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> Digiball Z: A New Era Of Power!, Dakari-King Mykan (Again, again, again)
Post #41
Mysty


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post Mar 8 2008, 03:40 PM
You know something I've noticed? With a lot of badfics I've read, no matter how badly written they are, I often find myself curious as to what will happen next. But not with a Mykan fic. If I had found these fics before you and everyone else had mocked them, I think I might've committed multiple homocide.


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Post #42
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post Mar 8 2008, 03:47 PM
I think My Immortal has more suspense than this clunker...


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QUOTE (theabhorrentatrocity @ Aug 15 2015, 02:25 PM) *
daddy longleg spiders are scary as they're one of the most poisonous spiders so not much of an over reaction.


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Post #43
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post Mar 8 2008, 03:48 PM
Yeah, I love how, in chapter two, Davis wakes up and shoots himself into the roof, then is like "Whoa, how'd I do that?". I'd think that a guy who had suddenly gained extreme muscle mass in his sleep would notice such a thing.


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Post #44
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post Mar 8 2008, 03:51 PM
You'd think, but he has to go to the freakin' mirror to notice that his muscles grew to enormous sizes, and no one else seems to notice 'till he beats up poor Yami.


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4. Teen Titans vs Project AFTER - 2 3 (f)
5. Desires Unspoken - Deluxe Special Edition (f)
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Post #45
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post Mar 8 2008, 03:54 PM
It's like mirrors are the catch-all plot device for badfics. They let a character notice a change in themself that they by all means should've noticed without it, and if the author can't think of a better way to wedge-in a character description, they just trod them up to a mirror and examine every part of their body as if they were seeing it all for the first time.

I mean, who actually does that in real life? Walk up to a mirror and go "Well, I have brown hair that's about to my shoulders, brown eyes, I'm wearing a t-shirt with (ad nauseum)"


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Post #46
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post Mar 8 2008, 04:58 PM
I don't know wheither to laugh WITH, or AT this.

DKM is going way to serrious with this. All he's doing is giving Davis all the power, Davis all the answers, Davis all this, and Davis all that.

As much as he did try to portray the DBZ style, I still give it a failing mark.


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Post #47
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post Mar 8 2008, 09:19 PM
I wouldn't know how well he portrays the style of DragonBall Z. The longest clip of DBZ I've ever seen is the Over 9000 video. I still learned plenty about it from my cousin, who is and has been a DBZ fanatic since 5th grade. I remember him and I arguing over whether Mewtwo or Goku would win in a fight during recess. Good times, good times.

This post has been edited by T_K_17: Jun 25 2008, 04:55 PM


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2. Saiyaman (f)
3. Saiyaman 2 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12
4. Teen Titans vs Project AFTER - 2 3 (f)
5. Desires Unspoken - Deluxe Special Edition (f)
6. TK versus Birdboy | Fandom | Empire - Part 1
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post Mar 9 2008, 08:49 AM
The answer to that is simple anyway: Goku. I mean, Super Saiyan 3. Great as Mewtwo is, he's out of his league in--why am I talking about this?

*waits for next mock*


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QUOTE (theabhorrentatrocity @ Aug 15 2015, 02:25 PM) *
daddy longleg spiders are scary as they're one of the most poisonous spiders so not much of an over reaction.


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Post #49
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post Mar 9 2008, 08:59 AM
It's coming along well. I may be able to have up by noon in my time zone (PST If you want to know).


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1. Digiball Z - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 (f)
2. Saiyaman (f)
3. Saiyaman 2 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12
4. Teen Titans vs Project AFTER - 2 3 (f)
5. Desires Unspoken - Deluxe Special Edition (f)
6. TK versus Birdboy | Fandom | Empire - Part 1
7. Garden of EVA - Sucks Everybody! (f)
8. What is War? - 1 2
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post Mar 9 2008, 10:13 AM
I said I would have this done by 12, but look! It's 11, Pacific Standard Time, anyway. On with the mock!

