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> Greek Duelist, Madness? THIS, IS, MOCKING!
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Shillin' Best Girl from Fire Emblem: Echoes

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post Jan 14 2017, 05:41 PM
I know I said that I would mock a Masked Rider Roy fic, but I couldn’t resist. After accidentally stumbling across this author, I knew I had to mock one of his works. The author I’m talking about, is a fellow going by the name of Dragonlord0, a person who based on his username, and grammar, cannot be older than 13. And after reading a few of his fics, I can safely say that this guy’s a discount Harem Lord. The fic I’m mocking today is a Yu-Gi-Oh GX fic, going by the name of Greek Duelist. But really, any of his fics can be mocked. I recommend checking his fics out, because there are a couple of cringe worthy fics in his arsenal.

So without further ado, let’s get your mock on!

Chapter 1 Test

Jaden Yuki was running towards the entrance exams after he bumped into the king of games himself. He accidentally bumped into someone else as well.

"Sorry about that." Jaden said.

"Let me guess your in a hurry to get to the entrance exams to?" The person asked. The person was dressed in black jeans black shoes white t shirt and a black leather jacket that had a hood covering the top half of his face.

Wow, talk about cranking the edge dial up to eleven. I can feel it from halfway across the world.

"Yeah you trying out to?" Jaden asked.

"Yup the names Sean and we better hurry lets go." Sean said as they rushed tot he exams.

They finally managed to get there.

"Finally." Sean said.

"Well what do we have here?" A man said in a slight British accent.

A Gary Stu, and the main protagonist of this fic.

"Hi there are you trying out for the exams?" Jaden asked.

"Already did but I think you both might be to late." The man said making Jaden groan in disappointment.

"Alright now for the final duel. The one applicant named Sean will be dueling for both himself and Jaden Yuki." A man said on the microphone.

Wait, when the fuck did this Sean declare that he’s dueling for both him and Jaden?

"Wait your dueling for both of us aw man." Jaden said wanting to duel.

"Don't sweat it man I've got this covered." Sean said jumping down. He looked to his opponent and saw it was a man that(We all have thought the same thing as well) Looked like a woman.

Oh wow, a joke about Dr. Crowler’s appearance.

I’ve never seen THAT before…

"Wait a second your Sean Ashburn Kruger right your an obelisk why duel for some Slifer slacker." The man known as Doctor Crowler said in arrogance.

"Just shut the hell up you slime ball." Sean said shocking Crowler and many of the others.

Not even halfway through the first chapter, and already I want to strangle this dickhead.

Up above them a young blonde haired girl was listening to him.

"Wow he's got guts to talk to him like that but if he's an obelisk why duel if he's already in?" The woman asked in curiosity.

"Maybe because he wants to play fair like you Alexis." A man named Zane said making her smile.

"True." Alexis said.

"Hmph I guess your parents didn't teach you manners." Crowler said.

"My parents are dead asshole now enough talk lets duel." Sean said getting his deck ready.

Surely they could have taught you manners, before they were shafted into the Plothole of Death.

"Ouch I guess thats where all that anger comes from." Alexis said feeling bad for him.

"Lets see if he's got the skill to match his words." Zane said already feeling impressed by this guy.

Sean's life points 4,000

Crowler's life points 4,000

Credit where credit is due, at least the duellists only have 4,000 lifepoints.

"I start by placing a monster face down and play two cards on the field." Sean said ending his turn.

'Hmph this little brat is going to regret talking to me like that.' Crowler thought in his head.

"I play the spell card confiscation which allows me to send one card to your hand to the grave yard by paying 1,000 life points." Crowler said as Sean only had three cards. Which two were to his shock pieces of Exodia. "Hmm so tell me do you have all five pieces if so it looks like you just lost a piece." Crowler said sending the left arm away.

"Next I play two cards face down and play heavy storm which destroys all magic and trap cards on the field." Crowler said as all the magic and trap cards were destroyed and two monster tokens appeared.

"Let me guess Statue of the Wicked right?" Sean asked not impressed since it was a common tactic.

Wow, can you not be a dick for five minutes please? I would greatly appreciate it.

"Very good I see why your an obelisk but to bad you didn't take the easy way." Crowler said.

"Whats the fun in that?" Sean said making Crowler blink. "If you take to easy way you don't learn anything in life." Sean said with a grin.

"Not bad advice for a newbie." Zane said impressed.

"Well I suppose thats true but still I don't think it will really matter now. I sacrifice my two tokens to summon ancient gear golem!" Crowler said summoning his best card.

Ancient gear golem

Atk 3,000

Def 3,000

Such an amazing description. It’s almost as if it’s in front of me.

"uh oh." Sean said.

"Now attack his face down monster!" Crowler said. He regretted that decision as the monster was a cyber jar. "WAIT TIMEOUT!" Crowler said as his monster was destroyed.

You know what’s less impressive than the Heavy Storm/Statue of the Wicked combo? Fucking Cyber Jar, one of the most bullshit cards in the game.

"You know the rules draw five cards and place whatever is lower on the field. I place two monsters." Sean said.

"Fine your little jar monster saved you but don't think that means you've one since I have no monsters to summon." Crowler said.

"Actually I do win since I'm going to summon a one of a kind monster that from ancient Greece by sacrificing my two monsters on the field. THE ASSASSIN OF ORDER!" Sean said shocking everyone.(Not real all cards that are greek in this story are non existent but you'd wish they were when you see their abilities) The assassin appeared and has blades coming out of his robes glaring at Crowler.

Oh for fucks sake! Assassin’s Creed?! I thought I was done with that shit!

Assassin of order

Atk 3,000

Def 2,500

"NO!" Crowler said in fear.

"Go brutal slash!" Sean said having his assassin jump up and stab Crowler in the heart making him scream like a little bitch as his life points dropped to zero.

Fuck you, fuck you. Go eat a dick Sean. And stick that dumbass assassin card up your ass!

"Well I hate to admit defeat but to an obelisk I congratulate you for passing." Crowler said.

"Don't forget Jaden also passes since I was dueling for both of us." Sean said making Crowler sigh.

"Yes I will keep my word." Crowler said.

"Way to go Sean nice work." Jaden said shaking his hand.

"No problem at all." Sean said.

"What did he mean by having all five pieces?" The man named Bastion asked.

"Oh he meant this." Sean said showing them the five pieces of Exodia.

How? My memory of the original series is a bit hazy, but didn’t Weevil throw the only copy of the Exodia pieces into the ocean? Yes, there was that Rare Hunter, but weren’t the cards revealed to be fakes?

"What? You have all five pieces?" Jaden said in excitement.

"Yeah. My dad won them in a duel when he was still alive and now their mine along with some cards he asked Pegasus to make since they were old friends. Most of my cards are based of old Greek legends and gods." Sean said.

Oh goodie, on top of retconning the shit out of the anime, he now has custom cards made by Pegasus, because he’s the author avatar, and he’ll be damned, if he has to use real cards like us peasants!

"Very impressive I look forward to seeing them in action." Bastion said.

"Wow with cards like that you could win any duel." A boy named Syrus said.

"Yeah no joke. Any chance your willing to trade making everyone sweat drop.

"No." Sean said dryly.

"Aw man." Jaden said making everyone chuckle.

"Besides these cards are all that I have left of my dad so theres no way I'm giving any of them away." Sean said.

"Well I guess all I can do is beat you with my cards when we duel." Jaden said with a grin making Sean smirk.

You have a snowballs chance in hell of defeating the Gary Stu, Jaden.

"We'll see about that." Sean said as they walked off not knowing Alexis and Zane overheard them.

"Looks like you got a rival for top duelist Zane." Alexis said with a grin making him smirk.

"Lets just see if he has the skill." Zane said looking forward to dueling Sean and his greek cards.

Since the chapters are mercifully short, I’ll be mocking them two at a time. Before I begin the second one, let us look at the author’s harem plans.





Fonda Fontaine


and Tania

So we have four students, a teacher, a vampire, and an Amazonian warrior. And you thought I was joking when I compared him to Harem Lord.

Chapter 2 Duel academy

Sean and the others in a helicopter saw the island.

"Alright Duel Academy here we come." Jaden said.

"Heh this going to be fun." Sean said.


Sean was giving his blue obelisk cloths but he mad some changes to them mainly getting a hood on it to cover the top half of his face. He Jaden and Syrus both who were in Slifer red looked at the dueling arena.

Sure, chuck him into Obelisk Blue while you’re at it. Make him more of an obvious self-insert.

"Wow look at this place." Syrus said.

"Hey what are you two slackers doing here." An obelisk blue with a southern accent said.

"What is there a problem?" Jaden asked.

"This our turf see the crest?" The jerk said pointing to an obelisk crest above them.

"Oh sorry guess we'll just leave." Syrus said.

"You don't have to leave just because some punks say so man." Sean said glaring at the two blue obelisk.

"Hey your that guy who beat Crowler." The southern accent guy said.(I don't know their names)

You could use this amazing thing, called the internet, you moron. And given the lack of glasses mentioned, I’m guessing that this guy is Raizou.

"Hey Chaz check it out." The second obelisk said. The one named Chazz appeared above them and gave Sean a calculating look.

"Whats up?" Jaden asked carefree.

"Show some respect you slacker Chazz is going to be the next king of games." The southern obelisk said.

"Yeah right thats my title." Sean said making them glare at him.

"Knock it off you two maybe the guys right. He did beat Crowler and his legendary rare card that takes skill to do or was it luck." Chazz said.

"Hardly luck just a good hand and he should have known not to attack a monster when its face down thats a dumb thing to do." Sean said.

Oh fuck off! Even if he didn’t attack the monster, you would have just Flip Summoned it, activating its effect.

"Thats true." A female voice said. They turned and saw a woman who was dressed in blue obelisk .

"Whoa who is that?" Syrus asked.

"Hey Alexis have you come to watch me mop the floor with this punk?" Chazz said before Sean grabbed his neck and glared at him in a terrifying way.

"What did you say punk?" Sean said through grit teeth till Alexis calmly put a hand on his shoulder making him turn to her.

Jesus Christ dude. All Chazz said was that he’s going to beat you in a duel. Do you do this to anyone who asks for the time?

"Easy now let him go." Alexis said soothingly making him nod and let him go as Chazz and his two flunkies ran away in fear.

"Sorry about that my temper gets the best of me sometimes." Sean said.

You need some serious help mate.

"I don't blame you. Anyway you guys should head over to your dorms since your supposed to be there for the welcoming." Alexis said making Jaden and Syrus run off. "Your names Sean right?" Alexis said.

"Yeah." Sean said politely.

"Well my names Alexis Rhodes nice to meet you." Alexis said and blinked when he grabbed her hand and kissed it like a gentleman making her blush and smile.

"Its nice to meet a beautiful woman who's kind." Sean said making her blush more and giggle.

*Fedora tipping intensified*

"You do know that Miss Fontaine said your supposed to stay at the girls dorms since Crowler would probably give you a run down room right." Alexis asked as she and all the girls had been notified about that since they didn't want them to get the wrong impression.

Wait what?!

"Yeah sorry about that." Sean said knowing some of the girls would be upset about that.

"Its not problem for me after all at least you'll be treated fairly." Alexis said making him smirk.

No, go back there. You’re having your MALE character, stay at the FEMALE dorms?! What the fuckity fuck, is this fucking nonsense?! Way to reveal yourself as a shameless cretin, Dragonlord0!


Fonda Fontaine gave her welcome speech to the girls as they talked with one another.

Sean was looking over his cards till they were snatched from his hands by a girl with red hair.

"Hey what gives?" Sean said getting everyones attention. The girl in question was known as Missy a girl with bug cards.

"Not like someone who doesn't belong here deserves these so these cards are mine now." Missy said.

Oh look, a faceless bully to be a minor inconvenience to the protagonist. I wonder what will happen.

"Missy give those back now we've been over this." Fontaine said not wanting to make a scene happen.

"Why should I? After all rare cards don't deserve to be in the deck of some orphan." Missy said making all the girls glare at her.

Please answer me about how you know about Sean being an orphan, Missy.

"What did you just say?" Sean said as he glared at her.

"You heard me now get..." Was as far as she got before Sean punched her in the face giving him a chance to get his deck back and stomped on her stomach making her grunt in great pain.

"Listen to me very well you little bitch. Don't EVER bring that up again or I will make your life here a living hell both in the dorms and the academy. And second of all." Sean said about to kick her in the face but Alexis stopped him.

Jesus fucking Christ dude! Did you seriously assault a female student?! I know that she was harassing you, but not only was she not actually attacking you, this was a situation that the teacher could have solved easily.

Tell me author, does writing about your self-insert beating up a woman, make up for your microscopic penis, you worthless scumbag?!

"Whoa easy calm down." Alexis said making him take a deep breath and let it out before walking off.

"Poor guy." One of the girls said while they all glared at Missy who was being scolded by Fontaine.

And you’re not going to scold Sean for assaulting her?!

Oh wait, I forgot. Miss Fontaine is a member of Sean’s harem…

Sean walked into his room and growled and punched the mirror on the wall making it shatter into pieces before Alexis ran in.

"Whoa take it easy its alright." Alexis said trying to calm him down as he looked so infuriated before calming down and sat down and breathed heavily.

"Sorry you had to see that. My temper has gotten the best of me at times like that since after my parents died in an accident my brother took his anger out on me." Sean said taking his hood off making her gasp seeing an x formation scar on his left eye and one on his right one going straight down to his neck that was hidden by his hood.


Seriously, you’re putting Another Journey to shame, when it comes to edginess.

"Why would he do that?" Alexis asked not understanding why anyone would take their anger out on a younger sibling like this.

"He blamed me because the night they were killed they were going to get something for me that would help my deck and he saw it as my fault. He's in jail now after he got caught 6 years ago." Sean said before he and Alexis saw Chazz and his flunkies run off. "What is that punk up to now?" Sean asked as he jumped down to follow them.

Finally, back to the plot.


Sean and Alexis followed Chazz to see him duel Jaden till they heard footsteps.

"Uh oh we better get out of here." Sean said.

"Huh why?" Jaden asked in confusion.

"Dude the rules say no off hour arena duels." Sean said.

"He's right we need to get out of here before we all get in trouble." Alexis said.

"Heh fine I've seen enough. You wasted your time dueling for him he doesn't have skill." Chazz said.

"Really so this card I drew doesn't count as skill?" Jaden said showing he had monster reborn meaning he could bring back his flame wingman making Chazz's eyes widen.

"That proves it enough for me lets go." Sean said grabbing him and ran out.

Oh, it’s one of THOSE fics. One where the author insert’s himself into the story, and leeches off the plot of the anime.

No wonder Dashguy hates this type of shit.

Few minutes later

"Thanks for showing us the way out." Syrus said.

"No problem though Jaden is really stubborn." Sean said as he dragged him out.

"Only when it comes to my dueling." Jaden said annoyed that he didn't get to finish his duel.

"Hey think of it this way you know you would have won so don't get so annoyed about it." Sean said making Jaden blink before grinning.

"Yeah sure." Jaden said rubbing the back of his head. He and Syrus head back to their dorms while they did the same till Alexis noticed he was bleeding.

"Hold still." Alexis said looking at his hand and sighed seeing some glass in his hands.

"Sorry." Sean said and barley flinched when she pulled them out.

You didn’t notice that you had glass in your hand, for around 10-15 minutes?

I think you need to get that checked up on.

"I don't even know you for a whole day and I'm already getting my hands dirty." Alexis said in amusement.

"Ha ha ha very funny you try having a bad temper like mine and see whats happens day in and day out." Sean said making her giggle.

"There you are." Fontaine said walking to them and smiled seeing Alexis pull out the glass from his mirror in his room that was now replaced.

"Sorry if we worried you I went for a night time walk to clear my head and she came with." Sean said.

"Its alright anyway Missy wont be bothering you anymore Sheppard gave her a major warning that she would be kicked out if she did." Fontaine said.

Did she also have to pay for the broken mirror?

"Good to know well I'm heading to bed see ya." Sean said as he jumped up to his room.

'I really hope he can control his temper here otherwise it might give Crowler a reason to expel him from the island.' Alexis though heading to her room.

Sean took off his cloths till he was in sweat pants and looked at the new mirror seeing the various scars his brother gave him on his chest one in particular was an x formation that was in the length of his chest. Another was near his heart the looked to be a stab wound.

You’ve got to be kidding me. Not only does he have more scars, but he survived getting STABBED IN THE HEART! I know that this has happened before, but those incidents are so rare, they’re often considered miracles.

Alexis was passing his room and peaked through the small crack of the open door and silently gasped seeing the various scars on his chest and it brought tears to her eyes.

