Twi and Me, by Hotsauce, She may or may not be of age. Either way, beastiality is going down. Options

[TheSpaih]

Ugh, that audio version. It wouldn't have been so bad if the guy hadn't sounded aroused by it.

You should see his reading of some humanised futa story where he makes these fucking Lovecraftian noises, but it gets worse. A person in the comments pointed out that there were loud noises in the background during the reading, his response? That he was reading it to his FUCKING LITTLE SISTER, and this wasn't worded in a way that made it sound like a joke.

[Nihilistic One]

You should see his reading of some humanised futa story where he makes these fucking Lovecraftian noises, but it gets worse. A person in the comments pointed out that there were loud noises in the background during the reading, his response? That he was reading it to his FUCKING LITTLE SISTER, and this wasn't worded in a way that made it sound like a joke.

[Paragon]

Hold up, hold up, hold the fuck up...there's an AUDIO VERSION OF THIS?!

Someone thought this was good enough to read OUT LOUD? And then PUT IT ON THE INTERNET?

Fucking hell, it exists...

Ow, my heart...

[Nihilistic One]

Hold up, hold up, hold the fuck up...there's an AUDIO VERSION OF THIS?!

Someone thought this was good enough to read OUT LOUD? And then PUT IT ON THE INTERNET?

Fucking hell, it exists...

Ow, my heart...

Eeyup.

Sorry for not posting the third part, but YouTube is run by good people who decided "Fuck this shit, we're not allowing horse-fucking on our website, faggot."

[Paragon]

Ugh.

Funny part, the thing that Twi is laying on isn't a pillow.

It's a guy's lap.

[Nihilistic One]

Ugh.

Fucking disgusting part, the thing that Twi is laying on isn't a pillow.

It's a guy's lap.

Fixed the quote for you. I really am creeped out by that picture. I dunno why, it just makes me want to throw up on instinct.

[Paragon]

Okay, who's ready for MORE horsie foreplay!? YEAH, NEITHER AM I!!! :D

"I... at least I think that's what this feeling is," she said. "I've been trying to look it up in books, but everything written about love is so confusing! It's just that I... when you're not around I... I just can't stop thinking about what you're doing. And when... when you were helping Applejack fix the barn that time, I realized I was jealous."

THAT was what made you jealous? Not the fact that he has had sex with AT LEAST three other horses at this point?!

"But... why?" I realized that my self-doubt was probably pretty unattractive, but it didn't seem to worry her. I guess she shared those same feelings and understood what I meant.

Isn’t it just so romantic when both participants just hate themselves and have to fish for compliments?! I know I would never want any potential significant other to be confident or self-assured or anything stupid like that!

"You're the first guy who I've been able to talk with without dumbing down what I've been saying," she explained. "And... and you stand up to me, too. Remember the time when we arguing about rainbows? You kept on telling me that they're caused by the – what was it again? – refraction of sunlight in water droplets and I was lecturing you on how they're a diffusion of the original Light of Creation as it extends into our universe?"

Her entire argument could be summed up as “GAWD DID IT”.

"I remember," I replied. "You got pretty angry at me, too."

Oh, yeah, me and my ex argued about rainbows all the fucking time- WHY IS THIS IMPORTANT.

"Well, I was... but I was also, well..." She sighed. "It was just exciting to be able to talk about something like that with a boy for once.

They always say your first time arguing about rainbows is the most special.

I don't know if you've noticed, but the stallions in Equestria are not exactly the sharpest bunch."

Hey, have you met Big Macintosh? He’s smart! He’s super smart! Go be with him, I’d rather read about that than THIS. Figures that Hotsauce would only focus on the young female leads in this show.

I nodded. Equestria was clearly a matriarchal society, where females were expected to do all the administration and thinking, leaving the males to do a lot of the physical labor.

What, how is that NOT like what goes on here?! Do females do a lot of physical labor on Earth?

I guess it would be a novelty for Twi to be able to talk about these sorts of things.

"And... I... I love it when you use big words, like 'zenith', or 'perihelion'.

I doubt you two had a conversation that was so academically amazing you had to use the word perihelion or zenith. In fact, I doubt Hotsauce knows what either of those words mean.

They make me feel all..."

Notice how she said ‘used’ not ‘used CORRECTLY’.

Her cheeks flushed. "...melty inside."

Shit, I’d have males flocking to me if that shit actually worked!

As she sat there beside me, blushing hot, staring down at the couch, her forelegs tucked underneath her, I wanted to throw my arms around her right there and then. She really was the most adorkable thing I'd ever seen.

