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> Pokemon Mystery Dungeon:The Mystery of Francis, Francis the Snivy MK IV, amnesiac to the rescue
Post #21
StabbyKobold


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post Nov 15 2016, 05:30 AM
With how the last chapter left off, youíd expect the team to finally get their heads on straight and try to save their friend in this capture-the-flag game masquerading as a story. But youíd be wrong, because the author changes direction more often than a metronome. Enjoy.

------------------------

Chapter 32: Francis the Snivy Died? Part 1 of 2

From martyr complex to actual martyrdom? Ha! I wish.

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to Chapter 32 of the story. In this chapter, we have the plan for team Angeles and Team Charm to save Francis the Snivy. Here we go, and without further delay..

Team Angeles: Blacksterops1025 does not own anything

Alerts in chapter

Crying Alert level 1- Get your tissues just in case


Attached Image

(Location- Cabin 200)

Team Angeles and team Charm are now working together on a plan to save Francis the Snivy. The two teams talk to each other.

"Lets launch Operation "Save a Special Snivy" Leo the Treeko from team Charm said

The military could learn a thing or two from these guys. Iím sure using Operation ďShoot the Bad GuysĒ will be so much better to keep their missions classified.

"I agree" Suyapa said

The team pulls out pens and papers to draw out the plan. The team is happy about the plan.

"First, we have to get to Ensenada, Mexico" Ike the Treeko said as Suyapa drew a boat going to Ensenada, Mexico

"Second, we go downtown and gather information" Leo the Riolu said as Suyapa drew the team going downtown

"Third, we defeat this unknown pokemon" Kyle the Buizel said

"Fourth, we did it dance" Leo said as everyone laughed

As if them laughing while they believe their friend is being tortured right now isnít enough, itís really bad planning, when the second step is to gather intelligence vital to the second half of the mission.

The team was happy about the plan, but Gengar is about to spread a rumor that breaks Suyapa's heart. Suyapa turns on the TV to see Gengar in the Media Center in LA

Is there any other reason to turn a TV on other than to receive exposition?

(Location- Media Center in Los Angeles)

Gengar arrived at the Media Center to address the media. He has no idea that Suyapa is watching him on TV

(Media Like Fashion)

This just in! Idiot author writes another incomprehensible mess. Weíll keep you updated as the ďstoryĒ develops.

Media (Channel 313): Good Morning everyone. We are about to hear from Gengar. He will talk about his battle with Francis the Azelf.

Gengar: Well, why don't we say that Francis the Snivy died. Thank you,Ö

Once more the corporate media profits by allowing the proven murderer to walk freely around. What Gengar expects to achieve from such a flimsy lie and avoiding the actual topic of discussion, I have no idea.

(Cabin 200)

The team has just heard Gengar saying that Francis the Snivy died, but Suyapa says otherwise.

"LIAR!" Suyapa said

"Protest time?" Leo asked

"Not yet" Suyapa

Protest time? Protest?! Does this author not know a fucking revenge plot when itís staring him right in the face?!

The team still can't believe that Francis the Snivy died. The press conference continuesÖ

(Media Center in LA)

Question 1 from Media 23: How did Francis the Snivy die?

Gengar: Easy, just knock him out

Comment from Media 12: That makes no sense! If that happened, then he should be unconscious

Gengar: I said he died, not become unconscious. GET YOUR FACTS RIGHT!

Comment from Media Center: I heard enough of this! Let's get out of here!

Attached Image

What even was the point of that? Gengar goes on television, canít tell a convincing lie, the news crew ignores him Ė WHY?!

(Cabin 200)

Suyapa couldn't take it anymore. She wanted a protest. The team tells the navigator to go back to LA as fast as possible.

Congratulations, guys! Youíve just become hijackers.

(Los Angeles)

The team has arrived back at the guild to prepare for a protest. They also turn on the news.

"We have breaking news from Los Angeles where there are rumors that Francis the Snivy died in Ensenada, Mexico. The rumor came from Gengar. He feels confident with what he said, but a lot of sources say otherwise. More on this story, after the LA Gamers Game"

So instead of actually investigating whether or not Gengar was lying, they hold a protest? Why hasnít Orion just told them that Francis is at the hospital? What crazy world is this?!

The team has to wait until after the basketball game for more information. The team continues to get ready for a protest.

(The next day)

Team Angeles is now hours away from starting an nationwide protest to tell Gengar a truth.

Attached Image

(Florida)

The residents are preparing to protest against Gengar

(Miami)

The residents are preparing to protest against Gengar

(Colorado)

The residents are preparing to protest

The only people who has a right to protest is anyone reading this shit.

The protest has started in all states. The residents stand behind Team Angeles.

"We want Gengar gone!" The protesters said as they marched through the streets

"Francis is good! Gengar is bad!" More protesters said

Iím sorry, but isnít Team Angeles supposed to get rid of Gengar by saving Francis? The guy who Gengar is still holding hostage, I mean.

The news media is following the protest.

"We are now following the protest for closure in the rumored death of Francis the Snivy. This protest is to prove that Francis the Snivy is alive, and not dead like Gengar said. The real question is: Did Francis the Snivy really die? Find out in the future chapters of "Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: The Mystery of Francis"

And now we can safely say that the author doesnít know how protests work either. Itís a wonder he can figure out how to post his stories, honestly. Letís move on to the next chapter right away.


Chapter 33: Francis the Snivy Died? Part 2 of 2

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to chapter 33 of the story. In this chapter, more rumors from Gengar fly around, and Did Francis the Snivy really die?

Even if he did, thereís like a dozen people with his name ready to take his place. But the answer is still fucking no.

Here we go, and without further delayÖ

Team Angeles: Blacksterops1025 does not own anything you are reading in the story

Alerts in chapter 33

Tissue Alert level 2- Please bring your tissues before reading

Soccer Alert level 4- Big match; Chelsea VS Barcelona to move to the finals preview (Put the tissues away for the moment)

Just once, author, I would like you to cover up the fact, that you are a complete and utter imbecile.

(Location- Los Angeles- Team Angeles Base)

The team is now ready to protest against Gengar, after he said that Francis the Snivy died in Mexico. Suyapa doesn't buy the rumor. The team heads to City Hall to call for a local protest. After talking to the officials, the team starts protesting, what they don't know is that this protest is now nationwide. The news media is now broadcasting the protests live as it happens.

What the hell are they trying to achieve by protesting? Do they really think ďMurder-truckĒ Gengar cares for their opinions?

(Media 490 in Las Vegas)

"We are now bringing a nationwide protest to you live from Sky 490 in LA. This protest as you all know is for what Gengar said about Francis the Snivy. If you can recall, Gengar stated that Francis the Snivy died in Mexico, but Suyapa, who happens to be Francis the Snivy's best friend, doesn't buy it"

This news report brought to you by Old News Media, redundantly stating what you already know.

(Media 89 in Huston)

"Protesters in Huston are now crossing into city hall to demand Gengar to take the rumor about Francis the Snivy dying in Mexico back. The protesters hopes that Gengar receives their messages"

How is it that this author can deliver social commentary on internet arguments, when all he does is write contrived nonsense?

(Media 009 in Spokane, Washington)

"If you taught Francis the Snivy being knocked unconscious was bad enough, sorry, you are wrong. It turns out that Gengar is saying that Francis the Snivy died in Mexico a couple of days ago, but residents demand a protest against Gengar for the rumor.

Suyapa was amazed at the attention that this now high profile case was getting. She loved all the support that Team Angeles was getting. They all said one thing: "We want a protest against Gengar for what he has done to a superstar leader". The media in LA even sobbed when they reported on the local protest.

How about anyone of these people inform the fucking police, so that they can make an attempt at catching Gengar, now that Francisí friends arenít doing it?

(Media 2 in Los Angeles)

"We are now following a protest for team Angeles for Gengar to take the rumor about Francis the Snivy dying in Mexico back. We take you live to the ground were Frank the Chimchar is reporting for us"

"Yes Stacy. I am on the protesting floor (sobs) where team Angeles is protesting (Sobs) for Gengar to admit (Sobs) he lied about Francis the Snivy (Sobs) dying in Mexico. I remember Francis the Snivy (Sobs) as a nice and loving pokemon. He is one of a (Sobs) kind. I hope this rumor is false (Sobs). Live on the ground, Frank the Chimchar for Media 2 LA"

Attached Image

For fuckís sake, Frank Ė itís just a rumor! A rumor created by the BAD GUY. Why are you all so stupid?

Frank the Chimchar was crying so hard that team Angeles had to come over to help out. Suyapa tells Frank to pray for peace. Frank agrees with Suyapa. The team tries to have Frank protest with them, but Frank says that he will do it with the media group. Team Angeles agrees.

(Gengar's house in Long Beach)

Gengar was watching the events of the protest unfold. He did not like what he heard from the media. He wanted to make sure his rumor is true. He gathers his team and tries to persuade the media that "Francis the Snivy deserves to die, not to live" .

Well, Iím convinced. Been that for a while, in fact.

He also wants to tell team Angeles "Francis the Azelf is next"

(Protesting floor)

The protesters continue to protest for 3 hours until 6PM. Team Angeles decides to spend the night in the base.

Blacksterops1025: The saga continues tonight!

Just remember to be in bed on time, author. We wouldnít want your parents to get mad.

------------------------

I canít get over this. A fucking protest?! Itís incredible what this author thinks counts for acceptable reality in fiction. Itís bad enough that this story was written by an idiot, but now heís just fumbling through the narrative Ė where will it fucking go from here?


--------------------
"So... preparing to storm into the room, you jostle your badger, kick down the door, and throw it at the thug standing inside." - Moment from my D&D campaign.

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Post #22
King Dairy


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post Nov 19 2016, 04:26 AM
This is possibly the most mystifying fanfiction I've read (out of an entire 10, to be fair). It manages to make no sense at every turn and gets more inane with every passing chapter.
I think I might actually be sad when it abruptly ends.
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Post #23
StabbyKobold


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post Nov 24 2016, 10:06 AM
I agree, King Dairy. It certainly will leave a void. But being only just halfway through this story, itís a void Iím already looking forward to.

We left off with Gengar starting rumors about having killed Francis. We know our luck isnít that good, so letís find out what kind of madness inducing explanation the author has in store for us. Enjoy.


------------------------

Chapter 34: The Truth is Revealed!

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to chapter 34, and the final chapter for this week. In this chapter, the truth is revealed. Did Francis the Snivy die after all?

Who the hell are you even trying to fool, author? Not even the characters in this story are that gullible.

Find out in this chapter. Here we go, and without further delayÖ

Team Angeles: Blacksterops1025 does not own anything!

Alerts in chapter 34

Blood Alert level 5- Rose the Snivy gets severely injured

Weapon Alert 5- Pokemon injured, however, no deaths

Disappoint me in advance, why donít you.

(Location- Media Center in LA)

Team Angeles is now at the media center in downtown Los Angeles. They are now telling their side of the story about the rumor.

Because hearing their stance on the subject for the umpteenth time isnít going to be boring or anything.

(Media like fashion)

Media 23: Do you believe that the rumor is true?

Suyapa: No.

Media 14: Do you think Gengar is lying to the media?

Orion: Yes he is.

Channel 12 news: Gengar has just started his protest against you guys. Any thoughts on that?

Attached Image

What does this author think a protest actually is? What does he think it accomplishes? How the fuck does he think a counter protest to the first protest is the next logical step?!

Suyapa: He knows we will be out to get him for what he has done to team Angeles. He shall be punished!

The media room cheers

Channel 5 news: Should Francis the Azelf drain Gengar's willpower today?

If it will stop the story from draining mine, yes, please!

Leo: Yes! Francis the Azelf should do that as soon as possible before Gengar can attack us again.

Channel 100 news: Suyapa, you are the one who counts on Francis the Snivy to be the hero. Why do you trust him?

Suyapa: I trust him because he is one of my best friends ever. Whenever I am about to get attacked, he rushes to take the hit to save me. Even if I see him unconscious, I thank him for saving me from the bottom of my heart.

This is the mind of the Martyr Complex, people. Friendship and adoration in return for their self-sacrifice. In a way, itís ass-backwards to what real friendships are like. I have friends, and Iíd gladly take a bullet for them if need be. But theyíre not my friends because Iím willing to do this; Iím willing to do this because theyíre my friends. The other way around is just sociopathy.

Channel 33 game news: You guys have a soccer season coming up. Is this rumor going to affect your game plan?

Rouge the Bat: Yes, in terms of rotation. Francis the Snivy is our starter. I am just a midfielder.

Rouge the Bat is still around? Geez, whatís it been, like twelve Ė fourteen chapters?

Channel 45 News: Sonic the Hedgehog is coming to team Angeles in the future. Any plans on letting him play?

Suyapa: Sweet! A new teammate can always play and battle.

I would ask why the news crew would know this before the team itself, but the news media are apparently omniscient in this world.

Channel 1 News (The News Alert System): A news alert has been called out for this area. Gengar is on the lose. If you see this pokemon, evacuate now! He is carrying extremely dangerous weapons! Evacuate now!

Everyone in the media room evacuated outside to find Gengar carrying the weapons. Gengar has already shot 12 pokemon.

In other words, the ďextremely dangerous weaponsĒ are just guns. Guns which, as weíve been told in the chapter alerts, will kill no one. The only reason that Iím at the edge of my seat, is that Iím about to fall out of it asleep.

All the pokemon had severe injuries. Team Angeles is running to their base. Everyone makes it, but Rose was trapped by Gengar. Gengar shoots Rose on her right leg. Rose started screaming in pain.

Any other reaction would have been stupid, but not below this authorís ability to write.

Suyapa heard the shots from inside the base and investigates. Gengar escapes before Suyapa can see him. Suyapa see's Rose on the floor bleeding. Kat rushed outside to examine Rose. Kat did not like what she examined.

"She has an injured leg" Kat said

Master of deduction right here; whatever could have tipped you off?

"Let's get her to nurse Karla" Suyapa said

The team rushes Rose to nurse Karla. Nurse Karla added to the teams fears.

"I'm sorry. Rose is injured badly. First, her right leg is not in the normal position, also, her left leg is also injured" Nurse Karla said

Well, Gengar didnít do that. Which means it was either the fools who rushed Rose to the hospital by themselves, or the dumbass hospital staff that keep being rather incompetent at their jobs.

The team was upset about Rose's injures. The team also hears the news they wanted to for a very long time.

"This is media 12 with news on Francis the SnivyÖ" The news woman said

The team waits in anticipation. Gengar appears on screen holding a body of a Snivy, but another picture of a Snivy appears on the right. The team hopes that the picture on the right is correct.

I wasnít aware that news reports needed suspense.

"The rumor isÖ.FALSE! The Snivy on the left is Francis the Snivy's clone, while the one on the right is the real Francis the Snivy!" The news woman yells

Attached Image

Clone?! Fucking when? Fucking how? Fucking WHY?! I have so many questions, but asking them will probably be pointless, as this clone will never be addressed again. The author uses so many red herrings; he could start selling fucking sushi.

The team is celebrating. The team also noticed that Francis the Snivy learned the move Substitute. The team is very happy. Gengar is now immobilized thanks to Francis the Azelf's curse.

Even for this author, that seems like an awfully rushed conclusion.

Blacksterops1025: Team Angeles soccer season starts next Friday!

But pain season is still ongoing. Next chapter, letís go.


Chapter 35: The New Enemy is Revealed!

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to chapter 35 of this story. The next 17 chapters will takes us to the end of part 2 of the story.

Iíd rather trust the weather forecast for the next twenty years, than assume you have any fucking idea of how you structure your story, author.

In this chapter, team Angeles is celebrating their victory after defeating Gengar. They have no idea that a new enemy and a new teammate is coming. The team also gets a special visit from a chapter 1 character. Here we go, and without further delayÖ

They didnít defeat Gengar at all, new teammates are practically worthless, and the first chapter character can only be Tory the Ninetales due to process of elimination. Please tell me the curse spewing fox will bring some actual plot with him; Iím tired of seeing villains play keep away with Francisí unconscious ass.

Team Angeles: Blacksterops1025 does not own anything!

Alerts in Chapter 35

Crying Alert level 3- Francis the Serperior's friend lost her soul to Darkrai (This is a hint of what is to come for team Angeles)

You want us to feel sorry for a friend of another Francis clan member, neither of whom has appeared in this story before? You couldnít be this much of a bleeding heart without having actual holes in it.

Game Review alert level 2- Today's Game review is for Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon City

Author, in continuing my long line of questions into your literary understanding, I have to ask Ė what do you think an Ďalertí is? What do you even think numbers mean, for that matter? Can you even convince me, that you are able to understand any two fucking words written in sequence by your own hand?!

(Location- Team Guild in Los Angeles- 9PM)

The team is now in the base after defeating Gengar. Suyapa is planning a all night party.

"I request a all night party" Suyapa said

"I agree" Rose said

"Let's invite team Charm" Francis the Buizel said

The team calls team Charm and they answer. Team Charm said that they are on their way to party all night. As the call ended, Francis the Snivy revives.

Convenient timing. Speaking of which, let me just start the clock, and see if he can set a new record for time spent not in immediate danger, pain, or forcible narcosis.

"I will see you there" Leo said

"Ok" Suyapa said

"Hey all, Francis the Snivy revived yo!" Francis the Buizel said

"Oh yes he did" Francis the Azelf said (He is back from Ensenada, Mexico)

About time too. Far be it for the main character to actually be a part of the story.

The team checks on Francis the Snivy and takes his temperature.

"Let's take his temp" Rose said

"Ok" Suyapa said

"His temp is 98.9 degrees, which is normal" Kat said

For humans, yes. For a small critter thatís part of a chlorophyll genepool, though? Not so sure.

The team see's Leo and his teammates at the door. The team opens the door and let's team Charm in.

Here is team Charm:

Ike

Starr

Kyle

Leo

Tim

Attached Image

I would call them all faceless, hollow shells without character, but that would imply there was something there that could contain an ounce of substance in the first place.

The team greets team Charm and tells them that a all night party is planned for the evening. There was also a Serperior. The team finds out that the name of the Serperior is Francis. Francis the Snivy & Serperior greets each other.

"How are you my older grass brother" Francis the Snivy said

"I'm good my friend, and my younger brother" Francis the Serperior said

I guess by having no limbs to injure, Serperiors just fall out of the villainsí target demographic.

What makes you come here?" Francis the Snivy asked

"I want toÖ" Francis the Serperior said before he started crying

I thought he said he was fine, whereís this coming from?

The team hears crying from the door way. Francis the Snivy lets his older brother in to tell his story.

CRYING ALERT IN EFFECT UNTIL THE START OF THE GAME REVIEW

Itís in all caps, so you know he really means it.