"I know your there Alexis." Sean said not facing the door till she opened it and turned around showing his chest. The muscles indicated he went through hours of physical training to make sure if his brother ever came after him again he would be prepared.

"I'm sorry I just wanted to see if you were ok I didn't mean..." Was as far as she got before he pulled her into an embrace making her let out a stream of tears as she held him close never seeing someone who she knew was very kind to others who he cared about be treated so badly for something he wasn't responsible for.

Goddamn…only two chapters in, and already Alexis’ character has been destroyed.

"Shhhhhh. It's ok Alexis." Sean said as he held her close. Alexis held him close not letting him go as he laid sat down on his bed. When she was done she whipped her eyes and sniffed.

"I'm sorry its just..." She tried to say.

"It's ok Alexis your not the first person who's seen me like this. I promised myself after Freddy was taken away if I ever saw him I would be prepared for his worst and knowing him he'll do anything to get to me even if that means hurting my friends something I wont let him do. I might have only known you for a day Alexis but you are important to me more then you can ever realize." Sean said making her blush and smile as she placed her head on his shoulder.

Even though like he said she didn't know him that long he was special to her and would do anything to make sure he was alright.

Alexis decided to stay with him for the night since he needed someone. She slept with her head on his chest as she breathed quietly. She was dressed in a blue night gown that covered her body which had her blue bra on and a blue thong that she had.

Oh come on! I can’t jerk off to this, because I have very little detail given to me. Show some consideration for me, jackass!

Sean still awake ran his hand through her hair and smiled.

'I may have lost my parents but I wont lose her. Not to anyone especially Freddy even if that means one of us will die.' Sean thought before closing his eyes fell asleep with the girl he knew he already was in love with.

Thus ending the chapter with the beginning of the fastest romance I have seen.

I’m with Dashguy in that I hate these type of fics, where the author gets praised for following the plot of the anime, only with their self-insert thrown in. and praised is the right word here, this shit has 64 reviews, all of them positive. There’s even this one cretin, who suggests that the author show add several girls from Yu-Gi-Oh 5DS, including Akiza, Sherry, Mina, Misty and Carly. And considering that Akiza and Sherry are in my top five favorite characters from 5DS, you can understand why I’m a bit peeved about that review.

Until next time everyone!

List of mocks can be found here: Here

QUOTE (AnItalianGuy @ May 27 2016, 02:03 AM) *
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
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Post #2

Official Dr. Who nerd of 'Murica

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post Jan 15 2017, 04:51 AM
I lost interest in Yu-Gi-Oh just before I discovered Magic:The Gathering, and I was mostly just watching whatever was on Saturday mornings. Could someone tell me what the basic plot of GX is?

Also, i checked, and THANKFULLY someone came to their senses and gave this thing a negative comment citing its main problems. Yay.

This post has been edited by Dalekid: Jan 15 2017, 04:56 AM

Technically, couldn't you kill a weeping angel by knocking it over with a stick? Seems like that would work as long as you kept watching it fall without blinking

Have you made your daily sacrifice to our Lord and savior Cthulu today?
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Post #3

Shillin' Best Girl from Fire Emblem: Echoes

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post Jan 16 2017, 09:36 PM
Dalekid@ the basic plot of GX, revolves around a young kid named Jaden, who attends a prestigious duel academy, alongside his friends, Syrus, Chumley and Bastion. His signature cards are the Elemental Heroes.

And that’s all I can remember of the show. It’s been a long time since I last saw it.

But enough of that, it’s time we delve into Dragonlord0’s shitty power fantasy.

Chapter 3 Cards of war

Sean woke up and found Alexis on his chest and smiled as he got up and in the shower. Sean looked over the scars as he got out and quietly growled in anger before a soft hand was placed on his shoulder and turned to see Alexis.

"Nice to see your up." Sean said making her smile.

"Feelings mutual now get out so I can get showered off." Alexis said as she needed to shower herself.

And we begin with painfully robotic dialogue. Great.


Sean in class with Alexis listened to her give a list of cards to clown face.(Ryan gets that credit for the name)

And you get credit for being a dick towards Dr. Crowler, despite the latter going through some serious character development.

"Very good Alexis now could someone tell me what a field spell is? Sean would you?" Crowler asked.

"Your joking right? A field spell can do multiple things depending on the card or monster. It can increase attack points like Jaden's Sky scraper or lower them or could be used for multiple things like hold on." Sean said digging through his deck. "This one Spartan battle field this allows me to place more then 5 monsters on the field as long as their Spartan or olympian cards." Sean said in boredom.

What the fuck is this broken shit?! A card that enables you to have more than 5 monsters on the field, so long as they’re a part of your broken archetype.

You know, in case you had any doubts that this guy was going to lose a duel.

'Brat lets see him answer this then.' Crowler thought.

"Very good but tell me what are three ways to end a duel automatically?" Crowler said so sure he would only get one.

"With these." Sean said showing Destiny board Exodia and Final countdown shocking Crowler and angering him.

‘He answered the question I gave him. Curse that bastard!’

"Whoa nice where'd you get those." A female Obelisk asked.

"My dad had all the rarest cards minus the Egyptian god cards and the blue eyes dragons that Kaiba owns well at least his three that is." Sean said pulling out the fourth blue eyes that Pegasus re made.

Fuck this. The only way you can make this guy more of a Gary Stu, is if he just so happened to have a Duel Spirit of the Dark Magician Girl.

'This little brat has humiliated me long enough time for him to leave my school!' Crowler raged in his head.


Sean was going to his locker and opened it and found a note with lipstick on it.

"Oh good lord fangirl mail." Sea said opening it up and to his confusion it said it was from Alexis telling him to meet him at the girls dorms. "Huh?" Sean said.

"Hey Sean whats that?" Alexis asked.

"Uh you tell me." Sean said handing it over to her and she read it and raised an eyebrow.

"I didn't send this." Alexis said.

"Then who the hell...Wait Crowler." Sean said in annoyance.

How’d you automatically come to that conclusion? Do you happen to have the episode script in your hand?

"What makes you think him?" Alexis asked.

"He doesn't know I'm on the girls campus so he's trying to get a way to expel me. I'll play his little game and get him in trouble instead just get Fontaine as a witness." Sean said.


Crowler was grinning like mad as he had his plan in progress. He sees Sean and jumps up and takes a picture.

"Really your this determined to have me expelled?" Sean asked in annoyance shocking the clown he knew.

"Wait if you knew why come here?" Crowler asked.

"Because he lives on Campus." Fontaine said shocking him as she and Alexis walked up to them.

That reminds me, why isn’t anyone else protesting to this? The school gave Sean a golden key to ogle as much teenage ass as possible.

"You really didn't think I was going to let this go did you?" Sean asked annoyed.


"Crowler I'm going to let this slide once do not try this again understood?" Shepard said.

"Yes sir." Crowler said in defeat.

"Now then the rest of you enjoy a nice night." Shepard said.

I wish I can enjoy the rest of the night, but I’ve got this shit to mock, so I can’t.

"Will do sir." Sean said with respect.

Next morning

"Hey Sean wait up!" Jaden yelled running up to him and Alexis.

"What is it?" Sean asked.

"Its time we had that duel." Jaden said shocking many of the on lookers.

I wonder what broken cards we’ll see this time…

"Jaden uh maybe this isn't a good idea." Syrus said.

"What its just a friendly duel whats the harm?" Jaden said carefree making Sean chuckle.

"Alright sure lets the worst that could happen?" Sean said getting his duel disk on.

"LETS DUEL!" They both said.

Life points for both of them 4,000

"I'll go first I play one card in defense mode and end my turn." Sean said having one face down monster.

'I'm pretty sure thats Cyber jar and thankfully I only have on monster in my hand so.' Jaden thought in his head.

"I summon Avian in attack mode." Jaden said.

Elemental hero Avian

Atk 1,000

Def 1,000

"Attack Cyber jar." Jaden said making Sean chuckle.

"Its not cyber jar." Sean said as Avian attack revealing it to be a morphing jar instead.

Fuck you! Morphing Jar as well?! You’re angering me on purpose, aren’t you?!

I swear, I want to buy a copy of all those broken Jar cards, just so I can wipe my ass with them…

"I'll give you credit you remembered my last duel using this same fist move but I've got more then cyber jars and morphing jars in my deck." Sean said discarding his hand and drew new cards along with him. Sean smirked seeing his new hand.

"Now then one of my monsters was a Spartan card from my previous hand called Spartan priest which lets me summon one card from my hand if he's in the graveyard. I summon Assassin of Order in attack mode." Sean said placing his favorite monster on the field.

Assassin of Order

Atk 3,000

Def 2,500

So this Spartan Priest can summon any monster in your hand, regardless of summoning conditions, if he’s in your graveyard?

Nope, that totally doesn’t sound broken as fuck.

"Uh oh." Jaden said.

"Thankfully for you I cant attack when I summon a monster from my Priests effect. But I can summon another monster Spartan trainee." Sean said having a man who looked 16 on the field with small but developing muscles on his body.

Spartan Trainee

Atk 1,000

Def 500

"Attack." Sean said having both monsters destroyed due to them being equal in battle.

"What was the point in that?" One of Alexis's friends Jasmine asked.

What is the point in any of this, Jasmine?

"I'm willing to bet it has a special ability." Alexis said.

"Now I can summon Spartan soldier in attack mode." Sean said placing his new monster on the field.

Spartan Soldier

Atk 1,500

Def 1,000

"I end my turn." Sean said.

"Alright my move and I summon elemental hero Burstinatrix and I use monster reborn to bring back Avian and use polymerization to create elemental hero Flame Wingman." Jaden said.

Flame Wingman

Atk 2,100

Def 1,200

"Now I play Sky scraper and you know what that means. He gains 1,000 extra attack points." Jaden said as his monster was a hundred points stronger then the Assassin of Order.

Powering up Flame Wingman using the Skyscraper field spell. Not a bad move Jaden. How will Sean respond to this play?

"Now attack." Jaden said.

"Don't be so confident." Sean said as his Spartan Soldier was destroyed instead of his Assassin.

"Wait what happened?" Jaden asked.

"Simple my Soldier can take the attack you would have giving to my assassin in its place of course I still lose life points." Sean said as he lost over 2,100 life points. "But now I can activate this card. Angry god. This lets me summon an olympian card from my hand if a greek monster was destroyed." Sean said as the sky shoots lighting down around the field scaring most of the students. "I summon the god of war ARES!" Sean said as the sky split apart and the god of war dropped down frightening most of the students at how scary looking he was with his flaming hair and fierce glare.

"Oh wow now that is what I call a monster." Jaden said in excitement.

"Wow your the first person I've dueled who isn't intimidated by my monsters." Sean said impressed.

"Well there just cards and holograms whats to be afraid of?" Jaden said. Sean chuckled in his head.

'Oh Jaden if only you knew how wrong you are.' Sean thought in his head.

God of War

Atk 3,500

Def 3,000

By activating a spell that enables him to summon a ridiculously powerful monster.

Author, can you at least, pretend Sean’s opponents have a chance of winning?

"Attack with flaming sword of war!" Sean said having Ares give a mighty war cry as he slashed his sword down on Flame Wingman destroying it and half of Jaden's life points. "Now Assassin of Order go Brutal slash!" Sean said as his Assassin stabbed Jaden in the chest. Sean smashed his fist over his chest giving his victory sign.

An attack called Brutal Slash, has the monster STAB the opponents.

Clearly someone didn’t bother to re-read his work.

"Now thats game." Sean said in amusement.

"Hey thats my line." Jaden said smiling.

"You did well thats two olympian cards I've played since coming here." Sean said as he and Alexis walked off.

"Well what do you think?" Alexis asked Sean about Jaden's dueling skill.

"I think Jaden has more potential then he realizes." Sean said as they walked off.


Sean was relaxing back at the girls dorms in the pool with his trunks on.

He even gets to share the pool with the girls?! How can the author not see the glaring problem with this?

Sean looked at his reflection of his face in the water and growled till someone splashed him making his spit out water.

"Hey!" Sean yelled and blinked seeing Mindy and Jasmine in their bikinis.

Ease up on the descriptions mate, you nearly made my boner pop out of my pants.

"What cant take a joke Greek boy?" Mindy said making Sean's left eye twitch making them giggle.

"Ok you asked for it." Sean said tackling them in the water making them squeal in laughter as he held them above the water and threw them in the deep end making them swim back up.

"You do realize this means war." Jasmine said as Alexis tackled him from behind. Alexis was also in a bikini.

Thus began the Great Bikini war of GX; there were no casualties, if you ignore the death of the participants dignity.

"Lets see how you deal with three on one." Alexis said as they tried to make him submit but squealed as he pulled her into a headlock.

"Oh I'm not to worried about that." Sean said playfully as he let her go and dove underwater.

"Uh oh where'd he go?" Jasmine asked till she squealed as she was pulled under.

"Jasmine?" Mindy asked till she squealed being pulled under.

"Uh oh." Alexis said as she was pulled under as well and seconds later all three of them were held in his hands.

"Say uncle or I'll drop you." Sean said holding them up high making them shiver.

"Alright we give." Alexis said and all three squealed as he dropped them anyway. "Hey you said you wouldn't drop us." Alexis said frowning.

"I never said that I said id drop you unless you said uncle and you didn't." Sean said mocking them making them growl and tackled him again and laughed as they did. In Sean's opinion this is what he needed to forget about his past.

Yeah, go frolic with some chicks in bikini’s, that’ll help you forget your TWAGIC past.

I have some good news, according to the author’s notes, none of the characters from 5DS will make an appearance. Why? Well…

Authors note: Alright second chapter in one day. Also Djinn to answer your question about 5d's the answer is no I'm not putting my OC in that series since the synchro monsters really confuse me.

Dragonlord0, you stupid, stupid fuck! How the fuck can Synchro monsters confuse you?! All you need is a Tuner monster, one or more non-Tuner monsters, and there you go. Granted, some Synchro monsters require specific monsters, but you can read the card to find out.

Anyway, let’s continue onto the next chapter.

Chapter 4 Assassins rage

Sean snickered seeing both Jaden and Syrus sleeping during their written test till Professor Banner said the test was over and the new rare card have arrived.




And all hell broke loose when the students minus Sean Alexis Jaden and Syrus who were still sleeping to head for the card shop.

This reminds me of the time when I went shopping at the local mall. The store was having a big sale on Yu-Gi-Oh cards, and I was attacked by a large herd of people, who bum rushed the store, taking any packs they were lucky enough to find.

To this day, I haven’t stepped into that mall again, in fear of it happening again.

"Man those two are heavy sleepers." Sean said snickering.

"So why aren't either of you getting the new rare cards?" Bastion asked.

"Dude I've got every rare card on the planet minus the Egyptian gods so why bother?" Sean said.

Thank you for reminding me of the one fact I was hoping to forget…

"And I don't really need any new cards for my deck." Alexis said.

"Hey where is everyone?" Jaden asked waking up.

"Going to get the new rare cards you didn't know?" Sean said and they bolted out. "I swear." Sean said in amusement.


Sean blinked at who his opponent was.

"So I'm going up against Chazz huh?" Sean said before smirking. "Works for me." Sean said cracking his knuckles.

Yeah, go steal the duel from Jaden. That’ll show the punk, who’s the real hero of this fic.

'It wont work for you with all the rare cards I've given Chazz you brat.' Crowler thought in his head hopping to see Sean put down.

"Alright lets get this duel over with since I've got plans." Chazz said.

"Whatever Dipshit." Sean said.

"Duel!" The both said.

Sean's life points 4,000

Chazz's life points 4,000

"I start things off by placing two face downs and place one monster face down in defense mode." Sean said.

"Ha your so predictable. you've started every duel this way so I'm assuming you either A have a cyber jar or B a morphing jar on the field am I right?" Chazz said smugly.

How does Chazz know about the Morphing Jar? Did he watch the duel between Jaden and Sean?

"Nope." Sean said. "True I've started both my duels since coming here with the same move twice but that doesn't mean its the same monster." Sean said.

"Whatever I play V tiger Jet in attack mode." Chazz said.

V tiger Jet

Atk 1,600

Def 1,800

"Now attack." Chazz said as his monster attacked Sean's face down monster which to his shock revealed to man eater bug and it destroyed his monster. "What?" Chazz said in confusion.

Man-Eater Bug? You slapped in Man-Eater Bug, in a Spartan/Assassin/Jar deck.

The more I read this, the more it looks like this guy pulls whatever card he needs, out of his ass.

"I told you it wasn't the same monster. Heres a common fact 90% of all monsters summoned face down always have a special ability its something you should know in life of duel monsters dumbass." Sean said making Chazz growl.

