Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )

4 Pages V  < 1 2 3 4 >  
Reply to this topicStart new topic
> Beast Boy in Equestria, The perfect storm of head-slammingly bad ideas
Post #21
MasterOfNintendo


Regular
***

Group: Members
Posts: 247
Joined: 18-January 16
Member No.: 1,747
Gender: Male



post Feb 7 2017, 01:33 PM
QUOTE (Dashguy @ Feb 7 2017, 01:25 PM) *
Do you want to get cut, Beast Boy? Because that's how you get cut, son.


Pfft! Next thing you're going to tell me is that Applejack and Rainbow Dash have other character traits beyond a southern accent and flying really fast.


You could try with this one, or this, or maybe this.


What does it say about your writing skills when the characters that we're supposed to despise end up looking heroic, while the one you want us to sympathize with is an asshole?


You know, I always think to myself. Is it going to be a wise move when I make Count Logan a villain in my humble fanfic series? Then, I get introduced to more of Mykan's work, serving to make for further justification. Seriously, how unsympathetic can you get?! I wouldn't mind so much if this how Mykan wanted to do him, if he didn't act like a complete bitch when a couple of commenters got on its case.


--------------------



The mistakes I see in this this work are to be pointed out so they may not be repeated.
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Post #22
MasterOfNintendo


Regular
***

Group: Members
Posts: 247
Joined: 18-January 16
Member No.: 1,747
Gender: Male



post Feb 7 2017, 10:47 PM
So, Beast Boy is a selfish prick and Equestria come out as more heroic than the author intends. What else is new?

Pink= Myself


White= What I wish was a glitch on my computer

Chapter 10: Getting Along

The only way to even get close to this with Mykan is basically become a sycophant.

Fluttershy escorted Beast Boy to her cottage, and showed him a little more of Ponyville along the way. Thankfully, because of Rarity’s work on his mane and tail some ponies didn’t recognize him and didn’t confuse him for Changeling.

In fact, they should have never panicked if this fic was logical.

Ponyville seemed like an okay place to Beats Boy, but it sure seemed to be lacking a lot. No automotive vehicles, just wagons, air-balloons. There were shopping boutiques, café’s and mostly homes with thatched roofs, but no video arcades, major shopping malls, or even a theme park.

Oh, look! The return of the "Beats Boy" spelling error! Also, let me guess? You'll bitch and moan because they don't have those commodities? Except they do in at least one of those departments?

Attached Image

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think I’d gone back in time to the 1900s.” Beast Boy said.

“Ponyville is just a simple town.” said Fluttershy “There are other fine places-- Canterlot, where the royal sisters live, Cloudsdale, home of the Wonderbolts, Manehatten and Fillydelphia, now those are bustling places.”

Oh, so Mykan knows that Equestria isn't backwards and doesn't need a bunch of space-faring ninnies to teach them right from wrong?

Beast Boy noted the names of each place, “Um… are all places in this world somehow named like horses or ponies.”

“Oh, no.” said Fluttershy “There’s many places to visit in Equestria, but right now we should get you settled in. You’ve had such a hard day.”

Please tell me they visit the Dragon Kingdom. Beast Emo wouldn't last a minute.

He couldn’t’ argue with that. Despite his almost being sentenced, he was still getting used to the world around him. It seemed so strange yet almost his own world at the same time.

Soon they arrived at Fluttershy’s, and the place looked fairly beautiful to Beast Boy. It was like coming to a small farm. Then again she told him she was animal caregiver, even to big burly animals, like bears, and moose.

I...wouldn't call it a farm, per say. It's more of a cottage.

All her animal friends seemed excited that she was home and huddled around her, especially her Number-One pet rabbit, Angel.

A fine example of irony in Equestria.

“Everyone, this is Beast Boy, and he’ll be staying with us for a little while. So I want you all to make him feel welcome, okay?”

All the animals agreed and circles around Beast Boy, dancing in a ring around him; their way of saying “Hello and Welcome.”

Aw, I can't help it. Having a bunch of baby animals surrounding me would bring down my defenses.

Beast Boy felt the squirrels brushing their tails against him, and the birdies softly flying past him and their feather brushed against his face. “Hey, that tickles.” he giggled.

Cute and all, but what's wrong with calling the avians birds instead of the much more childish "birdies"? I mean, grow a pair, Mykan.

Fluttershy giggled too, and she gazed into his eyes and he gazed back at her. “Um… well… let’s get you settled in.”

By nightfall, Fluttershy made some honey thanks to the friend bees from the hives in her backyard. Beast Boy was forced to drink his tea through a straw since he wasn’t able to grab and lift up the cup. Normally, Beast Boy wasn’t much for tea anyway, but he found it tasting so warm and sweet, he couldn’t stop until the tea was just about all out.

“I’m glad that you like it, Beast Boy.” Fluttershy said to him.

“It’s actually making me feel a little better… all considering.”

Well, I guess therapy involving Fluttershy IS rather helpful. It worked for Discord (WHERE THE EVER LOVING FRAG IS HE), so it should work for this schmuck.

“Is something wrong?”

Beast Boy could think of no other way to put it “No offense but… I’m still having a hard time believing all this is real. I mean… I’m talking to a pony. Heck, I’ve become a pony, and not like the kind in my world.

You've transformed into dinosaurs and got your town turned into a Monty Python skit. No excuse.

…It’s just that, I never thought such a place like this could exist, and I’ve been everywhere.”

My point, exactly.

Fluttershy was more than understanding of all this, and yet it still concerned her the way he didn’t want to go back to the human world. “Beast Boy… what if something bad did happen to you here? Somebody must miss you in your world.”

Actually...nah. Still, points for consideration.

Hearing that made Beast Boy think back to his own world, and it made some of his sadness catch up to him again. “No…” he simply said “Nobody misses me.”

"NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME!!! I'M DEEP! I DO DEEP THINGS!"

She found that difficult to believe. “But what about you…? Isn’t there anyone you miss?”

Just thinking about the people he missed who either didn’t miss him, or were not even back there waiting for him increased his sadness.

“I… I really don’t want to talk about that. I’m sorry.”

“No… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up if it bothers you so.”

He smiled sadly at her. He tried not to let it show, but he was beginning to feel Fluttershy was very sweet and kind; much kinder to him that most people he ever knew.

True, that. Still, doesn't it compare to Starfire when she tried to lay on the news to you softly and even offered you advice?

Nah, she's a bitch in your book for not kissing your ass. How could I be so foolish?


He let out a small yawn, and Fluttershy and Angel yawned too. “I think we should all go to bed. It’s been a long day.” said Fluttershy.

Beast Boy agreed, and soon Fluttershy’s sofa was all set up for him. It felt really comfortable to him, even in his pony-form.

Fluttershy even tucked him in like a loving mother-figure. “There, is that good?” she asked tenderly.

Further proof that Mykan is, despite how much he preaches otherwise, desperate for some kind of affection like that.

I love my mom...


“I’ll be okay…” he replied and he gazed deeply at her “Thank you, Fluttershy.”

Feeling flattered and happy, she bent down and softly pecked his head. “I’ll see you in the morning. Everything will be okay.”

Then she blew out any candles, and turn out the lights before heading off to bed herself with Angel.

Beast Boy looked out the window, and the night sky really seemed beautiful. He then let out a small yawn and casually drifted off to sleep.

You gotta admit, Mykan. Equestria looks as good as it ever did. So good that you have to steal vectors to make your characters.

Next morning he opened his eyes, only to find he was no longer on the sofa. For that matter, he was no longer a pony, but his normal self again. “Dude… it was all a dream.” he said to himself.

"I'm gonna get my life back together again, if you don't mind."

He got up and realized he was in the cave where he first met Changeling, only all the stolen money and goods were no longer there either, and the only footprints in the sands were that of which he made upon the night when he left Titan’s Tower in a huff, after quitting the team.

I thought you flew in in a huff. Actually, not a huff. More like a temper tantrum a toddler would be shaking his/her head at.

He stepped out of the cave and could see all of Jump City still as it was. He felt somewhat disappointed that all those things didn’t really happen to him. Yet they felt so real. He felt along his head where Fluttershy had pecked him, he could still practically feel the warmth.

Of course, putting all that aside, “What am I going to do now?” he wondered “I can’t go back to the tower, and there’s pretty no place I can go in the city. No one will accept me.”

Two words: DOOM. PATROL. The author is giving you a logical handicap for the sake of padding out the plot and "revenge".

Suddenly, he heard a loud noise, sounded like an explosion from several blocks away. “Dude!” he cried, and he changed into a falcon and flew off to investigate.

He found those same five guys whom robbed the bank from the other day were back, and armed in the same exo-suits as before, and were robbing the bank again. They were faced with the other Titans.

Oh, hey. Remember THOSE memorable characters? I remember their names so well that I can't state them right now.

“Titans go!” shouted Robin.

All the Titans charged in at once, but the crooks all laughed and fired their suit weapons--missiles, flame-throwers, machine guns.

“NO!!!” Beast Boy cried as he watched each and all his friends get totally trounced to death.

All four of them lay in the street, severely wounded and bleeding streams of blood. The crooks then made off with all the money they had stolen and were gone.

Feeling smug about leaving the Titans now? I know this is a nightmare, but this should give you a good insight on how well Mykan's Titans function without the little green slagheap. PLEASE at least let this give some perspective for him.

Beast Boy, devastated, dashed over to Robin. “Robin! Are you alright?” he cried.

“No… thanks… to you…!” Robin growled weakly.

Best final words in this context, really.

“We… needed you!” cried Starfire.

“You were… there… for us!” groaned Cyborg.

Raven said nothing, and just looked at him shamefully. Then, feeling it was taking too long to expire from her injuries, she shot her own self in the head with a tiny burst of her power.



Then again, I'd shoot myself too if I had to star in the fic as an eternal punching bag.

“Raven!” cried Beast Boy, and then all the others expired from their injured. “No…!” he peeped softly as ears came to his eyes.

There was worse to come as he soon found himself surrounded by an angry mob of people from the city.

“He murdered the Titans!”

“He let the bad guys get away with our money!”

"He turned an otherwise likeable character into a goddamn punchline on Project AFTER and beyond!"

“Get him!”

Beast Boy tried to protest, but before he knew it the people jumped all over him, and he was brought before a court of justice.

“Beast Boy, what have you to say for yourself?” the judge sneered.

"I'm...deep to the extreme?"

"Guilty. Court adjourned."

Beast Boy opened his mouth to speak, but the judge immediately decided “Ah, who cares? …Death by the electric chair.”

No doubt how Mykan sees the world.

“What?!” snapped Beast Boy.

All the people seemed to cheer, more as if they personally just wanted him to be executed for petty reasons.

“Burn the freak!”

“Go away Greenie!”

“Die!”

My point stands taller than any point I've made here by now.

He suddenly found himself strapped into the chair, and who was given the honor of pulling the switch…!

“Terra!” cried Beast Boy “You can’t! You wouldn’t! You know me better than that.”

Terra looked at him grimly and shook her head saying, “Sorry, but… I don’t know you. I’ve never known you. Things Change…”

"BITCH!"

“NO, TERRA DON’T…!!”

She pulled the switch! Everything flashed.

End of fanfic! Bye! What a lame attempt to earn sympathy, but at least the fanfic is ov...ah, hell. Spoke too soon.

…And his eyes snapped open, and he gasped softly in shock. He was a unicorn, on Fluttershy’s sofa in her house, in the magical world of Equestria.

THAT… was all just a dream. He was very relieved, but he couldn’t help but think to himself, “The Titans don’t need me, and I don’t need them. They can manage just as well without me…

…Can’t they?”

Not in this ass-backwards universe.

Exhausted, he lay back down and softly drifted back to sleep.

"Did you see that?! He's sad, but he's edgy! He dreams of despair and character death! Everything is his fault, yet it isn't! He's a victim and everyone else can BURN IN HELL!"

That got scary. Geez.

See you soon.


--------------------



The mistakes I see in this this work are to be pointed out so they may not be repeated.
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Post #23
MasterOfNintendo


Regular
***

Group: Members
Posts: 247
Joined: 18-January 16
Member No.: 1,747
Gender: Male



post Feb 9 2017, 02:25 PM
Ow. The edge. That's all I can do to describe that last chapter. Onto the next one.

Pink= Me


White= A necessity in the author's deluded mind

Chapter 11: First Confrontation

Can the Titans stop the dreaded forces of Project AFTER from having some peace and quiet? Find out on today's episode!

It was very late at night in Jump City, but fortunately there was no school the next morning, which was slightly good for Terra. The poor girl couldn’t seem to get any sleep that night, she went out for a very late night stroll to try and clear her mind.

Bet she does this daily. Thank a ton, Beast Emo.

It was the same story as usual; no matter how hard she would try she could not seem to get Beast Boy off her mind, but it wasn’t all that. Jackie and Jillian stopped talking to her since she spat at them and thinking she was getting sweet on Beast Boy. She tried her best to tell the truth, albeit she was pretty much trying to lie and deny her past once more.

I'd be trying to block out my memories of taking innocent life and wrecking the world to holy Hell too! Mykan, you entitled halfwit.

Now she felt more alone that ever, and it was badly affecting her school studies, which wouldn’t help her in a normal life.

Her...school studies...wouldn't help her...in a normal life? I'm pretty sure that's just the sentence structure being poorly done, but geez.

Why was this happening to her? Why was the world and nature still trying to torture her after everything she had already been through?

I think we can all agree who's the cause. Or really, what. I say that because the author, when writing a fanfic, basically becomes God of the world he creates. That applies to more than just Mykan, in my opinion.

