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> Super Smash Sisters: Damsel to Hero, Load and loads of characters and what-the-fuckery.
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I have risen...

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post Mar 2 2017, 05:48 PM
Greetings, fellow mockers. Well, that Mykan mock was surely something, but it also taught me another thing. Us mockers exist because (while I know this is a matter of perspective and possible bias) bad writing must be pointed out in order for it not to appear again. So, I've scoured the internet for anything that strikes my fancy of being denounced and turned into an example. Right now we have a mega-crossover.

Yeah. Remember the LAST one I did? I didn't finish it, but it had something to do with Warner Bros, copious amounts of jelly, a Marty-Stu, and a really friendly Abyss.

This one's from Yamagata of Fanfiction.net. Not much about her...him...I don't know. Except Yamagata specializes in "assassination fanfics" by request. Whatever that means. Anyway, the fanfic in question is one of her longest works, clocking in at 45 CHAPTERS. 45. Admittingly, I've made 50-something Review Team fanfics at this point, but 45 chapters of this trash?! REALLY?

Am I getting ahead of myself? Well, let's dive into the first chapter and you'll see what I mean.

Pink= Myself

White= This fanfic (no more creative nicknames until something that really special comes along)

Notes:Super Smash Sisters: Damsel to Hero is a crossover story of with girls from the Smashers, girls from other Nintendo games (Krystal from Star Fox too), and girls from various anime and other video game universes. The girls are the main heroes and their commanders are Bright Noa (from Mobile Suit Gundam) and Col. Hargrove
(from Medal of Honor). The other smashers are kidnapped and the girls must form alliance of women to takethe villains down. Be warned for there is yuri and shoujo-ai stuff in the story.

Did you catch that? That's our basic summary of this fic. Confused? You haven't seen anything yet.

Also, nice to see that Krystal has been given the Zoidberg treatment in this fic.

"The death of one man is a tragedy. The death of millions is a statistic." Joseph Stalin

It's gonna be one of THOSE fics, isn't it? The one that pretends to be deep by citing quotes you got from every FPS known to man, but comes off as pretentious. Especially with the subject matter at hand.

Chapter 1:Smashers are Kidnapped, Meet the girls

Nice to see each chapter gets right to the point. It's almost as if this fic thinks we're idiots who'd get confused easily!

1 Year since the defeat of Tabuu and the Subspace Emissary. Peace had reigned in the galaxy. At the end of the Brawl tournament, Solid Snake became reigning champion. The agent defeated Mario in the final round at Delfino Isle.

Of course! When it comes down to possibly drug-inducing mushrooms, bazookas and grenades tend to be the deal-breakers.

Outskirts of the Mushroom Kingdom.

3 trucks drove through the canyon. Inside each were 12 smashers (Mewtwo, Pichu and Roy had rejoined the Smashers).

Who's betting that Pichu and Mewtwo were belitted due to the whole business with tiers? Remember, kids! Tiers are for qu....I can't do it.

In the head truck was a man in an Earth Federation uniform standing up and holding the ceiling: Bright Noa.

From what I get, Bright Noa is a Gundam character who's rather infamous for slapping the piss out of people. Not a bad guy, but geez. Also, I know it's anime, but who names their kid "Bright Noa"?! Then again, I'm thinking of naming my future kid Zeromus...

I'm dead serious. Yeah, I'm weird that way.

With him were Mario, Link, Pikachu, Sonic, Pit, Yoshi, Donkey Kong, Luigi, Ness, Kirby, Olimar and R.O.B..

In the truck behind were Bowser, Ganondorf, King Dedede, Wario, Wolf, Ice Climbers, Toon Link, Meta Knight, Mewtwo, Lucario, Mr. Game and Watch and Diddy Kong. Popo felt uncomfortable working with Ganondorf.

First of all, there's proof that the amount of characters is going to go through the fragging roof. Also, Popo's the only one not comfortable with working with the king of all evil? I'm pretty sure the other guys with you have some qualms about working with him. Aside from Link's and company, Captain Falcon might have a few words to say about the whole moveset deal.

The truck behind contained, Fox Mccloud, Falco Lombardi, Captain Falcon, Solid Snake, Ike, Marth, The Pokemon Trainer (with Squirtle, Ivysaur and Charizard in Pokeballs, Jigglypuff, Roy, Pichu, Lucas and Lucario.

Before the mission began, Mario requested to Master Hand before leaving that Peach, Zelda and Samus keep the mansion safe and clean.

Son of a deviljho. This is gonna turn into a feminist rant, isn't it? I'm already bracing for the discourse. To be fair, they invited Nana with them. Right?

Also, Mario, you're a fragging moron. Samus is a universally feared bounty hunter, Peach can fly, and Zelda is a master of magic. There goes 3 more potential sources of backup.

"We're nearing the check point sir." Bright's driver said.

Bright addressed "Okay squad, listen up. Spotters have intercepted a drug deal taking place in a town not far from here. We gotta find the dealers and take the drugs."

All these characters, who have all sorts of abilities that could level a country (if not more) if combined, jammed together just to take down a drug deal?! What? Is this actually some kind of plan to have all these characters spread out and eliminate all drugs of the known world? Jesus Christ.

Bright watched the trucks following with an eagle eye as if something bad would happen. His lamp would burn out eventually. With the trucks near the checkpoint, Bright ordered "Everyone stay quiet." then shuts off the lamp, "It's got to work."

Does anyone in this site known standard military etiquette? I'm wondering how this lamp thing makes sense.

The trucks stop at the checkpoint and there are German Nazis around.

Okay, historical inaccuracies or not (unless these are just Neo-Nazis), it's fun to imagine Nintendo's flagship characters beating the piss out of the Third Reich.

One of them goes to the driver of the middle truck. The driver shows his papers and says "Is this good?" in German. The german examines the
papers carefully.

I'm getting the slight feeling that all Germans here are going to be nothing but Swastika-bearing murderous oafs. Hope Maniak isn't here to see this. And hopefully, I'm wrong about that last statement.

Mario was worried "He's taking-a too long."

"And to-a think my-a country used to be-a part of their axis!"

Bright tapped the ceiling and said "He'll buy it. Keep it shut."

"Here. All this is good." The German handed the papers back to the driver "Danke." the driver said. The German pulls an MP40 out "I also need to
see your license and registration!"

"Also, I can tell you're not with us because this fic has turned Germany into a Nazi state and I'm pretty sure we didn't invite any Brits into our army!"

Yeah, Bright Noa's kinda British. I did my research. Marginally.

Link's heart was beating fast "He's not taking them Bright." and gripped the Master Sword tight.

He felt the cries for a "Legend of Zelda: Modern Warfare" blare in his mind, breaking his concentration.

The driver pulls a shotgun out and blasts the German. "Go go! Get the trucks moving, we got trouble!" Bright shouted. Before any drivers
responded, all of them are shot.

"Change of plans! Let's get the hell going!" Bright jumped out followed by Mario then others.

Just a thought. I'm surprised this fic didn't choose a place with a bigger drug industry for this "mission". Really branching out possibilities, aren't you? Or is this just an excuse to show the Nazis?

Bright shot the German who killed the middle truck driver with a Walther P99. Mario used his fireball to incinerate one.

The logical conclusion of any humans that oppose the plumber in Mario Odyssey.

The other smashers get out of their trucks and Fox says "That was rough."

"Let's hit the town!" Bright ordered.


The team heads to the gate which is open. 3 Germans are waiting, Fox blasts one with his blaster, Luigi burns the other with a green fireball, and Captain Falcon Falcon Punches the last to oblivion.

There goes the element of surprise, you oaf.

"That's no way to greet travelers!" Sonic said to the dead German.

"More-a than an outrage than a greeting." Mario said.

Well, they're Nazis, so...clever?

Bright reloaded "Good, let's hit it!"

On a railing on a house, a German prepares to snipe Bright but Link pulls out his Hero's Bow and shoots an arrow into the German's throat "Got one!" Link shouted. At a stockpile, a captain and his cronies notice Donkey Kong and attack. They fire as much but Donkey and Diddy race past and slam them into the ground.


Diddy gives a thumbs down to the downed captain.

Who, most likely, painted the floor with his brain matter due to being hit square on the forehead with the fists of the apes.

"Don't blame me. I got a girl to feed soon." Donkey rubbed his head.

So, he's married in this timeline? Good for him. Must have showered PLENTY of coconut cream pies unto his beloved.

Bright smirked "What about you Diddy?"

Diddy took off his hat "Well, Dixie is waiting anxiously for me."

Falco put his hands in confusion "I guess he doesn't have eyes for just Fox."

Wait a minute. Diddy's gay for Fox in this canon? And still has a crush on Dixie? Dude really gets around, I suppose.

The team continue on and see the deal taking place in the town square. Snake shouts "Tossing grenade!" then throws a grenade into a dealer's crate. The grenade goes up and the bad guys are blown up.

Wouldn't him just tossing a grenade without LOUDLY ANNOUNCING IT be enough?

The druggers take out H&K guns and shoot at the smashers.

Kirby gave a thumbs up, "Watch closely." the pink little man did Final Cutter to a drug addict slicing him in half. Meta Knight charged and slashed another apart.

"Come back when you start getting bad at tournaments."

Bright killed the rest.

"That was amazing." Bowser said.

Meta Knight held his sword up "Still undefeated swordsman in Dream Land."

And top tier terror, don't forget.

Ganondorf pointed "Bright check that door." the Earth Federation officer walked to the door and tapped on it. It was locked from the inside. Then clanking noises are heard.

"What the heck was that?" Sonic heard the sound.

"I think I heard something bad." Pit noticed. Then an Arab man with cloth around his face with an RPG appeared.

So, basically, this is a Nazi-Terrorist cabal of the worst stereotypes known to man that dedicates its wares to selling drugs? I know Nintendo games could get unusual, but geez.

The Pokemon Trainer was horrified "AMBUSH!" the RPG user then shot him. Seconds then, the trainer is a trophy.

Oh. So that logic is still there. Ever wonder if that was put into their indivisual games? Could if mean that any important character considered "dead" could just be brought back to life with a tap on the base? So many questions...

Then windows in a two story house open and reveal an Arab OpFor manning an MG42 and some Germans inside. The heavy gunner shot his machine gun like a maniac shooting at other smashers. The gunner failed to get Bright but got Sonic, R.O.B., Kirby, Luigi and Ness leaving them trophies.

I guess I could say this about this version of Sonic. You're too slow.

"Damn that guy!" Bright aimed carefully and got the gunner. A German kicked the door to the 2 story house open and Fox shot him. "Go up there!" Fox shouted before a sniper shot him in the head and he turned into a lifeless trophy.

No doubt punishment for the future release of Star Fox Zero.

"Bright! Get to the-a machine gun!" Mario shouted before a German from above shot him in the heart. The plumber gave Bright a frightened look before becoming a trophy.

Shot through the heart! And this fic's to blame!

Bright shot the German then got up stairs and shot the Germans present. Snake, Ike, Lucario, Falco, Toon Link, Wario and Lucas joined him.

Not gonna touch the bases of those guys? M'kay.

The smashers covered the Earth Federation officer as he manned the gun with some of the German's weapons.

On the other side, windows opened and more Germans and OpFors were on the otherside. Falco shot one German dead, but couldn't save Popo or Nana in time for the Germans shot them and left them trophies.

Even sadder, he never got to break the news to them that they weren't gonna be in the next Smash Bros. game.

"Those bastards! I can get them!" Snake shouted and helped Bright with a Nikita rocket launcher. After some fighting, Bright and Snake saw that the other smashers below had been turned trophies. It had taken Bright forever to get his team together, and now they were being wiped out.

Trust me, I don't doubt that. With all those clashing personalities, inviting them to join you must have been murder.

"Get going Bright." Falco warned.

"Leave us." Wario told him.

Kinda odd for Wario to act so grim and composed. Normally, he'd just high-tail it out of there and probably be shot down in an instant.

"Tell Krystal everything that happened tonight." Falco assured.

"Call my sister about this tragedy." Ike told Bright.

"And tell Boyd he can't have her until they both get an A-Rank support."

Bright was worried "You may not survive without me."

"I'll dedicate it all to Kumatora." Lucas gripped a fist.

"A.K.A one of the many people that convinced me that life WASN'T one horrible mishap after the next."

Seriously, that boy's seen things...

Lucario saluted "We'll protect your retreat."

"We got you covered Bright. Now go! Run!" Snake shouted.

Bright exited the building and failed to notice a Panzerfaust Wehrmacht shoot his rocket and turn Snake, Wario, Lucario, Ike, Toon Link, Falco and
Lucas into trophies.

Isn't it wonderful to see all these wonderful characters get one-shotted by every weapon under the sun?

Bright raced to a checkpoint with a jeep near 2 guards. Bright took out the guards and got in then drove off.

At the sight of the battle, a shadow popped out. It was a woman with data like Tabuu was made of but green. Her name was Emerald.

Anyone else getting a certain impression?

I thought so.

The green woman chuckled then said "Show yourselves to me." then some villains appeared before her kneeling for their mistress:

Alright. Show me the long-ass line-up.

General Scales, Shadow the Hedgehog,

Wait, Shadow? You'd think he'd be tired of being mind-controlled at this point.

Ashnard, Blood Falcon, King Boo, Seth, Geese Howard, Liquid Snake, Revolver Ocelot, Eugeal, Mimet, Telulu, Byruit, Rubeus, Nacien, Valtome, Khaled Al-Asad, Zant, Vladimir Makarov, Victor Zakhaev, Cervantes de Leon, Astaroth, Samurai Goroh, Darkrai, Ridley, Spandam, Rob Lucci, Kaku, Jyabura, Kalifa, Dozle Zabi, Garma Zabi, Itachi Uchiha, Kisame Hoshigaki, Porky Minch, Cell, Billy Kane, Pigma Dengar, Leon Powalski, Panther Caroso, Michelo Chariot and Kyoji Kasshu.

....yep. Like I expected any different.

"Rise and state names." Emerald announced. The villains did so.

I smell filler. Wait, hold on. You're not ACTUALLY going to do an entire scene where the villains introduce themselves, right? RIGHT?!

Sigh. Go ahead.

"General Scales, rightful leader of Sauria." Scales bowed.

And closet homosexual.

"Shadow the Hedgehog, rival of Sonic." Shadow bowed.

And ex-edgelord.

"Ashnard, 13th King of Daein." Ashanrd bowed.

Obviously, his luck has been rather poor.

"Blood Falcon, the rightful falcon of F-Zero." Blood Falcon bowed.

Still hasn't figured out how the Falcon Punch works.

"King Boo, leader of the Boo race." King Boo bowed.

Still better than Donald Trump.

"Seth, leader of S.I.N." Seth bowed.

I would never imagined SETH of all people bowing. In fact, several of these people should be up in arms about working for this OC.

"Geese Howard, boss of Southtown." Geese bowed.


"Liquid Snake, leader of F.O.X.H.O.U.N.D. And brother of Solid Snake." Liquid Snake bowed.

"Revolver Ocelot, professional interrogator and greatest gunfighter." Ocelot bowed.

They're probably mad at the world ever since Konami eviscerated any dignity they had.


"Eugeal, leader of Witches 5." Eugeal bowed.

"Mimet, charming member of Witches 5." Mimet bowed.

"Telulu, flowery member of Witches 5." Telulu bowed.

"Byruit, member of Witches 5." Byruit bowed.

"Rubeus, member of the Negamoon family." Rubeus bowed.

Oh, good. Sailor Moon enemies. I'm pretty sure Mykan is foaming at the mouth that Link isn't the one to save the day here.

"Nacien, handsome and beautiful member of the Bern Dragon Generals." Nacien bowed.

Meanwhile, his dragon bows his head in shame about being in this fanfic.

"Valtome, Duke of Culbert in Begnion." Valtome bowed.

Basically, what happens when you cross Weird Al with a giggling moron.

"Khaled Al-Asad, leader of OpFor and owner of the Middle East." Al-Asad said in Arabic then bowed.

He pointed his gun at Emerald, daring for her to make another Achmed the Dead Terrorist joke.

"Zant, Twili King." Zant bowed.

Before doing a funny dance. Yeah, he's like that.

"Vladimir Makarov, successor to Zakhaev." Makarov bowed.

Hey, Vladimir. How's it hanging?

Pun intended, you terrorist fink.

"Victor Zakhaev, commander of field Ultranationalists." Victor Zakhaev said in Russian then bowed.

I can never really see COD baddies working with superpowered beings and assorted monsters. They probably think they're in some kind of bad acid trip.

"Cervantes de Leon, pirate captain from Spain." Cervantes bowed.

The males in the room began to think of his daughter and they quietly excused themselves to the bedroom.

"Astaroth, minion of Ares." Astaroth bowed.

Before screaming about how he wanted more souls.

"Samurai Goroh, Grand rival of Captain Falcon." Goroh bowed.

As he swung his sword around and fell off the stage, per the usual.

"Darkrai, dark Pokemon in history." Darkrai bowed.

Great. Just make Darkrai the villain again. Hopefully, they give him some motivation other than the fact that "he looks scary, so he's evul".

"Ridley, leader of Space Pirates and enemy of Samus." Ridley bowed.

"Also, say I'm too fucking big and I will gut all of you like trout."

"Spandam, chief of CP9." Spandam bowed.

OUT! Get this creep OUT!

"Rob Lucci, strongest member of CP9." Lucci bowed.

"Kaku, honest member of CP9." Kaku bowed.

"Jyabura, competition member of CP9." Jyabura bowed.

"Kalifa, clever member of CP9." Kalifa bowed

Of this group, I'd say Lucci's the only one I give a damn about.

"Dozle Zabi, commander of Zeon space forces." Dozle bowed.

"Garma Zabi, commander of earth Zeon forces." Garma bowed.

I only know Dozle rather well and, for all his villainy, the guy went out like a man.

"Itachi Uchiha, brother of Sasuke and member of Akatsuki, seekers of the nine-tails." Itachi bowed.

Is this gonna turn into another Itachi whiner fest? Please don't...

"Kisame Hoshigaki, water ninja member of Akatsuki." Kisame bowed.

Sharks are awesome. Let him in.

"Porky Minch, bad neighbor of Ness." Porky bowed in his spider mech.