"I thought Sean only had Greek cards?" Jaden said.

"He does but a prepared duelist always plans ahead and he has. He's added cards that are very dangerous to his opponents monsters deck and hand." Bastion said impressed by how well prepared Sean is.

‘He used one of the oldest, most well-known effect monsters in the game. Let’s suck his cock some more.’

'Thats not the only thing in his deck anyone dueling him needs to worry about.' Alexis thought with a grin.

"Now then I play monster reborn thats on my field and bring back man eater bug. Next I play cost down which lets me summon a monster with a higher level easier to the field and the monster I'm summoning is another Assassin monster called the Assassin of courage in attack mode." Sean said as a female Assassin appeared.

Assassin of courage

Atk 2,500

Def 1,900

Goodie, another Assassin card. I enjoyed the first one so much, I couldn’t wait for another one…

"Unfortunately since I used magic cards to summon her using cost down I cant attack this turn. But I can at least inflict 500 points of damage by removing one card from my graveyard from play." Sean said as his Assassin of Courage threw a knife at Chazz and he grunted as it stabbed his left leg.

"You'll pay for that. I activate call of the haunted which lets me bring back my V tiger Jet. Next I play frontline base it lets me summon another level four or below monster and I summon W wing catapult in attack mode. Now I can merge them to VW tiger catapult.

VW Tiger Catapult

Atk 2,000

Def 2,100

"Ah crap." Sean said knowing what was coming.

"Now by discarding one card I can switch on monster to any position I want and I chose defense. Now attack his Assassin." Chazz said as the Assassin of courage was destroyed.

"Fuck." Sean said in annoyance.

"Now I summon X head cannon and use the ability of Frontline base to summon Z metal tank but wait I'm not done yet next i play my second call of the haunted and summon Y dragons head now I combine them to play XYZ Dragon cannon. But now I combine both my monsters to create the ultimate. VWXYS dragon catapult cannon!" Chazz said as the monsters combined.

I can’t believe this, this is just the duel between Jaden and Chazz, but with Sean in Jaden’s place!

VWXYZ Dragon Catapult cannon

Atk 3,000

Def 2,8000

"Now attack him directly!" Chazz said and Sean didn't even flinch when he was hit.

"Is that all?" Sean asked board making Chazz growl. "My turn." Sean said drawing his card and blinked before a small smirk made its way on his face.

"Whats with the look?" Chazz asked.

"I summon Assassins daughter in attack mode." Sean said as a little girl who looked 3 years old appeared in small robes with a smile knife in her hand looking innocent. All the girls squealed calling her adorable.




…please kill me.

Assassins daughter

Atk 500

Def 500

"Ha thats the best you can do well this proves your all bark and no bite." Chazz said.

'Thats what you think attack me and you'll see otherwise you fuck.' Sean thought with a hidden smirk.

"Go attack that brat!" Chazz said as his monster was about to hit her till the Assassin of Order appeared and blocked that attack. "WHAT!" Chazz said in shock.

"Now you've done it. By attacking the Assassins daughter her father comes to the field and heres the cool part his attack points are doubled." Sean said with a grin as the Assassin of order glared at the machine monster.

Assassin of order

Atk 6,000

Def 2,500

Well ain’t that dandy; when the little pipsqueak gets attacked, the assassin card gets summoned from the deck, with its already high attack stat doubled.

Has this author even played an actual game of Yu-Gi-Oh?

"Oh no." Chazz said in fear.

"Now go brutal slash." Sean said as his Assassin of order jumped and cut the machine in half leaving Chazz with only 500 life points left. "Now then Assassin's daughter attack." Sean said as the little Assassin threw her knife and out of all places hit the family jewels making everyone burst out laughing as his life points hit zero. Sean hit his chest with his fist.

"Game over." Sean said making Chazz growl.

'GRRRRR that brat is making me look like a fool every time he wins.' Crowler thought in rage.


Sean was looking over his cards more particularly his Assassin's daughter.

…Why are you focused on the card depicting a little girl? It’s creeping me out.

"You've been looking over those cards for hours what gives?" Alexis asked as she walked up to him.

"Oh nothing just grateful my dad asked Pegasus to have these cards made." Sean said putting them away.

"You know you never did tell me why he asked for those?" Alexis asked.

"Well our family has lived in Sparta since it was built we're one of the last royal families from its beginning." Sean said.

Sure, make him a Spartan Prince. Because why not?

"Really but that doesn't explain why he asked for them though." Alexis asked.

"I never really knew the reason why either he asked for them a month after I was born for some reason." Sean said before Jasmine and Mindy ran up to them.

"Hey you two want to head to the beach before it gets dark out?" Jasmine asked. Sean and Alexis looked at each other before they smiled.

"Sure why not I could go for a little break anyway." Sean said.



Sean and the girls were enjoying the beach mainly with them swimming. Sean failed to notice Jasmine vanished and yelped when he noticed something was missing.

"JASMINE!" Sean yelled making said girl pop up from the water with his trunks.

"Looking for these now?" Jasmine said making Mindy and Alexis blush and giggle.

"Give those back right now!" Sean said.

"Mmm no I'm good." Jasmine said before he dove underwater. "You can swim but you cant...HUH?" Jasmine yelped when she felt lighter. Sean emerged again and had her bikini bottoms and top. "AHHHHH!" Jasmine yelled in horror as she realized she was butt naked. Alexis and Mindy burst out laughing.

This is about as funny as having a spider, bite me on the balls.

"As the old saying paybacks a bitch." Alexis said through giggles.

"Hand over my trunks and you get your bikini back." Sean said.

"OK FINE!" Jasmine yelled throwing his trunks back at him and he handed her bikini to her back.

"Thank you." Sean said putting his trunks on.

"I cant believe you did that." Jasmine said in embarrassment blushing holding her chest till she squeaked when he put her over his shoulders having her legs held by his arms so she wouldn't fall.

"Hey you did it to me so its only fair I do the same." Sean said with a grin making her sigh but smiled since he didn't even get a look at her since the salt water would have burned his eyes.

"Just be lucky no one was around to see that." Alexis said making Jasmine blush.

"Let them try I'll do to them what I did to Missy." Sean said making them laugh.

Oh yeah, she’s the girl, whom you assaulted. I nearly forgot about that.


Sean was in his room looking at the mirror and still didn't like what he was seeing. To him seeing his face was a permanent reminder of his brother of what he's done to him for all those years. Sean growled and was about to punch the wall till Alexis softly grabbed his hand.

"Come on lets get your mind off your memories and check out the new game room." Alexis said not wanting him to hurt himself again.

Sean blinked in confusion.

"Game room?" Sean asked.

"What you really expect everyone here to be studying all day and week?" Alexis asked in amusement making him chuckle as he followed her.

Game room? I won’t deny the fact that the Obelisk Blue dorm could have such a luxury, but do we really need you to talk about your favourite video games.

Meanwhile at a prison in Sparta

A man with horrible burn marks on his face tapped his fingers on a desk till the cell opened and a hooded man walked in.

"You wanted to hire me?" The man asked.

"Yeah in two weeks I finally get out of this hell hole and then I'm getting some pay back on the one who put me here and ruined my life. I want you to send a message to him. He's on Duel academy." The man said showing a picture of Sean and the thug chuckled.

"My pay?" The thug said.

"A million dollars in jewels and make him suffer and you'll get extra if its in public view of the school." The burned man said.

Why not give him the money in notes instead? It’ll be a lot more convenient that handing him a shit load of jewels.

"Why exactly do you want this kid to suffer so much since I do need to see your reason." The thug asked.

"Simple my little brother took away my parents so its time he suffered as I have." The man revealing himself to be Freddy Kruger.

Freddy Kruger? The main villain of the Nightmare on Elm Street movies? What the fuck is he doing in a Yu-Gi-Oh fic? And why hasn’t he killed Sean in his sleep yet?!

I’m sorry if I sounded more angry than funny, but I hate this fic. The writing looks like fucking shit, the main character is a gigantic douchebag, with a broken deck, and the conflict is at a bare minimum. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I would rather be reading a Masked Rider Roy fic, than this trash. Roy can’t write for shit, but at least it doesn’t have the amateur stench that this fic has.

Until next time everyone.

List of mocks can be found here: Here

QUOTE (AnItalianGuy @ May 27 2016, 02:03 AM) *
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
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Post #4

Official Dr. Who nerd of 'Murica

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post Jan 16 2017, 11:30 PM
He even gets to share the pool with the girls?! How can the author not see the glaring problem with this?

Because he's typing with one hand, and he needs all his brain cells just to make sure he doesn't make to many typos.

I do have one thing I like about this fic though. The Greek cards may be complete and total overpowered bullshit, but at least they're well thought out.

Also thanks for explaining what you could about GX.

Technically, couldn't you kill a weeping angel by knocking it over with a stick? Seems like that would work as long as you kept watching it fall without blinking

Have you made your daily sacrifice to our Lord and savior Cthulu today?
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Post #5

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post Jan 17 2017, 07:10 AM

Oh wow! Where do I even start? The edgy self-insert that I bet eats frosted razor blades and drinks motor oil for breakfast? Getting a room in the girls' dorm? Behaving like an unstable, escaped asylum patient and getting only a slap on the wrist for it? Rare cards out of his ass? Motherfucking Freddy Kruger? By the way, it was very considerate of Freddy to scar him in a way that looks stylish/badass.

I do have one thing I like about this fic though. The Greek cards may be complete and total overpowered bullshit, but at least they're well thought out.

Seriously? "Well thought out"? The author probably skimmed the Wikipedia page on Sparta for five minutes before coming up with the "Ancient Greek" cards. And the Assassin's Creed ones are pure cringe, as GorillaGamer succinctly put it. Moreover, they suck monkey dick gameplay-wise. Otherwise, he wouldn't need to depend so much on overpowered flip-effect monsters, without mentioning everybody turns to an idiot when dueling this guy; especially Manjoume.

"Nope." Sean said. "True I've started both my duels since coming here with the same move twice but that doesn't mean its the same monster." Sean said.

"Whatever I play V tiger Jet in attack mode." Chazz said.

"Now attack." Chazz said as his monster attacked Sean's face down monster which to his shock revealed to man eater bug and it destroyed his monster. "What?" Chazz said in confusion.

"I told you it wasn't the same monster. Heres a common fact 90% of all monsters summoned face down always have a special ability its something you should know in life of duel monsters dumbass." Sean said making Chazz growl.

In show, Manjoume summoned VW-Tiger Catapult on his first turn, which has an effect that allows him to change the battle position of the opponent's monster without activating flip effects.

"Ha thats the best you can do well this proves your all bark and no bite." Chazz said.

'Thats what you think attack me and you'll see otherwise you fuck.' Sean thought with a hidden smirk.

"Go attack that brat!" Chazz said as his monster was about to hit her till the Assassin of Order appeared and blocked that attack. "WHAT!" Chazz said in shock.

VWXYZ-Dragon Catapult Cannon can banish one card your opponent controls, once per turn. Had he used that effect he would have won.

Nobody ever thinks strategically when dueling the guy. They just go ahead and charge like retarded goats.
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post Jan 17 2017, 09:38 AM
QUOTE (GorillaGamer @ Jan 17 2017, 01:36 AM) *
"Simple my little brother took away my parents so its time he suffered as I have." The man revealing himself to be Freddy Kruger.

Remember how Freddy Krueger was a Greek orphan who's parents died in a fire?

Also, he is dumb for not understanding synchros, but on the other hand, synchros are gay. So I'd rather they not be here either.

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Shillin' Best Girl from Fire Emblem: Echoes

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post Jan 18 2017, 10:15 PM
Dalekid@ No problem, happy to help.

Dashguy@ Oh wow! Your post really made my day. Thanks for notifying me, on just how bad the duel between Chazz and Sean was.

Truthordeal@ Hey man, don’t be dissing Synchro monsters while I’m around. Pendulum monsters, on the other hand, you can mock to your hearts content.

So since this chapter is longer than the author's usual fare, I won’t need to add Chapter 6 in the same post. Don’t worry though, there’s plenty of fail in this chapter.

Chapter 5 Death duel

Sean waking up finds Alexis on his chest in her nightgown. Smiling he kissed her head and got up without waking her and got into the shower so he could be ready for today since it was a weekend.

Unknown to anyone on the island a cloaked man had arrived and started planing out his employers orders to make his target suffer.

Sean got out of the shower and put on his regular cloths and walked out to see Alexis gone.

"Huh where did she go?" Sean asked.

"Boo!" Alexis shouted behind him making him jump.

"Not funny you almost gave me a heart attack." Sean said holding his chest making her giggle. "Holy crap." Sean said sitting down.

Dammit Alexis, you should have had Mindy and Jasmine join you, if only to give the fucker a heart attack.

"What did I really scare you that badly?" Alexis asked in amusement.

"Yes incase you forgot I've had to constantly look over my shoulder for danger. Whatever lets get moving I'd rather enjoy our weekend off for a change and not duel." Sean said as they left.

Meanwhile in the duel arena a man was setting up his equipment.

"Excuse me but what are you doing?" Crowler asked.

"Oh uh setting up something for the students to think on their feet ma'm." The man said making Crowler growl in anger.

"I'M A MAN YOU IDIOT!" Crowler yelled making the man blink before nervously laughing.

What’s this, another joke about Dr. Crowler’s appearance?

Stop it author, I cannot take the hilarity!

"Sorry my bad wont happen again sir." The man said as Crowler stomped off not seeing the sadistic smirk on the mans face. "Idiot once I'm done with that brat I'll be far away from this island living in the Bahamas with some trophy wife." The man said as he sets up his trap.

So this faceless thug want to score himself a wife and live the good life in the Bahamas? Are you sure that’s not an excerpt from your diary, author?


Alexis was looking over some of her plans on her phone till someone approached her.

"Excuse me miss could you help me with something real quick I'm having some trouble with putting something together for the duel arena." The man said.

"Uh sure what do you need help with?" Alexis asked following him.

"This!" The man said putting a cloth over her mouth making her yells and screams muffled and went limp as she was knocked out from a sleeping drug he sprayed on it. The man smirked seeing his big plan was almost finished. "Now for the final piece." The man said carrying Alexis's limp body to the duel arena.

You got your wife, now you need the plane ticket.


Everyone on the island was in the duel arena. A huge cover was on the arena that was covering something big.

"Sir who are you exactly?" Shepard asked.

"Oh I'll explain that soon but first wheres Sean Ashburn Kruger?" The man asked as Sean walked up to him.

"Right here do need me for something?" Sean asked politely. The man smirked.

"Yes you see your going to be dueling for your life!" The man yelled shoving Shepard and Crowler off the arena and a huge metal cage came out of the ground that prevented anyone from coming in.

"Hey what gives?" Sean said in anger.

"Simple you duel me and you get to go free but when you lose you'll die." The man said making everyone gasp in horror.

Now I want the obviously evil guy to win. In fact, I’m betting $1,000 that this guy demolishes Sean…

"What in the hell makes you think I'll duel you?" Sean asked glaring at him making the man burst out laughing.

"Simple to save her." The man said as the cover came off and to Seans shock and anger Alexis fully awake was strapped down to a table and above her was a giant saw blade. Alex screamed through the rag in her mouth in fear.

Ah, now I get it. Freddy must’ve hired Jigsaw to do his dirty work. The giant saw blade tipped it off for me.

"YOU!" Sean yelled in rage about to charge at the man till he held up a remote.

"Ah ah ah do anything to me and I press this button and the saw blades will turn on and cut her in half." The man said mocking him Sean growled in pure rage and looked to Alexis who was crying in fear as she struggled to get free.

"Fine but when this is over you'll be nothing but a blood stain on the floor when I'm done with your sorry ass." Sean said as he pulled out his duel disk and his deck.

"This is not acceptable stop this at once!" Shepard yelled trying to get in but there wasn't enough room.

"Sorry old man but nothing you do will stop me." The man said.

“The author must have his penis stroked. You may as well sit there and be his cheerleader.”

"You cant do this!" Jaden yelled as everyone tried to get in and help.

"I can and I will" The man said.

"Whats your name?" Sean asked.

"Well I'm not going to give you my real name but call me Jack." The man now temporarily named Jack said.

Allow me to correct myself. This guy is Jack, the inbred, idiotic cousin of Jigsaw.

"Lets Duel!" The both said.

Sean's life points 4,000

Jack's life points 4,000

"Your going to pay for this. I play a monster face down then I play three cards on the field." Sean said ending his turn.

"Is that all? What a pity I summon celtic guardian in attack mode and attack your face down monster." Jack said as his celtic guardian attacked.

