If I Was Your Nazi or If This Was Readable, Marth, Waffleman, Maniak, YTB and more! Options

[DraculaMarth]

Hey, you know what's awesome? Kingdom Hearts yaoi featuring Organization XIII! You know what else is awesome? The Holocaust! So when you combine them, it becomes even more awesome! And by awesome, of course I mean terrible. Ever since I saw this story on the SBIH page of TV Tropes and saw that it went unmocked here, I knew that it was my destiny to rip this story a new one. But then it got taken off of FF.net, and now the only place you can find it is an abridged version mocked by the Snakes on a Sora LiveJournal community. I was crushed. So when Draccy came to me and said he'd saved the whole thing and offered the chance to team up and mock it, I jumped at the chance.

Honestly, I have no idea why I even saved it. I guess I was going to make a mock of it, but got caught up in a bunch of other mocks like STNC and Total Drama Torture. However, now we can mock it and best of all, the chances that the author will bitch us out on her FF.Net page are near non-existent


I think I should have looked before I lept. Enjoy.

As you may have guessed, Waffle is using Orange and I am using my old color again


Disclaimer: Would I like to own the Third Reich? um...no?

And we're off to a good start right away!

It's Mika-chan!

Really? According to your ff.net profile, it's XFamousXLastXWordsX. Whatever, It's Mika-chan now.

I write so many chapers of WWII for Roulette, this one just came to mind!

You wrote Roulette chapters about WWII and thought "what if I made a horrible fanfic where Kingdom Hearts characters meet Hitler?"

Makes perfect sense.

No, I am NOT a Nazi (Yes, you are) , but i love learning about Nazi Germany.

I'm not a Nazi, I just desecrate the memories of the millions who died in one of the worst atrocities commited in the history of mankind on the Internet!

I have no idea why...I loved writing this first chapter and i hope you guys love reading it!

Now this might sound crazy, but I seriously doubt that

let the deadly tale begin!

When you're writing a story set in the Holocaust, I don't think "deadly" is the wisest word to describe it.

Axel ran through the streets of Berlin, dressed in his formal attire. He knew that the Führer would not be pleased if Axel was late for the meeting. Especially when Himmler had already told him to be at the Führerbunker at 11 sharp. Axel looked at his watch and learned that it was indeed 10:54.

Axel: Aw, man! I totally overslept and now I'm gonna be late for Nazi class! Mr. Hitler's gonna have my ass.

I kid, but this is the actual way the fic treats the subject matter sometimes.

He frantically took a shortcut through a side alley and found himself at his destination. After walking through the doors, the redhead found himself face-to-face with Himmler, the head of the SS and Axel's father.

Well, fuck. Not even two paragraphs in and I'm at a loss for words.

Axel stood straight and raised his right hand in the air at an angle in traditional Nazi fashion. After Himmler did the same, both men lowered their arms and became less formal.

So, Axel wears formal attire and runs to Hitler's Fortress of Doom to give a salute and then stop being formal?

"You are nearly late, Axel." Himmler said, looking disapprovingly at the redhead.

"My apologies." Axel said.

"The Führer is not ready yet." Himmler said.

"What is he doing?" Axel asked. "He told me to have my report done by today, did he not?"

Axel: I had to do a book report on "Mein Kampf." Why Hitler assigned me his own book, I don't know.

"That he did." Himmler said. "He is currently meeting with Riku right now."

So, when do they spontaneously kill Kairi like in every other Kingdom Hearts fanfic?

"If you say so…" Axel said. "Have you seen Roxas yet, Father?"

"He is with Goebbles at the moment." Himmler said. "Why?"

I have to admit, I love Goebbles' name, just for how its spelled and how radically different it's pronounced.

"I wanted to speak with him." Axel said. "He is my friend, after all."

"And you could not have chosen a better friend." Himmler said. "He is the perfect Aryan."

