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> The Essentials, The very best of the absolute worst.
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Master of AFTER


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post Jul 9 2011, 03:40 AM
Over the years, the Fanfiction Mockeries section of these forums has evolved from a small collection of sporadically uploaded reviews into a massive archive containing literally hundreds of mockeries that grow in number almost daily. Within this diverse assortment of member-contributed material exists an extensive variety of badfic bashing to suit all tastes in lethally cruel literary criticism. Like snowflakes made of hate, each submitted mockery is truly special in its own unique way.

While the ideal life for any digital comedy connoisseur would consist of endless days spent browsing the ever-growing catalogue of mockeries hosted here, the unfortunate truth is that few people have the resources to live out such a dream. Oh sure, there are billionaire Wall Street fat cats and Nigerian princes who practically live on this site, but for us average Joes and Janes with bills to pay, a finite amount of free time means we need to be choosy when it comes to our mockery viewing preferences. We might not be able to see it all, but we at least want to see the best.

The purpose of this thread is to provide readers with a comprehensive listing of those forum-exclusive mockeries that have been deemed "must-see" submissions. Part reference guide, part hall of fame collection, the following list features links to a selection of fanfiction mockeries that carry special significance for the community.

For anyone who has only the occasional spare moment to spend reading terrible stories ripped apart by arrogant jerks venting their frustrations at the world, these are the public fanfiction whippings you'll want to make sure you schedule some time to watch. They are at the height of heartless hilarity; they are the headlining acts; they are the masterworks of the Moquerie collection. They are...

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Digiball Z: A New Era Of Power!
Written by Dakari-King Mykan.
Reviewed by T_K_17.

Before he was a beloved lolcow responsible for spreading boundless laughter to all corners of the information superhighway, Mykan was a humble fanfiction author writing Digimon/Dragon Ball Z crossovers. As one of his earlier works, Digiball Z is a lasting testament to Mykan's uncanny knack for exploring daring new concepts that happen to be absolutely terrible. T_K_17 skillfully fought through all sixteen chapters of this idiotic epic, leaving a mockery in his wake that would go on to become a fan favorite among the scores of DKM works checked off by our community's members.


Final Fantasy IX: Dawn of the Dinosaurs
Written by DrakeSceptor.
Reviewed by Protto.

After spending his first few months on the forums as a tragically underrated mockery contributor, Protto finally gained some well-deserved recognition from regulars when his entry in the "Love Sick" Fanfiction Review Contest earned him a spot in the top three. Once his work made it onto the main site, forum members suddenly found themselves browsing through his back catalogue with new interest, discovering—among other hidden treasures—a thrilling thrashing of FFIX: Dawn of the Dinosaurs. As a story often mistaken for a trollfic due to the sheer brain-destroying absurdity of its content, DotD is one fic that would send most regular reviewers into a state of shock. Despite being a relative newcomer to the craft, however, Protto dove into this pile of toxic waste head-first and emerged with proof that he could compose comical commentary with the best of 'em. An instant classic.


For You, Sonic, I Will
Written by Enigma Echidna.
Reviewed by Shmeckie.

When most people lay into fanfiction written by individuals they know personally, the results are often passive-aggressive bitchfests that are nitpicky and vindictive without being particularly amusing. Thankfully, Shmeckie is not most people. His review of then fellow Sonic Online moderator Enigma Echidna's infamously melodramatic Sonic fanfic is a white-knuckle lollercoaster from beginning to end. Not even an ocean of angst and a river of rape is enough to cease Shmeckie's riotous roasting. Good thing, too, since this one is potentially lethal when consumed raw.


Garden of EVA (Book 0: Bites)
Written by Jim Lazar.
Reviewed by Dr. O.

The notorious Garden of EVA saga has drifted about the net like some digital plague for so long that it seems almost strange to think its texts would escape the critical eyes of the PA Forum community until the year 2011... Until you actually read a portion of the story, that is, at which point the mystery solves itself. Finishing even a single chapter of Jim Lazar's overgrown garden of madness is a feat so grueling that few would consider attempting to analyze such thoroughly terrible writing. I can only assume Dr. O is a man who feels no pain, since he accomplished the legendary feat of reviewing the entirety of Book 0 (appropriately titled "Bites") in less than one month. While his courageous efforts earned him a tie for third place in the "Love Sick" Fanfiction Review Contest, his entry was sadly too long to join the other contest winners on the main site. Don't let the imposing length of the material scare you off, though; Dr. O ensures the medicine goes down easy without so much as a single grain of sugar.