Celtic guardian

Atk 1,400

Def 1,200

"Not so fast I activate magic cylinder which redirects your attack back at your life points." Sean said as Jack's attack hit him instead and to everyones confusion the floor electrocuted him painfully.

"What the hell?" Sean asked.

"You got me good but now I'm done playing it easy on you." Jack said.

No face down cards? Not even a spell card to disrupt your opponent’s strategy? No wonder Jigsaw never lets you help him.

Sean's life points 4,000

Jack's life points 2,600

"Its my turn again and I play my face down card." Sean said as the card to Jack's shock was destiny board.

"WHAT?" Jack said in shock.

"I have every rare card known to man so no matter what you draw you wont beat me.

Thank you for revealing the fact that you’re never going to lose a duel.

Now Every time your turn ends I get to place another spirit card to my field till I have all five and then you know what happens." Sean said making Jack growl. Sean drew his card and smirked right now he had over a few ways to win this fast and save Alexis. He had three pieces of Exodia in his hand and Destiny board on the field.

Sean looked to Alexis who was give him a fearful expression on her face.

'Don't worry Alexis I'm not going to lose you.' Sean thought as he ended his turn.

"I don't think I really need to worry about your destiny board since I sacrifice my monster to Summon Jinzo in attack mode and play a card face down." Jack said as Jinzo appeared.

Hey Jinzo, taking a vacation from being Joey’s monster?


Atk 2,400

Def 1,500

"Jinzo destroy his trap cards." Jack said as Sean's destiny board was destroyed.

"Shit." Sean said as he lost his board card.

"Now attack his face down monster." Jack said as Jinzo attack and it was a man eater bug and was destroyed from its effect. "Damnit!" Jack said in anger.

"You really are a piece of shit. I might have lost my destiny board for now but I've got ways to bring it back to my hand. Now then since Man eater bug destoyred your monster I can sacrifice it to summon my Olympian defender in defense mode." Sean said as a monster appeared with a large shield.

Wrong! Man-Eater Bug should have been destroyed from Jinzo’s attack. I’ll grant you the fact that Jinzo gets destroyed, but that doesn’t mean the attack gets negated.

In general, you shouldn’t be able to summon your stupid Olympian monster.

Olympian Defender

Atk 1,500

Def 3,000

"Try and get past that." Sean said.

"Who said I needed monster cards to get to your life points." Jack said as he drew his next card and smirked. "I play card of Demise which lets me draw five cards but if I don't use them in five turns I lose them

Actually, regardless of how many of the cards you use, you’ll end up having to discard your entire hand after five turns.

but most of them will take you down a notch I play three spell cards which damage your life points directly. Tremendous flame which deals 1,000 life points to you Ookazi which takes away 800 life points and then I activate final flame which does 600 damage making you lose 2,400 life points." Jack said as his attack carried out and Sean screamed in pain as he was electrocuted by the field and to his and everyones horror the saw blade turned on and neared Alexis and she screamed in fear.

Isn’t it ironic that a man hired by Freddy Kruger, used three spell cards that not only deal effect damage, but have some reference to fire?

Also, am I the only one who smirked at seeing Sean in agonizing pain?

"What are you doing!" Sean yelled in anger.

"Oh did I forget to mention everytime you lose life points the saw blade gets closer to her till she's cut in half when your life points hit zero." Jack said laughing.

Sean's life points 1,600

Jack's life points 2,600

Sean growled as he stood up getting his strength back and looked back at Alexis as she cried in horror and thrashed around.

"Come on please." Sean said as he drew his next card and felt relived when he saw another piece of Exodia. He had all the arms and legs now he just needed the head to win and save Alexis.

He’s going to summon Exodia. I can smell it from here.

"I play my next face down pot of greed which lets me draw two cards." Sean said drawing two cards and saw he had a mirror force card and a Dian Keto the cure master. "I play the spell card Dian Keto the cure master which gives me 1,000 life points back." Sean said as his life pints when up to 2,600 and to his relief the saw blade above Alexis went back up. "Next I play one card face down." Sean said.

"Whatever once I've beaten you my employer will be most pleased with my work." Jack said drawing his card and smirked. "I play Ameba in attack mode and now I play Soul exchange and by doing this I activate Ameba's effect which results in 2,000 points of damage to you." Jack said as Sean screamed in pure pain as he was electrocuted and everyone screamed in horror as the saw blade got even closer to Alexis who thrashed in total fear. Sean stopped screaming and fell down to his face to the floor making Jack laugh in satisfaction.

Can’t blame him for finding this funny.

'I don't think I can do this.' Sean said trying to draw the last card he needed to save Alexis but his deck seemed to move away. 'The deck senses my doubt I cant do this.' Sean thought before someone grabbed his shoulder and to his shock it was his parents.

"Dad? Mom?" Sean asked.

"Its alright Sean I know you can do this remember who your fighting for." His father said as an image of Alexis appeared in his head.

"She needs you Sean don't lose hope no matter what we will always be watching you and be proud of you." His mother said before they vanished.

Goodie, I was waiting for the cliché, where the dead parents give their cursed spawn the motivation he needs to win the duel.

"I cant give up I promised Alexis I'd always protect her!" Sean yelled as he opened his eyes.

(Insert Yugioh Exodia theme song here)

Hey, spoilers!

And no, I will not insert that bit of music. It’s far too good for this trash.

"Just end this already boy you've lost and soon both of you will be dead." Jack said but to his and everyones Shock Sean stood up in defiance ignoring his pain and had a fire of will and determination in his eyes. "Just draw your last pathetic card so I can end this and get paid." Jack said.

"My dads deck has no pathetic cards Jack." Sean said with a smirk as he drew his next card and grinned. "But it does contain...The unstoppable Exodia!" Sean said shocking Jack and everyone in the arena as Sean placed all five pieces of Exodia on the field and the seal to Exodia appeared and he came through glaring at Jack in rage.

"EXODIA its not possible you couldn't have!" Jack said in fear.

"EXODIA OBLITERATE!" Sean yelled as Exodia destroyed Jack who screamed in terror and pain as his life pints hit zero and was shocked horribly.

(End song here)

Well what do you know, it’s identical to the scene in the anime, where Yugi summons Exodia, and defeats Kaiba.

Oh and fuck you Sean! You made me lose my $1,000 dollars! I was going to use that money to buy a sweet body pillow, depicting my luscious Lusamine, that I found online, but now I can’t. Thanks a lot, dickhead!

The saw blade above Alexis turned off who was breathing heavily but calmed down when it stopped. Sean on shaky legs came towards her and got her restraints off and the rag out of her mouth and she engulfed him in a hug crying tears of joy happy that they were both were alive and in one piece.

"Thank you." Alexis said in his chest as he refused to let him go. The others managed to finally get the cage down and rushed to them just as Sean collapsed from all the electrocutions he's had from this duel. Jack was taken away by the security while Sean was taken back to the girls dorms to heal up.

Up above the arena Zane watched the whole thing and when Sean looked like he was out was about to step in but stopped when Sean got the strength to pull through and summon one of the most powerful monsters in the game.

"Hmm so his deck is filled with other cards not just Greek kind and somehow got the strength and determination he needed to Save Alexis. I'll give him credit he knows when to get serious he might just be better then me." Zane said impressed.

Sure, go ahead and suck the dick of the guy that stole my money.


Sean was in his room being looked over by Fontaine.

"He's allright just exhausted from his duel. The schools classes are going to be put on hold for a week or so to make sure nothing else happens." Fontaine said as she left while Alexis Jasmine and Mindy stayed behind.

"Who would hire someone to do this to both of you?" Jasmine asked as Sean slept.

"Not to me just him. Someone wants him to suffer for something and I'm willing to bet it was his brother." Alexis said clinching her fists in anger that his brother would go this far just to get to him.

In case you’ve forgotten, his brother’s motherfucking Freddy Kruger! Of course he would do something like this.

"But I thought Sean's brother was in prison." Mindy said as Shepard and a few of the others walked in.

"I'm afraid thats no longer true. Freddy Krueger was released over two days ago from his cell but Authorities have no leads on his whereabouts. So for the time being the school will be given extra security from Sean's home country till Freddy is found." Shepard said.

"Man this bites why did they let him out in the first place?" Jaden asked.

"Freddy got off on the insanity plea instead of getting the chair like he was originally supposed to and he had made some powerful friends in its government that thought that the charges he had were over extreme and was giving a 6 year sentence instead." Banner said.

So Freddy’s managed to gain political influence, when he’s not busy killing kids in their dreams.

To be brutally honest, I would have voted Freddy for president, over Hillary and Trump.

"Thats not fair." Syrus said.

"Life isn't always fair Syrus." Zane said walking in.

"Zane?" Syrus said in surprise.

"His brother will do anything to get to him even if he has to get involved himself and given how this ended he might just do it or hire someone else." Zane said as Sean woke up and removed the wires attached to his chest.

"Whoa easy now." Alexis said.

"Wheres that punk?" Sean asked.


Sean entered the detention area.

"Your not authorized..." Was a far as the security guy said before Sean threw him out the door where the others were when they followed him.

Go ahead and attack the guy who was just doing his job.


"Oh boy he's pissed." Jasmine said as Sean tore the door off of Jacks cell who trembled in fear as Sean grabbed him by the neck.

"Your going to answer my questions and if you lie or I don't like the answer I tear off a limb understood?" Sean said.

"Piss off." Jack said and screamed in agonizing pain as Sean pulled off his left arm with a vicious tug.

"Whoa!" Jaden said in shock.

Whoa indeed. When the fuck did Sean gain this much power?!

"Has he lost it?" Mindy asked in fear.

"Now answer me who hired you?" Sean asked glaring at the man.

"Take a guess." Jack said mocking him and yelled again when his left leg was pulled off. "ALRIGHT IT WAS Freddy Kruger!" Jack yelled in fear.

"How did he pay you?" Sean asked.

"In jewels a million dollars said id get paid extra if I made you suffer more if others watched." Jack said and yelled again as Sean pulled off his right leg. By now a pool of blood was on the ground.

I can’t breathe! The author is attempting to make this scene serious, by having his self-insert rip a few limbs off of someone, but all it does, is make the scene look cartoonishly hilarious! Holy shit, this is funny as fuck.

"Last question where is he?" Sean asked tightening his grip.

"I don't know he said he contact me after I won the duel but that wont happen now." Jack said till his phone rang and with his right arm he picked it up and answered it. "Yes?" Jack said in a shaky voice.

"You failed me." Freddy Kruger said from the other line.

"Give me that." Sean said taking the phone. "Listen to me you piece of shit you can come after me all you want but NEVER hurt my friends or I will make your life a real living hell Freddy." Sean said in an enraged voice.

"HMPH you don't scare me little brat and the next time we meet again your little friends will be seeing your dead corpse bleeding on the ground when I kill you."

Or better yet, invade his wet dream and castrate the fucker.

Freddy said hanging up and Sean crushed the phone in his hand and punched Jack hard in the face and stormed off.

"Oh dear this wont end well." Banner said.


Sean was looking over his deck till he heard someone knock on his door.

"Come in." Sean said and Alexis came in.

"Hey you ok?" Alexis asked on concern.

"I'm the one who should be asking you that since I put you in that position hours ago." Sean said not looking up from his cards.

"It wasn't your fault like you said before your brother would do anything to get to you." Alexis said sitting down next to him.

Your right, it’s not his fault. It’s Dragonlord0’s fault for turning you from a strong duelist, to a damsel in distress, for the author to save, so he can get his jollies off.

"I know thats why it was my fault if..." Was as far as Sean got before she shocked him by pulling him into a kiss.

"Just shut up and listen." Alexis said holding his face in her hands. "No matter what happened it wasn't your fault. We're both alive and safe thats all that matters to me." Alexis said pulling him into another kiss. Sean held her close till she pushed him down.

"What the...?" Was as far as Sean got before she took off his shirt and pants leaving him in camouflage boxers making her giggle. "What are you laughing at now?" Sean said pulling off her top and showed she had no bra on. "Tsk tsk how naughty young lady." Sean making her giggle.

"Oh please like your complaining." Alexis said taking her skirt off and showed she had no underwear on making Sean smirk as she removed his boxers and she licked her lips seeing his large member.

Oh fuck me with a rusty knife, we’re reading a lemon?! I didn’t see any notification in the authors notes at the beginning!

"Oh wow." Alexis said before she burst out laughing as he tackled her down to her back and hovered above her with a grin as he enjoyed the sight of her nude body making her smile and blush pulling him into a love filled kiss.

"Your so beautiful Alexis." Sean said making her smile and held his face lovingly.

"Go ahead I'm ready." Alexis said making him nod and lined himself up at her core and rubbed his member on her sex making her moan and gasped as he plunged into her taking her virginity away and held back her pained scream as she held him close. Blood dripped out of her sex and she closed her eyes tightly. "It hurts." Alexis said in pain but held back her scream as pleasure soon replaced the pain.

Sean thrusted into her wet bleeding sex and heard her moan out his name repeatedly as he slammed into her sex and her breasts bounced with each thrust.

One thing that gets me with these lemons, is that the author usually refers to the female’s genitals, as ‘her sex.’ Why they do that, I’ll never know.

"Ah ah ah." She moaned out as she felt him hitting her womb with each great force and groaned out as she felt her first sexual release approach and pulled him into a kiss as she screamed into his mouth as they both came together and she moaned in absolute bliss as she felt his seed inside her womb. "So good." Alexis said as she kissed him again and fell down next to him as he held her close to his muscles chest. She couldn't help but smile when she looked at his seeing his kind forest green eyes and brown hair. She nuzzled into his chest as he turned out the lights and both fell asleep in each others arms.

That’s it?

That’s all there was to that lemon? I cannot believe I’m saying this, but SOVIETRUSSIAMAN, wrote better lemons than this trash. And that fucker got his splooge all over Nino’s face!

Welp, chapter’s done. The author won a duel, dismembered a Jigsaw knockoff, and blows his load into Alexis. I’m out of here, the author can stick the $1,000 up his ass for all I care!

List of mocks can be found here: Here

QUOTE (AnItalianGuy @ May 27 2016, 02:03 AM) *
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
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Post #8

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post Jan 19 2017, 05:11 AM
"Idiot once I'm done with that brat I'll be far away from this island living in the Bahamas with some trophy wife."

While smoking cigars made with tobacco harvested by slaves and rolled on the dried flesh of orphaned children. Honestly, if you're going to disregard subtlety, you might as well go all the way and try to make it funny. And while we're at it, are we really supposed to believe this guy arrived to Duel Academia and set up a cage, a system for electrocution and a table with a remote controlled saw without anybody besides Crowler asking who the hell he is and what the fuck he was doing there?

Christ on a pogo stick. This guy's deck is the biggest clusterfuck I've ever seen since Mykan Jaden! Did the author ever play the damn game? Hell, did he even watch the fucking show? Yami Yugi very clearly pointed the weaknesses of both, Exodia and Destiny Board, when he faced them. And Jack's deck is no better; what's the point of Celtic Guardian and Jinzo? Why not just make a stall/burn deck to fully exploit the whole "electrocution" thing? By the way, Ameba's effect activates when the control of the monster switches to your opponent, and Soul Exchange only allows you to tribute your opponent's monster to summon one of yours. It's like the author only read the card's name and thought "this will do".

"In jewels a million dollars said id get paid extra if I made you suffer more if others watched." Jack said and yelled again as Sean pulled off his right leg. By now a pool of blood was on the ground.

This is what happens when you hire a hitman made of plastiline.

"Ah ah ah." She moaned out as she felt him hitting her womb with each great force and groaned out as she felt her first sexual release approach and pulled him into a kiss as she screamed into his mouth as they both came together and she moaned in absolute bliss as she felt his seed inside her womb.

Did the author learn about sex from reading a Japanese porn comic? That's not how any of this works!
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Post #9

Shillin' Best Girl from Fire Emblem: Echoes

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post Jan 20 2017, 06:39 PM
Dashguy@ Trust me when I tell you, his deck becomes an even bigger clusterfuck…

Well with the presidential inauguration in process, people have been getting riled up. But regardless of whether you voted for Hillary, Trump, or Freddy Kruger, this fic still blows chunks.

So let's get mocking, as we delve into two more chapters of Yu-Gi-Oh: Chronicles of the Spartan Asshole.

Chapter 6 Truths revealed

Alexis woke up and to her disappointment Sean wasn't beside her but saw a note on the nightstand next to her. Stretching her body she picked it up and Sean wrote that he was in the game room to let off some steam.

