Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )

2 Pages V   1 2 >  
Reply to this topicStart new topic
> Death Battle: Twilight VS Lightning Dawn, Not even famed internet series are safe...
Post #1
MasterOfNintendo


I have risen...
***

Group: Members
Posts: 279
Joined: 18-January 16
Member No.: 1,747
Gender: Male



post Mar 17 2017, 11:56 PM
Sigh...

I really...REALLY didn't want to get back to this particular author's fanfiction. I honest-to-God DIDN'T. I especially didn't want to get embroiled in his little "Starfleet Magic" hubabaloo. The moment I finished "Beast Boy in Equestria", I shut the lid on Mykan-fics unless he did "something crazy".

Turns out, I have one hell of a huge mouth. I don't blame myself for this short-fic's creation, but something must have come along the way to be a catalyst for this. Most likely, it was the reveal of a Season 7 for MLP that set him off.

I'll get to the point. Mykan did a fanmade Death Battle between one of the ponies and one of his characters. Knowing him, you can tell bias is going to run wild. What makes this special? Well, for those of you who haven't checked Youtube in a while, Death Battle is a series of internet videos in which two characters from various types of media are pitted against each-other. Two very talented/funny individuals (Wiz and Boomstick) analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win. Hell, even Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie participated against Starscream and Deadpool, respectively (one a win, the other a...well, you better see for yourself).

The hosts also settled that damn Goku Vs. Superman debacle. TWICE. So, as you can imagine, it baffles me that Mykan, in that little bubble of his, would bother to seek out new material to bastardize for the sake of defending his work that he doesn't even consider fun. I can already imagine the two hosts shaking their heads in disapproval. If they knew this existed, of course.

Onto the fanfic. This, thankfully, is only a chapter long, but it's something.

Pink= Myself


White= This postulation

Author's Note:

Of course. Why not? You gonna dedicate this to analyzing both characters or...enough stalling. Let's continue.

Much as I don't really HAVE to be doing this... given the immaturity and hostility people have been giving to me and my characters (Some of which even Deliberately do it out of spite. I figured I may as well blow a little steam off by keeping my own world and the facts in tact.

Yes. Continue to listen to possible trolls and keep fanning the flames of critics both noble and hostile. That will solve your problem.

Oh, look. I got an A on my Sarcasm Test. Goodie!


It won't matter if I get a million thumbs down (Since I know most of them are deliberately out of vanity)

When does "vanity" factor into this? It's a feedback program. While comments are much more informative, it's the thought that counts.

"You wrote the fic, there for I know it sucks. So I'll just down vote it anyway"

Be glad this isn't FIMfiction. Much more...detailed responses are present here.

No offense to the site, though. It's got its bright spots.


and that is a direct quote and further proof.

And probably from a troll. Ever heard the phrase "Don't feed the troll"? Wander taught that, for crying out loud.

Still, this is my fiction, and I do as I please here.

So...no analysis? No witty commentary about the characters as you showcase their abilities?

Oh, wait. I forgot. That would require effort.


In a vast field with rock formations and lone trees scattered about, a lone alicorn Princess fluttered down onto the field. She looked all around her and couldn’t see anyone else.

“I guess he decided not to show up after all.” she gloated, but she suddenly ate those words when she heard a loud thump behind her. She turned round and saw her opponent had arrived.

Oh, look! Twilight Sparkle's been reduced to a gloating super-villain.

We're not even a few sentences into this and already things have gone south.


He was a white humanoid alicorn, with a brown mane and tale, and a golden yellow horn. He wore a simple outfit consisting of an armored white vest, white pants, black boots, and in the upper left side of his armor was engraved a unicorn badge with stars all around it, and a code AO0C inscribed beneath.

“Princess Twilight Sparkle…” he called to her softly but deeply.

We're talking like "Nickleback" levels. It's a compliment.

Twilight narrowed her eyes, “Lightning Dawn! Part of me is glad you showed up for this.”

While the rest of me is looking down and shaking my head.

Lightning sighed shamefully, shook his head and tried to reason with her. “We don’t have to do this. We can still call it off.”

“Shut up!” shouted Twilight “We’re having this battle so I can put you in your place once and for all!”

I'm getting the slight feeling somebody reversed the dialogues here. Wouldn't Twilight be the one calling this whole ordeal pointless?

Also, Twi, some straw is falling out of your skin. Might wanna check that out.


Lightning sighed again, “You disappoint me. I thought you Equestrians were all about Friendship and understanding… Well, I guess I thought wrong, but again I suggest you agree to call this fight off.”

The one thing that might make this tolerable is if he's in one of the billions of alternate universes the fans have made that depict Twilight as evil. Trust me, there's quite a few. Hopefully, it's the Witchcraft version. The less you know about that, the better.

Twilight could only scoff, “Two things! One: This is no ordinary fight, it’s a Death Battle… and two: Why should I agree to call it off. You Space Ponies are nothing but blood thirsty war-mongers who denounce friendship at every corner and solve your problems with violence, and worse you claim that you’re Oh-so-much better than we Equestrians.”

Imperialistic America during the past is a more befitting description. But I see your point.

Lightning folded his arms in disgust, “Are you even listening to yourself?” he practically yelled at her. “We only fight because we have to. We fight for justice and peace. You yourself would do what we did if faced with those situations.”

Yeah, but they wouldn't essentially worm their belief system onto the entire species. And no, peace and friendship aren't so much as beliefs as they are ways to keep the universe from going into a frenzy.

Twilight only yawned as if she had ignored everything he said. “Yeah, um… I don’t care what you claim. The fact is we’re going to fight, I’m going to win and show you and your entire race up for the way you insult me and my friends.”

Rather than a yawn, she was busy horking up pile upon pile of straw. Do I even have to say anything?

Lightning could see by now there was obvious no reasoning with Twilight Sparkle, and it would be in vain to inform her that he was only concerned for her well-being. Though he was an alicorn that could do no natural magic, thanks to his years of intense training and pushing himself beyond limitations and boundaries that most suffered from, as well as being armed with powerful technologies… they were not evenly matched. It would not be a fair fight.

