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> A Rose By Any Other Name, Seems like Batman should utilize a chastity belt instead.
Post #21

I'm very concerned.

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post Apr 28 2017, 04:16 PM
The Joker is still back, has still made both Batman and Superman his bitch, and is apparently prepping for a road trip. Let see if we can ridicule this trash enough to regain some sanity by the end of it. Hereís Chapter 19, A New Menace Part 7 (Meanwhile).

Harley sat alone in the bathroom, her eyes welling with tears. Wet gray and black streaks cut deeply across her cheeks. Her voice was broken and her body racked with tormenting pain. She sat on the bathtub edge and pulled a blade out of her bra.

Any lady whose bra underwire once snapped can attest to having lived out this scene.

Poison Ivy was walking through her Arkham City home looking for her dear friend when she heard whispers from her plants. "She's where?" She nodded then her eyes widened and she ran, her shirt whipping back and forth as her speed increased dramatically. "Harley!" She kicked the door down and her vines grabbed her and pulled her down, restraining her. "What are you doing?"

Good question, I want to know that too. This is a tired and nonsensical repeat of the last time we saw you two, except you were both content to lounging at Wayne Manor. Why the fuck are we here and doing this again?

"I can't take it Red, Mistah J and Bats. I love um both...I can't choose and now they both hate me!" She resisted but the vines tightened.

Hold the fuck on, you KNOW that Joker is still alive? Is the author so lazy to write an actual story that he just injected omniscience here and there to get to the climax?

"They don't hate you." She walked to Harley and knelt down, "Well Joker might, but Batman loves you. And me." She sat down and stroked Harley's cheek. "Why do you think we are still alive?

Yeah, letís not forget that had Bruce not loved you, heíd have snapped both your necks after having had sex with you Ė because thatís the only inferred reason as your lives were never in danger and saved as a result of Batman, you crazy vegetable. This author is prepping for a Ďchoiceí for these bimbos, but he has realized they actually have no true reason to love him and is making shit up as a result!

And we both love him Harley."

"But this is Mistah J's baby...and Batsy's kid was taken from us."

~"So it is Joker's little devil."~ "That doesn't mean anything."

Yeah, especially since youíre probably going to cause her to have an abortion next time you want to jab plant vines into her, like you did Catwoman when she angered you.

"Yes it does." the vines released her and she sat up, "Joker will take this baby and Batman will hate me and so will Joker. And Batman will take the baby and Joker will kill me and then what will happen to baby?"

Attached Image

I just donít care anymore. This contrived, confused, directionless, banal, nonsensical and all around fetish-catering soap opera is beyond my ability to grasp any longer. The author wants the angst sprinkled on top of his bimbo desert, so he can savor the flavor of how dedicated and wholesomely head-over-heels they are for his Batman-replacement self-insert persona. Iíll ride with this crazy train, but I wonít acknowledge it as anything beyond forced drama anymore

"I'm so sorry Harley."

"Why are you apologizing Red?" Harley's innocence was showing and her eyes were adorably large.

"I brought you into this. Me and Batman were fine but then I wanted a baby and I thought of you since I can't get pregnant."

ĒMy first thought was getting Batman pregnant, of course, but then the authorís dick sort of turned flaccid.Ē

"I knew what it entitled, and I loved every minute of the fun we three had."

"Then Joker kidnapped us with Twoface-"

It was a battle like no other, too incredible to even be described when it happened 13 chapters ago. Batman, like a lightweight at an Oktoberfest, had fallen into a coma from a brief threeway, leaving the lone and brave manservant to defend his masterís wenches from the two arch villains of Gotham. Like an angry god the butler descended upon the would-be kidnappers, defending the damsels that had been rendered helpless without the authorís cock-puppet watching over them. The clash of terrifying might, the awe-inspiring onslaught in this tremendous battle of good and evil left all news reporters fear-struck at the thought of reporting the damages of Wayne Manor in the papers. Alas, Alfredís dominance ended when he was caught underneath a piece of rubble, defeated, leaving anyone unable to imagine his injuries as per the authorís eternally piss poor narration skills!!

"What did Harvey want?"

Yes, what did the Sirs Not Appearing In This Fanfic want?

Ivy turned and looked at her with eyes that told the story, but again Harley's innocence was there. "Harvey toyed with my body for three months, raping me when ever he wanted to blow a load.

Wow, the staff at Arkham Asylum is more corrupt than even the Joker bothered to mention, seeing as you and your kidnappers were all reported to be back there after Bruce woke up from his nap. This fanfic is a nebula of plot holes!

He would flip a coin and decide whether to cum in my face or my pussy. Sometimes he wouldn't clean me off for days and he cum would crust and I felt like I was turning into some kind of cumstone. And it wasn't like he was good at all. Most of the time he would last two, three minutes and then blow."

The fact, that you let your green waifu live through your guilty pleasure kink material by utilizing Two-Face as the perpetrator, tells a deeper story about you than youíd probably wish it did, author.

She sat down. "A few times I insisted I blow him or he free me and It took ten times for me to be free."

"Men are pigs."

"Most are."

"But what about me and the baby?"

Holy non-sequitur, Harley, your friend just told you about a three month long rape spree with the most unbelievable conclusion, because the author was more concerned with wiping off his keyboard. Unless youíre ahead of schedule in giving birth Ė AGAIN Ė have some fucking empathy, will you?

"Well the Baby must survive, it is innocent, we aren't."


"You need to stay here at all times until the baby is born."

ĒI mean, where else could we go and hide? Itís not like Batman has a completely secure and hidden cave or something like that, right?Ē

"Ok..." Harley frowned but nodded sadly."

Poison Ivy walked crawled over to Harley and smiled.

"Red?" Harley's eyes sparkled and she giggled, "Are you gonna do what I think you gonna do?"

ĒI always loved your Zoidberg impressions, they are the best!Ē

"Yupo." Poison Ivy tore Harley's panties and the vines held Harley as some began to tickle her tight holes. Ivy stood up and began to lick and suck on Harley's wet heat as the vines continued to tickle and prod her tight ass.

I knew the author couldnít keep it in his pants any longer. What other reason would we have to go back to these two sluts, besides forcing in exposition to support the Jokerís outrageous claims in the previous chapter, than a gratuitously sub-par lesbian sex scene?

"OH! RED!" Her voice cried from terror and pleasure, she was surprised and the pleasure soon took over and she began begging for much more. "Pound me Red!"

"You got it Quinn." With a wave of her hand the long slimy tentacle of a vine began to ooze up her tight ass and suddenly harden into the shape of a flexible, thick dick.

Ugh, vegan porn.

Ivy began to let smaller vine from her mouth enter Harley hot dripping wet pussy.

I wasnít being serious about the Zoidberg impression, author!!

The smaller vines twirled around and slowly tickled her rough G-spot as others rubbed and seemed to suck on Quinn's delicious moist clit.

Unless this author equips Batman with a different kind of utility belt, how exactly is his flesh pole going to compare to this?

"Red!" Harley's voice was breaking up as each pump from the thick vine pounded her from behind and Ivy took care of the front. ~"IVY! I can't believe she is doing this! I love the feeling but I hate the vines. I want it to be Bats and Mister J!"~

~ĒAnd I want them to hold hands, and kiss, and wear funny hats, and give me a pony!Ē~


"Well then." Ivy closed her eyes and let her own tongue delve deep into the wet moistness. The thick white cream oozed onto Ivy's tongue and she moaned from the deliciousness of Harley's cum.

Thank you for confirming my suspicion that youíve never actually slept with a girl, author.

Harley went completely insane and began screaming for more.

I guess the poor girl was just faking her mental state in Arkham up until now,

"Oh! Ivy!" ~"I'd rather it be Mistah J pounding my ass. And Bat's tongue. But that'll never happen now." Harley imagined being in Joker's 'fun', tied up by her wrists as he slammed his hard cock deep in her ass, pulling her hair hard, making her yell. Him biting her neck tenderly then right as she enjoyed it pound his dick all in and bite hard. Making her cum a little from the overwhelming intoxication of the playtime.

Joker already sounds way more dedicated and passionate about sex than Batman has ever done in this fanfic. It kind of kills me, though, that this isnít involving jack-in-the-box dildos or laughing gas gag-balls. For shame.

Then she imagined Batman walking over in nothing but his cowl and cape.

Despite being a fanfic, I think this porn parody movie plagiary is getting a bit out of hand, author.

He wrapped the his cape around her as her arms were released and she jumped up, wrapped her legs around his waist and lower herself onto his cock.~

"You seem to be loving this more then usual."

ĒI mean, last time I did this to you, you were so bored out of your mind that the author didnít even bother including the scene in this fanfic.Ē

"Please don't stop Red."

"OK." Ivy continued licking her clit and the deepness of her moist wet pussy.

"Red! Please let me eat you out while my ass and pussy get pounded."

"Geez." Ivy stopped a second. "You are either really horny or you are trying to forget yourself."


Do you know what else youíre forgetting? Everything that has to do about the current absence of your boyfriend!!

"Ok. I understand." Ivy laid back and suddenly Harley was forced down into Ivy's perfectly trimmed pussy. "Now please me."

Harley didn't hesitate as Ivy had her strung up by her legs and arms. Suspended barely off the ground, enough to hover over Ivy's bush and allow her pussy to be vigorously pounded as her ass was pounded by the vines.

Constantly speeding jackhammers and pistons are all this author can write about in these sex scenes. This is going to result in a different kind of rug-burn, Iím telling you.

She couldn't help but moan. ~"OH GOD YES!" Harley imagined riding Batman, while Joker pounded her tight ass. Ivy kissing Joker and squatting over Batman so Batman and Harley could eat her every way they could. Joker pounded hard, Batman began bucking his hips and Ivy pulled Harley's hair to deepen her sucking and licks. Just then Harley began to feel them all shake as Joker covered her back with his cream, Batman filled her pussy, and Ivy glazed Batman as her delicious fruit flavored pussy released her nectar all over Batman's cowl and face, and onto Harley's tongue to drink.~

And while this author finally managed to wedge whatever RULE34 images he last jacked off to into this mess, via an inception-style fantasy of his own, may I ask what the point even is? I can accept arguments for randomly injected sex scenes as attempted evidence of two or more characters being so overcome with lust for one another that it has to be confirmed, fulfilled, wholesome and lovey-dovey and whatnot. This is just a masturbation fantasy about a fictional characterís masturbation fantasy. Had she at least been phasing out the Jokerís cock in favor of Batmanís as it progressed, it would actually count as shitty character development, believe it or not. But the authorís spank-bank needed to make a full withdrawal with how backed up he has become from his plot, making this scene the fanficís most irrelevant one yet.

"HARLEY!" Ivy began to moan out of control as Harley began to pay attention. Harley had broken free from the vines and was pulling Ivy's fruit in close and tight,

Is 'vagina' such a crude word that you absolutely have to give me ambivalent groceries to choose from instead, author?

Harley's tongue deep enough to barely touch Ivy's G-spot. The floor was soaked from the red haired seductress's nectar and the vines drenched with Harley's juices and cum. "You have never eaten me like that before."

ĒThe trick is to peal your banana first.Ē

"I don't know, I guess I just wanted it so bad."

Ivy stood up and her legs shook and she fell back down. "I haven't cum since Bruce fucked me. Not even my vines could do anything for me...but you made me squirt all over you."

"I like your taste."

Ivy turned away, "I know. It is fruity flavored." ~"That was some of the best cunnilingus I ever got. Her tongue was rubbing my G."~

You are a marvel at understanding and depicting the female mindset, author. Stellar writing, bravo. Itís like they truly pride themselves by being nothing but oozing juice-balloons chatting about your kink fallout.

Ivy grabbed Harley, and pulled herself up and used Harley to walk to her room. "You ok?"

"My legs...they went numb from you."


"Harley, honey...do it to me again...please." Ivy kicks the door, shutting it and jumps on the bed.

Meanwhile, thick fog covers Gotham Bay and coming from it a horrific muffled cackle. "OH HONEY! I'M HOME!"

And we just had to end on the most tired sitcom catchphrase in history, spoken to no one but the readers themselves. Iím surprised I didnít hear the dramatic musical sting, thatís how fucking forced this feels.

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I have been so busy lately and still am but I've decided to try and crank out a few chapters per story each week, maybe start a new story. Anyway, Love you all my loyal readers and make sure to comment.

This story has the highest favorite and follower count out of all this authorís stories, reaching the lower end of three digits. That is disheartening when everything going on in this story is a nonsensical mess of replacement actors in discount Halloween costumes, who are half-assed reenacting some swingerís clubís sexual LARPing sessions. We are now just about half-way through this incredibly long insult to fiction. What more atrocities can this thing spring on us, I dread to think.

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Post #22

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post Apr 28 2017, 06:18 PM
When's the miscarriage angle supposed to get here?

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Post #23

I'm very concerned.

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Joined: 3-January 13
From: Denmark
Member No.: 787
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post Jun 16 2017, 06:48 AM
QUOTE (truthordeal @ Apr 29 2017, 04:18 AM) *
When's the miscarriage angle supposed to get here?
Not yet, if ever, but boy do I wish it would double down on its wangst torture and fake struggles for the sex-fixated hero, because this chapter has enough of it to descend into self-parody. Here's Chapter 20, A New Menace Part 8 (Homeward Bound)

"Bruce!"A kind sweet yet untrustable voice said.

But, hey, it knows his secret identity, so whatís not to trust?

Suddenly Batman felt light and he was laid down on the ground. "Wake up!" His eyes opened to see Superman and Catwoman. "Bruce are you ok?"

"I'll be fine." Bruce removed his cowl and felt his cracking dried skin."Why are you here Selina?"

She has become the unexpected, unforeshadowed, out-of-nowhere vehicle to haul your ass out of Villain Sue torture porn territory, now that the author has had a lesbian sex scene to remind him why he writes this insufferable mess.

"I'll take you to the hospital. And because you need help right now."

"No." He stood and felt all his weight being torn down. "I have to get back to Gotham."

"No Bruce." Superman said as he pulled Bruce near, "You need to rest. You were injured when you came here, now your almost crispy and hurt."

ĒAnd I seem fine for some reason despite day long exposure to kryptonite, meaning I could solve everything in a heartbeat, since no one even seems to be around to keep us here.Ē

"But my child!" Batman pushed Superman back. "I'll take you down if I have to!"

"You need medical attention." Superman went in to grab him when Batman jumped back and using a lead smoke bomb, he disappeared and ran as quickly as possible.

He must have been hiding that one up his ass. Iím only impressed it didnít go off during his torture session.

Batman turned the corner around the warehouse he was captive in and Superman tried again but Batman using explosive get punched Superman and knocked him down and ran into the shadows. He found a dead guard and searched his corpse for a key and again Superman appeared. "Leave me alone Clark!" Batman dodge and felt his knee crack as he landed wrong. He collapsed down and stood back up in even more pain.

Which back-water planet in the stupid galaxy did this author fly in from? I get he wants to stroke his bat-sonaís ego of overcoming a struggle, but you donít get there by opposing a trusted ally with heat beams and invulnerable skin, who should have flown off and done the job already. Everyone in this fanfic are insultingly stupid.

"Bruce. This will kill you."

"If I must die to save my son, so be it." Batman used another smoke bomb but charged Superman and used a combo of punches with explosive gel. Then disappeared into another garage like storage. "Found it."

The engine roared and the beast of a vehicle exploded out of hiding. "System, auto Pilot Gotham. System, medical treatment, intense care." The Batmobile, damaged but still functioning since the shadow clan repaired it slightly but left before they finished, blazed off and began heading towards Gotham.

You might as well have told me he found a prancing unicorn that warped him through a rainbow portal, author. You reduced the batmobile to an inoperable, smoldering wreck Ė TWICE Ė and now youíre telling me the villains are actively using their resources to put it back together, like a turncoat pit-crew?!

Batman was yanked to the back of the vehicle and put under a sedative to numb the pain but keep him conscious.

The machines began to tear off the uniform and reveal his extremely injured body, burnt and cut all over. His body writhed in pain as the machines began to perform precise incisions to remove metal shards from the body of this broken man.

Wow, itís almost like he could have thrown Superman into this car instead of leaving Metropolis to suffer two extended hours of terror as he operated himself. I know you wrote yourself into a corner at your uninspired torture sequence, author, but your contrite backpedaling in order to rush to the climax is getting even more unconvincing with each new excuse as to why we still have a story.

Superman finally healing from his wounds, now standing fully in the sunlight, lifts Catwoman and flew after the Batmobile. Superman lands on the top of the Batmobile. He smashed the side window of the vehicle and Catwoman quickly slipped in and began to work past the machines to Batman in his pitiful state. She removed his cowl and cape as she grabbed a wet sponge and cleaned his blood stained face.

Because itís all about the authorís mask-wearing self-insert. Not the people who are dead, not the villains on the loose, not the cities that are burning, not even the baby thatís in the balance. Just Batman and how his struggle is now overinflated by friends becoming foes because of contrived, clueless writing decisions the author thinks clever.

The machines moved and bumped her to cut the torn and soiled Batsuit. It was harsh and Bruce groaned in pain. Catwoman moved quickly and turned instructed the machines to tend to the wounds on his arms.

"What...are you...d-doing here?" Bruce mumbled.

"Taking care of the man I love." She removed her mask and smiled tenderly.

Iíll allow it, if but only to highlight the fact that this bimbo-portrayed author eye-candy was the only one to even show up, the other candidates Ė his wife and his baby-maker - being too busy confessing their love instead.

"You...you don't n-need-" he stopped and groaned as he abdominals tensed on his cracked and broke ribs.

"Yes I do. And Bruce...please..." She began to tear up, eyes watering, voice cracking. "Please don't do this!" She sobbed slightly, "I love you and I can see that if you continue you will die. Joker is not playing around this time. He wants Gotham, and he wants you dead. Please!" She began to sob and grabbed onto Bruce's damaged injured body.

By all means, squeeze the dying man a bit more. Iím serious.

"I-I must...It's my...son." He said softly. "And as a father...I would gladly...give my life...i-if I can save my son."

ĒHad it been your son, however, Iíd gladly sit this one out.Ē

"Then make a child with me...so that way I can always have you." Her eyes were bright, her cheeks stained and mascara running. She kissed his body tenderly, making Bruce moan in pain and pleasure.

"How?" He said tenderly as his body tensed again.

Oh, for fuck sake, I deliberately ignored the potential joke of you guys fucking and the still very passive Superman hurling you into the sun in disgust Ė because I thought even this author wasnít so obtuse as to go there right now!

"Like this." She removed Bruce's tights and looked at him lovingly and lustfully. "I'll do the work, you just make sure to give me everything."

"You...are...s-s-so bad." Bruce said teasingly but quietly.

ĒEverything is at stake, I could contact Alfred, or Nightwing, or Robin, call on any of my allies, track Jokerís movements, or even savor every reserve of energy I have left for when it really matters, but, yeah, hanky panky does sound like the better choice.Ē

"I know." She slowly unzipped her outfit revealing she had been naked underneath the entire time.

Oh, look, the author still thinks thatís a surprise to anyone.

She began to remove the outfit slowly.

"No...leave the outfit on." Bruce stained a smile.

She giggle shyly and looked away. "Now who's bad?" She turned back to her injured love, and dropped down low and began to slowly lick from the base of Bruce's meat. Her wet soft tongue soaking him from base to tip. Her soft lips pressed against his hard cock and kissed it lovingly, twirling her tongue around the shaft and up to the rim of the head. She smiled with a naughty grin.

This is not the type of climax that should be building right now! Even when the author, bankrupt in ideas as he is, has cobbled together a genuine original turn of events, he canít even keep focus for what should be the climbing payoff of an eight-part chapter sequence.

"You are a really naughty kitten." Batman said as he watched her work..

"Meow." Cat woman giggled again and slowly slid the head of Batman's cock into her warm wet mouth. Her soft silk tongue twirling around the head and up and down the shaft. Her nails began to dig a little into Batman's chest as she let the large cock slide deeper into her hot wet mouth. Her cheeks strained as she sucked and licked the massive meat in her mouth.

Well, I hope she likes barbequed sausage, because this author went out of his way to vaguely roast his self-insertís front, making the last description of his body be on par with jerky.

"Selena." Bruce moaned as the build up of pure ecstasy continued.

Selena felt Bruce's cock throb as he got closer to releasing. ~Yes. Drown me with your cum. Please cum for me.~ She began to suck harder and twirled her tongue around the pulsing head

Of course they both forgot midway why they even excused this sex scene. Of course. How many baboons do you circulate between to outsource the writing of this trash for you, author?

"YES!" Bruce's back arched slightly as he was over come with pleasure and ecstasy. He released his load into Selena's mouth making her moan loudly from pleasure.

Can we at least agree that a food baby is not an actual baby you can remember anyone by after their death?

She slowly pulled the dribbling pulsing cock out of her mouth and streaks of his cum slowly slipped out and down to her chin. She looked at Bruce lustfully, closed her eyes and swallowed the entire load. "Oh yes Bruce! So much! I love it! This hungry kitten thanks you for the meal."

And Superman is ever the voyeur, stuck where the author left him, prying open the batmobileís window.

She began to clean herself off and then Bruce as he slowly drifted off. She sat down in the driver's seat of the Batmobile, her body still exposed and wet. She looked out the window and saw the chaos of Gotham. "Home sweet home."

Why, itís like youíve never even left. I mean that literally, since the last time anything happened in Gotham, Arkham City left Batman in a month-long time-out. The entire world could be in ruin for all I know.

Sorry for the delay everyone. College life is difficult and is only gonna get worse. So I've been trying to work on my stories during my free time.

Well, you canít really masturbate during your classes, author. That would be almost half as appalling as this story, after all.

As usual if anyone has any comments, suggestions, or requests, my message box is always open.

My first request is for you to make a time machine. I hope you have enough brain cells to figure out what my next request would be.

With the recent announcement that the forum will close late August, I will double my efforts to get this entire thing mocked before the curtains close. As this fanfic seems to have been finished, I will try to take it out. That won't mean that it will be the last thing I'll ever mock, mind you. I'll find some other cesspool to call home and give bad fanfics their dues. But for now, I'll keep going strong till the bitter end.

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Post #24

I'm very concerned.

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post Jun 20 2017, 02:21 PM
Prepare yourselves, itís not getting any less dumb in the near future. Hereís Chapter 21, Returned Pains

Gotham, city of crime, poverty, and suffering. And home of the richest man in the mid-west, Bruce Wayne. But also home of the greatest criminal minds, Joker, The Riddler, Mr Freeze. Gotham, The City of Corruption. And it is now a war zone.

With that edgy, pretentious sell, itís a step up, honestly.

The Batmobile roared as it passed Arkham Asylum . In the driver's seat, Catwoman sits her leotard unzipped revealing her shining sleek body. Her eyes fixed on the carnage that Joker has unleashed. Wayne tower burning, the GCPD under siege, the schools filled with innocent children surrounded by the hordes of asylum escapees.

Yeah, but the author is letting the kids ogle Catwomanís sultry body through the carís broken window for free, before these constantly abnormally focused and organized escapees do whatever they do after playing ring-around-the-school-grounds, so itís all good.

The engine suddenly falls deaf as it stops at City Hall, or in this case, the remains of what was called City Hall.

Superman landed next to the Batmobile and Catwoman zipped up her outfit. "Selena, we need to get Bruce to safety." The Kryptonian said.

ĒAnd only Bruce. My apathy for the world at the loss of Metropolis has me default as honorary cock-sucker for the authorís self-insert. Boy, those kids sure are loud when they are gutted alive, arenít they?ď

"I realized that." She walked through the damaged machinery still operating on the broken body of Batman. "He can't move right now though...We should have kept him in Metropolis."

"Selena, we need to worry about the now, not the was."

Is that your thoughts on all the grammar assignments you were supposed to learn from, author?

"Somehow I feel better." She turned and smiled at the hero. "We need to keep the inmates out for a little longer. Then we can move him into a safe zone."

"How are we gonna do that?"

"You take to the sky. Destroy some of the empty buildings so they block the streets surrounding us. That will slow them down."

Yeah, sure, I guess public property damages is the best thing the Man of Steel can do, in order to help ward off whatever random crooks the author wants to pretend is after you at the moment. We all know only Batman can handle those guys, after all.