"Well at least I know where he is." Alexis said quickly putting some clean cloths on that she had in here since she mostly stayed in here with him then in her own room when she wasn't studying.

You know, I was going to make a joke about Alexis being permanently attached to the authors crotch, but this fic made it for me.

Alexis made her way down to the game room.

"Oh my god!" Sean yelled in annoyance. Alexis giggled seeing he was playing a game of virtual mini golf.

"Wow you suck at this." Jasmine said.

"Fuck you." Sean said hitting the ball again and just as it went in the hole it bounced out. "FUCK!" Sean yelled stomping on the ground making everyone laugh.

What a little bitch…

"This is why I hate golf in general." Sean said hitting his ball again and it went past the hole. "NOOOOO!" Sean yelled taking off his helmet and slammed it down without breaking it. "Thats it I quit fuck this shit!" Sean said.

Oh, I’m sorry that golf is too complicated for you. I’m sorry that it doesn’t involve banging chicks and crushing duelists with the intelligence of a lobotomized turkey. I’m sorry that you’re up against a nerfed Freddy Kruger, who inexplicably became a Spartan.

Get over it, you cry-baby!

"Oh wow you really have a worse temper in golf then anything else." Alexis said making him blink not seeing her come in.

"Lets see you try without getting pissed off." Sean said making her shrug and put the helmet on. To Sean's shock she got a hole in one each time. Alexis took off the helmet and grinned. Sean just looked at her. "Fuck you." Sean said making her burst out laughing.

"Well I guess dueling is the only thing here your the best at." Alexis said.

Well when your opponents make stupid moves all the time, it isn’t hard to be “good” at dueling.

"Really? I would think last night there would be more." Sean said making her blush and he chuckled in amusement.

"Speaking of which we need to talk about something." Alexis said.

"Oh yeah about what?" Sean asked.

"Well your from another country one that actually allows anyone to have more then one wife or lover right?" Alexis said making Sean's eyes widen.

"Your not actually suggesting I actually have a harem are you?" Sean asked in disbelief since she wasn't from his country so he was sure she would find it repulsive.

Did Ancient Sparta actually have harems? Hold on a minute…

*intense researching session*

I couldn’t find anything indicating that harems were prevalent in Sparta. Must be some bullshit the author made up…

"Hey I'm not the only one who has the same feelings for you besides this way you wont be so alone." Alexis said holding his hands.

"Are you sure your ok with this?" Sean asked.

"Yeah sure besides think of it as a way to calm down you temper." Alexis said making him groan making her giggle since that last part was a joke.

"Alright fine just so long as its not some random girl." Sean said as they left.

“Only named pussy is worthy of my Spartan cock!”


"Hey Sean wait up." Jaden said.

"Let me guess you want another duel right?" Sean asked.

"Of course I do what else is there to do here?" Jaden asked.

"Sorry Jaden I cant Fontaine said not to duel for the next few days till I'm fully recovered from yesterdays death duel." Sean said.

"Aww man." Jaden said making Sean chuckle in amusement.

"Excuse me Alexis Jaden. Chancellor Shepard would like a word with you." Banner said.

I’ve heard of Alexis, and I certainly know of Jaden.

But I have no idea who this Alexis Jaden fellow is…

"And me?" Sean asked.

"No just head back to your room for now to rest he only requested them and a few others." Banner said.

Minutes later

Everyone Shepard had asked for was in his office which were Zane Syrus Jaden Alexis Chumley Banner Crowler and Bastion.

"So whats this about?" Zane asked.

"This is about what happened yesterday. As you already know Freddy has made it his ambition to end Sean's life but theres more to it then simple anger." Shepard said.

"What do you mean what other reason does he have Sean already said it was because he blamed him for their parents death." Alexis said.

"Yes thats true but now that their gone the wealth they have goes to however they left it to in their will and that would be him. However Freddy can claim it if Sean is beaten in a duel." Shepard said shocking and angering them.

That’s it then?

That’s all Freddy’s scheme is about. Winning the inheritance that Sean received from his parents, as opposed to the misguided revenge that the fic originally presented.

Talk about a major downgrade. What the hell did Freddy do, to warrant such a fate in a shitty fanfiction, which was originally about Yu-Gi-Oh GX?!

"So all of this is about money!" Jaden said.

"More then you could imagine Jaden. However Freddy also wants to take something away from him that was sealed inside of Sean the day he was born. You see Sean is what many would call in Greece an Oracle." Shepard said.

"Whats an Oracle?" Bastion asked.

"An Oracle in Greece is someone gifted by Olympus given great and dangerous power. There hasn't been one in thousands of years Sean is the first in so long that he was given special treatment. Freddy saw it and knew he would be cut out of the family will so he tried to convince their parents to split it but this made things worse for him since he was kicked out of the will due to this. Then they died and you can guess the rest. Freddy wants to take that power but he cant since its bonded into Sean's soul forever nothing can remove it." Shepard said.

So not only do we learn that Freddy got kicked out of the will, due to protesting about the special treatment that Sean was receiving, but we now know that Sean is gifted with great power, for some unknown reason.

If this was all a scheme from the author, for us to sympathize with Freddy, then it works.

"Then why didn't he use that power yesterday?" Crowler said finding the whole situation ridicules.

Thank you for voicing my sentiments, Dr. Crowler.

"He cant he doesn't even know about it himself at least not yet. He isn't ready for such power due to his temper getting the better of him." Shepard said before they all heard a pained scream coming from the duel arena.

"Oh what now!" Jaden said as they rushed towards the arena.

Minutes before

Sean was in the arena till he felt a presence and like last time a cage was over the arena again.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Sean said in annoyance and something struck his neck. "OW!" Sean yelled in pain as something was injected into him.

"So your the next Oracal are you?" A male voice said making Sean sigh.

"So thats what this is about Freddy wanting that power for himself?" Sean asked. He already knew about his status as an Oracle due to his friends in the government.

That brings up another point, if Freddy has all this political power, then why does he want Sean’s money?

Sean felt a great pain in his neck and started thrashing in pain.

"Lets see what your true form is now boy." The voice said as he injected a vile of something into his neck that transform Sean into his Oracle form.

"AHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHH!" Sean yelled in agonizing pain just as the others came in.

"Oh not again." Alex said as they tried to get in.

"Stay out of this you worms." The man said as Sean's body started to catch on fire before a swirl of fire engulfed him.

"SEAN!" Alexis yelled as she tried to get through. All of the school saw and gasped by what they saw next. Standing where Sean once was, was a flaming skeleton in black leather jeans and a black leather jacket with spikes coming out of the shoulders and gloved hands with spikes coming out of its gloves the flaming skeleton roared at the man who had a customized duel disk on his left arm and had a mask of some sorts and was covered in black clothing.

Wait a minute…this sounds familiar. Give me a minute.

*Another intense research session*


"So this the power your brother wants interesting." The man said. Sean approached pointing at the man.

"Your going down shadow duelist" Sean said in a demonic voice which frightened many of the students.

"We shall see even if I fail there are others who your brother has hired to defeat you and payed most handsomely. For now you may call my Titan but soon you will be calling me your end maker." Titan said.

"DUEL!" They both said. Sean's duel disk was bone like and flaming.(Do I really need to say what form he's taking here?)

You don’t. And fuck you for putting in that pointless parenthesis!

"My turn I summon a monster in defense mode and play this Final countdown. By giving up half my life points if the duel is not over in 20 turns you lose the duel. Now I play two Cure master cards to gain my life points back then activate card of sanctity which lets me draw till I have six cards in my hand then I play three cards on the field." Sean said.

Final Countdown…on top of Destiny Board and Exodia.

Why am I even surprised anymore?

"Whoa not even three turns into the duel and already he's played a good hand." Jaden said.

"Is that all my turn and I play..." Was as far as Titan got before.

"Not so fast I activate a magic card. Ancient sacrifice. This allows me to look at your hand and gives me the option of removing a card you have to the graveyard." Sean said making Titan scowl as Sean picked his Pandemonium card which would have let him keep his archfiend monsters out without paying life points. "Next I'm allowed to take an olympian card from my deck if the card was a magic card and add it to my hand." Sean said as he picked a card.

Well ain’t that overpowered? Not only do you get to see your opponent’s hand, and send a card to the graveyard, you get to add an Olympian card to your hand, provided that the card you sent to the graveyard was a spell card.

Do I need to point out the problem here?

"GRR I end my turn." Titan said.

"And it may be your last next I activate this sisters of fate which accelerates the time making it appear as if 15 turns have passed meaning you only have four more turns before Final countdown takes its effect and ends the duel." Sean said making Titan look nervous and fearful.

As far as I know, this Sisters of Fate card doesn’t exist. Then again, the only card that would benefit from it, is Final Countdown.

Well there is the Cocoon of Evolution, but be honest with me. Who uses that garbage?

"Now then I activate my face down card swords of reviling light which prevents you from attacking for three turns. Then I play cost down so I can sacrifice my monster morphing Jar to summon this my legendary Assassin of order and activate the magic card brothers in arms which lets me summon my olympian card I picked and I summon Ares the god of war." Sean said as both monsters appeared and looked more frightening then ever.

Assassin of order

Atk 3,000

Def 2,500

God of war

Atk 3,500

Def 3,000

Titan looked terrified as he now had two god monsters against him.

Bitch, Obelisk the Tormentor would crush those pathetic monsters! And putting your shitty assassin on the same pedestal as the Greek God of War, is the most insulting thing I have ever seen.

"Whoa Sean isn't holding back this time." Alexis said looking at the man she loved with curiosity. Sean looked to her and the flames died down a little before resuming their intense heat.

"I play three cards face down and summon a monster in defense mode." Titan said.

'Not much else I can do unless I get rid of that final countdown and those olympian cards I'm done for.' Titan thought in worry.

And none of those facedown cards could have helped you, not lucky spell that would wipe the opponent’s field clean?

…I’m starting to realize just how pointless, mocking these duels are.

"Disappointing three more turns and your done. I play the field spell mount Olympus the kingdom of the gods and this allows me to summon one olympian per turn and I summon Athena the goddess of wisdom." Sean said as the female god appeared and glared at Titan.


Atk 3,200

Def 2,800

"Oh wow thats three olympian cards he's played he really isn't playing this time." Jaden said.

Summoned via a broken field spell, nonetheless. It makes me wonder, just what levels these monsters are, since all we get are ATK and DEF points. We don’t even know if they have an effect or not!

"Um I play another monster in defense mode and end my turn." Titan said stuttering.


"How weak two turns left and your a goner from this world. I play another olympian but this is only half Perseus the son of Zeus." Sean said as a man with a helmet sword and shield appeared.


Atk 3,300

Def 3,000

Many of the students cheered that he had very powerful monster out on the field.

"Awesome theres no way he can lose now." Jaden said.

"Ugh no this cant be." Titan said in fear as four gods glared at him. He drew his next card and gulped as he had nothing that could stop anything Sean had.

"Your doom is at hand this is the last chance you have. I summon a warrior who's power matched that of the gods Achilles!" Sean said as a powerful man appeared next to the Assassin of order and glared at Titan.


Atk 5,000

Def 4,000

(Hey from what I've read this guy was badass that impressed the gods greatly back in the day)

I don’t care how much of a boner you have for Achilles. What I will point out, is that his stats are HIGHER than the Greek Gods, he impressed.

Surely this card has a major weakness, what with it being Achilles and all…

Titan was paralyzed in fear he had five monsters looking down on him.

"I cant lose like this I wont." Titan said as he ended his turn. Juts as he did the effects of Final countdown occurred and engulfed the field in flames and Titan screamed in fear.

Sean walked over to Titan but someone pushed him against the cage.

"Go now!" The second man said. Titan threw a smoke bomb on the ground and made his escape. The second man was bald and looked demon like. "You aren't so tough." The man said throwing him at the other side of the cage as it was covered in smoke.

Who the fuck is this tool? Just how many thugs did Freddy hire?

"This isn't fair he won the duel!" Jaden said as they tried to get in and help.

The second man tried to find Sean but couldn't till a hand was on his shoulder.

"Hey dirt bag!" Sean said as he punched the second man hard in the face and the smoke cleared. Sean pulled out a chain and it glowed red hot as the second man trembled.

"Have mercy!" The man said in fear.

"Sorry all out of mercy!" Sean said as he swings the chain around till it wrapped around the man who screamed in pain as something happened.

Hey, that’s the exact phrase I gave, when this fic begged me not to mock it.

"HELP ME!" The man yelled as his body turned to stone before Sean yanked the chain and his body turned to pieces. The cage went back up and Alexis slowly walked over to him. Sean looked away from her.

"Monster." Sean said.

"I'm not afraid of you now and I never will be." Alexis said as she placed a hand on where his cheek would be and Sean turned normal again before falling on his knees trying to catch his breath.

Of all the pairings that I’ve seen in fanfiction, Alexis Rhodes and Ghost Rider has to be one of the strangest…

"This is seriously getting out of hand." Sean said as Alexis and the others helped him up.

It was clear Freddy would stop at nothing to get what he wanted.

We’re are now deep into the authors rabbit hole, with no way of going backwards. The author has written a Yu-Gi-Oh GX harem fic, where his self-insert is Ghost Rider, who uses a deck based off of Greek Mythological figures, as well as Assassin’s Creed, and is the brother of a money hungry Freddy Kruger. This is the sort of shit that would warrant a person a one-way trip to the looney bin.

Only thing to do now is to go to the next chapter.

Chapter 7 last Death duel

Sean groaned as he was strapped to a bed to make sure he couldn't get away.

"Is this really necessary?" Sean asked Alexis.

"Hey every time you head out you always end up in a death duel so yes it is." Alexis said making him groan.

"Ok screw this." Sean said lighting his hands on fire of his oracle form and got up.

"Hey sit down." Alexis said.

"Look even if I don't get out of here they'll still come for me so theres no point." Sean said making her sigh seeing his point.

Making this exchange, entirely pointless!


Sean looked around the campus just to get some fresh air.

"Well look what I found my prey." A male voice said making Sean sigh in annoyance.

"Really again?" Sean asked in annoyance.

"Your brother has paid a very high bounty for your dead body though I am the last of the death duelists on the island but unlike them I will not fail." The man said revealing himself.

If Freddy has all this money, then why does he want Sean dead?

Revenge? That motive was thrown out the window. Money? Freddy clearly has enough to live comfortably, if he’s offering millions of dollars to kill this bastard. Power? What would Freddy gain from being able to turn into Ghost Rider. The LOLs? Now that seems accurate.

"You may call me Abigor the wind of death." Abigor said revealing him to be demon like. "And like all the others a view for the island." Abigor said as a great wind engulfed the island and everyone was in the arena again.

"No not again." Alexis said as a giant cage engulfed the arena.

"Are you kidding me where does that cage come from?" Crowler asked since this was the third time this has happened.

"Now we shall duel and you wont beat me like those last two fools." Abigor said before Sean laughed in amusement.

That’s just setting yourself up for failure, Abigor.

You dumbfuck.

"I don't think so." Sean said as a fire engulfed him and he turned to his oracle form and roared at Abigor who looked slightly fearful. "Lets see you fight against me when I'm at full strength." Sean said in a demonic voice that frightened the students.

"So this is what your brother is after. Interesting but it doesn't matter to me since I'm only in this for the money. Now lets duel." Abigor said.

"DUEL!" The both said.

Sean's life points 4,000

Abigor's life points 4,000

"My draw and I summon a monster in defense mode and play five cards face down and activate one of them card of sanctity which lets us draw till we have six cards in our hands." Sean said drawing a full hand again in one turn which made many of the students cheer for a good first move.

Does the faceless crowd have to suck his dick, every time Sean makes a play?

"Next I play my face down card gift from Elysium which gives me 1,000 life points for every card in my hand which is six giving me a total of 6,000 life points to the 4,000 I have now." Sean said making the school cheer him on for such a good move.

"Wow talk about lucky draw he already has an edge in this." Alexis said.

You call it luck; I call it cheating.

Sean's life points 10,000

Abigor's life points 4,000

Abigor just laughed in amusement. "You think those life points scare me boy think again for now I activate this dark core which by sending one card from my hand I can remove any monster from the game and I chose your face down card." Abigor said revealing it to be a man eater bug. "Next I play this call of the haunted which lets me bring a monster back and I pick your so I can sacrifice it to summon, Summon Skull."

Call of the Haunted is a Trap Card, you idiot! Did the author even read the rule book that comes with every starter deck?

Abigor said as the Summon skull appeared. "Next I play heavy storm which destroys all face down cards on the field." Abigor said as the other three face down cards he had were destroyed. "Now I activate my megamorph spell card and equip it to my Skull now Attack lighting strike!" Abigor said as Sean lost 5,000 life points and roared in pain.

