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> Kamen Rider GX, On a Ride Machine to the Special School
Post #1
CuChulainn1290


I'm an angel of the Mock.
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post Dec 6 2016, 03:26 PM
Welcome everyone, to the duo mock of the decade. Here with you are GorillaGamer, and CuChulainn1290. The story that's going to be mocked is Kamen Rider GX, written by Fenikusumaru. And boy, it's a doozy.

Sup. We also will be calling in Dashguy periodically to jump in.

So who is Fennikusumaru? He's a major weeaboo, who desperately pines to have been born in Japan, instead of America. A lot of his fics follow the same formula. They all involve some hamfisted insertion of Kamen Rider, they all involve a bunch of shitty OC's that he and his clan of fellow weeaboo spergmonkeys created, and they all involve him getting the girl of his dreams, which varies from fic to fic.

I tried to do a mock of one of his fics, Awakening of Kiva, but quite frankly, that fic (and this one too) is nothing but a lot of backtrack-a-go-go and I couldn’t quite summon the energy to go through with it. He does try to weave his own plot (clumsily) throughout his fanfics, but every attempt to make his character, the eternal dork-mare Kurogasa Kururugi, into something other than a massive tool with Deus Ex Machina powers has failed miserably. And this is no different.

PS: Want some extra anger points to help you mock this CuChu? Well get a load of this.

Remember in Wrath of the Project, where SovietRussiaDork turned Nino into his little sister? Well I read Fenik's Rekka no Ken story (which is shit by the way.) and take a wild fucking guess what happens? Yep, Fenik had turned Nino into his self-insert's little sister. Seriously, when I saw her call Kurogasa 'Onii-chan', I immediately reached for my noose and hung myself. As a result, I am now the first ghost to take part in a fanfiction mock.

Oh yeah. I must have just glanced past that. And now I’m all mad again! Thanks, mac!

But it just goes to show just how creatively bankrupt Feni-kun is. It seems like all of these stupid authors operate on the same mental wavelength. I’d call him the fanfiction version of Ed Wood, but that’s an insult to Ed Wood.


Well with that out of the way, Let's rev this mock up!


Chapter 1: There's A New Duelist In Town

Domino City. Home to some of the world's most famous duelists of Duel Monsters. It housed Seto Kaiba, CEO of the Kaiba Corporation, Joey Wheeler, the self–proclaimed 'Godfather of Games'. And most of all, it housed the King of Games: Yugi Moto. It's also home to the Kaiba Dome where students from all over were applying to go to the prestigious: Duel Academy. And our story begins here.

Why do some people insist on writing it “Moto” when most of us know it’s written “Muto?”

We see a motorcycle coming up on to the parking lot of the Kaiba Dome and the driver parked his motorcycle and stopped the engine. The driver removed his helmet revealing to be a teenager who is about 16 years old, has brown hair in the style that somewhat resembles Kira Yamato's hairstyle from Gundam Seed and has icy blue eyes.

The way this story is going, he may as well be Kira. And by that, I mean someone who embodies everything bad about Kira’s character.

Also, as I said in my one-time mock of Awakening of Kiva: fuck you, anything involving Kira Yamato is wasted on you.


He was wearing a black biker's leather jacket and under it was a black shirt, and in the middle of that shirt was a large yellow framed circle divided into three parts. Starting from the top of the circle, it had a red symbol picture of a hawk. The middle part of the circle, which took up most of it, had a yellow symbol picture of a tiger. And lastly, the bottom part of the circle, had a green symbol of a grasshopper. To finish off his look, he wore light–blue denim jeans, with a belt that held his deck of cards, white socks, black tennis shoes, and black fingerless gloves and carrying a backpack that carried something bulky.

"Alright, time to show these guys at Duel Academy what we're made of." The boy smirked as he looked at his deck box.

And so it was discovered that he was made of thirty-five liters of water, twenty kilograms of carbon, four liters of ammonia, one and a half kilograms of lime, eight-hundred grams of phosphorus, two-hundred and fifty grams of salt (possibly a error), a hundred grams of saltpeter, eighty grams of potassium, five grams of iron, three grams of silicone, and trace amounts of fifteen other elements.

There was also an element that could not be identified, but the testers believed it was thirty pounds of pure extract of nerd.


You forgot the fifty pounds of Weeabooium.

"Yosh!" Several phantom voices called out at once.

Wow, I didn’t think we’d be breaking out the It’s Weaboo Time! Counter so soon.

Oh god...If I brought that counter into this mock, the number would bypass the fucking stratosphere!

...fuck it, let's see how high it goes anyway!

It's Weaboo Time: 1


Yes, Kurogasa is also gifted with the power to see Duel Monster spirits.

Spoilers.

Which ones you ask? Well, we'll find out soon enough. A few minutes later, he proceeded to the Kaiba Dome arriving at the desk, where people are signing up to be tested to see if they had what it takes to be at Duel Academy. Kurogasa came up to the desk with a man sitting behind it.

"Greetings young man. How may I help you?" He asked.

"I'm here to apply for Duel Academy." The boy answered.

"Name?"

"Kurogasa Kururugi."

The man took a clipboard from his desk and looked at the list carefully. A few seconds later… "Ah, here you are. Kurogasa Kururugi." the man nodded. "Just head inside and when they call you, head to the arena."

"Thank you sir." Kurogasa bowed respectfully and went to proceed inside the building.

…that’s it? I know the point of this was to establish he was applying to Duel Academy, but if that’s all this was for, you could’ve done a bit more with it. Like have some unforeseen complication happen just to make things interesting.

________________________________________

Once inside, he saw a lot of students and examinees around. Some who already finished their exams were already wearing red, yellow, and blue blazer jackets, the blue blazers jackets having coat tails on the bottom. "Wow, there's a lot of people of here." Kurogasa mused to himself. He also noticed other people wearing clothes other than the red, yellow, and blue jackets. "Must be the ones that applied and finished too."

Funny that. Was the fact that Alexis and Chazz already in their Duel Academy uniform compared to Jaden, Syrus, Bastion, and Kuro-kins always meant to be handwaved?

Down below, Kurogasa noticed a duel going on duel between a boy about a year younger than him wearing a grayish–white school uniform and a dueling proctor. On the field in front of the proctor were two monsters in defense mode. Gear Golem the Moving Fortress and Big Shield Gardna. The monster opposite of them was a Vorse Raider and there was also a face down card in the Spell/Trap Card Zone.

And on your right you will see an event that we’ve already seen coming a mile away! Please have your cameras ready!

"Alright new guy. Multiple choice; you have two monsters staring ya down, do you A: throw in the towel, B: beg for mercy, or C: run home to mamma?" The proctor asked.

"I'll go with D: none of the above!"

I would have gone with option E: Telling him to suck my dick!

The boy with dark hair announced before pressing a button on his duel disk. "I choose to activate my trap card. You see, with Ring of Destruction I can destroy any monster in attack position and we both take damage equal to its attack points."

A ring of red bombs appeared around the Vorse Raider's neck and exploded on impact.

Proctor: 0

Boy: 1300


"Clever move." He said. "Welcome to the Academy."

"Thank you oh wise Proctor." The boy bowed.

'Huh… not bad.' Kurogasa thought.

Up in the stands, he saw three boys wearing Obelisk Blue Academy blazers who also watched the duel as well. "Wow, that guy's pretty good huh, Chazz?" The boy with blue hair and glasses said.

"Guess the rumors about him being some whiz kid were true, huh Chazz?" The boy on the other side said.

"He's a punk." The person in the middle called Chazz scoffed. "We went to Duel prep school for the past three years. We're ready for the Academy. These kids don't know what they're getting into. But they'll learn… the hard way, the Chazz Princeton way."

'Chazz Princeton, huh? With an attitude like that, I might have to change your tune when we duel.' Kurogasa thought.

Kurogasa, huh? with an attitude like your's, I might have to give you a dickin'...

"Kurogasa Kururugi, please report to Dueling Field #1. I repeat, Kurogasa Kururugi. Dueling Field # 1." A voice over the PA announced.

"And that's my cue." Kurogasa said to himself as he headed over to his assigned field.

*snip*

Kurogasa rose up from an elevated platform wearing a duel disk. It was the standard Kaiba Corp. Duel Disk. In front of him was a man wearing the purple blazer with a coat tail. It was one of the proctors.

"Alright, applicant. Name?" The proctor asked.

"Kurogasa Kururugi." He replied back respectfully.

By the way, yes, that name Kurogasa Kururugi has specific kanji, thanks to him writing it out in his Shokugeki no Souma fic.

"Alright then Kurogasa, you know the rules: you win, you're in. If not, better luck next year." The proctor said strapping up his duel disk.

"Oh, I'll be in this year. I guarantee it." Kurogasa smirked as he took out his deck out of his deck box. "Henshin!" his inserted his deck in the deck slot and the duel disk went from standby to active.

"Henshin?" Alexis wondered. "What's he talking about?"

"I don't know," Zane replied, "Never expected an applicant to come with a gimmick."

"Uh… okay?" The Proctor said getting a bit weirded out.

"It means Transform. I just transformed my duel disk from standby to active." Kurogasa sighed. "Man, people need to watch Kamen Rider more…" He added saying that last part to himself.

No thank you. I do not want any more people to end up like you and Mask Rider Roy.

God I hate that bastard Roy, HE TRIED TO TAKE PRINCESS SONIA FROM ME!!


Or maybe you need to ditch this apparently-obscure gimmick you have. Also, gotta add to the counter.

It's Weaboo Time!: 2


"Well… good to know." The Proctor got out. "So… shall we get started?"

"Yeah…" Kurogasa said finally. Both duelists drew their starting hand.

________________________________________

"DUEL!"

Kurogasa: 4000

Proctor: 4000


"Since you're the one applying, you have the first move." The Proctor offered.

"Thanks. Don't mind if I do. Draw!" Kurogasa declared drawing his sixth card. He looked at his hand and smiled at what he got. "Nice… Alright, for my first move, I'll summon Kamen Rider Den–O in ATK mode!" Kurogasa declared placing his card on the tray. At that point a man in a black bodysuit with a chest plate is black and white with the white parts higher up with a silver line in the center that looks like train tracks. The helmet has a silver line running down the middle with a silver mouth plate and black eyes. There was also a belt on his waist that had a red, blue, yellow, and purple next to a circle that had a V with a tip pointing to his right. He also had a small rectangle thin box of some sort that had a ticket in it. The man pressed the red button letting play an electronic keyboard kind of tune. He swiped the box that had the ticket over the circle. "Henshin!"

SWORD FORM

At that point, six piece of red armor appeared and was placed on his torso and a red mask covered the black eyes and now carries a sword."Ore… sanjou! (1)" Den–O declared striking his pose (4/ATK: 1800/DEF: 1600).

Please don’t tell me he is going to describe the transformation sequence of the Kamen Riders every time he summons one.

From the look of things, that's what he's going to do.

Such a waste of words in my opinion. Should we cut them out in future chapters?


That's probably wise.

"Huh?" The Proctor blinked. "I've never seen that card before."

"No one has. These Kamen Rider cards just recently came out." Kurogasa explained.

Zane Truesdale and Alexis Rhodes looked down at the beginning duel between a proctor and an applicant. Both were idly casting glances, but when the applicant had summoned his first monster, both were trained on the new monster and the one controlling it.

"Kamen Rider?" asked Alexis. "Never heard of them before."

"If what he says is true, then probably, like he said, no one has." Zane reasoned. "Looks strong enough, but there is probably more to them than meets the eye."

Wrong show, Zane.

"Hey Chazz," one of the boys in blue asked one Chazz Princeton as they watched the duel. "Ever heard of a Kamen Rider before?"

"Must be a new Archetype or something," Chazz shrugged. "Who cares? Let the rejects duel with what they want."

You just became the best character Chazz!

"Still, maybe there's something about them we don't know?" Another one of Chazz's friend's stated.

'A new deck of never before seen monsters, hmm?' Bastion thought, showing a thoughtful emotion. 'That would certainly give him the edge…' he added as he sat down in a seat to where Jaden and Syrus were.

So were Jaden’s, but nobody cares about that guy. It’s not like he’s the protagonist or anything.

"Wonder where he got them." Syrus wondered.

"They look pretty sweet!" Jaden said excited. He then noticed Bastion sitting next to them. "Hey there Bastion. Tight duel out there!" Jaden exclaimed.

"Thank you." Bastion said politely.

"From the looks of things, you could be the second best duelist here!" Jaden said, confusing Bastion. "And that guy's probably gonna be the third best since you already got the second best position. Who is he anyway?"

"Kurogasa Kururugi." Bastion answered. "I've heard he has the second highest score in the written exam."

Oh, bullshit. We didn’t even see him take the test! For all we know, he could have cheated his way through the test and nobody would’ve noticed! Or batted an eyelash, given the nature of this story.

What the hell was the test on, the breast sizes of different anime girls?!

"Guys, talk later!" Syrus jumped in, turning their attention back to the duel.