Francis the Serperior tells his sad story to both team Angeles and team Charm.

"The reason I came here is to tell you about my sad story. This includes news about the future of Los Angeles. My story begins in the semi-finals of the Soul Games, which is a traditional tournament created by Darkrai. Darkrai is not to be taken lightly, because the Soul Games is a completion for Darkrai to gain power from the souls he takes from the losing team.

Attached Image

I wasnít aware that Outworld was staking their claim on this realm. How soon can we get Francis to compete?

Here is my experience with that kind of action by Darkrai. My team ( Team LA Wonderers) lost the game by 2 goals to team Kings of LA. Darkrai took 9 of my teammate's souls with him. This included one of Francis the Snivy's first sisterÖ.

Please, author, make me groan any harder, and my neighbors will have me evicted for noise complaints. How fucking big is your pretend family, you sad, sad creature?

Blacksterops1025: Who is Francis the Snivy's sister? Find out after the game review.

GAME REVIEW TIME!

CRYING ALERT WILL BE REISSUED AFTER THE GAME REVIEW


With how you usually handle these, itís best to leave it on, author.

Game: Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon City

General Information:


If you ever played Resident Evil games, then you expect zombies, weapons, and more. This game has that, and you get to control the umbrella operation's personal. Is this game worth your money? Find out nowÖ

Nothing is worth my money. I buy everything with coupons.

Game play:

When I previewed the game, I taught that there would be a case for your weapons, items, and more. When I played it, it had a area for them, but it felt like "Call of Duty". On the directional pad, you have a spot for herbs, grenades, and a special ability. There is also another problem, you only have a limit of 1 herb type, 1 anti viral spray (I will explain this in the presentation segment), 5 of each grenade type, and the special ability.

Thatís not gameplay, thatís interface description. What the fuck do you actually do in the game, you nut?

Presentation:

The game did have zombies, but also had spec ops characters to contend with. I just taught this was like Resident Evil 5, but it wasn't close. The new twist this time around was the zombies giving the player a infection. This infection would give the player a limited time to recover, before the player becomes a zombie. To fix this, you need an anti viral spray (which has a purple color to it). The weapons were ok tough. This game also had a exp system. You can use EXP to purchase abilities for you character.

Wouldnít that be like exercising first and distributing the gained muscle mass afterwards?

The verdict:

The game does have problems, but it is still a ok game. I would recommend this to those who follow the series

Score Breakdown:

Graphics: 7/10

Controls: 10/10

Playability: 6/10

Enjoyment: 8/10

Final Total: 31/40- 77% (An ok game)

I suppose the last .5% from your calculation left along with the equally sized amount of sense this story had.

AND NOW, BACK TO "POKEMON MYSTERY DUNGEON: THE MYSTERY OF FRANCIS"

CRYING ALERT IN EFFECT UNTIL TORY THE NINETALES ENTERS


Itís as if there should be a live studio audience here, but instead of applause the director wants tears.

The team is about to find out what happened to Francis the Snivy's sister. Francis the Serperior continues his speech.

Bold= Added words

Hey, donít you go infringing on my job!

"The reason I came here is to tell you about my sad story. This includes news about the future of Los Angeles. My story begins in the semi-finals of the Soul Games, which is a traditional tournament created by Darkrai. Darkrai is not to be taken lightly, because the Soul Games is a completion for Darkrai to gain power from the souls he takes from the losing team. Here is my experience with that kind of action by Darkrai. My team ( Team LA Wonderers) lost the game by 2 goals to team Kings of LA. Darkrai took 9 of my teammate's souls with him. This included Francis the Snivy's sister. She was one of the best players on the team. She actually saved my life by ramming me out of the way from the seal. She was Francis the Pipulp( I put him as a character for part 3)" Francis the Serperior concluded.

Author, at this point I donít know who I should contact first Ė your obviously inbred homeschool teachers or a cryptozoologist. Your continued existence in the face of your idiocy is a defiance of natural laws.

The team was now sad about Francis the Snivy's sister losing her soul to Darkrai. The team asks some questions.

"What happens to those who lose their souls to Darkrai?" Suyapa asked

"Darkrai actually drains all the energy from the pokemon's soul, then he adds that energy to his own life force" Francis the Serperior answered

So howís that different from Azelf draining the willpower from people?

"It Leo from team Charm, and my question is: Is there any way to save Francis the Pipulp?" Leo said

"Yes, Defeat Darkrai!" Francis the Serperior answered

The team was shocked to hear that.

Who would have thought, that forcibly wrestling the soul away from the person who stole it was the answer? I swear, the only thing these dense fuckwits wouldnít be shocked by would be actual voltage.

Francis the Serperior tells the team that he wants to join. The team accepts the offer. The team hears a knock on the door.

"I will get it" Francis the Snivy said

Francis the Snivy saw a Ninetales from the window. He allows the Ninetales in. Francis the Snivy remembers meeting a Ninetales a long time ago..

Flashback from chapter 1

Normally I would be against a flashback, but with this being thirty-four chapters and four months back, Iíll let it slide. But only once.

The day for Francis starts out with his best friend , Suyapa. They both head to a forest area to camp out for a day. Suyapa is wearing shorts with a shirt that said " Comboblade Rules" printed on it. She also had green shoes, and red socks. Francis was wearing shorts, a blue shirt with the number 11 printed on it. He also had green shoes with blue socks.

Attached Image

Hold on, wait, no! This isnít a flashback. This is the first chapter Ė copied in itís entirety! How many times can you let a man down, author?! Screw this; Iím cutting this part out.

[Ö]


Flashback ends

Francis the Snivy talks to the Ninetales.

"Tory? Is that you?" Francis the Snivy asked

"Yes, it is me Francis" Tory said

"It's been a while" Francis the Snivy said

Yet not nearly long enough, now that Iíve revoked by previous pardon. Also, so much for the whole amnesia deal. What was the plot of this story again?

"Yes it has been" Tory said

The team walks over to see the duo talking. Suyapa can't believe that Tory has dropped by. Tory tells the team that he will tell the story about the first meeting in the next chapter of "POKEMON MYSTERY DUNGEON: THE MYSTERY OF FRANCIS"

Why copy-paste an entire chapter into the story for a flashback, if this asshole is just going to do a retelling next time?!

------------------------

Ever since I first came across this author, Iíve found something new to be offended by in every chapter of his stories. I guess the illiteracy roulette would eventually have ended up at a full chapter flashback, but that doesnít lessen the monumental incompetence on display. And we still have thirty chapters left, so thereís likely plenty more where that came from.


--------------------
"So... preparing to storm into the room, you jostle your badger, kick down the door, and throw it at the thug standing inside." - Moment from my D&D campaign.

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Post #24
StabbyKobold


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post Dec 5 2016, 04:08 AM
Boy, time flies when youíve got work to do outside your hobbies. Catching a cold on top doesnít help things. But Iím here now, so letís get on with the mocking.
Where did we leave off again? Oh, right, Tory the Ninetaless, the curse caster of chapter one, is here and wants to help Francis. And itís supposed to be prefaced with a retelling of how they met each other. In other news, the author has changed his profile name, again. His name is now FreyaDev, a nickname he seems to take from his newest OC. Who or what that person is about, I donít know, I donít care, I have enough on my plate as it is. Enjoy.


------------------------

Chapter 36: The Soul Games are About to Start!

Blacksterops1015: Welcome to chapter 36 of this story. In this chapter, Tory tells team Angeles about the first meeting with Francis and Suyapa when they were humans (Hint: There is more to this than chapter 1).

I would thank you, but this is also your acknowledgement that you know what the fuck you did last chapter Ė and youíre not sorry for it.

The team also finds out that the soul games are about to begin. I also have a side story on Suyapa the Pikachu latter as well. Here we go, and without further delayÖ

Team Angeles: Blacklsterops1025 does not own anything!

(Location- Team Guild- 6AM the next day)

As if time and space ever mattered in this madness.

The team is waking up to a wonderful day. The sun is shining brightly with the temp at 83 degrees. Tory the Ninetales was making breakfast, while Francis the Snivy was watching his dragon brother, and his water brother playing a game of FIFA 12.

I never really trusted these kinds of games that use year numbers in their titles. Not even Hollywood remakes the last yearís movie for a cash grab, so why should game developers?

After 5 minutes, it was breakfast, and story time. The team went to the table to eat, and talk with Tory.

(Breakfast table)

While the team was eating, Tory told the story about the life of Francis and Suyapa when they were still humans.

Being an avid stalker, Tory knew everything about them, you see.

"I am about to tell you all about Francis and Suyapa before I was forced to use the Ninetales curse on them" Tory began

The team gathered around Francis the Snivy, and Suyapa the Pikachu to listen to the story.

But not around Tory, the one telling the story, because a certain someone couldnít stop being the center of attention.

"It began on one March morning. I was a Ninetales that was looking for my first friend. I did not have any friends back then, until Francis showed up.

Author, if you replaced all instances of your name in this story with ĎJesusí, at some point Iím sure youíll be quoting religious testimony.

He was very handsome, and seemed very happy on that day. I don't know if he was happy because he has the game "NBA 2K12" or if got an "A" on a test.

Seriously, author, you need to branch out your repertoire. Try some originality, instead of just sticking with the same handful of tired retreads youíve been over before. You could do with some different games, too.

Francis then walked up to me in a sad expression as he find out that I was upset. I needed a friend, and he said that I am too cute to pass up, so he said I can be his friend.

Attached Image

Ever since that day, we have been friends. Then, on that day where they turned into pokemon, our friendship was tested. I never wanted to do the curse on both of them, after an unknown force pushed Francis and Suyapa to grab one of my tails. I know what the curse is. It is the "1,000" year thing. I was shocked to find that out, but the ninetales clan forced me to curse both of them, and if I refused, I can't be in the clan, and Francis would not have me as a pokemon.

So, instead of sticking it to your peer-pressuring family, you violate your first and best friendís bodily autonomy. You failed the friendship test, is what youíre saying.

Suyapa was a beautiful girl when I saw her with Francis on the day of the curse. I am very lucky to meet both of them. I just wished I had not to curse them both. Now, I come here to help you all. I would like to join Francis, Suyapa, and all of you to defeat Darkrai once and for all" Tory concluded.

The team accepts Tory's offer to join the team. Tory became happy and excited to join. Suyapa stated that it's the start of the soccer season and the soul games. Tory turns on the news to find unconscious pokemon on screen.

Meh. Probably a re-run. Change the channel.

"Welcome to GAMERS 19 NEWS on Thursday March 30th. We have the 1 year anniversary of the start of the soul games, along with why is this a bad time for Los Angeles. We also have the LA Gamers taking on the LA Loves in basketball"

(GOOD MORNING LA appears on the screen before the news begins)

My, these unconscious Pokťmon sure are lively.

"Today is the one year anniversary of the annual soul games in soccer. This is one of the most evil tournaments to ever compete in. If you want an example of why this tournament is evil, here is an example of the game between Team LA Wonderers and Kings of LA" the news woman said as a replay of a soccer game came on the screen.

"This is one of the most evil tournaments that the soccer world has had. Darkrai is the creator the tournament. Team LA Wonderers and Kings of LA were going after Darkrai, when Kings of LA won the game. Team LA wonderers lost 9 teammates to Darkrai. The Seal of Darkrai as it is called, took the souls of the losing team.

Consider that in an alternate universe, Sauron hosted a tennis tournament between men and elves, and thatís how he lost The One Ring. Thatís how absurd this story is; why the fuck would anyone participate?!

One of team LA Wonderers players by the name of Francis the Serperior was saved by Francis the Pipulp. Francis the Pipulp rammed her teammate out of the way of the seal. Francis the Pipulp's soul was taken by Darkrai. Now, we have more information on the courageous Pipulp who saved Francis the Serperior. She happens to be the only sister of team Angeles captain, Francis the Snivy. A year after that fateful day, Francis the Serperior joins team Angeles to save his teammates souls, and reunite Francis the Snivy, and Francis the Pipulp" The news reporter concluded

And we learned absolutely nothing new. How fucking wonderful.

(Guild)

The team has just finished watching the news, when a letter arrived. It was for the soul games. Francis the Snivy read the letter, since it was for him.

"If you ever want to see your dear sister again, attend my soul games. If you decline, I shall seal ya away!" The letter concluded

ďP.S. No, seriously, youíve got to come. Blackmail and hostage taking is the only way I can get participants Ė I donít even have a cool prize for the winner or anything. I donít even know why Iím doing this!Ē

The team is going to the soul games now. What they don't know is that if Team Angeles wins the tournament, Francis the Snivy will have to face DarkraiÖ.ALONE!

Blacksterops1025: Suyapa the Pikachu's side story is tonight!

But weíre not done yet. We still have one more chapter to cram through my filter before this post is done. Letís do it.


Chapter 37: Practice Session and New Teammates

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to chapter 37 of the story. In this chapter, Darkrai makes his presence felt by attacking Francis the Snivy before the game starts. Will Francis the Snivy faint before the game starts?

Will it actually matter? No. The answer is, has, and always will be no. I have never seen a protagonist more inconsequential to the story, despite it being all about him.

We also have a new teammate. He happens to be Francis the Snivy's brother named Roy the Umbreon.

At least heís not named Francis like the rest of the failure family.

Here we go, and without further delayÖ

Team Angeles: Blacksterops1025 dosent own anything!

(Location- Team Guild)

The team has just found a letter that was for the team.

No, it was for Francis. You explicitly stated so. What even, author?

They know that the soul games are about to start. The team then see's a shadow flying overhead. The shadow was heading for Francis the Snivy. The shadow attacks with Shadow Ball. The ball missed Francis, but the ball turns around, and hits Francis the Snivy from behind.

For all I know, Francis remained stationary throughout the attack, so I canít really act surprised.

Francis faints, and now the seal comes toward Francis. The seal almost hits Francis, but it was deflected by a psychic attack from an Umbreon. The shadow reveals itself as Darkrai. The team tries to help Francis recover, but Darkrai uses Life Drain to stop the team from getting closer to Francis. The Umbreon tells the team to head inside the base.

Sure, letís abandon the unconscious protagonist in the clutches of the villain. I donít know what possibly could go wrong here.

(Inside the Guild)

The Umbreon tells the team that he is Roy the Umbreon, and one of Francis the Snivy's brothers. He then tells the team that he wants to join.

"Team Angeles, I want to join the team" Roy said

"Yes you can" A hedgehog said

"Who's there?" Suyapa asked

"It's Sonic the hedgehog" Sonic said

Oh, shit! We got a CODE BLUE, everybody! I repeat, CODE BLUE! This is not a drill!

"Yo, you are da fast one" Francis the Buizel said

"I bet you are going to join the team too" Suyapa said

"Yes" Sonic said

"Welcome to team Angeles" Rouge the bat said

You donít even need to ask to join anymore; you can just demand a position on the team? Why does anyone even want to join them?

"Thank you" Both Roy and Sonic said

The team hears the game alarm. The team goes to the team computer room to find out that the soul games are starting tomorrow. The team heads to the soccer training area to get ready

(3rd floor of guild)

The team walks into the practice field for soccer games. Francis the Snivy revives in time to be able to practice.

You mean Darkrai just up and left after the team abandoned Francis? Did the author seriously forget that the antagonist was standing on their fucking doorstep?

The team works on passing, crossing, and other offensive drills. The team also worked on defensive drills. Here is practice 1:

(1st half)

Francis the Axew passes to Kat. Kat moves toward center. Rose is open on the right side. Kat lob passes to Rose. Rose passes to Francis the Snivy. Francis the Snivy shoots it and scores!

"Good extra pass Rose" Francis said

"Thank you" Rose said

Attached Image

We are getting a play-by-play of fucking sports practice. I can barely believe anyone would want to read this, let alone write it. How boring can this story get?

Rouge the bat passes to Sonic. Sonic sees Suyapa open. Sonic passes to Suyapa. Suyapa shoots the ball, but got the ball blocked by Francis the Axew. Francis the Axew passes to Francis the Snivy. He goes toward center. He shoots and scores!

"That was a great defensive play" Francis the Snivy says to his dragon brother

"Thanks man" Francis the Axew said

And on top, now itís also pathetic, as all Iím seeing is the author congratulating himself for minor fictional accomplishments.

(Skip to end of game- Location- Team Guild- Team Room)

The team is now in the team room getting ready for the soul games. They find out that they are going up against team Charm, which they befriended. As long as team Angeles wins, the team can save team Charm by defeating Darkrai.

I have another idea. Now, this might be complicated for you, author, but try to follow along. How about instead of beating the snot out of each other, they team up with team Charm, and then they all battle Darkrai together? Or does ďmaking senseĒ just not fly with you?

Blacksterops1025: Here are the rules for the games

1) 45 minute halves (2 of them)

2) Teams will face off in a 2 leg style tournament

Quadrupeds will be banned from playing?

3) The first games score will carry over to the second as an Aggregate score

4) The winner will be decided in the second leg with the most on Aggregate

5) Any players with yellow or red cards, will carry over

6) If team Angeles wins the tournament, Francis the Snivy will have to defeat Darkrai and save everyoneÖ..ALONE!

Why the fuck is that part of the rules? What if team Charm wins, what fucking then?

TEAM ANGELES TEAM CHARM: NEXT FRIDAY

------------------------

SoÖ Sonic is here now. Thatís a thing. Also, weíre about to see the protagonists compete in a soccer tournament, where the losers have their souls ripped out. Sounds like the plot of a sports anime, if you ask me. Or maybe Iím thinking of The Hurricanes. Man, I actually watched that show? Iím getting old.


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"So... preparing to storm into the room, you jostle your badger, kick down the door, and throw it at the thug standing inside." - Moment from my D&D campaign.

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Billybob Mcjoe


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post Dec 5 2016, 11:22 AM
I love the hurricanes! I used to watch whenever I could.

Then we moved and changed cable companies.

Stupid cable companies.


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I AM THE DARK LORD OF ALL, BOW DOWN BEFORE ME!
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StabbyKobold


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post Dec 10 2016, 12:33 PM
The story marches on and so must we. There’s a sports tournament to get through before the protagonists can face off against Darkrai – even though ambushing him whenever he shows up to devour souls would be the smarter alternative. But, you know, smart isn’t this story’s thing. Enjoy.

------------------------

Chapter 38: Leg 1: Team Angeles AT Team Charm

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to chapter 38 of the story. In this chapter, we have game 1 of the soul games. I will also make the story "Francis the Snivy's Abused Life" latter tonight.

I checked for the story, and I assume it’s now titled Francis Abused. It involves a human Francis being attacked by his father for winning the ‘student of the week’ award at his school, and ends with him making out with his sister. Yet the most offensive thing in it is still his martyr complex.

