My Little Fetish: Friendship is Kinky, FUCK YOU BRONIES Options

[Max-Vader]

Readers of the "We Hate Bronies"-thread may remember an astonishing piece of shit I once linked to: My Little Fetish: Friendship is Kinky. It's a "choose your own adventure"-type story that everyone can contribute to and where every fetish is allowed. In other words, all of the most depraved Bronies have come together to create a monument of spectacular awfulness that contains every horrible fetish imaginable.
Now, how the hell do I mock a multiple-choice-fanfiction? That's where YOU come into play! It's time for...

COMMUNITY PARTICIPATION!

Yes, after every chapter, you people get to decide which path our female earth-pony protagonist should pursue! What fetishes will we get to see? It all depends on how much you hate yourself/me. But before I give you the source of your future nightmares and therapy session bills, I shall give you a few choice words from the Brony we can thank for all this and who goes by the name of Godot. Because everyone needs a laugh.

I like to think myself a pornographic renaissance man, and with the growing interest in MLP:FiM, we need a QUALITY fetish interactive. That is why I'm going to tell you what I want to see out there. You may call them rules, I will call them STANDARDS.[...]
Here, in this circle of love and tolerance, you will not be judged by the nature of your fetishes, but by the quality of your writing! I will not tolerate flamewars. We are all bronies here.[...]
Now get out there and make me proud.[...]
Edit- MLF:FiK has not only broken TWENTY THOUSAND HITS, it has also received an award for "Best Interactive Fetish Story on Writing.Com", given to us by the incredibly wise and handsome AnimeLover55.
I personally want to thank this grand human being for taking time out of his busy schedule of banging every woman on the planet twice and fighting dinosaurs to declare us the absolute best. Suck it everyone else!

I think you will all agree when I say: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Now, onto the actual first chapter! Let's get it started!

Chapter 1: Welcome to Ponyville
Just above the skyline, a few Pegasus Ponies swoop into view. They bring with them a gust of wind that sweeps back the clouds blotting the air, letting the sun shine down.

Until Pinkie Pie jumps you from behind and yells "SURPRISE BUTTSEX!"

Your soft, smooth coat bristles at the warmth, and you raise your head up from the patch of grass you had been resting in. Your large, beautiful eyes slowly open and the glow of the misty morning light filters in, shaking off whatever last bits of sleep were still in your mind. A modest yawn escapes your delicately pouting lips, and you stretch, first your rear, then your front. Another soft yawn, more of a sigh really, drifts out of your mouth as your supple limbs relax.

This prose is a bit too purple considering this is a story about ponies fucking.

You are a Pony. A simple, earth pony. Your name didn't matter, you moved around a lot, so your name often was whatever you felt it should be at the time.

Cream Pie, Spiked Dildo, Princess Buttplug...

You had a light orange body which looked softer than a creamsicle, atop your head was a curly mane of purple strands, wispy like cotton candy, that hung down both sides of your head.

Bodyparts should not be able to be described as if they are edible, unless you are the gingerbread man.

Your tail, poofy and had a tendency to bounce as you walked. Occasionally it would bounce too high, and reveal your puffy pink labia to onlookers, and sometimes even your tightly puckered tailhole. Not that you minded, of course.

Oh, of course. This is a clopfic, so who the hell are we kidding? We all know the reason Bronies read this.

This was your first day in Ponyville, and you had fallen asleep just before reaching it in a small forest clearing that overlooked the town. And now, properly rested, you are ready to have your first adventure in Ponyville. You were so eager to meet new friends, and to experience everything this famous small town had to offer.

Like Pinkie Pie's amazing cupcakes. I hear they're worth dying for.

The food was supposed to be legendary, and the Ponies were some of the friendliest around.
But as you walked down the gentle slopping knoll that lead to town, you couldn't help but get a certain something stuck in your head. You found yourself feeling...

We get to your first decision, people! And it's the most important one for how this story will unfold, so don't fuck this up - if not for my sake, then for yours! How should our female ponytagonist feel?

Hungry?

Bloated?

Angry?

Curious?

Lonely?

Oh, and one last thing. No spoilers! If you clinically need to cheat by reading ahead and seeing what your choices will lead to, please do not spoil the surprise for the other readers. It wouldn't be fair.

This post has been edited by Max-Vader: Jan 7 2012, 09:50 AM

[GFW]

Angry, get a bloody massacre going.

[P Dot Alex]

Seconding Angry.

[Kirby2000]

It's picking time!

...Hungry because I'm hungry.

[Professor Pineapple]

I shall choose Bloated, simply to see where it leads.

[T_K_17]

Retrieve hooves from chest.

I mean hungry.

[DragonVan]

No, I'm not gonna encourage sudden Rage!Pony, so I'm gonna say... hungry.
Yes.

[YTB]

I vote bloated due to just how little fucking sense that actually makes.

This post has been edited by YTB: Jan 7 2012, 09:37 AM

[JakAttack]

I've seen angry, so I'm saying hungry. I've seen it also, but damnit, It's breakfast tima here.

Oh, and damnit, I totally forgot to start this up. Oh well, you'll do a better job than me, anyway.

EDIT: Oh yeah, and by "women", I'm pretty sure they mean "realdolls". And "dinosuars" is "crippling insanity".