Summon Skull

Atk 5,000

Def 1,200

Sean's life points 5,000

Abigor's life points 4,000

"Aw man there goes his lead." Syrus said.

"Don't give up on him now Sy he still has chance." Jaden said before Sean started laughing like crazy.(Think of the laugh from the first Ghost rider movie)

I would find the clip that the author’s talking about, but I won’t. As shit as the Ghost Rider movie is, its miles better than this trash!

"Your a fool you activated my face down cards. Gargoyles of the underworld which when their destroyed they appear as tokens after the turn they were destroyed and I have three now which gives me enough monsters to sacrifice to summon a monster that rivals the Egyptian gods." Sean said shocking everyone.

"What card is talking about?" Jasmine asked Alexis.

"I don't know but from the way he was laughing it most be good." Alexis said.

"Now I sacrifice my three monster tokens to summon a monster of ancient Greece that Lord Hades created in ancient times to battle the titans. I summon the legendary KRAKEN!" Sean said as a giant portal appeared and giant tentacles appeared before saints clawed hands came out. The kraken appeared and looked like a giant mutation of great power that roared so loud the enter island shook in fear.(Picture the Kraken from clash of the titans the 2010 version)


Atk 10,000

Def 5,000

Why the fuck does it have that much ATK points?! Why does it need that much ATK points?! Why does this author’s duel writing skills suck so much?! Why did the author think that it was a good idea to write this fic? Why did the author have to take my money, preventing me from getting the Lusamine pillow I’ve been searching for?!


"Whoa thats thing is huge!" Jaden said.

"No I cant lose like this!" Abigor said as the Kraken roared and smashed his large clawed hand on his skull and his life points hit zero.

"You lose like all the rest of the fools my brother hired." Sean said before Abigor's body turned to air and flew towards him and tried to get out but couldn't.

"You cannot catch the wind boy!" Abigor said even if he lost the duel it didn't mean he couldn't still kill him. Sean growled and swings his chain around Abigor who noticed something was wrong. "What? NOOOO! NOOOO!" Abigor yelled as the chain heated up and started tearing his body apart piece by piece till he exploded into nothing. The cage vanished again and Sean collapsed having everyone rush to him.

I wish the fucker had died right there.


Sean slowly started opening his eyes.

"Hey looks who's up." Jaden said.

"Ow my head." Sean said in pain.

"Yeah you kinda fell on your head when you collapsed." Alexis said.

"Great well at least I don't have to worry about anymore of my bothers thugs since Abridger said he was the last of the thugs my brother hired here." Sean said sitting up and flinched from slight pain.

Maybe now, Freddy’ll get off his ass and actually do it himself!

"Ok I'm putting my foot down now you are not to duel again for a week are we clear?" Fontaine said giving him the death glare which made Jaden Syrus and Chumley shiver in fear while Sean just sighed.

"Its not my fault this keeps happening." Sean said.

"Well what if one of us duels for you using your deck?" Alexis said.

"Thats not possible." Sean said.

"Why not?" Alexis asked annoyed till he handed her his greek cards and looked through them and saw why. All of them are written in his language so no one can understand what they say. "Oh thats why." Alexis said.

"What is it?" Jaden said and saw they were in Greek not english.

In other words, they’re the author’s special cards, and nobody is allowed to touch them.

"All my greek cards are written in my countries language so no one but me here can read them." Sean said.

"What about your other cards?" Alexis asked.

"Same problem." Sean said.

"Great." Alexis said dryly.

"In any even now that the death duelists have now been taken care of..." Shepard almost finished.

YES! No more duels!

"Actually there is one more remember Titan escaped during his duel when another of the death duelists interfered." Banner said.


"Oh yeah thats right which means he's the last one." Jaden said.

"I don't think we'll be seeing him anytime soon since his duel against Sean terrified him to death not to mention every duel he wins they death duelists end up extremely injured or dead." Zane said.

"Don't be so sure after all with whatever amount of money my bother offered them he may be willing to risk it if he can get that money." Sean said standing up. "But I'm exhausted so I'm done for now." Sean said as he and the others left.

"Well now that your mostly out of danger how about we relax a little at the hot springs since you clearly need it." Jasmine said.

"Anything to help get my mind off the next duel." Sean said.

This fic keeps getting worse as we progress forward. I didn’t put in the authors notes for both chapters, but in both of them, he claims that the next chapter will feature the duel between Chazz and Bastion, only to substitute if for the Ghost Rider shit. He also promises us that Jasmine and Mindy will give Sean a show…

I can immediately feel my penis shrinking at the prospect.

List of mocks can be found here: Here

QUOTE (AnItalianGuy @ May 27 2016, 02:03 AM) *
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
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Post #10

Advanced Member

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post Jan 20 2017, 09:52 PM
QUOTE (GorillaGamer @ Jan 20 2017, 09:39 PM) *
Did Ancient Sparta actually have harems? Hold on a minute…

*intense researching session*

I couldn’t find anything indicating that harems were prevalent in Sparta. Must be some bullshit the author made up…

Sparta did not have harems as we are familiar with them, no. That is, the king did not have a horde of concubines or wives in his household.

They did, however, practice homosexuality and pederasty. Part of a young boy's education was being paired with an older master who would have sex with him. Bear in mind that in the ancient world, homosexuality was something you did, not something you were. This wasn't aberrant behavior.

Then why didn't he use that power yesterday?" Crowler said finding the whole situation ridicules.

Thank you for voicing my sentiments, Dr. Crowler.

"He cant he doesn't even know about it himself at least not yet. He isn't ready for such power due to his temper getting the better of him."

"So thats what this is about Freddy wanting that power for himself?" Sean asked. He already knew about his status as an Oracle due to his friends in the government.

"I don't think so." Sean said as a fire engulfed him and he turned to his oracle form and roared at Abigor who looked slightly fearful. "Lets see you fight against me when I'm at full strength." Sean said in a demonic voice that frightened the students.

What a crazy forbidden power he had no idea about. also lol ghost rider

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Post #11

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post Jan 21 2017, 05:34 AM

I don't know what to say. This story reads like a ten years-old kid grabbing his favorite snacks, from ice cream and chips to peanut butter and bacon, putting it all inside a blender and turning the speed up to eleven. Nothing makes a lick of sense.
"An Oracle in Greece is someone gifted by Olympus given great and dangerous power. There hasn't been one in thousands of years Sean is the first in so long that he was given special treatment. Freddy saw it and knew he would be cut out of the family will so he tried to convince their parents to split it but this made things worse for him since he was kicked out of the will due to this. Then they died and you can guess the rest. Freddy wants to take that power but he cant since its bonded into Sean's soul forever nothing can remove it." Shepard said.

An oracle is a priest/priestess that utters predictions, you dumb fuck. This shit right here, along with his poorly designed "Greek" cards, only reinforce my theory that the author merely took the names he deemed cooler and put them here without even bothering to read about them.


Even better, it's the Ghost Rider from the shitty Nicolas Cage movie. Just watch, the author basically copied these scenes.

As for the duels, well, they follow the same philosophy as the rest of the story. Grabbing the most powerful cards he could find and putting them all together regardless of synergy or having an actual strategy. Why does he need alternate win conditions when he has so many monsters with high attack power anyway?

"All my greek cards are written in my countries language so no one but me here can read them." Sean said.

Ah yes, Greek. That ancient language only a very select few in the world can read.
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Post #12

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post Jan 21 2017, 06:09 AM
Initially, this story just went through the motions of any other OC replacement protagonist fanfic out there. Now, it's utter chaos.
Freddy Kruger, Ghost Rider, bullshit Greek cards, ripping people's limbs off - its a wonder the author even thinks this makes sense.

"So... preparing to storm into the room, you jostle your badger, kick down the door, and throw it at the thug standing inside." - Moment from my D&D campaign.

Click here for more mocks: List O' Mocks
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Post #13


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post Jan 21 2017, 06:42 PM
This is just to crazy XD

Either you found a gold mine or a hole full of manure,

"Did you know that UnsavoryGlint is my old arse Xbox live profile name?, I keep it out of a odd respect for it (although it could due to the fact that its a euphemism for something nasty.)"
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Post #14

Shillin' Best Girl from Fire Emblem: Echoes

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post Jan 22 2017, 05:56 PM
Thank you for your comments everyone!

Truthordeal@ Thanks for clearing up the whole harem business. I never knew that the Spartans practised homosexuality.

Dashguy@ I’m surprised that he made that ‘Oracle’ slipup, knowing how obsessed he is with Greek mythology.

StabbyKobold@ Yes, I wonder how the author manages to think this entire clusterfuck makes sense. But then I realised that with all of you blood directed to your cock, anything would make sense.

UnsavoryGlint@ Hi there new member, welcome to the forums. And to answer your question, it depends on how you look at it. From a narrative point of view, this story is utter shit, but in terms of unintentional comedy, it’s a gold mine in that regard.

Here’s something juicy to sink your teeth into. In the reviews for this fic, there’s an author called Weeb that’s a Sheep, and they are ROASTING this fic. I highly recommend that you read their reviews, its more entertaining than this fic.

Chapter 8 promotion duel

Sean sighed as he sat in the hot springs water with Alexis Jasmin and Mindy.

"Wow he looks more stressed then I thought." Jasmine said as Sean seemed to take a small nap.

"Yeah these death duels are taking there toll on him its a miracle he's even able to stand." Alexis said.

Struggling you say? You do realize that you’re talking to the guy that has monsters with 10,000 ATK points in his deck.

"Well at least he wont have to worry about anymore duels for a while now." Mindy said.

"Well thats one thing thats good. Anyway I wanted to talk to you both about something real quick." Alexis said.

"If its about the harem we're in." Jasmine said making Alexis's eyes widen.

"How did you...?" Alexis tried to say.

"We overheard you about it yesterday and if it does help him we're in just so long as we're all treated fair and not sex slaves." Mindy said.

Given how vital you and Jasmine have been to the plot, being a sex slave would be an improvement.

While this was happening Sean had dozed off to sleep and was having a nightmare.

Sean's dream

Sean growled as a new death duelists made of water appeared and was about to slash Alexis who screamed till.

End dream

Oh no! Alexis’ shirt got wet. The horror!

Sean woke up with a gasp and breathed heavily as Alexis held his hand.

"Goddamnit I cant even take a few minutes sleep without having a death duel on my mind." Sean said taking a deep breath.

"Whoa take it easy it was only a dream." Alexis said.

"You really need to get your mind off these guys if it bothers you that bad." Jasmine said.

"I wish it was that simple. Freddy will keep sending his thugs till he has to confront me himself which considering how all three have failed might be soon." Sean said.

If Freddy Boy would confront you eventually, I have, but one question…

What type of deck would he use?


Sean sighed as he rested in his bed with Alexis who was only in her bra and thong.

"You really need to take your mind off all these death duels." Alexis said.

"I've tried before Alexis but its difficult besides those last two that were not exactly human were not after money." Sean said.

"What do you mean what are they after?" Alexis asked.

"Do you recall one of the stories I told you about a small village that was given deals by a stranger and then literally drowned in its own blood?" Sean asked.

No. this is the first time I’ve heard of such a thing. Is this more Ghost Rider shenanigans?

"Yeah what about it?" Alexis asked.

"That person who made the deals with them was the devil himself called Mephistopheles." Sean said shocking her. "The last Oracle went to the village to take the contract he made with he village out of his hands since the souls were so evil and dark he knew he couldn't let him have it and only my family knows where it is. The ones I've killed in that form are demons after the contract and more are on the way." Sean said remembering how his father told him this story a long time ago.

"So they're after a contract to gain power but why not simply just ask Freddy about where it is?" Alexis asked making Sean sit up and pulled something out of his bag and it was the contract.

"Because I have it with me. The only way they can acquire the contract is by defeating me in battle or in a duel since ancient magic is casted over it to protect it from them.

How awfully specific, yet convenient that the only way to acquire the contract is to beat this shithead in a duel. It’s almost like the author needed an excuse to have these powerful demons play a children’s card game.

Look I'll be right back I need some air." Sean said getting his jeans and t shirt on.

Sean walked outside and looked at the ocean feeling a little less stressed.

"I know your there Mephistopheles." Sean said turning around.

"I haven't seen you in over 6 years you've grown up rather nice." Mephistopheles said.

"How is it that Freddy is out of prison? We had a deal I give you two souls to get him caught and sent away." Sean said.

Two souls…you mean to tell me that you gave YOUR PARENTS SOULS, to who could be interpreted as the Devil, just to lock Freddy up?!

"The deal was that he was to get caught for those souls I have no control over how long he would stay besides there are some things I cant do. However the situation with the both of you has increased due to him hiring demons for the contract that you hold. Abigor lied to you saying he was the last one here and titan left the island. The last two are Wallow and Blackheart eliminate them and he'll come after you face to face." Mephistopheles said.

"Why am I not surprised. The last one from the sound of your tone tells me you want him defeated more then the others." Sean said making him growl demon like.

"Indeed Blackheart is unfortunately my son who seeks power he cannot understand. Defeat him and I can get Freddy to face you in person and end this conflict between the both of you for good this time." Mephistopheles said as he vanished.

Wait a minute, there was that wind demon, the water demon, and now we have the devil's son.

Dashguy was right, this cretin is ripping of the Ghost Rider movie.

"Sigh great." Sean said before he walked back to the dorms not knowing that the last two death duelists were watching him.

Sean entered the room and to his surprise Mindy and Jasmine were on the bed completely naked.

"Well this is a surprise." Sean said grinning.

"Lets just say they'll give us a little show since your not back up to speed for a little physical fun." Alexis said as she pulled him on the bed while the girls played with each other.

Yay, more lemons…

I wonder if this one’ll be as arousing as a piece of soggy wood.

Jasmine sucked on Mindy's breasts making her moan as she held her head close as if she was holding a baby to her breast. Mindy gasped as Jasmine bit down on her tit a little making her whimper slightly.

"Oh yes more." Mindy moaned out before pulling her off and did the same to her making Jasmine moan as well. Mindy getting a little more bold slides her hand down to her thighs and moves her hand around till she found her pussy and slides her fingers inside making Jasmine gasp and moaned in bliss.

"Mmm now isn't this exciting." Alexis said kissing his neck making him chuckle.

"Oh yeah this is what I needed." Sean said enjoying the show.

Fuck what you need! What I need is a bottle of bleach.

Jasmine pulled Mindy back and kissed her neck slowly making Mindy groan out a little before she gasped as Jasmine pushed her down and her right leg over her shoulder and pressed their sexes together and both moaned loudly before Jasmine bucked her hips forward making Mindy moan softly while she had her way with her.

Jasmine giggled a little enjoying the feeling of her pussy rubbing against Mindy's. Both of them gasped lightly before they both bucked faster together and quickly both pulled the other into a kiss to silence their screams of bliss as they came at the same time and went limp for a few seconds before all of them got back on the bed.

"We can show you what we can really do once you've fully recovered." Jasmine said as she kissed Sean's neck making him chuckle before all of them went to sleep.

How is it that you made LESBIAN SEX, unappealing?! No seriously, how do you do that?! It must take an author of monumental untalent, to be able to pull off such a feat.

Next morning

Sean was looking out at the sea feeling much calmer and relaxed then before since the girls little show.

"Thought I might find you here." Alexis said walking up to him with a smile.

"Looking at the ocean has always made me feel at ease I don't know why." Sean said. Just then they spotted Chazz with a deck in his hand. "Oh what is that punk doing now?" Sean said making her raise an eyebrow before she widened her eyes when he threw the deck into the water. Sean went down to check the cards out when he left and saw who's deck it was.

"You got to be fucking kidding me." Sean said annoyed.

And now we’re back onto the plot. Great…


"So he's the one who threw your cards into he ocean." Jaden said as he Bastion and Syrus ran into the arena where Crowler and Chazz were at.

"Pardon?" Crowler asked in shock.

"I don't know what he's talking about." Chazz said.

"Oh really?" Sean asked as he Alexis and Zane walked in. "We saw you Chazz you threw his cards into the ocean and ran off like a coward." Sean said glaring at him.

"Is this true Alexis?" Crowler asked.

"Oh yeah we saw it all." Alexis said.

"Oh come on who's to say I wasn't throwing away my own cards." Chazz said.

That’s…a valid point actually. In the episode, Bastion proved the cards were his, by pointing out the complicated equation written on the cards. Here, we get no mention of such equation.

"Cut the bull if theres one thing I cant stand are punks who trash things that aren't theres." Sean said getting up to the Arena. "Crowler how about I take Bastion's place till he can replace his deck." Sean said.