"Ok." He nodded then leaped into the air and the sound of his Heat Vision blasted loud enough to shake some bottles in the vehicle. "Timber!" Catwoman looked out the window and watched as inmates that discovered their location fled as the buildings around them began collapsing.

"Good that should buy us a little time." Catwoman sat down and sighed when suddenly the sound of a missile roar past the Batmobile and exploded above. Selena stood up and saw a group of Shadow Soldiers, she turned and saw the limp body of the Superman land more then fifty feet away, covered in the green dust of Kryptonite.

Oh, for fuck sake, they need to have literal tons of that stuff for there to be any of it left at this point. The author is like that insolent kid on the playground making up every play-pretend circumstance in the book for why the game of cops and robbers goes the way he want it to, only with less originality.

"No." She exited the Batmobile and saw the carnage and smelled the smoke collapsed buildings, and the screams of innocent people.

Jerking off to your pretentious scene descriptions this late into the story is a mistake author, since the latest bit of carnage in the area was caused by Superman!

"Catwoman!" The Elite soldier commanding the soldiers revealed himself. "Is not all this so wonderful?!" his voice cracked as he shouted. "I see so much carnage...and I can't help but get excited! I can't help but get so horny!" The man ran at Selena as he began to reveal a small ax. "I can't help but want to fuck your brains out!" He swung the ax and missed as he stumbled and turned quickly. "Live or dead. You will be fuck by me yo fucking bitch!"

Usually a fanfic authorís inner demons has more restraint, author, but youíve been regurgitating nothing but the desires of your loins in this fanfic, up until you mostly distracted yourself with plot, so I guess you have a need to get this off your lap.

He charged again and Selena dodged but the ax slashed across her left shoulder. She yelped in pain and her blood sprayed from her arm as if a water balloon filled with her blood exploded on her.

Donít be cartoonish just because you get off on gore and bloodied boobs, author. When your description need to point out how unreal it is, no one is impressed.

The powder from the explosion still settling, landed in her wound and her lungs inhaling it.

She gripped her arm and winced. "Not a chance asshole."

Well, of course not, since he decided for no reason and without even an order that as the leader, he was not to be assisted by the on-looking mass of soldiers he came here with. Who is this guy, anyway? He didnít even get a black sheet to describe himself with.

Suddenly a flash of what seemed like memory cut across her mind. Flashes of shadows and light blinked in her eyes. She saw a tall strong man dressed in a nice suit. He smelled of vodka and cigars and he began to pin her down and begin to toy with her body. Reality returned in time for the Feline Anti-hero to dodge a swing towards her throat. However now she was starting to see the man from her dream-memory flash in and out with the man holding the ax.

Oh, for fuck sake, you have to wedge in a made-up rape flashback just to get your jollies off, while pretending you arenít inserting yourself into the character roles as you are getting off on this, author? What disgust me most about this debase and self-serving indulgence, however, is how pretentious you attempt to portray what is merely a hallucination, and you couldnít even bring in Scarecrow for the part.

"I'll be gentle if you just stop fighting it!" Their voices spoke out of unison but layered. She saw yet another dream-memory but layered on top of reality.

We know what you are getting at already, author. Your insistent explanation breaking the immersion for us and her in this indicates, that you know less about how to present the trope than your readers do.

A dark alley is in her sights but underneath is the open area. When she moved the vision moved with her. She saw the tall man pinning an adolescent Selena against the wall, she looked about 17 years old. The bruting man choked her younger self and slammed her against the wall making Selena move back just enough that the ax slashed across her stomach harmlessly.

Well, typically you are invulnerable during cut-scenes. I think you and I need to have a talk about what Ďslashed acrossí means, author.

Reality snapped back and she struck the man across the cheek with her claw. The dream returned the the well dressed man now had the adolescent Selena crying as he sliced her stomach and began to tear at her clothing. Suddenly the Ax man slammed the blunt end of the Ax against Selena from the side. She hit the ground and saw the Brute mounting her. She looked to the side to the her adolescent self being cut and stripped by the tall man.

Apparently the author multitasks and needs to put on two rape scenes to get off right now. Whatís the point? Itís not going to mean anything, nor explain anything about these characters the author pretends exists in his made-up fantasies.

The ax man began to tear her clothing in the same fashion as the tall man.

Oh, was the 17-year-old version in a cat-suit, too?

She felt the pain of thick cock entering her but she was not bared enough.

And I feel the pain of bad grammar because the author was not educated enough.

She looked over and saw the adolescent Selena being raped violently. Her mind began to feel both the men violating her. The tall man and Selena's attacker swapping places constantly now.

Well, you are certainly raping something at the moment, author. Sad thing is that narratives have no right to press charges against you.

"I'll make you feel good if you let me." once again they spoke mimicking each other a few seconds apart.

Youíd think that this echoing perhaps would indicate itís the same guy, but Iím not convinced the author even considered that angle, instead just attempting to have edge and be deep.

"NO!" Selena's voice screamed as she felt young again but still her normal self. "I don't want it!" She felt the well dressed man grip her arms tighter as the Ax man bite her neck roughly.

The ax man stopped and tore the rest of her outfit top off and smiled, her adolescent self's attacker completely tore the cheap shirt and bra right off her body. "Fine then. You can die then." Their voices now a perfect unison.

Either a time-paradox is about to occur, or the author has already forgotten what the pretentious point was of this entire jerk-off session. Like everything else thatís been occurring up until now.

"Not...while I...am around." Selena saw Batman brutally injured suddenly swap places and become her injured boyfriend who had been shot when she was younger.

Oh, how interesting, well-established and very important to the overarching story. Whatís his name?

Batman returned and weakly charged at the man delivering a sharp kick to the legs of the brute tripping him enough for Selena to slam her knee into his groin making him explode with a painful fury. She pushed him off her and got up, running to her savior, who began to fall. She looked back and saw the well dressed man laying in the alley dead, her lover holding a handgun as he collapsed. And once again she was holding Batman who flickered into her lover long ago, "Selena. Get out of this mess. Keep out of it please." Their voices together, soothing and loving.

Dude, you had her express her eternal love while blowing Batman in his resurrected car, and its first now you even try to justify that these two should have easily excused chemistry by rape-vision coincidence? And where is the army of goons watching this shit unfold?!

"This is what I know though." She smiled faintly.

Yeah, I agree. Women only know about rape in this fanfic. That much is obvious.

"Please Selena...my love." Their hand gently touching her cheek as she held them up. "Get out of here Selena...It...is too dangerous."

ĒThatís of course why I made no objections to having you come along up until this point. My motivations kind of come and go with the authorís erections, you see.Ē

Suddenly the hand falls and her eyes open, the reality of memory disappearing and true reality restoring she realizes what had happened and she quickly tries to lift Batman to drag his dying body into the Batmobile.

We donít have time for yet another blowjob, guys. Or did you finally recall enough of your sex-ed lessons with that flashback on how to make a baby?

She sits him in the driver's seat and shuts the entrance. She collapsed next to him on the floor and checked his pulse, slow but stable. She leaned against the seat and closed her eyes. Her breath shaking as it escaped her lips. The first night of the War of Gotham had just only started, and she barely was surviving.

Meanwhile, Supermanís corpse was being rapidly picked apart by rape-happy asylum escapees currently wearing the still wet skin of innocent school children as funny, make-shift hats. You might find that gruesome, but can you point me to any better description in this entire fanfic?

"Bruce...we aren't gonna survive this." She said to the weakened hero as began fixing her destroyed outfit.

How would you know? You donít even know why you are here doing this shit. You just showed up. Is there even a plan? Where to go? Who to take out? This is Arkham Knight but without a semblance of coherency.

The ground shaking as explosions rang and the sky darkened with smoke. The sound of machine gun fire sang a hoarse lullaby of police and criminal combat. The buildings toppled and fell as rubble within the shifted and those trapped inside all across the city screamed in pain and fear then were silenced.

Flash. Wonder Woman. Martian Manhunter. Green Lantern. Oh, sorry, I was just busy counting all the A-list heroes that currently must be pleasurably lodged firmly up the authorís ass, since he hasnít had the decency to consider pulling them out and bringing them into this mess, especially when wanting to pretend this chaos is going to last days.

Catwoman removed her cowl and looked at her beloved Batman, his body riddled with wounds of barb wire, burns from fire and from electric. His skin dried, cracking,and covered in soot and smoke and dust. His lips bleeding, teeth broken, eyes swelling from bruises. But his face still calm and cold, stern even. She moved close to him and kissed his bloodied lips. "Bruce...I love you...I am sorry for this."

And then the third armor-penetrating rocket, easily deployed by the Shadow-fuckers, hit the car and reduced it to a smoldering wreck, leaving the scene as the perfect transition for the next chapter while symbolizing just how everything thatís ever going to happen doesnít matter in the slightest!

Hello Everybody. Sorry about the delay. Classes were taking up a lot of time, especially at the end of the Semester, but now I got some time, so I am gonna work on some more chapters.

Have you considered seeking counsel regarding your tendency to waste this hard earned commodity you call time?

Hopefully I'll be able to finish a few more before going back to campus, but I promise to get a lot more done. As for my other stories I'll be working on them soon and remember to review and check out my other stories. Thanks all

Fine. Iíll try to be a bit experimental, if but to distract myself. Iíll end off this and the coming chapters by judging a few of the other stories by their merit with a single, spit-fire mocking, cursory glance and quoted line. Itís more effort than youíre worth, DeamonPrince.

Title: The Hero
Series: Final Fantasy VII:

Quote: ďI killed a man.Ē Cloud felt the ground under him starting to give away.

If you could stop whining about that every time you earn EXP, Iíd really appreciate it, Cloud!

Title: Duel for Passion
Series: Pokťmon:

Quote: Fenrir leaned in close and whispered softly in her ear, "I want everything. I want you to be my girlfriend." He said, shyly yet holding a confidence. "And maybe somedayÖ My wife." His words shocked the aroused Leafeon.

ĒAnd then weíll have eggs, and our trainer will toss all our children into a daycare until we make a shiny. Iím really glad all this tame relationship bullshit is such a turn-on for you.Ē

Title: Lay it, Not Slay It
Series: The Elder Scrolls:

Quote: Sheogorath was anxiously watching the duo have sex, their hot passion exciting him. "You see, that is how you fuck. Make it mutual. Make it about pleasing each other, not yourself!"

And would the Daedric Prince of Madness please shower the author in the same wisdom when it comes to writing fanfics? Didnít think so.

You seem to have a fondness for forced, cheesy or all around fetish-serving melodrama, author. How you stomach yourself, Iíll never know.

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Post #25

I'm very concerned.

Group: Members
Posts: 608
Joined: 3-January 13
From: Denmark
Member No.: 787
Gender: Male

post Jun 26 2017, 03:44 AM
Now that Batman has returned to Gotham, are we in for some action? Some resolution? Even a single tidbit of information about what has been going on without him? Nope. It's a sex scene. Hereís Chapter 22, Recovery in Progress.

Bruce's eyes weakly opened to see the day in Gotham, the skies were gray and black. He looked down and saw a half naked Catwoman sleeping on his lap, and behind him an asthmatic Superman.

Ready to reinsert your dick into the bat-cowl costume for this one already, author? Itís not like your abysmal treatment of Superman even gave him a chance.

He leaned back in the seat, his body weak from the hell it had been through and only weakening still if he can't get help from the machines in the Batcave.

And how clever it was of you to program your car to consider City Hall as your home base, rather than your secret lair.

The Batmobile's mobile Med Ops station can only prolong the inevitable defeat of exhaustion, however, the Med Ops in the Cave could save his life and help him take on the recovering Joker.

How much longer are you going to milk this ego-stroking ďat deathís doorstepĒ survival bullshit trope, author? Bruce should be dead ten times over already with how you keep edging.

The caped crusader shambled out of the chair, waking Selena, "Bruce...what are you doing?"

"The Machine, I need medical attention." He lay on the table and activated the machine the machine began to sow his cuts and tend to his other wounds.

Excuse me, but did the Jokerís goons happen to transform the Batmobile into a Bat-RV?

"This can only help for a little bit, and only for minor injures..."He winced and hesitated in pain, "but the level of damage I've received, I only delay death until..." He winced again as the machine applied bandages to most of his body.

"So what...you are gonna go out into that and fight your way to Cave and hope Joker or the Laughing Shadow aren't there. What if Bane or Freeze finds you...then what. I can't bare to lose you Bruce. You are all I have now."

So stay here and do nothing, then. Do you really have to make everyone in this fanfic braindead, moaning, codependent self-insert-worshippers, author? There are only so many times they can pose a dainty hand to their forehead while bemoaning the already escalating premise.

"Selena, I'll be fine. I promise."

"Don't make a girl a promise that you can't keep." She said as she walked to the now bandaged Batman. She touched his cracking skin.

Okay, Iím getting tired of this shit. Author, have you even seen a burn wound? The skin burns away and leaves raw flesh, not this vapid human CrŤme brŻlťe.


"Bruce...I can't..." She closed her eyes and a tear fell.

Bruce moved and kissed her tenderly, his hands moving to grab her sides, pulling her closer, his sore body now realizing his intentions, concentrated on dulling the pain. His lips parted as their kiss deepened, his tongue dancing with hers in a playful but seductive flame.

People are dying. You are dying. I donít even think Superman is breathing, either, but sure, we still have time for you to fuck while the Joker still has your child and is destroying Gotham.

She released her emotions and her body began to heat up tears ran down her cheeks as their kiss continued, her hands undressing herself as Bruce feels her body, the slashes and bumps and scrapes from her confrontations. His bare hands feeling her soft skin of her stomach down to the fine, thin hairs of her sweet tasting pussy. Her tore and tattered outfit now completely removed, she began removing the rest of Bruce's outfit.

Itís a wonder why he even bothers putting it on, at this point.

Bruce pinning Selena to the wall broke the kiss to unbuckle his pants and let them fall with the no hesitation, he looked to the side and pressed a button, shutting the 2 inch thick lead lined doors on Superman locking him in the room alone, allowing them to be alone.

Where are we?!

Selena dropped to her knees, "Bruce. I missed his taste. She slowly slid his cock in to her mouth, allowing it to sit in the back of her throat throbbing as she sucked on the entire monster of a cock. Bruce laid back on the Operating table and pushed away the machines while holding the stare with Selena as she moved her head to allow her thick wet tongue to twist and lick from the base to the tip of his beast.

I swear, this author would write a sex scene during a funeral. He probably will, if they donít decontaminate the operating room after this.

"Oh Selena." He grabbed her hair and forced her down deep throating her viciously, his moans muffling hers. He pulled her up allowing her to gasp for air. "Get your sweet pussy up here. I need your Pie."

Who is writing this thing and what have they done with the author? Pie? And here I thought that Ďcock brothí would be the weirdest sexual slang in this fanfic. I mean, the entire word choice, grammar, and style has altered itself noticeably from the previous sex scene, too, itís that apparent.

"Oh honey." She crawled up his body letting her tongue drag from his ball sack, up his thick cock and along his chest. She kissed his lips and slowly, and weakly dragged her pussy along his body, her juices smearing onto his body until her sweet Pie was right above his mouth.

Time to say grace, I guess.

Bruce reached up and grabbed her waist pulling her down so his open mouth could engulf her entire pussy. His tongue slowly entered her, feeling her wet flesh with his thick tongue. He slowly began to lap her pussy. Her juices flowing into his mouth,dripping onto his chin.

Donít forget to use your napkin.

She reached down and massaged his head, forcing him to lick her deeper by lifting it slightly. And with every lick, flick or rub from his thick tongue she let out a slight moan. Suddenly he began to suck ever so slightly on her tender sweet clit.

Wait, was that on the menu? I only thought that side-dish came with the clam.

She let out a lewd yelp, and her heat began to quiver as she twirled his tongue in an "O" around her clit and in between her lips. "Yes Bruce! Oh more!" She began to cry out as he continued to lap up her juices. His tongue felt the deep rough muscles inside her. Her claws dug into his shoulders and she yelped again.

And even when Bruceís already tormented body is used as a scratching post, this author fails at giving me any written indication as to what they are even feeling. They are like two puppets going at it through tangled strings, mechanically responding the way the author wants them to instead of explaining their pleasure.

She threw her head back and moaned as Bruce reached up and began to massage her tender ample breasts and she forced her pussycat further down to force his tongue and licks deeper. She began to scream and tighten her thighs around his head slightly as he held her down and continued furiously to lap and lick and tender rub her delicious pussy.

I think itís ideal that the pie gets addressed as a feline creature at this point, since these narrated observations are starting to sound like a nature documentary.

Her voice cracking as the pleasure began to overwhelm her. "Please. Bruce, no more. It feels to good!"

Are these women even too helpless to release themselves from sexual torment, when they are on top and mashing the self-insert to their snatch?!

She cried out as the pleasure began to make her body shake and her muscles tense up and her thighs squeezed him as he began to slowly form shapes and letters on her clit.

Good, itís about time this dumbass learnt his ABCs.

Her clit now tender and sensitive each lick makes her cry out from the pure ecstasy and sweet pleasure.

Her body now super tense and her thighs completely cutting off all sound from Bruce by covering his ears with them and squeezing so tightly.~"Oh Selena. I love you so much. I'm sorry for everything."~

Sorry for what, exactly? For not bringing her along to Metropolis? For being tortured? For having forgotten to contact your wife?!

His tongue began to play with her clit and then deep inside her then back out to play with her clit again. She was screaming but Bruce could only hear her heart beat rapidly pounding in her thighs as her body releases the pressure and Bruce begins to be flooded by the flavor of her overflowing juices and cream.

Do you want a bowl of cereal with that, too? You really need to get a girlfriend and learn a thing or two about ejaculates, author.

Her voice now loudly screaming as she releases he continues to lap it up and she slumps over as the pleasure is too much for her. Bruce lets her slide down so she lies on his cream and juice covered chest. "I love you Selena."

"Bruce. I love you too...I'm sorry for everything I have done."

Apology accepted, but Ė aside from having sex with this waste for brains Ė what have you done, exactly?!

"I know."

"Do you think we will survive this one?"


Attached Image

Of course thatís not true, but I can live with my own momentary delusion if this author has to force-feed us his.

His voice is rough and sullen.

"Well then I want to enjoy my last hours with you."

Maybe you get a few more hours, if you cared to cure Superman in the other room!

She slowly slides her tender pussy down so its quivering and desire to feel him inside her is met. She moans softly as she lets his entire cock enter her.

And for his next trick, Batman shall turn this meat pie into a cream pie! Either that, or this author think it has already happened.

She grips his hair, the feeling from his tongue's dance still resonating on her clit. She moves her body up and then quickly down. Repeating the motion over and over until her overwhelming pleasure forces her to scream and cry out. Bruce's cock throbbing again and again with every motion.

The authorís stilted narration decreasing in quality at every stroke.

Their lips meet and they begin a dance of tongues.

Now do-si-do to the uvula, switch partner with the nearest tonsil, and try not to dip in-between the teeth.

Both of them moaning into the kiss as Selena moves faster and harder until she throws herself back and grabs her hair, the pure ecstasy pulsating through her, her tight pussy quivering and pulling his cock deeper into him until she screams again, her eyes wide and both hands in her hair.

A space rocket has fewer stages than this womanís climax, for crying out loud. Do you even watch porn, author?

Her body bent backwards suddenly snapped forward and she looked at him with lust and love like never before.

"Bruce..." Selena said as she began to calm herself but continue to move slowly,every motion sending the pleasure through her, forcing her to tighten her already tight pussy. "Lets die together."

And here I thought Harley was going to be the craziest bitch in this fanfic. Can you make your fap-material any more unhealthily obsessed, author?

"How about we don't die at all." Bruce looks at her with content, love, and even hope. "I don't want to die. I like living." He slowly massages her tender ample breasts with his rough but gentle hands.

"We are gonna die anyway."

Donít I wish, but even Romeo and Juliet had a better excuse than you at this moment.

"Not if we get to the Joker." Bruce's body bucked and Selena cried out from a painful amount of pure pleasure, her eyes went blank and she placed her hand back on his bloody and sticky chest.

"Bruce..." She looked at him. "That will kill you."

Attached Image

With all this incessant stroking of your skin-suit's pretended martyrdom and constant flip-flopping expectations, do you even think anyone cares, much less believe yourself capable of letting that happen, author?

"If it saves you...my son...Ivy, Harley, everyone that I care for and should not be suffering because I couldn't kill that mad dog...then so be it."

I think you should be complaining more about the authorís unjustified resurrection of the Joker, rather than your inability to let him die, Bruce.

"So...you will kill him?" Selena's voice is that of concern.

"No...never...I would be no better then him."

"So what then..."

"I'll break him."

"You've done that. He always comes back."

"Not if I snap his fucking neck. He'll stop then."

And the winner, for completely misunderstanding why Batman sticks to his code and what it is, and misconstruing it even when he thinks he can tweak it to fix his power-fantasy Ė DeamonPrince, ladies and gentlemen.

Selena moved closer to him and kissed his chin, then is neck, and slowly kissed his charred bloodied chest. "Ok...but for now, we rest otherwise he will kill you before you get close."

"OK my Selena."

Yeah, go back into your sex-induced comas, why donít you. Iím sure the big bad asylum escapees, cloaked Villain Sues, and whatever else the author wants to rub his dick up against for titillation or ego-stroking, will all just wait for you to roll down your broken window.

Bruce laid back in the seat of the Batmobile looking out the windshield. Selena slowly climbed on top of his broken body and slid his still hard throbbing cock deep into her pussy.

I would have better luck finding an end to a mŲbius strip than this trash?!

They looked at each other. Bruce smiled and kissed her neck before laying back and letting the darkness of sleep take him. Once fast asleep Selena began to move slowly allowing the head of Bruce's beast rub her tender parts until he came again. Satisfy her lewd hunger again, she laid against him and slowly drifted off, her fingers slowly rubbing her clit until sleep took her too.

Something tells me that the recovery process will take a while at this pacing and attentive Ďcareí. Iím more worried that the author has rubbed himself raw by now.

Sorry about the delay everyone. I've been busy with College, work, my wife, and my newborn daughter.

I hope for her sake that she wonít ever get kidnapped. Youíd first put her picture on milk cartons half a year after the fact. And ask your wife how many types of fluids she produces.

Hopefully I'll be able to get back into writing more now that I have time. And remember, please review, comment, make considerations, and read my other stories. Also I will answer any PM's you write to me so if you have any thing you want to say privately to me.

I prefer publicly announcing my thoughts to the world. If you catch whiff of this, you already know what Iíd say, but in case you need to have it clarified: Be a better author than this.

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Post #26

I'm very concerned.

Group: Members
Posts: 608
Joined: 3-January 13
From: Denmark
Member No.: 787
Gender: Male

post Jul 4 2017, 02:22 PM
Okay, just from this title alone, I know we are just in for another of the authorís plot-ignoring tug-jobs. Hereís Chapter 23, The Scent of Honey.

As the rose pink finger tips of dawn slowly crawled up from their horizon, he light shone in Harley's face.

Youíre putting sprinkles on a turd, if youíre attempting these poetic similes now, author. You should just have cut your losses and rebooted this fanfic.

She blinked and looked about, she saw Poison Ivy unconscious and sprawled across her flowerbed on her back, her legs spread wide and her hands on her tight wet pussy and the other on her right nipple. Harley smiled and crawled over to the red haired vixen, mouth watering, slowly bringing her lips and tongue down to the sweet honey scented lips.

We havenít seen a canon female character that wasnít about sex twenty-four-seven, for the entirety of this fucking story!!

Harley slowly licked from the bottom of her peach to the top, letting her entire tongue delve deep to taste the sweet nectar. Harley moaned as the aphrodisiacs from the nectar began to work on her.

Yeah, sure, what plant lady doesnít produce aphrodisiacs, am I right? Next youíll tell me she oozes actual nectar, too.

With each lick, more nectar was swallowed by the lustful harlequin.

Ivy began to moan, and subconsciously massage her perked clit and breasts. Ivy's mind began to race with thoughts of Harley, Selena, and Bruce each interchanging who was pleasing her. One second she dreams the tongue is Bruce's and then becomes Selena, and then Harley.

