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> Game of Thrones, Incest, backstabbing and more!
Post #1
Max-Vader


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post Apr 19 2012, 04:40 PM
When you play the game of thrones, you win or you die. There is no middle ground.
-Cersei Lannister


Where do I begin, my lords and ladies? I am a vile man, I confess it. [...] When I was 12 I milked my eel into a pot of turtle stew. I flogged the one-eyed snake, I skinned my sausage. I made the bald men cry into the turtle stew, which I believe my sister ate. At least I hope she did.
-Tyrion Lannister


Game of Thrones is an absolutely brilliant adaption of George R. R. Martins legendary series of doorstoppers, A Song of Ice and Fire. It is sort of like Lord of the Rings, except replace the Elves, Hobbits and so on with scheming evildoers, incestuous nobles and armies of horse-riding warrior-rapists. In other words, superior in every way. Also, it has a pretty cool intro as well as the most awesome midget ever.

Anyway, my favorite characters are Viserys Targaryen, Tyrion Lannister and King Robert. There's a whole bunch more, but it would take too long to list them all. Oh, and I want to strangle Cersei, Joffrey and especially Sansa with their own intestines. Oh, and Daenerys sucks too. And lest I forget, the Dothraki are basically everything from the accursations of "Savages" in Pocahontas taken together and multiplied by truckloads of rape.

This post has been edited by Max-Vader: Apr 19 2012, 04:59 PM


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I have had a vision. It has been revealed to me by the secret chiefs of the world that I am sexier than Buddha and harder than Jesus. I cannot die.
Joan (requesting my drawings): I'LL PAY YOU
IN ORAL SEEEX
Paragon: I will literally pay you in oral sex if you go on a call and sing that entire song [Little Girls by Oingo Boingo] for us and record it
Scream: Welp guess its my turn to owe Max a IOU blowjob
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Shane: Max for realest nigga of 2013
TigerEyes: No means yes and yes means anal.
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Post #2
Badass Overlord


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post Apr 19 2012, 05:48 PM
This show. This show is the goddamn best show on television hands down. And I'll agree with Max, Tyrion Lannister is a comedy goldmine. He is the best midget ever. Also his schemes are brilliant and he's an awful man, but being the black sheep of a family of fucking assholes made him a pretty cool dude. Yeah he's an asshole. But he's a likable asshole. As for the Starks, pretty much all of them are fucking great, especially Arya, Ned, and Robb. Sansa can go burn in a fucking fire.

The second season has so far been pretty fucking great and it gives me more reason to hate that little prick Joffery. Even his demon of a mother, Cersei is all, "What the fuck are you doing?" and then he slaps that bitch right upside the head like the incestious harlot she is.

Also best quote from Arya's sword instructor dude:

There is only one god, and his name is Death. And there is only one thing we say to Death. "Not today."



--------------------


"The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed.”

Commala-come-come,
The battle's now begun!
And all the foes of men and rose
Rise with the setting sun.


I am He who howls in the night; I am He who moans in the snow; I am He who hath never seen light; I am He who mounts from below.
My car is the car of Death; My wings are the wings of dread; My breath is the north wind’s breath; My prey are the cold and the dead.
- Psychopompos
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Post #3
Badass Overlord


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post Apr 23 2012, 10:24 AM
The newest episode was fucking great and at the end all I could say was, "WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK."


--------------------


"The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed.”

Commala-come-come,
The battle's now begun!
And all the foes of men and rose
Rise with the setting sun.


I am He who howls in the night; I am He who moans in the snow; I am He who hath never seen light; I am He who mounts from below.
My car is the car of Death; My wings are the wings of dread; My breath is the north wind’s breath; My prey are the cold and the dead.
- Psychopompos
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Post #4
Lord YAM


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post Apr 23 2012, 03:09 PM
I love this show but why do you love Viserys? That guy was a rapist (or would be, most likely) monster. I was fucking cheering when he died. Danerys is far more entertaining because she evolves and grows. Sansa I felt bad for after her dad died.
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Post #5
Max-Vader


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post Apr 23 2012, 03:22 PM
QUOTE (Lord YAM @ Apr 24 2012, 01:09 AM) *
I love this show but why do you love Viserys?