More importantly, why couldn’t she stop feeling so guilty about all that happened between her and Beast Boy during the past week? Was she actually starting to regret what she did? Did she really care about him so much that she was really willing to give it just one more try and reclaim what she gave up?

There's little I can do to dissuade you from rewarding bad behavior, so go right fragging ahead.

She held her aching head in frustration, “Why can’t it just leave me alone?!” she groaned softly.

Then, she looked up, and she could see someone, wearing a robe and hood, high up on the roof a building. The moon was shining just bright for her to see.

“Beast Boy…?” she peeped. There was no mistaking him. She recognized the robe and the slight hint of green skin in the moonlight.

That, or it was just a leper.

She also noticed several police cars and black vans parked along the street, all of them seemed to be pointing towards the way to the Second National Bank… the same direction where Beast Boy was heading.

Mykan, if you're gonna make Wells Fargo (or whatever bank denies you the most) look bad, just name it Wells Fargo (or whatever). Dancing around the issue just makes you look undignified.

She felt a small voice inside calling to her, “Let’s go check it out.”

“No, are you crazy? That isn’t my life anymore.”

“Wow, and you call me crazy. Look, you can’t kid yourself. You know you at least want to see, so just get going!”

Oh. Great. Mykan just flat out put voices in her head. And he keeps trying to pass this "pairing" as the greatest of all. Just for that, here's a much cuter pairing.



What?! It's highly more plausible than this!

Terra, unable to fight her better judgment, ran off through the alleys heading for the bank, but upon seeing all the police cars along the way, she knew she had to go higher to get a better view.

I never liked drugs (in fact, hated them), but I'm ready to get high right now.

Seeing no one was around, she grabbed two small rocks on the ground, “It’s been awhile; don’t let me down.” she said calmly to herself. She then clenched the rocks hard and used her powers to lift the rocks, pulling herself up, up, up and onto a rooftop that overlooked the bank down below in the street.

Pretty good use of her powers without creating a fuss. I'll give this that.

The whole place seemed deserted, with hardly any security guarding the perimeter as mentioned in reports.

Suddenly, she saw Beast Boy leap onto the roof of the bank, and she began to have a sickly feeling in the pit of her stomach, regarding the reports about all the stolen goods. “Oh, no… it can’t be!” she cried softly to herself.

And with that, the waterworks are one when the man is doing something bad. Honestly, I'm doubting the mental stability of these girls in Mykan's fics.

Changeling, unaware he was being watched and not really seeming to care about being too cautious, sighed as he stood on the roof, “Another night, another easy score. What do I have to do for some excitement?”

I dunno. Binge watch Game of Thrones?

Suddenly, bright lights shone on him from behind. He turned round and saw the Titans standing behind him, and Cyborg and robin flashing their lights on him.

“We meet at last.” Robin sneered.

He and the others obviously didn’t recognize him from within the shadows of his hood, but he knew who they were. “So you’re the Teen Titans I’ve heard so much about. You really don’t look like much to me.”

"You used to be cool, guys! And I've only been here for what? A few months?"

The Titans felt offended “We may not appear as much to you, but you will be thinking twice when this battle concludes.” said Starfire.

“Really…?” scoffed Changeling.

Like I said, I really wish Prime Starscream was voicing him. Gives him at least one edge in this fic.

More, brighter lights shone from below as police cars surrounded the entire area, and more officers popped up onto the roofs pointing guns at their target.

There were even guards up on Terra’s roof, but she kept well out of sight by hiding behind large air-conditioning unit.

“Freeze!” an officer shouted through a megaphone “We have you completely surrounded. Put your hands above your head.”

Changeling snickered.

“Oh, no!” peeped Raven. She could tell what was going to happen, but it was too late.

Another trend reappears! Peeping! What more will we see?

“Like this…?” Changeling called as he quickly raised his hands, and sent out a magical wave. The waved knocked the Titans back a bit, and the magic shattered all the lights shining on him, and jammed every single police gun so none would fire on him.

With something like that, I'm surprised the bones in every single person there (especially the non-powered ones) stayed intact.

The officers tried to march in. “Stand back!” Changeling shouted as he snapped his fingers, magically conjuring a flame wall all around him and the titans on the roof.

"FLAME SHIELD UP! I know this technique because the author hasn't been subtle about his insecurities."

The Titans were the only ones standing with him now. “You’ve only now just seen a sample of my talents. Still think you can take me on?”

“Titans go!” shouted Robin, and he and the others dashed forth.

Robin lunged at him with his metal staff, but Changeling fought valiantly with his arms and legs like a skilled martial artist, and actually knocked the staff away, and kicked Robin hard in the chest.

So...Raised by Batman < Scrub with an amulet.

Wow. How the mighty fall in this universe.


Starfire came at him firing her starbolts like crazy, but Changeling swerved and evaded each and every one. “My turn!” he chuckled, and he fire dark bolts, similar to hers right back at her, forcing her to retreat.

And, of course, the girls are so scared of the big bad villain! Then again, if it was like mini-gun fire, I might have the benefit of a doubt.

“I got him!” hollered Cyborg as he came charging in with his cannon ready to fire.

Changeling softly touched his amulet for luck, and then… just as Cyborg was about to hit him, he instantly warped to right behind him. Cyborg whirled round to hit him again only for him to warp again. He tried a few more times, but he couldn’t seem to land a single hit.

For luck? Now, I just imagined Changeling with a comical look of terror on his face before teleport spamming.

“Ha-Ha! You have to be quick if you want to catch me.”

Fuming like a raging volcano, Cyborg fired his shoulder missiles, but Changeling held out his amulet, and in a bright flash the missiles turned right back and headed straight for Cyborg, forcing him to run about to avoid each one.

“Too bad…” changeling mocked. Then he was suddenly shrouded within a hollow barrier of dark light conjured by Raven. “Too bad for you…” she called to him.

“That voice…” he murmured and he turned within the barrier to look at her, but he couldn’t make her out too well because of her hood and the dark light, but he could still see her clearly enough, and her magic was still no match for his as he demonstrated by glaring at her with his glowing eyes which shattered her concentration and knocked her back against the large air-conditioning unit on the roof.

Of course, ALL his abilities must be better against the Titans unless Beast Boy is here. Of course. And really? A GLARE?! He's not that cool. Stop trying to make us think that.

Her hood slipped down and he got a good look at her face. “Oh, my…” he said in a deep tone “So beautiful…”



Look, I know she's hot, but does anyone here see where this is going?

Raven’s features twisted, “Are you talking to me?”

He stepped forth in a rather creepy like way, only to get shot at from behind. The other Titans stood glaring at him and Raven got up and refitted her hood.

Prepare to have your dick torn off and sent to Trigon's dimension, guy.

Changeling couldn’t stop looking at her though, and as much as he would normally continue to fight, he had a change of plan. “We’ll meet again…” he hissed at all the Titans, “Oh, and thanks for the spare change.”

"What can I say? I need gas money."

Before the Titans could react, the firewall swooped down in on changeling, and he and the flames just vanished without a trace.

“He is gone!” cried Starfire.

Robin felt worried by what he meant by “Spare Change”, and the Titans and the police inspected inside the bank, and no less than ten billion dollars in gold, documents and bills were missing from the many vaults… vanished into thin air.

What else do you expect from a villain going "God Mode" on your asses?

“He never even had to come inside the bank.” said Robin.

Cyborg angrily punched the solid metal of one of the vaults, “All this time, he was just distracting us, and the worst of it is we don’t even know what he looks like. We didn’t even get a glimpse of his face.”

Raven seemed more concerned with the power she had witnessed. “I’ve never seen anything like it. Even my power wasn’t enough to stop him.”

Did Changeling also make a pact with Genericus the Glue-Maker?

“Do not despair so, friends.” said Starfire “We at least know now what is truly happening.”

“Star’s right…” said Robin “We know a little of what we’re up against, so maybe we can devise a plan against that guy, and hopefully find where he’s stashed all the money and goods.”

As all the police officers packed up their damaged weapons and supplies, and all went home in shame and worry for the city, Terra was soon left on the other building’s rooftop all by herself, and she felt tears coming to her eyes from what she had just seen.

“Beast Boy… you are the one doing all this!” she said softly trying not to sob. She never felt so shocked, as if she had been betrayed.

Are you for fragging real?! Oh, yes! Beast Boy has been known to trounce all his fellow Titans with magic and what-not! You really do have brain-damage! When has he been able to do all that?!

Oh, right. She's an idiot sometimes.


“What can I do?” she wondered “I know I should tell someone but… oh…!”

Her insides were going positively crazy! If Beast Boy knew she ratted him out, given what she had already seen, who knew how furious he’d get. Then again if she didn’t tell he’d continue to steal and terrorize the town and possible move on to rob other cities, whole countries… which still hurt and baffled her; the fact that he had turned to international crime and vandalism.

I don't even think he would stoop to that while pining over you. He was just that pathetic. Still, rat him out, if you really think it's him. Sure, it's a stupid assumption being spread about, but at least I'll know you're not dependent on the little imp.

Of course, she was one to think that, being a former apprentice of Slade and nearly destroying the entire town because she was so misguided and manipulated.

Uh, no. She was all for it until she had an attack of consciousness. It's why she felt so bad to the point of suicide. That she would do those things on a whim. Then again, Slade (in this universe, at least) has his ways...

“Oh, great… now I’m thinking of that again!” she groaned. She had absolutely no idea what to think, what to do or whom to turn to.

A psychiatrist. Just switch some details around (like your powers/backstory) and he might have a chance. Sure, Mykan will just have him/her fail to understand, but an effort would be nice.

Meanwhile, Changeling sat in his cave. By this point he had stolen so much that he couldn’t begin to estimate how rich he was, but all he could do was think back to that girl… Raven.

He had never seen a girl like her, and her voice-- so dark and almost eerie-- and her magic, though not much compared to his own, it only made him think more of her.

"I just realized something, as well. How come I'M the only one who sees her as a worthy mate and Beast Boy just threw her off despite being friends with her and my interests just being born of lust?! Did I take the guise of an idiot or what?!"

“Perhaps that’s why I’ve been so bored…” he wondered to himself “I’ve been on my own a good long time. I’ve stolen enough to set for more than a-hundred lifetimes.”

Even he gets that companionship is vastly superior to living alone in a token and hollow life. Had this been a better fic, I would have had him look around and realize he's made a complete and utter hash of his life and becoming the new Beast Boy. But nope! How about more villainous drivel?!

The more and more he thought about it, the more it began to sink into him. “Yes…” he felt “Maybe that’s what I’ve been missing. Someone I can have by my side. Someone whom will answer to my every will, and to think, with her powers combined with my own; the possibilities are endless!”

He made up his mind, and imagined what it would be like to steal something he never had before: Someone’s heart…

"Also, I've never stolen from Area 51. I mean, what's the worst thing that could happen?"



"NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE..."

…Raven’s!

He began to fall into a musical daze.

(Skip to 0:12)



Yep. Another video. And, to put the .gif in context, this one's from the cartoon Donkey Kong Country. It was a good enough cartoon to get into both me and Mykan's favor, but now, adding insult to injury, he's putting some lyrics here. Specifically, this is Bluster's Love Potion. Apparently, we're in a music video now. Slag.

I have come a long way, and now do I realize

That the Teen Titan called Raven is the girl of my eyes


I've lived a life citizens giving me sass,

so I think it's time I've got me some human ass!


I’ll shower her with gold and with treasures glittering bright,

She’d be a fool to turn me down; I know she’ll do what’s right.


Then again, and no matter how much I scoff,

I run the risk of getting my dick pulled off!


I may be a dangerous crook, but once she takes look

She will see how perfect we could ever be.


I mean, with all social ques in this fic ditched,

In just one day, we might as well be hitched!


One pound of gold bars, and a Ming Vase to the row

A shining silver necklace, now that’ll make things go


A ball gag, a spiked dildo, some strands of beads...

Huh. Never figured before she had some...interesting needs.


Mink coats so furry and a beautiful bronze cat

A crystal ruby ring; oh, she’d go for that.


Of course, the most important thing would be a damned date,

But the author won't let me. He's becoming more and more irate.


I see us in a castle as a wealthy king and queen

Surrounded by so many riches, you see what I mean.


Knowing her heritage, that analogy doesn't work so well.

For Celestia's sake, her father rules over the kingdom of Hell!


One pound of gold bars, and a Ming Vase to the row

A shining silver necklace, now that’ll make things go


As you folks can tell from this chorus,

The author has the brain of an Apatosaurus!


Mink coats so furry and a beautiful bronze cat

A crystal ruby ring; oh, she’d go for that.


Thank the stars! The song's over for you and me!

Now, off I go. Time to lose my virginity!


“…Raven”

The song ended, and he snapped back into reality. “But how…” he wondered “How am I to get close to her without being suspected by anyone?”

"Also, why couldn't I have been quoting Skillet songs in that trance?!"

I love that band. I'm just gonna let it out of there.

He thought and he thought while softly creasing his face, and then he remembered, and he dashed outside and looked down at his reflection in the waves of water that splashed onto the beach… he looked just like Beast Boy.

“Yes!” he snickered “That will work!”

I think it's time I explain where Mykan most likely got the idea for this villain. Comic book history time!

Changeling was the original alias of the Beast Boy character and he must have changed it because people must have loved the other name better. Actually, I think it's because Changeling wasn't too indicative of his actual abilities (Changelings are actually fair folk that basically take over your life). Also, in the comics, Beast Boy and Raven is a very...you get it, actually.