Himmler was referring to the "perfect German": the Aryan. Anyone who was not Aryan, that is to say blonde hair and blue eyes, was often looked down upon.

That's....an understatement.

A Huge Understatement.

P.S: The Aryans were a group from the Middle East

Axel was only a Nazi because his father was a very important man in the Third Reich. Himmler had allowed his son to get his current job: aiding the running of Bergen-Belsen. Axel didn't really like the job, but he figured he should take anything he got.

Axel: Man, running this concentration camp is such a drag. I guess it's a living.

I was not lying last time about how the subject of the Holocaust is treated.

Wait, so basically it's a summer job, but instead of working at McDonald's, you kill innocent people?

"It's not because he is Aryan, Father." Axel said. "We have a lot in common."

Except you really have nothing in common.

"If you say so." Himmler didn't quite believe his son, but knew that it would be pointless to tell him otherwise.

Why would he NOT believe him?

"Do you know when he will be done?" Axel asked.

"I have no idea." Himmler said.

"Well, I'm going to see of the Führer is ready for me yet." Axel said.

He gave his father the Nazi salute and left for the lower levels of the bunker. He found Hitler's office on the 3rd floor, or rather, the 3rd floor underground.

UGH.

After knocking twice, he waited for the Führer's permission to enter. Upon entering, Axel's peridot eyes
Get used to this eye shit. It doesn't stop.

found Adolf Hitler sitting at his desk, reading the Nazi newspaper.

Ahahahahaha, he's just reading "the Nazi newspaper." Am I the only one who finds that choice of words hee-larious?

Well, duh! Everyone knows Nazi Germany had only one newspaper

When he saw that Axel was present, both men stood up, saluted each other, then sat back down.

"I trust you have the report?" Hitler said.

"Yes, sir." Axel said.

He opened the folder he was holding and read from the report. "2,000 Jews were admitted into Bergen-Belsen last week. Of that number, 948 men, 153 women, and 57 children were killed. Their bodies were burned in the crematoriums."

"How were they killed?" Hitler asked.

"Some were killed immediately by gas chambers, some were shot." Axel informed Hitler. "All others were put to work and died from exhaustion."

"Very good, very good." Hitler said to himself.

......Sigh.

Incidentially, this is a romance fic, because nothing say "I love you" like dead Jewish people.

"Is there anything else, mein Führer?" Axel asked.

"I've been thinking of entering you in the SS." Hitler said. "You have already met the required needs to join."

"If you may permit my asking, sir, why should I be in the SS?" Axel asked.

He had never thought of himself being in the SS. He didn't like being in the death camps, but what good what he be in the SS?

Something else you'll take note of: Characters having a more modern mindset and opinion about the whole Holocaust thing when historically, they should be thinking "KILL THE JEW DOGS! HEIL HITLER!"

I feel bad typing that.

Did you know that Axel is considering being in the SS? Well, Axel is considering being in the SS.

"I think you would benefit being in the SS." Hitler said.

Well son of a bitch. That's a good argument!
"Why should I be in the SS?"
"Because you should be in the SS"
"Can't argue with logic like that!"

"When do you want me to start, sir?" Axel asked.

Even in this fanfic, Hitler's a very persuasive guy.

"I would like you to start on Monday." Hitler said. "You can find out more information if you need it from your father, I expect."

"Is that all, mein Führer?" Axel asked.

"It is." Hitler said. "You are dismissed."

Both men gave the Nazi salute and Axel left the office. He ran down the hall and up the stairs in search of Roxas. He crashed into the blonde on the stairwell between the second and first floors.

SPOILER ALERT: Axel and Roxas are going to be gay for each other. But seriously, this is a Kingdom Hearts fic. Is it that much of a surprise?

"Axel, slow down." Roxas smiled at his friend's hyperactivity.

"Roxas! I was just coming to find you. Guess what the Führer told me?" Axel asked, dragging Roxas up the rest of the stairs.

Axel: He told me you suck and that I should have your Xbox!