UGH, can we get some different fucking adjectives in the mix here!? This guy doesn’t know any beyond variations on the word adorable.

"But Twi... don't I look weird to you, at all?" I still couldn't believe that she would find what was essentially a bald ape attractive, no matter how big the words he used were.

She doesn’t. She never once said she found you attractive, appearance-wise.

"Well, I have to admit you are pretty unusual looking," she said with her usual disarming honesty. But as soon as the words left her mouth her forehooves flew up to her mouth in horror. "I mean, for Equestria!" It came out in an apologetic rush. "I'm sure that in the human world..."

"Nah, I'll admit it," I chuckled. "I am pretty funny looking. Even back on Earth people called me funny looking."

Of course they did. Only horses would find you attractive, Hotsauce. Actually, wait, NOT EVEN HORSES FIND YOU ATTRACTIVE. That’s…oh, that’s just fucking perfect, isn’t it?

"Looks just aren't important to me," said Twi quickly. "I mean.... Oh Celestia, I didn't mean to say that you're ugl-" She looked down at her hooves and sighed in exasperation. "Oh, I always ruin everything! I... I just don't know how to talk to boys especially you, I mean, I can literally feel your pedophilia just…fermenting inside you. I..."

While she was still babbling I took her head in my hands and brought my face close to hers.

Oh, please, that shit only works in the movies. Also, she’s a horse.

"Just stop talking for a second, Twi," I said.

Her eyes went suddenly wide in panic, and her mouth opened into an O, but she didn't move away. "Are... are you going to kiss me?" she asked.

I smiled. "That's what I was intending to do, yes."

y tho

"I've never really kissed anypony before..." she began to say but I'd already brought my face against hers, and she shut her eyes tight and went slack in my arms

So she just shut down all conscious function…? I think that may be her only defense at this point.

as I moved my lips against her own – firm but soft, and warm...

SHE’S A FUCKING HORSE WITH A HORSE MOUTH. You ever look at a horse mouth before? They’re pretty fucking gross.

and as they parted I could taste her hot breath, syrupy and sweet with the dandelion wine.

UGH, alcohol breath!

I left them there for a few heartbeats, until she was used to the feeling of my skin against hers, something so unnatural and unholy, Satan himself wouldn’t get off to porn of it, and then I broke the kiss.

He broke it so hard, it needed 8 weeks in the ICU.

As soon as her lips were free she was talking again. "Did I do that right?

If that entails making me laugh incredibly hard when the mental image of a person kissing a horse, then yes, you did that right.

It's just that I've read so many books about how to kiss and everything but actually doing it is completely..."

Really? There are books on the subject? In Equestria?

I brought a finger up to her lips and she went silent.. "It's not really something you can learn from a book, Twi," I said with a chuckle. "But that was one hell of a kiss for a beginner!"

Oh, of course it was, it’s just so fucking natural for these two to be romantic with each other.

The corners of her mouth turned up into a pleased smile under my finger. "Oh, I'm so happy I did OK!"

I lay back on the couch and patted my lap. "Why don't you put your head here for a little while?"

Twi didn't need to be asked twice. She lay her head down on my lap, and she sighed as I started to stroke her mane. It felt just like a human girl's hair, far softer than I'd expected. For a long time I enjoyed the sensation of letting it drift through my fingers, and then I ran my fingers over her muzzle like you would if you were petting a dog,

You know, most females wouldn’t take kindly to having their face compared to a dog’s snout.

and she seemed to like that a lot, closing her eyes and rubbing the side of her head against my stomach.

Like a normal, well-adjusted man petting his cat- wait, what do you mean he’s talking about a horse he’s about to fuck?!

I pet her past her horn and down her mane, then back across to her ears which were by now turned back in pleasure.

No, I think that’s fear…I know, you probably get the two confused fairly often when trying to pick up on signals, dude.

"Does that feel nice, Twi?" I asked.

She murmured, and I felt that sudden happy excitement you get when you're with an underaged girl and you realize that things are going to lead somewhere with her tonight. But could... could I actually do it with a pony?

You can, you’re just running the risk of going to hell for your crimes against nature.

I looked down at her body, her little forelegs curled up under her chest, her knees pressing against the side of my leg, and her sleek body

You called her a marshmallow earlier, jackass. She can’t be a sleek marshmallow, there’s no such thing.

all laid out along the couch, the gentle dip of her spine that lead up to her softly rounded rump with its tail flicking back and forth as I pet her.