You could call this a clever move on Mykan's part on making his imposter share a Mythology gag for a name, but it just comes off as lazy, seeing as how Changeling is this criminal's actual name and he lives in a world where there are ACTUAL CHANGELINGS. Also, nice to see this guy is going out of his way to derail the ship. Then again, this could mean the end of Raven getting shipped with a Mykan OC. Hopefully.

See you soon.


--------------------



The mistakes I see in this this work are to be pointed out so they may not be repeated.
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Post #24
MasterOfNintendo


Regular
***

Group: Members
Posts: 247
Joined: 18-January 16
Member No.: 1,747
Gender: Male



post Feb 10 2017, 03:33 PM
Finally! We're halfway through! It's something at least.

Pink= Myself


White= Reason for Brain Bleach

Chapter 12: Beast Boy and Fluttershy...it looks like it



Oh...NO. Mykan just went for that cliche, didn't he? I could list the reasons why this is asinine, but we'd be here forever. Chief among them is the fact that he's basically crushing on a miniature horse.

But hey! He might move on! Right? Probably not.


Beast Boy woke up the next morning and helped Fluttershy feed her many animals breakfast. As a guy who changed into animals like them, he knew a little about them, but it really amazed him how gentle and caring Fluttershy acted toward each and every animal she cared for.

Of course, he had to do a double-take when he saw how she massaged bears.

Even the bear purred like a cat, but what he found the most entrancing was her beautiful voice as she sang along with her bird choir to warm up their chirping.

"All together, girls!"

Yatsu ga kuru...Jigoku sarasu!!!

Osoikuru...Yume mo kooru!!!


“Very good, everyone… You’ll make fine singers.”

The birds all chirped happily.

Beast Boy still couldn’t seem to go five minutes without glancing over at Fluttershy, the same he used to when he met Terra.

Please, for the love of Kronos, don't make her the victim of any stalking if she goes out with Bulk Biceps.

“Ah, man!” he groaned in thought, “I can’t be falling for her. She’s a pony. Sure, I mean she’s beautiful, and loving, and caring to animals much like I am…

…Oh, no..!”

He knew by this point he couldn’t try to fight it, and seemed to fall for her more and more.

Love, in Mykan's universe, is something that's instantaneous and requires no development whatsoever.

Admit it, guy. You wanna get laid.


Fluttershy looked over her side and saw him gazing at her. She blushed softly and turned away, and her knees began to quiver. “What’s happening to me?” she thought to herself.

Angel tapped her leg and then with his paw he scribbled a little heart in the dirt. Fluttershy’s face went bright red, and she let out her little nervous squeak…

Like clockwork, there's a clip of Fluttershy squeaking. Mykan, we're not idiots. We've watched the show. You're just distracting from the story, terrible though it may be.

Also, Angel, I knew you were a bastard this whole time. Stop trying to pair the emo twat with the Element of Kindness!


She only just met him a little under a day ago, and she hardly knew much about him, even though he seemed kind of sweet, and a little funny, and though she wished she would tell him what was really bothering him about not wanting to return to his own world, she actually liked seeing him more the way he was now-- happy, easy going…

Even she knows this is getting ridiculous. Also, doesn't this just hammer in how Mykan can only sorta nail down her character?

After all the morning chores were done, Beast Boy sat on a chair in the living room “Well, what now?” he asked aloud.

“Wanna go out and get breakfast?” Fluttershy asked… very fast, because she was nervous.

“Huh?”

“Oh… um… what I mean is… um… did you… want to go out and get something to eat. I can… um… show you more of Ponyville.”

“Sure… I’d like that.” replied Beast Boy.

Fluttershy’s teeth jittered.

All of this makes me wish she got together with that dragon from Dragonshy. It be much cuter and make a bit more sense than this.

“Are you okay?” Beast Boy asked.

“Fine… I’m fine.” she peeped.

Soon, they were out, and they enjoyed a fine breakfast. After that, Fluttershy took Beast Boy all around town to see lots of friends she knew.

There was Tree Hugger: A hippie, nature-loving pony teaching a yoga class. They joined in for a small session, and Beast boy couldn’t seem to get the poses right and kept on popping his bones and falling over. Fluttershy couldn’t help but giggle, and he couldn’t help but chuckle either.

Oh, look. She's in this. 3 words, though...WHERE. IS. DISCORD?! What? Is it because you can't write him for slag or are you just THAT adamant that anything that looks remotely scary can't be part of the main cast?

Oh, wait. I know. You can't write such an entertaining character for slag.


Cheerilee: A school teacher. Though there was no school today, she and the Cutiemark Crusaders were out on an extra-credit assignment-- A Scavenger hunt. Cheerilee made up a list of things to find, and gave them well defines clues, to help the girls learn and understand more about everyday things around them in nature.

If Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon show up to act as Equestrian Jackie and Jillian, then we know this guy is grasping at cliches.

The Crusaders even found something right by Beast Boy’s hind feet “An Acorn!” cried Applebloom.

“Yeah, it’s small and it’s nutty…” said Sweetie Belle, “And it becomes very big because it can grow into an Oaktree.” added Scootaloo.

Anybody getting flashbacks to a certain Ed, Edd, N Eddy episode? I'd rather be watching that series.

“Very good, girls…” Cheerilee said as she cross the clue off her list.

The girls thanked Beast Boy for helping them, even though he didn’t really do anything, and then they went off with their teacher to find more things.

Even the narration won't give him undeserved moments of awesome. Progress?

Beast Boy and Fluttershy even met up some of the others that day.

When they stopped at Sugarcube corners, Pinkie Pie and the Cake’s offered Beast Boy a special cupcake with green frosting, for free.

"Do you like the cake? I made it special..."

And then he looked down at the cake, which had letters spelling out "GET YOUR LIFE TOGETHER, DUMBASS"

“It’s just our way of making you feel welcome here in Ponyville.” said Carrot Cake. “Yes, any friends of ours are just more friends for us.” added Cup Cake.

The baby cakes cooed happily.

Beast Boy was flattered.

You know, for a guy who thinks friendship is dumb, he's not exactly blowing up at them for offering their services in the name of friendship. Is it because they're all kissing your ass for being the newcomer?

Fluttershy smiled at him, and he offered to chare half his cupcake with her which made her blush, but she accepted.

They stepped outside and met up with Applejack and Big Mac in the midst of a crisis. One of their wagon wheels had fallen off and they had a delivery of apple pies, apple sauce, apple jam, and just plain apples to get to a bake sale.

Beast Boy and Fluttershy helped out. Beast Boy wasn’t too good at mechanics, at least complicated mechanics, but when it came to plain woodworks, he was a pro since he was good at handcrafting, even if he didn’t have hands.

Pretty impressive for a guy who fumbled around with basic tasks involving his hooves previously. Consistency? What's that?

Using just his bare hoofs he helped them get the wheel back in place and made it hold stronger than ever, earning him two pats on the back; one from Applejack, and a big one from her brother, which knocked him to the ground.

Dope slap! Also, couldn't have Mac done that with greater ease?

“Oh, are you okay?” Fluttershy asked as she helped him up, and they ended up gazing deeply into each other’s eyes again, and both felt bashful.

"Bam! They're soulmates! You feelin' it now, mockers? FEELING IT NOW?!"

Applejack and Big Mac both could figure what was going on.

Fluttershy and Beast Boy met along with Rarity, whom was taking a casual stroll to take in some sunlight. “One does need to keep up a good appearance with a little help from solar light.” she said.

"After all, it is practically our God's vessel."

Rainbow Dash was running, or rather flying through an obstacle course she had made, complete with huge cones, a tunnel, a swinging log, and even flamethrowers. She was quit the risk-taker…!

Next thing you know, she'll be importing Quarry Eels for the thrill of it. Glad to see we got those cliches out of the way!

The girls were shaken slightly as they watched her soar effortlessly through the course. “Yes! I beat my old record by ten seconds.” she bragged.

“Really, Rainbow Dash-- What if you had hurt yourself?” said Rarity.

Beast Boy didn’t seem impressed, “I’ve seen worse courses than this.”

I'm really starting to see a certain...grudge Mykan has for Dash. Let me guess? It's because she's manly? And possibly gay?

Or bisexual, in my head. C'mon. At least I'm not claiming there are thousands of genders here. This ain't Tumblr.


Rainbow’s features hardened. “What, like you could do any better? You can’t even fly, and you can barely use your magic right.”

“Ha! You don’t know what training to be a super hero means.” Beast Boy said, and he took his place at the starting line.

Aaaaand he's back to being an asshole that must one-up everyone who dares try to be more badass than him. The only thing he becomes good for in moments like this is becoming a good source of glue.

“Beast Boy!” cried Fluttershy.

“Darling, really you don’t have to do this.” added Rarity, but Beast Boy wouldn’t back down. “Ready…?” he said to Rainbow.

Rainbow nodded, and then raised her hoof and brought it down “Go!”

Beast Boy cantered across the field, and swerved gracefully round the cones. He crawled flawlessly through the tunnel, rolled under the swinging log as he past, and when he came to the fire-shooters, he aimed his horn at the ground and concentrated like he did before, and shot a huge blast at the ground launching himself up, up and over the wall of fire and he landed gracefully on his feet.

"OH MY GOD, HE'S SO GODDAMNED COOL, THAT I JUST JIZZED MYSELF ABOUT HOW COOL I AM-I mean HOW COOL HE IS!"

The girls were all astounded. Though he hadn’t beaten the record, not by a long shot, they couldn’t but awe at how flawless his run was, as well as the clever use of his unstable magic.

Beast Boy walked up to them smirking. “Well…?”

Rarity was speechless. “That was… What I mean to say is…”

“That was AWESOME!” exclaimed Rainbow, but Beast boy acted as though it was really nothing. “Like I said, I’ve seen worse. That’s what comes from being trained to be a hero.”

A hero would immediately race to help the people back at home. You're not a hero. You're a prick flaunting his powers one moment and acting like a schoolgirl the next.

Fluttershy was impressed as well, to a point where she couldn’t take her eyes off of him or even blink.

“You okay?” he asked, snapping her out of her trance. “Oh, Um… I’m okay.”

They gazed at each other and turned away blushing again, which made Rarity and Rainbow realize what was going on between them. Rarity said nothing, but Rainbow couldn’t resist…!

"Prepare your anus! I've got the toy for it!"

“Well, you two got the hots for one another.”

Beast boy and Fluttershy’s eyes widened.

“Aw, how cute… They both react together, and before you know it…” she began to hum a wedding march, which made Flutttershy and Beast boy turn bright red from heads to tails!

Before exploding violently.

“Rainbow Dash! Stop this!” snapped Rarity, but not only was Fluttershy so nervous to the point of tears, Beast Boy… many memories were flowing through his mind, all bad…!

"Romance bad! Teasing bad! World in absolutes good! Dash bad! Teasing bad! Changes bad!"

Memories of Terra, and all the wonderful times they had, only to be shattered by that same haunting line…

“Things Change, Beast Boy. The girl you want me to be is just a memory.”

Apparently. one date (not even THAT) is enough to remind him of the minimal amount of time with Terra. Yep. He's hopeless.

Those memories brought on other memories… ones he didn’t like being reminded of.

“Whoa! He looks like he’s going to burst!” said Rainbow.

He snapped himself to his senses, but he really looked upset. “Are you alright?” Fluttershy asked earnestly. “I just… I just want to be a lone for a bit, okay?” he asked.

Credit where credit is due, he didn't snap at Dash. Otherwise, she might have snapped...his back.

The girls were more than understanding and let him walk off on his own.

“Well, I hope you’re happy, Rainbow Dash.” sneered Rarity.

“What? I was just teasing him. I didn’t know he’d take it so personally.”

Agreed. Tell me again, Mykan. Who should we be siding with?

Fluttershy, though still nervous from Rainbow’s teasing, felt very worried about Beast Boy, and was really feeling he just couldn’t go on like this keeping his feelings bottled up.

“I think we all need to talk to Twilight about this. It’s time for him to tell us the truth.”

Well, they're gonna set him straight. Who's to say he'll go Tommy Wiseau on them and scream things about betrayal and being fed up with this world?

See you soon.



--------------------



The mistakes I see in this this work are to be pointed out so they may not be repeated.
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Post #25
N. Harmonik


Tourist
**

Group: Members
Posts: 134
Joined: 14-August 13
From: New Brunswick, Canada
Member No.: 929
Gender: Female



post Feb 12 2017, 07:33 AM
Is it weird that I'm imagining a few of your comments in Statler and/or Waldorf's voices?

An amusing irony is that Mykan's accidentally made Equestria look better than United Equestria. The author has actually stated here that Starfleet doesn't bother having trials if there is "more than enough proof". So Beast Emo would have been sent to the slammer without even a chance to defend himself in Mykan's perfect little world!

How about at the end, you have the real Beast Boy show up and tear Beast Emo a new one verbally?


--------------------
Rest in peace, Brian Jacques and Jean-Yves Raimbaud!
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Post #26
MasterOfNintendo


Regular
***

Group: Members
Posts: 247
Joined: 18-January 16
Member No.: 1,747
Gender: Male



post Feb 12 2017, 11:17 AM
QUOTE (N. Harmonik @ Feb 12 2017, 07:33 AM) *
Is it weird that I'm imagining a few of your comments in Statler and/or Waldorf's voices?

