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> Pokemon Mystery Dungeon:The Mystery of Francis, Francis the Snivy MK IV, amnesiac to the rescue
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post Jul 5 2016, 04:19 AM
I feel it’s been long enough, that I can finally get back into this mess of a series. This is Pokemon Mystery Dungeon:The Mystery of Francis, by Francelette The Angel aka FrancisTheUnconsciousHero aka Blacksterops1025. If you’re not familiar with this author, feel free to check my previous mocks of his works. In brief, he is by far the most inept storyteller I have ever seen, and his self-insert protagonist suffers from a martyr complex, which is evident from the repeated times he is knocked unconscious and persecuted by villains for no reason. Also, the author tends to include sports as part of the plot, and he plays video game journalist from time to time by including reviews for contemporary titles that he happens to play.

In this fanfic, Francis rejoins his teammates only to end up with memory loss. I’d groan at the cliché, if it wasn’t because of my complete lack of faith in the author’s ability to even get it right. Really, whenever I set my expectations for his fanfics, I somehow still end up disappointed and baffled. Let’s just get to it, and brace for failure. Enjoy.


Chapter 1: The Beginning of a New Adventure

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to my next story for fanfiction.

First sentence. First fucking sentence and logic has already left us.

This story is officially titled "Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Mystery of Francis". We start this story in Los Angeles, and end the story in Darkrai's stadium in Las Vegas.

How many times can you rehash the same basic plot and locations, author?

In this chapter, Francis grabs a Ninetales tail, but this Ninetales does not want to do the curse on Francis because they are friends.

So what’s the fucking problem, then?

Here we go! Game On! I do not own anything!

(Location- Los Angeles, CA- 9 AM)

The day for Francis starts out with his best friend , Suyapa. They both head to a forest area to camp out for a day. Suyapa is wearing shorts with a shirt that said " Comboblade Rules" printed on it. She also had green shoes, and red socks. Francis was wearing shorts, a blue shirt with the number 11 printed on it. He also had green shoes with blue socks.

I feel I must point this out, since it hasn’t been made clear yet; Francis and Suyapa are both humans right now. It was at least implied that Francis would return to being human at the end of the last story, for what little sense that made, but how Suyapa ended up the same way, I have no fucking clue. And we can’t even assume that this is all just a separate continuity, when they are wearing their team’s merchandise.

The duo of friends has now arrived at the forest clearing.

(Location- Forest clearing in Los Angeles- 10 AM)

The friends have arrived at the clearing after walking for 30 minutes.

I guess they stood still for the remaining thirty minutes there are between 9 AM and 10 AM.

Francis decides to explore the forest. Suyapa also decides to join with Francis's exploration. The friends see the treasure that they found earlier in their adventures.

What’s it doing here? What even is it? When will anything make sense?

While the team was exploring the forest, Francis's Ninetales comes up to them.

He owns a Pokémon? Boy, this is going to become awkward in a minute.

"How are you today Francis" Tory said

"Not much" Francis said

I’m tempted to say that you are “not much” every day of your life.

All of a sudden, Francis and Suyapa gets attacked which forces them to grab the Ninetales tail. Francis's Ninetales at first did not want to curse either person.

One, attacked by what or who? Two, how would an assault force them to grab onto Ninetales’ tail? Three, if he doesn’t want to curse them, what is the issue – can’t he just not curse them? Every new sentence I read of this story is another enigmatic exploration of the author’s stupidity.

"I don't want to do this to my friend" the Ninetales thought to himself.

The Ninetales thought was interrupted by the Ninetales clan

"Remember what the rules were?" the Ninetales said

"Yeah, but-" Francis's Ninetales said

"You have to do it, otherwise you are out of the clan" the Ninetales said

This is just stupid. The whole bit about Ninetales cursing people for touching their tails is due to them being vengeful by nature. They take affront to personal attacks, even if the attacker did not intend for it. Somehow, the author interprets this as some kind of formal rule, that Ninetales adhere to through peer pressure. What even?

"I don't want to hurt my friend like this" Francis's Ninetales said

"I know it hurts, but he touched your tail, also his friend did too" the Ninetales said

"I know, but what am I going to do without them?" Francis's Ninetales asked

Live free? How can you still be in a clan if you belong to Francis anyway?

"Why don't you make a compromise with them" the Ninetales said

"Ok" Francis's Ninetales said

That’s the wrong people you should be making a compromise with, Ninetales. Francis’ Ninetales, I mean. Tory. Why did we both forget his name, author?

The Ninetales clan was waiting for a compromise for the curse on both Francis and Suyapa. This one will not be easy.

"Francis, I don't know what to do when I curse you to turn into a Snivy" Francis's Ninetales said

"How about this, since me and Suyapa are about to turn into pokemon, when we return from our adventure, we will let you meet our friends" Francis said

"Ok" Francis's Ninetales said

Attached Image

What fucking kind of compromise is that? “Yeah, you’re going to curse us for the crime of invading your personal space, but how about we sweeten the deal by introducing you to whoever we’ve met once we see each other again.” Fucking what?!

The Ninetales clan was also sad to lose two good friends, but they understand Francis's Ninetales situation.

Then why would they force Ninetales to go through with the curse?!

They wished both Francis and Suyapa good luck on their pokemon journey.

"Even if I curse the both of you to turn into pokemon, I will still be your friends ok" Francis's Ninetales said

"I understand" Both Francis and Suyapa said

Remember kids, grudges and resentment are only for bad people – keep your emotions clean and animosity free.

"I shall give you something to take to the pokemon world, you soccer jerseys"

Francis's Ninetales hands Francis his #11 jersey, while handing Suyapa her #18 jersey.

I can only assume he stole them previously.

"Put them on before I curse you" Francis's Ninetales said

Francis and Suyapa put their jerseys on and get prepared to turn into pokemon.

"This jerseys are very special. When I turn you into pokemon, all you clothes will fall from your bodies, but you jerseys will remain on you as a pokemon. Good luck on your journey" Francis's Ninetales said

Who cares, Pokémon are nude all the time. Even the ones that look like they have clothes.

Francis's Ninetales casted the curse on both Francis and Suyapa while of course trying not to cry. Lights glowed around Francis and Suyapa as little by little; they are disappearing to the pokemon world. As they disappeared, all their traces fell from their bodies and landed on the grass below. Francis's Ninetales start to cry so hard that he almost stopped the curse.

And have Francis and Suyapa stand there in nothing but sports jerseys? No thanks.

Once Francis and Suyapa disappeared into the pokemon world, he wished both good luck.

"Good luck you too" Francis's Ninetales and the Ninetales clan said to the sky.

Blacksterops1025: That's it for the introduction. First chapter on Friday!

This was the first chapter, you illiterate desk-monkey!

Fucking hell, this story is already awful. Nothing to do but bite the bullet, I guess. Next chapter, go!

Chapter 2: Double Memory Loss

Blacksterops1025: Welcome back to chapter 2 of the story "Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Mystery of Francis". In this chapter, we have our special characters papering in this chapter.

Do you just pick random verbs without knowing what they mean, author?

In addition, I will also review the game "Pokemon White" for the DS. Is this game a buy? Find out during this chapter. Game On! I don't own anything!

(Location- Angeles Stadium- 30 seconds left of a game)

Team Angeles was watching the Los Angeles Gamers basketball game against Team Mean Guys.

Boy, I wonder who is going to be the villains of this story. Whoever could it be? It’s so uncertain.

The team is enjoying the game in the VIP section of the stadium. Suyapa is talking with Kat, while Rose is talking with Kavi. As they were talking, the referee calls a foul on Gengar. Gengar tries to argue with the referee, while blaming team Angeles for what happened. Then, everyone sees a glowing light in the center of the court. The light reveals a Snivy that is colored purple and yellow.

But… but… Suyapa is already there. Why is Francis appearing now, when they both were cursed at the same time?!

All of a sudden, the Snivy gets attacked by Gengar. The Snivy gets hit on the head, and faints just seconds later.

He hasn’t been back for five seconds, and already he’s knocked unconscious. How can I make a joke out of this, when the story just hands me the punchline like that?

The referee decides to get Gengar out of the game. Team Angeles decides to help the Snivy out by reviving him. The Snivy revives 4 minutes later. Suyapa tries to talk with the Snivy.

"Are you ok, Francis?" Suyapa asked the Snivy

"My head hurts really badly" Francis said to Suyapa

The team helps Francis get to a car to take him to the bed at the teams guild in Los Angeles. The team doesn't know that two pokemon have memory loss (Francis and Kavi).

Wait, why would Kavi have memory loss? What is going on?!

(Location- Angeles Guild- Los Angeles, CA- 9PM)

The team arrives at the guild to have Francis rest in a bed. The rest of the team tries to talk to Kavi about who he remembers and doesn't remember. The team started investigating.

"Kavi, it's me Suyapa. Do you remember me?" Suyapa asked Kavi

In any other story, it would be Suyapa who would be suffering from memory loss, since they came from another world. Did the author just forget whom he had Ninetales curse in the first chapter?

"I don't remember you at all." Kavi said

"Kavi, it's me, Rose. Don't you remember me?" Rose asked Kavi

"That's a beautiful name, but I don't remember you" Kavi said.

You were talking with Rose at the stadium, you pea-brain!

"Let's stop this for now. We shall continue this again tomorrow" Suyapa said.

(Location- Same Location- 10 AM the next day)

What wonderful transitions this story has.

Francis wakes up to find himself on a bed with his own name on it, with the colors purple and yellow. He sees Suyapa waiting for him so they can talk.

"Are you feeling better Francis" Suyapa asked

"Not really, you see…" Francis was cut-off by Suyapa

"Let me ask you, where are you from?" Suyapa asked

“From a place where people are more polite when you answer their questions.”

"I can't remember where I am from, but I can remember you" Francis said

"I see, you and Kavi both have memory loss" Suyapa said

"No way, Kavi has it too?" Francis asked

Even with memory loss, he finds this unbelievable.

"Yes, we tried to help out, but all we got is I don't remember you answers from him" Suyapa said

"By the way, where am I?" Francis asked

"You are in our 30- floor guild in Los Angeles. This is called Angeles guild because of our team name, Team Angeles" Suyapa answered.

"Wow, 30 floors!" Francis yelled

"Yes Sir!" Suyapa said

Your memory is gone, you have no idea where you’re from, but, oh boy, you’re in a thirty floor building – how exciting!

We now head to commercial for a game review for "Pokemon White". We will be right back!

Blacksterops1025: I will do a tour of the guild in the beginning of next Tuesday's chapter. At this point, it is time to do a game review on "Pokemon White" I do not own anything:

Well, personal opinion is difficult to make objectively wrong, like the rest of this mess. Injecting it into the story is goddam idiotic, but at this point, I’d appreciate a short reprieve.

Pokemon White is a game that introduced 150 new pokemon. The game as always lets you choose a starter. The choices are a Snivy, an Oshawatt, and a Tepig. After picking a starter, you are on your way to becoming a pokemon champion. The game introduces two new ways of battling: Rotation, where you can rotate the field to select the pokemon matchup you want, and Triple battles, where it's a traditional 3 on 3, with different regulations. The battle scenes are improved with new features. The battle screen now includes an indicator for current time, if you are online, are on inferred, or if you are connected wirelessly. The battles are now more enjoyable, thanks to the battle music, and if you pokemon are about to faint, you will notice a music change right away. This game is nice and wonderful:

Well, I can’t fault your opinion, but this isn’t really a review, author. You just simply described the game to us. An actual review would have examination, consideration, argumentation, and evaluation; and other words ending in ‘–ation’, I’m sure. Don’t just tell us it’s “enjoyable” or “nice and wonderful”, tell us why it is those things. Still, it is better than the time you told us to not jump off ramps in Halo, so it’s a step up.

Score breakdown:

Sounds: 9.8/10- The sound of the game is amazing

Graphics: 9/10- The graphics are awesome in a way. It looks like it is in 3D

Game play: 9.8/10- While the rules are the same for battles, the addition of the triple battles, and rotation battles makes the game more interesting

Enjoyment: 10/10- Everyone will enjoy this game


Attached Image

Total: 38.6/40- 96%- Very amazing game

Blacksterops1025: Next week's game review is Resident Evil 5

Now back to the show

Yes, let’s go back to the literary version of Chinese water torture.

(Location- Angeles Guild- Kavi's room)

The team heads into Kavi's room on the 4th floor of the guild to try to help him with his memory loss problem. The team tries to talk to Kavi.

"Kavi. I just want to talk to you for a little bit." Suyapa said

“The guild can’t afford having thirty floors and hiring a medical professional at the same time, so you’re stuck with me.”

"Ok, I understand that you are trying to help me cope with my memory loss. I also heard that another pokemon has memory loss as well." Kavi said

"Yes, that is correct, and it happens to be Francis who has memory loss as well." Suyapa said

"Is he felling better?" Kavi asked

"A little bit" Suyapa answered

He said no such thing. In fact, he said he wasn’t feeling better. I know, because I just read it. Didn’t you, author?!

"How are you trying to help me with this memory loss?" Kavi asked

"What about some battles. This will just be friendly battles." Suyapa answered

Because when curing memory loss, blunt force trauma is what you want.

"I see." Kavi said

The team decides to see who should battle Kavi first. Francis raises his hand to signal that he wants in on the battle. He wants to help his friend out even if he has to faint to help out.

This only further illustrates my point about Francis’ martyr complex from the ending of my previous mock.

The team agrees to have Francis battle Kavi, followed by Rose VS Kavi, and Suyapa VS Kavi.

Blacksterops1025: That's all folks for chapter 2.

Announcements from Blacksterops1025

1) There is a chance that I can't update this weekend as I do because of those "FINALS" I have to get ready for. If I do update though, it would have to be at night.

Oh no, however will your readers cope.

2) I now have a word press account. If you want to follow and comment on the story, I will post the link on my profile page

3) I will have a new poll up for this story regarding choices for the next chapter title

I’m not usually one for having fanfic content be mandated by vote, but chapters can be titled whatever the fuck you want without it actually impacting the story. Go nuts.

4) If I don't update this weekend, I will update on Tuesday- Sunday of next week

5) If you have to take FINALS, I wish all of you good luck and hope you do well.

Thanks, I guess, even if you are a bit late. Which is a result of you communicating through a static medium. Why can’t you understand how the written word works?


That was two chapters out of a whopping sixty-five. Safe to say, I’ll be cramming chapters together whenever I can to not extend the madness any further than it needs to. And I doubt we’ve seen the worst yet.

"So... preparing to storm into the room, you jostle your badger, kick down the door, and throw it at the thug standing inside." - Moment from my D&D campaign.

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Post #2

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post Jul 5 2016, 04:24 AM
Blacksterops1025: Welcome to my next story for fanfiction.

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Post #3

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post Jul 7 2016, 04:53 AM
We’re moving on to the next chapter. I’d like to get this mock done with within the year, so I’ll try being a bit more frequent with my updates. As for this chapter, it’s pretty much more nonsense. Enjoy.


Chapter 3: Gengar is Back Again!

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to the next chapter to my story "Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Mystery of Francis". In this chapter, Kavi battles Rose and Francis and hopes to get his memory back, and there is a surprise, one of these pokemon will evolve, but which one?

Only one of us cares about this, author, can you guess which one?

Find out latter in this chapter. I also have a review for the game "Resident Evil 5" for the PS3, and Xbox 360. Is the game worth your money? Find out in my review latter on.

But what if my money is worth more than your money?

Notes about this chapter: Because I did not update yesterday, Francis the Snivy faints in today's chapter because of Gengar interrupting the battle.

You know, when people say that stories suffer due to lazy writing, I don’t think this is what they meant. Four mocks into your works, and yet I still can’t even begin to fathom your logic, author.

In tomorrow's chapter, Francis will, for the first time, not faint in the chapter.

Let me guess, it’s because he’ll fall unconscious in this one and only wake up in the next chapter? It’s happened in the other stories.

On Sunday's chapter, Gengar goes back to his old tricks to make sure Francis is unconscious for 5 weeks (5 chapters).

Attached Image

Why would you have your protagonist rendered inactive for five chapters? Why would you tell your readers this several chapters in advance? Why could you not find someone else to be the culprit, when Gengar is your most overused antagonist, making this entire thing not only hilariously incompetent but also incredibly boring?!

Anyways, as always….

Team Angeles: Blacksterops1025 does not own anything that you see in any of the chapters that you are reading in the story.

(Location- Angeles Guild- 1st floor)

The team is now touring the guild from bottom to top. The team starts on the first floor.

You’ve got two amnesiacs, one of them injured, needing medical attention and supervision, and they most probably should be taken to an actual hospital – but sure, let’s have them take a tour of your fictional fantasy crib.

"Welcome to the guild" Orion said

(Orion is the one who runs in the guild, and becomes our teammate)

"Thank you for having us" Team Angeles said as they walked along to start their tour.

Isn’t this supposed to be their building already? Why does the entire team need the tour?

"This is our mission room" Orion said pointing to a room with computers inside, a bulletin board, a stat checking machine, and 11 soccer uniforms (more on the soccer uniforms in the next chapter)".

"Wow, this room is big" Victor said

"I can see that" Suyapa said

Guess who can’t, author!

"Let's go inside the room to see what is inside" Orion said

The team heads into the room to listen to a information session with Orion about the room.

"Ok, so here is where you guys will be signing in everyday for missions, updates, soccer scores, Hp stats, and other useful information" Orion said as the team turned on their computers and waited for a login screen.

"When you get to the log in screen, type your name (username), and your soccer jersey number" Orion said as he started handing out soccer numbers to everyone. Suyapa and Francis already know what their number is, so they got to go ahead.

Who the fuck programs login security by using people’s names and the numbers on their clothes?! Any fuckwit with two brain cells could crack those passwords!

"After you log on, a Team Angeles logo will appear and will take you to your profile page. When you are there, please look at the information on the screen and see if the information matches you." Orion said as the team looked at their information and confirmed it.

"After you confirmed the information, place your right paw (hand) into the "paw identifier" to the right of your computer to register for the guild." Orion said as everyone did as instructed.

“And if you are one of the many Pokémon that don’t have any hands – get lost, you limbless freak!”

"Once you register for the guild, all I can say is welcome to the guild of hopes and dreams" Orion said as everyone went to happy mode.

I guess the drugs kicked in.

The team sees their Hp (respective to each player), their stats, their poke dollars, and their items. The team also sees a watch to the left of their computers.

"There is also something special just for this team. Imagine if Francis, or Suyapa is about to faint, and there is no warning about it. This little watch to the left of your computers has what we call the FAS (Faint Alert System). This device gives a alarm when Francis is about to faint in a battle.

Ah, yes, I remember the FAS from the last story. The only time it was ever used was during a fight where everyone was watching, which made it pointless.

Let me give you an example." Orion said as he went to the projector screen.

The team waits for the projector to turn on to show an example of the FAS in action. The team is already interested.

And I’m considering advertising this story as blood pressure medication – if my pulse gets any lower from boredom, I’ll fucking flatline.

"As you can see, Francis's Hp is at 100, which is good. Gengar uses Life Drain on him to drain the life out of Francis, therefore dropping his Hp to 1.5(yes there are .1's, .3's here too). When Francis's Hp drops to below 5%, the FAS starts to sound, signaling that Francis is about to faint in battle. At this point, the team also checks their FAS to see what is going on in the battle.

Giving his attacker ample time to knock the remaining 5 HP off his health bar. This is like making fire alarms that only react to actually being set on fire!

This is where the team can give items to Francis, or any other team members that need them. This system is touch screen based and will respond to your commands as fast as you can go. Once you press an item and dragged it from "team bag" to "Francis", then Francis can immediately use the item by touching the item that needs to be used." Orion concluded the speech

Even with Pokémon’s questionable technology used for storing items in computers, I’m still not certain how this here system can function.

The team likes the idea of the FAS, which they wanted to test out.

"Can we test it out today?" Kavi asked

"Sure, you and Francis can test it out since you two are battling first" Orion said

Sure, go ahead and knock him almost unconscious. I’ll wait for Gengar to inevitably show up and finish the job.

Kavi goes to Francis and hugs him, and wishes each other good luck in the battle.

"Francis, good luck man" Kavi said

"Same to you Kavi, I just hope Gengar doesn't show up" Francis said

"Me too" Kavi said

I’m already calling it; but sure, give us foreshadowing on par with a fucking eclipse, why don’t you.

The whole team heads to a battle field which is located on the third floor of the guild

(Location- 3rd floor of Angeles Guild- 10:30 AM)

The team is about to watch Kavi and Francis battle each other to test out the FAS. The teams FAS starts to turn on.

"FAS on" the machine said. "Good luck, and have a good battle time" the machine concluded.

“I’ll have a good time once I respond to your health being in critical condition, meat sacks.”

Kavi and Francis gets ready for their first battle against each other.

That battle is next, after the review for Resident Evil 5 for the PS3 and XBOX 360. I do not own anything.

I’m not one for criticizing people’s lack of property, but, oh boy, do I wish you owned some talent, author.

Warning: Review may contain material not suitable for younger readers, please skip to the battle with Francis and Kavi if you do not want to read the review. I will repeat the score at the end of the chapter for those who have skipped reading the review

Since you consider the mere mention of blood to be cause for warnings, I think we’ll all be just fine.

General information:

Resident Evil 5 is the 7th game in the series, which is after Resident Evil: Umbrella (I believe).

Research, what is that?!

This game was based in the fictional Africa. The game opens of course with the opening cut scene showing a man with something in his hand, while showing a truck approaching a checkpoint area. The scene goes back and forth.

Much like how I rock back and forth, clutching my knees, wondering how the fuck I ever found such an incompetent fanfic author.

The game stars Chris Redfield (who might seem familiar if you played Resident Evil 2), and a partner by the name of Sheva Alamor (who is new to me in the series). If you played Resident Evil games before, your goal in the game is to kill zombies with guns and more.

That’s like saying the goal of a footrace is to run really fast; there’s a difference between the goal and the process.

Game play:

The game is amazing in several ways in terms of game play. There are 4 controller types, including Resident Evil 4's type as well. The game delivers on the "gamer factor" because in this game, you are going to need fast reactions and fast fingers if you want to win. You must have your preferred control type, and your weapons ready, otherwise its game over

You must also have your generic, fast-paced, action game descriptions on hand, in case you want to avoid describing its mechanics in any shape or form.


The graphics is what makes a game, and this game delivered on that in the most beautiful way possible. This game has detailed images for each part of the game. For example, if you see a Zombie on the screen, what you get is a beautiful graphic image of a zombie (They are really not beautiful creatures however). This game delivers on that.

Attached Image


This game, when it comes to music, sounds, it delivers in every way. The game's sound goes quiet when there are no Zombies to defeat, but once there are zombies, then the music changes. Even the dialogue is amazing. Each line that the characters speak, it felt like you are in the game with them.

If the author had even the slightest bit of intelligence, he could have explained how sound cues and immersive atmosphere can benefit the player experience. Instead we get the writings of a marginally intelligent baboon that’s amazed by anything more acoustically advanced than two slabs of ham slapped together.

The Verdict:

If you like these types of games, then you will like Resident Evil 5.

And if I don’t like these types of games, I won’t like it. Any other obvious conclusions you want to give us?

It has a lot of action, and it is 2 players by the way. The game is amazing in every way possible.

Score Breakdown:

Graphics: 10/10- Amazing graphics made this a great game

Sounds: 9.5/10- Amazing sounds made this game as enjoyable as ever

Game play: 10/10-Just Amazing

Other Mentions: 10/10- Amazing game to play

Hey, guys, I just made this review of a game. I scored it, Miscellaneous: 10/10 – aren’t I the clever rebel?

Final Total: 39.5/40- 97.5%- An Amazing game that should not be missed

And now back to the show

(Location- 3rd floor of Angeles Guild- Battle: Kavi VS Francis (friendly))

The team is now ready to watch the battle. Joey the Riolu, who is the referee, sets the rules:

1) This is a friendly battle- A win or loss here will not hurt you in the points race for the championship

There’s a championship? And these amnesiacs are somehow part of it? How?!

2) Interruptions are a NO-NO- There are no interruptions allowed from outside the battle, if one does happen, the battle is ruled "No contest" even if Francis or Kavi fainted first.

So one is going to happen, of course. Leave it to this author to make foreshadowing as blinding and repetitive as a strobe light.

3) If the battle has no winner after 5 minutes, this will be officially a draw

4) Good Luck and have fun

So if they don’t have fun, will they be disqualified?

Joey: We did a coin toss back stage and Francis has selected to go second. Good luck you two.

Francis/Kavi: Let's have fun and battle! (This is our team battle cry)

I haven’t seen a wimpier battle cry since the Besaid Aurochs; could you up the testosterone just a little bit?

(Battle format)

Kavi uses Leaf Blade

Kavi runs toward Francis and jumps up and extends his tail to try land the hit, but Francis sidesteps and dodges the attack.

Francis uses Energy Ball

The descriptions of these fights may be lacking, but it’s way better than the first story’s ‘Character A uses X, Character B receives Y damage’. You learn to appreciate the small improvements with this author.

Francis forms a ball from his tail and aims it like if he is about to shoot a three pointer. Francis launches the ball and hits Kavi's tail. Kavi decides to deflect the hit and sends it back to Francis. Francis says "two can play that game" by using his tail to deflect the ball "out of bounds". The ball explodes and does no damage to anyone.

The supportive structure of the thirty floor building suffered greatly however, and they soon had to evacuate due to safety concerns. But seriously, who puts a Pokémon arena on a floor with that much steel and concrete overhead?

Francis: You're good

Kavi: Same to you



The duo continued to battle each other, and dodging each other's moves, so much that Kavi is starting to regain his memory of Francis back. The battle was about to get a huge game changer that starts up a rivalry that starts up again.

(Back to the battle)

What? You just spent two sentences describing the fucking battle. What is wrong with you?

Kavi and Francis are down to 2 HP each, and both of their FAS started alarming. Since both players are technically teammates, there is no way to help each other, that was about to change…

Kavi uses Leaf Blade

I don’t think this counts as helping, I’m afraid.

Kavi runs toward Francis and jumps and extends his blade, but just as he was about to hit Francis, a purple shadow attacks Francis knocking him unconscious. Kavi, instead of finishing the attack, goes and help Francis to the bench and tells Joey what happened during that exchange.

Because the referee wasn’t looking directly at the match? Are you quite daft or is Joey in fact blind?

"Joey, please do not make the call that I won this battle. It's not fair that someone attacked Francis unconscious instead of me doing that." Kavi said to Joey

"Yes Kavi, I understand" Joey said

Suyapa, who was watching the battle, noticed and shouted "GENGAR" to make the purple shadow reveal itself to be Gengar.

Do I even have to say it? I called this two fucking fanfics ago, that’s how predictable this author is with his choice of antagonists.

She knew that this rivalry is about to start again. Joey also knew something was not right; he makes the call of who won this battle.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, your attention please. Francis is unconscious and is unable to battle; however, since Gengar has interrupted the battle by attack Francis, this battle is declared No Contest!' Joey said out loud.

Yeah, uh-huh, fine, is anyone going to do anything about Gengar, or are you all just going to twiddle your thumbs and let him get away like you always do?

The team helps Francis, while wondering why Gengar attacked him. The team has a long adventure on their hands.