Can't fault the author for honesty. He's powered up his Marty Stu so much that it's logically impossible for a Death Battle between them to EXIST. It's the most likely reason we won't get a Death Battle with Saitama.

Pray Mykan never finds out about him. Otherwise, he'd freak about someone being stronger than his special snowflakes.


“I gave you a chance to spare yourself… but you leave me no choice.” he said to her. Then he shouted out loud “Starfleet Magic!” and pressed on his energizer badge, immediately donning a super suit.

"WHOOPS! Those are my clothes I take to the Gay Bar! My bad!"

I apologize.

A white spandex suit and gloves with golden bands at the wrists, all made of a highly condensed polymerized alloy, more than ten times stronger than titanium. His armor vest was now stronger as well and outfitted with golden shoulder pads, a golden triangular guard at the lower part, and across his eyes he wore a golden visor with dark windows.

And a slag-ton of Sentai cliches up his rectum.

“Ready when you are.” he called to her.

Twilight clopped her hoof twice in a threatening manner and grinned wickedly.

Yep. This is the Friendship is Witchcraft version. Or a changeling.

It was time for a DEATH BATTLE!!



FIGHT!!

Twilight reared up on her hind legs, neighing like the horse she was, and charged forth, straight at Lightning, whom just stood casually where he was with his arms by his side and a rather unimpressed expression on his face.

You'll never make it into the likes of DragonBall. Knock it off.

Twilight roared as she readied to ram him, but at the last second, he seemingly vanished causing her to miss. She looked behind him, and there he was.

Did Twilight just become a raging beast? Are we playing Bloodborne, in which characters can become monsters at random?

“How did you do that?” she asked. “Elementary my dear princess.” he boringly replied.

I'd prepare for the next day when Cumberbatch breaks into your house to break all your bones.

At first Twilight thought it was teleportation, but dismissed that thought remembering that Lightning couldn’t do magic.

And as we all know, as of recently, Twilight has always underestimated non-magic using entities!

Sweet Celestia...


She rushed at him again, only for him to vanish again causing her to miss and he was right behind her again, sitting on the ground with his legs crossed neatly.

She tried three more times, only for the same thing to happen each time. Then Twilight realized what was happening… it wasn’t magic, it was speed.

Thanks to Lightning’s training, with his speed and quick reflexes, he was able to zip out of the way before Twilight could get anywhere near him.

Had this been a battle with Rainbow Dash...well, let's just say Starscream was reduced to a spark last time.

“Alright… have it your way then!” she jeered, and she rushed at him again, but halfway along she vanished… teleported out of sight.

Lightning snickered softly and said under his breath, “She’ll have to do better than this.”

He tapped into his visors sensory systems and detected the precise exit point of the teleport magic.

Suddenly, Twilight reappeared and rammed straight for him, only he held out his leg and tripped her off her feet. “Have a nice trip?” he teased.

Have a better quip?

Twilight was really getting annoyed, but she got up on her feet and made her horn glow brightly, zapping Lightning with a powerful spell.

“Huh?!” Lightning groaned as he stood stiff and still.

“An immobilizing spell, so now you can’t move at all.”

Interesting development. Mykan allowing one of the canon characters to get an advantage. How many seconds do you think that'll last?

Lightning stood exactly where he was, shrouded in Twilight’s magic. Twilight moved in closer, standing on her hind legs and pounding her hoof with her other hoof in a threatening manner.

I warn you. Horse kicks are not fun to get. As I learned the hard way back in the day...

Finally, right before him she swung her hoof back for a huge punch, but suddenly Lightning raised his hand and caught it stopping her dead in her tracks much to her shock and confusion.

Not even 10 seconds. Or something. Battle scenes done DragonBall style fiddle around with the time-scale often.

Lightning sniggered and gave his head a slight jerk revealing he hadn’t been immobilized at all. “You really think a magic that weak can actually hold me…?” he taunted.

Well, scratch that "advantage" notion. It would be blasphemy, I guess, to allow even a pinch of loss to befall his semi-precious Lightning Dawn.

Twilight fussed and pulled hard to try and yank herself free from Lightning’s grasp, which surprisingly hurt to the touch.

She then gave one big jerk, at the same time Lightning let her go, causing her to fly backwards and land on the ground.

“I don’t understand…!” cried Twilight.

Neither do I as to how this author thought this was a good idea.

“Of course you don’t… so I’ll have to explain this as well.” said Lightning “In my training I do powerful exercises like digging with my bare hands, pulling heavy loads like giant tree logs myself, running from country to country… things like that, and by repeating them over and over each day I pushed my body beyond its built in limitations and created an incredible dexterity that makes me invulnerable to magics beneath my level.

My body’s so solid, that magic you fired couldn’t penetrate into me. this battle suit I wear also enhances my natural abilities a-hundred times. I’m surprised you don’t realized the many possibilities there are in some things. Maybe if you spent as much time researching more than just friendship, you would.”

Sigh...there he goes. The whole "might-makes-right" situation.

In all honesty, Twilight would still be boned, canon-self or not, unless she managed to get away with this information and formulate a plan. The power of a Sue is not infinite if the author has an iota of pride.

Oh, and there's a video of Twilight's transformation into a Rapidash from "Feeling Pinkie Keen". Who's wishing she just burned his vocal chords?


Twilight felt her blood boiling, so hot that she practically flared up.

See what I mean?

“Oh, did I strike a nerve…?” Lightning cheekily asked. He decided to have a little pity with her and powered his suit down, and then he threw off his armor vest and his boots. Now he only wore his pants and his under shirt.

I'll admit. Common courtesy is quite an admirable feat.

Twilight felt most insulted, and unwilling to give up she concentrated hard, “It looks like I underestimated you, but let’s see how you fight what you can’t even see!”

With that, she cast a spell of darkness, sealing them in a large bubble-like dome and surrounded by shadowy fog. Anyone wandering around it wouldn’t be able to see their hands or hoofs in front of their face.

Wow. You butchered her character so much that she's willing to invoke possible black magic. What's next? Summoning Tirek to do the dirty business?