Because.



--------------------
I have had a vision. It has been revealed to me by the secret chiefs of the world that I am sexier than Buddha and harder than Jesus. I cannot die.
Joan (requesting my drawings): I'LL PAY YOU
IN ORAL SEEEX
Paragon: I will literally pay you in oral sex if you go on a call and sing that entire song [Little Girls by Oingo Boingo] for us and record it
Scream: Welp guess its my turn to owe Max a IOU blowjob
Paragon: I think Max is rapidly becoming the new pimp of PA
Shane: Max for realest nigga of 2013
TigerEyes: No means yes and yes means anal.
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post Apr 23 2012, 03:48 PM
Actually that's what made me utterly hate the fucking cunt (viserys). I have a younger sister, and the idea that anyone would do that to their younger sibling is utterly repulsive. Viserys is a fucking monster who deserved his death. It's like people who think that that the characters of durcet blangis curval and the bishop are enlightened rather than evil monsters that lucifer himself would find repulsive.
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Max-Vader


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post Apr 23 2012, 04:00 PM
QUOTE (Lord YAM @ Apr 24 2012, 01:48 AM) *
Actually that's what made me utterly hate the fucking cunt

Hehe.

QUOTE
I have a younger sister, and the idea that anyone would do that to their younger sibling is utterly repulsive.

Honestly though, he wouldn't be any better off in my book if he did it to someone who was not related to him by blood so it's sort of irrelevant to me. The reason I like him is because I think he is funny and I very much enjoyed Harry Lloyds performance. Sometimes, batshit insane characters can be very entertaining.
Also, you can't convince me that that line was not hilarious as hell. I wouldn't have been able to keep a straight face if my life depended on it.


--------------------
I have had a vision. It has been revealed to me by the secret chiefs of the world that I am sexier than Buddha and harder than Jesus. I cannot die.
Joan (requesting my drawings): I'LL PAY YOU
IN ORAL SEEEX
Paragon: I will literally pay you in oral sex if you go on a call and sing that entire song [Little Girls by Oingo Boingo] for us and record it
Scream: Welp guess its my turn to owe Max a IOU blowjob
Paragon: I think Max is rapidly becoming the new pimp of PA
Shane: Max for realest nigga of 2013
TigerEyes: No means yes and yes means anal.
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Post #8
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post Apr 23 2012, 04:22 PM
There's a mod of Game of Thrones being made for Crusader Kings II. It's looking pretty good in-so-far. The mechanisms for the vanilla game fit perfectly for Game of Thrones and A Song of Fire and Ice.


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Post #9
Max-Vader


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post May 9 2012, 06:02 AM
Well then, while everyone else is busy fawning over shows for LITTLE GIRLS, we are watching the one for MANLY MEN (and women): Game of Thrones. And since I'm finally done with both the first season as well as the second book, it's time to update my list of impressions a bit.
First off, Joffrey is, appropriately enough, the King of Douches. Next, Tyrion is the funniest motherfucker there is and watching him verbally destroy Cersei is great. Then, I have two major additions to my list of favorite characters (again, the minor ones would take too long to list): Sandor Clegane and Theon Greyjoy.

Oh, by the way:

Attached Image


--------------------
I have had a vision. It has been revealed to me by the secret chiefs of the world that I am sexier than Buddha and harder than Jesus. I cannot die.
Joan (requesting my drawings): I'LL PAY YOU
IN ORAL SEEEX
Paragon: I will literally pay you in oral sex if you go on a call and sing that entire song [Little Girls by Oingo Boingo] for us and record it
Scream: Welp guess its my turn to owe Max a IOU blowjob
Paragon: I think Max is rapidly becoming the new pimp of PA
Shane: Max for realest nigga of 2013
TigerEyes: No means yes and yes means anal.
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Post #10
Badass Overlord


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post May 21 2012, 04:36 PM
Cersei: “Do you know why Varys is so dangerous?”

Tyrion: “Because he has thousands of spies in his employ. Because he knows everything we do before we do it.”

Cersei: “Because he doesn’t have a cock.”

Tyrion: “Neither do you.”

I laughed so hard. SO HARD.


--------------------


"The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed.”