That's it? You forgot the little detail of turning your world into a living hell with you as an immature dictator that ruined the lives of so many people (especially children).

"Cell, strongest of Dr. Gero's creations and perfect android." Cell bowed.


"Billy Kane, henchman for Geese." Billy bowed.

The pole's compensating for something. I know it.

"Pigma Dengar, ex-Star Fox pilot and Star Wolf member." Pigma bowed.

"Leon Powalsky, assassin for Star Wolf." Leon bowed.

"Panther Caroso, handsome member of Star Wolf." Panther bowed.

Of these 3, kill Pigma. Just...kill him. Anyone who's played the games will know what I mean.

"Michelo Chariot, mafia boss and member of Dark Gundam Corps." Michelo bowed.

"Kyoji Kasshu, brother of Domon and pilot of Dark Gundam." Kyoji bowed.

Whatever. I'm done. You just wasted our time, now.

"Good. I prefer the Primids but not other Subspace species. In addition, I will use humans, mainly the Nazis, the OpFor, the Russian Ultranationalists and Zeon forces and their mobile suits." Emerald explained.

Look, you don't have a bad list of allies but...WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU GET RID OF YOUR SUBSPACE ARMY SANS THE PRIMIDS?! That be like if Bowswer laid off his forces except for the freaking Goombas!

"If you all perform well, I can let you be on your own free will in a non-extradition country." Emerald promised.

So, they're under mind-control. Makes sense.

"Oh yes Mimet, you, me and Eugeal, we can mope around on sandy beaches peacefully, drink umbrella drinks, and my favorite, spy on naked women! Uwee hee hee!" Valtome told the Witches 5 members. The witches joined him in laughter.

I'm surprised they didn't deck him in the face for that remark.

"Maybe rock and roll all night." Billy cheered.

"First things first, take these trophies away." Emerald ordered. Then Primids and Germans loaded the trophies starting with Mario onto the truck. "Unlike my brother Tabuu, I can leave subspace and use my powers too."

If you have that power, then, perhaps, you might be a bit more proactive. Take it from Cooler's book.

Emerald told Geese. The Germans drove the trapped smashers away. The Germans didn't see a Dedede badge on King Dedede.

You bet he's prepared to do the very same thing he did in the original game. Greninja is waiting for him back home. She's into that, alright?

On the road, Bright noticed a phone in the jeep and used it to call somebody.

"Col. Hargrove I presume?" Bright talked to the other end.

Apparently, he's that Medal of Honor guy. Moving on.

Hargrove's voice said "Yes Bright."

"Listen, gather up as much women you can find and meet me at the Smash Mansion when done." Bright told the colonel.


"Well, Mario and the other Smash Bros, were ambushed and turned into trophies." Bright explained.

"Also, we fought Nazis and terrorists. Yeah, I hate Mondays too."

Hargrove was shocked "My god. This is terrible. I'll get on it. Get to the Smash Mansion. See you there." Hargrove hung up as Bright continued on.

Smash Mansion.

Peach, Zelda and Samus had enjoyed a hard day of cleaning while Mario was gone. The 3 girls cleaned the kitchen while wearing panties and aprons.

This is what our favorite heroines have been reduced to. Take a gander.

To make it easy, the girls had a radio on.

As soon as Samus cleaned some pots and pans, she switched the song from a childrens movie to Daitarn III by I Micronauti (song owned by them). Peach turned her
head "Hey, I was listening to that."

"Felt that music from Italy could make it more fun." Samus reasoned.

Zelda giggled "Oh she is somewhat cute."

Can't argue with that. Who's to say she doesn't play classical music in her head as she mows down armies of Space Pirates?

As the girls finished cleaning, Master Hand came in.

"My my. This place is much better now." Master Hand admired.

"Also, could you wear something that doesn't turn you folks into jerk-off material? It's undignified."

"Thanks Hand." Peach smiled. "Can we have free time now?" Zelda asked.

Hand put his fingers down "Okay. You can go in the indoor pool, play billiards, however you like."

"And don't get any funny ideas of doing any...things with me. I'm only a hand, for God's sake."

The girls decided pool inside. While getting some clothes to put on after swimming, Peach realized "Oh my god. Our bathing suits are in the
washer. They won't be done till later."

Samus had an idea then turned to the princess "Let's forget the bathing suits right now."


"Yes. Besides, we're the only girls here right now." Zelda had a hand to the back of her head.

Even a guy with his dick cauterized can tell where this is going.

The girls carried their clothes to the indoor pool. The pool was shaped like the Smash Bros. Logo.

Of course it is.

One by one, the ladies put their clothes on some lawn chairs. They then slip off their aprons revealing all underneath but their crotches. After peeling off their underpants, the girls were all naked.

The now naked women ran for the more deeper part of the pool and cannon-balled in.

Peach surfaced while Zelda and Samus followed.

"Whew. That was very nice." Peach smiled.

Zelda got some of her hair away from her eyes "Yep. 3 of us right now."

"No men, no worries." Samus squeezed one of her breasts and smiled.

That's not what you said after you spent time with R.O.B. Hint, hint.

Yep. I ship him and her. I am officially trash.

Peach noticed that Samus's hair was long as hers.

"When did you brush last time?" Peach was confused.

Samus held part of her hair "Yesterday night."

"After I repressed more memories of Other M. That game was shit, plain and simple."

Peach turned to Zelda then gripper her tight. The 2 princesses started to kiss. While their tongues explored each other, Zelda's right hand groped one of Peach' breasts. Zelda rubbed her hand and even touched one of Peach's nipples. The 2 break the kiss and Zelda tells the blonde princess "You're it."

Suddenly, lesbians. Usually, I'm for this, but this is kinda sudden. And this is coming from the guy who's commissioned several...interesting pieces of fanart.

Zelda swam off, Peach chased after her. After some evasive maneuvers, Peach got Zelda by touching her.

"Beautiful." Peach admired. "Before bed, you came to me and Mario's room and we watched Cinderella and Meteor on our T.V., did you like the ending?"

Cinderella I get, but Meteor? The poor man's version of Armageddon? I mean, Armageddon is slag, but still.

Zelda nodded "Oh yes, even some of the disasters in the Meteor movie."

As the girls laughed, Samus smirked "Nice, somewhat spoiled and cute kids." The huntress swam to them and lifted Peach from the water. The
huntress held Peach as if holding a lost child.

"Just like when I patched Pikachu up and held him close." Samus smiled at her companion.

Okay, what kind of kink are you implying, Aran?

Peach patted her friend's breasts and grinned "That cute one can sometimes get in trouble around here."

Zelda had an idea "Well, since our lovers aren't here right now, how 'bout we do an experiment?" the girls agreed.

For those of you calling this feminist garbage...I sincerely couldn't tell you. From the looks of it, they just like sleeping around. I'm going to avoid double-standard laden discourse, if you don't mind.

The girls swam to an edge and Zelda sat on it showing off her vagina to the 2.

"Sometimes in the water, a girl can splash some water onto her own pussy or someone else's. Like to try?" Zelda offered.

I'm probably gonna take a backseat to this...bizarre kink of hers.

Peach smiled happily then splashed some water to Zelda's clit. "Oh yes." Peach said. Samus and Peach enjoyed their little sport: splashing Zelda's little pussy with pool water. After some more splashes, Zelda squirted the water in Samus's face.

The 2 girls joined Zelda on the edge by climbing it. "That was funny." Samus told the Hylian princess.

"We could do it, even at the outdoor pool." Peach cheered.

Zelda kept her legs spread as she sat "So then. How often does Mario make love to you?"

Peach thought for a moment then said "Preferably after a big event in which he sometimes saves me or gains my confidence."

Well, he IS Italian. Of course sex would be a paramount part of life.

Somebody thwack me with a phonebook for that.

Peach returned Zelda's question "When do you have sex with Link?"

Zelda stared at the blonde's breasts for a tick then said "On a good night."

Considering your timeline is screwed up, I don't blame him.

Samus stood up "Well after I send a report on a mission successful, I sometimes fuck myself to keep myself in good shape."

Don't lie. R.O.B has been a good help to you when that got old.

Peach crawled to Samus, gripped her butt and rubbed the huntress's clit with her head. "Out of all you girls here with me, you Sammy, have big breasts, a cute vagina and a cute ass."

Why does this fic refer to her as a "huntress"? Makes sense, but what's wrong with the term "Bounty Hunter"? What? Does that sound too morally ambiguous?

Samus smiled "Hey girls. Maybe we can try the outdoor pool before bedtime."

Zelda put her hands on her breasts then said "Yes, but shouldn't we try not to get caught by the cops? Because they watch the world everyday, even naked women in public."

That better have not been a jab at the police force. They put their backs into their work. I mean, corruption exists, but still.

Before Peach could reply, the pool's intercom suddenly came on. It's Bright's voice.

"Are Peach, Zelda and Samus in there?" Bright's voice said.

Peach said to the intercom "Yeah, we're having naked girl fun in here."

Well, that "blonde bimbo" stereotype doesn't seem far-off.

Bright said "Very funny Peach. Anyway meet me in the lobby of the Smash Mansion."

Zelda had a worried look, "Something serious?"

Bright paused then told them "Unfortunately so." Could Mario be in danger? Peach thought. "If your naked, get clothes on and come to the lobby." Bright disconnected.

The girls got their clothes on and head to the lobby where Bright is waiting.

"Hey Bright. How was Mario?" Peach asked the Earth Federation officer.

Bright gave a shrug then said "I'm afraid I didn't make it back with the plumber in time, or any of the other smashers."

Well, you seem awfully flippant about the whole thing.

Peach was shocked "What..."

then Zelda "the..."

then Samus "hell?"

So much for that joke. Fell right on its face. And now, for a pointless "Next episode" sort of thing.

Mario is kidnapped and so are other smashers. What girls will Col. Hargrove bring to the mansion? Be here for the next chapter.

And then it goes on to list the current characters. It's as tedious as it sounds.

That was just the START of it all. This is gonna be painful, isn't it?

See you soon.


The mistakes I see in this this work are to be pointed out so they may not be repeated.
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Post #2

Shillin' Best Girl from Fire Emblem: Echoes

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post Mar 3 2017, 03:09 AM
General Scales, Shadow the Hedgehog, Ashnard, Blood Falcon, King Boo, Seth, Geese Howard, Liquid Snake, Revolver Ocelot, Eugeal, Mimet, Telulu, Byruit, Rubeus, Nacien, Valtome, Khaled Al-Asad, Zant, Vladimir Makarov, Victor Zakhaev, Cervantes de Leon, Astaroth, Samurai Goroh, Darkrai, Ridley, Spandam, Rob Lucci, Kaku, Jyabura, Kalifa, Dozle Zabi, Garma Zabi, Itachi Uchiha, Kisame Hoshigaki, Porky Minch, Cell, Billy Kane, Pigma Dengar, Leon Powalski, Panther Caroso, Michelo Chariot and Kyoji Kasshu.

What the fuck am I looking at here?! We've got villains from Star Fox Adventures, Sonic the Hedgehog, Call of Duty, Mother, Legend of Zelda, and many more. And they're working alongside some Tabuu rip-off, and the goddamn Third Reich! What kind of drugs was the author taking when they were writing this dreck?! Because I would like some of what they're smoking--Wait, Nacien? Please don't tell me...

"Nacien, handsome and beautiful member of the Bern Dragon Generals." Nacien bowed.

That illiterate buffoon of an author! How dare he sully the glorious name of General Narcien, by having him in this catastrophe of a story. The onlt saving grace was that they didn't throw Zephiel into this mess, otherwise heads are going to roll.

The males in the room began to think of his daughter and they quietly excused themselves to the bedroom.

Would it be wrong of me to ship Ivy with Narcien? Because that thought's going to be what saves my mind from collapsing in on itself.

Overall, this fic looks a lot like something SovietRussiaMan would write, minus the Project AFTER bashing. I shall be having much fun keeping an eye on this mock!

List of mocks can be found here: Here

QUOTE (AnItalianGuy @ May 27 2016, 02:03 AM) *
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
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Post #3


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post Mar 3 2017, 01:14 PM
I can't help but think that even the author was too damned bored to write about the Smash Brothers canon in WW3 and writing long-ass lists, as much as we are when we read them, and decided to give himself an undeserved fapping session. No seriously, I just imagine the author typing that god awful pool scene with one hand on the keyboard, and the other on his sausage!

My content can be found here.

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Post #4

I have risen...

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post Mar 3 2017, 08:39 PM
To GorillaGamer...

I wholeheartedly agree. This is gonna be on fragging mess of a fanfic if this is going the way I think it is. As for Narcien getting together with Ivy, I'll admit. That sounds like a fun pairing. A narcisistic dragon tamer and a deadly female warrior with a fragging snake-blade-whip. Still, if that's the case, let the dragon have some fun too. He might have a few ideas. Plus Dragon-on-Woman is hot.

Also, to VGtree054, yeah. I agree. At one point, I tried writing FIMfiction porn (the less said about that, the better), it was so hard to concetrate due to being horny as Hell. That gave me at least some perspective into the mind of an author who just wanted to write about people screwing.

Anyway, away we go.

Pink= Myself

White= This fanfic

"We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender." Winston Churchill

Why would you drag him into this? Just...why?

Chapter 2: Task Force is Born

Let me guess. The author couldn't come up with a better name as he pounded his junk raw?

If a girl is doing this fanfic, then it was when she was fingering herself raw.

I'm moving on.

Bright had come back from his successful drug take down but he was the only survivor of the battle.

Nothing about that was successful. Multiple grand indivisuals from various gaming universes, primarily Nintendo, have been kidnapped by Ms. Mountain Dew. Yeah, I'm calling her that from now on.

"Yes indeed girls. I didn't save Mario." Bright disappointingly told the girls.

Oh, yeah. What about the OTHER bunch of characters that you failed to save? Is this gonna be a praise-fest for Mario? I just got down with Beast Emo's scrap, for Master Hand's sake.

"What happened?" Peach tried not to cry.

Bright explained the tragedy "We were on a mission on the outskirts of the Mushroom Kingdom. We took out a drug deal going on. I checked a door but then an ambush was signaled. I fought with a lot of might and I was the only survivor of that battle with the Germans."

Okay, I GUESS it makes sense that this drug operation was taking place in the Mushroom Kingdom. I mean, the shroom industry there might as well be booming.

"NOOOOOO!" Peach and Zelda cried over the loss of Mario and Link then burst into tears. Samus sank her head in sadness.

Great. We reduced them down to school-girls. Samus and Peach could be excused, if you're generous, but Zelda? She's had to deal with losing the memories of hanging out with Link in one timeline. This is nothing.

"It will be alright gals." Bright told the saddened Mushroom Kingdom princess.

Peach sniffed then said "How? What do you mean Bright?"

"Fucking NAZIS are invading my kingdom, for crying out loud!"

Bright closed his eyes and said "Girls. I thought I had every confidence Mario would get the job done, we got in there but I came back. But now, I phoned Col. Hargrove about an all-girl task force. Men will be in H.Q. While the girls are in the field. If we work together, we can save the male smashers, and maybe the free world." This speech got the girls better.

Oh...how many ways can I say this makes no sense?

First off, the grammar. It needs editing.

Secondly, you keep mentioning that Mario was your essential player, but you keep glossing over the fact that you were ALSO backed up by several powerful smashers who have loved ones that miss them dearly. Do they just not matter compared to Nintendo's main flagship character?

Thirdly, why an all-female task-force? Unless there's a detail about Noa and Hargrove having a fetish for such, there is no other reason that other males from the Nintendo universe and beyond can't join. I mean, characters from Dragonball are appearing in this fic! Why not grab Goku to help things out?!

Oh, wait. I forgot. Fetish-fic.

The princesses smiled and so did Samus. "We'll start it all here in this mansion?" Samus asked, Bright nodded.

Just then, Bright's cell phone went off and he answered it. "Hargrove?"

The O.S.S. Colonel's voice said "Alright i'm in the Mansion's frontyard right now. The boys at O.S.R.D. helped me find some girls for our task force."

Bright, Peach, Zelda and Samus head outside and see Col. Hargrove with a group of women behind him.

Dear god, prepare for the cavalcade!

The female group is: Daisy, Rosalina, Midna, Ruto, Nabooru, Dixie Kong, Tiny Kong, Ayumi Tachibana, Krystal, Fara Phoenix, Katt Monroe, Palutena, Jody Summer, Kate Alan, Mrs. Arrow, Misty, Daisy, Violet, Lily, Cynthia, Phoebe, Flannery, May, Janine, Candice, Maylene, Lyra, Leaf, Dawn, Gardenia, Greta, Cheryl, Solana, Kate, Delia Ketchum, Caroline, Johanna, Lola, Chigusa, Lara Laramie, Minami, Whitney, Clair, Adeleine, Ribbon, Lyn, Micaiah, Mist, Titania, Elincia, Mia, Nephenee, Lethe, Lyre, Sanaki, Sigrun, Marcia, Laura, Lucia, Nailah, Heather, Meg, Jill, Sheeda, Palla, Catria, Est, Minerva, Norne, Athena, Midia, Elice, Lena, Florina, Farina, Fiora, Vaida, Farina, Karla, Rebecca, Louise, Nino, Lilina, Thany, Tate, Juno, Fir, Clarine, Sue, Miledy, Guinevere, Wendy, Dorothy, Cath, Lalam, Niime, Cecilia, Brunya, Petrine, Paula Polestar, Kumatora, Meryl Silverbergh, Olga Gurlukovich, Manon Batiste, Amy Rose, Rouge the Bat, Blaze the Cat, Chun-Li, Sakura Kasugano, Cammy White, Rose, Ibuki, Makoto, Mai Shiranui, Blue Mary, Li Xiangfei, Hotaru Futaba, Taki, Seong Mina, Chai Xianghua, Sophitia Alexandra, Cassandra Alexandra, Setsuka, Isabella 'Ivy' Valentine, Talim, Serena Tsukino, Amy, Mizuno, Raye Hino, Lita Kino, Mina Aino, Rini, Amara Ten'ou, Michelle Kaioh, Trista Meioh, Hotaru Tomoe, Cynder, Ember, Bianca, Sheila, Frau Bow, Sayla Mass, Mirai Yashima, Christina Mackenzie, Emma Sheen, Fa Yuiry, Leina Ashta, Roux Louka, Elpeo Puru, Elle Vianno, Kayra Su, Chan Agi, Rain Mikamura, Allenby Beardsley, Nami, Nico Robin, Nefertari Vivi, Videl, Android 18, Pan, Sakura Haruno, Ino Yamanaka, Temari, Tenten, Hinata Hyuga, Hanabi Hyuga, Granny Chiyo, Tsunade, Shizune, Anko Mitarashi, Kurenai Yuhi, Sun Shang Xiang, Diao Chan, Zhen Ji, Da Qiao, Xiao Qiao, Yue Ying, Xing Cai, Oichi, Ginchiyo Tachibana, Ina, Kai, Nene, Kunoichi, Gracia and Aya.