"Actually Sean that was just one of my different decks." Bastion said showing a vest with six different decks.

"Impressive always prepared but let me do this since I cant stand punks like this." Sean said.

Yeah Bastion, how dare you try to take the spotlight from the Spartan superhuman!

"If Crowler allows it." Bastion said.

"Well under normal circumstances I wouldn't but since Sean is an Obelisk why not." Crowler said allowing the duel.

"Fine then lets see what you got flame boy." Chazz said and gasped once Sean turned to his oracle form and roared at Chazz.

"Oh this should be good." Alexis said.

If by good, you mean terrible, then I agree with you.

"DUEL!" They both said

Both duelists life points 4,000

"I'll go first and I play this gift from Sparta this allows me to summon a level 8 or higher spartan monster and I choose my legendary King of Sparta Leonidas." Sean said as his monster appeared.

King Leonidas

Atk 3,000

def 3,000

Chazz growled seeing he already had a powerful monster on the field.

…Do I need to point out how broken his cards are? I’m beginning to turn into a broken record.

"Next I summon Spartan trainee in attack mode." Sean said ending his turn.

Spartan Trainee

Atk 1,000

Def 500

"Grrr I summon my Chthonian soldier in attack mode and lay down a face down." Chazz said. "Now Attack Spartan Trainee." Chazz said.

Hold on, what happened to the strategy Chazz used, where he summons three Chthonian Soldiers with Inferno Reckless Summoning, and powers up one of them with Chthonian Alliance?

Chthonian soldier

Atk 1,200

Def 1,400

Sean lost 200 life points but just laughed.

"Did you forget when he's destroyed I can summon another spartan card from my hand and I chose Spartan Captain in attack mode." Sean said as another Spartan appears.

Spartan Captain

Atk 2,000

Def 1,700

"Whoa he's not playing around." Jaden said.

"Next I play the card of Spartan origins. This allows me to summon the very god who people say Spartans descended from. HERCULES!" Sean said as a very muscled monster appeared and the other two Spartans bowed to him.

"Whoa what the?" Chazz said in shock.


Atk 3,500

Def 3,000

We’ve seen Ares, we’ve seen Athena, we’ve seen Hercules. When the hell is Zeus going to make an appearance?

"Time to end this I activate my captains ability which destroys all face down cards on your field if I have a spartan in my graveyard to remove from play." Sean said as Spartan Captain destroyed all the face down cards he had. "Now attack his soldier." Sean said as captain destroyed his soldier and even though he lost life points he won the duel as his king and god attacked him directly and Chazz screamed in fear as he was blasted off the arena. Sean turned back to normal and laughed a little.

"Ah that felt good." Sean said.

"Well done Sean now Bastion since Sean won the duel for you your herby promoted to Obelisk." Crowler said.

"No I must decline that invite." Bastion said.

"What? But what for?" Crowler asked confused.

"When I first arrived at the academy I promised I wouldn't advance to till I become the number 1 student in the freshmen class and of all the new students Jaden and Sean share that position." Bastion said.

“You mean I share number 1 with somebody?!” Sean growled under his breath.

"Really thanks so how about..." Jaden tried to say till Sean stared coughing a little.

"Oh come on really?" Sean said seeing blood on his hands.

"Ugh." Alexis said annoyed.


"What part of no dueling didn't you get?" Fontaine said annoyed.

"You said no death duels this wasn't one of them." Sean said before she hit him upside the head.

"Honestly you'll be the death of me here." She said as he and Alexis left.

Ah I see. Miss Fontaine has clearly been delegated to the ‘Tsundere’ of this fic…

"She is right you know." Alexis said.

"Alright I get it no more dueling for a while sheesh." Sean said.

And another chapter in the bag. I will warn you that the next chapter is embarrassingly short, barely breaking over a thousand words.

Chapter 9 Water death duel

Sean sighed in relaxation since he was back up to full strength. Much has happened in the last 2 weeks Chazz left the island after he was demoted and Jaden dueled a dueling monkey. Next some idiots from Obelisk unintentionally summoned the Jinzo spirit who would have taken their souls had he and Jaden not beaten him in a tag duel. Things have been much calmer as of late since the last death duel three weeks ago.

Thank you for not showing those events, otherwise I would have blown my brains out.

Sean was in the middle of dueling some dumbass who tried to force Alexis to be his Fiancé but...

"Ares attack flaming sword of war!" Sean said as his god of war let out his fierce battle cry and slashed the rich boys life points down to zero. Sean smashed his fist over his chest. "Game over." Sean said grinning while the rich punk ran off crying.

"Like I would ever marry him." Alexis said and smiled when Sean kissed her forehead.

Oh boy, looks like Sean beat up someone who had the gall to try and marry Alexis…

On that topic, I wonder how Kurogasa would react to seeing his crush dating Sean. Would the two shitheads duel each other, with the both of them dying in the process?

"Plus I'm richer then him." Sean said making her smack his arm.

"Please you think I'm with you for money?" Alexis asked grinning.

"True I guess you just consider it a bonus." Sean said.


Sean was looking over the ocean till he felt a presence.

"Who's there?" Sean asked looking around till a man who well looked soaked appeared in a flow of water. "Wallow." Sean said remembering the name.

"Its time for another death duel boy." Wallow said as the entire island was engulfed in water and everyone found themselves in the arena.

Drowning in the process, because the arena was filled with water.

"Ah man not again." Jaden said.

"Well wheres your oracle form?" Wallow said expecting it.

"Don't need it for the likes of you." Sean said as he put on his duel disk and put his deck in.

"LETS DUEL!" They both said

Sean's life points 4,000

Wallow's life points 4,000

"I'll star things off. First I summon Assassins daughter in defense mode." Sean said having the young assassin on the field making the girls squeal at her cuteness.

Is this going to be a running gag, where all the girls squeal at the “cuteness” of the Assassins Accident?

Assassins daughter

Atk 500

Def 500

"Next I place 5 cards on the field and activate one of them card of sanctity which lets us draw till we each have six cards on our hands and then activate gift of Elysium which gives me 1,000 life points for each card in my hand meaning I get 6,000 points." Sean said

Sean's life points 10,000

Wallow's 4,000

"Now I play this card order of the oracle which lets me summon a high level greek card from my deck and I chose my legendary Hydra." Sean said as a 5 headed hydra dragon appeared and roared at Wallow who looked fearful.


Atk 5,000

Def 10,000


Oh, wrong Hydra. My mistake…

"Next I place heavy storm which destroys all my face down cards. I end my turn." Sean said.

"Whoa he's doing good so far." Mindy said.

"But why did he destroy his face down cards?" Jaden asked.

"My guess is those were his token cards the Gargoyles." Zane said.

"My turn and I play dark hole which destroys all monsters on your field." Wallow said as both his monsters were destroyed with ease. "Then I play this giant Jellyfish." Wallow said as his giant jellyfish appeared.

Yes! That stupid Assassin card was destroyed. A shame that the Hydra had to die as well, since Hydra’s are cool.

Giant Jellyfish

Atk 1,200

Def 1,500

"Now attack." Wallow said as his monster attacked him but Sean didn't even look affected by it.

"My turn and my token monsters appear. Next I sacrifice them to summon Aegaeon the Hecatonchire!" Sean said.

"WHAT!" Wallow said in shock and fear as a massive monster appeared with several arms groaning in pain.

"Ew what is that!" Jasmin asked in disgust.

"Aegaeon the Hecatonchire one of the most legendary monsters of Greece hunted down by the Furies when he broke a blood oath to Zeus." Sean said.

I don’t trust that explanation. Let me search it up…

*intense research session*

According to GreekMythology.com, the Hecatoncheires were the offspring of Uranus and Gaia. Disgusted by what he saw, Uranus stuck them back inside Gaia’s womb, infuriating her to the point where she began plotting with Cronus to overthrow Uranus.

I didn’t find anything regarding a blood oath to Zeus.

Aegaeon the Hecatonchires

Atk 10,000

Def 9,000

"No! NO!" Wallow said in fear.

"Now attack thousand arm attack!" Sean said as his giant monster used all of his arms to attack Wallow with great ease. The students and teachers cheered as Sean one with yet another legendary monster. Wallow growled before water engulfed the arena and Sean was caught in a water sphere as Wallow tried to suffocate him and roared at his face while the others tried to help.

Can you feel it? The intense battle going on?!

Nah…me neither.

"SEAN!" Alexis yelled in fear as she and the others tried to get in.

Wallow roared at Sean again till.

"Surprise!" Sean said shocking Wallow and terrified him as Sean turned into his oracle form and laughed at him while Wallow screamed in fear while Sean roared and launched a fire blast him burning his body away and the sphere went down and Sean turned to normal and coughed a little.

"Sean you ok?" Alexis asked as she rushed to him.

"Yeah I'm alright. I was not expecting that." Sean said laughing a little.

"Please tell me thats the last death duel we have to see?" Alexis asked.

"Nope theres two more one of which is on the island and the other is Freddy. But it is almost over." Sean said taking a deep breath.

Well the author’s not wrong about that. There’s only two more chapters to go.


Sean was in his room with Alexis both were completely naked under the sheets from their own personal fun.

Oh thank fuck we missed out on that lemon!

"So who's the last person on the island you have to face?" Alexis asked as she rested her head on his chest listening to his heartbeat.

"Blackheart then all I have to do is fight Freddy and its over for good." Sean said kissing her forehead.

"Promise me you'll be careful the last thing I want is for you to get hurt or worse." Alexis said.

"I cant make any promises but I can at least try. I have a reason to live here." Sean said kissing her lovingly before the door opened and Mindy and Jasmine walked in nude as them.

"Mind if we join you?" Jasmin said smiling making them laugh a little before they got into bed with them and went to sleep.

Thus ends the chapter, with the author promising that Blackheart would be more challenging than the other demons. I’m fairly confident that Blackheart would move the challenge level up, from lobotomized turkey, to retarded goat.

Until next time everyone!

List of mocks can be found here: Here

QUOTE (AnItalianGuy @ May 27 2016, 02:03 AM) *
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
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post Jan 23 2017, 05:28 AM
"We overheard you about it yesterday and if it does help him we're in just so long as we're all treated fair and not sex slaves." Mindy said.

How awfully specific. It's almost like the author put that line there to avoid possible accusations.

"Do you recall one of the stories I told you about a small village that was given deals by a stranger and then literally drowned in its own blood?" Sean asked.

"Yeah what about it?" Alexis asked.

"That person who made the deals with them was the devil himself called Mephistopheles." Sean said shocking her. "The last Oracle went to the village to take the contract he made with he village out of his hands since the souls were so evil and dark he knew he couldn't let him have it and only my family knows where it is. The ones I've killed in that form are demons after the contract and more are on the way." Sean said remembering how his father told him this story a long time ago.

"So they're after a contract to gain power but why not simply just ask Freddy about where it is?" Alexis asked making Sean sit up and pulled something out of his bag and it was the contract.

"Because I have it with me. The only way they can acquire the contract is by defeating me in battle or in a duel since ancient magic is casted over it to protect it from them.

It's the fucking plot of the Ghost Rider movie. Here's the intro from the film:

It's said that the West was built on legends. Tall tales that help us make sense of things too great...or too terrifying to believe. This is the legend of the Ghost Rider. Story goes that every generation has one. Some damned soul, cursed to ride the earth...collecting on the devil's deals. Many years ago, a Ghost Rider was sent to the village of San Venganza...to fetch a contract worth 1000 evil souls. But that contract was so powerful...he knew he could never let the devil get his hands on it. So he did what no Rider has ever done before: He outran the devil himself. The thing about legends is...sometimes they're true.

What I don't understand is what's the point of having Freddy around. I mean, compared to the plot about a dark contract and the demons seeking it, the guy seems rather underwhelming. You could probably take him out of the equation with minimal impact. Again, it feels as if the author's writing process is adding whatever stuff he just saw, regardless if it makes sense or not.

"Fine then lets see what you got flame boy." Chazz said and gasped once Sean turned to his oracle form and roared at Chazz.

"Oh this should be good." Alexis said.

You threw some guy's cards to the sea, Chazz! That automatically puts you on the same level as the demons from Hell that prey on human souls!

Giant Jellyfish

Atk 1,200

Def 1,500

I see the author has finally stopped caring. Guess the final duel will be Sean playing something like "Wrath of the Olympus" on the first turn and discarding his entire hand to bring his opponent's life points to zero before the other guy can even play a single card.
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Post #16

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post Jan 24 2017, 06:17 PM
Dashguy@ Even better, instead of writing duels between his self-insert and Freddy’s goons, he juts rips off episodes from the show.

So here we are, the grand finale of Greek Duelist. If you were hoping to see more batshit insanity, then you’re out of luck. However, even in this fic’s eleventh hour, the author manages to grind my gears. What did the author do, to piss me off this badly? Let’s find out.

Chapter 10 Nature of the draw

"Jaden wait up man." Sean as he and Syrus ran after him.

"No way not on Eggwich day." Jaden said.

"Dude chill." Sean said as they made it the room where the sandwiches were at.

"Its been 5 weeks since you've been able to draw it." Syrus said.

"Here goes." Jaden said picking one and took a bite and groaned. "Grilled tongue." Jaden said making Sean burst out laughing.

Mmmmmm…tasty! Does that sandwich come with sauce?

"Sucks to be you. This is why I don't do shit like this the odds are always against you." Sean said still laughing.

And what’s wrong with playing a little game of chance? Oh wait, I forgot. It had nothing to do with smashing opponents with your Greek cards.

"That and you suck at making choices like this." Alexis said behind him making him growl while she giggled at him.

"I take it you got it then?" Sean asked.

"No in fact no one has for the past few weeks." Alexis said.

"What how?" Sean asked.

"Someone must be coming in and steeling them." Dorthy said.

"Really? Well I say we find out for sure." Sean said grinning.

"You just want to get out doing your homework." Alexis said.

Now we can add ‘shirking responsibilities’ to Sean’s ever-growing list on why he’s a dickhead.

"Don't act like your not interested in joining." Sean said smirking making her smile.

"True." Alexis said.


"So who is this last guy you have to face in a death duel?" Jaden asked.

"He goes by the name Blackheart the son of the devil himself. Compared to the last three death duelist he's much worse." Sean said taking a drink from his flask.

"How can a demon work for a human?" Alexis asked.

"You'd be surprised its happened before during ancient times. However Blackheart is more interested in getting the contract of a thousand souls that I carry with me. He gets that and he might just be powerful enough to defeat his father." Sean said.

Uh-Huh. Call me when you’re not ripping off the Ghost Rider movie, thank you very much.

"Uh how bad are we talking here?" Syrus asked shaking in fear along with Chumly.

"A new hell on earth." Sean said making them shake even more. "Fortunately I've beaten the other three with ease so he shouldn't be a problem especially with my oracle form." Sean said.

But you just said that he was a stronger duelist than the other three demons. Consistency, what is that?

"How do you even activate that thing anyway?" Jaden asked.

"Concentration. I admit the first time was a pain in the ass especially considering I didn't activate it by choice in my second death duel. How Freddy got the formula to make that happen while he was in jail is beyond me." Sean said.


Sean and the others waited for the thief to come and soon the doors opened and someone came in about to steel the egg sandwich when Alexis turned the light on. The person was about to run till.

"Damon?" Sean said confused making the identified Damon blink before seeing Sean.

"Sean what are you doing here?" Damon asked confused forgetting to use his tough voice.

Leeching off the plot of Yu-Gi-Oh GX.

"I go to school here now dumbass. What are you doing?" Sean asked crossing his arms narrowing his eyes at his old friend.

"Uh well um. You know how I usually have bad luck at drawing cards." Damon said.

"Yeah why?" Sean asked.

"Well for the past year I've been living with nature and have been getting better but I needed to test my abilities and this seemed like the perfect test at the time." Damon said.

"That has got to be the dumbest thing I've ever fucking heard. Its just a game win or lose it doesn't matter." Sean said.

It’s ironic how these self-inserts spew this neckbeardy garbage, about how it doesn’t matter whether they win or lose, yet they never end up losing.

"Well thats easy for you to say I always lose." Damon said annoyed.

"So get over it for gods sakes man it a game not some life or death situation." Sean said.

You’re one to talk, considering all of those death duels you’ve participated in.

"I was wondering where the hell you went a year ago and now I'm wishing I didn't cause you really have gone off the deep end." Sean said making Damon grumble in annoyance.

"Ok I'm confused how do you know each other?" Syrus asked.

"How else we grew up together. Damian and I always played the game whenever possible. I heard he went missing a year ago and assumed Freddy was responsible." Sean said.

