My Little Unicorn: Magic is Believing, Waffleman Does Mykan Options

[Al_Cone]

Really? Somber does act incredibly passive-agressive and has a tendency to sperge a lot when his story is criticized by people who know what they're talking about, but I didn't think it was to resolve personal issues. Welp, guess I've gots me some stalkin' to do...

Have you ever, ever, ever read anything that he's ever said about anything?!

No no, better yet--have you ever read a single chapter of Project Horizons?! Blackjack's tribulations and angst-ridden narration can only be driven by some sort of deep-seated personal issues on the part of her author.

This post has been edited by Al_Cone: Jun 6 2012, 02:21 PM

[Dystopian God]

Have you ever, ever, ever read anything that he's ever said about anything?!

No no, better yet--have you ever read a single chapter of Project Horizons?! Blackjack's tribulations and angst-ridden narration can only be driven by some sort of deep-seated personal issues on the part of her author.

so blackjack is secretly mykan? who knew.

anyway, i think it's time to rail this thread back to being about the mock. dont you agree?

[Nihilistic One]

Have you ever, ever, ever read anything that he's ever said about anything?!

No no, better yet--have you ever read a single chapter of Project Horizons?! Blackjack's tribulations and angst-ridden narration can only be driven by some sort of deep-seated personal issues on the part of her author.

I'm reasonably sure Somber has never been rapecified.

So, anyway, the topic. Not much to say here. It's an awesome mock and Mykan is an idiot. That's all there is to say, really.

[Waffleman]

EPISODE 16
Fight in the Dimension of Darkness PT 1

Lightning had hardly gotten too much sleep lately, as he couldn't seem to expel the thoughts of Serpent-Tyrant from his mind, and even if he did manage to get a little sleep, he would then have a recurring nightmare from his past… the time when his parents were killed by that monster!

Then he'd wake up with a terrified gasp.

And soaked sheets.

Krysta was getting worried about Lightning and decided he go see Penny for a physical. So he did…

…

Penny gave Lightning a thorough physical, and even asked him some psychological, and somewhat confusing and pointless questions, by the end of the exam all Penny could suggest was not think about it and try to take his mind off it. "Here… this will help." Penny said as she readied a shot for him.

Psychology is fucking pointless, am I right guys? Also, the answer to all mental issues is just not to think about it, ya big baby.

"Say…! What are you doing?" Lightning asked nervously when he saw the needle. Penny explained that medicine she was giving would help relax him so he wouldn't have the nightmare for a bit and remain calm. "It might make you sleepy though when you least expect it, but it's for your own good."

So it's pure concentrated Zoloft.

"Okay… you're the doctor." Lightning said. Then he felt the needle prick him, "Ouch…!"

"There! All done…" Penny said.

"Thanks for nothing." Lightning remarked. Krysta couldn't help but giggle.

I'm bolding when somebody can't help but do something. I'm not doing a count like I said because it doesn't happen as much as I thought it did, but still.

…

Titan's minions had been training for a while, and now they were still in their knight forms, and had been that way for a while without feeling too weak. "Ha, ha, ha… I've never felt so strong before since ever." chuckled Rep-Stallion as he smashed a rock to pieces with one swing of his double-bladed scythe.

Blades are not for smashing, they are for cutting. And cutting a rock clean in two is honestly more impressive, so yeah.

They had also learned new projectile attacks, and Dementia was having a fun with those. "Nya, ha, ha… Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who's the pretties and strongest of all?" she kept on saying.

"Not you."

"Are we ready now?" Mysterious asked. The others nodded in agreement. "Those unicorns have made fools of us one too many times." growled Dementia.

They've made fools of you 16 too many times.

Rep-Stallion ran his fingers across his scythe blades, "But what goes around… is about to about to come around."

PROOFREADING.

…

Lightning still went to work, eventually stopping off at the library to help Inquerius sort and stack extra piles of books for her. "Feel any better yet?" Krysta asked.

"Well… I do feel less agitated." Lightning answered "I don't even feel tired."

"Why would you feel tired?" Inquerius asked. Lightning would've said don't ask, but then again that was like telling Inquerius not to talk as she only asked questions. "I'll be fine. It's no big deal."

Yes, tell me more about this character trait you stole from Power Rangers Turbo, please~

After all the books were sorted, Lightning and Krysta prepared to leave, when he ran into Starla, who was carrying large pile of more books and couldn't see where she was going. "Oh… Lightning…" she said.

Lightning began to feel a little shy. "Hi… Hi… Starla. Sorry about that."

"No I'm sorry."

"No, no, no… it was my fault."

They kept exchanging apologies back and forth, until they realized they were gazing into each other's eyes. They both turned away giggling and blushing softly. Krysta just rolled her eyes at how typical they were acting.

You and me both, sister.

As Lighting helped Starla gather her books and take them back to her room in the tower, he playfully asked. "Don't I owe you a milkshake?"

Starla's ears perked up, and she blushed. "I… I don't know…" she said "Do you… want… do you want to…?"

"See you after work?" Lightning teased.

"Sure…I'd love to." Starla peeped softly.

They were gazing at each other like standing in a flowery warm meadow. Krysta liked seeing this.

But you were JUST rolling your eyes at this lovey-dovey shit!

…

As soon as she and Lightning left, Krysta couldn't help but say "Lightning… don't you think you and Starla should do more than just these simple dates?"

Lightning was confused. "What do you mean?"

She's telling you to stick it in.

Krysta explained that he and Starla had such great times together, and were obviously getting warmer with each other. "Why don't you just ask her to be your mare-friend?"

Please don't say mare-friend.

Lightning's face turned red and he almost felt stressed out, but the medicine helped him not panic. "Uh… I… oh… gee…!" However, he decided not to deny it. He had been thinking about it for a while, but kept on deciding against it. Not just because he was nervous and things like that, but also because of the dangers…!

Always having to fend off against evil forces and risking themselves in so many ways. Especially since Lightning was the primary target of Titan's minions and who knew what or who else would be after him. This meant that Starla would be in danger too. "I can't do that to her. It isn't fair. She doesn't deserve it."

Far be it for a member of a warrior race to have to fight! Remember, warrior race.

Krysta felt touched by how much Lightning showed his concern, but she implied that he was overreacting. "You both have had your shares of adventures, and hardships, and Starla understands."

Lightning realized maybe that was true. "I just don't think I'm ready to ask her yet."

Krysta understood and promised she wouldn't try to force him.

It's really late in the fic to be bringing this up, but the way Mykan has the narration say what his characters are saying is really fucking annoying.

Suddenly, the sounds of wicked evil laugher echoed from above as the skies went dark. "Oh no…! What now…?" grumbled Lightning as he and Krysta looked way up. There, in the skies above the kingdom, were images of Titan's minions, all in their knight forms.

"Attention, Lightning Dawn…!" Mysterious hissed "We know that you can hear us. So listen carefully."

The minions had challenged Lightning to a duel, and he was free to gather as many of his friends as he wanted. It made no difference to them. "Meet us at the top of Blacktop Mountain after sundown tonight!" said Rep-Stallion. "We've prepared an extra special battlefield just for this occasion."

But a duel is one-on-one. This is at the very least going to be one-on-three. That's not how these things work.

Dementia stepped forward "…And believe us… when we say that refusal to accept our challenge is unacceptable." She waved her hand and the images faded into images of the whole kingdom in grave peril. Fires, storms, freeze-ups…!

Freeze....what?

Lightning and Krysta couldn't blink.

The images faded back to the minions who promised that if Lightning didn't show up and accept the duel they would do just as they had seen to the kingdom, this time… for real! "Sundown, Lightning Dawn…!" snapped Mysterious "What shall it be? Think it over… but not too long."

The images faded, and the skies cleared up. So many had already fallen into panic and were preparing for an obvious lockdown at sunset. "Krysta…?"

"Yeah…?"

"Let's get the others. I'm accepting this challenge!"

…

Lightning and Krysta held the meeting at Lightning's house and gathered as many of their friends as they knew could help in battle…

Buddy Rose, Artie, Rhymey, Dyno and Myte, and Starla too. They all had seen and heard the threat from the minions, and were willing to accept the challenge with Lightning.

"It's a chance that we must not miss,
They'll destroy our kingdom, and that's their promise." said Rhymey.

YOU.

