Here we are at the trial of Beast Emo. Only, this time, I will taking the role of judge, jury, and executioner (at least, that last part will come into play during the final chapter).

Pink= Myself


White= A crime against the eyes

Chapter 8: Court of Injustice

Coming soon from the imagination of an anti-brony gone too far: Court of Injustice-Idiots Among Us!

A few days had passed, and more and more robberies had hit the city.

Pay-meters and pay-phones were emptied out and not by the collectors. Not a coin was left in their collection plates.

More antique valuables had been stolen, not just from stores, but from five-star hotels, restaurants, even from people’s homes, all reported to have just vanished without a trace.

Okay. Credit where credit is due, enough incidents like this and we've got ourselves a crisis among the people. Say what you will about Changeling, but how many days has it been?

Also, free food at Primo Brothers Pizza! This guy's living the life of crime, alright.


The authorities were totally stumped and hadn’t a clue to go by. No one seen or caught on camera, no finger prints, footprints, not anything left behind to lead to a potential suspect.

The city was now beginning to suffer serious financial and moral decline, and people were starting to panic and grow suspicious of everyone, even going as far as to lockdown their stores, setting up traps, only to wind up catching the innocent.

Their idiocy had reached "The Monster Are Due on Mulberry Street" levels. Except that was brilliant. Then again, it's nice to see the logical conclusion of this town's imposed dumbassery.

Even the banks now had armed swat teams on round-the-clock standby and suspected anyone who tried to come in.

They didn't have to guard the airports. Those were already under a ridiculous lock-down to get rid of those suspected terrorists.

Basically, screw Trump.


Of course, the titans were non-too thrilled with all that was happening. “Man, I don’t believe all this!” groaned Cyborg “all the greatest security systems money can buy and the completely flop to catch this guy.”

“Oh, and to think the people of our city tremble and suffer so.” said Starfire.

Robin had thought it good and hard, and there was only solution left, “…We’re going to set a trap. It may just be the only way we can even get a look at whoever’s responsible.”

Can't wait to see where this takes us. Knowing the rep sheet of these fics, who's to say silly string won't cut them down to size?

“But how are we supposed to do that?” asked Raven “We don’t even know where they’re bound to strike next.”

“Not quite…” said robin, and he showed everyone a map with a red dot indicating all the banks, stores and various other places that were robbed. There were also some green dots, not many, which resembled a few banks and places that hadn’t been touched yet. “We’ll setup a little trap around the Second National Bank. It seems to have the richest quantity of the lot, and I’m sure that’s where our suspect will head next, and we’ll even convince the security to make it look like the defenses are down.”

Consider yourself lucky you're not in Gotham city. Otherwise, the moment you try to make negotiations, everything goes to slag.

The others fell silent for a moment.

“Well, it can’t hurt to try.” said Cyborg.

The girls agreed as well.

"MEN FIRST! GURLS LAST!"

“Okay then… we go at it tonight.” said Robin.

Meanwhile in bastardized corner of the Hasbro Universe...

The trial was ready to commence. Twilight had taken her place on the jury stand along with eleven other ponies, all seeming irate and bored with the fact they had to sit through a trial for a pony that was already more than guilty as anyone knew.

Yeah, I hate jury duty too. Not gonna lie.

Her friends and Spike sat in the front row, and Pinkie cheered for Twilight, only to be reprimanded by the others.

“Pinkie Pie, keep quiet.” said Rarity. “Yeah, this is a court of justice, not some circus performance.” added Applejack.

Yeah, that's all she's good for in fics like these. I guess the detective thing does offset it a bit, but keep in mind. She's no stranger to interrogation. I'll just leave that out there.

Twilight still felt a little nervous.

The doors flung open and Beast Boy was marched out, in cuffs, by two bailiff ponies, but all the court gawked at him and whispered concern and expressions back and forth.

"You think we should give the guilty pants if they keep their dicks flapping about?"