You indifferent, imbecilic, fuck-wits; a strangulation could happen in front of you, and all you would do would be to stand there and fucking look!

We have one last commercial break. We will be back with the conclusion of this chapter, right after I explain what a transfer window is.

During the tour of the guild (at the beginning of this chapter) I forgot to explain what a transfer window is.

There is such a thing as editing your story. You’re still writing it at this point, you smallminded idiot!

Here is what it is:

1) It is a period where teams can buy and sell players from team to team

2) These periods in the story lasts for about 5 chapters each season

3) Once each player has logged on into the computer, they will have the opportunity to send player suggestions to Orion Via the transfer window tab

Why are you telling us all this, author? I know you’ve tried recruiting your readers into giving you OCs and vote for character changes in the past, but you write this as if it’s a completely internal, in-universe process. This, all of this, is meaningless.

4) Orion has to verify the suggestions and the team decides how much to offer the player how much to play for the battle team, and soccer team

5) If the offer is accepted, then the player joins team Angeles for an X amount of stories or chapters

6) Same thing goes for giving players to other teams

7) This is where the story can change at any time

A story should be able to change at any time, at any point, that’s what would make it a hell of a lot more interesting than this tired, repetitive, nihilistically boring tripe!

8) Segment name: Game changers of the game

9) All teams have a team budget of 500,000 poke dollars

Game changers of the game

Anyone else feeling more lost than the time they were separated from their parents at the mall?

The following players are planning on staying in Team Angeles (Formerly team Comboblade)

Mizu the Buizel

Aqua the Pipulp

Fang the Axew

The Following players can never be traded for other players

Although, you have to admit, having them switch to another team would at least give the story a more interesting conflict.

Suyapa the Pikachu- Main Heroine, romance with Francis

Francis the Snivy- Main Hero, romance with Suyapa

Orion the Growlithe- Francis's friend, guild leader, and teammate

Kavi the Servine- Francis's Friend, teammate

Rose the Snivy/ Servine- Possible romance with Francis or Kavi

And now you’ve spoiled which Pokémon is going to evolve. HOW DO YOU KEEP DOING THIS?!

The following players have interests in joining Team Angeles

Viktor the Serperior- Comander- Vipe's OC

Ivanna the Serperior- Comander- Vipe's OC

Natasha the Serperior- Comander- Vipe's OC

Boris the Snivy- Comander- Vipe's OC

Alexander the Snivy- Comander- Vipe's OC

Katyusha the Snivy- Comander- Vipe's OC

Ania the Snivy- Comander- Vipe's OC

Why are everyone you’ve picked for the transfer either a Snivy or its final evolution? And Russian?

And now to the conclusion of this chapter

(Location- 1st floor of Angeles Guild- Francis's room)

The team is looking after Francis after what happened earlier. The team wonders why Gengar attacked him. Suyapa was the most worries, as her love has fainted again. She just can't believe that Gengar would attack Francis like that.

It’s kind of his thing, Suyapa. I would have thought you’d have caught on by now.

She liked Francis a lot as a friend, and she enjoys him every day, but once Francis faints, she gets all upset at Gengar for doing it. Suyapa was about to cry, when all of a sudden Rose battles Kavi and Kavi wins, but the fun part is when Rose evolves into a Servine and Rose kisses Kavi.

Sorry, I must have blinked, the fuck was that? I mean, I’m happy I don’t have to sit through another boring fight scene, but what in the hell?!

Kavi remembers Rose by her kiss. The team loves the kiss. Suyapa was still crying about Gengar attacking Francis, but was happy that Rose evolved and kissed Kavi.

That's all for this chapter folks.

It just about all I can take too. How is everyone in this story so monumentally stupid?!

Preview for tomorrow's chapter:

We have a friendly battle (Kavi VS Rose), and there shall be romance with these two

Francis takes a small break from fainting

Viktor the Serperior joins team Angeles

So much for whatever suspense you were going for with the transfer window bullshit.

The rest of the Guild tour (Game room, Special room, and the rest of the third floor)

Transfer Window update

Also: Special game review for Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explores of Sky

And nothing about apprehending Gengar. Fucking nothing.

Plus: Will I make this story a video game?

Transfer Window form.

Chelsea fans and our Manchester united fans: They face each other on Sunday, so please check that out. Don't forget the Super bowl on Sunday as well.

I’m not interested in sports. Heck, if you asked me point blank about either of those teams, I’d have no answers for you. But I’m pretty sure that if anyone were fans of them, they’d already know about their match. They wouldn’t need your footnote at the bottom of this literary travesty to remind them.


It’s nearing the point where I can predict the author’s stupidity in advance, mainly because he doesn’t have the imagination to break from his formula. Still, I expect at least one or two unexpected turns of insanity; anything less would only disappoint me further.

This post has been edited by StabbyKobold: Jul 7 2016, 05:01 AM

"So... preparing to storm into the room, you jostle your badger, kick down the door, and throw it at the thug standing inside." - Moment from my D&D campaign.

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Post #4

Critically Sarcastic

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post Jul 10 2016, 10:13 AM
Alright, who of you is ready for the plot to drag its heels, waiting for the protagonist to regain consciousness, while trying to distract the readers with useless information? Don’t talk to your monitor, it makes you look insane. Enjoy.


Chapter 4: Guild Tour 2 and Francis Revives

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to the next chapter for my story "Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Mystery of Francis" In this chapter, Francis revives, and will not faint in this chapter.

The only suspense you can create, author, is whether you will forget what you actually promised your readers.

We also have the rest of the guild tour. I will also do a review on the game "Soul Caliber V", and tomorrow, I will review "Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explores of Sky". I will translate the Filipino words that come up in this chapter.

Why write words in Filipino, if you’re just going to translate them anyway? I mean, it’s readily åbentlyst (apparent) that this kind of oversættelse (translation) is redundant and fucking (fucking) idiotic.

And now..

Team Angeles: Blacksterops1025 does not own anything in the chapters you are reading at this time.

(Location- 1st floor of Angeles Guild- Mission Room)

The team is still wondering why Gengar would attack Francis like the way he did.

Gengar has been doing it for more than three fanfics now; I don’t think we’ll ever get an actual justification.

The team is now asking Suyapa for information regarding Gengar and Francis's rivalry.

I wouldn’t call repeated and continuous assaults and murder attempts for rivalry.

"Suyapa, do you want to tell us what is going on with Gengar?" The team asked

"Ok. It goes like this" Suyapa began

"Me and Francis were best friends on the first day that we met each other. He and I were in the forest when I heard a yell from Francis calling for help. He was battling Gengar alone. He was about to get hit by Gengar's Shadow Ball, but I helped him out by taking the attack. He helped me up and asked me to be his partner. Since then me and him have been battling Gengar ever since. When I saw a purple shadow in yesterday's battle, I knew it was Gengar because of the way Gengar attacks Francis. He always aims at Francis's head to make sure that Francis would stay unconscious for at least 6 days or more." Suyapa concluded her speech.

That explains nothing about Gengar’s motivations, and, in fact, only convolutes the protagonists’ backstory even further. How many times is he supposed to have been a human turned Pokémon and back again?

"Wow, so this rivalry still exists!" The team said

"Yes, I'm afraid so" Suyapa said.

It’s not a fucking rivalry! A rivalry would imply they were competing somehow, but Gengar is nothing but a troll that pummels Francis at every opportunity. It even happened during a Christmas episode in the presence of Santa Claus himself, that’s how goddamn one-dimensional the antagonist is!

Orion was listening to the conversation and he called the team to continue the tour of the guild. The team responded by following Orion to continue the tour.

(Location- Angeles Guild- 1st floor)

"This is our game room for recreational activities" Orion said as he pointed to a room with basketballs, soccer balls, scoreboards, and many other types of activities.

"Wow, it is very nice" Suyapa said

"I know" Rose said

Because when you don’t trust the reader to make their own judgement from the lackluster descriptions, have the characters force your opinions on the reader instead.

"If you follow me, I will show you our banking area" Orion said as the team walked behind him.

The team is looking at a room with a banking booth, a poke dollar machine, and a transfer window board.

"In this room, we control our teams bank accounts, track the transfer window news, and we let you do a poke dollar withdrawal for free." Orion said as he let the team inside

“And if the cops ask you about any money laundering schemes, remember that snitches get stitches.”

The team was amazed as they got ready to do banking with the guild. The team asked about the money and other information that they need to know.

"This is how we do banking in Angeles Guild" Orion began:

Withdrawals & Deposits

Withdrawals are made by entering your uniform number and the amount of poke dollars you would like or how much would you like to put in.

Are you kidding me? No one wants to know this, author! What’s next, you’ll walk us through the accounting too?!

Poke dollars are withdrawn in units of 200 poke dollars.

Earning Poke Dollars

Poke dollars are earned by defeating enemies in dungeons.

They are also earned for team bonuses based on the leader

“What, you think we pay you? Labor laws don’t exist here, sukkah!”

Special Rules

If all players faint in a dungeon, you only lose 10 poke dollars, or would drop to the nearest tenth ( If for example Francis faints, and has 201 poke dollars, he would lose 10 poke dollars, plus 1 for nearest tenth, therefore, he would have 190 poke dollars)

No, he’d have 200 poké dollars, because that would be the nearest tenth he’d drop to; learn to math. Also, what is this easy mode bullshit? You’d likely earn that kind of money from a single encounter.

"That's all you have to know" Orion said as he turned off the projector screen.

The team was satisfied as they headed to the transfer window board.

"What is this" Suyapa asked Orion

"That is the transfer window board. This is where the suggested players for our team land to see how they are doing, and if we want to purchase a player." Orion said

“And remember, we call it ‘transfer’ now, it’s much more PC than ‘trafficking’ and ‘enslavement’”.

"So it is like a player tracker?" Suyapa asked Orion

"Yes it is" Orion answered

"Follow me this way to see your beds" Orion said as he led the team to the elevators labeled "To Team Beds"

The team boards the elevator to head to the 3rd floor of the guild.

"There are two elevators, one for you guys, and one for your special groups (which I will explain in the next chapter)"

Are we talking about special needs Pokémon, or is it the ‘Snivys Only’ vibe I’ve been getting from the transfer window last chapter?

Orion said as the elevator landed on the third floor.

(3rd floor)

The team see's each room labeled with their names on it. The team goes straight to Francis's room to see if he is ok. The team see's the nurse right beside Francis talking to him in Filipino.

"Francis 'makakuha ng mas mahusay na sa lalong madaling panahon iyong mga kaibigan miss ka ay isang taong matapang na batang lalaki, at ikaw ay maligtas (Francis' get better soon ok. Your friends miss you already. You are a brave boy, and you will pull through)" The nurse said to Francis.

Again, there is no point to having this be in Filipino. Aside from confusing my spellchecker, it brings nothing to the narrative. Heck, I don’t even know if Francis understands Filipino, although I’m sure the author intends for it to be so.

The team also goes inside Francis's room to help the nurse out by saying kind words to Francis.

Geez, if kind words help people recover from injury, I must have killed about thirty people with the mocks I’ve produced.

We will take a break for a moment. We will do announcements at this point:

The battle between Kavi and Rose will go on in tomorrow's chapter

I thought you said Kavi won that fight, why would you have it continue?

Comander- Vipe's OC's will join as their own group beginning next week

The game review for Soul Caliber v will not happen because I barely got the game today

This is why I consider you unreliable, author. You establish your intended goals at the beginning of the chapter, only to suddenly drop or forget them halfway through, never bothering to go back and actually change what you wrote!

The first transfer window opens next Friday (I will put the form in my profile tomorrow)

And now back to the show

(Location- Francis's room)

The team is now in Francis's trying to help him revive. The team then see's Francis's hand moving. Suyapa is getting exited as Francis starts to open his eye.

"Where am I" Francis asked Suyapa

Purgatory, if the author’s madness and repeating of plot is to make any sense.

"You are in your room in the guild. Orion is the one who brought you here. Gengar really made you unconscious for a while." Suyapa said to Francis

"Thank you Orion" Francis said

"Not a problem at all. It was my pleasure" Orion said

"So who won the battle?" Francis asked Orion

Here’s a hint, Francis; it wasn’t you.

"No Contest" Joey said walking into the room

" Thank you my friends" Francis said

"No problem" The team said

Blacksterops1025: That's all for today!

My review score for Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explores of Sky: 35/40

You said you would do that review “tomorrow”, why can’t you ever stick to your own plans?

There should be enough sanity left in me for the next chapter, let’s get to it.

Chapter 5: What is in store for this story?

Blacksterops1025: This is not a chapter. This is a coming up chapter for the story.

You need to work on you definitions, pal. I have yet to hear anyone go, “This isn’t a murder, it’s a death by murder.”

Here is what you can expect in the story: I do not own any thing!

Next week:

1) Gengar returns and injures Francis the Snivy

Attached Image

2) It's a battle for Kavi to regain his memories (Kavi VS Rose, with Suyapa holding a hammer)

I’m not sure if the author knows what he’s implying, or if he’s bonkers like usual.

3) Game Reviews for the games Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explores of Sky, Soul Caliber 5, and FIFA 12

You’ve been mentioning FIFA 12 in your last three fanfics, I think you might have a slight obsession, author.

4) Transfer Window Opens- The window opens next Friday and ends at the conclusion of chapter 10

Other Plans

1) Sad ending?- Who knows

It’s already pretty sad, quality-wise. But if you don’t know, why have it listed under your plans?

2) There might be blood in the next chapter (Next Friday)

3) Game Previews segment

4) Erase Gengar's memories?- I might be heading this way if you want me too

I doubt it’ll make him stop hunting Francis; it might as well be his nature by now.

5) There are 5 parts to this story

6) I might make this into a video game

It’s not that I doubt you could, author, it’s that- pfft, hah, no, I totally do.

7) Battle against Darkrai

8) Battle against Dialga

9) Battle against Uxie- Uxie joins our team

10) The final battle against Gengar, Darkrai, and Dialga

Why is anyone reading your stories, author? Please, I want to know; how are you able to maintain an audience at all?

That's all for now.

I will see you next Friday. Enjoy the Super bowl!

If you have questions about my plans, please PM using the subject " Questions about plans" and your question, and I shall respond by Friday of next week.

I have a question actually. Are you going to stick to those plans, or are you going to drop them like your mother did you in infancy?


This story is slowly turning into my personal hell. Francis is knocked unconscious by Gengar, his friends does some meaningless shit, he wakes up, rinse fucking repeat. The only thing that’s consistently different is the author’s game reviews, and yet those are still atrocious. And the way he simply abandons his plans halfway through the story, he must have some screwed up ideas of how you’re supposed to write an actual story. Sixty more chapters of this – augh!

"So... preparing to storm into the room, you jostle your badger, kick down the door, and throw it at the thug standing inside." - Moment from my D&D campaign.

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Post #5


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post Jul 10 2016, 05:27 PM
Maybe we should just let Microsoft Sam read the entire fanfic. This shit could at least be worth a few laughs.

"That's like coating your dick in honey and humping a hornet's nest."
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Post #6

Critically Sarcastic

Group: Members
Posts: 522
Joined: 10-June 12
From: Denmark
Member No.: 660
Gender: Male

post Jul 16 2016, 10:02 AM
Another chapter, another cavalcade of miserable, incomprehensible failure. Enjoy.


Chapter 6: Kavi VS Rose, Francis Beaten Up Badly!

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to this next chapter of the story "Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Mystery of Francis". In this chapter, Kavi battles Rose, but the battle is interrupted by Gengar poisoning Francis (Francis faints again!).

Well, it’s more creative than hammering his biological snooze button again. But why should that interrupt the battle between two other people?

This is also the first day of the transfer window, so please submit your special teams to include in the story. There will be no game reviews until Sunday because of tonight's late chapter update.

There will be no snarky comment to this, because I have to go make myself a sandwich as I write this, and thus the window of opportunity will be gone forever. Why do you insist on having such crippling deadlines, author?

Here we go, and without further delay:

Team Angeles: Blacksterops1025 does not own anything you are reading in any of the chapters.

Warnings: Blood Chances:

Francis the Snivy: 100%

You can’t even leave your audience guessing, can you?

(Location- Angeles Guild- 3rd floor battle room)

The team and spectators heads into the battle room to watch a friendly battle featuring Kavi and Rose. The team is very excited since both Kavi and Rose are now Servines. The team is about 2 minutes away from watching the battle. Joey heads out on the battle field to announce the rules.

"I welcome you all to Angeles guild, home of team Angeles led by Francis the Snivy" Joey said as the crowd cheered.

Francis leads the team?! How? He’s been back for what can’t be more than a day, and for all that time he’s been either unconscious or stricken with amnesia. Who is the irresponsible buffoon that put this injury liability in position of team leader?!

The crowd holds up their signs showing support for both Kavi and Rose, but some of the signs said "No Gengar Please!" and "Francis deserves not to faint".

Attached Image

Francis’ entire world is populated by nothing but passive, non-reactive, faceless empathizers supplying nothing but useless pity and baseless compassion for the protagonist to wallow in, as he suffers for a reasonless and all but inexistent cause. It’s the literary version of sending “Get Well” cards to yourself.

"At this time, please rise for the two combatants for today's friendly match" Joey began

"First, this Servine is so cute and is very nice. She knows who loves roses. She is now in love with Kavi, and a possibility that she could also be in love with Francis. At this time, please welcome Ms. Rose the Snivy" Joey announced

Because keeping the name “the Snivy” when you’re now a Servine is not at all confusing or anything.

Rose comes out from her locker room wearing a red cap to make sure that Kavi and she are different.

"Last, but not least, he is a teammate. He lost his memory recently and wants to fight Rose to get his memory back. At this time, please welcome, Kavi the Servine" Joey announced

The crowd cheers for Kavi to come out and battle Rose. Kavi is wearing a blue cap.

Why not have them wear sports jerseys like Francis and Suyapa? Or have you forgotten that fact, since they haven’t been mentioned since the first chapter, author?

"Ok, you two. Please head to the center. You know the rules and the regulations of this battle. If there is an interruption during this battle, even if either of you faints, I will call this a "no contest" call. Good luck you two" Joey said as he allowed Kavi and Rose to wish each other good luck.

"Clock operator, may I have 5 minutes on the clock please" Joey said to Frank the Chimchar who is the clock operator.

"Of course my friend" Frank said

Oh man, Frank, what happened to you? You used to be a reporter, now you’re stuck in this dead-end job?

The crowd cheers as the battle is underway with Rose getting the first move.

(Battle Format- 4:59 left in the battle)

Oh no, the author is timing this. You’ll understand my gripe in a bit.

Rose uses Leaf Blade

Rose runs toward Kavi. Rose jumps up and extends her tail like a blade, but Kavi rejects the move by using Energy ball. The attacks hit each other and both players took damage, but Rose takes more damage.

"Kavi has taken the lead by 20 damage" Joey announced

Kavi uses Energy Ball

Kavi runs at Rose while forming a ball from his tail. He forms the ball and holds it in his hands. Rose tries to steal the ball, but Kavi guessed right and hits Rose. Kavi leads by 50 damage.

(Battle- 3:00 left in the battle)

You read that right, folks. A single exchange of attacks took two minutes. Even though it probably only took you twenty seconds to read what happened. This is the second time I’ve seen this stupidity from this author. My only thought is that the author is timing how long it takes for him to write the fight scene, as opposed to any logical progression of time in the narrative. For all intents, the speed of the action should be more compressed than the speed at which you read it, yet this story makes this...

Attached Image

…last longer than it takes for me to walk to the bathroom, take a piss, and come back again. What kind of sense does that make?!

Rose uses Leaf Blade

Rose runs at Kavi while jumping up. Rose extends her tail. Kavi tries to dodge, but had a flashback of the time that they helped Francis defeat Darkrai in part 1 of the battle

Why does this happen now, and not the first time she used the attack?

Flashback of Kavi and Rose from the story "The Adventure of a Lifetime (Chapter 11) "

Kavi uses Leaf Blade.

Just like Francis, Kavi also runs toward Darkrai and jumps. He extends his tail like a blade and deals 20 damage to Darkrai, putting him down to 280 Hp.

(Time on Device: 34.4 seconds remaining)

Rose uses Leaf Storm

Rose jumps up and spawns leafs toward Darkrai and strikes him and deals 20 damage putting him down to 260 Hp

(Time on Device: 0 seconds left)

Flashback Ends at this point

Well, thank you, author. You’ve just copy-pasted the exact moment I mentioned earlier about your use of time dilation. But why the hell would Kavi be remembering this by getting attacked, when he was the one to use the move in his memory, not the one receiving it?

Kavi was distracted enough that he got hit by Rose and took 60 damage.

"Rose has taken the lead by 10 damage. It is now time for the 2 minute warning" Joey announced

Which should become the 1½ minute warning from Joey just saying it, by this story’s bat-shit logic.

(Location- Same Area- Audience area)

The fans were cheering for the two combatants as they took a break for the two minute warning period. Joey was examining the last play where Rose deals 60 damage to Rose. He spots a purple shadow as Kavi got hit. He then noticed a cup in the shadows hands. He also noticed that the shadow put something purple inside what looks like water.

Why the hell would Gengar be poisoning a cup here of all places? As far as we know, Francis is nowhere near this fight.

(Location- Kavi's Locker Room)

Kavi received a notice on his FAS that Francis fainted, but he questions that because Francis did not even enter this battle. He tries to find out why Francis fainted, and he found out that it was poison. Kavi runs toward Joey to issue a poison alert.

And not directly to Francis to help him out or make sure he doesn’t get hurt further. Even when the system works as intended, it’s still used by morons.

(Location- Rose's locker Room)

Rose also got the same FAS alert that Kavi got. She was still questioning how Francis got poisoned.

(Location- Battle Field)

The fans were still cheering for both Kavi and Rose as they ran to the field, but what the audience got was a huge change in the schedule as Joey announced something that makes the crowd boo someone familiar.

At this point, you’re not trying to pull wool over our eyes, author. You’re trying to gouge our eyes out while loudly proclaiming the identity of the culprit via anything but name.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I have received word that Francis fainted sometime during the battle; however, he was not even battling. During my viewing of the replay, I saw a purple shadow entering the battlefield and putting something purple in a water cup. I am officially calling this battle as No contest" Joey announced

Francis fainting was unrelated to the fucking fight. He’s not even one of the combatants, you can just postpone the match until you’ve helped him out, you mouth-breathing dumbass!

The crowd boos as they see the exact same purple shadow that Joey just announced. The crowd holds up their signs. The crowd knows that it was Gengar who entered the stadium. They also see Francis being carried out of the stadium.

(Location- Outside Angeles Guild)

Gengar was looking for a empty spot making sure that no one will find him. He found a empty parking lot with a lot of cars.

The fact that you don’t understand what the word “empty” means, author, says something about how empty headed you are.

Gengar uses Drain Punch on Francis while unconscious (this will for sure not end well)

(Location- 3rd floor)

The audience, including team Angeles hears a car alarm from outside. Everyone heads outside to check what is going on.

You mean you didn’t follow Gengar, as you watched him drag Francis’ unconscious ass out of the arena? What will it take for you to get a fucking clue?!

(Location- Angeles Guild Parking lot)

The team hears shouting from Gengar and the team does not like what they see. They saw Gengar beating Francis up badly. The teams (there are 8 soccer teams which include team Angeles) try to help Francis, but Gengar attacks everyone he sees. Gengar made 92% of the teams faint, leaving Suyapa, Kavi, and 1 member of team Charm by themselves.

Man, Gengar is a beast! Why haven’t anyone gone into a panic at the first sighting of the guy?

Gengar attacks Milo the Thyphosion of team Charm with Shadow ball.

Milo tried to dodge, but he got hit from behind and he fainted.

Kavi tries to help, but Gengar attacks him using Shadow Punch and makes Kavi faint for his first time, leaving Suyapa defenseless and speechless at what happens next to his lover.

With the author using the wrong gender pronoun, this implies that Kavi is Francis’ lover. Although, with how Joey hyped up Rose’s feelings for Francis, this could just be an unconscious attempt from the author to have another character pining for his protagonist.

(Location- Same Area- Francis's area)

Gengar kept on attacking Francis while unconscious. He keeps using Shadow Ball to push Francis to a wall. Gengar holds up the unconscious Francis while flinging him toward a building. Francis gets thrown toward the three floors building hitting the wood. Suyapa tries to catch Francis falling down, but Gengar hits Suyapa to prevent her from saving Francis from a lot of pain. Francis's right leg hits the ground hard as he landed on the cement. Francis started bleeding severely.

Attached Image

(Cliffhanger time)

Suyapa: FRANCIS NO!...

(End of Cliffhanger time- Now shall we see what is next on the story?)

Disappointment – it’s never anything else.

Sunday or Next Friday: Francis fainted and is now in a lot of pain. Who will step up for the injured hero? Find out. There is also the Transfer window that opened today. Here are the Special teams OC Form.

(Team Name)

Pokemon + Name

Pokemon+ Name

Pokemon+ Name

Pokemon+ Name

All work and no play makes Jack wish he could plead insanity, once he murders the bitch who wrote this crap!

Which floor would you like? Pick a number from 1 to 30

Is your team specialized in dungeons/rescue missions or in Soccer games?

How about specializing in giving a fuck about the protagonist’s issues and apprehending the violent criminal currently at large?

Any Pairings?

Who do you want to save more? Francis the Snivy or Suyapa the Pikachu?

So it’s either plague or cholera, then? Can I abstain?

What’s that, didn’t get enough senseless nonsense yet? Let’s take another chapter then.

Chapter 7: Francis Beaten Up Badly Again!

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to this installment of my story "Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Mystery of Francis". In this chapter, Francis revives, but faints again after Gengar breaks into the hospital.

At this point, the Grinch faced more resistance when he stole Christmas, than Gengar is getting from these incompetent twats.

We also have some new characters debuting soon. Suyapa also has a plan for revenge, and we have a brand new guild as well. Here we go, and as always..

Tram Angeles: Blacksterops1025 does not own anything in the chapters you are reading.

But what about the ones I’m not reading right now? Does he own anything in them?

(Location- Angeles Guild Parking Lot Area- 10 minutes after Francis was attacked while unconscious)

The teams members finally revives from fainting, but they see Francis still unconscious, and bleeding. The teams are now in "the huddle" to see what they are going to do.

"We have to get him to the hospital fast" Terry of team Charm said

"I have to agree with him" Suyapa of team Angeles said

And you needed a huddle to decide this? You needed to reach a consensus for helping out the guy that’s lying bleeding on the ground? Are you all fucking insane?!

"Let's do this" All the teams said as they called in a helicopter to take Francis to the hospital.

(Location- I 21 North to PKMN MC- 10 minutes to destination)

The team is now on the freeway heading to the Pokemon Medical Center in downtown. The team checks on the teams bank account from a computer they found. The team decides to withdraw 1,000 poke dollars from the account.

They already stole the computer, so buying some hard drugs on the way seems like the next logical step.

(Location- Angeles Guild- Bank room)

Orion checks his computer and sees that the team needs 1,000 poke dollars. He also reads that the team needs the money because Francis fainted and was attacked while unconscious. Orion knew that the team needed the money, so he transfers the money to the team.

Francis is going to put the guild in debt by the end of the fucking week.