"Alright, I've been itching to get into a fight!" Den–O said.

"Well, you're gonna have to wait Momotaros, because I went first." Kurogasa said.

"Why did you do that fool?!" Den–O snapped turning to Kurogasa. "You know I hate it when you summon me on your first turn! You should've gone second!"

"Well, the others aren't in my hand yet, so I didn't have any other choice now do I. Relax. You'll get to attack soon." Kurogasa assured him.

"Fine…" Den–O then turned around to face his opponent.

I don’t know if Momotaros would’ve cared about whether Kuro-kins goes first or second, but he gave that up way too easy. I imagine Momotaros would be grumbling something snide under his breath.

'That guy can talk to his Monsters too?' Jaden thought.

"I'll end my turn." Kurogasa said.

"Hmm… interesting. New cards or not, let's just see if you can beat me," the Proctor stated. "My turn! Draw!" The Proctor drew a card and added it to his hand. Take a card from the other side he continued. "I summon Red Gadget in ATK mode!" On the field, a red and silver machine appeared. Its body consisted of gears (4/ATK: 1300/DEF: 1500). "Now, Red Gadget's effect activates. When it is Normal Summoned, I can add a Yellow Gadget from my Deck to my Hand." The proctor took out his deck from his duel disk and searched through it. He then showed Kurogasa the card to prove it and then shuffled the deck. "Lastly, I put two cards face down and end my turn. You're up kid."

"My turn! Draw!" Kurogasa declared and drew his next card. "Alright, let's have another one come out. I summon Kamen Rider Den–O – Axe Form in ATK mode!" At that point, the same events as Kurogasa's first turn happened, only this time, the man pressed the yellow button letting play an old Japanese chime of some sort. The second Den–O then got in a sumo wrestler stance and swiped the box that had the ticket over the circle. "Henshin!"

AXE FORM

At that point, six pieces of yellow armor came together and a yellow mask form with an axe blade in the middle of it. "Ore no tsuyosa ni… omae ga naita!" The second Den–O said still in a stance and cracking his neck (4/ATK: 2000/DEF: 1000).

"About time you got here." Momotaros said.

"Better late than never, Momonoji." The second Den–O said.

"Now I'll activate Den–O – Axe Form special ability! Once per turn, I can decrease the ATK of one of your Monster's by 500 points! So do your thing Kintaros!"

And he can do this seemingly for free, apparently.

That's not the worst part. I remembered reading a long time ago that any 4* monster with 2000ATK or more must have a negative effect to balance it out. Fenik is spitting all over the rules!

"Consider it done!" the second Den–O, now known as Kintaros said as he took four pieces of devices and put it together to make an axe. He threw it at the Red robot, making a dent on the metal before it went right back to Kintaros.

Red Gadget: (4/ATK: 1300–800/DEF: 1500)

"Alright Momotaros, now you can attack! Take out Red Gadget!" Kurogasa said.

"Yosha! Iku ze! Iku ze! Iku ze!" Momotaros said as he used his four pieces of devices to put together to create a sword and then charged at Red Gadget.

Something to note here: Feni-kun messed up the Japanese here. There’s no space between “iku” and “ze” because “ze” is a specific verb form of “iku.” So it's supposed to be "Ikuze ikuze ikuze!"

"I activate my face down, Waboku!" The face down card on the left flipped up and showed a magenta card with a picture of three women in holy robes on it. "Until the end of this turn, I receive no damage and none of my monsters are destroyed. That was good try though kid." The three robed women appeared and Momotaros stopped in his tracks.

"Move out of the way!" Momotaros demanded.

"No use Momotaros. We can't touch life points with that trap activated this turn." Kurogasa stated. "Unless you really want to hit those robed women."

I wouldn't be surprised, considering how women are depicted in Fenik's fics.

"Damn…" Momotaros jumped back to Kurogasa's side of the field.

Again, gave up way too easy for Momotaros.

This guy has a deck full of Kamen Riders, and he doesn’t even get one of the more popular ones’ personality right!


"I'll end my turn there."

"My turn." The Proctor drew a card and stared at it. "First off I activate the Spell Card, Double Summon. For this turn, I can normal summon up to two monster. So first off I summon Yellow Gadget!" Next to Red Gadget, a similar looking monster appeared, except the color scheme was yellow (4/ATK: 1200/DEF: 1200). "Now his effect activates. When Yellow Gadget is summoned, I can add one Green Gadget from my Deck to my Hand."

Once again the Proctor looked through his deck and got his card. He then shuffled it and returned it to his duel disk. After that the Proctor grabbed another card in his hand. "Now I summon Machina Gearframe in ATK mode!" Next to the other two machines was a skinny orange and silver robot with an overly large orange helmet (4/ATK: 1800/DEF: 0). "Now I'll use his effect to add one Machina monster to my Hand from my Deck, and I choose Machina Fortress."

After adding the card to his hand, the Proctor said, "Next I equip Gearframe to my Yellow gadget." The orange machine attached itself to Red Gadget, similar to that of a screw into a bolt. "Lastly I put one card face down and end my turn."

'He's got something planned. I know it. And that facedown would probably help him too.' Kurogasa thought. "It's my turn!" Kurogasa declared and drew his next card. "I play Pot of Greed to draw two cards from my deck." Kurogasa drew his two cards. 'This works.' "I summon Kamen Rider W!"

Two silhouettes of people appeared and on their waste were belts that had two rectangular slots. One of them held up a green flash drive. The other held a purple/black one. There was a small button on each one and both of them pressed it.

CYCLONE!

JOKER!


Both silhouettes then positioned their arms holding the colored flash drives away from each other making some sort of W shape with their arms. "Henshin!" The silhouetted person with the green flash drive inserted it in one of the slots and it disappeared transporting it to the other silhouetted person's slot on the belt. The other silhouetted person placed the purple/black flash drive into the other slot and pushed the two slots to the side making a W shape.

CYCLONE!

JOKER!


A tune started to play as the first silhouetted person faded away as the second one was surrounded by wind and armor started to form around him until it has enclosed completely and now appearing before the Proctor was a man in a bodysuit that's half green and half black with a silver scarf, and red lenses with a W crest on his head (4/ATK: 1800/DEF: 1500). "Saa… omae no tsumi o kazoero!"

"Wow, that Kamen Rider looks sweet too! How many does this guy have?" Jaden wondered.

Too many.

In this story, which Kuuga up to Fourze, and then adds Wizard later on, that's fourteen. Wait until season 2 when all the Secondary Riders jump in.

"Next, I activate the spell, W coin!" A small bronze coin appeared in Kurogasa's hand. On one face of the coin, it had a W that's half red and half silver, the other face had a W too, but it was half yellow and half blue. "With this, I flip a coin, and whatever it lands will be a new form W will be in. Heads is the W in red and silver, Tails is the W in yellow and blue." Kurogasa flipped the coin, caught it and placed on the back of his hand. It revealed the red and silver W. "Awesome! It's head! Meaning, I can send Kamen Rider W to the Graveyard, and Special Summon Kamen Rider W – Heat & Metal Form from my hand!" W took out the Cyclone and Joker Memories and replaced it with a red and silver flash drive which was the Heat and Metal Memories.

HEAT!

METAL!


A different kind of tune played as W changed color and soon one half of him is red and the other half of him is silver (6/ATK: 2100/DEF: 2200).

"And they can change forms as well. Interesting." Bastion thought out loud.

Changing forms to have access to different effects is kind of a cool concept. Changing them through pure chance is probably the worst concept I’d ever seen. At least when the Arcana Force monsters used coin flips for their effects there was a certain flair given what they were based on!

Oh my God! I love the Arcana Force monsters. It was my third favorite archetype, followed by Earthbound Immortals, and The Numbers.

"Okay, now I use Den–O Axe Form's ability once again to lower the attack of Red Gadget!" Kintaros threw the axe again making a dent on the robot before it came back to him.

Red Gadget (4/ATK: 800–300/DEF: 1500)

"Now, Kamen Rider W, attack Red Gadget with Metal Branding!"

"Yosh!" the W shouted, the left eye piece flickering. "You heard the man Philip. Let's go!"

"I'm not so sure about this Shotaro," the right side flickered this time, with a different voice. "But since he told us to attack, I guess we have to." Kamen Rider W drew his staff, as well as taking the silver memory drive from his belt. He slotted it into the staff and both sides ignited in flames.

METAL! MAXIMUM DRIVE!

W then charged forward and swung the staff, with both sides shouting, "METAL BRANDING!"

"Not so fast kiddo! I activate my Trap Card, Dimensional Prison! This banishes your attacking monster!" the Proctor shouted as he revealed one of his face downs.

"That won't work. I activate Kamen Rider W Heat & Metal Form's ability! His attribute is counted as FIRE & EARTH and I'll activate his EARTH ability. Once per turn, I can negate the effects of a trap card that target this monster during the battle phase and destroy it!" Kurogasa countered.

"What!?"

Again, no cost to this effect to speak of. Feni-kun must think the word “power curve” is the shape of Alexis’s boobs.

I don't know about you, but I'll take Akiza from 5DS over Alexis any day of the week.

The red and silver warrior, ducked under the Red Gadget first and slammed one end of the staff into the trap card destroying it. He then turned around and smashed Red Gadget into pieces. "Guh!" Wind blew the Proctor back when the explosion occurred.

Kurogasa: 4000

Proctor: 2200


"I'm not done yet! Kintaros do your thing!" Kurogasa told the axe wielding warrior. The warrior nodded his head, before cracking his neck by turning it to the side. He then grabbed the pass he used to transform and swiped it in front of the belt.

FULL CHARGE!

Yellow electricity flowed from the buckle and into the axe. Getting into a crouch, Kintaros threw his axe into the air before jumping after it. He then did the splits as he grabbed it. When he came down, Den–O Axe form did an overhead chop, which was empowered by golden sparks flying out of the axe. A large explosion occurred afterwards. "Dynamic Chop," the Kamen Rider stated calmly after the attack.

Kurogasa: 4000

Proctor: 1300


When the smoke cleared it showed that Yellow Gadget was still standing, but lying next to it was a broken Machina Gearframe.

"What happened?" Momotaros asked, scratching his head in the process. "I thought the attack hit!"

"When a Union monster is equipped to a monster on the field, it is destroyed instead of the monster it is equipped to," the proctor informed the rider. Even though he said that, the proctor felt odd talking to a hologram. He just chalked it up to the boy knowing ventriloquism.

"It doesn't matter Momotaros," Kurogasa interrupted. "Just destroy that thing! I activate your effect and increase your ATK points by 400 points until the End Phase! Destroy that pile of junk!"

Kamen Rider Den–O Sword Form (4/ATK: 1800–2200/DEF: 1600)

Just like the other Den–O, Momotaros grabbed his pass and swiped it across the buckle of his belt.

FULL CHARGE!

Red energy flowed from it and into the sword. The blade then flew out of and floated in the air. "Ore no hissatsu waza! Part 2!"Momotaros then swung the bladeless sword towards the Yellow Gadget. The floating red blade followed its arc and put a large cut onto the little yellow machine. He did it one more time before doing an overhead slash destroying the monster. When the smoke cleared, Yellow Gadget was still on the field. Red energy was dancing around it.

"What?!" Momotaros and W shouted. "Hey that's cheating! Why is that thing still on the field!?" Momotaros asked.

"My other trap card," the Proctor smirked. He nodded over towards the second face down card. It was none other than Magic Cylinder. "You should know what this does right? If you don't I'll just tell you. When this card is activated, I can negate one of your attacks this turn. Not only that, I can redirect the damage back towards you." Two cylinders came out from the card. One started absorbing the energy that was surrounding his monster. When it disappeared into the cylinder, it shot out the attack toward Kurogasa. The force of the attack shot the boy back about a foot.

Kurogasa: 1800

Proctor: 1300


"Kurogasa!" all three riders shouted. The boy stood up straight and shook off the attack.

"I'm okay, I'm okay," he informed them. "I end my turn." Momotaros ATK points returned to normal.

"Oh man, that attack backfired at him." Syrus said with worry.

"Good, now I draw!" the Proctor announced. After drawing his card he showed it to the boy. "I activate Pot of Greed, which like you know lets me draw two more cards."

That card is banned, mister. I demand that you get disqualified!

Pot of Greed was banned during the time of GX, right?


Actually, no. At least not during the first season, IIRC. Later on maybe, but it was definitely banned during 5D's.

Drawing again, the Proctor smiled slowly. "First I use the effect of my Machina Fortress! By sending monsters whose levels add up to 8 from my Hand I can Special Summon it onto the field." The man discarded a card and special summoned yet another machine. This time it was a three wheeled tank machine. It was blue in color and had two mechanical hands on the each side with a large cannon on the left side. (7/ATK: 2500/DEF: 1600)

"Next I use Monster Reborn! This lets me summon a monster from either graveyard, and I choose the monster that I just sent there! Come forth, Ancient Gear Gadjiltron Dragon!" The stone floor broke open and out flew an old looking machine. It was made up of several gears that seemed rusted and it was in the shape of a dragon. (8/ATK: 3000/DEF: 2000)

Ancient Gears, Machina, and Gadgets in the same deck. Anyone else getting the feeling this proctor is pulling a Doc Crowler and using his personal deck?