Lightning felt impressed, “I knew Equestrians were capable of such magic, but I never thought it this strong.”

THANK YOU! Acknowledgment that you're not always better than everyone else!

Twilight snickered cheekily somewhere in the fog, “So do you admit my ways are better than yours?”

“Different… yes, but far from better, given its level.”

Well...fine. Guess their can't be any "advantages", though.

Aside from the cuteness factor. Lightning, you'd lose by a country mile.




Twilight growled softly, but then concentrated on sensing Lightning’s presence in the fog. She found him, and charged at him, but she hit nothing but air.

“Missed me…!”

“What?!” snapped Twilight.

“I said you missed me.”

“It was a rhetorical question!” growled Twilight. She sensed for him again and charged, but missed again, and again, and again.

Okay, that was a smidgen more clever than usual dialogue in these fics.

“Let me guess… you have night-vision too?” Twilight asked.

Even she's starting to think he's pulling things out of his ass.

“Don’t be silly…” sneered Lightning. “Even if I did, my eyes aren’t even open.”

Twilight froze on the spot.

“That’s right…” continued Lightning “We train for many situations in Starfleet. I may not be able to see you, but I can still tell where you are and where you’re coming from… by the sounds of your breathing and your footsteps.”

If that's the case, how come you have a string of losses in your record? Do the names "Titan" or "falling pillar about to crush Cadence's unborn child" ring any bells?

Seriously...I can never look at the Starfleet series the same way again after that.


Twilight then felt Lightning place his hand on her back, which scared her so much, she jumped right up and through the dome, shattering it and dispelling the fog.

Lightning reopened his eyes, and looked at Twilight. She was panting and starting to look a little shaky, while the truth was he hadn’t even thrown his first punch yet.

Sad to say, Death Battles are usually more flashy. All this has been is a massive jerk-off session for the overpowered character.

“I can’t give up!” Twilight said to herself “The honor of Equestria, the spirit of friendship is at stake. I’m not going to let some overpowered pony make a fool of me!”

Like I said. Also, nothing about this is related to the "spirit of friendship". If it was, this battle wouldn't even come to fruition.

And don't say "Death Battle usually gives bad reasons for people to fight." No. We come there for the fight. This doesn't even have that advantage. And I looked ahead a bit.


Lightning was feeling very bored with this fight, though he did admire Twilight for her courage he couldn’t help but say in his thought, “Her determination is high, and that’s good, but that’s the extent of it. If she doesn’t stop this soon she’ll knock herself to bits, and acting overconfident will be the thing that brings her down for sure.”

At least you give her that. She's a tough cookie, I'll say.

Twilight’s eyes shined brightly, and her whole body was bathed in white light.

“What are you doing now?” asked Lightning. He got his answer when six magical relics appeared above her head; one of them was a crown with a star gem in the center. It softly landed on her head.

Again with the Elements of Harmony? You didn't see Dash or Pinkie whip those out when the going got tough!

The other five relics just floated in midair, but in a wall of bright lights and magica aura, five more ponies appeared.

Did this REALLY have to drag down the other ponies down into the mud?! You really have no restraint, you know that?

The spirits of Rarity… Rainbow Dash… Applejack… Pinkie Pie… and Fluttershy…

One-by-one, each of them seemed to speak to Twilight.

Rarity: “We’re with the all the time, darling.”

Rainbow Dash: “You bet! Now get in there and kick his rump!”

Applejack: “Eeyup! Show him whose boss girl.”

Pinkie Pie: “This is so excited!”

Fluttershy: “Yay.”

Any other bits of stock dialogue this can throw in? Although, given the track record of these fics, this was medium.

Lightning watched in astonishment. He wasn’t pretending to be this time, he really was amazed.

Thank you, again. It's quite a sight, I'll say.

“You see, Lightning Dawn…” Twilight called to him in a majestic voice, “My friends may not be here with me, but we are connected… connected by the friendship, the love, the magic we share through one another, and in the Elements of Harmony.

Something you and your space pals spend so much time denouncing and saying “is no good!”

Lightning closed his eyes and hung his head low a little.

"Now, get off my planet and give my characterization back."

If...only.

“Look at that… I think he’s lost it now.” said Rainbow.

“Well, he’s all yer’s Twilight.” said Applejack “Get in there and finish him off!”

The others nodded proudly, and Twilight smiled at the spirits of her friends. Then she turned back to face Lightning, “Any last words…?”

"Yes. It's hard being one...of a ki-"

"Fire."

Lightning said nothing, and he didn’t even look up.

“Fine…!”

Twilight her friends each called out their element…

Rarity: “Generosity!”

Rainbow Dash: “Loyalty!”

Applejack: “Honesty!”

Pinkie Pie: “Laughter!”

Fluttershy: “Kidness!”

Twilight: “Magic!”

I've heard of kindness, but never the Element of Kidness. Does Fluttershy want to be a foal again?

I'm getting some unpleasant Pattycakes flashback, right now...


With that done, the elements combined their powers and were unleashed in a stream of colorful lights straight at Lightning, hitting him full force!

When the lights had faded, the five pony images were cheering for joy and Twilight smiled proudly… but her smile faded as she looked on.

“Huh…? It… can’t be!”

The spirits of her friends looked on as well and were just as horrified. There stood Lightning, with not even a scratch on him.

Because, unless Mykan's feeling generous, anything the normal ponies throw at their foes amounts to squat! Why did you even BOTHER with this fic?!

What was more, his golden horn was glowing brightly, and his entire body was glowing in a bright golden light.

“Whatever is that?” cried Rarity.

“I thought he couldn’t do magic.” added Fluttershy.

"It's like he pulled it out of his...oh dear...that looks really painful..."

Lightning’s lips curled into a cheeky smile, “What you are all witnessing is a power so rare and incredible, only ponies with a rare golden horn like me can use it! So while I can’t do normal magic like you can, I still have a power of my own!”

"I am a SUPER SUE-AIN!"

Twilight gawked in astonishment and horror as Lightning glowed brighter than ever, and there, right above him she could see six spirits of other humanoid ponies.