Garden of EVA (Book 1: Sucks)
Written by Jim Lazar.
Reviewed by multiple contributors.

As Jim Lazar's tortuously long tale about nothing lumbers into the second leg of its pointless journey, the pace slows like cold molasses and the word count swells like a cancerous tumor. Well aware the beast had grown too strong for any lone critic to face on their own, a group of forum members organized a plan of attack that employed the age-old tactic known as divide and conquer. Overseen by veteran strategist Al_Cone, the ensuing battle called forth seven unlucky souls to face the towering behemoth and take it apart piece by piece. After half a dozen of the community's finest did their work in spectacular style, yours truly delivered the killing blow on the eve of Project AFTER's ninth anniversary. It was messy as hell, but worth a look if you've got the stomach for it.


The Legend of Zelda: An Old Threat in a New Era
Written by Sparty and Erico.
Reviewed by Shmeckie.

Initially launched in the summer of 2008, this epic fanfiction flagellation would take more than half a decade to complete. By tackling the epilogue in early December of 2013, Shmeckie went against the clock to enter this old threat as an eleventh-hour submission in the "Game Over" Fanfiction Review Contest. With time ticking down, Shmeckie dealt the final blows to this stumbling heap of clichés with an elegance and ferocity reminiscent of The Greatest. The crowd went wild, voting the completed mockery the winner of the "Game Over" contest and ensuring its legacy as a source of inspiration for future generations of young fanfiction critics who find themselves up against a work that refuses to stay down. The most impressive victories never come easily.


Neon Exodus Evangelion
Written by Eyrie Productions, Unlimited staff.
Reviewed by Dr. O.

"Yes, it's another Evangelion fanfic." So begins the introduction to one of the grandest ongoing fanfiction reviews associated with PA. Neon Exodus Evangelion, however, is no ordinary EVA fanfic! Written by a Legion of Doom-esque team of hack writers with a penchant for churning out deep violet prose filled with transparent self-insertions and nonsensical subplots that drag an already cluttered narrative in a thousand directions at once, NXE (sic) comprises nearly thirty grueling chapters of atrocious writing designed to drive readers insane. Dr. O once again proves there is no creation associated with Hideaki Anno's animated midlife crisis that he cannot demolish in brilliant form, deconstructing every element of this convoluted story smartly and hilariously. Definitely one of the good doctor's finest performances to date, not to mention a PA staff favorite.


Normal Teenage Life
Written by Queen-of-Azarath.
Reviewed by Al_Cone.

Sometimes, fanfiction authors feel the need to remind their readers that anything, however unusual or extraordinary, can be made mind-numbingly boring through the magic of creatively malnourished writing. Normal Teenage Life is a retelling of Teen Titans if all of the main characters were devoid of their superpowers, back stories, personalities, or anything else that would make them remotely interesting. This offensively dull concept spans nearly 125,000 words in its entirety. As if he were attempting to atone for some heinous crime, Al_Cone has taken it upon himself to mock the whole of this agonizing experiment in tedium. The results are not unlike pouring a bag of assorted spices into the blandest dish ever prepared, then setting it on fire; Al kicks this bitch the hell up a notch and then some. Bon appétit!


The Sailor Moon Legend of Zelda
Written by Dakari-King Mykan.
Reviewed by Al_Cone.

Every saga has a beginning... In the early weeks of 2008, forum neophyte Al_Cone would unwittingly make fun of a fanfiction that would forever change the face of the Project AFTER Forums. That fateful post would be the first time many members here would ever read the name Dakari-King Mykan—but certainly not the last. Indeed, none could have foreseen the lasting impact of the Pandora's Box of in-jokes and memes which was opened that day. For better or for worse, Mykan's fate has become forever entwined with that of this community; two paths merged into one as we march forward toward that far-off horizon called eternity. All because he wrote a shitty Zelda/Sailor Moon crossover... It really makes you think.


Shattered Hearts
Written by Tayeta.
Reviewed by Yaoi Huntress Earth.