Because if he is, I hope he wins.


Several of the students watching gasped. "Hey, did you know that they had that card in one of the proctor's test decks?" Alexis asked Zane. The older boy stared at the battlefield without saying a word, intent on finding out the potential of the boy on the battlefield.

"My word!" Bastion gasped.

"You're telling me!" Syrus added. "That's one big dragon!"

"Dragon, destroy his Kamen Rider Den–O Sword Form while Fortress attack's Axe Form!"

The large dragon flew up into the sky and fired down a beam of grey energy. The attack hit its mark, and Momotaros turned to golden sand.

]Kurogasa: 600

Proctor: 1300


The machine next to it gathered energy into its cannon and fired it. And Kintaros met the same fate. Kurogasa was once again shot backwards and fell onto a knee from the force of both attacks.

Kurogasa: 100

Proctor: 1300


"Looks like this duel is just about wrapped up." Chazz said smugly. "That kid ain't nothing special."

"And since we're at Main Phase 2, I'll activate the Spell, Lightning Vortex! By discarding one from my hand, I can destroy all Monsters on your side of the field!" A vortex of lightning appeared and swallowed up W, destroying him into pixels.

"W!" Kurogasa cried.

"Aw man, not only his only Monster was destroyed, he's down to his last 100 points." Syrus said with worry.

What's there to worry about? Everyone knows that whenever a protagonist is down to 500 Lifepoints or less, their chances of winning increase by 85%.

"Relax Sy, I'm sure he's got this." Jaden assured him. "He just has to draw the right card."

"And the probability of that is slim to none." Bastion added.

"I end my turn." The proctor noticed that Kurogasa had his head down and his shoulders were shaking. "Hey you can give up you know. You can always try next year." But then the proctor started to hear laughter and Kurogasa brought his head up.

"Sorry, but I don't intend to lose. I'm gonna attend this Academy and that's what I'll do!" Kurogasa said drawing his next card. He looked at it, his hand, and his facedown card. He then smirked a bit before saying…

"FINAL TURN!"

…are you for fucking real?

Final Turn was only ever a thing in Cardfight Vanguard for two seasons, and it was basically the code phrase meaning “Deus Ex Machina incoming.” It stopped happening at some point, probably around Link Joker or Legion Mate, but most definitely when Cardfight Vanguard G started, because to my knowledge, nobody ever said it again and that show (and the world) had been all the better for it.


Expect to see that dorky line, A LOT in this fic.

The people watching the duel and the proctor himself were a bit surprised and murmured amongst themselves when they heard him make such a declaration.

"'Final Turn'?" Jaden and Syrus parroted.

"Does he have the duel won already?" Bastion wondered.

"He's bluffing." Chazz scoffed. "There's not a card in his hand to help that rookie…"

"He seems a little cocky to declare the final turn." Zane said.

"That or maybe he has the cards to do it now…" Alexis stated.

He probably has, considering he’s got a full hand to work with.

"First I'll summon Kamen Rider OOO in ATK mode!" A silhouette of a man appeared and on his waist was a belt with a rectangular box that had three circular slots. The silhouetted man then took out three, one red, yellow, and green. The red coin had a picture of a hawk, the yellow coin, a tiger, and the green coin, a grasshopper. He inserted the coins in the slots, and took a scanner from the side of his belt and scanned them making three chiming sounds. "Henshin!"

TAKA!

TORA!

BATTA!

TA–TO–BA TATOBA TA–TO–BA!


The silhouetted man became surrounded by spinning colored Medals which accompanied the transformation. Images of the three Medals he was using appeared. Taka was on the top, Tora was in the middle, and Batta was at the bottom. The three images then combined into one large crest which flew backwards and into his chest. His body then became enveloped in energy which swiftly hardened into solid armor.

The helmet was mainly black, save for the red faceplate which looked like a hawk with its wings spread out in flight. On his forehead and acting as the hawk's beak was a red crystal and his head had green lens eyepieces. Running from his chin and down his neck was a red line that was connected to the top portion of the image on his chest. The torso armor had rounded shoulders that had yellow lines on them. Yellow lines ran down his arms and into the yellow gauntlets decorated with what looked like folded claws on the forearm. Lastly the legs were minimally covered with segmented green armor not unlike that of a grasshopper's legs, connected by green lines to the lower section of the crest. (4/ATK: 2000/DEF: 2000)

That’s a lot of attack and defense points for a Level 4 monster. Anyone want to explain what its effect is?

"Next I activate the Spell, OOO Roulette!" Kurogasa said next playing a card depicting a spinning wheel of various different colored crests. "The same thing happens like the W Coin, only this time, it's a die. I roll a die, and OOO will gain a new form depending on the roll. So let's do this! Go, dice roll!" He yelled. A huge die came out of the card and dropped to the ground. It rolled, for a few seconds until it landed on a 4. "Nice! It landed on a 4! With that, I can Special Summon Kamen Rider OOO – TaJaDor Form! And I'll special summon him from my Deck! Do your thing, Eiji!" OOO turned around to Kurogasa and nodded before turning back. He took out the yellow and green coins and replaced them with two new red ones. One red coin has a picture of a peacock, and the other new red coin, a condor. OOO then scanned the medals.

TAKA!

KUJAKU!

CONDOR!

TA~JA~DOR!


BGM: Time Judged All

As much as I like the song, is this really necessary?

In the words of Lord Fenik the Weeaboo, yes.

OOO became surrounded by spinning colored Medals by the spinning medals again. Images of the three Medals he was using appeared. Taka was on the top, Kujaku was in the middle, and Condor was at the bottom. The three images then combined into one large crest which flew backwards and into his chest. His body then became enveloped in energy which swiftly hardened into solid armor.

A blazing aura burst from OOO's body as the armor formed on my body and once it had completely formed. The Taka Head helmet had turned into the Taka Head Brave with a more detailed design on the helmet to resemble a bird's head with the yellow beak being a gemstone. The wing–like attachments to the helmet had become bigger and the eyes had turned red. Then there were the Kujaku Arms where the shoulder blades were winged and equipped to his legs were the Condor Leg armor. The sides of his thighs were decorated with crimson fabric which held the image of feathers when looked upon. The shin armor spread out just below the knees in more wing–like decoration. His feet though had a single yellow blade rising from the red armor over his feet with two similar blades coming from either side of his ankles. The O–Lung Circle crest was surrounded by a golden ring which sported a red emblem that resembled a phoenix (8/ATK: 2600/DEF: 2400). Everyone looked in awe.

"He just used random chance to summon a monster," Bastion stated. "I haven't heard of cards like this since Duke Devlin playing the game."

I do remember this other guy who loved to play around with cards with gambling, though. Graceful Dice was one, Skull Dice was another, a card literally called Gamble was one he used…what was his name? Joey-Jo-Jo Shabadoo or something?

Ah, he’s probably nobody of consequence.


Bakura?

What? It's been a long time since I saw the original series.


"I never heard of a card like that," Syrus noted.

I just named several off the top of my head. How was Feni-kun able to write that with a straight face?

His blood was most likely in his dick.

"What difference does it make, he's got one butt–kicking monster," Jaden exclaimed, "I feel sorry for the Proctor."

"He did know it was the final turn," Alexis mused, "The Proctor cannot get out of this one."

"Impressive, it's still not enough to beat my dragon." The Proctor said.

"You sure about that?" Kurogasa asked making the Proctor looked confused. "I activate the card I drew!" He said flipping the card over to show. "Megamorph!" Everyone gasped at this.

"No way!" Chazz exclaimed with his eye pupils small.

"Great Scott! He's won this duel!" Bastion gasped with his eyes the same as Chazz.

"Now I'll double Kamen Rider OOO – TaJaDor Form's ATK points, since my Life Points are lower than yours. A bright red aura glowed around OOO as his power doubled.

Kamen Rider OOO – TaJaDor Form (8/ATK: 2600–5200/DEF: 2400)

I have a feeling Feni-kun wrote himself into a corner and had to bail himself out with the Megamorph he either just drew or randomly had in his hand. I mean, TaJaDor has got to have some kind of significant effect that can make up for the deficit here. Otherwise, why bother summoning him with the dumbass OOO Roulette card?

"Now to finish this off, OOO, take out his Ancient Gear Gadjiltron Dragon with Prominence Drop!" Grabbing the scanner from his side, he swiped it across the Medals and three chiming noises were made.

SCANNING CHARGE!

He crossed his wrists in front of him and spread his arms to the side. Red, bird–like wings spread out from his back and took off into the air. Once high enough, he dove down a the mechanical dragon. Zooming closer, the armor on his legs ignited into red flames. He flipped over so that my feet would hit the dragon, and kept his knees bent. As he moved, the leg armor on the sides of his legs and down to his ankles flipped up so that the ankle talons were pointed forward. With the talons on his toes where they were, it looked like his legs had transformed into a pair of flaming bird talons.

"SEE–YAAAH!"

He reached the dragon and impacted it with his talons with as much force as gravity and speed allowed him to do. The force rocked the mechanical dragon, sending them to the ground. The ground came up incredibly fast and the dragon hit first, exploding.

Kurogasa: 100

Proctor: 0


BGM Ends

Ay yi yi. What a shitshow.

________________________________________

The holograms disappeared and the Proctor recovered from the last attack and stood up saying, "Congratulations applicant. Welcome to Duel Academy."

"Thank you." Kurogasa bowed.

"No way…" Chazz growled. "A guy with made–up cards won?"

I know Feni-kun wrote that because Chazz is still in the raging asshole part of his character arc, but considering everyone’s cards are technically made-up to a certain degree, I’m of the opinion Chazz is intentionally breaking the fourth wall there.

Hey, ya can't fault him for being spot on.

"Alright, he won!" Syrus cheered.

"Sure did, that proctor got nailed!" Jaden grinned.

"At least there's proper competition coming along." Bastion smiled, impressed with the duelist's victory.

"This guy is interesting," Alexis smiled, "He should be a good opponent…"

"Only time will tell." Zane said. “By the way, Alexis, did you spill something? There’s something wet on the floor under your feet.”

Ah don't worry about that Zane, she's just fantasizing about me.

Kurogasa turned around to see the crowd and they were stunned. If it was from the last attack Kurogasa made or the Final Turn declaration, he doesn't know, but he definitely got a lot of people's attention.

"You did good Kurogasa." OOO said in spirit form. "You've impressed everyone."

"Well, you're the one that did an impressive attack Eiji." Kurogasa chuckled quietly so the people won't hear him like he's talking to himself.

"True, but I think you really deserve the credit."

"I guess so…" Kurogasa shrugged. OOO disappeared and then headed back to the stands.

________________________________________

Right below them, in the VIP seats for Academy faculty members, the teachers watched as Kurogasa left the dueling arena. "Looks like we've got a pretty good crop this year." One of them said.

"Yes, indeed." Another teacher agreed.

Also right next to them, another teacher sat there silent not paying attention to the other teachers' talk. He's male, but could easily be mistaken as a woman if you didn't know who he was. He wore a blue blazer similar to Chazz but had some gold shoulder plates and trimmings along with a ruffled pink collar. He also had his blonde hair in a ponytail and wore makeup. This was Dr. Vellian Crowler, headmaster of the Obelisk Blue Boys Dorm.

'Another rookie for the Academy.' He thought dismissively. 'I'm just glad that this was the last duel, otherwise there could be more slackers coming in, too.'

He was about to get up and leave when…

"I'm sorry to interrupt." A man in a black, business suit appeared stopping Crowler from leaving. "But one last applicant has arrived to take his exam, Mr. Crowler."

"Excuse me? Did you just call me, 'mister'?" Crowler scowled.

I really want to make an “assuming my gender” quip here, but that’s low-hanging fruit.

Hey, CuChu...

Check your privilege.


*snip*

Back with Jaden, Syrus, and Bastion, they were waiting around until Kurogasa showed up.

"Hey man, that was one sweet duel!" Jaden said excited running up to Kurogasa.

"Thanks." Kurogasa said. "Name's Kurogasa Kururugi."

"Jaden Yuki!" He said and the boys shook hands.

"I'm Syrus Truesdale." The light–blue haired introduced.

"And I'm Bastion Misawa, the duelist that went before you went to duel."

"Nice to meet you guys." Kurogasa said back.

"By the way, those Kamen Rider cards you showed were sweet and especially how you knew it was the final turn when you drew that last card!"

"Yes, I wonder how you knew exactly that." Bastion added.

"Well, after looking at my hand on the turn and can see without a doubt I can win with either one card or more, that's when I know." Kurogasa shrugged.

Or, you know, he’s psychic.

Which is the only reason it worked in Cardfight Vanguard, the whole plot of the first season and Asia Circuit was that some of the characters were literally able to get a vision the card that would let them win a game thanks to some mystical wa-hey.