This is foreplay, everyone! I will never be able to pet a cat or any fluffy animal the same way thanks to this douche.

Her body was so pleasingly curved and feminine I felt myself getting hard,

She’s a horse, she’s a horse, she’s a horse, she’s a horse, she’s a horse, she’s a horse, oh, and uh, SHE’S A FUCKING HORSE.

and I wondered if she would notice.

Probably not, you need a microscope to see the difference, isn’t that right, Hotsauce? OHHHH!

As the kiss had proved, she was pretty inexperienced and I didn't want to scare her off before things got interesting –

I’m already scared, and things are not going to get interesting, only more unholy. We’re going deeper and deeper into this rabbit hole of bestiality and by God, I’m going to tough it out.

I couldn't stand the thought of slinking into my bed drunk and trying to beat off after everything that had happened.

EWWW!!! Neither can I!

"You... you smell really good," she muttered into my lap, her eyes still closed. "You smell just like a stallion."

So he smells like hay and feces? Yeah, that’s probably accurate

"And you smell just like a human girl," I said. It was true – she did.

y tho

Underneath the lavender and vanilla sweetness there was that unmistakeable spicy scent of feminine excitement.

Human males in the audience, I propose a question: is it possible to smell a girl’s horniness? I doubt it is.

Twi was obviously getting the cable box and TV turned on.

"I... I guess we're not really all that different after all," said Twi pseudophilosophically.

Yeah, you’re both traitors to your own species, you’re both guilty of crimes against nature…You both hate yourselves! Perfect match!

"We even speak the same language!" I said.

Huh? What’s going on…?

Twi lifted her head up suddenly. "Yes, what's with that?"

Wha-? Why are we going off on this tangent all of a sudden?! Not that I mind, but seriously, what the fuck?

She cocked her head as she often did when a thought took hold of her. "Even in Equestria there are different languages, so how does it happen that different DIMENSIONS speak the same language? It just doesn't make any sense!"

This guy wanting to fuck your brains out doesn’t make any sense, what’s new?

I shrugged. "Maybe there's an invisible bond between our two worlds or something. Isn't that what you were investigating with your magic when you brought me here?"

Oh, look an interesting question- oh, never mind we have to read the human and horse fucking HURR-DEE-DURR-DEE WE WRE BONDED ACROSS UNIVERSES!

"I'm sorry," she whispered, putting her head back down. "I'm so, so sorry."

I think she’s apologizing to the readers for the existence of this fic and her involvement in it.

"No, Twi," I ran my hand along her mane. "It was the best thing that ever happened to me. If you hadn't messed up that spell, we'd have never met and..." I closed my eyes. "I don't think I can even stand thinking about that."

Why, because it means the multiverse would still be sacred and happy?! AND NATURAL?!?

"Me neither," murmured Twi, snuggling her face into my lap.

We sat there together in silence for a while, me scratching her behind her ears and Twi just lying there with a dopey smile on her face,

That’s not romantic, that’s fucking retarded.

when suddenly she lifted her head and looked at me. Her cheeks had turned crimson and her violet eyes glistened.

"I wonder if-?" she began.

"Mmmm?" I asked, running my fingers down along her back.

"-if humans and ponies can... you know." Twi, still blushing, avoided my gaze.

I don’t know how I can live with myself after reading this. I don’t know how Hotsauce can live with himself after writing this.

"I don't know," I replied. "I think so. Do you want to find out?"

JESUS FUCK NO. NO NONO NONONONONO…!!!

PARAGON has fled the mock!

[Nihilistic One]

Oh Jesus, this is the horrible part. You knew that already, but I thought it best to warn other people. Seriously, this is almost as bad as the foal-fucking in Foalin' Around 2. I do not envy your trying to find jokes to make about the secks. On an unrelated note, I actually found a Hotsauce story that has a sex scene that doesn't involve horse-fucking or paedophilia. Another thing to add to my list of things to do after Japan, right after the Fallout LP...

But I'm just rambling. Good mock, keep it up, try not to go insane.

By the way, the main faggot has actually fucked 5 horses before this story. He fucked all of the CMC, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. Just a disgusting tidbit 'o information.

This post has been edited by Nihilistic One: Jun 18 2012, 08:45 AM

[TheSpaih]

Sorry for not posting the third part, but YouTube is run by good people who decided "Fuck this shit, we're not allowing horse-fucking on our website, faggot."