"Si…! I agree. We can't let that happen." said Dyno. His brother nodded in agreement.

Krysta just returned with a message from The Grand Ruler and how he wouldn't let any harm befall the kingdom, and promised to keep a closer eye at night for any trouble.

Why not actually help them? We all know he could! Speaking of the Grand Ruler, there's only a couple more chapters left before the greatest thing in this story.

Still, some of them were very concerned about the battle and felt the minions were leading them straight into a trap. After all, it seemed obvious that they had mastered their new powers and it wasn't known how much stronger they were now. "We were hardly able to beat them the last time." Buddy Rose pointed out "Who knows what new tricks they got."

That didn't discourage most of the gang. They, themselves, had kept to their training and even learned new tricks too. "So… I guess it's decided…?" asked Artie.

"It might be dangerous." "What the fuck ever, Buddy."

Lightning nodded. "It's tonight… or never." he put his hove in the center, and everyone else put their hooves on top of one another, and Krysta stood on the very top.

Bolding hove too.

With that decided, everyone went off, Starla hesitated for a moment. "Stalra…? You okay…?" asked Lightning. Starla seemed really nervous something. "Lightning… I…" she choked on her words and then decided "Never mind…" and then she was gone.

"What was that about…?" Lightning wondered aloud.

Krysta didn't know for sure, but the way Starla was acting it had to have had something to with Lightning, the way she kept gazing at him all through the meeting.

They've been going out on dates! Why are you treating the fact that Starla cares about Lightning with such secrecy? That subplot has already been resolved!

…

It was starting to get late and the sun would start to set soon. Titan's minions, in the regular forms, were already at the Peak of Blacktop Mountain and patiently awaiting the arrival of their enemies. "It won't be much longer now." hissed Mysterious.

"Well I wish they'd hurry." groaned Rep-Stallion "I want to have at these little pests and teach them a lesson they won't soon forget."

"Make sure you save some for Me." growled Dementia as she prettied herself up, trying to hide a few of the bruises she still sustained in past battles.

A black eye's real fuckin' menacing.

The others still couldn't believe her. She was going to get dirty again anyway. "Never mind her…" Mysterious said as he gazed back at the setting sun. "Hmm, mm, mm…! Come to us, our prey!"

…

Lightning and Krysta were already soaring toward Violet Swamp, one by one they met with their friends until the gang was all together. They soared over the thickets and brambles of the swamp and could see the mountain up ahead. "Let's go…!" shouted Lightning, and everyone headed straight for the top landing near the shrine where their adventures first began.

Technically, they weren't your adventures. You stole them. Toei, Saban, and Hasbro are still waiting for their money.

The gang all looked around. "Where are they…?" asked Artie.

"They better not have set us up…!" snapped Myte.

That's when the sounds of the minions' laughter were heard. "Well, well… right on time." said Mysterious. Then, the area began to warp around everyone. "Hey…! What's going on?" called Buddy-Rose.

"This is like some scary book!

I don't even think I want to look!" cried Rhymey.

If you can't make a good rhyme,
Then why is this fucker even wasting my time?
So until you drop the poetry act,
You're the worst character, and that's a fact.

In a quick zap, they all had vanished from sight…

…

They suddenly landed with a thud in a dark and eerie place. Dark grounds, dark skies. It was all dark! Bits and pieces and mounts of rubble, and corpses and skeletons. Small fog layers, eerie winds, a large castle…!

I cast Magic Missile at the darkness!

BOOM! Lightning and thunder shaking the skies…!

Dyno and Myte jumped and held each other fearfully whimpering "No Me Gusta! No Me Gusta!"

I love that the most distinctive characters in this piece of crap are only distinctive because of racial stereotypes and idiotic verbal tics.

"What is this place…?" cried Starla "This isn't Unicornicopia."

The minions' were heard laughing again! The gang turned round and there they were standing on a tall pile of rocks. "Welcome to our homeland." hissed Mysterious.

"Homeland…?" asked Lightning "You mean this is…?"

Krysta's eyes bulged wide, "The Dimension of Darkness…!" It couldn't be any other place. "Feel free to have a look around…" sniggered Dementia "This will be the last place you ever see… alive!"

Fine, I cast Magic Missile at the DIMENSION of Darkness!

The gang felt their courage building up and stood ready to fight. "We don't care what tricks you pull on us!" snapped Artie.

"We're not going to back down this time." added Buddy Rose.

"Yeah…? Well neither are we." said Rep-Stallion "There's no running away this time. This is a fight to the end. We'll see how you're little believing will save you this time."

Belief is not a physical object how can it be little. Unless you are referring to the amount of belief, in which case you're wrong, since they believe a lot. Must be using Starbuck's sizes.

"Enough chitchat! It's time for battle!" snapped Mysterious. Then he and his teammates transformed into their knight forms, and let the others charge up and ready their weapons. "Well… we're ready." said Lightning "Let's get them!"

The others all agreed and dashed forth like an army of soldiers charging. The minions stood where they were, not even moving and the gang seemingly jumped on them and began to attack full force, but when the dust had settled. "Huh…?" all they had done was hacked away at the pile of rocks, and the minions were nowhere to be seen.

"Where'd they go?" asked Starla.

"I don't know…" Rhymey said.

Fuck off.

Mysterious waited while hiding in the shadows, thanks to mastering his powers, he could blend in with the darkness around him and hide easier and then, with almost no warning, he leapt forth just in time for everyone to see him, "SMOKE OF PAIN…!" fire powerful blasts of smoky magic that exploded on contact, knocking them all down.

"As Brain would say…" groaned Lightning "Well… now who's a fool?"

When did he ever say that?

The other two appeared beside him snickering. "Did you miss us…?" Dementia mocked. The gang went at them again only to miss and be shot by Rep-Stallion's "BOLT OF THUNDER…!" an attack that let him fire electrified pulses from his scythe. Everyone jumped out of the way just in time.

This was getting them nowhere. Every time they tried to even find the minions to even try and attack them the same thing happened. "I say we split up." suggested Lightning.

Some of the other didn't like that idea. "Split up? Are you mad?" asked Dyno.

"We have to stick together, and form a plan." added Myte.

"Oh, sure, this is a great plan." snapped Starla "…staying in one place so they can get at us more easily…!"

BitCHY.

Unable to argue with that… the team split up a bit. Lighting also yawned a little. "Are you okay?" asked Krysta.

"I'm fine."

"They've split up." hissed Mysterious.

"Heh, heh… just like we hoped." chuckled Rep.

"And now the real fun begins." Dementia said then laughed, and they split up to attack each team.

Dementia went after Starla and the twins.

Rep went after Rhymey, Buddy, and Artie.

This left Mysterious to handle Lightning and Krysta. "This should be over soon." hissed Mysterious.

"Not as soon as you think…!" snapped Krysta "Ready, Lightning…?"

Lightning yawned again, but answered "You bet!" and he dashed forth, only to have Mysterious kick him hard in his armor. "UGH…!" and sent him skidding along the ground into a rotted tree.

Our hero, ladies and gents.

"Lightning!" shrieked Krysta.

Lightning looked as if he had been knocked unconscious, Mysterious just laughed at how pitiful Lightning's attempt was… until Lightning bolted upright, with a smirking grin, much to his annoyance. "Looks, like you have gotten stronger…" Lightning teased, "But so HAVE WE…!" and he dashed forward faster than ever and bashed right into Mysterious sending him sailing onto a pile of rubble… CRASH!

Oh shut up, you were nearly falling asleep for no good reason earlier.

"All right, Lightning…!" Krysta cheered.

Lightning smiled, but he yawned yet again. This was starting to get worrisome, but now wasn't the time to concern about it. Mysterious had gotten up, and didn't seem harmed at all. "Very impressive." he hissed "Perhaps I underestimated you… or perhaps I HAVEN'T…!" and the fight continued.

Meanwhile, Rep-Stallion was showing off his new and improved swiftness by parrying his scythe against Rhymey's sword and Artie's spear. Two against one and he made the odds look equal. Even when a struggle was engaged, and Rep managed kick the both of them aside.

"Hey…!" snapped Buddy Rose "No one doesn't that to my friends! VINE SNARE…!" Using his vines, he yanked the scythe out of Rep-Stallion's hands and grabbed it himself. "Ha-Ha! Looks the tables have turned! I got your weapon now."