"I'M NOT IMPOTENT! SEE?!"

“It’s him!”

“That’s Changeling.”

“I hope he goes to jail for a-hundred years.”

“I hope they cut his head off!”

Black and white. The only shades Mykan can see in. Like a damn mongrel.

Rainbow recognized him as, “It’s the chump I ran into the other day. I can’t believe, all this time…”

Soon the court was in session, and the prosecutor began his opening statements. “Citizens of Ponyville…” he called out “As you are no doubt aware, for the past several months, citizens, businesses and even whole banks across Equestria have been senselessly robbed. The accused is charged not only with endangering our financial ways of life, but our very lives themselves as he is believed to be alleged murderer of the first degree.”

"I, of course, am pulling that last bit out of my ass, but let's face it. We've all got a gun to our heads from some crazed entity above, so I'd suggest we comply if we're to see our families again."

He held up one of the Wanted Posters for all to see, right next to Beast Boy. “As you can no doubt see, this pony here stands guilty as charged. It is highly recommended to punish Changeling as soon as possible.”

"Basically, screw due process."

There was an outbreak of chatter in the courthouse, but the judge banged her hoof like a gavel shouting “Order, Order!” she called. Everyone quieted down. Then the Judge reviewed the case files containing quite a few lists of charges, and she spoke deeply to Beast Boy. “Mr. Changeling, have you anything to say for yourself.”

“Yes…” Beast Boy said “For the last time, I am not Changeling!”

"I mean, I'm the emo twat here and even I find this whole 'Equestrian witch hunt' thing ridiculous!"

There was uproar of gasps, and exchanges of confusion and outrage.

“Not Changeling?” Twilight muttered.

“Order!” called the Judge as she banged her hoof, silencing the courtroom. “Yes, I have read the reports. You claim that you not only not Changeling, but you also claim that you are not originally from our world.”

More exchanges of concern, especially from Twilight, and she suddenly remembered about the mirror portal.

“It’s the truth!” cried Beast Boy.

“Truth or not…” remarked the judge “The fact remains that you have no substantial proof to verify your claims, and you have been positively identified by eye-witnesses and victims of the crimes you are charged with.”

Also, I'm noticing a lack of a lawyer, but that would make sense. Even Perfect Cell, in the fanfic Honor Trip, got one when he was...long story.

Go check it out. It's so much better than this trash.


Beast Boy tried in vain to explain things, but no one seemed interested in what he had to say, many of the ponies booed and hissed at him, even Rainbow and Rarity did, but their friends were starting to have second thoughts.

Surely someone on trial would not make sudden outbursts like this-- claiming to be someone else, and not of their world-- not to mention the kind of reputation that Changeling had, one would think he wouldn’t act so frightened, so desperate.

Fluttershy felt this the most as she looked over and Changeling. Normally she’d be afraid of such a scary and evil criminal, but seeing the look in his eyes-- the look of fear, loss, and even a tad of lonesome-- “What if he’s telling the truth?” she whispered to her friends.

Fluttershy: The only pony Mykan relents from demonizing. I guess even her kindness was able to reach out to him.

“Come to think of it... he did get kinda captured way to easy.” said Applejack “And he hasn’t put up a strong fight or anythin’.”

Element of Honesty, after all. I'm surprised Mykan got that detail down.

Pinkie Pie’s mind was arguing back and forth, “She’s right. But what if she’s not? What if she is? What if she isn’t!” back and forth, making her dizzy.

And now Pinkie is Gollum. That would be far more entertaining.

Twilight thought about all this the most, but still there was no proof, there was no evidence, and it also seemed that none of the other ponies on the jury seemed to share her concern, still convinced Beast Boy was guilty.

The judge believed she had heard enough, and announced “The Jury will now retire and return with a verdict.”

"And for Elysium's sake, don't bring any Digimon characters in."