Thanks to YHE bringing a number of fanfics onto the forums like a cat happily leaving dead rodents at the foot of your bed, the legacy of infamous self-insertion author DisneyFan01 has enjoyed a strong presence here on the PA Forums. Although YHE has blazed gloriously sarcastic trails through Faithful Hearts and a variety of its many spin-offs with impressive results, her review of Shattered Hearts is particularly noteworthy due to the story's own hilariously nonsensical origins. SH is, in fact, a fanfiction based on an original character from John P. Fadeley's story Faithful Hearts: The Wanderer, which is itself a fanfiction of the original Faithful Hearts. If this convoluted, Inception-esque mindfuck of a setup sounds confusing, then don't worry. How this fanfic came to exist isn't nearly as important as why it exists, and the only person who knows the answer to that riddle is very likely insane.


Shinji's Nightmare Cataclysm
Written by Psychostorm.
Reviewed by Max-Vader.

Those stubbornly determined to adhere to meaningless traditions will tell you there are certain "rules" to composing a line-by-line fanfiction review, one of the most important being that one should not attempt to make fun of a story that is intentionally bad. Like a lovably sassy high school freshman in a teen dramedy about believing in yourself, Max-Vader proves you sometimes have to break the rules in order to win the hearts of the audience. Shinji's Nightmare Cataclysm is an ambitiously distasteful trollfic created by a man who can't decide whether he's totally botching his first attempt at writing a work of postmodern satire or telling the world's worst Aristocrats joke. Either way, you'll be cheering as Max brazenly flips convention the bird and proceeds to shame that which has no shame, finally allowing readers the chance to laugh at this putrid pile of text that's too nauseating to be good for anything else.


Teen Titans vs. Project After
Written by Dakari-King Mykan.
Reviewed by multiple contributors.

In one of the most amusingly impotent attempts at revenge ever seen on the internet, Dakari-King Mykan decided to strike back at the members of Project AFTER for our cruel mockery of his work the only way he knew how: by writing us into a fanfic where we were defeated by characters from a kids' cartoon show. The challenge was issued, and members of this community responded by gleefully tearing apart each chapter within days of its release. A total of ten forum members came together to participate in what remains one of the most celebrated group fanfiction beatings in the site's history. The Teen Titans may have won the battle, but we pointed out that the war was incredibly stupid.


===================================================================


The above list is constantly being expanded to include new material deemed worthy of special recognition. If you'd like to nominate a fanfiction mockery for inclusion in The Essentials list, simply post a reply in this thread including a link to the work you'd like to see added along with a brief explanation of why you think it deserves to be acknowledged as essential reading.


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post Jul 9 2011, 04:22 AM
If I Was Your Nazi
Written by Mika-Chan
Reviewed by Waffleman/Marth/Maniak/YTB


An infamous bad-fic that relocates the Organization XIII into Germany. It writes like a high-school fanfic... but with gay Nazis. A must read if you wish to lose all hope in humanity as Mika-Chan takes a gigantic shit on the millions that lost their lives in the Holocaust. The blow is only softened by the hilarious commentary from four of ProjectAfter's members.


Oh, and though I'm not trying to shamelessly promote myself, Pikachu's New Love is also a really painful fic. But according to MeowMix:

QUOTE
I always cringe at Pokeporn, always. Your mock, however, made this somewhat less cringe-able!


This post has been edited by xoxjoanxox: Jul 9 2011, 04:30 AM


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QUOTE (9/13/2013 3:49:17 PM Max-Vader:)
YOU KNOW NOTHING, JOAN SNOW

QUOTE (Master of AFTER @ Feb 5 2014, 05:08 AM) *
I Was the Drink: The Joan Cheng Story

QUOTE (Screaming Soulcatcher)
Joan are you the straightest shota
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P Dot Alex


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post Jul 9 2011, 04:49 AM
Mykan's Fanfiction.net page
Written by Mykan
Mocked by Maniak


While his fanfictions already show a lot of Mykan's personality, his profile on Fanfiction.net is definitely the icing on the cake. Watch as he randomly inserts badly written songs and acts smug about that shipping war that nobody gives a damn about. Only recommended with the commentary by then-newcomer Maniak, as consuming anything by Mykan without a sane second voice may cause holes in your wallet due to broken monitors, keyboards and headsets.