(Location- PKMN MC- 1st floor)

The team has arrived at the medical center and took Francis in for a x-ray. The team tells the nearby nurse what happened. The nurse puts Francis as a patient and takes him to a x-ray room. The nurse also tells the team that they have to wait for the results of the X-ray.

"I know you want to follow Francis here, but you guys have to wait." The nurse said to the teams

Why are we constantly told of the events just prior to them happening? The story is already redundant enough with Francis’ repeated injuring, we don’t need fractal storytelling!

"I hope it's good news" Suyapa said

"Me too" Joey of team charm said

Maybe it’s just me, but I feel that to consider the victim’s survival as quote-unquote ‘good news’ kind of diminishes the horribleness of their experience. Sure, you’re glad to know they’re going to be okay, I’m not implying anything different, but they were fucking savaged by a thug – that’s anything but good.

(10:08 PM)

The nurse has returned to the waiting room to deliver the results. Everyone rises up as if they are at a Los Angeles Clippers Game to cheer for the Clippers.

Why, author? Just why?

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I have good news, and bad news" the nurse said

"What is the good news"? Suyapa asked

"The good news is that Francis will be ok and should survive from this" the nurse said

Death has once more been denied Francis; he shall never escape his endless torment.

"What is the bad news?" Joey said

"The bad news is that Francis has both legs injured, both arms injured, right hand injured, and his neck is injured." The Nurse sadly said

A papercut is an injury, author. You need to be more specific if you want to convince us of their severity.

The team was shocked to hear how many injures Francis had. The team tries to ask the nurse for visitation rights and hours, but was denied on the spot. The team was upset, until the Nurse said that they could visit Francis.

"Ok, I will let you visit Francis as long as you want. I will also allow you guys to protect him from Gengar" the nurse said.

Wow, thank you, Nurse Flip-Flop! Don’t call the police or anything, just let the thirty plus Pokémon that Gengar already defeated have a mulligan on Francis’ account.

The team was filled with delight as they left for the day.

(The next day- 7AM)

The nurse walks in to Francis's room to see if he is still unconscious from the attacks 2 days ago.

Attached Image

The nurse also tells team Angeles that Francis is still unconscious and can't be visited until further notice by talking to them on the phone.

Court room like scene ahead!

I refuse to believe it will have anything to do with Gengar being held accountable for his crimes.

The following players have sent their "special teams" for the story. The special teams will be used in case the main team has an injured or inactive player (I.e. Francis the Snivy is injured and unconscious, therefore will be temporarily taken out off the leader spot, until he is cleared to rejoin the team.)

He should be considered the temporary member, since he’s going to be out of commission for handfuls of chapters at a time.


Team Blade

Edge the Bisharp

Aurora the Serperior

Slash the Gallade


Team Honor:

Phyrrus the Charmander
Lunar the Squirtle
Angel the Nidorina

Just so you know, I’m not the one messing with the line breaks. I make an effort to replicate the author’s work “as is”.

(Location- Angeles Guild- "Court room")

The team and special teams has entered their "courtroom" on the third floor.

Everything seems to be on the third floor – bedrooms, battle field, and now a courtroom too?

The judge (Joey the Riolu) has started the case.

"We are here this morning to decide who should be the temporary leader for this team. As you all know, Francis is injured and unconscious, so he can't return until further notice. You may all sit down." Joey said as he also sat down with the gravel near him.

Why he kept a bucket of rocks and stone in the courtroom was anybody’s guess.

Blacksterops1025: Here are the nominees for temporary leader: Bold= Acquired player from transfer window)

Kavi the Servine- Team Angeles

Frank the Chimchar- Team Victory

Suyapa the Pikachu- Team Angeles

Orion the Growlithe- Team Angeles

Rio the Riolu- Team Angeles

Edge the Bisharp- Team Angeles (Special Team Player)

Because who is better to lead your team in your leader’s absence than a completely unaffiliated candidate from Team Victory?

"Let's have our fist nominee come out" Joey said

Suyapa heads to the stand to tell why she should be the leader for the time being.

Questioner: Kat the Snivy

Questioner sounds like a bootleg version of the Riddler. Yes, I know it’s an actual word, but so is Joker, cut me a break.

Kat takes her spot ready to ask questions to Suyapa.

"Suyapa, you are a wonderful girl, but why should you be the leader for the time being?" Kat asked Suyapa

“I don’t have a giant target that says ‘protagonist’ painted on my back.”

"I should be leader because Francis is my closest friend that I had for years. He always saves me from fainting.." Suyapa said before Ken the Gligar called for the first objection.

"Objection!" Ken yelled out

"Over ruled!" Joey said. "Suyapa, please continue" Joey said as Suyapa continued her speech.

Color me skeptical, but I don’t think the author actually knows how a court proceeding works, or when one is appropriate.

"As I was saying, Francis always saves me from fainting every time Gengar attempts to attack me." Suyapa said

(Meanwhile in the hospital- Francis's room)

Francis is in the bed starting to revive from the attacks he received form Gengar. The nurse walks in unknown to her that Francis was being watched from a hidden camera under Francis's pillow.

And I’m sure there’s a microphone hidden in the fucking radio, it’ll be just as effective for surveillance.

"Francis, you ok?" the nurse said

"yes mam, I am" Francis said

Something hits the glass window and the object hits Francis's head and knocks him unconscious again. The shadow revealed itself as Gengar.

Author, you are killing me here. Your story is a cavalcade of misery and pity, yet you write comedic timing like a goddamn genius.

"We have a break in on the third floor! Please proceed to the third floor now!" The announcer said as the nurses rush all the patients (including Francis) out of the hospital to safety, however, Francis was not as lucky.

So, he wasn’t rushed out of the hospital, even though you just told us that’s what happened? What?

"You shall be defeated my rival! You will never ever see your friends again!" Gengar said as he attacks Francis while unconscious again. Gengar attacks Francis with Shadow Ball and hits Francis on the arm. Francis was launched off from the bed to the hard concrete below. Francis is starting to bleed again. The nurse decides to tell team Angeles about the incident.

Yeah, so much for allowing them to protect Francis, only for them to spend time squabbling about who is to replace him.

(Location- Angeles Guild- Court room)

The team has just finished Suyapa's, and Kavi's bargain for being a leader when they received an alert.

"We have Francis reinjured in the hospital. Please come right away!" The nurse said to the team using the FAS that Francis left on his hospital bed.

And now it functions as a phone too. I bet the only thing that watch doesn’t do is tell time.

The team heads straight to the hospital.

Blacksterops1025: That's it for tonight, I shall update again tomorrow!

Were it only that I had faith you could even discern the time of day, author.


Geez, if it continues on like this, Gengar is going to steal the entire show. And that’s somehow a good thing. Seeing the lengths he goes to in order to hurt Francis borders on hilarity.

"So... preparing to storm into the room, you jostle your badger, kick down the door, and throw it at the thug standing inside." - Moment from my D&D campaign.

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Post #7

Critically Sarcastic

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Member No.: 660
Gender: Male

post Jul 20 2016, 03:46 PM
Here comes another chapter of this mess. I’d tell you what happens, but if I did that, I would probably be describing every single chapter that came before it. Francis is injured and unconscious, he gets better, then he’s injured again, over and over – a dead horse that’s dragged to new locations before being beaten again. Enjoy.


Chapter 8: New Rival Emerges & Suyapa Saves Francis

Too little, too late, wouldn’t you say?

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to the next chapter of my story "Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Mystery of Francis" In this chapter, Gengar has some friends of his, also, we also will be debuting the special team of Commander- Vipe. There will be no game reviews for a while.

Did you have your video game privileges revoked, or did you finally realize what platform you’re writing for?

And now without further delay…

Team Angeles & Friends: Blacksterops1025 does not own anything you are reading in any of the chapters you are reading.

(Location- PKMN MC- Francis's room)

Teams Charm, Angeles, and Elegant Wonders have arrived at the medical center to see what happened to the injured and unconscious Francis. The team is shocked to find out that Francis is bleeding on the floor.

I think you misspelled “completely unsurprised”.

"We must help him" George the Hunter from team Charm said

"I agree" said Viktor the Serperior from team Angeles said

The teams now lift Francis up onto a helicopter to take him back to the new team guild in John Marshall High School (The area has 3 buildings which is enough for the next 4 parts of the story.)

Sure, don’t let him stay in the hospital for medical treatment or anything. Wait, new guild?

(Location- John Marshall High School Guild- Main Building- Floor 1B- Room 150)

The team is now at their new guild. Team Angeles went straight to Room 150 to treat Francis for his injures, while The Royals & the Heirs goes to room 151 & 152 respectively.

Author, why do you have Pokémon squat in a high school? Your high school, if I’m not severely misjudging your cringe-worthy lack of talent.

(Room 150)

Team Angeles is now treating Francis for his injures. The team is also wondering about who attacked Francis. They turned on the news to find out that Gengar was behind the attack on Francis. The news also mentions that another pokemon is also behind the attack.

How come the news are more informed than the story itself is? There was no fucking hint that Gengar had an accomplice.

The team is now worried about the future.

"I'm worried" Suyapa said

"Me too" Kavi said

It’s like a narration gag that died three fucking years ago, and it just keeps repeating!

" If the second pokemon is a fire type, we are screwed" Suyapa said

The teams aggress to what Suyapa just said. They decide to call a nurse to inspect Francis. Suyapa talks to the nurse on the phone

Is this going to be a school nurse, or is Ms. Flip-Flop going to hitch a ride on a random helicopter as well?

(Room 151)

The Royals (Commander- Vipe's 1st team) is now hoping that Francis is ok in the next room.

They waited until this very moment to do so.

Natasha is now talking with the rest of the group.

"What do you think we should do" Natasha said

"I think we should team up with Francis & friends in the Battle of Gengar (Latter in part 1)" Ivanna said

"Agreed" Every one said

The group decides to sleep for the night as it is already 1 Am in the morning.

So, is this high school actually used by students and teachers, or can we safely assume that the author has no idea what he’s doing?

(Room 150)

Team Angeles hears the door knock and Suyapa answers the door. The nurse walks in and sees the team worried.

"Hello team Angeles. I am Nurse Karla the Emolga. I am here to check up on Francis the Snivy" Nurse Karla said

“Judging from the trail of blood leading in here from half across town, I don’t plan on staying long.”

"Please, right this way" Suyapa said

The team leads Nurse Kala to Francis's bed. Karla can't believe what she saw.

"He is bleeding badly at this point, and his legs, arms, right hand, and neck is injured" Karla said sadly

Remind me again why they abducted him from the hospital?

The team was shocked. The team cheers on Francis.

Oh, right, because they are all idiots!

(The Next Morning)

Everyone woke up to the sound of a machine beeping. The team notices that the beeping came from a machine that Karla used to monitor Francis's heart rate, bleeding, and other medical things. Suyapa asks some medical questions.

" I have a question. Is there a medical term for Francis fainted?" Suyapa asked

Why are you asking; did the health insurance company start getting suspicious?

"Well, there is a term for fainting, and it is a syncope" Nurse Karla said

"I see. What is the beeping from the machine for?" Suyapa asked

"It is a machine that monitors a person's heart rate and other medical things. If the beeping is constant, then in this case Francis is alive and well, but if the line on the machine is flat, then the person dies on the spot" Nurse Karla said

“No matter how many times the patient tells you they’re fine – if the equipment tells you they’re dead, they’re dead.”

"Wow, that is a lot of information to keep watch of" Suyapa commented

" I agree. I will tell you all that Francis will not die from his injuries, and blood loss he has sustained over the last few days" Nurse Karla said

He’s an eighteen pound critter that’s been through more abuse than a birthday piñata – but, no, the status of protagonist preserves his continued existence.

"Thank you for the good news" the team said

"There is bad news too. Francis will not be able to battle, therefore, I decided to have Orion, Suyapa, and Kavi to be the temporary leaders for the team.

"Thank you" The team said

Did- did the nurse just pick Francis’ replacements? And the team thanked her for it?!

(Location- Outside JMHS Guild)

Gengar and an unidentified pokemon is hiding near the window of room 150. Gengar tells the unidentified pokemon to attack Francis. The pokemon agrees and peeks through the window seeing Francis unconscious on a bed while his teammates are around him. The pokemon then attacks using Flamethrower.

(Room 150)

The team sees a Flamethrower attack heading for Francis. Francis was sure to get hit until Suyapa took the attack to save her best friend. Kavi sees that Gengar and a Ninetales have appeared in the room.

And now that the motivation-deprived bullies have shown up in the classroom, this story starts to appear more and more like a retelling of the author’s own experiences.

"I told you all to stay out of my way!" Gengar said to the team while moving toward an unconscious Francis.

"I told you that Francis shall not be harmed!" Suyapa said defending Francis

Neither of you did any such thing!

"Now, say goodbye to your precious friend!" Gengar & Ninetales yelled wile aiming a Flamethrower & Shadow Ball attack at Francis.

Suyapa runs in front of Francis to save Francis from an attack.

"Suyapa, No!" Team Angeles yelled as Suyapa got hit

No, no, it’s fine, just keep standing there, don’t stop the rampaging antagonists, it’s totally cool.

"NEVER COUNT ME OUT GENGAR!" Suyapa yelled as she struggles to get up from the attack….

Blacksterops1025: This is just part 1 of a long battle that will take us to the end of part 1. What will happen next? Will Suyapa, Orion, Kavi & company help to save Francis? You have to wait and see! Until, tomorrow ladies and gentlemen!

This chapter was brought to you by Pokemon Ice cream!

Attached Image

I swear, half the time, I’m almost convinced the author is an alien with no understanding of human concepts. The other half of the time, I’m fully convinced of it.

Let’s take another chapter while we’re at it, just to get our double dose of insanity.

Chapter 9: The 1st Battle & A New Surprise Develops

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to the next chapter of my story "Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Mystery of Francis" In this chapter, we continue with the battle against Gengar and Ninetales.

Well, it would be stupid to forget that you had it start. You haven’t done it yet, but one day, author – one day…

There will be an official battle with this one (Timer, Hp, and commentators).The battle will have 3 parts to it, including the final battle at Gengar mountain. I also have a surprise OC that I put in this chapter (part of my special team)

Aha, that’s nice, do you want to back up and tell us how Gengar has a mountain named after him?

Without further delay..

Team Angeles & company: Blacksterops1025 does not own anything you read in any of the chapters.

(Location- Room 150 battle site)

Orion, Suyapa, and Kavi prepare to battle Gengar & Ninetales in room 150.

The rest of the team gives fuck all, and the nurse is probably no help either.

"The battle between team Angeles & team Mean Ones is about to begin. Both teams have 10 minutes to battle each other until all members of one team faints and are unable to continue. There is also a 2 technical foul rule where if one player from a team gets 2 technical fouls, the match is over" Joey said as he took his spot.

Attached Image

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. This is not a battle, duel, or match. This is a bunch of Pokémon defending their friend from vicious attackers. The rules do not matter, especially when the villains never fucking follow them anyway!

"We shall protect Francis, and defeat Gengar once and for all!" Suyapa yelled

"We shall see about that" Gengar & Ninetales said

The team hears the scoreboard turning on signaling the start of the battle. The scoreboard had Team Mean Ones as the away team, and Team Angeles as the home team. It also had the timer at 10:00 and both teams had no fouls. It also had the members of each team.

Why don’t you just have a snack vendor distribute food to the rest of the team watching, while you’re at it?

"We have conducted a coin toss back stage and Suyapa of Team Angeles goes first. Battle begins now!" Joey said as the timer started to run.

(Battle format - 1st half)

Suyapa uses Volt Tackle

Suyapa runs toward Gengar as her body flashed yellow. She strikes Gengar hard.

"Team Angeles takes the lead by 30 damage points" Joey announced

So, this is my life now. Mocking the insipid stupidity of having murderous assault in a Pokémon fanfic be written like sports, complete with commentary and boring battle sequences. I mean, I’ve been here before, but I keep ending up here is my point.

Kavi uses Energy Ball

Kavi forms a ball from his tail. Suyapa sees Gengar moving and she holds on to him until Kavi hits Gengar.

Kavi high- fives Suyapa for an incredible combo. Gengar was ready for a big move.

Gengar uses an unidentified attack

Gengar jumps up in the air while glaring at Suyapa. Suyapa can't stop staring at Gengar as Gengar controlled Suyapa's body and attacked her until she (for the first time) faints.

Ah, I was wondering when someone would use the move Bullshit.

Joey went straight to the spot as he put a paw out in front of Gengar signaling a penalty. Joey also announces a technical foul.

"Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please. Suyapa fainted and is unable to battle, however, technical foul on Gengar for using an unknown move. Kavi gets to use the free attack.

Why doesn’t Gengar just tell you what his move is, then? Foul averted.

"Suyapa, this is for you" Kavi said to himself as he got ready for the free attack

Kavi uses Energy Ball

Kavi launched a Energy Ball and aimed in between Gengar and Ninetales.

"Team Angeles leads by 60 points" Joey announced

Now it feels like entire lines of the combat are missing. Which means there is less of it, fortunately. It also makes less sense, but it’s not like it had any to begin with.

(Team Mean Ones take a full time out- 5 minutes left in the battle)

Team Angeles decides to have Orion replace Suyapa. The team agrees to the decision.

(Substitution on the field)

Suyapa Orion

Orion Suyapa

Fuck You

You Fuck

Ninetales uses Flamethrower

Ninetales opens his mouth and aims for Kavi, but Orion blocks the attack by using his own Flamethrower and deals damage to both Ninetales & Gengar.

(30 seconds left)

"As of this point, Team Angeles has the lead by 120 points" Joey announced

“However much sense you want to draw from that is your own business.”

Gengar prepares his ultimate move of Shadow Ball

Gengar forms a ball with his hands and ties to hit Kavi, but Orion puts his paws up as a defensive posture preventing a good look for Gengar. Ninetales tries to knock Orion out of the way, but Orion jumps and the Shadow Ball attack stops.

"That's it. The winner of this battle is Team Angeles" Joey announced

Gengar is going to attack Francis while they celebrate, isn’t he?

Kavi, and Orion help to revive Suyapa and tell her about the battle.

Gengar was mad enough to make him attack an unconscious Francis.

Every fucking time. When the hell will someone restrain the maniac?

Gengar prepares for a Shadow Ball attack. Orion goes straight to defending the attack from hitting Francis. Gengar goes around and launches an attack toward Francis and hits him ( at least he taught it was Francis the Snivy, but it was not)

"Francis NO!" team Angeles yelled, but what they heard next was about to test their knowledge of who's who

I don’t think anyone has any knowledge, of any kind, in this fanfic.

"Hi team Angeles" A voice said

"Who said that?" Kavi said

"It's me Francis" Francis said

Attached Image

"Wait a second, Francis; you are unconscious at this point…." Suyapa said as he was cut off by Francis

"I think you are referring to Francis the Snivy (My character). I am another Francis, Francis the Buizel (1 member of my special team) and I am his friend." Francis the Buizel said

"I'm sorry if the attack hit you" Suyapa said

"No, it's ok girl. You know, it's not every day you see a Buizel known as the same name as the main hero yo" Francis the Buizel said

Are you fucking shitting me? Are you implying that all of Francis’ friends have been sharing the room with a fucking Buizel this entire time, and only by the grace of the story omitting to directly refer to Francis as a Snivy has this not been noticed until now?! ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY INSANE?!

Blacksterops1025: I didn't think you saw another Francis come in. There are actually 3 more members of my special team all named Francis.

How fucking egotistical can you get?

I have a challenge as part of a review; think of nicknames for Francis the Buizel. Francis the Snivy's nickname is "The Unconscious Hero". It's just like Jeremy Lin of the New York Knicks whose nickname is "Linsanity"

Oh, I’ll nickname them all. We have “Contrived”, “Useless”, “Nonsense”, “Ridiculous”, and “The-one-skinsuit-that-this-fuckhead-of-an-author-didn’t-think-was-enough-to-contain-his-masochistic-ego”.

That's all for tonight. See you tomorrow!


As if the story wasn’t utterly stupid to begin with, now it has the audacity to try to be cheeky as well. If all five of the author’s self-inserts shows up at once, I might just put my head through a wall.

"So... preparing to storm into the room, you jostle your badger, kick down the door, and throw it at the thug standing inside." - Moment from my D&D campaign.

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Post #8

Critically Sarcastic

Group: Members
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post Jul 23 2016, 04:19 PM
Gengar bad. Francis dumb. Mock good. Enjoy.


Chapter 10: Gengar's Revenge

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to chapter 10 of my story "Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Mystery of Francis". In this chapter, Gengar looks for revenge after loosing a battle to team Angeles. He gets revenge in the weirdest way.

Okay, you have me intrigued now, author. Anything weird by your standards has to be truly aberrant.

There is no game review, but I am proud that today I got a academic achievement award.

This would put you at a minimum at college age while writing this, correct? They let people with this kind of literary grasp get academic awards?

Here we go, and without further delay..

Team Angeles: Blacksterops1025 does not own anything you are reading in any of the chapters you are reading.

(Location- Room 150- Francis (the Snivy) is still unconscious)

I’m more concerned with where the bastard could be right now? With the Buizel bait-and-switch last chapter, he’s evidently not in the room with them.

Team Angeles has just won the battle against Gengar. Gengar leaves the area, and the team cleans up. Suyapa talks to Francis the Buizel to learn more information about him.

"So, you are Francis" Suyapa said

"Yes girl, I am" Francis said

"Are you a brother of his?" Suyapa asked

"Yes mam, I am" Francis said

Brother?! Where the fuck did you get that idea? They’re not even the same species!

"You did a good deed my friend, you saved your brother" Suyapa said to Francis

"Yes mam, that's how he and I roll these days" Francis said

"I see" Suyapa said

I bet this namesake OC is just here, so the author can be both a cool dude and a pathetic wretch at the same time in his story.

The team decides to check on Francis (the Snivy) to see if he is ok. The team see's Karla holding a medical instrument that the team does not know about at this point. The team asks Karla about this tool.

"What is that you are holding?" Suyapa asked

"It is called a needle. This needle helps me give Francis a shot to fight his illness and blood loss. If I don't give him the shot, then he will still be unconscious for a really long time" Karla said

I’m not sure I can act surprised enough, that these morons don’t know what a medical needle is, to convince anyone that I had the expectations of the opposite.

"So, if you give him a shot, then he will get better" Suyapa said to clarify what Karla said

"Yes, that is right" Karla said

The team is now enjoying the fact that Francis will get better soon, however, Gengar was watching from a camera that was hidden in the room.

"We shall see about that" Gengar said as quietly as he can so that the team cant hear

How does Gengar manage to plant all these cameras? Does he do it ahead of time, knowing in advance where Francis will be? I can’t imagine he’d plant them while Francis is there, because then he’d just beat the guy up on the spot.

(The next day- 10 AM)

The next day starts normal (breakfast, check on Francis the Snivy). The team then hears a voice that they wanted to listen to for a long time.

"Where am I?" Francis (the Snivy) said

"Francis is awake everyone, please go see him now" Karla clears the team to see Francis revive in a few days

What is it with you and time, author? Seriously, what?!

The team rushes over to Francis's bed to talk to him.

"Hey bro, it's me" Francis (the Buizel) said

"Hey man, it's a blessing that you're here to see me" Francis (the Snivy) said

"I taught you were going to be uncon (short for unconscious) for a long time" Francis (the Buizel) said

"Me too bro" Francis (the Snivy) said

Attached Image

Look at you, author. Talking to yourself, having your secondary self-insert use hip lingo, and tag on a bullshit fraternal relationship between them. I’d laugh if it wasn’t so fucking pitiful, coming from you.

The team celebrates the fact that Francis revived (Unfortunately, it only lasted 5 minutes)

Way to keep us in suspense.

(Location- Room 151)

Ivanna from the royals was helping with a briefing for the day.

"Listen up pokemon" Ivanna began

You can call them “guys”, “people”, or “team”, you know. I don’t go to a crowd and call out, “Alright, listen up all you human beings!”

"We have heard that Francis has revived…"

Ivanna was interrupted when a bomb went off in the other room.

(Room 150)

Team Angeles was talking to Francis when all of a sudden a hidden bomb went off and exploded just 5 yards away from Francis's location. The team helps each other before the room gets destroyed.

Why did Gengar even attack them last chapter, when he had live explosives hidden in the room? When will anything happening in this story make sense?!

"We have to move now!" Suyapa yelled to everyone

(Room 151)

Ivanna was listening to Suyapa's yelling and decided to order all pokemon out of the rooms.

"Let's move out pokemon! Ivanna yelled so loud that the other teams can hear

(Room 152)

The Heirs (Commander- Vipe's 2nd special team) heard about the explosion and quickly moved out.

Because hearing about the explosion, and not hearing the explosion itself two rooms away, is totally how they should become aware of it.

"Let's move pokemon!" Ania the Snivy said as she and the rest of the group got to run out of the building

(Location- Outside the main building)

All of the pokemon that were inside the building are now outside waiting for news on what happened. Everyone see's Francis (the Snivy, and the Buizel) come out from the building. Gengar was just outside and appeared in front of team Angeles. Everyone who was watching started booing Gengar.

"Boo!" The fans of both Francis's said

This is like watching the Last Alliance of Elves and Men confronting Sauron in civil protest! Fucking attack the poké-terrorist already!

Gengar starts attacking everyone he sees. All of a sudden, it became a disaster for a certain Snivy.

"So, you have a bro huh" Gengar said to Francis

"I think you should get yourself outa here" Francis said to Gengar

"What if I give you a cookie, will you be nice to me?" Gengar asked Francis

"NEVER!" Team Angeles said

Which is worse – that Gengar attempted this kindergarten level pact, or that it was taken seriously by the protagonists?

"So, you refuse the cookie, now you will get this as a punishment!" Gengar yelled as he took out a cookie from a wrapper

"A cookie as a punishment, you got to be crazy" Francis said

It was too late for Francis to refuse after Gengar attacks Francis with Shadow Ball.

I refuse to even acknowledge what is going on right now.

Gengar is being defended by Orion & Edge , but in the end, Gengar matches up to the two and attacks Francis on the head. Francis faints on contact or FFOC for short.

"FRANCIS NO!" Suyapa yelled so loud that the nearby crowd started booing Gengar as if this was a basketball or soccer game.

And the fact that you don’t see how ridiculous it is yourself, author, makes me fucking weep.

Suyapa was about to witness the real power of Gengar.

"Hey you! Yes you!" Gengar yells at Suyapa to try to attract her attention away from the unconscious Francis.

"GENGAR, YOU SHALL PAY!" Suyapa screamed loud so that everyone can hear.

The nearby crowd cheers Suyapa on.

"Let's go Su-ya-pa" The crowd cheered

Gengar was mad at the crowd's reaction, so mad that he decided to try to put Francis in another coma and lock him up inside a dungeon.

Attached Image

What is Gengar’s motivation for doing this? Why does he have any consideration for what the crowd thinks of him? Of all the incomprehensible things in your stories, author, what makes the least sense is why Gengar, or anyone else, is out to get Francis!

Gengar uses Poison Gas on everyone. Gengar produces a poisonous gas that poisons everyone who breathes it in. About 95.9 percent of the crowd got poisoned, including Francis the Buizel.