Okay, okay. I'll continue. Jesus Christ. Even when I'm adding characters by the bucket-load, at least I try to spread things out and try NOT to create walls of text.

"Hmm. What a fine bunch of people Hargrove." Bright admired.

Nephenee turned to Petrine and they growled at each other like they were going to kill each other. "Hey." Bright said to them.

"Why the hell would i wanna work with her?" Nephenee pointed to Petrine.

To be fair, from what I can get, Petrine's kind of a hardass. So, yeah. This alliance is going to be rocky.

Petrine asked "Wouldn't that stain my name to work with her?"

Bright told everyone "We know that the Crimeans hated Petrine in the past and the ones from Lycia hated Brunya. I know that Taki hates working with Ivy, but we're going to need help on this."

So, canon traits are KEPT HERE?! What madness is this?!

Hargrove addressed "By the way, Petrine, Brunya and Ivy are very dangerous so if they try to escape, don't hesitate to take any of them down."

I don't know about that. Brunya, from my research, isn't that bad of a woman. Misguided, yes, but determined.

Wendy rubbed the back of her head next to Krystal "Must be a pain to not be with Bors more often now."

Krystal said in her British accent that was as British as Hargrove's "This must be why Hargrove there called me."

Yes, we get it. They're British. You don't need to add unnecessary details.

The O.S.S. colonel walked to Krystal and said "You gotten to know me on the way to the mansion. Good. Worried about Fox while he was in the last Smash Bros. tournament?"

"I mean, he was spamming that damn laser attack like mad. Of course things were going to get ugly."

Krystal nodded.

Then Bright said "Try not to fear for him or get in tears, but your boyfriend Fox was taken by the Germans as a trophy."

Krystal was shocked and said "What? You mean captured?" Bright nodded.

Mist was confused and asked Hargrove "What's the plans for tonight? Maybe a game of cards?"

Sorry, who are you? Because that's just stupid. Unless that's your quirk or something.

Hargrove told her "No cards or toys. There will be a meeting at dinner tonight."

Bright addressed "Hargrove explained to you all there will be a meeting at dinner tonight. Hooah?" The girls nodded.

What kind of word is Hooah? Does that mean something or was that just yet another spelling error?

"Enjoy some free time before the dinner starts tomorrow night." Bright Noa announced. The girls cheered. This would be a glorious day indeed

Oh, yes. Glorious, despite the fact that, for some of you, the people you love have been taken hostage by a whole cabal of the most terrifying villains this author could think of. In fact, I'm just gonna call the army of villains The Cabal of Infinite Losers or COIL for short.

Next day in Fox's room in the Smash Mansion.

Krystal is getting her stuff unpacked, even her trusty staff from Cerinia passed down from her father. Fara and Katt and agreed with the vixen to keep her company in her room as roommates and friends.

Oh, yeah. Remember them? They were those two other pilots from Star Fox that fell into obscurity. Not that the fanart has stopped coming out.

Thank the artist Yawg for helping me get acquainted with them.

Just then some scratches are heard. The door opens revealing Cynder and Ember.

Anyone else think it was a copout to have Cynder be transformed into something that looks like Spyro (before they turned him into a punchline)? Her evil form was better.

"Hi uh... Krystal." Cynder greeted.

Krystal smiled to the purple dragoness "And a pleasant good afternoon to you too."

"Say we were in conflict over Spyro for his love." Ember said.

Could you first imagine a scenario where his main attraction wasn't all that toy bullscrap?

Cynder held a front leg up "And Fox and Panther were fighting over who would love you."

Katt held a photo of Falco to Ember "At the spa Hargrove picked me up from, i asked him about Falco. He said he was taken hostage."

Fara sighed as she on the bunk that was Falco's until he was captured. She was in her bra and panties. "Well, i was in love with Fox first. He cherished me and i would make love to him and i would make treats for him." then the fennec jumped down from the bunk to join her blue Cerinian vixen friend.

I'll admit. Being turned into a third wheel by Nintendo can be a bitch.

"Wonder if you could ladies could fill for our lovers right now?" Cynder asked Krystal.

Suddenly, more lesbians! To bring back Yawg into the picture, I wish he was here. At least the artwork was good.

"As long as you dragonesses fill for Fox and Falco."

The Cynder and Ember watched as Krystal slipped off her flight suit, leaving her nude. Katt toke off her flight getup and the pink feline was naked. Fara undid her bra then panties. After the ladies were nude, Krystal sat on her knees.

Well, here we go. Furry porn. To think I once enjoyed it until I read this.

"Come over and feel me like my Foxy does." Krystal gestured Cynder. The purple dragoness walked over and put her front feet onto each of the vixen's breasts. Krystal moaned softly as if feeling fresh air.

Wait, so the draogns are non-anthro in this? I can live with that, but quite a few people might equate it to getting boned by an iguana, if you're unlucky.

"Mmmm. So good. Feel it." Krystal smiled.

Cynder massage her hands up and down the cerulean fox's breasts. Cynder felt happy at the fact her hands were even on Krystal's nipples. then Cynder began to speed up. This caused Krystal to moan louder. But not too loud for Bright to hear. The two met their mouths with one another. Cynder felt as if playing tonsil hockey with Krystal. Katt and Fara smile even Ember at the site of this. The 2 released eventually for air and Cynder let Krystal's breasts go.

Tonsil hockey....what does that even mean?!

"Very sweet." Katt said happily at the site of this romance.

"Nice lovers." Fara said.

You want a better Krystal alternative romance? I've got one. I warn you. This one's NSFW.

But plenty more excusable than this piece of trash.

Krystal got up enough to wipe dust off her legs. "That was smooth. I think i'll take a bath." The vixen head to Fox's bathroom. Inside, she turned on the hot and cold water on the tub then checked for bubbles. Cynder and Ember joined the vixen in the bathroom.

Of course they did. Because their sexual appetites have been tuned up to 11.

Since Krystal was naked already, she got in then helped Cynder and Ember in. The tub was big enough for 3 people. Cynder found a bottle that puts bubbles in a bath. The dragoness applied the water with the bubbles to make the 3 more comfortable.

The water soon evaporated because what else could happen when you combine 2 dragons in heat into a bathtub.

"I can't believe. Bathing with good friends, in a tub with bubbles." Ember said with a smile.

Krystal thought up then said "Just as fun as doing it with Fox."

Cynder put some bubbles in her hand and rubbed them around her front. "Sometimes, me and Spyro use bubbles for art in the tub."

Krystal uses some bubbles to make the Star Fox logo. "Pretty neat." Krystal admired.

It was especially neat without the vomit-inducing controls her series had been subjected to by the Wii-U.

The girls enjoyed their bathing, doing some "bubble art". Just as Krystal could finish a bubble made of Fox, they were interrupted by the intercom.

"Attention all girls in the mansion. Meet me and Bright in the cafeteria of the mansion for dinner and a meeting." It was Hargrove's voice.


Somebody had to do it.

Krystal got out as Cynder and Ember followed. The vixen wiggled herself around to get the water off. She then used a blow drier to make her fur normal. The 3 came out and saw Katt and Fara discussing their business on Fox's bottom bunk.

What? Not gonna have THEM start making out like people in a hard-R drive-in? Quite some restraint.

"It's our que ladies. Let's get dressed guys." Krystal said as she picked up her flight suit.

The Lylat women got dressed then the 5 head out.

In the Smash Mansion. The girls enjoyed the food Bright and Hargrove made. What's best is they even hired army cooks for the mansion's kitchen.

I'm pretty sure some of the girls here are exeptional cooks, but I'll let this go.

Peach, Rosalina and Daisy shared their table with Zelda, Nabooru, Midna and Ruto. Serena and her friends as usually had their table. Then Bright picked up a microphone "Alright stand up." the ladies did. "Pray for the Smashers safety." the girls put their hands together after some seconds, they sit back down.

I'm...not sure if some of these girls of of that particular religion, but okay.

"Okay Hargrove." Bright gave the microphone to Hargrove and there was a tape near him.

"Ladies. What you people are about to hear, was received by Master Hand this very morning." Hargrove put the tape in the tape player next to him then played it.

Emerald's sinister voice was heard, "My dear Master Hand. Last night 36 smashers including Mario and Link, are now in the possession of the Army of the New Order."

Nah, I'm still calling them COIL.

Unless within the next 16 days, you Master Hand and your government pays to us 1 billion smash coins, the smashers will die by having their trophies broke and the world would hold you responsible. Please understand the acceptance of our terms by arranging for Big Ben to strike in London 8 times at 12:00 p.m. tomorrow." then Hargrove shuts the player off.

....That's it...1 billion smash coins....and, from the looks of it, everyone on your team of villains agreed to the terms...

Bright got the microphone and said "Let's get the introductions away. My name is Bright Noa, leader of the White Base and lieutenant of the Earth Federation. In my time as captain i commanded amateur teens and kids. One of them was Amuro Ray who piloted the Gundam."

"Also, I'll try to keep my hands to myself this time. No promises. So, protects your cheeks as you go along with this mission."

It was Master hand's turn "Good evening people. I'm Master hand. I and Crazy Hand built the smash mansion for tournament purposes. I was the one who found the first 12 smashers, Mario, Link, Donkey Kong, Yoshi, Fox, Samus, Pikachu, Captain Falcon, Luigi, Ness and Jigglypuff."

"And then they tried to murder me without realizing I'm basically God. So, yeah. Those days were rough."

Then it was Hargrove's turn "Evening ladies we gathered. I'm Col. Hargrove from the Office of Strategic Services the O.S.S.. FDR formed our branch as a counter to Hitler's S.S. for covert operations behind enemy lines. Espionage, Sabotage, Infiltration, you name it, we do it." then continued "Now i understand how you feel about the kidnapped smashers. The boys at O.S.R.D. searched this morning to find them but couldn't make heads or tails of them. So that's why, me and Bright are forming an all-girl task force to counter this evil. The ladies go to the field of battle, men stay in H.Q. giving orders."

Still doesn't explain why you can't just find BOTH men and women to help you.

Bright was handed the microphone "In every way of how the smash Bros. did in their adventures, it gives me great pleasure to name this task force... Super Smash Sisters." the girls cheered at Bright's speech. With the speech done, the girls continued the dinner until it was time to head back to their quarters.

Oh. They actually gave it the name on the title. You know, Super Smash Bros. wasn't really a game predominantly occupied by "bros", you know.

In Peach and Mario's quarters, Princesses Peach, Daisy and Rosalina decide to share Mario's bed since he is in captivity. The girls stripped off their clothes and got in bed.

Of course they did. Are any of you even surprised at this point? We're only 2 chapters in, people.

"This will be exciting, we ladies are going to save the world, this will be great!" Daisy smiled as she was excited.

Rosalina laid her head on one of Mario's pillows then said "Alright guys. Let's get some rest. Bright said we have a day of training tomorrow."

With the bunch of kids you basically look after, I'm surprised you even need to sleep.

Peach turned so her breasts were shown to the girls. "Night girls. We'll make good lovers like i was with Mario."

The girls went to sleep. This would be a busy day tomorrow.

And thus a new task for alliance is born. What training will Peach and others receive tomorrow? Be here next time.

Unfortunately, I'll have to be there, due to this mock. I have brought this upon myself, after all.

See you soon.


The mistakes I see in this this work are to be pointed out so they may not be repeated.
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Post #5

Shillin' Best Girl from Fire Emblem: Echoes

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post Mar 4 2017, 12:29 AM
The female group is: Daisy, Rosalina, Midna, Ruto, Nabooru, Dixie Kong, Tiny Kong, Ayumi Tachibana, Krystal, Fara Phoenix, Katt Monroe, Palutena, Jody Summer, Kate Alan, Mrs. Arrow, Misty, Daisy, Violet, Lily, Cynthia, Phoebe, Flannery, May, Janine, Candice, Maylene, Lyra, Leaf, Dawn, Gardenia, Greta, Cheryl, Solana, Kate, Delia Ketchum, Caroline, Johanna, Lola, Chigusa, Lara Laramie, Minami, Whitney, Clair, Adeleine, Ribbon, Lyn, Micaiah, Mist, Titania, Elincia, Mia, Nephenee, Lethe, Lyre, Sanaki, Sigrun, Marcia, Laura, Lucia, Nailah, Heather, Meg, Jill, Sheeda, Palla, Catria, Est, Minerva, Norne, Athena, Midia, Elice, Lena, Florina, Farina, Fiora, Vaida, Farina, Karla, Rebecca, Louise, Nino, Lilina, Thany, Tate, Juno, Fir, Clarine, Sue, Miledy, Guinevere, Wendy, Dorothy, Cath, Lalam, Niime, Cecilia, Brunya, Petrine, Paula Polestar, Kumatora, Meryl Silverbergh, Olga Gurlukovich, Manon Batiste, Amy Rose, Rouge the Bat, Blaze the Cat, Chun-Li, Sakura Kasugano, Cammy White, Rose, Ibuki, Makoto, Mai Shiranui, Blue Mary, Li Xiangfei, Hotaru Futaba, Taki, Seong Mina, Chai Xianghua, Sophitia Alexandra, Cassandra Alexandra, Setsuka, Isabella 'Ivy' Valentine, Talim, Serena Tsukino, Amy, Mizuno, Raye Hino, Lita Kino, Mina Aino, Rini, Amara Ten'ou, Michelle Kaioh, Trista Meioh, Hotaru Tomoe, Cynder, Ember, Bianca, Sheila, Frau Bow, Sayla Mass, Mirai Yashima, Christina Mackenzie, Emma Sheen, Fa Yuiry, Leina Ashta, Roux Louka, Elpeo Puru, Elle Vianno, Kayra Su, Chan Agi, Rain Mikamura, Allenby Beardsley, Nami, Nico Robin, Nefertari Vivi, Videl, Android 18, Pan, Sakura Haruno, Ino Yamanaka, Temari, Tenten, Hinata Hyuga, Hanabi Hyuga, Granny Chiyo, Tsunade, Shizune, Anko Mitarashi, Kurenai Yuhi, Sun Shang Xiang, Diao Chan, Zhen Ji, Da Qiao, Xiao Qiao, Yue Ying, Xing Cai, Oichi, Ginchiyo Tachibana, Ina, Kai, Nene, Kunoichi, Gracia and Aya.

Jesus Christ! Talk about the harem to end all harems. And like the villain list, it makes no fucking sense. From what I can recognise from a quick glance, we've got characters from Pokemon, Sonic, Fire Emblem, Pokemon Conquest, Dragonball Z, Soul Caliber, Sailor Moon, Street Fighter, Nami from One Piece...and those are all the franchises I could recognize. Wait...let me read that list again...

Florina, Farina, Fiora, Vaida, Farina, Karla, Rebecca, Louise, Nino,

Oh mother fucker! Nino's in this fic?! It's like the comparisons with SovietRussiaMan keep piling up. And I just noticed that alongside Nino, happens to be Florina, Clarine and Est; all characters I believe to be under the legal age. I swear to fuck if either of those four get into a lemon, I don't know what's going to happen.

I don't know about that. Brunya, from my research, isn't that bad of a woman. Misguided, yes, but determined.

I'll admit that it's been a while since I last played Binding Blade, but I see no wrong with your comment. What I can find wrong, is why Brunya would even fight Narcien in the first place, considering that they're both on the same side. Something else that I don't get is why several females from Blazing Sword are fighting a Binding Blade villain, when most of the characters present in Blazing Sword end up dying in the twenty year gap between the games.

Christ, two chapters in, and already I'm losing my mind.

Unless within the next 16 days, you Master Hand and your government pays to us 1 billion smash coins,

That's it.

That's all your super-powered Nazi/Communist/Terrorist Alliance wants. A billion dollars.

Meh, Dr. Evil did it way better than these posers could. I have no problem with referring to the villains as COIL, but please remember that a good percentage of them were genuinely threatening villains, ruined by the authors uncontrollable libido.

List of mocks can be found here: Here

QUOTE (AnItalianGuy @ May 27 2016, 02:03 AM) *
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
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Post #6


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post Mar 4 2017, 06:15 AM
You wannaí know what this story is reminding me of so far?

Thereís this game that some dude has apparently been working on for years called Peachís Untold Tale, AKA Mario is Missing.exe.

Hereís the skinny:

Itís a pornographic Mario game. In the game, instead of having Princess Peach being kidnapped, youíre now trying to save Mario. *cough* Super Princess Peach. Knowing how often this happens in the Mario canon regardless if itís Peach, Mario, or a group of fairies, this should be a piece of cake. However, in the process of kidnapping Mario, Kamek creates a spell which makes everyone and everything horny. Donít Ask! You play as Princess Peach who starts out completely nude, and apparently her asscheeks donít touch! On her quest to save Mario, she has to avoid losing her virginity, which is the highlight of the game, and the enemies and bosses of the game donít even hurt you, they just have an orgy with you. In fact, the only things that actually killed me during the 10 minutes Iíve played this monstrosity were the pits, the Potoboos in the first castle stage, and the fire rods.

I honestly wouldnít be too surprised if this were the premise of this entire story, except the Smash Girls lose their dignity all at once and not just Peach, and each sex scene will probably be a list of all of the sex acts these bints are going to do before the sex scene actually starts. Not to mention the sex will just come out of no where and wonít lead us to anywhere just like it did here.

Seriously, the author of this crapfic needs to get laid, because apparently he faps at least twice a day.

My content can be found here.

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Post #7

I have risen...

