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> How NOT to Mock, Mock this way! Just gimme a fic like this!
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oneluckyduck


Constant yelling
******

Group: Members
Posts: 3,729
Joined: 11-February 11
From: Japenis
Member No.: 438
Gender: Female



post Aug 30 2013, 04:17 PM
How NOT to Mock
-By a selection of Project AFTER members.

Disclaimer
Introduction
1) Character Based Mocks. Max-Vader
2) How to Pick a Story. GFW
3) U mock, bro? Bonglorio
4) Good Looking Mocks. Dr. O
5) Effort and You. DraculaMarth
6) Con-Crit. Screaming-Soulcatcher
7) How to Make Jokes. Paragon
8) Surreal and Random Humor. Bonglorio
9) Group Mocks. Oneluckyduck and Xoxjoanxox
10) Reference and Offensive Humor 101. Shmeckie
11) Mykan, Mykan, Mykan… Al-Cone
Conclusion


This guide was written by a selection of members of the Project AFTER Forums. MoA has not seen any of this before anyone else, and he has not participated in its creation in any way. It is not aimed at one specific member, beyond the fact that we all need some help sometimes. Do not get offended. Do not start a storm. Just enjoy the show.

There are 1,287 threads in the Fanfiction Mockeries section of the forums, at the time of this writing. One thousand, two hundred eighty seven threads, most of which are mocking something, from ponies to Mykan, from anime to manga, from books to movies. Some are Essential, while most are forgettable. We are all members of Project AFTER. That means that, even if we don’t mock fanfiction ourselves, we all enjoy reading a good one as they come along. But, alas, they don’t come along that often. To help this cause, we have worked on and written up this guide to help. Be you an older member, or some schmuck who just found the introductions section, there’s always room to improve. And if you are the pinnacle? Then perhaps something in here can give you a laugh or two. So, from us to you, have a guide. Enjoy.


Character Based Mocks
By: Max-Vader


A character-based mock is, as it’s name implies, a mock where the commentary is done via characters. These can either be characters from existing franchises or original characters (read: self-inserts). On PA, it’s the norm that we do not do these kinds of mocks and instead directly comment on the text ourselves without using substitutes. There is a reason for that.

Character-based mocks are worse than Hitler.

No, seriously. In case you are new to this forum and vigorously disagree because you used to do these kinds of mocks and they got 500 comments saying “OMG UR SO FUNY”, allow me to enlighten you why they are so awful.

First of all, character mocks as they will be referred to from now on for brevity, are inherently hypocritical. That is to say, you’re trying to mock a shitty fanfic (unless you’re one of those “say nothing mean in a mock”-pussies that KKat-guy is so fond of), right? So why in the world would you try to mock a bad fanfic BY WRITING A BAD FANFIC?! And yes, no matter if you use OCs or existing characters, your mock will suck. If you use OCs, then they are already pointless by virtue of the fact that all the things you have them say could be said by yourself. Should you decide to use existing characters instead, they will be horribly out of character, guaranteed. After all, you have to bend their personalities to find some contrived reason why they would read fanfics and comment on in in a manner suspiciously similar to you.
This brings me to the main reason character mocks are made at all: Wish fulfillment. If you’re using existing characters then you are basically trying to write your dream fanfic while being able to sneer at someone (supposedly) worse than you and maybe pair off your favorite couple or have the characters hate the character you hate during the regular “jokes”. As far as using OCs goes, do I even need to say anything?! I’ve seen hundreds of character mocks with OCs and all of them were self-insert ego masturbation fantasies. Of course the worst ones used both OCs and pre-existing characters. “Hey guys, check out my cool character who owns a secret space movie fanfic theater not at all ripped off from MS3TK and who teleports random fictional characters to it in order to make fun of fanfictions with them because we all know Twilight Sparkle, Dr. Doom and Walter White have nothing better to do!” By the way, if you actually wrote something like that, please do us all a favor and stop breathing our air.

So in conclusion, if you want to write a character mock, there is only one piece of advice I can give you.

Don’t.

If you choose to disregard this... don’t say I didn’t warn you.

“Twilight Sparkle: Wow, that wer a lot of words! I read alot, and evan *I* think that was alot!
Walter: Yeah.
Max the Original Caharacter: I would love to be able to forget all that! But sadly for you guys, you have to read all of this or you will never get home! *laughs evilly*
Doom: Speaking of love, I have always loved yo,u Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: *opens eyes wide* rREALLY?!”



How to Pick a Story
By: GFW


Obviously, the most important step in a mock is picking the right story. An ideal story for a mock should be bad enough to warrant it, but also should have enough material to make the mock entertaining. If you find yourself trying to mock a story but being unable to come up with decent jokes for much of it, then this either means you're not very good or, maybe, the story's just not good mock material. So how should you go about finding the best story to mock? Hell if I know, if I knew that I'd do it more often. But what I can tell you is what NOT to do when picking a story!

Don't make a mock of a mock.

This is the dumbest thing you can possibly do. It's not very common, and for good reason. Mocking a mock is just fucking stupid. Chances are, if you're doing this you're some butthurt author who's found their story getting the piss taken out of it and you're determined to make those mean bullies see what it feels like! And if you're a bad enough author to warrant a mock, chances are you're pretty poor at mocking too. To emphasize how bad an idea this is, out of all the mocks of a mock it's only ever worked once, and that's merely because the original mock was possibly the worst ever. Chances are you won't find anything that bad, so don't bother looking.

Don't make a mock for revenge purposes.

Seriously, just don't bother. Unless you're exceptionally good it'll probably end up turning into nothing but a lot of insults towards the writer about shit that we don't care about or find funny in the slightest. Mocks are about having a laugh, not you settling your own little internet vendetta.

When picking a story, be original.

The reasons for this is very simple. No one wants to see multiple mocks of the same story. We don't need 20 mocks of, say, Fallout Equestria. If it's been mocked already, and you're a newcomer, it's likely the original mock was done by someone with more experience, and then why would we need an inferior mock?
Anyway, it's more fun to see new bad fics! Now I'm not saying this always applies, if the previous mock was really bad or didn't really get attention, then feel free. But if it was some hugely popular mock? Just leave it, yeah?

Don't do overused fanfictions.

I was thinking of one thing in particular when it came to this. PONIES.

