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> Trying to Revive Rarity, Except it's not going to work.
Post #1
shiroamasa


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post Jan 19 2017, 11:07 PM
Hey, gang. Are you ready for another MLP fic to bash? Yeah, me either. So, let's begin anyways!



Spike leans close to Rarity's tomb. "Rarity, don't worry, Spikey-wikey's got you.", he said softly. "I'm always here for you." He patted the ground that Rarity in her coffin was buried under. "Come on, talk to me from down there. Talk to me from down there!" His clothes were tattered up and his hair's messy.


...Dude. She's dead. Unless you can communicate with ghosts? Not happening.


Twilight, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy, Sunset Shimmer, Trixie, and Starlight were standing under a tree where they aren't aloud to walk away from. "I'm so bored.", Rainbow Dash complained. Spike told them, if they leave the tree, they die as well.

"I agree.", Sunset said. "When is Spike going to get past Rarity being dead? Like seriously, is he obsessed with Rarity?"


Hahahaha-Kill yourself, Sunset.


"He's trying to find a way to bring Rarity back.", Applejack said. "He loved her for years."

"But, if you're dead, there's no way to come back.", Twilight said. "Besides, we already buried her to the ground."


...YOU HAVE FUCKING MAGIC! I'm pretty sure that includes the dark arts, which NECROMANCY is a part of!


"Hahahaha! Laugh with me, Rarity!", Spike said. "Come on, I know you're buried deep under there, but try laughing while you're underground." Spike's friends put Rarity in her coffin and buried her in her grave. Spike shed tears down his face he saw Rarity deep underground. He totally snapped.

"This isn't safe.", Fluttershy whispered.


So is letting a little dragon boy going crazy, standing at your friend's grave. Shouldn't you be taking him away from here, Twilight?


"I with you on this one, light-pink one, one day it's going to go too far.", Trixie said. "If she brings Rarity back to life and gets possessed, then she tries to kill us."

"Whatever, I wish I was dead anyways!", Sunset snapped.

"It will be fun to be buried, well, not alive.", Pinkie said.

"Well, I'm not too keen in being buried alive.", Fluttershy said.

"But, what should we do?", Starlight asked. "Come on, think of something."


What is wrong with you, you dumbasses?! What are you even talking about? Are you saying that if Rarity comes back to life, she'll go zombie on your asses?! Also, why are you not doing anything about Spike and leaving the graveyard, letting Rarity rest in fucking peace?!


"I'll talk him out.", Twilight said. She walked up to her possessed friend. "Spike, I want you let you know that you might be talking it a bit far."


Obviously!


"Yeah, yeah, yeah.", Spike said. "What else will happen? And why are you away from the tree, Twilight?! You want to die?! Absolutely not, so get back over there or I'll bury you alive!"

Twilight sobbed as ran back to the tree.


Ok, Twilight, I know you care about Spike, but you're a fucking princess now. You should not be bawling your Celestia-damn eyes out. You should be dragging him away from Rarity's grave and tearing him a new one.


"That's it, Spike has got to go!", Rainbow Dash said. "It's been going on for too long."

"But, what are we going to do?", Applejack asked.

"Hey, it's us against him, we can take him.", Rainbow Dash said.


Sure, dog-pile on the crazy dragon. I'm sure that'll go well.


"Yeah, I'm going to have to pass on that.", Trixie said.

"Why, are you scared or something?", Rainbow Dash asked.

"Yeah.", Trixie mumbled.

"Count me out to, I don't even want to go near him.", Starlight said.


"BUCKING SCAREDY-CATS!"


"Me and Fluttershy aren't tough enough to go against dragons.", Pinkie said.

"What about Twilight?", Fluttershy asked.

"She already talked to him.", Sunset said pointing at the sobbing Twilight.


Y'all suck eggs. You know what, just call on Celestia and have her deal with it.


"Looks like the only tough one is me.", Rainbow Dash said popping her knuckles and walking over to Spike.

"Rainbow, why aren't near that tree?", Spike asked.

Rainbow Dash pounced on Spike and covered his mouth. Spike couldn't breathe, so he passed out. "Got him.", Rainbow Dash said.


Good. I hope it's the end-No, no. It's not, sadly. But at least it's short.