And for some reason, Bruceís felt a bit dry and cracked, but she thought that might just be because he had gotten sunburnt on whatever vacation he was off to.

Harley's sweet spot began to drip as the hormones from Ivy attacked her body.

Nice to know you also donít know how hormones work and what they are, author. Do you just think biology is merely optional for your sex scenes?!

Her nipples became harder and her body began to sweat. Her breathing became labored and the slightest movement from Ivy, as her soft foot was firmly pressed against the soaking wet pussy of the lustful lunatic. Harley moaned loudly when Ivy's foot suddenly shook from Harley's soft but strong tongue running hungrily across her clit.

Iím glad at least one of you is a proper doctor, since all this pulsing tissue, delirium, and breathing issues tells me you are going into an allergic shock.

Suddenly Ivy's eyes snapped open and began to moan uncontrollably as Harley began to suck on Ivy's tender clit. "Har-Harley!" Ivy began to push the lecherous naughty maniac from her clit and pussy. "To m-much! It feels too good."

"And why would that be a problem?" Harley asked gently breathing onto the tenderness of Ivy.

I dunno, the author acts like women are to sex like toddlers are to touching a flame, surprised at the overwhelming sensation and completely incapable of accounting for it for themselves and others.

"I don't know maybe cause I'm-" She abruptly let out a series of moans and shrieks as the perverted princess of playfulness teases and attacks her clit vigorously with her lips and lustful tongue. She softly sucked on the tender slightly swelling weak spot of the Queen of the Green.

Whatís cheesier, the sex or the authorís stroke-enhancing, affectionate titles?

Ivy grabbed at the sheets and moaned louder. And Harley began to suck and lick Ivy vigorously, viciously, almost like a starved beast enjoying a meal.

Okay, at this point Iíve realized you must be turned on by the word Ďbeganí, author. You have repeated stuff Ďbeginí twenty-one times in this chapter.

With no warning Harley slipped 3 fingers deep into the sticky, honey-like, juices and began to massage the rough patch of flesh behind Ivy's bone. Her special spot.

Ivy's began to scream and her legs began to contort, the plants in the room began shaking and growing slightly. Roses and tulips opened and moved as if to show quivering. Harley laughed manically and began to lick up the sweet but tart juices, while continuing the rubbing and massaging of Ivy's G-Spot.

You just had to dip into your thesaurus because you realized people would truly know how asinine your descriptions were, if you actually wrote out Ivy was producing sweet and sour sauce.

The plants continued to shake more vigorously, as Ivy neared Climax. Suddenly all of the plants began releasing a large amount of pollen into the air and Ivy's pussy began to squeeze Harley's fingers and she moaned almost uncontrollably. "Harley!" Ivy's mind began to go blank and she began to imagine Bruce fully nude pressed against her, slowly making sweet love to her.

Even entirely lesbian scenes canít allow themselves to be separate from the self-insert personaís influence. What saddens me is that none of these bimbos can even appreciate each other in peace.

Ivy's body went limp and she lay in a pool of her honey, eyes blank. Harley smiled as her fingers, still sticky with Ivy's juices, slid into her own wet pussy. She felt the rough spot and began to massage it while looking at Ivy with loving tender eyes. She pumped her hands into her slit faster and faster until each motion a wet slopping sound echo in the room and Ivy began to regain composure.

ĒUrgh, whatís that sound? Ivy, are you unclogging the toilet again?Ē

Ivy grinned devilishly at Harley as she spread her legs open wider. Harley bent over to lick and clean the sweet sugar from Ivy's pussy, her beautiful ample breast hanging down, moving with each breath. Ivy waved her hand. "Sorry Harley dear, but it's my turn to play with you."

"Red?" Harley's eyes widened as her arms and legs and body were gripped with large thick vines.

Is it finally tentacle porn time? Or does the author only get that out for when he makes an excuse to put his spank material in pain?


"Please be gentle."

"No." Ivy spoke with a harsh coldness to her voice.

Oh, right, the sadomasochistic angle that was wedged in a dozen chapters ago. As if this author would understand that BDSM relies on consent and control from the submissive.

Harley dropped her jaws and eyes became huge as she processed what was going to happen. With another wave of her hand two more vines erupted from the ground abruptly behind Harley in her doggie like position. Ivy laid on her back in under her playmate's head. She made a 'come here' motion and the vines slowly forced Quinn's face into the succulent sweet pussy of Poison Ivy. "Now please your master." She demanded before nodding to start the two free vines to begin to rub and tease Harley.

The vines would later complain how theyíre not being paid enough to deal with that kinky human shit their boss is into.

"Red!" Harley shouted as she felt the vines, already soaked with their own lubrication, "Gentle please!" She felt the vines tighten on her legs as they pulled them apart and forced her to begin pleasing her new master.

Nothing new about it. Pretending to force her now doesnít make this her first bush dinner at Ivyís salad bar.

"And again...No." She plunged her tongue as deep as she could, allowing it to dance a dance of lust and love before letting out a yelp as the first vine plunged seven inches into her repeatedly.

The fact, that it had chosen her nose to do it in, was perhaps more the issue.

The vines swell and pull out with a twist. Harley moans with each punishing pump and pull and as minutes pass the vines continue to pump more and more into her trembling, tender pussy and tight voluptuous ass until the vines are fourteen inches deep and four inches in diameter.

Attached Image

Holy shattered pelvis Batman, thatís fucking ridiculous. I know porn and hentai gives people the wrong impressions about the human body and its abilities, but this is just silly. Iíll have to assume giving birth helped at least one of her dilated flesh pockets, because the author proclaims Harley could separately store easily two filled pints, glass and all, into both holes at the same time!

Harley's voice shakes and cracks with each powerful thrust from Ivy's thick, sweet vines into her beautiful lustful body.

"Red...I'm cumming!" Harley's body began to convulse as it released a large quantity of her sour sauce

Broth, pie, sauce, when will I ever learn? When is Gordon Ramsey getting on set to criticize these sex scenes?

onto Poison Ivy's face as she quickly positioned her self under her lover's practically perfect pussy so the juices would flow out onto her face, glazing Ivy's face before collapsing into Ivy's arms and fell to sleep as the sex was too much for her body to handle.

Newsflash, author, this has been the staple for every sex act, marking it just as mundane as Arkhamís repeated visitor policy.

Ivy carried the nude body of Harley Quinn to a new bed as their old one was soaked. She watched Harley for a few minutes before turning and leaving, putting her shirt on and allowing the moss and leafs to form over her pussy.

Because who wouldnít want a mossy vagina, am I right?

She walked nonchalantly to the window looking out at the remnants of Arkham City, seeing the smoldering buildings of Gotham just on the other side of the wall. "Bruce...please be safe." Ivy held her hand to her chest as she thought of the only man she deemed worthy to touch her.


I hope you all enjoyed the chapter, I am trying to get back to how the story started but keep the darkness it developed, so make sure to comment what you think

You are returning to form, meaning intentionally removing yourself from anything that isnít about genitals and bodily fluids. Why do you pretend otherwise?

And speaking of returning to form, Iíll try my triple spit-fire mock method of addressing the authorís other works, while Iím at this shorter-than-average chapter.

Title: The Mind of a God
Series: Final Fantasy VI

Quote: "She was smart. She decided to stay human." My voice said behind me. I turn and see seated in lesser thrones myself, but not as myself. I see the human man I once was. I see between him and myself, seated higher was an angel with my face, and a human body.

Well, clearly these are all your friends performing an intervention for you, since youíve done too much LSD, again.

Title: Joker's Joy
Series: Batman

Quote: "You want to know what I love about villains." Batman said as he kept the metal bat hidden.

ĒThey never quite get my pun until the second swing.Ē

Title: A New Home, A New Love
Series: Pokťmon

Quote: He started by taking off his black sleeveless leather jacket with the red tribal design on the back. After which he unzipped his grey hoodie and took that off to reveal his white tank top. Once done he took off his black fingerless gloves before taking off his white tank top, revealing his slim yet muscular body that carried a few scars.

In other words: Preset #7 on the OC Character Generator.

Iíll try to keep going to make this mock complete before itís too late. With 16 chapters still left, I should be able to deal if I hurry.

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Post #27

I'm very concerned.

Group: Members
Posts: 608
Joined: 3-January 13
From: Denmark
Member No.: 787
Gender: Male

post Jul 8 2017, 04:10 AM
Hopefully the fanfic will keep rolling on the plot, without insulting us any further. As if I could be so lucky. Hereís Chapter 24, Reunion Part 1.

Bruce opened his eyes to the light of morning's sweet embrace. He looked down and saw Selena curled in a ball under his arm. He smiled as he held her, "Selena. Wake up." Bruce's voice was gentle and kind. The beautiful woman blinked slowly as she opened her eyes to him.

"Bruce?" She said with a yawn. "Morning." She pulled herself up to kiss him lovingly. "Enjoy my morning breath?"

Yeah, sure, have your pleasant wake up. Gotham is in ashes, Superman is paralyzed, the rest of the world seems to not even care, and even your cock-socket trophy wives couldnít pull their fingers out each otherís asses to help out, but fine, act like you are on your honeymoon!

"Love it." They sat up and immediately got dressed in their outfits. Bruce's Batsuit was all black and armor plated, he looked over to Selena whose catsuit was more lingerie then combat ready.

How kind of the Jokerís goons to install a tailor for them both, after blowing up the car to nothing but a cockpit, twice. No, Iíll never get over this deus ex machina car bullshit.

It only partially covering her ass, leaving more then half of the cheeks out. The crotch was the only other part that was covered on her bottom half while the black leather crawled along her spine until finally wrapping around her body until it was able to cover her breasts but reveal a great amount of cleavage.

Because its either the suit or nothing at all, right? I mean, using torn cloth from the ruins would just be so out of style.

She pulled her cowl over and activated her Cat's Eyes goggles allowing her to see Bruce's heart rate increase and his member growing. "Bruce. You dirty boy."

"What can I say...you are just sexy as fuck."

Iím sure the orphanages all burnt down to the ground while you were fucking, so where do you want the fresh orphans to stay, as their numbers grow with each compliment you fuck-happy nymphomaniacs give each other?!

Bruce smiled and pulled his cowl over his head and activated his Detective Vision, He was able to see that Selena's heart rate was just as fast as his own. Batman walked over to the woman and they began to kiss passionately. No words were needed to instruct the other as Selena looked past Batman to expose her neck, something the vampiric Batman took to with a massive bite making the kitten both howl and purr, her hands massaging Batman's body as she continued to look outside at the carnage.

Look, author, Iíll pretend youíre simply incapable of conveying lust without insinuating Bruce is now a vampire, and I donít care what sort of pet kink you wish to throw into this thing just to get it out of your system. I just demand that you give these things more effort and reason than Ďthey do it because my dick isnít hard yetí.

She saw the toppled buildings, the smoldering ash of the inhabitants caught in the crossfire.
"We need to get to work, love."

"I know." Batman breathed onto her neck. He stretched his arms up as he backed away from her.

"We are gonna find those two today. I can just tell." Selena's voice was calm and reassuring to the brooding bat.

Why? Are they hiding? Have you been searching up until now? Do you have a lead? Is the Bat-signal even on? Who here even believes this is still a genuine Batman fanfic?

"Do you think they are still alive?"

"Of course."

Wait, are you talking about Joker and the baby, or Harley and Ivy? What is the plot?!

"How?" Batman's answer made everything stop and hold their breath, "Its been two months since the government locked down the city. Joker and his psychos kill anyone they find."

Attached Image

What the fuck is going on?! I knew this authorís inexplicable misconceptions ran deep, but this takes the cake. Iíve wracked my brain with this thing, trying to figure out the connections. This dullard seems to be under the impression that the ĎArkham City eventí was something that caused Gotham itself to be locked down, no rhyme, reason or even a mention thereof until now. Never mind the fact that this should mean that there isnít anyone for Joker to find, because who the fuck would still be around for this attempted pocket apocalypse the author has so pretentiously cobbled for himself?!

"I just hope is all." She smiled at him and they walked out of the room.

When they finally reach the roof of the abandoned building they were hiding in

You know, where they teleported to after their second car sex scene. Have all my recent theorizing been for naught, and was the author failing to explain to us weíve time-skipped ahead two months?

they proceed to patrol the town attacking and capturing any thug on the street. Eventually Batman's wounds betrayed him and he collapses on top of a roof near the Amusement Mile in Arkham City. The darkness slowly takes him as he hears footsteps approaching him.

Donít know how to write transitions? Fade to black. For the twentieth time.

When Batman awakened he was being smothered by the ample green breasts of Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn. Their cries of joy echoed in his ears in between their aggressive kissing and rubbing of the man they loved.

Excuse my perhaps concerned yet direct inquiry, author, but is there something you feel is missing from your marriage?

"You found me?" Batman said softly as Harley's arms wrapped around his throat to hold him closer.

"Yeah. We also were able to contact Selena. She is on her way."

Iíll do the authorís job for him and excuse this development via using a radio Batman had on him, rather than the implied lesbian scissoring-performed Morse code.

Ivy looked at Harley and grinned devilishly, "In the mean time...I think we should help our lovely hero relax."

Harley's eyes flashed as the thought of him pounding her while she eats out Ivy began to force her body to grow hotter and her skirt began to dampen. "Definitely. He should relax right now." She too grinned devilishly, however at Batman. "ready to relax?"

Iím not even sure Netflix and chill will be what this guy needs. He collapsed from injuries, for fuck sake, give this guy a medical doctor for once.

Ivy quickly pinned Batman down and kissed him passionately, their tongues dancing like flames.

Hey, at least it matches the theme of the burning wasteland the Joker is currently causing.

Suddenly Batman's body was no longer listening to him he began to undress himself and Ivy stood up licking her lips. "Sorry but I feel like you weren't gonna relax, so I gave you something to help." She smiled as she watched Bruce reveal his scarred, burned, and broken body.

Canít forget the rape-angle that started all of this fanfic, can we?

Her hand sensually ran along the scars. "Now we can make you relax." She leaned over him so her perfectly shaped and sized breasts pressed into his face as she kissed Harley lovingly.

The author simply used the word Ďperfectí to describe them titties, so you can substitute your own preferences. What a great guy.

"What are you going to do?" Batman said slightly concerned about being restrained by Ivy.

"Things...and stuff."

ĒUp the butt, literally.Ē

Harley's voice was playful and cute. She stood over him just enough so he could see her skirt but not enough to see up it. She began to slowly strip dropping cloths around him. First her blouse onto his left arm and her skirt on his right. Next her bra onto his chest and finally she took her panties off revealing a wet tight pussy.

What does the author want me to believe that thing to be made out of? Her pussy gobbled a gallon of plant matter all night, and she keeps crediting it being tight during sex because of the size of the self-insertís junk. What does Ďtightí even mean anymore?

She took her panties and bit the top back of them and bent down allowing her breast to press into his face as she let the panties run across his body, leaving a trail of juice until she stopped and let them rest on his face so that way she could move slightly and let her lips meet his in a lustful embrace. She ran her hands down his chest tenderly, being careful not to rub or scratch any wounds.

Well, with the edgelord description-happy author at the helm thus far, I hope she warmed up her fine motor skills with a game of Operation before this scene.

Batman letting the primal beast out of his cell began to moan with each scratch Ivy suddenly dropped down and tore off his tights revealing his beast. She began to redden slightly as Harley crawled over him to be the first to lick the tip as Ivy began to kiss the shaft, Harley's crotch and wetness was pressed down onto the cowl of their lover.

How is Alfred even going to get the stains off the Detective Vision at this point? Does Alfred even exist anymore? And what about Superman?

Using all his strength he pulled himself up to allow his lips to touch her southern lips and to allow his tongue to plunge in and dance making her scream out loud. Ivy quickly used vines to pull him back down. "Tsk tsk." Ivy spoke with a motherly but yet slut like tone.

Because thatís what anyone would want in order to keep this sex scene going. Maternal porn vibes. What the fuck?

"You are trying to have pie before you relax?" She bent over, her voluptuous ass in the air. "Bad boy."

Oh no, now they are actively using the authorís sex slang in-universe. I canít wait for them to shout for broth by the end of this.

Ivy and Harley then both knelt down at his manhood and smiled. "Time to help our hero relax." They said in a strange lustful unison. Ivy began to lick his shaft with Harley, their tongues pressed together going up the shaft until they reached the head, where Ivy and Harley took turns licking the rim and the other lustful ladies' lips while the other let the head slip into their mouth so they could suck on it and twirl their soft wet tongues around it.

With the lack of a mentioned foreskin, Iím going to infer that Batman, and therefore the author, is circumcised. Deepest lore!!

Bruce's voice was that of both lustful desire and frustrated restriction. He enjoyed the feeling but wanted more, wanted to force Ivy's head down while he ate out the wet pie of Harley, or visa versa.

He has written a check that her ass can cash.

Harley laughed as she pulled off his cock looking at his frustration. "Red? Should we proceed?"

"Yes. We should.", she too was laughing quietly at his desires not being allowed but still being treated like a king.

Just ask Louis XVI about the teasing yet gentle caress of the guillotine.

Ivy looked down at the throbbing cock and she slowly slides the entire length into her mouth, closing her eyes before coming up to enter into a passionate kiss with Harley before Harley took his entire beast as well. This time Ivy slowly licked kisses and nibbled around his crotch before running her tongue up the shaft of the hero to enter the kiss with Harley again. They broke their kiss and smiled as they began to lick the top of his cock allowing their tongues to kiss as well. And again Ivy took in the beast and Harley kissed and licked and bit lustfully around his crotch and slowly twirled his family jewels in her mouth right under Ivy. She slipped off and Ivy began to pull the pulsating cock out of her mouth. To yet again enter another kiss with Harley.

I can see that you think fellatio choreography to be like a ballet, author, but do you have to describe it like you yourself are experiencing it from the back row of the theater?

Minutes ran on until finally as both Ivy and Harley were stroking Batman's beefy beast, he let out a moan unlike the others and the vine released him as he released onto the girls. Harley let out a playful cry of pure happiness as she felt the warmth of Batman's baby broth on her sweet face, her ample breasts and her delicate lips and tongue.

Why must every sex scene at this point end up like a game of Splatoon?

She let it sit on her tongue until she hiccuped and it slipped down her throat.

Itís not that Iím weirded out by your kinks, author, itís that I donít believe you know how to write them.

Ivy on the other hand was even more turned on and immediately began massaging her breasts using the broth as her oil or lotion. Moaning as some slipped off her lip and onto her tongue, she slowly slid her hand covered in the cream deep into her tight wet honey pot, screaming with pleasure as she could feel the semen being absorbed by her body.

Geez, you could poke this chick with a used tissue and sheís go into convulsions. I see why theyíve done nothing to help so far, they are effectively useless as soon as the thought of sex enters their heads.

And finally Batman lay on his bed gasping for breath as the releasing of that much of his baby broth was exhausting for him. His body was drenched with sweat and his legs were pulsing pulsing.

I didnít need to know you had so strong an orgasm, that you didnít realize you finished off this sentence by writing a seven letter word twice, author.

Ivy smiled and crawled up to Bruce and slid her nipple into his mouth, "Drink my love." She said gasping for a stable breath. Bruce immediately wrapped his arms around Ivy and began to suck on her tit as if he was sucking for mama's milk. Instead he was able to receive a sweet yet salty liquid much like breast milk but not quite. With each ounce of Ivy's milk Bruce drank, the more he began to moan and his body began to desire another round of sex.

Attached Image

Letís be honest, this is not the craziest just yet. I mean, I've mocked a fanfic that included an underage Hermione getting her soul sucked out through her nipple, after all. But if this keeps going at this rate, the remaining chapters are probably going to be quite the hazard.

The girls smiled as he slowly drifted off to sleep with him still on Ivy's tit and fingers in the honeypot and Harley giving him a vigorous blow job that finished putting him to sleep as he released a load into the back of Harley's throat moaning into the tit, making Ivy moan as his fingers began to convulse on her G-spot. The three moaned together as Batman drifted off.

The Joker is going to have to wait a week for the final confrontation from these narcoleptics, isnít he?

Harley letting the white broth to flow out onto her body a little while she swished and swallowed the rest, however the amount that she let drip on her she spread it across her tits and Ivy began to lick them off as Harley drifted off into Batman's strong yet weakened arms.

Have any of you even seen a shower for a week? Youíll kill your enemies by your reeking odor alone.

Ivy however used her plants to seek out Catwoman to inform her Batman was safe and she was welcome to join them in pleasuring the sat back into a chair and looked at the two sleeping nymphomaniacs and she giggled as she felt his sperm moving inside her, Ivy hoping for a miracle and allow her to bare his child.

Because we canít prevent the author from flip-flopping on his baby-maker fetish with the barren, breast-ooze producing murderess, either.

She crawled over to him and laid her red hair on his chest as she kissed his body before drifting off herself.

Hope you all are enjoying the new chapters, remember to comment, ask questions, or just say hi. Thanks for reading, have a great day.

Any day becomes great, once youíre free of reading garbage like this.

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Post #28

I'm very concerned.

Group: Members
Posts: 608
Joined: 3-January 13
From: Denmark
Member No.: 787
Gender: Male

post Jul 15 2017, 10:42 AM
More sex, more stupidity, more of this shit. Hereís Chapter 25, Reunion Part 2.

Catwoman frantically followed Batman's path after hearing him in pain over their radios. She rushed to the top of the Ace Chemical plant building and saw a group of Blackgate thugs in Joker outfits running a muck, beating and raping women they found hiding in Arkham City.

You know, all those women who are just showing up in droves, clamoring to enter the prison facility project thatís been active for weeks before Gotham itself shut down a few months ago.

She quickly sprung into action but when she arrived the women ambushed her and began to tear at her clothing, the girls were under a trace of some kind, as were the thugs. She was pinned down and they tore off the clothing covering her left breast and they began to lick and kiss and suck it as the other men began to tear at her crotch area.

Canít we just get a single scene resembling reality for once? Iím surprised the Joker didnít slip and fall in a pool of crotch emissions with his first step back in Gotham.

As Catwoman was beginning to become defensive instead offensive she noticed vines sneaking up behind the attackers. With out warning the vines snatched the attackers and threw them to the ground, the thugs were pulverized however the vines only knocked the women unconscious then proceeded to engulf Selena.

Because as long as the men are thugs, they donít deserve to live, despite being under the exact same influence as the women. The hypocrisy, misogyny, and all around apathy of this sex-fixated fanfic is starting to come full circle for the tenth time.

"Selena." Poison Ivy's voice could be heard from the vines as they wrapped around the battered woman. "My master found Bruce, his wounds caused him to collapse. She and Harley have been helping him, in more ways then one." The vine said with a slight lustful chuckle. "She is still at the same location. Please come and help take care of your hero so he can save Gotham from that Bastard." They vines tightened, "if you want me to bring you here just tell me to, or you can tear through thugs yourself."

Iím starting to think that not only are you making this shit up as you go along, author, you are also intentionally writing this under the influence of any and all hallucinogens known to man, in order to have sex-zombies and talking stalks of plant matter appear out of literally nowhere in a Batman Arkham series fanfic.

"Just bring me." Selena said with a slight anger about her. She felt Batman betrayed her, but she remembered, as the vines tore through the crowds of armed thugs, Batman was Ivy's first, then Harley joined, then she was invited. ~I guess I am just feeling greedy since he was all mine for the past while.~

Oh, yeah, jealousy is just a silly trifle easily dismissed out of realizing someone else called dibs already, and taking turns without prior agreement or even acknowledgement with your swingerís club is an ordinary practice.

"Selena, prepare to be released." The vine spoke to her in Ivy's voice again. Selena prepped and the Vines dissolved. Selena was on the grassy floor of Ivy's apartment building turned evil lair. She looked around and saw the three sweating and covered in cum sleeping in a flower pod. Ivy's eyes snapped open and she opened the pod.

Trust me, I am already convinced no person, object or surface will be without a hefty coating throughout the rest of this fanfic, author. Iím just amazed no one has caught pneumonia yet.