Out of the thiry mocks on the first page of the mockeries section, at the moment 9 of them are Pony fanfics. 30%. All from one, admittedly incredibly stupid, fanbase.
Now obviously there's a good number of truly awful Pony fanfics that deserve a good mocking. However, just because a fanfiction is set in Ponyville, or features them, does not mean you have to mock it! There's only so many jokes you can make about how dumb it is that *insert universe here* has been merged with the Pony one. Now if you happen to find something like the next Cupcakes, or Project Horizons then feel free to go to town on it. But if it's just your average "obvious self insert human gets put in ponyville and becomes besties with everyone and gets with Twilight/Applejack/whoever" or "Pony’s are in universe where they don't fit dohoho" then just look a bit harder, you're certain to find something more interesting.

Don't write a story yourself.

Why on earth would you EVER do this?

With the literally thousands of terrible fanfiction out there, waiting to be discovered and ripped a new one, why would you take the time to write a story yourself and mock it?
The fun of mocking comes from knowing the author thinks that the awful piece of garbage they made is their MASTERPIECE, their TRUE MAGNUM OPUS. Writing a fic yourself totally destroys that element. Where's the fun in watching someone take the mick out of a story that was clearly made for such a thing?

The only exception to this is if you're mocking a story you wrote seriously, like if it was something you wrote when you were younger and dumber. It's been done a few times, and usually to good effect. But other than that, this is a no go.


U Mock, Bro?
By: Bonglorio


Q: But what about trollfics…?
Mocking a troll fic is really pointless. First of all, to mock a trollfic is to basically admit that you do not understand what trolling is. A trollfic is a fan fiction made intentionally offensive or bad as either a joke or to deliberately elicit a negative reaction. Therefore, most people who aren’t fucking idiots would deduce that mocking a trollfic would be giving the trollfic writer the exact reaction he/she was going for all along.
So if you intentionally mock a trollfic, then good job validating the troll you utter dipshit. The old phrase “Don’t feed the troll” is in full effect here.

Q: But I didn’t know it was a trollfic I swear!
Here’s the thing. It’s usually pretty easy to figure out what is and what isn’t a trollfic pretty quickly. Some things to look for include but are not limited to:
· Several explicit attempts at being intentionally crass or offensive
· Exaggerated or over-the-top sex, language, or violence
· Things that are very obviously jokes directed at fanfic or fandom

And so on. Think about it before you mock it. If it seems like a trollfic to you, it probably is.
If you really can’t tell if it is a trollfic, then Google the fic’s name or the author’s name. A little research goes a long way in not making you look like an idiot. Use your common sense, and if that doesn’t work out, use Google.

Q: But I bet I can still make it funny!
How about you don’t. If a story is written to be intentionally bad, then you just won’t get the same kind of humor out of mocking some massive piece of shit intended to be some greasy tryhard’s magnum opus. Half the comedy of making fun of shit like Fallout: Equestria, Normal Teenage Life, and Unicorn Jelly is this: They were fucking terrible and they were made with their respective authors honestly believing that they were producing literary gold. Making fun of an intentionally bad work is like making fun of a Tim and Eric skit, you’re just missing the point and nobody wants to read the commentary of someone who fundamentally doesn’t understand what they are commenting on.

Caveat: It IS possible to make a mock of a trollfic work, like Max’s brilliant pisstake of Shinji's Nightmare Cataclysm. However, know this: A mock of a trollfic can only work if the trolling is done in such an inept way that the trolling attempt itself becomes genuinely worthy of mockery. For example, if it’s obvious that the troll is trying way, way too hard to be trolling and is still doing a shit job of it, then you might pull something out of it, BUT and this is a very big thing: Do not try this if you’re just starting out mocking or when you have so many shitty fanfics that were written in earnest ripe for the mocking.


Good Looking Mocks
By: Dr. O


There are right ways and wrong ways to type and format your posts. My way is the right way, incidentally. I’m going to tell you how to do things the right way too, so your mocks can look not bad. Granted, that’s something you’d think everyone would do as a matter of course, but it’s not! And that’s what you have me for. So, don’t do any of these things if you want people to read your mock longer than it takes to click the back button.

Obnoxious fonts

PA uses a perfectly readable default font. It looks nice and is easy to read. And while it does support other fonts, I’ve never used any of them. It just isn’t necessary, since if you want text to stand out, there are better ways of doing it.

Yeah, I know. You think you’re too good for the default settings and want your posts to look ~*~special~*~. I don’t care. In fact, nobody cares. In fact, fuck the fonts! Why are those even an option? Who goes to more effort to make their posts look worse? And how did they figure out how to use the internet to begin with?

Font size is a more useful tool if used sparingly. Just be aware that GIANT TEXT IS NOT ITSELF A JOKE ANY MORE THAN CAPS LOCK IS, AND OVERUSING IT MAKES YOU LOOK LAME. Tiny text is less annoying but harder to read, so use common sense and just use the default size nearly all the time.

Color

A lot of people use color to distinguish sections of text from one another. Some look better than others, though, so use common sense when picking a color for your mock. Otherwise you’ll look like a stupid idiot. Now, I’m not saying to never use color. There are actually plenty of appealing colors to choose from. Use one of those. I like using color for commentary myself, especially for long mock posts. Just don’t get carried away - only use one color in each post unless you’re doing a group mock (see below). You don’t want your post to look like a clown vomited all over it. Unless you’re into that sort of thing, in which case you should keep it to yourself or maybe get some professional help.

Alternatively, you could decide not to bother with color at all. A lot of mockers prefer to use italics [1] or bold text for commentary. The important thing is for the original fanfic and your commentary to be easily visually distinguishable without being distracting.

Don’t underline your stuff, though. I’ll cry if you do.