"Why would you assume him he's locked up in a cell remember?" Damon asked confused.

"Not anymore he's been set free a month ago and sent his death duelist after me. I've dealt with all but one left." Sean said.

"Oh great." Damon said. Sean sniffed the air and gagged.

"Dude you need a fucking bath oh my god!" Sean said making Alexis and the others laugh while they held their noses.

"I don't smell that bad. Do I?" Damon asked.

"Yes you fucking do. My god I've had homeless people next to me that smelled better then you." Sean said making them all laugh harder.

And I’ve met closet psychopaths that were nicer than you, Sean.


Damon had went to his old room and showered and got a haircut.

"Out of everything I was expecting in this whole thing seeing him was not one of them." Sean said to Alexis as they went to his room.

"How exactly do you know each other personally?" Alexis asked.

"Like I said we grew up together. He's not greek like me his family moved in next door and we got along real well and become good friends." Sean said.

"Must be good to know someone you grew up with is here." Alexis said smiling.

"Yeah it is. Anyway lets get to bed I'm dead tired." Sean said closing the door before she pushed him on the bed. "Hey!" Sean said before he blinked and smirked as somehow in 3 seconds she was already butt naked before him.


Another fucking lemon, are you fucking kidding me?!

"Are you sure your tired enough to sleep?" Alexis asked in a seductive voice that made him chuckle in amusement before he pulled her down making her burst out in a fit of giggles.

"Now that you mention it no not yet." Sean said getting out of his boxers and lined himself up at her entrance and thrusted into her making her moan softly in bliss before he rammed into her sex lovingly making her smile as she placed her hands on his face and pulled him into a kiss before she turned the lamp off that was next to them letting the moon light be their source of light.

Alexis shuddered in bliss as he kissed her neck before sucking on it making her moan softly feeling him leave a mark on her neck. She moaned in bliss as he thrusted into her wet sex as each thrust made her breasts move up and down with each deep thrust into her.

The only experience the author has with sex, involves buying fetish furry porn comics off the internet.

"Mmmm cum inside me." Alexis said feeling her orgasm approaching and could tell he was close to if his twitching cock inside her wasn't proof enough of that. Sean pulled her into a loving kiss making her moan before both of them held each other tightly as they both came hard and fast. Alexis moaned in sexual bliss and her eyes rolled into the back of her head as she felt his seed enter her womb making her moan softly feeling his warm essence inside her.

"Perfect as always." Sean said making her smile and kissed him lovingly.

Perfect my ass…

"I love you." Alexis said making him smile and kissed her where her heart was at making her smile more as he kissed her on the lips lovingly.

"I love you to Alexis." Sean said making her smile before he got off her and laid next to her before she got on top of him and rested on his chest and quickly fell asleep in his arms. Sean pulled the covers on them and wrapped a arm around her wait while the other played with her hair before drifting off to sleep as well.

Ok, that’s Chapter 10 done. Now for the final chapter, which revolves around the net-decker Dimitri.

Chapter 11 King of copy cats

Sean was walking down the hall when he noticed a crowd of people in the game shop.

"Hey whats up?" Sean asked Bastion.

"Just the usual around here as always." Bastion said.

"A duel? So who's up against who?" Sean asked.

"Well on the left is Dimitri." Bastion said.

"Never heard of him. So who's the other... Huh?" Sean said as the person in question was Damon.

"Damon?" Sean asked.

"Oh hey Sean." Damon said.

"The hells going on?" Sean asked.

It’s a duel between two regular chumps. Not worthy of gracing them with the presence of your Spartan cock.

"A high stake duel check it out." Damon said pointing to the right and to Sean's surprise posters of Yugi Muto the king of games was seen. "Yugi's deck is going on tour and the first stop is here." Damon said.

"Whoa nice but what are you doing this for then lets get tickets." Sean said.

"Sean thats what their dueling for. This is the last ticket and the winer gets it." Dorthy said.

"Ive already got mine and I figured you'd want one so thats what the duels for." Damon said.

"Oh ok. Good luck." Sean said letting the duel continue.

You know…as much as I rip on the crossover shit, at least it’s more entertaining then what we’ve got here.

"My turn and I play heavy storm and that young schooler destroys all the spells and traps on the field." Dimitri said sounding like the clown faced idiot.

"Hey wait a second Crowler did the same thing to me during the exams and why does he sound like him?" Sean asked.

"Dimitri is known for copying duelists instead of making his own deck thats why he constantly loses." Bastion said.

"Well thats stupid." Sean said as the two cards on Dimitri's field were destroyed and like his duel two tokens appeared. "Way to be original you fucking copy cat." Sean said making many of the students laugh while Dimitri growled.

Breaking news: No one cares about your opinion, Sean.

"I sacrifice my two tokens to summon ancient gear golem!" Dimitri said having the giant machine monster appear.

"Lame." Sean said making everyone laugh again.

"What are you trying to do? Piss him off?" Alexis asked walking up to him.

"I hate copy cats it's a Spartan thing." Sean said shrugging.

Hold up! Let me check this out…

*intense research session*

I found nothing to indicate that the Spartans hated copy cats. But then again, why am I surprised to see the author make up shit about the thing he claims to love?

"Attack Mechanized Melee!" Dimitri yelled.

"Not so fast my monster has an ability that lets me play a trap like this magic cylinder and you can guess what that does copy cat!" Damon said grinning.

"Time out!" Dimitri said before his own attack hit him and lost all his life points.

"Nice work." Sean said impressed.

"Ah it was easy when you know your opponents." Damon said handing him his ticket.

"Thank you. Alright lets go shows over." Sean said while the others mocked Dimitri who growled and ran off in rage. "He needs his own deck and not a copy of others." Sean said.

"Everyone has their own way of dueling." Alexis said.

"So if he copies your deck your not going to be pissed or annoyed?" Sean asked making her smirk.

"Oh I will and kick him in the nuts." Alexis said making them burst out laughing.

Physical violence is so funny, you guys!


"Remind me again. Why the hell are we going to the exhibit when we have tickets?" Sean asked Jaden as they snuck in. With them was Damon Alexis Mindy Jasmine Syrus and Chumly.

"Come on don't tell me your not tempted to see it right now?" Jaden said grinning making him roll his eyes in amusement. Just as the got to the door Bastion came to them.

"Hello." Sean said with a grin.

"Well I guess Great minds think alike." Bastion said before they heard a scream from inside the room.

-Great mind

Pick one.

"The hell?" Sean said as they went inside and found Crowler in the room and the display case where the deck was broken. "Hey wheres the deck?" Sean asked glaring at Crowler.

"Lets get Sheppard." Jaden said about to rush off.

"NOOO!" Crowler yelled jumping them.

"Hey get off!" Sean yelled.

"I know this looks bad but believe me I didn't steal the deck." Crowler said in fear.

"As much as I want him to get in trouble by Sheppard I believe him. Lets have a look around and see what we find." Sean said.

He hasn’t done anything to antagonise you as of late. Why are you hell bent on punishing Dr. Crowler?!


"Nothing?" Sean asked the group minus Syrus.

"No nothing I don't get it." Damon said before they heard Syrus yell.

"Syrus?" Sean said as they rushed to where they heard him scream and found him on the ground and heard laughing.

"Ah yes its good to be the king of games." Dimitri said trying to sound like Yugi.

"You fuck! You never learn do you Dimitri?" Sean yelled jumping on the rock where Syrus dueled him. "Hand over the deck." Sean said.

Syrus dueled Sean?

And where the fuck was this?!

"If you want this deck you'll have to duel me for them." Dimitri said in his Yugi voice.

"Grrr Fine!" Sean said getting his deck and duel disk out.

Sean's life points 4,000

Dimitri's life points 4,000

"Lets Duel!" They said.

"Since I'm not a copy cat I'll go first." Sean said drawing his cards.

No, you’re not a copycat, I’ll give you that.

What you are is a fucking cheater, who relies on broken cards, that can’t be countered in any way!

'Hmm Not bad.' Sean thought.

"I summon my olympian defender in defense mode." Sean said summon his monster. "Since its my first turn and I don't have any monsters on my field I can summon him without a sacrifice. However I cant attack at all with him since I summoned him this way" Sean said.

Olympian defender

Atk 1,500

Def 3,000

"Next I play two pot of Greed cards." Sean said drawing four cards and smirked. "Next I place five cards face and end my turn." Sean said.

"Is that all? A pity I was expecting something more. I fuse Gazelle and Berformet to summon Chimera the Flying Mythical Beast." Dimitri said playing the two headed monster.


Atk 2,100

Def 1,800

"Whoa not bad at all." Sean said. "Still it's not enough to destroy my defender its 900 points to short." Sean said.

"That maybe but for now he will do." Dimitri said.

*yawn*…can you like, spice things up a bit? I’m one poorly written duel away from jumping off the nearest cliff.

"Whatever." Sean said drawing his next card and smirked. "Well I'll be. I play cost down in order to play this. Millennium shield." Sean said having a large shield with the millennium symbol appear.

Millenium shield

Atk 0

Def 3,000

"Who thats two monsters with 3,000 defense points whats he doing?" Jaden asked.

"I have no idea." Alexis said.

"Impressive but you're only delaying the inevitable of your defeat." Dimitri said drawing his next card and smirked. "I play de-Fusion which separates my monster back to the original two and then I sacrifice them to summon Dark Magician." Dimitri said summoning Yugi's famous monster to the field in all its glory.

Dark Magician

Atk 2,500

Def 2,100

"Wow cool I always liked that card." Sean said liking this duel more and more.

'Still it wont be enough to stop what I've got in store.' Sean thought.

Let me guess…

You’re going to summon Zeus onto the field?

"Now then I place a card face down and end my turn." Dimitri said.

"Ok my draw." Sean said drawing his next and felt a jolt of lightning course through him as he picked it up and smirked. "You are so boned Dimitri for what I've got in store. First I play mystical space typhoon." Sean said destroying his face down which was mirror force. "Next I play this change of heart to take control of your monster." Sean said shocking Dimitri as his monster was on his opponents side.

"Whoa awesome now he's got what he needs to beat him." Jaden said.

"No he doesn't." Alexis said confusing them. "Don't you remember what he said? He cant attack with his defender at all since he summoned him without a sacrifice." Alexis said.

"Oh thats right." Jaden said before Sean burst out laughing.

"I don't need them to finish him off I just needed three monsters to sacrifice." Sean said.

"Huh to summon what?" Alexis asked.

"I sacrifice my Olympian defender my Millennium shield and the dark magician to summon this." Sean said slamming his card down on his disk and the sky began to shoot down lightning like crazy.

I don’t like where this is going…

"What...What is this?" Dimitri asked in shock as the sky split apart and to everyones shock as to what he just summoned it was.

"I summon the legendary and all mighty Obelisk the Tormentor!" Sean yelled as the legendary Egyptian god monster appeared with its blue skin red glowing eyes glaring at Dimitri.

"Oh my god!" Alexis yelled in shock.

"No imposible!" Dimitri yelled in shock.

Obelisk the Tormentor

Atk 4,000

Def 4,000

That does it! Not only does Sean have those overpowered Greek cards, not only does he have Exodia, but he has the fucking God cards with him as well. What is even the point of reading the duels if Sean has all the most powerful cards in the game? What was even the point of hyping up Blackheart to be this ultra-challenging duelist? And more importantly, why the fuck couldn’t the author have just written about Freddy Kruger playing the card game?!

"Alright my friend lets show him what happens to those who steal what is not theirs in my country and show him why your known as the Tormentor!" Sean yelled as Obelisk Roared in rage.

"AHHHH!" Dimitri yelled in fear.

"Obelisk Fist of Fate!" Sean yelled as his god monster slammed his fist down on Dimitri who screamed in absolute fear. "Its over thief." Sean said while looking at his monster and smiled. "Nice work old friend." Sean said in appreciation of the help. You could almost see a small smirk on the god monsters face as he vanished. Sean went to Dimitri who was knocked out before Sean took the deck back. "Get up." Sean said kicking his stomach making him groan in pain.

More physical violence.

At this point, I’m willing to believe that Sean has some mental issues, if his first reaction it to pummel things with his fists.

"I lost even with Yugi's legendary cards. Why cant I ever win?" Dimitri asked in sorrow before Sean pulled him up harshly.

"Because you're a copy cat thief thats why. You wont win by copying others decks but it doesn't matter now." Sean said as he dragged him to Sheppard's office.

"Hey where you going?" Alexis asked.

"Taking this fucking Thief to Sheppard so he can face punishment." Sean said.

"Whoa hold on." Jaden said blocking him.

"Out of my way." Sean said.

"Look we get it you hate copy cats but do you really have to be so harsh I mean he just needs a push in the right direction." Jaden said.

Jaden has a valid point, isn’t that what happened in the actual anime? I get that he needs to be punished for stealing Yugi’s deck, but I don’t believe for a second that Sean should play the role of a vigilante.

"Out of my way Jaden." Sean said going around him.

"Let him go." Damon said holding Jaden back. "Seeing this just reminds him of what Freddy did of not receiving the deserved punishment he should have gotten." Damon said knowing what the real issue was.

Next day

"So he was expelled?" Alexis asked Sean as they walked around the exhibit that was repaired.

"Yup serves him right for what he did." Sean said.

"How come you never said you had the god cards?" Jaden asked.

"Well I only have two since Ra was destroyed for being to dangerous and it felt good using that card again. Believe it or not Yugi himself actually gave me these two cards a long time ago. Said they belonged to me for some reason." Sean said holding his deck with his best cards with a smirk on his face.

Oh get a load of this bullshit!

Firstly, why the fuck was only Ra destroyed, as opposed to all three of them getting destroyed? Aren’t all the God cards just as strong as each other?

Secondly, what the fuck was Yugi thinking, when he handed over Slifer and Obelisk to this chucklefucks? What’s stopping Sean from attempting to take over the word, now that he’s got two of the Egyptian God cards?

Finally, where was anyone, protesting Yugi’s decision? You think that they’ll object to Sean owning the cards, but apparently, they’re cool with it.

Fuck this fucking filth!

"Wow you've literally have all the best cards." Alexis said impressed.

"What can I say? We greeks have all the luck in the world." Sean said boasting making her roll her eyes in amusement before kissing his cheek making him chuckle.

Done. I’m done with this waste of pixels. Overall, it was utter dogshit. The grammar is piss poor, the protagonist is an overpowered bag of dicks, the logic is non-existent, and the canon characters were cardboard cutouts. The most noteworthy part was just how batshit insane the crossovers got; it was already bad enough that we have a duelist using Greek/Assassins Creed cards in his deck, while being pursued by Freddy Kruger, but the Ghost Rider shenanigans was the icing on top of the Cake of Insanity.

I’m not saying that we should wage a crusade against this guy, but I do recommend checking out his works, since they are prime mocking material. In fact, there’s another fic of his I’m planning to mock, but since I don’t want to mock the same author twice in a row, I’ll do what I promised to do, and mock a Masked Rider Roy fic.

*shudders* I am not looking forward to this…

List of mocks can be found here: Here

QUOTE (AnItalianGuy @ May 27 2016, 02:03 AM) *
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
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post Jan 24 2017, 08:08 PM
QUOTE (GorillaGamer @ Jan 24 2017, 09:17 PM) *
Syrus dueled Sean?

And where the fuck was this?!

According to the Yugioh wiki, in the original Syrus was the one dueling Dmitri for the tickets and he won. Then later, Dmitri defeated Syrus with Yugi's deck, and Jaden took his place and eventually beat him. So what chucklefuck here did was basically rip off the original to the point where he meshed the plot of the original with his own story.

You're also right in that Jaden & co. let him go later on, explaining that his 'heart' wasn't in the game and blah, blah anime stuff. GX was way too light hearted a show at this point for someone to get expelled, which makes Sean's grimdark past and edgelord attitude about "justice" all the more out of place.

I mentioned this before in someone else's mock (I think it was a Pokemon Academy one): Yugioh GX understood that it had a pretty silly premise and ran with it. It's incredibly comical, very light hearted, never takes itself too seriously. Even in the arcs where there are world-threatening stakes, no one goes off a cliff and starts acting like a captious cunt. I guess I can't blame them given how maudlin 5Ds was in comparison, but damn. Forget the brokenness of cards for a minute (I don't expect fanfic writers to have the ability to create a balanced meta) this really had no coherence other than Yugioh GX became far more grimdark than it needed to be.

Also there was a lot of sex, which is weird, but predictable given that our author was almost certainly a teenaged boy who uses his dick like a fightstick.

What a waste of bandwidth.

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Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 20th August 2017 - 06:51 PM