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post Jul 9 2011, 06:58 AM
Story: Shinji's Nightmare Cataclysm
Written by: Psychostorm
Fandoms: neon Genesis Evangelion and Warhammer 40k
Mocked by: Max-Vader

SNC was seemingly written to push all the wrong buttons. It is one of those stories where, even if you don't go into a rage, even if you don't actively hate it (both accomplishments...) you should still have negative feelings towards this story*.
Unless you are reading Max's mock.
Max managed to not only take this story and make it readable, no, through his mocks he somehow made it enjoyable. I suspect Slaneesh is involved. he even included wonderful quotes, so you even feel educated.
While Max is a wonderful mocker, the sheer length of this story makes it one hell of a..disgusting...shameful...rage-inducing...
...ride?
Nevermind, Everyone should stay away. wink.gif


*We are ignoring, of course, the people who actually like the story, since they obviously don't matter if they do. wink.gif


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Al_Cone


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post Jul 9 2011, 09:22 AM
Neon Exodus Evangelion
By Ben Hutchinson, Larry Mann, and all the other cooks who further spoiled an already rancid broth. Aided and abetted by Eyrie Productions Unlimited, enemies of the state.
Mocked by Dr. O

There are many reasons why I think that this belongs on there. To get the most hyperbolic of those reasons out of the way, it's simply the best mock to have ever been posted on these forums. The material is classic fanboy self-insertion wanking, and answers a question that no human being with any chance at having sex in their life would bother to ask: What would happen if, instead of Shinji, the main character of Evangelion was the bastard offspring of Laura Croft and Fox Mulder, and if the series weren't set in Tokyo, but inexplicably in an east coast Maine town with no vital strategic value of any kind? Moreover, what if said character were not a shy boy lacking in self confidence, desperately seeking his father's approval, but a remarkably smarmy asshole who divides his time between lecturing every single person he comes into contact with on their mistakes and failures as human beings (leaving every single one of them, without exception, to be described as "stunned speechless by the force of DJ's verbal assault," with little change to the formula besides the wording), making every single female in the cast fall in love with him (even convincing at least one character to "share" his girlfriend with him, although DJ mercifully spares us) and being so good at everything that he becomes the most vital asset to NERV, eclipsing even the Evagenlions themselves?

Billed as "Evangelion done right," which is hilariously arrogant a thing to even suggest, NXE follows the bold tradition laid down by Hideaki Anno and his crew of insane, baboon-like animators. It's a story that's too long, too stupid, and too goddamn convoluted to ever be considered decent by any stretch of the imagination, and yet it is beloved for all of those reasons. It's long, its prose makes Barney the Dinosaur look significantly less purple when directly compared, and it spends copious amounts of time explaining, in great detail, stupid things that nobody cared about (one chapter is almost entirely devoted to the explanation of a fictional merger between Sega and Atari) while neglecting to explain things that are vital to the narrative.

I won't bore you with a lengthy, drawn-out anti NXE tirade; seeing as I completely lost sight of what I was saying earlier, I'll get straight to the point. Dr. O tears this thing apart skillfully, intelligently and hilariously. His deconstruction of the story's internal logic, the characters, their morality, their ethics and the vapid stupidity of the plot is beyond reproach. It's the best there ever was and it belongs on your list, Boss, and if you don't put it up there, I'll mail a poisoned cigar to your house and expect you to smoke it.

Also, they write Asuka's name wrong. It's not "Soryu-Langley," Eyrie, it's "Langley-Sohryu. That's just always bothered me.

This post has been edited by Al_Cone: Jul 9 2011, 09:23 AM


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QUOTE (theabhorrentatrocity @ Aug 15 2015, 02:25 PM) *
daddy longleg spiders are scary as they're one of the most poisonous spiders so not much of an over reaction.


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post Jul 9 2011, 09:40 AM
Oh, and I forgot to mention: Stalk Al-Cone. His mocks are always golden.


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QUOTE (9/13/2013 3:49:17 PM Max-Vader:)
YOU KNOW NOTHING, JOAN SNOW

QUOTE (Master of AFTER @ Feb 5 2014, 05:08 AM) *
I Was the Drink: The Joan Cheng Story

QUOTE (Screaming Soulcatcher)
Joan are you the straightest shota
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Al_Cone


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post Jul 9 2011, 09:42 AM
QUOTE (xoxjoanxox @ Jul 9 2011, 10:40 AM)
Oh, and I forgot to mention: Stalk Al-Cone. His mocks are always golden.
*


I'm flattered, but I don't want this to become the "Al Cone and some other guys" thread. I'm hesitant to even let SMLoZ stay up there, since I consider it an unfinished piece. And I don't just mean because I haven't finished mocking the story. But it's popular, so I guess I don't have any complaints.