"What?" Roxas asked his friend as they made it outside the Führerbunker.

"I'm going to be in the SS! on American Idol!" Axel jumped up and down.

"Wow! Congrats, Axel! You'll be with me now." Roxas was also in the SS.

"I know!" Axel smiled.

"So when do you start?" Roxas asked as they went down to the corner market for some lunch.

"On Monday." Axel replied. "I can't wait! I mean, I'll be with you all day!"

Gaaaaaay~

"Did the Führer say that?" Roxas asked.

"No, but I think I will be." Axel said. "I mean, he knows that we're best friends, so he should put us together."

"I'm rounding up Jews on Monday." Roxas said. "Maybe I can convince the Führer to let you come with me."

Yee-haw! Let's git them doggies!

"That would be great." Axel said with a smile. "Where are you rounding?"

"5th, 6th, 7th, 8th and 13th streets." Roxas said. "Your dad has me doing serious errands, you know?"

Not 13th! It's bad luck!

"Dad's a bit crazy sometimes." Axel said. "But I wouldn't be working here if he wasn't my father."

Heinrich Himmler is "a bit crazy sometimes." >:T

Mika-Chan is just on a roll with these understatements today!

"I better meet up with Marluxia, Zexion and Saïx." Roxas said. "I'm supposed to meet them at Xemnas' apartment. I guess I'll see you tomorrow? You're coming to my place, right?"

"Sure." Axel said with a nod. "I'll see you then."

Roxas gave a smile then a wave and walked off. As Axel watched the blonde go, an uneasy feeling erupted in his stomach.

He realized what kind of fanfic he's gotten himself into

Axel had a feeling he knew what this feeling was. He'd felt it when he'd seen some cute girls back at grade school. But if he was in love with Roxas, he would be gay, which was looked down upon by Nazis. What was a guy to do?

AND THEY DO NOT WASTE ANY TIME. They know what the readers want!

Yes, Himmler is Axel's father. It fits. the guy had so many illigetimate children...review?

No. It does not.

Talk about whiplash!

"Yeah, Himmler was a deadbeat dad and OH MY GOD PLEASE REVIEW MY STORY LOL!"

next chapter: word of the death camps comes to Axel and Roxas

How do they not know about them? Axel's helping to RUN one!

I hate you, DraculaMarth.

I know you do

This post has been edited by DraculaMarth: Jul 17 2011, 08:18 AM

[Waffleman]

Just imagine us both playing Typing of the Dead, except with Nazis instead of zombies and jokes instead of random nonsense.

And another note, I don't know what Himmler looks like, but I always picture him looking like the Major from Hellsing. Please don't post any photos of him. I prefer my illusion.

[Soren Highwind]

I- ju- WHO WRITES THIS CRAP?! Who the hell takes WORLD WAR MOTHERFUCKING II and mixes it with KINGDOM MOTHERFUCKING HEARTS?! Fuck you, Mika-chan! FUCK YOU!!

[Screaming_Soulcatcher]

You actually are doing this...I would never think that this day would come.

Thank god you two are great at mocking this otherwise I fell like a horrible person reading this. Fuck this author. Fuck the kingdom hearts fandom.

[shiroamasa]

You guys are awesome.

[Maniak]

No, not again. AM I NOT EVEN SAFE FROM THIS SHIT ON PA?!

Sorry a little... psychotic episode. I have my own perosnal problem with this crap, mocking it at the moment in my native language with a few other guys.
... as soon as I get the plot around the msting working.
So, you are actually going to mock the shit out of it.
.... May I join in?
*twitches*
Come on, I am german and KH fan. Let me at least defend my own nationality, the fandom and give the cunt who wrote this crap also a kick in the ass for the idea to turn genocide in a plot background for a high school romance.

[Waffleman]

No, not again. AM I NOT EVEN SAFE FROM THIS SHIT ON PA?!