"Hey man, you smell weird" Francis the Buizel said to Gengar

"Quiet!" Gengar yelled and without letting anyone see him, he grabbed the unconscious Francis, and took him straight to a 40 floor dungeon.

(Location-" Dungeon 1"(name to be determined)

Oh yeah, don’t you guys remember all the times we received these messages in popular fiction? Harry Potter fought He-Who-Will-Be-Named-Later, Frodo and Sam climbed the slopes of Mountain Undefined, and George Orwell taught us the horrors of future dystopia in his book “Ca. 1980-ish”.

Gengar puts Francis on a trap door and makes sure no one is around. Gengar puts a explosive device on Francis' s neck and activates the door. Francis drops about 15,000 feet below ground level and lands in floor 40 of the dungeon. The doors leading to floor 40 locks as Gengar presses the "lock away" button…

Oh, how’s this for a name then? Francis’ fucking tomb! You can’t expect us to believe he survived that.

Blacksterops1025: We will see you again tomorrow!

As much as I would like to postpone it, the madness must continue. On to the next chapter we go.

Chapter 11: Gengar VS Team Angeles Battle Looms

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to chapter 11 of my story "Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Mystery of Francis" In this chapter, we have team Angeles teaming up with the Royals, and the Heirs to save Francis (the Snivy) from Gengar. There are no game reviews until after part 1. Here we go, without further delay ….

He writes before proceeding with multiple delays.

Team Angeles: Blacksterops1025 does not own anything in the chapters you are reading!

Warnings in chapter 11:

Blood chances

Francis the Snivy: 100%

Memory loss chances

Francis the Snivy: 5.23% (Don't let the low number fool you)

I didn’t know it was possible, but somehow the author is playing Russian roulette with Chekov’s gun. You don’t mention this kind of shit unless it’s actually relevant, and yet the author is such a nitwit, that it might not even happen regardless of his starting intentions.

(Location- Guild- About to enter dungeon)

Team Angeles is about to enter the underground dungeon. The team all of a sudden hears a lot of pain from below.

(Location- 40th floor of dungeon)

"HELP ME!" Francis yells as he is being attacked by a enraged Gengar.

I swear, if the author wasn’t putting his name on this character, you’d think he was a sadist. Not that this level of masochism is healthy either.

"Once I put this in your mouth, you shall be in a bit of pain" Gengar said as he put a pill of some type into Francis's mouth

(Location- 13th floor of dungeon)

Team Angeles is getting started with their journey in the dungeon, when they hear a Snivy yelling for help from their FAS. The team knows that they have to hurry. The team finds a lift that leads to the 40th floor. They were in for a big surprise.

What’s the point of a forty floor dungeon, if there’s a fucking lift that takes you right to the bottom of it?

(Location- 40th floor)

Team Angeles has arrived at the 40th floor only to find Francis( the Snivy) unconscious on the ground. They also find out that Francis is bleeding badly. Suyapa knows how this happened.

I guess Gengar isn’t the only one who hides cameras in other people’s rooms.

"GENGAR, SHOW YOURSELF THIS INSTANT!" Suyapa yelled and Gengar appears

"Who calls me?" Gengar says as he appears

"GENGAR, YOU PAY!" Suyapa said as she used a Thunder Bolt attack on Gengar

"Yeah- Yeah, in your dreams" Gengar mocks Suyapa as Suyapa misses the attack on Gengar

It’s like Gengar is the only one in this crazy world, who actually sees these incompetent fools for what they really are.

Gengar looks at the unconscious Francis as he battles Suyapa. Suyapa stares at Gengar with anger.

"You have anger issues girl" Gengar taunts Suyapa as he stares at the unconscious Francis.

The team hears a slight cry in distance as Francis starts to revive. Suyapa runs over to Francis, but Gengar attacks Suyapa before she could reach Francis. Gengar attacks Francis on the arm to make him unconscious for a second time. Team Angeles just can't wait to end Gengar.

Which is why they’re standing on the sidelines, while Suyapa is the only one to attack him. Do you ever try to make sense, author?

(Location- 50th floor)

Team Wonders hears fighting on the 40th floor. They received a message on their message system telling them that Francis (the Snivy) is unconscious and need urgent medical attention. The team goes back up to the 40th floor to help their fallen friend.

When did Team Wonders decide to delve into this suddenly-bigger-than-before dungeon?

The other teams connected to team Angeles, received the exact same message.

"Sorry about no treasure for today" Joey of team Wonders says to Terry after showing him the alert.

'The treasure can wait. Francis is our friend, and he needs help right now" Terry said as all the team members went to the lift to go to the 40th floor.

(Location- 40th floor)

Author, these location announcements are only helpful to people, who don’t read anything that came before them.

All teams connected to team Angeles has arrived on the 40th floor of the dungeon to see what happened. They could not believe what they found.

"Francis is severely injured. He is bleeding everywhere" Joey said

For how often this happens, you’d think they’d be less disbelieving.

"I agree" Terry said

"Hey people of LA, sorry to interrupt the moment yo, but I got a goal.." Henry said as he got interrupted by a mad Terry

"I said Francis fainted, not Francis got a goal in soccer!" Terry yelled in Henry's face

Attached Image

I have no fucking clue what the author is even trying to write here. I mean – do you?! Even professional psychological profilers would scratch their heads at this mess, and cryptologists would beg him for fucking lessons in incomprehensibility.

Henry the Charmander (Team Wonders) is one of those guys who ruin a moment of silence with the words "I got a goal". This is referring to a soccer game he has on his phone. He is a great soccer player for team wonders. He scores around 5.7 goals per game (GPG), and averages around 5.8 assists per season(APS).

As if we didn’t already have enough morons in this story, now we have someone who’s intentionally an idiot.

"Let me enjoy my goal man" Henry said to Terry

"You can do that when Francis is not unconscious. At this point, he is, so please, no goals right now" Terry said.

"Alright" Henry said as he puts his phone in his pocket.

"Boys shall be boys" Suyapa said

"Oh yes Suyapa" Terry said as he looked at an unconscious Francis

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?" Gengar asked while yelling to get everyone's attention

Why is the villain the only character I can empathize with?

"ITS YOU GENGAR. YOUI ARE THE PROBLEM!" Suyapa yelled as everyone suddenly attacked Gengar

All the team members of each team attacked Gengar one by one. Gengar attacked those he saw and made 97.89% of the teams faint. Kavi, Orion, Kat, and Suyapa were the last 4 conscious enough to make a battle. Kat made the announcement that she will be the referee of the battle.

If I had ten years, it would still not be enough for me to explain just how asinine this one paragraph is. Shoddy strategy, shoddy math, and shoddy logic for putting one member of the party in a position to rule the outcome of the fight. No amount of drugs could fuel this brain hemorrhaging train of thought.

"I shall be the one with the whistle and the flag(I will be a referee)" Kat said as she took her spot.

"The battle between Team Angeles and Gengar is about to begin. Each team(except for Gengar) is allowed 2 substitutions .I will add a "don't attack an unconscious pokemon" rule, meaning there will be an automatic technical foul if you attack an unconscious pokemon (for example: Francis the Snivy).

Time and time again, this has been the only way they have ever beaten Gengar. By disqualification due to technicality. Does the author even know that villains can actually be beaten in a straight up fight?!

Alright, let's get this party started" Kat said as she dropped her offside flag to signal the start of a battle.

Team Angeles decides to go at it 2 on 1 in this battle, meaning Suyapa and Orion battle now.

"We did a coin toss back stage, and Team Angeles have decided to go first….

Okay, I want to know this now, author. If they did a coin toss, why are one of the teams deciding who goes first?

Blacksterops1025: With the battle about to begin, what will happen? You have to wait and see. Until tomorrow America!

You’re short by about four thousand miles, buddy. Remember, there is a world outside the moronic landscape in which you hallucinate your personal torture porn.


This story keeps spinning its wheels. Is there even a point to the whole amnesia plot anymore? Nothing new ever happens in this story; it’s all just a continuous battle against Gengar’s dickishness.

"So... preparing to storm into the room, you jostle your badger, kick down the door, and throw it at the thug standing inside." - Moment from my D&D campaign.

Click here for more mocks: List O' Mocks
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Shillin' Best Girl from Fire Emblem: Echoes

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post Jul 24 2016, 08:01 PM
Does the author give us a reason for Gengar's attacks on Francis (the Snivy), asides from 'He's the bad guy'?

List of mocks can be found here: Here

QUOTE (AnItalianGuy @ May 27 2016, 02:03 AM) *
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
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Post #10

You're a kid now, you're into weird shit now, you're

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post Jul 26 2016, 02:24 PM
Good to see you back. I actually have a theory why he doesn't just write a narrative and only a narrative: He knows his fanfic's bad and as a result, tries to distract his readers with his knowledge of other languages and his opinions of videogames. Good lock with the sporking!

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post Jul 27 2016, 02:31 PM
QUOTE (SquidKid @ Jul 27 2016, 12:24 AM) *
Good to see you back. I actually have a theory why he doesn't just write a narrative and only a narrative: He knows his fanfic's bad and as a result, tries to distract his readers with his knowledge of other languages and his opinions of videogames. Good lock with the sporking!

"Try" being the key word. This wankstain knows nothing about linguistics or video games.

This post has been edited by MisterMD: Jul 27 2016, 02:31 PM

"That's like coating your dick in honey and humping a hornet's nest."
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Critically Sarcastic

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post Jul 29 2016, 12:10 PM
QUOTE (GorillaGamer @ Jul 25 2016, 06:01 AM) *
Does the author give us a reason for Gengar's attacks on Francis (the Snivy), asides from 'He's the bad guy'?

He hasn't yet, through three stories of the exact same make. I doubt he ever will. One of life's great mysteries, this one.

QUOTE (SquidKid @ Jul 27 2016, 12:24 AM) *
He knows his fanfic's bad and as a result, tries to distract his readers with his knowledge of other languages and his opinions of videogames.

As much as that would explain it, I doubt the author possesses enough self-awareness to both recognize his own failures and even consider the act of obfuscation. And as MisterMD points out, his inability to do either effectively would merely amplify his failure.

We’re moving steadily onwards. This time around, we get a proper battle against the main antagonist. Well, “proper” wouldn’t be the way to describe anything in this story, but at least something is actually being done to cull the destructive whims of Gengar – however pitiful the gesture is. Enjoy.


Chapter 12: Gengar VS Team Angeles Part 1

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to the next chapter of "Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Mystery of Francis". In this chapter, we have part 1 of 4 of the battle against Gengar.

We’re in for four chapters of constant fighting? This is going to suck.

Game On! Here we go, and without further delay…

Team Angeles: Blacksterops1025 does not own anything you are reading in any of the chapters you are reading.

(Location- 40th floor of dungeon)

Team Angeles is about to battle with Gengar. Suyapa and Orion take their spots to battle first. Kat tells everyone that Team Angeles won the coin toss backstage.

I wonder if the author thinks that warring armies do coin tosses too, to see who gets to fire their artillery first.

"Since team Angeles won the coin toss, they get to go first" Kat said as she dropped the offside flag to signal the start of the battle. The scoreboard reads 10 minutes to battle.

(Battle Format- first 5 minutes)

Suyapa uses Electro Ball

Suyapa runs toward Gengar and forms a thunder ball from her tail. She launches the ball and hits Gengar. Gengar takes 20 damage.

"Team Angeles takes the lead by 20 points" Kat announced

Why does the author need to tag a redundant point system on top of the damage count?

Orion uses Flamethrower

Orion makes sure that Suyapa is out of the way before he opens his mouth. Orion runs forward to attack Gengar. Orion opens his mouth and a large line of fire forms from his mouth, and heads toward Gengar. Gengar jumps to avoid the first flame, but Orion shots out another flame to hit Gengar. Gengar takes 40 damage.

That sounds deceptively like two Ember attacks rather than a single Flamethrower. Just about everything about this story is unreliable.

"Team Angeles leads by 60 points" Kat announced

Gengar uses Shadow Punch

Gengar runs toward Suyapa to uses Shadow Punch, but Orion steps in front of the attack to take it, and draw a charging foul.

"Gengar has a charging foul violation, that's his first foul of the game, and the points of Gengar will not count due to a turnover foul. Team Angeles has a free attack to use" Kat announces

Attached Image

Gengar gets penalized for hitting an opponent he wasn’t aiming for? His opponents can effectively force fouls onto him, by merely being an obstruction to his violence? This battle of brawn and strategy is going to be decided by nonsense rules and technicalities, isn’t it? What rose-tinted, sugar-sweet, wimpy-ass reality has this author constructed for himself?!

Suyapa steps up and takes her spot.

Suyapa uses Electro Ball

Suyapa forms a ball from her tail and launches it at Gengar. Gengar took 50 damage.

"Team Angeles has a lead of 110 points. Gengar decides to take a timeout" Kat announces

Did Gengar decided that, or did Kat decide that for him?

Team Angeles decides to talk with each other about who should stay in, and go out from the battle.

"What do you guys think? Should I come in?" Kavi asked the team

"Suyapa should leave, and you come in. She needs a rest" Orion said

Suyapa attacked twice, wasn’t hurt, and probably stood still when not attacking – yet she needs a rest? If I owned a sports team, where a player had that much chronic fatigue, I wouldn’t just fire them; I would ask for them to be hospitalized.

"I agree, what about Francis (the Buizel)?" Kavi asked

"He can come in at the next time out" Orion said

"Ok, its settled" Kavi said

Kat comes over to go over the substitution changes. She goes back to her spot and announces the changes with her electronic board.

Do these things just appear out of thin air, or do they haul it around with them?

"Changes on the field, number 12 (Suyapa) exits, and number 18 (Kavi) enters the battle" Kat announces

Suyapa high- fives Kavi as she sits on the floor, while Kavi comes in.

Gengar uses Shadow Ball

Gengar forms a ball that is colored purple from his paws and tries to hit Suyapa, but Orion runs over to defend the attack by putting his paws in the air as a defending move. Gengar decides to use Drain Punch on Orion, but Orion see's it coming, and dodges the attack. Suyapa uses Volt Tackle on Gengar to hit him. Gengar takes 40 damage and is losing badly.

And this is the same Gengar that took out eight soccer teams in a parking lot on his own? Really?!

"Team Angeles is leading by 150 points" Kat announced

Team Angeles is excited about this lead, but a small change was coming.

(Skip to changes)

"Changes on the field, Francis the Buizel comes in for Orion" Kat announced

It’s not the main character, but now the author can pretend that his self-inserts are actually doing something in this story.

Francis uses Water Gun

Francis quickly moves forward as he opens his mouth to shoot out water. Gengar dodges the attack and does something that we all seen before. Gengar uses Drain Punch on Francis (who is defenseless) until all his energy is drained from him, but Gengar keeps attacking Francis while he is unconscious. Kat tries to break up Gengar and Francis from each other. Kavi runs over and helps, nut Gengar pushes him back. Kat raises her offside flag to signal a restart.

Attached Image

What is it about the name Francis that immediately makes the person utterly incompetent and villains impossibly cruel and effective at bodily harm? What’s the point of having this secondary self-insert, if he’s just going to end up as another pain magnet? What the hell is wrong with this author?!

"Ladies and Gentlemen, your attention please. Francis is unconscious, and is unable to battle, however, offside's, and a technical foul charged to Gengar. That is his 2nd foul of the game. Team Angeles grabs a free attack. Team Angeles still leads by 150 and could end it here" Kat announces

Orion comes back for team Angeles

Why did they even switch him out for Francis in the first place?

Orion will avenge Francis by using Flamethrower

Orion forms a straight fire flame and hits Gengar. Gengar takes 50 damage.

"Team Angeles leads by 200 points" Kat announces

Gengar secretly goes back stage and turns on a machine that sucks both Francis brothers back stage into the machine.

Well, it is his dungeon after all, but why did they all just stand there and let him do it?

(Cliffhanger time)

Suyapa: FRANCIS NOO!...

Author, are you even aware that you’re turning your own self-insert into a fucking punchline?

(End cliffhanger time- now a look at what is coming up on next Friday's chapter)

Blacksterops1025: What is this mysterious machine? What does it do to the Francis brothers? Will it be a nightmare for Team Angeles? Find out…

For all we know, it’s just a really big vacuum. I mean, you have to keep your dungeon clean somehow.


Or right now, if you aren’t suffering from idiocy induced seizures yet. Here comes another chapter.

Chapter 13: Gengar VS Team Angeles Part 2

Blacksterops1025: Welcome back to this edition of "Pokemon mystery Dungeon: Mystery of Francis" In this chapter, we continue the battle against Gengar. This part 2 of 4 of the battle. There is also a machine mystery to solve here too.

The only mystery here is the one in the title, namely why Francis sucks so hard.

Here we go, and without further delay…

Team Angeles: Blacksterops1025 does not own anything in any of the chapters you are reading!

(Location- Dungeon-Battle continues)

The team has just witnessed a machine that just sucked both Francis brothers out of the battle. Gengar presses a red button.

Funny, I’ve been pressing nothing but red buttons for the last half-hour. Are my eyes bleeding?

(Location- Inside the machine)

Francis the Snivy hears a beeping noise from his neck. He figured out that the device Gengar put on him was a bomb. Francis the Buizel risks attacking his brother to save him.

"Bro, I got to do this yo" Francis the Buizel said

"I know. Even if you make me faint, I won't blame you" Francis the Snivy said

How are they both conscious again?

Francis (the Buizel) used Aqua Jet

Francis (the Buizel) starts to form a water type of a protection. Francis (the Snivy) stood still as he took the attack. The bomb deactivated as Francis the Snivy fainted from the attack. Francis the Buizel helps to revive his bro as the battle with Gengar continues.

(Location- Dungeon battlefield)

Battle Reset

Team Angeles is on a 200 to 0 point run

What the fuck does the word “reset” mean to this author?

On the Field



Players that fainted (last chapter)

Francis the Buizel

On the Bench

Viktor the Serperior (Commander- Vipe's OC)

Ania the Snivy

And I bet none of them are going to do anything about the Poké-snatching machine. If only there was a car alarm inside it, then maybe they’d investigate where their abducted team members went.

"Let the battle continue" Kat announced as Kavi got to launch the next move

Kavi uses Leaf Blade

Kavi jumps toward Gengar as he extends his tail like a blade to attack, but Gengar grabs Kavi's tail to stop the attack. Gengar hurls Kavi toward Orion. Orion was about to get hit until a voice is heard.

"Orion, move out of the way!" Francis the Snivy said

Look guys, here comes Mr. Martyr, just in time to get hurt.

Orion moves out of the way of Francis. Orion just witnessed that Francis saved him by taking the attack.

"Francis, thank you" Orion said

Shouldn’t there be some kind of rule against outside interference? Why are the rules solely in favor of Francis’ team?

Kavi was surprised that Francis was conscious to battle. Kavi decides to tell Kat to put Francis in and Orion to the bench. Kat agrees while thanking Francis for an heroic effort.

"Changes on the field, Francis (#11) comes in for Orion (#18). Thank you Francis for saving Orion from the attack" Kat announced

"It…was my…." Francis tried to say, but was interrupted when he felt dizzy, and felt faint (weak).

You don’t say? Could it be that, a) he just came back from being knocked unconscious, b) he was just bludgeoned with Kavi by Gengar, or c) this is the constant state at which his consciousness hovers, as per the author’s dictate?

The team sees Francis about to faint. Orion runs toward Francis before Francis fainted. Orion catches Francis and puts him on the bench. Orion decides to go in the battle for Francis.

"Kat, may I…" Orion was cut off by Kat

"Yes you may. Changes on the field, Orion comes in for Francis the Snivy" Kat announced

What was the fucking point of the switch before then?!

Orion uses Flamethrower

Orion gets ready to form a flame from his mouth. He then runs toward Gengar to attack. Gengar tries to counter with Shadow ball. The Shadow Ball attack that Gengar formed from his paws was rejected by Orion's Flamethrower attack. Orion attacks Gengar and deals 40 points of damage.

"Team Angeles leads by 240 points" Kat announces

Why not just tell us how much Hp Gengar has left, instead of showing us this arbitrary points bullshit?

Gengar uses Shadow Ball

Gengar forms a ball from his paws. Orion sees this and knocks the ball out of the play area and explodes with Gengar taking at least 10 points of damage.

"Team Angeles leads by 250 points" Kat announced

Gengar uses Life Drain

It feels like that’s all this story is using on me.

Gengar launches a needle and aims it toward Francis the Snivy. Francis gets hit. Gengar tries to suck the life out of Francis the Snivy, but Gengar is called for a incorrect player violation ( a violation called if a attacker attacks a defender that is not active on the field. The attack will count, but the damage drops by 30 points. The foul will also award the defending team a free attack.)

Attached Image

You would see more coherent narratives, and more fair play, when broken home kindergartners express their feelings with action figures. For fuck’s sake, how long can this author continue to draw out this repetitive schlock?

"Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please, Gengar has been charged with a incorrect player violation. The last moved used by Gengar will count. Orion will use the free attack" Kat announced

Gengar sucks 10 points of damage from Francis the Snivy.

"Team Angeles is on a 240 to 10 point run" Kat announced

The only tension in this fight, is how many times the author will make asspulls for no discernable reason.

Orion uses Flamethrower

Orion fires a flamethrower attack at Gengar, and deals 60 points of damage.

"Team Angeles is now on a 300 to 0 point run*" Kat announces

*A run is when a team scores constantly, and doesn't lose a lead that fast*

Sure, but can’t you at least allow Gengar to still have points on the fucking scoreboard, you petulant child?

Blacksterops1025: Team Angeles is now on a point rampage. What will happen next? You will just have find out….


Nah, let’s put more effort into this than the author did and take another chapter again.

Chapter 14: Gengar VS Team Angeles Battle Finalie

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to chapter 14 of the story "Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Mystery of Francis" In this chapter, we have parts 3 and four of the battle with Gengar.

Why have it be four parts, when you’re only spending three chapters on it? Seriously, what is your malfunction?

I also will do a side story on Francis the Snivy. It is a one shot on how Francis the Snivy became a hero.

Could you possibly show us, that he still is one?

He becomes a hero when he saves Suyapa the Pikachu from an attack that could have killed Suyapa. The side story will be one of seven that I will do as part of this story.

Unfortunately, the author did in fact write these side stories. Well, six of them, anyway. He left them in a separate fanfic, which I might go over to mocking once I’m done trudging through this pain.

Here we go, and without further delay….

Team Angeles: Blacksterops1025 does not own anything in any of the chapters you are reading.

(Location- Dungeon of John Marshall)

I don’t think the fourth Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States, John Marshall, ever wanted a dungeon to be named after him. I don’t even think the author knows who the man was.

Flashback from Chapter 13(the ending)

Gengar uses Life Drain

Oh no, not another copy-paste job?

Gengar launches a needle and aims it toward Francis the Snivy. Francis gets hit. Gengartriesto suck the life out of Francis the Snivy, but Gengar is called for a incorrect player violation ( a violation called if a attacker attacks a defender that isnotactive on the field. The attack will count, but the damage drops by 30 points. The foul will also award the defending team a free attack.)

"Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please, Gengar has been charged with a incorrect player violation. The last moved used by Gengarwillcount. Orion will use the free attack" Kat announced

Gengar sucks 10 points of damage from Francis the Snivy.

"Team Angeles is on a 240 to 10 point run" Kat announced

Orion uses Flamethrower

Orion fires a flamethrower attack at Gengar, and deals 60 points of damage.

"Team Angeles is now on a 300 to 0 point run" Kat announces

Flashback ends

I can understand that someone would want to use a flashback in a sixty-five chapter long story, but not when the flashback is just a text-grab from the previous chapter. How fucking obnoxious would it be, if movies replayed previous scenes ad nauseam without so much as adding a sepia filter for effect?!

Team Angeles has just witnessed Francis the Snivy fainting on the field, so they decided to have one of their new players to battle against Gengar. The team tells Kat that they will do a double switch.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, your attention please, Viktor the Serperior and Aurora the Serperior comes in for Kavi and Orion respectively" Kat announces

Wait, there’s an audience watching this? At the almost bottom of a dungeon, 15,000 feet below ground?!

Aurora uses Leaf Blade

Aurora slithers her way to Gengar while getting ready to attack.

She also slithers her way into this battle, because she wasn’t mentioned to be one of the players on the bench in the previous chapter.

Gengar tries to use Shadow Ball, but Viktor says "Oh no you don't" by knocking the ball out of Gengar's hands. Aurora swings her tail like a blade to attack Gengar. Gengar takes 50 points of damage.

"Team Angeles is on a 350 to 0 point run" Kat announces

Gengar presses a red button.

Are you talking about the same red button as before, or an unrelated red button that doesn’t lead to immediate harm threatening the protagonist?

A beeping noise is heard near the bench area. The bomb on Francis the Snivy's neck has reactivated. Francis's bro decides to try to attack his on brother to deactivate the bomb. Francis the Snivy revives in time to see a bomb attached to his neck. He throws the bomb toward Gengar, and the bomb explodes on impact. The bomb deals 100 damage points to Gengar.

If it was so easy to remove, then why didn’t they do that in the first place?!

"Team Angeles is on a…" Kat tried to say as she was interrupted by a mad Gengar.

"That is a technical foul on Francis the Snivy! Why did you not call that?" Gengar asked in an evil way

Is Gengar able to talk in any other way than evil?

"That's because it's not a technical foul on Francis, it's a technical foul on you!" Kat yells as she gives Gengar his second of three technical fouls

"Ladies and Gentlemen, your attention please, Team Angeles is on a 450 to 0 point run, however, Gengar has been charged with a technical foul. That is his second technical, and one more and Gengar is automatically ejected. Viktor gets a free attack (unless taken out for changes)" Kat announces

If I was Gengar, I’d keep getting technical fouls, so that this bullshit battle would be over that much sooner, and people would leave Francis undefended while they celebrate. And maybe I’m saying this, because that’s exactly what keeps happening.

(Team Angeles takes a time out- They have 2 left)

The team decides to have both Francis brothers enter the match. The team talks about why it is a good idea.

It isn’t. They fucking suck, both of them.

"Why do you want me and my bro to enter da match" Francis the Buizel asked

"I want both of you to enter so Francis the Snivy can be healed" The revived Suyapa said

"I see" Francis the Buizel said

And I don’t. Less than fifty feet away from Gengar is about the last place Francis wants to receive medical attention.

"Changes on the field, Viktor and Aurora exits, while the Francis brothers enter" Kat announces
The Francis brothers tell Kat about using the teams sacrifice one, save one power play. Kat makes the play official.

"Team Angeles have decided to use their sacrifice one, save one power play as well as deliver the free attack" Kat announces

Francis the Buizel uses Healing Wish

And the reason they couldn’t just use health restorative items, while he was on the bench, is what, exactly?

Francis the Buizel forms green lights around Francis the Snivy and the rest of the team, and red light around himself. Francis the Snivy feels a lot better, as well as the rest of the team and the team recover, however, Francis the Buizel sacrificed himself to save the team.

Great, now Francis is that much closer to being Jesus. At least Christianity kept it to a trinity, we’re told that there’s still three more of Francis somewhere out there.

"Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please, Francis the Buizel is unconscious, and is unable to battle. Team Angeles still has a free attack to use before making changes to the lineup" Kat announces

Francis the Snivy uses a new move "Close Combat"

Francis moves closes as he delivers a lot of hard punches toward Gengar. Gengar takes 50 damage points each punch (50 X 5= 250 points of damage to Gengar).

First off, Snivy can’t learn Close Combat, so that’s the author cheating right there. Second, Gengar is a Ghost type, so the move shouldn’t be damaging him in the first place. Why did I ever expect he could even get his source material right, when nothing he ever writes is correct?

"Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 days of hard battling, Gengar is unable to battle, and Team Angeles wins this battle" Kat announces as she goes and revives Francis the Buizel.

Wow, they didn’t win on a technicality this time? The author must have been in an unusually good mood when writing this. Everything up until this has been nothing but pure self-loathing.

(Location- JHMS Guild)

The team is now above ground and looking at the sunset after a hard fought battle. The Francis brothers are talking about taking a vacation with the team.

"Hey bro, thank you for saving me" Francis the Snivy said

"No problem" Francis the Buizel said

“Kat just waved her magic wand and I was fine. Why she didn’t use it on you, I don’t know.”

"What to do after today, how about a vacation to Las Vegas?" Francis the Snivy asked

"That would be.. LOOK OUT!"Francis the Buizel yelled as an unknown attack hits Francis the Snivy on the head

Couldn’t even make it last past five lines, could you, author? Oh well, I figure that if you didn’t have this outlet, you’d probably go to self-flagellation.

The rest of the team hears an attack not far from where they were viewing the sunset. The team investigates. They found Francis the Snivy unconscious near a written note. The team reads the note.

"I got ya now boy. You will never see your friends again. You won't even remember your friends again…. " The note was cut short

You know, this abduction note would probably be more ominous, if it wasn’t addressed to the victim the writer forgot to actually kidnap.

"OH NO, IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS?" The team asks each other

Blacksterops1025: Who wrote this note, and what could Francis have to do with it? Part two is coming. Stay tuned. Oh, and if you have any guesses, then please feel free to PM me.

I have some thoughts, but they’re all in the vague shape of my middle finger, aimed in your general direction.

Part two of the story begins…


Fuck that. Three chapters is more than enough for one sitting, let alone more than several days straight.


So, Gengar was finally knocked down a peg, but I doubt he’s out of this yet. The author keeps using the same handful of villains in his stories, so expect Gengar to be back soon. As for who left the note, if it’s not Gengar again, my bets are on Darkrai. It’s like the only two villains that have any kind of agency in this author’s stories.

"So... preparing to storm into the room, you jostle your badger, kick down the door, and throw it at the thug standing inside." - Moment from my D&D campaign.

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Post #13

Critically Sarcastic

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post Aug 5 2016, 02:37 PM
It kind of annoys me how the author can’t just let the story have low points. For more than ten chapters now, it’s all been one long string of events, where Francis has been in constant peril. Meanwhile, his friends have been attempting to save him, whenever they didn’t have their heads up their asses. Would it hurt to just have them do something else for a change? Apparently it would, because even with their latest victory, trouble still follows Francis. Dumb, stupid, and inexplicable trouble. Enjoy.


Chapter 15: Part Two Introduction

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to the introduction for part 2 of "Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Mystery of Francis. Here is what you can expect in the next 30 chapters. I do not own anything

Least of all a clue. Why would you try to make thirty chapters of your story completely unsurprising – intentionally, I mean.


Francis brothers (The Snivy, and The Buizel)

Kat the Snivy

Rose the Snivy

Kavi the Servine

Ania the Snivy and The Royals and the heirs

Suyapa the Pikachu

Edge the Bisharp

Aurora the Serperior

All of whom we’ve seen already, so what’s the point?


Angeles, CA

a) E3 gamers Show

b) LA Gamers game

2. Las Vegas, NV

a) Hotel

b) Battle of Darkrai

(Plots and Events)

Events? Like half of the things you just subcategorized under the places above?

1. This Just In: Francis the Snivy has his memory erased by the unknown force (Next Fridays chapter)

Back to square fucking one, I guess. And it’s pointless really, because all he’s losing is the memory of pain from Gengar’s constant attacks. He’s better off, all things considered.

2. Suyapa proposes to Francis at E3 2012 (Electronic Entertainment Expo in Downtown LA) Real Life: From June 7th to 9th, Story life: Next Saturday's chapter.

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3. Darkrai Battle

4. Comic con costume playing

5. Rose confesses her love to Kavi

Them sucking face wasn’t enough of a confession?

(Game Reviews)

I will review the games that I have played

No shit, will you also post chapters that you’ve written?

(Game Previews)

Pokemon Black and White 2

Resident Evil: operation Raccoon City

Blacksterops1025: That's what you can expect for the next 30 chapters.

Aside from your inclusion of E3 and Comic-Con, and your complete failure to preserve the surprise of a marriage proposal, there was nothing really new here. All I know is that the next thirty chapters are still going to suck.

The 1st chapter of part 2 is next Friday. Stay tuned

I still have no idea why the author decided to make his story have parts instead of just making sequel fanfics, but I guess there’s no point to question utter madness. Let’s move on.

Chapter 16: Francis's Memory is Gone!

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to the 1st chapter of part two for "Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Mystery of Francis". In this chapter, Huston, We have a problem! Francis's memory is gone, duhhh!

I don’t believe he got it back since the last time he lost it. So how is this a problem?

Here we go, and as always…

Team Angeles: Blacksterops1025 does not own anything in any of the chapters you are reading!

(Location- Outside of the Dungeon- 9PM- after the battle with Gengar)

Flashback from end of part 1

Are all these flashback-prone authors just utterly unaware that people have long term memory?

"That would be.. LOOK OUT!"Francis the Buizel yelled as an unknown attack hits Francis the Snivy on the head

The rest of the team hears an attack not far from where they were viewing the sunset. The team investigates. They found Francis the Snivy unconscious near a written note. The team reads the note.

"I got ya now boy. You will never see your friends again. You won't even remember your friends again…. " The note was cut short

"OH NO, IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS?" The team asks each other

If they already have an idea of who the culprit could be, does this mean this is a common event?

Flashback ends

The team has just finished battling Gengar, when Francis the Snivy was attacked all of a sudden. The team takes Francis to the medical center.

(Location- Downtown LA Medical Center)

The team has arrived at the medical center to have Francis examined. The nurse takes Francis in to the medical room. The team waits for the news. Suyapa is getting worried for Francis.

I have the oddest sense of déjà-we’ve-already-fucking-been-here-vu.

"I hope he is ok" Suyapa said to the team

The nurse all of a sudden walks up to the team.

"Allright! Francis will not lose his memory, and will survive!" Suyapa said only to have her guess changed slightly

"Well, you are correct in terms of him surviving, so I will give you credit for that. I have bad news however. Francis lost his memory, therefore, Suyapa, you are 1 for 2(50%)" the nurse said

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Why the hell did Suyapa just do that? What about the nurse walking their way indicated any of that to her? What kind of fuck-wit thinks this is logical behavior?

The team was shocked, and confused at what the nurse said. The team was shocked about Francis losing his memory, and confused about Suyapa being 1 of 2. The team asked about the "1 of 2".

"I have a question. What do you mean by Suyapa being 1 of 2" Kat asked the nurse

"Suyapa is 1 of 2 in terms of what I am going to say" The nurse said

" I got it now" Kat said

It’s the same as saying she was half-correct – the narrative of Teletubbies would be like complex astrophysics to these cretins!

(Location- JHMS Guild)

The team heads to the guild to investigate on why Francis lost his memory. The team draws some clues from the note. Suyapa puts the guess of the name of Uxie. The team does not agree at the time Suyapa made her guess.

Because Uxie can wipe people’s memories? Why even go there, when Francis already got amnesia from getting hit on the head before?

"I bet it was Uxie" Suyapa said

"I don't know" Orion said

"I agree" Kat said

I, too, agree that Orion doesn’t know.

The team looks at Kat to see if she really knows if Uxie did it. Kat explains how she knows.

"Ok people, Uxie had to erase Francis's memory because of the myth" Kat said

"What is that myth?" Suyapa said

"The myth is not to look into Uxie's eyes, or he/she will erase your memory…." Kat was cut off by Suyapa, who wants to add to her guess total

"…completely" Suyapa tries to fill in the blank

So, if we’re meant to take this ludicrous theory seriously, Uxie attacked unprovoked, hit Francis #1 on the head, did Arceus knows what to Francis#2, then forcibly made the no doubt unconscious Snivy look into their eyes to erase his memory, wrote that nonsensical note, then took off, presumably while kidnapping Francis #2 since he doesn’t seem to be around – all in the time between the others hearing the attack and until arriving at the scene?

Author, is there possibly some medicine you’ve forgotten to take?

"Correct, you are now 2 of 3(66%) for your guesses" Kat said

"No way!" Suyapa yelled

Yeah, no way anyone thinks this percentage bullshit has a point.

The team is shocked that Francis's memory is erased completely…..

Blacksterops1025: That's it for chapter 1 of part 2 of this story. Now here is what's in store for Fridays chapter

Is it anything that hasn’t been made blatantly obvious already?

On Friday: With the new problem on team Angeles, how will they help Francis recover his memories? (There is a big surprise in our next chapter). We also have romance with Kavi X Rose, Francis X Suyapa, and a surprise pairling that I will reveal in the next chapter. Have a good week, and from the cast and crew of this show, I thank you for reading. We shall see you…


Actually, since these two chapters were so short, we’re moving right on to the next one.

Chapter 17: Saving Francis at E3 Part 1

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to chapter 17 (Chapter 2 of part 2) of the story "Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: The Mystery of Francis" In this chapter, Francis presents Suyapa with a friendship ring that does special things.

Wasn’t it Suyapa who was going to propose to Francis? And what is this you say about the ring?

The ring will be presented to Suyapa at the E3 gamers show (3 parts to this) ( the real life E3 in LA is in June). We also have a new character that will join team Angeles. Gengar does not like Francis or Suyapa as Game On, and without further delay….

Author, maybe you should ask the orderlies to let some fresh air into your padded cell; you’re starting to lose basic legibility.

Team Angeles: Blacksterops1025 does not own anything in the chapters you are reading.

(Location-JHMS Guild- room 401)

The team is at the guild 3 days after they brought Francis the Snivy home from the medical center. The team found out that Francis lost his memory somehow. Kat and Suyapa said that Uxie did the memory erasing, but the team does not agree.

"I say that Uxie erased Francis's memory" Suyapa and Kat said together

"I object that!" Rose yelled out loud

"I agree with Kat girl yo!" Francis the Buizel said

Oh, so now Francis #2 is here. And he says Uxie did it too. So why the fuck do they not believe him, when he was with Francis #1 when it happened?!

The team is now in a deadlock on if Uxie did erase Francis's memory. The team decides to do some shopping for information while Karla watches Francis the Snivy in the Guild.

(Room 402- Room of The Heirs and the Royals)

Ania the Snivy and Ivanna the Serperior are now talking about helping team Angeles look for information about Uxie erasing Francis's memory.

Because no one has anything better to do in these stories.

"Attention Pokemon" Ivanna began

"We Pokemon have been bombarded with injures to our poor friend, Francis the Snivy. Our best hope is to go with team Angeles to help them out. We move out in o 10 minutes" Ivanna said

The Heirs and the Royals agree and they get moving along with team Angeles to find information.

Again, why aren’t you listening to the actual eyewitness?!

(Location- Downtown LA Shopping center)

The three teams are now at the Downtown shopping area of Los Angeles. Suyapa see's a book on a yellow colored pokemon.

"I see a book on a yellow colored pokemon. I think that is a clue" Suyapa said as she went to get the book

"I see it is Uxie" Kat said

Attached Image

Author, if this is how you think criminal investigations are performed, you need to stop huffing paint in your parents’ garage.

The team has purchased the book for 500 poke dollars. Suyapa paid for the book. The team is now heading back to the guild, not knowing that Gengar is ready to strike….

Because of course they didn’t apprehend or incarcerate Gengar after defeating him – that would have been the smart thing to do.

(Location- Room 401 of JHMS Guild)

Karla was examining Francis's injures when all of a sudden a window breaks. Karla sees Gengar, Ninetales, Serperior, Zubat, and Koffing breaking into the room. Karla starts attacking all of them with Aqua Jet, only to have her sent back by Gengar's Shadow Ball attack. When Karla recovers, she tells Team Angeles (via the FAS) to return as fast as they can. Karla was about to call for help with all of Francis's rivals attacked her at the same time. Karla was badly hurt, was blown far, and was unconscious near the door of room 405.

Exactly when will these morons learn that Francis needs constant protection?

(Room 405- Mr. Henry's room)

Mr. Henry was teaching his rookie class about Francis the Snivy's 3 point shooting from last season, when Karla showed up unconscious near his classroom. Mr. Henry changed the lesson to "How to revive an unconscious teammate"

"Ok ladies and gentlemen, I am going to show you 2 ways to revive an unconscious teammate" Mr. Henry began…

Sure, don’t call the police or anything, you just carry on with your- wait a second, teaching?! The school they use as a guild is actually in use?! What the fuck, author!?

Hold on, if he’s going to show them two ways of reviving an unconscious teammate, is he going to knock Karla unconscious after the first one?

(Room 401)

Gengar and his friends (Francis's rivals) are just moments away from poke napping Francis. Gengar see's a black box with the words "Best Friends Forever" Zubat grabs Francis and the box ( the box has the friendship ring) and takes Francis out of the guild while Francis is still unconscious.

So, how is this going to transition to Francis giving Suyapa the ring at E3? Are you going off your own script again, author?

(The Trio of teams returns to room 401 and apologize to Mr. Henry)

Team Angeles, the Royals, and the Heirs return from the shopping center to find a nightmare come true.

"What happened here?" Suyapa asked as all the pokemon entered the room

Something you could have fully expected, predicted, but ironically not prevented.

"Im coming" Kat said

"FRANCIS IS MISSING!" Suyapa yelled

"What, No way!" Everyone yelled including Mr. Henry who checked what was going on

"What is going on here?" Mr. Henry asked

You’re yelling along with the rest of the headless chickens; didn’t you read the previous sentence?

"Francis the Snivy, our team leader, is missing. I also apologize for …" Suyapa was cut off by Mr. Henry (Mr. Henry is a Lucario)

"It's ok. I understand" Mr. Henry said

The team continues to talk until Rose turns on the news to see a familiar building, and 5 pokemon

As always, the TV is tuned to the plot channel.

(GAMERZ 19 News room)

"We have late breaking news this afternoon. It appears that Francis the Snivy, who is the leader of the popular western team, Team Angeles, has gone missing. According to officials in Downtown LA, Gengar and his friends, who appear to be Francis's rivals, have poke napped him away from the JHMS guild. What is surprising is that the last area where Francis was spotted was inside the convention center, which is home to his favorite conventions, the E3 gamers show. If Gengar and his friends are in the convention center and has Francis cornered, bad things will happen to Francis the Snivy. For now, in the newsroom, this is Carlos the Riolu for GAMERZ 19 news.

Author, if this bat-shit crazy world has schools, hospitals, parking lots, sports stadiums, high-rise buildings, and fucking E3, then where the hell is the police?!

(Location- Room 401)

The team wanted to save Francis the Snivy before he gets injured badly….

Blacksterops1025: With part 1 of 3 of this chapter done, Francis the Snivy is in a danger zone! Can everyone help Francis the Snivy in time before a weapon will be used on him? Can a surprise character help team Angeles?

In other words, can a Deus ex Machina save the day? In this story, I actually doubt it.

Find out…


The mystery is why the title includes the word mystery in it, when there’s no fucking hint there is such a thing in the story.


So, Francis is once more kidnapped, and is being brought to E3 by Gengar. Arceus knows why. Normally, a place with huge crowds of people wouldn’t really be where you’d hold a hostage, but in a previous story, Gengar was beating up Francis on the Las Vegas strip, and the bystanders did nothing but provide verbal protests. And yet, Francis is still the most useless character in this shit.

"So... preparing to storm into the room, you jostle your badger, kick down the door, and throw it at the thug standing inside." - Moment from my D&D campaign.

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Post #14

Critically Sarcastic

Group: Members
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Member No.: 660
Gender: Male

post Aug 14 2016, 05:25 AM
It’s time once again for stupidity and nonsensical narratives. Enjoy.


Chapter 18: The Battle at E3 2012 Looms

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to chapter 19 of the story "Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: The Mystery of Francis" In today's chapter, Team Angeles, The Royals, and the heirs go to the convention center to save Francis the Snivy, and the E3 gamers show from Gengar and his friends. There is a surprise character to help out with the battle.

And it’ll be such a surprise, now that you’ve told us in advance.

Here we go, and without further delay…

Team Angeles: Blacksterops1025 does not own anything in any of the chapters you are reading.

(Location- Team Guild)

Team Angeles, the Royals, and the Heirs are getting ready to save Francis the Snivy from Gengar's friends. Suyapa hopes that Francis is ok.

Everyone else was hoping to find him dead. Gods know I am.

"I hope he is ok" Suyapa said

"Me too girl" Francis the Buizel said

The teams take the elevator down to the second level to get to the cafeteria. Suyapa see's the teams car and told who is riding with who.

"Ok, The Heirs should travel with our group, while the Royals use their car to get the convention center" Suyapa said

Exciting transportation arrangement action!

"Alright! " The teams cheered as they got inside the car to head to the convention center.

(Location- Freeway 5 North)

The team is now on the Golden State freeway north. Suyapa checks the map. She sees a building with the words "Staples Center" written on it. She also spots a building with 4 sections. She tells the team that the 4 section building is the convention center. The team agrees as they are now 12 minutes away from their destination.

Thrill as the characters employ rudimentary skills to navigate!

(Location- Freeway exit off Figueroa St.)

The teams are now moments away from saving Francis the Snivy from Gengar's friends, little did they know that Francis is already unconscious and is bleeding, but the worst was yet to come…

So what else is new?

(Location- Convention Center- Nintendo booth)

Gengar, Serperior, and Ninetales are enjoying what they have done to Francis the Snivy. They see that Francis is now unconscious and is bleeding. Gengar wants to get rid of what they have done to Francis by hiding Francis behind the Microsoft (Xbox 360) booth.

Further stoking the fires of the console war by turning Xbox into scapegoats. I like the way these guys think.

"We should hide him before the teams search for him" Gengar said

"Let's do it!" Serperior yelled

The trio picked Francis up and tossed him 1,600 feet to the Microsoft booth.

Sure, just toss him a third of a mile through a fucking convention center. I’m sure nobody will notice that or question the five hundred meter long trail of blood he’d be leaking.

Francis landed on the play area for the upcoming game "Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon City"

We will take a break with a game preview for "Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon City" for PS3, Xbox 360, and consoles everywhere.

Product placement and a direct endorsement? You do know you’re not getting paid for this, right, author?

I do not own anything.( If you do not want to read the preview due to M rated material, please skip to when there is an earthquake on the E3 floor, and Francis the Snivy is crushed underneath the Microsoft booth)

Attached Image

This author is incredible. It’s like he’s so excited about every asspull and contrived event he thinks up, that he absolutely has to find a way to tell us about it, before it actually happens. He has turned spoiling his own work into a fucking art form.

It has been a while since I did a game preview. Today, I will do a game preview for the upcoming "Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon City"

My view on the game play:

When I heard about RE: ORC, I was thinking "Zombies", and of course, I am right.

What’s that saying again – even a broken clock is right twice a day?

Zombies dominate the Resident Evil game franchise for a long time, and RE: ORC should be no different. I think you will be playing with a partner (just like in Resident Evil 5). I also think that there will be 4 control types for the game. As far as organizing your weapons, I think it will be like in Resident Evil 4, where you had a case for weapons, ammunition, etc.

So, do you have anything interesting to say about the game, or is this all just going to be your speculations?

My View on the Graphics:

I think the graphics will be amazing because it's a Resident Evil game. Resident Evil 5 had a lot of stunning graphics (in a good way). There should be a lot of amazing graphics for RE: ORC.

That's the preview for now… The review will be on March 24th…Until then

Now back to the show

Once more unto the breach.

(Location- Outside the Convention Center)

The three teams have arrived at the convention center. The teams hear yelling inside






Attached Image

Well, this turn of events is stupid, let me count the fucking ways! One, the entire “toss-Francis-the-length-of-three-football-fields-into-hiding” plan has been dropped by Gengar in favor of beating him up some more. Two, Francis is now somehow conscious again. Three, their yelling is heard outside of the convention center during a convention. Four, they’re yelling while probably being within a few feet of each other. Five, even after the news broadcast last chapter, and the all caps exposition yelling, no one else is doing anything to help. Six, guns are now a thing – as in the Pokémon are now using fucking guns against each other. Seven, no earthquake, and no Francis getting crushed by a booth.

There needs to be a tenth circle of hell specifically meant for authors like this.

As the teams outside were hearing this, Team Angeles decides to go inside to find Gengar, Serperior, and Ninetales beating up Francis the Snivy. Suyapa notices a gun in Gengar's hand aimed at Francis the Snivy. Gengar was about to fire the gun, until a bat girl distracted Gengar.

"Francis, Im coming!" A bat girl yelled as she distracted Gengar

A bat girl? As in Rouge the Bat of the Sonic series, the same fucking “surprise character” you had in your previous story? You can’t even try to be original anymore, can you?

"Me too!" said a Riolu (Luis the Riolu)

Team Angeles took this opportunity to help Francis the Snivy. Suyapa can't believe that Francis is bleeding, and is unconscious.

It’s all he ever fucking does!

Suyapa, Kavi, Ania, and the mysterious bat girl wanted to avenge Francis the Snivy by battling Gengar.




2) NO RED CARDS…" Gengar was cut off by Kat

"I think, Im the ref here, so stop talking about no red cards" Kat said

"FINE" Gengar continued

Attached Image

Are you kidding me? Gengar is stating his terms, they don’t agree to one of them, so he just skips it? And it’s the red cards denial they’re objecting to, not the execution of their friend should they lose?! What kind of bastardized hostage situation is this?!



How would you even enforce that rule?

5) NO POWER PLAYS" Gengar concluded

The team was shocked at Gengar's conditions, especially #1 on the rules.

If they lose by knock out, Gengar can do whatever the hell he wants, it’s hardly shocking.

Blacksterops1025: With the battle about to begin, will Team Angeles be able to save Francis, or will Francis die in Gengar's chamber? Find out tomorrow. Also, the bat girl I was referring to was Rouge the Bat.

Really?! And here I thought it was Barbara Gordon swinging in from Gotham City.

The night is young, so let’s take another chapter while we’re at it.

Chapter 19: The Battle to Save Francis Part 1

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to chapter 19 of the story "Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Mystery of Francis". This is the biggest chapter of part two.

Unless you’ve written the rest of it already, I fail to see how you can make that statement.

Will team Angeles win and save Francis, or will Gengar win, and do his worse on Francis? Find out in this part 1 of 3 of this battle. Without further delay…

Team Angeles: Blacksterops1025 does not own anything in any of the chapters you are reading.

We need to set up a charity, guys. Something to help all these poor, impoverished fanfic authors.

(Location- Convention Center floor)

The team is about to battle to save Francis the Snivy from Gengar and his friends. Gengar has just finished his terms and conditions.

How fitting that’s in a flashback, because I already don’t read those.

Flashback from the last chapter




2) NO RED CARDS…" Gengar was cut off by Kat

"I think, Im the ref here, so stop talking about no red cards" Kat said

"FINE" Gengar continued



5) NO POWER PLAYS" Gengar concluded

The team was shocked at Gengar's conditions, especially #1 on the rules.

Flashback ends

Attached Image

Team Angeles wants revenge for what Gengar has done to Francis the Snivy. The team decides to talk about who is going to battle, and who will be on the bench.

"I think Francis's brother should battle" Suyapa said

The guy who Gengar beat into paste during a single attack round? Sure, why not?

"I agree yo!" Francis the Buizel said

"Attention Pokemon, I think Ania the Snivy should play with you guys" Ivanna the Serperior said

Suyapa looks at the starting lineup and the bench:

Starting 5

Suyapa the Pikachu

Luis the Riolu

Rouge the Bat

Ania the Snivy

Francis the Buizel

Why is it limited to five, though? You’re fighting for your friend’s life here, what rule keeps you from dogpiling them?

On the Bench

Kavi the Servine

Edge the Bisharp

Ivanna the Serperior

Rose the Servine

Rio the Riolu


Kat the "beautiful" Snivy

Attached Image

Gengar is ready to battle team Angeles

(Battle Format- unlimited time- special rules- subs allowed for team Angeles)

The starting 5 for both teams are now set to battle, while the subs for team Angeles sit down on the bench

"We did a coin toss back stage and Team Angeles won, so they go first" Kat announced

Fuck your coin tosses, fuck your back stages, fuck your dumbass interpretation of combat and conflict! Fuck!

"We shall save you Francis" Team Angeles taught to themselves as Suyapa gets the first move of the contest.

Suyapa uses Volt Tackle

Suyapa runs for Gengar to attack, while the rest of the team was defending Gengar's team from interfering. Suyapa lands the hit, and team Angeles has the lead.

"Team Angeles has a 40 point lead" Kat announced

“That’ll earn Gengar a red card! How dare he just stand there and take the hit?”

Rouge the Bat uses Heart Kick

Rouge flies toward Gengar while team Angeles is guarding Gengar's team from interfering. Serperior of Gengar's team punches Suyapa down (offensive foul). Ninetales misses Luis with the tackle, and Rouge the Bat hits Gengar and drains energy out of Gengar.

"We have an offensive foul on Serperior. That is his first foul, and also the teams first. Team Angeles gets a free attack with Francis the Buizel" Kat announced

Fuck this, nothing about this battle makes any fucking sense at this point.

Francis the Buizel uses Aqua Jet

Francis the Buizel runs forward while forming a jet of water around hm. He strikes Ninetales, and team Angeles has opened a big lead.

"Team Angeles has a 150 point to nothing run" Kat announced

So decking Suyapa in the face didn’t count? Really?

Serperior uses Frenzy Plant

Serperior fires a plant like move toward the Team Angeles starting 5. Serperior misses and gets attacked by Luis the Riolu, who used Aura Sphere.

"Im using this move to remind us of what Gengar did to our Francis the Snivy" Luis said to Suyapa as Kat announced the lead

Will it toss them five hundred meters through the air and jumpstart a videogame journalism segment?

"Team Angeles is now 200 points ahead of team Mean Ones" Kat announced

Ania the Snivy uses Leaf Blade

Ania runs forward but was punched from behind by Gengar. Gengar moves in front of Ania to punch her, but Gengar is called for a charging foul.

"That is a charging foul on Gengar. That is his first foul and the teams second" Kat announced

What the fuck is wrong with this battle? Gengar’s team is fighting it like the brawl it’s supposed to be, but apparently Kat is the one deciding what attacks are supposed to hit who and when! Is the entire world fucking crazy!?

Zubat uses Absorb

Zubat fires a needle from his mouth and aims for Suyapa. Suyapa jumps, but the needle heads for Francis the Buizel. Francis gets hit, but the attack will count due to the incorrect player foul.

"We have an incorrect player foul on Zubat. That is his first foul and the teams third" Kat announced

What’s the point of having five fucking players out for either team, if they function as nothing more than incorrect targets to get fouls from!? Fucking what?!