Commala-come-come,
The battle's now begun!
And all the foes of men and rose
Rise with the setting sun.


I am He who howls in the night; I am He who moans in the snow; I am He who hath never seen light; I am He who mounts from below.
My car is the car of Death; My wings are the wings of dread; My breath is the north wind’s breath; My prey are the cold and the dead.
- Psychopompos
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Post #11
Max-Vader


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post May 24 2012, 03:46 PM
I finished the third book and my God was it awesome. Fuck, Jamie became a genuinely likable character and Joffrey finally got the death he deserved since day one.

Also, two three more favorite characters: Davros Seaworth, Stannis Baratheon and Littlefinger.

Now for the bad part. Daenerys. Goddamn, I can not stand this bitch. She might as well declare herself Queen of the Universe, because it sure as fuck bends to her every whim. If A song of Ice and Fire had a Mary Sue, she would be it. And before anyone is accusing me of being unfair:

Attached Image

Not to mention her general hypocrisy of believing herself to be oh-so-just. Or her refusing to learn anything bad about her dear Daddy who probably gave her the crazy-gene. Or how about her wanting to re-conquer Westeros which will lead to even more pointless bloodshed. And even if she becomes Queen, she's infertile and has no living relatives. As soon as she's dead there will be THIRD war. Brilliant Dany, bring pointless suffering to the people you supposedly love so much for the sake of your own ego. And let's not forget that little stunt with the slavers where she got an army for free.

You know who would have been a better character than her?

Attached Image

Yeah, he would have still failed, but at least it would have been fucking interesting and I wouldn't feel the overwhelming urge to bang my head agaisnt the wall every time I reach a Daenerys-chapter.

PS: Just for fun.

This post has been edited by Max-Vader: May 24 2012, 03:47 PM


--------------------
I have had a vision. It has been revealed to me by the secret chiefs of the world that I am sexier than Buddha and harder than Jesus. I cannot die.
Joan (requesting my drawings): I'LL PAY YOU
IN ORAL SEEEX
Paragon: I will literally pay you in oral sex if you go on a call and sing that entire song [Little Girls by Oingo Boingo] for us and record it
Scream: Welp guess its my turn to owe Max a IOU blowjob
Paragon: I think Max is rapidly becoming the new pimp of PA
Shane: Max for realest nigga of 2013
TigerEyes: No means yes and yes means anal.
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Post #12
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post May 26 2012, 03:40 PM
i wonder what they will do with the bastard of Bolton when season 3 rolls around.


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post May 29 2012, 09:20 PM
The local video store had the first season on DVD for rental so I picked up the first two disks and just finished the first two episodes (and am now listening to the commentary tracks as I'm typing this.) I haven't read the books, but I have a feeling this is what Terry Goodkind thinks his work is: complex, intelligent, with moments of goodness and with well-written characters. I really like Stark family a lot (the scene with the dire wolf pups was one of my favorite scenes with them).

I don't blame you guys on hating Joffery and Sansa. I was expecting her to totally back-stab her little sister (either joining in Joffery's lie or saying something worse), claiming ignorance was a bit of a relief and while I'm sad for her dire wolf (Lady) had to pay the price, at least she got some comeuppance.


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Post #14
Max-Vader


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post Jun 11 2012, 02:27 AM
Read the foruth book and it was the best one so far. Why? No Daenerys-chapters, whoo! Unfortunately, that meant having more Deanerys-chapters in the side-stories that I just read (I don't even know anymore what the fuck THAT book is called, it's the one where we learn what happened to characters like Stannis during A Feast for Crows). I'm about halfway through that book and I can barely stand it. This book is the incarnation of how skewered the narrative gets when it comes to the dragon-bitch. Here are some of the funny things that happen:
-She hallucinates and talks to someone who isn't there. Gee, I wonder who was the real heir of King Crazypants, her or Viserys?
-Speaking of the Mad King, her way of "justice" is remarkably similar - that is cruel and without any prespective on how to not make yourself enemies as a Queen ought to know.
-Her Dragons eat children. She'd rather be in denial about that and think that the guy who told her about it was lying.
-She thinks Robert was a terrible King and TEH EVIL USURPER. Kind of ironic, coming from Aerys 2.0.
-It's ironic that she considers her claim for the throne legitimate and calls Robert a usurper for becomig King by conquering Westeros. Hey, how did the Tragaryens come to rule the seven kingdoms again? Oh yeah, by conquering everything and burning anyone who resisted to death with their dragons. I guess being a hypocrite is also a qualifier for a good ruler instead of Robert who was like, totally the worst King ever and stuff.
-After hearing that Ned Stark is responsible for the fact that she is still alive and convinced Robert not to have her assassinated, SHE CALLS HIM A TRAITOR JUST LIKE THE LENNISTERS AND EVERYONE ELSE IN WESTEROS AND SAYS HE IS JUST AS BAD AS THEM.