NTL, on the other hand, I have no qualms about. biggrin.gif


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QUOTE (theabhorrentatrocity @ Aug 15 2015, 02:25 PM) *
daddy longleg spiders are scary as they're one of the most poisonous spiders so not much of an over reaction.


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post Jul 9 2011, 10:33 AM
Final Fantasy IX: Dawn of the Dinosaurs
Written by DrakeSceptor
Reviewed by Protto

When I first saw Protto my thoughts were "Hey look, some new guy, and he's mocked some fanfics, I guess? Eh, none of that looks like stuff I'd be interested in reading. I've got more important things to do, like work on Bible Black: Abridged...... shit."
Then I saw that he got third place in the LSC, and thought that maybe he was good after all, so I read his entry. Turns out he was; in fact, he was fucking hilarious, who knew? So I then decided to check out his most recent mock, Dawn of the Dinosaurs, and boy was I in for a treat. This fanfiction is the most delightfully stupid thing I've read in a long time. From the retarded names (Mega Mindy, Baby Godzilla, Monkey Doo Doo Face) to the obnoxious Gary Stu and canon-ass-raping plot ("Turns out the main character of FF9 is an evil monster. Watch now as I steal his fiancé and gloat like a motherfucker!"), this thing was asking for it. Protto could only oblige and give it the beating it deserves.

Titus: A Single Parent
Written by YunaGirlAmy
Reviewed by Al Cone

Al would tell you this mock isn't so good, that his later works are where it's really at. He's wrong. Few mocks can make me laugh out loud, even fewer can do it more than once. This one did, I fucking love it. It also introduced us to the lovely YGA, who originally came here to bitch about the mock; later thinking that maybe we were right before reverting to her old ways a couple of years later.


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Mocks:
1. Digiball Z - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 (f)
2. Saiyaman (f)
3. Saiyaman 2 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12
4. Teen Titans vs Project AFTER - 2 3 (f)
5. Desires Unspoken - Deluxe Special Edition (f)
6. TK versus Birdboy | Fandom | Empire - Part 1
7. Garden of EVA - Sucks Everybody! (f)
8. What is War? - 1 2
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post Jul 9 2011, 11:08 AM
Al, I believe SMLoZ should stay up.
I also can't believe NXE isn't already up there, unless Sir left off a few goodies so we can praise the heck out of them ourselves, yes? wink.gif


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post Jul 9 2011, 01:46 PM
QUOTE (T_K_17 @ Jul 9 2011, 11:33 AM)
Titus: A Single Parent
Written by YunaGirlAmy
Reviewed by Al Cone

Al would tell you this mock isn't so good, that his later works are where it's really at.  He's wrong.  Few mocks can make me laugh out loud, even fewer can do it more than once.  This one did, I fucking love it.  It also introduced us to the lovely YGA, who originally came here to bitch about the mock; later thinking that maybe we were right before reverting to her old ways a couple of years later.
*


That one I'll give you, because I got some great mileage out of what a horrifyingly bad parent Tidus is. I still crack up at the moment where Tidus discovers that he left the front door open for Rosia to wander out of while he tried to score with Rikku.

QUOTE
Tidus and Rikku were sitting in his living room, with Rosia at Tidus’s feet.

He looked down to check on her, and found she wasn’t there.


YGA's explanation for that one was "If you'd read the story properly, you'd have seen that Tidus was checking on her every five minutes or so."

EDIT: Wait a goddamn second; are you implying that my later mocks are not where it's at and do not make you laugh out loud?!

This post has been edited by Al_Cone: Jul 9 2011, 04:43 PM


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QUOTE (theabhorrentatrocity @ Aug 15 2015, 02:25 PM) *
daddy longleg spiders are scary as they're one of the most poisonous spiders so not much of an over reaction.