Spacing

Don’t make everything a huge block of text. Unless you’re writing a newspaper or erecting an ancient Greek monument, don’t use giant columns.
Spacing makes your mock easier to read.
So have a line break between each chunk of fanfic and commentary. If you won’t take a tenth of a second to hit the enter key, then you probably don’t care enough to do stuff like make jokes, either.
And no, I don’t care that you selected a fanfic presented in this format. [2] That’s no excuse. Do you know what I do when I mock one of those old, ugly columnar fanfics that takes forever to scroll through? I format it! [3] Do you think that didn’t take time? I had to manually remove every line break in the story. The story that’s as long as all three Lord of the Rings books put together. I didn’t have to. But I did. Because I wanted my mock to not look like suck.
We’re not cavemen. We have technology. So unless you want my eyes to burst into flame on opening your thread, I suggest you use it.
I’ll repeat that for emphasis.
I
implore
you,
format
your
text
so
it
does
not
look
like
this
please.
“But Andrew,” you say, “you just want things to look the way you’re used to. This doesn’t actually hamper readability at all and you’re being picky. Stop trying to pass off your personal preferences as the gold standard here.”
To which I say “Yes! I want things done my way because my way is right.” Come on and look at this section. Look at the rest of the guide. And don’t get all contrarian and say you don’t see the problem, because that’s just a lie.
This is a pretty simple thing to do, so if you can’t or won’t then I’m going to go ahead and consider you a stupid idiot.
I mean really, look at how bad this looks.[4]

Preview

We’re lucky enough to use a forum that lets members preview posts. It’s an important function and you should use it! Your mock might have typos or a broken tag somewhere. Maybe you wanted to include an image but it doesn’t display properly. Previewing your post will help you catch those things. It’s also an opportunity to go over your commentary again, changing or removing jokes that didn’t work and maybe adding new stuff.

Besides, it’s faster than going back and editing your post after the fact.

Signing your posts

Don’t.

Scholarship

[1] http://www.projectafterforums.com/index.php?showtopic=3504 [5]
[2] http://www.eyrie.net/NXE/nxe1-1.txt
[3] http://www.projectafterforums.com/index.php?showtopic=2478
[4] http://www.timecube.com/
[5] Yeah, I cite myself as a source. What’cha gonna do about it?


Effort and You
By: DraculaMarth


One of the biggest offenses a mock can commit is when the mocker doesn’t even try. You know what I’m talking about. The mocks where the person literally just looked up a random fanfic on a whim and then wrote the jokes minutes before posting it. I used to do this, but there’s a reason I stopped: They weren’t funny. At all.

What I’m trying to say is this: PUT EFFORT INTO YOUR MOCKS, YOU FUCKING CLODS.

Q: What do you mean I don’t put effort into my mocks? I’ve made at least 700 in the past 3 months.
A: Congratulations, Mr. Productive. You know who else put out a lot of products? Hitler The Epic Movie guys. We’re not asking for Valve Time here, but for fuck’s sake take your time. Better to have one excellent mock than 20 terrible ones.

Q: But what if I don’t have time to make a good mock?
A: As far as I know, your mock isn’t a graded assignment. You have time to make a good mock. It is not mandatory to shit one out on the spot.

Q: But if I don’t do mocks, I won’t be one of the cool kids
A: You must be new here. Some of the most well-liked people on Project A.F.T.E.R haven’t mocked even one fanfiction.

Here’s a simple test to determine whether or not you put effort into it.

1. Is your mock worse than the fanfic itself?

If yes, you didn’t even try.

Q: But what if I am bad at spelling and for some reason, cannot figure out how to format my mock?
A: Why not ask for help? For all the things we mock on Project A.F.T.E.R, we’re actually pretty welcoming. If you need an editor, feel free to ask someone.

You’re allowed to make dumb, petty mocks. You don’t always need to be perfect. But if you don’t think the majority will find it funny, you don’t need to post it.


Con-Crit
By: Screaming-Soulcatcher

When you first start out, you’re most likely going to make a mock that is subpar or even terrible. The most important thing though is to take criticism and listen and learn to your peers. The internet these days have created a hugbox mentality, where the slightest bit of criticism is shot down because “its too mean”. However, by being a member of this community and creating mocks that rip people’s “hard work” apart, you need to have some thick skin and tact when dealing with criticism. Here’s some advice on how not to make yourself look like an idiot when being critiqued and giving critique.
Everything in life is subject to critique. It’s how art evolves, how businesses improve and how things get better. You can’t expect to get better by doing the same thing and making the same mistakes. Instead of crying and making excuses for yourself and stomping your figurative feet like a child, it’s best to listen to the feedback you receive and go from there.

You’re not making a masterpiece on here. You’re not the Roger Ebert of pony porn or a master philosopher on Harry Potter AU’s. You’re just some person at their computer making fun on some idiot’s unoriginal story. You’re not going to be awarded a Nobel Peace Prize for pointing out that using blood as lubricant is stupid. So, with that being said, leave your ego at the door. No one is high enough of the circle jerk pattern to be immune from criticism. Just be aware that whatever you do, it can always be improved and refined.

Even if you give your best, sometimes you’re best just won’t do. It could simply that you are an unfunny person. That may sound harsh, but it’s the truth. Some people just don’t have that comedic spark to make a piece of garbage tolerable. Sometimes it’s best to stop mocking, look at the people around you and see what they’re doing right where you are going wrong. Don’t just keep the delusion in your mind that your hilarious and flood the forum with countless, unfunny mocks. Just keep on learning.
You’re not giving a sermon and you’re not making a “how to write fetish fic” tutorial. You’re making a mock. You are using a mock to both trash a person’s story and make fun of it. We aren’t teachers here, we are mockers. Not saying that you can never point out what’s wrong in a fic. However, your main priority is, cracking jokes and making people laugh, not playing professor or stroking your ego.

We’ve been talking about how to take criticism. But we also have to know how to GIVE it. Simply put, the most important thing about criticism is to be direct and constructive as possible. Golden rule is in play here; don’t be a dick. If you see something that is functionally wrong and hurts the fic, let the other mocker know.
As mentioned above, “don’t be a dick”. If you see a “serious” mock and it looks like ass, let the person know. But simply posting a passive aggressive tumblr star or something like that is going to make you look like a douchebag. Leave the macros in our folder and think of a way to say something constructive to the person without coming off as a punk. And if you don’t have anything of value to say to this hypothetical mocker, then it’s best not to say anything and leave the criticism to the more mature members of this forum.

This isn’t a holy word for you to use and bludgeon other unfunny members with. It’s only a guide to help people and make some funny stuff. We aren’t here to antagonize others and create our own little hive mind here. It’s simply a guide to mocking. So in conclusion, keep in mind that when you’re making a mock, we all can see it. When criticism comes your way, just keep your head up high, take it, and learn for next time. We as a species are always adapting, always improving. With everything you do, the more critique you receive the better you’ll get. With a little advice, we can make the funniest mocks on the internet
But I guess if the thought of being critiqued is too mean for you, I’m sure the TV Tropes forums will always have a place for you...