Rep-Stallion didn't seem the least bit concerned. "Easy pickings…!" he growled as he stuck out his arms and his hands glowed bright. The scythe began sparking and shocking Buddy hard that he was forced to let go, and the weapon returned to Rep. "You were saying…?" he mocked. "It looks like the tables have turned again, and my weapon is back with me. I'd never let it fall into the hands of anyone else… especially to the likes of you!"

Oh no. However will our heroes escape this situation. Oh dear.

Buddy got back up after his shocking, and Rhymey and Artie came to his side. "We're not done with you yet!" snapped Artie.

"This battle's not through yet!" rhymed Rhymey as he gripped his sword tight, and as their battle continued…

Starla and the twins weren't having much luck either, so many times they had launched their attacks, but Dementia's swiftness and defences proved to be a bit much. Most of the attacks just missed her and those that hit her only made her angrier. "Do you know how long I spent shinning my armor?" she scolded, and she fired her newest projectiles in outrage, "COLDNESS OF DESTRUCTION…!"

"Don't you mean shinin--"
"Do you want us to get sued?!"

She fired a swarm of ice shards at the others, "Jump!" cried Starla as she and the twins leapt out of the way as the ice flew past them and completely froze a pile of fallen trees and rubble. "Aye-Aye-Aye! Hace Frio!" cried Dyno.

Both he and Myte were angry now, and thought they'd try a "SHOCK ROCK WAVE!" They slammed the ground, but their attack didn't work. No rock wave was formed. "Don't waste your efforts!" snapped Dementia. "The ground here isn't like yours back at home. It's littered the bones and essences of the life forms that once existed here."

The twins realized she was right. "Our ground attacks are useless…!" cried Myte

"Well my attacks aren't!" said Starla "QUASAR BEAM…!" Her beam fired, but Dementia just teleported, out of the way, and appeared right before Starla, slapping her hard in the face "AH…!" and knocking her down!

Lightning saw this, "Starla…!" he shouted! Then he got hit from behind by Mysterious' blasts. "AA-AAH…!"

I thought they split up.

Krysta hovered in and repelled the rest of the blasts with her defensive barriers, but the blasts were so hard she could hardly stand them herself. Then she noticed Lightning hadn't gotten up yet. "Lightning…? Lightning… what's wrong?"

Lightning didn't seem to have the strength to get up, despite not being hurt even from the last attack. "I… I don't know!" he said through a yawn "I feel so… dopey… drow….sy!" Then he drifted off into a deep, deep sleep. "Lightning…? Lightning!" cried Krysta.

Everyone else could see him. Lightning was just lying flat on the ground, hardly moving at all…!

To Be Continued…

Next time is part 2, what did you think it was?

[Oogie-Boogie]

Lighting does nothing helpful in the battle und gets knocked out immediately.
Our Hero Ladys und Gentleman!

[The Chosen]

Why do I have the feeling Mykan only knows about the phrase "Me Gusta" from that Rage Face?

[Waffleman]

Just popping in to say this isn't dead. I've just been either very busy or lacking Internet this past month. I'm working on the next chapter as we speak.

[Waffleman]

Huh, where was I? Oh right. Unicorns.

EPISODE 19
Fight in the Dimesnion of Darkness PT 2

The gang huddled together, and the minions stood side-by-side. Lightning was still sleeping deeply, much to the gang's upset, but to the minions' delight. "Poor thing…" hissed Mysterious "Guess he's reached the end of his rope." added Rep-Stallion

Oh, look! He's moving his legs! He must be dreaming that he's running.

The others tried to wake Lightning up, but he was really passed out. Krysta then realized what was going on when Lightning went to see Penny, and she gave him that medicine. "It might make you sleepy when you least expect it."

GODDAMN OBAMACARE![color]

"Lightning… please, wake up!" cried Starla.

"Come on, amigo!" cried Dyno… but Lightning hardly even moved.

The gang also realized that they had all huddled into one group again, which made them easy targets for their enemies. "Who should we take out first….?" Dementia teased. "All of you…!"

The gang were in trouble now, but they couldn't just run off while Lightning was down. "I have an idea…" Buddy Rose whispered to the others, and told them his plan. "Okay, get ready…!"

[color=orange]3, 2, 1, Let's jam!

The minions readied their most powerful attacks…

"DANCE OF ICE…!"

"THE BITE OF LIGHTNING…!"

"THE HAMMER OF EVIL…!"

THE MELANCHOLY OF HARUHI SUZUMIYA!

Right as they fired their attacks, Buddy quickly leapt up, "SOIL STORM…!" and his magic worked as it stirred up the soil in the grounds creating a dust cloud just as the attacks collided in a massive explosion. All that soil and dust and mist made it hard to see for a moment, and then when the dust had cleared, the gang was gone, but they hadn't been blown to pieces.

"They're gone!" cried Dementia.

Rep-Stallion angrily slammed his scythe hard. "They outwitted us again!"

That's really not hard.

Mysterious, too, was annoyed. "They must be around here somewhere." He said "Remember, they can't leave here. We'll find them, even if we have to tear this derelict dimension apart piece by piece!"

They spread out and began blowing up and attacking anyplace that could remotely serve as a general hiding spot, but the gang had actually retreated to the foyer of Titan's castle. The one place they hoped the minions wouldn't dare to attack.

Lightning was still sleeping deeply under Penny's medicine, and the others needed time to rest and think. The minions had certainly lead them into a well laid trap, sending them to this dimension where their powers were much stronger, while some of their magic wouldn't work. "Just look at them out there…" said Artie. Everyone gazed outside watching the minions blast more chunks and piles of dead trees and rocks away. They're powers seemed just as strong as ever, even after all that had happened outside during the battle.

Geez, being away from this for a month kinda messes you up when you come back. Especially if you read good writing in the interim.

"Come on out…!" roared Rep-Stallion "We'll find you!" He sliced the remains of trees down, and blew up more rocks.

"Where it comes from we want to know…
How can they just keep going like so?" asked Rhymey.

I am numb now. I'm sorry guys, this chapter is just kinda boring.

The others didn't know and were too busy trying to wake Lightning up. He managed to get his eyes open at least. "Guys…?" he whimpered "What's going on…? I feel so… heavy… and weak!"

"You're just sleepy from Penny's medicine." said Krysta "That's why you feel weak."

I'm sleepy from how dull this all is.

Lightning struggled to stand, but he felt as if he had a huge boulder rest on his back and slumped back down. "Shh…! Quiet…!" cried Starla "They'll hear us out there…"

The minions heard nothing and continued to search. "You're beginning to make us angry!" snarled Dementia as she fired more ice shards and she almost struck the castle off in the distance. "No!" Mysterious thundered as he intercepted her blast with his own power. Then he gave her an angry look!

Dementia apologized. "I forgot."

…

"Did you see that…?" asked Dyno.

"Si, I did…! That ice shard could've come this way." said Myte.

Obviously the minions didn't want the castle to get blasted, but why was that. "There must be something very important in here." said Starla. "But what is it, and where is it?"

Just the foyer seemed large enough to hide so many things in so many places. Lightning finally managed to stand up without falling down again, "Maybe… we should go in deeper?" he asked.

Seeing no other option and it would do well for Lightning to move around and shake his drowsiness away, they ventured forth into Titan's castle.

Wait, are you guys sure you're not on an asteroid? Because I've seen this sorta thing before and you gotta watch out for a bunch of valley girls from Japan and a guy in a green dress.

…

Outside, Rep-Stallion asked the others "What if they really are in the castle? Maybe they know about… you know…"

I don't, but I'm always open to learn.

Dementia grabbed him, "Don't be an idiot! No one would dare venture into the depths of the master's castle."

Mysterious wasn't too sure about that, though. "It is a possibility." He said "I think we'll play a waiting game."

Weigh in, thread. Are these the most incompetent villains Mykan's ever written? I say yes.

…

Even with Kyrsta's fairy glow, and the lit torches along the walls, the inside of the castle was dark and creepy. Cobwebs everywhere you looked, water dripping down from above and bits of dead bones along the floor. Starla stepped on a few "Ugh! Gross…!" she murmured.