I'll chalk it up to Kuro cheating.

"I see." Bastion said.

"Jaden Yuki, please report to Dueling Field # 4." The PA announced again. "Jaden Yuki, to Dueling Field # 4."

"Go time!" Jaden said as he got ready to go. "Wish me luck, guys."

"Wait! Before you go, what did you mean by me being the second best duelist and Kurogasa being the third best? Who's the first?" Bastion asked.

Jaden pointed his thumb to himself. "Why yours truly!" He grinned. "It's what I'm best at." He then continued his stride down to the exam floor.

"Third–best?" Kurogasa asked confused looking at Bastion. Internally, however, he was seething. Mock my pride…!

"Long story." Bastion answered.

"Jaden sure is confident though." Syrus noticed.

"He's going to need to be." Bastion said, pointing to the exam field in question. "Look who's he up against…" Bastion, Syrus, and Kurogasa looked to see the ponytailed Headmaster.

"Who's she?" Kurogasa asked.

"He is Dr. Crowler; he's in charge of these exams and also the head of the top dorm in the Academy." Bastion replied.

"That's a guy?!" Kurogasa gaped.

"Yes. And I've heard that last year, he cut a third of the applicants they called him either 'Mr.' or 'Mrs.'."

"Wow…"

By the way, that’s strictly something that was original to the dub. In the sub, nobody gave two tits in a gravy about Crowler’s gender.

Why did 4Kids have to make Crowler such a dick? Well, more so than the original, anyway.


Because 4Kids.

"It's about to start." Syrus said gaining their attention.

On the field, Dr. Crowler was being prepped and ready to duel. The duel disk he was equipped with looked as though it was crafted into his blazer. The part that held his graveyard and deck slots was strapped to his chest, while the duel tray looked as though it was being held up like a guitar. In fact, the duel tray itself looked almost like a rock guitar itself. Jaden rose up from a platform and was on the duel field

"Alright, test time!" Crowler said looking at Jaden.

Didn’t we nominally agree to skip these? This whole fic is mostly retreading old territory.

Yes, yes we did. And that's what we're going to do.

"So, son, your name?"

Jaden stood at attention like a soldier and replied, "Uh… Jaden, Jaden Yuki."

"Well 'Uh, Jaden Yuki', I'm Doctor Vellian Crowler, Department Chair and Techniques Professor here at Duel Academy."

"Wow." Jaden said, rubbing the back of his neck with a hearty laugh. "A Department chair, I had no idea. From the way you were dressed I thought you were some kind of Academy mascot." Crowler sweat dropped at that comment.

"Now that he mentions it," The boy wearing glasses next to Chazz said.

"This guy's got some lip, huh Chazz?" The other said.

Chazz just looked on as he didn't like what Jaden was saying to Dr. Crowler.

"Duel Vest On!" Crowler said activating it and drew his five cards. Jaden was just amazed by the machinery.

"Hey, that's some sweet gear, teach. How do I get one of those?" Jaden asked.

"Oh, a lot of hard work, high marks and dedication." Crowler answered. 'Of course, you have to be accepted first. Which I will make sure you don't.'

"Well, I'm ready!" Jaden said activating his duel disk.

"So let's duel!" Both players shouted as both players drew their starting hands.

Well that's the first chapter of Kamen Rider GX. I apologise for the disconneted mock, but I feel it would be redundant to comment on the actual plot of GX.

Until next time everyone.


Yeah, we all decided that we may as well not retread old territory. It's not like anything changes, anyway. Crowler gets his fancy ass beat and Jaden wins. What else is there to say? Other than this story sucks Bazoo the Soul Eater's testicles.

Whatever. On to Chapter 2!


--------------------
"I am the bone of my snark...
Courage is my body,
and logic is my blood.
I have read over a thousand fanfics.
Unknown to love,
Nor known to hate,
Have withstood great mindscrews to read many fanfics...
Yet those eyes will never see anything again...
So hear me, as I pray...
UNLIMITED MOCK WORKS!"


QUOTE (Truth)
"Who am I? One name you might have for me is the world, or you might call me the universe, or perhaps God, or perhaps the Truth. I am All, and I am One. So, of course, this also means that I am you. I am the truth of your despair, the inescapable price of your boastfulness."


Current Mocks

Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's Tag Force 4: Misty Storyline (DISCONTINUED)

The War of Megazords VS Gundams (ON HIATUS: 4/27 Complete)

Ultima: The Crossing of Universes (ON HIATUS: 5/45 Complete)

World League of Cartoon Quidditch (In Progress: 4/74 Complete)

LPs

Let's Play SD Gundam G Generation Overworld! (Current Mission: A-2)
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Dashguy


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post Dec 11 2016, 08:32 AM
QUOTE
"FINAL TURN!"

…are you for fucking real?

Final Turn was only ever a thing in Cardfight Vanguard for two seasons, and it was basically the code phrase meaning “Deus Ex Machina incoming.” It stopped happening at some point, probably around Link Joker or Legion Mate, but most definitely when Cardfight Vanguard G started, because to my knowledge, nobody ever said it again and that show (and the world) had been all the better for it.


Expect to see that dorky line, A LOT in this fic.

The Vanguard Wikia has an article about that line.

QUOTE
"Final Turn" (ファイナルターン Fainarutān) is an expression used by many prominent Vanguard fighters in the anime, either occasionally or consistently. It was first used by Toshiki Kai, and has since been used by multiple other characters. So far in the anime, the first person to have used this phrase is Kai although it is unknown whether the phrase originated from him or not. Though Kai is the one that made this phrase famous, he does not use it in every game that he wins. Kai's Final Turn call is usually accompanied by his theme.

Final Turn is a declaration of assured victory, claiming that the user will win the fight in the current turn. It is called either before (Kai and most others) or after (Ren) the Stand and Draw Phase. With Aichi Sendou, it has become synonymous with his use of PSY Qualia and later his use of the Shadow Paladin deck.

It should be noted that near the end of the anime's first season, Final Turn acquired rather negative connotations. Aichi used it in a cruel, derogatory manner to demean his opponents before finishing them off while under the influence of PSY Qualia, and even Kai was implied to have begun using the phrase after Ren used it in a similar state. Kai mostly stopped using the phrase after he became less cold and single-minded about Vanguard, most importantly after Aichi fell under the influence of PSY Qualia. It was used again sparsely during the second season, most importantly by Leon Soryu, who also possessed PSY Qualia. In season 3, it is repeatedly used mostly by Reverse fighters.

It must also be noted that using the phrase in a real life environment is frowned upon, and is even a punishable offense during some tournaments.

Bold mine. So yeah, our protagonist is being a disrespectful dick.

Also, you guys forgot about the author's notes.

QUOTE
Alright, there we go! My first GX chapter is now complete! Hope you liked it! Oh, and I'll be putting up the deck list on my profile too. So go on and review!

(1) – I… have arrived!

(2) – My strength… has made you cry!

(3) – Alright!

(4) – Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!

(5) – Now… count up your sins!

(6) – My hissatsu attack!

No wonder he writes those lines in Japanese, they're a sure fire way to make people spit on your face and call you a gigantic faggot.

And what does "hissatsu" mean, you fucking dork?
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truthordeal


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post Dec 11 2016, 11:51 PM
QUOTE (Dashguy @ Dec 11 2016, 11:32 AM) *
No wonder he writes those lines in Japanese, they're a sure fire way to make people spit on your face and call you a gigantic faggot.

And what does "hissatsu" mean, you fucking dork?


Hissatsu is kind of like "death blow." It's an attack that presumably has a certainty that it'll finish off an opponent. Which is just asking to be made into an ironic catch at some point, though I doubt that'll happen.


--------------------
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CuChulainn1290


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post Dec 12 2016, 12:13 PM
QUOTE (Dashguy @ Dec 11 2016, 08:32 AM) *
The Vanguard Wikia has an article about that line.


Bold mine. So yeah, our protagonist is being a disrespectful dick.


Wow. I only knew about Final Turn because of what I knew from the show, but I was legit not expecting it to be an actual BM.

QUOTE (Dashguy @ Dec 11 2016, 08:32 AM) *
Also, you guys forgot about the author's notes.


No wonder he writes those lines in Japanese, they're a sure fire way to make people spit on your face and call you a gigantic faggot.

And what does "hissatsu" mean, you fucking dork?


And that's kinda why I, at least, left off the translations. Those phrases you saw, except maybe for "yosh!", as it's a more general statement, are statements that the Kamen Riders typically say in their respective shows, so it's not Feni-kun trying to be a weaboo. I think everyone can agree he's already succeeded there.

QUOTE (truthordeal @ Dec 11 2016, 11:51 PM) *
Hissatsu is kind of like "death blow." It's an attack that presumably has a certainty that it'll finish off an opponent. Which is just asking to be made into an ironic catch at some point, though I doubt that'll happen.


Incidentally, "Ore no hissatsu waza" is the catchphrase for Momotaros/Kamen Rider Den-O when he executes his Rider Slash, so it at least makes sense.


--------------------
"I am the bone of my snark...
Courage is my body,
and logic is my blood.
I have read over a thousand fanfics.
Unknown to love,
Nor known to hate,
Have withstood great mindscrews to read many fanfics...
Yet those eyes will never see anything again...
So hear me, as I pray...
UNLIMITED MOCK WORKS!"


QUOTE (Truth)
"Who am I? One name you might have for me is the world, or you might call me the universe, or perhaps God, or perhaps the Truth. I am All, and I am One. So, of course, this also means that I am you. I am the truth of your despair, the inescapable price of your boastfulness."


Current Mocks

Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's Tag Force 4: Misty Storyline (DISCONTINUED)

The War of Megazords VS Gundams (ON HIATUS: 4/27 Complete)

Ultima: The Crossing of Universes (ON HIATUS: 5/45 Complete)

World League of Cartoon Quidditch (In Progress: 4/74 Complete)

LPs

Let's Play SD Gundam G Generation Overworld! (Current Mission: A-2)
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000rga


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post Dec 17 2016, 03:47 PM
QUOTE
"I don't know," Zane replied, "Never expected an applicant to come with a gimmick."


I... Blu... Wha...

This isn't even pot calling the kettle black. This is a plant calling a single tree in an entire forest green!

Everyone has their own gimmick in Yu-Gi-Oh, either in their looks/personality or their decks. Need I mention the American stereotype, the bug collector and his dinosaur-obsessed friend, or even the manchild whose deck consists of cartoonified versions of monsters?

I'm not sure what Zane meant by this, but if he meant it to be "I didn't expect someone to arrive with some sort of gimmick", then I'm at a loss for words.

Seriously, never since "that nun's outfit is very revealing!" from Awakening of Kiva did one line throw me off.
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CuChulainn1290


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post Dec 30 2016, 06:40 PM
Hey CuChu, me and Dashguy have added our comments to this chapter.

Yup. Mock is done, Christmas is over, my new laptop is on its way, and I've had a raging head cold for the last couple of days. Heeeeere we go!

Chapter 2: Welcome to Duel Academy!

It's been three days since the entrance exams. It was early in the morning and Kurogasa was at his house and was just about ready to go to the Kaiba Dome where the helicopter will take them to Duel Academy. He was walking in his living room with his luggage which consist of extra clothes like shirts and a pairs of pants along with bathroom accessories, along with a backpack of minor school supplies like pencils, erasers, notebooks, etc.

A most riveting way to start a chapter, indeed.

EPIC PACKING ACTION!

and of course his duel disk and deck in tow and was about to head out the door until he saw a standing picture frame on a small table next to his couch. It had a picture of him as a kid all smiling a goofy smile and next to him was practically an older version of himself. He solemnly looked at the picture as he took it.

'Dad… I'll find you… wherever you are…' Kurogasa thought.

Have you tried your local whorehouse?

Just then, a faint image of OOO showed up.

"Kurogasa. We need to get going." OOO said.

"Yeah, I know…" Kurogasa said still looking at the photo.

"You're still thinking about your father aren't you?" Kurogasa nodded. "Don't worry; I'm sure he's out there somewhere."

Enjoying the finest whores his pitiful salary can buy him.

I wouldn't exactly classify $5 back alley whores as 'the finest whores around'.

"I know, but… it's already been three years since he's vanished and still… nothing…"

The road of the whore connoisseur is a long one, son.

Just then Momotaros, Kintaros, and W, appeared in spirit form too.

"Oi, there's no need to get mopey Kurogasa," Momotaros reassured him. "With us by your side there is nothing you can't do. We're at our climax from that start!"

Unless he finds himself dealing with a bunch of gangbangers who don’t fancy solving their disputes with card games.

"Momonoji is right," Kintaros stated. "We will find your dad no matter what."

"You also have Philip here using the Gaia library from time to time so you have nothing to fear Kurogasa," the left side of W, previously named Shoutaro, stated.

"Yes, with my information we'll find your father in no time," the right side of W, Philip, agreed.