Sorry a little... psychotic episode. I have my own perosnal problem with this crap, mocking it at the moment in my native language with a few other guys.
... as soon as I get the plot around the msting working.
So, you are actually going to mock the shit out of it.
.... May I join in?
*twitches*
Come on, I am german and KH fan. Let me at least defend my own nationality, the fandom and give the cunt who wrote this crap also a kick in the ass for the idea to turn genocide in a plot background for a high school romance.

Depends on what Drac says.

And for those readers who just can't stand waiting for the next part, we have a mock by the Snakes on a Sora LiveJournal group! As I said in the OP, this mock doesn't have the full text, it summarizes some short parts, whether that's due to LiveJournal rules or just keeping it interesting. If it's not apparent, read the posts from the bottom of the list up.

This post has been edited by Waffleman: Nov 16 2010, 02:57 PM

[DraculaMarth]

.... May I join in?
*twitches*
Come on, I am german and KH fan. Let me at least defend my own nationality, the fandom and give the cunt who wrote this crap also a kick in the ass for the idea to turn genocide in a plot background for a high school romance.

Of course you can join in. The more the merrier. Well, merrier is the incorrect word. This is If I Was Your Nazi.

[Waffleman]

Of course you can join in. The more the merrier. Well, merrier is the incorrect word. This is If I Was Your Nazi.

The more the....less miserable.

[YTB]

JESUS CHRIST, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT? WHO THE HELL WOULD EVEN FUCKING WRITE SUCH A GOD DAMNED FUCKING RETARDED IDIOTIC OFFENSIVE PILE OF SHIT? WHY THE HELL WOULD ANYONE THINK THIS WAS A GOOD FUCKING IDEA? GOD DAMNED FUCKING IDIOTS.

Now that I've gotten that out of my system, can I help, too?

[DraculaMarth]

JESUS CHRIST, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT? WHO THE HELL WOULD EVEN FUCKING WRITE SUCH A GOD DAMNED FUCKING RETARDED IDIOTIC OFFENSIVE PILE OF SHIT? WHY THE HELL WOULD ANYONE THINK THIS WAS A GOOD FUCKING IDEA? GOD DAMNED FUCKING IDIOTS.

Now that I've gotten that out of my system, can I help, too?

Jesus Christ! Everyone want's a piece of the action, huh? Well, YTB, you can join too, but that's it. No more guests. Otherwise, it will just turn into a clusterfuck

[YTB]

FUCK YES! In your face, other people!

[Waffleman]

Damn, this mock got big.

[DraculaMarth]

Colors for future reference

White- Fanfic
Orange: Waffleman
Red: Maniak
Purple: DraculaMarth
Gray: YTB


So, chapter two starts now and...

NOT SO FUCKING FAST!

What the?

What are you guys trying to pull up here?

...Maniak? What are you doing here?

The usual. Searching for a few funny videos, hoping Mykan did something so stupid (again) that it justifies a mock of his 7teen stories... finding out that you guys are going to mock this piece of insulting garbage I tried to escape from for almost a year now!


You what? Escape from a fanfic?

If I was your Nazi? Please I am a Kingdom Hearts fan and German. Do you think I don`t know about this crap that makes „Till the end of time“ look decent and takes a piss on the millions of people dying during World War II?

I can see how you would be offended.

Well, not all Germans were Nazis. Also, beside a small minority of Neo Nazis we can`t get rid of, no one in our country nowadays is very proud of the crime against mankind we once commited.

Okay, good to know. You gonna let us mock this now?

No, I stay here. Me and a few others are trying to mock this thing in German for a couple of months now, so I know what is going to come in this story. And I want to see the last bit of tolerance against badfic writers you hold break while reading this crap, just because you were stupid enough to bring this abomination up on PA.

Tolerance? This is a fanfic about GAY NAZIS! What kind of idiot would have any tolerance for this author?

Well, if you want I can give you a bit of historical information here and there. That is if I can suppress my urge to strangle some Nazi Nobodies.