"Nice of you to join us honey." She formed her panties and small leaf patches to cover her nipples. "What happened to you." She asked as she kissed Selena's bloody lips. Her tongue forcing its way in and releasing a dose of Oxytocin into her body. "FYI, the vapor you just inhaled will make you calmer and nicer.

It would, had you injected it into her ass cheek, perhaps, but as a peptide hormone, itíll break down in her stomach acid. Every time I see this chemistry bullshit pulled in fanfics, none of them gets even basic shit right.

"I was attacked by mind controlled Blackgate thugs and a few women. Their eyes were completely black and the veins were protruding around their eye sockets."

ĒThe author assumed this was obvious, so he didnít mention that when it happened.Ē

She said quickly as she felt the Oxy taking affect. "Why are you so sticky?"

Why does the author need you to be stupid in order to open up a conversation about the endless amount of sex you already know has taken place?

"Well our hero is one beast of a man when he is sexually pleased with out him having any control." She chuckled and pointed to Harley, "She's worse then me. And soon, you'll be worse then both of us combined."

Thatís still only a fraction of how bad this fanfic is, so Iím sure she can live with it.

"What?" Selena's voice was shaken. "Why?"

"Because. Harley and I are going to torture you sexually. Make you want Batman so badly that you will repeatedly fuck his brains out until you are so drenched in his sperm that you will have no inch uncovered." She smiled and moved towards her slightly, "on the outside...and the inside. Definately the inside."

Youíve already made her fill out the job application in the previous chapters, author, you thirsty idiot. I have seen some of the most depraved lemons out there in my mocking, and none of them was this obsessively direct about reducing female characters pretended to be cared about into literal cum-socks.

"You trying to get me pregnant."

With this author, you probably already gave birth yesterday.

"Sort of." Ivy laughed, "I want Batman's baby, so what I am trying to do is get you and Harley both pregnant so that way my body will react and try to create a viable egg for him to fertilize."

For someone orally dispensing hormones, youíd think this bitch had a better plan than sympathy pregnancy.

"You want all of us pregnant!" Her voice was loud and high pitched. Startling Harley awake.

"I'm already pregnant." Harley said sleepily. "Not B-man's but still prego."

Because the greatest turn-on for this author is to have women literally do nothing but want to pump out his babies.

"Harley...what?" Catwoman sat down and began processing. "So Ivy you want me pregnant be cause you believe both me and Harley pregnant will help Bruce get you pregnant. And Harley you are pregnant again with Joker's baby...Anything else I should know?"

That peer pressure pregnancies is the weirdest concept to hit this fanfic since the resurrecting Batmobile?

Ivy sat down and smiled. "Yeah." She held Selena's hand. "you are the only one of the three of us who is good at any level, me and Harley are evil. We kill for fun, we rob banks, we rape each other constantly. Hell she woke me up today by fucking me with a double dildo she made from cucumber."

And for some reason the only way you are cock blocking justice is by not being a cock block. The more you know

"And? I'm not that nice."

"But you are...its why Harley and I want you to marry Bruce."

"What!" She was completely shocked, ~There must be a catch or something, a condition.~

And an insanity plea or two. This fanfic is like a soap opera written for the Manson family

"No condition or anything. We would love it if you would let us still make love to him, but it is your choice as his wife."

You already married him, you green bimbo!

~Well answer my question I never asked and put it all on me. Damn.~ "OK...yeah...I get him first, you get seconds." The three girls laughed, "And I still would like for us to have us time too."

Harley came running from a dead sleep to Selena's side, "Really?"


"Can we right now?"

Well, itís this fanfic, and probably a day that ends in Ďyí, what do you think?

"Harley!" Poison Ivy was appalled by her question.

"Of course you sex crazed slut clown."

Attached Image

I need to up my game on insults, seeing as this fanfic wears its entirely self-serving wish-fulfilment as a badge of honor.

She bent over and kissed her tenderly. "You two are my best friends and I love you just as much, and in the same way, as Bruce."

Really? I hadnít noticed. No idea up until now. Itís only the single reason this author can remind himself to jerk off at all!

"I can't call him Bruce..." Harley spoke as she began to strip Selena, "Feels weird... I fell in love with Batman, I will call him Batman." She smiled and pulled down Selena's bottom half of her outfit, revealing her tight, wet kitty. "Take your top off yourself. I'm eating some Selena cream pie."

Iím starting to think Iím reading a story produced by a corrupted spam bot, thatís how misunderstood the sexual slang is.

Selena laughed and looked at Ivy. "Come and play. I missed you guys, I need a woman's touch" She smiled brightly as she unzipped her top revealing her perfect breasts and succulent nipples.

Has her shredded suit repaired itself, too, now?

"And who better to then you two?"

Ivy smiled and slowly walked over, her breasts exposing themselves as the leaves and vines fell off her exposing her green flesh to Selena's touch. "A reunion of the Gotham Sirens?"

No wonder my ears were ringing, though this red flashing before my eyes kind of makes it hard to read my own commentary.

"Together forever...made to be as one in three." Ivy grabbed Selena's hair and pressed her lips against the lips of her friend.

Their kiss deepened as Selena laid down and Harley continued to slowly slide two slender fingers in and out while licking and sucking of the delicious juices. Ivy broke the kiss and began to suck on the sweet hard nipples of her full breasts. Selena moaned loudly and began to force Ivy to rotate until the sweet honey pot was in front of her and she began to slowly lick the sweet slit of Ivy's pink flower.

Wait, is this the sexual torture, or is this just regular lesbian sex? I sort of need a hint, since I already know this author canít depict torture scenes without writing like he huffed paint fumes.

She could taste the pure sweet sugar of her wetness. Ivy moaned loudly in her hunched position in which she was able to lick and kiss the tender perky nipples of her friend. Selena moaned into Ivy's rose as she was viciously toyed with by the lustful lady licking her labia and fingering her tightening pussy. Ivy broke out of the hunch and laid so her ass was higher in the air and her breasts were pressed against Selena. She moved Harley to signal to rotate, and Harley obeyed.

Attached Image

Dude, this is fucking painful to wade through and I even like lesbian porn. But thereís nothing here but soggy adjectives peppering the quickly swapped positions of these brainless dick receptacles, as the author needs to transition to the next screenshot he got off of Pornhub.

Harley was now facing Selena's feet, her body at an angle to allow Ivy who was sitting up on her knees to let Harley lay her legs spread far apart to allow for Ivy to spread Harley's lady lips apart with her soft strong tongue. Ivy's honeypot was pressed into Selena's face who was devouring every ounce of Ivy's sweet aphrodisiac juices, making her pussy wetter and wetter until Harley's every lick and kiss made her feel like she could almost cum but the lack of a strong dick inside her made her body reject the idea of a g-spot strength orgasm, but she still screamed into the pussy of Ivy every kiss or lick Harley.

So, sheís having her not-orgasm, because the universe has ruled that the self-insert's dick is the only thing in the universe that can properly pleasure these author-enslaved fictional beings. This level of self-indulgence is getting creepier at every derailing sentence.

Ivy broke the circle of lust for a moment to look at her lustful kitty drinking her sweet coconut milk and honey from the flower.

Whatever flavor you like, author, Iím sure she can produce the E-numbers herself.

"Do you want Batman?" Ivy asked before returning to the quivering pussy of Harley.

Selena nodded and broke the circle, "Of course I do. I want him to fuck me for hours." She said lustfully before she returned to please Ivy.

"Too bad. We want you to ourselves."

Do you know who else wantís someone for themselves? The Joker with Batmanís child. The only thing you are interested in is a cock, not even whoís attached to it or what they want to do outside the bedroom.

"You think so?"

"I know so."

Selena tried to break free but Ivy pinned her down and forced her clit into the tight mouth of her capture.

I see you avoided using the word Ďtrapí so as to not accidentally invoke a dick onto the lesbian orgy, author.

Harley held down Selena's legs, spreading them far apart until her entire pussy was open and dripping her juices everywhere. Selena struggled and screamed for Bruce but she was muffled by Ivy's muff. And for hours the two lustful ladies pleased themselves as well as their reluctant partner.

Iíll take Ďreluctantí with a grain of salt, seeing as Ivy and Harley apparently on a regular basis Ďrapeí each other.

Only stopping to eat and drink real food and drinks before continuing until finally Selena's body gave out and she collapsed from sexual exhaustion.

"Red?" Harley called out to her green skinned sister of lust, "Did we overdo it?"

No, she just fell into the regular post-coitus sleep coma again. Poor some coffee in her. Or on her, if thatís your thing.

"Nope. When she awakens she will go straight for Batman. We will help her and keep her and Batman full of energy however we must."

"Drugs?" Harley said in disgust.

"Of course not. We will feed them and keep them awake until I can sense a fertilized egg in her womb."

"How long could that take?"

"Days...weeks even. But that is why we are going to be supplying them with nourishment, keeps Batman pumping out cream, and keeps Selena sucking his balls dry with that delicious pussy of hers."

I know youíve said you are evil, but Gotham is burning, Harleyís born baby is kidnapped, the Joker could attack at any point, and your focus is to have Batman as your personal fuck toy. Who wonít this fanfic disgust at this point?

"You really planned this out..." Harley said as she snuggled next to Batman.

"Yes. Ever since I saw your son I've wanted my own, not to just raise some other person's child."

Having Harley pregnant was your idea in the first place! When the fuck did you even see the kid? Bruce didnít see it until Metropolis, and you were kidnapped by Two-face before it was even born!!

"I can understand...I can't wait to get my son back from Mistah J."

Attached Image

Pray tell, are you simply too afraid to open a door and let the rest of the world drown in your bodily fluids?

Ivy lifted Selena and lay her down on Batman so his cock was being drenched by her still soaking pussy.

Youíd all have died from dehydration, if not for the fact that you all keep sharing and showering each other in whatever your bodies are secreting.

"I just hope Batboy can handle us all. Father of three kids, lover of three women, savior of Gotham and playboy millionaire to the rest of the world. He is gonna be one exhausted man."

Because he has done so much of the latter two lately, hasnít he? Better put Metropolis on that list, too, since Superman has apparently evaporated.

"We should make sure to help too." Harley said as she drifted of, two fingers deep inside her own pussy.

"Yeah...we should." Ivy's eyes grew heavy as she kissed the three lovers tenderly.

You? Help? When? When you are pregnant? When youíve given birth? Thirteen chapters ago, when we were exactly where we are now?!

Hope you all enjoyed the chapter, make sure to comment, send some suggestions, or ask some questions. I'll answer PM's btw

Hereís a question. Which bootleg Batman product were you bashed over the head with, in order to make you think writing this fanfic was a productive pastime?

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Post #29

I'm very concerned.

Group: Members
Posts: 608
Joined: 3-January 13
From: Denmark
Member No.: 787
Gender: Male

post Jul 20 2017, 12:20 PM
We have to wade through the ocean of cum and viscera that this author keeps pouring out for us. Hereís Chapter 26, Reunion Part 3.

Bruce's eyes opened he was looking down at Selena's wet body pressed against him, her bare pussy dripping its juices onto his hardening cock.

I have become accustomed with this being the status quo, author, you donít have to go out of your way to stumble forth and tell me.

She was red from blushing and her body was quivering as if just fucked for an hour straight.

Or she has a fever, but whatever, youíre Batman, youíd know stuff like this.

He then looked to his left and then his right and saw both Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn bare and in very lustful positions, Harley having his hand pressing against her fingers and pussy. Ivy was laying legs spread open but her chest turned away to hide her perfect perky breast. He laughed slightly in his head, ~What has happened now?~

The Jokerís rampage has gone unhindered for yet another day, reaching a week, maybe, Iíve lost track.

He felt his cock throb and press into Selena's pussy, Selena moaned slightly her nails digging into his chest as he took a sharp breath from the sudden pain.

Oh, quit whining, your charred skin shouldnít be able to feel anything at this point anyway.

"Bruce?" Selena whispered as she slowly raised her head from her comatose.

"Selena." He smiled kindly at her before she pulled herself to him and kissed him with a passion burning brighter than of a thousand suns.

This cheap use of poetic language is awfully clichť. It doesnít help that the term is ordinarily coined to atomic explosions, leaving this fanfic as the second worst disaster using it.

"I love you." She held him close, her body still aching from her sexual adventure with her sister sirens. "Don't you ever scare me like that again."

"I'm sorry." He lifted her sweet face up to see tears streaking across her face. "I love you too."

"Promise I will never lose you."

"I swear it."

ĒI mean, Iím the authorís self-insert, I couldnít even die if my Batmobile exploded.Ē

They smile at each other kindly and kiss tenderly. Selena's body again trembles from pure excitement and desire. She felt his manhood throb again and she smiled into the kiss as they broke it apart. She slowly lowered herself so she was close enough to lick the rim,

I swear, if your next entry into the misunderstood sexual slang list is you inferring a rim job, author, Iíll doubt you even know what genitals are.

close enough to smell the smell of Harley's cream and Ivy's honey. She thought to herself, ~ This is mine. Mine to lick, kiss, suck and fuck.~

You sure you donít want to put in Ďpetí, Ďdress upí, and Ďtake for walksí, to add variety, since you have her be nothing but your cock worshipper, author?



"Fuck me. Now." Her voice was lustful and demanding. Her body felt satisfied but was lacking the feeling of a man.

Any man. Itís pathetic enough that you elevate your self-insert to be the literal world of these characters, author, but could you at least make it seem like they have an emotional investment in him as a person, and not just being cock starved sluts whoíd jump Jokerís jack-in-the-box if he walked in through the door?

"Oh?" Bruce's expression was from curious to lustful in a moment. He stroked her cheek softly before guiding her to slide the entire cock into her mouth and she began immediately, her tongue teasing the rim and head of his cock. He began to moan loudly as grabbing her head and forcing her down further until Selena gagged and scratched his legs until he released her so she could breath.

Why, has the author already forgotten that he has equated pain to be pure pleasure to these cretins? As far as kinks goes, I felt erotic asphyxiation was sort of implied.

Her hot breath was on his wet cock as her hand slid his beast up and down. She pushed his body down and almost instinctively she mounted the brute. Blank stare and only one goal in mind. 'To fuck until both of their bodies are tired.'

What passion. Itís like reading how flies fuck, and just as interesting, too. How much more mundane and impersonal do you want to make the act of sex between these brainless automatons, author?

She slide his entire manhood deep inside her moaning every time it throbbed and she began bouncing up and down, and as time progressed she slammed her thick soft ass down harder and harder until finally she a Bruce were moaning loud enough to wake Ivy and Harley.

You have already managed to make Bruce and Selena into an aberrant glob of convulsing human flesh by now with this decaying grammar, author, please donít make it worse.

Minutes after Bruce had came inside of her, Bruce's cock was hard again from the aphrodisiacs still in his system from Ivy.

If you are truly trying to make a saleís pitch for this energizer commercial, I think you need to work on your angle, author.

Selena again slid him inside of her and began to pound him. He suddenly pulled her down so her huge tits were pressed against his chest and he began to pump up into her, bucking his hips widely until Selena was screaming from the pleasure. She looked up and saw how much her and Bruce making love was affecting her friends.

They were hunched over a bucket each, incapable of understanding how someone could even buck theirs hips that wide.

"Join us you two." She said kindly offering her lover's attention to them as well.

"Nope. He is all yours." Ivy said heart aching like Harley had smashed in her chest.

Are emotions an enigma to you, author? Iíve been begging you to actually have any of these actions taking place bear any indication that there are even a thinking being sensing and acting out of intentional thought, and now you are making them sound like crash test dummies.

"Yeah. We are just here to help you eat during your fuckfest." She to felt a pain in her, desiring Batman to show her a good time but giving it up.

I have heard about catering wish fulfillment, but this is getting downright silly.

"I'm sorry you two." Selena said sorrowfully as she continued unconsciously pumping her hips as Bruce bucked. Selena bit down on his shoulder making him moan loudly, causing the two lustful ladies to lewdly begin rubbing themselves, Ivy's honey sloshing and Harley's juices seeping into and overflowing her panties.

Attached Image

Okay, at this point we can confirm you need a psychiatrist, a veterinarian, and a plumber, because these crazy bitches have sprung a leak!

"At least let us help you two how we can." Bruce's voice was tender and kind as he invited the girls to join them.

Harley took Ivy aside and began begging and pleading. Eventually Ivy agreed and the duo stripped quickly while watching their desired lover release another load deep into the pulsating pussy of Catwoman.

Never have I been this close to believing a sex scene would result in an actual explosion.

Bruce pushed Selena off and she got on her hands and knees, beckoning Harley to lay in front of her so she could please her. Harley obeyed and Selena began to viciously lick and suck and devour the tender pussy of the sex crazed clown queen.

Unless she has a crown and a red, ball-shaped nose that honks at every lick, could you please fuck off with this unbefitting prose?

Her slender hands ran up her body across her ample breasts and into her blonde hair as she began moaning. Bruce mounted Selena from behind and began to pound the slippery silk of her pussy immediately as he motioned for Ivy to sit on his shoulders.

I thought the next circus act would wait until the clown was done with its routine, but whatever.

She stood so her pussy was in his face and his arms immediately wrapped around her, his hands pulling her hips down into his face as his tongue plunged into her honeypot. Ivy began moaning and pulling on Bruce's hair, forcing his face in deeper for moments, pushing him away in moments of overwhelming ecstasy.

Which is either never or all the time, depending on whether or not Iím willing to accept the presentation of this cum-dripping drivel.

For minutes into hours, Bruce kept his motion of licking and sucking Ivy as well as his motion of pumping and fucking Selena until Ivy began to scream and the plants around them began to quiver and release pollen, and once all the plants released she released flooding Bruce with her honey, overwhelming him with aphrodisiacs.

But what sort of aphrodisiac are we talking about here? Amphetamines that also helps with ADHD and narcolepsy? No, probably not with this storyís track record. Bupropion that increase blood pressure and heart rate? Youíd be dead by now in that case. Tetosterone? I think weíd have to reevaluate Ivyís biology if that was the case.

He felt a sudden surge of pleasure from his cock as Selena began to pulsate her pussy from the pure bliss of both Bruce in her pussy and one of Ivy's vine pumping her tight ass. She began to beg for more as she made Harley scream from the intoxicating feeling of Selena's tongue inside her. She screamed again as she released while Selena's mouth engulfed her entire pussy, forcing the juices into her mouth to be swallowed and for Harley to force herself away dragging herself a few feet before the shear, raw, uncontrolled feeling making her moan with each motion.

This isnít sex, this is a cascade of drugged out junkies having their high result in anaphylactic seizures. Can anyone even fish out a single sentence from this cesspool that says otherwise?

Harley collapsed moaning as Ivy fell off of Bruce and rolled over onto her back looking at the two succubi still fucking even after cumming again and again and again.

You just told us both Selena and Bruce are female sex demons, what the fuck?!

"I might have over did it with the aphrodisiacs." Ivy gasped out as she moved next to the quivering Harley.

Well, then just shit out some anaphrodisiacs to counter it. It would only be a more genuine and literal asspull than your pussyís chemistry set.

"You...you...you th-think?" Her body was still shaking. "We...sh-should stop them."

"Yeah. They might kill each other with sex." Ivy chuckled as she weakly shuffled over to the lovers still making passionate love for the fifth hour, only breaking to eat and use bathrooms.

Because scat and water sports isnít on the menu, and the author wants Ďrealismí injected with instantaneous snack and potty breaks. Wait, can this author seriously not go five hours without eating?

Ivy took Bruce and placed her plump lips against his and the pheromones she emitted forced his body to rest when he collapsed and fell asleep Ivy repeated with Selena and then proceeded to collapse next to her.

Harley pulled herself over and she and Ivy laughed through the pain of being devoured by their respected pleasure provider. "Ne-next is you Ivy, soon you'll get your b-baby." Harley stuttered from he pulsating pleasure ravaging her body.

Riddle me this. Would you fucking mongrels be doing anything else besides this, even if the Joker wasnít currently immolating the entirety of Gotham?

"I know Harley." She kissed Harley with the same pheromones and watched her blonde sister collapse into a sleep, and she proceeded to join her.

Thank you for reading this...intense...chapter.

Watching people drown usually is, but Iím not sure you wanted to emulate it this accurately.

I hope you all enjoyed it, and remember to comment, review, make a suggestion for a story or something I should add, ask some questions or what ever you feel like.

I do have one fair suggestion, if you donít mind: Adopt some standards.

I would also like to say to the guest reader who suggested a story in their reviews, I will be working on it soon, along with my novelization of The Lusty Argonian Maid more based around drama more so then the humor of the original text. So keep an weather eye for those stories.

What a funny coincidence, I was just about to start off my triple spitfire mocks with that 22 chapter atrocity.

Title: The Lusty Argonian Maid
Series: Elder Scroll

Quote: "Your name is Lifts-Her-Tail?" he chuckled, "Is that supposed to be a sexual thing? Like you'd have sex for anything or something."
"Yes, my lord. It was my mother's predestination of me." The beautiful maid frowned as she realized the name made herself seem like a whore.

I canít wait for the family dinner with Mrs. Hates-Her-Children and Mr. Gives-No-Fucks.

Title: Birds and Rugburn
Series: Regular Show

Quote: "Just fuck my face already." Margaret said into the cock, slightly garbled and muffled by his presence in her mouth.

Who doesnít want to fuck a beak, as long as the bird pays the groin surgery afterwards?

Title: Shy Passions
Series: My Little Pony

Quote: "Lay down and let me thrust in between your tits, or suck the head as you move them up and down, or combine them both."

I see that the author dabbles in ďchoose your own sex-positionĒ adventure games.

This can't keep continuing, can it? There has to be a return to the plot, otherwise this fanfic can't keep up masquerading as anything but the author's porn portfolio.

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Post #30

I'm very concerned.

Group: Members
Posts: 608
Joined: 3-January 13
From: Denmark
Member No.: 787
Gender: Male

post Jul 25 2017, 10:13 AM
Ready to get your intelligence insulted yet again? Yeah, me neither, but this has to be done. Hereís Chapter 27, Reunion Part Finale.

Bruce was walking around the lair of Poison Ivy, his crotch was sore but is libido was satisfied. It was a month since Ivy began her conquest with aphrodisiacs to get her and Selena pregnant, and today was going to be the last attempt to impregnate the woman of the green, since the lusty kitten was pregnant on day one.

Excuse me, did you just tell me that these genital addicts have done nothing but humping each other for an entire month?! Are you serious? Are you insane? This isnít even having the plot altering itself after each sex scene Ė LIKE USUAL Ė this is deliberately working against dialogue exchanges that went on during the previous sex scene! What asylum did you escape from, author?

She was waking up as Bruce was walking past. They exchanged smiles and She proceeded to prepare for her eight hour fuckfest.

"Does it have to be so long?" Bruce asked as he felt a slight pain from his groin.

"We fuck til I'm pregnant...or until time is up sweet heart."

Author, please tell me you at least know that pregnancy isnít even apparent until weeks after conception, typically via urine tests during a missed period, you sex-starved simpleton.

"I want a baby too. But this is a bit much."


"Sorry. But I am sick of not having my own baby." She kissed him tenderly and began making a large breakfast from her garden. Strawberries and pineapple seemed to be the main ingredients.

Good luck with your month long diarrhea in your desperate search for more aphrodisiacs, limp-dick!

Batman woke up Selena and Harley who had spent the past three weeks eating each other out and letting Ivy's tentacle vines have their fun with every hole they can. Selena moaned as she woke up since Bruce slid his fingers deep inside her and spread them apart, rubbing multiple walls at once.

You need to talk with her interior decorator about not punching holes through the one wall a tubular genital tract needs to have!

Next Harley woke up energetic enough to run up and kiss Batman. She giggled as she forced his cowl and cape on.

Would you kindly kick him out the window next? If heís lucky, there still one remaining pile of ashes outside to break his fall.

They walked over to the table and began eating. They talked and listened to the sounds of the war outside. "I have to get out there tonight." Bruce said as he took a bite of a mango.

A month long war that Batman left unattended? Every new line and paragraph makes me question the authorís sanity, decency, and humanity. Pretending this is how you write stakes in a story is worth public, life-long ridicule.

The juice squirted onto his chin and Harley took this chance to lick it off and enter a tender kiss with him.

"I know that my love." Ivy was sullen by the fact she would most likely not have a child.