Are we really going with this plot point that all the Kamen Rider Duel Spirits have access to all the abilities they had on the show?

I mostly bring this up because Phillip was supercomputer-levels of intelligent who had access to information on everything on the planet.


"You see Kurogasa," OOO once again spoke, "You have nothing to fear. We, the cards your father made, will stand by you through and through. Not only that," OOO turned his head towards the Kamen Rider deck as a faint glow of multicolored light was emitted from it, "all the others will help too."

Hey asshole! Edo Phoenix called! He wants his character backstory and motivation back!

Oh good, so it's not just me. Seriously though, why does he keep coming back to this plot point? This is not the first fic where his parents are either dead or not around.

But that would mean that Fennik would have to come up with his own material. And being original is to much work.

Kurogasa smiled at their words. The duel spirits within his deck, his friends, were all cheering for him and supporting him. What sort of guy would stay sad at that? "You guys are right. This isn't a time to be sad. I got into Duel Academy! Let's go there and kick some ass! I'm sure dad would be proud of me!" The four current spirits cheered and nodded their heads before disappearing. Turning his head back to the picture once more he gave it a confident smile. "I'll find you dad and the cards you made will help me on the way." Grabbing his cards and putting them into the deck holder on his belt, Kurogasa grabbed his luggage and left the house he's lived in.

Am I the only one picturing this guy living on a run-down apartment, alone, talking to a bunch of cards he made himself with crayons salvaged from the trash and fantasizing about the events of the previous chapter due to starvation?

So like Larry and the Real Girl, but crappier, then.

We’re skipping the next section since it’s basically the Principal’s introductory speech plus a small chat between Jaden, Syrus and Bastion copy pasted from the show with Kenny’s useless comments in the middle.

It didn't take long for Bastion and Kurogasa to find their dorm seeing as it was really… yellow. It can't be explained much clearer than that. Bastion and Kurogasa soon found their rooms which were actually next door. After unlocking his room with the key he got as soon as they got to the island, Kurogasa was met by a nice room whose walls are white with a full sized bed, a dresser, a closet, a good–sized desk with a computer and lamp,

Calling it now; that computer will be infected with a virus within a week, due to Kuro downloading Yu-Gi-Oh hentai.

and a window with a nice view. It even had a small fridge and stove for cooking. His luggage was all there thanks to staff who dealt with it.

Momotaros appeared in spirit form again. "Hey, this place ain't so bad." He commented. "Just like home."

Minus the whole "having to wrestle food from the rats" thing.

"I have to say, this room is not for a prince such as myself!" a voice exclaimed. Kurogasa wanted to face palm when he saw yet another spirit appear. It was yet another Rider from his deck, one that gets irritating from time to time. This one was in a golden body suit, with pieces of white and silver armor on his forearms, feet and legs. Over his chest was a simple silver breastplate with train tracks going down the middle. His helmet was white, similar to that of the Den–O's and the visors in front of the eyes were in the fashion of two cyan colored swan wings. This was Kamen Rider Den–O – Wing Form.

I’m calling him “Kamen Rider Fabulous”

Well, considering this is what he looks like, that's actually really accurate.

"Sieg…"

Heil!

Hey, I think I found a new nickname for the guy.


"There also isn't a butler around to help me! My word I don't think I can live in this sort of place again." Suddenly Momotaros smacked him on the back of the head.

"Well, no one asked you, tebayaro (1)!" he shouted. "Stop acting all high and mighty again!"

According to the author’s notes, that means “chicken wing bastard”. You know, there are certain cases in which I can accept the use of foreign words. Like, for example, if there isn’t a proper way to translate it. But this shit? This is nothing but pure weeaboo crap.

Everything Fennik writes, is nothing but weeaboo crap.

"And besides, you liked my room." Kurogasa said to Sieg.

"That one was nicely furnished," Sieg interrupted. "Same goes for the house. But this…this place is a dump! Where are all the pretty pictures of me…? I mean us! Where are our couches? Where is the TV?" Sieg continued to rant on and on, with Kurogasa ignoring him.

"Man, I better make it feel like home otherwise, I'll go nuts just hearing Sieg rant on." Kurogasa groaned. So with that, he set to work, placing various posters of Kamen Riders all over the room and hanging all of his clothes including extra blazers and pants in case, the one he's wearing got dirty. He did all of that in a few minutes.

Now all he needs to do is find a place to store his dirty socks.

Which just begs the question of why posters of the Kamen Riders exist when when basically nobody knew what they were until just now. And that was if they were paying attention to his previous duel.

"Now, does this room suit you?" Kurogasa asked Sieg again.

"Better," Sieg commented. When he saw Kurogasa sigh, the Kamen Rider decided to stop. "It is suitable for now. I shall see you again later Kurogasa." After that the spirit went back to rest within his card. Momotaros, who was still out, scoffed.

"Che, I don't see how you can handle that one. He gets so annoying." Momotaros muttered.

"Just do something he likes and he'll stop bothering you," Kurogasa shrugged.

That just gave me an idea. Let me know what you think. You have this guy who desperately needs money and decides to try his luck with Duel Monsters. He gets himself a bunch of rare and powerful monster cards, really cheap, from some shady vendor. But there’s a catch: the cards have spirits inside them, and they are quirky, demanding and, overall, insufferable. So, not only he has to learn the game and polish his skills, but also has to find a way to placate the spirits if he wants to use the cards, all within some time limit to pay his rent or whatever.

Props, man. I'd read the hell out of that.

That does sound interesting...but the problem would be that a "talented" author would turn the spirits into generic anime tropes, just so they can create some WACKY ANIMU HIJINKZ!

When he heard knocking on the door. "I'll see you later Momotaros." The spirit nodded and disappeared. Opening the door, Kurogasa saw Bastion waiting for him.

"All settled in, I take it?" Bastion asked.

"Yep." Kurogasa answered. "So, Bastion, what's up next on our list after settling in?"

"There is the Welcome Dinner for us. And that's not going to be a while until tonight."

"Sweet. That means a lot of free time for me to check out the whole school. Lots of exploring to do, people to meet, and hopefully duel." He said as he took his Duel Academy issued duel disk out of his backpack.

"Happy hunting then." Bastion grinned.

---

So for the rest of the morning heading, Kurogasa explored the campus, and he's got to admit, it was pretty impressive. He's been also meeting other people too. Some were friendly, others not so much. He's heard of stuff about lower classmen about discriminated by the upperclassmen, especially when it comes to the Obelisk Blue students. In fact he's heard from Bastion while on the way to Academy Island, about the dorms and how they work.

Love how he's just explaining this to us outright, and not having Kuro-kins actually get an explanation from someone else in the school. Like, I imagine this being told by some fat koala kid that spends most of his time either eating or sleeping while collecting cards that have some kind of cute monster, like koalas or something.

He's been told that the Obelisk Blue dorm is mostly made up of students who have connections and are rich. Luxurious interior design, high–quality rooming, and finer food are offered as well. As for the Ra Yellow dorm, the one Kurogasa was in, were the ones with the second best qualities. Which would explain why his dorm room was like a regular bedroom you would find in any house. Then there's the Slifer Red dorm, where students are categorized as being the weakest duelists among the dorms, and the room quality is only as good as having an apartment complex. They have very weak decks and poor strategies which cause them to lose most of the time. In some cases students from this dorm have never won a duel at all and drop out. He was a little disgusted by this social discrimination the school has, but he's gonna have to bear with it during his three years here, and during those years, he'll prove to those who are snobs and elitists that social status isn't everything.

Oh, I'm sorry that the best duelists get the better dorm. I'm sorry that the dorms function like how society works. I'm sorry that no one is here to pamper your privileged backside by shoving a silver spoon up your ass. If you want the best dorm, then actually work to get there.

Go eat a dick Kurogasa!


That’s fucking rich coming from the dude with father who was a card designer and left him a bunch of one-of-a-kind cards.

Makes you wonder why someone who scored 2nd in the written exam only got Ra Yellow. I bet you anything daddy running off to buy hookers bankrupted his mother and she had to sell skin soup just to pay his tuition.

Putting that aside right now, Kurogasa continued to explore around the campus. He needed to know the area well, otherwise he'll always get lost.

"Wow. This place never ceases to amaze me." Kurogasa said impressed by the inside of the Academy. He didn't notice three girls walking in the opposite direction. One of them is Alexis, a red head, and the third girl having black hair. He kept on walking until he bumped into Alexis, making the latter fall on her butt.

"OW!" Alexis cried.

"Huh?" Kurogasa said before looking down at who he bumped into. It was a girl around his age maybe a year younger and has long sandy blonde hair and she was on Obelisk Blue. "Oh, I'm sorry! Didn't see you there!" He quickly apologized.

"Hey, what's wrong with you?!" The red headed girl snapped.

"Yeah, watch where you're going!" The black hair girl added.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to. It was an accident." Kurogasa apologized raising his hands in defense and then offered his hand to Alexis. "You okay?"

"I'm fine, thank you." Alexis said looking up at him. At that point, Kurogasa blushed seeing her face. To him, she's the cutest girl he's ever seen. As Kurogasa helped her up to her feet, he attempted to talk to her, but can't. He opened his mouth, only to close it again when he couldn't seem to find the right words to say. This happened several more times as he really tried to speak to her. The girl in the black hair and Alexis giggled at his actions causing him to stop. 'I can talk to pretty girls back home, yet I can't seem to ask this girl for her name!' he cursed himself mentally.

I’m pretty sure cashiers are contractually obligated to talk to you.

Mate, Akiza from 5DS is FAR superior to Alexis.

I know I've said this before, but I want to get it through Kurogasa's thick skull.


Incidentally, I agree. Blair was always best girl. At least she did stuff.

"Do you want something?" the red head asked seeing as Kurogasa was just staring at Alexis.

"Jasmine don't be mean now," Alexis told her friend. The blonde then turned to Kurogasa who still seemed to be struggling to find the words he wanted to say. She gave him a smile and decided it was time to go see the other new freshmen in her dorm. "See you later new guy. Mindy, Jasmine let's go."

As they passed him, Kurogasa found his voice. "Wait!" he called after them. The three girls turned around and looked at him curiously. "I'm Kurogasa Kururugi, what's your name?"

"Alexis Rhodes."

"Alexis, huh? Nice name. Uh… do think you could show me around the island? I'm new here and I don't want to get lost." The girl with black hair, Mindy, giggled while Jasmine rolled her eyes.

Was Jasmine always this bitchy?

Maybe, but she was also in all of two episodes anyway. Personally, I was thinking she'd be like manga Alexis, trying to earn respect as a duelist and idolizing Mai Valentine as a kid. Hence why she plays Harpies in the Tag Force games.

Alexis on the other hand just smiled.

"Maybe next time, Kurogasa. We have to go see our new classmates in Obelisk Blue. See you around." The trio then left Kurogasa alone again and caused him to look after her.

"Alexis huh? A pretty name for a pretty girl I guess." He said to himself, but then sighed. "Man, that was embarrassing."

"You're slipping up Kurogasa." A new voice teased. A spirit appeared next to him. He was similar to Momotaros, Kintaros, and Sieg, but his armor was blue, and his face mask looked his like a turtle. This was Den–O – Rod Form or Urataros.

Heheheh, you said rod.

"U–Urataros! You saw that!?" Kurogasa exclaimed.

"Of course I did. I have to say I'm a bit ashamed of you. What happened to all the hard work we had training you to speak to girls?"

Hey now, out of the ten, only two pepper sprayed him and one called the police; the rest just walked away with a look of disgust. I would count that as a success.

Urataros is the last person I'd want teaching me how to pick up girls. He's basically a con man in a blue turtle suit.

Though if he's managed to get girls to stick around this guy without running for the hills at first, this Imagin may be the greatest makeover artist who ever lived.


"Um… she was so pretty that I forgot all about it?" The blue rider shook his head.

"I think we need to redo you training on that."

"What?! Oh come on!"

"He's right you know." A new voice said. This time the last version of Den–O showed up. He had purple armor on and his mask is a purple V–mask. This was Den–O – Gun Form or Ryuutaros.

GASP! There's a gun in this fic?! 4Kids needs to censor that shit!

"Not you too, Ryuutaros!" Kurogasa whined.

"Hehehe, you looked stupid Kuro–chan!" Ryuutaros giggled while doing a little jig. Just like Sieg, Ryuutaros was a little annoying but that is due to the fact that he had the mentality of a 7 year old and to an extent he can tolerate it. "You kept opening and closing your mouth like a fish!"

Jesus Christ. How many of these cretins are out there?

Too many in my book.

Thankfully, there's only the five: Momotaros, Urataros, Kintaros, Ryutaros, and Sieg. Though if you wanted a reason why you never want to cram too many personalities in one story, well...

"Yes Ryuutaros, I know I looked stupid," Kurogasa grumbled. He along with the two riders then decided to explore the school.

"Sugoi ne (2)! This place is soooo cool! So high tech! Are we going to be living here now Kuro–chan?"

"Yes Ryuuta, this is where we are going to live."