For context, Mykan once made a 12 Angry Men-based fic based on that element. 3 guesses as to who were the villainous characters?


One of the jurors raised her hoof, “Um… is this really necessary. He’s clearly guilty.”

Though it was against normal procedures, the judge asked “Do all other jurors feel the same way?”

One-by-one each juror raised their hoof to show their agreement in judging Beast Boy guilty as charged until it was down to Twilight, and she seemed pretty hesitant.

She felt every single eye in the courtroom fixated on her. Rarity and Rainbow were still convinced of the guilt and gave her gestures saying “Do it!” while all the others remained as hesitant as she was.

Oh, for the love of butter! If you're going to make Rarity and Rainbow Dash want his head on a pike, make sure there was some sort of grave injustice done against them! Oh, wait. Apparently, bumping into each-other and making a fuss counts as worthy of incarceration.



Of course Twilight knew she had to make a choice, but exactly which…

She didn’t feel it would be right to just vote guilty off the bat, but then again without any evidence to back it up and none to be obtained, she couldn’t just vote not-guilty either. Ponies everywhere seemed so convinced of the guilt that voting against it would have negative impacts on her reputation, but she had to make her choice… Now!

“I… I…”

Beast Boy gazed at her desperately as if he was trying to tell her not to vote him guilty.

Twilight was sweating bullets, and trembling nervously, “I vote--”

Suddenly, the courtroom doors flung wide open. “Stop everything!” called a voice everyone recognized at once. They all turned and gasped in soft shock and awe.

"I'm Mista T! And Imma beat the stupid outta y'all!"

Beast Boy gazed in near awe at the two elegant ponies standing at the doorway.

“Princess Celestia! Princess Luna!” cried Twilight.

Of all the times these two take action when a catastrophe comes the town's way, they choose THIS time? I get that they care for the inhabitants, but who's to bet they only came here just to make Beast Boy look even more like a victim?

The two sisters walked through the courtroom, and all gathered bowed as they passed. Finally, they reached the stands and Celestia pointed at Beast Boy and proclaimed “This is not Changeling.”

"It's a jackass. Totally different."

The courtroom echoed with gasps. “Begging your majesty’s pardon, I presume you have evidence?” asked the judge.

“We do.” replied Celestia “Princess Luna…”

Her sister cleared her throat, “A few days ago, Princess Twilight Sparkle had written to us expressing concern of the magical gateway that is connected to the other world from our own; that it was suddenly activated through no known explanation.

"And awful writing. Thou art f'ed up in that department."

“We only then had been sent reports claiming that the master thief, Changeling, had been apprehended, however, despite the physical resemblance, and that one would confuse this individual as the affirmed criminal, you can note the many differences…

-He has not the magic amulet with him

-He is missing is cloak and hood

-Though he has been identified, spotted by many of the townsfolk of Ponyville, has he committed any crimes which he has been charged with before you?”

These made every pony including the witnesses realize that he hadn’t done any such things. He even refused people handing him their money and saddlebags and all else, and he acted as though he were really lost.

Celestia and Luna, in summary, caught onto the fact that everypony has been acting like an idiot. Kinda embarrassing for the towsfolk.

But hey! At least Equestrian entities are responsible for clearing this mess up. In the span of only 2 or 3 chapters. There goes that dilemma.


Still, this was not really enough evidence to suggest otherwise.

Celestia then approached Beast Boy, and he backed away from her, slumping deeper into his seat.

“Don’t be afraid. I won’t hurt you.” she closed her eyes, and concentrated hard, until her horn and her mane were glowing brightly.

Twilight recognized this spell; she had been trying to perfect it herself but hadn’t succeeded. “The spell of seeking purity.” she said “She’s feeling for the goodness and pureness within him. The brighter she glows, the more pure the subject is or capable of.”

Oh, GAG me.

Wait a second. When has THIS ability ever appeared?


Everyone could tell by this point that this pony was definitely not Changeling. How would there possibly be that much good for a criminal reputed to be that horrid.