What sickens me is that the authorís obsession is with the pregnancy itself. As we can note about the still and possibly forever kidnapped baby, adoption is not even on the table here, because itís the act of carrying a child thatís the focus, not even motherhood.

"Well what if we went out with you Bruce?" Selena suggested as she ate pieces of pineapple.

Attached Image

What gave you that brilliant idea? Could it be that your job in this fanfic isnít just as cock ornaments and deus ex machina rescue measures? Whatís next? A funeral service for Superman?!

"That would be sweet, but two of you are pregnant and I'm trying to get the third one pregnant too now."

"True but that never stopped Harley before."

Stopped her? The bitch gave birth after a few months, she was out of control. And so are you, you embryo-bearing dipshits!

"Yeah B-man. I was kicking ass right net to Mistah J until he saw me getting' hurt by a bad guy and he saved me. He told me that I should stop and just stay back to protect Bat Jr."

Sorry, Iím getting confused here, was it not the authorís obsession thus far to have women be nothing but stationary sex-obsessed baby farms?

"Bat Jr.?" The Three asked confused.

"Yeah. Mistah J came up with it."

"Well still. Unless we get killed or beaten bloody with a lot of stomach shots we should be fine along with the babies."

"Harley...how far along are you?" Ivy asked.

"About five months now."

Itíll be born any day now, then. No, seriously, the timeline shenanigans in this fanfic has a track record to keep.

"Nope. You stay back." Ivy demanded. "Me and Selena will accompany Bruce."

"Are you two sure?"

"Yes...and after this war I will go into classes for reformation."

Oh, is Batmanís dick not enough for you now? What, do you think the asylum is just a prison, author? It was an institution for reformation in the first place!!

"You wanna be a grade-A citizen?"

"For all of our children."


Stellar writing, right there. Iím just amazed we have dialogue outside of a sex scene, so Iíll take what I can get.

"Me too." Harley said excitedly. "If we can get Mistah J in a class too."

"Joker is too far gone Harley." Selena said sullenly. There was a large explosion miles away that shook the table.

"We should start soon." Ivy said lovingly.

Iíd say you should get started right now, but then again, you arenít talking about anything but bedroom activities, are you?

"I agree." He put his utensils down and walked over to her pulling out her chair and they retreated to the bedroom. "Are you sure this will work?" He asked as she kissed him with aphrodisiacs.

"Sort of."

Male prostrate stimulation via plant tentacles? I mean, what other backup plan would they wait an entire month with?

She pushed him down and saw his cock getting harder. She waited until it was at the peak power and she mounted him. "Ready baby?"

"Yeah." Bruce said with a lustful smile.

Ivy placed her soft green slender hands on his chest as to aid her balance as she bounced up and down, allowing the entire length of Batman's cock to fill her.

Wow, apply cock to vagina, who could have seen this coming? Does this sex scene have any other great innovative turn of events or was that it?

Her legs moved so she was now in a squat like position and Bruce grabbed her hands to hold her up and allow her move motion until she screamed from the overwhelming pleasure. She moved faster and faster until she was using her vines to help her move.

Almost matching the authorís masturbating hand for speed, I believe.

Bruce was moaning and his cock pulsed. He pulled Ivy down. Her legs fell from under her and she was caught in his tender embrace and passionate kiss. He broke the kiss to tenderly bite her neck before biting harder making Ivy yelp in pain before Bruce began bucking like a wild horse. She moaned again and again until Bruce finally released his load deep inside the woman of the green skin beauty.

"Yes! Bruce! I can feel it!"

"Your pregnant?"

"Not quiet."

In a metaphoric sense, then? Philosophically? Or did you actually mean it was loud? Was there literally no point to this than just to get the author through a twenty second jerkoff session?

She dismounted Bruce and slowly seedlings fell out of her. "These are an experiment I'm trying since this is the last day of our fun. By combining human DNA and my spores I was able to create a hybrid of the Green and human."

I guess the author didnít spend much time on this, since knowing he could have literally jerked Batman off onto an actual flowerpot instead.

"Are they our children?"

"Not yet. They are able to become our children...but need to be placed in a viable womb."

"Yours is not viable?"

"Far from it. The human part requires blood and I have blood with chloroform, which kills them, but I can create them using my DNA."

Ah, so her blood is made of chloroform. That explains why everyone keeps falling asleep, then. Chlorophyll, author, you talentless hack!!

"So you need a surrogate mother to birth our children?"


"Those seed things...our my kids?"

"Yup." She smiled and kissed her dear lover. "Now to find a willing woman..."

Because of course we need more aboard the baby-mamma surrogate brainwash train. Choo choo.

"I think I know one...if she followed her father."



"She's dead."

So was the Joker, do you honestly think this author cares?

"Unless she entered a pit."

"How can you contact her?"

"I just have to make my way to her home." He smiled at Ivy, "How long can they survive."

"One hour unless I incubate them again...then its about one week."

"OK...one week to find Talia."

Itís like this author oversells the premise, while selling it short, too. How many things has Batman done in one night, exactly, considering the game series and not this fanfic?

"We could always wait until tonight and stay and have more fun?"

Bruce stopped in his tracks turned and smiled. "You want to?"


"On your back then?"

Iím surprised you havenít gotten bed sores at this point, let alone blisters, as you constantly do the one single thing important to this story.

Ivy allowed the Seedlings to reenter her and then laid on her back smiling. Bruce moved quickly to mount her and she wrapped her legs around his waist as he slid his beast into her. She yelped when he buck and she smiled as she pull him in close using her legs. He began pumping her gently but her legs forced him to move deeper and faster, his cock throbbed from the pleasure coursing through him.

Unless those 'Seedlings' crawled up her uterus on their own, Iím not looking forward to the accidental urethral insertion coming up. While on the topic, I think weíve found a viable pseudo-womb, though. The internet has probably already made the horrible fanart.

Ivy felt a surge from the green as she realized Harley and Selena were in the process of making their own love. Ivy waved her hand and then slowly ran her nails down Bruce's chest making him moan and wince. In a sort of act of revenge he pumped her harder then before making her yelp as well.

I, too, wish to apply a caring caress by slapping this author upside the head.

In the kitchen Ivy's vines were slowly sliding in and out of Harley's and Selena's tight asses while a cucumber was being used as a double dildo. The ridges from the cucumber skin rubbed Harley's G-spot making her moan louder and making her move faster her fingers were on her own nipple and breast while her other hand was rubbing Selena's clit tenderly, and visa verse for Selena.

Leave it to this lazy ass author to half-ass his own fucking spank material.
ďSpecific details of rubbing and moaning and movements and body parts; check. Oh, right, there a second lady in the room. Uhhh, ditto? That should do it.Ē

Her body pulsated with pleasure as the vines began to spread apart her cheeks and slide in smoother and faster. She looked at Harley who was moving wildly and moaning loudly. Harley looked at Selena and saw she was not enjoying it as much as herself was.

Amazing and accurate observations, just like their dedication to doing this one hundred and ten percent or not at all, apparently.

She pulled the Cucumber out and held her friend down so the vines could enter both her tight ass and her tight wet heat. Selena moaned louder as Harley got on her hands and knees and began servicing her clit with a skilled tongue, while being serviced by Selena with just as skilled of a tongue.

But how is the cucumber going to enjoy this now? I mean, Iím assuming Ivy made it sentient and alive, otherwise you louts just committed plant necrophilia.

Back in the bedroom Bruce held Ivy up and quickly bounced her and Ivy felt both Bruce's cock as she bounced up and down while her vine penetrated her tight ass making her moan every time it expanded.

Slow down, author, I think you just wrote three sentences at once, and none of them in full.

Bruce let out a loud roar as he suddenly doubled his speed and the vines around him began to whip his back making his instinctive beast more aggressive, making him bounce her harder and the moaning from Ivy became screams of pleasurable pain as she told the vines to begin massaging her clit tenderly.

And as Iím whisking egg whites, Iíll gently pat the yolk inside the bowl, too. You have better luck playing Jenga in a rally car than completing these intended precise motions.

Her leg began to shake slightly as Bruce pumped and roar. She felt the plants around her release their spores and her vines began to release a sap like substance just as she release her orgasm, making her juices soak Bruce's waist and legs. He moaned just as he bit her neck again, this time drawing a small amount of blood.

Break a milk bottle while you are at it, since you are so set on having this many liquids pointlessly represented all at once, author.

"You blood..." Bruce spoke.

"What about it?"

"It is delicious." He began to suck on the bleeding wound, he pulled away and moaned. "It tastes like human blood and strawberries...I like it a lot."

Attached Image

Until it has any purpose outside this chapter of the authorís publicized masturbation fantasy journal, I donít fucking care. This pretend-fanfic has infringed enough on Batman as it is, I canít allow it any benefit of doubt, much less even remote concern.

He smiled and began pumping again until he moaned and released yet another load into her. He laid her down in the bed and they kissed again as he prepared to pound her again but instead she pulled him out and slowly slid down to allow her oral access to his meaty monster. She smiled and slid the entire beast inside her mouth making her gag slightly before she told her vines to begin toying with her honey pot.

And that was it, apparently? Talk about finishing prematurely. Did the author accidentally hit send after blowing his load?

I hope you all enjoyed the reunion story arc,

This was a story arc in the same sense that a cement mixer is a soup bowl, and just as enjoyable an experience.

please make sure to write a review and send me some questions or requests as well as check out my new story, The Lusty Argonian Maid. Finally I have also decided to include a fun request for you all.

Youíve already tried to redefine the word Ďfanficí, author, you leave Ďfuní alone.

Email or message me some way pictures for my stories, whether its for this one or any of my other stories.

Shit, this man was writing all of this without knowledge about Rule34 up until now? Weíre doomed!!

The best pictures will be used and pictures are judged on both tastefulness and lewdness.

Could we perhaps get a judge that doesnít personally consider those two words to be synonymous?

And be sure to include artist's name to give some credits.

Iím not an art critic, but that wonít prevent me riffing on your actually genuinely presented spank material, you tasteless smut-peddler.

Okay, to give people some perspective, I can tell there is four chapter left, before the author moved on to make eight Ďbonus chaptersí, seemingly glorified sex scenes dedicated to specific pairings, possibly inspired by whatever porn art his latest authorís note trawled for. Theyíll be dealt with in due time. Until then, though, we can hope for some sort of resolution to this utter train wreck. As if.

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Post #31

I'm very concerned.

Group: Members
Posts: 608
Joined: 3-January 13
From: Denmark
Member No.: 787
Gender: Male

post Jul 31 2017, 03:13 PM
The author is approaching the end of his plotline and attempting to reel us in. The bait is rancid and the hook is a dildo, but he's trying, I guess. Here’s Chapter 28, The Search Begins.

Bruce was standing in the door way looking out at the burning city, Gotham was now the city Joker wanted. Crime was running rampant, Police were lucky to create a safe zone in Arkham of all places.

And the rest of America, the world, and all its heroes even, apparently doesn’t give a fuck. The author’s story deserves the vacuum it pretends it lives in.

Ivy, Selena, and Batman left with Harley sitting on the couch bored out of her mind. Batman found the resistance and apologized for his absence to Commissioner Gordon.

"Commissioner, I did not realize my absence would have this impact." Batman said through the cowl and armor.

Attached Image

Staring at the burning chaos for a month while you got your dick wet somehow prevented this hour of enlightenment for you, genius?

"Where were you?" Gordon was clearly looking for a clear and just motive for being gone for nearly a month.

"When I returned from Metropolis, I had to find Harley Quinn to ensure her involvement with the Joker was over for now due to her state of pregnancy."

And you found her on day two and are now lying through your pussy-juice covered teeth by omission. I was under the impression that the author wanted people to like his self-insert.

"Quinn is pregnant?" Gordon looked slightly concerned.

"Yes sir. And Ivy was protecting her. I was able to convince Ivy and Kyle to help us fight for Gotham."

"What is the catch." Gordon sat down and lit a cigar with a match. Puffing the cigar twice before dropping the match.

"Relaxed security for the three in a shared cell and all three go to rehabilitation to help them control their urges for crime."

Urges for crime. Because that’s just the best way to sum up all the possible character motivations involved with these bimbo-rendered blowup dolls. Could you consult someone about your urge to write shitty narratives, author?

"That's it?" Gordon's cigar drooped. He had been hoping for a large sum of money and a get away vehicle.

"Yes sir. They seem to desire reforming their lives due to the coming child." Batman still standing moved his hand to behind him.

I’m sure the authorities will be thoroughly convinced by that argument, since it’s her second child, too.

"OK. I'll get that done." He waved his hand to a guard, "Let in the girls."

Minutes later Ivy and Selena were standing at attention next to Batman.

"Commissioner Gordon. Thank you for allowing us to help." Poison Ivy was the first to speak.

I hope you people took a shower, or at least wiped your feet before you came here, Gordon might start to suspect something.

"Where is Quinn?"

"Safe at my home."

"How can you know she is safe?"

"Would you mess with my monsters?"

Would Joker? Yes!!!

Batman sighed and left the tent for air while those two bickered like children. He opened his PDA and marked areas on the maps of Gotham. When Selena emerged looking annoyed he gave her a quick smile.

Whatever. If you are done pretending to inject banter to supplement your ego-stroking, can we get on to the crime fighting already, though the only reason for doing so has been your personal agenda to find Talia?

The two reentered the tent to finished explaining the plan to capture Joker and use him to recall the main bulk of the troops. Hours pass and nighttime finally falls and the trio head out to hunt down Joker and search for Talia's resting place. While going through Crime Alley Batman drops to the ground and attacks thugs attacking a woman. They had tore off her skirt, blouse and bra, and had lowered her panties as Batman arrived.

With its doubtful importance, hasty injection and all around unbelievable setting, this clearly looks like a job for Clichť Man!

At first Batman was able to fight but as he broke the jaw of one of the thugs another hit him in his side, reactivating the pain of his broken ribs. The blows from the thugs just came constantly before Ivy and Selena showed up. Selena using her whip to strangle and slash the bad guys while the green vixen used Greenmen to attack them.

What the fuck are Greenmen? Is Ivy unable to produce offspring or not?!

Batman looked at the eight foot tall behemoth of grass and twig attacking the attackers, while having and opportunity Batman snatched the woman and escaped to the roof where the woman dropped to her knees thanking them, slightly confused why Batman was working with the criminals but still thankful.

Now, if you’ll excuse her, this woman clearly needs to get on with wandering aimlessly through this war zone for no reason.

"How can I ever repay you Batman?" The woman asked earnestly asking.

"How about you fuck him." Selena suggested half seriously.

The woman's eyes lit up and she nodded, "If he would be OK with it."

This story is on fanfiction.net. All its reviews are positive. It’s supposed to have a plot. These characters are standing on what the author keeps failing to explain is an endless graveyard of war and turmoil. And we are now getting a sex scene with a random, faceless rape-rescued character while the protagonists are currently searching for Batman’s kidnapped baby and formerly dead future baby mama! I am going insane!!

Batman chuckled, "Not entirely." He helped the girl up and smiled for only a moment. "It would be a kind way to thank me, however I'm sort of in a complex relationship."

The woman waited a moment, turned and grinned. "You're fucking Catwoman."

The trio coughed and chuckled. "How do you figure?" Ivy asked calmly.

Hell, she probably knows he’s Bruce Wayne, too, what with how easy you knew and shared that info.

"She's the only one who every is nice and Batman's the good guy..." She stopped and her eyes opened wider, "You are fucking Poison Ivy too, aren't you!" She held her mouth in shock.

Batman leaned close to her and whispered, "and Harley Quinn."

The woman sat down trying to process everything, "Why though?"

This faceless bitch had better be Vicky Vale in a mask trying to resurrect the press from the smoldering ruins, otherwise this conducted interview has no other reasons to exists other than the author spouting his pairing excuses.[/color]

"I love them...they love me...and each other equally."

Why? The shallowness of this entire premise and the universe that spawns from the pools of cum it produces, has done literally nothing to explain what any of you people see in one another beyond a tool for orgasms and baby productions. Describe to me one detail about each other that doesn’t involve body parts.

He shrugged, "Sorry if you feel betrayed or anything."

"Why is Harley not here?" The woman sat more comfortably. Ivy smiled and motioned she and Selena would let him explain. Selena smiled at him looked at her and back at him then nodded to tell him what he does would be OK. And they disappeared.

Because when the author isn’t masturbating to them, they don’t exist.

"Well Harley is pregnant...again. First time was my child, whom was born in Arkham City and kidnapped by Joker, who still has him. This time the baby is Joker's."

Sounds like that’s something you could better be spending your time rectifying, eh? It might be a fact that I’m beating a dead horse at this point, but it’s not my fault that the author is still putting it out on the race track and betting all his money on it!!

"OK." She turned and noticed the girls left, "What about Poison Ivy and Catwoman?"

"What about them?" Batman sat down in front of her still holding his composure, resisting looking at the woman's ample DeeDees and her tight toned body could match that of Quinn or Selena.

"Have they had your babies yet too?"

Sorry, are you two here for the sex, or is playing ‘20 Questions’ the latest discovery of foreplay for this author?

"Ivy can't get pregnant but she created a way to combine her DNA with mine in a seedling that needs a surrogate mother. And Selena is currently a month pregnant."

"I can help!" The woman body quivered slightly, "I can be the surrogate."

The resolution to this garbage is serving itself as easy as any woman in this fanfic is, why am I even surprised? Was the literally only requirement left in this author’s spank bank ‘has uterus’?

"Are you sure." He looked into her eyes, "There is four of the seedlings."

"Yes, under a few conditions."

"What?" He sighed, "No knowing my secret identity."

Attached Image

I guess she is required to be a villainess before she can be allowed to figure it out by tailing you home, or being told of it and then being sworn to secrecy while she’s fucking the Joker on the side. Holy shit, your fanfic is causing you to have the integrity of a hypocrite, author.

"OK, well first I want to meet Harley Quinn and rub her belly."

Whether it be a fangirling joke or a fetish thing, I don’t care, its weirding me out no matter what.


"Next I want to have a Batarang." She smiled.

He pulled out a Batarang and handed it to her, "Careful with it."

"Finally I want to fuck you. I want your Baby cream inside me and on my face."

"That is a bit dirty." He chuckled slightly.

We got telegraphed this expected turn of events two hundred words ago, I’m surprised you’re even smuggling in an excuse of sex as payment for this, author, while circumstantially this risks an actual impregnation for the cock-contracted surrogate. Can that now gilded secret identity hide from child support claims and a DNA test, you moron?

"I have had a crush on you since I was 12 sir." She ran her hand across the exposed part of his face. "Sorry if I'm creepy."

Jumps at the first word to get a green abomination growing in her uterus because of Batman? Nah, that’s just the average Gothamite for you, I’m sure.

"I get called that all the time deary. And sure." He smiled and began to strip

"Leave the cape and belt on."

The mask has to go, though.


Don’t patronize me for what I’ve read already, you whack wanker.

Minutes later Batman's nude body was exposed under the cape and the woman had his beast as deep as she could take it.

Anything between one inch and five feet, since the author thinks descriptions are meant to be vague.

She slowly fingered herself as she sucked on the head of her hero's cock.

I might have underestimated him, yet again, seeing as these two descriptions puts a rotisserie to fucking shame.

She stood up and turned around exposing her tight wetness. He slowly slide his hard dick in her and she let out a howl of pure joy. "Yes Batman!" He continued to pump and he pulled the woman up to allow her kiss him, their tongues danced in a flurry of passion as Batman massaged the large tits. He broke the kiss to begin pumping her faster and harder. She moaned louder and louder.

Even porn must have better quality than this endless droning of continuously escalating speeds, noise and tongue ballets. Is there nothing in this author’s muddled brain than brisk friction and wet organs?!

For a few minute they embraced in and enjoyed the force and feeling until Batman pushed the woman on the ground. He turned her on her back and lifted her legs on his shoulders. "Batman, thank you." He nodded and smiled before sliding his beast back in his admirer. He pumped downward, and upward and gyrated his hips.

Somehow this makes the Batusi seem more dignified.

The head of his cock slowly pushing deeper and deeper into the woman until finally hitting her cervix. The he began pumping faster and faster until her voice was that of choir angels,

I am beginning to think you are both drunk, high, delusional, and a troll at this point author, because this pandering and nonsensical schlock couldn’t even be taken serious in a porn parody.

and he finally released his first load into her body. She felt the cream move inside her as she lowered her legs

She dropped down and immediately began suck his cock again. Sucking on the head while using her hands to jerk his shaft in a turning motion.

That’s more in line with how you crank a wind-up toy, not how you rub a dick. What sort of sad, mutilating sex life do you even have, author?!

His precum flowed into her mouth and she giggled as she kissed his tip. She began sucking on the bottom of the shaft and slowly moved her way down to his sack. She continued to jerk his shaft in the turning motion.

Just remember; lefty loosey, righty tighty.

The sound of gunshots frightened the woman and she tightened her grip on his cock. So with out making a sound Batman covered her with the cape and she smiled at him. She then began sucking on the sack itself, slowly taking in one of his testies while rubbing only the head of his cock,making the big beast moan.

Batman’s dick is a beast, he’s been called a beast, and he has also been described to have an inner beast during sex, so which one is it now? The more this author uses words as lubricants for his fantasies, the less they will stick.

For ten minutes she allowed him to pound her a few times, making her gag,

You can’t even keep track of your fantasies of a woman with your nuts in her mouth, leading you to describe to me how she’s being beaten through the act, author. Get a different kind of grip on yourself already!

and then jerking him with both of her slender soft hands, until finally she felt his cock pulsate and she received the baby cream she wanted. A streak across her cheek, another from her chin to her eye and two in her hair, as well as a few drop on her tongue and tits.

Not to call you uninspired and boring, but Zorro would have made a ‘Z’, just saying.

"Happy?" Batman managed to moan.

"Oh yes." She hugged her hero. "I should tell you my name...shouldn't I?"

As if anyone, even yourself, cares. Any luck it won’t be the name of the porn actress the author just jerked it to?


"I'm Hannah McGraw. I live at the University but I came here to show my friends I was no coward."

"Well now you are not a coward, and you fucked Batman."

She’s outrageously stupid, and so are you, and the author. You deserve each other.

"And is going to be the surrogate mother to yours and Ivy's children."

Did Ivy ever even mention a survival rate for her spawn incubators? Kind of got my reasons to be concerned, you know?

"Yeah." He held the girl close. "Thank you." she nodded and they said their farewells

Batman met up with the vixens. He explained what happened and how the girl volunteered to be the surrogate.

"How was she?"

Even more of a blank slate than you and the other regular fleshlights the author pins to his Batman posters every night.

"Pretty good. Nice tongue skills, but you three are better." He chuckled and they continued their search for Joker and Talia.

I hope you enjoyed the chapter, I wrote most of this on the road. Family vacation to New Jersey ._. woohoo...

Get out of there, right now! Hasn’t New Jersey suffered enough?

Anyway, hope you comment, review, send me some of those previously mentioned pictures or a new idea ya'll have for me. Any who Thanks for reading and have a great day.

I just wish you’d cut the crap, drop the pretense, and outright admit that this story has nothing to do with either Batman or even wanting to write a story. You write this for cheap titillation, bad grammar, and lamentation of even more vapid, drooling dullards than yourself. You want to be king of the jerkoffs so much, why not be honest about it?

Anyway, as per my latest trend, here’s a trio of hastily glanced mocking, ‘Amazing Horse’ edition:

Title: Pinkie Pie's Party
Series: My Little Pony

Quote: "Lets just say clothes are not allowed, neither are condoms, and viagra is ok for the males." Pinkie Pie laughed.

I’ll neither object nor question this, considering a condom package in that universe must be about the size of a soap box, and a bitch to open with hooves.

Title: Soaring Through the Rain
Series: My Little Pony

Quote: Soarin laughed as the urge to release began to build inside him, "I don't think having sex with a few chicks makes me some sex-pert."

How ironic, considering what the author would want to imply with the bulk of his stories.

Title: Pains and Pleasures
Series: My Little Pony

Quote: "Oh and Callus. No condoms." Tulip giggled. "Mating season is meant to get us pregnant, so why resist it?"