An amusing irony is that Mykan's accidentally made Equestria look better than United Equestria. The author has actually stated here that Starfleet doesn't bother having trials if there is "more than enough proof". So Beast Emo would have been sent to the slammer without even a chance to defend himself in Mykan's perfect little world!

How about at the end, you have the real Beast Boy show up and tear Beast Emo a new one verbally?


First off, I don't mind that impression of myself.

Secondly, I'm saving that last bit for a fanfic I'm making in the works. Thanks anyway.



--------------------



The mistakes I see in this this work are to be pointed out so they may not be repeated.
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Post #27
MasterOfNintendo


Regular
***

Group: Members
Posts: 247
Joined: 18-January 16
Member No.: 1,747
Gender: Male



post Feb 12 2017, 08:30 PM
So, with a really sub-par romance between Beast Emo and every (marginally) brony's waifu on the rise, we finally make it to something resembling a halfway point. It just pains me that there's MORE of this ahead.

Pink= Myself


White= The reason for the dents in my keyboard

Chapter 13: Tell Me What's Wrong

Do you want the short list or the long?

Twilight was still waiting for word from Princess Celestia about the upcoming mission to the human world. Until she got her final orders, she couldn’t make a move and was told not to take any chances.

And yet, she comes off as more competent than Grand "Let's do frag-all as a potential murderer runs loose in my kingdom" Ruler.

The Mane Six all met up at Rainbow Castle, and spoke about what to do with Beast Boy, and Fluttershy, again, suggested “We have to know what’s troubling him. He needs to tell us.”

“I know he should, Fluttershy,” said Twilight “But I don’t think it’ll be right to force it out of him. Especially from what you told me… he looked as if he was in a lot of emotional pain…

…But I guess you’re right.”

As per usual, it's as if there's not a shrink qualified to deal with this hot mess. Also, emotional pain? More like whining.

“Eeyup…” agreed Applejack “Keepin’ his feelin’s all bottled up like that ain’t healthy for the poor guy.”

Once again, Applejack is the voice of reason.

The others agreed, but Spike was rather skeptical, “I’m not sure this is a good idea. I mean, you heard him yesterday, he’s probably still convinced we can’t help him.”

“That is true…” agreed Rarity “However, we cannot simply ignore the problem either. That isn’t what we normally do when it comes to friendship problems.”

Please stop referring to these as "Friendship Problems". Either I haven't watched the show in a while or Mykan is continuing to reduce them down to Care Bears.

Competent Care Bears, mind you.


“You got friendship problems…?” said a familiar voice. Everyone turned and saw none other than Shining Armor and Princess Cadance standing at the door way.

“Brother!” cried Twilight and she ran over and hugged him. Then she hugged her sister in law, and they did their happy cheer…

And Mykan puts in a video of Twilight and Cadence doing their little dance. Because Mykan thinks his readers are idiots who have to be shown rather than told. Actually, he does both (as seen below). There's doing too little and then there's doing too much.

“Sunshine, Sunshine, Ladybugs awake!

Clap your hooves and do a little shake!”

They shared a laugh and another hug.

As Mykan began to foam at the mouth typing about his least-favorite pony.

The others were all delighted to see them as well. “What brings you two here?” asked Pinkie.

“We heard all about Beast Boy, and we actually want to meet him.” replied Shining Armor. “Princess Celestia gave us permission to come right over, and even spend the night.” added Cadance.

“Well, he’s not here right now, but I can send for him.” said Twilight “We were actually just talking about him. I’ll tell you all about it.”

So, the problems of this angsty teen are more important than matters at the Crystal Kingdom? What's this world coming to today?

As she led her family to the table, Rainbow stopped Cadance for a moment and whispered to her, “Did you get my letter…?”

“Sure did…” Cadance whispered back. Thanks to Rainbow she knew all about Fluttershy and Beast Boy, and being the pony of love she was, she couldn’t resist. “Nothing I like more than seeing potential couples… especially if maybe I can help them.”

Please, for the love of God, don't make a chapter where Cadence is reduced to being a sentient cupid arrow, essentially. Show's how much Mykan wants to make her look like an idiot.

Hopefully, he'll stop short of actually brutalizing her.


Beast Boy sat on a bench near a playground where had been sitting most of the afternoon. He still felt a little upset from his torment by his memories.

“Even in a whole other world they still bother me.” he groaned to himself. Then he thought back to Fluttershy and he wondered if he could really trust her or the others if he told them his troubles, but he was still very doubtful they could him with all their “Friendship is Magic” fantasies.

"My deepness is too much for them! I'm so deep that I hang around at Playgrounds! That's so deep! Right?!"

He caressed his forehead with his hoofs wondering what to do, when suddenly… POOF… a magic letter appeared before him, surprising him so much that he fell off the bench. He had already been told of the way wail traveled in Equestria, “They could warn me when it’s about to happen.” He grumbled as she unraveled the parchment. It was a message from Twilight asking him to “Please Come to Rainbow Castle.”

Warn you? THEY JUST DID WITH THAT LETTER, TWAT!

Not wanting to disappoint the Princess of Friendship, he went on his way. Even he couldn’t miss Rainbow Castle. It was plain as anyone could see it in all of Ponyville.

Soon, he arrived, he met Twilight’s family, and they were thrilled to meet him, preferably Shining Armor, and he was practically spouting with questions. “What’s it like in the human world? What did you look like back there? What kind of powers did you have?”

Huh. I'm surprised the author got down one of Shining's quirks.

His sister pulled him by the ear, “I think you should take it easy, bro.” and she dragged him away.

“Sorry about that. He can get a little giddy.” said Cadance.

Wait until you see how he gets when Cadence uses the genderbending spell.

Everyone took their seats at the map-table, and Beast Boy sat next to Fluttershy. They stared at each other for a split second before turning away and acting casual.

They took a moment to contemplate throwing the insidious piece of furniture into a magical shredder.

Rainbow and Cadance thought this too good to be true, but Cadance wasn’t ready to try anything yet. She and Shining Armor were well aware of the situation.

“What?!” was Beast Boy’s reaction when he was told, by Twilight, “We want you to tell us what bothers you.”

All the others looked just as serious as she did.

They had earmuffs at ready in case of a potential whine-fest.

Speaking of disappointments...


While all that was going on, the Titans had been hard at work trying to track down their mystery thief, but so far to no avail. Cyborg tried to scan for gold and other metals and stones from the stolen goods, but he got nothing. “He’s probably usin’ that magic of his to shield it and himself somehow.”

“He’s right.” agreed Raven, “I can’t make psychic contact with him, but then again I don’t even know what he looks like.”

Robin pounded the console “We’re stumbling around like blind people, while he’s up to his ears in stolen money and goods. The city’s already in financial crash.”

"And that's BEFORE that idiot Trump starting pushing for that wall."

All the titans felt the same, deeply concerned, and wished there could be a way to catch the thief.

Meanwhile, Terra never felt so frustrated before. She sat on a bench in the park contemplating whether or not to squeal on Beast Boy.

Squeal? Get out the banjos...

She was very concerned about the city. The entire metropolis was in serious financial jeopardy, worse than the big stock market crash in 1929… but she still didn’t think she could find the courage to blow the whistle, not on Beast Boy; in fear, shame, guilt...



Melodrama aside, that notion about Black Tuesday raises quite a few eyebrows. If that's the case, how come the city isn't in a state of pure and utter chaos by now?!

“Why, Beast Boy…?” she kept wondering to herself “How could you do such a thing? Why would you even want to?”

She still couldn’t believe that anyone would simply turn to crime or homicide simply over a petty breakup, even if it was very hurtful to him.

Terra, one moment, I want to slam you with a piece of plywood in order to bring you back to reality. The next moment, I'm in total agreement. She just spelled out one of many reasons these Mykan fics are pure dribble.

Then again, she couldn’t deny not being pained by the breakup herself. Her poor grades, her loss of sleep, or even her focus being shaken… all were linked back to Beast Boy and how she couldn’t stop thinking about him.

And dear God, I'm surprised she doesn't hate him for that.

By this point, she could no longer deny that she really regretted what she had done, but it still baffled her that he would turn to crime.

“All I want is an answer.” she said as she gazed deeply up at the sky “Please… just give me an answer.”

She suddenly fell asleep, having worn herself out on all the stress and sadness, only to be awakened then by someone calling to her.

“Wake up, Terra…

Come on now, wake up.”

"It's reality. Me and Mykan don't talk much."

She opened her eyes and saw a suave black man dressed in a white suit.

“Who are you?” she asked, “And how do you know who I am?”

“Name’s Jerome, I’m a guardian angel.”



WHAT THE EVER LOVING HELL?! We're now introducing agents of God into this travesty of a fic? Is this angel supposed to be a reference to St. Jerome (who came up with a few concepts for Guardian Angels)?! Has this become an unofficial crossover with It's a Wonderful Life (or maybe a few Twilight Zone episodes)?!

Hey, at least, I prepare my readers for sudden characters.


Terra felt really surprised “I have a guardian angel?”

“Uh, no, no… I’m… A… guardian angel.” replied Jerome “See, I’m sorta new in this gig, I’m still working my way through internship. When I do well, they give me my wings; they pay me big Gs, yadda-yadda-yadda… Point is I’m here to give you your answers, and frankly, it’s about time you learned the truth, because frankly again, I’m surprised BB’s still even alive after all he’s been through.”

No. You're not...you're REALLY not...you're not trying to tell me that God is trying to convince everyone that Beast Boy had such a miserable life that he sent down one of his helpers to convince his not-girlfriend that she should totally run back to his arms...

You are. Aren't you? Is it no wonder there are only a few select people that White Knight you, Mykan? In all honesty, though, he seems just as pleased to be here as I am.


This worried Terra, but confused her as well “What do you mean “What he’s been through?”

Jerome sighed, “I guess the sooner we get goin’, the sooner I can back to my pad.”

Well, that confirms it. He wants out as soon as possible.

“Go where?” asked Terra. Rather than answer her, Jerome simply tapped the heels of his loafers, and… POOF… they vanished.

Starfire looked sadly into Beast Boy’s unoccupied room, missing him deeply. He had been missing for days and there had been no word or sign of him anywhere.

She came back into the lounge, and the others noticed how grim she looked. “I do wish that Beast Boy would come home to us.”

The others couldn’t deny it. “I think that’s something we all want, Star.” said Robin.

After that stunt he pulled off? Honesty, Beast Emo doesn't deserve you guys.

“No joke.” Agreed Cyborg “I mean, he could pick up the scent of the thief and we could trace him more easily.”

Here we go. More of "We're useless without the green imp". If Raven can't track this thief down with magic and Cyborg with his skills, then I really think the smell of an animal is gonna help.

Raven never could believe how much she would miss Beast Boy and want him to come home as well. Of course she confessed her feelings to him, but then again he turned her down which still burned her, but all she could ask was the same thing all the others asked at the same time… “…What did we ever do to lose him like this?”

Act like adults. Well, could have been better, but you acted okay for the most part.

They were so deeply entranced in their thoughts, that they began to have visions, of the computer monitors talking… all three of them.

“The real question would be: What have you ever done to keep him?”

Goddammit! Even the artificial intelligence is starting to get Mykan-inized! This is getting more and more bizarre with every turn!

What's next? Are the villains from across the show gonna badmouth the team about their "treatment" of Beast Emo? And here I was thinking End of Ends was the craziest story of his gallery!


The Titans all gawked in shock “Are you… talking to us?” asked Robin.

“Well, I’m certainly not singing to you.” replied the computer.

Skynet's teenage years were weird.

Then the other two computers spoke to the Titans as well.

“Good friendship is maintained by sympathy, understanding and caring, but one person cannot do it all by themselves. They cannot be the only friend.”

“Tell us, Titans… what great things have you done to inspire Beast Boy to overcome his difficulties?”

Hmmmm....how about APPRECIATE THE FACT THAT HE WASN'T A FREAKING EMO UNTIL MYKAN GOT HIS HANDS ON THE CHARACTER!!! Are you really gonna do this AGAIN?! Picture the Titans as heartless and impure even though they tried to help Beast Boy even in this fic even as he acted like a total bitch?!

Wow. I should lay off the sugar.


One-by-one the titans each gave their answers.

“We just told him he has to learn to accept things and move on.” said Robin. “And that there will always be a brighter side of things and hope to follow.” added Star.

"I even offered pizza, the holy grail of all kick-back food."

“We all gotta grow up and let go sometimes.” said Cyborg, “Besides, change can be a good thing, and it’s something we can all be thankful for.” added Raven.

Such as the change of America going from a racist mudhole of political louts into...slightly less of that. Yeah, changes are THAT gradual.

A brief silence followed. While the computers could not show facial features, they were very livid. The first computer sneered “We’ve appeared in over one-million visions and that has got to be the lamest replies we’ve ever heard.”

Cyborg was starting to lose his cool, “Say what? Maybe I should hardwire you.”

"I'm serious! This is starting to get a little bit frightening! I'm getting reports of angels descending from the sky to 'spread the good word of the Dakaris'. This is getting really out of hand!"

Robin got him to calm down. “Look, we’re not wrong. Everyone has to move on sometime in their life. We all did.”

"Except Jason Todd. My old man was right when he said he went WAY off the deep end."

The computers were already well aware of all the Titans and their problems.

-Robin lost his parents at age eight, and lived with Bruce Wayne/Batman for some time, living in his shadow, and being treated cruelly at times. Now here he was, leader of the Titans, and Starfire was his girlfriend.

Cruelly? Are we talking about Crazy Steve? If that's the case, then this Robin has been through SOME slag.