//Dude, what a dick//

... Ok, then. Let's not argue. The longer we argue, the longer this fanfic is going to take


NOT SO FUCKING FAST AGAIN. I hate Nazis as much as the next guy, I'm getting in on this too.
YTB, too? When did everyone decide to show up? Does anyone else want to join in?


*cricket chirp*

Okay then


Disclaimer: I don't own the Third Reich, Adolf Hitler, KH or anything.


Also she doesn`t own any kind of compassion for the victims of the Holocaust. Or a brain for that matter.

I really do not think you need a disclaimer about Adolf Hitler or the Nazi army. No one's assuming you own them and no one's gonna sue you.

But i own the plot

And I bet you're just so proud /sarcasm

She doesn't really own the plot, either. It's not like she can actually copyright this shit, not that anyone would actually want to copy this shit.

Oh, wait.

It's Mika-chan! i didn't think so many people would like this!

Who would like this crap? Members of the KKK?

I'm convinced that she looked at the reviews of her story, went "Look how many there are! People must love me!" and never bothered to read them, because otherwise, she would have seen a lot of people telling her this is a bad idea.

Actually, I saved some of the reviews too and some were indeed positive. Don't ask why I saved the reviews


Also Wha-Wha-What? People LIKED this bullshit?

WHAT? Are you shitting me? Really? REALLY?

But i'm glad so many do. this is going to be a short one, but i'm planning on the next one being longer. on with the deadly tale!

Axel walked up 21st Jump Street to the apartments. Where was the redhead going?

To the apartments. What, do you have Alzheimer's, story?

To Roxas' apartment, of course.

Well, that just goes without saying

Himmler was delighted that his son's best friend was Aryan and allowed the two to hang out as often as possible.

But he was dying inside because his own son wasn't.

Axel couldn't understand why his father couldn't see that the redhead didn't care if Roxas was Aryan or not. To Axel, it didn't matter what someone looked like.



Yeah, as long as he could fuck it eventually.

Axel just doesn't have the Nazi mindset. He's still probably going to executed when the Red Army rolls in, though.

But Heinrich Himmler failed to see that

As long as he doesn't look like a Jew.

When Axel arrived at Roxas' apartment, he knocked on the door 4 times and waited for the blonde's permission to enter. After waiting a moment, Roxas opened the door looking like he had just walked out of a shower.


And no, that`s not the cut to the first dirty sex scene.


We don't know whose shower it was, but it was definitely A shower.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything." Axel said.


Roxas: Well, I am fucking Xion under the shower right now. Want to join?

Seriously, I would rather watch underage Kingdom Hearts characters fuck each other than reading this.

"No, it's ok." Roxas said as he stood back to let Axel enter.

"What are we going to do today?" Axel asked.


Roxas: The same thing we try every night Axel. Try to take over the Third Reich!

Wait, he asked what they are going to do today. And this is a story based on a pseudo Disney Franchise. Shouldn`t we put in a reference to „Phineas and Ferb“?
Does anyone on PA even watch that show? The only people I can think of that watch it are some underachievers in my English class and the author of "Total Drama Torture"


Damn.


"Chess?"

Whenever Axel went over to Roxas' house, they played chess. This was mainly because Axel wanted to learn how to play the game well and Roxas was a pretty good teacher. Sometimes they read classic novels like Macbeth or Othello, but most of the time, the two played chess.

Tl;dr AXEL AND ROXAS LIKE FUCKING CHESS!

MacBeth and Othello are plays, not novels. Why yes, I WAS in drama club in high school, why do you ask?

Also, I don`t think the Nazis were such big fans of a story featuring a black guy in Venice.

"I guess so." Roxas said. "Do you want to set the board up?"

"I call white." Axel said with a grin as he walked over to the coffee table in the small living room where the chessboard was laying.

Axel, you jokester. Wait, no. I meant idiot.

"Damn." Roxas said.