You can thank the good men dedicated to running that fuck Azekahh off of Youtube for getting that video removed, here's hoping the entire channel is next.

Human males in the audience, I propose a question: is it possible to smell a girl’s horniness? I doubt it is.

This post has been edited by TheSpaih: Jun 18 2012, 09:09 AM

[TheSpaih]

Another thing to add to my list of things to do after Japan, right after the Fallout LP...

right after the Fallout LP...

Fallout LP

[Agnitio Ex Machina]

I like how the author pretends he's smarter than he actually is. It's obvious he only has the mind of a manchild, coincidentally what he is.

[Nihilistic One]

I like how the author pretends he's smarter than he actually is. It's obvious he only has the mind of a manchild, coincidentally what he is.

Because no bad fap-fiction writers do that *coughNaruto'sBratcough*.

[Max-Vader]

Human males in the audience, I propose a question: is it possible to smell a girl’s horniness? I doubt it is.

Unless women have suddenly started leaking spicy condiments from their crotch while I wasn't looking, no.

PARAGON has fled the mock!

A wild HOTSAUCE has appeared!

Go, PARAGON!

HOTSAUCE used BEASTIALITY!

...but it fails!

PARAGON used GTFO!

PARAGON has escaped!

[Paragon]

We now return to your regularly scheduled badly written beastiality.



Twi smothered her face back into my lap, as if trying to hide, which is the usual reaction I get from girls but then I felt her nod. When she lifted up her face again, there was a sudden heat in her eyes.

So sudden her eyes were incinerated. It seems as though her very body was rebelling against the inevitable coitus.

"Do you want to?"

I nodded. "More than anything else in the world…well, not more than a threesome with the CMC, but uh…heheh, take what you can get amirite?"

Twi lifted her head off my lap and sat back on her rump,

Oooh, my favorite euphemism for ‘a horse’s ass’!

a nervous smile on her face. "I think... I think I want another glass of wine."

Seriously? Your BAC has to be at least .5 at this point. AT LEAST.

Her horn began to glow and the magical aura wreathing itself around the bottle which began to float across to us.

Holy fuck. You guys, that sentence changed tense three goddamn times. THREE. GODDAMN. TIMES.

But suddenly the aura flickered and the bottle would have fallen onto the floor if I hadn't reached out instinctively and caught it. I was pretty drunk as well – but it was a lucky catch, and Twi clopped her forelegs together in delight.

"I think I should do the pouring from now on," I said with a smile as I filled both our glasses.

Twi's ears went back and she frowned. "My magic gets all... mixed up after I've had a few drinks. It's so embarrassing!"

How old is she supposed to be in this one? No, really, I don’t think she’s of the age to be making these kinds of statements.

"I think you're an adorable drunk, Twi,"

But Hotsauce literally sticks that word on EVERYTHING he likes. Hymens? Adorable. Vaginas? Adorable!! Young, drunk horses? Also AHDOARABUL!!!!!!!

I chuckled, taking another drink and Twi did the same, glancing at me over the lip of her glass as she drank – a little too fast! Some of the dandelion wine spilled onto her front, and she floated the glass away, giggling, as she pawed at her sticky chest with a forehoof.

Alright, is this arousing to ANYONE besides Hotsauce?!

"Oh, all this wine has definitely gone to my head, and I'm getting all hot."

Good to see she’s figuring this out after what had to be at least her 92nd glass of the stuff.

She looked thoughtful. "I remember reading that alcohol increases the blood flow around the body. Maybe that's why I'm getting hot all over the place."

Kinda like an erection only she’s a girl so she didn’t get one u sicko.

"I'm getting pretty hot too," I said.

This fic is trying to be hot, but it’s…clearly not working. This thing has all the sexual tension of petting your cat and downing beers at the same time.

Twi looked at me. "Well, no wonder you're hot. You insist on wearing those clothes all the time!"

And ANY clothing makes him more attractive than if he was naked.

"Humans don't have as much fur as ponies, Twi," I laughed. "We need clothes to keep us warm."

"I want to see," she said, suddenly moving closer to me.

"See what?"

“Your clothes.”

"How much fur you have," said Twi. "I'm curious." She patted me on the chest with a forehoof.

It’s funny because he’s a furry.

"Oh – kay," I said. No point arguing with a drunk unicorn especially if you’re going to be getting lucky with it in a few minutes!!! I unbuttoned my shirt and slipped out of it, throwing it over the back of the couch.

Because you totally won’t need to put it back on in a minute…

Twi brought a tentative forehoof to my chest and then started to stroke the hair on it.