---

CHAPTER FOUR

Meanwhile, in the real World, it was 12:00 pm,

Do you know where your children are?

time for Kari's party to begin.

Everyone one of her friends had come to the party,

"Everyone one". I just gotta point that out.

and even brought there Digimon. Yes everyone was there… Except Davis and Veemon.

“Didn't you give him an invitation Kari?” asked Tai, Kari nodded her head. “I slipped it in his locker myself” she cried.

She must be chopping onions.

“Ken?” asked TK, “You're best friends with Davis, why isn't he here? Don't tell me he didn't see the invitation.”

Yeah, Ken. Since you're his friend, you must be able to read his mind.

Ken shook his head, “No, you see…” Ken took a deep breath to figure out how to tell them,

It usually helps to use a combination of obstruents, sonorants, and vowels.

but he decided to be blunt. “…Davis doesn't want the invitation”.

“WHAT!” everyone shouted? “Why would Davis refuse the invitation?” asked Patamon.

Because emos don't go to parties.

“I'll bet he didn't like it because it was pink and not blue.” Mocked Gatomon.

Whenever Mykan uses the verb "mock", you can be sure someone is making an awful joke.

Everyone didn't think that was true. Davis did like the color blue, because it was the color of his Digivice, but he would never dislike something as simple as that.

Yes, thanks for refuting Gatomon's lame joke.

“That isn't what I meant Gatomon!” cried Ken.

He was chopping onions, too.

“Davis didn't want the invitation because he didn't want to come to this party at all”.

“WHAT!” cried Kari, “But this is my' birthday Ken, Davis always came to my parties. I remember them so well.”

Kari: "This one time, back in '98, he got so plastered that...wait, no, that was Tai. Never mind."

“But how many times since you TK became a couple did he decide to come?” asked Yolei.

Do they really need to be such assholes about this? Just tell them Davis likes Kari and is a jealous prick.

TK narrowed his eyes, “Are you meaning to tell me that this is all because he's jealous of my relationship with Kari?”

Come to think of it, I pretty sure that Davis and T.K.'s interest in Kari was obvious on the show. There was one episode where they fought over who was going to rescue Kari when she got stuck in in the Digital World; and T.K. even suggested in the pilot that Davis was jealous of him.

“YES…ABOUT TIME YOU NOTICED!” yelled Ken Cody and Yolei at the same time.

“Well I'm going to do something about this.” Growled TK, “I'm going to find him, and make him apologize.”

It's too late to apologize
It's too laaaaaaaate
I said it's too late to apologize
It's too laaaaaaaate


“How do intend to that brain box?” Asked Matt,

Very mature, Matt-who-should-be-a-grown-adult-at-this-point.

“Easy, I know he's in the digital world, I saw a flash of light come from his apartment window this morning, but why he went there I have no idea.”

So you knew he was in the Digital World, but you decided not to mention that when everyone was asking where he was?

“TK?” cried Kari, “Don't do this. What if he still decides not to come anyway?”

TK turned and flexed his fist, “Then I'll teach him some decent respect towards you.”

T.K. "I'll learn him some grammar I will."

TK grabbed his Digivice and, went with Patamon through the computer's Digi-port. Everyone else didn't like what TK was planning to do.

Voicing their concern, however, was out of the question.

So quick like lightning, they all grabbed their Digivices, Digimon, and headed through the portal.

I can just imagine them: holding their Digivices in one hand, and their Digimon in the other

Davis and Ex-Veemon had been Training for a few digital weeks now. Equaling about 30 minutes in the other World.

Look, Morbo already explained this, but I'll explain it in more detail: At the end of season 1 Gennai said that Apocalymon's appearance synchronized time between the two worlds. You can't just say that there is some place in the Digital World where time moves faster, because it's not PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE!

Ex-Veemon never felt so energetic before. He just didn't want to stop training. Davis was well pleased at the way his session was going.

Davis: "Yes, yes. Everything is going according to plan. *rubs hands together* Mmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmmmmmmmmmmmm."