Not Making Jokes
By: Paragon


i. Introduction

The heart of any good mock lies firmly in addressing the issues most prevalent in the fic itself. The method in which these issues are brought to light is up to the individual mocker, and more often than not in a successful mock, the issues are picked apart with humor. If the mocker is skilled, the humor will actually make people laugh. And that's what we're here for, isn't it? We aren't just literary critics, we are comedians. And at times, we can allow ourselves to forget that comedic side in favor of sounding more like a critic (read: pedantic and nitpicky). This is a mistake that a lot of mockers will make when just starting out (including yours truly). I cannot stress the need for actual humor enough. Nobody, (read: NOBODY) wants to read a high school essay about why a fanfic sucks. Leave that shit in high school. We know the fanfic sucks, if it’s getting mocked by one of us, it sucks. There is no need to restate the obvious when it comes to the quality of a fanfic being mocked on Project AFTER.

ii. Actually Being Funny

Now actually being funny, that’s a whole ‘nother beast. The trick is knowing what to pick out to make fun of. It’s like trying to pick a piece of poop apart for the parts that are extra poopy. Like people not acting like people, themes that are disagreeable or otherwise offensive, if you’re mocking a sex scene, go for the anatomy, things like that. We want to laugh at the things that are wrong with the fic, not be told what they are. Most of us are smart enough to know what’s wrong with a fic and thus do not need anyone pointing it out. We just want to laugh at it. It takes skill to know what to pick out of a fic to mock, especially because if you’ve found one that has so many issues, it’s hard to know what’s going to be the best thing to make fun of and what isn’t. Here’s the top three things I will always look at while mocking a fanfic:

1. The author’s prose.
If they write grammatically well and still have shit descriptors and images, that is RIPE for the picking.

2. Odd or downright impossible movements or actions.
I’m talking physics, anatomy, the whole nine yards. If I see something that is abhorrently inaccurate or unrealistic, I leap on that shit like a monkey on a vine.

3. Themes or underlying messages and insinuations.
Think Twilight and Atlas Shrugged. Now those have some shitty messages in them. Why not poke fun at that?

iii. The Sin of Wrath and Nonsense

Simply complaining and/or raging at or about the fic gets you nowhere. It really doesn’t. There is no humor in saying things like “ew did you guys just read that oh my laaaawdy it was so bad it makes me want to hit something/go on a killing spree/hit a baby with a rock”. We already know you want to do these things. Find other ways to say it. Don’t let the fic control you like that. Make that fic your bitch, because you are better than the fic and don’t need to stoop to banging at your keyboard like an enraged monkey. Nobody wants to see gibberish on their screen because that isn’t very funny. Watch this.

jkfdlsat eoihe;hpoa835917q iajdkl; fklafjer;atjioeut ioqkladjkfhdasjklhjfdska

Was that not the funniest thing you have ever read?!

That’s right, it wasn’t. Because it was pointless. It had no point, made no point about anything. I could have put any line from any fanfic in there and it still wouldn’t have made anyone laugh.

iv. Being a Grammar Nazi

Spouting gibberish and frothing at the mouth with rage are not the only ways to ruin your mock. If you’re like me and can pick up the rules of grammar fairly easily, you might think that an acceptable thing to poke fun of in your mock is the grammar. You’d be wrong, unfortunately, about 99.99999% of the time. Yeah, that sure was a misused comma. Good job, You! I betcha you want a nice gold star for all your hard work at pointing out a misused comma! YAY FOR YOU NOBODY FUCKING CARES ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT THE AUTHOR MISUSED A COMMA. Yes, I concede that there are some pretty damn funny typos that can be found in tons of fanfiction, but these are things that are truly funny on their own and likely shouldn’t be addressed beyond a visual representation of said mistake.

v. Images

Which brings me to my next point: use images sparingly. And I mean SPARINGLY. You can, in fact, have enough reaction images and memes. I’ve seen (hell I’ve even used) the Nic Cage “YOU DON’T SAY” picture several times in past mocks. In hindsight, did even I think that was a good choice to make? Nope! In addition, it makes it seem like you’re too lazy to tell your own jokes. And we all know that you’re not THAT lazy. A “joke” doesn’t automatically become amusing just because the text is superimposed on a picture of a cat.

vi. Videos

Here is a good time to discuss the use videos, because videos are just a bunch of pictures moving so fast the human eye cannot distinguish the transition between one image and the next. If you’re using a video, even one that is literally less than 1 second long, you are distracting your readers from the mock. Hell, you may even drive them away altogether because embedded videos link to other videos and before you know it, your readers are on that weird part of YouTube where HeMan sings that HEEEEEYAYEAHYAHAYAH HEEEEEEEEYEAHYEAHYEAH song. And you don’t want that, do you? You WANT people to read your mock, right? Then don’t give them the option of running away from it through YouTube!!

vii. Running Gags

Now, at this point I have discussed a variety of topics. I won’t ask you to reread any of it, but I doubt you noticed that I never actually repeated myself once. I’ve never made the same point twice. This isn’t just because I don’t want to sound redundant, but it’s a good way to usher in my next point: you probably should not have a running gag within your mock. Why? Because repeating your own jokes is never funny. The worst thing you can do is keep a count of some mistake an author keeps consistently making. We’re not dumb enough to overlook patterns like that and we don’t find them funny after the first few iterations anyway.

viii. Closing Notes

When you’re a mocker, your job is not to merely point out what is wrong with a fanfiction, it is to make fun of it in such a way that others can enjoy the fruits of your labor. And yes, you’ll stumble and make mistakes. Nobody is funny 100% of the time, and nobody can make every member of an audience laugh. But hopefully, after reading this guide you’ve gained some insight as to what makes a good mock a good mock. It’s all about making the right jokes at the right time. It’s all about knowing what to poke fun at. If you have the eye to know what’s wrong with the fanfic, you have the ability to be funny about pointing it out. I mean it. Everyone here has some level of capacity to be humourous. I believe in you, man! In closing, take your time, think about what you’re gonna say, and have fun with the mock. If you’re not having fun with it, no one reading it will, either.