Starla Shine… Buddy Rose… Artie… Rhymey… and the Spanish twins, Dyno and Myte.

“Are those… could it possibly be?!” Twilight stammered.

I know. Primus help us. We're going to have to deal with the OTHER overpowered and even less interesting OCs!

“It is… Twilight.” replied Lightning “…I have friends too, and though they’re not here with me, I believe in them just as they believe in me, which gives me more strength than ever.”

Isn't that, like, the same as friendship? Because belief can be twisted into more malevolent shapes than the phrase "friendship". Just saying.

One-by-one each of the alicorns spoke to the Equestrians…

Starla: “Starfleet doesn’t denounce friendship. We believe in it just as anyone else does.”

Unless you're the author, who will write entire blog posts on how it amounts to nothing. It's a vicious cycle.

Buddy: “We just know that sometimes, it’s not always friendship that will save you.”

Uh...the ponies knew that. Want to see the ratio of how many villains were punished and how many "redeemed"? You didn't see them trying to give a boutique of roses to Tirek when he ravaged the land!

Artie: “We know it sounds hard to believe but it’s true. It’s how we all we all became what we are today.”

Though uninteresting characterization, asinine plots, and an author with his head in the clouds. Or storm-clouds, if you think about it.

Rhymey:

We train very hard, you see,

To strengthen both magic and body

With our knowledge so strong, we can barely go wrong,

It is how we attain victory.”

Nice limerick. Now, if you'll kindly, as a wonderful Starfleet officer, pet that White Fatalis over there...

The twins nodded and said together, “You’re going down Chicas!”

Vete a la mierda.

Twilight and the spirits of her friends were livid and still determined not to lose, and began to charge up for another blast.

(Skip to 0:38)

Yu-gi-oh footage. Because this wasn't complete without more excessive author appeal. This one features Exodia's victory against the Blue Eyes White Dragons. Except that was awesome. This is far from it.

“Sorry it has to be this way, but you asked for it.” Lightning said “…UNIFORCE!!”

He unleashed a massive hyperactive wave of golden energy so powerful, it cut right through the Element’s blasts, knocking the six elements away, and blasting the images of Twilight’s friends to ash that sped past Twilight as she SCREAMED IN SUCH TERROR…!!

And that was the precise moment Mykan got up from his chair and screeched in victory before grabbing a Celestia doll and doing God-knows-what.

The light faded, and the entire behind her was completely leveled. Trees were burned, the mountains were reduced to sand, not a blade of grass was left, as for the elements, they all lay on the ground, turned to stone…

Congrats. This little pissing match has reduced an entire ecosystem to nothing. The wondrous world of Starfleet, everyone!

The blast had totally blown out their powers, every last drop.

Twilight fortunately had not been his as Lightning aimed very carefully. If he had hit her, she would have been blown to ashes!

Ah, don't worry, Twilight. Your time to die already came in the form of another shitty OC. Raven, anyone?

Twilight looked so devastated, so frightened. She stood where she was, trembling and whimpering so fearfully.

Lightning stood where he was, still strong and proud. The spirits of his friends had faded.

Twilight finally fell to her knees, and hung her head low as tears came to her eyes.

Wait a frag-nugget. Are her friends...dead? As in, vaporized to ash over a petty squabble? Surely leaving many family members and friends in heartache and thus, turning this version of Twilight into a pariah?



CHILDREN ARE CRYING! CHILDREN! That makes me mad, you postulating arrogant fool! REALLY REALLY-

...I aplogize for that outburt. It's just that...the implications are horrifying. I don't usually act this way around normal Death Battles, but...I'll explain at the end. I just needed a quick breather.


“I… surrender!”

As far as Death Battles go, this is the most merciful way anyone opponent gotten out. Aside from joke battles, that is.

!!K.O!!

Though many would normally consider the outcome of that battle a rip-off, the facts remained obvious that Lightning could have killed Twilight any time he wanted. Though Twilight’s efforts were good and strong, in the end her power, strength and skills were no match for the power of the intense training she had gone up against.

Rip-off isn't how I'd describe this. It was doomed from the start and, frankly, I didn't expect any different. I'd say I bet on the right horse. If you know what I mean.

The winner, by surrender, as well as obvious outmatching… was Lightning Dawn!

As well as one HELL of a bias and a hate-boner the size of Asia and Europe combined.

Twilight remained where she was, shamed and humiliated over her loss.

Lightning could only take pity on her. “I tried to warn you about this, but you chose to learn the hard way.”

Though half-assed writing. I think I've said enough about that fact by now.

She looked up at him, her expression was a mixture of shame, sadness, anger, jealousy, but most of all, confusion…

“You are a remarkable Pony, Twilight Sparkle, and you have amazing qualities in friendship and harmony, which is fine… but you need to realize and understand that things aren’t always as simple as you think.

Practice what you preach, jackass. If this author did, he would have looked into the fact that it's okay to be wrong a few times in your life and realized he had made a complete hash out of his life.

But what's the point of risking an unstoppable force (him) going after an immovable object (me)?


You’ve got to consider all your possibilities, realize that your way is not the only way, and most importantly… listen to what other have to say instead of jumping the gun and assuming the worst and thereby making things worse than they already are.”

I could list a few examples that contradict that claim, but we'd be here forever, I can't reply to any of Mykan's mail (not that I'd wish to fan the flames more), and I frankly don't care anymore.

Twilight said nothing, she really didn’t know what to say or what to think after all she had been told and all she had just experienced.

With the fight now over, Lightning decided to leave. “I wish you the best of luck… until we meet again.”

And I wish you take a flying trip to the Void.

He leapt up into the sky, though a space-warp portal that had opened, and was gone. Leaving Twilight to consider that she had much to learn still, just as the many before her did.

Don't forget the fact that her friends are FRAGGING DEAD! Pretty soon, all of Eqestria (even Grand Ruler's waifu, Celestia) is going to be calling for your fragging heads!

The final scenes were of Lightning and his friends soaring across the cosmos and searching for new adventures as their struggle against evil and injustice continued!