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xoxjoanxox


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post Jul 9 2011, 05:18 PM
QUOTE (Al_Cone @ Jul 9 2011, 04:46 PM)
EDIT: Wait a goddamn second; are you implying that my later mocks are not where it's at and do not make you laugh out loud?!
*


Are you feeling butthurt, Al?

Also, the first group mock on ProjectAfter is a must see. It will also allow newcomers to get a taste of each mocker's unique style.

Speaking of mockers, what happened to Waffleman?


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QUOTE (9/13/2013 3:49:17 PM Max-Vader:)
YOU KNOW NOTHING, JOAN SNOW

QUOTE (Master of AFTER @ Feb 5 2014, 05:08 AM) *
I Was the Drink: The Joan Cheng Story

QUOTE (Screaming Soulcatcher)
Joan are you the straightest shota
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DraculaMarth


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post Jul 9 2011, 05:21 PM
QUOTE (xoxjoanxox @ Jul 9 2011, 09:18 PM)
Are you feeling butthurt, Al?

Also, the first group mock on ProjectAfter is a must see. It will also allow newcomers to get a taste of each mocker's unique style.

Speaking of mockers, what happened to Waffleman?

*


I really wish I knew.


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post Jul 9 2011, 05:35 PM
QUOTE (Al_Cone @ Jul 9 2011, 02:46 PM)
EDIT: Wait a goddamn second; are you implying that my later mocks are not where it's at and do not make you laugh out loud?!
*

Nope, I'm saying your later works are not the only place where it's at.

I'm not going to let this turn into the "Shower Al_Cone with praise" thread, so let's get some more recommendations from other users.

Better not let it turn into the "TK_17 doesn't know the difference between 'your' and 'you're" thread either. ~Al

Or the "Al doesn't know the difference between 'T_K_17' and 'TK_17'" thread. ~TK

This post has been edited by T_K_17: Jul 9 2011, 06:39 PM


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Mocks:
1. Digiball Z - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 (f)
2. Saiyaman (f)
3. Saiyaman 2 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12
4. Teen Titans vs Project AFTER - 2 3 (f)
5. Desires Unspoken - Deluxe Special Edition (f)
6. TK versus Birdboy | Fandom | Empire - Part 1
7. Garden of EVA - Sucks Everybody! (f)
8. What is War? - 1 2
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post Jul 9 2011, 06:12 PM
For Your Eyes Only
As Written By: Shirohane
As Mocked By: Things

Shirohane succeeds at horrifying readers the world over with a thing before thought to be only in parodies: Underaged Cat Sex with Naruto. Things has an unconventional method of mocking it and I don't believe it was ever completed, but it has some good laughs.


My Little Grimdark (Cupcakes)
As Written by: Sgt. Sprinkles
As Mocked by: Maniak

Even if you aren't a brony (a term I use grudgingly, by the way), you still have to do a spit take to this literally torturous fanfic which takes a cartoon designed for little girls and drags it through "A Serbian Film" territory. It takes a crazy man to stomach this fic, and my unofficial partner in crime, Maniak is that man.

Rectified Anonymity
As Written by: David Garrett
As Mocked by: Phrenia

A Pokemon story which involves some of the most disgusting fetishes this side of TheShadist, it was actually condemned by Encyclopedia Dramatica. How Phrenia ever managed to mock it remains a mystery


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post Jul 9 2011, 11:52 PM
Leeeeeemme stop everybody right there. While I'm excited about the enthusiasm this thread has generated, I think its intention has been slightly misinterpreted. Please do not use this thread as a bulletin board to link mockeries you think are pretty decent, or ones that you were personally involved in and want to advertise.

This thread is called "The Essentials" for a reason. The purpose of this topic being here is to give special recognition to mockeries that carry some kind of significance for the community. By that, I mean they were unusually ambitious in scale, the first to exhibit the work of an infamous author, the result of a large collaborative effort, exceptionally popular among members, etc. Basically, if you had to pick a dozen or so mockeries to compile a "best-of" list for the entire forums, which ones would you choose. Posting anything that's simply "good" or that you personally liked for some reason that isn't applicable to the majority of the userbase just wastes space, since I'd say the good mockeries outnumber the duds at least two to one and there are currently over seven hundred of those bastards archived on the boards. What we're trying to do here is pick out the top two or three percent of all of those.