Every once in a while, one of the others would ask if Lightning was okay "I'm fine!" he would say annoyingly. Then he let out a yawn, "At least I think I will be…"

That was the least of their problems- They now were facing an area with many doors and pathways. "Which way should we go now…?" asked Buddy Rose. The best they could all do was split up. Starla and Krysta would remain with Lightning to help him out.

Oh, big help!

Artie handed everyone a small paintbrush, and a small jar of white paint each. "We'll draw arrows along the walls in case we get lost."

Where did that come from?!

Then, everyone picked a doorway and headed through. Some ways lead upwards, others went deeper into the bowls of the world, and some just kept going straight ahead. "Hello…?" cried Krysta "Is anyone here?"

"No, go away!" "Are they gone yet?" "Shut up, dude!"

…

Poor Rhymey felt his hind legs quivering.

"Oh dear…!
I'm in fear." He whimpered. Then suddenly, something spooked him.

It was an ABABC rhyme scheme!

"I see something moving to and fro…!" Then he realized, "Oh silly me… it's just my shadow."

As frightful as he felt, he pressed on.

The thing about Mykan is that I can't tell if this is foreshadowing something or just another potential conflict nipped in the bud right away. It makes it hard to know what to care about. Oh wait, that part's easy. I don't care about any of it.

…

Dyno and Myte almost felt right at home in the mines, but it was never this dark and spooky. At least they had their miner's hats to give some light. Suddenly, Dyno felt as if he were walking on wood. "Myte… do you feel that?" he asked.

His brother nodded. "The floor was stone, now it's wood?"

Then suddenly the floor opened wide, as it was really a trap door, and the twins fell through, shrieking. Their shriek echoed throughout the castle, alarming the others.

Rhymey quivered in fear.

"Mercy me…!
I BELIEIVE I SHOULD FLEE…!" and he ran as fast as he could down the tunnel.

And he was never seen again.

…

"What's that…?" asked Buddy Rose.

"I don't think we want to know." cried Artie. They continued to walk forward, and suddenly slipped on a steep slope sending them both sliding down and away!

…

"Okay…!" Lightning cried "I think wide awake now."

"Good…!" cried Krysta "Because I think we should…"

"RUN…!" cried Starla, and all of them began to dash ahead, and up ahead were three doorways, each of them dashed through one completely separating from one another.

Dyno and Myte were falling, Buddy Rose and Artie were sliding, and all the others were running feeling scared out of their wits, somehow they all wound up crashed into each other… and lay on the ground right back in the room where they started. All the paths lead them right back. "Now I'm really wide awake!" Lightning grunted annoyingly.

What can I say?

As everyone got up, they felt really silly, falling for all those traps.

"This just will not do.

This won't work out for me and you." Rhymey said.

It's all more of the same Mykan bullshit.

"What do we do now?" asked Artie "There's no point in trying the paths again. We'll just end up back here."

The twins began to feel along the walls. "What are you two doing…?" asked Krysta, the twins didn't answer but just kept feeling along the walls, and tapping the stones. Suddenly, Myte reached up and grabbed hold of a torch holder, which moved like a lever. "Ah…! Esso Es!" he chirped with glee as the wall near him began to slide open revealing a hidden way to a flight of stairs. "Just like at home, Si." said Dyno.

Mykan has been writing fanfiction for what, six years? More? And his style hasn't changed one bit.

"Way to go, boys!" said Lightning "Come on, let's go."

Everyone dashed up, up, up the long flight of curving stairs up into the castle keep. They felt a little tired after running all the way to the top. "Whew…! Now I see why the minions always teleport." groaned Artie.

Not only is he awful, he's completely complacent. He never strives to improve himself. Let me tell you, being 100% satisfied with your abilities is one of the absolute worst sins an artist of any kind can commit, any creative mind period!

Nevertheless, they had reached what appeared to be Titan's old throne room, and the sight of Titan's old massive throne was almost breathtaking. "Even the Grand Ruler's throne isn't this big." remarked Lightning.

Well, I guess I should get back to the story. What happened? Right, nothing.

Krysta flew round, and around the throne as she flew to the top then back down again. She landed on the seat and walked around a bit, but something felt strange to her. "Krysta… what's wrong?" asked Lightning.

"I feel something…" answered Krysta "Something below here is giving a vibration."

No comment.

Starla walked over and place one of her front hooves over the seat. "I feel it…" she said. The other all walked over to see if she was right, but then Rhymey felt one of his hooves press down on a stone which was a floor-switch.

The area around the throne began to rumble and quake. "Rhymey… what have you done…?" asked Lightning.

"Oh…
…No!" whimpered Rhymey

FUCKIN' WEAK!

Suddenly, the throne began to move. "Hey…!" cried Krysta and she leapt off of it and everyone else backed away. "Look…!" cried Buddy Rose as something was rising up from where the throne was resting before, it was a giant glowing sphere.

"What is it?" asked Starla.

That's when the sphere raised up, and began t fly around in circles, and then it flew straight through an open window and headed outside. "Let's go after it." said Lightning.

Let's not and say we did.

They all flew up and out the window, chasing the sphere, not realizing where they were going at first until they ran right into the minions again. "Well, well…" hissed Mysterious as he held the sphere and tucked it away in his armor.

"Did you enjoy your tour of the master's castle?" Dementia snickered.

The others had almost forgotten why they had come in the first place. "No more games!" Lightning said "I think it's time we finish what we started."

Our heroes, folks.

"Funny… we were thinking the same thing." snapped Rep-Stallion as he gripped his scythe. The gang readied themselves, drew out their weapons, and charged up.

"Titans, Go…!" shouted Lightning. At his shout, the gang split up and attacked the minions just like before. It was harder than ever to find a good place to run because most of the trees and rocks had been blown up.

The battle seemed more equal this time as attacks and blows were sent and given, but the minions were still proving to be far too swift and strong. Their powers just never seemed to decrease or get weaker, no matter what they did.

As for the gang, some of their attacks still didn't work because of the unstable conditions of the dimension, and Lightning couldn't summon the rainbow rod as it couldn't travel between realms. "You… won't win…!" growled Lightning. "We shall see…!" hissed Mysterious.

Rhymey and Artie's weapons were starting to get scraped and scratched, while Rep-Stallion's scythe had hardly a dent in it, and Dementia's ice powers were making it hard for others.

Dyno and Myte tried to rush her from different ends, but she flipped out of the way causing the twins to ram into each other. "Did we… get her...?" they both said feeling dizzy.

Nope.

Dementia just had to laugh, but Starla didn't think it funny. "Oh yeah?" she growled, and lunged at Dementia trying to land one good bash, but she dodged each and every one of them and kicked her hard sending her back and right into Lightning, knocking him down.

"Starla…!" cried Lightning a she got up "Are you okay…?"

"Yeah… I'm alright." She answered

"This is crazy! We're not getting anywhere." Krysta said. The others huddled together.

"We've fought the best we can,
But I say we need a new plan." panted Rhymey

The minions laughed as the slowly crept forth "There's nothing you can plan…" hissed Mysterious. "There's nothing you can do." He reached into his armor and held out the glowing sphere. "We have all the magic… we have all the power… and now we have you in our grasp!"

Lightning took note of what was just said, and he also remembered how during the fight everyone was bumping into one another. He was beginning to have an idea. "Any last words…?" asked Rep-Stallion as he held his scythe high. "Make it fast…!" snapped Dementia.

"Yeah…" Lightning said "Everyone spread out…!" the others felt confused at first, but did as they were told. The minions were losing their patience and spread out to continue the fight.

What do you want me to SAY?! There's very little for me to work with here, and we're only about halfway done!

"What are you doing…?" asked Starla

"Just trust me!" Lightning said and then he ran back towards the minions. "What is he up to?" Krysta wondered aloud. Then they all noticed that Lightning was standing directly with minions all standing around him in a ring. "I give up!" he then said.

I don't know if I should be happy about this. I mean, all the heroes are insufferable and all the same, but the villains are so fucking incompetent. I don't know who to root for.

"WHAT...?" everyone shouted.

"You're right, we can't beat you, but I don't want any more trouble. Take me, but let my friends go."

"Lightning… No!" cried Krysta.

"What are you doing?" called Dyno.

Dementia felt she was going to faint. "Somebody, pinch me." She chuckled.

I would, but that's sexual harrassment.

"You're offering yourself to us…?" asked Rep-Stallion in disbelief.

No comment.

Lightning nodded. "I'll do anything you want as long as you let them go."