Are you for real? Look, I guess it's enough purity to discern him from an actual criminal, but are you trying to suggest that Beast Boy has a pure heart?

Then again, if Abridged Vegeta can become a Super Saiyan due to pure ego, who's to say pure emoness can't cancel out the evil in one's heart?


Celestia stopped glowing and opened her eyes. More than convinced she declared “This pony is found innocent of all charges, and is free to go.”

She then used her magic to vanish the shackles round Beast Boy.

The judge agreed, and officially banged her hoof dismissing everyone. Many ponies began to clear the courtroom. Some were ashamed and felt guilty for having accused the wrong pony and others were worried and upset knowing the real thief was still at large.

Only the princesses, the Mane six and Spike remained, but Beast Boy, he was virtually speechless. “I… I don’t know what to say.”

Finally! No more telling off! If we're lucky, he's been humbled. Then again, I'm probably asking for much.

Celestia smiled at him and lifted his chin by her hoof “It’s alright; you have nothing to fear now.”

Never before had he seen such honesty, and from such a gorgeous creature. He felt like he was literally being touched by an angel.

Oh for...actually, I won't lie. She's not only powerful, but adorable. Not as much as her sister, but still. Is it no wonder I paired her up with a genetic aberration that resembles a dinosaur from Hell?

I think I've said too much.


He began to cry softly, and Celestia hugged him warmly to soften him and ultimately prove she meant no harm. “You’ll be alright.” she whispered to him.

Well, that was a pointless plot point. Way to introduce Equestria to us, you jackass.

See you soon.


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Post #17
Dashguy


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post Feb 7 2017, 06:53 AM
QUOTE
“Okay then… we go at it tonight.” said Robin.

Oh Robin, you're so adorable when you think you will be able to accomplish anything without the help of Myka--sorry, Beast Boy.

QUOTE
Celestia and Luna, in summary, caught onto the fact that everypony has been acting like an idiot. Kinda embarrassing for the towsfolk.

But hey! At least Equestrian entities are responsible for clearing this mess up. In the span of only 2 or 3 chapters. There goes that dilemma.

I'm torn here. On one hand, I'm glad Mykan is not dragging this trial shit beyond than the necessary minimum. On the other, look at this shit:

QUOTE
“We only then had been sent reports claiming that the master thief, Changeling, had been apprehended, however, despite the physical resemblance, and that one would confuse this individual as the affirmed criminal, you can note the many differences…

-He has not the magic amulet with him

-He is missing is cloak and hood

-Though he has been identified, spotted by many of the townsfolk of Ponyville, has he committed any crimes which he has been charged with before you?”

He can't be the guy we're looking for because he's not wearing two articles of clothing he could've easily removed! He's also not behaving in the way we know! Nevermind he's the member of race of a shapeshifters that specialize in infiltrations!

It's like a freaking ping pong of idiocy.
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Post #18
MasterOfNintendo


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post Feb 7 2017, 12:00 PM
QUOTE (Dashguy @ Feb 7 2017, 06:53 AM) *
Oh Robin, you're so adorable when you think you will be able to accomplish anything without the help of Myka--sorry, Beast Boy.


I'm torn here. On one hand, I'm glad Mykan is not dragging this trial shit beyond than the necessary minimum. On the other, look at this shit:


He can't be the guy we're looking for because he's not wearing two articles of clothing he could've easily removed! He's also not behaving in the way we know! Nevermind he's the member of race of a shapeshifters that specialize in infiltrations!

It's like a freaking ping pong of idiocy.


First off, yeah. It's really something when the apprentice of the goddamned Batman can't even function without the comic relief character.

Secondly, no. He's not an actual Changeling. Mykan just couldn't think of an original name. However, as a few chapters later will reveal, there may have been a more detailed, but no less unoriginal reason for it. Still, there's the classic touch of flimsy reasoning Mykan uses in his stories.