As this author sinks deeper into his impregnation fetish, I’m not surprised he inserted himself into a guy whose name rhymes with ‘phallus’.

This post has been edited by ConcernedGamer: Jul 31 2017, 03:14 PM

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Post #32

I'm very concerned.

Group: Members
Posts: 608
Joined: 3-January 13
From: Denmark
Member No.: 787
Gender: Male

post Aug 6 2017, 03:05 PM
Well, better get a move on, because these 'heroes' certainly aren't. Here's Chapter 29, Children of the Green.

Batman landed at the front of the entrance to the League of Shadows clan.

You know, that entrance in Wonder City, an underground location below Gotham guarded by ninjas. Iím sure thatís easy to land at. And itís the League of Assassins, author. You are mixing the movie series name for Raís faction into this now.

He walked to the door and pounded on the door three times. Suddenly Ivy and Selena landed next to him and the door opened slowly. "Where is Talia?"Batman boomed.

"She died." One of the guards said as they pointed their weapons at the trio. "Now leave."

Yes, please leave, before the author makes this into more of a silly club house than a faction of assassins and spies bent on killing anyone with as much as a hunch that they exist.

"I know of the Lazarus Pit."

The one that was destroyed during the Arkham City incident? The one that even this author mentioned was tainted by Clayface dropping into it? Did the author slip into a coma and forget his entire story, and the games themselves?!

Batman quickly disarmed the guards and began walking through the underground castle.

"Stop him." The guards yelled as Talia's personal guard appeared.

As the women in charge of Talia's safety charged at them Robin appeared atop a balcony. "WAIT!" He shouted, "These three are not your enemies."

What the fuck would you know, bird boy? Last you were in this fic, you were eloping with a traitor of this faction. This is the exact opposite place youíd be expected to show up and barking orders for people to comply.

Suddenly the women stopped and realized that it was the real Batman with the two wicked women.

Heís not the real Batman by any stretch. And even so, as the man bent on ending their league, open arms is the last thing theyíll welcome him with.

"I have come for Talia, I know she lives."

"And?" The guards asked.

ĒAnd I want her to bear my seed. Sort of. Maybe that too. The author canít help himself at times.Ē

"And she will want to speak to me." He spoke surely as he walked past the ladies into the room behind them and saw Talia, standing covering her mouth.

"My love!" She ran over to him and hugged him. "You live."

Exactly when was it believed that Batman was dead? I mean, sure, he hasnít shown himself for a while, but are you saying this Illuminati-conspiracy wet dream terrorist group couldnít as much as smell the month-long orgy happening in their local neighborhood?

"Of course Talia, but I have come to ask a favor of you." He took her into the room with the two ladies beside him. He shut the door and proceeded to explain everything.
Afterward Talia walked to the wall and leaned against it, thinking to herself what she should do. She proceeds to turn and nod at him. "I will do it if you make love to me afterward and I get to bare your child."

Wait, are we going to postpone the attack on Joker by six more months or something for this? The entirely selfish and obnoxious motivation currently propelling these events, is the fact that Batman canít help but take it upon himself to fulfill every nearby bimboís dream to conceive his offspring, before he might die at the hands of Joker, delaying this feared confrontation by a factor of a million and leaving nothing left worth saving!!

Batman turned to Ivy and Selena and they nodded, "How about right now?" Selena said with a lustful tone in her voice. "Only condition is that you get cummed on not in, so me and Ivy can lick it off of you."

Someone here is not getting what causes a pregnancy, and at this point it might be all of us.

"So lewd. So lesbian. So dirty."

So clichť. So boring. So fucking unheroic!

Talia said with a simple no tone, "OK, but you have to share it with me too." She said, "A bit not my style, but it is for the love of my beloved."

Is this bickered cum haggling a turn-on for you now, author?

She smiled and began to undress. Selena unzipped her catsuit, Ivy dropped the shirt and dispatched the shrubs. Within a minute the three women began undressing Batman, kissing his flesh as they pull it off him.

Attached Image

Is this starting to turn into a Happy Tree Friends fanfic or is it just me?

"Ladies. You know how to treat a man."

"We try." Ivy said with a chuckle.

Every yearning emphasis in this kink wish list is making me hold tentative mourning for your marriage, author.

Talia pulled off his cape and cowl, Selena removed the final leg out of his boxers and Ivy tore off his chest,


his shirt, tossing it next to the armor he wore. Immediately Selena and Ivy began sucking on either of his testicles as he lifted Talia up. She wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck and she began to bounce up and down,

Easy there, Tigger, how about we get told you get on the dick first?

Bruce using his strength to force her down harder, soaking more of his cock with her juices.

Ivy and Selena began to moan as they tasted Talia's sweet juices dripping into their mouths off Bruce's sack. Ivy reached over to Selena and slowly slid two fingers into her as Selena did the same for her. The feeling of their sexual satisfaction begins to drive them wild, Ivy beckons in her mind three groups to vines.

They burst through the wall, unnoticed and without complications for this underground, fortified castle of ninjas, of course.

The vines wrap around their respected woman and slowly crawl up her leg to her ass, where they begin to rub and prod. Making all three women more and more satisfied until finally Ivy stop sucking and screams out in pleasure, Selena's hands now covered in Ivy's creamy honey. Ivy lifted up Selena's leg and slid under her so she could dive into Selena style pie while she herself called another vine to pleasure her clit with rapid rubs and another to penetrate her and pulsate pumps into her, against her raw G-spot.

This is like reading a Mad Lib gone wrong, with the author filling in his template spank material with non-applicable adverbs.

Selena moaned into Bruce's cock as Bruce lifted and rotated Talia to expose her to the world,

Yes, Iím sure turning her 180 degrees in an enclosed space truly made the world the wiser, you wannabe porn director.

legs spread far apart, clit swelling from the repeated rubs against Bruce's hard body. Selena moaned as Ivy's vine plunged into her and Ivy's tongue twirled around her clit as she began to lick and suck on Talia's clit making her moan even louder then before.

Hold on a moment, where did Robin go anyway? Did the author forget he exists again, after having him be an excuse for no combat action in this lazy chapter?

"Oh Bruce, my love! Fill me with that beast. Fill me with your cock." She gasped for a breath as her vine also plunged into her and began expanding, forcing moans and lewd yelps as it pulsated its size.

Selena started to feel Ivy's tongue rubbing her g-spot inside her as she rubbed the swelling clit on her with two fingers. Selena unconsciously began gyrating my hips into Ivy,

Now we are entering cross-gender self-insert Freudian slips, this author is off the rails!

lustfully moaning as she fondled Bruce's scrotum.

Talia began to tighten around Bruce as she started to release, intensely moaned sexily, her eyes rolling up and her mouth agape, tongue out, her hot breath forcing saliva to drip down, her cheeks running red as her cream slowly slid out and down Bruce's cock.

Because the Ďoí in o-face apparently stand for Ďoff-puttingí. You should consider your talent for describing allergic reactions, author.

Selena's eyes widened and began licking it off his cock and sack as good as she could as Talia's was unnaturally sweeter then others.

A lot of artificial sweeteners went into repairing the Lazarus pit for this zombie bitch, apparently.

The overwhelming flavor sent Selena into an overdrive state with her libido and Ivy expanded her vine inside Selena. Selena moaned loudly before releasing onto Ivy's face and into her mouth making Ivy moan from Selena's sweet cream that slowly oozed out of her.

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When was Ďoozeí even an appealing word in erotica? I donít consider myself a prude, but claiming this unentertaining trash to be arousing should be considered an abuse of the freedom of speech.

Bruce grinned as he heard the lewd sounds around him. The erotic sounds filling his head with images, and memories

But the author forgot where he was going with that utterly pointless sentence, so hereís a new one.

He began to pump up into Talia harder as his head began to go blank and he started to envision Harley, Selena, Ivy and Talia all shifting into one another as he bucked and pumped.

Now I pity this authorís wife, since even his self-insert canít stay in the moment and not fantasize about another addition to his foursome, unappreciative for what is actually happening to him.

He suddenly he pushed Selena and Ivy away, allowing them to enjoy a 69 accompanied by vines. Bruce then dropped to his knees and pinned Talia down. Her voice was lewd as she begged for more and more, obeying her, Bruce pounded her harder and faster and deeper until her shrieks were in pleasure and pain.

To expect one without the other in this fanfic would be rather naÔve at this point. Iíd call the author predictable, if not for the fact that he has the monotony of an answering machine.

Finally, at his climax Bruce roared, pulling out of her and turning her around he released, he chest, face, tongue, and hair were the baby broth's destination as more and more shot out.

A money shot as described by a travel agent.

When all was said and done

Wrapping this thing up like it was a board meeting helps too, of course.

Bruce was standing up being cleaned off by Selena and Ivy while Talia was immobile on the floor, her legs twitching as she tried to move. Moaning with each motion she finally made it back to her bed where she laid on her back, her pussy quivering, her hands rubbing the white sticky all over her.

Yeah, school glue was a favorite of mine, too.

"Bruce...that...was incredible." She finally gasped as he released another smaller load into the kissing mouths of Ivy and Selena. "I'll take them now."

Minutes pass, Bruce and Selena had left the room, when Ivy exits, her smile reassures Bruce that their children will grow.

With or without roots? Itís your lame fantasy author, but could you try to not horrify anyone who happen to be reading it?

Together the trio sets out leaving the League of Shadows and Talia behind them as they head out to search for Joker.

How bored out of his mind must Joker be at this point? Razing Gotham for his joking appetite must have gotten old after a few days alone.

Hope you all enjoyed the chapter, make sure to check out my new story, The Demon's Girl A Harley Quinn X Vergil Crossover,

It just so happens that itís a contender in my spitfire mock for this post. Iíd call this coincidence Ďconvenientí, but I weep for the fact that it will be the only time the word will apply to this fanfic.

and my other new story The Lusty Argonian Maid, a novelization of the play from the Elder Scrolls series. If you have any requests for a new story you would like me to try my hand at please email it to me at the email provided in my profile, or put your suggestions in a review.

And you wouldnít believe the suggestions that came along the way.
  • A prequel to this fanfic with Batman cucking Dick Grayson
  • A crossover with Pokťmon and Zelda: the Ocarina of Time, including a harem for the trainer Red
  • A Sonic (Archie) and Harley Quinn (New 52) romance, with the freedom fighter joining the Suicide Squad.
  • A Sephiroth and Harley Quinn (New 52) story starting off with goring the Joker.
  • Three separate Virgil (Devil May Cry) and Harley Quinn (New 52) romance suggestions, with the Suicide Squad being picked clean of any member not desired.
  • A Two and a Half Men fanfic. No, really.
And everyone, rememeber to review, ask questions, PM me, or submit a picture for the story cover. Thank you and have a wonderful day.

You should apply for a job as a nurse at a sperm donor bank, you seem to provide all the services and mannerisms that I expect from one.

Hereís three more of this authorís atrocious benchmarks branded onto the internet.

Title: Play My Heartstrings
Series: My Little Pony
Quote: "Now stuff us full of cream! "They shit as they make out with each other abs the boys. The drunk and drugged group the yet start to have sex when Shade entered.

What disgusts me more than this is the fact that the author apparently canít proofread his own trash.

Title: The Demon's Girl
Series: Batman & Devil May Cry
Quote: "How do I know you aren't just toying with me?" Vergil's question pushed Harley back making her think. She smiled and dropped to her knees.

That cheeky scamp is going to tie his shoelaces together, isnít she?

Title: A Man and His Sabercat
Series: Elder Scrolls
Quote: "I want a lot of children." She sang slowly and began to slowly move up and down in motion with her husbands thrusts.
"Give me a number." He began to increase hi speed, moaning slightly.
"Over fifty under two hundred." She said seriously as she increased her motion to match his rhythm.

And here I was worrying for nothing, thinking the author maybe masturbated to a specific number all along.

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Post #33

I'm very concerned.

Group: Members
Posts: 608
Joined: 3-January 13
From: Denmark
Member No.: 787
Gender: Male

post Aug 9 2017, 05:28 PM
We are two chapters away from this ridiculous charade coming to an end, so lets get one of them out of the way now and pray the next one won't be as stupid. Here's Chapter 30, Captured.

Batman and Selena arrived at the Ace Chemical plant searching for clues to Joker's whereabouts when a group of Shadow Soldiers attacked them.

But I thought the League of Shadows were okay with Batman now. Oh, right, the fake triple bait and switch Joker goons the author cooked up to stroke his Villain Sue itch. Couldnít even allow your pet faction an original name, post conception, author?

Quickly utilizing their advanced fighting techniques Batman and Catwoman disarm, disable and destroy the group. They allow one to remain conscious and plant a tracker on him in the middle of the fight.

These guys have blown themselves up with explosive vests in the past. Couldnít you rip that off instead of retreading this trick from Arkham City and this very fanfic?

Acting like they were leave, but instead followed the soldier back to his base of operations. The duo followed the man through the main city, as he made his way to the outside where he met with two elite soldiers and was killed. The Lanky Shadow and the Deceptive Shadow both shot him in the head with a 357 magnum

While in a passionate embrace, one held the gun, the other pulled the trigger. Gun porn is bad enough, but the continually failing grammar is starting to demand any reader to reconstruct half of each sentence in order to make heads and tails of it all.

then left, heading towards the forest. Selena looked at Batman with wide eyes, "They just killed him."

Yeah, they are trying to catch up to your own author-permitted body count, as the head start you gave them wasnít quite enough.

"I guess he wasn't supposed to return."

Suddenly gunfire erupted from the forest into the trees where the two hid. Batman quickly dropped down, the bullets following him partially while the others stayed aimed in the trees, moving with Selena's movements.

Only you could make aimed gunfire come across like a novel and surprising turn of events, author.

Batman was suddenly surrounded and he began his assault, dropping a smoke bomb to distract the soldiers, leading into a series of strikes, however the soldiers were unaffected and instead caught Batman's attacks and held him, while the others smashed their rifles against his skull repeatedly until he collapsed, seeing Selena dropping out of the tree after being shot in the legs and left arm.

The only surprise here is that it took a single sentence to start the fight and immediately end it in failure, since the chapter title itself already indicated the author is bankrupt in how to progress a story beyond Batman being knocked out and captured.

Deceptive Shadow appeared with Harley's hammer and grinned as he slammed the weapon into Batman's head, rendering him unconscious.

Suddenly Batman was soaked in ice cold water, his skin felt bare to the world, the sound of bats and beeping echoed around him. Muffled cries radiated around him, he opened his eye to discover he had been blindfolded. "Who is there?" He demanded fiercely.

Someone who seems awfully intent on ripping off any material he can get his cum stained hands on. This reeks of retreading the Death of the Family comic book arc, and all I know of it is hearsay alone.

"You are in no position to demand Batman." The shrill, cold, almost dead shivering voice of the Joker rang through the cave. "After all don't you care for miss Selena...or how about the Butler...Alfred right?"

As much as Iíd like his triumphant return, heís too good for this fanfic, donít you dare, author!

"NO!" Batman suddenly realized his cowl was off, his cape gone, his tights, armor, everything. He was naked.

Iím not surprised he needed the double take, since he spends more time in his birthday suit during this fanfic.

"That's right I know who you are.

Because that wasnít established at all when Bruce was tortured in Metropolis or anything. Tell me the truth, author, have your doctors concluded masturbation to cause early onsets of dementia?

And after all these years. All of our fighting, our troubles, our arguments...oh it makes me laugh that its because you're just an orphan who's delusions of grandeur were able to be fulfilled with your wallet!" Joker began to laugh and suddenly muffled cries rose and the sound of a knife slicing across thick meat echoed in Bruce's ears.

Oh no, the Joker is torturing a poor vegan by serving them a freshly cut glazed ham!

"What have you done!" Bruce struggled to break free and was met with a lash from what felt like a barbed whip.

Okay, Iím starting to believe this author has some strongly suppressed torture porn fetishes that are sneaking into this mess. I mean, thereís only so much you can blame on Ďedgyí tendencies.

"I'm opening my present. I wanna know what you got me." He laughed and removed the gag he had on Alfred.

"Master Wayne..." Alfred gasped as Joker plunged his knife into the old man's knee, pushing and twisting to tear the tendons and ligaments, popping the knee cap off and out, Alfred screaming in pain, the others muffled cries also sounded.

Whatís the joke? Iím being serious here. Joker is not some Hostel knock-off blood and gore craving maniac, author. He can be bloody and grim and malicious, yes, but in any and all incarnations, any act performed towards Batman is to him a performance for his twisted amusement, topped off with a quirky and poignant twist that while founded in lunacy still has a point to it. This is just you puppeteering characters and hoping to impress readers through aimless shock value.

Joker walked up to Bruce and forced his mouth open, Bruce fighting it was lashed again, three more times, finally Joker had his mouth held open and slowly slid the blade across his lips and tongue, Alfred's blood dripping off. Bruce roared and struggled again as Joker removed his blindfold to see Alfred hung naked upside down, slashes across his stomach and small bone under his head, as blood slowly ran down his leg from his knee. "He'll live for a little bit."

And I see my rant is even more justified by every tasteless paragraph. I donít get this. This has no character to it, no meaning, deals in no typical fashion or motif we understand from Batman or Joker, and is still set in the authorís pretentious and empty void of a backdrop, leaving it without identity. Itís like watching a guy prop up a canvas in a spotlight, pouring a bucket of blood all over it, and demanding it be acknowledged as the highest of art.

Bruce stared at Joker with an intense fury when one of the elite soldiers came to him. "Sir just kill him, don't gloat!" Joker suddenly nodded and pulled out a comically large Magnum, aiming at Bruce between the eye he turned the gun on the Soldier and fired, his brain matter splattering everywhere.

"Fuck you." Joker grinned,

This is your level of quipping for the so-called Clown Prince of Crime, author? You are not writing the Joker here, you are writing Lobo. And on that note; what the fuck happened to Superman? Even Batman has forgotten he existed!

"you see I want you to escape, I want you to kill me. I want you to prove that even someone as self righteous as your sorry ass can have a bad enough day."

Looks like the author read a few hastily scrawled notes about the Jokerís motivations and copy pasted them into this story, in an attempt to convince his readers that this awful mockery is supposed to be the genuine character. And the Ďself-righteousnessí of this Batman went out the window the moment he enjoyed watching his pussy-providers and even Bane kill people!

Joker smiled his yellow grin and forced Bruce's head to turn, to see that Joker had also caught Ivy, Selena, and Harley, who were being brutally violated by numerous soldiers one after another after another.

Must be the most silenced gang rape in history for the author to realize he first now had to add something to whack off to before he lost interest.

"Look at their faces, faces I have personally covered, along with my many soldiers." Joker laughed and shooed away the soldiers penetrating Selena and brought her to him, put the gun against her head and smiled. "I could kill her, watch as the light in your eyes dies and then my soldiers would continue to rape her, even using the bullet hole to fuck."

Nice try, author, but I havenít even been convinced this Batman wouldnít join in right then and there. Just like this hastily cobbled mess of events of silent characters in a charade of filth and cum, the authorís self-insert has had more thoughts condoning rape than not, mostly about it being done onto himself!

Joker laughed and pulled the trigger, the sound of a bulled echoed in the halls and that was it. He laughed manically, dropping into a crouch to keep from falling. "I'm not gonna kill her." He walked up to Bruce and tussled his hair, "You are."

I donít think you can kill someone twice, or does the author not realize that the omission of descriptions is not the evidence to the contrary? I think I just summarized every issue with regard to descriptions in fanfics.

Against his wishes Bruce's body began convulsing and his right hand was freed, Bruce suddenly grabbed onto Selena's throat and began choking her. Joker laughing, tears running down Selena's crusted face. Bruce struggled and finally after Selena's body went limp and she had stopped breathing for more then five minutes Bruce had control again and Joker walked up to Selena and stabbed her in the back with a syringe. Bruce's hand was restrained and Selena's body began convulsing as Adrenaline coursed through her veins, reviving her barely.

If you are assuming I was even convinced this was going to mean anything, outside the author thinking mind control is a power Joker now has for some reason, the author should consider not labelling future chapters with the names of characters in their sex scenes. I gave him the strained benefit of the doubt at the off chance of necrophilia.

Joker laughing once more pushed Selena back over to the soldiers to be violated. The madman removed Bruce's gag and smiled. "I see you have a question." Joker smiled, "Ask."

Can Ivy only call upon the out-of-nowhere plant vines when she needs them for sex?

"How did you get soldiers like this?" Bruce asked.

Ah, demanding exposition to let the author stroke his massive ego boner, so people can marvel at his villain-creating genius. What a hack.

"Internet is a wonderful thing...and apparently I am some kind of phenomenon. I found out a bit before Arkham City was opened, that I was dying, immeditately I went out and set up numerous plans." Joker raised his hands, "I know...I don't make plans...well this time I did." he smiled, "I wanted to retire...but I needed you dead."

Fuck you, author. The Joker makes plenty of plans. You canít make a joke without a setup, you ingrate. Are you telling me Joker had no plans going on in Arkham Asylum? That the Titan project, the Blackgate prisoners, even his decided capture and delivery to the place where he would announce the sprung trap, was all coincidence? And now you are muddling all possible motivations, contradicting the shit you ripped off from everywhere else. You are jerking off on your readers and having the gall to call it rain.

"That was the whole blowing up Old Arkham?"

"Yupo." Joker spun around, "But you lived...so I activated Plan B, I would rule Gotham as a King until the government deems it necessary to nuke the city, using my precious cult of followers." Joker smiled and turned around, "Thank you all for being batshit crazy college kids with expendable lives and bank accounts." He chuckled and turned back to Bruce.

So, according to this whimsical authorís fantasies, college kids could fund a terrorist organization. I guess student loan debts happen for a reason.

"What about Laughing Shadow." He asked

ĒI know the loves of my life are being raped right in front of me right now, but we need to outline every intricate detail and twist the author has thought of but didn't know how to introduce this chapter.Ē

"What about him?"

"Who is he?"

I thought that was plenty established already, but the author needs to pretend that there is more to his characters in this deflated cum soufflť of a story.

"Look around...who do you not see here." He reached and unlocked Bruce's head from the contraption. He looked around and saw Alfred, Selena, Ivy, Harley, he had captured and killed Twoface, his entire 'good' side was fried in what looked like oil, Joker had captured Riddler and impaled him on a spike that he painted yellow like an exclamation mark. And all through out the cave Joker was displaying every other Batman enemy in the city, killed in some 'funny' way.

Attached Image

Itís not even funny in the sense that Joker would have it. This is the depiction of the misconception of irony. While humor is certainly subjective, this is the objectively superficial meanderings of a moron at a keyboard, thinking it poignant to derive half of an empty motif of a comical end and called it a day after he scratched his balls. What would be a Ďfunnyí way for Two-Face to die? Being split down the middle, you imbecile. What would be a Ďfunnyí way for the Riddler to die? Crushed by a sphinx, you moron. This fanfic is an empty void of a pretend author writing down his fetish fantasies and excusing them by writing a clueless, rudimentary edgelord trash heap for it to fester in, without even the courtesy to consider who and what the characters within it represent.

And surrounding the dead trophies and Bruce was Joker's army of horny confused mentally twisted college kids

Then get back in line, author.

who were either getting ready to rape the three ladies or were on the floor fucking each other in all manners.

Alfred must have the lungs of a god to drown out this ridiculous theater performance the author wants to pretend is even remotely convincing.


"You boy."

This is supposed to be a climactic, albeit laughable reveal, and the author canít even spell check Ďyourí.

Bruce's eyes opened wide and turned, "Oh yes. Your son, in spirit, is my number two. JUNIOR!" Joker yelled out, calling Laughing Shadow. "Remove your mask, show him who you are." Laughing Shadow nodded and removed the mask, revealing a man with dirty blonde hair and the chiseled features like Bruce.

Iím afraid we are going to need dick measurements for this paternity test. Itís not like any other feature has ever been focused on by this author.

"I am Jack." He looked at Bruce with discontent, "I am the son of Harlean Quinzeal and Bruce Wayne. And I am going to kill my father and replace him with the man who raised me."

"HOW! Joker how?"Bruce's eyes teared up as Jack spoke.