You do know that hooves don’t actually have any nerve endings, right?

"It doesn't feel so different from pony fur!" she remarked, fascinated.

His hair has all the manliness of a pony. A pastel-colored, happy, cartoon pony.

"I think pony fur is a bit softer, actually," I said. As she was stroking me, I slid my arm around her and ran my hand down her back,

*Shudders*


feeling the velvet-soft texture of her coat – and with a sudden sigh Twi fell into my arms,

That shit only happens in movies, Hotsauce. Movies that typically involve two HUMANS, by the way. What the fuck makes you think you can apply such rules to a goddamn horse.

the side of her face flush against my chest, and I suddenly had that warm, fluffy softness against my bare skin – and the sensation was amazing.

I bet you could get the same sensation from cuddling with your favorite stuffed animal.

I took her head in my hands and lifted it up, taking care to avoid the horn, and this time she moved into the kiss, her lips opening to accept my tongue.



She was timid at first, letting me explore the inside of her mouth, running my tongue along her palate and her teeth, all of which were a little larger than I'd experienced kissing a human girl.

LARGE TEETH ARE SUCH A TURN-ON, RIGHT GAIZ.

But soon she grew bolder, and brought her tongue against mine, and Twi moaned breathlessly against my mouth.

She’s a horse. Also, a moan requires breath, dumbass.

I broke the kiss, breathless,

She’s breathless, you’re breathless…with any luck, you’ll both die of oxygen deprivation.

and looked up to see that Twi's horn was softly glowing.

"Er, Twi... should your horn be doing that?" I asked.

Twi giggled. "My horn sometimes does that when I get a little... melty."

How would she know that…? Does pony porn exist in Equestria…? And shouldn’t ‘melty’ be replaced with ‘horny’ in this case? BA DUM TISH.

It was the perfect chance for me to ask her something I'd wanted to for a long time, but never had the appropriate chance to.

“Can you use your horn for anal? I’ve always been really curious about that.”

"Uh, Twi, does your horn... er, can you feel anything with it?"

She nodded. "It's pretty sensitive actually. Every unicorn's horn is. We use it to interact with the planet's magic field after all."

PHALLIC SYMBOL.

"That sounds pretty neat," I said. "Um... do you mind if I touch it?"

This is starting to get weird, you guys.

She shook her head, blushing. "I... think I'd like you to."

This is really fucking weird, you guys.

I ran my fingers up along her neck and over her ears until I finally gingerly touched the base of her horn.

I’m sorry, I still can’t seem to get over the fact that she’s a fucking unicorn. Please keep reminding us, Hotsauce.

It was still faintly glowing with magic, and when I made contact with it I felt a mild electric shock travel up my fingers and to my heart, at which point I died of cardiac arrest and as the magical aura grew a little brighter and expanded onto my hand there was a warm, tingling sensation. I curled my fingers around her horn and it felt warm, soft and alive – not at all like dead bone.

You know nothing about bone if you think it’s

Oh, god, more phallic imagery. DEAD BONE. Jesus, I think the horn is the reason he’s going for Twilight Sparkle!!

Twi began to pant a little,

She was unused to this much activity, given her sedentary lifestyle- this is the weirdest fucking thing I’ve ever read…!!

and I realized that making her feel this way was making me harder than steel.

Guys love having painfully hard boners, right?

I began to rub her horn up and down a little, and then I leaned forward and brought my lips against her horn to kiss it.

y tho

I jerked off back a little at the initial shock, but as soon as I was used to it I slipped my tongue from between my lips and gave the horn a tentative lick.

Uh….wha- whu-, but, I- WHAT the FUCK am I READING?!? How could any of this be considered erotic?!

It was just like licking skin – there wasn't a trace of fur, and I found the sensation of the velvety soft firmness against my lips and tongue unbearably exciting.

Uh, dude, are you sure you’re straight?

Twi giggled and gasped as I licked and kissed her horn, but after a short while she pushed me away.

Good job. That isn’t going to stop the sex, though.

"I... I wanna lick you now," she whispered.

One of the most erotic phrases I can think of, right there. Yep.

"But I don't have a horn!" I replied with wide-eyed confusion.

Pft, he does, it just ain’t much of a horn.

Twi laughed and thumped me on the chest. "Oh come on! You know what I mean, right?"

I chuckled, nodding. "I'd love you to."

PARAGON tried to flee the battle!

Can’t escape!