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Post #19
MasterOfNintendo


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post Feb 7 2017, 12:21 PM
So, our "hero" just got saved by divine intervention and Mykan honestly doesn't want me to think he's a Marty Stu. The way our world works sometimes baffles me.

Pink= Myself


White= I wouldn't even line a birdcage with copies of this scrap

Chapter 9: Friendship is Silly

And this fanfic is asinine.

Beast Boy was invited back to Rainbow Castle, and all the ponies wished to make it up to him for all the trouble he had just suffered.

Hopefully, by sending him home the moment they realized the story they were in. They've seen the signs, by now!

He was treated to a good banquet, though he requested vegetarian dishes. He even ate a dandelion salad with oats and fodder, which seemed to taste great to him as he was a pony.

Maybe because vegetarian dishes are ALL THEY HAVE. It's simple pony biology. There's been meat, but it's been used for other species, at the point.

Rarity even gave him a little bit of a new look, but trimming and restyling his mane shorter, and cropping his tail so other ponies would not confuse him as Changeling. “I really wish I could do more for you.” she said “Can you ever forgive me?”

Beast Boy thought about it deeply, “Well, sure… considering I’m in a strange world, surrounded by talking horses, and I was treated horribly and nearly sentenced for crimes I didn’t commit… but… Okay. I’ll try.”

...Eh. Still dickish, but not the worst thing that could have happened. Then again...

Don't fuck with Rarity in these parts. I know a certain mocker here that would send you to Hell and back.


She smiled at him and pecked his cheek, much to Spike’s jealousy.

Another thing, Mykan. STOP making Rarity a flirt, okay?! It's getting old. How would you like it if I told you that I like a canon in which she likes stallions AND mares? That would be interesting, at least.

Soon, everyone was gathered at the map-table, the royal sisters headed the meeting as they wanted to hear Beast Boy’s story of how he ended up in Equestria.

Motherfragger. They brought the all-powerful IKEA table of "buncha restrictions on helping others because destiny said so" bullscrap. Please tell me it gets reduced to rubble.

He told them pretty much the basic stuff…

“Back where I come from, I used to be a butt-kicking superhero, a member of the Teen Titans. I could turn into almost any animal you could think of.”

“Any animal?” asked Fluttershy “That’s incredible!”

"I could even turn into...THE INCREDIBLE BEAST!"

Subsequent book sales of that event flopped hard due to the fact that most of the ponies in Equestria regained their brains.

“Incredible?!” cried Rainbow “That is downright AWESOME!!”

Says the pony that can break the sound barrier with enough effort. Seriously, does Mykan jack you up on Nyquil and Red Bull every fic?

Pinkie bounced excitedly going, “Can you become a dog, no a cat… ooh, how about an elephant and a giraffe?”

The three princesses gave her a look telling her to calm down. “I don’t believe his regular powers work here anyway.” said Princess Luna “He is merely a unicorn version of himself.”

"So sayeth the idiotic laws that dictate this fanfic."

Beast Boy tried and tried to morph, but he concentrated a little too hard and ended up shooting a beam of magic through one of the stain glass windows.

“Sorry…”

He did think it was kind of cool that he couldn’t do magic, but he decided to try and keep it easy before causing another accident.

Indeed, stained glass is a bitch to clean.

“I guess that explains a lot…” said Twilight, and she looked back at Celestia whom concurred with her theory, “Yes, there can be no doubt. Changeling must be in the human world, and he sent Beast Boy back in his place hoping we could mistake him for Changeling, thus sparing himself from being hunted down.”

Beast Boy was still finding it difficult to soak in all these fascinations. “But he looked just like me…” he pointed out “And now I look just like him. What’s with that?”

Hate the author, not the story. Actually, hate both for what both did to you.

Twilight explained as best she could, “Basically all I can say is, every creature that lives here in Equestria has an alternative version of themselves in your world, or vice-versa.”