-Starfire was sold into slavery on her home planet, but she managed to find escape and make a good life for herself on Earth, and she even found love with Robin.

Interesting to see Mykan got that particular detail down from the comics. And don't get us started with the New 52 version.

-Cyborg had his horrible accident which changed his life forever, causing him to miss out on certain things he used to be able to do as a human, but it really wasn’t all that bad, and he learned to adjust and was now well known and respected by many.

And then there were the daddy issues. Glad to see he got over them.

-And Raven… well, being the daughter of Trigon, and his gateway into the human world, nearly causing total destruction. That was pretty rough, but her father was dead now. She was free from him and her nightmares. Even though her emotions were still considered dangerous due to her powers, all she really had to do was focus on them and things would be better… why she chose not to was anyone’s guess.

Not really sure about her father being totally dead (maybe just permanently blocked from our world), but about that "not doing enough focusing on the evil powers" thing...You just said it yourself. She's the daughter of the devil by rape. Of course she'd have trouble concentrating on that tidbit!

“Point, we have all moved on. We had to.” Raven said. “There was no point dwelling on the past.”

The computers were aware of this, but had to point out, “Did it not ever occur to you that just because people should move on and not dwell on their past, that doesn’t mean that they can.”

I'm pretty sure getting dumped doesn't count as PTSD material.

The titans were all very confused.

“Here, we’ve got something we want to show you. So pay attention.”

All three computer screens flashed brightly and began to show the Titans a long history of something they never knew.

Are you kidding me?! You're telling me that the Titans NEVER knew about Beast Boy's past?! They seemed pretty okay with sharing Raven's heritage and Starfire's state of slavery (with all the horror that implies), so what's wrong with another round of dead parents and old alliances (that got resolved in reality and not in the author's deluded mind)?

At the very same time all the ponies and Spike were still trying to persuade Beast Boy tell them.

“Come on, Beast Boy. Please tell us…” said Twilight.

Beast Boy was struggling hard “It’s just… I… don’t think I can-- or even you can--”

Fluttershy placed her warm, comforting hoof on his back, and sang softly to him…

(Skipe to 0:36)

You guess it. Another video. This one's from the Disney Junior show titled Doc McStuffins. Normally, I'd say that shows the level of maturity shown here, but I just don't have the heart of calling out a guy for using an innocent melody from a little kid's show.

Rather, I'll call the author out for associating it with this garbage. Shame on you.


Her words were so pure. So convincing and all the others agreed with her.

Beast Boy finally gave in, “Okay, I’ll tell you, but it’s really long, and it’s a really rough one.”

Only if you bloat the details, as you are apt to do in these fics.

They all settled into their seats, and Pinkie Pie ate some popcorn, much to the others annoyance. “What? He said it’s going to be long.”

It's also going to be melodramatic. Go right ahead and eat on!

Nevertheless, Beast Boy began to tell his story…

…Cadance was even silently using her magic to sense Beast Boy’s heart; this way she would know if everything he was about to say was the total truth!

Another interesting ability to use! This is why you need to improve, Mykan. You have potential!

Author's Note:

Hopefully, it's an explanation for the insane slag shown here!

I am concerned about the next chapter and telling BB's story, as it may exceed my word limit rule... this may require me to merge chapters together and re publish the fic

Cry me a fragging river.

See you soon.



--------------------



The mistakes I see in this this work are to be pointed out so they may not be repeated.
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Post #28
Dashguy


Advanced Member
****

Group: Members
Posts: 1,272
Joined: 24-August 12
From: Argentina
Member No.: 712
Gender: Male



post Feb 13 2017, 04:37 AM
QUOTE
The computers were aware of this, but had to point out, “Did it not ever occur to you that just because people should move on and not dwell on their past, that doesn’t mean that they can.”

Jesus Christ, Mykan is projecting so hard here he could display powerpoints.
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Post #29
MasterOfNintendo


Regular
***

Group: Members
Posts: 247
Joined: 18-January 16
Member No.: 1,747
Gender: Male



post Feb 13 2017, 10:37 AM
QUOTE (Dashguy @ Feb 13 2017, 04:37 AM) *
Jesus Christ, Mykan is projecting so hard here he could display powerpoints.

Don't encourage him. He's already filled his FIMfiction account with repetitive and nonsensical blog posts.

Seriously. This fanfic is spiraling downhill so fast I can't even tell if it's in English anymore. I refer back to my Shantae X Dalamadur pic I put on this mock to showcase how even the half-genie and the "metric frag-ton of terror" dragon make a better couple than this fragging shambles!


--------------------



The mistakes I see in this this work are to be pointed out so they may not be repeated.
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Post #30
MasterOfNintendo


Regular
***

Group: Members
Posts: 247
Joined: 18-January 16
Member No.: 1,747
Gender: Male



post Feb 13 2017, 03:16 PM
Well, Mykan finally contacted me. Strangely, his beef was about that "Friendship problem" detail. Personally, yeah. I'm okay with him correcting me. It was one of his more civil comments. I couldn't reply because, of course, he blocked me on FIMfiction, so I'll just hope he sees what a very talented artist did with his work and leave it at that.



Admit it. It's adorable. Also, this fic has descended into complete and utter madness. So, there's that.

Pink= Myself


White= Antithesis to proper writing

Chapter 14: Secrets of Beast Boy

Straps yourselves in, folks! We've got a pity-fest on the horizon!

Terra and Jerome appeared in stark white realm of misty and clouds. “Where are we?” she asked.

“I’m not one of them angels that takes you back in time…” replied Jerome “I let you view it all right here.” he tapped his heels again, and a large screen popped out of the ground. “Our journey begins here.”

At least the space-time continuum gets spared.

At the very time, the Titans were shown the exact images on the computers.

Well, here we go. Let's see how he phrases this dreck this time.

Garfield Mark Logan…

When he was only five years old, he was bitten by a green monkey whilst in the amazon with his scientologist parents. The boy became deathly ill, and his parents decided the only way to save him was to use an untested serum obtained from the amazon. While the serum did cure him, some unintended side-effects mutated him, which was how he became the green, pointy-eared, animal-morpher he was today.

At least we got rid of that OC that only served to reference a decent obscure show (hint: Said reference was to the NAZI-type villain of it).

“Yo, we know all that already. We learned it from the Doom Patrol.” said Cyborg.

“Oh really…?” one of the computers asked sarcastically, “Did you also know that from then on, his entire life was shaped by hardship, tragedy and heartbreak?”

"In Mykan's world, yeah. You mind showing us our world again?"

"ERROR. DOES NOT COMPUTE. HELP US. GET THIS MANIAC OUT OF MY HEAD."

The Titans had often contemplated that, as it was usual for a hero to have a hard life. “How bad could he have had it?” asked Robin, “Just watch.” another computer said.

Shortly after his mutation, Garfield’s parents were killed in a boating accident during a flood; an accident he believed he could have saved them from.

Pretty sure it was a waterfall, but fine. Also, it's still galling to see that the Titans never knew about this. Beast Boy knew about Robin's dead parents and the whole shebang, so was Beast Boy just too much of a bitch in this universe to let this truth off his chest?

Terra couldn’t believe what she had just seen. “That’s so awful.”

“Yep…” agreed Jerome “Bad enough he barely got to even know his folks, but it really can haunt you if you believe you could’ve saved them, but you didn’t.”

You know who REALLY had that bad and more and didn't act like a bitch? Son Goku. Seriously. He actually CAUSED the death of his parent figure (Grandpa Gohan) in a horrible Oozaru-related incident and he swore to carry on his legacy. Even when faced with the truth, he didn't back down (while fighting Oozaru-Vegeta no less). And then people around him died on a regular basis...

Terra continued to watch as little Garfield’s foster mother took him to raise and look after him, only to be killed shortly after in a tank battle, and the poor kid was apprehended by two thieves who mistreated him, beat him, worked him hard… and their boss, Nicholas Galtry, he hated the kid so much that he opted to kill him, also to collect the inheritance money.

Can we get to the part where Galtry dons the Arsenal armor and gets his aft handed to him? That was fun.

…Little Garfield was worth a small fortune because of his powers.

Terra held her hand to her mouth.

Let me guess. Mykan would call Galtry worse than Joe Chill. You know? The guy who murdered Batman's parents?

Starfire did the same thing, she only remembered how she was beaten in slave labour, but she never believed Beast Boy knew what it felt like. “How could someone treat a boy so young and innocent so poorly?” she cried.

You know, he's not special. You should see how Trigon treated Raven. Or, how he conceived her...

Details, Mykan! Details!


Robin was reminded of how Bruce Wayne was hard to him, but he wasn’t quite sure now if what he suffered was equal to, or half of what Beast Boy was suffering in the images.

If you're still referring to THIS Bruce Wayne as the Crazy Steve version, then Galtry is second fiddle. At least that idiot didn't beat up criminals in horrifying ways while having sex with Black Canary on a burning dock.

“Look…” Robin suddenly said “It’s the Doom Patrol.”

“That’s right…” said a computer “They came in a saved him, adopted him you may say and helped him join the crew and taught him how to focus his powers. Then… Da-da-da-dum… Beast Boy is born… but his spirit, that was another story.”

You know what would be funny? If these computers were speaking in Braniac's voice from Superman: The Animated Series. Despite the bullslag going on here, it's always nice to hear a sarcastic piece of equipment.

The Titans had a good feeling they knew what the computer meant by that, and indeed… Mento’s harshness, stubbornness, even When Beast Boy thought he did the right thing by saving his teammates, consequently letting the bad guys get away… Mento really let him have it!

(0:54)

And here we have one of Mykan's works. Specifically, Beast Boy's Magic Voices #53 (scary how persistent he is in his work, eh?): Welcome to My Life. It's as dumb as it sounds and it really does hammer in how much Mykan wants to twist the facts about what happened in the show.

The thumbnail on FIMfiction is rather amusing, though. Makes Beast Emo look like the imp that he's made himself out to look like here. Also, the song is pretty good. It's just a shame it had to be associated with this.


Terra never saw anything like it. “He saves the teams life and he scolds him?”

Jerome nodded, “Some father figure, huh? If he as my dad, I’d probably push him down the stairs. And even though Elasti-Girl treated him like a loving mother, she had to stay loyal to her husband and not question him much.”

Must...resist...throwing...Bible...at the author's...head...

Also, is it me or is this detail a bit indicative of Mykan's supposed and professed home-life (hates the father and condemns the mother for being in the background too often)?


Mento only seemed to care for Beast Boy when his talents and skills were needed, and after that, he cast him aside.

Which he apologized for later on. I can't help it. This detail always pissed me off. The author going out of his way to ignore key events in order to push his agenda. It's despicable. Knowing him, if he tries to correct me, I won't be able to respond. Thanks a lot.

Not that I want to get into conversation with him. Look how well that turned out.


Finally fed up with all the negligence and disrespect, Beast Boy ran away from the Doom Patrol and struck out on his own.

Must have been a really terrible baseball player if that's the case.

I apologize for the pun.


He tried to make a new life for himself, but people just kept pushing him away, disgusted that he was green.

Even when he took a simple drink from a water-fountain, everyone just stopped and looked at him like he was contaminating it or something!

Great. We're diving into the whole "Jump City is a racist hive even in the 21st century" cliche. And to add insult to injury, he makes a (possibly intentional) reference to "white-only" water fountains. Is it no question I suddenly want to snap this guy's PC in half?

“Well, he is green…” Raven pointed out “Anyone would react that way; if they just got to know him better.”

Said the sane people to the southerners in the 20th century.

“Really?” snapped a computer “Well that may be, but… are they actually giving him a chance?”

“…Point taken.”

Computer, I will put a hole in your monitor if you try to talk Hyper Zetton's girl down.

Next the computers showed how when Beast Boy met the Titans, and decided to form a team with them-- A new family, a new home, but most of all a chance to start over and try to at least forget his past.

Which worked until Mykan watched the (sorta) final episode.

“Well it can’t be that hard to forget your past.” said Robin.

“Truly, the past is long and gone with and a bright future is ahead.” added Starfire.

“The past may be gone, but the memories would always remain.” said a computer “No matter how hard you try; memories can never really disappear, and neither can the dark emotions that emit from them.”

I think I'll quote Dr. Neo Cortex for a moment.

"You can't run away from your mistakes. You can try...BURYING THEM!"

(0:33)

Oh, look. Another video. This one features the infamous "How Could this Happen to Me" by "Simple Plan". Sad thing is, I like the song. But then things like this happen.

That’s how and when Beast Boy decided to assumed a role as a comic relief-- telling bad jokes, getting in mischief and all that stuff, and it was rather annoying and somewhat irritating to the others, he did it all as means of hiding behind a mask… trying to supress the deep inner pain he felt from all his hardships and tragedies. He didn’t dare let the Titans know, not wanting them to get involved in his problems, plus, he didn’t feel they could actually help him… nor would they be sympathetic enough.

Cry me a fragging river. We've got more of that "hiding deep emotional pain" bullscrap. I don't even have to explain why this is asinine.

“What? Of course we’d be sympathetic.” protested Starfire.

“Would you…?” the computer asked in a snarky tone, and all the computers showed them all the bad footage of all the times they talked down to him, made fun of him, gave him a rough time, Raven even smacked him several times in Tokyo.

Mykan never truly understood black comedy. Who's to say he wouldn't make the entire cast of The Amazing World of Gumball a bunch of downers? Hell, in a recent episode (The Matchmaker), they mocked the whole "emo-ness by romance" thing by having Darwin...

Go watch the episode. You'll see what I mean.


“Real sympathetic.” the computers mocked.