Surreal and Random Humor
By: Bonglorio


If you want to use surreal humor or absurd humor in your mock, please keep these wise words from John Cleese in mind:
“Comedy is not watching someone act silly; it’s watching someone watch someone act silly.”
John Cleese is an expert on this and he certainly knows more about surreal humor than you do because he invented it, or at least made it popular. By that quote, he means that absurd humor is only funny if it has a mundane set-up to enhance the absurdity of it. You need that little grain of reality or normality in order to make the absurdity of the joke funny. If there is no normality, then surreal becomes the norm. It's why in a lot of shows you follow around the "Straight Man"; his confusion or inability to keep up with his surroundings can be identified with.
A surreal or absurd joke must be unexpected. You can’t just repeat vaguely funny-sounding words like “pie, cheese, monkey …of doom” and so on, because that’s not surreal or ‘random’, just you babbling like a nitwit. If you want a good example of absurd humor that is consistently unpredictable, look up ‘horse ebooks’ on Twitter, Jerkcity, or listen to the Nightvale podcast.
In closing:
LOOK AT ME, EVERYBODY! I’M TOUCHING THIS ELEPHANT INAPPROPRIATELY!
I HAD A BAD CHILDHOOD.


Group Mocks
By: oneluckyduck and xoxjoanxox


Hey everybody! I’m oneluckyduck, and today I hope to help you mock better! To help me with this task, I’ve enlisted xoxjoanxox! Say hi, Joan!
Sup.

So, our topic, fittingly enough, is “group mocks”. But what are they? There are two types of mocks that could be called group mocks. Both are pretty common, and both are pretty fun!
Unless your partner is a lazy shit. Then it’s not. ):<

Well, that’s why I asked you to write this with me! Because this whole guide is based around making people better at what we do! (Also, I know where you live.)
Now, the different types of mocks. One is when multiple people mock a single chapter of a story, the other is when a single person mocks a chapter (usually), but there are multiple chapters.

We’ve got two examples of these, Fifty Shades of Grey (no I’m totally not promoting my own mock, what are you saying?) and If I Was Your Nazi (more like If This Mock Was Finished : | Oh, will you look at that. It worked!)

We’re not saying these are the best examples of each type, but they are well known examples on the forums. There are a few benefits to doing either of these types, but there’s also a large chance for failure.
It’s kinda like the ‘trust fall’ test. If you’re doing this with close friends, it’s gonna be a great mock. But if you’re doing this with a scattered bunch of people, you’re gonna end up on your rear wondering why the hell you decided to trust these assholes.

Let’s start with multiple people mocking a story. When two people are mocking a chapter together, there’s the potential for twice the humor. If you are mocking a chapter with someone else, however, you still need to put in effort and make jokes!
Eh, but Ducky, effort is hard.

Just because someone else is helping you make fun, doesn’t give you an excuse to just put your feet up. You still should follow the rest of our guidelines! D:
okay.jpeg--wait make fun? That sounds dirty. huehuehue

Joan, are you mocking ME? Hmph. I’ll show you, missy! Back in my day I had to walk uphill both ways for a good mock.
If you don’t want to mock, don’t. It’s not required. If someone asks you to mock with them, you can say no! Maybe you don’t have time, maybe you’re working on another project, maybe you just don’t want to mock with them. There are a lot of reasons, and you’ll allowed to cite any of them. An unenthusiastic mock is not going to be a good one. If you both go through with it, actually play off of each other. If you’re mocking together, there’s SOME sort of friendship or chemistry. You’re two people who are (hopefully) funny, take advantage of it!
Take advantage of that sexy blonde in the bar too, rwar.

Hmm, I remember when I was taken advantage of one night...wait I mean
that’s going to be an example of dark humor.
that’s not what we’re teaching, here.
We’re teaching others how to take advantage of drunk chicks.

Yes, that comes later. Speaking of later, I spy a sexy blonde...
I’m not blonde but thanks.

I actually started to become better friends with a lot of people on PA by working with them. For example, I never really talked to Shmeckie one-on-one before we started co-mocking a chapter of Masters of the Universe/50 Shades, and, well, you can see how close we are now!
Well, we can’t actually SEE it, which is good. :I

Heh heh. Yes, closeness is good, but all things in moderation.
Like drugs. Buy wisely, my friend.

Don’t let the mock devolve into just being a conversation between you and your friend. When that happens, it reads less like a mock, and more like a character MST, and we’ve made our feelings on those clear.
If you are mocking with someone else, you know what’s cool? You two (or three, or four...) can act as each other’s editors. For example, I’ve been subtly changing Joan’s commentary to further my agenda...I mean, um, feel free to comment on each other’s jokes!
Well two can play at that game.

Did you forget I'm the group's editor, Joan? Also I’m a buttface. Nice try. As someone who is both an editor and a writer, I can say critique is vital. (And no, Joan, telling me that I am a buttface doesn't count as critique!) Maybe the other person won’t take your advice, but most likely they will. If someone gives YOU advice, think on it. They’ve decided that you have something worth pointing out, good or bad...because, don’t forget that you can encourage each other, too. Point out what you liked! biggrin.gif
With your words though, not your dick.

When you’re reading through any mock, but especially one with many people, feel free to prune your less humorous jokes if things get too cluttered. Group mocks can get very messy. Follow the rules outlined in “Good Looking Mocks” and pick different text colors. They should be easy on the eyes, not clash with each other, and easy to tell apart. Identify yourselves before you start mocking.
Something we totally did in the beginning. No, you can’t scroll back up to check, you tosser.