"Yay!"

I’m calling this one “Kamen Rider Retard”

To be fair, you did just miss him saying Ryotaros had the mentality of a 7 year old. Not that I blame you, Feni-kun basically blitzed his character description right in only a line or two.

"Although," Urataros spoke and Kurogasa could hear the complaint coming, "we could use more girls around here."

"You and your girls Urataros."

They don’t call him “Rod Form” for nothing.

Which is probably the greatest summation of Urataros's character I've heard. Nice, man.

As they explored he took note of the places he went through, that way he'd be sure to remember it. He continued walking around until he noticed something up ahead. He saw a large duel arena and in there, he saw Jaden and Syrus and three male Obelisk Blue students. By the looks of it, the male Obelisks were smack talking to Jaden and Syrus. "That can't be good…" Kurogasa said grimacing his face.

Hey, I'm all for a roasting for Jaden.

Although I will admit that he's better then that steaming pile of dogshit Yuma.


Preach it, brotha! *snaps fingers like a hipster*

"Better reel them out of there." Urataros said.

"You don't have to tell me twice." Kurogasa said as Urataros and Ryuutaros disappeared.

We must save those kids from hearing mildly hurtful words!

He walked inside the arena, and the Obelisk Blue student wearing glasses saw him.

"Hey, it's that kid with those Kamen Rider cards." The boy with the glasses said recognizing Kurogasa. "Hey Chazz, it's that kid with those Kamen Rider cards who did that Final Turn thing on that proctor!"

"Huh?" Jaden and Syrus asked simultaneously as they turned around and saw Kurogasa coming their way.

"Is it now?" the black haired kid, presumably named Chazz smirked as he turned to see Kurogasa. "Well, it looks like he's a Ra Reject. Better than the Slifer Slackers anyway."

"Obelisk Blue doesn't sound much promising either if people like you three are in it." Kurogasa scoffed. "You three are just a bunch of rich snobs that have more talking skill than dueling."

Says the guy who has an overpowered, one-of-a-kind deck.

This guy really does need to read "A Clean, Well-Lighted Place" by Ernest Hemingway.

"What did you say?!" a bulkier Obelisk Blue student growled as Chazz looked like he was about to blow a gasket.

"Ouch!" Jaden laughed. Not even a scathing glare from Chazz seemed to be able to crush his amusement.

I love how, in his own little power fantasy, the guy still sucks ass at comebacks.

"Do you even know who you're talking to?" the glasses kid frowned. "That's Chazz Princeton! He made the top of the class at duelist prep school! People say he's got what it takes to become the next King of Games!"

I admit I prefer Manjoume’s manga incarnation over the anime one, but even so, the guy is probably one of the best duelists in the show, if not the best.

Hey, I may be the Ultimate Sex God of Project AFTER, but I have no problem being the bottom bitch for Chazz.

I always did hate that Chazz always got such a bum rap from the fandom.

"Impossible…" Jaden scoffed crossing his arms with a look of indifference on his face.

"What?" Chazz growled at Jaden.

"I said impossible because that's gonna be me!" Jaden grinned pointing his thumb at himself.

"And you're a first year, right Chazz?" Kurogasa asked.

"The best there is!"

"Then, you're the same as all of us." Kurogasa shrugged. "I just don't have the money or many connections to have Obelisk Blue handed to me on a silver platter.

Just a unique deck filled with powerful cards my father left me, nothing more.

And if you're the impression of the next King of Games, then why would anyone want the title?"

Seto Kaiba is one of the biggest dicks in the series and fans love him, just saying.

I think part of that is due to the fact that the Blue-Eyes White Dragon is a fucking legend.

"You'd better watch your mouth, Ra Reject!" the bulkier Obelisk threatened.

"Or what?" the Bakugan duelist asked,

Bakugan?! I thought this was a Kamen Rider crossover.

Speaking of which, a long time ago, Fenik wrote a fic based off of the Fortune Cup/Dark Signers arcs of Yu-Gi-Oh 5DS where, spoilers, he shipped himself with Akiza. His deck featured a lot of Bakugan monsters in it, which is where I think he got the mix up from. However, Fenik deleted the fic for some reason.


That does tend to happen, in my experience.

"Just because you Obelisks got higher status now, doesn't mean you all could be equal or actually be beneath me or anyone else in an actual duel."

"Then let's prove it right now." Chazz challenged. "One of my guys against you. I still want to show that Slifer Slacker that I'm the best."

"What's going on here?" A voice called. They all turned to see another Obelisk walking towards them. It was Alexis Rhodes.

"Who's that?" Syrus wondered.

"Uh… hey Alexis." Kurogasa greeted.

"You know this Ra Reject Alexis?" Chazz asked in surprise.

"Chazz, you need to stop insulting the other houses, your making our house look bad."

Are we in Hogwarts, all of a sudden?

Chazz scoffed before turning back to Kurogasa. "What do you say Reject? Up for a duel against one of my men?"

"Alright, fine. We can kill some time before the Welcome Dinners start. It's not gonna be 'till tonight and I'll let your flunkies do the work." Kurogasa waved off. "Makes no difference to me…"

"Are you sure?" Alexis asked.

"It's okay Alexis, I can take them on." Kurogasa assured her. "So who's game?"

Aren’t you going to ask Jaden if he’s sure about facing one of the top duelists in Obelisk Blue, Alexis? What’s that? “Fuck him”? Okay!

That's because she only cares about Kuro-kins, GG. Kinda silly to assume that Alexis would care anything about Jaden.

"Me!" the bulkier Obelisk shouted. "The name's Raizou! And I can't wait to show you up for the weaker duelist you are. I'll beat you so bad; they'll demote you to Slifer."

"At least at the end of the day, I'm not you." the Kamen Rider duelist stated, "A duelist who really doesn't need to be in high graces."

Your faux humility is starting to piss me off.

I think he meant to say "high places," but he definitely shown he's a duelist not in high graces, that's for damn sure.

The bulkier Obelisk and Kurogasa got on the duel arena stage. Kurogasa got his deck and puts on his Duel Academy issue duel disk. "Henshin!" Kurogasa said as he inserted the deck inside the deck slot and the disk went from standby to active. Both players then drew their starting hand.

"DUEL!"

Raizou: 4000

Kurogasa: 4000


"This is going to be sweet." the glasses wearing Obelisk student snickered.

"That Ra Reject won't know what hit him." Chazz chuckled.

They twirled their moustaches sinisterly.

"Seniority goes first!" Raizou stated. "Draw!" The Obelisk thug studied his hand before making a decision. "First off I summon Marauding Captain in ATK mode!" A middle aged man with blond hair appeared on the field. He had a sword in each hand and was wearing steal knight armor on his body. Behind him was a billowing red cape (3/ATK: 1200/DEF: 400) "Next his ability activates. When he is Normal Summoned, I can Special Summon a level 4 or lower monster from my hand. I choose to summon a second Marauding Captain!" A carbon copy of the knight appeared next to the first one. "Lastly I put a card face down and end my turn. Let's see you get through that Reject!"

"That's not good. He's got Kurogasa in an ATK lockdown." Alexis stated.

Don't you mean "attack lockdown?" ATK lockdown looks like he's only locked down by monsters with 1200 ATK.

"What's that?" Syrus asked.

"Marauding Captain's ability is that Kurogasa cannot target Raizou's Warrior monsters for attacks, except him. But he's got both of the same Monsters on the field. He can't attack neither one."

Wow, such a unique strategy. I've only seen that one around a million times.

Not to mention one easily dealt with. Take out one with an effect and the other gets crushed.

"It's my turn! Draw!" Kurogasa declared drawing his sixth card. 'Okay, he's got me in an attack lock down, so I can't do much.' Kurogasa thought.

"Kuro–chan! Get me on the field! Get me on the field!" Ryuutaros cried out from his card.

Kurogasa looked at it and then smirked. 'And of course there's you Ryuuta. Alright then, I'll get you on the field.'

"Yay!"

This shit is giving me flashbacks to “Innocence Proves to be a Dangerous Thing”, and you won’t like me when I’m having flashbacks about that thing.

Oh dear...hopefully this story won't bring back memories of that GX story that features that arrogant dickhead of a protagonist, who uses the Signer Dragons.

"Alright, for my first move, I'll summon Kamen Rider Den–O – Gun Form in ATK mode!" Kurogasa declared. A man in a black bodysuit like silver rail lines appeared with the Den–O belt on his waist. He pressed the purple button and an electronic hip hop tune started playing. He then swiped the box that had the ticket over the belt. "Henshin!"

GUN FORM

Six pieces of purple armor appeared and attached to his torso, his purple armor in a V shape and his purple mask in a V shape too. "Omae taosukeba ii wo ne (3)?" Ryuutaros asked as he did a little dance jig before spinning around once and then pointing his hand at Raizou like a gun. "Kotae wa kiitanai (4)!" (4/ATK: 1600/DEF: 1200).

Let’s see, the author’s notes say that means “mind if I defeat you?”. Really now? Can you come up with something even remotely badass?

That's actually Ryutaros's catchphrase from the show.

"Ryuutaros, attack the idiot in the blue."

Hey there, that's being offensive to the Obelisk Blue player. I demand that you apologize to him!

"You can't do that! The effect of my Marauding Captains should stop you from attacking my monsters!"

"Who said I was aiming for them? I told him to attack you! You see once per turn I can halve the ATK of Den–O – Gun Form to attack you directly until the end of my turn. Do it!"

"Got it Kuro–chan!" the Rider responded (4/ATK: 1600–800/DEF: 1200). Grabbing the four pieces at his side, Ryuutaros combined them together to make a gun in his hand. Suddenly the Rider began to break dance and shot a salvo of bullets pelting Raizou.

Raizou: 3200

Kurogasa: 4000


"Yeah! Kurogasa gets first blood!" Jaden cheered.

Meh. I give it 6.5. on the blood counter. I mean, I can't even see the guy's intestines sliding out of his body.

"Way to play!" Syrus cheered.

'Wow. He somehow managed to find a way to bypass Raizou's Marauding Captain's abilities.' Alexis thought. 'And it's just with that one monster.'

He just used a direct attacking effect. Are they going to praise him for every little thing he does?

It's a wish-fulfillment fic, I'd be surprised if they didn't praise him.

"I place three cards facedown and end my turn." Kurogasa said as three reversed cards appeared on the field and Ryuutaros' ATK points returned to normal.

Raizou growled before drawing. "Lucky shot! Next time, you won't be so lucky! I activate my Trap Card, DNA Surgery!" The face down card flipped up and showed a picture of a man in a surgeon's clothes along with two other people. "With this on the field I get change all face up Monster's Type into whatever I want. I choose Warrior."

"What's the point in that? My Kamen Rider is a Warrior already." Kurogasa said confused.

"You should wait and watch Reject; you'll see what I mean. Next I summon Summoner Monk in ATK mode!" A priest in dark robes appeared with surrounding him. Suddenly armor appeared on the monster, symbolizing its change from spellcaster to Warrior type. (4/ATK: 800/DEF: 1600). "Now its effect activates and I change him into DEF position." The monk then sat down into lotus position, going into defense mode. "Next I activate A Forces! For every Spellcaster or Warrior on the field, my Warrior types get an extra 200 ATK point boost each. From what I see, there are four warrior types on the field. So that is an 800 point boost to each of my Monsters."

Marauding Captain: (4/ATK: 1200–2000/DEF: 400) X2

Summoner monk: (4/ATK: 800–1600/DEF: 1600)

I love when authors write these complex plays that amount to fucking nothing. First, The A. Forces gives 200 atk points to all of your warriors for each warrior and spellcaster YOU control, which means it’s only a 600 points boost. Having said that, there’s no point in playing DNA Surgery just to change Summoner Monk and get an extra 200 points. Not when you could use its effect to bring another monster like Command Knight to further the bonus to the warriors.

Should we have a 'Read the Rulebooks, Dumbass' counter?

Not for something like that. It's still legal, it's just stupid.

"And that's enough for the Marauding Captain's to take out Den–O!" Syrus realized.

"Go Marauding Captain destroy his Kamen Rider!" One of the warriors lifted up its sword and slashed Ryuutaros across the chest, turning him into dust.

Raizou: 3200

Kurogasa: 3600

"Now my other Captain Attacks!" The second captain charged forward and sliced Kurogasa across the chest.

"AGH!"

Raizou: 3200

Kurogasa: 1600

"I activate Damage Condenser!" Kurogasa said revealing one of his traps. "With this Trap, I can Special Summon 1 monster from my Deck with ATK equal to or less than the total Battle Damage you took this turn. So since I took 2400 points, I can summon a Monster with 2400 ATK or less, and I'll choose Kamen Rider Decade!"

More like Kamen Rider Dickhead, am I right?

He certainly was in the second movie, that's for sure.

A silhouette of a man appeared with the Deca Driver on his waist. He then opened it up making the white part of the Driver go vertical. He showed a card to his opponent and flipped it over showing the Decade logo. "Henshin!" He said then placed it in the slot with the Decade logo showing.