Here we go, and without further delay…

Team Angeles: Blacksterops1025 does not own anything

(Location- Gamers Field in Los Angeles)

Team Angeles is about to play in game against team Charm to go on in the Soul games tournament.

Is anyone else competing in this tournament at all?

"Are you guys ready for the battle of your lives?" Francis the Snivy asked the team

"Let's do this" Orion said

"Paws down on dat" Francis the Buizel said

Attached Image

If I never hear you speak again, Francis #2, it will be too soon.

The team is seconds away from the start of the tournament.

(20 seconds latter)

Team Charm and Team Angeles enters the field to start the battle of their lives. The line ups are announced.

Team Angeles:

(Front 3)

Francis the Snivy

Kat the Snivy

Rose the Snivy

(Middle 4)

Suyapa the Pikachu

Orion

Kavi the Servine

Francis the Axew

(Back 3)

Francis the Buizel

Ivanna the Serperior

Ania the Snivy

Goal Keeper for Team Angeles: Rouge the Bat


I’ll resist the joke of Rouge having experience with catching balls to her face. It just feels too easy with this setup.

(Subs)

Sonic

Francis the Azelf

Edge the Bisharp

Spark the Pikachu

Francis the Riolu

Katie the Servine

Tory the Ninetales

Roy the Umbreon


Do you really need so many bench warmers that you could replace almost the entire team? I mean, just one for every character named Francis should be enough.

Team Charm

(Front 4)

Leo

Carlos

Katrina

Joey

(Middle 2)

Luna

Kyle

(Sub-middle 2)

Karla

Berea

(Back 2)

Karl

Pascual (Spanish)

Goal Keeper: Anthony


The author doesn’t bother to tell us what Pokťmon they are, but we must be aware that one of them is Spanish. Priorities.

(1st half kickoff- Middle circle- Luna VS Suyapa)

Commentator mode in effect


Commentator 1: Here we go with the start of the Soul games on Channel 19 sports. This is Roy the Riolu and Rene the Emolga with today's commentary for Team Angeles VS Team Charm. We have begun.

So instead of following the action on the field, you must emulate the same experience as if we were getting a radio broadcast of the match. How many pages are left in your book of bad ideas, author?

Rene: We have Suyapa looking for an open pass. She see’s Orion in the corner. Suyapa passes to Orion. Orion spots Francis the Snivy inside the box. He passes to Francis the Snivy with a lob pass. Francis the Snivy goes for goal. He hits and scores the opening goal of the Soul Games.

(Team Angeles Goal- Francis the Snivy: 45 seconds in- 1st goal of the tournament)

(Assist to- Orion the Arcanine- 1st assist of the game)

Reaction from Roy: That was amazing how Orion got to find Francis the Snivy in the box. Francis finishes with the first goal of the tournament.

Attached Image

I don’t watch sports, but I’m pretty sure there’s not this much back-patting involved. You don’t have to put your characters on pedestals for every minor accomplishment, author.

Rene: Luna passes to Carlos for team Charm. He passes the ball to Pascual. She passes to Leo. Francis the Snivy is defending Leo with hand checking. Leo tries to dribble around Francis the Snivy, but Francis spots the ball and takes it away from Leo. Leo uses Waterfall. The field is now wet, and Francis the Snivy takes 20 points of damage. Francis passes to Orion. He goes for a goal from 32 yards. He Scores!

(Team Angeles Goal- Orion the Arcanine: 4 minutes and 34 seconds in-1st goal of the tournament)

Again with this time wasting bullshit. Three passes, an interception, and a goal shot should not take the same time it takes to boil an egg.

(Assist to- Francis the Snivy- 1st assist of the tournament)

Reaction from Roy: Orion scores goal number two for team Angeles. He gets the help from Francis the Snivy. Francis and Orion now have a 1 and 1 scene (1 goal and 1 Assist).

Rene: Luna passes the ball to Leo. He passes to Karla. Karla looks for someone who is open. She tries a goal from 35 yards. Rouge the bat grabs the ball and gives it to Suyapa, who uses Quick Attack to speed forward. She tries a shot from 12 yards. She hits the post, but Francis the Snivy is there to put it in for team Angeles!

I guess I shouldn’t complain too much. I mean, Francis is finally doing something. And that something is carrying his entire fucking team – this guy flip-flops between savior and sucker whenever it’s convenient to his image!

(Team Angeles Goal- Francis the Snivy: 8 minutes and 39 seconds in- 2nd goal of the season)

(Score 3-0)

Reaction from Roy: Suyapa is the fastest one of the field. She does it by using Quick Attack to get forward. She may have missed her shot, but the defense of team Charm was weak, so weak that Francis the Snivy got the ball and put it at the back of the neck for his second goal of the tournament.

(Skip to second half)

I’ll take your mercy whenever you offer it, but I will never beg.

Game reset:

Score

Team Angeles: 4

Team Charm: 0

Top scorers:

Francis the Snivy: 3 goals, 1 assist

Orion: 1 goal, 1 assist

Subs left:

Team Angeles: 3

Team Charm: 3


Blah blah blah, nobody fucking cares, just get it over with.

(2nd half)

Rene: Here will go for the second half of game 1 of the soul games. Its Leo and Luna in the circle. Leo passes to Luna. Luna passes to Pascual. Pascual passes to Leo. Leo lob passes to Karlos. He passes to Karla, who gets intercepted by Suyapa.

Do they even know where the ball is supposed to go?

Roy: Suyapa steals the ball from Karla. Suyapa passes to Francis the Snivy. Leo hits Francis the Snivy from behind. The referee calls for a free kick.

Rene: Francis the Snivy passes to Orion. Orion passes to Kavi. Kavi passes to Orion. Orion shoots the ball from 30 yards, and Scores!

(Team Angeles Goal- Orion the Arcanine: 60 minutes in- 2nd goal of the tournament)

And the crowd goes wild. Actually, is there a crowd at all? Nothing has established that they are not playing for an empty stadium.

(Assist to- Kavi the Servine- 1st assist of his tournament)

Reaction from Roy: Team Angeles is just getting what they want in this game. Kavi finds Orion open, and Orion takes advantage.

Oh, the innuendo – much like logic it flies way above the author’s head.

(Score: 4 to 0)

(Skip to 90th minute)

Rene: This is it. Team Angeles has won game 1 of the tournament. All team Angeles have to do now is win in their second leg with team Charm, to move on. This is it for channel 19 sports, and we will see on team Angeles off day, tomorrow on "Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: The Mystery of Francis"

Blacksterops1025: The next story starts latter tonight

But we’re continuing this until we’re two for two. Here come’s another chapter.


Chapter 39: Off Day 1: Francis is PokeNapped

Aw, crap, not this shit again.

Blacksterops1025: This is Chapter 39 of Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: The Mystery f Francis. In this chapter, team Angeles takes a day off from the tournament, however, Darkrai appears and poke naps Francis the Snivy (which is against the rules).

Because even when the bad guy is the arbiter of the fucking rules, he still doesn’t want to follow them.

Here we go, and without further delay…

Team Angeles: Blackserops1025 does not own anything you are reading.

(Location- Team Angeles Base in Los Angeles)

The team is enjoying their off day from the tournament in the team base watching the other teams play. According to the tournament standings, they will either face team Meanies or Team Lins (Team Meanies has a 7 goal lead). Team Angeles wants team Lins to win so that team Angeles does not have to face against Francis the Snivy's second unit rivals (Serperior, Zubat, Ninetales, and Koffing).

Come on, Meanies, is your need to hurt Francis really worth risking your souls?

The game is currently in the second half (78th minute) with the score at 7-4 (Team Meanies leading on Aggregate).

Here is the commentary from that game:

Yay, another play-by-play of a game I’m even less, and thus negatively, invested in. You sure know how to treat me, author.

(Location of game- Kinglins Park in Louisiana- Team Lins home court)

Commentator 1: Its Lin with the ball. He passes to Roxanne. Roxanne passes to Omar. Omar goes for goal, and gets the goal. It's now 0-1.

Commentator 2: Team Meanies defense has fallen apart in the last few minutes, allowing team Lins to take advantage.

How convenient. It makes this segment almost have tension.

Commentator 1: The score in this game is 0-1 (7-5 on Aggregate). Serperior passes to Hector. Hector passes to Serperior. Kat kicks the ball away from team Meanies to take it away. Kat passes to Lin. Lin goes for goal, and scores!

Commentator 2: That was a nice take away from Kat. She is so smart when she has the ball. Lin is a good finisher, and he finishes it with a cherry on top.

Riveting commentary. These descriptions leaves me thoroughly impressed by the skill of these athletes. Excuse, I have to put a few coins in my sarcasm jar. But don’t worry, it’s completely unrelated. Oops, there goes another one.

Commentator 1: The score is 0-2( 7-6 on Aggregate).

(Location- team Angeles team Guild)

The team is happy about a comeback from team Lins. The team watches until a window breaks in the guild. The footsteps of a pokemon can be heard from the hallway. The shadow throws a "fainting powder inside the room where team Angeles was watching the game. The team has no idea that Darkrai is about to uses Francis the Snivy's life energy as his own.

Attached Image

And you make it really hard for us to share in their surprise, when you tell us every fucking thing that’s going to happen in advance.

Francis the Buizel was the only one not to faint from the powder. Francis the Buizel tries to attack the shadow, but the shadow uses a move called "Feed Me" (I made up this move) to feed off from Francis the Buizel's energy.

Off the top of my head, I can list Leech Life, Absorb, and the entire Drain series. Did you really need to make up a new move?

Francis the Buizel faints, leaving the now unconscious Francis the Snivy defenseless. The shadow takes Francis the Snivy away from the guild.

(10 minutes latter)

Team Angeles has revived, but they are about to figure out that Francis the Snivy is missing.

"Francis da Snive is missing yo" Francis the Buizel said

I swear, ‘F-dog’, keep talking and there won’t be a ditch too shallow to hide your corpse.

"You got to be kidding" Suyapa said

"The team turns on the team Lins game. They listen for the commentator's news on a shadow, as well as the final score.

Who needs to investigate the break-in and kidnapping in their own building, when you can just as easily turn to exposition news – telling you everything we already know?

(Location- Kinglins park in Louisiana)

Commentator 1: We are going to get to the final score for this game, but before that, a shadow of a pokemon was seen carrying an unconscious purple- yellow colored Snivy. According to a lot of sources, this Snivy is Francis the Snivy, the leader of team Angeles in Los Angeles, CA. We also believe that this shadow is the shadow of the pokemon that made this tournament, Darkrai. I think everyone wants to know the final score. The final score is 10 to 9. Team Lins losses their souls to Darkrai. Team Meanies faces the winner of Team Angeles VS Team Charm, where Team Angeles leads on Aggregate 4 to is all we have for now.

“We could give less of a fuck about what happens to that Snivy; this is what gets viewers to tune in!”

(Location- Team Angeles base)

The team was mad that Team Meanies won the game, and the fact that Francis the Snivy was poke napped by Darkrai. They also question why.

"Why would Darkrai do this? Why is Francis the Snivy the chosen? Why? " The team asks in silence.

Attached Image

I have been asking that question through more than three stories now; it’s about fucking time!

The team will have to wait until May 5th during leg 2 on Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: The Mystery of Francis"

------------------------

Another kidnapping was inevitable; it was only a matter of when and by whom. I don’t understand why, though. It’s not like Francis wasn’t going to come to Darkrai eventually, and supposedly would have to face off against him alone. So even by the story’s narrative, this is pointless.

This post has been edited by StabbyKobold: Dec 10 2016, 05:36 PM


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StabbyKobold


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post Dec 18 2016, 12:52 PM
You would think the plot would get going, now that Francis has been taken hostage by the penultimate villain in this story. But, no. No, it doesnít. Enjoy.

------------------------

Chapter 40: Leg 2:Francis in Danger, Soccer Game

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to chapter 40 of Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: The Mystery of Francis. In this chapter, we have the second leg of Team Angeles VS Team Charm. Team Angeles leads by 4 to 0 on aggregate, but the main focus of this chapter is that Darkrai has poke napped Francis the Snivy.

Iím glad you can stay on track, author. Granted, the track runs more circles than a NASCAR race, but you stick to it.

Here we go, and without further delayÖ

Team Angeles: Blacksterops1025 does not own anything

(Location- Team Angeles team base)

Team Angeles is trying to get ready for the 2nd leg of the match with team Charm, but their progress is halted by the disappearance of Francis the Snivy. The team is now in the dressing room getting ready to take on Team Charm.

Their progress is halted, yet they are carrying on as if nothing has happened. When will the author learn that Francis is inconsequential to his own story?

(Soccer field)

Team Angeles is on the field to begin the game with a 4-0 lead on aggregate. The team lines up with changes to the line up
Line ups

Team Angeles:

(Front 3)

Francis the Riolu

Kat the Snivy

Rose the Snivy


Is this why you named all of Francisí siblings after him, author? So that even when heís not here, you can still have yourself play along in the sports games?

(Middle 4)

Suyapa the Pikachu

Orion

Kavi the Servine

Francis the Axew

(Back 3)

Francis the Buizel

Ivanna the Serperior

Ania the Snivy

Goal Keeper for Team Angeles: Rouge the Bat

(Subs)

Sonic


If heís just going to sit on the bench, then why drag him into this story in the first place?

Francis the Azelf

Edge the Bisharp

Spark the Pikachu

Katie the Servine

Tory the Ninetales

Roy the Umbreon

(Team Charm)


With that kind of name, you would think weíd at least be told what they look like.

(Front 4)

Leo

Carlos

Katrina

Joey

(Middle 2)

Luna

Kyle

(Sub-middle 2)

Karla

Berea

(Back 2)

Karl

Pascual (Spanish)

Goal Keeper: Anthony


I canít help but feel these names come from somewhere; like thereís some inane and obscure logic that Iím not seeing. I donít know, this author is making me paranoid.

(1st half)

Rene: Here we go in the first half of the second leg of this game. Suyapa has the ball for team Angeles. She finds Orion. She passes to Orion. Orion scores!

(Team Angeles Goal- Orion: 30 seconds in- 2nd goal of the tournament)

(Assist to- Suyapa- 1st assist of the tournament)

Maybe you could give me an assist, author. Explain to me the point of keeping track of these.

Roy: Suyapa is so good finding her teammates. She finds Orion open, and she delivers it, and Orion finishes.

Rene: With that goal, team Angeles leads 1-0 (5-0 on Aggregate). Karla passes to Karl. Karl finds Pascual. Pascual looks at her right side to see Berea open. She passes to Berea. Berea shoots, but Suyapa blocks the ball.

Roy: Suyapa passes to Francis the Riolu. He passes to Orion. Orion goes for goal, and scores!

I think Orion has been consistently the best player on Francisí team since I started reading these stories. Heís getting my vote for new protagonist.

(Team Angeles Goal- Orion: 7 minutes and 7 seconds in- 3rd goal (ties with Francis the Snivy)

(Assist to- Francis the Riolu- 1st assist in tournament)

Rene: That was amazing. Orion is a good finisher, and he has matched Francis the Snivy for goals scored in this tournament.

ďKind of weird that heís not here right now, isnít it, Roy? Itís almost like heís somewhere else; somewhere more interesting to see than this game, even. Maybe, just maybe, Team Angeles shouldnít be playing right now, and instead find their missing friend. But I guess thatís not important to them. Oh well.Ē

Roy: With Orion's goal, the score is 2-0 (6-0 on Aggregate)Ö.

(Location- Unknown area)

Francis the Snivy has just revived 13 hours after he was taken away from the guild by Darkrai (the shadow). He knows he is not inside the guild, but inside a castle of some sorts. The shadow all of a sudden attacks Francis the Snivy with Shadow Ball. Francis took major damage (89 damage points out of 100). Francis is already about to faintÖ

Attached Image

So, Iím guessing the main focus of this chapter is going to be how Francis has been kidnapped, but not about how anyone is trying to rescue him. Because no one is Ė even after thirteen fucking hours. Why the fuck does he even exist?

(At the soccer game)

Score: 4-0 (8-0 on aggregate)

Time: 90th minute (added time: 2 minutes)

Team Angeles has officially won the game.

Yet again proving that Francis is superfluous to the team. If he isnít even vital to their sports games, why have them be a part of the story?

Darkrai was supposed to steal all of team Charms souls, but what was about to happen, will change team Angeles. Darkrai appears on the monitor.

"Hello players of the Soul Games. I am Darkrai, the one with a precious Snivy with me" Darkrai said as the crowd booed him.

I could see the point of this behavior, if the author was a wrestling fan instead of a soccer maniac.

"Team Angeles, you better listen up. Your friend is now mine!.." Darkrai said as he turned off the transmission.

The crowd continues to boo Darkrai. Team Angeles fears was about to come true.

That would assume they had any to begin with, and with how they been ignoring the ďmain focus of the chapterĒ so far, I donít think they do.

(Location- Darkrai's castle in Los Angeles)

As Darkrai turned off the transmission, he grabs Francis the Snivy by the legs. Darkrai uses Sky Attack on Francis. Darkrai flies upward while holding on to Francis. Darkrai slams Francis on the floor making him faint, but the pain is far from overÖ

I guess this is the masochistic equivalent of a stroke job. Were it someone elseís pain the author was getting off on, I could at least hate him for it. This? I want to feel pity, but I donít think itís deserved.

Blacksterops1025: On May 5th, what will happen? Stay tuned!

The phrase ďstay tunedĒ implies that you want the audience to not switch to a different entertainment venue in the time between now and whenever the next part is. At least Iím not as selfish with the attention Iím given, because another mocked chapter is coming right now.


Chapter 41: Francis Losing His Memories? Part 1of 2

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to chapter 41 of the story "Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: The Mystery of Francis" In this chapter, Francis the Snivy is in danger, and Yuneri the Snivy goes romantic.

Action! Romance! This story has it all and yet none of it!

Here we go, and without further delay,

Team Angeles: Blacksterops1025 does not own anything

New Language Alert level 2- French words translated

Parlez-vous dumbass?

(Location- Darkrai's Castle in East L.A)

Last statement before cut off from last chapter: Darkrai has just made Francis the Snivy faint in the last chapter

(Current situation)

Darkrai is now starring at Francis the Snivy's unconscious body while laughing. Darkrai goes back to interrupting team Angeles's victory against Team Charm by doing a transmission.

Another one this soon? This doesnít make him seem intimidating, it makes him look forgetful.

(Location- Team Angeles soccer field)

Team Angeles is now celebrating their victory over team charm. They are now about to leave, when Darkrai's transmission stops them.