This post has been edited by shiroamasa: Jan 19 2017, 11:08 PM


--------------------
"GAAAAAAAAAAME!" -HCBailly

"I'm HCBailly, and my cat is sleeping on my subwoofer." -HCBailly, playing Final Fantasy 3/6

"SURPRISE FISH!" - Deceased Crab

"Whoa, dude! Want some pizza with your brain arms?" Retsupurae, on Quadraxis14's LP of Contra 3

"How rude!" HCBailly, playing Secret of Mana.

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Post #2
shiroamasa


Greetings, Project After-san.
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post Jan 20 2017, 08:51 AM
And here's another chapter of Yandere!Spike. Good lord.



Spike's vision was blurry as he opened his eyes slowly. "What happened?", he mumbled. Then, he got his clear vision back, opened his eyes wide and darted them back and forward around his friends who were standing in front of him and the room he's in. He couldn't move, his wrists were strapped into the handles as he's sitting down in a chair. "Where the-- Where am I? Where's Rarity? What is this?!"


"WHAT AM I DOING IN THIS STORY?!"


"You're here in the grave house.", Rainbow Dash said.

Spike looked at the graves while his wrists were pinned. "Why? I don't belong here."

"This is only temporary, Spike.", Rainbow Dash said. "As for right now, you're scaring the hell out of us."


Oh, gee, what makes you say that, Dash? Besides the fact that Spike is slowly going crazy and loving a corpse, I don't see what's the problem!


"We thought you needed some time away from Rarity's corpse.", Starlight said.

"From what, bringing her back?", Spike asked.

"No, you're endangering her, you've gone too far on this, Spike.", Sunset said. "You're making it an unpleasant experience for all of your friends, including Rarity."


Actually, Sunshine makes a valid point. Necromance is a bad, bad thing. Only if it's done by creepy assholes. I've seen that shit happen, man.


"So, for now on, we're going to leave Rarity's corpse alone and make sure it stays buried.", Applejack said.

"Y-You don't understand, she needs to hear my voice, she needs to know I'm okay.", Spike said.

"But, you're not okay, Spike.", Applejack said.


THANK YOU FOR STATING THE OBVIOUS.


"You poisoned a lady and you can't undo that.", Rainbow Dash said.

"I'm her... little Spikey-wikey.", Spike said.

"You're nothing but a psychopath and a murderer.", Rainbow Dash said.


"YOU TAKE THAT THE FUCK BACK, YOU CELESTIA-DAMNED CUNT-BAG!" Spike roared.


Spike didn't say anything, he wasn't threatened of what Rainbow Dash called him.

They all turned around and began heading out the door. "We'll be back, Spike.", Sunset said. "Just have some time alone."

"Don't you dare get near Rarity's tomb without my permission! You hear me, I'll kill you all!", Spike yelled.


That's what would a man of a sound mind would say.


"Nice talking to you.", Starlight said as she slammed the door behind her.

Spike screamed with anger and tried to break free. He kicked his legs and tried to break the strips. Just then, a spider appeared and slowly crawled toward Spike. "Guys, help. I'm sorry, let me out.", he cried. He laughed with fear as the spider broke the strips with his teeth. Spike squealed as he broke free, he grabbed the spider and ate the top of his head. Blood fell out of Spike's mouth as he chomped the remains of the spider. "Mmm... very juicy.", he said.

...Well, I'll say this. At least it's not Cupcakes.


--------------------
"GAAAAAAAAAAME!" -HCBailly

"I'm HCBailly, and my cat is sleeping on my subwoofer." -HCBailly, playing Final Fantasy 3/6

"SURPRISE FISH!" - Deceased Crab

"Whoa, dude! Want some pizza with your brain arms?" Retsupurae, on Quadraxis14's LP of Contra 3

"How rude!" HCBailly, playing Secret of Mana.

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Post #3
shiroamasa


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post Jan 20 2017, 09:23 AM
But wait, there's more! It's your (un)lucky day! Another chapter of Spikey madness!



Spike was sitting on top of the ground where Rarity's corpse was buried under.


Um, author? Spike's inside the mausoleum.


"You sitting on top of Rarity is a good idea, Rainbow?", Fluttershy asked.

"Of course, we're trying to make sure she stays buried, aren't we?", Rainbow Dash asked.

They heard a banging at the door of the grave house. "Wow, who's in there?", Trixie asked.