Mysterious thought it over for a moment, "Well… as tempting as that would sound, I'm afraid we must refuse."

Aw, come on!

"That's right!" growled Rep-Stallion "We swore we'd get rid of all of you, and that's just what we'll do."

Dementia nodded, "You destroyed our master, Titan, and now we'll return the favor. Starting with you, Lightning Dawn…!"

The minions charged up ready to fire, and Lightning had no place to run. "And now… goodbye!" roared Mysterious as he and the other minions fired, that's when Lightning spread out his wings and flew straight up, casing the minions to miss them and strike each other instead!

"Ha, ha…!" Lightning laughed from above, "It works!" and his friends caught on with his plan. "If we can't beat them ourselves…" said Buddy Rose.

"Maybe… we can get them to beat each other!" said Artie.

No comment.

The others agreed and the battle was on again.

Krysta fluttered round Rep-Stallion and near his face like a fly "Bet you can't hit me here…" she teased. "Why you puny pixie!" growled Rep and he launched his "BOLT OF THUNDER…!" straight at Krysta, but she dodged it and the blast collided into Dementia, too late for her to raise her defense. "AAA-AAH…!"

"Oh…!" cried Rep "Dementia… I… I!"

"Watch where you're aiming?" she shouted at him.

"Hey it wasn't my fault!"

These are the mooks I know and tolerate.

While they bickered and quarrelled, Starla and Rhymey decided to launch an attack.

"STAR SHOWER…!"

"DRILL QUILL…!"

The two minions were hit hard and went after Starla and Rhymey, but they stepped out of the way at the last minute causing Rep and Dementia to ram into Mysterious hard. "You fools!" growled Mysterious.

Another quarrel erupted, and Dyno and Myte saw their chance and launched their "BOOM-BOOM ROCKETS…!" and bombarded the minions hard. The glowing sphere also slipped out of Mysterious' possession and Krysta managed to grab it and levitate it with her power.

Boom boom rocket nezumi wo tasukero
Boom boom rocket neko wa kowai
Boom boom rocket rocket wa sugoi
ZUBABABABWAAAA!

"Look what you two have done!" roared Mysterious.

"We…?" snapped Dementia

"What about you…?" growled Rep

They broke out into such a quarrel and even began to fight each other, weakening themselves even further. The gang realized this was the perfect chance for them to attack with all they had. "IT's time to end this…!" Lightning growled "Once… and… FOR ALL…!"

That's when his horn began to glow and he was summoning up the uniforce, which alerted the minions. "Guys…!" cried Rep, the others looked up just in time as the other launched their strongest attacks.

Rhymey's sword was charged up and glowing strong, "SLASH THRASH!"

"ART ATTACK SPIN!" Artie was whirling his spear. They both slashed hard, knocking the armor clear off the minions.

Art Attack Spin? You're not even trying anymore!

Then Starla went next with her "PULSAR LASER…!" and her powerful beams knocked the minions' helmets off.

"My turn…!" Lightning roared as he stood tall and proud, bathed in glowing light and recited the chant and unleashed the "…UNIFORCE!" The minions tried to run, but were struck full force and screamed loudly.

They felt the magic around them starting to spark and flare off. They transformed back into their regular forms as, what appeared to be, the magic of their three knight forms rising into the sky, flare and sparkling wildly. They combined together in one big sphere and exploded in a great ball of fire! The gang jumped for joy and cheered with delight, while the minions could only grieve…

"Just like that…!"

"Our most powerful magic…"

"It's all gone…!"

They really blew it this time, and felt it was finally officially that they had lost for good. "Master Titan…" Mysterious whispered under his breath, and he shut his eyes tight "We have failed you!"

"You always fail me. I'm used to it now."

The gang was still cheering, but then something caught their attention. A portal gateway had opened, and The Grand Ruler's voice called out. "Lightning…! Are you there…?"

Lightning answered his master's call. "Yes, we're here."

"Quickly everyone…" Grand Ruler said "Come through this gate. Hurry, it will not hold for much longer."

"Andale, amigos!" cried Dyno.

"Let's go!" added Myte.

"Wait…!" snapped Lightning "We go… but we're taking the minions with us. They've caused us enough trouble for one lifetime."

THEN WHY TAKE THEM?! Leave them to die!

"Hey!" cried Buddy Rose, "They're gone!"

Sure enough, the minions were nowhere to be seen. They had slipped off to somewhere when everyone's backs were turned. Still, there was no point in worry about that now.

…

Once back in Unicornicopa, everyone settled down and relaxed to a warm and hearty meal in Grand Ruler's palace, prepared by Cookie Dough. Grand was very, very proud of everyone, not only for going beyond the call of duty and seemingly put Titan's minions out of commission, but they had also found half of a rainbow stone.

The glowing sphere they had found in the castle was in fact a defensive shell of soft magic that kept half a rainbow stone, the green part, intact. This was what was supporting the evil powers that the minions had all this time.

"But… how did it end up in Titan's castle?" Lightning asked.

Even his master didn't know the answer to that, (NO!) but one thing was certain, it was now imperative they all continue to search from the remaining rainbow stones. Even with Titan's minions out of action, there still other, more powerful evils still were lurking out there. "Our mission has not been fulfilled. Take good care, everyone, and never let your guard down."

Everyone bowed to their ruler, and then they all decided to head home for some much needed rest, they had a very exhausting night.

This was a very exhausting chapter.

…

Lightning and Krysta escorted Starla home to the library, and her tower. "Starla…?" asked Lightning.

"Hmm…?"

"I…! I uh…" he just couldn't bring himself to tell her once again, "Goodnight, Starla." Then he left. "Goodnight, Lightning." she whispered, and she didn't stop staring at him until he was out of sight.

"Why didn't you tell her?" Krysta asked.

"I just couldn't do it." Lightning said "It didn't feel like the right time."

YOU'RE GOING OUT THERE IS NO ROMANTIC TENSION!

Krysta sighed and rolled her eyes. She was still waiting impatiently for him to suck it up and tell Starla how he really felt. "Lightning… what am I going to do with you?"

…

(In Grand Ruler's Palace)

Grand Ruler: "Planning is something we all tend to do, but usually for what we expect. I'm very proud of everyone for working together and escaping unharmed, for they learned that there is always a weakness in the enemy, and always a way to get the job done."

"But sometimes, even the best laid out plans can go wrong, and can confuse and surprise you when you least expect it. Most of the time… we make plans to do things with each other, or plan to make or do something extraordinary, only to be obligated with other affairs and chores even duties that slip our minds, or just sneak from out of nowhere. Just remember, that there always might be a way to deal with something, even if it isn't what you planned at first. Sometimes, what you didn't plan may turn out to be something better than what you hoped for."

"See you all next time, and keep on believing!"

What the fuck ever. Next time...

[Nihilistic One]

What do you know, it lives!

Weigh in, thread. Are these the most incompetent villains Mykan's ever written? I say yes.

I don't know, Ganondorf and his minions from SMLoZ were pretty damn incompetent. I'd say they're about equal, with the jokers in this story having a slight advantage.

This post has been edited by Nihilistic One: Aug 4 2012, 08:07 AM

[Professor Pineapple]

May I ask if anybody is planning on mocking the sequel to this abomination? Because I truly desire to destroy a heinous Mykan fic. It is, in fact, one of my greatest desires. Am I allowed to do as such, or has somebody "called dibs", as it were?

[Maniak]

May I ask if anybody is planning on mocking the sequel to this abomination? Because I truly desire to destroy a heinous Mykan fic. It is, in fact, one of my greatest desires. Am I allowed to do as such, or has somebody "called dibs", as it were?

Well, I was thinking about it, but to be honest. seeing how I barely have time for mocks for a long time by now... its just that there are at least two or three chapters of the garbage I am actually want to call dibs on because they are so shitty IMO, they deserve a mock from every person who is willing to do them, even if they are repeating themself.

[Waffleman]

Sorry about the lack of updates, I've been really busy this month with moving out of my house, and I took a break from this fic to work on another one and you should read it.

Chapter 19 will be coming....I can't make any guarantees.

[Professor Pineapple]

Well, I was thinking about it, but to be honest. seeing how I barely have time for mocks for a long time by now... its just that there are at least two or three chapters of the garbage I am actually want to call dibs on because they are so shitty IMO, they deserve a mock from every person who is willing to do them, even if they are repeating themself.