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post Mar 4 2017, 01:52 PM
First off, I cannot believe I'm in one piece after I basically celebrated the pairing of Krystal and a larger than usual Utahraptor (with a NSFW pic to boot). Seriously. Krystal X Utah 4 life! I can see that relationship working out, despite a few trials and tribulations.

And yes, VGtree054. I remember that flash game. I played it and really, I wasn't impressed. They could have used better animation and, more importantly, MORE FACIAL EXPRESSIONS. Seriously, I felt like I wasn't in the Mushroom Kingdom as I was in the fragging Mill of the Stone Women. Then again, that same creator of that game did have a flash game with interesting customization, but even THAT was marred by barely any facial expressions.

Also, I agree. If the author REALLY wants to get his rocks off, he might as well commission artwork with a paypal account to other artists and/or just head over to e621. Not infect the internet with this piece of literary slag.

Anyway, off we go into the lustful pink yonder.

Pink= Myself

White= This fanfic

"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend." U.S. Army Training Notice

I'll admit. That quote is rather amusing. Out of context here, that is.

Chapter 3: Training Day and First Mission

Who's willing to be they'll assign them to some mudane task like gathering cookies at a bake-sale?

As Ginchiyo lay next to Kai and Kunoichi in her bed, she thought about her husband Muneshige. How they argued with each other and how they fought as allies. Just then Bright opened the door to her bed room.

You know, from my research, Muneshige and Ginchiyo, despite their differences, work as a great battle couple. So, this bears repeating. Why can't we also invite foreign males into this team? It's called combining the best of both worlds, author.

"Alright off the bed and on your feet." Bright kicked the bed.

Kai was startled awake and said "It's 5:10 in the morning you said 7:00."

"I lied." Bright told them. "Get some clothes on, and meet me and the other ladies me and Hargrove are training in the grounds."

The Smash Mansion has officially become military boot camp. How about that?

Bright then left as the girls got dressed.

Outside the mansion in the training grounds.

Bright has the women facing him and a marine at the shooting range.

I'd say this team is going to face the trouble of being whiter then white bread, but at least the MASSIVE amount of characters allows for diversity. That's one saving grace here, I suppose.

"Sayla." Bright called to Sayla who walked to him.

"You do know how to handle a gun. Right?" Bright asked and Sayla nodded. Bright hands her a Walther P38.

You know, with all these Gundam characters being thrown in, I should at least expect an awesome robot battle. Cell would probably get a kick out of flying through every robot's chest like a speeding bullet.

He then turns and announces the women "Welcome to Pull the Trigger 101. The best gun practice place on the planet. Here Sayla is going to teach you ladies how to handle a gun right."

I'm pretty sure most of the other people here know how to handle one, but...hold on a minute. Some of these females don't even know what a gun is due to the planet they're from their respective universes. You'd think culture shock would come into effect.

Bright turns his head, pops some targets near Sayla's station "Sayla. Show them how it's done."

Sayla aims carefully and shoots the targets from her sights.

"Good." Bright turns "You want the targets down normally. Aim down the sight."

Oh, so this is like "Break the Targets", only every character is destined to become Fox. Or Zero Suit Samus.

Sayla smiled and said "Now i'm gonna show you lot how to fire from the hip. Bright if you will..." Bright popped 3 targets. Sayla got into a kneeling position with her gun out and shoots the targets.

"Good one." Bright said to Sayla then addressed to the other women "Now i'll block the target and Sayla will show how bullets will go through some defenses. He pops 4 targets with the remote and blocks them with a sheet of ply wood.

I can't help but feel like we're going through a tutorial from an FPS or two that this author appeals to. Could be just my imagination.

Sayla senses the targets behind the wood and shoots them all down. "I see, still brilliant as the Red Comet." Bright admired.

The Earth Federation officer takes out some grenades and Taki asks "Are those ninja bombs like I use?"

The marine with Bright shakes his head and says "They're grenades. The marine throws them, not the pin so the target blows to pieces." Bright pops 9 targets and the marine hands a grenade to Sayla.

I'm pretty Taki could handle them with as much grace as she does with her bombs. She's a ninja after all.

Also, since I can probably tell she's going to be necking with Ivy for the sake of fans-service, I'm gonna get it out of the way and ship her with Lizardman. Yeah. I'm like that.

"See how many targets you can down for everyone to see." the marine said with a chuckle.

Sayla takes the pin out, throws the grenade to the 6th target. The grenade goes off 4 seconds later and blows the targets up.

"Excellent Sayla!" Bright smiled.

Sayla returned his smile "I may surpass Amuro yet."

Bright says to the women "Train like I did Sayla and then you people can have breakfast." as the women got to their lines for training, Bright walked to Peach.

So, basically, if these characters can't operate a gun when they can ALREADY do much more (some of them even have ki blasts and magic up their disposal), they don't get food. You're making this more complicated then it needs to be.

"After the station training, you and Zelda meet me at the course." Bright explained to the princess.

Peach giggled "Okay."

Many girls did a lot of training, such as piloting mobile suits, driving vehicles and calling in artillery strikes on dummy targets. They even trained for undercover missions even for disguises.

The author could not describe this event in detail because even he knows that the mass of characters is too much for even him.

Also, the irony is not lost upon me of Android 18 piloting a robot suit.

After their training, Peach and Zelda head to the course where Bright is waiting near a box of weapons.

"So did you enjoy it?"

"Yep. I sure did." Peach said.

Zelda had a hand behind her back "I sorta panicked at first but then I handled the gun fine."

You know, nobody forced Mario, Sonic, or any of the other smashers to hold a gun when they went on their mission. Why should the woman with control over an array of magic be saddled with an obligatory firearm?

Bright smirked then showed some guns to the princesses. "Peach you use the M4A1 Carbine." Bright gave the M4A1 to Peach "and Zelda, you use the MP5." Bright handed to MP5 to Zelda.

"This is pretty new to my life." Zelda said.

"Aside from all those idiots trying to incorporate Modern Warfare into my timeline. Like this one."

Bright nodded "Alright, go to the start. The current record is 95 seconds. I'll start the timer when the first are is entered."

The girls head to the first area and up pop 2 cardboard primids and a cardboard OpFor. "First area up. Go Go Go!" Bright's voice over the intercom said. The girls fired at the targets. Then head to the second area with a cardboard German, a cardboard Zeon officer and a cardboard civilian. The 2 took careful timing not to shoot the civilian and hit the targets. They go inside the building set up and shoot the cardboard Primids.

Boring as this is, I would REALLY appreciate it if you would stop referring to your Nazi enemies as Germans. They are a disgrace to their homeland and I would rather face off against a Nexu then associate the entire country of Germany with the Third Reich.

An open door is seen as Bright's voice in the intercom says "Flashbang though the door!" Peach does and the explosion pops up a cardboard pirate and a bandit. "Hit the targets!" Peach does so with the bandit while Zelda does the pirate. The 2 go up the staircase and a cardboard koopa blocks them. "Hit him with a melee attack." Bright's voice orders and Zelda kicks the cardboard.

Wait. Hold on. Pirates are also among the enemies? Aside from Emerald's tape, how does Bright know that One Piece villains are going up against them?

On the roof, 5 cardboards pop up, 2 Ultranationalists, 1 triad thug, 1 sharp boomerang bad guy and a cardboard of a scared old man. Peach and Zelda hit the bad guy targets being careful not to hit the old man. "Area clear. Jump down." Bright's intercom voice said.

You know, I'm actually for women in the army. Michael Bay must be either foaming in the mouth at that prospect or simply not caring. Seriously. The guy's coasting through his film career so much, he's willing to quit after the The Last Knight.

The 2 jump down and 12 cardboards are up for them as Bright says "Last area. Go!" Peach hits 2 German cardboards. Zelda does in a mad bull cardboard, Peach nearly hits a cardboard of 2 school children but shoots a cardboard Zeon. The 2 take down the last few OpFor targets while trying not to hit a little boy cardboard. "Run for the exit! Clock's ticking!" Bright ordered then the princesses ran for the exit.

After exiting the course, Bright clapped softly. "Well done, you have passed with flying colors."

The only color I'll soon be seeing in later chapters is red.

The princesses cheered.

"Okay girls. You can go and have breakfast in the cafeteria."

The princesses head off for breakfast and rest.

What? No sex scene? Huh. Guess this author knows when to quit sometimes.

Hours later...

Bright called Peach, Zelda, Samus, Krystal, Lyn, Chun-Li, Jody and Sakura Kasugano to a briefing room. He popped a map and it showed icons of trucks pinned down.

Ah. The Street Fighter characters show up. Surprised Cammy isn't helping them, given her military expertise.

On a side note, I might be able to excuse her getting together with Chun-Li in this fic. I actually kinda support that couple.

"Alright load 'em up with the marines outside." Bright told.

"I'll brief you on the situation as you head off."

Outside, Peach and her comrades found some jeeps waiting with .50 cal machine guns on top. Some had some rangers and some left them open for the girls.

"Bright. This is convoy lead. We're moving out." a marine radioed Bright.

As the jeeps move along, Bright radios "Girls listen up. A relief convoy bound for a village has broken down and is taking fire."

"Thing is, though, I think they were driven off by some weirdo living there. Wonder who he was..."

"Roger that. Any idea who we fight against?" Krystal told Bright.

Bright sighed then radioed "Negative. The convoy trucks get their tires and engines shot out almost daily. Whenever the trucks stop to repair, the food and medical supplies are stolen. You are authorized to fire at armed enemy forces."

"Understood Bright." Peach disconnected the line.

As the team head through the valley, they could hear gun fire from Middle Eastern bandits.

Just call them bandits. We don't need to drag the Middle East down with us. Not with the monkey we call a president around.

Hindsight is a bitch, sometimes.

"We got hostiles ahead!" the convoy lead said.

"Let's take 'em out boys!" a marine said then the teams started firing at the bad guys.

Krystal sees a group coming form the left, "More hostiles!"

An RPG user fires a rocket "RPG!" Samus shouted then ducked the rocket. She then shot the bad guy.

"Huh. No power-ups fell from his corpse. Shoot."

"Thanks, that one had my name on him!" Lyn said.

As the team reached the convoy, Jody said "There's the boys. Let's stay with the 50s for now."

Was that a take-that to the "Stay in the Kitchen" policy that was a mainstay in that decade? If it was, I'll let it slide. I hate that mentality, too.

"Just try and get the engines patched and hit it." Zelda told them.

Just then a technical appears carrying a bandit "Here comes a technical!" Sakura said then fire as many shots as she could blowing the truck to pieces.

You know, she's effectively a child-soldier here. She's in her teenage years, for pete's sake!

A group of more bandits with guns appear from the west. "Keep the bad guys away from the perimeter!" a marine said. The teams starts firing at the bandits. After more are shot, Peach radios for air support and a helicopter flies over and mows down the bad guys. "Whew. Now let's get this convoy moving." the supply leader said.

You know what they say. No kill like overkill.

Peach and her allies dismount and head to ambush the hideout. After taking out the bandits, Chun-Li radios "We need a chopper now."

A helicopter pilot said "Charlie 4, we have you, we're coming in." then a helicopter appears with miniguns and a Mk 19 inside. After the bird lands, the girls board and PEach and Zelda get on the miniguns while Sakura gets the mk 19. They then fly into the air and assist the convoy.

So, none of their abilities are going to be showcased? Also, who's willing to be Samus isn't even in her armor and has conformed to the Call of Duty way?

Along the road, a marine points "Enemy vehicle 9 o'clock." the marines shoot the vehicle with the 50 cals.

At a t-junction, Peach shouts "Technical 4 o'clock." then she kills the vehicle and the bad guy on it.

Unless you live in the reality the artist Ratbat created (a rather intriguing one, too), then I don't know how you "kill" a vehicle. Disable/destroy it, yes, but "kill"? Geez.

After minutes of clearing more baddies, the convoy and the helicopter reach the Arab village. The truck distribute food to the starving locals.

"Well, this is gonna be a big party for them." Peach smiled.

Krystal smiled "Yeah, i bet we'll party at the mansion tonight."

A male village gets a supply box and says "Bless you kind sir."

First of all, I think you mean "ma'am." Also, how are you not freaking out that your savior is a humanoid fox and a princess from a fairytale-esque land?

The helicopter flies off with the girls on board.

"This is Ark 4-3. We're coming home and returning to mansion. Over."

Convoy saved. What time can the girls get back? Be here next time.

Oh, I will. I'll admit. Aside from the many flaws I pointed out, at least there wasn't a lemon scene that made my dick flaccid.

See you soon.


The mistakes I see in this this work are to be pointed out so they may not be repeated.
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Post #8
N. Harmonik


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post Mar 4 2017, 02:33 PM
If any characters created by the two people in my signature get involved, I will end up making national headlines for very bad reasons.

Also, that Joseph Stalin quote; Nobody actually knows where it originated, apparently: https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Joseph_Stalin

Rest in peace, Brian Jacques and Jean-Yves Raimbaud!
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Post #9


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post Mar 4 2017, 03:51 PM
Shouldn't the author know that if he/she's going to make these bimbos out to be strong and independent people who are going to fight the Third Reich and ISIS, he/she shouldn't have established that all they do is cook, clean, and have kinky pool sex? It just blows my fucking mind that these girls go from your stereotypical 1950s housewives to fucking Rambo!

This post has been edited by VGtree054: Mar 4 2017, 03:52 PM

My content can be found here.

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Post #10

Shillin' Best Girl from Fire Emblem: Echoes

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post Mar 4 2017, 11:28 PM
QUOTE (MasterOfNintendo @ Mar 5 2017, 08:22 AM) *
Was that a take-that to the "Stay in the Kitchen" policy that was a mainstay in that decade? If it was, I'll let it slide. I hate that mentality, too.

Not to defend the author, but I think they were refering to the .50 caliber guns they were using before, as opposed to the 1950's

A male village gets a supply box and says "Bless you kind sir."

A male village?! Did the author just assume the village's gender? They really need to check their privilege, once they've done jerking it to their wish-fulfillment lesbian fic.

All joking aside, the author comes across as someone who wants to have their cake, and eat it as well. They're writing this female-only Smash Bros fic, to play the female-empowerment card, yet they also include copious amounts of sex, in order to gratify themselves. That said, I'm curious as to why they didn't Lucina in this fic.

List of mocks can be found here: Here

QUOTE (AnItalianGuy @ May 27 2016, 02:03 AM) *
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
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Post #11

I will mock all the fanfics in the TRI STATE AREA!!!

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post Mar 5 2017, 12:09 AM
This is not a fanfic, this is just wanking and name dropping. Why even bother with mocking this I don't quite get. Sorry, but mocking porn is in my opinion often times just idiotic, as the amount of jokes you can make about sticking up someones butt are actually quite limited, if the work in question not also offers something else to make fun of.

Like... I don't know:

Sexscene with Krysta
Comment: Well, at least there is more character involvement of her than in Starfox Adventure

Also, word of advice MasterofNintendo:

Stop mentionining fanfics you, stop recommending furry porn of all things and for the love of god, stop spilling out you know "good" furry porn. You really are not helping yourself.

It ain`t no mystery, if it`s politics or history; the thing you gotta know is, everything is showbiz

Alles was entsteht, ist wert das es zugrunde geht.
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Shillin' Best Girl from Fire Emblem: Echoes

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post Mar 5 2017, 04:32 AM
QUOTE (Maniak @ Mar 5 2017, 06:39 PM) *
This is not a fanfic, this is just wanking and name dropping. Why even bother with mocking this I don't quite get. Sorry, but mocking porn is in my opinion often times just idiotic, as the amount of jokes you can make about sticking up someones butt are actually quite limited, if the work in question not also offers something else to make fun of.

Sorry, but I'm gonna disagree with you on this point. While you're right about how mocking smut fics isn't a wise decision, there's more to this fic than porn, such as the batshit insanity of having various villains from different franchises, working together to rule the world or something, I forgot what their goal is exactly.

Stop mentionining fanfics you, stop recommending furry porn of all things and for the love of god, stop spilling out you know "good" furry porn. You really are not helping yourself.

Sorry MasterOfNintendo, but I agree with Maniak on this one. Bringing up your fanfiction is only going to make you a target. Not trying to be mean here, I'm just looking out for you.

List of mocks can be found here: Here

QUOTE (AnItalianGuy @ May 27 2016, 02:03 AM) *
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
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Post #13

I will mock all the fanfics in the TRI STATE AREA!!!

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post Mar 5 2017, 05:52 AM
QUOTE (GorillaGamer @ Mar 5 2017, 01:32 PM) *
Sorry, but I'm gonna disagree with you on this point. While you're right about how mocking smut fics isn't a wise decision, there's more to this fic than porn, such as the batshit insanity of having various villains from different franchises, working together to rule the world or something, I forgot what their goal is exactly.

this is where I would like to argue it depends on how the entire package looks in that regard.
Look, I have seen enough badly done crossover fanfics that I would argue, what the author tries to do here is still not necessarily worth the time and energy to mcok it.
It deserves to be made fun of, certainly. But I would rather go for a snarky overall critic than a 45 chapter long mock. For a coupleof reasons:

1) 45 chapters is just insanely long. I am okay with mocking 20 chapter long stories or if there is something utterly insane to it, but 45 chapters and ongoing just sounds like to much of someones own waste of time.

2) as mentioned previously, another reaosn to mock it is if it is insane in its idea in some form. And throwing in over two dozen random franchises is not necessarily insane enough for me. It is a sign of bad storywriting, as obviously the author has no idea how to utilize the characters in distinct ways and just threw in everything he likes (and btw, I would say he has awful and generic taste) all at once. But other than that? I don't see anything. And frankly, I think MasterofNintendo's own stories have something to them that is more insane and worth to mock than this garbage so far. Although I laughed hard when I read about nazis invading the mushroom kingdom.

3) The "effort" put into the writing itself already annoys me.
I mean, the moment I see that the author just throws in all the names at once I knew, this guy is probably some kid with no idea of how to write a story to the point that 50 Shades probably looks better worded than this garbage. And sorry, but I think for a story to be mockable, it also needs at least some "merit" to it in the way it was writen.
At least Mykan's writing had somethign reminiscent of a little kid trying to sum up a dumb movie it saw, adding to how fucking infantile his writing was.