Team Angeles takes a time out to check on Francis the Buizel.

"We have a time out on the floor for team Angeles. They have 4 left" Kat announced

(Team Angeles Bench)

The team was checking on Francis the Buizel during the 20 second time out.

Just in case you thought they were speaking in code the first time you read it.

"Are you ok?" Suyapa asks Francis

"Im ok girl, it's just that Gengar has to be taken d -o-w-n down" Francis said

"If you fall unconscious, Rio or Kavi can take your spot at point guard" Suyapa said

“In fact, we’re counting on it – you really think we have faith in anyone named Francis after three stories of exactly this?”

As the team was talking, Kat blew her whistle to signal that the time out is over.

"Team Angeles has a 160 to 40 point run" Kat announced

Ninetales uses Flamethrower

Ninetales opens his mouth and tries to attack Francis, but misses wide. Francis tries to counter with Water Gun, but he gets held in an awkward way by Gengar, and Gengar uses Life Drain to try to get ahead. Gengar attacks and Francis the Buizel faints.

Attached Image

Gengar is celebrating with his team, but he was surprised when Kat raised the offside flag, meaning the attack does not count, and team Angeles keeps the lead. Kat also gives Gengar a technical foul for the type of hold he used against Francis.

For fuck’s sake, have they not noticed the pattern yet? They keep being penalized, always, every battle, all the fucking time, and yet they continue to use the same fucking tactics. Everyone in this story is a goddamn idiot!

"Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please, Francis the Buizel is unconscious, and is unable to battle; however, technical foul is given to Gengar. That is his 2nd, and the teams 4th. Team Mean Ones are one foul away from being in the penalty (after the 5th foul, the offending team gets a free attack)" Kat announced.

Suyapa takes the free attack and uses Volt Tackle

Suyapa hits Gengar and the lead is now back to 200 points

"Team Angeles is on a 200 point to nothing run" Kat announced

Does anyone know why the author is using this dumbass point system? It seems entirely designed to mislead people about the actual scores.

Blacksterops1025: That's it for part 1 of 3 of this battle. The side story for Rose the Snivy will be up next Friday.


I can feel this mock is starting to tire me out, so I’ll probably get another batch of chapters done and then look for a brief distraction – something with a little less self-loathing to brighten my mood.

"So... preparing to storm into the room, you jostle your badger, kick down the door, and throw it at the thug standing inside." - Moment from my D&D campaign.

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Post #15

Critically Sarcastic

Group: Members
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post Aug 23 2016, 12:06 PM
Here’s the next bout of hair-pulling frustration masquerading as PG-rated torture porn. Enjoy.


Chapter 20: Battle Part 2 and Fisher Tribute

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to chapter 2o of the story "Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: The Mystery of Francis". In today's chapter, the battle to save Francis the Snivy continues. There are surprises here as well.

Do you even know what the word surprise means, author?

I do not own anything!

Battle Reset

On the floor (team Angeles)

Suyapa the Pikachu (scoring leader)

Because when saving your best friend in a battle, of course you want to keep scores.

Rouge the Bat

Ania the Snivy

Luis the Riolu

*Kavi the Servine

Team fouls: 0

*= Kavi the Servine was subbed in after Francis the Buizel fainted

Yeah. Which is why we’re not seeing Francis #2 in the list. What’s your point?

On the floor (Team Evil Ones)

Gengar (2 fouls)

Wild the Serperior (1 foul)

Ninetales (1 foul)



Team fouls: 4

Oh look, he can count!

Score: 200 point run for team Angeles

(Location- E3 floor- Nintendo booth- battle continues with Zubat of team Evil ones)

Meaning we just moved the entire battle 1,600 feet back to where Francis was first tortured?

Zubat uses Poison Sting

Zubat fires a needle from his mouth and aims for Luis, who dodges the move. Luis counters with Aura Sphere and deals 40 points of damage

"Team Angeles is on a 240 point to nothing run" Kat announced

Yelling arbitrary numbers from the sidelines is sure to help out in the battle, right?

Suyapa uses Thunder

Suyapa's body glows yellow as she launches a thunderbolt like attack.

One might even say it was kind of electric.

She deals 20 points of damage each to team Evil Ones.

"Team Angeles is on a 340 point to nothing run" Kat announced

Ninetales uses Flamethrower

Ninetales lets loose a flame that tries to hit team Angeles, but Suyapa deflects the flames with Electro Ball, and Gengar takes 50 points of damage

"Team Angeles is on a 390 to nothing point run" Kat announced

Oh, come on, how is that not a fucking foul?!

(Time out- Team Evil Ones)

Team Angeles is talking to each other

"What should we play next?" Suyapa asks

"Let's play Rouge as a point guard" Kavi said

"I shall play the guard' Luis said

"Ok" Suyapa said

You could find more intricate planning of tactics in a game of rock-paper-scissors.

(Battle continues)

Gengar uses Shadow Ball

Gengar forms a ball from his paws and launches it toward team Angeles. Team Angeles team members Suyapa, and Rouge takes 10 points of damage.

"Team Angeles has a 370 point lead" Kat announced

But you refuse to mention that the other team has any amount of points? Just how bitter are you?

Rouge the Bat uses Heart Punch

Rouge runs toward Gengar at amazing speed. She punches Gengar and drains the energy out of him

"Team Angeles has a 410 point lead" Kat announced

Kavi uses Leaf Blade

Kavi runs forward and jumps toward Gengar and extends his tail like a blade to hit Gengar. Gengar gets hit with 50 points of damage

"Team Angeles has a 460 point lead" Kat announced

What good are the points? Do they decide the outcome of the battle or something? Do they need to know their average damage output? What?!

Gengar uses a move on Rouge

Gengar uses a staring like move on Rouge to control her body. Suyapa remembers this attack, since she was also attacked by this…

But because the author thinks his readers can’t remember, we get a flashback!

Flashback from chapter 9

Gengar uses an unidentified attack

Gengar jumps up in the air while glaring at Suyapa. Suyapa can't stop staring at Gengar as Gengar controlled Suyapa's body and attacked her until she (for the first time) faints.

Joey went straight to the spot as he put a paw out in front of Gengar signaling a penalty. Joey also announces a technical foul.

Why is the flashback continuing? We got shown the attack again, we don’t need the full fallout – especially since the person experiencing the flashback was unconscious for this part!

"Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please. Suyapa fainted and is unable to battle, however, technical foul on Gengar for using an unknown move. Kavi gets to use the free attack.

"Suyapa, this is for you" Kavi said to himself as he got ready for the free attack…

Flashback ends

Suyapa tries to distract Gengar, and she does allowing Rouge to counter with Heart Kick and drain the last bit of energy from Gengar (at least that is what the team taught)

Someone ought to put some thought into what they should have been taught. I’m saying you’re dumb, author, in case it didn’t come across.

"Team Angeles leads by 500 points, and Gengar is unable to…" Kat was cut off by the sound of a gun.

(Location - Convention center)

The team hears gunshots in the background as they run over. Team Angeles is shocked to see who is bleeding.

How can they be? Gengar’s hit list is a single fucking entry long – why do they continue to be shocked when Francis gets hurt?!

"FRANCIS NOOO!" Suyapa yelled as she runs over to Francis the Snivy's side

"Gengar now has an automatic suspension effective in the next battle, he also has a technical foul, that is his 3rd and teams 5th. The team is also in the penalty meaning that it's free attacks for every foul that Gengar's team commits to team Angeles. The battle will continue after Francis the Snivy is sent to the hospital" Kat announced

Attached Image

Are you kidding me? Not only do you continue to deal out fouls for fucking murder attempts, but you’re going to have the battle continue, after Francis – whom you were trying to save through this battle – is sent to the hospital, i.e. away from the people you’re trying to fucking rescue him from?! Can this story get any more insane?

(Location- LA Lakers stadium)

Commentator A: Kobe is looking for a pass. He finds Fisher (this is my small tribute to Derek Fisher, who was traded to the Huston Rockets from the Los Angeles Lakers. He will be missed). Fisher fires a three.. He gets it!

Leave it to this author to make a display of admiration come across as a depressing example of his already abysmal literary abilities. I don’t know who this Derek Fisher is, but I bet he deserves better than this.

Francis the Riolu who was watching got an alert that his second brother Francis the Snivy got shot by Gengar. He rushes toward the site…

Oh, great, Francis #3 makes an appearance. Joy of joys, callooh callay, I can barely contain my excitement and the desire for a swift kick to my groin.

Blacksterops1025: What will happen next? Find out on a special Sunday edition!

Or since we can’t look away from a train wreck, how about we find out now? Here comes another chapter.

Chapter 21: Battle Finale, Friendship Rings

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to the last part of the battle VS Gengar at E3 on "Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Mystery of Francis" In this chapter, we have a special character coming into the story, and we also have Orion returning to battle, and Francis the Snivy survives the gunshot to the head by Gengar, and will be able to battle.

I know Pokémon center healing might as well be magic, but a gunshot to the fucking head isn’t something you just get up from right away.

Here we go… I do not own anything!

(Location- E3 battlefield)

Team Angeles just witnessed Gengar shooting Francis the Snivy in the head. Suyapa goes straight to Francis's side to see what Gengar has done. Kat tells both teams to get back to the battlefield to continue the battle.

So Francis’ brains are currently evacuating his skull, and Kat just wants to win the fight? I’m not sure if I should criticize her priorities, or nod in approval as this is basically what I do whenever I play Pokémon.

Battle Reset

Tram Angeles on the Floor

Suyapa the Pikachu (Scoring leader with 300 of the 500 points)

It’s ironic that while they have so many points, it’s really just pointless in the end.

Kavi the Servine

Luis the Riolu

Rouge the Bat

Ania the Snivy

Team Evil Ones- on the floor


Sorry, couldn’t contain it any longer.

*Gengar (3 fouls)


Wild the Serperior (1 foul)


Ninetales ( 1 foul)

Team fouls: 5

Gengar has a suspension after this battle for using a weapon on Francis the Snivy.

Suspension? Does prison not exist in this weird world?!

(Battle continues)

"Team Angeles is on a 500 point run" Kat announced

Gengar uses the same staring move on Rouge

Gengar tries to control Rouge's body, but he gets blocked by Suyapa who uses Electro Ball to attack. Suyapa deals 20 points of damage

Can’t you just give the move a name already? You’re allowed to make shit up, I’m pretty convinced you know how.

"Team Angeles is on a 520 point run" Kat announced

(Team Evil Ones take a time out)

Team Angeles is talking with the team, until a certain Snivy revives…

I think the word you’re looking for is ‘resurrect’.

"We need to end Gengar fast" Suyapa said

"I have an answer…look behind you' Kavi said as a Snivy weakly walks behind Suyapa and holds a box.

"Francis is back!" Kat yells as she blows the whistle to end the timeout, but team Angeles takes a full time out for a very special surprise that no one saw coming.

I’m still wondering how Francis is back so soon after a gunshot to the head. Although, with how much of a peabrain he is, I bet the bullet simply missed it.

Team Angeles forms a circle around Francis and Suyapa. Suyapa can't believe what is coming. Kat comes over to see a black box that says " Friendship Anniversary" Francis opens the box to reveal 4 rings that all have the labels of Francis the Snivy's friends. One of them had a label for Suyapa, while the other three were for Kavi, Orion, and Kat.

And now you’ve either chickened out on Francis proposing to Suyapa, or you have no fucking clue what such an action would even entail in the first place, author.

The box also had three more hidden friendship rings for Francis the Buizel, Francis the Riolu, and Francis the Chimchar (who joins in the next chapter). Francis starts the ceremony by giving the rings to his friends.

"Will you all be my best friends forever?" Francis the Snivy asked

Attached Image

Why is this happening now? You got Francis, Gengar is still around and able to hurt him, again, in ways somehow worse than shooting him in the head. Just get the fuck out of there and hold you wittle preshush ceremony somewhere else!

"Awww..of course" Everyone said

Gengar saw this and attacks Francis the Snivy with Stare Control (That is the name of the move that Gengar uses to gain control of the victim's body to attack) Francis somehow avoids it and counters with Energy Ball and deals 30 points of damage

Finally it has a name, and it’s not the only bullshit drawn from the author’s rectum, I see. Francis should be in rehabilitation and learning how to walk, let alone dodge vision based attacks – do you have no sense of what brain injuries do, author?!

"Team Angeles has a 550 point lead" Kat announced

Gengar uses Life Drain

Gengar fires a needle at Francis, but misses. Suyapa uses Electro Ball to counter and deals 100 points of damage and 2 knockouts.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, your attention please, Gengar, and Ninetales are unable to battle. Team Angeles now holds to a 660 point lead" Kat announces

Why did Ninetales get- you know what, fuck it, I don’t want to know! I just want it to end!

"We need to take out the other 3 players on his team" Suyapa said to the team

"We need to make Francis faint!" Zubat said to his team

And then what? And then fucking what, Zubat? WHAT?! TELL ME!!!

Wild uses Frenzy Plant on Francis

Wild forms roots from underground to strike Francis. Wild hits Francis and traps him in a hold. Kat see's this and calls another technical foul on team Evil Ones. Francis the Snivy also faints on this play..(or does he?)

Do you think this is a fucking game, author? You’re driving me to the point where I don’t believe a single fucking thing you write, ever. Heck, I don’t even believe Francis got shot in the head, because, no, I still can’t get over how easily he recovered from that!

"Ladies and Gentlemen, your attention please, Technical foul on Wild, that is his first foul, and the teams 5th. Team Angeles will receive a free attack. Francis the Snivy is also unconscious, and is unable to battle. Team Angeles still hold to a 660 point lead…." Kat announced as Francis somehow revives by himself.

You had better have a goddamn explanation, heck, just a sliver of an excuse, for how this can be happening. I’ll even take divine intervention at this point, because as far as you’ve shown, Francis is already Jesus.

"Ladies and gentlemen, it looks like Francis is conscious, and can battle" Kat announced

Team Angeles cheered as Francis comes back in on the bench

Suyapa uses Electro Ball

Suyapa forms a ball from her tail while Orion comes in to do a alley ope shot. Suyapa tosses the ball to Orion, and Orion just throws it at Wild and deals 40 damage

Will this chapter be over sooner, if I pretend that made any kind of sense? Yes? Alright, then.

"Team Angeles has a 700 point lead" Kat announced

Zubat uses Life Drain

Zubat forms a needle from his mouth to attack. Suyapa jumps to avoid the needle, but Francis get hit. Kat calls an incorrect target foul.

Sure, after Ninetales getting knocked out by an attack on Gengar, that’s not hypocritical at all.

"We have an incorrect target foul on Zubat. That is his 1st foul, and the teams 6th. This attack will not count since damage on Francis is below 30 points. Team Angeles has a free attack" Kat announces

(Skip to Francis, Suyapa & Orion VS Wild)

Skipping what, exactly? I’m not even sure you’re having any time pass.

The last 3 conscious players have taken to the field while Wild stares at Francis the Snivy.

(Battle Continues)

No shit, really, I wouldn’t have thought, and my sarcasm levels are through the fucking roof, my god, oh god, when does this fucking end?!

Orion uses Flamethrower

Orion forms a flame from his mouth. Wild dodges and uses an unexpected flamethrower move to counter. He aims it at Francis and hits Francis. Wild ends a 700 to nothing points run by scoring 20 points.

"Team Angeles has a 680 point lead" Kat announced

And a team member who should be crowned as the long lost heir of Rasputin – what will it take to kill this sad sack?!

Suyapa uses Electro Ball

Suyapa forms a ball from her tail and aims it at Wild, who dodges and uses Solar Beam on Francis. Francis was about to get hit, until Suyapa takes damage by standing in front of her friend. Suyapa draws a charging foul, but Suyapa faints as well.

"That is a charging foul on Wild. That is his 2nd foul, and the team's 7th. Orion or Francis will receive the free attack since Suyapa fainted, while taking the charge" Kat announced

How many fouls can they amass before it demands any sort of repercussion?

Orion uses Flamethrower

Orion forms a flame from his mouth to strike Wild. Wild gets hit and finialy, after 3 days, Team Angeles wins the battle.

Three days? You know what, sure, I’ll buy that. You certainly made it feel like it took that long.

Blacksterops1025: In tomorrow's chapter, team Angeles goes to Las Vegas to face a new threat: Darkrai. I will also do a side story on Rose the Snivy today.


It’s a good thing I already decided on taking a break, because suddenly the author decided to dial up the crazy. Francis seems less inconvenienced by his excessive injuries than the Black Knight was in The Quest for the Holy Grail. Once I return to this, we’ll see if it gets any crazier, but I need something to cleanse the palate.

"So... preparing to storm into the room, you jostle your badger, kick down the door, and throw it at the thug standing inside." - Moment from my D&D campaign.

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Post #16

Critically Sarcastic

Group: Members
Posts: 522
Joined: 10-June 12
From: Denmark
Member No.: 660
Gender: Male

post Oct 8 2016, 08:24 AM
We’re jumping back into the saddle again. Hopefully my time away from this fic will allow me to be a bit more upbeat with my mocking. There might be a need for another break down the line, but for now I’m all fired up. So, Francis and his team just beat Gengar. Who would have thought? I can’t see it lasting, though; he’s almost as immortal as Francis. Let’s jump right in and see what happens. Enjoy.


Chapter 22: Going to Las Vegas

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to chapter 22 of the story "Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Mystery of Francis". In today's chapter, team Angeles is going on vacation to Las Vegas.

It’s never a matter of “if” Gengar will show up to ruin their fun, it’s a matter of “when”. I give them five minutes after arriving, tops.

Francis the Chimchar joins team Angeles in today's chapter, and there is a new enemy in this portion, Darkrai.

This makes it the fourth incarnation of Francis in this story so far. Are they all named Francis by birth, or are we working with multi-verse theory?

Here we go, and without further delay…..

Team Angeles: Blacksterops1025 does not own anything in any of the chapters you are reading

(Location- JHMS Guild- Room 401)

Team Angeles, the Royals, and the heirs have arrived after defeating Gengar at the E3 gamers show.

The problem is that Gengar is as resilient as slasher movie villain, and Francis’ side never bothers to do more than knock the guy to the ground.

Francis the Snivy is watching the television for the hot new video games that are coming soon this year. Kat and Kavi are looking at their friendship rings to see what they do for each other. Francis the Buizel calls a meeting to talk about the friendship ring.

Hopefully to tell them that friendship rings don’t work like that.

"Hey y'all. I would like to call a meeting yo" Francis the Buizel said

The rest of the teams came over to gather around for a meeting.

"As you all know, my bro, Francis the Snivy, gave us all some friendship ring. I did some investigation into this nice material yo, so here is some info about it" Francis the Buizel began

Yo, Francis, my man, homeboy, shut the fuck up.

"The friendship ring has a lot of powers that it does for you. If the holder faints, the ring will for sure revive the holder, but there is more, the holders attack or defense will double. There is also something for your friend. Your friends attack or defense doubles. The ring also lets you learn a move called "healing wish". Healing wish lets you heal your teammates, but you have to sacrifice yourself to do this. The friendship ring cancels Healing Wish second effect. It also has a free 4,000 poke dollars for you and the rest of the team" Francis the Buizel concluded

Attached Image

How over the top can you get, author? What the hell are these rings made from? It auto-revives, it doubles your stats, it double your friends’ stats, it functions as a TM for Healing Wish, it prevents Healing Wish from sacrificing the user’s health, and it comes with free money. You’ve turned what should have been a symbolic trinket of comradery into a Deus Ex Machina on par with a fucking Infinity Gem. Why aren’t everyone in the world, or Francis himself, wearing one?!

The rest of the team was happy about what Francis the Buizel said about the friendship ring. The team is ready to head to the airport to fly to Las Vegas.

And without so much as packing a single piece of luggage.

(Location- LAX)

The teams have arrived at the airport to board a flight to Las Vegas. The team grabs something to eat. The team also sees a Chimchar. This Chimchar they spot has a name tag. Suyapa finds out that this Chimchar is named Francis.

Why does Francis #4 need a nametag? No, seriously, why does he need to wear a nametag, when all we needed was for our other protagonists to recognize him?

Suyapa asks Francis the Snivy how many brothers he has.

"Francis, how many brothers do you have?" Suyapa asks Francis the Snivy

"I have8 brothers. They are Francis the Azelf, Mesprit , Uxie, Axew, Buizel, Chimchar, Riolu, and Piplup. I am the 9th to be born" Francis the Snivy said

Attached Image

Somewhere out there, there is a very prolific Ditto named Francis Sr., and I hate him oh so much.

"Wow, I just saw your fire brother" Suyapa said

"Where is he?" Francis asked

“And why are you referring to him in such a typist way?”

"He is at the next table" Suyapa said

The rest of the team went to the next table to meet Francis's fire brother. Francis the Chimchar is happy to see his brother.

"What's up bro?" Francis the Snivy asked

"Not much bro" Francis the Chimchar said

Had this been Francis the Slowbro, I would be all out of hair to pull out.

"Where are you headed to?" Francis the Snivy asked

"I want to go with you" Francis the Chimchar answered

Do you even know where they’re going, or have you been stalking your brother this whole time?

"Come along bro, I have friends of mine I would like for you to meet" Francis the Snivy said as he led his fire brother to the team

Wait, didn’t they go to the table with him?

The teams are now at the boarding area for the flight to Las Vegas, when they spot the Francis bros coming toward them. Francis the Snivy introduces his fire brother to the team. The team is happy to add a new member to the team. The team boards the plane. The team doesn't know that Gengar is watching their every step….

Why they haven’t realized, after this long, is the real mystery of this story.

Blacksterops1025: The next chapter is latter today!

He’s right. Two seconds later is indeed later than just now. Let’s go.

Chapter 23: Francis VS Gengar Act 1

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to the next part of "Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: The Mystery of Francis". In this chapter, battles are advanced, and explosives (if Gengar thinks he can get away from injuring Francis the Snivy, think again).

Gengar’s psychosis was a never-ending nightmare; hurting Francis was the only way to silence the demons.

We also have a side story on Francis the Riolu (See my story "Side Stories from Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: MOF" for more on the characters). Here we go, and without further delay….

Team Angeles: Blacksterops1025 does not own anything in the chapters you are reading.

Strange how often his name appears in it then.

(Location- Airplane bound for Las Vegas)

The trio of teams has boarded a plane headed for Las Vegas, NV. Suyapa of team Angeles is enjoying time by watching TV. Kat was getting training for using official review (useful latter in this chapter).

Someone ought to tell her what vacations are meant for.

Francis the Riolu is chatting with his grass brother, Francis the Snivy.

"What's up bro?" Francis the Riolu asked

"Not much" Francis the Snivy answered

“Our team just defeated my arch enemy, who shot me in the head, and now we’re taking a vacation. You know, not much.”

"How many times have you fainted while battling Gengar?" Francis the Riolu asked

"At least 10 times" Francis the Snivy answered

You are technically correct. In the same vein of “at least one person dies in a massacre”.

"I see" Francis the Riolu said

(Location- seat# 109)

In seat number 109 lays Gengar. He is getting ready to do something that Team Angeles will not forgive him for. He puts a control in his bag along with a device.

Okay, so I might have been a bit optimistic with Gengar’s bloodlust cooldown. And is this really going where I think it’s going?

(Team Angeles Area)

The team is 2 hours away from Las Vegas, when they heard an announcement from the pilot.

"Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please, an unknown device has been spotted on the plane. The last area that the device was seen was on a pokemon that is purple. If you see this pokemon, please contact the officials right away. Thank you" the pilot announced

Excuse me, but isn’t that what just happened? Someone saw the device, and the purple Pokémon, and contacted the current officials, yes? How else would they fucking know?!

Suyapa was shocked to hear the announcement. She knows who it is. She contacts the officials, however, a bomb went off, and the plane was going down.

Attached Image

Wow, I’m suddenly glad I waited another month to do this mock, or this would really have been poignant.

"Help me!" Francis the Riolu yelled

"Im coming!" Suyapa yelled

"Get a doctor! Francis the Snivy fainted! The bomb exploded on his left leg!" Francis the Riolu yelled

Okay, hold up, stop right fucking there! First of all, the plane is going down. Secondly, THE PLANE IS GOING FUCKING DOWN! The only way you’re currently getting Francis to a doctor is if you crash into a hospital! Thirdly, are you telling me a bomb went off on Francis’ person, with enough force to take down the plane, but Francis is not, I repeat, NOT a pulpy layer of viscera all over the inside of the hull?! Everyone else should currently be inhaling their friend in the medium of a fine red mist, yet this only hurt his leg?! How are you this monumentally stupid, author?

Suyapa goes to a doctor for help. She doesn't know that Gengar is attacking Francis the Snivy while he is unconscious. 3 minutes later, Francis the Snivy revives, but has to battle Gengar, while injured. Francis's injures is about to get worse….

We already on the ground, or is this shit happening mid-dive?

The pilot announces that Francis the Snivy will battle Gengar, and will be the announcer. The passengers crowd into the battlefield to watch their favorite Snivy take on Gengar.

(Location- Battle field)

It’s called a crash site, you muttonhead. I swear, it’s suddenly like the entire airplane never existed at all.

Francis and Gengar have arrived on the battlefield to battle each other. Francis already has a leg injury, and his injures will get worse. Kat, Suyapa, and Rose have put on their referee uniforms. The pilot announces that the battle is about to begin.

“We’re about to hit some logical turbulence, so sit down, fasten your seatbelts, and, for the love of god, do not question what the fuck is going on.”

"This is your captain speaking. We are about to have a battle between two competitors who are long time rivals. Introducing first, the challenger, He does bad things to innocent pokemon. This pokemon does not care what happens to his opponents. Please welcome, Gengar from Team Evil Ones" The pilot announced

The crowd boos Gengar as he got on the battlefield. Gengar mocks the crowd

"You shall NEVER, EVER, see Francis the Snivy again!" Gengar yells to the crowd

I’m not usually a wrestling fan, but I think I’ll be cheering for the heel.

The crowd continues to boo Gengar, until the pilot introduced the Snivy that everyone was waiting for.

"This is your captain speaking once again. Rise up, and make some noise for the nice guy. This pokemon is amazing. He battles Gengar, even though he is injured. He currently has an injured leg. This guy is one of the nicest Snivy's you will ever see. I am proud to introduce the Snivy from Los Angeles, the one who is tough, and the leader of the popular team, Team Angeles, please welcome, Francis the Snivy!" The pilot announced

Big bad wolf in one corner, wounded yet indestructible lamb in the other. Truly this is the battle for the ages.

The crowd cheers as Francis enters the battlefield. He is determined to battle Gengar. Kat, Suyapa, and Rose get ready to call the match.

(Battle Format)

Gengar goes first

Gengar uses Shadow Ball

Gengar forms a Ball from his paws and aims it at Francis, but Francis jumps and dodges the attack.

Maybe if Gengar also threw the ball instead of just aiming it, just saying.

Francis uses Leaf Blade

Francis runs toward Gengar. He jumps and extends his tail like a blade, and hits the attack. Francis leads by 30 points.

"Francis has a 30 point lead" the pilot announced

I’m still wondering if this pilot is announcing from a broken cockpit two hundred feet away from this, or if all of this is still happening inside the plane during a sixty degree nosedive.

