Whitebringer, Linkara's Objectivist Adventure Options

[Dr. O]

I got to reading Linkara's old webcomic Lightbringer and decided to try my hand at making some edits.















More to come, probably.

[Animus Origo]

Oh shit, the sky is ground.

[Yaoi Huntress Earth]

Great stuff, I hope to see more.

[Howlitzer]

I was not ready for the lolz.

[Viashino_wizard]

you can tell he's the villain because he reads the markey de sad i've never actually read the markey de sad but my college professor said he was a bad guy so his books are also bad

[Max-Vader]

After our seven-page introduction to Whitebringer, all the amazing artwork and shocking twists could leave you a bit overwhelmed. Don't worry though, we've got you covered! As the authors of this amazing tale, we will conveniently provide you with a short description of Whitebringer and some of his major foes. We hope you'll enjoy it!

Lewis Haug aka. Linkara aka. Whitebringer



Lewis was once an ordinary boy living an ordinary life with his ordinary parents. Then one day, a shocking event occurred that utterly crushed his compassion and happiness and changed his life forever.

He read Atlas Shrugged.

Oh yeah, and at some point his parents were murdered or something. Whatever. Anyway, filled with the kind of righteous indignation that only Social Justice Warriors, Hipsters and English Majors have, he set out to save the world with his light-powers (don't ask where he got them, he just does) and to make it better for all Aryans with purity, justice and the Objectivist Way! Armed with the Fedora of Destiny, the Armor of Authorial Fiat and the Light of Objective Truth™, he is sure to conquer all his inferior foes!
As a side-note, his costume originally looked somewhat different before he changed it.



It didn't go over very well.

Powers: The Light of Objective Truth, being the Gary Stu protagonist
Blood type: 0
Likes: Objectivism, feminism, fedoras, comics, racial purity, the color white, Mein Kampf, waffles
Dislikes: Communism, lower races, skincolor, the Marquis DeSade, homosexuals (unless they're hot lesbians), AdBlock, french fries
Motto: "The only right way is the white way!"

Broseph Stalin



The self-appointed King of Brahssia and ruler of the Brocean. He aquired his fighting technique from the Temple of Marx after meditating over the Communist Manifesto and watching Hero and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon about a billion times, thereby transforming his hands into deadly weapons (and excellent Vodka-brewing tools). He and Lewis actually were neighbours growing up together and he acted as an older brother for him. Being a self-proclaimed superhero (of the people) himself, he supported Lewis and let him borrow the Power Rangers costume of his little brother for his first superhero-escapades. Sadly, their relationship soured when Lewis started reading Atlas Shrugged. Nowadays Whitebringer denies ever being friends with him and tries to destroy all evidence of it, but Broseph did manage to save this one snapshot of happier times:



Powers: Complete control over his body, the Five Vodka Bottles Exploding Liver Technique
Blood type: AB
Likes: Vodka, Communism, Karl Marx, hanging out with friends, throwing parties, Vodka, having a nice mustache and Vodka
Dislikes: Party poopers, bores, objectivists, Nazis, Hipster Hitler, Whitebringer, being sober
Motto: "Communism: It's a party!"

Sean Fondler



The corrupt head of the local church, Sean has grown fat on all the food he buys with the donation-money that he recieves from the unsuspecting believers donating to his supposed "charity causes" every week. He has a fondness for little boys ("like all priests", according to Whitebringer), but fortunately for the local youth there doesn't seem to be any danger of him getting out of his chair any time soon. Since no cloth would fit him anymore, he has simply replaced his gaments with a VERY priestly bib and holds his sermons via his webcam and a monitor he set up on the altar. Despite the fact that he is an obvious scumbag and scam-artist, people still flock to his sermons about peace, love and the unity of man and actually believe he is sincere. Therefore, he ironically does far more for the local community than he thinks he does.

Powers: seemingly sincere/charismatic (?!), can easily crush people, knows what an aircraft carrier tastes like
Blood type: A
Likes: Wine, bread, any and all types of food, money, preaching, little boys
Dislikes: Tax collectors, not eating, trying to stand up, Whitebringer
Motto: "God made us the boss.
God gave us the cross.
We turned it into a sword
To spread the Word of the Lord."