"Good job winning your match team Angeles!" Darkrai yelled

The crowd boos Darkrai.

Weíve been here, author. Could you kindly move the fuck on?

"I have some good news for you. You get to face team Meanies (-Gengar). The bad news, well, everyone might want to close their eyes!" Darkrai yelled as he grabbed Francis the Snivy, and attacked him with "Memory Wipe" (The 3rd move I made up). Darkrai held Francis the Snivy up and held his head while injecting something into his head. This injection made Darkrai laugh at what he has done to one of the nicest pokemon in Los Angeles.

Attached Image

You wish to evoke emotion, author. You want me to feel bad for Francis. You want me to sympathize; to be horrified; to whimper and weep for his hopeless situation. Yet all I want is to have my memories wiped as well.

"You all say what I did there people. Well here is a lesson for all of you. Team Angeles, you have 3.5 days to save Francis the Snivy. If you fail at this challenge, well, let's say that I shall erase her memory!" Darkrai yelled

Okay, how was that not done just now? What the hell did ďMemory WipeĒ do, if it DIDNíT wipe the bastardís memory?!!

Team Angeles knows that Darkrai means "his memory" not "her memory".

I have never seen faster backpedaling on something that could have been fixed with the fucking backspace key. [/b][/color]

The team gets worried. Yuneri was very concerned.

"I want to save Francis the Snivy so that he can see me and Francis the Buizel marry each other" Yuneri said

How wonderfully selfish of you.

"What's dat you say?" Francis the Buizel asked

"Oh, nothing. I'm just concerned that Francis the Snivy might have his memory wiped clean" Yuneri said

"Ya sure? I taught I heard that yo want to marry moi (me in French)" Francis the Buizel said

"I see" Yuneri said

"Les frites et les raisins combinen Yuneri? (Those French fries and Grapes costÖ?)" Francis the Buizel said

Iím sorry, what? Well, If youíre already ordering, then Iíll have small milkshake and a side order of what the fuck are you smoking right now!?

"No! I said that we must save Francis.." Yuneri said until Francis is Buizel interrupted her

"Porquoi (why?)" Francis the Buizel asked

Attached Image

Why? WHY?! The storyís protagonist has been kidnapped, his physical assault broadcasted to an entire sports stadium, complete with the villain delivering the utmost clichť of monologues to bait Francis' friends into rushing to his rescue, and still Francis #2 has the audacity to ask WHY they should rescue his fucking brother?! I donít know if the story has suddenly become self-aware, or if the author has started huffing glue. This shit is unbelievable!

"That's because his memory will be wiped clean (wow Yuneri, you got some French skills)" Yuneri said

" Je deteste Darkrai (I hate Darkrai)" Francis the Buizel said

" Me too" Yuneri said

"Ok" Francis the Buizel said

Are you done? Is the madness leaving? Can the story continue?

The team knows that latter on that Francis the Buizel and Yuneri the Snivy will put on the "romance dance".

Ew.

MeanwhileÖ

(Location- Darkrai's Castle in East L.A)

Darkrai is now enjoying his moment with the unconscious Francis the Snivy. Darkrai "throws a party" for his accomplishment.

"I should throw myself a little party" Darkrai said

IÖ I mean, sure. Knock yourself out, dude.

Darkrai calls for les rassins, les frites, un coca, et un gueateau (grapes, French fries, soda, and a cake). The guards deliver his "treats" to him.

"Merci (thank you)" Darkrai said

"No problem" the guards said

What is this? What am I reading? How many of his parentsí pills did the author swallow?

Darkrai enjoys his treats as he watches Francis the Snivy. Darkrai is planning to seal Francis the Snivy away in the Angeles National Forest after Francis has his memory wiped cleanÖ.

Blacksterops1025: What is planned for after May 5th? Find out soon on my profile! Don't miss Out!

Team Angeles says: WE LOVE LOS ANGELES!

Not as much as I enjoy ragging on bad fanfics. Thereís space enough here for another chapter, so letís get to it.


Chapter 42: Francis Losing His Memories? Part 2of 2

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to chapter 42 of the story "Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: The Mystery of Francis" In today's chapter, team Angeles is on their way to save Francis the Snivy, and Yuneri the Snivy and Francis the Buizel get it started (They start the romance events).

Frankly, given who is writing this story, Iím expecting less chemistry than between actual Barbie dolls.

Here we go, and without further delayÖ

Team Angeles: Blacksterops1025 does not own anything!

Alerts in this chapter:

Blood warning level 4- Francis the Snivy is injured and blood is flowing from at least 4 parts of his body

I see your four unnamed body parts and raise you a pair of eyes and two rows of grinded down teeth.

New Language Alert level 2- French words translated

Romance Alert level 5- Yuneri the Snivy and Francis the Buizel get it on!

No, theyíre not. I havenít looked ahead, but I know theyíre not. Because that would imply the author knows what he is writing here, much less that he knows what sex is.

(Location- Darkrai's castle)

Last line before the bell: Darkrai enjoys his treats as he watches Francis the Snivy. Darkrai is planning to seal Francis the Snivy away in the Angeles National Forest after Francis has his memory wiped clean.

(Current situation)

Darkrai has just finished his "victory party" when he noticed that Francis the Snivy revives in front of him. Darkrai attacks Francis to keep him unconscious longer. Darkrai then does his "magic" to start erasing Francis the Snivy's memories.

You are making it very hard for me to not devolve into third grade immaturity with these joke setups, author.

(Location- Team Angeles base- Yuneri the Snivy's bedroom)

Yuneri the Snivy and Francis the Buizel are talking about the mission ahead. They don't know that it is already off to a cheep start.

"How should we do dis mission" Francis the Buizel asked

"Why don't vous (you Ė in a formal manner) tell moi (me)" Yuneri the Snivy said

"J'aime vous (I like you)" Francis the Buizel said

"Really?" Yuneri the Snivy asked

Attached Image

For heavenís sake, will you just go save your friend already?!

"Oui Madame (Yes Madame)" Francis the Buizel said

"J'ai adore vous (I adore you)" Yuneri the Snivy said

"Should we do this little moment of ours?" Francis the Buizel asked

"Yes we shall" Yuneri the Snivy said

Take your perversion to the daycare, you fiends.

The duo got closer to each other, close enough to kiss each other. Kat saw this action and cheered them on.

"You two look good together" Kat said

"Thank you" Francis the Buizel and Yuneri the Snivy said together

"We must save Francis the Snivy before all of his memories are wiped clean!" Everyone yelled

What is this now, the third time in this story this is the agenda? Maybe itís the author who needs his memory saved.

(Living room area)

Francis the Riolu and Roy the Umbreon were playing a game of "FIFA 12" when they heard everyone yell about the mission at hand. The duo of footballers (soccer players term outside the United States) abort their game to save the one they love, Francis the Snivy.

Oh yes, I can really feel their love, what with them playing videogames while Francis is being held hostage. Iím sounding like a broken record by now, arenít I?

(Darkrai's Castle)

Darkrai has just erased about 3.9% of Francis the Snivy's memories, when he finds out that team Angeles is on their way to rescue Francis the Snivy. Darkrai gets ready to defend his work of horror. Darkrai wants to make sure that Francis the Snivy's memories are wiped clean.

But why?! What worth is it to him? What does Francis even remember that he would risk losing; the guy is already an amnesiac!

Team Angeles wants to save Francis the Snivy. Which side will win? The only way to find out, is to read and vote. The saga begins tomorrow on "Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: The Mystery of Francis"

Weíre on chapter forty-two or your fourth story with this character, and youíre saying the ďsagaĒ begins next time? How many times must you violate the written medium in front of our eyes?

------------------------

Good grief. Just when you think youíve hit rock bottom, the author drops you through another trapdoor into the next pit of madness. Every. Fucking. Time. It just never ends.


--------------------
"So... preparing to storm into the room, you jostle your badger, kick down the door, and throw it at the thug standing inside." - Moment from my D&D campaign.

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Post #28
StabbyKobold


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post Jan 5 2017, 08:19 AM
The new year is underway, the educational system is still a burden on my free time, and the planet keeps spinning; nothing new. Iím tempted to say the same thing about this fanfic, and yet it still finds ways to ramp up the crazy. Enjoy.

------------------------

Chapter 43: The Francis VS Darkrai Saga Begins

Blacksterop1025: Welcome to chapter 43 of this story. In this chapter, Team Angeles is on their way to save Francis the Snivy. Here we go, and without further delayÖ

Weíve had plenty of that already, so, please.

Team Angeles: Blacksterops1025 does not own anything

(Location- team Angeles team base)

Last line before the bell: Darkrai has just erased about 3.9% of Francis the Snivy's memories, when he finds out that team Angeles is on their way to rescue Francis the Snivy.

I wonder what those 3.9% consists of. Childhood memories? Trivia knowledge? I mean, its obviously too big to be his literary skills.

Darkrai gets ready to defend his work of horror. Darkrai wants to make sure that Francis the Snivy's memories are wiped clean. Team Angeles wants to save Francis the Snivy. Which side will win?

Implying there is somehow a benefit of being victorious in this world, where everything goes back to status quo within the span of a paragraph.

(current situation)

Team Angeles is now ready to save Francis the Snivy from Darkrai. The team is planning their trip to Darkrai's castle.

"According to the news sources, Francis the Snivy is trapped inside Darkrai's Castle" Kat said

Gee, in hindsight it seems a bit silly to go compete in a tournament to meet Darkrai, when you could have just gone to his fucking home.

"Ok" Suyapa said

"Where is Darkrai's Castle?" Rose asked

"East L.A" an unknown voice said

The team sees a Serperior. The team finds out that this Serperior is Francis the Serperior, Francis the Snivy's older brother. Francis the Serperior joins team Angeles to find Francis the Snivy.

Wonderful! There are currently five people on the team sharing the authorís first name, and none of them is the titular main character Ė also named after him. This story has more self-insertion than a clone gangbang.

(Location- Darkrai's castle in East L.A)

Darkrai has just erased 4.9% of Francis the Snivy's memories. Darkrai is enjoying what he has done. Darkrai goes outside of East L.A to find team Angeles.

Why? He baited Team Angeles to come to him, how fucking impatient is he?

(Location-LA Live in Downtown L.A)

Team Angeles is now in downtown Los Angeles to try to find Darkrai. They spot the convention center. The team goes inside to look for clues.

Let me guess, they find a note randomly on the ground, right?

(Location-Convention Center)

The team is inside the convention center to look for clues on how to find Darkrai. The team finds a note on the floor.

Attached Image

This is fucking unbelievable. Itís like the fourth time this author has pulled this shit on me. I mean, to a three-year-old, the logic would sort of make sense. Investigators pick up random shit off the ground all the time, and they use it to figure out where to go next. But to not understand the investigative process, or that these clues has to come from somewhere that makes sense, is goddamn mindboggling.

"Look at this, I found a note" Suyapa said

"I see a penguin pokemon's paw print" Kat said

"To a team in Los Angeles, Please defeat Darkrai and save me from his harm. Francis the Snivy is my brother, and I am his sister. From, Francis the Pipulp" Suyapa read

Why the fuck do you need saving, when even without being in possession of a soul you can leave clues in places you somehow foresee the team would go. This is what Iím fucking talking about; nothing of this makes sense!

"Wow, I did not know that Francis the Snivy has a sister" Suyapa said

"I think you know that since Francis the Serperior told the story" Rose said

"Yes" Suyapa said

I donít know what I should be worried about most. The fact that Suyapa is starting to lose her memory, or that the author is trying to be funny.

The team exits the convention center to find the sky turning dark. The team spots a shadow in the sky. The shadow flies toward team Angeles and attacks Yuneri the Snivy. Yuneri dodges the attack. The team realized that the shadow is Darkrai.

Not now, Darkrai. Team Angeles is gathering clues in order to find you.

Darkrai plans to injure the entire team with a move. Darkrai used Shadow Ball.

The team is now in the line of dangerous fire as they run inside the convention center. The team makes it inside, only to find that Darkrai teleported inside with them.

If he can teleport, why does he bother to fly anywhere?

Darkrai unleashes a Shadow Ball attack that is 30 feet wide and 59 feet tall. The attack hits the team hard. Everyone fainted, except for Yuneri the Snivy and Darkrai.

Funny how these kind of attacks never come out, when thereís a tiny Snivy nearby willing to throw himself in front of them.

Yuneri knows that she is not safe from Darkrai. Yuneri tries to run, but an unknown force stops her (hint: It is not Azelf). Darkrai attacks Yuneri with Shadow Ball. Yuneri was for sure to be hit, until Francis the Buizel revives and takes the attack (Romance Magic!).

No matter what you call it, author, itís still something you pull out of your ass.

Yuneri taught she was done for until her lover came to save her (Francis the Buizel faints for taking the attack).

Blacksterops1025: This is just the beginning of a long Saga with Darkrai. What will happen? Next week, stay tuned!

Since weíre gluttons for punishment though, weíll just move right along with the next chapter.


Chapter 44: Francis the Azelf returns, Romance?

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to chapter 44 of this story. In this chapter, we have romance with Suyapa and Francis the Snivy. In tomorrow's edition, we have a saving Heroine. Yuneri the Snivy faints! Why you ask?

I didnít, but at least you assume Iím capable of questioning your decisions.

Wait for tomorrow's edition. Here we go, and without further delayÖ

Team Angeles: Blacksterops1025 does not own anything in any of the chapters you are reading.

(Location-Team Angeles team base)
Last line before the bell:

Do you actually have a bell? Because I wouldnít put it past you, author.

The team is now in the line of dangerous fire as they run inside the convention center. The team makes it inside, only to find that Darkrai teleported inside with them. Darkrai unleashes a Shadow Ball attack that is 30 feet wide and 59 feet tall. The attack hits the team hard.

Oh my gosh, is the convention center okay?

Everyone fainted, except for Yuneri the Snivy and Darkrai. Yuneri knows that she is not safe from Darkrai. Yuneri tries to run, but an unknown force stops her (hint: It is not Azelf). Darkrai attacks Yuneri with Shadow Ball. Yuneri was for sure to be hit, until Francis the Buizel revives and takes the attack (Romance Magic!).

Certain people would probably call it misogyny, but to each their own.

Yuneri taught she was done for, until her lover came to save her (Francis the Buizel faints for taking the attack).

(Current situation)

Yuneri the Snivy is currently battling Darkrai alone (The rest of team Angeles was unconscious and unable to battle). Darkrai starts laughing his head off.

Trust me, Darkrai, this gets less funny every time you see it. And Iíve seen it a lot.

"HAHA! You think your friend will remember ya now? Well, think again! I erasedÖ" Darkrai said until Yuneri interrupted him

"None of his memories" Yuneri said as she launched a Leaf Blade attack.

Attached Image

Is Yuneri just cocksure or is Darkrai really such an impotent antagonist, that he has to lie about his villainous achievements?

Yuneri runs toward Darkrai. As she runs, she jumps up, and extends her blue tail like a blade to strike Darkrai. Darkrai took 30 points of Damage. Darkrai gets mad.

"You think you are so tough, why not try this attack that will "put you to sleep" for 20 minutes" Darkrai said as he used a move all too familiar to team Angeles.

We traded out Gengar the pokť-murderer for this?

"Stare Dare!" Darkrai yelled as he stared into Yuneri's eyes. Yuneri fights the stare. Darkrai was sure to attack Yuneri, until Suyapa the Pikachu appeared on the monitor in the Convention center. Darkrai cannot believe where Suyapa is at.

Neither can I, since I assumed she was unconscious at this point. If she woke up, why wouldnít she just join the fight?

(Darkrai's castle- transmission room)

Suyapa the Pikachu is now about to do a transmission.

"Darkrai! You have hurt my best friend for far too long! Don't you dare put your hands on Yuneri, because if you do, we will find you and we have a secret pokemon that can destroy you!" Suyapa yelled in the transmission

I canít tell if this is an actual desperate lie, or if the author is setting up for his next asspull.

(Convention Center)

Darkrai did not care if he touched Yuneri. He wanted to avenge Gengar by taking out one member of team Angeles.

Fucking finally, some actual motivation for the villain. Which is revenge for defeat of the previous villain, whose motivation is still unaccounted for. Still missing that first domino push, but itís something, I guess.

Darkrai wants take out Yuneri and Francis the Snivy. Darkrai does his magic.

"StareÖDare!" Darkrai yelled

If you have to voice your attacks, how about speaking softly enough so your opponent canít hear you? Does the number of decibels increase its effect or something?

Darkrai stares into Yuneri's eyes again. Yuneri fell for the attack. Darkrai was about to control Yuneri's body, until the unexpected happened.

"Yuneri, NOOOO!" a voice yelled

The unknown voce got closer. When the attack ended, Darkrai did not strike at Yuneri, he struck at Francis the Azelf. Yuneri was very thankful for this event.

"Thank you sir" Yuneri said

"No problem my new friend" Francis the Azelf said

Author, if weíve seen the character before, then the voice isnít unknown to us. Also, how could these two not have met each other yet?

"Francis the Snivy is in danger!" Yuneri said

When isnít he?

"We will bring Darkrai to his castle to face the one who he hurt the most. I shall do my own version of Stare Dare" Francis the Azelf said

Francis the Azelf does his magic by putting his two tails on his head. His jewel lights up red as Darkrai stares at him and falls for the Azelf's spell. Francis the Azelf then controls Darkrai's body, and tells him the following:

"You dare touched my brother Francis the Snivy. You dared to touch beautiful Yuneri the Snivy over here. You dared to touch me.

How Stare Dare he?!

Well I tell what, you shall face the one you hurt the most, and if you lose to him, I shall drain all your willpower, until you are an empty shell! I shall even ask Francis the Uxie to erase your memories as well, since you wanted to erase Francis the Snivy's memories to get revenge for Gengar!"

You mean the whole thing about Francis facing off against Darkrai alone is now being endorsed by his friends? Please tell me they at least hamstring the villain before they throw them both into the gladiatorial pit.

Yuneri is enjoying what Francis the Azelf said.

(Darkrai's castle)

Suyapa is about to free Francis the Snivy from getting his memories erased. Suyapa deactivates the machine, and unlocks the cage to free Francis the Snivy. What was about to happen next, was a big surprise.

So it probably doesnít make a lick of sense.

"Francis, ya alright?" Suyapa asked

"Yes, I am" Francis the Snivy said

" Do you remember me?" Suyapa asked

To be fair, more than half the shit Suyapa does in this story is when Francis is unconscious or elsewhere; she should probably ask this even without the amnesia threat.