Then I shall take up the task in your stead.

[Oogie-Boogie]

Few Comments as always.
But it is really hard to comment on this nonsense?
Nevertheless must agree that this was boring. This Chapter had not enough Mykan insanity… Why can the heroes not spontaneously sing “Amish Paradise“, this would be a nice change I would say.
The Comments there funny enough I think.

Mykan should do more insane things like the bit about “Minako Aino is a bit Horny”, that was funny.^^
Maybe someone should show him the Djy1991 Version of “Half Life: Full Life Consequences”.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHxyZaZlaOs

Maybe it could inspire him to be more… Creative again.

P.S.:

I spotted a Mishap. The Coloring between “GODDAMM OBAMA CARE” and “Let’s Jam” seems to be wrong.

[DrahcirAloer]

Now, I am not 100% certain, but Mykan may have come to the most recent thread here. I am not absolutely sure because of two things. One he said he would never go back there last time I messaged him, and two the posts he made had only one ellipsis between them. But who knows. It may actually be him, so if anyone still wishes to get in a discussion/fight with him be prepared. If not, then ignore him and he'll go away. Just thought someone might be interested.

[Waffleman]

Few Comments as always.
But it is really hard to comment on this nonsense?
Nevertheless must agree that this was boring. This Chapter had not enough Mykan insanity… Why can the heroes not spontaneously sing “Amish Paradise“, this would be a nice change I would say.
The Comments there funny enough I think.

Oh, trust me. In a couple of chapters, I will have a LOT to say. I've been busy with school lately, but I might start on the next chapter sometime next week.

[Oogie-Boogie]

Oh, trust me. In a couple of chapters, I will have a LOT to say. I've been busy with school lately, but I might start on the next chapter sometime next week.

Oh, that sounds GOOD.
I'm now very curious about the next chapter.
I didn’t read “Friendship is Believing“, in the pure form I prefer a MSTing-Version.

[Waffleman]

EPISODE EIGHTEEN
Fairy Queen

It was almost dawn. All the unicorns were home and sleeping, and soon The Grand Ruler would make the sun rise up to start a new day, when in a small meadow near Rainbow City, a bright flash of light sparked, and a little man, about Krysta's size with fairy wings appeared. "I made it…" he said "This is where I will find her. I hope." Then he fluttered off along his way.

A man should never flutter. That's just shameful.

…

While at the same time, The Grand Ruler was already soaring high above his kingdom. His golden wings and horns were glowing. "Wakey-Wakey everyone…!" he said soothingly. "Time to start a brand new day…!"

So everybody has to get up at the time the Grand Ruler decrees? I'm beginning to think that Unicornicopia is more of an Orwellian utopia, if you know what I mean.

With the wave of his golden wings, and sound of his voice, the sun was beginning to rise…

At the same time, every unicorn was starting to feel the warmth and goodness of the morning and began to stir from their beds. Lightning and Krysta were just waking up too. Krysta let out a tiny little yawn as she fluttered out of her little house near Lighting's bed. "Morning…" she said.

Lightning smiled at his little friend "Just was I was about to say to you." He sure seemed to be in a good mood today, and why wouldn't he? It was a beautiful day, almost the kind where everything would go right… not too likely though, but it was still a nice morning.

Wow, that was unecessarily pessimistic. Lightning? More like Eeyore.

Lightning opened his window, sniffed the morning air, and just felt like singing…

And here I thought we were over this.

(Style of Bear in the Big Blue House- Good Morning)

Jesus...Mykan. Please. Go see some musical theater. Just one show. When you get all your songs from children's programming, it's an insult to both us and you. Just get some culture in you, dammit!

(Lightning)

When the day begins, Oh…
I look outside my window
I see the sun has come to start the morning

(Krysta)

Why, Lightning, my friend, it's true
The sky is bright and blue
I feel so glad I gotta' say one thing.

Good morning, good morning
Good morning to the sun
Good morning (Good morning)
Good morning (Good morning)
Good morning (Good morning)

You're not the Beatles, shut up.

(Both)

To everyone

…

They left Lightning's house and headed to Rainbow City, and then to Cookie Dough's restaurant for a breakfast. "Hey, what smells so good in here?" asked Lightning.

"Hi, guys…" Cookie Dough called from the kitchen, "It's an all you can eat breakfast buffet. Help yourselves."

"Just...please pay this time? You guys just....eat so much, and I have to make money, you know? Not all of us are the personal pets of the Grand Ruler, you jerk."

Lightning and Krysta dashed at the food, and it really pleased Cookie Dough to see them and everyone else eating hearty.

"Oh, okay. I'm glad you enjoy my food. I wish you enjoyed it enough so that I could eat, but whatever."

(Cookie Dough)

When the sun rises bright
I love start the day off right
A good and hearty breakfast is the way

(Lightning)

So much we can do together
In this sun shining weather

(Krysta)

Oh it feels so right… I just have say.

(EVERYONE)

Good morning (Good morning), good morning
Good morning to the sun
Good morning (Good morning)
Good morning (Good morning)
Good morning (Good morning)

To everyone

…

Breakfast was so good, by the time Lightning and Krysta were finished, they felt so full and comfortable, they almost wished they didn't have to get up and leave. "Once again, Cookie Dough, your cooking has really made our day."

"Thanks, I guess. Why do I put up with you?"

Cookie Dough thanked them, and then they left to head for work.

Suddenly, Krysta looked up. "Hmm…? Awe?" and she caught a glimpse of, what looked like, another fairy, flying across the rooftops. She was snapped out of her gaze when Lightning spoke to her, "Krysta…? What's the matter?"

"Sorry, Lightning. I was just leaking commas in that last sentence. I'm fine now."

"I thought I saw…" she turned to look back, but there was nothing there above the roofs anymore. "Never mind…"

…

As Lightning and Krysta worked, helping others out all day, Krysta couldn't forget what she thought she saw near the restaurant. She finally decided to tell Lightning. "You think you saw a fairy?" he asked "How can that be…?"

"I mean, we're nowhere close to San Fransisco!"

Krysta was just as baffled, but she was certain that she saw another fairy. "You know what…" Lightning said "I believe you."

"You… you do?" asked Krysta

"Of course…" replied Lightning "Many creatures of different shapes and sizes have entered this world before, and who knows… maybe we'll find who you saw and maybe even get the answers we've been searching for about you."

Krysta felt her hopes rising, but in the meantime, she and Lightning got back to work. The delivered some mail, they helped with some shipping, and helped out at the library again.

Then, as they were heading through the park, they decided to take a break and rest on a bench, when suddenly, they heard a small voice calling, "Help…! Help me…!"

Oh no! It's Jeff Goldblum!

They searched around and saw someone tiny, about Krysta's height, stuck in a mud puddle. Lightning pulled the little guy out. "Are you okay…?" he asked, but then he and Krysta realized he was a fairy! "Lightning, that's him. That's who I saw." Krysta said.

The other fairy's ears twitched at the sound of her voice. He turned round and gasped. "It's you…! It's really you!" he cried for joy. "Queen Krysta, I've found you!"

Hahahaha, I can see RIGHT where this is going, and fuck you, Mykan.

"Huh?" remarked Krysta and Lightning.

The other fairy then realized, "Oh, of course… I remember." He said, and then he kindly introduced himself as Mallow, and he was from the Valley of Fairies, located in a nearby dimension. "For so many years, Krysta, we thought you were lost to us, but we never gave up hope that we would one day find you again and restore what you had lost."

When you're talking about dimensions, I seriously don't think qualifiers like "nearby" count. It's like saying the third dimension is a minute away from the second.

Krysta was hardly able to believe any of this. "I'm… queen of the fairy world? Then why don't I remember any of it."

I know why, and it's as stupid as you think.

"And how do we know you're telling the truth?" asked Lightning.

"Believe me, I speak the truth, and I can prove it to you." said Mallow and he held out his hand to Krysta. "Come with me… and discover your roots."

Krysta immediately started checking her hair, mortified that her hair color was wearing off.

Krysta didn't know what to say or do. This was all so sudden, but if this was really her chance to learn about herself and everything that went with her, she took Mallow's hand. "I'm going too." said Lightning.