This is just some mentally retarted wankers little fantasy about porking a bunch of children show characters.

This post has been edited by Maniak: Mar 5 2017, 05:56 AM

It ain`t no mystery, if it`s politics or history; the thing you gotta know is, everything is showbiz

Alles was entsteht, ist wert das es zugrunde geht.
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Post #14

I have risen...

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post Mar 5 2017, 04:15 PM
Well, might as well deprecate myself and defend myself now.

First of all, yeah, I'll admit. All those days of tempting fate have caught up to me in terms of relating to media I think to be superior to this. But, c'mon. While I'll try to do less of that as this fic goes on, it just points out how sad it is that a random nobody on the internet who loves pink and endorses interspecies romantic erotica (me) manages to have better tastes then this fragging shambles.

Also, I know. Reviewing something that's 45 chapters long sounds like murder, but hey. I might as well be the guy to do it. In terms of craziness, I welcome the opportunity for someone to mock my work, but keep in mind. It's going through revisions in both art and text, so now's not the time.

Anywho, off we go!

Pink= Myself

White= This fanfic

"Anyone, who truly wants to go to war, has truly never been there before!" Larry Reeves

Behold! The possibly warmongering policies of Trump have been quashed!

Chapter 4: Law gets in, P.O.W.s, M.I.L.F. Night

Put them together and what do you get? Ineptitude!

London PD

A group of British police officers is seated with their captain with lights off and a projector on showing the tree of the A.O.T.N.O. (Army of the New Order) top members with Emerald on top and her best minions (even Victor Zakhaev) below.

Whatever. I'm still calling them COIL. It sounds catchier.

"Cops and Constables of London. I am Captain John Price of the S.A.S.. I was told by Baseplate to commandeer you people on a crusade of adventure." Captain Price announced.

An officer raises his hand "Sir. What are we up against?"

Bullslag, officer. You are up against pure, utter, absolute bullslag.

Price turned and said "Darien Shields, we are up against the Army of the New Order." Price had met Darien during a job trade program, and the captain began to like him. Darien was a temporary switch for Wallcroft who is currently traded for working at an arcade in Japan.

Where he religiously destroyed the pachinko machines Konami insultingly drudged out.

"Command has ordered an all out investigation on for the arrest of the members of this "army of darkness". He also said to give a reward for their capture of 500,000 pounds in hopes they will reveal the location of the kidnapped smashers before it's too late." Price explained.

Not so much an "Army of Darkness" as it is an "Army of Sheer Confusion."

An officer named Morrison said "You can bet on it sir."

Darien thought for a moment "Who would've thought my favorite smashers Mario, Sonic, Pikachu, Roy and others would be kidnapped? Is Rubeus still alive? It looks like Serenity didn't sense him in hell."

Another officer named Astrachan said "Sir. It looks like we'll have to turn the world upside down to find the bad guys before the deadline gets in."

Astrachan?! Who names...you just misspelled a Southern Russian city, didn't you?

Price smirked then turned to everyone in the room with him "Eagle. You do remember fighting in the Street Fighter tournament, do you?"

Eagle nodded. "I was to defeat Sagat for a royal family, after I lost I had to go back to bars but then you turned up sir."

Oh, look! An obscure Street Fighter character! At least this is inclusive. Still, kind of ironic that a British fighter took up the name Eagle.

Price issued "Burton, Terry, Stuart, Emery."

The officers stood and said "Yes sir!"

Price then told everyone else "Get your equipment together. Let's get on it!" and raised a fist up.

Canyon in a desert.

Oh, no. That's the beauty of it. This fic is so intense, that it can't even specify a location.

An A.O.T.N.O. Convoy is transporting goods and weapons to their masters. They didn't see a cavalry of samurai led by Katsuie Shibata and Toshiie Maeda from a side.

Oh, look. Characters from Samurai Warriors. Specifically, Nobunaga's most loyal general and a guy who overcompensates with his weapons. Wonder how this goes.

"Okay. We were on our way to get coffee and donuts from the Russians..." Katsuie told them cavalry.

That's it? THAT'S IT?! Coffee and donuts...WHATEVER! Moving on!

"But then we saw the Russians drank all the coffee and ate all the donuts. So now we gotta kick ass." Toshiie said with a grin.

Katsuie said to his men "Questions?"

"Uh, yeah. What are we doing here in this universe to begin with and how the FUCK do we get out?!"

Then Morimasa Sakuma (SW Generic Fierce Type) said "Sir. Can't we just go back and stick with the hot chow we have right now?"

Katsuie had his hands in a confused manner "Sakuma i'd find that funny if I wasn't" then changes his polite tone to angry "heating my ass off! Now get to it guys!"

Comedy: Something this author has a semblance of, but can never seem to express it correctly.

The Shibata forces charged for the convoy.

Below, an Ultranationalist was frightened as the Shibata forces charged while he alerted his men in Russian.

"Get out and stop 'em!" A Russian said.

They proceeded to fire at the cavalry. Shibata and Maeda jumped off their horses and started by attacking some Russians. Shibata had his axes while Toshiie had his spears and sword.


I apologize.

A Russian charged at Hideaki Tokuyama (SW Generic Strong Type) but the samurai swung his spear and splited him open. 2 Russian went for Katsumasa but he used his sword to take them out.

A frightened Russian captain had his hand out to Toshiie who had his sword in his right hand and his left spear in his left. "Please! We'll give you the truck!" The Russian reasoned.

I'd be panicking too if I saw one of my comrades bisected by an unfettered warrior.

"We just want the supplies for the rightful Oda successor." Toshiie said then sliced the captain's arms off then his head.

Negotiations 101 for the Nobunaga forces: Slice and dice all the time. At least, that's the impression I get.

An unarmed Russian charged at Katsuie then punched him, but to his horror, Katsuie had a muscular build and didn't field it. So Katsuie grabbed his head and drove him into the ground.

Turns out, all that time wrestling bears wasn't worth it for the Russians.

What? This fic is using slight stereotypes. Might as well join in.

After the battle, Katsue and his men gathered the supplies out of the trucks. Katsuie thought of Oichi while doing so. Morimasa looked ahead and he saw "Enemy armor ahead!"

Normally, I'd loot it. But, considering we're probably using military jargon here now, powerups are out of the question.

He saw some OpFors and Germans coming ahead with 2 Panzer IV tanks. Then from behind, Shogen Yamaji saw Primids appearing with some armed Zeon forces.

Al-Asad with the OpFors said in his megaphone "Attention Shibata forces. You are all surrounded and there is no hope of escape. Throw down your weapons now and you will treated with some charity and kindness."

"Also, if any of you assholes compares me with that goddamn skeleton infidel that Dunham trudges around, I will carve your skulls out of your heads with a spoon."

"This always happens here!" Keiji threw down his Susumasa pike then put his hands up.

Toshiie growled but Katsuie told him "Put 'em down my boy." as he put down his axes, Toshiie threw his weapons down. The 2 leading Shibata officers had their hands up and others did the same. Katsuie then said "We're not getting out of this one."

Probably should have kept up with the times here. The age of Samurai is, sadly, a waning one.

Smash Mansion

Yue Ying, Xing Cai and Ina watched the helicopter land and Peach, Zelda, Samus, Lyn, Krystal, Chun-Li, Sakura Kasugano and Jody come out.

Yue Ying asked Krystal as she walked up "So, how'd it go?"

Krystal gave a thumbs up "Like a million credits."

"Those trucks Bright mentioned were about a million bucks." Ina smiled.

A million bucks just for TRUCKS?! Must have bought a galactic empire's worth of them.

Peach smiled "Well, we ran into some bandits on the way, but it went fine.

A voice told her "Hey there Peach." Peach saw Amy Rose waving to her.

Oh. Hi, Amy. I'm really surprised she hasn't gone into full-on rabid mode without her Sonic. Progress or derailment? You make the call!

The princess and Sakura walked to her.

"Remember those Olympic games we went to Amy?" Peach asked the little pink hedgehog.

Amy put a hand on her chin for a moment then said "Oh yes! We played together as friends there."

Don't forget to mention how utterly pointless and...bizarre those games were. Why couldn't it have been just a battle royale to appease the fans?

"Still worried for Sonic?"

Amy painfully said "Yeah, but right now I have Blaze and Rouge."

And then you three are going to have furry lesbian sex. Seriously, I feel as if I'm becoming a psychic here.

Yue Ying said "Well that's a relief."

"Okay let's head in for dinner." Samus said.

The girls head to the cafeteria for dinner. Inside, they saw Johanna conversing with Caroline, Delia and Lola at their table.

"So then Dawn left me a note before she left on her journey saying she loved me with all her heart. That was way back." Johanna told the other mothers of the Pokemon protagonists.

Delia laughed then told her "You 2 must have been long away from each other."

Johanna concluded her tale "After her journey, Dawn came back to me and we swore this. Since I divorced my husband, I would make love to her more than I did with my husband."

Well, this just spiraled into awkwardness.

Lola giggled "Well right now, we moms are in service of Brightie and Hargrove right now. They needed us." she hoped Bright didn't hear her.

Trust me, you wouldn't want to go into hysterics near him if you land a relationship with him. His slapping skills are unmeasurable.

"How about we do something special in the Pokemon Trainer's room for which is Delia's right now. We're sharing it with her." Caroline said.

Lola took a bite of her pizza then said "Okay."

After their dinner. The mothers headed off.

Bar in England.

Even more non-specification? At least no real-world areas are going to be dragged down into the monstrosity.

Price, Darien and Eagle entered on a bunch of drunkards and the bartender. The music was London Calling by the Clash (Clash owns that song). Price had a photo of the kidnapped smashers in his hand. He approached a skinny man.

Can I just point out how much this author likes pointing out the fragging obvious in terms of Clash song quote?

"Do you know these men?" Price asked.

"Go fuck yourself old man." the drunkard said.

Price checked a happy couple "Have you seen them before?" he showed the picture.

The man in the couple said "Sorry, but we've seen them in matches on TV."

There you have it, folks! The only believable relationship in the entire fanfic.

It was Darien's turn to check. He checked the bartender "Uh... Do you have any leads on these 36 people?"

The bartender said "I'm afraid not sir."

"Although, Samus has been coming here lately. Something about how Nintendo was squandering her franchise later on."

"Thanks anyway." Darien said then reported to Price. "I wonder if any of these customer know a thing about the smashers."

Eagle pointed "Let's check that big guy there." he pointed to a man with a mohawk with a hole in it in his booth.

"Hey there." Price waved.

The man turned "Name's Birdie. What the fuck do you want?"

Another obscure Street Fighter character? How about that?

Obscure at the time, that is.

Price showed the picture "These are what the fuck we want." then he asked "Do you know a clue about Mario or any others in the picture?"

Birdie sipped his cold beer then said "I don't know a thing, now get on home."

Price gave a "Tsk tsk tsk." then prepared a fist "Don't make me beat it out of you."

Oh, yes. Threaten the hulking monster of a man with the killer chain. This won't backfire at all...

Birdie got and punched Price hard. This ignited a bar brawl.

And Price, no matter how much he talked about the fact that he can regenerate, had his head knocked off.

Seriously. That FPS cliche has to stop.

"Bloody hell!" Eagle shouted then used his sticks to knock out a brawler.

A big man held a young man up then slammed him into the bar counter.

And was promptly never mentioned again. Lost to the void that is this fanfic.

The bartender tried to stop the fighting but was punched by Birdie.

A man in just a vest and street punk pants punched a young man 3 times before he was knocked out with a swift kick by Darien.

A bearded man ran for Darien, but he spun and did a swift kick to the drunkards gut knocking him down.

Birdie picked up the jukebox and hit the couple that was going to punch him. He raised it above Price and was about to crush him when...

The jukebox began to play "Careless Whisper". Embarrassment was sure to follow.

A red rose shoots for one of Birdie's hands and hit grazes his right hand. Birdie dropped the jukebox with a loud crash sound. He then turned and saw a man in a white mask over his eyes and a black tuxedo.

(The Tuxedo Mask theme from Sailor Moon plays)

Oh, look! More reminders of Sailor Moon: Legend of Zelda! Somebody please flog me so I can forget!

"A bar is a place where normally people get themselves drunk, not for big fights. For that ruckus you caused, i Tuxedo Mask will knock you out." Tuxedo Mask announced.

Try telling that to the dozens of cliche-riddled films in history.

Birdie tried to do Bull Head on Tuxedo Mask but he extended his cane to great length and hit the big punk in the stomach causing Birdie to puke blood and fall down. As he got up, he saw Price aiming a gun at him.

"You got beaten by a cane of all things. Consider this a mercy kill."

"Alright. Do you know where the smashers were taken?" Price demanded as Tuxedo Mask de-transformed to the london police force clad Darien.

Congrats. Any angry bar patron with working memory knows your secret identity.

Birdie had his hands up "Okay. I think i even saw Luigi and Mario in Chinatown."

Price let Birdie go then went to a phone and phoned "This is Joseph's bar. I'm sorry but we'll all be closed down for..." pause then "4 months." then hung up.

Prompting an even bigger riot. Hey, a guy's got to have his alcohol.

Not me. Of course.

The Pokemon Trainer's room in the Smash Mansion.

Delia, Johanna, Caroline and Lola came back for something special. Johanna had gone to the Trainer's bathroom to use the toilet. On the trainer's wall, there was a poster of the Pokemon trainer with Squirtle, Ivysaur and Charizard in a fighting pose together. It read "Together, we stand united!" The 4 mothers share this room with May and Dawn but they were out playing kick ball.

You know what? Why didn't I see this coming? The aforementioned MILFs are from the Pokemon series. Next thing you know, they'll be adding Dexter's mom, Nicole Watterson, and whoever else into the roster.

The 3 mothers present undressed to just their panties and then Delia closed the curtains to keep out spying eyes (marines training outside).

Just then Johanna's voice said "Guys." Delia turned and saw Johanna not wearing anything.

"So good of you to come out to us." Caroline smiled.

Johanna puts her hands on her thighs and stares at the other moms. "Let's see those panties taken off..."

Caroline, Delia and Lola complied. "Now that we're naked, let's go into the bathroom." Caroline said.

A guy with his eyes sewed shut can see where this is going.

The moms went into the trainer's bathroom and Johanna locked the door.

Delia looked around and admired the room they were in. "Wow. This is almost like heaven."

Lola saw a shower stall large enough to hold 7 people in the far right corner. It even had 2 shower handles and shower heads for when the trainer and one of his pokemon decided to shower like gay men. "I bet the 6 of us who share this room could play around naked in there." Lola grinned at the stall.

Wait. Are you saying that the Pokemon trainer and his Pokemon share the stalls and possibly fornicated? I have nothing against being gay, but isn't that like preparing your anus for your oversized dog? Or in this case, dinosaur/dragon/turtle thing?

Caroline rubbed her head with one hand. "We could but since Dawn and May are out, it's just the 4 of us right now."

Johanna looked one drawer and saw some tooth paste and a tooth brush, "I think the trainer who had this room like brushing before a good fight." then saw some deodorant on the counter and a shaver. She looked into another drawer and saw shaving cream.

Thrill before the bathroom inspection scene!

"When did the trainer keep shaving stuff in here?" Delia asked.

Johanna turned and smiled "He seems to use them whenever he feels a beard growing on him. Bright told me that." The naked blue head put the shaving cream on the counter then she sat in the sink.

"I'm going to shave my pussy right now with this. So if anybody wants to sit and watch. Feel free." Johanna applied the cream to her little hairy pussy.

Okay, no. There's already too many tonal shifts here. We don't need the art of pussy shaving to be discussed right now. I'd rather keep my mind clean.

Delia sat on the counter to watch the front of Johanna, Caroline sat behind the blue head on another part of the counter, then Lola sat with Delia.

"Blue-head"? Well, I always did think "red-head" was too isolated.

Johanna put the razor in her right hand and said "Okay. Now watch." The former coordinator out the razor near her clit then started by moving it up along where the cream was applied. Johanna slowly shaved as to not cut herself. After some of her pubic hair is gone, Johanna giggled as Delia stared.

"You seem to like shaving your clit." Delia commented.

Caroline giggled "I prefer shaving with my daughter."

After Johanna took care of the last of her pubic hair, she said "There. Much better." she then climbed off the counter. She then helped the other moms down.

Good luck with the staph infection.

"How about we have a nice moment in the shower?" Delia said.

You know, you're not helping the fact that parts of the fandom refer to you as the town bicycle.

The moms walked to the trainer's shower stall and Delia opened the sliding door to it. She turned on one of the shower heads on hot water and the naked mothers got in to join Delia.

"Well unlike what we did in the past while our children were away, this isn't cleaning." Lola said.

Johanna smiled "Right. This is just for our naked girl fun." then giggled.

Delia patted one of her breasts. "I have been in the shower with Ash sometimes."

Could you STOP?

After getting wet enough, Lola decided to do Caroline, while Delia was with Johanna. Caroline got on top of Lola and decided to go 69. Johanna positioned herself on top of Delia. Lola was enjoying the thrill of eating out Caroline from the bottom. Her mouth was about as close as she wanted to Caroline's vagina.

Johanna ran her hands across Delia's tits as if playing with her daughter's. Johanna brought her head down and began to kiss the brown headed mother. Their tongues entered each others mouths and they played around. Like her husband was in the past, Delia's mouth was sweet against Johanna's. The blue head was loving the sight of herself fondling her friend's breasts like a masseuse doing her patient. As Delia neared her climax, Johanna began to rub faster.

Feeling hard yet? No? That means you still have a brain. Also, please, Johanna. No more incest stuff. PLEASE.

Lola and Caroline began to increase their pace of love as Delia and Johanna did.

Seconds later, the mothers climaxed. Their juices spitted out of their pussies and they were satisfied.

"Thank you Delia... So nice... Sexy..." Johanna said as she toke breathes. After their energy got back, Johanna stood up, puts hands on her legs, leaned forward and smiled. "Delia. You and me could do it outside if you'd like."

The hot water was so exciting for the women in the stall. Delia got herself as did Caroline and Lola. "Oh yeah. I like the idea, when Dawn and May get back, we can tell them the 6 of us women can be naked or clothed however we like."