"I'm getting that melty feeling again," said Twi as she hopped off the couch a little unsteadily and stood on all fours in front of me.

She promptly melted into a puddle of goo. Hotsauce shrugged, said ‘fuck it’ and did exactly that.

"Your licking my... me was getting me really hot." She took a single step forward, bringing her head in between my splayed knees, and for a long while she stood there staring at my pants, her head cocked

Ha.

as if she was trying to divine a secret.

Yeah, I’d say his cock is so hard to find it may as well be a secret.

"So how do these things work exactly?"

OH, hey, I have a guide about it written by a human named NarutosBrat right here…

WHAT THE FUCK!? IT DOESN’T COVER BEASTIALITY.

Soon her horn shone brightly and my belt buckle started to glow the same rose-pink color. The buckle slid back and forth as she fumbled with the unfamiliar device, and the tip of her tongue popped out from between her lips as she concentrated and it fled the house. It was all for the best, though. Without her tongue, she wouldn’t be able to scream.

I brought my hands down. "Here, let me help..."But then I suddenly felt them fly from my belt, slapped away by an invisible force, and Twi glared at me fiercely.

"No, I want to do it!"

Is this supposed to be comical…?

There was little Miss Sparkle the stubborn perfectionist again! I knew better than to argue with her when she was in this kind of mood and left her to it. But she quickly worked out that she had to hold the buckle and the belt at the same time, and with a bit of loosening and tightening she soon unbuckled it and my belt flicked out and flew off across the room with a life of its own.

Even inanimate objects are trying to escape the fic.

"Wow," I said. "Add that to the list of things I'd never seen before I came here to Equestria!"

Yeah, I’ve never seen a horse operate a belt without opposable thumbs before either.

But Twilight was already examining the zip on my pants. "Wait, how many locks do these things have? Why do you humans cover yourselves up so much?"

If he goes off on a pro-nudist tract, I’m leaving.

"I've got no idea," I said. "But trust me – you wouldn't want to see most humans walking around without clothes like you ponies do. You ponies are just lucky that all those adventures you get involved in keep you looking sleek and healthy."

I imagine he said that with a leering grin and heavy breathing.

Twilight wasn't really listening to me at this point, and with a little experimentation later she finally worked out that the button needed to be undone and then the zip unzipped, and soon she had my jeans around my ankles and I sat there in only my boxers.

She vomited at the sight, as most are wont to do.

"What? ANOTHER layer?" she laughed.

That’s NOT FUCKING FUNNY, HOTSAUCE.

"You humans are crazy! Is Earth really that cold? Was there another Ice Age? Wait, that can't be right – you said that your planet is undergoing something called Global Warming, right?"

Well, if there’s one thing that can be said about this fic, it doesn’t use Equestria as a backboard for trying to push the author’s political opinions on the reader. It just uses it for beastiality.

"Uh, I don't really think that that's the reason we..." I began, but Twi had grown impatient and abandoning her magic she was now gripping the leg of my underwear between her teeth and trying to pull them down.

Is that supposed to be hot?

They slipped down about an inch before they got stuck on my erection, and she was forced to pull harder and harder until they slipped down over it – pretty painfully I might add! –

Does he have a bent duck, too, or what? No, forgive me, I don’t think he deserves the comparison to CWC.

and Twi fell back on her rump, giggling, leaving my underwear hanging around my ankles.

She laughed at his naked body, as most are wont to do. And that’s about all I can take for now.

This post has been edited by Paragon: Jun 25 2012, 10:40 AM

[Max-Vader]

Guys love having painfully hard boners, right?

Uh-huh.

[TheSpaih]

Guess I should have warned you about the horn blowjob.

[Paragon]

Yes, that would have been NICE TO KNOW.

Sweet Jesus, that was fucking unexpected.

[SM2142]

Oh for the love of all that is right in this world!

That was just wrong! WRONG! Kevin Spacey levels of WRONG!

If this Hotsauce guy ever crosses my path, I will be the last thing he sees.

[Paragon]

Oh for the love of all that is right in this world!

That was just wrong! WRONG! Kevin Spacey levels of WRONG!

If this Hotsauce guy ever crosses my path, I will be the last thing he sees.

Get in line, man, I want a crack at this fuckass, too!

At least one drop kick to the genitals, that's all I ask.

[Dystopian God]

Get in line, man, I want a crack at this fuckass, too!

At least one drop kick to the genitals, that's all I ask.

I said it to Nih and I'll say it to you.

Use the machete. They're Gods gift to vigilantes.