"I believe your name isÖ..umÖ.Suyapa" Francis the Snivy said before he fainted from the pain that Darkrai gave him

(Flashback from chapter 40)

As Darkrai turned off the transmission, he grabs Francis the Snivy by the legs. Darkrai uses Sky Attack on Francis. Darkrai flies upward while holding on to Francis. Darkrai slams Francis on the floor making him faint, but the pain is far from overÖ

(Flashback ends)


Attached Image

Seriously? A flashback just in case weíve forgotten what happened to Francis? Did you really need your masochism fix that badly while the villain was restrained?

Suyapa then kisses Francis the Snivy while he is unconscious.

One of these days youíve got to ask for consent, Suyapa.

Blacksterops1025: Tomorrow, the five day battle!

Sounds dope. As in sleep inducing as if by narcotics. Letís go on to the next chapter and cure our collective insomnia.


Chapter 45: Team Angeles Encounters Darkrai

Bitch, I thought you had him secured!

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to chapter 45 of the story. In this chapter, we have the first of six days of Team Angeles VS Darkrai. We also have Yuneri the Snivy fainting.

For those freaks who are into that?

Why you ask?

Yes, I do. Because your fetishes are continuing to worry me.

Stay tuned. Here we go and without further delayÖ.

Team Angeles: Blacksterops1025 does not own anything

(Location- Convention Center)

Francis the Azelf has just told Darkrai to face Francis the Snivy one on one. Darkrai gives up and agrees to the conditions.

Why wouldnít he? You might as well have taken Red Skull captive and told him to go one-on-one with pre-super serum Steve Rogers.

Yuneri the Snivy gets ready to see the battle of her life. Darkrai had a message for anyone who messed with him.

"You think you are going to watch your friend win? Well, think again!" Darkrai yelled as he pressed a button.

As Darkrai pressed a button, a door opened on top of Yuneri the Snivy, and dropped a rope. Once Yuneri touched the rope, the ropes tie her up, and made sure that she won't escape. Darkrai pressed another button that allowed an unknown force to drain energy from Yuneri.

Well, to be fair, this will definitely prevent Yuneri from watching the battle. Where is Francis the Azelf and why isnít he preventing this?

Darkrai made escape impossible by pressing another button that can make the ropes squeeze Yuneri, until she faints. Yuneri tries using Leaf Blade, but her tail was too tired up to do anything. As soon as Yuneri fainted, Darkrai does something to her that will motivate Francis the Snivy to win.

Sorry, but Francis is going to need a lot more than just motivation.

"Stare Dare!" Darkrai yelled

Darkrai stares at Yuneri's unconscious body while making sure that no one will block the way. Darkrai tries to control Yuneri's body, but, Darkrai gets distracted when a Water Gun attack is fired at him.

Attached Image

"Ya better not mess with my girl yo" Francis the Buizel said as he revived

"I will injure her!" Darkrai yelled as he launched a Shadow Ball attack at Yuneri

"Not if you can get through me first" Francis the Buizel yelled as he blocked the attack

" You really think you can save Yuneri? Think again!' Darkrai yelled as he pressed a button

Where the fuck do these buttons keep coming from?

Darkrai touches Yuneri's body, and drains all the life energy out of her. Darkrai's attack, and (of course) life points have doubled from 200 points of attack to 400 points of attack, and his life points are doubled from 600 points to 1,200 points. Francis the Buizel is now in danger of fainting in one hit.

Now, and any time up to this point, yes.

"I must avenge her" Francis the Buizel said

"You shall not do that!" Darkrai yelled as he opens a door that drops rocks on Francis the Buizel.

WHERE ARE WE?!

Darkrai sees Francis the Buizel running for cover. He grabs Francis the Buizel and holds him, until a rock hits Francis the Buizel. Francis the Buizel faints, and you know what happens next( Darkrai's attack goes from 400 to 800, and his life points goes from 1,200 to 2,400)

So, is this the soul stealing attack, or is it something different? Do we even care at this point?

(Location- Darkrai's castle)

Francis the Snivy and Suyapa are watching the transmission from the room. Francis the Snivy knows that this battle won't be an easy one by any means.

Then why donít you get some help? Donít tell me youíre still going to do this mano e mano.

So, what is going to happen to team Angeles? What are the rules for this battle? Will Francis the Mesprit appear? Find out starting next week on "Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: The Mystery of Francis the Snivy"

Iíd rather find out in the obituaries, honestly.

------------------------

It never ceases to amaze me, just how many times this author contorts his story just to keep the conflict going. Then again, if its picking between horrible action scenes and the awkward, infantile romance subplots, Iíd be hard pressed to choose.


--------------------
"So... preparing to storm into the room, you jostle your badger, kick down the door, and throw it at the thug standing inside." - Moment from my D&D campaign.

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Post #29
StabbyKobold


Critically Sarcastic
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Group: Members
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From: Denmark
Member No.: 660
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post Jan 28 2017, 04:29 PM
I guess I canít escape getting back to this mock. Itís been a while, and Iíve been rather busy this past month. But I still remember where we left off, and even if I didnít, the author is obnoxious enough to remind us at the start of every chapter. Enjoy.

------------------------

Chapter 46: Francis VS Darkrai 1 Part 1 of 3

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to chapter 46 of the story. In this chapter, Francis the Snivy has the first chance to face Darkrai.

Had I known to keep count, I might have wanted to dispute this. Forty-six chapters in I just canít be bothered.

Will Francis the Snivy be able to defeat Darkrai? Find out next here on

" Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: The Mystery of Francis"

Team Angeles: Blacksterops1025 does not own anything!

Last line before the bell:

Which is totally necessary to include. I mean, remembering stuff or going back to the previous chapter is just so hard to do.

"I must avenge her" Francis the Buizel said

"You shall not do that!" Darkrai yelled as he opens a door that drops rocks on Francis the Buizel.

Darkrai is a merciless Dungeon Master, but Iíd still play with him.

Darkrai sees Francis the Buizel running for cover. He grabs Francis the Buizel and holds him, until a rock hits Francis the Buizel. Francis the Buizel faints, and you know what happens next( Darkrai's attack goes from 400 to 800, and his life points goes from 1,200 to 2,400)

(Current Situation- Location- Darkrai's castle)

Current situation is Ďfuckedí, but thatís always a given.

Suyapa and Francis the Snivy are waiting for Darkrai to face Francis the Snivy in a battle that will determine the path of this story. The duo are urging Darkrai to hurry.

ďWill you stop mangling Francis the Buizel already? Weíre on a tight schedule here!Ē

(Los Angeles to East L.A Train Station)

Team Angeles is now at the train station ready to head to Darkrai's castle to face Darkrai as a team. What the team doesn't know is that the battle is already starting, and what is more is that Darkrai is already attacking Francis the Snivy (Darkrai teleports to his castle)

(Location- Darkrai's castle- Battle in effect)

I remember a time when stories actually had a point in scene changes. It all seems so far away now.

Current Leader: Darkrai (20 points)

Referee: None

Current Life Points

Francis the Snivy: 9,980

Darkrai: 10,000

How come weíre up at ten thousand when Darkrai draining Francis the Buizel put him at a quarter of that?

(Battle Mode)

Possession: Francis the Snivy

Suyapa is now watching the match inside a cage that Darkrai trapped her in.

Attached Image

Francis uses Leaf Blade

Francis the Snivy runs forward toward Darkrai. Francis jumps up and extends his tail like a blade. Darkrai grabs Francis's tail, and uses Shadow Ball. Francis gets hit, and takes 100 life point damage.

Darkrai: 10,000 (Darkrai is on a 120 to 0 point run)

Yes, author, we can do the math. We just donít care about it.

Francis: 9,880

Darkrai uses Shadow Ball

Darkrai forms a ball with his paws. He then launches the ball at Francis. Francis dodges that, and counters with Leaf Blade. Francis strikes Darkrai and deals 40 life point damage to stop Darkrai's scoring run.

Darkrai: 9,960

Francis: 9,880

Unless something new happens, weíre going to be here for a while.

Francis uses Magical Leaf

Francis jumps up in the air to spawn leaves in different colors. He sends them straight at Darkrai. Darkrai takes 100 damage, and Francis takes the lead, and has a 140 point scoring run.

Francis: 9,880 (140 point scoring run, first lead of the battle)

Darkrai: 9,860

Attached Image

Darkrai uses Curse

Darkrai casts a curse on himself, and Francis. He infects Francis with the curse by injecting him with a needle. Francis is cursed, and takes 500 life point damage each turn (except for the next possession)

Suyapa is now worried about Francis the Snivy

I canít quite decide, if thatís too late or too early for this battle.

Francis uses Leaf Blade

Francis runs forward and strikes Darkrai, and deals 300 points of damage.

Francis: 9,880 (Affected by curse, scoring run ends)

Darkrai: 9,560

Darkrai uses Shadow Ball

Darkrai forms a ball, but Francis runs toward Darkrai, and knocks the ball into Darkrai. Darkrai takes 500 points of damage.

Oh, I see. The moment there isnít a referee around then the dirty tricks come out.

Francis: 9,480 (Curse effect equals 500 life point damage, lost the lead)

Darkrai: 9,560 (Gains the lead due to curse effect)

Francis uses Magical Leaf

Francis jumps up and spawns leaves and sends them straight at Darkrai. Darkrai takes 400 points of damage

Francis: 9,480 (Gains lead for the moment)

Since you want this imaginary pendulum of nonimportance to continue swinging, sure.

Darkrai: 9,160

(Darkrai's castle- Entrance)

Team Angeles has arrived at the castle. Francis the Buizel and Yuneri the Snivy are now kissing each other, while Orion is opening the door.

Boy, he sure recovered quickly. Consequences? Lasting effects? Fuck that noise, continuity is just a vague suggestion from one chapter to the next.

Once the opened the door, they found a television showing the battle in progress. The team also spots Suyapa in a cage. The team hurries to the battle field to help Francis the Snivy, however, Darkrai is about to take the lead by a big margin, and will do something to Francis the Snivy

(Battlefield)

Darkrai uses Shadow Ball, and Stare Dare together

Innovative, but itís not quite a gunshot to the head. Gengar still has you beat, Darkrai.

Darkrai form a ball with his paws. He teleports behind Francis to force him to stare into Darkrai's eyes. Francis can't resist Darkrai's eyes. Darkrai controls Francis the Snivy's body, and his own Shadow Ball attack. Darkrai slams Francis the Snivy, and the ball into a wall (Did you know: This is considered as an offside and a red card. There was no referee).

Did you know: You can go fuck yourself.

Francis the Snivy takes 2,000 life point damage, and an additional 500 for the curse. That makes a grand life point damage total of 2,500.

Suyapa screams loud enough that team Angeles can hear her.

This is the "All caps moment":

"GET A REFEREE IN HERE! DARKRAI IS A CHEETER AND FRANCIS THE SNIVY IS INJURED!" Suyapa said

Hey, you were the ones who couldnít wait to battle Darkrai. But the moment itís not going your way, suddenly you start crying foul. Suck it up, buttercup.

"Im coming Suyapa!" Kat said

Team Angeles enters the battle field. Kat is horrified at what happened to Francis the Snivy

(Cliffhanger time)

"FRANCIS NO!..." Kat Screamed (Did you know: Suyapa leads series of cliffhanger times 2 to1. Normally, I do cliffhanger time with Suyapa)

Iíd do cliffhanger time with you, just so I could kick you off the fucking cliff.

Scores at the bell:

Darkrai: 9,160

Francis: 6,980

Blacksterops1025: Next Friday: Battle part 2

Preview: Darkrai now has a outstanding lead over Francis the Snivy. Darkrai has also injured Francis the Snivy.

No fucking shit, itís almost like getting into a fight causes injuries. How many levels of moron are we one here?

Can Francis the Snivy come back from almost 3,000 points down, or will Darkrai have darker plans for Francis the Snivy? Find out: NEXT WEEK!

I mean, you could wait a week, I suppose. But you could also just continue reading as I do the next chapter, right now.


Chapter 47: Francis VS Darkrai 1 Part 2 of 3

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to a special Thursday edition of "Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: The Mystery of Francis". Here we go, and without further delay,

Team Angeles: Blacksterops1025 does not own anything!

Last Lines before he bell:

(Battlefield)

That word alone should send images of horrors and war coursing through my mind. And yet, all it makes me elicit is incompetent, exotic-looking beanie babies, that refuse to break no matter how much theyíre stomped on.

Darkrai uses Shadow Ball, and Stare Dare together

Darkrai form a ball with his paws. He teleports behind Francis to force him to stare into Darkrai's eyes. Francis can't resist Darkrai's eyes.

I guess Francis had eyes in the back of his head, for Darkrai to pull this off.

Darkrai controls Francis the Snivy's body, and his own Shadow Ball attack. Darkrai slams Francis the Snivy, and the ball into a wall (Did you know: This is considered as an offside and a red card. There was no referee). Francis the Snivy takes 2,000 life point damage, and an additional 500 for the curse. That makes a grand life point damage total of 2,500.

But what was truly hurt was his feelings.

Suyapa screams loud enough that team Angeles can hear her.

This is the "All caps moment":

"GET A REFEREE IN HERE! DARKRAI IS A CHEETER AND FRANCIS THE SNIVY IS INJURED!" Suyapa said

This is news so old and so repetitive, that had it been chewing gum, it would have pulled out your teeth by now.

"Im coming Suyapa!" Kat said

Team Angeles enters the battle field. Kat is horrified at what happened to Francis the Snivy

(Cliffhanger time)

"FRANCIS NO!..." Kat Screamed (Did you know: Kat leads series of cliffhanger times 1 to 0? Normally, I do cliffhanger time with Suyapa)

(Battlefield- Current situation)

Scores:

Darkrai: 9,160

Francis: 6,980

Possession: Francis the Snivy

Better call an exorcist, we have a bad case of sports terms the author clearly doesnít understand.

Francis the Snivy uses Leaf Blade

Francis runs forward toward Darkrai and jumps up. Darkrai see's Francis coming, and counters with Shadow Ball. Francis uses his tail to send the attack back, and attack with Leaf Blade for 700 life point damage.

Because attacks always do rounded up damage, it makes it so much easier to punch into your calculator.

Darkrai: 8,460

Francis: 6,980

Darkrai uses Shadow Ball

Darkrai forms a purple ball with his paws, and launches it toward Francis. Francis uses his tail to send it back to score. Darkrai takes 500 life point damage.

Because the move was so nice, the author abused it twice. How creatively bankrupt can you get?

Darkrai: 7,960

Francis: 6,480 (Curse effect, 700 to 0 point run)

Francis uses Absorb

Francis runs forward and gets ready to bite Darkrai. Darkrai attacks Francis with Shadow Ball, but Francis uses his tail to send the attack back, and bites Darkrai to drain the life out of him. Darkrai takes 400 life point damage from Shadow Ball, and 1,000 LP damage from Absorb. Absorb gives life points to Francis (700)

Again with the tail tennis moves. I think youíre a fan of the wrong sport, author.

Francis: 6,980 (1,400 to 0 point run, takes lead for the moment)

Darkrai: 6,560 (Loses a big lead)

Darkrai uses Yawn

Oh, sorry, I didnít know I had been attacking my laptop screen for the past ten minutes.

Darkrai is trying to make Francis fall asleep, but Francis fights it, and strikes Darkrai with Leaf Blade. Darkrai takes 500 Life point damage

Francis: 6,480 (curse effect, still has lead)

Darkrai: 6,060

Francis uses Magical Leaf

The amount of weed jokes I could have made; all gone up in smoke. Donít worry, Iíll stop.

Francis jumps up in the air and spawns leaves of different colors. He sends the leaves straight to Darkrai. Darkrai takes 400 Life point damage

Francis: 6,480

Darkrai: 5,560

Darkrai is now breathing hard.

I wouldnít doubt that an asthma attack could finish this battle quicker.

Team Angeles is cheering Francis the Snivy on.

Oh, right, those guys are here now. And theyíre doing nothing. So nice of them to show up.

Darkrai uses Shadow Ball

Darkrai forms a purple ball and sends it straight to Francis. Francis dodges the move, but Darkrai does "magic" to attack Francis from behind. Kat calls the attack offside.

"We have an offside on Darkrai. The attack will count as 200 life point damage, instead of 400" Kat announced

Sure, just go right over to Francis as patch back on whatever pieces of him that were shaved off. How stupid do you have to be, to think that simply saying so will reduce the effect of an attack that has already hit?

Francis: 5,880 (Curse effect)

Darkrai: 5,560

Francis uses Leaf Blade

Francis runs forward to strike Darkrai, but Darkrai goes into the Shadows. Darkrai reappears behind Francis. Francis turns around and gets hit by Night Shade. Darkrai's attack is not over as he grabs Francis by his tail, and swings him toward a wall. Darkrai continues to attack Francis, until after 5 minutes, Kat calls the attack offside.

Attached Image

Five minutes is a fucking long time to be dashing someone against a wall. Did she only call offside because the wall was starting to break?

"We have an offside on Darkrai. The attack will count as 5,000 life point damage, instead of 10,000" Kat announced

As the call was made, team Angeles became hot (mad) arguing with Kats call. Team Angeles wanted offside, and a technical on Darkrai.

And Iím sure Francis wants all his teeth back, but we canít all get what we want.

Darkrai: 5,560 (Gains the biggest lead in the game)

Francis: 880

Team Angeles see's Francis the Snivy barley able to stand up after the hits. The team wants Darkrai banned from the battle.

I swear, if this battle ends through Francisí friends whining, AGAIN, I will fucking lose my shit.

(Cliffhanger time series- Suyapa VS Kat)

"FRANCIS NOOO!..." Suyapa yelled (Suyapa ties series at 1 to 1)

(There is still 1 more player to yell- Sorry!)

"FRANCIS NOOO!.." Yuneri the Snivy yelled (Yuneri gets a point for the Cliffhanger series)

Attached Image

Iím watching a ball of madness rolling downhill, and all it does is pick up more bullshit as it goes. When does this cornucopia of idiocy stop?

Blacksterops1025: We have part 3 of the battle on Saturday. We also have chapter 2 of "Francis the Snivy's Abused Life" on Saturday.

As much as Iíd want to stop here, Iíll take another chapter right away. Procrastinating only means prolonging the pain.


Chapter 48: Francis VS Darkrai 1 Part 3 of 3

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to chapter 48 of this story. Here we go, and without further delay..

Team Angeles: Blacksterops1025 does not own anything

Last lines before the bell:

Last lines? Thereís more than two hundred words copied in here! Have some goddamn restraint.

Darkrai uses Shadow Ball

Darkrai forms a purple ball and sends it straight to Francis. Francis dodges the move, but Darkrai does "magic" to attack Francis from behind. Kat calls the attack offside.