Jolly Joe aka. The Wetback



The origins of the enigmatic figure known as the Wetback are shrouded in mystery. What is clear is that at some point, he crossed the mexican border and later established the organisation he runs today - a rock candy smuggling ring. He and his subordinates bring the joys of the mexican product "Walter's Blue Delight" to the good people of the USA. Originally it was supposed to be imported legally, but Whitebringer was coincidentally in the area and declared that Joe's half-eaten taco on one of the packages showed that his product was neither clean nor safe and somehow managed to convince the government inspector of this, who promptly shut down all requests to import the candy forever. Therefore, Joe is now using a route outside of the law to bring joy to the people and craves revenge against Whitebringer ever since.

Powers: The Blessings of Santa Muerte, more guns that you can shake a stick at, having subordinates with more guns, having connections to the cartels, being mexican
Blood type: B
Likes: Walter's Blue Delight, guns, tacos, Santa Muerte, the USA, Mexico, candy in general, nice people who like candy
Dislikes: The FDA, cops, dental caries, people who don't like candy, pedophiles, Whitebringer, Whitebringer and Whitebringer
Motto: "I am the one who knocks!"

Noah Alberstein, aka. TheJewnyOne (aka. Nightbringer)



The archenemy of Whitebringer. He stands for almost everything Whitebringer despises: Jews, charity, compassion, tolerance, Jews, the color black and Jews. After witnessing how much Whitebringer despised him and his people, Noah decided that this would not stand, donned his Final Fantasy IX Kippah and styled himself after everything Whitebringer believes (and despises) about Jews. After mastering the power of Jewish Alchemy, he was re-born as TheJewnyOne, ready to transform himself into the nightmare of all jew-haters everywhere with a quick incantation of "Chutzpah!". Here, we have a picture of him in his civilian identity as Noah Alberstein:



Powers: Jewish Alchemy, The Jewish Ring of Darkness (actually a toy from a gum machine meant to intimidate Whitebringer) and the Numbers of Hell (painted on)
Blood type: 0
Likes: The Torah, dreidels, Final Fantasy IX, video games, kosher food, Touhou, sexy librarians, tentacle/transgender hentai
Dislikes: Anti-semites, non-kosher food, Michael Bay, WHITEBRINGER
Motto: "If charity cost nothing, the world would be full of philanthropists."

This post has been edited by Max-Vader: May 20 2013, 07:13 AM

[GFW]

Oh lord this is gonna be awesome.

[Bonglorio]

amazing

[Dr. O]

This post has been edited by Dr. O: May 4 2013, 09:59 AM

[Yaoi Huntress Earth]

It would be amusing if one of the villains was to try to counter the Objectivist superhero idea. He's living for others' sake, risking his life to save people he doesn't know (who could be "parasites) and is not getting paid for it.

[Max-Vader]

Yesterday, Dr. O discovered something amazing. He found a picture of Spoony that was tailor-made for an exploitable. The result is the picture you see in my previous post where he put Touhou-dickgirls on the box. And since he's so nice, he created a template for your own humorous shoops.



Here are the ones I made.











This post has been edited by Max-Vader: May 4 2013, 03:42 PM

[Dr. O]

It would be amusing if one of the villains was to try to counter the Objectivist superhero idea. He's living for others' sake, risking his life to save people he doesn't know (who could be "parasites) and is not getting paid for it.

Good idea. I'll have to remember that for the Spoony arc.

[Max-Vader]

Here are five more.

[DraculaMarth]

Too lewd, I don't approve

its fucking beautiful

This post has been edited by DraculaMarth: May 4 2013, 03:44 PM

[Max-Vader]

Enjoy some more, then.

[CuChulainn1290]

This is gonna get intoxicating fast...

[Nihilistic One]

Oh man. Look out, Negatokyo! You might just stop being the funniest parody webcomic that's been posted on PA.

[Max-Vader]

The newest batch. Oh, in case you're wondering: Most of those pictures are just me fucking around, but all the ones with Touhou-stuff on them are in fact canon.

[truthordeal]

I'm not really a photoshop expert, but decided to try a different tact on this:

[Tron_2.0]

Best thread ever