For the love of god, don't make your text more distracting than the story itself! Despite my joke up there, it’s probably best that you never go over three people in a chapter. Two’s a good number. If you have four people who REALLY want to mock, either rotate, or give everyone their own chapter! And, that brings us to the next type of mock…

Multiple people mocking multiple chapters have different considerations. Each chapter is going to be more like a normal mock. A single person working on a single section! (Of course, you can combine the two types. For example, in the mock of 50 Shades, a couple of chapters had a couple of people each. To make this easier to explain, however, we’re going to ignore that. You’re smart people, you can figure this out.)
Try to have everyone get their chapter from the same source. I learned that different hosts of a fanfiction that will remain nameless changed the formatting of the story, meaning that every other chapter looked different, style-wise. The same thing can happen if a story went under revisions while being moved to a different host. Fanfiction.net can say one thing, while Ao3 can say another!
If you’re mocking a chapter for someone else’s mock, submit it in a timely manner. Don’t feel afraid to say you won’t be able to. It’s not your mock to procrastinate.
Not gonna point anyone here but YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

Haha, yeah, Joan has personal experience in that area…
Don’t feel shy to join a group mock. That’s how I got my chapter of FO:E and started becoming really close to the people of PA. At the same time though, don’t feel bad if people turn you down. It’s probably nothing personal. Maybe you’re a pretty new member (but remember, seniority does not automatically make you ‘part of the cool kids' club’) or there’s too many people there already.
But it is possible sometimes that the person in charge simply doesn’t like you or thinks you’re unfunny. I mean, oh well. Maybe it’s true, but doesn’t mean it’s always going to be true. People and feelings change, so don’t get hung up on it. Treat it as a learning experience and improve yourself, or maybe realize you don’t need the validation of people you barely know on the internet to make yourself feel better.

just saying


If you don’t want to chance being turned down in public, treat it like prom and private message. Have you ever had to turn someone down for a mock, Joan?
I didn’t turn him down so much as I quietly ignored him like the bitchy lady I am.

Hmm, sounds like my experiences with school dances...uncanny.
Remember kids, you don’t need to be part of the mock group to be cool. You just gotta blaze it.




Reference and Offensive Humor 101
By: Shmeckie

Well ain’t this just the most appropriate thing? The forum’s resident uber-asshole writing the section about offensive humor? Well I guess that means it’s time to listen up, then! First of all--and this is the most important part--virtually nothing is off limits. If you’re the tumblr type who gets easily offended, calls it “triggering”, and feels the need to bitch and moan about content, fanfiction mockery may not be for you. Why? Because one has to have the nuts to attack someone’s hard work, first of all, if you’re gonna do this right. There has to be a little mean streak in ya if you want to do fanfiction mockery at its best. Not to say you’ve gotta be full asshole, but if you’re the mincing type who worries too much about offending, or hurting people’s feelings, your mocks are going to be half-assed and soulless. No real humor, no jokes, no biting criticisms, just “oh here’s a little chuckle hope i wasn’t too harsh LOL”. The people that find it funny trump the people that find it offensive. Offensive has to outnumber funny 100:1 before the “offensive” side has any credence. Why? Because it’s easy for some chucklehead to be offended at something they don’t want to hear. Be it for political, social, or other bullshit reasons, jackasses will always find a reason to be offended. And anyone can tell you jackasses can never be allowed to determine what people can and can’t do. That’s fascism, my friend. Plus, fuck thin-skinned people. Fuck ‘em right up their tightened sphincters.

That said, no one’s interested in your half-assed, dime store George-Carlin-meets-Lewis-Black impression. A curse word, by itself, is not a joke. Threats of murder and rape are only funny when used in comical extremes. Hyperbole is a classic form of comedy. One which I abuse like a motherfucker. But if you can’t grasp how it works, don’t bother. Saying “I hope you die” is not a joke. Saying “fuck you, bitch” is also not a joke. Saying “I hope you get murdered by a chainsaw-wielding neighbor who has had enough with you leaving shit on your lawn and playing your shitty music at full blast and has come to set things right in the bloodiest way possible” is closer to what people want to see. Once you take your threats out of the realm of reality and into the realm of the absurd, you’ve got something that can actually entertain people. All that said, don’t go fucking overboard with it, you maggot-fellating cuntbucket! People need breaks from the extreme shit. Making every other joke be a bunch of MDKs gets old fast, and just makes you look like some 14-year-old douchenozzle trying to stick it to the nerds while cranking your Rise Against albums at full blast. Hey, is that a knock at the door? Better answer it, it could be important! I think it’s your neighbour, he’s probably got cookies or something…!

But first and foremost, YOU ARE TELLING A JOKE. If you bring up something offensive, there better be context, it better be witty, and there better be a point. Even if it’s for shock value, shock humor can still be done well if seasoned with clever wit. As long as you’re funny, you’re clever, and you’re adept at assessing the situation and knowing when to “go to far”, nothing is off limits. Even the most heinous thing can be funny if utilized properly.

Now, offensive humor isn’t the only thing I’m here to talk to you about. The other is the Scourge of Comedy itself. The poison injected into the comedy world by fuckfaces like Seth MacFarlane and every other Abridged Series on YouTube. I’m talking about reference humor. This moronic idea that simply bringing something up that people are familiar with constitutes a joke. So if you’re the kind of braindead clod that legitimately enjoys shit like Family Guy, or Panty and Stocking, my first tip to you would be to give up the idea of fanfiction mockery, go back to your job at the gas station, and don’t go conversing with those of us with multiple brain cells.

Simply mentioning something is not a joke. Making a shout-out to something is not a joke. Quoting an internet meme is definitely not a joke. In fact, I think that might be some kind of unholy un-joke, I’ll have to check… Once in awhile might be fine, and only if it’s absolutely appropriate. But then, that applies to any reference-based joke; it should only be done when appropriate. An Over 9000 joke should only be considered when something involving amounts are involved (and even then, in this day and age, Over 9000 jokes are done and if you do them I hope you get cancer). if you’re going to do reference jokes, don’t look to Family Guy for your inspiration, look to a show that actually knew how to do this shit; The Critic. Unlike Family Guy, that thinks bringing something up, or having it onscreen is, in and of itself, a joke, The Critic knew how to bring something up, and use that reference to either lampoon the situation that merited the reference, or use the pretense of the situation to lampoon what was being referenced. For instance, if you’re mocking a Sonic the Hedgehog fic, I’m sure every fiber of your being wants to bring up “gotta go fast”. Quoting this line in some scene that describes Sonic running is probably just too easy to resist. Too bad it’s also not funny and should be avoided at all costs and if you do it no one will ever like you. If you HAVE to bring up “gotta go fast”, bring it up in a situation where it’s appropriate, where no one will expect it, and use it in a way that’s clever and witty. Humor’s like a sucker punch; you’ve gotta surprise people. It’s in that moment of surprise that people belt out the belly laughs. No one rolls on the floor laughing at something they saw coming a mile away.