It was only his first times of training, but he had already mastered his powers as if he had been fighting like this for years.

No one in reality could become a master fighter in a few weeks, but Davis is one...of a kind!

His speed was so intense, that you barely see him now when he ran at full speed.

His strength had increased so much, that he smashed an even larger boulder than the previous one with his finger.



And he never thought it would be possible, but he even found and mastered how to focus Ki-energy, now it was time to test it.

“Okay Ex-Veemon, ready?” he called, “Do your worst.” Replied Ex-Veemon with confidence.

“Okay…here goes”. Davis stood there, his muscles were so big, he had nearly ripped right through his shirt, and he stood there and positioned his hands in front.

“KA… ME… HA …ME…HAAAAAAAAAA!”

Does anyone else know that Kamehameha is the name of a Hawaiian king?

Davis fired a burst of energy from his hands, sending it straight towards Ex-Veemon.

“V-LASER” Shouted Ex-Veemon, firing his own energy attack.

I've always wondered why it's called "v-laser' when it is shaped like an X.

The two forces collided into each other, and in a thunderous blast, they exploded under pressure.

Just as TK came flying on Magna-Angemon's back, into the scene, the ninjas attacked.

I just had to make that a full sentence.

He was horrified at what he just saw.

He saw the trailer for the Dragonball movie.

When the smoke cleared, Davis and Ex-Veemon were still standing and un-harmed too.

“Davis, that was incredible.” Shouted Ex-Veemon with delight. Davis grinned, “Good thing I've been watching Dragon Ball Z”. He chuckled.

“DAVIS MOTOMIYA!” TK's voice came rushing down from the air on Magna-Angemon.

IT'S TIME FOR BED, YOUNG MAN!

TK came rushing forward with furry in his eyes,

T.K.: "Ow! There's hair in my eyes!"

when he stopped at the sight of Davis' Muscles.

“All right Motomiya, Fess up NOW!” he said anyway. “Why didn't you except Kari's invitation?”

Davis had his own furry exposed now.

Hey! Put that thing away!

“Isn't it obvious TA?” he yelled “No it isn't obvious, and for PETE SAKE…It's TK!”

“Whatever TJ”.

Oh Davis, you so clever!

This made TK get even angrier. “Look; Yolei, Ken, and Cody said you didn't want to come, because you're jealous that Kari chose me over you… I knew they had to be bluffing.”

To bluff is "To cause to accept what is false, especially by trickery or misrepresentation". So they were trying to trick him? Into what, may I ask?

“They weren't bluffing TK.” snarled Ex-Veemon. “How would you know this?” asked Magna-Angemon.

Now Ex-Veemon was getting mad! “You Hush up Magna-Angemon, you're no better than TK!”

Wait. Wasn't he already mad when it said that he "snarled'? Consistency is for losers!

Magna-Angemon looked confused. “What reason do you have to be angry with me Ex-Veemon?” he asked.

Well, at least someone is being civil about all this.

Ex-Veemon looked up and saw her, Angewomon, evolved from Gatomon,

Thanks for the insight.

as well as the rest off the gang approaching.

Ex-Veemon did get a little soft when Angewomon flew near, but he resumed his anger when she landed beside Magna-Angewomon.

“Are you all right” she asked her Digimon boyfriend.

Is it weird to be uncomfortable about the phrase "Digimon boyfriend"? Try saying it out loud. Go on, say it. That sense of discomfort you experienced is what I'm talking about.

“I am alright dearest, but I am sensing a sheer bust of power from Ex-Veemon, as well as Davis”.

“There's your answer” snarled Ex-Veemon. “What is…? Angewomon? Oh no, please do not tell me?”

“You're boiling hot Angel-wings. I loved Angewomon with all my heart”.

What the Hell did he just say?!

Angewomon's helmet nearly jumped at what she heard. “You actually loved me Ex-Veemon, Really?” she asked.

“That's right, but since you've been more interested with this Excuse for an Angel, you both turned my world upside down too!”