Having Darkrai use ďmagicĒ is just an excuse to beat him over the head with illogical, contrived sports rules that have no place in any reality.

"We have an offside on Darkrai. The attack will count as 200 life point damage, instead of 400" Kat announced

Francis: 5,880 (Curse effect)

Darkrai: 5,560

Francis uses Leaf Blade

Francis runs forward to strike Darkrai, but Darkrai goes into the Shadows. Darkrai reappears behind Francis. Francis turns around and gets hit by Night Shade. Darkrai's attack is not over as he grabs Francis by his tail, and swings him toward a wall. Darkrai continues to attack Francis, until after 5 minutes, Kat calls the attack offside.

Thatís three hundred seconds where everyone just stood there and watched. Three hundred seconds, where blood must have been running down the wall, where chipped teeth and far-flung tears must have struck the onlookers foreheads like gentle hail. Three hundred fucking seconds of pain, and the author is relishing every masochistic moment of it Ė every imagined blow, every squelch of flesh, every crunch of bone. Are you starting to get my point?

"We have an offside on Darkrai. The attack will count as 5,000 life point damage, instead of 10,000" Kat announced

As the call was made, team Angeles became hot (mad) arguing with Kats call. Team Angeles wanted offside, and a technical on Darkrai.

Darkrai: 5,560 (Gains the biggest lead in the game)

Francis: 880

Team Angeles see's Francis the Snivy barley able to stand up after the hits. The team wants Darkrai banned from the battle.

Technically, they are invading Darkraiís home right now. I think I know which side the inexistent law would be on.

(Cliffhanger time series- Suyapa VS Kat)

"FRANCIS NOOO!..." Suyapa yelled (Suyapa ties series at 1 to 1)

(There is still 1 more player to yell- Sorry!)

"FRANCIS NOOO!.." Yuneri the Snivy yelled (Yuneri gets a point for the Cliffhanger series)

Heís still standing, shut up already.

(Current Situation)

Scores:

Darkrai: 5,560

Francis: 880

Possession: Francis the Snivy

Francis the Snivy is barely able to stand up after the 5 minute of attacks he endured. Darkrai laughed at his efforts.

"HAHAHAHA, you think you can stand up after those 5 minutes? Give me a break!" Darkrai yelled

The fact that the author wants to rub it in afterwards only makes his complex more obvious.

Francis continues the battle by using Leaf Blade

Francis runs forward and jumps up. He extends his tail like a blade. He strikes Darkrai, but Darkrai grabs Francis the Snivy's tail, and uses Life Drain on Francis. Francis see's the move coming, and jumps in time. Francis counters with Absorb, and drains 500 life points out of Darkrai

Darkrai: 4,560

I think you might be doing your math wrong, or thereís something youíre not telling us, author. But if it will finish this battle quicker, please keep sucking.

Francis: 1,380 (Out of the danger zone)

Darkrai uses Shadow Ball

Darkrai forms a ball with his paws, but Francis runs forward , and knocks the ball out of the play area with his tail. Francis counters with another Absorb attack, and drains 500 more life points out of Darkrai.

Darkrai: 3,560

Francis: 1,380 (No change due to curse effect, 1,000 to 0 point run)

In certain circles, being short of a grand will get you stabbed, author. Maybe you want to double check your math from now on.

Francis uses Magical Leaf

Francis jumps up, and spawns leaves of different colors. He sends the leaves straight to Darkrai. Darkrai gets hit with 1,000 life point damage.

Darkrai: 2,560

Francis: 1,380 (2,000 to 0 point run)

Darkrai uses Life Drain

Darkrai runs toward Francis, and throws a life-draining needle, but Francis dodges the attack, and counters with Absorb, and drains 700 life point damage, and is close to taking the lead.

Darkrai: 1, 160

Francis: 0, 880(Curse effect, 3,400 to 0 point run)

Maybe you should lay off the numbers for a while, author.

Francis can take the lead, and make a big comeback.

Francis uses Leaf Blade

Francis runs forward, and jumps up. He extends his tail like a blade. He strikes Darkrai. Francis deals 700 life point damage, and makes a historic comeback.

Which was only made possible because a few words from Kat somehow prevented Francisí skull from being caved in, after itís prolonged on-and-off relationship with the wall.

Francis: 880 (4,100 to 0 point run to make a big comeback)

Darkrai: 460 (Loses a big lead for the second time)

Darkrai uses Shadow Ball

Darkrai forms a ball with his paws, but Francis runs toward Darkrai, and knocks the ball out of the play area. Francis counters with Absorb, and drains 100 life point damage.

Francis: 380 (Curse effect, 4,300 to 0 point run)

Darkrai: 260

Whatever you do later in life, author, donít go into accounting. Just saying.

Darkrai gets mad. Darkrai goes after Francis the Snivy. He grabs Francis by his legs, and whirls him toward a wall. Darkrai attacks Francis with Shadow ball. Darkrai's attack hits, but he continues to attack Francis with Shadow Ball, until Kat called it offsides.

"We have an offside on Darkrai. The attack is no longer counted" Kat announced

Pray tell, does her words also fix the wall and clean up the blood?

Francis is barley able to stand after the attack. He tries to stay conscious, but Darkrai uses Shadow Ball to make Francis faint. Kat calls Darkrai offside.

"We have an offside on Darkrai. Darkrai gets a yellow card for his series of attacks. As far as this result is concerned, Francis the Snivy is still in the game with 380 life points!" Kat announced

Attached Image

Oh sure, he can totally fight. I mean, the guy is only out cold, probably slowly dying from internal injuries, comatose, half his face is likely missing, oh and did I mention heís fucking unconscious?!

(Cliffhanger Series time- Kat VS Suyapa)

"FRANCIS NOOO!..." Kat yelled out (Kat leads Cliffhanger series 2 to 1)

How genuine can this be, when she just insisted that the sleeping sack of sores is staying in the fight?

Blacksterops1025: The next chapter for this story is tomorrow, and the 2nd chapter of "Francis the Snivy's Abused Life" is latter tonight"

Late Breaking News: Chelsea has just won the UEFA Champions league!

A celebration that is now five years overdue. Oh how happy I am, that you put it in you shitty, incompetent, and pitiful piece of masochistic fluff fiction.

------------------------

This story is a pain. The convoluted madness that guided the authorís writing is ripe for psychological study, and the continued masochistic reveling of the protagonistís pain is both concerning and disgusting. And we still have quite a way to go.


--------------------
"So... preparing to storm into the room, you jostle your badger, kick down the door, and throw it at the thug standing inside." - Moment from my D&D campaign.

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StabbyKobold


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post Feb 6 2017, 05:19 AM
Here comes some more of this authorís self-aimed torture porn. Last times, Francis had Darkrai on the ropes while simultaneously dangling from them himself. Weíre building towards yet another painfully boring and contrived finish, so letís get it over with. Enjoy.

------------------------

Chapter 49: Francis Wins? New Darkrai?

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to a surprise Chapter 49 of "Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: The Mystery of Francis".

Yes, after 48 comes 49, what a surprise.

In this chapter, Kat gives Francis the Snivy life to continue in the battle with Darkrai.

Whoever heard of an impartial referee, am I right?

Francis the Snivy defeats Darkrai, butÖ..

Team Angeles: Blacksterops1025 does not own anything!

Last lines before the bell:

Francis uses Leaf Blade

Francis runs forward, and jumps up. He extends his tail like a blade. He strikes Darkrai.

Francis deals 700 life point damage, and makes a historic comeback.

The only thing historic about it is that itís in the past. Stop padding every chapter with this shit.

Francis: 880 (4,100 to 0 point run to make a big comeback)

Darkrai: 460 (Loses a big lead for the second time)

Darkrai uses Shadow Ball

Darkrai forms a ball with his paws, but Francis runs toward Darkrai, and knocks the ball out of the play area.

It disappeared into the aether, along with the rest of Francisí team.

Francis counters with Absorb, and drains 100 life point damage.

Francis: 380 (Curse effect, 4,300 to 0 point run)

Darkrai: 260

Darkrai gets mad. Darkrai goes after Francis the Snivy.

Because he had so many options to choose from, you see.

He grabs Francis by his legs, and whirls him toward a wall. Darkrai attacks Francis with Shadow ball. Darkrai's attack hits, but he continues to attack Francis with Shadow Ball, until Kat called it offside.

"We have an offside on Darkrai. The attack is no longer counted" Kat announced

In how many ways have this author used ďoffsideĒ as a term for whatever the fuck he wants to penalize?

Francis is barley able to stand after the attack. He tries to stay conscious, but Darkrai uses Shadow Ball to make Francis faint. Kat calls Darkrai offside.

"We have an offside on Darkrai. Darkrai gets a yellow card for his series of attacks. As far as this result is concerned, Francis the Snivy is still in the game with 380 life points!" Kat announced

(Cliffhanger Series time- Kat VS Suyapa)

"FRANCIS NOOO!..." Kat yelled out (Kat leads Cliffhanger series 2 to 1)

Attached Image

(Current Situation)

Team Angeles has just witnessed an attack on Francis the Snivy by Darkrai. The team was happy that Kat called the attack by Darkrai offside, and gave Darkrai an technical foul. Kat gives 380 life points to Francis the Snivy to let him battle Darkrai.

"Arceus, help me lend some of my life points to a friend of mine in need" Kat chanted

A green light shines on Francis the Snivy, and fills Francis the Snivy with power. He gains 380 life points.

Huh, I guess Kat is a cleric of Arceus. Who would have thought? What the fuck am I reading?

Darkrai was upset.

"What?" Darkrai yelled

"That's right Darkrai. Da evil never wins" Francis the Buizel said

Because good guys exploit technicalities of rules, which bad guys donít even follow.

"You want to faint too, Buizel?" Darkrai asked Francis the Buizel in a evil way

"How bout you faint first" Francis the Buizel said

Darkrai goes into the Shadows. Francis the Buizel is scared about what is about to happen.

Typical. The moment that Francis is both unconscious and still counted as an active participant in battle, of course the villain will find someone else to torment.

Darkrai appears behind Francis the Buizel, and tries to attack him, but Francis the Buizel's girl stops the attack by taking it.

"YUNERI!" Team Angeles yelled

"Who is this "Yuneri" huh?" Darkrai asks in an evil way

"He is my special romantic friend" Francis the Buizel said

Gender confusion aside, I preferred it when you used the term Ďloverí, author. ĎSpecial romantic friendí is how a single father would describe the prostitute he sees once a week to his kids.

"How about I do this to your special friend" Darkrai said as he fired a Shadow Ball attack toward the unconscious Yuneri the Snivy. Francis the Snivy uses his tail to send the attack back. He has done the impossible.

Francis: 380 (Huge run to win the battle)

Darkrai: 0

Oh boy, I wonder how long this is going to last. Iíll give it three sentences, tops.

"Darkrai is unable to battle. Francis the Snivy wins. Francis the Snivy makes history after coming back from 5,000 points down to win" Kat announced

Darkrai then floated into the air while saying words that changes this story.

"You think you have won? Say hello to my twin brother, and say goodbye to your memories" Darkrai said as he disappeared

I knew it. We must always Ė and I do mean always Ė have conflict. But what the hell is this twin brother bullshit Darkrai is pulling?

"I bet Darkrai's twin is harder" Suyapa said

"Did you hear the part about erasing Francis the Snivy's memories?" Kat asked the team

"Oh boy! This is going to be hard!" Team Angeles yelled

Somehow not the words of the author, when he decided to stretch the plot out for another fifteen chapters beyond this.

The team then notices a shadow appearing on the floor. The shadow appears to be a 8 pawed Darkrai. The team also noticed a capsule with a Uxie (not Francis the Uxie) inside. The team then see's one pokemon coming from behind the Darkrai. The pokemon used Water Gun on Darkrai. The attack hits Darkrai. The pokemon then joins Orion the Arcanine.

Attached Image

The author is getting creative, and itís scaring me. Because that means all bets are off.

"What's up Orion?" The pokemon asked

"Mizu, it's been a long time since I have seen you" Orion said

"Me too" Mizu said

Iím tempted to say the author outright forgot that Mizu existed. It usually doesnít take him long to bring back characters from his previous stories.

The Darkrai then yanks Francis the Snivy away from the team. The Darkrai then attacks Francis the Snivy with an unknown move. A single hit of the attack made Francis the Snivy faint on the spot.

If I had a penny for every time this has happened, Iíd put them in a sock and beat the authorís head in with it. My idiom might have slipped a bit, but you get my point.

(Cliffhanger Series time- Suyapa VS Kat)

"FRANCIS NOOO!.. Kat yelled (Kat leads series 3-1)

Blacksterops1025: The battle continues tomorrow!

No, it continues now. Hereís another chapter for you all.


Chapter 50: Francis the Snivy in Trouble!

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to chapter 50 of the story. Here we go, and without further delayÖ

Team Angeles: Blacksterops1025 does not own anything!

Last lines before the bell:

In other words, the delay the author said the story was without.

"Darkrai is unable to battle. Francis the Snivy wins. Francis the Snivy makes history after coming back from 5,000 points down to win" Kat announced

Darkrai then floated into the air while saying words that changes this story.

I guess if Francis can be unconscious and still be in the battle, so can Darkrai.

"You think you have won? Say hello to my twin brother, and say goodbye to your memories" Darkrai said as he disappeared

"I bet Darkrai's twin is harder" Suyapa said

"Did you hear the part about erasing Francis the Snivy's memories?" Kat asked the team

Because we should still be fearful of this happening, somehow, for some reason, even when he has amnesia.

"Oh boy! This is going to be hard!" Team Angeles yelled

The team then notices a shadow appearing on the floor. The shadow appears to be a 8 pawed Darkrai. The team also noticed a capsule with a Uxie (not Francis the Uxie) inside.

Iím not going to rule out the possibility that itís still named Francis, though.

The team then see's one pokemon coming from behind the Darkrai. The pokemon used Water Gun on Darkrai. The attack hits Darkrai. The pokemon then joins Orion the Arcanine.

"What's up Orion?" The pokemon asked

"Mizu, it's been a long time since I have seen you" Orion said

"Me too" Mizu said

ďIíve been searching for a mirror for ages.Ē

The Darkrai then yanks Francis the Snivy away from the team. The Darkrai then attacks Francis the Snivy with an unknown move. A single hit of the attack made Francis the Snivy faint on the spot.

(Cliffhanger Series time- Suyapa VS Kat)

"FRANCIS NOOO!.. Kat yelled (Kat leads series 3-1)

Of all the things to be competitive about. What does the author even think this accomplishes?

(Current situation)

Team Angeles has just witnessed Darktwo attacking Francis the Snivy with an unknown move.

Darkraiís twin brother is named Darktwo? And here I was afraid youíd try to be original, author.

The move made Francis the Snivy faint on the spot. The team wants to fight Darktwo 11 on 1. Kat allows the match, and revives Francis the Snivy. Kat also adds new rules.

"I have some new rules to announce. We now have power plays, which are 1 minute advantages for the team or player that is losing" Kat said

Way to show your confidence in your team, Kat.

Team Angeles agrees to the rules that Kat mentioned. Darktwo is laughing at Kat.

"HAHHAHA! Kat, so you think you can be the referee? Say hello to my little friend" Darktwo said as a Darkrai like figure appeared behind Kat. The figure grabs Kat and attacks her with an unknown move to make her faint .

For all we know, itís a rag soaked in chloroform; just give the move a fucking name.

"KAT NOOOO!" Team Angeles yelled

Team Angeles is eager to defeat Darktwo.

(ITS LINE UP TIME) ALL PLAYERS EXECPT FOR DARKTWO STARTS WITH 40,000 life points

Thatís four times what the last battle started with, what the fuck is going on here?!

Team Angeles

Starting 5

Francis the Snivy

Orion the Arcanine

Francis the Buizel

Francis the Axew

Midnight the Purloin

Author, I may not care a whole lot for your stories, but I do pay attention when it comes to the names in them. Who the fuck is Midnight!?

Subs

Mizu the Buizel

Francis the Serperior

Kavi the Servine

Tory the Ninetales

Rouge the Bat

Francis the Azelf

(Battle Begins)

Life Point totals (Starting 5)

Francis the Snivy: 40,000

Orion the Arcanine: 40,000

Francis the Buizel: 40,000

Francis the Axew: 40,000

Midnight the Purloin: 40,000

Opponent ( Darktwo): 500,000

Itís like the author just enrolled in a new math class, and heís so excited to show off how many zeroes you can fit behind a single digit.

Possession: Team Angeles (Francis the Snivy)

Francis the Snivy uses Leaf Blade

Francis the Snivy runs forward. He jumps up and extends his tail like a blade. He strikes Darktwo for 500 life point damage.

Darktwo: 499,500

Another damage sponge fight. How long can the author drag this one out?

Orion uses Flamethrower

Orion opens his mouth and aims for Darktwo. Orion misses the attack. Darktwo counters with Shadow Ball on Orion, but Francis the Snivy uses his tail to send the attack back. Darktwo takes 500 more life point damage.

Darktwo: 499,000

Attached Image

These dingbats had better start doing some damage, because I donít want to fucking die waiting for Darktwo to take one thousand paper-cut sized attacks.

Team Angeles( Francis the Snivy): 40,000 (1save, 1,000 point run start)

Francis the Axew uses Dragon Rage

Francis the Axew opens his mouth and spawns a blue flame. He shoots it at Darktwo. Darktwo takes 2,000 life point damage.

Darktwo: 497,000

Better. Now I might be out of here in time for my pension to kick in.

Team Angeles (Francis the Axew): 40,000 (Scoring Leader at 2,000 points of delt damage)

Midnight uses Shadow Ball

Midnight forms a ball with his paws, and aims for Darktwo. Darktwo takes the hit, and 3,000 life point damage

Darktwo: 494,000

Team Angeles (Midnight): 40,000( New scoring leader at 3,000 points, previous leader (Francis the Axew) at 2,000 points))

Numbers, numbers, numbers! Thatís what the cool kids are into now, right?!

Darktwo uses Life Drain

Darktwo runs toward Francis the Snivy. Francis the Snivy dodges the move, and counters with Absorb and deals 1,400 life point damage.

Darktwo: 492,600

Team Angeles (Francis the Snivy):40,000(1 counter, and 1 save)

So, all in all, the moment Darktwo doesnít take out people using shadow clones, he sucks. What a villain.

Scores after 1st possession

1st: Midnight: 3,000 points

2nd: Francis the Snivy: 2,400

3rd: Francis the Axew: 2,000

4th: Orion/ Francis the Buizel: 500

Team Angeles Run: 8,400 to 0 point run


Darktwo is not happy. He sends an unknown attack toward Francis the Snivy. The unknown attack weakens Francis the Snivy in a big way.