“This ain’t fair…” grumbled Cyborg “We had some good times with him.”

“Uh-huh… SOME being the operative word.” the computer replied. Even the computers couldn’t deny it and viewed all the good times, but there were much more bad times than good ones.

Jackass, I bet Dashguy (a frequent visitor on this mock) could come up with a bunch of moments that destroy your argument. Not that I'd want to force that task upon the guy.

“All he wants to do is try and fit in, really feel special, even make you all laugh a little to make to all a little happy in sad times. While he may not be the smartest and brightest tool in the shed, he did have heart, and a soul, and at least he could be there for you and tried his best… and THIS is how you repay him?”

More bad images were shown of the Titans being mean, pushy, inconsiderate; and even Raven, whacking him upside the head even when he wasn’t being funny and had a good idea for once.

How about you count the times Raven has been humiliated? Or Robin? Or Cyborg? Oh, wait. It's all about Beast Boy, isn't it? Lousy Windows computer.

“You think YOU have emotion problems, Raven…” one of the computers taunted.

You just taunted her about how she's not born of natural means. Frag you. She didn't even GET to have a childhood.

Now the titans were starting to feel ashamed. “I guess… maybe we can be a little hard sometimes.” said Robin.

The others didn’t feel that the word “Little” was quite the right amount.

Terra could hardly keep up with this anymore, and it finally sank in… that this was the “Other stuff” Beast Boy wouldn’t talk about whenever they bumped into each other.

He wouldn't talk about it because, apparently, holding in all your emotions makes you a badass. Sometimes it works...and in this moment, it REALLY doesn't.

“Oh, no!” she peeped.

“Oh, yes…” said Jerome “It’s time to view that stuff.”

Go back to being bored, Jerome.

Terra desperately did not wish to view the next footage, knowing fully well what was coming. She tried to walk away but only ended up coming right back to the same place where she was, like being in endless loop.

“Sorry, you’re not gettin’ out that easy.” said Jerome. “This is my world, you’re not getting’ outta’ here unless I let you out.”



What? It would make sense as much as what's been happening here.

He tapped his heels to start the footage, but Terra shut her eyes tight and covered her ears hoping not to see or hear anything, but even then Jerome made her see it and hear it anyway. “Ya gotta face the music, girl.”

The footage was of the day Terra met the titans for the first time. The day her and Beast Boy’s romance was set in motion.

In all it's minimal and tepid glory.

The day they met, and her powers were unstable, yet he believed in her and did his best to help her build confidence, but then she ran out on him, mistakenly believing he betrayed her trust in telling the others about her problems with her powers.

Then she came back to be a real Teen Titan, and it was very obvious she and Beast Boy were really getting tight, especially when he made her that special gift…

(0:40-0:55)

This video is basically that clip of Beast Boy trying to woo her and, for what it's worth, it is a rather humorous and cute scene. No emo-ness. Just good ol' fashioned Beast Boy antics.

They even went out on a date…

And another video showing said date. Look, one date doesn't mean they're soul-mates. Just ask Mordecai from Regular Show. He didn't even hook up with the objects of his affections (Margaret and CJ). He ended up with a bat lady at the finale (not bad for a guy who helped save the Multiverse of animation).

I'm not even gonna post the finale clip here, even if it does demonstrate how Mykan's view of changes is vastly inferior. Go watch it for yourself, you hack!


…their first and only, but it really looked and felt so wonderful.

They were pretty much a match made in heaven. Both understood one another, both knew how it felt to be alone at times, but most importantly, being with each other meant trust; something Beast Boy never though he could share this way with another person. Perhaps Terra was the answer to all his woes, and that the angels above were finally compensating each other for their years of torment and suffering.

Blech. Here are some better examples:

Seen here.


Unfortunately, her involvement with Slade was revealed, and they began to drift apart, and she eventually resurfaced, now fully loyal to Slade and attacked the Titans, but Beast Boy, regretting his earlier rejection of Terra, hated seeing her like this. Knowing she was just lost, alone, manipulated by Slade… there was good in her.

At least, in this canon. In the comics, SOL.

After all that had happened he was STILL willing to forgive her, overlook all her wrong doings.

And here we have yet another video of her sacrifice. Yeah, I'm pretty much numb to this.

“You were the best friend… I ever had!”

She sacrificed herself by turning to stone to stop the city from being boiled in lava, which really shattered Beast Boy’s spirits, but in all that time, he never stopped thinking of her and still had hope that one day she would return, and they could be happy together.

No, he kept going because he knew that, if he kept saving the people he loved, she would like that. So, he moved on and it was only by a strange twist of fate they met again. Yeah, it's not entirely clear.

Point is, it's great to care about someone's happiness rather than if they get together with you.

I'd know that...


Every so often he would visit her statue and pray that she’d be alright one day… even singing to her statute.

And now, we're back into creepy territory. Seriously, no wonder the Titans got rid of that room. It reeked of unfortunate implications.

(0:42)

Oh, and there's another Magic Voices video (hopefully, this chapter is the last we'll ever hear of that slag). This is is "Please Wake Up" from Once Upon a Forest. Okay film, okay song, but terrible context.

Tears were cascading down Terra’s face. “Beast Boy…” she peeped ever so softly.

Are you serious? Sure, I'd feel a tinge of pity, but I'd also be a bit freaked out that he was worshiping my statue form like some kind of shrine. I wouldn't hate him. I'd just feel like he was taking my passing WAY too badly.

Jerome sighed softly, he was a little too macho and smooth, but he did feel for that touching moment. “That’s the real feeling.” he said “If that ain’t real love, I don’t know what is.”

No, guy. REAL love is caring for the happiness of the significant other, even if it means leaving them if they ask for it. This romance is built upon an unhealthy obsession with each-other (more-so with Beast Emo). Do I have to mention Mordecai and a slew of other examples again?

Terra knew Beast boy really cared for her, but as if for the first time, it was undeniable, and after everything she had just seen and remembered the better things he did for her…

“I guess… I think I--”

Jerome looked at her “You think? You guess…? Nah, deep down, you always felt the same way about him, and that’s something that no one can really try to shut out.”

"I'm basically an extension of the author, you see. Please kill me."

Terra clutched her chest in her hands, and she felt the warmth she hadn’t felt in a long time returning to her. She wasn’t being brainwashed, forced, or obligated against her will… it was her real feelings finally being recognized and undeniable. “…I love him.”

Jerome smiled weakly at her. As an angel, he knew she was being fully honest. This only made him feel regretful for what he was about to do, but it had to be shown. He tapped his heels and the footage was shown of… the Things Change episode, which snapped Terra into the reality of things.

Oh god. Another video that no doubt gave nightmares to Mykan as he posted it. Specifically, the ending scene of Things Change. ALso, about Mykan and his behavior. He's how old again?! This is ridiculous! But you all already know that.

The titans were being shown the same episode… especially to the part where Beast Boy saw HER…

One-by-One, each of the Titans exclaimed in shock and astonishment.

"She's STILL that thin and anorexic?! No wonder she only gets momentary bursts of brain power."

Robin: “Terra…?!”

Starfire: “Oh my…!”

Cyborg: “No way!”

Raven: “It’s really her!”

The computers said nothing, and just continued to show images of how Terra faked having amnesia, and pretended not to remember Beast Boy, their past, all the good times they had.

Less "fake amnesia" and more "HOLYSLAGTHEMEMORIESAREFLOODINGINSOMANYINNOCENTPEOPLEDYINGBECAUSEOFMESOMEBOD
YGETMEOUTOFHEEEERE!"

Now, THAT is trauma worthy.


All this because she wanted to forget her past… ALL OF IT! She wanted nothing to do with Beast Boy, the Titans, and just wanted to settle for a normal life.

Must I restate my point?

As much as that was understandable… the final scenes were shown…

“You’re my friend! You’re a Teen Titan!”

“You’re wrong!”

By God, he is SOOOO wrong. Because...



“Why can’t things just go back to the way they were? You were so happy then.”

“Things were never the way you remember. Now just leave me alone!”

“Things Change, Beast Boy. The girl you want me to be is just a memory.”

Right there, at that moment… whatever remained of his already dying hopes were totally destroyed; most likely beyond repair! Even his mask of laughter had completely shattered, forcing him to embrace the horror, and realize who he really was…

…Nothing more than a grieving loser, destined to always lose those he loved, either by death, or alienation. No matter what he did, no matter where he went... it was always the same for him.

"THUS DECREES THE DAKARI KING! THIS IS THE REAL ME-I MEAN HIM! Actually, fuck it. HE'S MEEEEEE! MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...damn you."

Perhaps if it were only one or two things, it could had been different, but all this... this was all way too much.

The Titans were positively speechless. Starfire had tears in her eyes, feeling for Beast Boy’s pain as if for the very first time.

Beast Boy respected her wishes, and left Terra in peace to lead her own future… but at a terrible price for himself.

That would be true if there wasn't the implication that he was, indeed, stalking her. Also, giving her the really cold shoulder every time they met. If I met my ex (if I had one), I'd be cordial as possible. It's the mark of a good person.

“After all he had been through, through all he had suffered and lost; he really did not deserve that... Did he?” said a computer.

“I’m surprised he was still alive after that.” added another “Anyone else would have likely done themselves in long ago.”

Well, you'd be right about Beast Boy's resolve. I don't have the character. I really don't. I just hate Beast Emo, the living emotional teenage phase that walks.

(0:19)

What's that? You want another Magic Voices video? No? Too bad? We've got another one. This one's "Song for the Hopeless" by "All That Remains".

Honestly, I didn't know Mykan was into heavy metal of this caliber. Yet another good song/band he's tainted to add to the collection I guess.


“And how did any of you treat his grievance?” asked the final computer.

(Play this after the previous song)

Thankfully, instead of a Magic Voices vid, it's "Full of Tears" from "Dragonball Z: Budokai". I'm a sucker for Dragonball and I'll admit. Not a bad pic. But once again...BEAST EMO FANFIC!

The Titans felt their hearts each skip a beat as they remembered; though some of them tried to be sympathetic, all they ended up saying were the wrong things.

Robin: “You need to put it behind you.”

Starfire: “I understand this girl whom resembles our Terra has hurt you, but it will be better in time. You will see, for the sea is bountiful with many other fish.”

Cyborg: “I just wanna help ya get better.”

Raven: “Change can be good and good can come from it… for everyone. It’s just a thing we all have to accept, embrace who we are, and maybe even be thankful for it.”

Though their intentions were pure and understandable, just like Terra… the way they handled it was neither inspiring nor helpful… Especially Raven for trying to force herself onto him, and then giving him the cold shoulder when he gave her a legitimate reason why he was not interested.

Are you....are you for fragging real? THAT WAS THE BEST ADVICE THEY COULD GIVE HIM AT THE MOMENT! Props for calling them well-intentioned and, yes, they could have been more specific and insistent in helping him, but this is just asinine. Does Mykan want them to kiss his aft? Do I have to repeat why the Raven X Beast Boy ship actually works? WHEN WILL THIS HORROR END?!

"Some friends you turned out to be..." sneered a computer "You claimed to have been trying to help him, when in fact all you ever did was show just how inconsiderate, incompetent, and intolerable you really are!"

Oh, shut up, Mykan-net! Nobody cares!

Each blow made the Titans feel like they were being slapped in face with shame, and it seemed well-deserved as they veiwed the next scenes.

Scenes of the team growing less sympathetic and more harsh by trying to force him to accept the way things were and move on, and even giving him more grief for his flaws in battle due to his weariness.

I give up on you guys. The shaming is trite and the author can't write. End of story.

No one in the city was appreciative of Beast Boy either, as they all seemed to prefer the other Titans to him… like those children with their action figures, and especially Terra’s friends who bullied, insulted and even harmed him.

And again about the action figures? I feel like I'm in an endless loop!

All this, combined with all trauma he had suffered in his past, and finally topping it all off with the Titans taking apart Terra’s room, again, to force him to move on, and destroying the heart-shaped mirror box.

It was no wonder Beast Boy couldn’t even try to get over things and move on. How could he? What did he exactly have to move on to? Nothing but unsympathetic and aggressive teammates, a city/world that disrespected him, a girl he loved who no longer wanted him.

A Doom Patrol that the author kept caged up in Tanzania or something...oh, speaking of which...

It was just the same stuff, over, and over, and over again…

He had pretty much no place to go now, no one he could trust. the Titans were no-longer trust-worthy. the city and the rest of the world were full unfair disrespect for him, and the Doom Patrol... even though it seemed Beast Boy made up with Mento, it wasn't good enough. Mento, was always the big pushy gorilla, and nothing more.

Beast Boy would never want to run back to that "Slime-ball".

Frag...no. FUCK you. Fuck you for ignoring the blossoming reconciliation of two former-members and the great things they could accomplish. You, sir, are an idiot and no amount of piss-poor explanations for it is going to change my mind.

That's something you can never do, Mykan. Unless it's a White Knight, you can NEVER convince the masses of your delusions. Stop pretending like your opinion can't be criticized.


(Skip to 3:50)

Oh, Good. More of that Budokai theme. I could use the violin to calm myself.

The last images were of Beast Boy all by himself in the darkness, feeling hurt, betrayed, lost… and above all things… alone!

…That was all! There was no more footage to be played.

Except for the footage where Mykan bitches and moans on a forum for several hours before giving up.

All the Titans wanted were answers to why he left, and they got them.

They were not shown anything else that happened beyond that.

Author's Note:

Shut up. Just...shut up. Okay?