Ok, first, sitting on top of a corpse is disrespectful and stupid. Two, how the fuck did Rarity die? From a heart attack? We need an explanation on how and why she died. And thirdly, IT'S CALLED A MAUSOLEUM!


"Oh shoot, do you think it's Spike?!", Pinkie asked in fear.

"Maybe, someone should check.", Applejack suggested.

"I'll do it.", Sunset said she opened the door of the cemetery house. "What now?"

Spike didn't answered, he slowly walked toward Sunset with a possessed look on his face. "Uh... Spike?", Sunset asked.


Oh, god. Run, Sunset! This is how horror movies start!


"So you think you can try to take care of Rarity's corpse without me.", Spike said. "Are you trying to keep me away from her?"

Sunset laughed nervously. "Why would you think--"

"I asked you a question.", Spike snapped.


I think he means business.






Sunset didn't say anything, she just made a frown. She stepped back a little trying to get away. But, Spike grabbed her head quickly and snapped her neck.

Trixie looked in terror. "Holy shit!", she yelled.

"Now step away from the tombstone!", Spike commanded.


Guys, I think it's time to call in the big guns. Wait, Twilight's a princess. WHY ISN'T SHE DOING ANYTHING TO STOP THIS?! And also, Spike killing someone is quite ridiculous.


"No, we're not letting you get near it.", Applejack said blocking the tombstone.

"Are you trying to do the impossible?", Spike asked as he walked up to Applejack. "Are you trying to make Spikey-wikey sad? Huh, are you? ARE YOU?!"

Applejack didn't answer.


This fic is a bunch of dragon dookie written by an asshole who's trying to be edgy as fuck. But he fails at it.


Spike stuck his tongue out and licked her face. "Ew, ew, ew, gross!", the cowgirl said with horror. She fell on her knees and held her stomach. She began barfing her guts, and choked to death on her own barf.


NOT... COOTIES!





Fluttershy screamed and fainted to the ground.

Spike dashed over to the tombstone. "Rarity, it's me, Spike.", he said. "Feel that it's me, FEEL THAT IT'S ME!" Spit fell out of his mouth, landed on the ground and sank to Rarity's coffin. The ground shook as Rarity was back to life and is now possessed.


Yup, this is written by a seven-year-old trying to be edgy. It's so dumb that I feel like hugging an action figure of a Power Ranger.


She sprang out of the ground. "Hello, girls.", she said as he looks were messed up. Her mane was in tangles and she had blood on her face. She grabbed Rainbow Dash and bit a remain of her neck.


Well, I'll be damned. Rari-zombie is a thing now. THIS IS NOT HOW NECROMANCY WORKS, PEOPLE! O-Or, at least not the kind I'm thinking of!


Rainbow Dash screamed as blood gushed out of her neck. Then, she was gone.

Rarity darted her eyes at Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Starlight, and Trixie. Twilight sneaked out of their sight before she was seen by Rarity. "Now we can have... FUN!", she said.


Please, no. I do not want your fun.


The four ran for their lives as Rarity to tried to eat them. Spike watched with an evil smile on his face.

Twilight watched with terror. "What have you done, Spike?!", she sobbed.

Spike turned around at Twilight and snapped. "What? You're having a problem now that Rarity's alive?!", he asked. He looked back at the evil Rarity. "She's so happy right now, she's having the time of her life."


If you mean "having the time of her life" by killing her living friends, then yeah, I have to disagree with you on that one. Also, WHY AREN'T YOU USING YOUR MAGIC, TWILIGHT?!


"This is not like you and that's not like her.", Twilight sobbed. "You made her kill Rainbow Dash."

"So what?!", Spike snapped and turned back at Rarity.

Spike brought out her gun and aimed at Rarity. Spike watched in fear as the gun was aiming at her. "No, not the gun.", he cried. "Don't do it, Twilight!" Spike tried to take the gun out Twilight's hand, but Twilight's hand was too strong.


...I-I don't even know what to say to this. This is so messed up and confusing, I can't even find the words to say about this. Wait, yes I do. THIS FIC IS OBTUSE AND PUERILE!


Twilight pulled the trigger and shot Rarity's shoulder.

Rarity screamed as her shoulder was shot. Spike snarled. "You should've done that, Twilight.", he said. He helped Rarity with his hands, picked up a twig and pointed it at Twilight and the others. "Girls, why don't you be like Rarity and me?", he asked. "Always happy, always smiling." He laughed evilly.