Moments later, the whole place was in a panic because such freedom put into the hands of now nymphomaniac characters and they decided that clothes entirely of loose polyester was the next best thing. And then someone turned on the burner of the oven...

Caroline put her hands on her breasts and asked "If you nude lovers do it outside, can me and Lola watch?" Johanna and Delia nodded.

Lola shut off the water then got out to dry off. "Let's dry off first. I don't think the trainer would like his sheets wet." Lola suggested.

The 4 moms dried off then came out of the bathroom. Johanna sat on the bottom bunk of the trainer's bed. She spread her legs for Delia. "All yours tonight."

Delia crawled on all fours to her lover and began to lick at her love's flower.

Love's flower. Yeah. That's the pinnacle of the writing we're seeing here.

Johanna closes her eyes in amusement and holds Delia's head in place. "Mmmm. Yes. Delia."

Delia reached her hands up and began to fondle the naked blue head's breasts. Like is was in the shower, except, Delia was doing it. "Oh yes! I love it when you do that!"

Caroline watched with a smile on her face. "Those moms sure love fucking each other."

As Delia continued eating out Johanna, Johanna began to moan louder. "Play with it! Eee! Augh! Do it Delia!"

Delia's fingers were now gripping the blue haired's breasts as she was held in place. "Almost there! Make me cum! I wanna release on you!"

Release ME from this travesty, why don't you?

With Johanna's climax nearing, she yelled happily "DELIA!" then juices burst out onto Delia's beautiful face. Johanna gave soft breathes then cleaned off Delia'a face with her tongue.

"Oh i think there's gonna be a great family near us." Caroline said.

Lola looked up and said "Yeah, wife and wife is better than husband and wife."

Behold. The gateway to possible discourse within this thread. Thankfully, we're a civil bunch. I hope.

Caroline smiled at Johanna and Delia. "I never did minded showing off my naked body to my daughter."

Johanna and Delia stood and faced each other. "Dawn has been very lovely with Cynthia lately. So if i get Cynthia to move in with and marry me, if would be a good happy family of lesbians." Delia smirked and said "I'll find a girl myself, maybe older or younger since my husband left me." as the 2 nude mothers prepared to kiss, the intercom came on and they turned to it.

What do I even say to this?! I mean who talks like that?! Let's just move on!

"I'm sorry but what i heard, won't happen yet." Col. Hargrove over the intercom said.

Caroline confused put her arms under her breasts "What is it Hargrove?"

"I've got a big assignment fo you people. Gather some women and meet me in the briefing room." Hargrove shut the intercom off.

What clues will Captain Price find in Chinatown? Who will rescue Shibata and his allies? Find out next chapter for the answers!

Price...it's Chinatown.

Well, that was clumsily handled reference to a pretty dark film.

See you soon!


The mistakes I see in this this work are to be pointed out so they may not be repeated.
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Post #15
N. Harmonik


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post Mar 7 2017, 12:16 PM
This is confusing.

Rest in peace, Brian Jacques and Jean-Yves Raimbaud!
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Post #16

I have risen...

Group: Members
Posts: 284
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Member No.: 1,747
Gender: Male

post Mar 15 2017, 12:55 AM
From last we left off...utter confusion and lots of unrealistic sexual scenarios. Also, our band of buffoons is increasing, I'm not updating fast enough, and I'm called out by one of the higher-ups on this site for a TvTropes post I'm pretty sure was months old (long story).

What else is new? Oh, yeah. More of this fanfic.

Pink= Myself

White= This fanfic

"There are no atheists in foxholes, this isn't an argument against atheism, it's an argument against foxholes." James Morrow

Replace "foxhole" with "basement" and this will make so much more sense in context.

Chapter 5: Chinatown Skirmish, Motherly Jailbreakers

Really trying to hammer in that little harem idea of yours, aren't you? To your credit, an all-female one is a variation on this site considering the usual slag we have to deal with (usually with Ash Ketchum's doppelgangers).

Delia, Johanna, Lola and Caroline walked to the briefing room to meet Hargrove. They brought Krystal, Mist, Mia, Phoebe, May, Dawn, Mrs. Arrow, Olga, Talim, Xianghua, Kai, Ginchiyo and the Kunoichi with them.

Possibly after they had an orgy so powerful that the author just went blind at this exact moment.

After entering, Hargrove said "We must congratulate Peach and her friends on their first mission. She and you Krystal have gotten a great introduction to life under army service."

Wait a second. Wasn't Krystal ALREADY under a military service with Fox and company? Oh, wait. In this universe, Earth's military is the supreme one. Not the one with lasers, starships, and slag.

Krystal blushed "Well thanks Hargrove. I really liked the 50 cal."

Good luck with the future PTSD when one of your squad-mates is offed.

I sincerely apologize for the implications of that.

Hargrove chuckled "Caroline, Delia, Johanna, Lola. Your assignment is a dangerous one." Phoebe shut the lights off and Hargrove turned on his projector.

"No, you idiot! That's my gay porno tape I made when I was 19! Only FEMALES are allowed to go homo here!"

"We lost contact with Katsuie Shibata." Hargrove told them. The Pokemon mothers were shocked and the O.S.S. Colonel explained as he flipped to a picture of Shibata ambushing a convoy "We last heard of him raiding a Russian convoy in the desert. He and his men were taken to a place called", switches to a picture of a prison camp "Dulag 24."

Could have been worse. Present day Russia is chock-full of media censorship, a desire to go back to the "Soviet Union" days, and a dictator who won't put on a damn shirt for once.

"What's the game plan Colonel?" Olga asked.

Hargrove turned to a WWII picture of a Wehrmacht captain with an officer "The mothers will be going undercover each as a Wehrmacht Captain. Krystal, you and the others are following the mothers as Nazi soldiers."

Johanna giggled thinking of what it's like to be dressed as a Nazi. "Where are the uniforms needed?"


Hargrove gave a stare "In the women's locker room." he then flipped to a picture of Shibata arriving with Toshiie, Keiji and others in chains. "This is the only good photo we were able to get because of the sand storms."

Surprised that this author didn't just replace the sand with snow, considering Russia's reputation as a cold wasteland that did in Hitler's forces because they didn't know what a jacket was.

Mist put a hand on her head. "It's very clever you know? Me and Mia have never impersonated Nazis before."

Mia gave a grin. "We're gonna enjoy the uniform in disguise."

WHY?! This should NOT be enjoyable! Dressing up as a mass-murdering monster or just a really screwed individual roped into mass genocide or both?! I know it's practical here, but don't be a giggling moron over it!

Hargrove sighed. "Those men never allow themselves to give up what they know so please find them," switches to a picture of a cyanide pill in someones hands "before they are forced into taking drastic measures."

Phoebe patted her cloth "I would love to impress Cynthia while I;m dressed as a Nazi. Maybe me and her can practice. The papers the O.S.R.D. Boys toke are with our "new" uniforms. Right?" Hargrove nodded.

Before burying his hands into his head and sighing further, maybe even harder.

"There will be a troop truck waiting outside tonight. Slip into the camp and get Shibata, Maeda and others out of there. Dismissed." Hargrove concluded.

The girls headed to the locker room and they saw German uniforms with I.D. Papers on them. The women stripped to just their panties for they didn't need bras for their uniforms.

Of course not. Because that would be tasteful.

Johanna gripped her bare breasts for her daughter to see. "Ever since you left for your journey with Ash, do you like these?"

Dawn smiled and said "Yes mom! When I came back, we had our first night together in your bed."

Bullslag. Ash couldn't decide which girl he likes even if his life depended on it. I don't blame him. Not everyone's into a relationship.

Johanna hugged the little blue haired girl. "I'll tell you about it when we get back."

Krystal and Ginchiyo turned as they put on the stolen German army pants. "That incest sure is lovely for girls." Ginchiyo smiled.

Behold. An actual line written by an actual person.

"Yes Ginchiyo. I did show off my goods to Cynder and Ember." Krystal jiggled her breasts for even Kai and the Kunoichi.

The little girls were helped by Caroline and Lola for them to fit. Caroline cut some parts for May to slip in so she won't slip and cause alarms to go off.

Am I the only one unnerved by the fact that the daughters are referred to as "little girls"? If what I'm thinking is true, then this author just got stamped onto a federal watchlist.

Phoebe, Mia and Mist got their German uniforms on completely then Mia turned to Johanna. "On the way, you said you and Dawn would make fine lesbos."

Johanna giggled. "Yep. I would love to marry a girl and make it a nice happy family of lesbians."

Yes, yes. We get it. You want to have sex for the rest of your days and damn the world if it says otherwise. Move on with this!

Lola slipped her German captain uniform on all the way and said "How about you show us all what you showed in the Trainer's room and Dawn in the past before getting your uniform in."

Johanna winked and took off her panties. Now naked again as she was in the Pokemon Trainer's room, The other girls cheered.

Dawn was very happy to see her mother completely nude. "Wow. Just like before Hargrove showed his face at our house."

Johanna sat on her butt and bounced her breasts up and down. "Remember, i'll tell you our love story when we get back."

Dawn smiled. "I would love to hear it."

Never thought I'd say this, but just get in the damn Nazi outfits already.

Johanna smiled to the still topless Caroline and Delia "For now, we moms are a quartet of German war heroes. The Leidrick brothers. Karl, Hans, Erich and Manfred. Remember, weapons holstered until something goes wrong."

Are you...actually using names of deceased German soldiers for your espionage mission?

After all the girls were dressed in the uniforms, the women head out for the truck waiting outside.

Chinatown, London.

Price and Darien walked through the streets looking for Mario and the others. They walked through a Chinese parade and they were nearly hit by a model dragon. They walked till they reached a restaurant.

Dragons are already awesome on their own, but this model dragon tried to end the fanfic right here and now. Kudos.

"You think even Mario could be in here?" Price was confused.

Darien cocked his gun. "It's was Birdie said before we left the bar. This place is owned by the triads."

"Okay. Meet the boss, grab the smashers and get out." Price planned then the 2 head inside.

The 2 walked to a "please wait for someone to seat you" sign in chinese. A waitress came up to them.

"Hello. May I help you?" the waitress asked.

Price took off his hat then said "Table for 3, tell Boss Wei to bring the Smashers out here as well."

"Excuse me sir."

Darien smiled confused "You heard Price. Call Boss Wei and get him out to meet us."

Was that supposed to be a joke?

The waitress pulled an Uzi out and said "Sorry sirs. This restaurant is reservations only! Leave."

Whoa! Looks like years of not getting tips have sent this woman off the edge!

Price pulled an MP5 out. "How's this for a reservation?" the waitress screamed then ran off. A triad thug noticed Price, took out tonfas and yelled "Kill him!" then several triad thugs appeared.

(Song: ubawareta junsui na kokoru no kesshou from Sailor Moon S 2nd part)

Jackass, this is why people like myself use a little thing called "credits" at the end of fanfics so something like this doesn't kill off the pacing. Still, good song, though.

2 triads with clubs charged for Price in one hand each. The SAS captain ducked then went for the first doing 2 punches to the first thug then a rising uppercut, knocking the bad guy down. He then knocked the second thug out with a spinning kick to the face.

Suddenly, Price is a Street Fighter/Mortal Kombat/Tekken/whatever character. How about that?

"Look out Darien. They're bloody quick!" Price shouted.

Darien nearly closed his eyes to get good tracking. "Asian kung-fu is somewhat faster than normal fighting."

Also, pandas can master it in fiction. So, in a crazy universe like this one, you're screwed.

"Watch their pattern!" Price ordered.

A triad with talon claws on his hands spin dived for Darien. The young SAS substitute ducked and shot the thug up.

A bald thug with a Dao charged shouting "Get ready to die Mr. Action Hero!" Darien picked up a table and chucked it at the thug knocking him into a wall.

Not an inaccurate insult, considering he's using every cliche in the book as this fanfic slogs onward.

A Sai thug went for Price. He swung left with his right, then he did a spin swing with his left. He tried a double thrust but the captain caught his arms, broke them then slit the thug's throat with his knife.

"Those weapons from China are barbaric!" Price said to the tonfa thug.

Fun fact: The sai was originally a farming tool, though they were soon utilized for combat. Less barbaric and more practical.

The thug snarled then ordered his 2 thugs one with a meteor hammer and another with a chain whip "Don't stand there! Take them down!"

The chain whip bad guy jumped into the air and swung his whip around like a madman. He manages to give some scrapes to Darien but failed to hit Price. Darien caught the chain whip and spun the thug holding on around until Darien throws the whip sending the bad guy out the window.

The meteor hammer bad guy flung his heavy ball on the whip towards Price who jumped to avoid. The ball broke a fish tank dropping many koi from the water and they flip around. Price had his knife ready to plunge into the bad guy's eye. Price came down hard and drove his knife into the thug's right eye killing him.

Sorry that I wasn't paying attention to your fight. I was too busy mourning the death of the koi. I used to own a pond full of them. Right up until they either expired or a stork decided to come on over for a snack. Those were the days.

The tonfa thug ran for Price and Darien while swinging his tonfas around. He swung them to the right and left at the same time trying to hit the 2, but Price first spun and did a back hand attack to the thug's back of his head, while Darien elbow punched him in the gut causing the triad to puke blood. The 2 finish him with a roundhouse kick sending him through a wall.

Clapping is heard and Price looks to the source coming down the stairs. Boss Wei, old crime lord in Chinatown London.


"Bravo Captain Price. Bravo too Mr. Shields." Boss Wei smiled.

Price smirked then said "Okay. Birdie said for me and Darien to go to this place to get the smashers."

Darien had a confused look on his face "Anyway? I'm interested in even Link. Can I see the Smashers?"

Got something against the Hero of Time? Or are you one of those guys who freaked out when Jim Sterling didn't give Breath of the Wild a 10/10?

Seriously. It was a fair review.

Boss Wei looked around his restaurant and saw the beaten down thugs of his. "Try having a look around my restaurant. See if they are here."

Price checked the meat locker, no smashers. Darien looked in the kitchen and saw nothing but chefs who were scared.

Probably because their restaurant has turned into a fragging madhouse.

After checking the area, Price radioed "The building has been secured but we don't have the kidnapped smashers, over."

"See if you can get a lead on them Price." Command radioed back.

Price disconnected then went back to the crime boss. "Okay. Where are the smashers?"

Boss Wei gave a "Tsk tsk tsk." then he said "Try the place where metal birds meet. I cannot take you there. Enjoy getting there."

If you're talking about the Stymphalian Birds, then these heroes are toast. Bullets are nothing compared to THEIR feathers.

Darien started to walk out "Okay. I'll see if the airport's the likely location." then walked out the door "Bye." Price followed Darien saying "Thanks for the help old man." then walked out.

Well...that was something. Just gonna leave a crime boss to do his dirty deeds. Just...move along.

Dulag 24, sun going down in the desert.

The troop truck drove up to the Dulag gate.

"Can I see your papers please Mr. Hans Leidrick?" A German asked in German to a disguised Johanna who was driving. The coordinator showed her papers to the German.

"Sorry sir. You may go in." The german gave the go ahead and the truck headed inside. After stopping, Johanna, Delia, Caroline and Lola got out of the driver part of the truck. Their comrades got out the back in German uniforms.

"Kunoichi, you look like a clown in that outfit." Kai said with a look of disappointment.

Well, it is hard to imagine video game characters like the cast here goosestepping while screaming "Heil Hiter". Though, Donald Duck pulled it off. Not even kidding.

Kunoichi showed her papers "Good thing we're here. Cause we're nothing like Germans."

Try telling that to the modern-day Germans begging for Obama to restore balance.

Krystal turned her head to Delia "Who goes to rescue Shibata and who keeps the guards occupied?"

Delia explained "Okay. In our captain disguises, Johanna, Caroline, Lola and I will slip in and rescue Shibata and his officers."

Johanna grinned "You Dawn and the others make sure the guards don't notice us."

Caroline adjusted her hair then put her hat that was also stolen from a German on. "Don't afford mistakes now girls."

Delia, Johanna, Caroline and Lola walk for the building in the far left corner, where they suspect Shibata is inside. As they walked in, they saw 3 Germans playing Gold Fish. They walked up stairs and saw a german uniform and an MP40 lying there. They saw a guard near Katsuie's cell.

Maybe I'm missing something, but isn't it called "Go-Fish"?

"What unit are you from?" The german asked. Delia showed her papers but the German shaked his head "Sorry, but no entry till you have the right papers."

The mothers head to an Officer's quarter who has a new set of papers. The officer asks "Can I see your papers?" while failing to notice Caroline slip behind him with her hands together raised like a hammer.

Delia showed her papers and the officer tries to expose "Amerikanischer Spi-!" but Caroline knocked him out while Delia grabbed her new papers. Johanna, Caroline and Lola got their new papers too.

Silly Nazi! America isn't a region on the Pokemon world! You can't prove anything!

The head back to Katsuie's holding building and the German guard again asks "What unit are you from?"

Delia shows her papers and the German said "Your papers are in order." then walked off. Johanna waited for the German to leave then Lola opened Katsuie's cell.

The Shibata warrior turned and said "Thanks but who are you?"

Delia introduced "Erich Lei- Delia Ketchum. Mother of Ash, here to save you and your men." she then introduces Johanna, Lola and Caroline to Katsuie.

The Shibata warrior walked to the table and got the German's uniform on. He checked for his weapons but then said "My axes and the explosives I had were confiscated. They also have Toshiie, Keiji and others in the big prison building."

You know the irony of this? I think this is trying to emulate when the heroes of A New Hope put on Stormtrooper disguises to sneak into the Death Star. Now, these disguises belong to the REAL ones.

Johanna looked to the prisoner holding building and said "No stories?"

"It goes 4 floors down into the earth." Katsuie picked up the Mp40 and concealed it. He also got the officer's papers from the table.

Just like any other villainous lair! Always something theatrical at home.

The 5 walked out and walked along the Dulag as Krystal and the others kept the guards busy. After reaching the prisoner building, they head inside. Johanna saw a guard on duty behind his desk arguing with another German.

"I like what I was hearing, but what you said was inappropriate behavior. Come back tomorrow." the guard told him. The frustrated German walked off angry.

Caroline walked to the desk guard and asked pretending to be a guy in German "Where's the schedules for guard duty?" the guard pointed to his far left wall.