Angewomon: "Well then get over it you sick freak!"

I'm waiting for someone to say that, this fic would be a lot better.


Kari came running over to TK, making Davis even more cross than he already was.

“TK, are you all…” Kari stopped when she noticed who TK was confronting.

“Davis?” she asked, her eyes were lost in look of his muscles.

They were where in the what now?

“What's going on?”

“Well Kari”, said TK, “I just caught Davis here purposely attacking his own Digimon”.

GASP!

Everyone including both the Angemon-twins, gasped in horror.

Of course.

“Is this true Davis?” snarled Tai, “Were you attacking Ex-Veemon intentionally?”

Davis turned to face him, “Well…Yes and No.” he replied. “What is that supposed to mean?”

Davis appears to not even understand his own stupid answer.

“Davis you might as well tell them everything” said Ex-Veemon. Davis sighed.

“I was hoping you guys wouldn't find out but… I have absorbed powers like a Saiyan”.

Everyone looked confused, “Davis, are you nuts” said TK, “There's no such people as Saiyans!”



“Really?... Well, then I guess that makes me the first”. Protested Davis.

Davis then pulled out a picket sign with the words "No War For Oil!" written on it and began to parade around.

“I hate to say it TK, but Davis maybe telling the truth” said Magna-Angemon.

A sad day for all.

“Lately I have sensing a great deal of energy from his body that I've never seen before”.

“Okay, then prove it Davis”. Said TK pointing another large boulder across the sand.

“If you're really as strong as you say you are, then pick up that boulder, and smash it with your bare-hands!”

Did Davis give T.K. his personality before turning emo?

“TK that's a little mean don't you think?” asked Kari, “Davis is only pretending, he doesn't really have Sayian powers”.

Yeah! He's only pretending to have super huge muscles, flying powers, and the ability to shoot energy beams from his hands.

“Wrong again Kari!”, said Davis, who was holing the stone over his head with only one hand.

He was "holing" it?

Everyone sweat dropped.

Note to all anime fanfic "authors": Please STOP using manga symbols like sweat drops, throbbing veins, nose bleeds, and snot bubbles. They make (some) sense in manga and anime, but they have no place in literature. Bonus Note: Please consider the option of not writing fanfiction in the first place. That is all.

“And TK, all I need to break this is a finger”. Said Davis, and sure enough he did it.

Just imagine if The Lord of the Rings went like this: "Frodo, you must destroy the ring!" said Gandalf, and sure enough he did it.

TK was quivering in fear. “This will explain how he beat Yami yesterday.” He cried, but I can't believe this at all!”

The narrator can't believe T.K. is chopping onions at a time like this.

“I am very impressed” said Magna-Angemon.

“Hey big guy” said Ex-Veemon. “Nothing personal, but how would you like to help me demonstrate my new abilities by facing off with me?”

Ex-Veemon: "I just want to kick the crap out of you and take your girlfriend, nothing personal!"

“You wish to challenge me to a fight?” asked Magna-Angemon. “Yeah I've been waiting to test this out, and who better to try it on.”

“Yeah Magna-Angemon, teach him a lesson.” Snarled TK. “TK stop it” growled Kari.

Kari has become a feral beast.

Angewomon, just flew over to Kari.

This fanfiction, is really lame.

“TK… Ex-Veemon has challenged my boyfriend fair in square, and I'd like to see what he can do anyway.”

Everyone was beginning to take interest in this little event.

Lucky them.

That is until Stingmon and Ken were getting ready to DNA Digivole with Ex-Veemon.

Then they got bored again

“No, hold it you two” said Davis hovering in front of them. “Whoa, Davis you can fly too?” asked Ken.

................
.................
................
OF COURSE HE COULD FLY! YOU SAW HIM DO IT!


“Never mind that”. Replied Davis, “This fight is for Ex-Veemon to handle on his own, with no help”.

Poor Stingmon



“But Davis” cried Stingmon, “Magna-Angemon is an Ultimate Digimon. Ex-Veemon won't stand a chance”.