So...there's a pony version for everyone in the DC universe here? I know this is trying to create parallels with Equestria Girls, but this just opens up a whole SLEW of questions by combine those worlds! The pony version of Beast Boy is heavily implied to be Changeling, if that dialogue is anything to go by, so is there a pony version of Slade Wilson who's actually a good Samaritan? The Brain is a regular scientist like Abridged Dr. Wheelo? DARKSIED IS HAPPILY MARRIED FOR GOOD?!

Mykan, the more you try to make your story the least bit interesting, you done frag it up!


This astonished Beast Boy, and even more so when Twilight showed him a few picture of all her human friends from Canterlot High, including her actual Human counterpart.

“Every time, I look at this, it makes my head spin.” said Applejack.

You're telling me! And we're not even close to finishing this fanfic!

“I really we could go and meet them all.” added Rainbow.

“Perhaps someday you will.” Celestia assured them “To be honest, I wouldn’t mind meeting my own human version.”

Alright, but hold your laughter when you hear the name PRINCIPLE Celestia. In all honesty, she should have been a world leader in the human world. Not a fragging principle at a dime-a-dozen school.

Judging by the photo and the stories Twilight explained, it became clear to Beast Boy that though humans and their Equestrian counterparts resembled one another, they did not share every single solitary detail, trait, or personality.

What did I just say?

Spike’s counterpart was a dog, not a dragon.

Celestia and Luna’s humans were not monarchs of an entire land, but rather ordinary mild-mannered managers of a High-School.

Again. I rest my case.

Even Twilight’s own human was a nerdy girl interested more in sciences and physics, and while that was almost the same as Princess Twilight’s study of magic and things, it still wasn’t total.

… But all that was beside the point.

Well, the other human versions of the ponies seem to keep their personality traits. Are you telling me it's sometimes personality, sometimes position of power, and sometimes (rarely) species? Clarity, please.

“So if Changeling’s in the human world…” said Spike “Shouldn’t we be making plans to go and get him?”

“I think you’re right, Spike.” said Twilight “Who knows how many awful things he’s already done.”

“Count me out.” said Beast Boy.

"Screw the city sinking into poverty and chaos! I'm Beast Emo! The emotional teenage phase that walks!"

There was a brief silence and everyone gawked at him deeply.

“Whatever do you mean?” asked Rarity.

“Count… me… out. That’s that I mean.” replied Beast Boy “Even if I can go back to my world, I’m not sure I should, but I know for a fact that I don’t even want to.”

More concern followed.

And a strong desire to just boot him out of the place. Seriously. He's not being cool. He's just being a dick. Even Reaper from Overwatch, with all his parody-like edginess, is far more respectable.

“But… you said you were a superhero; a Teen Titan.” said Rainbow. Beast Boy shook his head, “I said I USED to be. I’m not anymore, I gave it up.”

"I wasn't showered with enough respect and I didn't get any pussy from a girl I really should have given up on. So, they can all die for all I care!"

Everyone gasped.

“You what?!” snapped Pinkie.

I know, right?! PRICK!

“I gave it up.”

“YOU WHAT…?!”

“I said I-- ugh, never mind.”

Okay, that was getting annoying. I'll give you that.

Twilight approached him and asked, “Did you and your teammates have some sort of fight?”

Beast Boy looked at her with a strange expression and said “Complete and postal fallout” doesn’t even begin to describe. I don’t care if ever see any of them, or Jump City ever again.”

Fallout? You have only yourself to blame for hooking yourself on a girl who, for the umpteenth time, WASN'T WORTH IT! In fact, your emo-ness rubbed on her so bad, she's barely keeping it together! Asshat!

All of the ponies, even Pinkie Pie could tell there was a serious friendship problem going on.

Oh, boy. Who's got the straw to fill these equines up?

“Well, I reckon you came to the right place after all.” said Applejack.