KAMEN RIDE

He then closes it, making the white part of the Driver go horizontal again.

DECADE

Ten grey pillars of energy appeared and merged into one. Forming into a man in a white and magenta pink armor with a black X across his chest. Black lines going vertically across his face with green lenses over the lines. (4/ATK: 2000/DEF: 1800)

"And who's that?" Raizou scoffed.

"Tsukasa, tell him who you are." Kurogasa said.

"I'm just a passing through Kamen Rider! Remember that!"

“Kamen Rider Faggot”, got it.

What, no Japanese? That's actually Tsukasa/Decade's catchphrase. No consistency whatsoever.

"Wow, you have a Duel Spirit too Kurogasa!" Jaden shouted from the sideline.

"Are you sure Jay?" Syrus asked slowly. Just like the proctor, Syrus thought Kurogasa was just throwing his voice and using ventriloquism to speak for the Riders.

"Yeah, I mean, are you sure it's not just ventriloquism?" Alexis asked. She also believed Kurogasa was just throwing his voice in as well.

"I'm sure you two." Then Jaden looked at the Rider. "Although I have to ask, why is he pink?" Kurogasa smirked. He knew Tsukasa gets mad when people mistake his armor color for pink.

"It's not pink!" Tsukasa shouted at Jaden. "It's magenta!"

You’re still a faggot in my book, mind you.

Oh my fucking god, not this shit!

I remembered reading this fic a long time ago, and this whole 'magenta, not pink' shtick is essentially Tsukasa's entire personality.


Which, again, is surprisingly not in Japanese.

"Wow! You're right! It is a Duel Spirit!" Syrus realized.

"Kurogasa's not using ventriloquism after all." Alexis added.

"Also, I don't have a Duel spirit. I have Duel Spirits." Kurogasa corrected and then turned to Raizou. "Are you done?"

Oh yeah, because we didn’t had enough with motherfucking Johan Anderson and his motherfucking duel spirit family all given to him specially by motherfucking Pegasus.

At least the Crystal Beasts were self-contained in their own little archetype. Could you imagine if Jesse had the Gem-Knights and they all had personalities?

"I place a facedown end my turn."

"Good, I draw!" After looking at his cards, Kurogasa nodded to himself. "Alright, I play Card of Sanctity! Letting us both draw 'til we six cards in our hand." Both drew until they had six. "Now I'll play the Spell, Mystical Space Typhoon, destroying your A. Forces!" A heavy wind blew destroying the card and Raizou's monster's stats dropped.

I stand by my original statement that any version of Card of Sanctity is bullshit.

Marauding Captain: (4/ATK: 2000–1200/DEF: 400) X2

Summoner monk: (4/ATK: 1600–800/DEF: 1600)

"Next I play the Spell, Double Summon allowing me to summon twice this turn! So now I summon Kamen Rider Kiva and Kamen Rider Fourze in ATK mode!"

Two silhouetted men appeared. The first one held his hand up. "Kivat!"

Just then, a small mechanical like bat appeared out of nowhere flying around. "Yosha! Kivatte iku ze!" The mechanical bat said before being caught by the silhouetted man's hand. The man then opened the bat's mouth. "Gabu (5)!" The silhouetted man allowed the bat to bite his hand. As soon as that happened, vein like features appeared on the silhouetted man's face, and the Kivat belt appeared on the waist. The bat started making some kind of hypnotic sonar noise. "Henshin!" The silhouetted man then placed Kivat on to the belt and changed form. When the transformation was complete, he wears a black bodysuit with silver torso armor that has a red chest emulating male muscle, outlines with black lines. The shoulder pads look like silver bat wings that are chained shut. His hands are covered in red armor with silver bands. His right leg is covered in a silver boot that looks like its bat wings that are chained shut while the other legs has a silver ankle band. The head is black with large yellow eyes that are shaped like bat wings. The mouth plate is silver with dark fang–like markings on either side (4/ATK: 1750/DEF: 1900).

This fucking bat Rider makes Zubat look tolerable in comparison!

Hey man, don't diss Kiva. He's actually pretty fucking metal in terms of suit design.

The second silhouetted man had a belt with four slots of some sort, each one shaped in a circle, X, triangle, and square. He revealed that he had 4 switches as well, which had a circle, X, triangle, and square as well. He placed the circle switch in the circle slot.

ROCKET

Next, the X switch, in the X slot

LAUNCHER

The triangle switch, in the triangle slot

DRILL

And finally the square switch, in the square slot

RADAR

The second silhouetted man then flipped the toggles switch down. And as each toggle switch was flipped down, there was a small screen showing the switches being activated, you could hear the belt powering up, increasing the pitch of the noise, and when the fourth toggle switch was hit, a countdown began.

3!

2!

1!

"Henshin!" the second silhouetted man shouted, he pulled a lever to the side and raised his hand in the air, a space like tune played as a metallic circle appeared overhead, light shining down on him, and smoke coming out. When the transformation was complete, the man was now in some sort of white space suit with his helmet in the shape of a rocket and the lenses where orange. He had an orange circle on his right arm, a black square on his left arm, an X on his right leg, and a yellow triangle on his left leg (4/ATK: 1400/DEF: 1200). "Yosha! Uchu kitaaaaaaaa (6)!" He yelled with his legs spread out and spreading his arms into the air.

Christ on a cross. Can you imagine playing against this guy and having to endure half a minute of this buffoonery every single time he summons one of his freaking monsters?

At least we have the option of excising this crap every time it shows up, unless it's new.

"Next I set a card face down and activate it," a card appeared face down on the field.

"You can't do that!" Raizou protested. "You just placed it facedown!"

"Unless I activate Bait Doll! With this card, I can select a Set card in the Spell/Trap card zone. If it is a trap, I am forced to activate it. If the timing is wrong, it is destroyed instead. If it's not a trap card at all, it just goes back face down. The card I choose the effect to use Bait Doll on is the card I put face down!" The face down card then flipped face up. "Skill Drain! I pay 1000 Life Points to activate the effect of my trap, but in exchange I get to negate the effects of all effect monsters face up on the field."

Nope. I’m telling you this right now: these Kamen Rider jerkoffs are all overpowered. Notice how they are mostly level four, meaning you don’t have to tribute one of your own creatures to summon them, have a variety of effects with no drawbacks and, most importantly, they all have high attack and defense points in relation to their levels. So, even if you cancel their effects, you can still swarm the field and plow through by brute force.

Just wait until you see their special forms, they give a new meaning to the term 'overpowered'.

Not to mention those are all final forms. Could you imagine cards based on all the other forms? Kuuga alone has eight different forms, including the final one!

Raizou: 3200

Kurogasa: 600


"What?!" Chazz and his groupies shouted in surprise.

"Now Bait Doll goes back into my Deck." Kurogasa said as he did so. "Now get ready for my counter attack. Gentarou! Attack his first Marauding Captain!"

"Let's do this man to man." Fourze, or Gentarou as Kurogasa called him, called out as he gave the pointer finger to one of the Marauding Captains. Fourze then pressed the orange switch and the yellow switch on his buckle.

ROCKET ON/ DRILL ON!

On Fourze's right arm an orange rocket appeared from the circle module on his arm. On his left leg was a large drill appeared with a yellow casing at the top. Flames ignited from the bottom of the rocket on his fist and Fourze flew upward. The drill on his left leg began to spin. Using his left hand he pulled a lever on the right side of his belt.

ROCKET DRILL LIMIT BREAK!

"Rider Rocket Drill Kick!" Orange and yellow cosmic energy gathered around the drill on his leg as he was rocketed forward towards the first Marauding Captain. Fourze easily destroyed it and ended up spinning a bit after landing.

Raizou: 3000

Kurogasa: 600


"Now Kiva destroy Summoner Monk!" The bat themed rider reached to the right side of his belt and pulled out a clear whistled top with a red bat symbol on it. He then placed it on the mouth of Kivat and it let out an ominous whistle.

WAKE UP!

The students except Kurogasa gasped as the bright day suddenly turned dark. A crescent moon filled the cloudless sky, shining its light onto the rider. Kiva then threw up his armored right leg high into the sky. Kivat then flew around it, breaking the chains that bind it, revealing bat winged shaped red metal and three jewels on the inside. Using his single leg Kiva jumped up into the air and did a back flip. He hovered in front of the moon for a couple of seconds before completing his flip and smashing into the Summoner Monk. As he made contact to the floor, a large fissure appeared on it in the shape of Kiva's insignia. Kiva then jumped back and his foot was armored once more. When that finished, the sky had returned to day.

"Okay I have to say, that was kind of creepy," Syrus muttered under his breath. "How were they able to turn the entire field into night?"

"I don't know Sy, but that was pretty cool," Jaden replied with a smile. "Man, this makes me want to duel Kurogasa even more."

Back on the field Kurogasa wasn't done. "Decade, clear the rest of his field."

"You don't have to tell me twice," Decade responded. Another card popped up from the RideBooker, this time it was gold and blue in color. All it was, was Decade's insignia. Decade then opened his buckle and put the card into it.

FINAL ATTACK RIDE! D–D–D–DECADE!

Several grey versions of the card he slotted in materialized in front of Decade and led to the last monster on the other side of the field. Decade then grabbed his RideBooker and it turned into a sword. A magenta colored energy engulfed the blade as Decade stepped into the first card in front of him. What followed next were small instances in which decade disappeared and reappeared through various cards as they disappeared. As he made it through the final card, he did a slash that left a trail of blades in its wake. He made a cross sign with the attack and the Marauding Captain exploded.

It’s like watching Seraph Sephiroth use Supernova over and over again.

Raizou: 2200

Kurogasa: 600


"I activate my Trap Card, Call of the Haunted!" Raizou shouted as his trap card flipped upward. "As long as this card remains face up on the Field, I can bring back one monster from my Graveyard! I choose Summoner Monk!" The once destroyed monk reappeared on the field.

"Fine, I'll end my turn." Kurogasa finished.

"My draw!" Raizou declared drawing his next card. "I play Pot of Greed to draw cards." Raizou drew two. "Next, I'll sacrifice my Summoner Monk in order to summon The Fiend Megacyber in ATK mode!" The monk disappeared only to be replaced by a yellow armored spiky warrior with robes that goes down its waist. (6/ATK: 2200/DEF: 1200). "Then I play two Cost Downs. I'll discard two cards so I can lower the Monster's level in my hand by 4." Raizou said as he discarded two cards from his hand.

"Why did he do that?" Syrus wondered.

"He probably has a powerful Monster in his hand." Alexis stated.

"Now I play Double Summon letting me summon once more, and I'll summon Sword Hunter due to playing the two Cost Downs I had in my hand. In a show of light and a gladiator, that had several swords on its back appeared (7–5–3/ATK: 2450/DEF: 1700).

This is patently the stupidest strategy I've seen yet. The guy basically emptied out his whole hand to summon one fucking monster!

"So that's why he played those two Cost Downs." Jaden figured out.

"Now to finish you off! I play the Spell, Lightning Vortex!"

"Oh no!" Jaden cried.

"That'll leave Kurogasa defenseless!" Syrus added.

"You should know what this card does by now, but I'll tell you anyway. I discard one card from my hand, and it'll destroy every one of your Monsters on your side of the Field!" A vortex of lightning appeared and sucked the Kamen Riders in destroying them in no time.

That’s a Mykan-level clusterfuck of un-creativity. And not just that, I get the feeling there’s something wrong with the number of cards. Let’s make a count, shall we?

He had six thanks to Card of Sanctity, right? He drew one, making it seven, then played Pot of Greed, going up to eight. He sacrificed Summoner Monk to bring the Megacyber, going down to seven. Next, he played two copies of Cost Down, each requiring him to discard a card, making four cards and lowering his hand count to a mere three. Double Summon and Sword Hunter left with with a single card, which was Lightning Vortex and required him to discard a card to activate. So, where did that discarded card came from, eh?


His ass.

Okay, now we can break it out!

Read the Rulebook, Dumbass: 1


"That kid's done." Chazz said smugly.

"No way can he get out of this one." The kid with the glasses said.

"Now Fiend Megacyber, Sword Hunter finish this Ra Reject off!" Raizou ordered. The two monsters went straight for Kurogasa, ready to strike at him at a moment's notice.

"KUROGASA!" Jaden and Syrus cried.

"Sorry, but this duel is still going on! Activate facedowns! Nutrient Z and Emergency Provisions!" Kurogasa countered revealing the facedowns.

"NO!" Chazz and his groupies yelled.

"That's right!" Kurogasa smirked. "I knew you high and mighty Obelisks like yourselves like to do overkills, so I set these cards just in case.

Which would have been a total waste of space if he didn’t play like you expected.

Besides, this is the first time he's dueled an Obelisk, how the fuck does he know that they're into overkills?

I still think he's psychic. That or Feni-kun got a little ahead of himself.

"First Nutrient Z gives me 4000 points if I'm about to take 2000 or more points in Damage." A small vile appeared in Kurogasa's hand and he drank the contents before throwing it away.