Something else to keep in mind is that when you post recommendations for mockeries you think should be included in the list (read: the one in the first post), you're doing just that: posting a recommendation. You needn't bother formatting your posts like you expect them to be copy/pasted into the list, because I'll just rewrite the descriptions anyway to preserve the continuity in the writing style. When you post a recommendation, write it as if you were scripting a sales pitch. I am the head museum curator, and you are the representative of an unknown artist whose job it is to convince me to add his/her work to the collection of pieces on display. Assume I've never read what you're promoting and provide me with every single detail and bit of background info necessary to convince me that what you're selling deserves to be placed alongside the best of the absolutely fantastical, magnificent, orgasm-inducing best.

I don't want to sound like Mr. Elitist Prick slamming everybody's taste in humor here, I just want to get the idea across that the filter here is extremely thick because it has to be. There is a lot more material backlogged in the FFM section than most people probably think about, and if I post everything that just gets over that "hey this is pretty funny" step, then I'll have links to eighty reviews up by the end of the month. And having a list of highlights become too expansive just defeats the whole purpose.


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post Jul 10 2011, 12:21 AM
Why, thank you so much for the recommendation, TK. I'm glad you enjoyed it. smile.gif

Would Kagome's Secret Fetish fall into that category, MoA? It is one of the most popular mockeries/hilariously bad stories on here, after all...


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post Jul 10 2011, 12:33 AM
Hey, cool, you fnally made the thread!


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post Jul 10 2011, 03:40 AM
QUOTE (Master of AFTER @ Jul 10 2011, 09:52 AM)
Leeeeeemme stop everybody right there.  While I'm excited about the enthusiasm this thread has generated, I think its intention has been slightly misinterpreted.  Please do not use this thread as a bulletin board to link mockeries you think are pretty decent, or ones that you were personally involved in and want to advertise.

This thread is called "The Essentials" for a reason.  The purpose of this topic being here is to give special recognition to mockeries that carry some kind of significance for the community.  By that, I mean they were unusually ambitious in scale, the first to exhibit the work of an infamous author, the result of a large collaborative effort, exceptionally popular among members, etc.
*

If I elaborate a little on my own mock, does that count as a thing I shouldn't do? Because while Ducky was so nice and recommended my mock of Shinji's Nightmare Cataclysm here, I sorta feel the need to explain what the deal with this fanfic is and why I consider it so "special", so that nobody has to slog through the 26 very long chapters I already mocked. This would not be self-indulgent wankery, I would simply talk about what makes the fanfic and it's author so infamous and unique.


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post Jul 10 2011, 04:05 AM
I'm already well aware of the history behind Shinji's Nightmare Cataclysm. Actually, I was planning on adding that to the list once you got a bit closer to finishing it. If you'd like to say your piece anyway, go ahead.

I should probably clarify that people can recommend mockeries they've been personally involved with, just as long as they have a better reason for doing so besides "Hey, look what I did!"


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post Jul 10 2011, 04:36 AM
QUOTE (Master of AFTER @ Jul 10 2011, 02:05 PM)
I'm already well aware of the history behind Shinji's Nightmare Cataclysm.  Actually, I was planning on adding that to the list once you got a bit closer to finishing it.  If you'd like to say your piece anyway, go ahead.
*

I see, thank you very much.

I shall be brief, then. Simply put, Shinji's Nightmare Cataclysm is the worst fanfic I have ever laid eyes upon. It's author, Psychostorm, wrote it and several other stories like it in order to troll everyone ever. It is full of bad writing, grammatical errors, juvenile humor, disgusting sexscenes, pedophilia, rape, necrophilia, incest, scat, gore, retarded crap, pisses on the canon of Warhammer 40k more than Matt Ward ever could, is a godawful piece of shit, the worst thing to happen to literature since the dawn of history... and I don't like it.


--------------------
I have had a vision. It has been revealed to me by the secret chiefs of the world that I am sexier than Buddha and harder than Jesus. I cannot die.
Joan (requesting my drawings): I'LL PAY YOU
IN ORAL SEEEX
Paragon: I will literally pay you in oral sex if you go on a call and sing that entire song [Little Girls by Oingo Boingo] for us and record it
Scream: Welp guess its my turn to owe Max a IOU blowjob
Paragon: I think Max is rapidly becoming the new pimp of PA
Shane: Max for realest nigga of 2013
TigerEyes: No means yes and yes means anal.
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