Itís called the flu.

Francis the Snivy: 40,000 to 1 life point

Francis the Snivy is feeling pain in his arm, and his right leg. He can barley stand up. Darktwo laughs at Francis the Snivy.

"HAHHAHAHAH! I can see that you can't stand up. I stole your life points with my move called Darkrai Lench Seed (A move I made up)" Darktwo said in a evil way

My god, even when you try, author, you canít make up anything original, can you?

Kat calls the move offside, but Darktwo makes Kat faint, making sure she can't win the cliffhanger time series.

Because thatís what weíre all really invested in, right?

(Cliffhanger Time)

"FRANCIS NOOO!..." Suyapa yelled (Kat still leads series 3 to 2)

Blacksterops1025: Next week: The end of part 2 of 5.

Five parts? Of this one battle?! Iím going to need a drink.

------------------------

They say thereís more than one way to skin a cat. Thereís also more than one way to write a fanfic. By now, itís pretty clear that this author is unaware of either fact, and that heíd replace the cat with a Snivy in a heartbeat. Weíre slowly moving closer to the end of this thing, but I might need a pallet cleanser soon, if the next three chapters are going to be nothing but what weíve just seen.


--------------------
"So... preparing to storm into the room, you jostle your badger, kick down the door, and throw it at the thug standing inside." - Moment from my D&D campaign.

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Post #31
King Dairy


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post Feb 6 2017, 07:43 PM
I can only assume this world operates by FFTA logic, given the power that referees apparently have.
Where'd the author learn to write like this? The way he constantly spoils the next sentence and tries to end every chapter on a meaningless cliffhanger is just about as baffling as everything else about this fic.
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Post #32
StabbyKobold


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post Feb 12 2017, 11:15 AM
You're right, KingDairy, it does remind a bit of FFTA now that you mention it. However, I doubt the author has ever played the game, or it didn't have nearly enough sports in it to warrant any noticeable interest. That aside, we continue now with "Hit Point Deduction - The Fanfic", where the author thinks that lengthening a battle beyond two chapters was an appropriate decision. Enjoy.

------------------------

Chapter 51: Francis the Snivy Faints! New Attack!

FrancisTheUnconsciousSnivy101: Welcome to chapter 51 on day 1 of my new pen name!

The first of many. I wonder why the numbers were necessary at the end. Donít tell me someone already took that moniker before he did.

In this chapter, the battle with Team Angeles and Darktwo continues, and just announced, Francis the Snivy will have no memories of Francis the Buizel at the end of this battle (chapter 52 on Sunday).

Attached Image

I have never in my life seen an author who squanders literary potential as much as this one; and it happens every time itís there to waste!

We also have the start of the E3 season for those of us who play videogames. I will give you my top 5 for my best games this year.

Iím not entirely convinced you play more than five, and thatís including the obligatory FIFA and Resident Evil games you keep mentioning.

Here we go, and without further delayÖ.

Team Angeles: FrancisTheUnconsciousSnivy101 does not own anything.

Alerts in the Chapter:

Francis the Snivy Faints Alert- Level 5- Francis the Snivy fainting chance at 100%

Chance of suspense Ė Fuck all! Author, why do you even think people read a story in the first place? Why do you even want to write one?

Last lines before the bell:

Darktwo uses Life Drain

Darktwo runs toward Francis the Snivy. Francis the Snivy dodges the move, and counters with Absorb and deals 1,400 life point damage.

From these two drain moves, we can conclude that Francisí sucking is superior.

Darktwo: 492,600

Team Angeles (Francis the Snivy):40,000(1 counter, and 1 save)

Scores after 1stpossession

1st: Midnight: 3,000 points

2nd: Francis the Snivy: 2,400

3rd: Francis the Axew: 2,000

4th: Orion/ Francis the Buizel: 500

Team Angeles Run: 8,400 to 0 point run


The only place this is running is into the ground.

Darktwo is not happy. He sends an unknown attack toward Francis the Snivy. The unknown attack weakens Francis the Snivy in a big way.

Francis the Snivy: 40,000 to 1 life point

Francis the Snivy is feeling pain in his arm, and his right leg. He can barely stand up.

Hold up! What is this? It didnít say Ďbarelyí in the last chapter. It said Ďbarleyí.

Did the author start using a spellchecker all of a sudden? Improvement, even as minute as this, is incredible for this author.


Darktwo laughs at Francis the Snivy.

"HAHHAHAHAHA! I can see that you can't stand up. I stole your life points with my move called Darkrai Lench Seed (A move I made up)" Darktwo said in a evil way

As if Darktwo saying it nicely would somehow confuse us towards the characterís motivation.

Kat calls the move offside, but Darktwo makes Kat faint, making sure she can't win the cliffhanger time series.

(Cliffhanger Time)

"FRANCIS NOOO!..." Suyapa yelled (Kat still leads series 3 to 2)

(Current Situation)

Updated Team Angeles Scores

*Francis the Snivy: 1

Francis the Snivy attacked with Darkrai Lench Seed

Oh my, gee, and here I thought Francisí ridiculous drop in health was due to all the other attacks that failed to hit him Ė and not this contrived, incompetently performed asspull, that reeks not only of shit but also of imagination so starved and thin, that it would lose a shadow-casting competition against half of a fucking French fry! Fucking hell I hate this author!

Orion the Arcanine: 40,000

Francis the Buizel: 40,000

Francis the Axew: 40,000

Midnight the Purloin: 40,000

There has never even been a Purloin in these stories before; this characterís sudden appearance is a damn mystery.

Opponent ( Darktwo): 500,000

Updated Team Angeles Scorers:


1st: Midnight: 3,000 points

2nd: Francis the Snivy: 2,400

3rd: Francis the Axew: 2,000

4th: Orion/ Francis the Buizel: 500

Darktwo Run: 39,999 to 0 point run

(Battle Field)

Team Angeles has just witnessed a potentially painful attack on Francis the Snivy.

Potentially painful? Thatís like saying fire might possibly be hot.

Francis the Snivy has an injured left arm, and right leg from the attack. The team also notices that Kat (the referee) is unconscious, and the team decides to put Yuneri the Snivy as a referee. Yuneri agrees to the job, and calls the last attack by Darktwo offside.

And yet Darktwo does not get penalized for attacking the former referee. Stellar rules right there.

"The last attack used by Darktwo is ruled offside, however, because the attack is a life draining move, the attack counts" Yuneri announces as Darktwo laughed at Francis the Snivy.

What, is Yuneri not a member of the Arceus faith? Is she not high enough level to perform the spell that Kat did? This is what happens when you donít have a back-up healer on the team.

"HAHAHAHA! You are down to your last life point boy!" Darktwo yelled as he launched his next attack

(Battle continues)

Team Angeles- Subs Available

What? Why?! Why are you putting this in now, weíre in the middle of a fucking fight scene!

Mizu the Buizel

Francis the Serperior

Kavi the Servine

Tory the Ninetales

Rouge the Bat

Francis the Azelf

Reminder: Darktwo has dark moves. All his "dark" moves have the word dark before the move.

Well, then I dark hope that Darktwo can dark restrain his use of dark moves, otherwise dark reading this story might dark annoy the dark hell out of me.

His attacks have a bunch of consequences, which include the following:

Poison

Attack Drop by 20

Attack drop by 60

Burned

Faint in 1 turn

Double Damage

..And more to come

In other words, whatever overpowered bullshit the author wants to use to artificially increase the tension, which he still thinks exist in this story. This is looking more and more like a Final Fantasy battle against a Malboro.

Darktwo uses Dark Shadow Ball on Francis the Snivy

Darktwo forms a ball with his paws, but the color of the ball is black, instead of purple. He launches the attack toward Francis the Snivy. Francis the Snivy uses his tail to send the attack back, and deals 3,000 life point damage to Darktwo.

Darktwo: 497,000

Could they just drop a nuke so that Darktwo can get close to half health?

Team Angeles (Francis the Snivy, 1LP)- 2 Counters, current scoring leader

Possession: Team Angeles (Francis the Snivy)

Francis the Snivy uses Leaf Blade

Francis the Snivy runs forward, and jumps up. He extends his tail like a blade, and strikes Darktwo. He deals 3,000 life point damage, which increases the point run for team Angeles

Darktwo: 494,000 LP

I mean, the sun exploding would at least put him on even keel with Francis; Iím just saying.

Team Angeles (Francis the Snivy, 1LP)- 6,000 points combined in this possession

Orion uses Agility

Orion's body starts to glow blue to signal that his speed has gone up by 0.5 percent

Orion's speed: 40 + 20= 60

If you want to be kind to your math teacher, author, buy them a red marker to replace the one theyíre going to use up.

Francis the Buizel uses Water Gun

Francis the Buizel runs forward and opens his mouth to shoot out a steam of water toward Darktwo. He hits Darktwo, and deals 3,000 LP damage

Darktwo: 491,000

Team Angeles (Francis the Buizel, 40,000 LP)- moves up in position

Are any of the other members of Team Angeles even going to be attacked? Iím getting tired of all these zeroes. The numbers too.

Francis the Axew uses Dragon Rage

Francis the Axew spawns a blue flame from his mouth, and he aims the flame at Darktwo. He strikes Darktwo with 6,000 LP damage

Darktwo: 486,000 LP

Team Angeles (Francis the Axew, 40,000 LP)- New Record for damage delt in a single possession (6,000), becomes scoring leader

Attached Image

Can anyone tell me the point of this? How even the most sports-addled, pea-brained, banner-waving dipshit could give two shits about these worthless statistics and positions?! Because the sub-human entity, that blasphemous crypto-creature of an author, who penned this apparently does!

Midnight uses Shadow Claw

Midnight runs forward and gets his paws up in the air. His paws spawns claws on them. He strikes Darktwo with 5,000 LP damage

Darktwo: 481,000 LP

Team Angeles (Midnight, 40,000 LP)- 1st 5,000 or more damage given

Scoring Leaders (After second possession)

1st: Francis the Snivy: 8,400

2nd/3rd: Francis the Axew and Midnight: 8,000

4th: Francis the Buizel: 3,500

5th: Orion: 500

Team Angeles Run: 15,000 to 0 point run

Possession: Darktwo (4 times)

A little late for fair play rules to kick in, but Iíll take it.

Darktwo uses Dark Shadow Ball on Francis the Snivy

Darktwo forms a dark colored ball from his paws, and throws it to Francis the Snivy. Francis the Snivy uses his tail to send the attack back, and deals 4,000 LP damage

Darktwo: 477,000 LP

Team Angeles (Francis the Snivy, 1 LP)- New Score of 12,400, 3 counters

Darktwo uses Dark Lench Seed on Francis the Snivy

Darktwo releases a seed that tries to attract to Francis the Snivy, but Francis jumps up to avoid the attack. As a reward for dodging the move, Francis the Snivy gets 499 LP back

Attached Image

How incomprehensibly inept, how brainlessly stupid, how self-absorbedly infantile must you be in order to write this kind of tripe, and not have the very pixels themselves reach out from the screen and slap the fucking face off your skull?! This is the kind of shit that makes nothing, not a solitary word, letter, nor goddamn period of this literary facsimile of a sinking Titanic carry any weight, because it all can be undone as soon as the author feels like it. Even I barely believe it, when I say this author keeps finding new ways to insult me every chapter, yet at every turn I am proven right. Fuck this fucking fuckery!

Team Angeles (Francis the Snivy, 500LP)- Awarded 499 LP as a reward

Darktwo attacks Francis the Snivy with an unknown move

Darktwo creates a copy of himself. He and his copy surround Francis the Snivy, preventing Francis the Snivy from escaping what is about to happen to him. The two Darktwo's enter Francis the Snivy's body, and attacks him from inside. The two Darktwo does also suck the blood and life out of him. The two Darktwo's exits Francis the Snivy's body, and become one. Francis the Snivy faints on impact. Yuneri calls the move offside.

At this point, what isnít offside? Outright assault? Thatís offside. Rape and murder? Offside! The Holocaust, the Hiroshima bombing, and the September 11 attacks? OFFSIDE!!!

"We have an offside, and a technical level 3 foul (read my profile for more information on the new battle rules) on Darkrai. As a result of a technical 3 foul, Darkrai has also picked up 1 flagrant. One more flagrant means a suspension!" Kat yelled

Would that I could glimpse into the convoluted logic of the author, but there are no longer any rules descriptions on his profile page. Not that it could have helped this story any.

Kat has just revived in time to see Francis the Snivy unconscious on the floor, meaning that she has the chance to yellÖ.

"FRANCIS NOOONNN!" (No in French- hint: to spell no in French, add an extra N at the end)

Iím glad Iím not a teacher, because this is the stuff that would have made me cry myself to sleep at night.

Kat yelled (Kat wins series 4 to 2, and she is the captain of the Team Angeles basketball team in part 3).

FrancisTheUnconsciousSnivy101: Here are my top 5 games this year (to play)

1st: Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon City

2nd: NBA 2K12

3rd: Resident Evil 5

4th: Mortal Kombat

5th: Little Big Planet 2

No FIFA game? Huh, color me surprised. Still a sports game on here though, and since weíre apparently getting basketball in a coming chapter, I guess we can see why the authorís sports preferences changes between stories.

Darktwo gains 1,000 LP in the beginning of Sunday's chapter.

Announcement: "Francis the Snivy's Abused Life is delayed until Monday as part of a special memorial day story update!

You want to tie one of your fanfics to a holiday dedicated to commemorating soldiers, who lost their lives in war? I donít think thereís any better way to admit a complete lack of sensibility and self-awareness.

------------------------

Thatís one more chapter down. I would have liked to do another chapter right away, but this one felt, I donít know, more straining than usual. Iíll see about finding a distraction soon, but Iíd like to at least see this pointless battle through before switching mocks.


--------------------
"So... preparing to storm into the room, you jostle your badger, kick down the door, and throw it at the thug standing inside." - Moment from my D&D campaign.

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Post #33
StabbyKobold


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post Feb 18 2017, 06:25 AM
The author is serving up another portion of lunacy, and we have to eat it all up. Iíll sprinkle it with some funny for seasoning, but the crazy is still quite spicy. Enjoy.

------------------------

Chapter 52: Francis the Snivy's Memories Erased?

FrancisTheUnconsciousSnivy101: Welcome to chapter 52 of this story. In this chapter, Francis the Snivy losses his memories of Francis the Buizel (Hint: After Francis the Snivy losses his memories of Francis the Buizel, Darktwo makes Gengar regenerate).

As much as Iím dying for the story to pick back up, the return of the Pokť-murderer can only mean the author is about to hit another self-insert mutilation streak.

As far as for those who play videogames, I have my top 10 announcements I want to hear at E3 (The first 5 will be in this chapter. The next 5 will be in the next chapter, which is coming up later this afternoon.

This afternoon? Do you think people are just glued to their screens, feverishly hitting the update button, waiting and yearning for every solitary chapter like teenage girls pining for return texts from their high school crushes? These pages upon pages of recycled masochistic boredom, which you churn out like a blind novelist with diarrhea mistaking his typewriter for a toilet? Even if you donít have a life outside of your fanfics, author, you have to at least realize that other people do!

Here we go, and without further delayÖ

Team Angeles: FrancisTheUnconsciousSnivy101 does not own anything.

Last Lines before the bell:

Team Angeles Run: 15,000 to 0 point run

Possession: Darktwo (4 times)

Darktwo uses Dark Shadow Ball on Francis the Snivy

Darktwo forms a dark colored ball from his paws, and throws it to Francis the Snivy. Francis the Snivy uses his tail to send the attack back, and deals 4,000 LP damage

Come on now, even Ganondorf had the good sense to hit the ball back a couple of times before taking the hit.

Darktwo: 477,000 LP

Team Angeles (Francis the Snivy, 1 LP)- New Score of 12,400, 3 counters

Darktwo uses Dark Lench Seed on Francis the Snivy

Darktwo releases a seed that tries to attract to Francis the Snivy, but Francis jumps up to avoid the attack. As a reward for dodging the move, Francis the Snivy gets 499 LP back

How?! Just fucking how?!

Team Angeles (Francis the Snivy, 500LP)- Awarded 499 LP as a reward

Darktwo attacks Francis the Snivy with an unknown move

Darktwo creates a copy of himself. He and his copy surround Francis the Snivy, preventing Francis the Snivy from escaping what is about to happen to him. The two Darktwo's enter Francis the Snivy's body, and attacks him from inside. The two Darktwo does also suck the blood and life out of him. The two Darktwo's exits Francis the Snivy's body, and become one. Francis the Snivy faints on impact. Yuneri calls the move offside.

Yuneri should also call the coroner, because by that description Francis should be dead. Then again, a gun shot to the brain didnít do it, and that usually kills things that are already dead.

"We have an offside, and a technical level 3 foul (read my profile for more information on the new battle rules) on Darkrai. As a result of a technical 3 foul, Darkrai has also picked up 1 flagrant. One more flagrant means a suspension!" Kat yelled

Kat has just revived in time to see Francis the Snivy unconscious on the floor, meaning that she has the chance to yellÖ.

And the author has the chance to write in all caps.

"FRANCIS NOOONNN!" Kat yelled (Kat wins series 4 to 2, and she is the captain of the Team Angeles basketball team in part 3).

(Current Situation)

Team Angeles has just witnessed an unknown attack by Darktwo. The team did not like the attack as Darktwo drained the blood and life out of Francis the Snivy. The team tells Yuneri that they are going to do a substitution.

"We need to do a sub Yuneri" Midnight said

And now it even has a speaking role; did the author just slip this character in from a side story or something?

"Sub granted, time out, Team Angeles. That is the team's first, and Francis the Snivy is unconscious and is unable to battle. Let's reset the scoreboard" Yuneri said

(Line Up- Team Angeles)

Orion the Arcanine: 40,000

Francis the Buizel: 40,000

Francis the Axew: 40,000

Midnight the Purloin: 40,000

Rouge the Bat; 40,000 (Sub in for Francis the Snivy)

This whole substitution announcement thing might be relevant, if I could see the possible strategy of picking the players being swapped. But the story never approaches anything like that, and Pokťmon battles are all about swapping combatants to exploit the opponentsí weaknesses!

Subs Available

Mizu the Buizel

Francis the Serperior

Kavi the Servine

Tory the Ninetales

Francis the Azelf

Players that fainted in past possessions/ Score

Fuck your goddamn lists, do you think weíve forgotten already?!