"Science is my bitch! " Joker laughed,

So, all that pretentious moaning and weeping and sobbing and motivational strutting back in Metropolis about this kid being raised in an abusive household and abused in Arkham was forgotten by the author, too? I shouldnít be surprised. Every chapter ignores the previous one, and now itís just outright jumping the shark for the sake of the author thinking himself clever.

"For fuck sake, All of the elite soldiers, even Jack, are modified clones of your son.

Even the female ones? I still would like to know whether that gets Tits McShadow off Bruceís Ďto-doí list.

Sadly your real boy is somewhere in between here and Metropolis. I guess the last clone we made on the road was too much."

Who knew that waiting a month for this confrontation could have allowed that to happen eventually?

Joker and Jack both laughed as Bruce let out a loud cry, "BTW, he was born with a serious form of epilepsy that I've was treating, so I expect you to compensate me for treating your boy and all of the clones."

Wow, a nonsensical mention of a crippling effect caused by flickering light for this armyís elite commanders inside a lit cave, mentioned for no particular reason right as this chapter is about to finish. You couldnít call any less attention to your bankrupt copout for your on-the-go writing style than had it been spontaneous combustion and witnessing true love!! Author, even if all people enjoying this fanfic so far had been clueless mouth breathers, you arenít supposed to assume that and write accordingly, you beguiling amateur.

Joker erupted into more laughter before walking over to his seat. "So, let us see how long you can last Batman."

Jack sat next to Joker and grinned, "Yes...how long...Father."

Last what? This Batman has already admitted little qualms about harming and ending the Joker, and could likely aim a bullet to paralyze him for life. This plot could end by Batman asking for a gun, a bullet, and the Joker to vogue towards him, assuming the confused motivations are bent on pretending this still is a Batman fanfic!!

I hope you enjoyed this chapter, we are drawing a close on this conflict between Batman and Joker, maybe it will end next chapter.

Maybe? To outright admit that you are writing as you go along is just about the last thing youíd want to do, even if itís obvious enough already, author. Why are most of the authorís notes I read akin to people putting a foot in their mouth?

Either way, I promise not to stop writing the smut for you fans, I am deciding however whether to just add it on to this story after all is said and done like epilouge chapters or should I start a new story based around a Batman Harem.

Iíd be thrilled to see whether youíd have an original idea for excusing murderesses and insane criminals getting off scot free, or if youíd rip off your own previous work and write it off to be for simply providing sex.

I would enjoy to know your thought on what I should do, and whether you like the story as it comes to a close. So please review, comment, pm, submit a pic, and/or check out one of my other stories. Thank you and have a wonderful day.

Here is what you should do. Write something better. Write something without sex. Write something youíve thought about for more than fifteen minutes. And write something that you can make yourself read again, so you can catch just half of the narration-crippling issues your story contains.

It's that time again, triple spit-fire mock, or whatever you'd call it.

Title: The Love of the Dark Angel
Series: Batman & Devil May Cry

Quote: "Prince of Darkness?" Harley's voice was that of pure curiosity. "Who is he?"

He's the presiding ruler of the people turning off your fridge light - who the fuck do you think he is, genius?!

Title: ElderCraft: The End Begins
Series: Elder Scroll series & Minecraft

Quote: "I smell Copper and rust...Chocolate fudge...and..."My eyes widen, "Death...decaying flesh!"

Look, I'll promise to organize my items in the future, but who cares if you toss in cookies, metal bars, and zombie bits together into your first chest?

Title: Together at Last
Series: Resident Evil

Quote: "I comingÖcomingÖCOMING!" Claire Shouted as she released and her lustful cum flowed out all over Leon's stomach. She slumped against him as he slowed his pumps. "More honeyÖmore." She said weakly.

And it is by now that I realize the author could be writing every sex scene to be involving dickgirls, as simply omitting the fact of their extra equipment being the only indication to the contrary.

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Post #34

Shillin' Best Girl from Fire Emblem: Echoes

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Member No.: 1,378
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post Aug 10 2017, 05:10 AM
Looking over the entire mock, it baffles me just how identical and unarousing the lemons are. Did the author take lessons from SovietRussiaMan on how not to write a smut fic? If that's the case, then I wonder how long it'll take before the author finds out about the mock and inserts you in as a corrupt defense attorney with a lust for Nino.

Don't give up mate, the final stretch of the story is looming near. Of course there's the matter of all the insidious side chapters tacked on at the end, but I'm sure you can handle that.

List of mocks can be found here: Here

QUOTE (AnItalianGuy @ May 27 2016, 02:03 AM) *
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
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Post #35

I'm very concerned.

Group: Members
Posts: 608
Joined: 3-January 13
From: Denmark
Member No.: 787
Gender: Male

post Aug 13 2017, 12:24 PM
QUOTE (GorillaGamer @ Aug 10 2017, 03:10 PM) *
Looking over the entire mock, it baffles me just how identical and unarousing the lemons are. Did the author take lessons from SovietRussiaMan on how not to write a smut fic? If that's the case, then I wonder how long it'll take before the author finds out about the mock and inserts you in as a corrupt defense attorney with a lust for Nino.

Don't give up mate, the final stretch of the story is looming near. Of course there's the matter of all the insidious side chapters tacked on at the end, but I'm sure you can handle that.

Thanks, GorillaGamer. Luckily, it would appear that the author, DaemonPrince, hasn't done anything new for two years on fanfiction.net, leaving the risk of such Anti-AFTER-type background noise highly unlikely, even if another horrendous typecasting of yours truly would be all the more laughable. But that's besides the point. I've come here to mock, and mock I shall. Hereís Chapter 31, Finale.

Three days after their capture Bruce was almost to his breaking point after watching Ivy get carved to the point that she almost died, Harley was beaten to an inch of her life and Selena was hung upside down and was forced to perform oral on every Shadow Soldier, all while strung up, fed mashed veggies only once a day.

Yes, quite the outrageous torture, this man would be able to withstand this treatment for months if he was simply fed a juicy burger instead.

But Bruce held to his mind by threads. Finally Joker and Jack are standing before him mocking him.

"So Brucey...hows it hanging?" Jack say, pushing on Bruce's cuts.

Did it take you three days to come up with that one, or had it been developing since the day-long torture session a month ago?

"He is really holding out." Joker says, magnum in hand.

"Maybe we should finally kill someone he loves." Jack suggested getting a rise from Bruce as his nerve was tested. "The butler?"

Hmm, let me think. His only father figure, or one of the numerous interchangeable ladies that accumulate on a whim to bear his spawn, not even counting the random strays on the street. So hard to choose.

"No...something worse." Joker said grinning as Bruce's eye widened and he shook his head.

Jack turned around and looked about, "Selena is carrying his child."

"True but who knows, maybe he didn't love her, I know he loves her child though."

Yeah, with the kind of love that will leave him spending months dedicated to producing a replacement before heíll try to save it.

Joker's grin sharpened and Bruce's mind continued to scream at him no.

"What about Harley, he loves her about as much as she loves you."

As unhealthy and unproven as that bullshit is, is it stronger than Jokerís love for Batman? You are kind of missing the entire point of their relationship, author.

Jack walked over to her and put his knife to her throat.

"No...she is carrying my child."

And Iím sure the violent rape marathon by crazed minions hasnít caused any damage to it, whatsoever.

"True. That leaves Ivy" He walked over to Ivy and grinned, "She was the start of his little harem, maybe he loves her the most." He turned to Joker.

Of course. He only got the backup brides so the first one didnít get overused.

Joker shook his head, "I doubt it. Think about it, she is a freak."

Iíd refer you to the kettle and the pot, but this is more akin to the plate calling the soup bowl flat.

"Well who then?" Jack said as he slowly slid his cock deep into Ivy making her scream no into her gag. He began to pump her hard while still talking, "The only other person he would love is his son...who is dead already." Joker laughed maniacally.

"Well not quite, you are actually a perfect copy, only modification was to remove the epilepsy."

Heís an evil clone! Are you fucking kidding me right now? Is the author just going the route of thinking genetics is the only thing needed to garner attachment? Give this guy some therapy, and a writing coach.

"And?" Jack began pumping faster and deeper and harder until he release a low moan and a large load.

"That means you are the closest thing he has to his son. Actually with no other genetic modifications that means he is truly your daddy/" Joker said as Jack walked over to Bruce, who's eyes were watering, begging for them to stop.

Yeah, he canít take more of this aimless, clueless, confused mess, when it is now turning into a torturous circus performance mocking the basics of empathy and morals.

"What are you saying?" He looked into Bruce's eyes, a devilish grin on his face when suddenly the grin disappeared and he began to fall over, his head being pushed to the side as blood splatters from his temples, his bone pulverized lands all over the floor and the sound of a magnum thundered through the cave sending the bats above in a frenzy. Joker beings laughing hysterically and fired into the Boy again to add insult to injury.

Wow, you killed his fake son and your second in command, whom was an active participant in the rape orgy. Thatíll definitely tick Batman off.

"I can make a new one if you want Brucey." Joker's cruel shrill voice cuts through and Bruce's mind snaps, he begins struggling, the elite soldiers stepped back and watched as Joker toyed with Bruce, and Bruce gnawed through the gag and began stretching the restraints.

Which were probably made from tissue paper, because what has prevented these guys from breaking more of his ribs than last time, or have they been prodding him with cue tips up until now?

"All right already!" Joker waved and Bruce was whipped again and again, but did not stop. Joker's eyes widened, "Stop him!" Bruce broke out of the others with ease now and charged at his target, roaring tossing soldier after soldier out of the way. Joker stopped running turned and fired at him, narrowly missing his head.

And Iím sure the entire army watching this are all just too busy with the orgy to do something so intricate as to pick up a fucking gun.

"I'll kill you! You fucking son of a bitch!" He tackled Joker to the ground. Joker countered with a Pack-A-Punch guns, launching the weakened Bruce Wayne back several feet before they began fighting. Punch for punch they were at each others throats, their skill equal, but Joker's health gave him an advantage.

Well, thereís the biggest fucking lie in this entire story. I could take the harem, the Shadow goons, the complete dismissal of Superman Ė okay, I tell a lie, I couldnít take any of that - but the Joker is anything but physically comparable to Batman, and especially not now if this tortured, baby-producing simpleton with mending ribs is breaking apart restraints all willy-nilly. This is not Joker, this is not Batman, and this was never even a fanfic.

He launched Bruce into the floor and pinned him down, Joker then proceeded to strike him repeatedly in the nose, breaking it with his first punch then damaging it worse with each following strike.

Aw, and here I had expected consecutive punches to fix that broken nose right back up.

Feeling the blood flood the back of his throat Bruce spat out his blood into Joker's eyes blinding him for a moment allowing Bruce the upper hand where he grabbed and broke Joker's arm in a single motion. Joker jumped up and ran back away, shouting in pain, seeing that his cult was beginning to doubt him, that his created super soldiers were resenting him.

Because all a whacko, raping, terrorist zealot needs is to see what happens when they donít do the one thing their psychopathic leader employed them to do. Are you fucking kidding me, author?!

Many of the members realizing their mistake began attempting suicide and one even tackled Joker, trying to take him off the ledge, missing however falling off and dying in vein. "Help me!" Joker roared as Bruce grew closer, "I am your God!"

ĒWe established this precisely never, so now the author is perfectly capable of depicting my downfall as per hubris and convoluted slapstick. Carry on!Ē

Joker demanded as Bruce grabbed him by the throat and threw him down. Pinning him down Bruce began repeatedly bashed Joker's head into the metal floor, "That was my son!"

Then scrape up some of Bruce Jr. off the floor and make another one, you bleeding heart.

Stopping as blood began to drip from Joker's nose and ears, Joker still laughed. "What is so funny you dead piece of shit."

"Your s-son is safe." Pointing to a small container, "The baby is in there."

Thatís neither funny nor what the Joker would laugh about, author. Youíre just flip-flopping to get a good ending while thinking youíve garnered what you could from your angst fiasco.

Bruce threw him over to it and smiled, "Open it then."

Baby plus Joker equals what, genius?!

Joker smiled with shattered teeth and held the container with his broken arm, he faced Bruce not even 10 feet away, however directly next to an edge. He opened the container, the sound of a child echoed from it, followed by a gun shot.

Attached Image

At least half the time, this authorís pretentiousness is so obfuscating that this fanfic becomes a Looney Tunes sketch.

Joker's eyes were wide and his smile flickered in between a scowl and a full frown. "Ouch. That...hurt."

A final punch line just as impactful as this story arc.

The container dropped and Bruce dove for it catching it, the baby safe inside needle marks up and down his body. Bruce immediately put the child down and moved toward Joker, as he dropped to his knees and Gordon walked up behind him as GCPD began arresting all of the soldiers and those that resisted with violence were shot dead.

You can count the people Batman has actually defeated on his own in this fanfic on one fucking hand, and those were all faceless goons. Even the damn end of this story has him being saved by outside forces. This pathetic story weíre reading is an embarrassment onto itself.

"Isn't this funny Joker." Gordon put the gun to his head and chuckled, "These past three days you've been trying to break him like you tried with me. You succeeded, like you did with me.

Not only is this inept author so bankrupt that he has to continually steal from any and all source of Batman lore he can find, heís also incapable of doing it correctly. Joker didnít break Gordon, you nincompoop!!

The difference is when Batman saved me he spared you...That is where this goes left..."

Joker began laughing as blood from his nose dripped down and his lungs filled with his blood, spraying it with each exhale. Gordon pulled the trigger, the sound of his gun went off but no bullet, Joker flinched but realized he was safe, letting out a laugh of relief, smiling at Bruce, "That man had me..."He went on to laugh again, he body arching to see Gordon still holding the gun to his head. Joker's smile sharpened, "Now we are talkin'." Gordon pulled the trigger again this time blood sprayed from Joker's forehead and out the back of his neck, sending the demonic clown straight to hell.

And now youíve besmirched every inch of the Batman universe with both your dick, your misconceptions, your ego, and your asinine focus and inversion of every character trait and motivation there could exist for people, real or fictional. Author, you couldnít even involve Gordon more than to be the executioner to leave your self-insert to pretend heís guilt-free, you narcissistic jerkoff. And the Joker just won, congratulations!!!

"It... is... over." Gordon uttered as he dropped his gun and fell down, holding his body up with his slowly weakening arms. GCPD arrested the rest of the Soldiers and super soldiers.

Wow, donít mess with the GCPD, they have stronger manpower than all the protagonists in this fanfic, including Superman.

Bruce collapsed where he stood, blood pooling from his wounds.

His body has been drained of more fluids than that, heíll be fine.

Harley Ivy and Selena freed ran to Bruce's aid. The three women began shouting for help,

I guess Gordon and the police were in the middle of leaving, probably trying to figure out how the hell they even knew how to get here, or when to show up.

as the baby crying, the bats were shrieking, and the soldier-police crowd roared. Gordon looked up at the trio crying out for help. "It is over."

Almost. The author canít leave well enough alone, demanding that we suffer more of this miscreation.

Well I hope you enjoyed the story as this is the end of the story.

Let me just translate that: ĎWarranty expired, no refunds, have a nice dayí. The last bit might be pure interpretation on my part.

Please review for either the chapter or the story as a whole. And don't forget to sign up for free so you can send me messages, and submit your own stories. And before I forget...Epilogue. XD Ya'll didn't think I'd leave ya'll hanging like this.

Because even when youíve hung what little talent you had left, youíll grab onto its legs and pretend itís a swing rope.


Wayne manor standing tall with its new repairs just finished and paint in place the sound of children echo through the halls.

We must have skipped, what, three months into the future?

"Can you believe it?" Harley Quinn spoke as she sat inside holding a book, sitting by a warm fireplace. The sound of a small child echoed through the halls,

Could someone shut up the brat, then, since the author canít stop filing the noise complaint?

She turned to Ivy who was holding two small light green tinted skinned children in her arms as they sucked on her breasts, drinking their mother's milk.

I see Thing 1 and Thing 2 survived bursting out of their borrowed meat cocoons.

"Five years and Gotham barely has recovered."

Yeah, I mean, both all of you and the author were so interested in Gothamís well-being, that this exposition of time comes across as disbelief at why it hasnít recovered at light speed like the Batmobile.

Ivy sat back and smiled. "Do you remember how crazy we were back then?"

"All the 'fun' we had with Bruce." She said adding massive amounts of emphasis on fun.

Ivy laughed, "We still have fun."


This has been another self-contradictory episode of Ďuseless s-expositioní.

Selena entered the room holding a three year old, "We got to get the kids ready."

Minutes later Selena and Ivy both driving minivans to transport Harley and five kids in one and five more children in the other.

Iím almost done with this trash, but Iíll have you know, Iím rolling my eyes at every new line as the pointless, overindulgent self-gratification of this rape-happy mess is trying its damndest to wrap this up with a diabetes-inducing ending.

They arrive at City Hall where a fifteen foot statue of Bruce in his caped crusader outfit.

With or without tights, this fanficís history demands that clarified.

The three women and ten children were greeted with open arms and smiles and thank yous as they made their way to the front where they sat patiently through the ceremony of unveiling another statue, this time of Commissioner Gordon standing with a law book in one hand and his customized handgun in the other,

Iím sure the sculptor caught the details of Jokerís brain matter spattered across his trench coat, while the law book is on fire, too.

and speakers spoke of the commissioner at the podium next to the statue. The final speaker was called forth called the Commissioner's closest friend and most trusted ally, Batman, Bruce Wayne.

So, apparently Gordon is dead? This isnít even an actual funeral, just a schlock statue-commemorated memorial that betrays both what has happened, and injects importance to someone who was barely even in this fanfic. Itís like if a Red Shirt in Star Trek got the same ceremony Spock had.

Bruce walked out from behind the curtain, and made his way to the podium. He struggled as his cane supported him. The children suddenly erupted in a cheer for their father and he began to blush slightly, waving at them to calm them.

Is the cane because of his torture injuries that were never told to us, did he switch legs with Alfred, or did the author mean to imply Ivy is still a masochist in bed?

"I would first like to thank you all for coming to the ceremony."

All those people the author never even bothered to mention. I especially like that whoever it was that was greeting the children showed up, this wouldnít have been the same without them.

He smiled and placed his hand on the statue and began, telling the tale of how they first met years ago,before he was commissioner. He told his tale of how he had saved Gordon from Joker and it lead into how he was saved by Gordon.

At this point, I donít know whether if the author was trying to rip off the Killing Joke, or if he even has a genuine fucking clue what Iím referring to.

Tears freed themselves and stained Bruce's cheeks. "This man...was my hero. Years ago when I began this crusade he helped me, when all other police thought I was a criminal he saw me as a hero, and he defended me everyday against the rest of the force...that...that is a hero.

With everything you failed or pretended to do in the course of the THIRTY chapters before this one, leading an old lady across the street could constitute being a hero.

So please let this memorial be a memory of how he lived...not how he died."

Iím pretty sure you canít memorize what was never established. You even tell me this like Iím supposed to ignore the fact he died while jerking off with his tie on a bit too tight.

Bruce smiled and once again placed his hand on the statue and a tear streaked across his cheek.

Iíll admit, author, itís rare someone like you would even bother faking it this much, seeing as the only reason for your epilogue is to establish that Batman had actual children. You know, that only point of concern and worrying fact that left Gotham fall so far as to be unable to even recover for five years? Yeah, the author kind of forgot how plot works, so hereís the resolution to that, tagged onto a random scene for posterity in a pretend epilogue to a different story than this one.

Ok now its done. I hope you all enjoyed the chapter and the story.

And I hope you enjoy attempting subtly reinforcing your own delusions, by writing two authorís notes for this shit in one post.

The fun will continue with the ladies. I will be posting between 1-5 new chapters on Wednesday(get it, Hump day. XD).

With all the holes youíve dug so far, author, I would have expected your humor to have a bit more depth.

I hope you review and send me some requests for a new story or something you want to see in this, like maybe another character like Vicki Vale or Black Alice. Anyway, thank you and have a wonderful time. And be sure to check out other stories of mine or other writers such as, "My Girlfriend is the Harlequin" by Kixen: s/10516938/1/My-girlfriend-is-the-harlequin

A Danny Phantom crossover story. How delightful. Pass. Iíve got bigger fish to fry, but not before taking out the rest of your rancid tag-alongs, chum.

Title: Undead Detention Scenario B
Series: Resident Evil

Quote: "My name is Leon. I just transferred here. First day too." He chuckled as he thought of the irony.
"Name's Claire. Claire Redfield. And I only came to this school cause my older brother did."

Oh, now thatís new, zombies and highschool, thatís certainly an original formula that no one has ever seen before, am I right?!!

Title: DP Resurrection
Series: Danny Phantom

Quote: "For once Chemistry helped me in life."

ĒAnd being a phantom, I can do all the crystal meth I want, so suck it Mr. White!Ē

Title: What She Wants
Series: Kingdom Hearts

Quote: Ven turned to Aqua, "Mom we got this. How hard could it be to make a Beef Roast?"

I think that depends whether Clarabelle Cow turns out to be a Disney princess.

And that was the last of the authorís sad examples of individual stories. More than half of them, merely at a glance, seemed identical in sex-fixated prattling and pregnancy fetish catering. And Iím about to suffer so much more of it, needing to deal with the Ďbonusí lemon chapters this fanfic provides.

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Post #36

I'm very concerned.

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Posts: 608
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From: Denmark
Member No.: 787
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post Aug 16 2017, 03:37 AM
Who's ready for more of this fanfic's bread and butter? Sex scenes is all we are left with, and I'm tempted to say we never even got a story in this mess. Whatever. Hereís Bonus Chapter 1 (B X H, S X I).

Bruce walked into the bedroom late at night, lights were off and his eyes were closed.

Doesnít matter, the author isnít going to describe Bruceís surroundings even if he had *an all-seeing eye*.

The children were finally asleep and he was finally able to see his ladies. Bruce opened his eyes and turned on the lights. There before him were the Gotham Sirens. Catwoman, Poison Ivy, and Harley Quinn.

Scratchy, Itchy, and Ditzy.

Harley was wearing nothing but her mask, pigtails, and a skirt. Poison Ivy was wearing a sexy teddy made entirely out of vines, revealing everything underneath, but still inviiting the observer to use their imagination.

The authorís imagination, in particular, needs to be shown every inch of flesh before itíll even attempt anything.

Finally Catwoman wore a tight black leather catsuit. She at cut it to let her stomach show from just above her pussycat up to her perfectly shaped breasts.

I have seen worse maternity wear, to be honest.

Bruce grinned and shut the door. "So who is playing with me tonight?" Bruce asked lewdly, inviting them to argue for him.

While I think Iíve already used this joke in a different mock, this is even more apt, so, Iíll take ĎThings you can say in the bedroom, and to your childrení for four hundred, Alex.

"I am." Harley said as she slowly crawled across the bed towards him, her breasts swaying back and forth with each motion. "And I plan on making you scream baby." She winked and laid on her stomach in front of him, she watched as she saw his big buddy slowly peak out from the robe and with that Bruce dropped the robe.

Well, this scene certainly has the cheap corniness of a porn as if made by parents.

Harley's eyes widened and she grinned. She slowly took in the cock into her mouth. She slowly sucked on the head, letting her tongue rub its silky, wet, lustfulness all around Bruce's big boy.

And here I thought it would be Catwoman whoíd tongue bathe their children.

Bruce watched as Ivy and Catwoman began kissing slowly and immeditately accelerating to full out 69, Catwoman's tongue licking Ivy like it was a bowl of milk, and Ivy using her vine to stimulate Catwoman's inner pussy while she kissed and sucked on the kitty's weak point.

Wait, thatís the back of her neck, right? I seriously need to force myself to pretend that this is actually a sex scene half the time, what with this overabundance of tap-dancing synonyms.

Harley slowly rotated around so she was now on her back and her head was being bent back. She grabbed onto the firm ass Bruce boasted and forced his cock to pump into her mouth.

I donít know how Bruce boasts his ass, or how that poor dick is forced to be pumping on its own, I can only say that the crimes you commit against the English language makes this sex scene rank as the funniest one, thus far, author.

He moaned with each motion until finally a small amount of precum dripped and Harley tasted the tang.

With your track record of broth and pie, itís clear to me now that you did an honest mistake and mistook a cook book for a thesaurus, author.