Attached Image

So yeah, Daenerys can behave like Aerys times Tywin Lennister squared and not only get away with it but also be treated like a superhero by the narrative, but Theon Greyjoy kills some people nobody cares about to conquer Winterfell and gets immediately fucked over by the narrative because those people he killed were subjects of the protagonists which is a billion times worse than killing people the story doesn't like, apparently. Obviously the only just fate for committing such a heinous crime is being skinned, mangled, mutilated and starved for half a year, plus getting your teeth knocked out and being castrated. Just fucking awesome.

This post has been edited by Max-Vader: Jun 11 2012, 02:30 AM


--------------------
I have had a vision. It has been revealed to me by the secret chiefs of the world that I am sexier than Buddha and harder than Jesus. I cannot die.
Joan (requesting my drawings): I'LL PAY YOU
IN ORAL SEEEX
Paragon: I will literally pay you in oral sex if you go on a call and sing that entire song [Little Girls by Oingo Boingo] for us and record it
Scream: Welp guess its my turn to owe Max a IOU blowjob
Paragon: I think Max is rapidly becoming the new pimp of PA
Shane: Max for realest nigga of 2013
TigerEyes: No means yes and yes means anal.
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post Jun 11 2012, 05:53 AM
I think the series of side-stories is called "Tales of Dunk and Egg." Or at least they're set in the same universe.


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Post #16
Max-Vader


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post Jun 15 2012, 08:50 AM
Wow, now that was an end for the book. Bolton's little bastard went full-on psycho again. This dude is a worse sexual partner than Jack the Ripper.

On an unrelated note, who else loves The Rains of Castamere?



--------------------
I have had a vision. It has been revealed to me by the secret chiefs of the world that I am sexier than Buddha and harder than Jesus. I cannot die.
Joan (requesting my drawings): I'LL PAY YOU
IN ORAL SEEEX
Paragon: I will literally pay you in oral sex if you go on a call and sing that entire song [Little Girls by Oingo Boingo] for us and record it
Scream: Welp guess its my turn to owe Max a IOU blowjob
Paragon: I think Max is rapidly becoming the new pimp of PA
Shane: Max for realest nigga of 2013
TigerEyes: No means yes and yes means anal.
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Post #17
Nihilistic One


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post Jun 15 2012, 08:54 AM
QUOTE (Max-Vader @ Jun 15 2012, 06:50 PM) *
On an unrelated note, who else loves The Rains of Castamere?



Can't say that I love it. It's okay, I guess, but the singer leaves a bit to be desired, in my opinion.


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Post #18
Max-Vader


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post Jul 4 2012, 03:31 PM
So apparently what I read wasn't a sidestory at all; as it turns out, it was actually the first half of A Dance with Dragons. Well, that clears things up. I must say though, they have found an excellent cut-off point. The last chapter of the first half is the most horrifying scene in the entire series, IMO.

Jeyne, her name is Jeyne, it rhymes with pain...


--------------------
I have had a vision. It has been revealed to me by the secret chiefs of the world that I am sexier than Buddha and harder than Jesus. I cannot die.
Joan (requesting my drawings): I'LL PAY YOU
IN ORAL SEEEX
Paragon: I will literally pay you in oral sex if you go on a call and sing that entire song [Little Girls by Oingo Boingo] for us and record it
Scream: Welp guess its my turn to owe Max a IOU blowjob
Paragon: I think Max is rapidly becoming the new pimp of PA
Shane: Max for realest nigga of 2013
TigerEyes: No means yes and yes means anal.
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