DAMN INDEED

"You should know by now that I always call white first." Axel said, lining up a row of ivory pawns closest to him.

"I really should, shouldn't I?" Roxas said, sitting opposite Axel at the small table.

We should have known that, right guys?


BOOOORRRRING!

The two played chess for a while. Roxas easily won the first match; Axel had accidentally moved his knight at the wrong time and left his king wide open for a checkmate.

Congratulations! No One Cares!

*Claps*

They were on their second game and Axel was contemplating where he should move his rook when several knocks sounded at the door. Rolling his cerulean eyes,

NEEDLESSLY FANCY COLORED EYE COUNT: 2

Do you know how much I hate this kind of thing? It makes me want to strangle something. Preferably small and furry.

Roxas left the table and went to open the door. Zexion, head of the death camp in Dachau, walked through the door, silver hair in his eyes as usual.


Incidentially, this is the first time I've ever heard of Nazis sporting emo haircuts

They didn`t. And to correct a little historical fact, Dachau wasn`t a death camp.

Did they just maim them there?
No. Look, the concentration camps were horrible places –and I know that is an understatement- but most of them were concipated as prisons for „minorities“ and political enemies. People died in those camps/were executed, but there existed only seven official death camps in which the only purpose it was to kill the people as soon as they set foot on the camp ground. I am not defending, I just want to get the facts right.


TL;DR

"What's up, Zexy?" Axel asked as he made his move.

Little known fact: Nazis loved pet names.

"What's shakin', terrible nickname?"

"Is that any way to greet a fellow Nazi?" Zexion reprimanded the redhead.


The proper way to greet a Nazi is with a baseball bat to the head.

"We're off duty, you know." Roxas said, eyes scanning the chessboard.

"It's a wonder you two still have jobs in the Third Reich." Zexion muttered as he sat down on the couch.


Axel: Well, good thing my daddy is Himmler I guess!

Zexion: "You guys are such slackers. If I was the manager of this McDeathCamp, you guys would be totally on dishwashing duty."

"Quit complaining and tell us what you're here for." Axel said.

"I have the information from Dachau." The silver haired Nazi reported.

"What is it?" Roxas asked, only mildly interested.

"500,000 Jews were admitted into Dachau in the last 10 days." Zexion began.

"500,000?" Axel's peridot eyes widened in surprise.

NEEDLESSLY FANCY COLORED EYE COUNT: 3

Yeah I am surprised to. According to my history book, Dachau only had around 200.000 during its entire 12 year long run. Overkill much?
Uh... They cloned the Jews so they could be put in a concentration camp twice?
"May I finish?" Zexion said acidly.

Let's not do a predictable Kanye West gag

"You will anyway." Roxas smiled.

"Of that number, 4,981 men, 1,037 women and 528 children are now dead." Zexion rambled on. "We have had to send mass orders of cyanide for experiments."

Sending mass orders of cyanide? Cyanide isn't something you can get in the mail by sending enough cereal boxtops!

"Larxene is going to love that." Axel said, referring to the main doctor at the death camp.


I know Larxene reads De Sade but a part of me still thinks the Holocaust would even be a stretch for her.

"Yes she will." Zexion said absentmindedly.

Yep, just some bros talkin' 'bout exterminating Jews, drinking a brew.

"Are the graves doing ok?" Roxas asked, making his move.

"They aren't living, Roxas." Axel said with a smile.

Ha ha ha ha! It's funny because thousands are dead!


Was that supposed to be funny?

Maybe if the audience is composed of hardcore Franz Kafka fans, but I don't think Mika-Chan is that smart.

"I meant if more need to be dug." Roxas rolled his cerulean eyes.

NEEDLESSLY FANCY COLORED EYE COUNT: 4

Didn't they either just dig big holes and put all the bodies in there or cremate them?

"Not yet." Zexion said. "We will in another month or so, but not now."