Until Darksied came and promptly showed that he simply IS.

(Skip to 1:15)

And there's the intro theme. Whatever. Fic over.

In all honesty...this is sad. I would leave this alone if this were just another random blog post that he made just to keep himself from even thinking that his "cause" is for naught, but as a full-fledged fic? Based on Death Battle, no less?

Well, I shouldn't have to explain why it fails as a Death Battle. It's too one-sided and the dialogue is nothing more than a cauldron of bad writing and straw-made horses. Anthro or not. Also, the obvious glee in causing Equestria pain lowers the score.

But, really, what kills it is the fact there's no reason for this to exist. It offers nothing to the mythology of the Starfleet series, it doesn't even fit into the canon, and who was betting Twilight Sparkle would win in a fight against this clod anyway? More trolls?! We at Project AFTER think she's she's a better CHARACTER than your OC. We all know Sues pull things out of their ass daily. Maybe there's a member on here would would like to see her thrash this bufoon to the next planet, but I'm not that guy.

Now, hopefully, Mykan will keep writing the same thing and I won't have to bother with this. I mean, it's not like he'll up and trash some other good series.


This post has been edited by MasterOfNintendo: Mar 18 2017, 01:40 AM


--------------------



The mistakes I see in this this work are to be pointed out so they may not be repeated.
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Post #2
StabbyKobold


Critically Sarcastic
****

Group: Members
Posts: 507
Joined: 10-June 12
From: Denmark
Member No.: 660
Gender: Male



post Mar 18 2017, 04:20 AM
This wasn't a Death Battle. Heck, it wasn't even a battle. It was the pony rendition of the Book of Job.

Is there anything more obnoxious than seeing an author force a character they don't like into spitting in the face of a god, and then expect us to cheer when they are given their dues?

I don't even know why the name Death Battle is tagged onto this, because Mykan uses it as nothing but an excuse for the fight to even happen. Nothing else ties this mess to the series.

Good work on the mock, and kudos for sticking through this painful tripe.


--------------------
"So... preparing to storm into the room, you jostle your badger, kick down the door, and throw it at the thug standing inside." - Moment from my D&D campaign.

Click here for more mocks: List O' Mocks
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Post #3
MasterOfNintendo


I have risen...
***

Group: Members
Posts: 279
Joined: 18-January 16
Member No.: 1,747
Gender: Male



post Mar 18 2017, 10:15 AM
QUOTE (StabbyKobold @ Mar 18 2017, 05:20 AM) *
This wasn't a Death Battle. Heck, it wasn't even a battle. It was the pony rendition of the Book of Job.

Is there anything more obnoxious than seeing an author force a character they don't like into spitting in the face of a god, and then expect us to cheer when they are given their dues?

I don't even know why the name Death Battle is tagged onto this, because Mykan uses it as nothing but an excuse for the fight to even happen. Nothing else ties this mess to the series.

Good work on the mock, and kudos for sticking through this painful tripe.


Indeed. Also, Mykan, recently, compared me to a moth to a flame. Not inaccurate, I suppose. I have a habit of seeking out works of writing that should be catalogued so thus they not be repeated (mocking them creatively is another story, though). Apparently, Twilight here isn't so much herself as a character for Mykan to bash as she is a manifestation of the various critics/trolls/whatever else Mykan wanted to vent against. Personally, I would have been fine if he'd just created a whole slew of enemies based off them for Lightning to fight. Dragging Twilight into this is just undignified.

And, apparently, those weren't Twilight's friends, but spiritual images. When the hell did THAT ever happen?! Oh, silly me! I forgot! Canon has been ripped to shreds already. Why not throw in that piece of made-up logic?!

He also said I have the reading skill of a flea. I'll take that as a compliment. I like fleas. They look so cute up close!



--------------------



The mistakes I see in this this work are to be pointed out so they may not be repeated.
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Post #4
Maniak


I will mock all the fanfics in the TRI STATE AREA!!!
******

Group: Members
Posts: 4,368
Joined: 11-June 10
Member No.: 345
Gender: Male



post Mar 18 2017, 10:44 AM
Better than having the reading skills of an autistic 30 year old manchild who writes worse MLP fanfic than Chris Chan did Sonichu and who is physically getting sick about cartoons featuring little talking animals made in flash, because he never grew up at the age of five and thinks the world is at fault for everything wrong with his life.

To whcih I cna only say one thing: If you run into an asshole, you ran into an asshole.

If you see assholes all the time, maybe the problem is with you.




--------------------
It ain`t no mystery, if it`s politics or history; the thing you gotta know is, everything is showbiz

Alles was entsteht, ist wert das es zugrunde geht.
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Post #5
MasterOfNintendo


I have risen...
***

Group: Members
Posts: 279
Joined: 18-January 16
Member No.: 1,747
Gender: Male



post Mar 18 2017, 12:24 PM
QUOTE (Maniak @ Mar 18 2017, 11:44 AM) *
Better than having the reading skills of an autistic 30 year old manchild who writes worse MLP fanfic than Chris Chan did Sonichu and who is physically getting sick about cartoons featuring little talking animals made in flash, because he never grew up at the age of five and thinks the world is at fault for everything wrong with his life.

To whcih I cna only say one thing: If you run into an asshole, you ran into an asshole.

If you see assholes all the time, maybe the problem is with you.


Indeed, my good friend. Then again, at least Mykan hasn't taken up comic-making like Chris-Chan (aside from a...frankly odd depiction of Celestia watching a movie about the sun being destroyed or something and fainting because of it).

Still, this makes you wonder how he responded to those Death Battles Dash and Pinkie participated in and didn't come out in a body bag.


--------------------



The mistakes I see in this this work are to be pointed out so they may not be repeated.
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Post #6
N. Harmonik


Tourist
**

Group: Members
Posts: 135
Joined: 14-August 13
From: New Brunswick, Canada
Member No.: 929
Gender: Female



post Mar 18 2017, 03:54 PM
This is the part where I whistle innocently: http://www.deviantart.com/journal/Mane-six...attle-628690924

I wonder if I can convince to rewrite it to be a little more thorough and a little less biased.