She took in the cock completely one last time and push him out. She then rotated again so her puss was now facing him and his cock began to bob and drool precum onto her clit. "Make me a fucking vegatable tonight honey."

Iím pretty sure thatís both an insult to Ivy, and a racial offense towards half of the children currently living in this house.

Bruce grinned and placed both of her legs on one side, firmly pressed together, she moaned and felt him slide into her. She grabbed at the bed and let out another moan. Bruce let out a strong moan, feeling her tighten her pussy around his hard throbbing meat. Bruce began pumping harder and harder, faster and faster, deeper and deeper until he was forcing his cock to smooch her womb ninty times a minute

The hoops and lengths you jump to rephrase every thought that enters your head makes me want to pinch your cheek, author, as your endless sentence now has to tell us the intricate and specific detail of how they are fucking at 1.5 thrusts each second. What the hell kind of snailís pace was he going at before, by the way?

and with such force that Harley let out a violent moan each time, her cheeks as red as her hair,

If you wrote about fucking Ivy the first time around, author, you should do better at retailoring it than a name find-replace function.

her eyes going blank as her mind followed suit. Her breath was hotter and faster and she felt her self screaming but no sound followed.

Bruce looked up from the woman he was inside to see the two beautiful ladies licking each other while Ivy's vines penetrated them both and vigorously expanded and rubbed everything inside let out a loud lustful moan as she released a large amount of her sweet cream into Catwoman's mouth.

Non-dairy, or will this grammar horror show up the ante of sexual consumables?

Bruce looked back down to see Harley moaning and her mouth agape, tongue trying its hardest not to fall out and drool. She gripped the sheets more and more until her eyes rolled back and she released a loud and long scream as her pussy tightened around Bruce's cock. "Bruce!" She gasped, "More...give...please!" She mumbled as Bruce slowed his assualt.

Yeah, slow down, I mean, the steady rhythmic beat often associated with a resting heart rate is just too fast. What was that I said about your imagination again, author?

"Are you sure?" Bruce asked his lover.

"Of course I am sure." She turned and stared at him with stern eyes, "I want us both to be walking sideways for a month."

I already expected a time skip for the next sex scene, but itís nice of you to be up front about your lackluster segways, author.

Bruce nodded and rolled her ontoher stomach. He pulled her off the bed so she stood up and rubbed her firm tight ass against his dripping meat. Bruce moaned and felt a shudder pulse through him. He guided his manhood down to the twitching pussy of Harley Quinn, he watched as it continued to drool her cream.

Are you ever going to do anal, Bruce? Sorry for interrupting your increasingly sloppy lubrication commercial, but it sounds to me like not only did she want you to knock down her back door, she wants to give you the same treatment.

He slowly slid inside her and they both moaned from the overwhelming pleasure. "Bruce!" Bruce began to pump hard into her and Harley began arching her back up. Quickly Bruce pushed Harley back down she started to scream her eyes widened and her hands began digging and clawing into the bed as Bruce's seven inch rod of steel meaty goodness pressed and rubbed against her weakspots deep inside her.

I see that the author made due with Batman still measuring up to Ivyís 14 inch vines by making both Harley and himself forget about their existence and effect entirely.

She tightened again and Bruce speed up. He began pumping harder and deeper until he was again pounding Harley, having to push her back down to keep the pressure on her pussy perfectly to please her. Her moans became silent and she collapsed into the bed as she lost control over her legs and her pussy shook and twitched and cried out for more. "Fill me! Bruce! Fill me with your cream!"

This author imagines himself so far up this fictional vagina, that heís not even aware that he has turned it into a muppet accidentally puppetered to speak the lines he intends for his brainless and pretentiously described spank material.

She screamed as Harley and Bruce watched Ivy penetrate Catwoman with multiple vines. Ivy sucked on Catwoman's exposed breasts and moved between it and her lips to pleasure both her lips, tongue, and her breasts.

Whoíd have thought? Here I thought that action was to pleasure her elbows, knees and toes.

They moaned into each others kiss and finally Catwoman released, flooding the bed where they lay.

What rotten luck. Two canoes between them, and they both seem to have sprung a leak.

Bruce arched back and he felt the presure building, he felt her pussy sucking him in deeper as he hammered his cock into the tight wet silk of Harley's wonderful slit. "Harley!" Bruce released his load into the womb of his lover, moaning as the cream filled his lady.

As you seem so focused on women bearing children, even proclaiming to be a father yourself, author, I had expected the basics of a womb to at least not be as obscure to you as good grammar is.

Bruce felt Harley tighten and finally release, her mouth wide open and drool flowing out as she tries in vain to regain her thoughts.

What grueling waste. What thoughts do you even proclaim these orgasm-addicted dingbats to have besides exactly that, author?

Bruce collapses next to her and slowly drifts off to sleep.

Insta-coma, yet again. I fear for both the authorís cardio and his wifeís satisfaction at this point.

Ivy and Catwoman crawl over to them and drag them up to the head of the bed.

Could you at least put down a towel or two, first? Theyíll prune in the pool you gushed out, otherwise.

Ivy then kisses Bruce and Harley before moving down to Bruce's still throbbing and drooling cock. She took the entire slightly flacid cock into her mouth and sucked it dry. She then proceeded to kiss Catwoman and let some of the juices flow into her mouth as they broke their kiss, a string of saliva and cum dripped onto both Harley and Bruce.

Youíve exposed each other to more than enough quantities of your own and each otherís bodily fluids to make a dozen sex-based super villains as per this neglected and misused universeís logic.

Ivy swallowed her cream and closed her eyes,drifting off as the ecstasy of the night kept her mind high, her body was low.

Sounds more like Ivy has been sampling her own hemp teddy.

Catwoman swallowed the milk and moaned as she felt it slowly slide down. She curled next to Bruce and watched as his cream flowed out of Harley's pussy, she crawled down and proceeded to lick and suck up all the milk that was flowing from her friend.

Stop transforming everything that turns you on into food, especially if you canít even do it right, author! The next sex scene had better not give me yogurt!

Once finished she to let her mind drift as she fell to sleep.

The four sleeping soundly, dreaming of the what to do for tomorrow night. Smiles cut across their faces as joy fills their minds and bodies.

Well, it had to, seeing as this tripe couldnít touch on any of that until now. These sex scene happen with the mindless, empty-headed silence, and emotional range Iíd expect from a quiz panel on the words of wisdom spoken by Donald Trump!

Well I hope you liked this, Like I said, the story is done, but I promised I would continue to publish bonus chapters for you all.

If there is at least one thing I can respect about you, author, itís that you donít deal in empty threats.

If anyone has a request for the next chapter, such as your favorite position, or actions the ladies should take, or even a new character added to spice things up, send them in and I'll see what I can do for you all.

Call me crazy, but I donít think youíd accept my requested action of them having a divorce.

I would like to answer a few questions for my fans who have been sending in requests, I will be trying to do your stories, but I am a busy man sometimes, especially when I now have almost 10 requests and some of you ask for 7-8 thousand word chapters. I do want your suggestions and will try them out, but I,like I said, am a busy man at times.

You canít jerk off and write at the same time, I guess, so thatís a fair enough excuse.

Now I have a request for my fans who request stories as a guest, while it is fine, I am not able to send you a PM or an email to answer you. If you were to sign up for a FanFiction account I would be able to respond and you could get email updates about when I publish new stories or chapters.

If only there was some way for you to publish your answers to them indirectly, somewhere they were likely to read it, maybe even while you addressed the particular topic of their responses, during the specific point at which you are demanding more requests yourself, genius!!

Lastly I would like to thank everyone, this has been a fucking amazing month, almost 10,000 views and over 2,300 visitors, I love you all for that.

Yeah, I understand how youíd want to focus on those numbers, instead of the comparatively abysmal turnout of favorites and follows that to this day only sit at 217 and 148 respectively.

One down, seven to go. Let's see if this author can even get inspired by whatever his fans threw his way.

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Post #37

I'm very concerned.

Group: Members
Posts: 608
Joined: 3-January 13
From: Denmark
Member No.: 787
Gender: Male

post Aug 18 2017, 04:55 PM
No time for thinking up a contradictory, witty and self-aware intro now, there is mocking to be done. Hereís Bonus Chapter 2 (Bruce X Selena).

Selena was walking through the mansion, she was dressed in a long green and black dress, ending just above the knees. She listened to the kids leave with Harley and Ivy for some time at the park. She smiled and her mind began scheming.

ĒIf I make it look like an accident, my children will get to inherit everything. I suppose weed killer can take care of it all.Ē

Minutes later she watches Bruce leave his office with his cup, wearing only his pajama pants.

Is Batman just permanently benched in fatherhood now, or did the author honestly think that all crime was eliminated with his lackluster execution of supposedly all of Batmanís rogues gallery at the hands of the Joker, with no explanation for it?

She quickly ran into the room and hid under the massive desk so she was unseen. Bruce enters the room and sat at the table, his legs spread apart. Selena smiled as she realized he was not wearing any boxers, she slowly crawled up to him and saw how preoccupied he was in his work.

With Alfred now in a wheelchair, cleaning his own desk takes hours out of this billionaire philanthropist desk job.

She slowly unbuttoned his pants hole. She giggled in her head when she saw that he was still unaware of her presence. ~"Super senses my ass...he doesn't even see me."~

Alright, Iím able to entertain the notion that your bankrupt understanding of all that is Batman has something I can learn from. By all means, author, go ahead, tell me what Ďsuper senseí he has.

She carefully took hold of his cock with only two fingers, and Bruce groaned as he concentrated on his work. Suddenly, the entire limp cock dangled in front of her and she giggled slightly as she began to kiss and lick it.

I donít know what sort of mental nerve-numbing state you need to be in to not notice the slightest hint of a cock goblin trying to steal your family jewels. Is this what circumcision does to people?

Bruce's eyes widened and looked down to see Selena with his limp dick in her mouth. "What...I am not even gonna argue...Enjoy."

She pulled his cock out and slowly stroked it, watching it slowly get harder and harder. "Oh I plan to." As he reaches his maximum hardness she slides the cock into her slick silky mouth.

Could you start masturbating into something else than a handkerchief, author? Iím starting to get tired at how every cavity you imagine is furnished with silk.

She begins to suck on the tip. Bruce moans slightly as he feels her tongue twirling around the head. He shook his head and returned to his work as Selena's lewd moans as she sucked the cock in deeper.

Because what way to make these bland sex scene even more exciting? Have the male part entirely separated from the act.

She eventually was deepthroating him over and over making his body tense as he resisted moaning each time. She stopped and returned to sucking on the tip only, her hand stroking the shaft of his cock over and over

And over and over and over, right? I knew these sex scenes were similar, but would it kill you to get more variation in your phrasing, author?

until she felt the pressure building. Bruce looked down at her and she sent him a wink as she suddenly stopped all motions and sexually pleasurable actions.

Ah, shit, she must have run out. Well, you better clean her out while you change the batteries, too, author.

As Bruce began to reach down to force her to continue the door suddenly opened and standing there was a still sixty looking Alfred with a young man wearing a dark suit,

Wow, I wonder what fetish we are currently going to be enacting through the not at all contrived and pointless circumstances that set up this stage. I mean, the setup felt so natural and meaningful.

"Master Wayne. Master Greenburrow." Alfred said looking at his young master in his chair, he realizes he already had company.

Alfred is probably just amazed at this deviantís decency to be doing it behind a desk, this time. By the way, Bruce is still only in his pajama pants, but clothes are only of fetish importance in this universe, I hope youíve noticed.

"Thank you Alfred." Bruce says calmly as Selena deepthroated his cock. "Come sit, Mister Greenburrow."

"Thank you but I would like to stand." He said as he placed his hands by his sides from his back.

ĒIíll be as brief as inhumanly possible, if you donít mind. I saw the stains on all the furniture I passed when walking this far, and I canít say whether I havenít contracted an STD by merely speaking in your presence.Ē

"What can I do you for." Bruce said smiling kindly at his collegue, resisting moaning from the tongue twirl and ball massage.

"I would like to request something on behalf of my office at Wayne Enterprises."

ĒThere seems to be rising concerns about your recent motion for a Ďsexual harassment lawsuit exceptioní act.Ē

The tool said with a slight hesitance.

Easy there, author, you donít have to insert yourself into this story twice.

Selena chuckled at how pathetic this man was as she stroked his manhood with a strong grip.

Keep fucking up your grammar and youíll only prove me right in all my points, author.

"They put you up to it?" Bruce asked, again calm but the gnawing desire to force Selena onto the table and pound her hard bit at his mind again.

"Y-yes sir." The puppet said.

ĒThey said something about you and a fifty foot pole, but I hesitate to mention how they wanted to put you at the end of it.Ē

Selena then grinned as she spend up the speed of her sucking and tongue twisting and twirling, trying to get Bruce to break. She fondled his sack and slowly slid the entire cock into her mouth, letting it sit in the back of her mouth, the pressure of her throat sweezing on the hard cock and Bruce let out a short and low groan. "Well what is it?"Bruce said smoothly disgusing his moan as a bad stomach. "Alfred, can I get some Ginger Ale please?"

Howís he going to get one with the no doubt limitless amount of sperm-enhancing fruits and libido-plant drugs that you need at hand to binge on, in order to even pretend that your war-ignoring, month-long orgy was normal?

"Of course, Master Wayne." Alfred said leaving.

Selena then pulled the cock out and with both hands she massaged his cock's head as well as firmly stroked the shaft and her lips found themselves around his scrotum.

When are they not? They have an hourly fellatio quota to fill on their punch card, after all.

As time went on Selena continued to try and get Bruce to moan or beg while he had company, even as Alfred brought him his drink and saw Selena's vicious deepthroat, ball fondle, combo.

Thank you, I really needed to know how Alfred watches his adopted son receive oral. Next youíll probably lay out how he cleans up all the bat-shit in the cave and gives the pests a fresh diaper and a bottle, while their parents keep trying to produce more!!

However as soon as the door shut on Greenburrow Bruce's smile turned from friendly to down right lustful.

No, no, no, the phrase is Ďhe hates to watch him leave, but loves watching him goí, author.

He suddenly pushed himself back out from the desk and pulled her with him. "That game was nice but now I get to play." She struggled playfully and pushed him away but he caught her and lifted her up and slammed her down onto the desk, Bruce then immediately slid his cock deep into her making him finally moan low and long.

Iíll just give Alfred the benefit of the doubt and tell myself he left in disgust a long while ago, planning out his retirement and vow of celibacy at what he has witnessed with all of you still unexplainably exempted from the law.

"Now you fucking moan." Selena says as she continue to struggle a little.

"And you are going to moan for me. And moan you will."

Iím right there with you until my migraine meds kick in.

He grinned and he began to lift her left leg up and placed it on his left shoulder. He grabbed her hands and as he pulled her up he felt her tightening around his cock.

Two tight holes for poking into. Itís like every woman in this dreck is a slightly sexier version of a Chinese finger trap, we canít even tell the difference half the time.

He grinned when she was at the perfect tightness and soaking wet, creating a puddle on the desk.

With ten kids thus far, Bruce might have misunderstood wearing protection during sex as to be referring to galoshes.

She moaned slightly as he began to pump into her, holding onto her elbows and using them to force her into him with a sharp pull. He moaned loudly and felt the pressure building again. "Time to drink up." Suddenly Bruce's calm and even, slow paced pumping became erratic and violent.

But how many thrusts per minute, author? How could we possibly tell without such riveting measurements?

He bellowed as his thrusts pressed his cock against her womb, making her scream with joy each kiss, as his cock begging entrance for his sperm. He moaned and his eyes flashed as he began to release his cream into Selena's drooling pussy, filling her womb and slit until it drooled onto the desk, Selena's eyes were closed and her breathing erratic she was overcome with the intoxicating desire and satisfaction that she collapsed into a deep sleep.

Because with blood pressure rivalling a runnerís high, of course you immediately lapse into unconsciousness as if you hit a brick wall as a result of sex, I mean, thatís just the sign of a healthy body and proper bodily functions.

"Well...I'm gonna be having another little kitten soon." Bruce chuckled and kissed Selena and placed a large quilted blanket over her.

Iím sure sheíll appreciate that obscenely wasted attempt at detail, once she peels out your paperwork, fountain pens, and letter openers from her ass, and visits a chiropractor about her coincidentally mahogany-like muscle tension.

He walked to the door and locked it to keep un wanted visitors out.

You know, like, anyone whoís not supposed to be on private property at this point. Do business meetings ever even happen at Wayne Manor?

He sat in his leather chair and reclined slowly drifting off as he heard the kids and the ladies return from the city trip.

At least heís rich enough to pay for their eventual child psychiatrists.

Well another chapter of lemony goodness, hopefully you all are enjoying.

When life gives me lemons, I usually laugh. And point. This time was no exception.

Make sure to review, check out some other stories I got, and lastly don't forget to request an idea you have for me to write. Thank you and have a wonderful day.

Could you even be bothered to mention whether this chapter was one such inspired request, or are you intentionally keeping it in the dark to harbor all the appreciation for it?

Two out of eight, still going strong. This will get done one way or the other eventually, but let's see if I can't make it in time.

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Post #38

I'm very concerned.

Group: Members
Posts: 608
Joined: 3-January 13
From: Denmark
Member No.: 787
Gender: Male

post Aug 20 2017, 03:22 PM
Well, this is a short one coming through, but it leaves us with just as many reasons to roll our eyes and shudder in disgust. Hereís Bonus Chapter 3 (Bruce X Harley).

Bruce was laying in bed, covers over his body, his head resting against the soft pillow, blankets scattered. He listens to Selena leave running for the bathroom,

Yesterdayís burritos or just diarrhea?

"And another one on the way." He chuckles to himself, his eyes closed as he slowly awakens, when suddenly the feeling of soft, plush lips pressed against his stomach, a gentle, smooth hand holding his hardening cock.

Commissioner Gordon, is that you, back from the dead?

Slowly the hand began to stroke the shaft of the bobbing and throbbing cock. Bruce opened his eyes to see Harley's beautiful blonde hair covering her face as she kissed lower on his stomach.

And even as this story took years to write, the author is still too inept and talentless to simply indicate how hair frames a face, rather than making every bimbo into Cousin It.

Bruce ran his hand through he hair, her eyes lifted up and looked into his. "Morning my love."

"Good morning." His voice was soft and kind to her.

"The others took the kids out to breakfast, I thought I'd wake you up as nicely as I could."

Heaven forbid he somehow gets to spend time with his children, after all. It somehow sickens me even more that itís not even evident that heís a father to his children, as much as it being that he has cut out the middleman of sperm donorship.


"So...pick...A or B?"

"A." He said calmly.

With Harleyís sense of humor, these are trick options, so the dildo is still going up his ass.

Harley's face brightened, "OK honey." Suddenly her grip on his cock tightened and she quickly dropped down to align her mouth with his cock. "Where is the precum?"

At least she has come to the understanding that all this sex business in these lemons is just to keep jiggling body parts for their secretions.

"Suffocating." He said in slight pain.

"Sorry. Excited." She released his cock and out poured precum.

At this point, I'm not only suspecting that the author has never had sex, Iím also pretty sure he has not been the owner of a penis before, since heís now close to describing itís act of self-lubrication like it was a condiment dispenser!!

She smiled and slowly ran her tongue around the head of her lover's cock. The flavor of the precum flooding her taste buds, making her moan loudly. She began to build a steady pace.

Step 1 complete, if human cock proceed onto Step 2a. For plant vines, see Step 2b.

Her pace was set and her motion was fluid. Each downward motion she sucked him in deeper, pulling her cheeks in to tighten the pressure around his cock. Her upward motion brings release of tension, but with it brings desire for it to return, the desire for more.

Jerking it slightly towards northwest, however, brought about a light melancholic tingle and a strange nostalgia for the 90ís.

And with each motion his voice grunts, slowly becoming stronger, louder forming longer tones, turning them into lustful moans.

For all I can tell, throughout this story, Batman has been played like a flesh fiddle by every insane murderess out there.

Bruce feels her steady pace continue, no increase of speed of power, but it still brings his legs to flutter and shake. His moaning deepened, his eyes widened, his body screamed for release as the pressure built slowly, allowing his body to grow stronger with it, along with his voice.

If itís the same kind of strength boost that let you break free and beat the Joker after killing your cloned son, we need to talk about your suppressed gore fetish, Bruce.

Steady her hand massages his sack randomly, sending curious signals through Bruce's body, pulsating the cock against her tongue. Her voice moaned every time she felt his cock press into her tongue, or throb from the ecstasy of her silky tongue.

By the way, does anyone else share my cringe at people double clicking things that only needs one click to function?

She shuddered as more precum was released onto her tongue, numbing her senses for a moment.

Since Iíve already half-way declared this author an alien, Iím not at all surprised that his genitals has the secondary function to release neurotoxins.

Slowly her steady pace begins to bring Bruce into a loud shuddering and gasping shout. His voice sounding and cracking as the pleasure rang through him. "Harley! Yes! Yes! More!" He shouted as the feeling took him and he grabbed her hair, forcing out the pigtails, making her moan as his cock begged her for release until finally her eyes flashed

Attached Image

Iím being serious here, this half-asses attempt at purple prose is making me question if we even share the same reality, author.

and suddenly her tongue danced around the cock's tip and peaked his pleasure to a new extreme making him shout in pure joy and delight. Harley gasped as she felt her mind go blank, her flesh sing and her senses disappear from her, the taste of the cream was the only thing her entire being desired, and she gently slid the rhythmically beating cock out of her mouth and she display to him her bounty she acquired from his generous donation unto her.

Mindlessness, singing flesh, and sexual acts described as if by a religious mechanical engineering manual. I think we are dealing with The Many from System Shock 2.

She closed her mouth and swallowed gratefully.

"Good morning my love."

"Yes...Yes...it is." He said, a smirk cutting across his mug, his cock still throbbing as she kissed the tip.

Should we be concerned over the fact that Selena has presumably been in the bathroom, hurling her guts out for fifteen minutes straight in heavy-handed pregnancy symptoms by now, or is every act prior to the author unzipping his fly irrelevant, instead of merely every prior chapter themselves?

I hope you enjoyed and the chapter, and I hope you would like to review and suggest somethings for these bonus chapters, as well as the other stories I'm writing.

I am probably going to regret this one thing Iím about to say, but donít misunderstand the point of it: Never stop. If you want to write and you feel thatís your calling, go ahead, because getting better takes hands-on experience. But for fuck sake, get some class, get some grammar classes, and get an appreciation for the classics. You do yourself no favor in proclaiming yourself proficient at producing a pile of aimless filth.

Next I would like to promote a few stories I read recently, Both are from the hit Anime Kill la Kill (One of my favorites)

That anime I hear about where clothes are evil mind-controlling aliens, leading to a lot of skimpy characters and weapons straight up presenting scissoring analogies? I thought I was done with my spitfire mocking, but youíve just provided me the fodder, you hack shill.

First is "Unavoidable" by hotahmai: s/10521487/1/Unavoidable

Quote: His gaze drops, following the curve of her jaw to her neck and collarbones; the gentle swell of breasts and flare of her hips and thighs. Some bruising is spotted, further testament to what exactly had transpired.

Dodgeball is all fun and games until you need this kind of stilted, pretentious elucidation.

Second is "Love and Other Lost Causes by Rayne Sky: s/10594615/1/Love-and-Other-Lost-Causes

Quote: "Are you ranting about that fucking Willy Wonka movie again? I get it, you thought it was garbage. Go to sleep, you twat" Ryuko sighed, causing Satsuki to snicker.

Well, okay, I can see where she might be coming from with that somewhat mediocre movie, if she canít move past the off-putting characterization from Johnny Depp, and - wait, she was talking about the original movie?! Bitch, I will fight you!!

Lastly I would like to thank you for your time and I will be back soon with more chapters for you to enjoy (Especially if you have a suggestion for a chapter ^_^)

Thanks and have a great day.

Hereís a fun suggestion. Deconstruct the insanity that is your sex-obsessed universe. Elaborate the moral code that left Batman ignore his kidnapped child in favor of silken pussy. Investigate the laws of nature that allows Batmobiles to respawn better than Superman does. Then, and only then, I might forgive you one day.

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Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 20th August 2017 - 10:37 PM