Mallow objected to this. "It is not necessary for you to follow us." he said "And it also may be dangerous."

Krysta and Lightning didn't like the sound of that, but still. Lightning was used to danger, and insisted he go. "But what about The Grand Ruler?" asked Krysta "You know he doesn't want anyone leaving the kingdom without saying anything?"

Aha! So he's also enforced a blockade on dimensional travel! More evidence for the Grand Ruler as not a benevolent king, but an iron-fisted Big Brother figure. Unicornicopia's not the utopia it appears to be!

"Yeah… and you're doing what exactly…?" Lightning hinted. Krysta was licked, Ew, gross. and then she too insisted that Lightning come with her. "Very well…" said Mallow. He began to wave his arms and a smaller gateway portal appeared. Krysta and Lightning were amazed. "Come… let's be on our way." said Mallow, and all three of them leapt into the portal.

If the Grand Ruler is supposed to be monitoring all interdimensional travel, why are the portals just fuckin' open?! He's the most incompetent Big Brother ever!

…

They traveled across Dimensional Space, and emerged in a lush and peaceful forest. "Where are we?" asked Lightning. "This doesn't look like any fairy world."

And how the fuck would you know that, Mr. Fairy Expert? Jesus, Lightning's a dick.

"Follow me…" said Mallow "All will be clear soon."

Through the trees and brambles they went. Krysta and Mallow were able to fly through with ease because they were small, but Lightning had a hard time. "Next time… I think I'll bring an axe." He muttered.

Soon, they arrived at their destination. "Wow…!" was all Krysta and Lightning could exclaim. There was a small silver palace with gold turrets on the towers, and all around it was a beautiful valley with a small pond in the center, and flowers and toadstools were near the edges. A small Cliffside with a two waterfalls, lots of tree houses, burrows, and just ordinary hammocks handing around.

Easily, everywhere you looked. "Fairies…" exclaimed Lightning. "There must be hundreds of them."

"I can't breathe!" squeaked Krysta who was really at a loss for more words. As her face turned blue and she fell to the ground, Mallow and Lightning thought to themselves how good it was that Krysta was so excited. They decided not to wake her up from the nap she had just started taking. That's Mallow broke the silence by calling out "HEAR YE ALL…!" which captured everyone's attention. "The Queen has returned!"

That's when all the fairies gazed in awe and then rushed up, completely surrounding Krysta and carrying her away. "Hey...! Wait for me!" called Lightning as he ran to catch up with them.

…

A great royal feast was prepared immediately. Fairies did eat a wide variety of foods as well, only much to Lightning's dismay "It's kind of small… isn't it?" he said, and the chefs looked insulted, and gave him a very sour glare. "Uh… but… but I'm sure it's delicious."

Lightning Dawn, I think it's best if you keep your fucking mouth shut from now on. You've got the tact of a wrecking ball.

As much as Krysta was pleased with all this "Will someone please tell me what is going on here?" she said impatiently.

Mallow decided it was time she knew.

…

The Valley of Fairies was a small dimension, probably one of the smallest in the Dimensional Universe. All the fairies were creatures of peace, harmony, and friendship, all lead by Krysta, the fairy queen.

I don't know which is Sueier, her being *~The Last Of Her Kind~* or her being *~The Long Lost Fairy Queen~*

Every now and then, the fairies were permitted to leave the realm, and seek anyone who was lonely, frightened, or in need of companionship and vow to stay by their side for as long as they wished.

The fairies all had special magic that enabled them to carry objects hundreds of times their own body weight. Ten fairies would be able to push a small log. Twenty could roll a large rock, more fairies equaled more power.

So they're Pikmin. That's good to know.

Some fairies, like Krysta, could also use their powers in battle by sprinkling different kinds of dust on the enemies, which would then cause an effect depending on the dust used. They could also conjure instant defensive force fields. To negate, or repel any magic attack waged against them.

And Krysta's power is to bother my allergies. God dammit, Krysta, it's fall now. I finally get a reprieve from the congestion. Don't be like that.

Finally, very few fairies, like Mallow, could generate small portal gateways for very short distant travels across dimensional space or just to teleport themselves and anyone around them from one area to another.

So that answers the portal question earlier.

Yes, the fairies and their lives were certainly a beautiful thing, but years and years ago, an evil creature came and attacked the village. I said "Give me the treasure you hold, and you will come to no harm."

It was a treasure that only the queen, Krysta, knew of. A treasure so powerful that she knew if the evil creature had it, it would mean certain disaster for all. Yet she refused to hand it over and the evil creature lost patience and began to attack the valley.

The Fairies put up a valiant effort, but they were no match for the imposing power of the evil creature and his army of followers. The queen saw no other option but to take the treasure herself, and get it out of the land and fast! Just as she planned, the evil creature and his followers began to pursue Krysta, as there was no point in trashing the valley anymore.

…But she never returned, nor did the evil beast or any of his minions.

"And we wanted to KEEP it that way, but fuckin' Mallow had to go off and look for your dumb ass."

…

Lightning felt sorry for all the fairies, but he didn't know what to feel for Krysta, "But like you said… why don't remember any of this?"

"Just what I was about to ask." said Krysta "What kind of queen would just run off and then forget everything she ever did?"

What kind of queen INDEED. Romney 2012.

Mallow explained that though Krysta didn't remember, "We fairies have remedies for such misfortunes. We can help you."

Krysta and Lightning looked up. "You can…?" they both asked.

Mallow nodded… and before Krysta knew it she was invited to the inside of the small castle, which was supposedly hers. Lightning was forced to watch through the windows as he couldn't fit inside.

Krysta was going to be put to sleep under the influence of a magic dust made from mixing the grading of toadstools, flower pollen, and tiny bits of unicorns mane, which unfortunately they were out of, but luckily there was a way to get some. The faired gazed at Lightning. "Uh oh….!"

"Fine, I'll go look for Cookie Dough!"

That's when a fairy came and yanked out a thread from his mane "Ouch…!" he growled "This better we worth it."

Before long, Krysta was put into a deep sleep. Her nap would only last a short while, and when she woke up she'd hopefully remember everything. Lightning was happy Krysta was going to get her memories back, but he secretly felt sad and worried about something…

"Something troubles you. I can feel it." said Mallow.

Lightning explained that once Krysta got her memory back, would she want to stay in the valley? After all it was her home, and she was supposedly the queen of fairies. "It's just that… well… Krysta's my friend. She's the best friend I've ever had, and we've been inseparable for as long as I can remember."

"I see…" said Mallow "You fear you will lose your friend."

"And the magic that comes with it."

Mallow couldn't offer any advice, but Krysta would be asked to make up her mind when she awoke. All they could do was wait until then.

Suddenly, Lightning could feel the ground quivering a little. "What's that…?"

That's when a swarm of fairies flew through the foliage of the forest around the valley crying, "It's the monster! It returns!"

Mallow's wings twitched "The monster?"

Lightning's features hardened, and he began to dash off. "Where are you going…?" called Mallow. "I need to check this out." Lightning answered.

"No… please… come back!"

Lightning was already dashing through the forest in the direction of the rumbling. He eventually emerged on the other side, in a deep vast meadow, and he could see the beast up ahead. He recognized it almost immediately, "Serpent-Tyrant…!"

The Monster Formerly Known As Serpent-Terror.

The evil demon stopped dead in his tracks, sneered at the little unicorn and snickered. "Lightning Dawn… we meet again!"

"That voice…" Lightning muttered "Those eyes…!"

It was all coming back to him now… back when he was a cold and that serpent monster attacked his village and killed his parents. "You…! You're the one! You killed my parents!"

Serpent-Tyrant admitted it "Your parents begged me for my mercy, and so I gave it to them. I ended their worthless existence quickly! Yours shall follow if you don't tell me where you have hidden the rainbow stone I seek."

If Serpent-Tyrant was really such a monster, would he really remember two people he killed so well? It just seems really convenient.

Lightning's ears twitched, "Rainbow stone? What do you mean, and why are you after the stones?"

Serpent's eyes glared angrily "That… is of NO CONCERN OF YOURS!" and he dashed forth to strike Lightning who leapt out of the way. "I don't know what your deal is… but I don't know where the rainbow stone is, and even if I knew do you think I'd tell a slippery snake such as yourself?"