Gengar uses Drain Punch

Gengar runs toward Francis. Gengar punches Francis, but he misses. Francis counters with a backwards Leaf Blade, and hits Gengar. Francis gains 20 points.

"Francis has a 50 point lead" the pilot announced

If he gets five hundred points, he can redeem them for a Slinkey at the local arcade.

Francis uses Energy Ball

Francis forms a ball from his paws. He tries to throw the ball at Gengar, but Gengar presses a red button in his bag. The bomb on Francis's right leg explodes.

The other leg too?! Fucking hell, did Francis accept a pair of strangely bulky kneepads from Gengar in disguise?!

Francis faints as soon as the explosion happens. The pilot makes the initial winner call.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, Francis is unconscious, and is unable to battle…" The pilot says before being cut off by Suyapa.

"Pilot of the plane, please note that the referees have decided to do an official review of the last play" Suyapa said on the radio.

Dreadful! Abysmal! One out of five stars!

What, that’s not what this is about?

The crowd boos Gengar until the official review is final.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, the previous play is under official review. Please be patient as this will determine the winner of this battle. I will get back to you as soon as Suyapa contacts me with the official call" The pilot announced

The crowd cheers on Suyapa, while booing Gengar for the next 4 minutes

Ahem, aren’t we forgetting something? The Snivy-shaped smear out on the field? The bomb victim whose kneecaps must be in two different time zones? Cleanup on aisle five!?


Kat, Suyapa, and Rose were watching the replay, and found a device that Gengar pressed. They talk to each other about whether to make the play stand, or overturn it.

"That is illegal. Gengar cheated and Francis will get the win" Suyapa said

Doesn’t he always?

"We agree" Orion and the rest of the team said

"Pilot of the plane, please announce that the play is over turned, and Gengar gets a 2 battle suspension" Suyapa said on the radio

“Okay, people who probably have no credentials and are in fact friends of the benefiting party!”

The crowd waits for 20 seconds until the pilot makes an official announcement

"Ladies and gentlemen, the previous play where Gengar was declared the initial winner, is now overturned, also Gengar has acquired a 2 battle suspension. As a result of the overturned play, the winner of this battle is Francis the Snivy!" the pilot announced

The crowd cheers as Francis is declared winner, however Gengar has different ideas. Gengar attacks Francis while his unconscious again. Suyapa ties to protect Francis, but Gengar press the red button. The bomb on Francis's neck explodes.

Holy hell, Francis, you’ve got to stop accessorizing like this!

The explosion sends Francis the Snivy in the air, and now lands on the floor hard. His body bounces up as it hit the floor. Suyapa tries to treat Francis's injuries, but his leg (after evaluation) is broken….

Just his leg? Author, I’m at a loss for words. I know to not expect a lot from you, but of all the things to not know how they work – motherfucking explosions?! REALLY?!

Blacksterops1025: What happens tomorrow? Find out tomorrow! I also have a side story on Francis the Snivy's steel brother, Francis the Riolu tonight.

Side stories are like side hoes. You really shouldn’t be doing one until you’re done with the first.


I’m continually amazed by the lengths that Gengar goes to in order to hurt Francis. He’s like The Punisher, only he somehow has it out for the most pathetic and non-important creature in existence. What baffles me more, than the author not knowing the kind of destruction bombs do, is how it’s possible that Gengar keeps planting these explosives on Francis without anyone knowing. Every chapter just keeps on cranking up the insanity, it seems.

"So... preparing to storm into the room, you jostle your badger, kick down the door, and throw it at the thug standing inside." - Moment from my D&D campaign.

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Post #17

Critically Sarcastic

Group: Members
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Member No.: 660
Gender: Male

post Oct 15 2016, 12:35 PM
Here’s more literary insanity about our favorite, narcoleptic martyr. Enjoy.


Chapter 24: Landing in Barstow,California

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to chapter 24 of "Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: The Mystery of Francis" In this chapter, Francis the Snivy, and Rose the Snivy are injured. The team is also short on revives.

Why would they need any, when their friendship rings makes revives completely obsolete?

There is also a surprise. The plane that was headed for Vegas is going to have a crash landing in Barstow, CA.

You mean the entire battle, at the end of the last chapter, was actually happening inside of the plane, while it was crashing? What the hell?!

Here we go, and without further delay…

Team Angeles: Blacksterops1025 does not own anything you are reading in any of the chapters.

(Location- Battle field)

In what fucking universe does an airplane have room for anything that could remotely be described as a field?

Team Angeles has just witnessed an explosion during the battle between Gengar and Francis the Snivy. The team rushes to Francis the Snivy to help him out, but the team also notices that Rose the Snivy is also injured.

For all I know, the author probably thinks injuries are contagious.

"Help Francis out!" Suyapa yells

"I'm coming!" Nurse Karla the Buizel said

"Rose is down too. She is holding her left leg with pain!" Suyapa yelled

That’s not what people mean, when they say you should do things “with feeling”.

"Do we have any revives Suyapa?" Nurse Karla asked

"No, we do not" Suyapa answered

“What about Deus Ex Machinas?”

“We do, but the author probably forgot that already.”

The pilot then announces that the plane is about to have a crash landing.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, your attention please, we are encountering turbulence in the air, and aside from that, the explosion that occurred during the battle is now sending the plane down for a crash landing. Please put on your seatbelts, and if there is someone unconscious, hold them tightly!" the pilot announces as the "seatbelt" light goes on.

They should all be hurtling towards the ground at terminal velocity, but sure, let’s just pretend that a bomb can go off inside the plane without bigger consequences. This author is so naïve it hurts.

The teams and the passengers rush to their seats. Team Angeles, the Heirs, and the Royals rush to their seats with Suyapa holding on to Francis the Snivy, and Kavi holding on to Rose the Snivy (romance in the future chapters).

Author, by looking at your stories, kindergartners are more capable of expressing romance than you. All you do is have characters kiss while onlookers go “aww”, even when one of the participants of the public display of affection is unconscious.

The plane bounces up and down as the plane gets closer to the ground. The plane is about to crash land, when all of a sudden, the impact never came. The pilot makes an announcement about the landing.

"This is your captain speaking, as you can all see, the plane is intact, thanks to a Axew that rarely uses Psychic. I wonder who this Axew is." The pilot said


Suyapa suddenly remembers conservation with Francis the Snivy and his fire brother.

Flashback from chapter 22

"I have 8 brothers. They are Francis the Azelf, Mesprit , Uxie, Axew, Buizel, Chimchar, Riolu, and Piplup. I am the 9th to be born" Francis the Snivy said

Flashback ends

The fifth fucking character named Francis in this goddamn story. However, I like him better than all the others. This is the first time where Francis, or somebody sharing his name, has actually made a difference and saved people. Finally, we actually have someone that can be considered a hero – despite Axew being unable to learn Psychic at all.

Suyapa was happy to remember that conversation between the two brothers. The pilot makes an announcement about the Axew.

"This is your captain speaking. This Axew that just saved everyone is related to a special Snivy on board. He is related to Francis the Snivy. I also found out that this Axew is the 3rd brother to Francis. Please welcome, the hero of the day, he is Francis the Axew!" the pilot announces as an Axew walks toward team Angeles.

Why is it that everyone speaking through loud speakers are suddenly omniscient introducers?

Suyapa welcomes Francis the Axew to team Angeles. As she introduces Francis the Axew however, Kat spots an sign outside the plane. Kat directs the team's attention to the sign.

"Look at the sign guys" Kat said to the team

“Now, can any of us actually read?”

The team looks at the sign and find out that they are still in California. They also find out that the city they are in is Barstow.

"Looks like 2 hours away from our destination, Las Vegas, NV" Francis the Axew said

Yes, by car. You have a downed airplane. I’d like to see you make that on time.

(Location- Barstow, CA)

The teams are now out of the plane to continue their journey to Las Vegas. As the team is loading in the car, Francis the Snivy revives to meet his dragon brother, and the hero of the day.

He even hotwired a car for them to use. Francis #5 is the best!

"Brother, you all right" Francis the Axew said

Francis the Snivy stirs to see his dragon brother talking to him.

"I'm…alive?" Francis the Snivy asked

Better luck next time, you tormented soul, you.

"Yeah man!" Francis the Axew said

(Location- Las Vegas, NV)

Gengar is watching team Angeles from a computer. He wants to make sure that Francis the Snivy doesn't get a chance to battle Darkrai, and recover his memories. He has set up a soccer tournament to determine who battles Darkrai, but little does team Angeles know that if team Angeles wins, Francis the Snivy has to battle Darkrai and Gengar…ALONE!

Attached Image

I have no idea how the author plans to justify such contrivance, but if anything, it might have Francis actually do something on his own, for once.

Blacksterops1025: Coming up on a week full of chapters….the soccer tournament! Which team will win? Will Francis the Snivy be able to battle his 2 rivals by himself? Find out on a special 2 chapter daily edition of "Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: The Mystery of Francis"

Also.. The side story on Francis the Riolu is for sure tonight!

I dearly hope that none of the other Francis-mons go through the same amount of pain as Francis #1 does. Speaking of the little pain magnet, let’s see what the next chapter has in store for him.

Chapter 25: Francis VS Gengar Act 2, Revelations

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to Chapter 25 of this story. In this chapter, Gengar battles Francis the Snivy again, only this time, things will get bloodier. Gengar is also hiding a secret from everyone.

If it’s another bomb, I’ll be the one who explodes.

Here we go, and without further delay…

Team Angeles: Blacksterops1025 does not own anything in the chapters you are reading.

Blood warning

Francis the Snivy- 100%

Save your warnings, author; you have yet to be more graphic than an Etch-A-Sketch.

(Location- Barstow, CA)

Team Angeles has just survived a crash landing thanks to Francis the Snivy's dragon brother, Francis the Axew. Suyapa and Francis the Axew are now talking to each other.

"Thank you for helping us out" Suyapa said

"No problem" Francis the Axew said

Don’t be so humble, Francis #5. You deserve the spotlight, unlike the one who is constantly hogging it.

"What are your moves?" Suyapa asked

"I have Dragon Rage, Explosion, Healing Wish, and Psychic" Francis the Axew said

"Very cool" Suyapa said

Especially since Axew can only learn ONE of those moves. Figures that someone named Francis would fill up half their move slots with sacrificial moves, too.

While the duo was talking, Francis the Snivy revives. Francis the Axew goes to his grass brother. Orion and Ivanna also go to Francis the Snivy. Orion gives Francis the Snivy a potion. Francis the Snivy felt better in 2 minutes. The team doesn't know that Gengar is watching their every move.

(2 minutes latter)

The team heads to a local car rental station to get a car to head to Las Vegas.

Author, I can’t believe I have to ask this, but did you actually write the last chapter, or did you have someone else do it for you? You had Francis wake up and the team loading into a car! What is wrong with you?!

Suyapa pays for the car and the car arrives. The team was about to board the car when Gengar launches a rocket. The rocket explodes when it lands on Francis the Snivy; somehow, Francis the Snivy doesn't faint from the attack.

Attached Image

I swear, if Gengar keeps this up, he’ll be dropping nukes within a week.

Gengar is now getting ready to battle Francis the Snivy. Francis decides to accept the battle.

(Battle field- 5 miles away)

The team has arrived at the battlefield.

Through teleportation, I guess, unless their car was made from the same material as that fucking airplane.

Francis the Snivy enters the stadium along with Gengar on opposite sides. Kat goes to her referee spot.

(Battle Format)

Gengar uses Shadow Ball

Gengar forms a ball from his paws on aims at Francis, but Francis attacks Gengar with Tackle and the ball explodes on Gengar.

"Francis has a 20 point lead and possession" Kat announced

Excuse me, what bullshit sports mix-up are you trying to emulate now?

Francis uses Leaf Blade

Francis runs toward Gengar. He jumps up and extends his tail like a blade and attacks Gengar.

"Francis has a 50 point lead" Kat announced

Gengar uses Drain Punch

Gengar runs toward Francis to try to attack. Francis swats the first punch, but Gengar attacks Francis from behind. Kat goes straight to the spot to call for a foul.

Fuck your fucking fouls! Why can’t there ever be an actual battle, without Francis’ biased friends telling the enemy they’re breaking the rules?!

Gengar tries to argue with Kat, but Kat gets her way and calls a foul.

"Gengar has collected his first foul of the battle. The last attack will count due to the fact that Drain Punch is a life draining move. Francis still has a 10 point lead, but can add with this free attack" Kat announced

Gengar once took down an entire parking lot full of these guys. Why is he listening to any of this?

Francis uses Energy Ball

Francis forms a green ball from his paws and aims it a Gengar. He strikes Gengar

"Francis has a 40 point lead" Kat announced

Francis uses Drain Punch (New Move)

And it only took him four stories to learn a new attack.

Francis runs toward Gengar, but unlike Gengar missing the move, Francis hits Gengar, and drains his energy.

"Francis has a 70 point lead" Kat announced

Gengar presses a red button

A truck pulls up behind Gengar.

Okay, this is unexpected. You have my attention.

(Story Format)

Team Angeles now sees a truck pulling up behind Gengar. Team Angeles is now about to learn what Gengar is. Gengar presses the green button to open the door. Team Angeles was shocked to see what they found inside. They found a lot of innocent pokemon dead in the truck. The team now knows that Gengar is actually a criminal, what's more is that at least 50 pokemon were found in the truck dead.

Attached Image

My god. I’m flabbergasted. I can’t believe this. People can actually DIE in this universe?! There is hope for Francis after all. Also, holy shit, I didn’t expect the author to actually pull this move. I mean, everything about Gengar spoke of a homicidal maniac, but to think that this milquetoast man-child masquerading as a writer would actually take this step? Never in my life!

"Gengar, you are a murderer!" Suyapa yelled

"Quiet!" Gengar shouted back

Gengar points at Francis the Snivy in an evil way

"You are next!" Gengar yelled as he presses a yellow button

How many buttons does he have, and where does he store them all?

A cage drops above Francis the Snivy. Suyapa tries to save Francis, but Gengar presses a blue button. A pokemon magnet activates and pushes Francis upward.

Right. Sure. We’ll go with that. I just want to see what comes next, honestly.

The cage closes on Francis. Suyapa tries to help Francis again, but the cage electrocutes her. Francis tries to do the same, but as soon as he touches the cage, his life is being drained by a machine that is connected to Gengar.

Batman has Lucius Fox, James Bond has Q, who the hell is Gengar’s go-to gadget guy? I need to know!

Kat tries to help Francis, but Gengar pushes her back with Shadow Ball. Francis the Axew does break the cage with Dragon Rage, but can't stop Gengar, as a bat like device forces Francis the Snivy inside the truck (and oh by the way, Francis the Snivy is unconscious).

I think we all just sort of assumed that, author. You’ve sort of started to inform us when it’s not the case.

(20 seconds later)

Team Angeles now is really ready and prepared to defeat Gengar, but they don't know that Francis the Snivy does have psychic brothers (Uxie, Azelf, and Mesprit).

Only you, author, could make me question logic, history, and your own shotgun-spread tendency for literary fuckups with just a single statement.

Blacksterops1025: I shall be updating the story again latter tonight!


This story keeps pushing the envelope for sheer unbelievable stupidity and hilarity. With Gengar now revealed as the murderer of fifty Pokémon, all somehow killed amidst his busy “tormenting Francis” pastime, where will the story go next, I wonder.

"So... preparing to storm into the room, you jostle your badger, kick down the door, and throw it at the thug standing inside." - Moment from my D&D campaign.

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Post #18

Critically Sarcastic

Group: Members
Posts: 522
Joined: 10-June 12
From: Denmark
Member No.: 660
Gender: Male

post Oct 22 2016, 08:07 AM
More humdrum from the dumb-dumb. Enjoy.


Chapter 26: Saving Francis the Snivy Part 1

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to chapter 26 of the story. In this chapter, team Angeles tries to save Francis the Snivy after he was taken by a electrical cage. Here we go, and without further delay…

Team Angeles: Blacksterops1025 does not own anything!

I hope you know, you can’t give up responsibility this way, author.

(Location- Barstow, CA)

The team has just witnessed Francis the Snivy being trapped in a cage, which was in the possession of Gengar. The team wants to save Francis from injury. Gengar now talks with team Angeles about his rules.

“Rule #1: Don’t talk about Fight Club, because I doubt the author has seen the movie. Rule # 2:…”

"Let's play beat the clock" Gengar began

Suyapa accepts the game, but forgets to hear about Gengar's rules

How? Is she momentarily deaf, or is she just not at all interested in paying attention to HER BOYFRIEND’S KIDNAPPER?!

"The rules are my rules.

Rule 1: Battle me here and win

Rule 2: Go to Las Vegas and battle Darkrai and win

I thought that was Francis’ objective, why do you flip-flop all of a sudden?

Rule 3: Go to room 200 of the Gamers hotel and find a red key

Rule 4: Find me in the hotel, battle me and win

Rule 5: Go to the River hotel and battle Rhyperior and win

Rule 6: Go to the Rivera hotel and look for me to battle

Rule 7: Battle me and win to save Francis the Snivy" Gengar concluded

Attached Image

So, Gengar wants the team to battle and win against him on no less than three separate occasions, including right here and now? What’s keeping them from saving Francis the first time they beat Gengar?

Suyapa was happy to save Francis the Snivy, but she forgot that Gengar is a criminal and is about to show how.

Fifty Pokémon dead, and you fucking forget?! Clearly, I have misunderstood the nature of these characters – they’re not simply morons, they’re fucking brain damaged too!

"I think I have one condition" Gengar stated

"Now what?" Suyapa asked

"If you fail in any one of these rules, or used up 500 hours, then I shall unleash my worst on your friend Suyapa" Gengar said to Suyapa

In other words, if they fail or spend three weeks dilly-dallying, you’ll do your worst to the guy you’ve already shot in the head and blown up on several and consecutive occasions. I’m highly skeptical but mildly curious.

Suyapa was upset and wanted to save Francis the Snivy before bad things happen. Team Angeles accepted the challenge to save Francis the Snivy. Gengar starts the timer and gets ready to battle.

(Battle Format- Suyapa & Orion VS Gengar- Referee: Kat)

Suyapa uses Thunder Bolt

Suyapa makes a thunderstorm near Gengar. Thunder strikes on Gengar as Suyapa picks up 20 points

"Suyapa has a 20 point lead" Kat announced

Attached Image

The repetitiveness of the combat only becomes staler by the superfluous announcements. It’s like the author forgets that we can fucking read what’s happening, and wants to inform the people that aren’t paying attention.

Orion uses Flamethrower

Orion makes a flame from his mouth and strikes Gengar. Orion has 10 points

"Team Angeles has a 30 point lead (Suyapa:20, Orion:10)" Kat announced

Gengar uses Shadow Ball

Gengar forms a ball from his mouth and strikes at Suyapa. Suyapa takes 20 points of damage.

"Team Angeles now has a 30 point lead (Gengar:20)" Kat announced

Orion uses Flamethrower

Orion runs while forming a flame from his mouth. Orion strikes Gengar and picks up 30 points, and is the new scoring leader for team Angeles.

"Attention ladies and gentlemen, Orion is the new scoring leader for team Angeles with 40 points. Team Angeles has a 60 point lead (Orion: 40, Suyapa: 20)" Kat announced

Who the hell is supposed to be the “ladies and gentlemen” watching this? I would assume that had anyone witnessed the events of the previous chapter, some goddamn cops would have been called already.

Suyapa uses Thunder

Suyapa makes another thunderstorm as she strikes Gengar. Suyapa picks up 30 points

"Team Angeles has a 90 point lead (Suyapa:50, Orion: 40)"Kat announced

Gengar uses Shadow Sneak

Gengar makes a Shadow of himself and goes behind Suyapa to attack her. Gengar attacks Suyapa and makes her faint. Gengar celebrates only to find out that Kat raised the offside flag, and a surprise. Thanks to the friendship ring, Suyapa revives.

I could just shrug this off as a blatant use of Deus Ex Machina, but I’m afraid it goes deeper than that upon second glance. The friendship ring is a symbol of Francis’ friendship with Suyapa. Suyapa was saved because she’s Francis’ friend. In other words, Francis saved Suyapa while not even being present. This is just another case of the author indulging his martyr complex.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, the last attack by Gengar is ruled offside and Suyapa is conscious and is able to battle. The last attack does not count" Kat announced

Gengar was very mad that he decides he want to control Suyapa.

Gengar uses Stare Dare (The new name of the move that Gengar uses to control others)

Was “Stare Control” not marketable enough for you? Fuck, you probably forgot what you called it the first time.

Gengar forces Suyapa to stare at him. Gengar controls Suyapa's body, only to have Orion use Flamethrower on Gengar. Orion's attack hits Gengar and the Stare Dare move is denied. Orion collects 30 points, but decides to share points with Suyapa.

How? No, how? Seriously, how, fucking hell, how do you even, what the fuck, HOW?!

"Team Angeles has a 120 point lead (Suyapa: 65, Orion:55)" Kat announced

Suyapa ends the battle with Thunder

Suyapa strikes Gengar to win it!

(Story Format)

Team Angeles has just beaten Gengar, but Gengar is not done with Suyapa.

So, how did “beating the clock” have anything to do with this?

"Not fair!" Gengar yelled

"It is fair" Suyapa said

"You fainted, how are you not unconscious?" Gengar asks in a evil way

"That's because I have a friend" Suyapa said

A friend with benefits, you might say.

"What ever you say!" Gengar yelled as he pushes a red button to make Francis the Snivy faint in the cage.

Wasn’t he already unconscious to begin with? Is it too much for you to keep track of the status of your own character, author?

Blacksterops1025: That's all for tonight! See you tomorrow!

Dawn arrives early, for here’s the next chapter.

Chapter 27: Saving Francis the Snivy Part 2

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to chapter 27 of the story. In this chapter, team Angeles is on the road to save Francis the Snivy. Here we go, and without further delay…

Team Angeles: Blacksterops1025 does not own anything you see in any of the chapters

But he wishes he did.

(Location- Barstow, CA)

Suyapa and Orion just finished a battle with Gengar. Orion was wondering what to do next to save Francis the Snivy.

"We have to battle Darkrai in Las Vegas or we cant save him!" Orion yelled

Did we miss the part were Francis and his cage was somehow teleported away?

"I agree" The team said

Kavi and Rose were doing something that Team Angeles saw for the first time. They were kissing each other.

"Aww… how sweet" Team Angeles said

Not only have they seen this before, in the third chapter of this story no less, but now is really not the time!

The duo of kissers looked at team Angeles and smiled. Kavi and Rose are now in a romantic state at this time. The team decides to get a car to head to Las Vegas to battle Darkrai. Orion was looking at Kat. Kat was looking at Orion (could this be another couple?).

Could this be any more pointless?

(Location- I-15 North to Las Vegas- 2.5 hours from destination)

The team is now in the car listening to music, playing card games, and playing FIFA 12 on the Xbox (You can tell that team Angeles has a party bus). Kat turns on the news and tells the team to quiet down when they heard about Gengar.

"We have breaking news out of Barstow, CA. We have just learned that Francis the Snivy, the main leader of team Angeles, has been poke napped by the now criminal, Gengar. After a battle with Suyapa and Orion, Gengar trapped Francis in a electric cage after he lost. Gengar then opens a truck that carried 49 dead pokemon. At the last check, they changed the number of dead pokemon from 50 to 49, still Gengar must be caught before Francis ends up dead in the truck. We will bring you updates on this, and also, the LA Gamers takes on team Mean Ones in a soccer game" the newswoman said on the radio

Attached Image

As if the rented car turning into a party bus wasn’t enough, the author now subtracts one victim from Gengar’s already high death toll. Both are pointless, both in inclusion and in effect – and I can’t even comprehend how the author would think that it makes a difference. And again, we see no evidence that Francis isn’t still back in Barstow, sitting in that fucking cage.

The team was shocked about what Gengar has done to the poor innocent pokemon. The team is really determined to take Gengar down.

You were there, you morons! This can’t change your resolve, because you fucking saw it already!!

(Location- I15 North-30 minutes from destination)

The team is now 30 minutes away from Las Vegas. They are ready for battle, and some romance mixed in as well.

(Location- In Front of Gamers Hotel)

The team had arrived and is ready to face Darkrai. A shadow appears in front of the team and attacks Suyapa. Suyapa dodges the attack. The team makes the 3-2 formation (3 in front, 2 back).

Last time I tried that maneuver, I got a cramp in my hand.

Darkrai is ready to battle team Angeles.

(Battle Format- Line Up)

Team Angeles









Francis the Axew

Francis the Buizel

It’s a wonder how so many of these characters are both mute and invisible most of the time.

The subs now head to the bench and prepare to wait to be subbed in. Kat goes to her referee spot and starts the battle.

"It will be ladies first. That means Suyapa will start with the first move" Kat announced

Did you just assume Darkrai’s non-gender identity?

Suyapa uses Thunder

Suyapa creates a thunderstorm in the sky, and strikes Darkrai. Suyapa is first on the board with 30 points.

"Team Angeles has a 30 point lead (Suyapa: 30)" Kat announced

Darkrai uses Shadow Ball

Darkrai forms a purple ball with his paws and lobs it over to Orion, but Orion blocks it by sending it back with Flamethrower.

A projectile made of shadows moved by light-emitting combustion? Yeah, you try figuring that one out.

Orion's move puts team Angeles at a 70 point advantage, and puts Orion as the scoring leader.

"Team Angeles has a 70 point lead (Orion:40, Suyapa: 30)" Kat announced

Kavi uses Leaf Blade

Kavi runs forward and jumps up and extends his tail like a blade. Kavi strikes Darkrai. Darkrai is now 200 points from losing.

Author, your math teacher hates you, doesn’t she?

"Team Angeles has a 100 point lead (Orion:40, Suyapa/Kavi: 30)" Kat announced

Darkrai uses Extrasensory

Darkrai focuses on Suyapa, and tries to uses psychic powers on her, but Orion strikes Darkrai with Flamethrower to end the attack, and put team Angeles at a 120 point advantage.

This is less like a battle, and more like a pet owner spraying their cat with water when it misbehaves.

"Team Angeles has a 120 point lead (Orion:60, Kavi/Suyapa: 30)"Kat announced

Ania uses Leaf Blade

Ania runs forward and extends her tail like a blade, but Darkrai grabs her tail and uses Shadow Punch on her tail. Darkrai's attack hits and makes Ania faint, but Kat being Kat does her offside thing, by raising the flag.

For the love of literacy, what the fuck do you think offside means, you imbecile?!

"We have an offside violation on Darkrai. That is his first violation. The last attack will not count" Kat announced

The friendship ring revives Ania. Ania goes to the bench to be subbed out, but one she subs in another player, his/her attack doubles.

Cheating; it’s the best part of sportsmanship!

"Attention ladies and gentlemen, Francis the Axew comes in for Ania the Snivy, furthermore, Francis the Axew's attack doubles" Kat announced

(Line Up changed)

Suyapa ( 30 points)

Orion (60 Points)


Kavi (30 points)

Francis the Axew (subbed in for Ania the Snivy)

Possession: Team Angeles (Ivanna's turn)

Possession of fucking what?! There is no ball in this battle. I’m thankful there isn’t, but it only makes the use of the term worse!