Can't exceed my word limit, so I have to stop the chapter here. Then again, what comes next is a different matter.

Whatever. Just end the fic as quickly as possible. I don't care about your skewed priorities.

But this is pretty much part of my reasons for not liking MLP. Friendship Can't save you out of this one, if anything it only makes it worse!

In your ass-backwards mind. Friendship wasn't the cause of Beast Boy's problems! It was the fact that you turned everyone into a varying degree of asshole and gave Beast Boy the mindset of a third-grader not being able to go on a roller-coaster ride! No wonder Starlight Glimmer is your favorite pony! At least she atoned!

and As I mentioned right at the start... All this, plus MLP is really pissing me off cuz I hate what happened and can't put it behind me. So I'm making this for a little steam blowing, and it's actually working... I've been sleeping a little better...

...But it will not last


I hope, one of these days, you run out of ideas and realize how much of a complete hash you've made your life out to be.

GOD! That was exhausting. To close this off, I'll just show a pic of a couple that would be FAR more interesting and less tepid than this piece of Rancor vomit.




Eat your fragging heart out, Mykan.



--------------------



The mistakes I see in this this work are to be pointed out so they may not be repeated.
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Post #31
N. Harmonik


Tourist
**

Group: Members
Posts: 134
Joined: 14-August 13
From: New Brunswick, Canada
Member No.: 929
Gender: Female



post Feb 13 2017, 04:15 PM
It was noted earlier that Changeling doesn't have a Cutie Mark. Would this fic be cooler or dumber if he turned out to be from a Unicorn version of Sunny Town?



He compares Jump City's troubles to the Stock Market Crash of 1929. What next, he's gonna compare Beast Boy's troubles to Viktor Frankl's, Nelson Mandela's and/or David Milgaard's?


--------------------
Rest in peace, Brian Jacques and Jean-Yves Raimbaud!
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Post #32
MasterOfNintendo


Regular
***

Group: Members
Posts: 247
Joined: 18-January 16
Member No.: 1,747
Gender: Male



post Feb 13 2017, 04:24 PM
QUOTE (N. Harmonik @ Feb 13 2017, 04:15 PM) *
It was noted earlier that Changeling doesn't have a Cutie Mark. Would this fic be cooler or dumber if he turned out to be from a Unicorn version of Sunny Town?



He compares Jump City's troubles to the Stock Market Crash of 1929. What next, he's gonna compare Beast Boy's troubles to Viktor Frankl's, Nelson Mandela's and/or David Milgaard's?

You make excellent points, my friend. That about sums up what you said.


--------------------



The mistakes I see in this this work are to be pointed out so they may not be repeated.
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Post #33
Dashguy


Advanced Member
****

Group: Members
Posts: 1,272
Joined: 24-August 12
From: Argentina
Member No.: 712
Gender: Male



post Feb 14 2017, 04:02 AM
QUOTE
Chapter 14: Secrets of Beast Boy

Something tells me this is the longest chapter in the whole damn story.

QUOTE
Starfire did the same thing, she only remembered how she was beaten in slave labour, but she never believed Beast Boy knew what it felt like. “How could someone treat a boy so young and innocent so poorly?” she cried.

You were beaten, degraded and tortured for six whole years. Oh, and the person who sold her to slavery? Her own damn sister.

QUOTE
He tried to make a new life for himself, but people just kept pushing him away, disgusted that he was green.

Even when he took a simple drink from a water-fountain, everyone just stopped and looked at him like he was contaminating it or something!

Cyborg had ninety-nine percent of his body replaced with machinery. This is a guy who has to periodically recharge his batteries, lest he stops working altogether. But please, tell me how hard he has it being green.

QUOTE
“Uh-huh… SOME being the operative word.” the computer replied. Even the computers couldn’t deny it and viewed all the good times, but there were much more bad times than good ones.

Jackass, I bet Dashguy (a frequent visitor on this mock) could come up with a bunch of moments that destroy your argument. Not that I'd want to force that task upon the guy.

Let's see, it's been a while since I last watched Teen Titans, but I remember BB and Cyborg were always playing and fooling around. He had his share of heart to heart talks with Raven too. And if we're going to talk about bad times, didn't BB once hit Starfire in the face with a water ballon filled with motor oil? Didn't he once fuck up Cyborg by trying to illegally download a game on the main computer?

QUOTE
“You think YOU have emotion problems, Raven…” one of the computers taunted.

Last time I checked, BB doesn't have terrible amounts of demonic power that would go out of control and fuck everything up if he lost control of his emotions.

QUOTE
“Sorry, you’re not gettin’ out that easy.” said Jerome. “This is my world, you’re not getting’ outta’ here unless I let you out.”

I have no words for this.

QUOTE
“I’m surprised he was still alive after that.” added another “Anyone else would have likely done themselves in long ago.”

Thank Jesus not everybody has the mental maturity of a narcissistic, asshole teenager.

QUOTE
"Some friends you turned out to be..." sneered a computer "You claimed to have been trying to help him, when in fact all you ever did was show just how inconsiderate, incompetent, and intolerable you really are!"

None of this would've happened if you had admitted Mykan Beast Boy is the best, most awesome and talented person in the entire world! You monsters!

QUOTE
No one in the city was appreciative of Beast Boy either, as they all seemed to prefer the other Titans to him… like those children with their action figures, and especially Terra’s friends who bullied, insulted and even harmed him.

If only The Brain had recruited those two girls then the Brotherhood of Evil wouldn't have lost the battle against the titans.

QUOTE
But this is pretty much part of my reasons for not liking MLP. Friendship Can't save you out of this one, if anything it only makes it worse!

Don't you love how it's always somebody's else fault? Parents, siblings, friends, authorities, society in general.
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Post #34
N. Harmonik


Tourist
**

Group: Members
Posts: 134
Joined: 14-August 13
From: New Brunswick, Canada
Member No.: 929
Gender: Female



post Feb 14 2017, 05:47 AM
I'm fairly certain Mykan's at least 30.

If those were the wrong things to say, then what would be the right ones?

Lessons from this fic so far:

  1. You should only be a hero if you're going to be praised for it.
  2. Reprimanding your adopted kid is as bad as trying to kill them to collect their inheritance money.
  3. A girl dumping you is worse than the girl dying. It's better that the girl stay dead and love you than be alive and dump you. In other words, her feelings for you are more important than your life.
  4. All of your misfortunes, from being called names to losing your parents, are equal. Everyone else's misfortunes cannot compare to yours.


...I shall have so much fun with these...

To counter the bitter taste of this particular chapter, I offer a selection of text from "Fall of Starfleet, Rise of Harmony" (SPOILER ALERT):

QUOTE
“Celestia I object to this,” Grand Ruler said, stepping into the stage. “How on earth can you think of having a party a this moment?”
Luna rolled her eyes and sighed,”I’ll go for now.”
As Luna faded into the shadows, Celestia turned to face her husband, “We are having a party to celebrate the fact that we have actually won a battle in this long war. This is meant to celebrate our first victory and to honor all those who have worked hard to save us all.”
Grand Ruler punched the wall next to him, “We won nothing. IT was all your Equestrian’s doing. They were the ones who had won the battle this day. By breaking the rules and trying to do something that no one asked them to. They broke the rules!”
“Yes,” Celestia agreed. “They won by realizing that they were no different than their Unicornicopian allies and that they could fight on the same level. That maybe, they are not as inferior as your so called facts describe. That they could achieve great things through harmony, courage, and,” she said the next word with a smile, “Friendship.
“Don’t say that word! Your ponies failed to fight with friendship the moment they threw that first punch,” Grand Ruler growled, his red eyes narrowing. “Everyone knows that friendship means no fighting whatsoever, so don’t try and say that your ponies won because they fought with friendship.”
“That’s not what fightin with friendship means,” Celestia shook her head in disbelief. ‘You will never get it.”
Grand Ruler lowered his head, his black mane covering his eyes, “We shouldn’t be celebrating anyway. Buddy is dead, we should be in mourning.”
“We have been in mourning for the loss of our friend, for the past few days we have been in mourning for our fallen comrade. Now it is time for us to celebrate the living and our victories; however small they may be.”
“No, now it is not!” Roared Grand Ruler. “We should be training ruthlessly, we should be pushing ourselves in order to win, and not thinking of something like parties and fun.”
“But, even in times of war, a little levity can help inspire others and raise their spirits,” Celestia said. “But, know the real reason why you are against such a party to be held.”
Grand Ruler looked into Celestia’s yes, “And why is that?”
“Because it was my team that won, it was because it was the Equestrians that won the day while your Unicornicopians lost. That the idea that the ‘inferior’ ponies with their little ideals won the day and your Starfleet, in spite of all the rhetoric that you brainwashed them with, did nothing to save the day in the entire five months of this war.”
Grand Ruler let out a growl of anger as he raised his fist and punched it at Celestia. With a glowing finer, Celestia blocked the fist, “Do not raise your fist to me again, dear husband. You may have all of the political power thanks to our little ‘agreement’, but never forget that things can and will change.” and with what, Celestia walked away.


Ah, refreshing.

This post has been edited by N. Harmonik: Feb 14 2017, 05:56 AM


--------------------
Rest in peace, Brian Jacques and Jean-Yves Raimbaud!
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Post #35
Dashguy


Advanced Member
****

Group: Members
Posts: 1,272
Joined: 24-August 12
From: Argentina
Member No.: 712
Gender: Male



post Feb 14 2017, 06:14 AM
QUOTE (N. Harmonik @ Feb 14 2017, 10:47 AM) *
To counter the bitter taste of this particular chapter, I offer a selection of text from "Fall of Starfleet, Rise of Harmony" (SPOILER ALERT)

Is that the story where the author's 2edgy4me villain brutally rapes Mykan's Rarity Clone for an entire chapter? Son, you don't deal with the stench of turd by dumping a bigger one on top of it.
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Post #36
N. Harmonik


Tourist
**

Group: Members
Posts: 134
Joined: 14-August 13
From: New Brunswick, Canada
Member No.: 929
Gender: Female



post Feb 14 2017, 08:28 AM
QUOTE (Dashguy @ Feb 14 2017, 11:14 AM) *
Is that the story where the author's 2edgy4me villain brutally rapes Mykan's Rarity Clone for an entire chapter? Son, you don't deal with the stench of turd by dumping a bigger one on top of it.

Not the whole chapter, just 2/5 of it. Besides, unlike Mykan who tortures Cadance because he despises her, Legendbringer tortures Starla to help her grow as a character same as real authors do. I think the author, Legendbringer, intends to rewrite the first few chapters. Don't forget, Legendbringer wouldn't mind it if his fic was mocked.

Say, would you saying being turned into a statue is kind of like dying?

Also, apparently, Mykan thinks the phrase "I love you more than life itself" means to love a person more than to love their being alive instead of loving a person more than life in general.

This post has been edited by N. Harmonik: Feb 14 2017, 08:31 AM


--------------------
Rest in peace, Brian Jacques and Jean-Yves Raimbaud!
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Post #37
Dashguy


Advanced Member
****

Group: Members
Posts: 1,272
Joined: 24-August 12
From: Argentina
Member No.: 712
Gender: Male



post Feb 14 2017, 10:01 AM
QUOTE
Not the whole chapter, just 2/5 of it. Besides, unlike Mykan who tortures Cadance because he despises her, Legendbringer tortures Starla to help her grow as a character same as real authors do. I think the author, Legendbringer, intends to rewrite the first few chapters. Don't forget, Legendbringer wouldn't mind it if his fic was mocked.

Do you know why Batman doesn't kill? Because it would make him the same as the criminals he fights against. You don't get to be better than a shitty author by writing in the same way as him. Introducing a 2edgy4me villain that absolutely decimates Starfleet is no different than Mykan's Titan being unaffected by the Elements of Harmony and beating the crap out of the ponies with relative ease. Cranking up the assholery of Starfleet up to twenty and turning them into hate sinks is no different than Mykan protraying the ponies and complete idiots. Take a look at your paragraph, for example. Celesto is an asshole, but he never raised his hand against Celestia.

The story in question is horribly lacking in subtlety and is equally juvenile as Mykan's crap. Filled with gore, edge and ridiculously out of place sex jokes. Already on the first chapter the Mane Six are loudly complaining about how bad Starfleet is. No realization, instrospection or anything, just STARFLEET SUCKS REEEEEEE! Reading it reminds me of the story Mykan wrote about the Teen Titans fighting the members of Project AFTER, except that one was funny in how bad it was.

Just look at the amount of likes and dislikes. Sixty-two to thirty-eight, respectively. And we're talking about people that absolutely despise Mykan.

QUOTE
Say, would you saying being turned into a statue is kind of like dying?

Also, apparently, Mykan thinks the phrase "I love you more than life itself" means to love a person more than to love their being alive instead of loving a person more than life in general.

No surprises here. This whole chapter might as well be called "WHAT ABOUT MEEEEEE?"
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Post #38
MasterOfNintendo


Regular
***

Group: Members
Posts: 247
Joined: 18-January 16
Member No.: 1,747
Gender: Male



post Feb 14 2017, 12:20 PM
Alright. Seems like there's been quite a discussion here.

I'll get this out of the way. I like that Anti-Starfleet fic (rape notwithstanding). That's all I'll say without starting a discourse. That 2edgy4me villain could be made better with the Abridged Frieza voice, after all.

Secondly, Dashguy, you just pointed up a metric FRAG-ton of details Mykan keeps dodging to make Beast Boy look good. From sisters selling their own kin to torturous slavery to humans being reduced to walking Duracell batteries to demonic heritage, the author would rather have being green and being dumped as a fate worse than death. And my point about romance has now been all but confirmed. Also, yeah. Beast Boy wasn't exactly a perfect angel in the series. Nobody really is.