Not everyone wants to be always happy, Spike. Just like not everyone will like their characters being written by idiots who think their own canon is better than the actual show's!


Starlight kicked Spike in the hip away from Rarity and took Rarity down. She pinned Rarity down with her foot on her back.

"I'LL KILL YOU FOR THIS, STARLIGHT!", Spike snapped.

"Twilight, shoot her!", Starlight screamed.


I would love to post the "I got a shotgun" clip from Resident Evil, I really do. But this thing doesn't deserve it.


Twilight aimed the gun at Rarity's head and shot her there. "Sorry, Rarity.", she sobbed.

Spike growled as he held a knife in his hand. "Girls..."

Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Starlight, and Trixie stayed behind Twilight as she aimed the gun at Spike.


Shoot him. For the love of Celestia and everything that is good and holy and shiny, shoot him.


"You should've done that, it was the only way to bring her back.", Spike cackled.

"Spike...?", Twilight sobbed.

Spike stabbed Twilight through her belly and Twilight dropped the gun as she was weakened.


Fucking idiots, all of you! And fuck the author for making this!


"Don't take Spikey-wikey's girl away from me.", Spike said. "Since the beginning, all I wanted was to capture love with Rarity, but it never happened. All you've done was keep her away from me, Rarity was supposed to be mine."

"It's not worth it, Spike.", Twilight sobbed. "She's dead."

"It totally is worth it, all it brings me is so much joy.", Spike cackled.


Dude, she's a fucking zombie! She would've bitten a piece of your fucking skull off and suck out your brains! Trust me, it's not worth it.


Starlight grabbed the gun and shot Spike through the heart. She pulled the knife out of Twilight's torso. "Are you ok, Twi?", she asked.

"I'm okay, Star.", Twilight answered. "But, Spike isn't."

"We're all fine now, girls.", Starlight said as she looked at Spike one last time. "It's over."

OR IS IT?! I've always wanted to say that.

This post has been edited by shiroamasa: Jan 20 2017, 09:25 AM


--------------------
"GAAAAAAAAAAME!" -HCBailly

"I'm HCBailly, and my cat is sleeping on my subwoofer." -HCBailly, playing Final Fantasy 3/6

"SURPRISE FISH!" - Deceased Crab

"Whoa, dude! Want some pizza with your brain arms?" Retsupurae, on Quadraxis14's LP of Contra 3

"How rude!" HCBailly, playing Secret of Mana.

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Post #4
shiroamasa


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post Jan 20 2017, 09:31 AM
It's a RARE day that you get a triple whammy! The final chapter! And it's not even long! I'm so happy!







Spike's grave was next Rarity's grave where they were both buried at. Twilight touched Spike's tombstone, she loved Spike so much. "I'm sorry, Spike.", she said sadly. "I wish your life was cut so short."


Don't you mean, 'Wasn't'? Then again, he did STAB you.


Starlight and Trixie were taking care the graves for Sunset, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash. "We're all lucky that Spike didn't kill us.", Starlight said.

"We all still get to smell the air.", Fluttershy said smelling some air.


Yeah. The air of DEATH!


"But, the people who didn't get to smell it are Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Sunset.", Pinkie said sadly.

"You think one of us might become evil some day?", Trixie asked. "I don't want to be killed and end up in a cemetery."


Oh, hey, a poorly made Evil Dead reference! I bet the author was inspired by the movie and tried to make this into a horror comedy! Too bad it sucks ass.


"Don't worry, girls.", Twilight said. "There will be no way that it will happen to us, but it happened to Spike."


But it won't happen to anyone else outside of this badfic. And I bid you a good day, author!


--------------------
"GAAAAAAAAAAME!" -HCBailly

"I'm HCBailly, and my cat is sleeping on my subwoofer." -HCBailly, playing Final Fantasy 3/6

"SURPRISE FISH!" - Deceased Crab

"Whoa, dude! Want some pizza with your brain arms?" Retsupurae, on Quadraxis14's LP of Contra 3

"How rude!" HCBailly, playing Secret of Mana.

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Post #5
truthordeal


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post Jan 20 2017, 10:58 AM
Nothing much to say about this one. It sure did exist.


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