Wait. I thought that the Digidestined gave up their crests for some stupid reason, so they couldn't Digivolve to Ultimate or Mega without some special stone being nearby. This fic hurts my brain.

“I think you're in for a big surprise Stingmon.” said Davis, “But the rule still stands. No helping”

Rule?

“What rule is that Davis?” asked Cody.

That's what I want to know.

He floated down to the ground, “You'll see what in a moment”.

Right before everyone's eyes, Davis began digging in the sand around the two Digimon, with his hands alone.

In no more than two minutes had he constructed a ring about 20ft Square.

Then it's not really a ring, now, is it.

“All right, listen up!” he said.

“This will be an exact replica of the DragonBall martial arts tournaments.”

What?!

“As such the rules are as follows. There are four ways you can lose the match

-Surrender…

"..." indeed.

-Land outside of the ring

(Excluding flying in midair, you must land on the ground) …

-Lose conciseness

There's a rule that's been broken far too many times here.

(Including in midair)…

-And in your case, De-digivole out of weariness.

There are a few regulation rules as well.

Who the hell said they need to follow some dumbass rules and regulations?

-Destroying your opponent is forbidden

If you do, you'll automatically be disqualified.

Right...

-Digivolving to a higher level is not allowed.

That would make things too cool.

-Normal Digimon attacks are permitted, However, hand-held weapons are not to be used… Unless they are a natural part of the body.”

There isn't really anything natural about Digimon in the first place. Seeing as how they live on our computers.

With those words, Davis walked over to Magna-Angemon, and held out his hand. “I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I must ask that you hand in your sword.”

“No Magna-Angemon, don't do it!” cried TK. Magna-Angemon looked at his partner and frowned.

“I am sorry TK” he said deeply, “But if I'm to fight as a true warrior in combat, I must oblige by the rules”.

Davis's rules, mind you.

He pulled his sword off his wrist, and handed it to Davis. “Thank you.” he stated.

Davis is a courteous dick.

He then flew outside of the ring, and levitated himself in the air. “Now then you two take your battle positions.”

Take 'em and run!

Ex-Veemon and Magna-Angemon stood in front of each other, gave the traditional bow to greet their opponent…

“BEGIN” said Davis waving his hand.

This was it…

Really? You mean that's it? You mean this awful excuse for a written work is over? Yes! Finally I- Oh wait. It's not over. There's 12 more chapters left. Damn it.

---

So to recap: T.K. and Davis argue over pointless nothing while everyone else pretty much stands around. Maybe they're playing Scrabble instead, which would have been far more exiting.

This post has been edited by T_K_17: Apr 8 2011, 05:35 PM


--------------------
Mocks:
1. Digiball Z - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 (f)
2. Saiyaman (f)
3. Saiyaman 2 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12
4. Teen Titans vs Project AFTER - 2 3 (f)
5. Desires Unspoken - Deluxe Special Edition (f)
6. TK versus Birdboy | Fandom | Empire - Part 1
7. Garden of EVA - Sucks Everybody! (f)
8. What is War? - 1 2
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Post #51
Serra


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post Mar 9 2008, 10:44 AM
Someone needs to tell Mykan that TK and Davis don't hate each other. It's been years since I watched the show, but they got along as far as I can recall.


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Post #52
Mysty


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post Mar 9 2008, 10:52 AM
Digimon TK is by nature a rather nice person, actually. TK usually went along with Davis, even in the guy's more, uh, interesting mistakes.

So yeah, DKM is using his "I'm not trying to go for that aspect of their personality" excuse he uses in his profile again.

And I've seen a lot of DBZ, and it's kinda hard to say that our beloved fanfic author caught the true spirit of the show. Basically this fic has been nothing but Davis running around, being oblivious, violent and emo.

Edit: Oh! The Crests, yes, the Crests. If I remember correctly, the original eight Digidestined gave them up a few years before the second season took place because of some big bad that could only be sealed by that power. Near the end of 02, though, I believe Genai gave them back the power so the older DDs that didn't have the option of armor digivolving could help in the final battle.