“Yeah, we can help fix your friendship problem, cuz friendship is what we do best.” added Pinkie.

“I’m sure everything will be alright.” said Fluttershy.

All the other ponies seemed to agree, especially Twilight, but much to their shock Beast Boy scoffed at the very idea. “Forget it.”

Everyone was staring at him again with deep concern, “You make it sound like you can solve all my problems with simple friendship.”

Oh, yes. Except not. Are you blind?! Sure, there have been a few hiccups, but the point that they've framed (and learned, earlier) a few times, is that friendship is a PROCESS. Not an event. Much like romance, except the author thinks it's like destiny or some bullscrap like that.

“Well, it’s what we believe in.” said Twilight “Our motto is “Friendship is Magic.”

Everyone else nodded in agreement, and Twilight along with the two sisters used their magic to show him a little of what they mean through magical images and a small song.



And I am NOT fragging kidding. Mykan just uses the Season 5 intro and BOY, are there a bunch of discrepancies here.

1. It's a fragging lazy move that doesn't even have them go into detail as to HOW it's helped them in the past.

2. Celestia could have easily did that 2001: A Space Odyssey thing from Magical Mystery Cure and flooded his mind with moments from the show. That would grant more insight.

3. It makes the ponies come off even more as air-headed twats.

4. The following lines.


Beast Boy began to laugh softly.

“What’s so funny?” Twilight asked.

“Friendship… is Magic?” Beast Boy said, trying to contain his laughter, “No offense but… that has got to be the silliest concept I’ve ever heard.”

Well, frag you too. Sure, that was a lazy move of the author, but seriously. If not for friendship, you'd be spending your days as a street rat. And do tell, are you not going to mentioned you reconciled with your old team (the Doom Patrol) and could have just hung out with THEM?! Or, at least, let that thought cross your mind somewhere in the fanfic? No? You're an idiot.

The friends began to express more concern between each other than ever, figuring something extremely bad must have happened to Beast Boy to make him act the way he was.

“Look, I just don’t want to go back, and I really don’t want to talk about it.”

Celestia gave sympathy to Beast Boy, and she walked over to him and spoke softly and kindly to him. “If you don’t wish to go back, no one will force you to do anything. We will give you all the time you need.”

Celesita, I appreciate the heart, but he just said he's going to leave innocent people at Changeling's mercy. If he DOES escalate his criminal record, we're gonna have a bunch of blood get spilled on the green buffoon's hands.

Beast Boy smiled sadly at her, but he felt just a little grateful.

“Still, we cannot simply ignore the dangers that Changeling is still loose in the human world.” added Luna “Perhaps you will at least tell us anything you know that may help us.”

Beast Boy agreed to that, and Twilight levitated over to him a parchment and a loaded quill asking him to write down every detail.

Well, you're not TOTALLY a dick about it. Still. My point stands.

Unfortunately, he had a little trouble getting started, seeing as he couldn’t effectively pick up the quill in his hoofs, and he didn’t dare try to use any magic; not wanting to cause another accident.

“Um… I think I should handle this.” Spike said as he took the quill and parchment. Beast Boy explained to him everything he knew about Changeling, including where his cave of stolen goods were, and also to beware of his magic amulet. “I really don’t know how powerful that thing really is; I only had a taste of it before I ended up here.”

Please don't tell me Beast Boy has Spike wear a get-up like his as in what happened in Keep Living for Friendship.

I just really hate that fic. I really do.


As Spike took down the notes and the royal sisters listened into every detail… Twilight and her friends were talking quietly.

“I’ve never seen someone so downtrodden about friendship before.” said Twilight.

Oh, really? I'm sure Dashguy can bring up a TvTropes page of similar jaded individuals who had much better reasons to go spit on friendship.

“Nor have I.” added Rarity “Whatever happened to him must’ve been really bad that he wouldn’t want to go back.”