Francis the Snivy/ 12,400 points

(Battle Continues)

Possession: Darktwo (2 times remaining)

Darktwo uses Shadow Ball on Orion

Darktwo forms a purple ball from his paws. He aims for Orion, but Orion's speed allows him to dodge the attack and counter with a Flamethrower/ Fire Fang Combo. Orion shoots out a flame of fire while running toward Darktwo. Darktwo gets hit by the fire. Orion bites Darktwo and deals a combined total of 10,000 LP damage.

Darktwo: 467,000 LP

Only forty-seven more paragraphs like that, probably more, I guess. Kill me.

Team Angeles (Orion, 40,000 LP)- First player to hit 10,000 LP damage given in a single possession, new scoring leader

Darktwo flinched because of Orion's Fire Fang attack.

Possession: Team Angeles (Orion)

Orion uses Extreme Speed

Orion's body glows blue as his speed doubles from 60 to 120

Shouldnít there be rules against performance enhancing moves? I mean, since the author is so much into sports and all.

Francis the Buizel uses Water Gun

Francis the Buizel shoots out a water stream, and hits Darktwo. Francis the Buizel deals 5,000 LP damage

Darktwo: 462,000 LP

Francis the Axew uses Dragon Rage

Francis the Axew spawns a blue flame from his mouth. He shoots it toward Darktwo, but Darktwo runs toward Francis the Axew. Darktwo jumps to avoid the attack, and counters with Shadow Ball. The attack hits Francis the Axew from behind. Darktwo deals only 200 LP damage because of offside.

"We have an offside by Darktwo. The attack counts as 200LP damage, instead of 400 LP damage" Yuneri announced

Attached Image

Is it too much to ask that you keep your bullshit consistent, author? When Francis was hit with an offside move, there was no damage reduction. Orion takes a blow, Darkraiís move is suddenly demoted to dinky damage. Could you maybe stop self-flagellating for a minute and start passing the whip around?

Francis the Axew: 39,800 LP

Darktwo: 462,000 LP- First attack landed

Midnight uses Bite

Midnight runs forward toward Darktwo. He jumps up, and bites Darktwo. He deals 5,000 LP damage

Darktwo: 457,000 LP

Francis the Snivy has revived and is ready at the score table

"Francis the Snivy is standing by the score table. Call a time out if you want him in" Yuneri announced

ďWe only just managed to get both life and blood back in him, why not have him lose it all again?Ē

"We would like a 20 second timeout" Rouge the Bat said

"Time out granted" Yuneri announced

(Time Out station)

Team Angeles is figuring out who should come in, and who is going to take a break.

We will be back to "Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: The Mystery of Francis" right after this break.

And Iíll go get an axe and re-enact the Shining right after I snap.

Well everyone, its that time of the year where gamers of all ages travel to downtown LA to see what games will be revealed at E3. Gamers like me want to predict some announcements from E3. Here is the first 5 of the announcements I want to read/hear about.

10th: Halo 4 movie

9th: New pokemon games

8th: New consoles

7th: Playstation 4

6th: New Technology to play games

5th: Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Game?

What is the rest of the countdown? Find out when chapter 53 arrives tonight.

Afternoon, tonight, whatever time the author picks and never bothers to go back and correct when heís gone past his own deadline.

And now, we return to "Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: The Mystery of Francis". Enjoy the chapter

(Before the Break)

Darktwo: 457,000 LP

Francis the Snivy has revived and is ready at the score table

No.

"Francis the Snivy is standing by the score table. Call a time out if you want him in" Yuneri announced

"We would like a 20 second timeout" Rouge the Bat said

NO!

"Time out granted" Yuneri announced

(Time Out station)

Team Angeles is figuring out who should come in, and who is going to take a break.

Attached Image

This goddamn madman actually copied seven lines from before he interrupted himself, and put them in the same fucking chapter. New idiocy every chapter; it never ceases to amaze me.

"Do you guys want me in?" Francis the Snivy asked

"Yes" Francis the Axew said

"How about Kavi?" asked Francis the Buizel

"Yes!" Kavi yelled

"Kavi" Francis the Snivy said

"Yes?" Kavi answered

ďYouíre off the team, thereís only room for one martyr here.Ē

"I have a move that is powerful that does major damage" Francis the Snivy said

"Cool" Kavi said

"There is a bad side to that, my life points goes down to 1" Francis the Snivy said

"I see, but if it does major damage, then it is worth a shot" Kavi said

And if I had a rifle, Iíd gladly take it.

"Let's do it" Francis the Snivy said

Midnight and Rouge the Bat exit the battle, while Kavi and Francis the Snivy enters the battle

(Line up updated)

Orion

Francis the Snivy

Kavi the Servine

Francis the Axew

Francis the Buizel

Possession: Team Angeles (Francis the Snivy)

Francis the Snivy and Kavi the Servine uses Ultimate Leaf Blade

Francis and Kavi run forward toward Darktwo. They jump, and combine their blades o increase the damage.

Excuse me while I go and Ultimate flip off my screen. Iím going to need both hands for this.

They deal 450,000 LP damage to Darktwo, however, Francis the Snivy felt drained of energy after using the move, so drained, that he almost fainted.

Darktwo: 7,000 LP

Team Angeles (Francis the Snivy/Kavi the Servine)- First ultimate combo

Team Angeles (Francis the Snivy, 1LP) - Major recoil of 39,999LP damage, first attack over 400,000

Darktwo laughs at Francis the Snivy

Yeah, he does that a lot, doesnít he? Next youíll tell me he sounds evil too, right?

"HAHAHHAHA. You did a move that almost made ya faint huh. Well, thank you. I got something for you since you almost destroyed Gengar. I can now erase yourÖ." Darktwo was cut off by Francis the Snivy

"Membrane" Francis the Snivy said

What?

"This aint no chemistry class here. I will erase yourÖ" Darktwo said before he was cut off by Francis the Snivy again

"Worries" Francis the Snivy said

This is it, isnít it?

"This aint no emotion contest here. I will erase yourÖ." Darktwo said before being cut off again

"History" Francis the Snivy said

The death of comedy. I knew it would happen one day.

"This aint no school. Uxie, come out here and get open, or I will give you the beating of your life!" Darktwo yelled as Uxie was released from his "jail cell"

Uxie emerges from his "jail cell" to see Darktwo. He seeks Darktwo's command.

"Uxie, erase Francis the Snivy's powers" Darktwo said

"His what?" Uxie asked Darktwo

"Powers! His memories, duhhhhhh!" Darktwo yelled at Uxie

And for good measure, why not burn its corpse and piss in the ashes, punctuated by the narrative wit of a fourth grader.

"You know what Mr. "I can beat up Francis the Snivy", I can't do that! You better be nice or I won't erase Francis the Snivy's memories, or better yet, Francis the Snivy is so nicer than you. I don't think he even deserves having his memories erased. I mean come on! I only erase memories of pokemon who are mean like you, not those who are nice, like Francis the Snivy. Francis the Snivy deserves to tell me to erase your memories Darktwo! I know you commanded me to erase Francis the Snivy's memories, but you put me in a bad position to where I have to think about it. Wow Darktwo! Wow! You made me erase the memories of 699 pokemon in a row without conflict, but today is a different story. I will talk to Francis the Snivy to see he wants to have this done, but I doubt that he will say yes. If he does, you get a lucky break, and even if I erases Francis the Snivy's memories, I will still remember him as a friend that you , Darktwo, destroyed, all because of this "Soul Games" tournament that Team Angeles went through to fight you. It did not need to end up this way you know. Think about it Darktwo, because what you are about to make me do, will fore right back at you in the near future. You better think this through; in fact, I am no longer your friend Darktwo. I am Francis the Snivy's new friend forever, even if I erase his memories of his brother Francis the Buizel, or even of his life as a pokemon, or whatever memories I erase of him" Uxie concluded his speech

Attached Image

Wow, I think the author just officially got tired of his own shit. And his solution is to have a tertiary character verbally reprimand Darktwo like theyíre both middle schoolers in an abusive relationship, and heís already picked his rebound partner. Iím really at a loss whether this is the author projecting some kind of in-real-life issues, but in any case, I think we just hit another apex on this crazy rollercoaster ride.

Francis the Snivy had a flashback of Tory the Ninetales when Tory officially turned him into a Snivy.

Flashback from Chapter 1

All of a sudden, Francis and Suyapa gets attacked NO NO NO MOTHER FUCKING NO! This makes it twice now. This psychological scab-picker of an author has copy-pasted most of the first chapter into the same story, twice! Away it fucking goes!

-Snip-


Flashback ends

Team Angeles is now about to find out if Francis the Snivy's memories will be erasedÖ.

You know, I wouldnít put my bets on it, and yet this author is so goddamn masochistic, and his writing style so inane and off-the-wall crazy, that it might just fucking happen.

That's all for now, but in a few hours, Uxie's decession, and the rest of my announcement countdown. That's tonight on Chapter 53 of the story. See you all from 6PM to 10PM

------------------------

That was something new. Iím not even quite sure what to call it. I donít think the author can even qualify as sane after writing this story, because it certainly makes my head spin. I just hope he doesnít find a way to top himself after this.


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"So... preparing to storm into the room, you jostle your badger, kick down the door, and throw it at the thug standing inside." - Moment from my D&D campaign.

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Post #34
StabbyKobold


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post Feb 22 2017, 03:02 PM
Last chapter was dumb Ė really dumb. This one is too. I canít say much more than that. Enjoy.

------------------------

Chapter 53: Darktwo VS Uxie: The Talking Game

FrancisTheUnconsciousSnivy101: Welcome to chapter 53 (The second of 2 chapters today) of the story. This is where Uxie has to make a big decision on whether to erase Francis the Snivy's memories or not to.

The fact that there is a decision to be made is fucking idiotic; but sure, letís see if this goes anywhere.

This chapter will tell us how part 3 will begin (introduction chapters for part 3 is tomorrow). We also have the rest of the top 10 countdown of the announcements I want to hear/read about. This chapter is mostly with Darktwo and Uxie talking to each other.

So long as Francis keeps his mouth shut, I can take a bit of banter.

Here we go, and without further delayÖ

Team Angeles: FrancisTheUnconsciousSnivy101 does not own anything

Alerts in chapter

French words translated

Attached Image

Iíve heard of trigger warnings, but this is getting goddamn ridiculous. How could the author think this even has a point?

Last lines before the bell:

Darktwo laughs at Francis the Snivy

"HAHAHHAHA. You did a move that almost made ya faint huh. Well, thank you. I got something for you since you almost destroyed Gengar. I can now erase yourÖ." Darktwo was cut off by Francis the Snivy

"Membrane" Francis the Snivy said

I donít know about that, but my faith in humanity is sure taking a hit.

"This aint no chemistry class here. I will erase yourÖ" Darktwo said before he was cut off by Francis the Snivy again

"Worries" Francis the Snivy said

"This aint no emotion contest here. I will erase yourÖ." Darktwo said before being cut off again

"History" Francis the Snivy said

You know, a time travel plot would be much more interesting than this, now that you mention it.

"This aint no school. Uxie, come out here and get open, or I will give you the beating of your life!" Darktwo yelled as Uxie was released from his "jail cell"

Uxie emerges from his "jail cell" to see Darktwo.

What the fuck is this ďjail cellĒ? Did Darktwo carry him around in a birdcage, or was it an actual Pokťball?

He seeks Darktwo's command.

"Uxie, erase Francis the Snivy's powers" Darktwo said

"His what?" Uxie asked Darktwo

"Powers! His memories, duhhhhhh!" Darktwo yelled at Uxie

How the hell would memories even equate to powers? I mean, I guess if Pokťmon forget their move sets, then they would be kind of powerless, but I donít think thatís what the author is going for.

"You know what Mr. "I can beat up Francis the Snivy", I can't do that! You better be nice or I won't erase Francis the Snivy's memories, or better yet, Francis the Snivy is so nicer than you. I don't think he even deserves having his memories erased. I mean come on! I only erase memories of pokemon who are mean like you, not those who are nice, like Francis the Snivy. Francis the Snivy deserves to tell me to erase your memories Darktwo! I know you commanded me to erase Francis the Snivy's memories, but you put me in a bad position to where I have to think about it. Wow Darktwo! Wow! You made me erase the memories of 699 pokemon in a row without conflict, but today is a different story. I will talk to Francis the Snivy to see he wants to have this done, but I doubt that he will say yes. If he does, you get a lucky break, and even if I erases Francis the Snivy's memories, I will still remember him as a friend that you , Darktwo, destroyed, all because of this "Soul Games" tournament that Team Angeles went through to fight you. It did not need to end up this way you know. Think about it Darktwo, because what you are about to make me do, will fore right back at you in the near future. You better think this through; in fact, I am no longer your friend Darktwo. I am Francis the Snivy's new friend forever, even if I erase his memories of his brother Francis the Buizel, or even of his life as a pokemon, or whatever memories I erase of him" Uxie concluded his speech

I could stare at this entire paragraph for hours, go through it sentence by sentence, word for word, dissect every bit of crazy that the author managed to put into written form, and I would still not be able to fully clarify the utter madness that it contains. This thing, I feel, is yet another testament to the authorís martyr complex, this time displaying how he wants other people to treat him. Clearly, heís dealing with some sort of victim mentality Ė whether real or not, he feels unjustly treated in his life. However, rather than having his self-insert confront his aggressors, to live out the fantasy of standing up for himself, he wants others to do it for him. He wants others to take pity on him, to help him where he refuses to help himself. And his only justification is that heís a nice guy who keeps sacrificing himself, and his opponents are mean bullies. This story isnít a story any longer; itís just sixty-five chapters of masochistic, self-centered whining.

(Current Situation)

Team Angeles is listening to Uxie and Darktwo as they are talking about if Francis the Snivy should have his memories erased. The conservation continues.

"You really think that Francis the Snivy is so nice? He and his team beat Gengar. Gengar wants his revenge by having you Ms "I like Francis the Snivy" erase all his memories. I think that Gengar deserves his revenge. He was one of my friends. So think about that" Darktwo said to Uxie

"Hold on a second. Just because Francis the Snivy and his team defeated Gengar, does not mean that he deserves his memories to be erased, no sir, not buying it" Uxie said

Wouldnít it be better to counter with the fact that Gengar was the initial instigator of the conflict, and only got what was coming to him? It works a lot better than outright denial.

"EXCUSE ME!" Darktwo yelled

"YOU HEARD ME!"Uxie yelled so loud that Francis the Snivy fainted from the shock

Attached Image

Iím starting to think the author has a kink for humiliation too, at this point. Why else would he play off his own misery as comedy?

"Sorry Francis the Snivy" Uxie said

"It's ok. If it is needed that you need to yell, go ahead" Suyapa said

ďFrancis bleeds from orifices all the time; that blood coming out of his ears is nothing new. Donít worry about it.Ē

"Why did you apologize huh?" Darktwo asked

"I apologized because I made Francis the Snivy faint by accident" Uxie said

"OhÖso you apologized because you favorite Snivy fainted huh. I see how it is" Darktwo said

"Yes. That is what nice pokemon like me do. We apologize for accidents" Uxie said

"EXCUSE ME! YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO APPOLOGIZE TO FRANCIS THE SNIVY EVER AGAIN!" Darktwo yelled so loud that Uxie started crying.

Iíve seen kids' shows meant for toddlers that were less infantile than this fucking tripe.

"Darktwo!" Team Angeles yelled

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?" Darktwo asked

"We want you to stop" Suyapa said

"JE DETESTE DARKTWO (I hate Darktwo)" Uxie said

"Non, Tu amirer moi (no, you admire me)" Darktwo said

"Yeah right! Je amrier Francis le Snivy (I admire Francis the Snivy)" Uxie said

What the hell is going on?! First the conflict has devolved into yelling between kindergarten-mentality, one-note characters, and now weíre getting gratuitous French for no reason. I knew this battle was going to end nonsensically, but this is just random.

"Oh really?" Darktwo aked while launching a Shadow Ball attack toward Uxie.

"HELP!" Uxie yelled

Francis the Snivy revives to run toward the Shadow Ball attack. Uxie held his hands in a defensive X manner. Uxie was waiting for the contact to come, but it never came, because Francis the Snivy stepped in front of him to take the attack. Francis the Snivy fainted for saving Uxie.

Another convenient recovery from unconsciousness that leads to another rebound. If the author was snorting cocaine like the cool kids, this would be the equivalent of doing another line.

"Francis No!" Uxie yelled

"Hey, I think it is supposed to be Francis, Yes!" Darktwo yelled

"FRANCIS THE SNIVY FAINTED BECAUSE OF YOU! HE SAVED ME FROM YOU! JE DETESTE VOUS DARKTWO! (I hate you Darktwo)" Uxie yelled

The actual problem is that they donít have any other reason to hate Darktwo. Any and all conflict here has been because Darktwo was out to get Francis. At least Gengar had a truckload worth of corpses to his name Ė not that it changed Team Angelesí motivation any.

"YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SAY THAT!" Darktwo yelled

"I have the right to" Uxie said

"Yeah right!" Darktwo yelled

"I told you that Francis the Snivy should not have his memories erased!" Uxie yelled

"Prove it to me in a battle!" Darktwo yelled

"Fine, if you win, I will erase Francis the Snivy's memories. If I win, I will not erase Francis the Snivy's memories" Uxie said

Dude, if you donít want to do the thing, donít even make it an option. How are you this monumentally stupid?

"Deal" Darktwo said

"When does this battle start?" Yuneri asked

"It starts from 7 to 11PM, here on "Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: The Mystery of Francis" Uxie said

Stop pissing up against the fourth wall, will you?

Here is the rest of the countdown

4th: New Basketball game

3rd: Surprises

2nd: Pokemon Black and White 3?

1st: The Grand Theft Auto 5 release date please

The special chapter featuring Uxie VS Darktwo for the battle for Francis the Snivy's memories is tonight from 7PM to 11PM

You have a very, very, very weird understanding of how both time and the written medium works, author. If you open up your emails from weeks ago, do you think you are receiving direct messages from time travelers?

------------------------

Weíre twelve chapters away from ending this. But I need a breather. The crazy has been thick these last few chapters. Iíll find something not written by an escaped mental patient, mock it, and then return to this, when Iíve been reacquainted with normality.


--------------------
"So... preparing to storm into the room, you jostle your badger, kick down the door, and throw it at the thug standing inside." - Moment from my D&D campaign.

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Post #35
truthordeal


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post Feb 22 2017, 07:15 PM
QUOTE
"FRANCIS THE SNIVY FAINTED BECAUSE OF YOU! HE SAVED ME FROM YOU! JE DETESTE VOUS DARKTWO! (I hate you Darktwo)" Uxie yelled


"Je dťteste toi," unless you're being needlessly formal. I say this, of course, knowing full well that he probably used Google Translate, or is taking 8th grade Intro to French.


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