I suppose you're going to ignore this: https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/722638/reas...he-death-battle

This post has been edited by N. Harmonik: Mar 18 2017, 04:04 PM


--------------------
Rest in peace, Brian Jacques and Jean-Yves Raimbaud!
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Post #7
MasterOfNintendo


I have risen...
***

Group: Members
Posts: 279
Joined: 18-January 16
Member No.: 1,747
Gender: Male



post Mar 18 2017, 05:01 PM
QUOTE (N. Harmonik @ Mar 18 2017, 04:54 PM) *
This is the part where I whistle innocently: http://www.deviantart.com/journal/Mane-six...attle-628690924

I wonder if I can convince to rewrite it to be a little more thorough and a little less biased.

I suppose you're going to ignore this: https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/722638/reas...he-death-battle

Well, I should have known a blog post was coming. More justification for work he considers comparable to a day in the office. Not gonna lie, some of those fan-made death battles aren't very keen on the spelling, but he lists the main reason this fic exists. Basically, a little experiment to see how people reacted. As you can imagine, he was far from pleased.

Welcome to Project AFTER, my good friend. Where the mistakes of the net are displayed, given some funny commentary (the term "funny" being relative), and the viewer shall decide if it's fair or not. I am used to negative criticism (in fact, I wish I had some more on Deviantart to tell me of my flaws better), so this is nothing new.

Mykan, condemn me all you wish. Use my quotes to your liking. I do not mind. In fact, I am flattered. Do not assume I shall descend upon the next Starfleet season (seriously, he's planning on ANOTHER one). I care little for that.

Oh, and he used a Death Battle fanon wiki for choreographing Twilight's powers instead of, say, the actual FIM wiki. I mean, I'm sure there was some information, but geez.


--------------------



The mistakes I see in this this work are to be pointed out so they may not be repeated.
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Post #8
StabbyKobold


Critically Sarcastic
****

Group: Members
Posts: 507
Joined: 10-June 12
From: Denmark
Member No.: 660
Gender: Male



post Mar 18 2017, 05:59 PM
QUOTE (N. Harmonik @ Mar 19 2017, 12:54 AM) *


I'm mildly intrigued by this, so let me see if I can properly decipher what Mykan has to say here.

One, he was purposefully making a straw-man out of Twilight Sparkle, in order to portray the behavior of those he identify as his detractors. Two, he was using the story as bait to gain "evidence of vanity, and deliberate ignorance" in order to discredit his critics.

While the first point certainly explains why he did it, it doesn't change the fact that he essentially abused a well-known character in order to create his caricature. Admitting to twisting her entire personality doesn't do anything towards making it acceptable. Again, he says he did this with the intent of causing outrage, but that doesn't change the fact, that he committed character assassination in order to do so.

His second point, to my observation, is all about attempting to avoid valid criticism via accusing his critics of being disingenuous with their critique. He wants to paint himself as a victim of slander, and argues that because he can point towards flaws, such as in MasterOfNintendo's mock, necessarily this means that nothing the critics say has any weight. A point I'm pretty sure he brings up, only because he was lucky enough for there to be flaws to cherry pick from. But that's all they are - flaws, mistakes, misunderstandings. I can't blame him for calling people out on them, but simultaneously ignoring every other point made towards the quality of his work is fallacious.


--------------------
"So... preparing to storm into the room, you jostle your badger, kick down the door, and throw it at the thug standing inside." - Moment from my D&D campaign.

Click here for more mocks: List O' Mocks
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Post #9
MasterOfNintendo


I have risen...
***

Group: Members
Posts: 279
Joined: 18-January 16
Member No.: 1,747
Gender: Male



post Mar 18 2017, 08:26 PM
QUOTE (StabbyKobold @ Mar 18 2017, 06:59 PM) *
I'm mildly intrigued by this, so let me see if I can properly decipher what Mykan has to say here.

One, he was purposefully making a straw-man out of Twilight Sparkle, in order to portray the behavior of those he identify as his detractors. Two, he was using the story as bait to gain "evidence of vanity, and deliberate ignorance" in order to discredit his critics.

While the first point certainly explains why he did it, it doesn't change the fact that he essentially abused a well-known character in order to create his caricature. Admitting to twisting her entire personality doesn't do anything towards making it acceptable. Again, he says he did this with the intent of causing outrage, but that doesn't change the fact, that he committed character assassination in order to do so.

His second point, to my observation, is all about attempting to avoid valid criticism via accusing his critics of being disingenuous with their critique. He wants to paint himself as a victim of slander, and argues that because he can point towards flaws, such as in MasterOfNintendo's mock, necessarily this means that nothing the critics say has any weight. A point I'm pretty sure he brings up, only because he was lucky enough for there to be flaws to cherry pick from. But that's all they are - flaws, mistakes, misunderstandings. I can't blame him for calling people out on them, but simultaneously ignoring every other point made towards the quality of his work is fallacious.

And that brings me to the worst aspect of him. Not his stories, not his obsession with seeing the fall of MLP, and not even that damn "Things Change" kerfuffle. It's the fact that he's willing to point out flaws, but never any positives about whatever anybody throws at him. I have the capacity to appreciate some things he shows (dragons, his music choices, etc.) but usually, execution is where it falls.

Either way, you bring up a good point. One must be humble when dealing with OOC behavior being implemented into a fic. Dancing around the issue of not being perfect is just undignified.



--------------------



The mistakes I see in this this work are to be pointed out so they may not be repeated.
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Post #10
Maniak


I will mock all the fanfics in the TRI STATE AREA!!!
******

Group: Members
Posts: 4,368
Joined: 11-June 10
Member No.: 345
Gender: Male



post Mar 19 2017, 12:24 AM
Lets just address the most hilarious thing. that he thinks people hate on him and downvote his stories on purpose because of their vanity.