This angered Serpent and he charged again, he didn't dare use his plasma-vapour for fear of harming the fairies village, and he'd never get the information he sought. On, and on he kept dashing for Lightning. Lightning kept dodging hoping he could tire the demon out, but there was no chance of that for Serpent was much bigger and defiantly stronger than he was and could go on much longer than he could. Still, Lightning wouldn't let him near Krysta's village. "I'm not going to let you hurt the fairies! You hear…!"

He's not TRYING to hurt them, fuck.

Serpent merely laughed at him, "You, making threats towards me? How amusing!" finally, he pulled a fast one on Lightning, instead of charging straight at him, he burrowed under the ground. "Uh oh…!" cried Lightning and he decided to fly upward before Serpent popped up again.

POW! The demon launched up from the ground and bolted straight into the sky, straight for him. "Whoa…!" Lightning swerved out of the way just in time. "Ha! You missed me…!" that's what he thought when. WHAMM! Serpent's long tail came at him from below casing him to start falling. Lightning was barely able to get enough thrust to soften his landing and nearly crashed hard. "Uhn…! Ohh…!"

OH MY GOD THIS IS BORING AS SHIT I JUST WANT TO GET TO THE NEXT CHAPTER AND THE GOOD STUFF.

Now that he was temporarily stunned, Serpent summoned out his "SMALL SERPENT SOLDIERS!" some to hold Lightning down, and a few more to head for the village. "No…!" cried Lightning as he tried to break free.

Serpent sniggered wickedly. "Those poor, pitiful, fools! It's a shame their queen has only just returned after being away for so long, only to face the end of her land, and once she tells me where the stone is hidden, I will have no further use for her anyone either."

Lightning felt his blood turn cold. "You wouldn't…!"

"I CAN… AND I SHALL!" shouted Serpent.

"But you won't…!" snapped a voice from beyond the forest, followed by a blaze of light, and the other serpent soldiers running from the woods scared out of their scales. "Who dares to defy me?" snarled Serpent.

That's when a small portal appeared, and she stepped out and was followed by a swarm of other fairies behind her. She wore a royal robe, a warrior's helmet and was carrying a fairy-sized scepter. "Wow…! Krysta…?" exclaimed Lightning…

Wow is right.

His friend smiled "The new and improved… Queen Krysta." she said with pride. "I remember, everything now…!" she then snapped, and explained that after she had hidden the rainbow stone, in a last ditch effort, she blanked out her memories and sent herself off to a faraway dimension. She knew that as long as the location of the stone was not revealed, Serpent wouldn't dare strike her land or harm her people.

Because people can just erase their own memories. Just ask Trace Memory.

"Serpent-Tyrant…! You and your kind are not welcome here! I warn you to leave immediately, or suffer the wrath of the fairies."

Serpent was not taken in by any of that. "Wrath of the fairies…? Nonsense…!" he began to charge forth ready to strike the swarm. "Guys…! Get out of there…!" cried Lightning. The fairies didn't move, and instead, with Krysta's command, some of the fairies teamed up alongside her. "Now…!" she shouted, and all at once they combined their magic to form a much larger force field to prevent the evil demon from moving any further. He growled and roared in outrage, and then the fairies decided to get rid of him.

"As queen of the realm of fairies…" Krysta said with pride "I hereby banish you from our world. Ready everyone?"

The fairies all shouted out, and joined her in creating a large portal that began to suck Serpent into it with a powerful air current. Still, the evil demon was determined not to give up and began to struggle against the pull, and none of the fairies could give it anymore power, or move from where they were standing or the portal would break. "Ha, ha, ha…! Too bad fairies!" hissed Serpent "You're time is nearly up!" By this time, he didn't care if he had the information he needed or not, he was just going to wipe them all out in a quick instant with his plasma-vapour, but as he readied himself to attack, while still holding against the pull of the vortex behind him…

My eyes are just glazed over right now. I've been working on this chapter on and off for nearly 2 months, I just want it to be done.

Lightning had broken free from the serpent soldiers, and was glowing! "Not so fast, tough guy!"

Serpent could see him, and growled. "You think your puny little magic frightens me? THINK AGAIN, YOU PUTRID PONY!"

Lightning's narrowed his eyes "I'm no pony, I'm a unicorn…!" BECAUSE PONIES SUCK. he sneered as he glowed brighter than ever, and recited the magic chant, and shouted, "This is for my parents!" and he unleashed the "…UNIFORCE!"

The force collided into Serpent, and while to his it was very small, and didn't do much damage, it did give the fairies enough power to push him hard enough into the portal, sending him to another dimension. "I'LL GET YOU YET…!" he shouted before he vanished completely and the portal closed.

The rest of the serpents vanished, and all was quiet again.

…

With the demons gone, and the kingdom now safe, Krysta remembered she had hidden the rainbow stone, it was only half of one, but it would help. After she told Lightning the dimension where it was hidden, Lightning needed to head back to Unicornicopia and tell The Grand Ruler at once.

The other fairies gathered to make a portal for him to leave, but Lightning couldn't help but say to Krysta, "Look, Krysta… if you want to stay, or you want to come back with me… I… well…" he paused, "I won't hold against you."

"Lightning…?" peeped Krysta as she watched her friend leap into the portal, and he was gone…!

A small tear rolled down Krysta's cheek, and the other fairies felt sorry for her.

RIP Krysta's role in the story 2012-2012

…

Upon returning to Unicornicopia, Lightning found a letter from The Grand Ruler on his bed requesting he come immediately. Lightning did as he was told, but he felt nervous inside.

Upon his arrival, he bowed to his master, and Grand Ruler gazed at him. Lightning took a huge breath and apologized over and over for leaving Unicornicopia. "Calm yourself, Lightning." Grand Ruler said "I have not brought you here to scold you. I have something for you, something I know you will love."

Lightning was confused and then from behind his master's throne. "Krysta…?" fluttered towards him. His friend nodded. "But what are you doing here, I thought that…?"

Except that would actually require Mykan to change his formula, so Krysta's just BACK.

"Well…" Krysta said "I left some of my things behind, I couldn't leave just yet, and also… I live here!"

Krysta wanted to stay in Unicornicopia. She owed Lightning her life, and now that he fulfilled his promise by restoring her to her roots, she could never begin to repay him enough. Even so, her kind, the fairies, they were supposed to go out and meet new creatures and stay as long as they wanted. "You gave up your home, and everything you had for me?" Lightning asked.

Krysta nodded. She would miss her people, but at least she could create portals now, and go visit them whenever she needed, but as for Lightning… she'd miss him more. "Lightning, you believed in me… and kept my hopes up, and I don't want you to be sad just because of me. So in other words…" she flew onto his face and hugged him warmly "You can't get rid of me."

As much as I'd like to.

Lightning almost felt like crying, and so did Krysta.

"Friendship and believing are powerful gifts." Grand Ruler said "I am very pleased with you both, but next time, do inform me that you are leaving the kingdom. It is very dangerous out there."

Lightning and Krysta bowed to him, and then Krysta explained the location of the rainbow stone she had hidden. She remembered she had hidden it in the land called… Equestria!

Grand Ruler's expression changed at the sound of that name. "Equestria…" he muttered under his breath. "It can't be…!"

…

Author's notes:

Yeah that's right… it was unavoidable and trolls and flamers won't leave me alone over it.

I watched SOME of the eps of FIM to gain information I require to do what I need (Got very sick) and I am very, very, VERY ANGRY and upset for watching it!

Oh boo fucking hoo, you literal manchild.


Next time...

As terrible fics go, the next chapter's number one,
Come join me, and we'll have a little fun~



"I reject my Suemanity, Jojo!"

This post has been edited by Waffleman: Oct 21 2012, 09:23 AM

[Voltstag]

Mykan has no taste in music whatsoever.

Then again, it was already obvious when the mocks of the Digi-Dudes were made.

[Oogie-Boogie]

Great.
Krysta outright ignores her obligation and role as King of the fairies to be with Lighting?
She could help her friend way better with the power and resources of the fairies, but NO!
Pretty egoistical of her and dumb to be with Lighting.
And this fairy nation seems to be way more interesting than Unicornopia.
I want to know more about these gals & guys instead of that chump Lighting and his Doofus Brigade.

Good mocking of this chapter…
I’m really looking forward about the appearance of our beloved Mane 6.
I advice to prepare your best snark for this chapter.