And remember, first and foremost; you’re telling a fucking joke. That’s the point of these things. If it’s just a reference, with no underlying joke, it’s useless. This is not some Abridged Series fan community where we laugh and clap our hands at seeing a familiar catchphrase. Inserting “in America” between two lines of a fanfiction isn’t going to illicit a laugh. We’re not a bunch of geeky preteen cretins. I can guarantee you virtually no one here will be reading your mock with a catchphrase t-shirt, or something from Halolz or whatever the fuck it’s called. Faggoty video game “joke” shirts. That crap. Your jokes should go over with EVERYONE, not just people in some loop, in some clique, or in some obscure little niche. If you’re interested in pandering to idiotic, convention-hopping dill-holes, please take your business elsewhere. We’d rather be entertained.


Mykan, Mykan, Mykan…
By: Al-Cone

I was the first person on Project AFTER to take a swing at Mykan’s work. That in mind, you’d think I’d be all for regularly eviscerating his impressively awful canon of work, right? Well, yes and no. I’m all for it; it’s just very rarely ever done well.

The upshot to using Mykan’s work is that he has a nearly inexhaustible supply of bad writing to choose from. The downside to that is how oversaturated with Mykan’s work the mockeries subforum has become. If it isn’t Fallout: Equestria or some other lame brony fic, it’s Starfleet Ponies this, or Digiballs: Digital Faggots that. Where’s the variety?

For that matter, Mykan’s work doesn’t mock itself. Posting a mock of one of Mykan’s pieces doesn’t guarantee that you’ll turn in quality work automatically. You still need to put in the effort to make fun of the story, and, sadly, few people bother to do that. Most jokes at Mykan’s expense are, well, directed at Mykan himself, not so much at the story itself. There’re only so many ways you can call the man a hack writer before it gets old, you know? Put some effort in.

And another thing! Threads about Mykan’s work inevitably turn into threads about Mykan himself, where people discuss Mykan, unrelated Mykan stories, Mykan’s reactions to the mock, Mykan’s comments on x, his feelings on y, his stance on the capital gains tax--enough. Mock the story. Fuck Mykan and fuck his opinions; you don’t need to pay him any more attention than the bare minimum necessary to mock his fanfiction. Discussing how pathetic he is is redundant, pointless, and masturbatory. We get it. He gets it. It’s overdone.

One last note: Many, many people develop some form of sympathy for him, and take it upon themselves to “understand” and “fix” him, as if they’re fully qualified and trained therapists who can turn around the life of a man who’s pushing thirty (and over the internet, no less). You’re not. You can’t help him, you can’t talk to him, you can’t get through to him, so don’t engage him. You waste your time, and you bog down your thread with more of that unnecessary, redundant, pointless, masturbatory discussion that I just now said was not a good thing to have.

----------------------------------------


Well, you’ve read our guide. You’ve read about concrit, effort, and hitting on sexy blondes at the bar. And you’re probably sick to death of the word “mock”! Hopefully, however, you got something out of this. We wrote this guide to help everyone, and no matter if you’re a greenhorn or an old hand, we hope we succeeded in some way. We all know it can be difficult to balance “I want to make something of quality” and “Dude, you’re making fun of fanfictions”, but we believe in you. After all, you thought PA was worth following, that says something!

Now, to go ask Moab for forgiveness…

This post has been edited by oneluckyduck: Jul 28 2014, 05:52 PM


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post Aug 30 2013, 04:45 PM
On the plus side this is a pretty amazing informative piece of literary guide for future mocks that I'm probably gonna follow a little.

On the down side I'm kinda disappointed I wasn't part of it.




Is there any example of a character based mock on here?

This post has been edited by L.A.D.: Aug 30 2013, 04:49 PM


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I mock pony shit.

Brony Author Dropped off the Earth
Shut the Blinds I got bored. ):<
Royal Call Author Dropped off the Earth
Hormones
Proving Your Worth
a new friend
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post Aug 30 2013, 04:45 PM
Excellent.
Can we sticky this thread.


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post Aug 30 2013, 05:01 PM
QUOTE (L.A.D. @ Aug 30 2013, 05:45 PM) *
On the down side I'm kinda disappointed I wasn't part of it.

We weren't aiming to include everyone on the forums, nor were we aiming to include every funny person. The group of people we chose were chosen for a reason. Maybe they were good at the topic, maybe they had experience, or maybe they had the general ability to write about it and were at the right place at the right time.


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post Aug 30 2013, 05:02 PM
Love how we said we'd have examples of shitty mocks and only Max bothered with it tongue.gif


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post Aug 30 2013, 05:03 PM
QUOTE (GFW @ Aug 31 2013, 03:02 AM) *
Love how we said we'd have examples of shitty mocks and only Max bothered with it tongue.gif

I didn't actually write that mini fanfic-bit.


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I have had a vision. It has been revealed to me by the secret chiefs of the world that I am sexier than Buddha and harder than Jesus. I cannot die.
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IN ORAL SEEEX
Paragon: I will literally pay you in oral sex if you go on a call and sing that entire song [Little Girls by Oingo Boingo] for us and record it
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Paragon: I think Max is rapidly becoming the new pimp of PA
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post Aug 30 2013, 05:05 PM
QUOTE (GFW @ Aug 30 2013, 08:02 PM) *
Love how we said we'd have examples of shitty mocks and only Max bothered with it tongue.gif

My section was shitty enough already, OK.


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Index of horrible mocks

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post Aug 30 2013, 05:12 PM
Having intentionally bad examples, for those who didn't see, was one of the original ideas thrown out. However, instead of putting it in at the end, most people integrated examples into their writing itself.


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post Aug 30 2013, 05:30 PM
QUOTE (L.A.D. @ Aug 30 2013, 08:45 PM) *
On the down side I'm kinda disappointed I wasn't part of it.



QUOTE
or maybe realize you don’t need the validation of people you barely know on the internet to make yourself feel better.

just saying


This post has been edited by xoxjoanxox: Aug 30 2013, 05:35 PM


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QUOTE (9/13/2013 3:49:17 PM Max-Vader:)
YOU KNOW NOTHING, JOAN SNOW

QUOTE (Master of AFTER @ Feb 5 2014, 05:08 AM) *
I Was the Drink: The Joan Cheng Story

QUOTE (Screaming Soulcatcher)
Joan are you the straightest shota
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post Aug 30 2013, 05:43 PM
Any feedback on the Guide itself? Critique? Praise? Offerings of virgin bodies, wine and gold?