Mykan criticizing others for being vain.


the guy who thinks he would be a perfect succesor to Mel Blanc without ever having worked in voice acting.

the guy who refered to his Legend of zelda crossover story as one of the most powerful stories on ff.net

the guy who calls himself DakariKING because he believes he is the king of all Digimon shippers

the guy who inserts himself more often in fanfics than Chris XChan a buttplug up his anus

the guy who called Lauren Faust a talentlss hack he could replace

the guy who thinks the VAs of MLP are his friends cause he stalks them on twitter and paid for autographs like prostitutes.

the guy who thinks of his MLP stories as better entertainment than any show made in the last 7 years in general.

yeah...


--------------------
It ain`t no mystery, if it`s politics or history; the thing you gotta know is, everything is showbiz

Alles was entsteht, ist wert das es zugrunde geht.
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Post #11
N. Harmonik


Tourist
**

Group: Members
Posts: 135
Joined: 14-August 13
From: New Brunswick, Canada
Member No.: 929
Gender: Female



post Mar 19 2017, 02:29 AM
I suppose Mykan will justify his hypocrisy in that he admits that he is vain or something.


--------------------
Rest in peace, Brian Jacques and Jean-Yves Raimbaud!
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Post #12
Maniak


I will mock all the fanfics in the TRI STATE AREA!!!
******

Group: Members
Posts: 4,368
Joined: 11-June 10
Member No.: 345
Gender: Male



post Mar 19 2017, 03:23 AM
QUOTE (N. Harmonik @ Mar 19 2017, 11:29 AM) *
I suppose Mykan will justify his hypocrisy in that he admits that he is vain or something.


...you know the guy for how long now?
Seriously, why do I need to tell you or MasterofNintendo that Mykan will never learn? He is "comfortable" with being a miserable little piece of shit who wastes welfare money on Power Rangers toys and blame the world for being a bad place, because he does not get sugar blown up his ass.

He will never stop being a miserable asshole, because it is the only "identity" he has or believes is sufficient for him. He will never improve or see the world in a more positive light, because doing so would suggest he would need to change something about himself, even if it is just his attitude. And why does he not want to do that? Because he is a scared little manchild who never grew up and accepted that changes are not necessarily bad.

He will never change. The only thing he will do is continue hating on fiction that "dares" to be more positive about things than he ever will, while ironically, he will always totally ignore the fiction that is actually as grim as he wishes MLP was. And he will continue doing so to reinforce again and again his beliefs in a weird form of self-mortification, cause if he doesn't, he will be nothing.

All we can do is the following: sit back, enjoy his mental downfall in progression and wait for the day mom and dad kick the bucket so that his other siblings will finally kick him out.
Otherwise, just ignore the guys writing and only downvote it at best.
This way the only thing he can do is get even more paranoid about the entire world hating him for made up reasons instead of associating the enemy with a face or name. Like a writer of mocks.


--------------------
It ain`t no mystery, if it`s politics or history; the thing you gotta know is, everything is showbiz

Alles was entsteht, ist wert das es zugrunde geht.
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Post #13
MasterOfNintendo


I have risen...
***

Group: Members
Posts: 279
Joined: 18-January 16
Member No.: 1,747
Gender: Male



post Mar 19 2017, 09:00 AM
QUOTE (Maniak @ Mar 19 2017, 01:24 AM) *
Lets just address the most hilarious thing. that he thinks people hate on him and downvote his stories on purpose because of their vanity.

Mykan criticizing others for being vain.


the guy who thinks he would be a perfect succesor to Mel Blanc without ever having worked in voice acting.

the guy who refered to his Legend of zelda crossover story as one of the most powerful stories on ff.net

the guy who calls himself DakariKING because he believes he is the king of all Digimon shippers

the guy who inserts himself more often in fanfics than Chris XChan a buttplug up his anus

the guy who called Lauren Faust a talentlss hack he could replace

the guy who thinks the VAs of MLP are his friends cause he stalks them on twitter and paid for autographs like prostitutes.

the guy who thinks of his MLP stories as better entertainment than any show made in the last 7 years in general.

yeah...

The only proud claim he's made that has some validity is that some of his ideas have been shown in MLP proper. I call coincidence, though. Also, in MLP, there's less bias and more focus on just telling a story.


--------------------



The mistakes I see in this this work are to be pointed out so they may not be repeated.
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Post #14
ConcernedGamer


I'm very concerned.
****

Group: Members
Posts: 589
Joined: 3-January 13
From: Denmark
Member No.: 787
Gender: Male



post Mar 19 2017, 11:37 AM
I refuse to take what Mykan is saying he's doing at face value.

He wanted to prove his work is given a bad rep, so he forged this shit-piece of no substance with hardly anything worth commenting upon? What argument is even meant to connect these points?

You prove no one wrong by merely obfuscating your work to the point where no critic can actually be right about it.

With this fanfic, these excuses and those vapid arguments for why it exist, I see nothing but an ego-tripping author producing fanfics out of hate, while feeling indignant at being called out on it. How can I conclude otherwise, I ask you?


--------------------
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Post #15
MasterOfNintendo


I have risen...
***

Group: Members
Posts: 279
Joined: 18-January 16
Member No.: 1,747
Gender: Male



post Mar 19 2017, 11:46 AM
QUOTE (ConcernedGamer @ Mar 19 2017, 12:37 PM) *
I refuse to take what Mykan is saying he's doing at face value.

He wanted to prove his work is given a bad rep, so he forged this shit-piece of no substance with hardly anything worth commenting upon? What argument is even meant to connect these points?

You prove no one wrong by merely obfuscating your work to the point where no critic can actually be right about it.

With this fanfic, these excuses and those vapid arguments for why it exist, I see nothing but an ego-tripping author producing fanfics out of hate, while feeling indignant at being called out on it. How can I conclude otherwise, I ask you?

Like I've said many times before. It's a vicious cycle. Just because he can't admit that he's wrong at anything he does, he continues to try to justify. I doubt he's even trying to convince his readers. I think he's trying to convince himself that he's not wasting his life away.

There's nothing wrong with writing fanfiction. Getting in a fuss over criticism is another. Sorry, but his reputation might transcend any positive influence he might have. Unless I'm around. I'm willing to compliment.