Zexion: The smell of over 100.000 dead people in the open fields will be so intoxicating during this time.

"I can ask Dad if he'll let us go up and dig some." Axel said.


Digging graves is so much fun.

"But digging graves in annoying."

IT IS NOT SOME SUMMER JOB. YOU ARE COMMITTING GENOCIDE.

"Than don't do it." Zexion rolled his eyes.

I'm sure Hitler would have been fine with skipping work

"Ok." Axel said, moving his bishop across the board.

"What are you two doing today?" Zexion asked.


Roxas: Well, Axel and I wanted to build a gigantic roller coaster, but Namine says she is going to tell Hitler about it.

I thought we weren't putting in Phineas and Ferb references. How did you get that past us?

I am German. That explains it all.

No it doesn`t![/

"Not being around you, for one." Roxas said.

What?

"We're playing chess, Zexy." Axel said. "I thought that would be obvious."

"Well, I'm going to meet Vexen and Marluxia in the Führerbunker." Zexion said.


The way he says it, it sounds as if te Fuehrerbunker is some kind of hot club.

I thought it was...

"Have fun with that." Axel said as Zexion left.

"He's insane." Roxas said, eyes fixed on the chess board in front of him.


As if the idea of writing a Nazi fanfiction about Kingdom Hearts is something a mental healthy person would do.

As if mocking this crap is also a sign of sanity.

Are you not mocking this thing also?

To quote Patrick Bateman: Did you know I am utterly insane?

BATMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN
I am also insane, in case you didn't figure that out.


"Then why is he in charge of one of the death camps, Roxie?" Axel said.

Because being insane helps when you're slaughtering people like animals.


Since when do you have to be sane in order to kill people?


"Roxie?" Roxas stared at the redhead in confusion. "Since when do you call me Roxie?"

"Since now." Axel said. "It's your new nickname."

Yep. This is a fluffy story. Set during the Holocaust.

"But you don't have a nickname." Roxas said, making his move. "Besides flaming pyro."


And why does he have the name? Does he like to burn communists with a flamethrower?

Flaming, huh? Not surprised given the plot

"Well, you can't add an –ie to the end of my name." Axel said, running his fingers through his flaming hair.

"Axelie." Roxas said.

Sounds kinda like that Super Nintendo game Axelay. Great, now I can't play Axelay without remembering this awful fanfic

"That doesn't sound right." Axel said, peridot eyes now surveying the board.

NEEDLESSLY FANCY COLORED EYE COUNT: 5

"Are you on duty tomorrow?" Roxas asked, playing with the R on the chain of the necklace that he always wore.

"No, but Dad's taking me to inspect a death camp in southern
Germany." Axel said with a groan. "I forget what it's called."

Himmler takes his kids on field trips to concentration camps?

"So I suppose that you can't hang out, huh?" Roxas said sadly.

"Maybe after the roundups on Monday." Axel said. "I feel like I'm going to need it."


Some people take a nap to relax. Axel is going to send people to their death.

"Axel, can I tell you something?" Roxas asked.

"You know you can tell me anything, Roxas." Axel said, leaning against the couch. "What is it?"


Roxas: I can`t stand it anymore that all the fangirls think I am gay for you! Do I have to sleep with Xion so that they shut up?

Roxas opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again and said nothing.

"I can't tell you." Roxas said.

Roxas: "Can I tell you something?"
Axel: "Yeah."
Roxas: "NO I CAN'T!"

"What?" Axel seemed surprised. "Why not, Roxas?"

"I don't think you'll want to be friends with me anymore if I told you." Roxas said.

"I'll always want to be friends with you." Axel said. "You know that. Nothing you say can make me change my mind about being your friend."


Axel: Unless you tell me you are a jew. But that would be ridiculous!

"I know." Roxas said. "But I think I shouldn't tell you. Especially since your father is one of the big guys in the SS."


He is the head of the SS, moron!

"He's in charge of the SS, Roxas." Axel said with a smile.