This post has been edited by Mysty: Mar 9 2008, 11:05 AM


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Post #53
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post Mar 9 2008, 11:05 AM
So, by 'that apsect of their personality' he means 'I never write anyone in character at all because that is not their real personality'.

Yeah, DKM, how a character is in canon is not their real personality at all.


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Post #54
Mysty


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post Mar 9 2008, 11:09 AM
It reminds me of this Kingdom Hearts fic, called Anna in Kingdomland. It was sporked over at Kingdom Spork before the trolls got there and everyone abandoned ship.

Anyway, the author basically inserted herself into Kingdom Hearts after the second game, and she had Sora be a complete and total brat. The author acknowledge this, though, and her excuse?

"Well, I figured that this story is supposed to be real life, and I thought that Sora and the others wouldn't have the same personality if it were real life instead of a video game."

I don't know about you, but I vaguely remember Mykan saying something to that effect.


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Post #55
T_K_17


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post Mar 9 2008, 11:26 AM
They sorta fought early on in the series, but they got over it from what I can remember, why can't His Majesty be like them?
As for the crest thing: Yeah, Gennai did give them some power near the end, but it was only temporary.
On an unrelated note: Posting on a PSP is hard!


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Mocks:
1. Digiball Z - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 (f)
2. Saiyaman (f)
3. Saiyaman 2 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12
4. Teen Titans vs Project AFTER - 2 3 (f)
5. Desires Unspoken - Deluxe Special Edition (f)
6. TK versus Birdboy | Fandom | Empire - Part 1
7. Garden of EVA - Sucks Everybody! (f)
8. What is War? - 1 2
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Post #56
Mysty


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post Mar 9 2008, 11:29 AM
Hmm, I wouldn't know how hard it is, considering I don't own a PSP. I have a DS, but I don't have that card you can use to install an internet browser, so the only visits to this forum I've done have been on actual computers.

It kind of makes sense that DKM forgets about any character development that happened in the series. Take the argument he and Al had into consideration: Al argued that the way DKM wrote Beast Boy/Terra fics was illogical, because Terra was frozen in stone and later made to fade into the background because it helped with BB's development, mainly about how things change whether you like it or not. DKM didn't seem to understand this, though.


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Post #57
Serra


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post Mar 9 2008, 11:31 AM
DKM doesn't understand a lot of things. 'Tis a fact of life.


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Mysty


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post Mar 9 2008, 11:34 AM
Yes, it sadly is. But the fact that DKM can't seem to understand the concept of character development just further proves that he has no place in any kind of writing. I mean, if he's going to ignore character development that happened in an established show, that doesn't bode well for when (not if) he decides that he needs to write original stuff.

And on that day, Mysty will cry. She will cry many emo tears.

This post has been edited by Mysty: Mar 9 2008, 11:35 AM


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Al_Cone


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post Mar 9 2008, 02:48 PM
I'm going to see if I can't predict what's going to happen right here and now.

-Ex-Veemon will kick Magna-Angemon's ass.

-Davis will kick TK's ass.

-Kari and Gatomon will fall madly in love with Davis and Veemon.

Which fits neatly in with Mykan's perception of women as shallow, fickle harlots.


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QUOTE (theabhorrentatrocity @ Aug 15 2015, 02:25 PM) *
daddy longleg spiders are scary as they're one of the most poisonous spiders so not much of an over reaction.


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Mysty


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post Mar 9 2008, 02:51 PM
*cries emo tears* It should be illegal for Mykan to be this stupid. I'd say send him to sensitivity training, but I wouldn't wish him on even the peppy-happy women that run that kind of thing.

I just thought of something. DKM says he is "inspired by broken hearts", and writes a bunch of his crap to "fix" relationships that he thinks suffered in canon, so what do fics like that Totally Spies/Yu-Gi-Oh! crossover have to do with anything?

This post has been edited by Mysty: Mar 9 2008, 02:55 PM


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