--------------------



The mistakes I see in this this work are to be pointed out so they may not be repeated.
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Post #16
N. Harmonik


Tourist
**

Group: Members
Posts: 135
Joined: 14-August 13
From: New Brunswick, Canada
Member No.: 929
Gender: Female



post Mar 19 2017, 11:50 AM
QUOTE (Maniak @ Mar 19 2017, 08:23 AM) *
...you know the guy for how long now?
Seriously, why do I need to tell you or MasterofNintendo that Mykan will never learn? He is "comfortable" with being a miserable little piece of shit who wastes welfare money on Power Rangers toys and blame the world for being a bad place, because he does not get sugar blown up his ass.

He will never stop being a miserable asshole, because it is the only "identity" he has or believes is sufficient for him. He will never improve or see the world in a more positive light, because doing so would suggest he would need to change something about himself, even if it is just his attitude. And why does he not want to do that? Because he is a scared little manchild who never grew up and accepted that changes are not necessarily bad.

He will never change. The only thing he will do is continue hating on fiction that "dares" to be more positive about things than he ever will, while ironically, he will always totally ignore the fiction that is actually as grim as he wishes MLP was. And he will continue doing so to reinforce again and again his beliefs in a weird form of self-mortification, cause if he doesn't, he will be nothing.

All we can do is the following: sit back, enjoy his mental downfall in progression and wait for the day mom and dad kick the bucket so that his other siblings will finally kick him out.
Otherwise, just ignore the guys writing and only downvote it at best.
This way the only thing he can do is get even more paranoid about the entire world hating him for made up reasons instead of associating the enemy with a face or name. Like a writer of mocks.


I didn't say he would change his vanity, I said that he would admit he is vain in an attempt to show up those who he thinks refuse to admit their vanity.


--------------------
Rest in peace, Brian Jacques and Jean-Yves Raimbaud!
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Post #17
MasterOfNintendo


I have risen...
***

Group: Members
Posts: 279
Joined: 18-January 16
Member No.: 1,747
Gender: Male



post Mar 19 2017, 11:55 AM
QUOTE (N. Harmonik @ Mar 19 2017, 12:50 PM) *
I didn't say he would change his vanity, I said that he would admit he is vain in an attempt to show up those who he thinks refuse to admit their vanity.

You both make some very good points, but I do think it's time to put a lid on this mock.

It is over. Mykan's probably fuming about how I'm nothing but a prideful monster and we're all nothing but a multi-headed jackass, but I could care less. Let's move on to something else.

I can say one thing, though. I can say for a fact that I am, indeed, stronger than this author despite his bluster. At least I'm doing something with my life (animation school, college, chores, and all). Even then, that's not saying much.


--------------------



The mistakes I see in this this work are to be pointed out so they may not be repeated.
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Post #18
Dashguy


Advanced Member
****

Group: Members
Posts: 1,309
Joined: 24-August 12
From: Argentina
Member No.: 712
Gender: Male



post Mar 20 2017, 08:02 AM
I think everybody already said everything there is about this...thing, so I'll just comment on this:

QUOTE
“Of course you don’t… so I’ll have to explain this as well.” said Lightning “In my training I do powerful exercises like digging with my bare hands, pulling heavy loads like giant tree logs myself, running from country to country… things like that, and by repeating them over and over each day I pushed my body beyond its built in limitations and created an incredible dexterity that makes me invulnerable to magics beneath my level.

My body’s so solid, that magic you fired couldn’t penetrate into me. this battle suit I wear also enhances my natural abilities a-hundred times. I’m surprised you don’t realized the many possibilities there are in some things. Maybe if you spent as much time researching more than just friendship, you would.”

I've noticed how Mykan is always bringing attention to the grueling training his mutant horses undergo and how it makes them superior to the ponies, but does anybody know if he himself does any kind of physical training in real life or just likes to sperg about it from the safety of his parents' basement? Silly question, I know; I'm just curious.
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Post #19
N. Harmonik


Tourist
**

Group: Members
Posts: 135
Joined: 14-August 13
From: New Brunswick, Canada
Member No.: 929
Gender: Female



post Mar 20 2017, 09:43 AM
QUOTE (Dashguy @ Mar 20 2017, 01:02 PM) *
I think everybody already said everything there is about this...thing, so I'll just comment on this:


I've noticed how Mykan is always bringing attention to the grueling training his mutant horses undergo and how it makes them superior to the ponies, but does anybody know if he himself does any kind of physical training in real life or just likes to sperg about it from the safety of his parents' basement? Silly question, I know; I'm just curious.


I heard he goes for walks during the non-winter months.


--------------------
Rest in peace, Brian Jacques and Jean-Yves Raimbaud!
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Post #20
MasterOfNintendo


I have risen...
***

Group: Members
Posts: 279
Joined: 18-January 16
Member No.: 1,747
Gender: Male



post Mar 20 2017, 09:52 AM
QUOTE (Dashguy @ Mar 20 2017, 09:02 AM) *
I think everybody already said everything there is about this...thing, so I'll just comment on this:


I've noticed how Mykan is always bringing attention to the grueling training his mutant horses undergo and how it makes them superior to the ponies, but does anybody know if he himself does any kind of physical training in real life or just likes to sperg about it from the safety of his parents' basement? Silly question, I know; I'm just curious.

To be fair, there's a scene in one Starfleet fic where the characters fight off against holographic versions of previous foes (including my personal favorite, Titan). So, that counts for something, I guess.

Seriously. When will Mykan realize that no every series not about fighting and such is expecting Leonidas to burst in and drag them to a battleground? Point is, the show wasn't made to be a Super Sentai as developed by the politics of the book 1984. Maybe Mykan can't take the fact that it actually has some action for a show made for little girls. Special mention to the Twilight Vs. Tirek scene.

Glad you could give your input, Dashguy. All that's missing is Al-Cone and the Master himself. I wouldn't recommend it, though. Can we call it quits now?


--------------------



The mistakes I see in this this work are to be pointed out so they may not be repeated.
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post

2 Pages V   1 2 >
Reply to this topicStart new topic
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:

 



Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 22nd June 2017 - 05:33 PM