"Are you new to guard duty down here? I'll need identity." the German gestures his left hand. Caroline showed.

I'm also wondering how these women are able to pull off acting as not only Nazis, but also men. I'll be laughing 'till the break of dawn if it's revealed they were using the stock glasses-and-mustache disguise you see in joke shops.

"Hold on a second. I'll check." the German had a sign telling them to wait. He walked to his schedule for the prison guard duty and checked for Karl Leidrick (Caroline's fake name). He looked up and down but no name. "What's this? We didn't list you." the German was disappointed. "Oh yeah? List this!" then Delia shot the guard with a silenced pistol. She took the papers and kept one for herself and gave one set each to Johanna, Caroline and Lola.

Hooray. These women who spent their lives raising their brethren to be stable and good people have become cold-blooded killers. I know nobody is going to cry over a Nazi, but the implications are there.

They entered and saw a guard near the stairs to lower levels. The guard said "Sir. I need to see some papers."

Just as repetitive as the usual side-quest, this is.

Lola showed her papers and the German said "Okay. You can guard the prisoners." then the guard let Shibata and the others in while leaving

On the second lower floor, they could hear interrogation going on.

"Where are the others?" an Arabic accent said.

"Toshiie Maeda. Grand Cavalier of the Oda Army." Toshiie's voice said.

Johanna saw an OpFor interrogating Toshiie and Keiji. "You know Maeda. We like cutting hands off failures. Why don't the trouble and answer my questions? Where is Bright?" the Opfor interrogated.

They're about to use Prayer Warrior tactics! This is gonna get messy!

Don't know what that is? Consider yourself lucky.

Keiji began to laugh first quietly then loudly. "What the hell is so funny with you freak?" the OpFor said.

"It's about to get busy in here. If I was you, i'd get my ass out of here." Keiji threatened. Delia came up to and twisted the OpFor's head. The bad guy fell dead. Johanna cuts Toshiie free while Caroline freed Keiji.

The 2 Maedas stood up and got the blood flowing again before getting their weapons back. Shibata saw his axes unharmed.

"'Bout time! I was starting to think Katsuie, you were gonna forget me and leave me." Keiji gripped his weapon.

Katsuie smiled "That was my first thought, but I love Toshiie."

Good for you. Moving on.

Johanna saw some faces praying from their cell that were familiar. She recognized one as Zoey, Dawn's Pokemon rival, Holly, Brock's tag partner, Luna, a wealthy little girl, Nicolette, a Pokemon egg raiser and Lizabeth, descendant of the People of Water. Johanna freed the girls.

For Arceus' sake, don't assimilate them into your over-glorified lesbian cult.

Shibata and Caroline head to the 3rd level and it connected with the 4th level. It was a vast place of prison cells housing Shibata officers. There were 2 guards on patrol.

Katsuie worried said "Taking out one guard without alerting his buddy isn't easy. But then again, neither is sneaking past them."

A sediment shared by all stealth-mode players.

Caroline waited for the 3rd level guard to pass the stairs then shot him with her silenced pistol. On the 4th, the guard walked past the stairs but Katsuie snuck up and slammed his face into the ground leaving blood on the guard.

Delia pressed a button and opened all the cell doors freeing every Shibata officer there was even Ieyoshi Haigo.

"All right, let's slip out of here in an orderly fashion." Katsuie ordered his men.

Delia's group walked for the trucks as the Shibata officers snuck around the guards. After entering the truck garage, Dawn, May and the others joined them.

"We did good guys." Mist said with her hands in the air.

Who's Mist? Never heard of that obligatory Pokemon girl.

I know that was a bad joke, but just let me have this moment during this trite, okay?!

Phoebe giggled "I really sure tricked the guards this time."

Delia told everyone "Get in the trucks." Delia and Johanna got in one and the girls disguised as the German soldiers got in Delia's truck. Caroline and Lola decide to commandeer the truck that contained Shibata and his men.

Inside the officer's quarters where Johanna stole the papers, a German saw knocked out officer and the officer woke up.

The German guard radioed "Guys! We've got a bad situation here! Get me Garma!"

In the building where the guards playing Gold Fish are, Garma radios "Code red! Code red! Those Germans that came in tonight aren't Germans! They're girls! Stop them!" the trucks drove at full speed and even run over some Germans. The guards at the front shoot at the trucks but fail to notices the glass is bullet proof.

Hold up. About that quote from Garma. Are you saying there are no female German soldiers here? Let me guess. Men are the expendable gender once again? You do realize there were some women who joined the Nazi cause as well for reasons I never get, right?

The trucks make it safely through.

As the trucks drive away from the Dulag, Delia radios "Mansion tower this is Alpha 3. Heading home now, over and out."

What kind of love story will Johanna tell? How ticked will Garma be when he hears the failures report from the Dulag guards? Can Price rescue the Smashers from being taken out of the country? Find out next time!

Sadly, I must be there to listen to the whole shebang.

See you soon.


The mistakes I see in this this work are to be pointed out so they may not be repeated.
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Post #17

Shillin' Best Girl from Fire Emblem: Echoes

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post Mar 15 2017, 01:14 AM
QUOTE (MasterOfNintendo @ Mar 15 2017, 07:25 PM) *
Hargrove turned to a WWII picture of a Wehrmacht captain with an officer "The mothers will be going undercover each as a Wehrmacht Captain. Krystal, you and the others are following the mothers as Nazi soldiers."

It seems our author hasn't brushed up on his Nazi facts. Women during Nazi Germany were pressured to follow the Nazi's ideal of the perfect woman, by following the decree of Kinder, KŁche, Kirche, (Children, kitchen, church); the Nazi's also considered feminism to be some evil Jewish conspiracy. In other words, Hitler told German women to stay in the kitchen and pump out healthy Aryan babies, for his master plan.

Am I the only one unnerved by the fact that the daughters are referred to as "little girls"? If what I'm thinking is true, then this author just got stamped onto a federal watchlist.

Well when you consider that the author most likely wrote in Nino and Clarine to be horny lesbians...

Either way, it's good to see you again!

List of mocks can be found here: Here

QUOTE (AnItalianGuy @ May 27 2016, 02:03 AM) *
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
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Post #18

I have risen...

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post Mar 16 2017, 11:06 PM
Indeed, it's good to be back. Well, time for the rest of this...thing to be brought to light. And about that little thing about feminism. Yep. This author's got some history lessons to take. And this is coming from a guy learning about U.S history in college.

Pink= Myself

White= This fanfic

"If at first you don't succeed, call an air strike." Unknown.

Not bad advice, considering how much I suck at multiplayer FPSs.

Chapter 6: Flashback: Johanna and Dawn's First Time

I'm gonna need to develop a habit for booze because of this, aren't I?

Smash Mansion.

The trucks stolen from Dulag 24 arrived at the Mansion's front door. The girls and Shibata officers got out of their respective trucks.

"Arrow. We did good at overfeeding some guards." Krystal patted Mrs. Arrow.

Oh, dear God. First off, that makes no sense. Second, I really hope you're not trying to pander to the "obsese" fetish that people associate Deviantart with nowadays.

Mrs. Arrow chuckled "That's whats friends are for Krystal."

Oichi came out to see if Katsuie is alive and then she sees him. The 2 run to each other and they hug in happiness.

"Oh Oichi. When was the last time I ever let you down?" Katsuie was worried.

Oichi patted were big husband on his back "Some girls kept me from crying over you."

Um....I don't get it either.

Delia turned to Lizabeth and Phoebe who were conversing over everything that happened. "Lizabeth, how about you stick with Phoebe for the time being? I'm sure she'll keep you cozy."

Phoebe smiled "Oh yes. How about you tell me about while you were in Dulag 24 in my room?"

Lizabeth put a hand on one of Phoebe's breasts which was covered by her stolen German army uniform. "Thanks, good friend. I'll love being with you Phoebe."

The 2 dark skinned women walked into the mansion.

Like fragging clockwork.

Johanna walked to her daughter who was checking Tokuyama for injuries. "Okay. As promised, I can tell you of our first love, in our room."

Pokemon Trainer's room.

The Pokemon mothers, Dawn and May head in for some rest. They had just rescued Katsuie and his fellows from Dulag 24, now they needed some sleep. The women stripped down to nothing and got to different bunks. Delia, Dawn and Johanna on the bottom and Caroline, Lola and May on the top.

Gals, there are these things called bras and thongs. Basic PJs and bedrobes will even suffice!

After the women on top of them wished them good night, Delia, Johanna and Dawn sat upright on their bunk wanting a moment before going to bed.

Johanna gripped her breasts for her daughter. "Do you remember when you saw these for the first time?"

Sad to say, the only time I saw boobs is either on the internet or when I accidentally walked in on my mother getting out of the shower.

Unlike the weirdos here, I left quickly in good taste and wanted to take a pencil to my eyes.

Dawn shook no. "I would like to hear your story."

Delia gave her naked self a few pats on her vagina then said "I would like to hear it too. I can't let Dawn have all the glory of listening."

Johanna stretches her arms then she smiled. "It all started 2 days ago, just before we met Hargrove."


(Johanna's POV)

Strip Club in Sinnoh.

Of course. WHY THE HELL NOT?!

It all started in Sinnoh at this time. Me and a good friend Savannah who was mother of Sandra had danced for a strip club naked. We enjoyed each others moves we showed to a crowd of women and men present. The song we danced to was Got To Be Real by Cheryl Lynn (song owned by her). It was one of my favorite songs when i was young.

Credit where credit is due, that's a good song. Respect the classics. However, what I won't respect is the use of it in this damn fap-fic. Yeah. That's what I'm calling it now. Also, I got a bit of a chuckle in thinking she would say the "song owned by her" bit. Are you voicing for a commercial or something?

I learned some good dance moves in some ballet classes in the past.

Pretty sure the typical stripper dance is related to the pole. Must be a unique one.

During our romantic dance for the fans, i failed to notice Hargrove in his usual O.S.S. clothing go to up the DJ carrying a record. He told him to shut the song me and Savannah enjoyed off.

Is Hargrove just anywhere and anytime? Can he teleport?

The DJ complied then Hargrove picked up the microphone and said to me "Okay. How about you give those fans of yours one more performance then go home?"

I walked to the stage's microphone and while i did it, i could see the record had Japanese Hiragana, Katakana and Kanji all over it.

"Okay people, thank you for enjoying my special night me and Savannah turned you on with. But we have only time for one more song then i would go home." I announced. Then i said to the DJ "Alright. Put on that record the old man gave you."

Savannah smiled "What song could you suppose it is?"

Probably The Orphan's Wedding, given your track record.

I giggled then said to her as i groped her breasts "You'll hear as we dance." then the DJ put on the record as we got ready to dance. The song was now Love Survivor by Hit Boy (he owns the song).

Again, not a bad song, but here's the problem. Wrong context. It's supposed to be a battle song, you foolish author. Did you just look at the title and lyrics and just slap it one there?

We went over to the pole and then i got on my knees and jiggled my breasts before i gripped the pole with Savannah.

Machi wa toki wo ayatsuri-nagara

Hito no kororo wo madowasete yuku

Don't even bother singing along to this otherwise good song. It's ruined already.

Me and Savannah did some nice kicks and i twisted my body around while i squatted then got up again.

Iki wo hisome Need you!

I held the pole tight then i jerked to show my breasts to the crowd.

Juwaki-goshi no koe mo furuete iru

Savannah got on the ground and raises her left leg then turned to show her butt which she jiggled around before getting back up. Hargrove watched amused.

You dirty, very lonely, old man.

Yami wo mukete tobashita Desu Baree

Yume ni tsumazuku omae no moto e

I grabbed Savannah and i twirled her around a bit then i pressed my breasts against hers. We grinded our hips with each other to keep the crowd happy which we did.

Kasoku tsukete Love you!

I held the pole and did a flip while i held onto it.

Mashin hibiku biru no tanima

i grabbed Savannah by the waist and flipped her into the air. We then got on the ground and i mounted.

If only you poured as much effort into making sure your daughter was ready to take on the Legendaries themselves as you did into this fragfest.

Donna kiken okashite mo ore wa

Omae mamoru tate naru sa

I spread i arms out and i wiggled around getting my boobies moving while on Savannah's lap. I moved my head to the beat of the song with a smile on my face. While at his table with a soldier, Hargrove gave a good smirk. Me and Savannah up again to show some more.

Love Survivor Love Survivor

Kibou ni me wo mukete

Love Survivor Love Survivor

Chansu wo tsukamitore

Ai wa mune de hikaru puranetto

At this point, I hope I survive this damn fanfic!

Savannah held onto me by the waist as she gripped my butt. We twisted up and down some then i gripped her showing her back to me as i played with her breasts. I then climbed Savannah's shoulders to show my body to everyone in the club. I then jumped off and landed splitting myself with no problem or pain.

Gotta say. This is kinda of intense for a strip club. Guess they gotta be flashy and all that in even the non-safe for work areas of their world.

As we danced on, Hargrove turned to his lackey "Wilson." then back to me. The soldier Wilson was watching me as if wanting me. "Wilson!" Hargrove said to Wilson then he snapped out.


"Sorry Colonel."

Hargrove gave him a little device. "Put this in Ms. Johanna's car. We'll track her to house that way."

Wilson walked off with the device. Hargrove sighed and said "This woman would be a good addition to the Task Force." then sipped his coffee.

Based on...what, exactly? Because she's athletic? I'm sorry. I'm sure that's a good ability, but not only does this feel more and more like a draft, but it's kinda embarrassing when you're looking for highly experienced women IN THE MIDDLE OF A STRIP CLUB. Jesus Christ, somebody slap me and make this make sense to me.

Also, how does Johanna know they said these things? Is she still narrating? You'd think an editor would catch that. Oh, wait. I give this too much credit to have one.

Tooi kioku taguriyosereba

Itsuka yumemita aoi jikan e

I spun around back some spaces from the pole then i did a cartwheel back to it and then lifted my right leg without any damage to my ligaments. Savannah repeated my same movement to keep up with my naked performance.

Omoi Komete Miss you!

I grabbed the pole then put myself upside down gymnastically and wrapped my legs around.

Soshite hikaru asu no tobira

While upside down, a wiggled my tits to further impress the people. Then i got back down.

Ikiru koto wa tatakai ni nite 'ru

Senaka muketa toki ga make sa

I cupped my breasts then played with them while i wiggled my ass. Savannah did part of the Charleston then i put Savannah in my arms bridal style.

Love Survivor Love Survivor

Kodoku wo furiharae

Love Survivor Love Survivor

Hokori wo torimodose

Ai wa mune de hikaru puranetto

I lift Savannah up above my head and she moved legs in the shapes i liked. I then threw her up and she landed on her feet then lifted herself up slowly.

Love Survivor Love Survivor

Kibou ni me wo mukete

Love Survivor Love Survivor

Chansu wo tsukamitore

Ai wa mune de Hikaru puranetto

Savannah and i touched the ground and we splitted our legs to show our clits to the crowd behind us. We then did 2 back flips and then 2 forward flips. I then put my right hand on my right hip then my left index finger diagonally a bit. Savannah picked me up once again and put me on her shoulders. We then spun around with arms apart a bit. We then stopped out arms a near our breasts then all apart.

For the love of...it's a strip club! Not Cirque du Soleil!

Song end

We got a lot of cheers from the crowd. Everyone except Hargrove who had finished his dinner. Wilson came back as i walked to the stage microphone.

"Well guys, this was my best performance in my whole life. At first i was scared of being naked with another mom of another person, but then Lila inspired me to do so. This has been a wonderful night for me and my dance partner. So now i'll see you all later." I announced then walked away with the crowd cheering and Savannah following me.

Nice of you to share that. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a feeling I'll soon want to become a monk after this.

Hours later at me and Dawn's house.

I came home and went inside never seeing the tracking device in my car. I sat in the living room in just a nightrobe, watching Con Air (movie owned by Touchstone). After reaching the part where the main character is leaving jail with some other inmates, i toke off my robe and i was naked. I began to finger myself as i enjoyed the film. I was even moaning Dawn's name and how much i love her. Just before i could cum, Dawn came in. I didn't care.

Woman...I don't even know where to BEGIN with you.

"Mom... What are you doing naked?" Dawn was shocked.

As I am at this display. What kind of fetish was that?! Aside from the incest one.

A foreshadowing fetish, perhaps? Considering her indoctrination into the task force?

I turned and smiled. "Well, i was watching a good movie so i decided to impress myself."

Deciding to take our living together to a new level, i patted the couch signaling for her to join me. Dawn sat down and i told her "There were these times when you spied on me as i played around with my body. I didn't mind myself being voyeured by you." i giggled.

On second thought, maybe Ash should seek greener pastures. Dawn is hot and all, but it's not worth this. Maybe Hilda. She hasn't been mentioned in this fanfic thus far and thus, there's leeway.

Dawn took off her hat. "I did very well working alongside Ash."

"Good girl. Now that's out of the way, take off your clothes." I suggested.

Dawn felt nervous but then she complied and stood up. I watched my daughter first remove her shirt revealing her little girl breasts. She didn't wear a bra. She then took off her shoes, then socks. She then slipped her panties and skirt off at the same time. Now that she was naked, Dawn climbed to my lap.

She smiled while staring at my pussy and breasts. "Okay. This is my first time doing this with you Dawn."

Dawn was confused and rubbed her head "Sure? Wasn't it wrong in the past?"

I shook my head "Not anymore. It's right now."

Dawn brought her body down then she started my sucking on my left nipple. Just like it was when she was a kid. I held her head tight as a moaned with pleasure. "That's a beautiful good girl." I said with a smile. After some more licks and a little kiss, Dawn left my left nipple and went to my already hard one. "Mmmm. You do it so good. I love when i feel a lady's mouth on my naked body. I don't care about being with my husband anymore. Now i can be a lesbian." I told my daughter. Dawn licked harder as i moved my legs around like a baby born in a hospital. "Whatever you do don't slow down now! That will break my heart!" Dawn now focused on my womanhood and really got me aroused as she was. As i told her, Dawn had gone faster. During the licking, i massaged my breasts with my own hands. About a few seconds later, i finally came. Juices bursted into Dawn's face. I rested for a moment then licked her face clean.



"Hope you enjoyed it." i patted Dawn.