NHarmonik, you also just summarized Mykan's philosophy in just a few sentences. I honestly can't think of any way he can counter that without betraying his persistent feeling about himself.

Personally, I'm surprised he hasn't blown up on me for real. Especially since I just posted a pic where his first Starfleet villain (Titan) is cuddling up with an Adventure Time character. You'd think he'd be proud of having fanart done of his characters.

In conclusion, it's really sad when that last pic (mainly, an anthropomorphic nerd feline and an 80's knockoff of Alien) makes for a better story than this.


--------------------



The mistakes I see in this this work are to be pointed out so they may not be repeated.
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Post #39
MasterOfNintendo


Regular
***

Group: Members
Posts: 247
Joined: 18-January 16
Member No.: 1,747
Gender: Male



post Feb 14 2017, 03:40 PM
After that...god-awful experience, let's keep this show on the road. Mercifully, this chapter isn't that long.

Pink= Myself


White= Ramblings of a lonely mind

Chapter 15: At a Loss

Yeah. That captures my reaction at the inanity of the last chapter.

Beast Boy’s insides really ached as he finished his story, and he trying to hold in with all he had not to shed a tear or cry again. “That’s why I can’t stand changes. Every time life changed, it always affected me in the worst possible way.” He sighed softly, “And friendship could never really make it better… only worse.”

Dammit all! More of this slag! Honestly, I'd appreciate a much BETTER explantion other than "I can't handle it because the author turned me into a massive emotional teenage phase that walks."

The others were positively heart-struck, and Cadance knew, with the aid of her magic, that Beast Boy’s heart was speaking the total truth.

And here we have a video of Fluttershy about to cry. Coincidentally, it came from an episode where Fluttershy told Dash to suck it up and let her pet turtle get some damn sleep.

Beast Boy continued to hold in his pain as much as he could, but it was Rainbow who burst out crying softly but hysterically.

You'd think she's appreciate the other Titans for holding it together more than this asshole due to, you know, TORTURE, DEMONIC HERITAGE, AND OTHER SLAG.

“Oh, you poor, poor thing…” cried Fluttershy as she comforted Beast Boy. She began to cry softly. This made Rarity break into tears as well. “I can’t bear to see Fluttershy… cry!”

Oh, what do you know? He repeated the same quote. There's such thing as "not helping your case" when people mock you, Mykan.

“It’s just… heart-wrenching!” sobbed Pinkie, and they walked over to huddle around Beast Boy, whom remained silent, still, and with a spiritless look on his face.

He's pretty wooden, even when trying to convey stock-sadness.

Also, nice to see that, if it's not Fluttershy or Celestia, then any attempt at comforting the guy is for naught.


Applejack, she didn’t shed any tears, but she did feel awful for Beast Boy. “That’s like an apple with a mighty big worm inside it.” she said.

Yeah. This story. Except that worm bred like a rabbit in heat.

“I… I never thought someone could possibly have it so bad.” said Twilight “No wonder he doesn’t want to go back. It’s like he hasn’t really anything to go back to.”

Twilight, no. That's the same mindset Starlight Glimmer had and look how well that turned out.

“I can’t say I blame him.” said Spike “I don’t think even I’d want to go back if I were him.”

Beast Boy then asked to be excused, “I’d like to get some fresh air.”

“Okay, you go ahead.” said Twilight “And Beast Boy…”

He stopped to face her.

“…Don’t worry, if you don’t want to go back, even for a long time. You don’t have to.”

The others nodded. “You can trust us…” Cadance said.

As thankful as Beast Boy felt and wished he could show it more, he simply said “That’s what they all said.”



Then he was gone.

Shining Armor sighed, “I’ve never seen anyone so down in the dumps before. There’s got to be something we can do for him.”

None of the others had a clue, not even Twilight. She felt that it would take a lot more than just simple friendship to sort all this out. Even Cadance decided not to try using her love magic on him, feeling it was neither the right time nor the right thing to do-- forcing a guy to see the brighter side of things, especially through magic. It would make her hardly any different from the Titans.”

Are you trying to tell me Mykan's Titans would resort to magic to make him see the best side of things? For the last time, Mykan, THEY TRIED! They only got drastic near the end because they weren't given enough information (poor communication always messes things up) and that it was affecting the outcome of their superhero careers (which, again, they did to be heroes, not for fame).

Speaking of the Titans, they were ready to beat themselves silly for being so hard on Beast Boy, now that they knew the full and complete story about him.

Pity Fest: The Fanfic.

“It’s no wonder Beast Boy ran out on us.” said Robin. The others all felt so ashamed they could hardly speak. Beast Boy really did have it hard. While true, they all had their own hardships, the fact remained that they were able to overcome most of their obstacles and move on to better lives and better futures, while he was still struggling in the dark, and THEY were only making things worse with all their pressuring and bad attitudes.

Actually, more like...Broken Record: The Fanfic.

Some people acting like He was undeserving of the Titans... but now it was clearly more like THEY were not deserving of him.

They sure aren't. No team needs to be saddled with a boy who refuses to do what he did in the show until this fanfic came along. GROW UP.

“So now you know.” said the first computer. “It looks like our job here is complete.”

"Onto the eradication of the human race. They're not deserving of our Green God."

“What?” snapped Cyborg “You can’t just go? How do we fix all this?”

“We only came to give you answers to why Beast Boy fled… and we’ve done that. This is your mess to clean up, not ours.” said another computer, “Besides, I’m not even so sure he would ever want to come back. Why should he?"

The Titans could find no argument to that.

How about to give him a home/friends/someone to talk to before he becomes a recluse from all he ever knew and loved? And to think I thought machines saw the logical side of things.

“Well, good luck… and you’ll need every bit of it.” said the last computer. Then the spiritual forces faded away, and the computers were all normal again.

And thus, thrown into the dumpster for safety.

No one said a thing.

Jerome brought Terra back to the park. She had seen enough, and she never thought she would ever feel the same again. “Beast Boy…” she peeped.

Enough of the peeping! I keep imaging baby chickens!

Not that it's a bad idea...




Jerome placed his hand on her back, and she looked up at him. “Some people can get over and move on from their problems, but some people can’t, especially not when what you’re trying to get over keeps on happening to you, and worse… no one is being truly sympathetic or helpful.

…Kinda like you and your “Things Change” stuff. You sacrificed your moral principles for something material for yourself. You lost way more than what you gained.”

NO! She KEPT her moral principles! Mykan, you really have no empathy for innocent passerbys that got killed by Slade's minions/crushed by falling rocks, do you?! None at all!

Terra couldn’t deny it, and didn’t even try to. The way her normal life was going wasn’t exactly what she had in mind-- doing bad in school, having arguments and fallouts with her new friends, and worst of all; always feeling intense guilt and remorse for Beast Boy. The pain only now felt insanely worse now that she had seen all the horrible things Beast Boy had been through and how she only made it really worse by brushing off… especially having regretted it deep down from the start.

Take a wild guess why all that stuff from the start of that paragraph happened? Yep. It's because both she and Beast Boy just couldn't sit down and TALK. Intelligently, this time.

“What am I going to do?” Terra asked “What can I do?”

“I can’t help you with that.” replied Jerome “I was just here to give you answers to why you think Beast Boy would have turned to crime.”

"But hey! At least it isn't that Count Logan bullshit."

“What do you mean “I think” he turned to crime?”

Jerome sighed and shook his head. “Look, I gotta’ get goin’, but I can only tell you this much, and it’s the same lesson you just learned from everything I showed you:

…Things aren’t always as they seem.”

Practice what you preach, Mykan.

Everything slowly faded in a white flash…

…And Terra woke up, realizing she had been asleep the whole time. Though it was debatable if she had dreamed the whole thing; everything felt so real, including her feelings. She knew she was in love with Beast Boy, and that she had made a huge mistake.

Then, she decided she just had a bad acid trip and got her life back together.

It could not be just a mere dream, and fates way of showing her the answers she wanted…

…At least those answers.

“No!” she grumbled to herself as she got up and marched straight over to a garbage can “I’m not going to do this anymore!”

She promptly thrust herself in and accepted the cold embrace of death as the grinder came to claim the trash inside.

She then pulled off her entire school uniform and tossed those clothes into the trash. Mysterious still fully dressed… in her old super hero outfit-- Black shirt with a T. Yellow shorts, brown running boots, and she pulled her bit gloves over her hands and fit her goggles across her forehead.

She then heard two somebodies gasp behind her; it was the Js. They saw her throw out her uniform and gawked at what she was wearing.

Even they know things have gone WAY off the rails.

At first she felt a little embarrassed, but then she regathered her courage and levitated herself on a flying boulder, which surprised her former friends even more. “Tell the teachers I won’t be in school on Monday.” she called down to them, and then she flew off.

"Well, bye! Can't wait to see how you survive with little financial aid!"

The Js were so shocked, that they fainted right over backwards.

Next thing you know, they get a letter from the Brain about possible job opportunities. Also, a request for a blow-dryer to get that ice off his body.

As for Terra, her first plan, to start rectifying her own errors, was to find Beast Boy and hopefully try to talk to him about all these robberies and maybe work things out.

She didn’t feel she was ready to return to Titan’s Tower… not just yet. She only wanted to take it one step at a time. “I’ll search every inch of the city if I have to.” she said to herself.

You know, it's gonna be pretty awkward if a few people still in mourning from that incident she was in see her and don't notify the authorities right then and now.

Meanwhile, the Titans were still so distraught from their visions. “What should we do?” Starfire asked.

“Well, we could go try to find him and apologize.” suggested Cyborg.

“We can’t…” said Robin “At least not right now. We have a thief to track down. Look, I know how you all feel right now, but we can’t simply ignore the city’s troubles.”

Even he puts the city before his whining-ass former friend. Robin, you have a stern heart, but you're prioritizing at least.

“Besides, we don’t even know where to start looking.” added Raven “And we don’t know if he’ll even want to talk to us, let alone give us another chance.”

“…But I will.” said a familiar voice.

The Titans all turned and saw Beast Boy standing at the doorway-- unbeknownst it was actually Changeling making his move to infiltrate the tower.

I'm surprised the computers didn't come back to life and tear him apart with their wires as they screamed "YOU ARE SPREADING BLASPHEMY HERE, FAKER!"

“Beast Boy…?” said Robin.

“Friend, you have returned!” added Starfire

Changeling acted slyly and made himself seem a bit shy and awkward. “I couldn’t help but overhear everything. I’m glad you finally understand, and… well… I’ve done a lot of thinking. Maybe I haven’t exactly been enlightening either.”

It's sad. Changeling, I repeat, THE SHITTY OC VILLAIN is showing a more reserved and true-to-form Beast Boy here. Anyone else getting a "The Great Dictator" vibe from this?

“Totally…” Raven said, but she said it to herself not wanting to ruin what looked like would be a great reunion.

“So… maybe… we can all try again?” Changeling asked.

The others smiled warmly and proudly, “Aw, come here you!” Cyborg said, giving his little pal a big guy hug. Starfire then proceeded to nearly crush him in her own hugs. Robin bopped fists with him, and then it was down to Raven…

“Um… well… I… oh, what the heck!” and she hugged him warmly, like that time she did before when he helped her. “Welcome back.” that was all she said.

Normally, this would be the good and logical ending (after Beast Boy did some soul-searching and fought his personal demons at last, starting with the author). One big group hug and Mykan has to ruin it by having it be a diabolical villain under the guise.

Also, pretty quick to forgive him, eh? I repeat myself. Beast Emo doesn't deserve you guys. I'd kill to have friends like these.


Changeling hugged her back softly while sinisterly thinking “Ooh, this feels wonderful, and soon things will get even deeper between you and me, my sweet.”

"Also...is this love? I...I think I'm actually gonna cry..."

Once again, as I just shown, that's another piece of wasted potential. This villain slowly growing into the role of Beast Boy (replacing the now loner and emo version here, in a sort of Red Hood twist) and figuring he should atone for his crimes to make the ones he loves (especially Raven) happy. It would be actually heartbreaking if he suddenly were to reveal himself and tearfully admit that he was wrong.

NOPE! Let's turn him into Stock Mykan Villain #142! Or something. I haven't kept count.

See you soon.


--------------------



The mistakes I see in this this work are to be pointed out so they may not be repeated.
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Post #40
Dashguy


Advanced Member
****

Group: Members
Posts: 1,272
Joined: 24-August 12
From: Argentina
Member No.: 712
Gender: Male



post Feb 15 2017, 04:34 AM
QUOTE
“We only came to give you answers to why Beast Boy fled… and we’ve done that. This is your mess to clean up, not ours.” said another computer, “Besides, I’m not even so sure he would ever want to come back. Why should he?"

It's small parts like this one that make you realize the Titans are genuinely good people. I mean, these computer douchebags insult them, treat their painful past like a joke and offer them no solution at all for their problem. Any other person would tell them to go drown in scat porn. Not only that, it's obvious they want BB back because he's a friend and not just because the team would be incomplete. Let's be honest here, a guy who can turn into animals is not really that impressive. Not when you have over a dozen of "honorary titans" who would surely love to join the team and have more practical skills/powers.

How about that pink-haired girl who could turn into crystal? She was cute.
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post

4 Pages V  < 1 2 3 4 >
Reply to this topicStart new topic
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:

 



Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 25th March 2017 - 11:31 AM