Patience is a virtue, Maniak. If you had waited one more senetence, you would have found that this is one of the only things Mika-Chan actually got right

Maniak put it better.

"I'll tell you when I feel like I can talk about it, ok?" Roxas said.

"Ok." Axel said.

Oh, tell him already!

They continued their game; Axel was distracted throughout the remainder of it. What did Roxas want to tell him? He couldn't be Jewish, could he? But Axel wouldn't care if the blonde was Jewish. Himmler would, but Axel wouldn't. What was Roxas going to tell him? And would Axel still be his friend?


All things we never found out as the story ended before any serious conflict could come up.


Mika-Chan: And how many more questions can I randomly shoehorn in before it gets annoying?

I like how in the end of the first chapter, Axel immediately assumes that he's gay for Roxas, and in this chapter, he immediately assumes Roxas is Jewish. Both are correct assumptions.

if anyone has Nazi germany questions, i'll try my best to answer them. i might not know all the answers


Understatement. Inglorious Basterds is historical more accurate than this story.

It also makes more sense.

, but i'll do my best. review?

I have a question. I have many questions.

next chapter: round up!

This post has been edited by DraculaMarth: Apr 7 2011, 02:49 PM

[Soren Highwind]

Wow, guys, your multi-mocking was brilliant. Keep it up, holmeses.

[YTB]

Wait, if Axel is gay, and he's Himmler's son in this fan fic, then doesn't this insult the Nazis, too?

[DraculaMarth]

Wait, if Axel is gay, and he's Himmler's son in this fan fic, then doesn't this insult the Nazis, too?

Possibly, but Mika-Chan probably didn't try to insult anything. She just didn't try, PERIOD

[Screaming_Soulcatcher]

Wait, if Axel is gay, and he's Himmler's son in this fan fic, then doesn't this insult the Nazis, too?

How dare you bring Logic into this!

[Maniak]

Wait, if Axel is gay, and he's Himmler's son in this fan fic, then doesn't this insult the Nazis, too?

You know this is a point I didn`T try to bring up in this story cause I was unsure what yu would think about me as soon as I bring it up but yes it is.
In general the portrayal of the nazis could be considered kinda insulting to what I like to call the hardliners. By that I mean nazis that are even insulted by Neo nazis as they consider them just a cheap and moronic follow up to what Hitler`s idea once was. And if lunatic mass murders come to the conclusion that you are stupid, you are fucked up.

As far as this story is "insulting" for nazis, I would say the following points are sticking out:

1. the portrayal of Hitler more or less similiar to an high school principal

2. The... well, high school-esque portrayal of a state that was out for world domination

3. The fact that suddenly everyone turns gay or -as in later chapters- try to preach some tolerance aesops.

Seriously, this fanfiction is fucked up on so many levels.
It insults all the countless people who suffered or died through the time of the Third Reich/WWII, either in the death camps or on the battlefield, Kingdom Hearts fans are ashamed of people like Mika-chan being part of the fandom, nazis would like to tell the writer that she knows nothing about their movement, fanfic readers can`t believe such a piece of garbage exists and Yaoi fangirlies don`t even get the "promised" porn as (SPOILER ALERT) the Yaoi (which basically means "no plot, just sex") in this story is not existent, instead we get Roxas being emo cause he is gay and afraid what Axel would think about it and some other cuddle wuddle bullshit. All while in the background people are dying cause of starvation, illness and the sociopathic behaviour of mass muderers.
..... you know, I think this is the sugar version of anything Psychostorm would write as soon as he discovers the KH fandom.

The worst part is, the writer doesn`t even acknowledge that she made a mistake (understatement) after she put it off her profile I discovered that she wrote a little explanation why it was off. There she even dares to complain that we are all intolerant because "it was only a story, gesshh, if you don`t like it don`t read it".
... This girl is sickening me.

[YTB]

...Jesus Christ, what have I gotten myself into?