Ivanna uses Leaf Blade

Ivanna runs forward and jumps as she extends her tail like a blade. She strikes Darkrai and grabs 20 points.

"Team Angeles has a 140 point lead (Orion: 60, Kavi/Suyapa: 30, Ivanna: 20)"Kat announced

Darkrai uses Shadow Ball

Darkrai aims his ball at Suyapa, but he is denied by Francis the Axew, who uses Dragon Rage. Francis the Axew grabs 35 X2=70 points

It’s fitting that you apply this level of math in your story, author. Everything about it is basic.

"Team Angeles has a 210 point lead (Francis the Axew:70, Orion:60, Kavi/Suyapa:30, Ivanna:20)"Kat announced

Darkrai uses Shadow Ball on Orion

Darkrai aims his ball at Orion, but Francis the Axew blocks the way. Darkrai runs over Francis to take him out. Darkrai throws tries to throw the ball, but Francis defends again. Darkrai runs Francis over again, only this time, Francis the Axew faints. Darkrai continues to aim for Orion, but Suyapa forces Darkrai to shuffle his pivot foot, which means that a traveling violation is coming.

I’m not even sure you’re using accurate sports terms anymore, author. Can you communicate in a language other than bullshit-ese?

Kat calls the fouls. Orion also experiences evolution. Kat announces the news.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, a lot of things happened on this play, but first, congratulations to Orion for evolving into an Arcanine. He worked so hard for this moment" Kat announced as the crowd cheered nearby.

Oh boy, and without the presence of a Fire Stone, which is essential for Growlithe’s evolution into Arcanine. I have to ask, do you even play Pokémon, author?!

The nearby crowd cheers as Orion evolved into a Arcanine.

"I also have some fouls to announce. A charging foul is given to Darkrai. That is his 2nd foul. There is also a traveling violation for Darkrai. Francis the Axew is unconscious and is unable to battle" Kat announced

Suyapa does the timeout signal followed by 2 taps on the back to signal a 20 second timeout.

If the author could see me now, I’d be sending him a signal too. Two of them, in fact.

"Time out for team Angeles is granted" Kat announced

Team Angeles is deciding who to put in for Francis the Axew.

"I want to be in yo!" Francis the Buizel yelled

By all that is decent and literary sound, fucking comma!

"Ok" Suyapa said

Kat blows her whistle to signal the end to the timeout.

"Francis the Buizel comes in for his dragon brother" Kat announced

Thank heavens that you remembered the ‘for’ in that sentence, or this entire thing would have gone south.

(Line-up changed)




Francis the Buizel


Possession: Team Angeles (Francis the Buizel)

Careful, guys, possession can get you a fine of six hundred dollars, and that’s just for the first offence.

Francis the Buizel uses Aqua Jet

Francis runs while surrounded in water. He strikes Gengar and wins it for team Angeles.

Gengar? I know he’s your primary antagonist, author, but wake up!

"That's all folks" Kat announces

Final scoring breakdown

Starting Lineup

Orion (60 points + 30 points for evolving)

Okay, now you might as well have sports games be decided, by who does the best trick shots.

Kavi (30 points)

Suyapa (30 points)

Ivanna (20 points)

Ania (10 points for drawing a foul)

How about some extra points for pity, why don’t you?


Francis the Axew (70 points)

Francis the Buizel (20 points)

(Story mode)

Darkrai grants the team access to the hotel.

They are triumphant! They are champions! Here, you can now enter the fucking front door.

Blacksterops1025: The next chapter is latter tonight!


Ever seen a hurricane go by? That feeling of awe at its destruction and the inability to do anything about it. Yeah, that about sums up my feelings right now.

"So... preparing to storm into the room, you jostle your badger, kick down the door, and throw it at the thug standing inside." - Moment from my D&D campaign.

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Post #19

Critically Sarcastic

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post Nov 2 2016, 08:49 AM
Time flies by when you have stuff to do. Let’s get back to this thing and try to make some headway before the year’s end. Enjoy.


Chapter 28: Francis the Snivy Saved Early

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to chapter 28 of the story. In this chapter, team Angeles has to find a key the hotel. What they don't know, is that the machine that made Francis the Snivy faint earlier, is about to go after Rose the Snivy.

The machines have become sentient! Why didn’t we listen to the warnings!?

Here we go, I do not own anything! (There is a Los Angeles Lakers reference here. If you find it, review this chapter with the line, and I will add your character to the story.

If it doesn’t stick out like a sore thumb, the author probably forgot to put it in.


Blood warning level 1 in effect- Blood references are in this chapter!

Author, you might want to sit down for this – you have blood inside of you right now. Horrifying, isn’t it?

(Location- Gamers Hotel- 1st floor)

Team Angeles has just gained access to the Gamers Hotel after defeating Darkrai. The team knows that they have 300 hours to save Francis the Snivy. The team decides to check in at the hotel. After they checked in, they headed into room 304 on the third floor. When the team saw the room, they were in for a big surprise. A cage containing an unconscious Snivy was inside the room.

I wasn’t aware that hotel staff could be bribed by murderous criminals to put stuff in people’s rooms. Also, is it really viable for the entire team to share a single room?

Suyapa got first talk by speaking up first.

"Could that be Francis the Snivy?" Suyapa asked

"I think so. His body is colored purple and yellow" Kat said

Quick, check if he smells of self-pity and pain.

"You are correct, but did you find the key?" A voice asked

"Who is there?" Suyapa asked

"Me!" A voiced yelled as a shadow is revealed behind the cage.

"Gengar!" Suyapa yelled

I know Gengar is a ghost, and is therefore of the ethereal persuasion, but how did they not see him behind the cage, if they could see what’s inside it?

"So you are here! Congrats on your now short lived victory!" Gengar yelled as he pressed a red button. The cage expands into a machine that has 3 sections. Suyapa looks at the sections carefully. She did not like what one of the sections can do to harm Francis the Snivy.

With her expressed level of distress, it could give him mosquito bites for all we know.

"That thing can drain the life, and the blood out of pokemon. This machine can also erase memories of pokemon" Suyapa said as Francis the Snivy is trapped in the middle of the machine.

"Ok, let me show you how to save Francis the Snivy" Gengar began

"First, find the red key in room 200. Second, unlock the 1st lock in the room. That's all you have to do!" Gengar concluded

Did the author just discover kids’ game shows or something?

"Are you sure?" Suyapa asked

"Yes!" Gengar yelled as he disappeared in the shadows

"Ok, lets go!" team Angeles yelled

The team was on their way out when they received a message on the phone by a good unknown source.

I’d question why they haven’t called the cops yet, but when haven’t I, though?

"You have 15 minutes to do it. For every 5 minutes that passes, Francis the Snivy losses one of the things that Suyapa mentioned earlier. I have a clue for you; look in the drawer for the key. Please save my brother!" the message said

Oh great, it’s one of the Francis brood. Two of those things sounded rather vital, so who wants to bet we get another pointless amnesia plot on our hands?

The team follows the clue and heads into room 200 to find the key.

(Room 200)

The team heads into the room to find the key. The team looks in the drawer to find the key. They unlocked the lock in the room and disabled the machine completely. The team receives a message on the phone by the same one who helped them.

"Thank you for saving my grass brother team Angeles. Please head back to the room to see that Francis the Snivy revived. He has to battle Gengar, but I shall help my brother out in a huge way" the message said

This brother of Francis’ seems rather privy to Gengar’s plan. This would be a red flag, if it wasn’t because of the author’s ineptness.

(Location- room 304)

Team Angeles has arrived back to their hotel room to find that that Francis the Snivy and Gengar are battling. Francis is already losing by 400 points, and is bleeding badly. Gengar attacks Francis head on. Francis was about to get hit until a pokemon showed up out of nowhere.

Well, clearly he wasn’t with the team that just arrived, so why didn’t he step in sooner?

"I got your back my bro" the voice said as the pokemon got attacked

The team realized that the pokemon that took the attack is an Azelf, but not just any Azelf, its Francis the Azelf. The team was about to get a birthday present when Francis the Azelf mentioned something about a curse.

Attached Image

Author, I don’t know what meds you’re taking, but you need to up your dosage.

"When you harm me, I harm you back! I am not just any ordinary Azelf, I am Francis the Azelf! You harmed my brother while he was unconscious for far too long, now it's my turn to do it to you!" Francis the Azelf yelled as he does the Azelf curse.

Oh, look, the author is having himself stand up for himself against a villain he wrote himself. How fucking precious.

Francis the Azelf stares at Gengar as he does the curse. His tails glows red as the curse is applied, but Gengar uses Shadow Ball to block the curse and attack Francis the Azelf. Francis the Azelf faints, but the curse is already on Gengar.

So, even when he finally has one of his namesake characters grow a backbone, he still needs to force the self-sacrifice. This author needs help.

Suyapa calls the police to arrest Gengar.

Fucking finally!

The team was still happy even though Francis the Azelf fainted because Gengar is under Francis the Azelf's curse.

Blacksterops1025: That's the end of the chapter, and most likely the end of Gengar. Next up, battle Darkrai, and play soccer. That starts tomorrow!

The end of Gengar? Excuse me while I laugh in derision. Let’s move on to the next chapter right away.

Chapter 29: A Dangerous Treat, New Teamate

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to chapter 29 of the story. In this chapter, Gengar's willpower is being drained by the unconscious Francis the Azelf, but Gengar has 2 days to live.

So now he’s a homicidal maniac with nothing left to lose? I think this plan might have backfired somewhat.

Gengar plans one final attack on Francis the Snivy. Team Angeles is on their way to battling Darkrai. Here we go, and without further delay…

Team Angeles: Blacksterops1025 does not own anything in any of the chapters you are reading

Alerts in effect

Blood Alert level 2- Francis the Azelf is bleeding in 1 part of his body (arm)

Blood Alert level 3- Francis the Snivy is bleeding in 2 parts of his body (legs)

If a Level 3 alert is bleeding from two parts of the body, and a Level 2 alert is from one part of the body, then what the heck would a Level 1 imply?

Romance Alert level 2- Possible Romance between Kavi and Rose

Possible? Exactly what has been their excuse for locking lips so far, if it’s not romance?

(Location- Room 200)

The team has just witnessed Francis the Azelf draining the willpower from Gengar. The team also saw that Francis the Azelf was unconscious on the floor. Suyapa calls a medical team to take both Francis the Azelf, and Francis the Snivy to the hospital. The medical team arrived and the team goes with them to the hospital.

Wait, I know they called the cops last chapter, but we were never told of their arrival. Are they just leaving Gengar’s unconscious body unattended, again?!

(Location- Henderson Hospital- 30 minutes from Gamers Hotel)

Team Angeles and the medical team has arrived at the hospital to treat the Francis brothers for their injuries. The nurse takes both brothers to the medical beds. Suyapa worries about both brothers.

"I hope they are ok" Suyapa said

"Me too" Rose said as she kissed Kavi

Yes, I can see they are really torn up about this.

The nurse comes back with good and bad news.

"I have news for all of you" the nurse announced as

"What's the news?" Suyapa asked

"The nurse is good and bad" the nurse began

The nurse cares not for your petty morality; the nurse is beyond your comprehension.

"What is the good news?" Suyapa asked

"The good news is that they will both survive, and their memories are fine" the nurse said

"That's the best news" Suyapa said

Not from where I’m standing.

"What is the bad news?" Rose asked

"The bad news is that Francis the Snivy has lost a lot of blood over the last 10 minutes, and Francis the Azelf's tail is injured" the nurse concluded

The team was shocked to hear the bad news. The nurse did congratulate the team for defeating Gengar.

"I do congratulate all of you for defeating Gengar" the nurse said

Are you guys tired of repeated exposition yet? Are you tired of repeated exposition yet, guys?

"It was Francis the Azelf who saved us all" Suyapa said

"I do see that, but still thank you all" the nurse said

"Thank you" Team Angeles said

Attached Image

The team continues to talk to the nurse until the bell rang for the nurses to return from a lunch break. As the team hears the bell, they hear the voice of a Snivy, but this Snivy is different. The name tag is not Francis, but it was "Yuneri".

Well, this is certainly random. Have we finally stopped drowning in Francis characters?

The team talks to the Snivy.

"Are you ok?" Suyapa asked

"No, Gengar has escaped the curse of Azelf, and is planning an attack on Francis the Snivy" the Snivy said

I guess the whole two-days-left-to-live thing was just another one of those red herrings, that the author inexplicably spawns every other chapter.

"How do you know Francis the Snivy" Rose asked

"I am Yuneri the Snivy. I happen to be his friend" Yuneri said

Figures, if they aren’t out to hurt Francis, new characters are always his friends – there is no third option. I don’t care how he knows Francis, frankly, I’d much rather know how he learned about Gengar and his plans.

"We are happy to meet you" team Angeles said

"Can I join the team" Yuneri asked

"Yes you can!" team Angeles said

They’re never going to say no, are they? I bet Gengar could join, if he just asked.

The team was talking with Yuneri when all of a sudden they heard an announcement.

"An intruder alert in room 400! Please get there now!" the announcer said

Wow, this hospital is strict with its visiting hours.

The team sees all the medical teams heading into room 400. The team follows them and finds out that the room is unrecognizable. The team finds medical stuff on the floor, papers on the floor, blood on the floor, and a note on the floor. The team looks at the note and found out that Francis the Snivy & Francis the Azelf are in serious danger.

It’s hilarious that with all the signs of struggle and violence around them, they need a fucking note to know what’s going on.

"You want to see your precious friends again, you better come here to Ensenada, MX! You come, you save them. If you don't come, they die!" the note read

The team shows the note to the local authorities. The authorities alert the Ensenada police to look out for any strange activity. The team also heads to the Long Beach pier to get to Ensenada.

Wow, what a sensible thing to do. But what’s the point of informing the police, when they never show up in time anyway?

(Long Beach pier)

The team has arrived at the pier to head to Ensenada, Mexico. The team does not know that a dangerous battle is taking place.

And I do not know why the author keeps spoiling these things, much like I don’t know how the entire team went from Las Vegas to Los Angeles in the blink of an eye.

(Location- Ensenada, Mexico)

An unknown pokemon is attacking Francis the Snivy, while trapping Francis the Azelf in a cage. The pokemon is making sure that Francis the Azelf is trapped before attacking Francis the Snivy. Francis the Snivy tries to uses his moves, but the pokemon has magic that makes Francis the Snivy's moves very useless.

Attached Image

I don’t know who it is, and I don’t care. Their MO is the exact same as all the other villains; this conflict structure hasn’t changed through three fucking stories!

The pokemon then continues to attack Francis the Snivy until he faints. The pokemon continues to attack Francis the Snivy while he is still unconscious. The attack continued for about 40 straight minutes. The attacks stop when Orion uses Thunder Fang on the pokemon. Orion was devastated at what happened top Francis the Snivy.

I really wish the author would throw something else than pain or pity at his self-insert. A personality would be a good place to start.

Blacksterops1025: Next chapter latter tonight!


We’re heading to Mexico, it would seem. Why? Heck if I know. So far, every major location outside of Los Angeles just seems like a holiday travel destination that the author’s parents dragged him to. If only these locations were used in some kind of context; everything could take place in an empty warehouse, and it wouldn’t make a single difference.

"So... preparing to storm into the room, you jostle your badger, kick down the door, and throw it at the thug standing inside." - Moment from my D&D campaign.

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Post #20

Critically Sarcastic

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post Nov 9 2016, 12:19 PM
Alright, Francis has been kidnapped and is injured and unconscious, and his friends are on their way to rescue him. By all accounts, this seems to be the natural order of things for this world. This is the first time I’ve seen them go on a boat, though. Not exactly my first choice for crossing the Mexican border, but what do I know? Enjoy.


Chapter 30: The Battle Club on a Ship Day 1

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to chapter 30 of the story. In this chapter, team Angeles is on the way to saving Francis the Snivy and Francis the Azelf.

And yet Orion beat them to it last chapter. What even?

They join the battle club to train. Here we go, and without further delay…

Team Angeles: Blacksterops1025 does not own anything in the chapters you are reading!

Alerts in effect

Injury Alert level 4- Francis the Snivy is injured severely

Attached Image

(Location- Carnival Ship- Cabin# 200)

Team Angeles has just arrived in their cabin on the Carnival Cruise liner. They are heading to Ensenada, Mexico to save Francis the Snivy and Francis the Azelf.

So they decide to go there by cruise ship? Have they no sense of urgency?

Yuneri the Snivy was watching the news, when she heard a news story on Francis the Snivy getting badly injured. Yuneri raises the volume to have the team hear what is going on.

"We have breaking news out of Mexico. We just learned that an unknown pokemon has poke-napped Francis the Snivy and Francis the Azelf. The unknown pokemon then attacks Francis the Snivy while unconscious…."

And instead of making moves to stop the violence, they turn it into a news story for their own profit. If it wasn’t because the author is a prime contender for the front seat of a short bus, I could mistake this for social commentary.

The news woman said before Yuneri turned off the Television

"That has to be Gengar's attitude" Suyapa said

"I know, but didn't Francis the Azelf drain Gengar's willpower?" Rose asked

"Yes, but it takes 5 days for that to happen. It's been 3 days since that happened" Suyapa said

"I see" the team said

Plus, we were all told that Gengar broke free of that shit. Am I the only one paying attention here?!

The team then hears an announcement about the activities that can be done on board.

"A very good, morning ladies and gentlemen. This is Roxanne from the navigation deck telling you what you can do on board the wonderful Carnival Cruise line. I would like to welcome a team from Los Angeles. They are team Angeles. They are on a mission to save one of the popular Snivy's in the team.

Which is why they picked a day long, luxurious cruise trip instead of a three hour drive on the highway. What good friends they are.

He happens to be the leader. He is Francis the Snivy. If you see team Angeles around, please wish them luck. Time for activates you can all do while on board. In deck 7, we have the battle club, where you can train for all upcoming battles. On deck 3, we have the comedy club, where you can laugh at our comedians. On deck 12, we have the Dancers stage, where you can see our pokemon dancer's dance for entertainment. There are many other activities on board. As far as dining, we have a formal dinner at 6PM on deck 9. You get to eat, and see the servers dance for all of you. That's all for now" the announcer said

It might as well be official now. Every location in these stories are just places the author has been on vacation to; including the method of transportation. The only original content these stories contains are the torture methods the author wants to exploit for pity points.

The team was amazed at what activities the ship had on board. The team was happy about the announcer mentioning that they were saving Francis the Snivy. The team decides to go to the battle club to train for battles in the future.

(Location- Deck R Elevators to Deck 7)

The team is now at the elevators where they will go up to deck 7 to get to the battle club.

(Location- Deck A( Atlantic- Deck 7))

Boy, what an integral and vital part of the story that was.

The team is now at the battle club ready to train for battles to come. Suyapa talks to the leader of the battle club.

"Hello sir" Suyapa said

"Hello mam. Are you and your team interested in joining the battle club?" the male pokemon said

"Yes sir" Suyapa said

"Do all of you have a team name?" the male pokemon said

"We are team Angeles from Los Angeles" Suyapa said

Also known as the irresponsible douchebags. Seriously, why are they taking one of the most expensive and time consuming methods of transportation to save their friend, WHO THEY KNOW IS BEING TORTURED RIGHT NOW?!

"No way! Please come on in, and I wish you all luck on saving Francis the Snivy" the male pokemon said

"Thank you" team Angeles said as they entered the battle club.

The team was handed a pamphlet about the club. The team likes the fact that they can train with each other. They also like the fact that the teams and players can earn points and rewards. They can also battle teams inside the battle club for ranking. The pokemon inside the club wishes Team Angeles good luck in saving Francis the Snivy.

I wish someone else was saving Francis right now. Oh wait, that’s right, Orion is. Why the fuck are we following these selfish nutballs?

(Inside the battle club)

The team registers in the battle club. The announcer announces team Angeles as an official battle club team.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, your attentions please, please welcome team Angeles to the battle club. They are the team that is on a journey to save their leader, Francis the Snivy. They will join the club until they save this special Snivy. Wish them luck during this time" the announcer said

For fuck’s sake, we get it! They’re going to go save Francis the Snivy! Everyone wishes them luck! It’s been established! Move on!

The teams inside the club wish team Angeles luck with the mission. They also tell team Angeles that they are all friends of Francis the Snivy. Team Angeles is happy to hear that Francis the Snivy has a lot of friends.

And yet none of them can be bothered to get off their ass and save him; and neither can you!

Team Angeles reports to their battle station. The team can't wait to train, but they have no idea that the same unknown pokemon that attacked Francis the Snivy while unconscious, is watching them…

Probably rolling his eyes, wondering what Francis did to deserve to have these assholes as friends. Or am I the only one?

Blacksterops1025: See you all tomorrow!

No, we’re doing this now. There’s no need for the story’s release to be mirroring its narrative, despite what the author thinks. Let’s see what the next chapter has got for us.

Chapter 31: Team Angeles and Charm Team Up

Blacksterops1025: Welcome to chapter 31 of the story. In this chapter, team Angeles is at the battle club, meanwhile in Ensenada, Francis the Snivy is still unconscious.

You could call out a coin flip at the start of every chapter, and you’d still win more times than this bastard is awake.

Here we go, and without further delay…

Team Angeles: Blacksterops1025 does not own anything in any of the chapters you are reading.

(Location- Battle Club Area)

Team Angeles is at the battle club waiting to battle for points and rewards. The team is now going through the training area of the club. The team see's teams battling other teams. Team Angeles is at the base for their battle field. The referee calls them to start a match, what the team doesn't know is that the battle is a battle and a new style of battling, a basketball pokemon battle combination.

That seems like information you’d kind of want to know in advance, doesn’t it? What’s next, the referee telling them it’s a duel to the death, too?

"Are you guys team Angeles?"the referee asked

"Yes we are" Suyapa said

"This is your battlefield" The referee said

"Thank you" Suyapa said

If only they could be directed towards the plot as easily.

The team reports to the battle field to face team Charm. The referee puts both teams in their place as they are ready to battle. Team Angeles sees that this battle is a little bit different. They see a basketball, 2 courts, and 3 referees. The team also noticed that team Charm has 5 members. Team Angeles decides to get 4 more players.

I’m not really familiar with the details of basketball, but I’m pretty sure something about this is wrong. It’s like an absolute with this author – something is always wrong.

(Line UP)

Team Angeles



Wait, what the fuck is he doing here? He was already in Ensenada. What the hell?!



Francis the Buizel

Team Charm






Possession: Jump Ball

Starr and Orion are at the center circle waiting for the referee to throw the ball up to start the game. The referee throws the ball up and Orion gets it for team Angeles.

Possession: Team Angeles

Attached Image

For fuck’s sake, author, this kind of logic is like two steps above object permanence. I don’t have a whole lot of faith in your readers, but even then I think most of them are smarter than you. You needn’t clarify the blatantly and ever so incredibly obvious.

Orion passes the ball to Suyapa. Kat sets the screen on Starr. Orion moves around the screen and rolls over to the 2 point line. Suyapa passes the ball to Orion. Orion shoots the ball and scores it.

Score 2-0

Starr passes the ball to Kyle. Kyle takes a 3 point shot, but Orion blocks it and takes it away. Kyle uses Flamethrower, but Orion dodges it and continues to the basket.

Meanwhile, the ball had caught fire. So had the ship. It would later be known as one of the largest maritime disasters in pseudo-world history.

Leo uses Leaf Blade, but Orion passes the ball to Suyapa, and the attack hits Orion who gave the ball up earlier. Suyapa takes the three and makes it.

Score 5-0

Ike passes the ball to Tim. Tim passes Suyapa, but Suyapa defends Tim again. Tim passes to Leo. Leo gets the ball. Leo passes to Kyle with 5 seconds on the shot clock. Kyle passes the ball to Leo. Leo shoots the ball and misses. Orion grabs a rebound

Score 5-0

Gee, how would I ever have guessed that?

Orion passes the ball to Suyapa. Suyapa uses Thunderbolt on the Ball. Suyapa shoots it and hits the three, and does 30 points of damage to Leo as well.

Score 8-0

Because logic, I guess, or the lack thereof.

(Location- Ensenada, Mexico)

Orion (the second) is looking over Francis the Snivy's injuries.

THE FUCK?! There’s two of them?!

He finds out that Francis the Snivy has both legs injured, and the right arm injured. Orion II takes him to the hospital. The hospital was 20 miles away.


Orion II arrives at the hospital with Francis the Snivy. The doctors rush Francis the Snivy to the medical beds. The doctors tell Orion II to wait for news on Francis the Snivy. Orion II agrees and waits for the news.

So, basically, Orion 2.0 rescued Francis the Snivy off screen, from a villain still not properly identified. While this was happening, we were busy watching Francis’ friends treat themselves to a luxury cruise under the pretense of coming to his rescue. Even if you raided the trashcans of a penile amputation clinic, you wouldn’t find a bigger bag of dicks than these guys.


Francis the Azelf revives after being unconscious for 3 hours. He finds that Francis the Snivy is not with him. He finds blood on the floor. He knows that Francis the Snivy is not feeling good. He tries to escape from the cage, but got electrocuted and fainted again

But… but… how did… were they in separate rooms, or did Orion 2.0 really just pick up Francis #1 and leave the other to rot?!


The news tells Orion II about news for Francis the Snivy. Orion II's fears were right. The doctors had said that Francis the Snivy has both legs injured, as well as his right arm. Orion II tells team Angeles about the news via the battle club PA system.

Because of course a cruise liner would have a direct line to their PA system stashed at the Ensenada hospital. Why the fuck not?!

(Battle Club)

Team Angeles were winning by 12 points over team Charm when they heard an announcement.

"This announcement is for Team Angeles. Francis the Snivy is injured badly. Please hurry" the announcement said

Yeah, I’m sure the captain will just squeeze another couple of knots out of the engine. All of this wouldn’t be a problem if they hadn’t decided to go by fucking cruise ship!

Team Angeles and team Charm stopped the battle and talk to each other.

"We have to hurry!" Both teams yelled so loud that every team heard them

"We all agree!" the other teams yelled

It’s a veritable world of yes-men you’ve created, author.

"Suyapa, take us with you" Ike of team Charm said

"Sure" Suyapa said

Team Charm and team Angeles went back to their cabins to get ready for the formal dinner. After the dinner, both teams met in Team Angeles's cabin

In a world with creatures capable of teleportation, flight, and overland speeds on par with motor vehicles, these dunderheads sure have a weird definition of hurrying.

(Cabin 200)

Team Angeles and Team Charm are now getting ready for a big mission.

"Lets plan this out" Ike said

"OK" Suyapa said

Blacksterops1025: Team Angeles and Team Charm are teaming up for this one. What is the plan? Find out tonight!

It will probably include waiting for the ship to make it to port, departing with the rest of the passengers, and shopping for souvenirs before hitting the road. Because if they’re going to replicate the author’s tourist trip, why not go the extra mile?


We have two of Orion now. My initial guess would be that the author simply forgot Orion was in Ensenada, and sloppily covered up the plot hole by inventing an identical character. It’s not like he could have planned it; he can’t even keep the story direction straight for more than two chapters at a time.

"So... preparing to storm into the room, you jostle your badger, kick down the door, and throw it at the thug standing inside." - Moment from my D&D campaign.

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Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 23rd August 2017 - 07:44 AM