Dawn smiled "Now we're very satisfied."

I gripped my little girl's breasts in my hands and i said "Unlike my husband who got mad at me, i won't be mad at you. You're my treasure."

Please STOP.

Dawn stretched herself and got up. "I did some training at the gym by the way. Can i go to bed now mom?"

I nodded and said "Only if you promise that you'll sleep with me on a night that's good."

"I promise."

After the movie was over, we got up and then we walked up the stairs to my room. As Dawn got under my covers, i shut the lights off then opened the curtains of my room so the moon can shine on my body while i sleep. Then i joined Dawn under but kept my breasts uncovered.

Somewhere in the Hall of Legendaries, Lunala is doing her best to shield her eyes from this display.

"This is the first time we sleep together." Dawn admired my pillows.

I laughed then said with a smile "Maybe i'll make you pancakes in the morning. We can eat naked and then we can go and have fun clothed tomorrow morning. Good?" Dawn nodded then went to sleep. I kiss my daughter then sleep claimed me. I would never want this nude embrace to end.

But it changed at 4 o'clock in the morning. Instead of just the moon shining, a light come on from outside pointed at my room. I opened the window and saw Hargrove with a megaphone in his hand and a truck with some soldiers near it.

"Actually, we're the guys who just put you on one HELL of a federal watchlist."

Hargrove put the megaphone near his mouth, "Is Johanna up there?"

I looked around and i moved my arms apart. "The one, only and beautiful."

Hargrove said "Nice. Can you get your daughter, get dressed and come down to the truck the both of you?"

I giggled then i told him with a finger up "Okay. We'll be down in about a minute or so." then left the window.

Why, yes. Obey the random stranger's word. It's not like he might kidnap you. Don't ask any questions at all.

Not only did this author turn her into a shameless incestuous pedophile stripper, but also an airhead. Sheesh.

-Flashback end-

"and that was the night that started my days as a lesbian." Johanna concluded her story.

As Delia went to sleep, Dawn laid her head on a pillow "Will you make pancakes in the cafeteria tomorrow?"

Johanna moved the covers so that they touched their stomachs then laid her head on her pillow. "Absolutely. Then i can bring them to our table with some friends to share."

Dawn smiled as did Johanna "Good night Mommy." then shut her eyes.

I SAID STOP! Son of a Deviljho, this is getting weird!

Johanna said to her daughter "Guten nacht Dawn. I'll see you in the morning." Now that everyone else was asleep, she said to herself as she looked up with her hands on her head "That was some nice German you taught me there Bright." then closed her eyes.

That was a beautiful story Johanna had told. Stick around next time.

Author, you have so many issues that I don't even know where to start. I'll just...excuse myself. I have a long shower to look forward to.

See you soon.


The mistakes I see in this this work are to be pointed out so they may not be repeated.
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Post #19


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post Mar 17 2017, 02:23 AM
After reading that acrobatics scene in chapter 6:

This post has been edited by VGtree054: Mar 17 2017, 02:28 AM

My content can be found here.

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Post #20

I have risen...

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post Mar 25 2017, 11:51 PM
If you thought the acrobatics scene from before was implausible, then...well, let's just keep going.

Pink= Myself

White= This fap-fic

"Cost of a single Mil Mi-8 helicopter: $5-8 million"

Cost of reading this fanfic: My patience.

Chapter 7: Failure not an Option, Early Takeoff, Riot in a Turkish Prison, Love in the Morning

Stop! You're giving me too many options!

Fort Schmerzen, Germany.

In the past in 1944, Lt. Jimmy Patterson destroyed Fort Schmerzen for it was producing mustard gas to kill allied soldiers. Now, the A.O.T.N.O. restored the fort back to full operation and were using it as their hideout.

Only to learn far too late there was still some of that accursed gas in there. Many were killed.

Emerald's Throne Room

3 Dulag 24 guards were on all fours reporting to Emerald. With her were Garma, Dozle, Cervantes and Valtome.

"What did you report to Garma again?" Valtome had a hand near his chin.

One of the Dulag guards said "Garma, some women snuck into the Dulag, and nabbed Shibata out of there along with some others."

"Really, it made zero sense."

"Don't you suppose Zelgius was leading them? Uwee hee hee!"

Another Dulag guard shook no. "4 women were leading the false Germans inside!"

Garma crushed his glass of water and turned. "You didn't kill Shibata when he escaped. So why didn't any of you idiots die in combat?"

The Dulag guards stood and the 3rd who hadn't spoken yet said "When the Americans escaped, I decided to bring these men with me to report all this and-" before he could finish, 3 OpFors grabbed them by the shoulders.

Cervantes walked to the guards with Acheron and Nirvana ready to kill them. "Nein! Forgive us! Please! Don't do it sir!" one of the scared guards reasoned but Cervantes didn't listen and had his swords folded ready to kill them.

If it isn't the egomaniac pirate. I take it you'll flip when you figure out that Ivy's prime bait for becoming another stock lesbian.

"You men who failed the mistress..." Cervantes paused then "Die!" he quickly spread his arms while cutting the throats of the Dulag guards. The guards were dropped dead.

Killing mooks? I could see that coming. Working for this bitch? Unless she's promising a boat-load of souls, not so much.

"Uwee hee hee! Oh yes! The thrill of watching failures suffer is amazing! Zelgius said I was mad! Who's mad now? Uwee hee hee hee hee!" Valtome said hysterically.

Just then Garma's radio went off. "Yes?"

Streets of London.

Don't drag that music into this.

Traffic is getting bad for Captain Price. There were not just arguing pedestrians but also loud honking horns.

Count your blessings. At least it isn't New York.

"Gaz, can't you and Soap force the traffic to go faster?" Price radioed.

Gaz's voice said "Negative sir. But you can run on foot if it'll make you feel better."

Get ready to get mugged, then.

Price decided to contact Astrachan "Astrachan, what's your status?"

Astrachan's voice said "At the terminal sir. I'm watching the runways right now." Price disconnected.

Darien got out "Okay, let's jog to the airport then."

Eagle followed "I could use exercise."

Considering stamina meters are alien to them, they should have no trouble at all!

Price and Darien decide to go on foot running many red lights as they can. They run until they reach the airport where Soap Mactavish and Gaz are waiting. The British cops are with them as well.

"We decided to have the terminal police check every hangar for the smashers." Soap told his old captain.

"Did you find a vehicle inside the airport? I could use one to make the search go faster." Price asked Terry.

Consider it done! Whatever finishes this plot thread quicker!

Terry checked his radar then said "I saw a vehicle that takes people to their planes. They first search then if clean let you on."

Price, Darien, Soap, Gaz and Eagle ran for the little tram that takes people to their planes. Soap checked "No key?" he grabbed a hot-wiring device from his pocket and put it in the key holder.

Price noticed "What ever your going to do Soap, do it fast!" Soap successfully hot-wired the tram and got the wheel for he is driving. "Grab a seat guys. Let's see what she can do."

Seconds later, the tram would be found tangled in the London Bridge.

In a hangar.

Garma, Dozle and Cervantes observed the loading of the Smashers trophies onto the freight plane with eagle eyes. A Russian nearly dropped R.O.B. and said "Chyort! This robot is heavy." Garma helped him and threw the trophied robot into the cargo hold.

He also accounted for the huge piles of intimidate photos of R.O.B and Samus. Very RECENT photos, I might add.

Before Dozle could get a trophy, he saw something in the distance. "Hand me some binoculars." Dozle ordered a German who complied. Dozle adjusted the view of the binoculars and saw Soap driving a tram trying to look for the hangar he is in.

"Damn that guy. He gave me some nerves while I was in prison." Dozle growled.

You wanna know what else is a bit insulting? DOZLE, of all people, is going through with this! Doesn't he feel utterly bitter that he's been resurrected for such a purpose after his awesome death scene? He probably cries himself to bed thinking of how much his family has prospered and he can never be a part of it...

But hey! Dumb fanfic ahead!

Garma hand signaled 2 OpFors who dropped Ike (trophy form) and Kirby (also trophy) respectively. "You won't be needing those trophies. Stop that tram before it arrives." Garma ordered.

Outside Soap drove around the runway trying to find the hangar, when he saw a technical come out of a hangar. Soap could see hangar 5 with the plane that would take off if they did not hurry.

The technical gunner shot at the 5 men who ducked.

(Song: Henshin! Sailor Moon, Daimon Battle part)

More good music wasted away here. Jesus Christ.

Darien briefly popped to shoot the driver but the gunner made it hard. Soap decided a drift to avoid. The gunner ordered to turn and stop them in Arabic.

And stop pointing out their languages every time! I'm doing my best not to scream the word "racist" at the top of my lungs.

"No matter what we throw, that gunner makes it hard to concentrate!" Darien knew it would be the end. "Wait I have a better idea," Gaz had a plan. "Soap, when I give the signal, I want you to turn right."

Soap waited for the OpFors to come then Gaz shouted "Now Soap!" the SAS lad turned and Gaz first shot the gunner then the driver causing the technical to blow up. Then Hangar 5's doors open and the enemy's getaway plane was slowly getting to the runway.

"We can't let them in the air, stop them Soap!" Price ordered. MacTavish stepped on it.

In the plane, the pilots (both Russian) saw Soap coming towards them.

Garma said to one of the pilots "Try to get close then above them."

The Russian said "Just hang on to your-" before he could finish, Cervantes had a better plan. "Go straight and crush them like flies then get us up." the pilot worried increased the speed.

"Also, this be the weirdest boat I've ever been on! I should be used to this, by now."

Soap had a chance, "Anybody got grenades?" the men showed them to Soap. The young SAS captain had some grenades too.

The 5 pulled the pins dropped them near the driver seat as soon as the plane was near them. They all dived out as the plane hit's the tram and a spectacular explosion is seen.

Price walked to the explosion site and observed to try to find Mario but he and the others were gone!

Once again, Mario is Missing! Somebody flog me for that reference.

"Are they all vaporized?" Price knew they would be dead with Garma.

A voice said "Not yet they're not!" Cervantes jumped out of the destroyed cockpit to confront Price. "At least until the deadline."

"Is that young man and that big man dead?" Gaz said checking for survivors in the cockpit with a near closed eye.

"Garma and Dozle are safe. I also transported even Donkey Kong off magically before the plane crashed." Cervantes told them. "What you merely killed was the pilots."

"It's magic! We don't have to explain anything! Though, I kinda did...JUST FIGHT ME ALREADY!"

Price and Soap aimed guns then fired. Nothing happened. "Where is Mario?"

Cervantes laughed evilly then taunted "You'll never get anywhere or anything out of me and all I know is..." then throws a ninja bomb down "THIS!" then vanished.

"Guys. Did he kill himself?" Darien wondered.

Better he did so he wouldn't have the indignity of starring in this tripe.

"If you want to kill me, you can meet me and the Zabi brothers at Fort Schmerzen in Germany." Cervantes's voice told Price and the others then laughed evilly.

Bursa Prison, Turkey.

4 inmates are walked to lunch. The guards were not happy in the Bursa facility.

Why Bursa of all places? Couldn't think of any specifics? Or is everything foreign a cacophony of pain and misery to you?

Ilker Ceylan, 19 years old, caught his wife in bed with another man, killed him and his family. Sentenced to death.

Kenan Hakad, 25 years old, burned everyone in a Turkish board meeting alive. Sentenced to 8 years.

Yaser Tural, , incited 8 riots and escaped 5 times. Sentenced to 43 years.

Nuri Karyo, raped 4 little boys and 2 girls in one night. Sentenced to death.

I looked these guys up and, turns out, they're OCs of this very fanfic. Did we REALLY have to drag in CHILD RAPE for this asinine fapfic?!

These inmates would plan on getting to freedom, by force. At lunch, Ilker had a knife concealed and Yaser had a bomb in his prison pockets.

Security here must really suck.

"Everything ready to go as planned Ilker?" Kenan asked in Turkish.

Ilker smiled "Everything's ready." then turned to Yaser "Yaser, make sure the bomb is armed."

Yaser nodded "I got it all under my control." he reached in then armed the bomb.

A prison guard noticed "What the hell are you doing? Eat your food." but then he noticed something in Yaser's pocket. "Bomba! Bomba!" the guard shouted.

Sadly, that is indeed the Turkish word for "bomb". If that's the case, why bother having them speak in English while in scenes like this?!

Yaser threw the bomb at the lunch room's wall. It explosion caused a hole big enough for the prisoners to get free. The prisoners started to riot.

One of the rioters said "Go boys! Make the government of Turkey pay!" in Turkish. Kenan shot the guard with them. "Come on boys! Destiny awaits!" Ilker shouted.

To be fair, Turkey's government hasn't been the best, lately.

"But first boss, let's kill the prison!" Nuri had a gun pulled out

Pretty lofty goals, you FREAK.

The 4 top inmates ran out to join the other rioters.

In cell block D, the guards noticed all cells open and the prisoners charged out with swords and scimitars.

"Code red! Code red! Riot in progress!" the Turkish prison intercom issued.

Some guards held out with guns but when ammo was running low, one of them retreated as his comrades died.

The guard pulled a radio out "Please! Where's the radio room?"

Another guard said "3rd floor!"

The helpless guard made to the radios room and then started to transmit a message in English and send it to a lot of networks hoping preferably Russia would hear him. As he is in the middle of transmitting, the door to the room is shot open. Ilker had a gun in his hand.

"Turkey is better with no tyrants like you." Ilker told the guard then pulled the trigger on the guard and... Bang!

Oh, sure. End the riot scene with a Joker gun sound effect. That won't break the tension, what little there is!

Smash Mansion, Phoebe's bedroom.

The sun had come up nicely, Phoebe sat up as she yawned and stretched herself while the covers dropped from her chest. She was nude underneath the covers. Phoebe saw a sleeping Lizabeth on her left side and a smile on her face. With a clever hand, Phoebe grasped part of the covers that hid Lizabeth's breasts from her then pulled them down. Lizabeth stirred then woke up to see Phoebe smiling.

Great. More mood-killing lesbian sex. As if we haven't had enough. At least incest isn't being factored in.

"Morning Lizabeth." Phoebe waved her right hand.

"Good morning to you too Phoebe." Lizabeth returned.

Phoebe looked outside at the sun and said "Must be a beautiful morning isn't it?"

Lizabeth checked the clock "It's 7:05."

Phoebe turned back to Lizabeth and reminded her "That means breakfast is between 6:30 and 10:00."

Getting up early. My personal Hell.

Phoebe put her index and middle finger on her chin to think back then she remembered what Lizabeth told her. In the Dulag, to Lizabeth's horror, the Germans would've killed Nagayori Murai if she didn't tell them what she knows about breeders of Pokemon.

Knowing this fanfic, the author would have made the phrase "Pokemon Breeder" FAR too literal. Expect Gardevoirs and Lopunnys making out non-stop.

Phoebe put Lizabeth in her lap and observed her body. They both had medium sized breasts and pink nipples, Lizabeth had no pubic hair but Phoebe had some.

Lizabeth put a hand near Phoebe's clit "When was the last time you shaved?"

Phoebe giggled, "Don't remember."

Please stop mentioning pubic hair. It's kind of gross.

The 2 dark skinned girls took off the things that held their hair in place then got off the bed.

"I'm gonna shower up. Wanna join me?" Phoebe offered with a hand.

Lizabeth smiled and took the hand "Sure."

The 2 girls walked into the bathroom, and Phoebe halted for a moment. "I'll need to use the toilet first." Phoebe sat down on her toilet. Lizabeth enjoyed watching the ghost pokemon trainer urinate in her toilet. After Phoebe flushed, the 2 got in the shower.

Never mention that again. PLEASE.

Phoebe turned on the hot water and the water trickled down them like a rain storm. The shower head could be separated from it's mount.

The ghost trainer picked up a bottle of soap and covered her body in it. She then pressed her body against Lizabeth and then began to rub her body up and down leaving suds on Lizabeth. After doing the front, Phoebe went around and decided to do Lizabeth's back next. While rubbing with her body, Phoebe felt excited as she was sometimes touching Lizabeth's little ass. With soap all over Lizabeth, Phoebe took advantage to put her fingers inside Lizabeth. Lizabeth moaned excitingly as Phoebe rubbed herself against her back. The rubbing was more than she could take and she came.

Quit hogging the showers! You realize this has basically become a military base? Isn't sex kind of looked down upon in training regiments? Because I don't know!

"So, what kind of girls do you like?" Lizabeth turned around and said to Phoebe.

Phoebe put her hands on her tits "I prefer women with their breasts big."

"Like who?"

Phoebe grinned "Cynthia."

Lizabeth giggled. "Why would you prefer to make love to women who have breasts that are big?"

Phoebe took the shower head off it's mount and began to wash the soap off herself with the hot water. "If i made love to a girl with medium sized, sometimes they would not be enough to satisfy me. But if i were with a women with big mounds, i would feel good. In your case i'll make an exception for you make me feel good.

Glad we could hear your sexual preferences. Now, I'll try to excuse myself before you blurt your dying declaration of love to your mother (because what else would happen to 2 women in the same room here?).

Lizabeth rubbed the back of her head "I guess that explains why you like Cynthia."

After Lizabeth got the suds off of herself, the 2 girls got out. After drying themselves off, Phoebe brushed her teeth and then flossed. Lizabeth did the same. While watching, Phoebe thought "Such a good roommate. What a beautiful body she has, her breasts and her ass. I love you Lizabeth."

After leaving the bathroom, Phoebe put on her normal clothes which Bright washed during the night she was away. Lizabeth put on her clothes after Phoebe applied hers.

"Care to go to the beach later on?"

Omaha Beach, perhaps? What?! Several historical areas have been defiled already!

Lizabeth nodded with a happy face "Oh yes! We could bring some girls with us."

Phoebe opened the door "Okay. Let's head to breakfast."

The 2 girls walked out.

What fun will ensue at the beach for Phoebe and Lizabeth? Can Ilker's prison riot be stopped? Be here next time for the answers!

Oh, good. The obligatory Beach episode trope. Get ready to get diseases up the wazoo if you gals decide to make out on the garbage laden beach!

See you soon.


The mistakes I see in this this work are to be pointed out so they may not be repeated.
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Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 20th July 2017 - 04:28 PM