“I think he’s just scared.” said Rainbow “Maybe if he unwinds here after a few days, he’ll want to go back.”

Step 1: Slap him.

Step 2: Tell him to stop being a little bitch.

Step 3: Boot him out if he still protests.

Step 4: Hope for the best.


Applejack didn’t feel so optimistic “It’s already been a few days, and he’s been through more than a lone apple in a worm colony.”

Pinkie Pie opened her mouth to say something, which everyone caught on and said “No Parties!”

Because having him socialize with possibly like-minded individuals would be just silly!

“Ah, shucks!” grumbled Pinkie. “Well, I haven’t any other ideas. What can we do to make Beast Boy feel comfortable?”

The number-one thing of all on everyone’s mind was where he was going to stay. Twilight wanted to put up with him, but she knew she’d have to speak with the royal sisters of an upcoming mission to the human world.

“Um… I… what I mean is--” Fluttershy stammered “…I could take him in. I mean… if it’s alright with the rest of you…?”

Anyone else know where this is going? What did I just say about Keep Living for Friendship and HiE fics in general?

The others approved of the idea straight away. She was soft-spoken, calm and gentle, and an animal caregiver; exactly all the things Beast Boy could use given his situation.

Well, the animals part is somewhat clever, so at least it isn't TOTALLY for waifu-ish reasons...right?

Soon, the sisters had to leave, and Twilight had work to do as well. The ponies even told their majesties of Fluttershy’s volunteer to look after Beast Boy. “Well, if Beast Boy has no objections…?” Celestia asked while looking upon him.

He merely shook his head saying “It’s okay… I could use a place to stay.”

"Be prepared for some blood in the bathtub and hours of Linkin Park."

“Very well then…” said Celestia, and she gazed at all the ponies, “…I’m trusting all of you not to make things too difficult for him. Remember, he is still strange to our world.”

The ponies all agreed, especially Fluttershy. “I’ll take good care of him, your majesty.”

The sisters nodded, and then they flew out the open window, which Beast Boy accidently smashed, magically restoring it on their way out.

“Dude…!” cried Beast Boy “…Magic seems to be everywhere in this place.”

Magic all over this bitch, I know!

You lived in a world where Felix Faust and many more like him exist! Show some hindsight!


The ponies could see Beast Boy was going to have some wild time understanding their world.

Author's Note:

Oh, look. Let's see how he worms his way into here.

Sorry to spoil, but it'll save you disappointment...

Too late. Already happened.

I have no intention of bringing out the other titans pony counterparts, nor do I intend to have the other Titans nor Terra go to Equestria either.

There's just no room for that with what I have planned, and besides... the title is "BEAST BOY... In Equestria." This is HIS adventure, as well as a punishment fic


Because who needs any other bits of creativity? Then again, at least we won't have to deal with other hastily done villains.

See you soon.



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Post #20
Dashguy


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post Feb 7 2017, 01:25 PM
QUOTE
Don't fuck with Rarity in these parts. I know a certain mocker here that would send you to Hell and back.

Do you want to get cut, Beast Boy? Because that's how you get cut, son.

QUOTE
Another thing, Mykan. STOP making Rarity a flirt, okay?! It's getting old. How would you like it if I told you that I like a canon in which she likes stallions AND mares? That would be interesting, at least.

Pfft! Next thing you're going to tell me is that Applejack and Rainbow Dash have other character traits beyond a southern accent and flying really fast.

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Oh, really? I'm sure Dashguy can bring up a TvTropes page of similar jaded individuals who had much better reasons to go spit on friendship.

You could try with this one, or this, or maybe this.

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“Still, we cannot simply ignore the dangers that Changeling is still loose in the human world.” added Luna “Perhaps you will at least tell us anything you know that may help us.”

What does it say about your writing skills when the characters that we're supposed to despise end up looking heroic, while the one you want us to sympathize with is an asshole?
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Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 23rd February 2017 - 08:31 AM