This post has been edited by JakAttack: Jan 7 2012, 10:30 AM

[Max-Vader]

So, your choice is hungry.

You chose... poorly.

But I gave my word, so here we go.

Chapter 2: Got the munchies?
Yes, that's it! You're very hungry!

GET IN MAH BELLY!

Being the silly pony that you are, you completely forgot to pack food for the trip over, and are practically starving!

Retardation seems to spread amongst ponies quite fast.

In the last town you visited, there were so many delicious things to eat, just thinking about it makes your mouth water. And Ponyville is renowned for its cuisine!

Insert cupcakes-joke here.

Oh boy, you can barely wait!
You go from a slow trot into a full blown gallop and sprint into town, only stopping briefly to ask for directions to the market square. From there, it's easy to scope out the various restaurants available.

I wonder if ponyville has a McDonalds.

You lick your soft lips, your belly was practically audible even in the busy bustle of the afternoon shoppers.

"HULK HUNGRY! HULK EAT!"

Glancing around, you spot a few choice shops. Ponies mostly eat two things, vegetation and sweets, Ponyville had plenty of both. You think you're in the mood for...

Fucking, I presume. Anyway, choice time. What should our meal be today?

1. Some veggies and fruit!

2. A savory snack of scrumptious sweets!

3. Oh no... you're not planning on eating a p-p-pony... are you?

[P Dot Alex]

Taking number 1. Number 3 is basically yelling "LEMME RUIN YOUR LIFE" and number 2 doens't sound too convincing either.

[Felloffalot]

Yeah, I'll go with number one too, so I can get through at least a bit of this mock without being disturbed.

[Kirby2000]

I pick a savory snack of scrumptious sweets because I like sweets.

[GFW]

One.

[YTB]

Let's go against the grain and pick three. Because I hate you all.

[Max-Vader]

You guys catch on awfully quick, do you? Let's see if it's quick enough. Veggies it is.

Chapter 3: The healthy choice!

But not awfully healthy for your sanity...

The bright sun shining on you and the fresh air blowing through your mane has certainly put you in the mood for some of nature's finest! An orange haired pony seems to be selling carrots and carrot juice, so you stop by her first.
"Hello there Miss!" She says, with a warm smile, "Interested in some of Carrot Top's Carrots?"

My God, that was so funny, I feel the need to castrate myself.

"Yes please!" You say, "I'll take two of your freshest, and a cup of Carrot juice too!"
Carrot Top turns to the wagon of veggies behind her stand and grabs two bright orange veggies, holding them in her teeth by the greens. She slaps them down on the counter, and nudges a paper cup over to a jug containing the creamy orange brew.

I hope that one doesn't have any... y'know, special flavor added to it, Chris-Chan style...

She bites down on the tap, the juice flows out, and she passes the cup over as well. You're just about to reach into your saddlebag to pay, when Carrot Top asks,
"Hey, are you from around here?"
"Oh, no, I'm Orange Cream.

Pie.

I just arrived here today."
"Well shoot, consider these on the house!"
You smile and scoop up the snacks, carefully placing the cup on your back to carry it. After thanking the kind mare, you find a nice little spot by a tree to enjoy them. And you do enjoy them.

Please not with your "other" mouth.

You start on one of the carrots, and get a little too excited, nearly choking on it.

What is this, a Dilbert-comic?!

You slow your pace, savoring the feeling of the carrot chunks sliding down your throat. They were rich and crunchy, the best carrots you'd ever had, and so delicious your mouth was overflowing with drool.

Orange Creampie doesn't seem to ever have learned any table matters. And yes, I will be making that joke every time I say her name.

You grab the cup with your teeth, and tilt your head back, guzzling down the sweet juices. The carrot juice washes down the meal nicely, and you let out a satisfied sigh. Though you're not entirely full yet.

This calls for some Pony-burgers as dessert.

You look around the marketplace for another veggie stand, but instead come across an apple cart, one without an owner. You glance up one side of the market, then the other, and no one in sight seems to take notice of the unmanned cart. Taking advantage of the opportunity, you snatch up an apple in your mouth, and are surprised by how deliciously juicy they turn out to be!

I think this qualifies as Mundraub. Too bad for you that law has been abolished...

This place has the best produce around, you have to say. You throw your head up and catch the apple in your mouth, crunching it with one quick bite. Sweetest thing you've ever tasted, without a doubt. You wipe some of the drool and applejuice from your lips, and are just about to leave when you hear,
"What in tarnation do you think you're doing stealing mah apples?"

BUSTED!

You freeze up, caught red-handed as it were. You turn around to your captor, who is...

Time for another descision, gang! Who is it?

1. A mare in a cowboy hat

2. A large red stallion with calm eyes

3. A little redheaded blankflank filly.

[Kirby2000]

I guess I pick A little redheaded blankflank filly because...ok this time I don't get a reason beside the fact that it the three choice of the third chose your own thingy of the third chapter...ok so the last two was pretty much the same thing but I need the rules of three.

This post has been edited by Kirby2000: Jan 7 2012, 02:34 PM

[GFW]

2nd I guess.

[R1NGmasterJ5]

Three. Let's see how deranged this gets.

[T_K_17]

Going with 2. I know Big Mac doesn't actually talk like that, but I want to stay away from 3.