Raizou: 2200

Kurogasa: 4600


"And finally, Emergency Provisions allow me to destroy any of my Spell or Traps that I have on the field, and for every one destroyed, I gain 1000 Life Points. I choose to destroy Skill Drain!" The said card then shattered.

Raizou: 2200

Kurogasa: 5600


As soon as that resolved, Sword Hunter and Fiend Megacyber hit Kurogasa making the latter slide back a couple feet.

Raizou: 2200

Kurogasa: 950

"Damn! I thought Raizou had him!" The Obelisk with the glasses growled.

"Doesn't matter, Torimaki. When Raizou's turn comes up, he's finished." Chazz assured him, who is also miffed with that last move.

"Whew… that was close." Jaden sighed in relief.

"Yeah, too close." Syrus added.

"Now he just needs to draw something good to win this duel." Alexis added.

"Damn you! Next turn, you're done Ra Reject!" Raizou growled.

"There's not gonna be a next turn." Kurogasa said.

"Why's that?"

"Because…" Kurogasa said as he drew his next card. "I'm calling… FINAL TURN!"

This guy must be a real treat to play with in real life. He's probably more toxic than most League of Legends players.

"What?!" Raizou gasped taken off guard by the declaration. Chazz and the Obelisk boy with the glasses cringed at this.

"Uh–oh, you're in trouble now." Jaden snickered.

"I play Card of Demise drawing until I have five cards, but discarding my Hand after my 5th Standby Phase." Kurogasa said as he drew his five cards.

Card of Demise? Not only you have Yugi and Marik’s signature drawing spells but also Kaiba’s too?

The fact that this is the card he called final turn on, baffles my mind. How would he react if he didn't draw the cards he needed to win?

"Next I summon Kamen Rider OOO in ATK mode!" The silhouette of a man appeared and on his waist was a belt with a rectangular box that had three circular slots. He took out the traffic light coins and inserted the coins in the slots. Taking the scanner from the side of his belt and scanned them making three chiming sounds. "Henshin!"

TAKA!

TORA!

BATTA!

TA–TO–BA TATOBA TA–TO–BA!


The silhouetted man became surrounded by spinning colored Medals which accompanied the transformation. Images of the three Medals he was using appeared. Taka was on the top, Tora was in the middle, and Batta was at the bottom. The three images then combined into one large crest which flew backwards and into his chest. His body then became enveloped in energy which swiftly hardened into solid armor. Becoming OOO (4/ATK: 2000/DEF: 2000).

"Next I activate the Spell, OOO Roulette!" Kurogasa said next playing a card depicting a spinning wheel of various different colored crests.

Oh not this shit again.

"I roll a die, and OOO will gain a new form depending on the roll! Go, dice roll!" He yelled. A huge die came out of the card and dropped to the ground. It rolled, for a few seconds until it landed on a 2. "Nice, it's a 2! With that, I can Special Summon Kamen Rider OOO – RaToraTah Form! And I'll special summon him from my Hand! He took out the red and green coins and replaced them with two new yellow ones. One yellow coin has actually had a gold colored, but nonetheless still yellow, and it had a picture of a lion, and the other new yellow coin, a cheetah. OOO then scanned the medals.

RAION!

TORA!

CHEETAH!

RATA RATA… RATORA~TAH!

BGM: Ride on Right Time


Background music?! Are you trying to win the gold medal for 'Most Insufferable Fanfic Writer'?!

This also proves he's probably got cards for each of the Full Combos. God damn.

OOO became surrounded by spinning colored Medals by the spinning medals again. Images of the three Medals he was using appeared. Raion was on the top, Tora was in the middle, and Cheetah was at the bottom. The three images then combined into one large crest which flew backwards and into his chest. His body then became enveloped in energy which swiftly hardened into solid armor.

A blinding light burst from OOO's body as the armor formed on his body making everyone cover their eyes. When the light finally faded, it had completely formed. The head piece represented the head of a male lion having a metal mane around his oval face and he had blue lenses. The Tora arms were the same. The legs were also yellow but it had black spots that resembled a cheetah. The O–Lung Circle crest had a composite crest with a lion on top, tiger in the middle, and cheetah on the bottom (8/ATK: 2200/DEF: 2300).

Can you please finish playing your damn monsters? I have a life I would like to keep living!

"Man, that's bright!" Jaden said rubbing his eyes.

"I couldn't see a thing!" Syrus added.

"Sorry about that. But that's how the transformation goes." Kurogasa said. "Now I play this!" He then flipped the card over to show. "Look familiar? It's Lightning Vortex!" Kurogasa said.

"NO!" The Obelisk boys gasped in shock.

"He won!" Alexis gasped.

"That's right Alexis, I win. I just gotta discard this card from my hand." Kurogasa said as he did so. A lightning vortex appeared and sucked up Fiend Megacyber and Sword Hunter, destroying them into pixels.

"No way! I lost to a Ra Reject?!" Raizou growled.

"Yep. OOO, finish him off with Liodias!" Kurogasa commanded.

The fuck is Liodias? Ratoratah's finishing move is called Gush Cross.

Grabbing the scanner from his side, he swiped it across the Medals and three chiming noises were made.

SCANNING CHARGE!

Yellow rings projected in front of OOO. He then rushed through them towards Raizou. As he was close enough, his entire helmet flashed with the blinding light of Liodias. Raizou was blinded again as he struggled to see and OOO roared, "SEE–YAAAH!" before swinging his Tora Claws at it.

Raizou: 0

Kurogasa: 950

BGM Ends


Seriously? That was your big finishing move? The same damn spell card the guy used and even a monkey can play?

You would think that Ratoratah would have an effect that could at least made this easier to pull off.

But that seems to have gone the way of Tajador's effect, friend.


---

The holograms disappeared and the duel disks deactivated. "Hmph. All bark and no bite." Kurogasa scoffed to himself as Jaden and Syrus ran over to him and the former turned to them.

"Way to play, Kurogasa!" Syrus praised.

"Yeah, what he said. The Final Turn thing is still great as ever!" Jaden grinned.

Knowing what I know now about Final Turn, this would be the last thing Jaden says.

"Thanks." Kurogasa grinned back and then turned to the three Obelisks with Raizou slowly getting up on his feet. Those three were just mad.

"Don't think that this is over Ra Reject!" Chazz growled. "You're gonna regret messing with us Obelisks."

"Well, I'm always up for a challenge Chuzz– I mean Chazz." Kurogasa smirked. Jaden and Syrus laughed as Chazz and his flunkies stomped out of the arena.

You’re lucky everybody on this damn place has the sense of humor of a five years-old.

That and his readers. Check out all of the positive reviews for this dung heap of a story.

Report for toxic plz!

"You know all of us Obelisks aren't that bad," Alexis said as she strode up toward the trio. Kurogasa turned around and shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know about that. One of your friends seems a bit ditzy, while the other seems to glare at me nonstop. So far you've been the only one nice to me," Kurogasa replied with a smirk appearing on his lips.

Good job judging them merely by their initial reactions, asshole.

"Mindy and Jasmine will come around," Alexis smiled at them. "Now you guys should get going. It's almost time for the Welcoming Feasts."

"Whoa we get feasts!?" Jaden asked with excitement. "Sy, let's go! See you later Kurogasa! You too Alexis!" The brunette ran out of the arena, dragging his blue haired friend behind him. This left Kurogasa who put his hands into his pocket and went towards the opposite the one Alexis was going. He then turned around and called out to her.

"Alexis!" The blond girl looked over her shoulder at the boy. "So when will I get my tour of the island with you?"

"Maybe tomorrow… if you're lucky." Alexis then left, leaving the smiling boy to himself. Looking around to make sure nobody would see him; Kurogasa pumped his fist into the air and jumped for joy.

"Alright, I still got it."

Damn, son. At this rate you will have her patting your shoulder in no time!

"You still could have made it better," Urataros laughed as he appeared next to the boy. "And also, save your victory dance for when you're alone or with Ryuuta at least."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah…" Kurogasa waved off. "Well, I get going. The feast is about to begin!" And with that, he ran off to his dorm.

We skip the welcome feast scene which has nothing added beyond some dick sucking courtesy of Bastion and the self-insert going self-righteous about how the color division between dorms makes no sense beyond stroking Kaiba’s ego.

I'm sure Kaiba has a lot of people stroking his 'ego'.

After the Welcome Dinner, Kurogasa was in his dorm room lying down on the bed resting. "Aw man… I'm stuffed. Today turned out to be the best day and it's not even the first day of school yet." Kurogasa sighed all happy patting his stomach.

"Yosh! And tomorrow is going to be even better!" Fourze, or Gentarou, stated as he appeared in the room. "We're going to make more buddies aren't we Kurogasa!"

"We'll see about that Gentarou."

"Maybe if I'm lucky, I can take good pictures of Kurogasa and his little crush," Decade, or Tsukasa, teased as he appeared on the computer chair fiddling around with a black and pink Blackbird, fly 135 twin lens camera. He brought it up and took a picture of the lying down duelist. "It would be funny to have some pictures for us Riders to have a laugh about when you get embarrassed." Although he couldn't see Tsukasa's face, Kurogasa knew that the Rider was smirking at him. The comment got the desired effect though, Kurogasa was blushing embarrassedly.

I personally believe that most of the Duel Spirits have some place where they hang out and mock this guy endlessly when he's not paying attention.

That or it's something like Dean Cook's "Friend that nobody likes" thing.


"Shut up! It was just nerves okay?"

"Maybe you can serenade her. I'm sure Wataru is willing to give you violin lessons." Decade then turned towards the open window that led to a small balcony that overlooked the ocean. There stood Kiva, playing a sad tune on a violin in his hands. He then stopped and looked at the other occupants of the room.

"I wouldn't mind giving Kurogasa lessons," Wataru replied politely. "Although, I'm not sure where we can get a violin."

"I do not need lessons Wataru, Tsukasa is just teasing me."

"How about some dance lessons from me?" Ryuutaros asked as he started to break dance on the floor. "If you're just going to balk up when you see blondie again, you may need something to distract her with. Awesome dance moves would be great Kuro–chan!"

This shit makes LUCKY STAR, look like the pinnacle of humor!

Yes, I just said that.


Now that's saying some shit right there.

"You only got your confidence back when you dueled that Obelisk loser," Urataros stated. "I mean your love life isn't going to go anywhere if you keep doing that around pretty girls."

"Can we not talk about my love life right now? Besides I just met the girl," Kurogasa grumbled. Behind him Gentarou and Ryuutaros laughed, Tsukasa chuckled, Wataru shook his head and Urataros sighed.

"Fine," Gentarou replied. "Although you may need to get some rest. We have a big day of making friends tomorrow!"

If I ever had any intention of checking the Kamen Rider series, this scene just killed it.

As if this was any way to introduce anyone to anything.

Anyway, from here onwards it’s just the events of episode two of the show with, again, the cretin’s comments in the middle. Slightly noteworthy is the fact he asks Asuka if she wants him to escort her to her bedroom which she declines, but not before blushing and giggling because we cannot let something small like proper characterization get in the way of his boner.

Honestly, I have a special hate in my heart for these kind of stories. They're the equivalent of taking a painting of Picasso, making some doddles over it and then expecting everybody to praise me for my work.

And if you thought this chapter was bad, trust me, it gets worse. Next up is episode three, and there is bullshit of the highest accord on its way. So stay tuned!


--------------------
"I am the bone of my snark...
Courage is my body,
and logic is my blood.
I have read over a thousand fanfics.
Unknown to love,
Nor known to hate,
Have withstood great mindscrews to read many fanfics...
Yet those eyes will never see anything again...
So hear me, as I pray...
UNLIMITED MOCK WORKS!"


QUOTE (Truth)
"Who am I? One name you might have for me is the world, or you might call me the universe, or perhaps God, or perhaps the Truth. I am All, and I am One. So, of course, this also means that I am you. I am the truth of your despair, the inescapable price of your boastfulness."


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LPs

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UnsavoryGlint


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post Jan 25 2017, 08:52 AM
Please continue this, the chapters get progressively worst and more stupid, please ;-;

I mean, I read this fanfiction, and once the fighting food'on come in, thats when I gave up on it.


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"Did you know that UnsavoryGlint is my old arse Xbox live profile name?, I keep it out of a odd respect for it (although it could due to the fact that its a euphemism for something nasty.)"
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GorillaGamer


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post Jan 25 2017, 06:19 PM
QUOTE (UnsavoryGlint @ Jan 26 2017, 03:22 AM) *
Please continue this, the chapters get progressively worst and more stupid, please ;-;

I mean, I read this fanfiction, and once the fighting food'on come in, thats when I gave up on it.


As much as we would like to, one of the mockers is experiencing some medical issues at the moment. Please be patient, and we'll continue the mock when we get the chance.


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QUOTE (AnItalianGuy @ May 27 2016, 02:03 AM) *
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
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Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 23rd February 2017 - 03:39 AM