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post Aug 30 2013, 05:45 PM
I thought it was interesting.






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QUOTE (Shmeckie @ Dec 24 2014, 07:01 AM) *
what is it like being the black chris chan?

if you two combine will you turn into a glowing yin yang symbol that morphs into a giant chinese dragon with no social skills?



QUOTE (Master of AFTER @ Sep 16 2015, 01:56 AM) *
Don't you get it? If we take all the physically attractive fictional characters and make them hideous, society might lower its standards of beauty enough that all the basement-dwelling human blobs with bad skin will be able to leave their parents' houses without everyone shrieking in terror as they race to the nearest church to repent for their sins.


QUOTE (truthordeal @ Feb 1 2016, 02:39 PM) *
What do Monty Oum and the Fine Bros have in common?

Their downfalls were brought about by a bad reaction.
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post Aug 30 2013, 05:48 PM
QUOTE (oneluckyduck @ Aug 30 2013, 08:43 PM) *
Any feedback on the Guide itself? Critique? Praise? Offerings of virgin bodies, wine and gold?

I thought it was entertaining and insightful!


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Index of Mocks

Pokemon HeartGold Randomized LP

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Mykan: Paragon part of me wnats to see you chained to the wall
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post Aug 30 2013, 06:30 PM
This actually made me laugh out loud as I was reading it.

That being said I did find this very helpful.


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post Aug 30 2013, 06:32 PM
QUOTE (Paragon @ Aug 30 2013, 10:48 PM) *
I thought it was entertaining and insightful!


I second that. It pretty much covers everything that there is to know.

Now, this may sound silly but, reading this makes me feel a bit nostalgic. Back when I joined this forum, there was nothing resembling a guide about how to mock so, I took myself to read the works of most of the people who wrote this to have an idea of what to do.

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post Aug 30 2013, 06:42 PM
QUOTE (Dashguy @ Aug 31 2013, 03:32 AM) *
I second that. It pretty much covers everything that there is to know.

Now, this may sound silly but, reading this makes me feel a bit nostalgic. Back when I joined this forum, there was nothing resembling a guide about how to mock so, I took myself to read the works of most of the people who wrote this to have an idea of what to do.


I hope for your sake I wasn't one of those people!

And this guide is amaaaazing, nice to see random Skype ideas come to such wonderful fruition!


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post Aug 30 2013, 06:43 PM
I think that I would have really appreciated a guide like this back during my one foray into writing a mock. You've all put in a good bit of effort and I like how well-rounded the contributor selections were, from the ultra-caustic types like Max and Schmekie to the more...for lack of a better word, "light-hearted" types. Either way, there were tons of very funny people contributing, and at the risk of sounding like a parrot, the guide was very informative.

I'm also glad I'm not the only one that sort of glosses over most of the pony mocks. The Fallout Equestria one is supposed to be the magnum opus of pony mocks, but there's just so much of it.


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post Aug 30 2013, 06:59 PM
Great work. Gonna have to admit that I'm actually a bit guilty of most of the things on here, but I'll make sure to keep it in mind in the future.
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post Aug 30 2013, 07:02 PM
I think it was well about time we had something of this sort. And better still, produced by a community effort rather than just Alex or someone else, so that different ideas of how to do things and how to present those instructions can come together and create something dynamic and interesting, rather than something that is a chore to read through.

Of course, I am hardly innocent of some of these faults. Then again, I think all of us were at some point or another.


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Current Mocks:
One Less Lonely Gurl: Complete
My Brave Pony: Star Fleet Magic II: Complete
Teen Titans and the Yu-Gi-Oh! Card Game: Complete
The Seventh Art: Part the Third of the Necromancers of China Saga: Complete
Calvin and Hobbes in Kingdom Hearts: Complete
The Time Rift: Part the Fifth of The Necromancers of China Saga: Complete
The Witching Hour: Cancelled
The Rise of Darth Vulcan: In Progress

QUOTE (CuChulainn1290 @ Dec 20 2013, 11:04 PM) *
I guarantee you. Bitcoin will nuke itself in the next five years. Quote me on it.
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post Aug 30 2013, 07:50 PM
QUOTE (Professor Pineapple @ Aug 30 2013, 08:02 PM) *
I think it was well about time we had something of this sort. And better still, produced by a community effort rather than just Alex or someone else, so that different ideas of how to do things and how to present those instructions can come together and create something dynamic and interesting, rather than something that is a chore to read through.

Of course, I am hardly innocent of some of these faults. Then again, I think all of us were at some point or another.


There's a reason I try to discourage people from reading the pre-2009 chapters of SMLoZ. They aren't very good, and they demonstrate many of the things which this guide advises against.

'Course, that's to be expected, since even the mightiest of oaks was, at one point in its life, a mere Shinji Ikari boner.

QUOTE
I'm also glad I'm not the only one that sort of glosses over most of the pony mocks. The Fallout Equestria one is supposed to be the magnum opus of pony mocks, but there's just so much of it.


The Fallout: Equestria mock is great in theory, but it seldom updates and doesn't have much variety when it comes to the crew behind it. There's a reason I limit how many chapters I want to take on myself.


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QUOTE (theabhorrentatrocity @ Aug 15 2015, 02:25 PM) *
daddy longleg spiders are scary as they're one of the most poisonous spiders so not much of an over reaction.


A list of mocks can now be found on my profile page!
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xoxjoanxox


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post Aug 30 2013, 08:03 PM
QUOTE (Al_Cone @ Aug 30 2013, 11:50 PM) *
The Fallout: Equestria mock is great in theory, but it seldom updates and doesn't have much variety when it comes to the crew behind it. There's a reason I limit how many chapters I want to take on myself.


Still waiting on your update for 50 Shades of Gray.

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QUOTE (9/13/2013 3:49:17 PM Max-Vader:)
YOU KNOW NOTHING, JOAN SNOW

QUOTE (Master of AFTER @ Feb 5 2014, 05:08 AM) *
I Was the Drink: The Joan Cheng Story

QUOTE (Screaming Soulcatcher)
Joan are you the straightest shota
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